#maybe gonna go through my posts and delete the ones I don’t want here because I just don’t know what I want ugh.

[hauntedreputation]

kinda want a new blog... but like... I still want it to be this one... just new...

[waitingonher]

dating percy jackson

pairing: percy jackson x gn! reader

content warning: kissing & couple-ly things

word count: 2,144

author's note: first post on this account!! if any of this sounds familiar, it's cuz i used to have an account but i deleted it cuz i wanted to redo it or smth…LOL 😭😭 but requests are open and i'll be coming out with more original work. enjoy!!

dating percy jackson would be like dating your best friend who you kiss and cuddle with occasionally.

percy’s not a very high maintenance kind of guy, so dating him would be more chill and relaxed. despite this, he’s still so, so incredibly sweet and cares about you so much.

even if he’s very oblivious sometimes…he’s still a sweetheart! 

he’ll do absolutely everything in his power to ensure that you’re safe and alright.

going on quests with him can lowkey get annoying sometimes because he’s always trying to protect you. 

but don’t get me wrong, he knows for a fact that you can definitely handle yourself, but he’s been through so much and the last thing he wants is you becoming injured or worse!! 

his protectiveness comes from a very genuine place, and you know that, but you sometimes like to tease him about it. 

your boyfriend suspiciously eyes the cave you’re supposed to inspect for your current quest, “y/n…” he pauses, turning to look at you, “are you 100 percent sure you’re gonna be okay all alone in there? i don’t like how quiet everything is.” 

you quirk an eyebrow at him, “percy, you’ve asked me this so many times that now i’m starting to think you’re doubting me and my abilities.” 

his eyes widen as he gives you a look of panic, “wait y/n no, i swear i didn’t mean it like that, i was just-” 

you put your arms around his neck, “babe, i’m teasing. i know you wouldn’t do that,” you say, chuckling at his reaction. 

percy rolls his eyes at you and places his hands on your waist, pulling you in for a kiss, “you’re the worst.” 

“i know,” you respond, laughing at your boyfriend. 

if you’re going on a quest without him though…expect him to be 100x more worried about you.

part of him wants to sneak out of camp to join you, but he knows that you’re more than capable of handling a quest without him.

all he can do is just make sure you’re prepared.

nothing, and i mean nothing will be forgotten as long as you have percy.

the night before you leave, he’ll ask you to sneak over to his cabin so he could spend as much time with you as possible.

percy claims it’ll be “a night full of relaxation before your big quest,” but with the way he’s bombarding you with questions regarding your preparedness, you don’t think you’re going to be in for a very relaxing night.

after taking a sip of your tea, you peer over at your boyfriend who opens his mouth to say something, “okay-” 

“love, if you’re going to ask me if i have everything, then the answer is yes,” you utter, leaning in to fix the crooked sheet mask on his face. 

percy chuckles, “how’d you know that’s what i was gonna say?”

“maybe it’s because you’ve been asking me that ever since i got here.” 

he smiles sheepishly, “oh…right.” 

and when you leave in the morning he’s asking you again if you have everything?? as if your supplies somehow vanished as you guys slept the previous night…

iris messages are also a HUGE thing between you guys. 

whether the two of you are away at school, or on a quest without each other, iris messages would be made at every single opportunity. 

cabin sleepovers are a regular for you and percy!

you guys try to have them every couple of weeks and it’s actually a mystery as to how you haven’t been caught yet.

you’ve definitely curated many funny stories of how you’d almost been discovered by a harpy.

percy prefers that you come over to his cabin instead of him going to yours.

this may or may not be due to that one incredibly embarrassing moment where a few of your siblings caught you guys kissing in your cabin’s bathroom… (you and percy were teased for a solid week after that incident) 

it’s safe to say that your boyfriend’s cabin has been the location of all your sleepovers since then. 

you and percy DEFINITELY come up with a really intricate handshake.

it’s the type of handshake that takes more than thirty seconds to complete and consumed most of your free time while you two were memorizing it.

“percy, i love you, but i swear to the gods, if you mess this up again…” 

“um…sorry y/n, but does my leg move this way or that way?” 

but once you and him had the routine down, your friends and other couples around camp were SO annoyed with you guys! 

looking back on it, you two lowkey feel bad for making them watch you guys perform your handshake for minutes on end. 

but what can you say? it’s just too good to not show off.  

you glance up from your interlocked hands with percy and turn your head to face your friends, “okay, are you guys sure you’re looking?” 

annabeth nods tiredly, “yes y/n…we’ve all been watching for the past ten minutes.”

“guys, i swear this is the last time we’ll do it and then you guys can go to bed,” percy announces to the group. 

your friends all collectively let out a groan at the thought of sitting through yet another round of your guys’ handshake. 

you overhear percy talking to one of his friends at the campfire, “okay sure, she might’ve written a song dedicated to you, but did you two create a thirty second long handshake that took literal weeks to memorize? that’s right. i didn’t think so dude.” 

dates are kinda limited at camp, but you guys make do with what you have! 

beach/lake dates are a total must for you and him. 

if you’re not completely confident in your swimming skills, then he’ll take it as an opportunity to teach you!

but if you are a competent swimmer, expect tons and tons of competitions.

whether it be races across the lake or seeing who can hold their breath the longest, you guys have done it all. 

percy then has the audacity to be surprised when he wins every single time…as if he isn’t a son of poseidon?? 

one of your favorite dates of all time was when you and percy went strawberry picking! after picking them, you two attempted to make your own homemade strawberry jam. and to your amazement, it actually turned out okay?? :O

all your friends were pleasantly surprised to hear that no one had burned the kitchen down. 

he also loves to participate in any activities or hobbies that you’re into.

on his own time, percy would try to research or ask your siblings/friends about your hobbies! (he doesn’t want you to find out though) 

he wants to learn more because he genuinely finds them interesting and wants to understand all the terms and definitions of the things you talk about.

but the biggest reason why percy does it, is so he can see your reaction when you talk to him about the subject and he actually responds with an educated answer on the matter instead of his usual head nods! the way your eyes widen and your lips pull back to display the beautiful grin that he’s grown to love so dearly!! it’s like he’s fallen in love all over again. 

once he sees the way you’re smiling at him, he thinks that he wouldn’t mind spending a few more hours in the library. 

percy loves that you show genuine enthusiasm when it comes to his passions and hobbies, so it’s a given that he wants to make you feel the same way. 

if he could, percy could honestly spend all day listening to you talk about your passions. it’s just something in the way your eyes light up that has him utterly hooked.

percy looks at you with such adoration that sometimes you think he’s bored of your rambling.

“ugh, i just love it when-” you gaze down at your boyfriend who has his head resting on your lap. you notice that he’s staring at you, “oh sorry percy, i didn’t mean to bore you.” 

he shoots up out of your lap and looks at you, absolutely dumbfounded, “bored?”

you nod.

“babe, how could i ever be bored of you?” your boyfriend questions with such certainty, as if it were a genuine mystery he wants to know the answer to. 

you give him a shy smile, “i dunno, it’s just you weren’t responding so i thought you got tired of me talking.“

percy smiles sheepishly, “sorry, i just didn’t wanna interrupt you, you looked so happy. and trust me, y/n, i’d listen to you talk all day long if i could.”

you chuckle at his reassurance and lean in for a chaste kiss, “okay weirdo.” 

you guys are that one couple who literally can communicate solely through eye contact. 

someone’s acting stupid in public? you look at percy and he looks at you. next thing you know, the both of you are stifling your laughter. 

on a quest and something feels off? one swift glance at each other and you immediately know what your next plan of action is. 

sometimes it does get annoying though. because now you’re in the middle of a serious camp meeting, tearing up while attempting to hold in the loud cackle you’re both about to let out. 

all because you looked at each other at the wrong moment.

#telapathicconnection

percy also loves it when you wear his clothes!

especially when it’s a jacket or hoodie of his. it’s more personal to percy because it’s not just any other camp half-blood shirt that everyone has. 

he just feels so prideful knowing that it’s you walking around in his clothes. he just goes wild at the sight of you in them. to him, it’s a very effective way of telling everyone that you guys are dating. percy wants the world to know that you’re his and his only! 

one thing about percy is that no matter what, he’ll always make time for you.

oh you’re not feeling well? he’s dropping whatever he’s doing to go see you. you need someone to talk to? he won’t leave you feeling upset, so he’ll create an excuse to leave the sparring arena. 

you obviously do the same for your boyfriend, but you think it’s endearing how he’s so dedicated to you and will do absolutely anything to be there for you. 

when it comes to pda, he doesn’t really mind. his favorite form of pda is hand holding! whether you’re holding hands, linking pinkies, or linking arms, he just loves to show you off while walking about the camp grounds. in general, he just prefers to be touching you in some sort of way. 

at the campfire, he likes to have your hand in his lap so he can play with your fingers. (or your rings/bracelets if you do wear them!)

when you’re in bed, he likes to wrap his arm around your waist. but if you’re not big on cuddling, percy makes sure that his leg is touching your leg, or that he’s at least holding your hand. the list goes on but it’s just his way of telling you that he’s there, by your side!! 

you guys also most definitely have a polaroid camera. one christmas, you gifted him a dark blue polaroid and ever since then, it’s just been nonstop photos of one another. because of the fact that phones aren’t allowed, this is the next best thing to capture memories.

percy can’t even name how many photos he has of you in his nightstand, there’s a lot. so many to the point that he uses an old shoe box of his to hold them all.

but his absolute favorite photo (he keeps this one in his wallet) is a photo of you two sitting on the edge of the pier at the canoe lake. it was taken just after training, sweat drips down both of your temples, and your guys’ cheeks are flushed red. percy is holding the camera with his right hand while he has his left hand wrapped around your shoulders, both of you leaning into each other. and the sun is setting, shades of purples and oranges swirling together to create a gorgeous backdrop for the photo. you two are both smiling, eyes scrunched tightly (partially due to the sun) and teeth wide on display.

he just thoroughly adores your smile.

percy thinks you’re the prettiest person he’s ever seen. especially when you smile like that. and to think that’s how happy he makes you?? he could die happily with no regrets.

all in all, percy jackson is such an amazing boyfriend who loves you with all of his being. 10/10 would definitely date again!! 

[abbyshands]

Hi kit, do you know how to tell if a person sending asks saying they need donations for their family in gaza, is fake?

Cuz someone sent me an ask and I’ve reblogged it but I was going through the comments and there a several blocked and one of them says that the op is scamming people.

I know there are ppl like this that are that horrible, but I wonder if you know how tell them apart ? Or if anyone knows for that matter. Cuz I don’t want to mislead people and give them the wrong information or anything.

hi, honey! this is gonna be all over the place but. i've had this very thing happen to me before as well, maybe three or so asks just like the one you received. i did fall for the first one, but once you see them over and over again, i think it can get easier to tell when it's a scam. one thing to note is when the actual account began to post. i notice a lot of these accounts began to post in recent days or weeks. at the time that i donated to the first person who sent me an ask like this, it was february, and they began to post around mid january. the next tell is one i see a lot, where they'll reblog a bunch of things about palestine, but they will all be in a matter of hours, days, etc. usually never weeks (and also, you'll see that they randomly begin to reblog in very recent days. ex. all their reblogs are from three days ago and onward). one more thing: look at their posts (not their reblogs. their actual posts), and check if it says "some replies may have been blocked, deleted, removed, etc). absolutely, 100% not a good sign. chances are, replies are being removed by the op because they're getting called out for scamming.

the structure of the actual ask is also a dead giveaway. if it ends in "my goal is x amount of money," usually somewhere in the hundreds or thousands, not a good sign. if they are asking you to respond to their ask PRIVATELY, not a good sign. if you copy part of their ask and paste it into tumblr or do an internet search, and you see it elsewhere, not a good sign! these blogs will go around copying the same message into people's inboxes. chances are, someone else on tumblr has posted about the very person who sent you the ask, OR, you will find it somewhere else on the internet, etc a gofundme (which, by the way, is where most of these scammers obtain their story or pictures. they'll find it in gofundmes as i said, articles, etc). before you engage, copy the username of the person who sent you the ask, and paste it into the tumblr search bar. this is how i found out that the first person who sent an ask like this to me was a scammer.

this post here (which i absolutely implore you to read, as it captures what i want to say here much better than i'm doing so right now) explains why there is an abundance of people on tumblr sending asks like this in people's inboxes. for one thing, they target popular tags (ex. literally, the "palestine" or "gaza" tags, or any tag that may be trending at the time), or, they go for blogs who are consistently reblogging and/or uploading content related to the genocide. why? because they're taking advantage of the fact that you want to make a change in regards to what's going on. and if that's the case, what would stop you from donating to someone "in need," right?

if you want my honest opinion, if someone is sending you an ask about this on tumblr at all, it's likely not real. to put it into perspective: people who are really in gaza and want to escape, raise money, etc, will go to big network places such as gofundme, because there are better chances of them raising actual money in general, but in a short period of time. as opposed to asking people individually, their cause will be more widespread, and more people will see it. not only that: places like gofundme are pros at figuring out what's a scam and what's not. op in the above post noted this, and how places like gofundme will remove causes that are clearly scams. that's why scammers avoid places like this at all, and go to places like tumblr, where it isn't so easy for the actual site to remove their post. it's only when people on the app pick up on it, that scammers' facades fall. does that make sense?

i feel like this sort of jumped around, but i hope i was able to clarify what you were asking anyway. if someone feels the need to add onto this, please do, and if i need to clarify any point i made, etc, please let me know! ♡

[rebelfell]

Been going through some stuff and just kind of need to get it out of me? And this is the only place I have that’s safe-ish from the real world where real people already know what’s going on.

tw for family death and grief.

My dad died last weekend. It was really sudden, it happened really fast. He was also on a trip out of state and my mom had to deal with it all alone.

Now she’s home and things started to feel normal again. But also not because our life is never gonna be normal without him? Like there’s this big him-shaped hole in the world and I see it all over.

I tried to tell myself I was gonna take a break from being on here because I assumed I wouldn’t want to be. But where else am I gonna dissociate and take breaks from feeling all these feelings?

At first I thought I should say something on here, because it felt weird not to say anything. But then I realized this was the only place where I could post nonsense and not feel like I was being judged for acting like nothing happened.

Because in here nothing did happen.

But now even that feels fake. I was already feeling weird on here and now it’s ramped up to 11.

I was having trouble reading even before this. My concentration is shot and everything that I write, including reactions to stories just feels hollow.

I see people writing and I want to be supportive and encouraging and I just don’t have it in me.

The fraud thing is really taking hold of me. I feel like I’m not sad enough, or like I don’t seem sad enough or like maybe I am sad, but I’m not sad about the right things. I feel like I’m not doing enough and then like I’m doing too much.

I just want to be told what to do, but no one else seems to need to be told. Everyone else knows what to do and what to say and how to be and then there’s me just flailing and failing.

It’s exhausting.

And I don’t want people to feel like they need to comfort me when I tell them what happened, but I also can’t just not tell them? And maybe what I need is to be comforted or to talk about it, but I know myself too well and I know I can’t.

It’s like when I go back to re-read and re-read and re-read the nice things people have said about my writing. It helps for a second, but inevitably turns into “wow, you must be really pathetic that they feel like they have to try this hard to make you feel good about your shit stories.”

Even as I write this, I’m already thinking I should delete it. Because any time I try and say I feel like I’m being weird, everyone inevitably tells me they never noticed anything different.

[ariluvsusm]

Connection was so cute! I am actually so obsessed!!

Could I request an Azriel piece where him and the reader have been together for a while but the Inner circle doesn’t know Az is dating anyone. Finally he takes her to meet them and they all get to see this very sweet and doting side of Azriel

I just want a very sweet Azriel and an Inncer circle that is losing their ever-loving minds because of it

IMPORTANT- I REWROTE THIS!! the version i wrote and posted last night sucked ass!! PLEASE READ (OR REREAD) AND GIVE ME FEEDBACK :) a/n: oh my gosh thank you so much!! i literally wrote it at 4 am and when i woke up that morning i had to correct like 30 grammar mistakes and added more dialogue to make it less… to the point? i just felt like it should’ve been longer seeing as being mates is a huuuge deal. anyway, thank you so much for the feedback and thank you for being my first ask!!! such a cute idea!!!

warnings: female y/n, none other!! just a few sexual implications :) and a sickeningly adorable az!!

ALSO- i didn’t include feyre. i am SO bad at writing feyre for some reason 😭 i’m trying to get better i swear!! im sorry if you wanted to see feyre, but it turned out so horrible i just decided to delete her dialogue and it made the rest of the fic better LMAOOOO

wordcount- 3.1k

————————————————————————

you’re laying in bed with your boyfriend, azriel. early morning light streams in through the windows, and his shadows dance across your bare skin. azriel is holding your hand in one of his, his other rubbing soothing circles on your back. you can tell he’s deep in thought.

“tonight.” he says quietly, turning his head to look at you affectionately.

“tonight… what?”

“i want you to meet my friends tonight.” he says to you, moving one of his hands to brush hair out of your face. “if you would like to, that is.”

you stay silent, hoping he changes his mind. his friends are so intimidating- the high lord, really?

“it’s- it’s just that… you’re such a big part of my life, y/n. and they are too. it feels weird, like i’m hiding you or something. i want everyone to know that we’re together.” he says hesitantly.

“i don’t know, az. i don’t know if they’d like me. i’m not some… i’m not like the rest of you. i’m just a healer, a scholar at that. i only came here last year, as a refugee. I’m barely squeaking by. i’m not on the court, i’m not rich or special.” you say, the last sentence barely a whisper.

“would you like to be?”

“what?”

“would you like to be on rhys’ court? i could train you to become a spy. we don’t have any female spies, it could be useful. or- or you could be our ambassador. you’re kind, and funny, lovable-“

“az,” you say softly. “it’s not that. it’s just that all of your friends are so much more powerful than me. what if they don’t like me.”

“they’re going to love you. y/n, you make me the happiest male in prythian. they will love you, because they love me, and they want to see me happy. that, and you are the most wonderful female i have ever met. you’re charming, you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent. they will love you.”

“okay…” you whisper.

“good.” he says, leaning forward for a kiss. your lips meet, and then you get out of bed, putting on a simple dress, the healers uniform, and turning around to see azriel watching. you walk back towards him and peck his lips.

“i’m gonna go to my class, do a shift at the camp, and then i’ll buy a new dress. i’ll be back before 2 at the latest. maybe we can pick up some coffee or something before dinner?”

azriel nods, sitting up in bed and stretching. his body tanned and toned. while he stretches, you slip on a pair of tights and flats.

“actually, i want to come with you to pick out your dress.” he turns towards you, pulling his shirt over his head.

“in… public?” you ask. you guys have been discreet, trying to keep your relationship a secret. for both privacy and safety reasons.

“y/n… i am all in. i want everyone to know. everyone.”

“okay,” you let out a breath, “me too. meet me on the bridge at noon?”

you kiss him once more before leaving your apartment and making your way to the school of medicine, taking your early morning class, and then arriving at the healers camp, where you diagnose a group of children with a new virus that’s been going around, and performing the proper magic in order to heal them.

—————————————— > azriel & rhys

azriel knocks on rhys’ office door, nervously for some reason. he knows that his brother will be supportive no matter what.

“come in,” a deep voice says from inside. azriel opens the door, walking inside the familiar room and sitting down. rhysand looks up. “hey, az. what are you doing here? i thought you were working on that tactic research in the library.”

“it’s about that…” the shadowsinger says, “there is no tactic research. i’ve been seeing someone.”

rhys does a double take. “seeing someone? why didn’t you tell me? research is boring anyway. females are much more interesting.”

“well… i just didn’t want her to feel overwhelmed. you guys are like… a gang of mother hens. but i came here to ask you if it would be okay if she comes here to dinner and meets everyone. she-“ he takes a breath, “she was so nervous to meet you all. she thinks she’s too low-class or low-level or something. but she’s the most amazing female i know. she’s- i-i think she’s the one, rhys…”

“az, that’s amazing! of course!” rhys beams. “finally, you bring a female home to mom!”

az groans. “see this, right here? this is why you didn’t meet her for the first year. one more word and i might just make it two.”

“a year?! gods above azriel, are you planning a wedding without your dear family aswell?” rhys clutches at his heart, feigning heartbreak.

—————————————————— > you after your 4 hour shift, you travel to where you and azriel agreed to meet. he’s already standing there, leaning onto the railing of the bridge and looking over into the water. his shadows wrap around his chest and neck, up to his ear, probably informing him of your arrival as he turns around and smiles at you.

“you wanna grab some coffee first?” he asks you before you can speak. you simply nod, and he grabs your hand. he smiles down at you, a warm, affectionate smile. his shadows wrap around where your bodies connect, dancing on your arms. then the two of you begin your walk to the small shop, passing by multiple gaping people on the way. some looks of jealousy, some of pure shock.

when you arrive, he greets the barista and orders your favorite drink for you. you sit down at a small table near the front, with a view to the sea, and you even hold hands over the table like a normal couple. and you couldn’t be happier.

———————————————————- timeskip

the dress [modest version :)] you end up with is perfect. it’s elegant, floorlength, and silk. yet, it’s cute and youthful, slightly revealing, and fashionable, in a beautiful shade of deep red to compliment the tie you bought azriel. although he went a bit red, he agreed to wear it with little complaint. soon, you are applying kohl to your eyes and matching red lipstick to your lips. you put your hair in a half up, half down hairstyle and slip on your heels. you give yourself a once over in the mirror, and leave.

you’d had a lot of discourse over what to wear- azriel tried to assure you it was perfect, but you were still nervous. on one hand, it’s your boyfriend’s family. on the other, it’s a group of the most legendary warriors and powerful leaders in history. either way it’s hard.

azriel flies you to the peak where the house of wind sits- a breathtakingly beautiful view of the city and sea sits beyond the mansion. he grips your hand and squeezes once as you walk up the front steps. you stand in front of the huge, fancy, looming front doors.

“are you ready?” he asks you.

“not really.” you reply.

“they’re going to love you, y/n. you’re the most brilliant and hardworking female i know. and you make me the happiest-“ basically repeating his speech from that morning.

“i know, i know. let’s go.” you cut him off. and then he reaches for the doorknob and you’re standing inside of the fancy foyer.

“that must be az! get your shadowy ass in here, we were about to start without you!” a high female voice yells from the dining room. the morrigan. you can tell because she guest spoke in a self defense class you attended. he takes off your coat, placing it on a giant coatrack, and then grabs your hand and leads you through a hallway. to the dining room, where 4 pairs of eyes immediately land on you. you know all of their names. amren. the morrigan. cassian. and rhysand- the high lord- who gives you a grim smile.

after a few moments of silence that lasted a lifetime, cassian says:

“it would appear azriel has brought us a female.”

azriel makes to move forward, but you are glued to the spot- stiffly standing there. the morrigan stands up.

“im mor,” she says, placing a comforting hand on your back and coaxing you out of your spot, “im sorry about them. they were all raised in a barn, it seems.”

“im y/n.” you say, trying your best to give her a smile. azriel protectively places an arm around you and leads you to two spots on the other side of the table.

“im cassian.” cassian says, “and that’s amren. she can be grumpy.” you love over at amren, and she’s sniffing the air- as if she can smell you and your soul. it sends a chill down your spine.

“so this is the female,” the high lord says, “i can see why you kept her to yourself for a year.”

the table breaks out into an outrage. cries of ‘a year?’, ‘azriel!’, and numerous other scoldings litter the table. even amren looks mad.

“you kept her from us for a year?!” cassian says, gaping. azriel places a hand on your thigh and looks at you, his eyes seeming to say are you alright?

the action doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the table. regardless, you give him a slight nod and turn towards them.

“well, seeing all of your reactions, it seems i was correct to do so. i should’ve kept her from you longer.”

“im right here, you know.” you smile at the two ridiculously buff men.

rhys adds with a smirk, “yes, in case you would like to speak to her and not about her.”

“finally, someone who makes our sweet azzy happy.” cassian sighs mockingly, alcohol beginning to take effect.

“the happiest male in prythian.” azriel turns to look at you, making eye contact. you look back up at him and smile.

“gods, you two are so cute. i never thought i’d see the day azriel finds the sunlight to his shadows.” mor says, looking at you approvingly. azriels shadows wrap round your arm and leg closest to him, which doesn’t go unnoticed by cassian. or the rest of the table, apparently.

“i never thought i’d see the day where azriel’s shadows like someone other than azriel.” cassian adds to mors comment. azriels shadows wrap around your torso.

“so, y/n, what do you do?” mor asks you. you wish she hadn’t; your cheeks burn in shame.

“i’m- i’m a student. i’m a refugee from fall court. i n-never got the chance to study at home.” azriels grip tightens on your thigh, and you look down. this is where they change their minds about you.

but mor- and the rest of the table- doesn’t look at you in disappointment or disapproval. she just nods, still ever-smiling.

“she’s studying medicine. she’s going to become a healer- she’s got the gift.” azriel says proudly, looking at you with admiration behind his eyes. you blush. cassian and the high lord exchange a look, as if to say, oh, man, he’s in love. amren smirks at mor, nodding at whatever thought is conveyed by her facial expression.

unexpectedly, the high lord says “that’s wonderful. i wish we could give sanctuary to more, save more. and we need healers. those who are blessed with the gift are sacred.”

“it’s an honor, high lord.” you reply. azriel looks at you in amusement at your use of honorifics, and you suppose that rhysand doesn’t use his title here.

“oh, gods, y/n, just rhys. or rhysand. please.” he says, waving it off and smiling.

cassian gasps, “but i still have to call you most great and all powerful high lord rhysand?!”

the table breaks out in laughter.

soon, you are enveloped in a conversation with mor and cassian about training. they want you to come train with them- learn how to defend yourself and others- and you agree. it could be very useful. azriel butts in whenever he can, boasting about your accomplishments and achievements. they congratulate you, trying not to let their jaws hit the floor at how soft azriel is with you, laughing and smiling at azriels enthusiasm about you. even amren smiles a little- and offers to show you how to properly use the huge library to research and study what you want. she offers to teach you how to harvest your magic- something you never used in fall court. the group looks very surprised, gaping at her. to which amren replies:

“what? if she’s to live with us, and appear at our dinners and in our lives, i should like to get to know her past basic dinner small talk.”

after dinner, you’re all stuffed and sitting around in the living area with glasses of wine. you and azriel sit on a loveseat- mor and amren are in armchairs, rhys and cassian on the main couch. you guys share stories; they ask you stories of fall court, let you talk and talk of your home.

azriel protectively places his arm around you, pushing you in closer to him. you two are basically cuddling.

“a little closer,” cassian says, quite drunkenly, “and she may have to take a pregnancy tonic.”

this elicits a growl from azriel, shocking you so much that you jump. you look at him with an incredulous expression upon your face- mor and rhys and howling with laughter. cassian just downs another glass.

“did you know she got the highest marks in her class last year despite only joining the class in the last half?” azriel says, again bragging about your academics. your face warms up.

“she became an apprentice even though she only attended half the classes! and now she works directly under the head healer!” he states, looking down at you and smiling warmly. you can’t help but smile back.

“stop gloating about my grades!” you playfully smack him on the arm.

“but you did so good!” he objects.

“im just saying, i agree with azriel.” mor says, “it makes feel safe knowing someone in our group can heal, and is knowledgeable.”

our group our group our group our group

her words swim around in your head and you can’t help but smile. azriel squeezes you, like he knows what you’re thinking about.

mor gets up and stretches. “y/n, you should come train with us tomorrow. we train from 8, after breakfast, to 11, right before lunch.” she glances quickly at a clock. “oh, shit, it’s 2:30 guys! you guys should just stay here, it’s too late for you to be up and about.” rhys nodded and stood up, stretching too.

“yes, all of you sleep in your rooms here tonight. it’s too late for you all to leave.”

then, cassian gets up.

“azriel, try to be quiet when you bed y/n tonight. we share a wall and i want to sleep.” you look down, blushing, and if looks could kill cassian would be six feet under because of the one azriel shot him. but cassian tips his head back and roars in laughter.

“it was so good to meet you, y/n. you’re the most amazing female for azriel. and im glad he decided to finally take you out of the safety and comfort of his dungeon.” rhys says to you, all of you now standing.

“hey, it was a mutual decision to hide it.”

“oh, yeah,” cassian mocks, “wouldn’t want her to get mobbed in the street by all of your other potential suitresses, brother.”

“well… i’m glad you guys deemed us worthy enough of y/n’s presence.”

azriel groans.

after 5 minutes of goodbye and goodnight and see you tomorrow, finally, you and azriel make your way through the mansion to what you suppose is azriel’s room. after bathing, you put on one of his shirts and undershirts and climb into bed with him. you lay your upper body on his chest, and he wraps his arms around you

“it wasn’t that bad, right?” he asks you, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“no, no. they were great. i’m excited to train with you guys. and study with amren.” you say, tracing circles on his toned chest.

“well…” he drawls, “let’s just say that you might be seeing a lot of them.”

“what?” you ask, changing your position to look up at him. “what do you mean?”

“rhys told me- hinted- that he’s going to ask you to be on his court.”

“oh- hinted”

“y/n, while you and mor were discussing healing, he said ‘you know, i have a position on my court open. one that happens to be whatever position y/n would want on my court’.”

you gasp. “azriel! holy gods.”

“I told you they would love you! you’re basically already part of the family!” he says.

“well…im glad you introduced them to me.” you say, laying back down while he wraps his wings around you. tendrils of shadow run up and down your bare skin, curling and trailing and slithering.

“i’m glad you enjoyed dining with them. and that they weren’t too bad.” he jokes.

you smile into his skin. and that’s how you fall asleep; moonlight and shadows entwined on your skin, his wings and arms wrapped around you, and you curled into him. you can’t help but feel at home here. with him- and with them.

—————————————————————————

(a/n)- UGH i struggled with this lowkey 😭 all week this week i’ve been writing bits and pieces. i’ve been super busy, so if it’s kinda horrible and breaky upy that’s why. i rewrote a lot of it since it annoyed me so bad 😭

[halsteadlover]

Just a little rant here about my personal life so feel free to skip lol

I know nobody is gonna read this and I’ll probably delete this when I’ll come to my senses but right now I feel so depressed I just need to get this out of my chest. I always felt tumblr like a safe space so here I am.

I don’t know if you remember the times where I took some time off because of anxiety and my mental health.

Lately it feels like it’s getting worse and I really don’t know what to do, I don’t know if many of you will relate (I really hope not) but it’s just like I don’t know how to be happy and I really hate it here man. I’m so tired of feeling like this, always worrying and having anxiety about something I don’t even know about. I feel so crazy sometimes you know? Like there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m honestly so grateful for the things god gave me. I’m healthy, I have a loving family (even if sometimes they’re overbearing to the point of crazy), I get to study for my dream job, I have a bf that puts up with my ass, friends even if few of them, there’s nothing wrong there are so many worse things people go through and I don’t even have to right to rant about any of this. So why do I feel like I don’t deserve any of this?

I have such deep trust issues it’s ruining my life and relationships, I don’t know why. I hate myself and I sometimes think I don’t deserve to be loved, I’m not that speciale and I’m so damn insecure that every good thing that happens in my life I can’t help but think it’s gonna fade in a minute, that something bad might happen, that I’m so easily replaceable.

Sometimes I truly think that if I disappeared no one would notice or miss me, I thought about doing it but I’m so damn scared. I don’t know where this is coming from, maybe the bullying had something with it I don’t honestly know but I’m so tired of feeling like this.

Why can’t I just love me? Why can’t I enjoy a single good thing that happens to me? Why do I keep sabotage myself by thinking I don’t deserve any happiness and it’ll soon fade away?

For example, these last two days I took three different exams and even though I’m relieved I can’t help but think I’m such a failure, that my parents are so disappointed in me for taking so long to finish a degree I was supposed to finish years ago.

I had an anxiety attack yesterday morning while I was with my bf and I sobbed for hours while he held me but if you ask me what triggered it I wouldn’t know how to answer you.

Why am I like this? Why am I not normal?

It’s just a bit of everything and I honestly don’t know what to do.

But please don’t judge me. I’m aware these “problems” are nowhere serious like some others and I’m so sorry for being so dramatic it’s just… I don’t know guys, I just want to be happy, to feel loved without actually thinking about the worst.

Am I soo pretentious? Do I sound so ungrateful? Complaining about these things when I have everything some people unfortunately dream of? I don’t want to sound like that and I feel so guilty about having these thoughts.

I know you’ll think I’m an attention seeker, fishing for compliments or things like that, I’ve been told that before here and I’m so sorry if it seems that way but trust me it’s the opposite of that. I’m telling this here because I guess it’s easier behind the screen, when no one knows you and can really judge you, but I also thing you’ll judge me anyway but at least it was good for me to let this out.

If someone reads this I hope you won’t think of me any less, and if you’re feeling something like this too I’m so sorry and if you want to talk my inbox and DMs are ALWAYS open for you guys, I’m here even if it takes me some time to answer.

Sorry if something doesn’t make any sense, I didn’t even read this back I’m just cried my eyes out while writing this post and now I have a headache. At least I hope the sleeping will be good lmao.

But tomorrow will be better, I’m sure of this.

[wave2tyun]

sooo, hello!!🥹💞 or welcome back!!!!

i don’t really know how to start this, at first i prepared a pretty long text because i wanted to explain why exactly i deactivated and what has been happening, but in the end i chose to scrap that and not get into in detail because it’s all related to my personal life and it's probably better to just keep that private, plus it’s some pretty heavy stuff as well, and i don't want to load that onto you. so this has kind of turned into a ramble instead amdbjdn

truth is that i have been struggling, a lot. october was one of the worst months mentally for me, which is when i chose to deactivate. at some point i did start slowly feeling better and i wanted to come back on here earlier than this but then things got worse🙂 like so much fucking worse😭😭 it’s still hard to believe and it still hurts and i almost can’t stop thinking about it, but looking back, i’m at least glad about getting through things the way i did- because i feel like the me one year ago would have acted and handled those situations so differently, or maybe i would have barely been able to handle them at all.

in the midst of it all, i started to lose my passion for writing. writing stopped being a form of escapism or a way for me to use my creativity. it just felt like a burden. whenever i wanted to write and opened up a doc i just felt paralyzed only by looking at it. i couldn’t get anything out, nothing for days on end. i felt like i was losing myself, in multiple aspects, not just writing, and the disappointment that overcame me only added more and more to my stress.

and i’m not going to lie, i’m still struggling a lot to write again :’) but i do want to give it another try. maybe it’s the fact that i first started out last year in december that is kinda making my heart tingle for it again andbjsns this period of time feels nostalgic:(

however, due to personal reasons (not regarding anyone on here, just to make that clear) i’d feel much safer and much more at ease to continue with a different username, i hope you guys can understand. i do feel very attached to my previous one but i really want to be able to post comfortably.

i do kind of regret deleting my other blog because of all the memories i’ve lost, but at the same time i’m also happy i did it because in a way it allowed me to fully choose to work things out and focus on myself without feeling burdened or rushed.

i don’t know how long it’s gonna take for me to post something new. i’ve been working on multiple things at once but the progress has been quite slow ambdkdn but at least it’s something!!!! so it might take a long time, it might also not. i don’t know, i’m just gonna let things be and let them happen whenever they happen. maybe you guys can also tell me some of the fics i should repost?? i won’t do them all at once cause they were quite a lot and that would clog up the tags anbdjdnd + i also need to proofread them again cause most of the time i’d do that directly on tumblr before posting🥲

soooo yeah. if you’ve read through this whole post, i really appreciate it!! :(<33 i’m happy to return on here while being in a better state, and if there’s anybody who would like to talk, do feel free to send me a message or an ask!! i’m still at home on winter break, but i will go on a trip pretty soon😔✊🏻 just so you know in case i might be slow with posting/replying!!

i hope 2024 will treat both me and you well. i hope it can be a year of growth and love, a year where we can freely let go and start anew. in a world where you constantly get beat down for everything i still want to choose to be gentle, sensitive, and soft. i love you guys!!!! :(💞💓💖💘💞💓💞

[cyi-can-you-imagine]

Long fic writing project

Ok, so I’m seriously considering revitalizing one of my old longer fics. Three are mostly written and have been posted here or on AO3. I’m going to take them down (not delete them!), really focus on the editing and storytelling rather than quickly posting.

These are all angsty!wincest. It’s all hurt!sam and caretaker!dean, protective!dean. Tragedy-comfort-love stuff. Lots of fluff. But it’s gonna make you cry, too, cause tragedy happens, too. And some have happy endings, and the others are left up for interpretation.

I am absolutely still writing my fluffy daily wincest short stuff, this is just an additional project because I want to get into my writing again…I’ll tag everything and give warnings about everything so you can skip if it’s not your jam… 🙂

So if there’s one anyone would like to see worked on, lemme know. Otherwise, I’ll just pick one and I’ll post it anyway, so….

Starved/Skin and Bones - this has had 2 different titles and, same story. Sam is kidnapped and not rescued for several years. When John and Dean finally find him, he is a shell of who he was and has lost several pounds. The boys had discovered they were in love with each other only three months before Sam was taken, and those feelings return. But Sam has a long road to recovery. He’s developed an eating disorder through his torturous experience, and of course, has some psychological damage too. The story is one of love, loss, despair, hope, tenderness, terror, grief, and love.  They have many obstacles to overcome. Including John. What happens when he finds out about his sons true feelings for each other?

The Choice - this a story about a sixteen year old Sam living in a motel with his brother. But something horrible has happened, and Sam makes a decision that affects his whole life. Dean’s too. Soon after, Dean starts noticing things have changed recently, and Sam’s acting very weird. They don’t touch as often as they used to. Dean’s used to his brother craving his touch, but now Sam seems to wince in fear around him. John is gone so often now, that Dean doesn’t think he knows anything at all.  Sam comes home late from school, he’s been getting into fights, and he’s more withdrawn. When Dean finally finds out the truth he is livid. He then makes his own horrible decision, and finds out too late the reason behind Sam’s choice. Can he fix this before the damage is irreparable?

The Fire Pit - John and the boys have settled in a small town for a very long term hunt. John’s rented a small house where the boys share a room. This proves difficult for Sam since he’s started to have feelings for his brother. He can’t stop thinking about him.  Sam attends high school there while Dean works. But the thing John is hunting? It’s a Djinn, and it’s kidnapped Sam. Of course, Sam doesn’t know he’s in a dream world. Here, Dean loves him. Treats him with tenderness, it’s everything Sam’s wanted. But when he’s rescued after 3 days, he realizes it’s all a dream, and that Dean doesn’t and never did love him. Sam’s in pain, both mentally and physically after the torture by the strange group that took him. But John’s in deeper than anyone expected, and what Dean finds out while helping Sam heal might just tear him apart. But the way Dean feels about Sam? Maybe it’s not a dream after all. And John? He does something that Dean never expected him to do. And now he needs to get Sam as far away from their dad as possible, or Sam could be lost to him forever.

Sick - Teenage Sam is really really sick. He’s been hexed by a witch and in a lot of pain. He’s alone for over a week while Dean looks for a cure - and gets worse. Much worse. When Dean returns, he discovers a little brother that has experienced something no one should ever face. Not only had he been hexed by a witch, he had been tortured by demons in Dean’s absence. Dean struggles to care for him as he blames himself for not getting back in time.  Love grows between the two boys once Sam is on the path to healing. But when John comes back from an extended hunt and finds out what happens, he takes Sam in the night, blaming Dean for “destroying” his brother. Overcome with grief and rage, Dean sets out to find the love of his life and save him from their father’s abusive hands.

Anything stick out to anyone? Which one should I work on first?

[novorehere]

Hey all! Just wanted to give everyone a bit of a content update.

I apologize for the lack of content for the past… year. I’ve been working through some stuff, and it’s been hard for me to find the motivation or inspiration to write. It comes in short bursts, meaning I’ve been (very) slowly chipping away at multiple projects at once. I just thought I’d update everyone on how things are going and make a list (partly for myself) of what I have in the works, what still needs to be done, and what you can expect from me in the future. Admittedly these are mostly obey me fics but I DO have other things tumbling about in my brain, I promise.

Opposite Day: 2/5 chapters finished, the rest 100% planned and around 30-40% written.

I’ve been sitting on an unfinished chapter 3 for almost a year now, and have written good portions of the other chapters in the meantime. This is the project I’m most excited to finish, and I feel bad for abandoning it for so long. Rest assured, I *am* still working on it, and am extremely happy it’s been so well received.

Untitled Simeon Comfort Fic: 75% finished.

Originally I wanted this written for his birthday (which was in February lmao) but as you can see that did not happen. I’ve got the beginning and end all written out, I sort of went off the script at the end with fun purgatory hall family fluff so the only thing I don’t have written is… actually the eating part. This will probably be the first fic I actually post, seeing as it’s the closest to completion.

“A series of Obey Me Vore Headcanons” Re-Write (Title Very WIP) 2.5/7 chapters re-written

This one I don’t think I’ve mentioned on here yet. I’ve grown increasingly unsatisfied with my original obey me headcanons list that I posted last year when I first got into the fandom. A. Because I hadn’t gotten very far into the story when I wrote it and didn’t get the full scope of the characters yet and B. (Most importantly) I feel like I really didn’t do the characters justice.

Since I originally posted it, there’s been a healthy amount of discussion on depth and nuance in vore media and reducing characters to tropes, etc. I’d like to re-write this series to focus less on physical aspects and “how they eat you” but rather more of an emotional and story driven story of why they eat you and their emotions and struggles that come with it. The obey me brothers are incredibly interesting characters, and I’d like to explore them in more depth and show you how interesting they can really be and why I love them so much.

This one might take a while to complete, but it’s gonna happen at some point. I‘ll keep up the original half-finished version in the meantime since I don’t want to delete it and ao3 doesn’t allow privating fics without orphaning them. I know it’s ugly in it’s current state, just know I’m working on it and the rest of those chapters will be overhauled eventually.

“Miss Em”: 80% written (kind of)

I’ve had this one sitting in my drafts for a while now. Originally I had plans to start another multi-chapter series but then Opposite Day sort of went to shit so I scrapped it knowing it was way too ambitious. But now I still have a mostly written Mammon fic in my notes app just sitting there and it would be a shame to just…leave it. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do with this one, Maybe I’ll write the Beel companion piece to it that I had planned and just leave it as a 2-parter. Who knows. It’s really cute, and I want to share it at some point.

Untitled Obey Me mini-drabbles: 60% written

Honestly this wasn’t supposed to be a whole thing. I started randomly writing one day on a burst of inspiration and it turned into little mini “scenario slices” for all the characters and I really like how it turned out. I still need to write for two of the characters and polish up some others, but it’s a fun low-stress thing to work on in between projects. Also excited to share it possibly soon since they’re fairly short and shouldn’t take long to finish (but you know me…)

An unspecified ITWOM fanfic: 0% written, 50% planned

For those who aren’t familiar, “In the World of Monsters” is an amazing novel authored by @vore-toast that just recently received a fantastic ending and epilogue (Please read it! It’s fantastic!) And I really would like to write a little something for it to show my appreciation. I have an idea planned out, but details would involve spoilers so I can’t say much. I’d need to ask for guidance on what exactly to include since the things I would like to write about haven’t exactly *happened yet* but I’ve said too much already… hee hee. I don’t know when this fic is gonna happen, but I swear to you it will. And if my original idea doesn’t work out, it’ll be something. I WILL be writing for this series, mark my words.

Heroes Off-Duty. 0% written, ??% planned

Huh? That’s weird... That one’s not supposed to be there. Ah well, It’s not relevant anyway. Carry on.

[andivmg]

(big paragraph rant ahead thanks to madison beer’s memoir)

okay so i finished reading The Half of It today and i have a lot of thoughts. but i’m gonna post just the pages that spoke to me the most in regard to online stuff and rant

i remember 2021 as being literally one of the worst years of my life this far because of twitter (obviously a bunch of personal stuff too but yk). to this day i’m mildly afraid of the internet which is very silly but very real. because of the part of the internet i was “famous” in i was forced to see every single thing people wrote about me and at first it was super fun super cool but it very quickly shifted into people picking me apart for everything i did or said. then i started associating myself with my ex and his circle of people and it only got worse. their audience was welcoming at first but after a week i would see people call me annoying and a pick me on a daily basis. and this was before i got “called out” for some stuff i don’t wanna get into now because i feel like it has been discussed enough but iykyk. so when that happened people latched onto that and to this day i still get the one off rude message about it. and when people tried to stick up for me i was reduced to sex. which was so demeaning in so many different ways. like the only reason i would ever be worth defending was because of my “pussy”. like that was the only thing about me that mattered. and as a woman on TWITCH of all places i was already hearing that enough. it was even more infuriating knowing that my male counterparts had done so much worse than me and faced maybe half the backlash. and even then had their mistakes and behaviors excused to the point of them not having to own up to them at all. as a woman of color i was held to a much higher standard than a lot of my peers. i was expected to know everything and to never make a mistake. so yeah, i wish i had been kinder to myself at the time. because no matter how mean the internet was to me, i was meaner. at the time it literally felt like my life was over. i would go online and only read bad things about myself. it was such a small group of people though, but i was so chronically online that it felt like the whole world was against me. and it sounds dumb and self centered but it’s how it felt as a teenage girl whose whole life was centered around twitter, tiktok, and twitch. once a big group of us went to universal and i tried to stay out of as many pictures as possible. whenever a fan would approach us as a group i would always offer to take the picture for them because i didn’t want to be in any of them. my friends told me i was being dramatic but i was trying to avoid what ended up happening anyway. people quote tweeting the pictures and making comments about me. i expected every fan that came up to either not know who i was (ideally), or worse, to know and hate me.

madison also talked a lot about being paranoid about her personal life being leaked online and talked about and i felt that deeply as well. once on stream i accidentally showed my lock screen (a picture of me and my ex) for like half a second. then immediately after, i ended stream and deleted the vod along with most of the clips but people had already had seen it and a week later my ex called me up mad as hell because people were posting screenshots of it on twitter and he was not happy about it. people were speculating on our relationship and making fun etc. and i just felt so powerless. like nothing i could do or say would change their mind. now i realize it literally does not matter what people say.

anyway yeah clearly madison’s book brought back a lot of memories for me. it was honestly oddly comforting to read. i know so many people that have gone through similar things and it’s never handled well by anyone involved. i feel a lot more comfortable talking about it now and especially here because i know it won’t become a huge thing since i’m irrelevant now and this is old drama. it’s just nice to write to the void sometimes (you guys aren’t a void i promise but yk what i mean). but yeah i’m over most of the stuff that happened that year. my therapist is amazing and helped me through it all. and now i can talk about it without feeling any type of way. it is something that happened. and i am okay now.

in conclusion, i love madison beer

[x0401x]

Do you think making a masterlist of currently active animanga blogs in a post to pass around perhaps would help? I try my best to find new ones since I don't know too lany, but as one anon stated previously in response to your post, a lot of orginal blogs are either inactive or deactivated. There are some series I love that have no content on here at all left since all the content is from blogs that are deactivated. Unsearchable.

I have the ambitious project (not now since I am in tremendous medical struggles/possible eventual end of life, but if I make it through it) of making some sort of semi regular gifset-manga-animanga contest of sort, with small money prizes, both for winners and smallers ones given at random for participation. Trying to bring back the old blood or bring in the new, you know? I am extremely far from that point and may never make it there, but I have always loved the animanga community of tumblr. It was always so cozy for me after my accident and after I ceased being a game developer. There is a charm to it!

Anyway, all of that to say you are not crazy, it did shrink and it is a relief to know I am not alone amongst those who miss the larger community that used to be there. Especially the content creators who deleted everything.

Hopefully we see a renaissance 💕❤

I hope you don’t mind me answering this publicly because Tumblr has been weird with asks lately, so I can never trust that my reply would go through if I answered privately.

And damn, I sure wish it helps because it’d help me, at least. I really wanna follow more blogs. My dash is dead lately. And wow, money prizes??? That’s very generous but are you sure about that? Not to rain on your parade or anything, but if you’re in tremendous medical struggles, maybe it’s best to save up all you can, even in the aftermath of it. By the way, I’m very sorry to about your condition. Hoping for the best to you.

I’ve been on this site for almost 15 years now and it’s the complete opposite of what it used to be at the beginning. It’s changed for the worst in every aspect except features and functionality. I really, really miss how it was before. I miss how the internet was back then in general. Just an entirely different thing. And that’s why I think it’s gonna be hard to get a renaissance, even with monetary incentives.

Don’t get me wrong, I think you should totally do the thing if you’re ever able to! It sounds pretty neat. But what needs to happen for things to go back to how they were before is that people have to start using the site as it was intended to be used. This place isn’t like other platforms, and although there are lots of posts explaining how to use the site properly, I feel like the people who want Tumblr to return to its golden are are the only ones passing them around. The message isn’t really getting to who it should be getting. I wish there was a way to teleport the new users back in time so they could experience the peak of this hellhole. But unfortunately, we have to find other ways to make them understand why they should reblog, make their own posts and follow/interact with other users. Perhaps that’s where the money could go to? A reblog/edit/follow spree challenge/contest? I don’t know, but either way, that’s a neat idea you have.

Again, hoping for the best to you! And thanks for coming by my inbox!

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

Here is part 4 of my Interview With a Writer series. You can go to this post to review the other amazing authors I have spoken with ♥ Just a BTS of some of the talented minds on Tumblr and ao3.

Name:  f4ll-for-you

Story: The Intern

Paring: modern Aegon Targaryen x Reader

Rating/Warning: Sexual themes and substance abuse.

So, when did you start writing? If I’m honest, I’ve always loved writing, even when I was young I’d always write ‘fanfiction’ for stories I’d read myself, but I began writing for ‘readers’ when I was about fourteen. That was back in the boy band era, 5 seconds of summer days and none of it was good, and it’s all very much deleted now, luckily!

Everything I’d written since had been for myself, until house of the dragon came out. I mainly began writing because no one seemed to be creating any Aegon fics, and I desperately wanted one. 

I began writing on Wattpad, which is where my main (very badly written un-edited, first proper fic lives) and when I got back into tumblr, 6 years later, I found a wonderful community on there and began my modern Aegon fics.

Where did the plot for The Intern come from? Awkwardly, I’m not sure. I knew I wanted to write a modern Aegon fic. I’d seen a few ideas floating around where the family had a large successful company, that Aegon is meant to ‘inherit/work for’ so I guess I gained inspiration from that.

I wanted the reader to be someone in her own right, not just ‘Aegon's love interest’ so I tried to build up her character just as much as his. I also wanted to show how damaged Aegon was, and hint that there were reasons why she understood him. Maybe I’ll explain her backstory at some point, because I have it in my head.

Explain your interpretation of Aegon. What drives him? Why is he the way he is in The Intern? He’s damaged, that’s the main theme. He’s done something (we don’t know what, but I do hehe) that means his grandfather has forced him to work for the company and, obviously, he hates it. 

He uses his position to get girls, and continue to live his life as it was, if he can’t party at home, he will party there. It’s not until the reader comes along that he finally sees a girl for more than just sex. He likes the way she takes little interest in him, how she needs glasses to read, how she never stays at ‘after work drinks’ for more than an hour. 

I think he appreciates how she’s never looked at him as less than a person, which is what he’s used to from his family and the girls only want him for a reciprocated ‘quickie’. Whereas she actually sees him as her boss, not that he’s ever acted like one. 

My version of Aegon (this is gonna sound pretentious as fuck) has been defined by his faults for so long that he’s become them. The Aegon we meet at the beginning is a shell of the person he becomes once he befriends her.

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal? As I said earlier, I was determined to make her a main character, not a side character that Aegon desires (not that there’s anything wrong with that, I love those fics just as much). 

I’ve massively fallen for the ‘enemies to lovers’ style, which the intern very lightly touches on, shown in their boy/girl teasing and joking friendship they have at the beginning. I liked the idea of her being a girlboss, hard working, clever but mainly incredibly kind. I wanted to show her as a little bit damaged, through her understanding of Aegon and how gentle she is with him. She rarely pushes him into getting help when he clearly isn’t ready to. She loses her temper, yes, but I think there’s only one time where she fully asks him to get help throughout the story, even though she clearly wants him to.

Do you feel your Reader compliments Aegon well? I’d hope so, I wanted to to make them fit together, but also have their own ‘things’ they needed to do before they could fully be each others. I guess you could see it a bit like Chuck and Blair in Gossip Girl, but they weren’t an intentional inspiration, now I think of it.

They both had a lot on their plates, the reader stuck working her ass off and Aegon stuck between various girls legs…that sort of thing.

In my head, I think they compliment each other by being what the other needs. Aegon needs someone grounded, kind and gentle, but she’s also not a pushover. She’s not going to let him walk all over her. Whereas the reader needs Aegon to realise her life isn’t based around her career, that she can enjoy herself and fall in love and be a little bit reckless.

Is there any reflection of you, the author, in this story? Pretty much always the female character is a part of me, it’s kind of a way of you living the life you want to live, so why wouldn’t it be I guess? Also, I find comfort in writing about addiction/other themes because it’s kind of a way of dealing with my own experiences.

Do you think you will do a sequel or expand on this AU? I have one chapter left, the epilogue, where I will hopefully make everyone forgive me for the sad ending to part four! I’m now expanding on the Backstage one-shot, and rockstar Aegon.

[thepocket221]

Can you do Lorelai Blyndeff on a date with her s/o?

GASP THATS CUTE ACTUALLY OMG

edit: it kept deleting parts of fic so i’m getting rid of the cut! LONG POST WOOOO

On a Date with Lorelai Blyndeff!

🐰🫧💖💜

For her, the destination for your date was just a hop, skip, and a jump. However, you lived further away, so you had to resort to taking the bus. It didn’t help that it was fairly loud and really, really gross.. and that it was a bit behind schedule. Not only yours, but the entire bus times were 5 minutes behind! It began to eat at you; the thought that your significant other might think you’re standing her up! You quickly pull your phone out to reassure her that you would in fact be there! Despite your frantic frenzy to text your girlfriend, your attention had been brought to the the slowing down of the very long vehicle. Okay, this had to be your stop…

It was.

Your unfinished text was shut off with your phone and shoved into your pocket as you scurried off the bus, thanking the bus driver as you left.

It was a little ways off from where you wanted, but you know, running is and option.

An option you didn’t hesitate in making!

You bolted down the sidewalk to your girlfriend, Lorelai Blyndeff, who was looking at her phone; her mannerisms were rather worried.

“L-LORI!!” You yelled with the small amount of breath you had left. Okay, maybe running wasn’t the best option; could have thought that one out more, huh..

Her melancholy body language immediately changed as she quickly turned around, “UGH!! What took you so long!” She pouted playfully only to stumble backwards when you quite literally jumped into her arms. She gave you a lovingly-aggressive hug back.

“hEY-” she nearly pushed the little wind left whilst picking you up and spinning the two of you on the ball of her foot, “some of us don’t live conveniently around the corner from cute shops, LORI.” you teased back as she let your feet touch the floor again. Was she always that strong?? The thought itched the back of your mind.

“Plus, the bus was running late. I tried to text you but I got here as soon as I was about to send it.” You mentioned.

“OH” her shocked demeanor became more known, “Not gonna lie, when I saw how long you were typing, I thought you were breaking up with me.”

“NO!!!?!?!” you huffed, remembering how out of breath you were, “I was [GASP] running here.”

“I could not tell lol.” She teased.

Upon recollecting yourself and your ability to breathe, you were able to take in her full outfit. ‘Oh, she actually went through with it.’ you thought in a positive connotation. She was cosplaying a rather familiar-looking bunny. The way she perfectly styled her hair to look like bunny ears was adorable; she was so creative!

“God, you’re so pretty!” You gushed at your lovely gal pal.

The lovely little Lori in question put a hand on her cheek, twirled her hair, and averted her eyes from you to in her blushy state, “Pfft, aww thanks!” With the same hand that was on her cheek, she removed from there only to make a playful shooing motion at you.

“Anywho, before my little sister bursts a blood vessel because I’m not at work (when i have the day off by the way) let’s go in! I’ve been dying to go here with you!!” Her annoyed tone at the mention of her sister was whisked away as she took your hand and brought you into the café.

The amount of days Lorelai “had off” were very concerning.. Especially considering her family’s financial situation. But if she wanted to spend them with you? You could let the malpractice slide for now.

As soon as the two of you had entered the shop, the little treats, drinks, and various merchandise that seemingly littered the many shelves in a rather hurried-decorative manner had her mesmerized. You too of course, but you were more focused on her lovely flabbergasted expression. She absolutely loved everything she was taking in, even if it was extremely overpriced!

What mainly caught your attention though, was an adorable bunny backpack. It was small in size but oh-so-very-soft to the touch! It wasn’t really Lori’s favorite color, but there’s nothing dye can’t fix! But if you wanted to get it for her, it wouldn’t be today. You can’t just buy a present for someone when they’re in the same store as you! How do you hide that?

Aside from that matter, there was quite a more pressing one at hand: who’s paying for what?

“So uh,,” you piped up, “sorry to ask again, but were you paying for the drinks or was I? I mean, I don’t mind! I just wasted to make sure-”

“Chill, sweet thing. You can pay for yourself, don’t worry about me!” She pointed her thumb back at herself in her usual, overly-confident manor, “My dad slipped me some extra cash, so I could even pay for you!” she grinned.

You wanted to question how Martin was allowed to have any sort of “extra money”, but hey, if Lori was happy, you could let it slide for now.

“Not to mention my 20% discount on food and drink!” Her thumbs quickly turned to a finger gun which she pointed at you! And she winked! Ooh, sassy!

You let out a giggle, “Hehe, alrighty.”

——

The drinks you two had ordered were absolutely scrummy! Just cram-jam full of flavor! Not to mention the chips she had bought were to die for! This place was definitely worth the wait.

“This was a lot of fun!” you began, giving a little kiss to your girlfriend, “Even if it were for a short time, I’m glad i got to spend it with you, Lori.”

The sincerity of your words cut through her heart as she looked at you with dumb tears appearing in the corner of her eye, “Aww, really?” Did she not hear that enough??

“Yeah of course!” You hugged her.

The hug lasted a bit longer than you expected. You didn’t mind of course, you loved your girlfriend and wanted her to feel loved too.

When the two of yo let go of each other, a rather suspicious noise came from behind your back.

‘Shit.’ You thought, ‘Maybe she didn’t hear tha-

“Oh? Did you buy something else?” She gave you a skeptical glance, trying to see what was behind you.

“O-OH- No..! Just the,” what could you possibly make up on the fly that she would totally believe, “The fake plant….?” Nailed it.

“Babe.” Her skepticism turned to a harsh-looking dead pan stare, “Babe, now you have to show me. That was so bad.!” She laughed.

Dammit.

“Okay yeah, that’s fair.” You easily gave up. I mean, you were going to give this to her anyways—just not in its current condition— so it’s not like this is really spoiling any big surprise.

When Lorelai had mentioned they would be going back outside due to the crowd forming, you saw your opportunity! You stated you were going to look around a bit more and that you would meet her on the bench with all of the fake, decorative plants on it. She slipped you a kiss and agreed. Once she had left, you rushed to the bunny plush-shaped backpack and almost slammed it on the counter, “How much for this?” You quickly questioned the cashier. They said 45$, you said sure, and now here you are, the surprise spoiled for you significant other. Darn packaging!!

Nonetheless, youu obliged with her request and brought forth the very crinkly bag, “You can go ahead and open it. I was gonna keep it a surprise until Valentine’s Day, but since I kinda ruined it..” You shrugged with a slightly embarrassed giggled while handing Lorelai the bag.

She took it and immediately looked inside. Her gasp made her sound like the was having a heart attack, and it didn’t help that she dropped the bag. Her agape mouth trembled with glee as her hands began to shake, “OMG BABE YOU DIDN’T!!!?!??!” She quickly picked the bag back up to only pull out another bag! But this was not just any bag! It was the cute little bunny backpack!

“I LITERALLY- OMG I-“ HER EXCITEMENT CANNOT BE CONTAINED!! She hastily grabbed you by your shirt’s collar and pulled you in for a quick yet genuine kiss on the lips. It only lasted a second, but holy balls did it feel like an eternity went by when she did, “I LOVE IT!!!!” She squeezed it.

“Really? I thought-”

“WHATEVER YOU THOUGHT IS COOL AND ALL BUT I WILL LOVE AND CHERISH THIS FOREVER OMG I LOVE YOU!!!” Man she really did like bunnies, huh.

You giggled as you managed to find one of her hands and slipped it into your own, “I’m glad, Lori.” You kissed her hand.

Today was a good day.

[mortalfollies]

List 5 topics you can talk on for an hour without preparing any material.

a challenge from @ginevralinton

i um don’t have any topics that i consider myself an expert on (i have approximate knowledge of many things). anyway, here ya go!

oneirology: psychologists really spew a lot of shit about dream interpretation, fuck freud, dreams are cool, you shouldn’t rely on some quack (spiritualist or psychologist) for an interpretation, please listen to scientists and understand that your dreams are for your memory to process events & your imagination to go fuckin hogwild (if you’re lucky like me. sucks to be one of those people that has boring dreams or doesn’t remember them). but also damn isn’t it cool that there are some near universal symbols for hope (eg. birds) and fear (teeth falling out & other typical nightmare stuff). pls tell me about recurring symbols in your dreams. mine usually feature birds and travelling through a fantastical place.

disney’s frozen, and what a clusterfuck the entire production of it was: blame my 13 year old self for this but seriouslyyyy there was so much that got cut and rearranged and the concepts were way cooler and the world would be a better place if let it go had never been written, i’m not joking!!! there was gonna be a curse!!! the film was actually going to be about sisters!! AUGHHHHHH

frasier: hey did you know they made roz have a baby because executives thought she should “have a repercussion” (aka be punished) for sleeping around? isn’t that fucked up. did u know bulldog’s actor is gay? lilith is so hot & funny & human & im in love with her. did u know that one of the creators of the show died in 9/11, and that’s why they named the baby david? here’s my slideshow on why frasier’s should’ve ended up with lana. here’s why s4e6 “mixed doubles” is one of the finest pieces of sitcom television - i actually just deleted a whole paragraph bc i could talk about that episode alone, god i love it.

commedia dell’arte: harlequin <3 columbina <3 innamorata of various names <3 i’m not a big fan of pierrot but i understand the hype. more of an opinion piece on how the costumes & archetypes have been used throughout history (pre&post commedia) and why i think they remain semi popular.

making bread: less of a talking thing where i tell you what to do and more of a come into my kitchen, sit at the bench and let’s eat. i love you. use more water in the dough. yeah no we’ll put it in the fridge overnight. oh look at those bubbles. listen to that crack. maybe five more minutes in the oven. put some butter on that finished thing. and then we eat and sit quietly. this is something i like to do. usually lasts more than a single hour tho

tagging @cactus-bag @sleeeepy-demon @belladonnafey @retourne-toi-eurydice & anyone else that wants to.

P.S don’t reblog this from me pls i don’t like threads! i just like being tagged!

[mercuryonparklane]

hello i love tayliz so much do u have a link to all of liz's unreleased songs? I love her music so much :D

Sorry, it's taken so long to respond.

There are some clips that she has posted on her Instagram of newer songs, but I am not sure if you mean those or the songs that were released in the year or so after she left Taylor's band.

This youtube channel posted the songs that were released in 2012/13 (they weren't necessarily "official" releases because she never put out an actual album or ep with these songs):

Here are some clips from songs that I think were possibly going to be on an ep or album that never happened:

"It's Been Real"

I’ll miss your face

But you’re in my heart

Forever and always

Yeah, baby, it’s been real

"What You Do To Me"

I’m losing all my cool

Not getting any sleep

And if you want to know

What’s gotten into me

It’s what you do to me

It’s what you do to me

"Cheap Champagne"

I don’t want to know who they’re talking about

Don’t say you’re sorry

Don’t call tomorrow

Don’t you know that’s why they made

Cigarettes and cheap champagne

Don’t get it twisted

Not gonna miss you

All intents to forget you, babe

Cigarettes and cheap champagne

All intents to forget you, babe

Cigarettes and cheap champagne

There was a clip of a song called "Good About Her" that has seemingly been taken down, but here is a comparison I made between the lyrics in the clip and some of Taylor's lyrics:

http://staging.spiritmusicgroup.com/Songs?Artist=Liz%20Huett

"Good About Her"

“Soft-spoken, sweet thing

She moves like a dream

I bet you love the respect

That you get

Don’t you?”

Feels a little “Begin Again” to me.

“She keeps it so cool

She plays by the rules”

“cardigan” voice memo:

“I knew you laughing like a damn fool,

Breaking every damn rule..”

“What a boring masterpiece”

“All Too Well”:

“But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

‘Til you tore it all up”

“Missing me,

Aren’t you?”

“betty”:

“I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything

But I know I miss you”

“Oh, it’s almost laughable

You say you’re compatible

But she’s nothing like me

What’s so good about her?

What’s so good about her, baby?

What’s good about her?

Good about her?”

Maybe another reference to “Begin Again”??

“That time when we parked

Outside of the bar

Couldn’t wait ‘til we got home

All our clothes came off

Does she make you swear?...”

“cardigan”:

“To kiss in cars and downtown bars

Was all we needed”

“betty”:

“Standing in your cardigan

Kissin’ in my car again

Stopped at a streetlight

You know I miss you”

There was a duet on a song call "The One" she did with one of the members from A Rocket To The Moon (she also did background vocals on a ARTTM song) that he has since deleted from his soundcloud and I have no idea if she co-wrote it, but here are the lyrics, which I posted here before he took it down:

“The One”

Put on a love song

Turn it up real loud

Listen on the drive home

Take the long way through town

As you start to cry and you wonder why

You ever put it on

That love song

Pour a little whiskey

Take a seat at the bar

Wonder if you miss me

I wonder where you are

I play that memory in my mind

Of when you were mine

And pour a little whiskey

I can tell the world I still love you

And give it one more try

If you want to

But maybe me and you

Are trying to turn the moon into the sun

And I’m not the one

Like a bad dream

It happens every night

When the one thing

You want isn’t right

Every little thing I try to do

Always comes back to me and you

Like a bad dream

I can tell the world I still love you

And give it one more try

If you want to

But maybe me and you

Are trying to turn the moon into the sun

And I’m not the one

The one that you were meant to find

I’m not the one

We have tried a thousand times

But it always comes undone

So, I can tell the world that I love you

Give this one more try

If you want to

But maybe me and you

Are trying to turn the moon into the sun

And I’m not the one

I’m not the one

She co-wrote the following songs that were given to other artists:

"Dammit"

Here's a post I made about this song:

"Not Going Anywhere"

No matter the actual nature of Tayliz's relationship (friends or more) this is the one song I am 100% convinced she wrote about Taylor.

"Put My Heart Down"

There are some interesting lyric parallels to Taylor's music in this one to songs like The Story Of Us, Better Man (particularly the "put my heart down and walk away just like it was a loaded gun" line in comparison to "push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun" - keep in mind that she did sing background vocals on Taylor's Version of Better Man and very likely sang on the demo - it sounds a lot like her - and may not have realized Taylor would ever release the song, since she wrote Put My Heart Down after Red was released), I Almost Do, etc.:

I never pictured us ever fighting this much Thought we were figured out but it's so messy now Your words they cut so deep and I think that you should leave I'll have to live without what I can't live without It already hurts So before it gets worst just

Put my heart down, put my heart down Put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away Just like it was A loaded gun Put my heart down, put my heart down Put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away This kind of love Is dangerous

So pack up all your things and just leave some air to breathe A million toxic tears falling like rain 'round here This is the final hour The end of our story tonight And I don't wanna fight

So put my heart down, put my heart down Put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away Just like it was A loaded gun Put my heart down, put my heart down Put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away This kind of love Is dangerous

Oh, it already hurts So before it gets worse I know it ain't easy But if you really loved me

Just put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away, yeah

Just put my heart down, put my heart down Put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away Just like it was A loaded gun Put my heart down, put my heart down Put my heart down, put my heart down And walk away This kind of love Is dangerous

"Don't Let It Hurt You"

"Say The Word"

That's all I can remember at the moment. There are a couple other songs she co-wrote for artists that never really went anywhere, but I can't find them right now.

I can try to make a post with some of the song clips she shared on Instagram later, but for now this is a fairly comprehensive list of songs that are out there that are not on her current profiles as "official" releases.

[corrodedcoughin]

hi anna i hope you're doing well <3 i wanted to share a bit about my experience with burn out from your recent post. last year I was attending school and a lot of big moments were happening in my personal life. all of that plus the workload, commute, etc. left me feeling burnt out to the point of severe depression :/ your body is constantly tired and you just feel empty regardless of how your try to surround yourself with good things. could be people or food or music or a show but once you feel utterly wrung out, it's hard to feel much of anything else. i know for me it kind of manifested in unhealthy habits to just kind of quickly get through the day, a shot sleep schedule, and for me to start obsessing over little crap that really wasn't all that important. all my time was being used to work or overthink myself into a panic and it just made me feel completely isolated from family, friends, peers, and i left that term feeling stupid and useless.

the best way i try to go around my burnout is for one, to not push myself through it. yeah it all seems hopeless now but is my problem today gonna be the same in a month? a year? i try to think outside the present moment because sometims you might not even realize you have tunnel vision until you actually get out of the tunnel.

my hobbies are still gonna be there when i want to enjoy them but my body and health are what need to be my first priority. a lot of my hobbies were related to tumblr/ao3 or just being online in general so I decided to quit. for around three months I stayed off my socials and deleted apps like tiktok and instagram and decided to stick to the least attention grabbing apps i like. even then i made an effort to stay off my phone as long as i could. it may sound kinda dumb but lowering screentime actually really does help reduce anxiety and i find i don't miss those apps at all.

and for me my burnout was largely being caused from school and I realized that this wasn't the right path for me at all. so i quit because nothing, no matter how seemingly important, should make me feel so horrible. I mean it's not even sadness or exhaustion it's emptiness. you feel nothing and everything and it aches and you just end up ruining all the good things you have by trying to ignore it and push through.

another thing that helped was finding stuff for me to do in my personal life whether that was getting a new job, cleaning the house, cooking a meal, or finding a new love for movies. I prioritized myself and i feel good. It took me about 6 months but I got there and it's worth it. I don't feel isolated or as exhuasted as before and life feels good again, my hobbies feel good again.

I hope you know you're not alone when it comes to feeling this way and i hope you take care 💌 happy easter or just have a happy april

Hello! I’m going to put a bunch of stuff under a read more but before I do that I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to even notice/read the things i posted and then writing this. I’m so, so glad that you are feeling better now and that you were able to do that for yourself. It sounds like you really figured out what you needed and it worked and knowing that it does work is so reassuring. So just thank you. For being kind to me and to yourself and sharing. I’m so glad you are here and if you ever want to talk be it silly or serious, my dms are always open.

You are so completely right about social media. I’ve had Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat deleted for a couple of years now. Covid pushed me over the edge with them and the relief of not having them there anymore is incredible. I have tiktok but go on it maybe for a week straight then don’t touch it for a few months. Idk it’s not great at holding my interest.

But yeah tumblr has been a bit of a difficulty for me, hence the dropping out for days at a time. Keeping up with things/engaging and needing to do it ‘right’ is so much more mentally straining than you realise until it’s just one more thing to push you over the edge. Even when I wasn’t replying to messages/asks I would be online trying to keep at track of things so I could ‘do my reblogging duty right’ when I eventually did feel good enough mentally to come back and it’s so STUPID. like!!! Nobody cares if I interact with their posts!! Nobody!!! I just internalised and spiralled a bunch of things from other parts of my life into here too!

Work has been really bad for at least six months now and it’s so hard. Then self doubt over looking into Autism and other mental health stuff as well as gender and trying to keep up with the gym and step targets and feeling bad for not being social every single hour of my day like my very extroverted brother has just really pushed me down into a hole. You don’t realise how many things are going on until they smack you over like a wave and then it’s like ‘oh boy, I can’t get up. And I don’t want to because I’ll just be pushed down again’

Eventually I started just taking my car down to the sea and reading a physical book instead of being online. It’s helped. It’s not sorted things but it’s helped.

My hobbies are primarily online too so I have an idea of where you are coming from, won’t say I understand because everyone is different but I get it. The temptation really IS to push through. I actually said to my only coworker ‘I just need to make it to the end of April. Then I can think about getting signed off if I /really/ need to but I won’t. It’ll be fine’ I don’t know why!! The job doesn’t care back!

I won’t bore you with all the details but it’s been Wild and knowing that you got through the other side is genuinely a light at the end of the tunnel. So thank you for sharing your experience. School is so hard, the first time I went I had to leave for mental health reasons or face hospital admission. I mean it when I say I’m so proud of you for making that decision. Truly. I wish you nothing but ease for the next section of your life, you deserve it. I hope you’ve found a new favourite movie or genre or just general joy in the new hobby! Would love to hear more about that or absolutely anything you have to say, your words are very easy to read and hold a lot of happiness in them. Thank you again and good luck with your new job if you have one or the search if you are looking!