#matthias??? hes dead lol

[fantastic-nonsense]

stop saying "Kaz would be jealous and possessive over Inej if he thought she and Tolya liked each other" no he wouldn't! Kaz isn't like that! He defends Inej's freedom, autonomy, and desires at every single turn in the books. He spends the entire duology pining over her and yet gives her every single chance he possibly can to walk out of his life forever if she wants. It's the foundational cornerstone of their entire relationship! It's why they work in the first place!

literally the only Crow who does petty jealousy is Wylan and that's that on that, folks

[tklpilled]

& is strictly platonic, / can be platonic or romantic. bolded are my favourites. if there's a rarepair you don't see on here, feel free to ask!! i'm a multishipper and i like exploring different character dynamics :)

fandoms are in the same order as on the fandoms list, with the exception of genshin being last bc there are so many lol

bungou stray dogs:

chuuya/dazai

atsushi/akutagawa/lucy or any combination

jouno/tecchou

chuuya & dazai & atsushi & akutagawa or any combination

sigma/dazai

sigma/fyodor/nikolai or any combination

dazai/fyodor

ranpo/poe/mushitarou or any combination

ranpo/yosano

dazai/yosano

kenji & chuuya

kenji & atsushi

kenji & junichirou

junichirou/atsushi

atsushi & kyouka

gin/higuchi/tachihara

gin/tachihara

gin & akutagawa

oda & dazai

mushitarou/yokomizo

hunter x hunter:

killua/gon

leorio/kurapika

killua & gon & leorio & kurapika & alluka or any combination

amane/canary

pitou & youpi & pouf & meruem or any combination

kurapika/chrollo

fullmetal alchemist:

roy/riza

ed/ling

ling & lan fan

ed & al & roy or any combination

fruits basket:

tohru/yuki/kyo or any combination

yuki/haru

yuki/kakeru

kyo & momiji & haru or any combination

tohru & momiji

tohru/rin

haru/rin

ayame/shigure/hatori or any combination

tohru/uotani/hanajima or any combination

my hero academia:

bakugou/izuku/todoroki or any combination

toga/ochako

aizawa/yamada

momo/jirou

jirou/kaminari

izuku/shinsou/kaminari or any combination

p much any class 1-a pairing lol

dabi/hawks

dabi/shigaraki

sk8 the infinity:

reki/langa

joe/cherry

reki & langa & miya or any combination

the case study of vanitas:

noe/vanitas

domi/jeanne

noe & domi & louis or any combination

vanitas & mikhail

noe/jean-jacques

dante/johann/riche or any combination

roland/olivier

trigun:

vash/wolfwood/meryl or any combination

vash & knives

milly/meryl

jujutsu kaisen:

gojo/geto

yuuji/nobara/megumi or any combination

megumi & gojo & yuuji & nobara or any combination

nobara/maki

yuuta/inumaki

yuuta/maki

choso & yuuji

gojo/utahime

utahime/shoko

gojo & geto & shoko or any combination

chainsaw man:

aki/angel

denji & aki & power or any combination

denji/yoshida

power/kobeni

denji/asa

buddy daddies:

kazuki/rei

attack on titan:

levi/hange

eren/mikasa/armin or any combination

ymir/historia

sasha/mikasa

jean/armin

jean/eren

jean/connie/sasha or any combination

pieck/porco

pieck/hange

annie/armin

annie/mikasa

reiner & annie & bertholdt or any combination

annie/hitch

demon slayer:

tanjirou/inosuke

tanjirou & nezuko

mitsuri/shinobu

shinobu/giyuu

genya/muichirou

akaza/douma

mitsuri/obanai

heaven official's blessing:

shi qingxuan/he xuan

hua cheng/xie lian/yin yu or any combination

hua cheng/xie lian/feng xin/mu qing or any combination

yin yu/quan yizhen

qi rong & xie lian

south park:

tweek/craig/kenny or any combination

stan/kyle/kenny or any combination

kenny/butters

spiderverse:

miles/gwen

miles & gwen & hobie & pav or any combination

miles & peter b

six of crows:

kaz/inej/nina/wylan/jesper or any combination

nina/matthias

the raven cycle:

ronan/gansey/adam/noah/blue or any combination

henry/gansey/blue or any combination

breath of the wild/tears of the kingdom:

link/revali

link/zelda

link/sidon

mipha/zelda

daruk & urbosa & mipha & revali & link & zelda or any combination

link & tulin

honkai star rail:

stelle/march 7th/dan heng

bronya/seele

jing yuan & yanqing

firefly/stelle

aventurine/dr ratio

gallagher & misha

dan heng/jing yuan

boothill/robin

boothill/argenti

dan heng/boothill

kafka/himeko

kafka/blade

stelle/kafka

blade/dan heng

sampo/gepard

sampo/stelle

acheron/black swan

serval & gepard & lynx

arlan & asta

lynx/pela

ace attorney:

apollo/klavier

phoenix/edgeworth

apollo & trucy

franziska & edgeworth

franziska/maya

maya & phoenix

nahyuta/blackquill

apollo & athena

athena/blackquill

franziska/adrian

dead plate:

rody/vincent

the magnus archives:

jon/martin/tim/sasha or any combination

jon & georgie

georgie/melanie

basira/daisy

gerry/michael

genshin impact:

kaeya & diluc

chongyun/xingqiu/gaming or any combination

aether/xiao

ei/yae miko

cyno/tighnari/albedo or any combination

childe/scaramouche

aether/scaramouche

cyno/tighnari/alhaitham/kaveh or any combination

lyney & lynette & freminet or any combination

furina/neuvillette

arlecchino/furina

lyney/aether

scaramouche/albedo

scaramouche/lyney

kaeya/albedo/aether or any combination

fischl/razor/bennett or any combination

barbara/noelle

barbara & jean

diluc/venti

aether/venti

jean/lisa

mika/noelle

rosaria/kaeya

xiao/venti

beidou/ningguang

chongyun & xiangling & xingqiu or any combination

hu tao/yanfei

yanfei/yelan

hu tao/xiao

xinyan/xiangling

zhongli/venti

zhongli/childe

gorou & kokomi

kokomi/sara

ayaka/thoma

ayaka/lumine

shinobu & itto

kazuha/tomo

kazuha/aether

kazuha/scaramouche/heizou or any combination

ayaka/chevreuse

candace/dehya

dehya/nilou

nahida & scaramouche

navia/clorinde

navia/furina

chlorinde/wriothesley

furina/lumine

childe/kaeya

childe/diluc

shinobu/heizou

ayaka/chiori

chiori/chevreuse

[multifandomconfusion]

The Family Jewels Songs as The Crows

Kaz - Numb

Kaz Brekker is practically the embodiment of this song because he has tried to numb himself entirely.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Kaz:

Oh, I get dark / Oh, and I'm in Hell / I need a friend / Ooh, but I can't yell / Yeah, I'm no good / No good to anyone / ‘Cause all I care about / Is being number one

Far gone families, far gone friends, / That's how it started, and how it ends / I can't open up and cry / ‘Cause I've been silent all my life

I feel numb most of the time, / The more I get the higher / I'll climb, and I will wonder why / I got dark only / To shine / And I'll light up the sky / Stars that burn the brightest / Fall so fast and pass you by / Spark like empty lighters.

Inej - Rootless

Inej has been separated from her home and family for much of her life. I would guess that she feels homeless and like she doesn't belong anywhere which is discussed in this song.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Inej:

I'm a Cloud drifting by / Dripping Tears from the Sky / I'm a Snail without a Shell / A Leper with a golden Bell / I've got nowhere to go / I'm a stray cat on the roam / Choking on a chicken bone / For a home sweet, no sweet home

Running with my roots pulled up / So they could cut me free of love

Dragging my roots through the snow / No home-sweet and no sweet home / I've got nowhere to go / I'm rootless, I'm rootless

Wylan - The Family Jewels

Wylan obviously has a very rocky and difficult relationship with his family, specifically his father. This song fits him amazingly.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Wylan:

I can't break the cycle, am I just a fool? / Falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels / Pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end / 'Less I decide to go to it, will I see the end?

Ooh, don't you find it strange? / Only thing we share is one last name / Did I beat you at your own game? / Typical of me to put us all to shame

Oh, you think I'm unfit / Little did you know that I was cut for it / No glass slipper will ever fit

And literally the entire song.

Jesper - Shampain

This song combines the words shame and pain to represent the word champange. What could be more Jesper?

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Jesper:

Drinking champagne to forget yesterday / Coz I remember, the way, the way, the way / It ended the day, the day, the day, the day / That I walked away, away, away, away

Drinking champagne, meant for a wedding / Toast to the bride, a fairytale ending / Drinking champagne, a bottle to myself / Savor the taste of fabricated wealth

Matthias - Guilty

This song is about guilt and Matthias clearly struggles with guilt over all the terrible things he's done to Grisha, and in contrast how he betrayed his country. It also involves the imagery of a dog, which makes me think of Trassel. And it talks about dead family.

Lyrics That Remind Me of Matthias:

I was dreaming something dark / Hiding body parts / A broken dog, a broken leg / I left it cold, I left it dead

I was just a kid / That you could not forgive / Because it's harder / I was just a kid / And all I really wanted / Was my father

Guilty on the run / And I know what I have done / Guilty on the run / And I'm never forgiven

Nina - Seventeen

Nina is highly outspoken and opinionated just like the narrator of this song. Also she's seventeen lol.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Nina:

You're a rich little boy / Who's had to work for his toys / You've got all the sensibilities / Of an upper class guy / No I'm not your little slave / No I don't twist and turn that way / Only got bad things to say / You're always asking what is up with me

Oh, you are embarrassed of me / ‘Cos I use my tongue freely / Bet you wish I couldn't speak / ‘Cos when I do, you know / I tell you why you're being weak

You teach me how to behave / I felt you question the way / I was brought up as a baby / Well you don't know fuck about my family

[sunsis]

sporadic thoughts on shadow & bone S2

1. I personally have no issue with jesper and wylan’s relationship set up since even though they were a speed-run, the chemistry was on point and being that they’re slightly older than in the book and established as having met before, it felt in character for them to get together as quick as they did. not every ship needs to be angsty and slow burn. I've always loved that they’re the more openly communicative and playful pair of the group. wesper stans were well fed this season so I'm happy about them (and I feel it’ll make the future kuwei kiss all the more iconic/messy if they’re already a couple). 

2. every monstrous thing episode was peak kaz brekker with the ruthlessness and vengeance-seeking, freddy ATE and left no crumbs. I was a bit scared of him, he was giving the right amount of unhinged and bloodthirsty that was lacking a bit last season  

3. I do not gaf about the darkling at all but i am intrigued by nikolai and alina together with his powers and potentially in their villain era?? I really hope he stays dead though 

4. some aspects of inej felt out of character and random like her friendship with zoya when tf did that happen? ditching the crows so early to go join mal’s new pirate crew? and he’s sturmhond now for some reason? slay I guess

5. that little flirty look between inej and tolya on the ship made me uncomfortable!! as fine as tolya is i will NOT be supporting whatever the writers are pushing there. like set him up with genya instead (RIP David)  

6. nina and matthias are great no notes. their whole thing is the only one that seems to not have been changed much LOL

7. I needed more friendships not only the romances; I wanted to see more of kaz trusting and inspiring confidence in wylan, was hoping for jesper and nikolai bantering/bonding and kaz chiming in with snark aimed at both of them, JESPER AND NINA barely interacted which was criminal, zoya and alina’s close friendship came out of nowhere she just suddenly started being nice to her?? on the plus side inej and nina’s friendship felt natural and true to the books, and I enjoyed seeing tolya be the first person to exasperate jesper before he could talk their ears off. would be fun to see the twins go on more quests with the crows in future seasons. they honestly fit right in

overall I view the show as a fun decently-written fanfiction,  the timeline is f*cked with the the plot and messy overlapping of characters, but the cast is so great and there’s clearly so much passion behind it that I'm still enjoying it. here’s hoping we get that spinoff for the crows so they can delve more into the characters and include the book scenes we love without having to make space for alina content. 

[aces-and-angels]

thoughts on ilw ch 21 (spoilers below)

first, a deep dive on matthias x mc:

Matthias McQuoid: a man ready to let the world burn if it meant he’d get his greatest wish... which poses a very important question: 

Is it possible for Matthias to have a happy ending? 

Ch 21 gives us readers the classic villain’s monologue- a peek into grandpa Matty’s twisted mind. A part of me was waiting for the ball to drop- to make Lincoln proud and finally be able to say Matthias is an evil bastard. Period. No discussion needed. But then he comes at me with ‘I wanted to spend an eternity with my family by my side’ and I can’t help feeling the slightest pang of sympathy. Grandpa Matty, complex till the bitter end 😭 

How could someone determined to do absolutely anything for his loved ones be so bad? While Matthias can claim he’d move heaven and earth for his loved ones (and he damn well near does), it’s not received with open arms. Instead, it drives them further away until he’s left with a dead wife and a son who wants nothing to do with him. I fear that an MC romancing Matthias faces a similar, tragic fate. 

They say, "a villain would sacrifice the world to save you*"

*but in the case of grand-daddy Matty, only until you no longer serve him. he’ll sacrifice the world, but never himself

MC x Matthias’ plan to make Devon/Noah the new anchor is only a temporary fix. Eventually that anchor will weaken. Yes, you could argue that he’d just wash, rinse, and repeat the same steps he did with Devon/Noah for the rest of time without batting an eye:

Manipulate the world to his will

Bask in his riches

Spend another millennia with MC at his side #dearcreature 

Who knows? Maybe that’s how their arc will end come ch 23. Bring me the epilogue scene of Mathias and MC sipping cocktails poolside. Let the villain have his cake and eat it too, right? 

This particular scene makes me think otherwise:

Matthias’ cruel nature is no secret to MC, regardless of their relationship status with him. Romancing him, however, allows MC to justify it. But that doesn’t stop that bit of doubt from creeping up. What happens when they're no longer enough? Deep down, they already know the answer. But as of right now, Matthias loves them. Wants them. Ironically, they voice out this hidden fear to Adrian: 

“It’ll never be enough. No matter how much you get, you’ll always want more.”

Stripped down to his most basic parts- Matthias is a selfish, self-serving man. One who takes, but never gives. He commands, but will never follow. It’s not an if, it’s a when; after enough temporary fixes, Matthias will want a permanent solution on his quest towards unlimited power/immortality and no amount of ‘love’ will stop him.

If we’re defining a happy ending as getting everything you want, then yes, it is possible for Matthias to have one. In fact, it is guaranteed. MC’s happily-ever-after with him, however, will always come with strings. 

me @ my matthias romancing mc: wake up and love yourself hoe 

---

now, onto some general thoughts:

man, what. a. ride. the whiplash from going between these incredibly wholesome moments to these gut-wrenching death sequences is way too jarring. *continues to see what other atrocities i can unlock*

we finally get to see lincoln’s item in action- and as speculated- we can time-travel bitches🔥 how many ways can our scooby gang die in the next two chapters??? the answer will probably traumatize me. 

as someone who was blindsided by jocelyn’s betrayal, her flashback scene was amazing to read. the call outside the school, why she wasn’t immediately at MCs side after the cave collapsed- it was all right there 😭

adios to gunnor- im gonna miss his feisty ass lol. ilw has made me a connor stan, so that connor x mc reunion was *chef’s kiss* perfection

the ily scenes 🥺🥺🥺 

s/o to the peeps in the ilw discord for sharing screenshots of the good, the bad, and the positively horrifying. yall are real ones ♥

one down. two to go. happy finale weekend!

[lizajane2]

Shadow and Bone 2x03

"I feel ready to take on the world." Something tells me it's not gonna be that easy. Quite confident there when you're having PTSD from being controlled by Aleksander.

"I'm sorry you've been on safari when?" Even when he's pissed, Jes still adds a bit of humor.

Man, I couldn't imagine waking up, in the middle of nowhere on a little wooden platform surrounded by dead bodies at such a young age.

"If you want to help instead of spurting useless historical facts, go with Jesper." Hey now Wylan has done nothing wrong, check your tone, Kaz.

I had thought that Alina's reaction to Nik being the prince was a bit dramatic but then I realized she's just a teenager. Not an adult.

I love how David is so animated with his hands. Like when he asked Aleksander if his shadow monsters are with him.

Wylan's like "This isn't a factory we can leave now" but Jes, no "I love a little danger, let's break in."

"How dare you accuse him! He's a child!"

Jes gives him a pointed look, the kid, "Yeah I did that."

Fucking kids.

Kaz and Inej, fuck their relationship kills me. The second he reveals that Rollins killed Jordie, she doesn't hesitate to join him on his crusade. To stand by him despite keeping everything so close to his chest. I read a post about he was being mean and yeah, he is, but he just pushed his boundaries to somewhat help her with her wound. That was really fucking sweet. HE'S TRYING!!

"Is there no one protect you?"

"Was there no one to protect you?" but also, "No one's ever smart enough to look for the real one." Because he's not just referring to Inej, he's referring to his mental health that manages to bring him to his knees.

The line everyone is crazy about:

But for me and my unhinged ass... this, THIS IS IT:

"And I am happy to pay with yours." The way his voice dropped... OH. MY. GOD!! I may have watched that whole scene twice.

Everyone's unhinged this episode. Aleksander just removed his mother's finger. He's definitely a terrifying man and I adore it.

Nikolai is bold to propose to a woman who is already in a relationship... AS I SAID UNHINGED!!

Mal and Alina are so cute, but God they're lacking in something.

Genya...

"Actually you're walking away for dramatic effect." LOL.

Love how Wylan asked Jes not to tell Kaz about the boy, but he already knew. THE MOTHER FUCKER ALREADY KNEW!! I love Kaz with everything in me.

Nina and Matthias are breaking my heart. He literally ignored her, just straight-up acting like she didn't exist. Open your eyes. That woman loves you, you muscle-brain idiot!

I know for a fact Nina isn't gonna do that to Kaz.

Man, Aleksander sounds like he's dying for real this time. Coughing up a lung or two. I pity him to a degree.

She's gonna marry Nik.

[vole-mon-amour]

2x07.

Crying screaming throwing up. Although you can see how unnatural it feels for him to use the cane. The grip is bad (because Kaz is used to the crow's head and other people aren't). Plus, he doesn't even lean on it like Kaz does. Nikolai kind of just drags the cane around. Give it back to Kaz if you're not gonna use it properly.

This moment. Hell yeah. Women! <3

Alina annoys me some much. Everyone else is fighting, but she sits there with Mal's corpse, "Nina! NINA!!" Get and and fight, his temporary death happened so you can fight. Распустили тут слюни, ё-моё.

Everything that comes out of Darkling and Alina's mouths when they're together sounds so fake and pompous. Get on with it maybe?

What's happening there with Wesper, lol? C'mon, Wylan is so much more than that. Guys. Stop it.

Nina is one badass Heartrender. No but when will we see her raising the dead to save Inej? Ahhh.

When the cane is back with Kaz, you can see how he leans with his full body weight on it. Idk if it's the actors or Nikolai wasn't ready to use a cane, but that's a fact. I know it takes some time to get used to it, I've been there, but you lean on that thing, not just drag it around when you need to relieve the pain and take some weight off of your injured leg.

I'm also still surprised Nikolai didn't say anything about Kaz and his gang. If I remember correctly, he respects Kaz quite a lot in the books & shows him some acknowledge of it.

Ok, is there an au where Alina and Inej best friends? Inej cherishes her so much, she needs to be best friends with her to understand that Alina is also a human being that wants the same human things as Inej.

<3 Kaz watching his partner hugging their dear friend. <3 Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd ship Inej and Jesper lol.

You do that. Get the Crow club back. Build another club for gambling. Track Inej's parents down and send her on her grand adventures. :)

I'm so used to how dark the show is, I'm surprised we get to see any sunlight, especially HIM in the sunlight.

This is the cutest thing ever. Where is Inej to share that with her!! Where is Matthias!!

...then he gets up and starts the fight again, lol. that'd be something. i can imagine them filming this. i can't take this seriously.

these two becoming canon when? they're the cutest royal girlfriends.

what was this? things like that don't appear unless they're important.

[anddreadful]

46 for Teddy/Strahd! Also general question, what other ships are you accepting?

good question! I realize that the majority of my ships are completely obtuse to most people/ I have not even publicly published fics for most of these pairings, but for what it's worth here's the complete list:

Niche D&D ships:

COS: teddy/ strahd, teddy/ borakov, nimalia/ rahadin, ismark/ nimalia, Ireena/ ez, anastrasya/ teddy (*not all of these are necessarily suitable for all the prompts, lol)

SKT: marin/ kitro

WT: tailor/ chess

WTSC: Tereus/ Aradia

Published media ships:

ACOTAR: rhys/ lucien, elain/ lucien

S&B: Darkling/ Alina, Nina/ Matthias, Kaz/ Inej (my crows knowledge is based only on the show and some random fanfic sorry)

Dracula: Mina/ Jon, Mina/ Lucy, Mina/ Jon/ Seward

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

TWs: noncon, domestic violence, vampire shit

"They'll come for me," she says, the wobble in her voice betraying her. "Borakov--"

"You think he can save you?" He hisses, cape sweeping through the shadows. "I was content to let him live, before the wedding. The village needs a new priest, after all."

He closes the distance between them, expression darkening, and Theodora shrinks back into the alcove seat. The cold windowsill digs into her back.

"But now I'm going to rip the wings from his back and throw him from the cliffside," he snarls. "Tell me, were you still wearing your wedding dress when you spread your legs for him?"

It feels as though she's been struck. An unbidden noise of distress sounds in her throat, like a wounded animal, and he laughs, pure black disdain. "Oh yes, I know. You've hardly made it a secret, pawing at him every opportunity you get."

"You said you didn't want me anymore!" she cries, and it cracks, pathetic and raw, her angry hurt bleeding through.

He crouches to her level, fangs glinting in the candlelight. A pale, long-fingered hand rises to stroke her hair, as if he were comforting a child. "You're mine, Tatyana." The words are soft and hateful. "Always. No matter what a traitorous little whore you are."

She hates this man. Hates him. Tears of pure fury sting her eyes, and she wills them not to fall, not to give him the satisfaction.

"I love him," she spits. And I never loved you.

She expects to invoke his rage, but instead, he considers her coolly, still running his fingers through her hair. "Perhaps I should have you rip out his throat, instead," he muses. "You'll be so hungry I may not even have to Charm you. I think Borakov would like that, don't you? Sustaining you with his death."

"He loves me," The anger is so heady it's making her tremble. "Even when you were lying to me, you didn't bother to pretend you do."

"Yes, he does." His hand tightens in her hair, his grip forcing her head back, and she swallows a whine. "Which is why it's going to hurt him so very badly when he arrives in all his pious glory to find you already dead."

He kisses her, hard, an imperious press of his mouth against hers. His lips are cold and unyielding. She shoves against his chest uselessly, twists and pulls -- he may as well be made of marble for all the good it does her. Just as a scream builds in her throat, quick as a strike of lightning, he wrenches her head to the side, and bites down.

Give me a ship and a prompt number and i'll write a minific!

[dmclemblems]

Tbh the Deers are kinda "funny" in their own route. In the first half they are all like "Uh, glad we don't have to hurt Ferdinand and Bernadetta even though they attacked us" - which is understandable bc they are former classmates. But they don't seem to mind this when invade Faerghus? So, the Lions were the unloved outsiders at Garreg March or what? lol

Yeah, I noticed that as well. When it came specifically to those two I understood it because they were not only classmates but also good people. Playing the game myself, I also didn’t want Ferdinand to die and you can recruit Bernadetta so that’s a generally moot point. I just don’t like how they turn around and act sad (or at least, Claude does. Most of them don’t give a rat’s ass) that they "have” to fight classmates from Faerghus even though they’re the ones invading.

Some of the Deer I do prefer their Hopes counterparts because they were given substantially more characterization and personality. Lorenz I like both equally since it’s difficult to say I prefer Hopes’ over Houses’, since in Houses it was just a case of bad writing for him a lot and using him as a meme rather than him having poor characterization. Leonie and Hilda though actually got personality outside of their One Main Trait that IS likes to use over and over for absolutely everything. Hilda being lazy and Leonie obsessing about Jeralt made me really, really not care for them in Houses. There’s more to them in Hopes - like, a lot more - so it’s sad that they were lowkey ruined for me by acting all excited and heartless about attacking Faerghus.

Also, the fact that Hilda didn’t even remember who the Fraldarius heir was would imply to me that she didn’t care enough to even remember the Lions. Raphael forget it, I’d punch him in the face if I could. All he cared about was partying, eating and using his muscles and beating people up, very similar to Caspar. He wasn’t the softhearted, kind Raphael in Houses who would’ve been really sad to see all that happen.

And let’s not forget they just walked in and murdered Sylvain’s dad and then talked shit about “chivalry” as if that’s what Matthias even died for (which he didn’t, and Sylvain explicitly explained that he died for his friends/family and home because he wanted to protect them. He didn’t die for some old honorable code that the fandom and GW try to bury Faerghus in). Not only did they invade, and not only did they kill an important defense for invasions from a foreign territory (which Claude should know is a shitty choice, especially in GW ffs), but they killed a former classmate’s parent with literally no sympathy. The man was defending his home from invaders and giving his best friend and his best friend’s son time to escape (which, mind you, I’d do that too and that’s not chivalry lol. If you invaded my home and my best friend was there with me, I’d fight for her to get away too if I had to and to protect my home. You don’t do that shit just because you wanna be chivalrous).

The funny thing about my argument is that at first when I described how they just walked in and killed a former classmate’s parent, I didn’t even realize that Sylvain literally said the exact same fucking thing if you attack him with Claude in the next chapter. The game literally uses my same argument and I didn’t know that at first when I used that argument, and Sylvain is pissed. Mind you, Claude is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sowwie, das war, we’ve all lost peeple we lub (also not true because all the people on their side that matter to them survive except possibly Jeralt and Judith, tops; so they haven’t all lost people important to them).

No, you invaded them and killed a young man’s father and then talked shit about a dead man who did nothing to y’all except defend his home and friends against your invasion. Victim blaming is strong in GW and it’s disgusting. Saying basically “oh well too bad your dad died defending from our invasion, that’s how it goes, sucks to suck” is like attacking an innocent victim on the street and being like “oh well, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time so you just have to die and accept it”. Blaming someone for your decision to kill them is something Edelgard does tbh in CF. That’s not shit Claude does.

#notmyClaude

[thefandomtraveler]

Everything I liked about Shadow and Bone season 2 (warning: much comments about the crows + fangirling about the cast):

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2!!!

- first off all the new characters are amazing, I'm in love with Nikolai, still not over how perfect Jack is as Wylan, and Tolya and Tamar were so god damn cool I can't

- also everyone looked so good

- loved the whole part where they were in Bhez Ju (and the story about Sankta Neyar)

- Freddy Carter I bow down to you that performance was amazing, seriously I couldn't picture a better kaz

- also Daisy was so good too, like I was crying everytime she was on screen

- and basically everyone else, I'm so amazed by this whole cast, they really all brought these characters to life

- while wesper pining is like one of my favourite things in the books, i still really enjoyed what they did in the show

- just Wylan looking at Jesper like he is the only person that matters

- Jesper's reaction to Wylan playing piano had me smiling like an idiot

- AND THE KISS i gasped so loud... i was giggling and kicking my feet in the air and had to replay the scene

- also kanej was everything this season, we got so many scenes from the books and more (really glad they didn't kiss, though... netflix really had me worried at some points that it would happen)

- Nina Zenik was amazing the whole time, just her comments and looks whenever Kaz was being an idiot

- helnik had me in chokehold

- Kaz' reaction at wesper kissing was so funny (also not him cockblocking them in the morning, a really Kaz thing to do + Jesper's "No!" had me rolling)

- "I kinda like your face." just let me die here and now

- Tolya talking about poetry and him helping wesper

- Jesper realizing he HAS met Wylan before, only when he was LAYING ON TOP OF HIM... in the middle of a FIGHT

- Wylan talking about butterflies while everyone is dying, please he just wanted to tell Jesper they are so cute

- Jesper meeting his mother again I CRIED

- just Kaz' whole backstory, already hung on every page when I read it, my emotions were all over the place seeing it on screen

- Kaz talking to Pekka Rollins, just that whole performance deserves an Oscar thank you

- literally every fight scene

- first meeting of Nikolai and Kaz/Jesper (and Kaz figuring Nikolai out SO FAST and him side eyeing Jesper)

- Jesper calling Kaz his brother... this show wants me dead

- Nina and Inej friendship

- Jesper in a Kilt for like half of the season

- Nikolai revealing who he really is had me on the floor, i love that man so much (also Alina punching him in the face for keeping it a secret lol)

- Alina being a badass queen. That's it.

- felt so bad for Mal this season, my man was really going through it damn

- Ben Barnes' performance as the darkling was so good, but we already knew that

- Genya and David had my heart... I was already emotional every time they were on screen together but when Genya found the ruby and the scetch of the ring I was bawling my eyes out

- everytime Genya and Alina hugged

- Tamar and Nadia just being happy lesbians in the background, good for them (wish we would have seen more of them)

- just every Tolya and Tamar interaction (especially the hug when Tolya came back), also wished we could have seen more them

- Jesper hugging Inej and twirling her around (they are best friends i love them so much)

- the whole sequence of Alina and Mal at the end destroying the fold

- Matthias seeing the wolves and feeding them + the scene at the end where he doesn't fight against them and they stand next to him instead

- the difference between Nina telling everyone Matthias is the love of her life and him being in hellgate, having the worst time of his life, because he hates her but also really doesn't

- Inej killing the shadow monsters with the sword (what a queen)

- Zoya just being herself

- "And how will you have me?", that whole scene had me holding my breath....

- "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I won't have you at all." screaming into my pillow

- Jesper shouting "That's my man!" when Wylan threw the bomb at the shadow monsters (+ him saying that they don't have to put a label on it just after realizing what he said)

- Jesper trying to figure out how to get things right with Wylan (and failing rip)

- Wylan and Jesper standing in the background holding eachother after they talk and make things right

- Wylan trying to hide the fact that he is the son of one of the richest man in Ketterdam

- and him trying to convince Kaz that it isn't Alby's fault, who his father is because Wylan knows how that feels

- Genya looking for David's heartbeat

- David telling Genya she does not need to be fixed

- Baghra casually breaking out of her prison, because really, what did Kirigan thought? Leaving her and Genya without a supervisor and assuming she would sit still in her cage... really wasn't his smartest move

- "Someday, someone is going to sweep you off your feet so hard, you won't know what hit you." / "I could fix him." I can't WAIT for Zoyalai (if we ever get another season)

- Jordie and little Kaz 🥺

- Nina getting waffles and Kaz giving her a look of pure confusion

- also their whole interaction at the tea shop

- Inej not being able to leave Kaz after him panicking

- Wylan telling the others he wants to know the plan too and then crossing his arms (i'm sorry babes all you do is looking adorable we need to work on that one)

- "You guard against pain. You guard against joy. But when you allow yourself to be blindsided by love... two hearts make a universe" her whole speech had me in tears

- Neyar and Jesper's talk about his powers and that he has a lot to catch up to

- over all him slowly accepting who he is and not wanting to hide anything (including Wylan)

- Wesper healthy communication is all I needed actually, they mean so much to me you don't understand

- Wylan and Jesper breaking into that landhouse and pretending to want to fix the piano

- Nina getting the information about the office so easily and Kaz being impressed (i love her)

- Wylan looking away whenever he smiles

- "What you did back there, made you a Crow" and "When was the last time you ate"... Kaz Brekker you aren't beating those dad crow allegations

- the moment when you think Nina actually betrayed Kaz but then realise it was the plan all along because obviously, it's Kaz Brekker

- Tolya and Nina bonding over food (mood)

- Wylan being so offended when Jepser calls him a total stranger (i'd be too tbf)

- "Are you worried about me Jesper Fahey?"

- the scene of Baghra and Kirigan where she sacrifices herself (I really like that this scene shows that there is still something human about the Darkling)

- "My demolitions expert." / "Expert? I mean, yes, expert." Never change Wylan

- Nikolai and Dominik bromance

- Tolya and Tamar knowing the other is there and alive by their necklaces

- Jesper embracing his grisha powers

- Inej and Zoya fighting together is something I didn't know I needed

- the five of crows joke

- the parallel of Matthias seeing Nina in the beginning of the season and ignoring her vs both of them screaming eachother's names while being dragged away at the end

- Mal and Nikolai just getting along and trusting eachother

- the teasers about Jurda Parem, the ice-court heist and Sankta Lizabeta

[thosesillylittlegayghosts]

Episode 8 thoughts

Omg I’m almost done

Honestly loving all these intros, although my favourites still the crow one

Ohhh wait no nikolais gonna get attacked in the chapel isn’t he

KAZ GAVE NIKOLAI HIS CANE THEY ARE IN FACT BEST FRIENDS

WYLANS HOLDING JESPERS HAT

my man! I mean we haven’t actually put a label on that have we? GOD I LOVE THEM JESPERS SUCH A DISASTER BI I CANT

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID I LOVE YOU

Ding dong mals dead

SLAY ALINA

Darkling shut up. No one cares and I mean that literally

SLAY SHE DID IT GUYS

NIKOLAI NOOO

INEJ GHAFA DOING A SPIN MIDAIR WAS SOMETHING I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED

Lol look at him talking about how he’s gonna live while he’s dying

Slay Alina you will in fact save yourself

Inej save her life rn

OMG SHE THREW THE SWORD SLAY INEJ I LOVE HER SO MUCH

Are they seriously tryna push the darklina agenda rn?

OMG NO SLAY SHE JUST FUCKING STABBED HIM

AS SHE SHOULD

Why’s his blood black?

NIKOLAI MY BELOVED ITS GONNA BE OKAY NOT FOR A LONG TIME BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL BE

Kick him zoya he deserves it

IS BURNING THE DARKLINGS BODY THE BONFIRE THE CAST WAS TALKING ABOUT?? DO THEY LITERALLY HAVE A BONFIRE AROUND HIS BODY?

Also there’s still 49 minutes left I’m not entirely sure I want to watch them

Who’s body?

KAZ KNOWS POETRY?!

God Nikolais best mates dead and he’s so heartbroken

Kaz go to Inej challenge

Does Alina not lose her powers?

Not Kaz watching Inej

Nikolai and zoya in the same sentence….that it. Is that all we’re getting?!

THEYRE JUST STARING AT EACH OTHER

JESPER I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF

YES KAZ GET THAT MONEY

Tamar and Nadia holding hands!

JESPER BROKE THE FOURTH WALL

OH SHIT WHAT?? DOES MAL NOT LOVE ALINA ANYMORE?!

Nina and Kaz being besties

Nina talking about clawing her way to a happily ever after and KAZ LOOKING AT INEJ

NO MATTHIAS DO NOT TEAM UP WITH PEKKA

NO NO DAVID BETTER NOT BE DEAD ALREADY

NOT A RUBY AND THE DESIGN FOR A RING NO FUCKING WRITERS NEED TO CHILL THE HELL OUT WHAT THE FUCK

IT WAS BAD ENOUGH IT WAS THEIR WEDDING DAY BUT THEY DIDNT EVEN GET ENGAGED

WHY IS THE DARKLING GETTING MORE OF A FUNERAL THEN DAVID

Zoya and Nikolai finally in the same place and they’re not even gonna flirt

Ngl them having this conversation over the darkling burning corpse is a power play

AHHH THE BEE OMG THATS SO SMART THATS ACTUALLY SO SMART CAUSE ONLY SHOW WATCHERS ARENT GONNA NOTICE ANYTHING

OMG WHAT MALS GONNA BE A PRIVATEER?! WHAT

Yeah but if your paths are that you both decide not to see each other again that’s not really proving anything is it?

MAL DIDN’T GET THE TATOO THANK GOD

Bestie Alina don’t cry he’s really not worth it

INEJ PRAYING IN THE CHAPEL

Is that Kaz brekker? Yes it is!

AYYY MATTHIAS GOT HIS PARDON

AHHH HES SAYING GOODBYE BUT KAZ BREKKER DOESNT SAY GOODBYE

HES BEEN SENDING SPIES TO AUCTIONS TO TRY AND FIND THE GUY WHO KIDNAPPED HER

HE WAS LOOKING FOR HER FAMILY BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT HER TO LOSE HER BROTHER

INEJ PRAYS FOR JORDIE

WHAT DO YOU WANT THEN?!?!! AHHHHH HE WAS GOING TO SAY YOU INEJ YOU AND THEN HE CHANGED HIS MIND AND SAID ABOUT THE GOLD

HIS MOUTH STARTED MOVING TO SAY YOU AND THEN HE STOPPED HIMSELF

HE ASKED HER TO STAY

FUCK OFF IM NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

STAY IN KETTERDAM STAY WITH ME

I WANT YOU TO I WANT YOU

THEYRE TECHNICALLY HOLDING HANDS

AND HOW WILL YOU HAVE ME

I WILL HAVÉ YOU WITHOUT YOUR ARMOR KAZ BREKKER OR I WILL NOT HAVE YOU AT ALL

I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS LIKE AT ALL

Off topic but Inej looks so gorgeous

ITS THE WAY THE TWO MAIN KANEJ SCENES IN THIS SHOW BOTH TAKE PLACE IN PLACES OF WORSHIP?!

THE HOPE IN HIS EYES WHEN SHE SAID I WILL HAVE YOU

AHHHH NADIAS GOING WITH TAMAR

AHHH MALS STURMHOND NOW?!

OMG INEJ IS GOING WITH

FUCK OFF NO WHAT

I WAS CONCERNED A FEW EPISODES BACK THAT TOLYA WAS CRUSHING ON INEJ AND NOW IM SCARED AGAIN

ISNT HE ARO IM PRETTY SURE HES ARO

It’s giving pirates of the Caribbean theme song

YES INEJ IS HUNTING SLAVERS

BUT MAL IN NIKOLAIS COAT IS DODGY

NO MATTHIAS HAS TO FIGHT WOLVES

PEKKA ROLLINS GO KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW

MINOR SLAY FROM MATTHIAS?!

OOOOO NINAS PIIIISSED

Oh shit Nina the letter!!

HES BUYING OUT INDENTURES FOR INEJ

AND THAT GIRL KESH FROM THE FIRST EPISODE

Aaaaaa slay Nikolai

Nooooo Nikolai

HE LOOKS LIKE THAT FANART THE OUTFIT DOES WITH THE BREECHES

AHHHH HES TURNED INTO A DEMON

SLAY ALINA HONESTLY THAT CROWN IS A GOOD LOOK

NOT UNLESS YOUR THINKING OF ME INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FORGET HIM

AHHH NIKOLAI AND ZOYA IN THE SAME ROOM AGAIN

Zoya and genya are also looking gorgeous

YES ZOYA YOU COULD INDEED FIX HIM

Omg so is the triumvirate gonna be zoya genya and Alina rather than David?!

But I look amazing in blue YES YOU DO

OMG ZOYA CALLED THEM A TRIUMVIRATE (which is also not how I thought it was pronounced like at all)

AN OPPORTUNITY HAS PRESENTED ITSELF METHINKS ITS THE ICE COURT

WHICH MEANS THEY HAVE TO GET INEJ BACK NO?!

Ayyyy nikolais officially king

Are divorces a thing? If Nikolai and Alina get married then they just get divorced and Nikolai can end up with zoya right??

JURDA PAREM

SHES GONNA TRY KILL NIKOLAI

Oh god turn nikolais coronation into a bloodbath why don’t you

Slay Alina

[booker-le-livre]

I posted 795 times in 2022

25 posts created (3%)

770 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@papirouge

@notyoursunnygirlfriend

@smol-catholic-bean

@greater-than-the-sword

@pro-birth

I tagged 424 of my posts in 2022

Only 47% of my posts had no tags

#pro life - 97 posts

#shadow and bone - 79 posts

#six of crows - 77 posts

#wylan van eck - 53 posts

#christianity - 26 posts

#911 lone star - 24 posts

#jesper fahey - 24 posts

#kaz brekker - 23 posts

#matthias helvar - 17 posts

#eurovision - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#if you’re worried about being accused of r@pe then bring a sober female friend or something as ‘witness’ that you didn’t do anything bad

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know, sometimes I straight up forget that TK is Owen’s son because of how little this man seems to care for his own child. TK was literally dying in the hospital and Owen really went “how can I make this situation entirely about me?” and then left.

80 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#4

So no Måns?

99 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

If I had a nickel for every time a guy in a TV-show named Alexander was about to jump from a balcony because he was being mind controlled/manipulated by an external force and it had something to do with someone’s dead mother, only for his supernatural boyfriend to save him at the last second, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

103 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

#2

imagine thinking being "pro life" is a matter of a different opinion and not an ideology of violence inflicted upon women LOL. if you wanna cry misogyny then maybe open your eyes and understand that women can be misogynists

Imagine thinking that pregnancy, the most natural thing a human woman can do, is “violence”. Taking responsibility for your actions (that is having sex), isn’t “violence”. Pregnancy is the natural result of sex and if you’re not mature enough to take responsibility for that result then you shouldn’t be having sex at all. A baby shouldn’t have to lose their life for someone else’s convenience.

And I never claimed that women couldn’t be misogynistic, but most of the people were crying for “women’s rights” while at the same time cheering this dude on as he kicked a woman to the ground for no reason. And if you think that someone deserves to be violently attacked for voicing their opinion/ideology then there is something sincerely wrong with you. Going by that logic I assume you’re totally fine with people drop kicking someone publicly advocating for abortion?

126 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yennefer had more chemistry with Jaskier, Cahir, and dare I say it, Istredd, in like one episode than she’s ever had with Geralt throughout the entire series so far.

243 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[evandore]

.

anyway under the cut cause i finished section 1 of my catalogue and since like a solid 80% of my characters are women (10% are men who will one day become women and the last 10% are men) i was wondering how many men got on the main character list so here they are ^_^

the man: i mean it says it in the name. also ophelia beheaded him and reduced his title to insignificance LOL

the lover: slightly better then his brother but ophelia did stab him in the heart (is also the father of her child so theres conflicting actions here)

thomas knight: dead serious can NOT be a woman bc he does not want to deal with all of graces and ediths lesbian homoerotics. also bc he stands to hammer in the theme of misogyny in the story

matthias o'reilly: twink

jack alverez: too busy fighting demons (bisexuality) but during like current era when hes like 40 he would change his insta bio to he/they without telling anyone so

nathan thomson: estrogen and a therapist who cared could have fixed her. also if he didnt murder like all those people in the cabin like ten years ago

wow ! six guys is more then i expected. comparably theres 16 female main characters lol and from this list only matthias and nathan are really Main Characters and even then they still mostly exist in regards to women ie karina and amber respectively.

and these are just from the first section of my catalogue ! theres three more to get through lol but actually out of all of them the only character i can confidently say is a man and the Main Character would be alexi which is kind of crazy...hashtag lesbianism for the win fr...

[hahahax30]

I-

CK

Why did I find out about Dahlia and Matthias dying this way 😭😭😭

Oops

:)

No, but honestly, I kinda can’t wait to write their deaths.

Matthias’s is going to take place in the Everitts’s house in Aboveground London. Simone has been wanting to form a symbiosis with him since the 1990s (because he’s a superb historian and the historian she currently has has been fighting back for A While), so seeing as she is disguised as Min Hao (because at the end of the stolen child the ‘Min’ they saved was actually Simone disguised as the real one —not that anyone knows that) and seeing as Matthias and Dahlia adore Min, she decides she’s going to trick Matthias into going to Aboveground London with her, alone. This happens once Matthias and Dahlia remember their pasts and so on.

Anyways, Min’s plan was to corner Matthias and force a symbiotic relationship. She thought they were alone so it’d be easy, but Cal’s going to come home probably from a date with Hunter or something, and she’s going to stumble upon the very moment ‘Min’ becomes Simone and Matthias is like :0 and too shocked to do anything about it. Cal is going to try to protect her father. But she’s too late. Simone establishes the symbiosis and the last thing Matthias tells Cal is ‘kill me’ because he knows there’s no going back. So? Cal? Kills him? That’s going to traumatise her, but oh well. Simone’s going to manage to disappear, so by the time Hunter arrives to the Everitts’s place, he’s going to find a blood-soaked Cal cradling her father’s corpse and the first thing that Hunter’s going to hear from her is “Simone was Min all along” or something like that. And cue the end of a book (idk which one because in my heart of hearts I’m planning to end book 3 with the death of the oldest Khosravi sisters and book 4 with Dahlia and Matthias regaining their memories, so the latter’s death would be the end of book 5 but I also want to write an Agnes-centred spin-off book and idk whether I should write it in between any of the books I’ve mentioned 💀).

As for Dahlia’s death, it’s going to happen soon after Matthias’s. Somehow —don’t ask me how— she, Lei, Cal, Hunter and some of Cal and Hunter’s friends are going to end up in the hands of the Curia Regis. The Curia Regis is pretty much in shambles because Laelia’s probably going to be dead and their headquarters are in ruins and stuff. At this point, it’s going to be revealed that Oliver’s parents (read: mother) are members of the cult, and Oliver’s mother, who has a very wicked sense of humour, decides that they’re going to be publicly executed and that, seeing as Dahlia loves to wear the clothes French nobility wore before the revolution, they should thus be guillotined. Dahlia is going to ask if she can be killed first, because she has a plan. Right before the blade descends down her throat, she’s going to mass-mask everyone. She’s going to make everyone see how she, Lei, Cal, Hunter, etc. are escaping, which will help getting them to safety because the Curia Regis thinks they’re escaping in the opposite direction of where they’re actually escaping, if that makes sense. Anyways, Dahlia is going to safe the day, but at the end of the day her head is still going to get cut off lol. That chapter’s name will be swan song because, duh. I debated naming it demiurge song but decided against it, since I’m planning for Hunter to exercise an equally-impressive feat, but he’s not going to die!

Sorry for the spam

[aestophobia]

SoC Incorrect Quotes

Kaz: Time for plan G.

Inej: Don’t you mean plan B?

Kaz: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Jesper: What about plan D?

Kaz: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Matthias: What about plan E?

Kaz: I’m hoping not to use it. Kuwei dies in plan E.

Wylan: I like plan E.

******

Kaz: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Inej: >:O language

Wylan: Yeah watch your fucking language

Jesper: OKAY WHO TAUGHT WYLAN THE FUCK WORD?

Nina: 'The fuck word'.

Matthias: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Jesper: Oh my god he censored it

Nina: Say fuck, Matthias.

Jesper: Do it, Matthias. Say fuck.

******

Inej: We need to distract these guys

Kaz: Leave it to me

Kaz: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Jesper, Wylan, and Nina: *Immediately begin arguing*

Matthias, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

******

'Can I copy the homework?'

Inej: I can help you with it!

Matthias: Yeah, sure.

Jesper: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Nina: lol nope.

Wylan: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Kaz: *Read 5:55pm*

******

Inej: Croissants: dropped

Wylan: Road: works ahead

Nina: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Jesper: Shavacado: fre

Kaz: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Matthias: Matthias, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

******

Jesper: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Nina: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Jesper: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Inej: Actually I did the math, Nina would have $225, not $0.15.

Nina: Fam I’m right here....

Wylan: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Jesper: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Wylan: Sorry I only have a dollar

Jesper: :(

Inej: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Nina would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Wylan: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Matthias: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Nina: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Inej: Apply juice to what

Kaz: Directly to the forehead

Inej: Great chat everyone

******

Inej: Just be yourself.

Jesper: 'Be myself'? Inej, I have one day to win Wylan over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Nina: Couple weeks.

Matthias: Six months.

Kaz: Jury’s still out.

Jesper: See, Inej? Jesper: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

******

Kaz: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Inej: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Jesper: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Inej, learn to listen.

Wylan: What if it bites itself and I die?

Nina: That’s voodoo.

Matthias: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Inej: That’s correlation, not causation.

Wylan: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Nina: That’s kinky.

Matthias: Oh my God.

******

Kaz: I CAN'T DO IT!

Inej, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Kaz: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Jesper: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Kaz:

Kaz: I appreciate it,

Kaz: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Wylan: Kaz-

Kaz: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Nina: Kaz we gotta-

Kaz: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Kaz: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Kaz, motioning to Matthias: NOT FUCKING THIS

******

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Kaz: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Inej: ...I did. I broke it.

Kaz: No. No you didn't. Jesper?

Jesper: Don't look at me. Look at Wylan.

Wylan: What?! I didn't break it.

Jesper: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Wylan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Jesper: Suspicious.

Wylan: No, it's not!

Matthias: If it matters, probably not, but Nina was the last one to use it.

Nina: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Matthias: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Nina: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Matthias!

Inej: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Kaz.

Kaz: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Wylan: Kaz... Kuwei’s been awfully quiet.

Kuwei: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Kaz, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Kaz: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Kaz:

Kaz: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[readbyred]

Requests: open

fandoms I currently want to write for are in bold, those I particularly want to write rn are in colour

my fandoms:

The owl house

Tangled the series

Moomins

Starkid

IT

Stranger Things

Heroes of Olympus

Dead poets society

Camp Camp (wood scouts only!)

My babysitter’s a vampire

Amphibia

Miss Peregrine’s home for peculiar children (BOOKS)

Fear street

Dear Evan Hansen

Obey me!

Wednesday

The Legend of Vox Machina

HTTYD (+ RTTE)

[IN PROGRESS] Dragons: nine realms

Total Drama-verse

Grishaverse

this blog is

now STRICTLY A HEADCANONS BLOG

inclusive of all readers

okay with writing heavier topics; just to make things clear - if you (for example) will ask me to write a reader with depression you’ll get my best genuine depiction of a reader with depression - my goal is to make all readers feel loved bc they deserve to, not to glamourize things that should not be romanticized

open to mentioning topics such as (but not limited to): physical abuse, non-physical abuse, mental disorders, violence, gore, death, dealing with trauma, disability

NOT OKAY WITH PROVIDING SEXUAL CONTENT

more than okay with writing platonic and familial relationships

cool with yandere requests (characters I can write as yanderes are listed below in italics)

characters I write for:

TOH

luz, amity, eda (preferably platonic/parental), lilith (platonic/parental only), raine (preferably platonic/parental), darius, kikimora, willow, gus, edric, emira, mattholomule, bria, gavin, boscha, hunter, vee

TTS

rapunzel, eugene, cassandra, varian, every other character that appeared in the series (except for the King, I just don't like him)

MOOMINS/MOOMINVALLEY

moomin, sniff, snorkmaiden, snufkin

SK

hhh just ask but I write for like, almost everyone

IT

the teen losers club, platonic eddie corcoran (book-based), teen Henry bowers, can try doing the g00ns but this will be fanon based

ST

lucas, max, eleven, mike, dustin, will, steve, robin

HOO/PJO

octavian, reyna, percy, piper, annabeth, leo, calypso, rachel, nico, jason, frank, hazel, alabaster

DPS

chris, charlie, knox, todd, neil, cameron

CC

woodscous lol preferably pikeman bc idc about the series anymore, he was cool though

MBAV

ethan, rory, erica, sarah, benny’s on thin f*cking ice /hj, jesse

AMPHIBIA

sasha, marcy, anne

MPHFPC

horace, emma, enoch, jacob, bronwyn, hugh, fiona, millard; the rest of the main group is good too as long as it's not romantic

FS

Deena, Sam, Kate, Simon, Josh, Ryan, young Ziggy, Cindy, Alice, young Nick

DEH

jared

R&M

morty, jessica, beth, jerry, summer

OM!

levi, solomon, asmo, (platonic) luke; edit: now the brothers, diavolo and simeon too

WEDNESDAY

enid, tyler, bianca, eugene, ajax, i can try writing wednesday or xavier

TLOVM

main squad

HTTYD/RTTE

astrid, hiccup, snotlout, tuffnut, ruffnut, fishlegs, heather, gustav, dagur

[LOADING…] D9R

still unsure who I will write for; d’angelo and buzzsaw are for certain, we’ll see about the rest

TOTAL DRAMA

old gen: scott, cody, heather, lindsay, sierra, katie, sadie, courtney, ezekiel (before the monster mess), harold, gwen

new gen: emma, millie, zee, wayne, raj, julia, nichelle, axel, damien, ripper, priya. maybe scary girl if you ask nicely /hj edit: chase grew on me, I’ll write for him 2

Grishaverse

alina, mal, aleksander, ivan, tamar, genya, some queerplatonic yuri if anyone wants that and it's not just me

inej, nina, matthias, kaz, wylan, jesper

in progress: nikolai, zoya, kuwei, leoni