#maybe I'm really exaggerating it..

[abgemeldet]

'sometimes being roughly is a good thing.'

(maybe it's really not that dramatic what I think to be, I've uploaded it now...bye. love you 👋❤)

[lactoseintolerentswag]

when they've got interpreting spiderman noir under a specific cultural lens at the function [picture of me going insane]

I cant help myself.. what can i say. And since you've mentioned some research going on behind the scenes.. do you have any fun interpretations? Or even anything fun about the 1800s!

OH HI

Hm. I don't have anything as fun as historical dancing, but I suppose this does give me the excuse (thabk u) to blab about Noir's childishness.

(wow putting this under the cut bc it got longer than I thought it would LMAO)

I think what a lot of people (including Noir's contemporary writers and yes even the spiderverse interpretation) fall for when trying to read Noir's character is the imitation of his idea of what an adult is, that he hides behind. Like Noir's persona is incredibly exaggerated. He's playing pretend. Look here, he's practicing.

A lot of his persona as Noir is imitation! Imitation of his uncle, of Urich, of the violence he's been exposed to. He's running around in his uncle's old uniform. Fundamentally misunderstanding WHY his uncle had been ashamed of it and his role in the war.

And then he goes ahead and steals Urich's alias because it sounds Cool (which is such a teenage thing to do jesus christ).

But like that imitation of The Adult isn't something that's limited to that exaggerated persona that Noir encapsulates. Peter himself is trying So Hard to be grown up and tough and responsible that it loops back around to him being a brat who would try the three guys in a trench coat trick. He even gets beat up for it when trying to defend his aunt. And I mean I've posted about him being a brat.

About how he looks at Urich as a Prime Example of what a strong and knowledgeable adult is (which is part of why he reacts so volatile in response to Urich showing he's not exactly as morally righteous as himself, he's wounded and let down). Whiskey? Whiskey sounds like someone Mature and Cool would drink, I'll have it too. And then proceeds to throw his drink at Osborn and laugh about it. The illusion was broken for me then.

But well it's not broken for everyone. I mean like obviously I poked at the contemporary writers, but I'm more talking about the other characters in the narrative. Mainly Urich and Felicia.

Urich taking Peter under his wing isn't entirely under the motivation to nurture Peter. I think it Becomes that, but he's really envious of that kid. He wants to see him lose that hope that he once had (ruh roh the opposite thing happened, being around the kid made YOU more hopeful Ben. Guess you gotta be good. Hope you don't die now).

Urich really is exposing him to an extremely harsh reality, and taking him places where adults are typically only allowed. He's letting Peter get a glimpse into what it's like, which will eventually enable Noir's tool of violence. All these tests will accumulate into what Peter thinks someone powerful and strong can be and do.

Then his problematic relationship with Felicia (writers I'm malleting you for this). He's clinging to her adulthood and the safety she represents, and he's young but she sees some adult strength in him. I mean she trusts him with the blackmail Urich gave her, which she really. Shouldn't, even if that's what Urich wanted.

Anyway, strength is something she's been consistently drawn to her in her partners. Strength to feel as her own. Even if it's to hers and others' detriment. There's also a part of Peter that's drawn to Felicia because Urich was. He's still honing in the good parts of Urich he wants to be.

I think the one person in the narrative who doesn't fall for it? Is Aunt May. You could argue it's just her being naturally motherly, but for someone who was about to be eaten alive she's pretty frank with Noir. I think she can see that that violence and exaggerated grittiness comes from someone inexperienced and young. Even if she can't consciously recognize the similarities between Noir's persona and Peter's protectiveness of her. I don't think she wants to see that. I actually have a short comic script about that, but it probably will never see the light of day.

Ugh he's like a cat puffing up to scare away a predator. It's fake!!!!! It's all fake!!!!!! He gets intimidated by JJ, he never ties his shoes, gets powers and then immediately guns to beat the shit out of Osborn, sings about the sandman when he's getting his face bashed in, crawls to Felicia all pathetic and sad, and he made a costume to run over roofs at night in.

And it's funny how he's forcing himself to grow up, but also really sad because all the things he's being exposed to is already forcing him to grow up. He's witnessing things no kid should ever see or experience.

Then there's the time period to consider. The aftermath of WWI, being in the midst of the Great Depression, and WWII just around the corner. He's faced incredible hardship and is going to continue to face so much hardship, and he's going to mature faster than he ever should have. It should have made him crash and burn Hard when he became an adult, and to me he still does because I'm ignoring everyone after ewaof LMAO.

As for my research on the 1800s NY that's for my own spider iteration run I'm working on, so not too related to Noir until I reach the 30's :3

Hope that was satisfying!!

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

[archersgoon]

wowwwww more work being done in the building common areas with zero fucking notification from my landlord? everybody pretend to be surprised!

[skyriderwednesday]

I wonder if any performance of SIX has ever gotten the laugh at "Yeah, it's wunderbar" or if that was always a weirdly outdated reference for a song written in ~2016/17.

(If anyone's wondering, it's intended as a Wonderbra joke)

[meownotgood]

Hello wonderful mags, just thought I’d put you on Legends of Runeterra. it’s a sick mobile card game Riot made in the same universe & you can unlock & play as MH!Viktor. It takes some time but it’s honestly really fun and I love his voicelines.. <3

I’ve been playing for the past month and I may be a lil addicted. just thought you should know of its existence. Love your work :-]

anon if you knew the number of times I've been here... listening to his voice lines........ legends of runeterra is a BLESSING for us machine herald fans, we must hold onto it with all our might!!!!

[odogarons]

ranting about the da fandom stuff from yesterday a little bit

The game isn't even going to be out for another month and already I'm so exhausted, like honestly exhausted by the fandom. Let me say that if you saw the news yesterday and are disappointed that's fine, if you canceled your preorder that's also fine (I don't think you should preorder AAA games anyway but its not money so)

However I do think there comes a point when it gets to be too much. I know I've seen people like "let us be disappointed, toxic positivity is bad, let us feel this" and yeah okay you're right about all of that but when you're sitting around in discords circlejerking with six other people about how this "means not a single dev on the team actually cares about the franchise" and how this is the "end of the series as a whole" and "how dare the devs make this decision its going to tank the game and prove the bigots right" I think its fair to tell you to go the fuck outside and touch grass.

As bad as toxic positivity is, there has to be an opposite side to that, the sitting and wallowing and steeping in dramatic over exaggerated negativity also can't be good for you! There's a huge difference between being disappointed and cancelling your preorder and then running around social media yelling, screaming, throwing up like this is the worst thing that's happened in the history of gaming. Especially since that tends to rile people up and then they go to harass the dev team which isn't warranted.

I don't know I don't want to invalidate anyone feeling disappointed but I'm so exhausted by people in general constantly jumping to the worst and most bad faith take they can think of and then reacting based off that take. Maybe its not that the devs don't care but more like there are three games worth of player choices they have to account for and that's a lot of choices and variations that might be getting too unwieldy to account for every single one at this point. Maybe they're saving some ideas for the next game, we don't and probably won't know until a much later date.

Maybe I should be used to the over reactions after being in fandoms in general for so long but man if this doesn't just leave me exhausted to my very core

[datapilled]

I won't lie - ever since I became physically ill/disabled, I've become more worried about people trying to tell me that I'm lying about my own conditions and experiences. It doesn't help that people have told me that they think I'm exaggerating for attention to my face (and behind my back) even before the physical disability was diagnosed. People want disabilities to be simple and straightforward, and want to always view doctors and nurses as angels.

[mx-melancholic]

Getting simple novelties in your country really makes you realize just how america centered everything is usually because there are now youtube tutorials on how to pick up packages from a specialized locker or how to put money on your account via atm, or how to use self-checkout, but if I ever wanna make something without having hobby lobby around I'm fucked

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Not going to lie, I've been unsure how to feel about a lot of things writing, but I just made myself cry writing a character death that I've had planned since I plotted this novel out and that is reassuring to me for some reason.

[magicalgirl6]

remember the april fool's day of smile precure. that was good I liked that. yayoi’s a disaster. anyway poisson d'avril or whatever hi

[supercantaloupe]

the grades for our library technologies research papers were finally released and i got 100%. genuinely is library science just easy, am i way better at this than i think, or are my professors the most lenient graders in the university

[moe-broey]

Also lowkey airing out like. I don't even know if I can do Sharena Week this year. Like. I'd like to. And I know I probably don't have to commit to it as hard as I did last year lmfao (tried my damnest to do every day, still fell short on bigger concepts here and there).

But like. Behind the scenes, I can't remember if I talked much about it. But emotionally, it did take so much. I had to tap into something so specific. I think it was a good thing and absolutely helped me develop concepts/as an artist in general (esppp that big comic of her 40 convo feat Moe). Like really really good experience overall. But man when I say it took a lot of out me. Cut to me sobbing mess style trying to articulate this w loved ones and my brain immediately overwriting/erasing information in real time as soon as I say A Thought out loud (gone.) LMFAOOO

Haven't fully been keeping tabs on the dates this year so far as I do feel an air of predetermined defeat, but if it's June, well. I am, with great regret, scheduled to die by then. <- fully being dramatic but I am going to be suffering greatly and will likely be generally busy NOT having fun. 😤

Maybe it's all up in the air but rn I'm having a sulker moment. Everyone please be appropriately somber about my upcoming demise. Everyone borrow grief from the future to add directly to my grief points. Everyone. Please love Sharena with all of your hearts. This is my final message. Goodbye 🫡

[youkah]

anyway my embarrassing storytime of how I genuinely think discovering frimomen changed the trajectory of my life is. crazy. because it's less to do with frimomen it's moreso that he was one of the puzzle pieces that made things click. tw below for mentions of emotional abuse ig but not really indepth

not going into too much detail because idk if people here are still friends/mutuals with my most recent ex if you remember who he was (which is fine. I don't care if you are all I care about is never contacting him again), but he was emotionally abusive through the whole time I knew him, and it really started ramping up in the last 12 months of being together. we were together for technically over three years, I say technically because we broke up for about a year but it was a weird situationship where he was manipulating me into not moving on even though he said he didn't like me that way. it was a weird scene.

anyway it started getting SUPER bad at the beginning of last year tho it had always been bad ngl. I think since I was just more stressed with other life stuff going on I started to not be able to take it. but anyway I had been for a while trying really really hard to "escape" into a better/"ideal" version of our relationships through my ocs and I think it just wasn't working well; this is something I've done my whole life that's helped keep me in touch with my emotions bc I have a weird way of processing stuff that happens to me. for another bit of context, I have... mental health issues (bipolar) and I have some very odd signs of when I enter mania, and one of them is when I genuinely start kinning fictional characters I'm not kidding.

well apparently through the release of frimomen and my eventual obsession with him I discovered that yumeshipping is like the same warning sign but that I'm in a bad relationship which is REALLY funny. and I didn't really make that connection until my last trip to see him last year that lasted a month and I found myself thinking more and more about yumeing and I was like. okay no this is NOT normal for me. for context this was my first bad relationship I'm damn lucky it wasn't until I was an adult, so it was much harder for me to put together the red flags. but I'm someone who is personally very uncomfortable with inserting direct representations of myself into something as a fulfillment thing and so I realized that if I did that with fictional characters it means something is very wrong and I need to step back.

so yeah funnily enough along with frimomen sparking back my creativity/desire to work with music again, he helped me realize that I was in a very dangerous position, especially since I was supposed to have been moving internationally with my ex by the end of last year because he had convinced me my family was evil pretty much. he's definitely not the sole thing that made me realize, because there were a LOT of pieces that made me realize, he's actually much smaller in the grand scheme of things but the timing + the fact that he's my fave vocal synth of all time I think makes it funnier to say it like he made me realize I was in danger.

I've been um. debating on whether or not I should tell this story because it feels ridiculous and also I don't want to dump #trauma on people, plus again I don't want anyone in contact with him to see this and tell him that I consider him to have been abusive (though he's good at respecting requests to stay out of contact so I'm not worried about me. as much as I hate him I'm worried about his own mental health regarding it lol I hope he gets better I just don't ever want to be in the picture again), but since it's been long enough and I don't spiral at the mere site of my ex's name/username/art/etc anymore I thought it'd be a funny story to tell. the trajectory of life thing has way less to do with escaping abuse and moreso to do with the fact that because I got back into making vsynth content due to frimomen, I've connected with some wonderful people that I'm glad to have met

I'm... fine now. I have too much shit going on with disability/employment to really be caught up in it anymore. I still have my bad moments but at the end of the day I'm surrounded by a really good support system who ik was frustrated that I ignored their warnings about how they didn't like how he treated me, yet still stuck with me and supports me to this day. I feel very loved and lucky to have the friends and family in my life that I do <3

[boilingheart]

my therapist gifted me a book about adhd to read and man. trying to read a book about adhd with adhd is proving to be a... colorful challenge.

i'm trying to replace doomscrolling with reading, yet i keep finding myself back on tumblr or twitter. oops.

[pandaemoanium]

shoutout to my partner and certified goodest boy @woodrider who i love so so very much, he's helped me grow immensely as a person and i really don't think i would've gotten this far if it wasn't for him and all the support he's given me 🥺💕