#maybe he hasn’t changed sure maybe he still is sexist

[k-manik]

People digging up shit idols have done over a decade ago……..how is this productive

[penny00dreadful]

Okay, okay, okay listen.

Remember when we were all obsessed with Steddie Legally Blonde a while back? Yes, I’m still thinking about it, leave me alone. And I adore everything I’ve read. It’s all so fantastic.

But I had a thought because what if we switched it up a little? I’m going mainly off of the musical here, so bear with. 

So what if instead of having Steddie as Elle and Emmett, we instead have them as Paulette and UPS Guy/Kyle??? Like??? It fits, right???

But then, but THEN who do we have as Elle/Emmett?

Buckingham.

No, but just think of it! 

Or I guess you don’t really need to because I’ve thought of it enough for all of us and it goes like this:

(OMG you guys I blacked out and when I woke up this thing was 3.1k long written over a few hours. I haven't edited this at all so please be gentle about typos/tense changes etc. The fever just took me.)

Chrissy is your quintessential girly girl. She is Elle Woods. She’s blonde, pretty, cheerleader, very feminine and happy where she is in life, President of her Sorority with her besties by her side and her guy who is… well he’s as good as any guy could be, right?

Jason is handsome, rich, well connected, he treats her with affection and he humours her when she has some pretty wild, out there ideas. 

But then it happens and they break up because apparently having a girly girl for a wife just wouldn’t look good if he’s gonna live his life the way he wants to. Lawyer, his own practice, running for office. 

Apparently her blonde hair and boobs would hold him back which, what the fuck??? 

What does that have to do with anything?

They love each other, right? That surface stuff isn’t supposed to matter. At all! They’re supposed to be together no matter what because they… they love each other?

Well fuck that noise, no one tells Chrissy Cunningham she’s too fucking blonde to do anything which is a hypocritical ass thing to say because has Jason looked in the fucking mirror recently?

Different fucking rules, apaprently. 

Well, no more.

She’s gonna fuck up law school right along side him and she’s gonna wear fucking pink while doing it too!

And like, everything is going fine. 

Chrissy’s not stupid, she knows how she’s perceived by people before they get to know her. 

Vapid, bimbo, perky, blonde.

Like that’s an insult.

It’s just harder now that she’s away from her girls, gays and theys back home. And everyone here seems to think that the best way to live their lives is to look boring as shit while doing it along with tearing each other down.

She fucking hates it, but she’s determined to see it through. 

It helps that she seems to have found the one person on the whole of the fucking east coast who actually listens to what’s coming out of her mouth rather than just paying attention to the hair on her head or staring at her tits.

Robin is so strange.

She’s different in such a refreshing way, it’s like being able to breathe clean air for the first time in years.

And she’s fucking sharp. And sweet. And so, so comforting. 

Chrissy would have never managed to survive the depression of those first few weeks without her.

And like, she’s not ignorant to the fact that Robin sometimes does look at her boobs but at the same time it just feels different coming from a woman than it does a man. It doesn’t feel so objectifying.

Instead of putting Chrissy on edge it makes her feel a little smug. A little proud of herself, it makes her feel attractive and desired in a way she hasn’t felt in a very long time. 

Is that sexist? To prefer the attentions of a woman over a man when both do it just fine for her?

Chrissy’s not exactly sure, but she knows she enjoys it when it’s coming from Robin.

So maybe it’s a Robin thing. 

Chrissy honestly thinks things are looking up for her. 

Until Jason introduces Nicole. 

His fucking fiancee???

It’s been, like, four months since they broke up.

Nicole hates her guts, she can tell. She thinks she’s some two braincelled idiot who got into Harvard on daddy’s dime and needs to be babied through the simplest of tasks while not understanding how condescending everyone’s been the whole time.

Chrissy fucking understands. She’s been through it all before, but back then she had people by her side. It’s all so fucking childish. The world already hates women enough, Chrissy desperately doesn’t want to be at another womans throat, over a man no less, but Nicole doesn’t seem to feel the same way.

She’s ambitious and cut-throat and dedicated and a little bit terrifying. 

Apart from Robin, she’s on her fucking own out here.

And she needs something. 

Something of home to bring some light back into her life.

So she gets in her car and just drives around the streets hoping something will catch her eye. 

And it does. 

Some tiny little hole in the wall salon with a pride flag out the front that she’s immediately drawn to because god damn it she misses her friends. The girls, the gays, the theys.

As soon as she pulls over she feels both simultaneously like she’s come home and she definitely won’t fit in here, but she’s so emotionally raw at this stage it all kinda ends up converging on her and now she’s standing in front of a mostly empty salon and there’s a guy looking at her and she’s just fucking crying.

Through her blurry vision she can see the guy approaching and she really fucking hopes this isn’t gonna turn into a thing because she just does not have any spoons left to deal with some creep right now. 

But he seems to sense how he’s coming off because he becomes a little more effeminate from one step to the next.

“You okay, honey?” He asks, big brown eyes wide with concern and a hand covered in rings hovering over her shoulder, not touching. He has a cigarette in the other hand, held away to keep the smoke from reaching her, his arms covered in ink but Chrissy wants nothing more than a cigarette right now.

Or, that’s kind of a lie, but she’d love one in all honesty. She hasn’t smoked in so long. 

The guy spots her eyeing it, sticking the cigarette back between his plush lips and needing to use both hands to pull his carton from his pants considering they’re so tight.

“Bad day?” He hands her one and Chrissy ends up breaking down all over again.

She tells him that it hasn’t just been a bad day, but a bad half a year, really. She tells him all about Harvard and Jason and her professors and Robin and by the end of her ranting they’re sitting back in the breakroom of the salon. They guy’s name is Eddie, she learns and despite his mean and scary exterior Chrissy thinks he might be the gentles person she’s met in this whole god forsaken city.

He holds her hands between his and listens to her. Actually hears her talk and pays attention and is concerned and attentive and she loves him for it. 

He helps her find her confidence again, at least for the rest of the day. They commiserate about how they both stick out like sore thumbs in their communities and how people need to just kinda get over it.

He encourages her not to let the normies win, do go hang out with Robin, to go kick ass and she’s just wondering how on earth she can ever repay the favour when they hear

“Knock, knock.” 

Coming from the front of the salon.

Eddie’s whole face drains of colour before immediately turning red and he bolts up from his chair, stumbling out of the staffroom and moving back behind the receptionists desk.

Chrissy gets to watch in real time as all of Eddie’s incredible confidence and easy lightheartedness disappears into a vat of nerves mostly hidden by cheeky flirtation as he twirls a lock of hair around his finger and bats his eyelashes at the Hot UPS Guy who looks equally as charmed. 

When the guy, Steve, has to get back to his route, Eddie practically melts against the desk as soon as he’s out of sight. 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who needs help.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at her but smiles anyway. “I had that handled just fine.”

Over the next few months, she and Eddie get closer, Eddie and Steve stay exactly where they were that first day and she and Robin are quickly approaching best friends level.

But Chrissy is starting to come to terms with the fact that maybe she wants a little more than to be best girly-girl friends with Robin and maybe she wants to stick her tongue down her throat about it. 

The two of them are practically attached at the hip, spending all day at classes together, alternating between their respective rooms to study late into the night, ending up in the same bed together and waking up together in the morning. 

Chrissy is almost, completely, entirely sure that this is all very not platonic but it’s so difficult to tell.

She’d be constantly sleeping over with her friends back home, hugging, kisses on cheeks, cuddling in bed or when watching movies, just girly things.

But this feels different. Is it different?? Or is this just how Robin is with all her female friends, the same way it’s always been how Chrissy was with her friends back home. How can she tell if it’s going from platonic to romantic??

And all of that needs to go on the backburner anyway because they’re being put on a real life, for realsies you guys case. And if they fuck up this case they could be at fault for someone spending the rest of their fucking life in prison for something they didn’t do??

Unacceptable.

And after Chrissy finds out their client used to be on the same cheer team as her? It was all over. No way was she gonna let her go to prison just because everyone thinks a pretty young woman couldn’t possibly love someone a little older than her. 

Not on Chrissy’s watch. 

But first she has to deal with Robin’s wardrobe because they professor is insistent that all the women wear skirts and tights and Robin is not having it.

Neither is Chrissy to be fair, so she takes Robin out to the most lavish place she can, decks them both out in the fiercest looking pantsuits they can get their hands on, refusing to back down.

It comes as a surprise to both of them when Nicole stands with them in solidarity as well and now their professor is both outnumbered and losing his arguments with only Jason on his side about this and they fucking win.

It’s only a small win but it still feels fantastic. 

Riding her high of winning that small fight, she bursts into the salon and informs Eddie that he is going to either kiss or ask out Steve the next time he sees him and when Eddie reacts like she just said she was going to shave all of his hair off she refuses to hear it. 

Because the thing is Eddie is pretty, really pretty and she knows that Steve knows it, but she doesn’t think that Eddie himself is really aware of it. And despite his prettiness, he’s all awkward elbows and knees. 

So she gives him some tips and shows him how to highlight certain things about himself, the long legs, the tattooed arms, the hip bones. Even his cute little bum. She teaches him how to subtly pull at his clothes in conversation so some skin is exposed or his tiny little waist is highlighted. She teaches him how to use his eyes to go in for the kill.

He doesn’t seem to think it’ll work but she is almost certain it will. 

And it’s confirmed for her when she gets a call later that night from Eddie who sounds fucking over the moon and completely bewildered by the fact that Steve likes him back??? Has done for months?? And they had some incredible dirty nasty sex in the salon after it closed for the night and how they’re going to the movies tomorrow??

Eddie swears he’s gonna send her the biggest fuck off fruit basket he can find. 

Everything is looking up for her, especially after she has such a major win in court, figuring out one of the prosecutors witnesses had perjured himself on the stand (without outing him to the whole damn court, thankfully).

Or at least everything was looking up for her until she found herself alone in a room with her professor and she felt the energy in the room shift before it happened. 

His hands were on her before she could do anything about it and she cracked him across the face for it before she could even think about what this could do to her legal career going forward. 

Because that was the reality of it, wasn’t it? 

Either allow herself to get assaulted or destroy her career before it even started. 

She didn’t know when her priority had shifted from getting Jason back to actually pursuing this as a future career. But she had found to her own surprise she loved it. She adored it actually. 

And now…

Now it would all be gone. 

Jason had seen, of course he had and he was less than kind about it because apparently it made more sense that she had fucked her way into Harvard than had actually been smart enough to get there on her own. 

She couldn’t stomach anything Nicole could possibly have to say to her but if the way she was glaring at Jason with barely concealed rage after that comment was anything to go by, Chrissy didn’t need to worry too much about that.

She just wanted to go. To get out. She needed to get out. And she would have gotten away scott free if Robin hadn’t been hanging around waiting for her.

Robin’s face broke into a bright smile but that quickly slipped away when she saw the state Chrissy was in. She was all sweet concern and care and affection but Chrissy couldn’t fucking deal with it at that moment, she couldn’t face her.

She couldn’t face Robin who would find out what a fool of herself she’d made believing in Chrissy, when Chrissy had thrown all of their hard work away.

Because no one would ever fucking see her as a person. She was just a piece of ass.

So she ran.

She didn’t even realise where she was running to until she was standing outside the salon doors again. 

It was late, they were closed, of course they were, why was she here?

She was standing outside the door crying again like she had been the first time and it was all just so fucking stupid-

“Chrissycakes?”

She was enveloped in Eddie’s arms before she could even blink, being ushered inside and steered back to the staffroom, same as that first time. 

There were beer bottles and take out containers over the table and Steve sitting at the table and oh, she’d interrupted something hadn’t she? 

What a fucking way to officially meet one of her best friends new boyfriend right?

But they were so sweet. 

They sat and listened while she spilled the whole thing, offering at different points to hunt down her professor for her or slash his tires or lose all of his mail or whatever and she was forced to giggle through the tears.

But she shook her head in the end. She was tired. She was sick of having to defend herself constantly. 

She needed… she needed to go back to where she belonged. 

And she was about to. 

She was about to leave the salon, swear to keep in contact with Eddie because god damn it she loved him now and she was ready to run.

But then there was a hammering at the door and Chrissy poked her head out to see Nicole standing there looking like she was on a fucking crusade. 

And… was that…?

Robin was standing behind her, looking like she was just trying not to get in Nicole’s way.

Eddie grumbled to himself about changing the damn salons opening hours if this was to continue but he unlocked the door anyway.

Nicole burst in all fire and determination, shoving her finger directly in Chrissy’s face.

“I hated you. But god fucking damn it if you didn’t prove to me that this is the career you belong in. And I refuse to stand by and see an admirable woman of your smarts and calibre get run over by some small dicked professor with a receding hairline. You’re so much more than that. So c’mon. We’re breaking through that fucking glass ceiling if it kills us.”

Holy shit.

Robin pulled her into a tight hug, warm and comforting and a little too long to be platonic, running a hand through her hair. 

“We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with Chris, but… you deserve to be in that courtroom.” She muttered into her ear and Chrissy could do nothing but nod into Robin’s neck.

She heard Eddie sigh behind her. “Okay if we’re doing this then… I need to make a few calls.”

A few days later Chrissy made her triumphant return to the courtroom. Everyone was there to support her. Eddie, Steve, her besties from back home that Eddie had called, telling them it was a friend emergency and so of course they all came right away along with Robin and Nicole bracketing her on each side. 

And while she could tell the court wasn’t taking her rants on hair care very seriously, when she finally came out with the verbal crackdown, proving the witness was actually the murderer, the gasps from the gallery were enough to feed her for years to come. 

When all was said and done at the celebration later that night, she found herself being approached by Jason.

He told her it was a mistake to let her go, to discard her the way he had and she agreed that yes it was. But his mistakes weren’t her problem anymore. And from the look of it they weren’t Nicole’s problem either. 

Jason surprisingly took it well enough, mentioning that he never really felt the same passion for law that she so clearly possessed. 

She wished him luck with finding what he wanted to do.

But now.

Now she needed to find Robin. 

Chrissy couldn’t take it anymore.

So weaving through the people around her, she grabbed at Robin’s hand, dragging her away from Steve who she had become inseparable with and pushing her into the hallway.

Robin didn’t even have a chance to ask what was happening before Chrissy was on her, pressing her into a wall, holding her close with her hands on either side of her face, kissing her with so much longing and elation and joy and happiness that when she pulled away Robin looked completely dazed. 

Robin blinked slowly a few times before her face broke into a wide grin. 

“Me too.”

[sockmeat]

What are y’all’s thoughts on Crimson from HB?? Like obviously he’a a piece of shit, but there is literally so much potential for dark content my mind is BUZZING

I HAVE SOME IDEAS... ok i only have 2 (just a warning, they’re a little dark)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

THE FIRST ONE: The reader is Moxxie’s little sister. When Moxxie goes to jail and chooses to stay away from his hometown and family, he forgets one thing--his little sister.     Ever since Moxxie left, Crimson has been telling reader how much Moxxie hates her, how much he hates the family, how much he wanted to get away from her.

    So, reasonably, the reader grows to resent Moxxie. Occasionally, she’ll think about what life outside of the mansion is like. She’ll remember how Moxxie treated her, how he made sure she was never around for Crimson’s fits, and wonder if he doesn’t actually hate her.

    Crimson has gotten good at spotting when this happens: she’s less willing to listen to his commands, she’s always spacing out, and always looking at Moxxie’s empty room. He’s always quick to snip that hesitance in the bud and warp her perspective of her dear older brother. She’s always been a daddy’s girl (and hasn’t really had a taste of a healthy relationship), so she believes him.

    When the IMP is called over to the mansion, Crimson doesn’t tell the reader that Moxxie is there. He is fiercely protective of her and knows Moxxie would try to save her.

    Crimson’s reason for inviting Moxxie doesn’t change. He wants Moxxie to marry Chazwick. However, this time, Crimson does have a back-up plan: if Crimson is unable to marry Chazwick, for whatever reason, the reader will marry him instead.

    I haven’t quite decided how Moxxie and the reader will reunite, but I don’t want it to be too soon. Maybe she’s attracted to the commotion Millie causes and enters the wedding and barely sees Moxxie before he’s swooped off.

THE SECOND IDEA: The reader is Moxxie’s mother and Crimson’s wife. She basically replaces the actual character. Unfortunately for her, she has a bit of a savior complex so she aims to try and help Crimson’s state of mind.

    They met before Moxxie was conceived. Her family is a part of a smaller chain of the mafia and basically relies on the (wtf is their last name??) family to keep their connections and stay out of debt.

    The reader’s and Crimsons’ marriage was arranged. It was decided since before they were born that the oldest of their families, which happened to be them, would wed and have an heir.

    Unfortunately for the reader, both families have a pretty sexist point of view. They believe the women should serve their husbands and make sure the children are spoken for. Among the long list of no-no’s, she isn’t allowed to raise a fist to Crimson. She hasn’t been taught basic self defense to ensure she doesn’t break this rule.

    At first, Crimson is very clear about his hatred for her. Though, since he’s so adamant about not disrespecting the family, he only expresses it when they’re behind closed doors.

    The reader still tries despite how he treats her. She’s determined to live a normal life, and if that means risking it to get closer to Crimson, so be it. It’s all or nothing.

    The reader’s story is a bit like the ugly duckling. Until her mid-teen years, she has no idea how to dress, pose, or look flattering at all. Crimson continues to be rude and unforgiving until she gets her glow-up.

    That’s when he starts to notice her more. How she doesn’t raise her voice at him no matter what he does to pester her, how she somehow finds a reason to forgive him despite everything, how her boobs have grown since they were kids--

    Yeah, he pretty much jumps her bones whenever he gets the opportunity. Moxxie is born and the reader stops trying to please Crimson 24/7 to take care and nurture Moxxie.

That’s about as far as I got on that...

I do wanna write these, but I’m not sure how big the Crimson Simps(TM) sections will go considering he’s a douche bag

Let me know!

[pillowfriends]

my thoughts on the WoT characters after book 5

before I start posting Lord of Chaos thoughts, I wanted to sum up what I think of the characters after The Fires of Heaven (and New Spring) so I can look back on it later. I’m sure I’m missing some, just listing everyone I have thoughts on.

Alanna: I have my eye on her after those sus forced bonding comments… time will tell but I don’t trust her at all. I like her though, she’s fun.

Asmodean: he was funny as hell, what a pathetic guy, and had objectively the most hilarious death in the series so far.

Aviendha: this is probably the character I have the least complicated feelings about. I just like her. she’s funny, she’s badass, her relationship with Rand is great.

Birgitte: a hot bicon. every word that comes out of her mouth is gold. she’s such a bro.

Egeanin: standout side character to me I love her so much. yes girl unlearn your cultural biases! and be unhinged and horny on main!! she better come back!!

Egwene: girl I want to like you but you're making it so hard 😭 as a character she's great. as a person I'm struggling with her dumbassery and her superiority complex and the way she's treating Nynaeve.

Elaida: she’s cringe and bad at her job but I kind of stan. she’s doing her best and it is absolutely not good enough and she’s being puppeted by the Black Ajah and only succeeded at deposing Siuan because a bunch of teenage boys stabbed people for her. I can’t even be angry at her tbh.

Elayne: book 5 was so great for Elayne. she's maturing a lot and she really shot up the list for me. her interpersonal relationships are so funny and I love how excited she is about making ter'angreal.

Faile: maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder but I miss her and want her back. she was so silly but also loved Perrin so much and I’m such a hopeless romantic that I loved the sappy parts.

Gareth Bryne: this man is a CREEP!! Siuan get AWAY from him! ugh ugh ugh. and I know it’s only going to get worse.

Galad: unfortunately this man is one of my favorite character archetypes. I didn’t vibe with him at first but now I really do.

Gawyn: I want to put him in a paper shredder. I am so angry at this man even after a full book to cool down post-coup. please let me deck him. I do think my feelings will change but right now I’m still angry as shit.

Graendal: problematic queen. do I think RJ will do anything interesting with her, probably not, but am I intrigued, yes.

Lan: THIS MAN BREAKS MY HEART DAILY. ohhhhh my god. not normal about him.

Lanfear: hmmm complicated feelings about book Lanfear. I found her introduction painful and annoying - it’s way too obvious - but she improved and I do love how crazy she is. it didn’t really sink in for me until her conversation with Rand in Tear that she’s delusional and obsessed with LTT to the point of being completely out of touch with reality, and therefore v scary. TLDR I love her now. RIP gone too soon.

Leane: I have no idea what’s cooking with her, I just have to RAFO. I’m either going to think she’s an icon or get angry at RJ for being sexist and I don’t know which.

Liandrin: the balls on this woman are actually insane, trying to Compel Moggy. she’s way too cartoonishly evil to be really interesting though. but she makes so many sexually charged dog references which I love tbh.

Logain: he’s fine I guess. hard to tell where his story is heading and he kind of hasn’t done anything.

Loial: he has never done anything wrong in his entire life, he's perfect and I love him.

Mat: I've come around and I like him now. his memory stuff is really interesting and so is the way he interacts with fate/the Pattern.

Melaine: best Wise One I love her so much.

Min: she’s never clicked with me as a character and I think her motivation is kind of dumb and repetitive. I also really dislike how salty and disrespectful she is towards Siuan but that has to do with my personal issues about the Siuan plotline so I can’t totally blame her for that.

Moghedien: I NEED to put her in a petri dish and poke her with a stick. girl you are not subtle about your petplay kink. somehow she’s scary and pathetic at the same time and I just love her a lot.

Moiraine: I can’t even put it into words. she’s my everything.

Morgase: I feel so fucking bad for her, her POVs were horrific, what a survivor. I'm excited for when she gets a bigger plotline.

Nynaeve: my favorite character who’s on page at present. first of all she has a Forsaken collared. second of all she’s so angry and I love angry women. also she has no self awareness which makes her POVs very amusing, but also sometimes devastating — I love her struggling with fear and her perceived cowardice in TFOH.

Perrin: I constantly forget he exists. not in a bad way but not really in a good way either - he’s just bland to me.

Rand: he is my idiot baby boy. go insane faster please it’s interesting.

Rahvin: good riddance you creepy fuck. not even awful in a compelling way to me, just awful. good as a character, well-written, but AAAA.

Siuan: her arc after being stilled is distressing to me and I don’t like reading it - her loss of power and influence, the way the other Aes Sedai all treat her, the sexual harassment… so I have a hard time separating that out from Siuan herself. I’m… torn. I love some of her scenes and some feel very out of left field. we’ll RAFO again.

Suroth: GIVE ME MORE. her POV was fascinating and she’s so awful.

Thom: against my best wishes, I actually like him now. he’s so dad coded and protective of Nynaeve and Elayne, and a badass, and has a good sense of humor.

Verin: what an icon!! favorite Aes Sedai bar none now that Moiraine is gone.

[inevitably there will be a part 2 when I realize I forgot some really obvious people]

[starlene]

Today, I’ve been thinking about how much I’d like to see a woman play Daniel Daréus in Så som i himmelen.

I‘ve already posted about how happy it makes me that Daniel is a male main character with some feminine-coded traits, but genderswappeding him into a woman would be interesting too, because then we’d have a female lead with male-coded traits. Intense emotional constipation and working yourself to death, for instance... but also the whole internationally successful musician thing, because unfortunately, there’s still a lot of sexism in the world of classical music. I think it would give the character extra motivation to push herself so hard, to show all the sexists that it can be done.

And if you ask me, Daniel and Lena’s love story would work better as a lesbian romance! It would fit so well. And apart from cutting Lena and Olga’s little song about finding Mr. Right and maybe the pregnancy thing (both of which I would cut in any case, because frankly, I think the first one adds nothing while the second one is plain confusing), you wouldn’t even have to alter the script.

I mean, personally, I’m as emotionally guarded as they come, so I understand talking about your feelings can be hard in any relationship – but I think Daniel’s difficulty recognising and telling Lena about her feelings would make even more sense if they were both women. Suddenly, there are so many potential reasons for that! Maybe Daniel hasn’t yet quite come to terms with her own identity as a woman who loves other women, maybe she’s nervous about the villagers being homophobic, maybe she just doesn’t quite know how to proceed since at first, she doesn’t know if Lena swings that way... sure, being terminally ill and not daring to fall in love and hurt the other person because of that is a good enough reason for Daniel warming up to Lena somewhat slowly, but I feel like even so, changing the straight romance into a lesbian one would benefit this story.

Daniel being a woman would enhance the Daniel and Stig rivalry, too. While Stig may not be actively sexist and homophobic (after all, the person he hates the most is himself, so I feel like he wouldn’t even have too much hate left for women and minorities...) I feel like he’s conservative enough that being overshadowed by a woman, and a queer one at that, would bother him especially hard. Ditto for Conny having suspicions about Daniel hitting on Gabriella. Also, visibly styling Daniel as a gender non-conforming woman would add an extra element to the way the character doesn’t, at first, fit into the Ljusåker community. People like you don’t belong here.

I really want to see this. Can we please have this??

[tuber-culosis]

I've been reading through a lot of radfem blogs and posts lately. and gotta say, i'm leaning a lot towards radical feminism. And im definitely gender critical.

but one topic I want to talk about in particular is the criticism of Islam.

Which I feel is totally valid considering the current state of mainstream islam and Muslims.

Mainstream Islam (is what you see on all social media, seemingly practised by a lot of Muslims) IS sexist. And homophobic. There's no use denying it, neither do I think I'm a bad Muslim for not supposedly defending my own religion. You have to recognise the flaws in your own system to improve and progress.

Then arises the question why am I still Muslim then/ why do I still practise Islam? If I recognise the way it is practised is sexist and homophobic, which are things I'm against?

The difference lies in my belief that "mainstream Islam" is much different from the root of Islam.

Many (read: a LOT, not all) modern Muslims have been influenced by ultra conservative movements that want to return Islam to the way they believe was practised during the time of the Prophet (pbuh), ie; some centuries back. This is propagated by the ideas of Salafism and Wahhabism that frankly, prevent progress, reform or any sort of growth in Muslim communities.

I personally have witnessed this in my own country, India, where women are increasingly wearing the hijab and even full body covering purdahs, not talking to the opposite gender, men not looking a woman other than their wives in the eye, etc compared to when my mother was a child, when almost all Muslim women dressed in normal comfortable clothes and there were no much gender segregations. (Gender segregation still existed to a certain degree due to conservative Indian culture ofc)

This radicalisation led to the development of ultra conservative Muslims who enforce sexist, homophobic and separatist policies in the name of God.

They claim to want to return to "true Islam" but they add so many unnecessary rules and regulations you have to follow in order to be a "true Muslim" that are almost so impossible to follow I can vouch I have unconciously broken like 50 of them in one day maybe. These "laws" are derived from:

1. The hadith

2. Arab culture

3. Poor translation of the Quran to fit these radical ideals.

Explaining each of these in a little more detail,

1. A lot of practising Muslims might come at me for this one, but I feel that considering the hadith to be a holy source of guidance and believing everything in the Hadith when there are so many contradictions and logical fallacies, is foolish.

For those who have no clue what the hadith is, Islam basically has the Qur'an, which is, as we believe, a holy book revealed by God to the Prophet (pbuh), which acts as divine guidance on how to live life as a good person. It has rules, suggestions, and guidance to take desicions on a lot of everyday matters we face. It was a godsend (hehe pun fully intended) to women, who weren't even allowed to own property back then. Muslims believe that the Quran is guaranteed againt corruption by God, as revealed in one of the verses. Therefore, to a believer, it is THE book to consult, and the verses will never change, no matter how many years pass. There's actually a really interesting way the Quran is coded, so people can know if it has been tampered with or not, if anyone is interested. But the bottom line is, for a Muslim, the verses of Quran cannot be challenged. There are various INTERPRETATIONS of said verses, but the core Arabic text is the same.

Now there is a secondary source of guidance in the form of Hadith, which is literature that claims to record things the Prophet (pbuh) has said in his lifetime. The problem I find, along with other hadith critics, is that it was compiled much later after the death of the Prophet. Muslims argue that these hadiths were passed down in a proper recorded chain of transmitters that can assure the message hasn't been altered or tampered with. The problem is, that the standard used then was just how reliable was a person's memory and how trustworthy they were, and they did not actually judge the actual content of the hadith. So even if a hadith hypothetically said "Kill all the disbelievers", (which, fyi, it does NOT) and it had a reliable chain of recorders, it would be accepted as "sahih" (trustworthy) hadith, even though it clearly goes against the guidelines of the Quran, where it says there shall be no compulsion in religion (which implies you cannot just murder anyone who refuses to believe/ believes another religion). If one actually examined the content of this imaginary hadith, it would be easy to see it's tampered with by people with or without malicious intent (for eg, it might've actually been "You can kill the disbelievers ONLY if they attack you and will not leave you and your family alone") or some may not even remotely be the words of the Prophet, as he only followed the Quran.

Also, the integrity of the Hadith isn't guaranteed by God anywhere in the Quran. To know more about this, I suggest you read this link , and this one.

So yeah, I take hadith with a (large) grain of salt. So I will not be including them in my discussion obviously.

Now a lot of these hadith have been fabricated, as established, or reflect something that was applicable specifically in that time and setting, seeing that the Prophet was an ordinary man who couldn't predict the future or know about all the different cultures of the world.

So even if the headscarf was a part of Arabian attire, that doesn't mean it has to be assimilated into our cultures now. Just because prostitutes used to pluck all their eyebrows out to signify that they are prostitutes (sex work is forbidden in Islam, because of the negative impact on women and society), doesn't mean that women are not allowed to pluck their eyebrows now.

Following these hadith blindly without considering for a moment that hey, these might be outdated, seeing it isn't meant for all time periods like the Quran, and half of these contradict themselves, maybe we shouldn't consider this as an authority on rules in Islam. Personally, I don't believe anything is forbidden that is mentioned as such solely in the Hadith, and not in the Quran.

But the staunch belief in all of these Hadith leads to micromanaging of women, and literally everyone else. Few ridiculous examples include:

women can't pluck their eyebrows

men can't wear silk or gold, and they need to grow beards

music and dance is forbidden (seriously???)

the Prophet married a literal child of nine years (no do not try to justify it as "it was acceptable back then". According to the Qur'an it wasn't. Girls had to be mature enough to reject or agree to marriages and literal children can't do that. There is plenty of research to prove that Aisha (ra), his wife, was at the very least 19 or 20. Again a case of unreliable and maybe purposefully manipulated Hadith. Scholars and people who uphold the theory that Aisha was 9, and hence, child marriage is legal are pedophiles through and through)

I feel that if anything, hadith should be considered with the authority of historical commentary, giving us more context to the times, and should never be blindly trusted just because a lot of scholars say it is a "sahih" (trusted) hadith.

Also a main feature of Islam is that you don't need an extra priest (no offence to religions who have priests) or a scholar to tell you things and intervene with God for you. You have a holy book, your own common sense and humanity, and you pray to establish a connection with God. Scholars are secondary OPINIONS who can provide insight from their knowledge and research to people who want it, but by no means any authority on things, just like hadith.

2. Arab culture and society, especially back the times that radicals want to emulate, was heavily patriarchal. Islam gave women rights and protection, but they were still limited by the cultural norms of that era.

What these people actually want is to return society to Arabic culture in that time period. (Exhibit A: the abaya/purdah for women and khandoorah for men. exhibit B: sex-segregated spaces)

Back then, women were expected to be caretakers and mothers, and men were expected to be the strong masculine protector.

Enforcing said cultural norms into modern day Islam is ridiculous. Saying that women rarely left the house back then, hence women shouldn't leave their houses now is the same as saying there weren't phones back then, so I shouldn't use one now. Would you ever give up your phones? So how about we do the same to women's autonomy and freedom? Adapt to modern times like regular humans?

If women were meant to stay at home, and meant to just rear children, and never meant to be seen in public, and never meant to be seen by the opposite sex, as extremists say "is God's will", then why is none of this found in the Quran? Do you seriously believe that God, describe multiple times as All-forgiving and generous and kind, would ever persecute women to such a fate? If you do believe that, then maybe you need to re-examine in the nature of God that you believe in. Also if you tell me the "it's for their safety" gimmick, I will flip out. It has been proved multiple times that a woman's dressing has nothing whatsoever to do with why men rape.

Sure, Islam advocates for modesty in dressing, for both sexes. Both are called to not stare rudely (many Muslim men seem to forget that part of the verse, strangely), both are advised to dress in modest, comfortable, clean and practical attire. Never once is anything remotely like "YOU'LL GO TO HELL IF YOU EXPOSE YOUR ELBOW, WOMAN". But the way modern Muslims enforce the dress code (some even going to the lengths of saying women shouldn't wear BRIGHT COLOURED CLOTHES, so as to not attract attention!!! I'm looking at you, Mufti Menk), you'd think that God says something much worse than that. Infact God pulls out Uno reverse, and encourages us to dress as beautifully as we want, especially when visiting the mosque.

3. A lot of English translations of the Quran come from Saudi Arabia. A country famous for its conservative practise of Islam. While the original Arabic text cannot be changed, a lot of these translations include information in parantheses that add "rules" based on the above mentioned factors, that a casual reader or a new Muslim who doesn't know Arabic will consider to be authentic rules of the Quran, extrapolated from the verse, and not extra additions that are often derived from hadith. A very good example of this is the headcover verse, which you can see in this link.

Even all the hostility surrounding homosexual people has been derived from cultural influences and one set of verses. From around 6000 verses, just a single set passingly mention homosexuality. Don't you think that if it truly were such a great sin, God would have explicitly forbidden it? Also why would he create such a natural variation in sexuality and then forbid it? Why isn't it forbidden for animals then? Is all-loving God that cruel to create this natural and healthy attraction in them and then explicitly forbid it when straight people get to marry and live life in bliss? (Please don't say that "God also created pedophilia, and that's natural, so by this logic shouldn't we allow that too?" because pedophilia IS NOT HEALTHY, AT ALL. IT'S IS A DISORDER. Unlike homosexuality) I'm also not picking and choosing things to fit my lifestyle, as some might say, as I am straight, and the only reason I support the LGBT community because I have basic humanity?? And they're humans who deserve rights and joy and freedom and acceptance just like the rest of us.

There have been reformed translations of Quran which examine the verse without prior bias against LGBT people, and they have presented an alternate translation, that the verse condemns sexual assault, which happened to be homosexual in the particular story. Check out this link too, which explains how closely examining the words used could change the meaning from one thing to another.

What I attempted to prove in this extremely long post is that the practise of a religion isn't necessarily the reflection of its true nature.

There are progressive open-minded people who believe in Islam because it gives them hope and solace. People who believe because core beliefs of Islam aligned with their own views and simple logic.

NOT to say there aren't religious bigots who will totally use religion to manipulate people into oppressing themselves or other people. There are, there are a LOT of people like that who call themselves "scholars". And there are a lot of people who follow these extremely harmful regressive version of Islam without critically thinking about what they are following.

I've seen a post discussing the meaning of the word Islam, which means submission to God. It said that it implies total submission, without questioning what we believe.

That is an argument used by both religious extremists to further their beliefs, and by the opposite side, who say the religion is oppressive.

I wish to present a view that Islam itself tells us to think critically, to use our brains to question everything and anything we believe. And then to arrive at our own conclusions. And if you're a decent, kind human, those beliefs maybe align with Islam (not saying that if you're not Muslim, you're horrible, that is not what I meant at all). And if the opinion between people differs, there's always logic and reasoning behind every rule that is presented in the Quran. Don't believe me? Here's the verse that tells people not to blindly follow their parents' religion. And here's a list of verses about critical thinking.

The reason we (atleast reformist Muslims) submit to God is because we questioned it, we came to the conclusion that Hey! This is right. I can submit to my Creator by, who is basically the consciousness that created everything and is the source of all goodness, love and strength, because the rules mentioned here make sense and they privde a moral framework for me to base important desicions on. They feel right. And there is logic behind everything written in this.

I don't mean to present Islam as an all-perfect amazing religion everyone should believe and that I'm right, everyone else, especially those liberal atheists who criticise my religion are wrong and WILL BURN IN HELL. I consider Islam a perfect moral framework, and that's my business only. Anyone can follow what they want and it's none of my business. In fact there is no compulsion in religion at all, and people who say Muslim or go to hell are wrong imo.

What I intended was to paint a picture of reformist Muslims who are still out there, who follow the religion because they questioned it. And not the religion as this stringent rule book we all have to follow down to a t, micromanaging every aspect of our lives and living in perpetual fear of hell, but rather this basic moral guide that teaches us tact, compassion and justice, to bring us closer to God spiritually. I wanted to show that the majority isn't always reflective of what I think is the true core of Islam.

I feel that many practises in the name of Islam are highly questionable and should be criticized, but I also want people to know that the people who seemingly represent the religion, are not representative of the entire mass of believers. That sometimes the practises you might criticize might have nothing to do with the actual religion, atleast according to some of us. It was also for fellow Muslims who might be in the same place I was a few years ago, questioning everything I had learnt was part of my religion.

This is also NOT to undermine struggles of people forced to follow Islam and its seeming requirements like hijab. This is not to claim that nope, every Muslim is fine and ok, and we're all peaceful progressive people. In fact I wish to do the exact opposite, to show that people who enforce oppressive policies in the name of Islam aren't actually backed by the religion and neither should they be backed by other Muslims. I'm also not trying to say no one should criticize Islam. Criticism helps us grow. Criticism is necessary to uncover oppression and eradicate it. So by all means, criticize.

I'm so glad I found the subreddit r/progressive_Islam when I did because it helped me a lot, and opened me to other like-minded progressive Muslims, who actively hope to counter the negative effects of Salafism and conservatism that is overtaking Islam.

So yeah, I think I covered almost everything I wanted to talk about and here's a final link that pretty much just states my position on things.

PS idk why this thingy is in different colours it just seemed cooler and less boring to read

[candycityy]

Hii, Candy! For the Drabble Challenge, 12 and 19 😊

(You can also read this on AO3!)

Newlywed bliss, Levi decides, is sort of like a bubble. Or a vacuum, pick your metaphor.

You get so caught up in the sheer wonder of the whole situation, of shared touches and delirious smiles and and waking up with the love of your life sprawled unglamourously beside you, open-mouthed and drooling and just thoroughly adorable, and your heart swells and you can't think and you forget that the world hasn't stopped spinning on its axis for you and you alone.

In other words, Levi pleads insanity.

So when Petra walks into the drawing room one day with a frozen look on her face, one that's equal parts terror and bewilderment and something else that he can't quite discern, he doesn't know what to think. And then she says it.

"Levi," she says, "I'm pregnant."

Just two words, and his world is upended. He think Petra says something after, but he doesn't hear her; blood roars in his ears, his breath is stuck in his throat, and for the first time in his life, he finds himself shocked into utter silence.

And he realises, that third emotion in her face that he hadn't recognised earlier: it's happiness. A wild, fierce joy, a bewildered and terrified joy, but a joy nonetheless.

His head spins, and he feels, incomprehensibly, the urge to lie down. "Pregnant," he echoes. His voice is hoarse, ragged. "Petra, that's..."

He trails off. He doesn't know what to say. Incredible? Ridiculous? Impossible? Petra seems to recognise the tumult in his thoughts, though, because her expression shifts into a kind of defensive stubborness. As if by instinct, her arms curl over her still-flat abdomen, protective.

"Look," she begins, "I know we hadn't planned on this so early, but if you're thinking of—"

"No," he says. His voice is harsh, decisive, and he takes a small step towards her. "I'm not. Petra, I'm sorry, I was just...surprised. I wouldn't...ask you to hurt it. I would never."

She swallows. Her gaze searching, tentative. "Then...you're okay? You're not mad? Or upset?"

"I don't know how I feel," he says honestly. "I don't know shit about being a parent. Maybe I'll screw it all up, I don't know that either. And I'll be real, this is fucking terrifying." Petra laughs. The sound is like broken glass.

"But," he takes a step towards her, "I know I'll try my damned hardest to protect it. Give it a good life. I mean..." His eyes never move away from her stomach. "It's our baby."

His voice cracks on the two words, and that's all she needs. She almost falls into him, sobbing and laughing all at the same time. "Levi, I'm so scared," she whispers. She sounds dreamy, incredulous; enchanted. "A baby. We made a baby."

Levi's never been sure of anything; his life has been a maze of choice, of possibilities, of maybes and what-ifs. But as he stares down at Petra, her arms still wrapped around her middle, he feels a surge of something fierce and unfamiliar in his chest, something almost painful in its acuteness, and he knows, without a doubt: he would die for this stirring of life that drifts, still blind to the world, in his wife's womb.

==

The first time he tells someone, it's entirely by accident.

They're all hanging out in the lounge, like most nights; they haven't told Erwin, and Petra reckons it's better to wait a little, just in case. Eld and Auruo are bickering away as usual, and somehow, the topic turns to one of their colleagues, who recently put in a request to switch to the Garrison after his wife became pregnant.

"I mean, I get why," Eld says, his lip curling, "I just don't get how. Sitting around on the walls, getting drunk and playing cards all day...I'll never understand."

"Your fiancée might like that, though, wouldn't she," Auruo taunts. The other man rolls his eyes.

"Aria knows I'll never leave the Survey Corps. I plan to live till the ripe old age of seventy and die in a blaze of glory as Supreme Commander, thank you very much."

"Supreme Commander isn't even a title, you ass," Gunther goes from across the room, looking up from his book. "But pregnancy...that's a whole lot of responsibility, isn't it? How do you just go off and risk your life every day, with a kid waiting at home for you?"

Levi's stomach churns suddenly, his dinner threatening to make a reappearance, and his face suddenly feels very hot. He fights to keep his expression carefully blank, but Petra's eyes catch his, narrowing with concern.

"And that's how you ruin a life. Congratulations," Auruo concludes wisely.

"Hey," Petra retorts sharply, "that's not true. Being a dad doesn't mean your life ends, you know. You can still be a soldier, and fight, and everything."

Auruo leers at her. "It's different for you, Pet. Mothers have options...but fathers, they gotta provide for their families, woman. Dying...leaving your wife and kid to fend for themselves...it's not done." Eld and Gunther nod agreement, and Petra makes a face, muttering something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like, 'sexist cows'.

Levi doesn't know what possesses him in that instant. His throat is dry, and he's so lightheaded he feels numb, almost disembodied. He stands up abruptly, and announces, "Petra and I are expecting."

The silence that follows is palpable, thick enough to choke on. He can feel Petra's eyes as Auruo begins to sputter apologies and retractions—"I only meant—but of course, you wouldn't die and leave your kid alone, captain! You're humanity's strongest, after all! You'd never..."

He's still stammering away when Levi turns on his heel without a word, and walks out of the room.

==

The candle in his room has melted into a stump of wax when Petra finds him, later that night.

"Hey," she says softly. She's changed into her nightgown, and her hair, still damp from the showers, tumbles into the hollow of her collarbone. In the dim light of the candle, she looks pale and fragile; hollowed cheekbones, shadowed eyes.

Something deep in his chest wrenches, and he opens his mouth, only to find that no words come out. But she seems to understand his expression; of course she does, she always does.

She walks over to the window, where he stands, staring out of the window, and wraps her arms around his back. They're so nearly the same height that it's a comfortable position for them, her face pressed into his shoulder, her hair brushing the curve of his cheek. They stay there for a few moments in a comfortable silence, just relishing in the wordless companionship.

Petra isn't a patient person by nature. But by now, she knows him; knows how the thoughts whirl insistently in his mind at the height of his emotion, unwilling to settle into the dust. So she waits, her warm breath reassuring on his neck, her heartbeat strong against his back.

He finally exhales. "Do you think they were right?" he asks. The words sound unnaturally loud in the silence of the night. When she doesn't reply immediately, he goes on, "I could...you know. I could join the Garrison, too, or the Military Police. Or leave the military. I could do other things. Erwin would understand, he'd help—"

"No." The word cuts through the room. Gently but firmly, Petra turns him around to face her. The moonlight casts her in silver, turning her into something luminous, ethereal—almost otherworldly.

"Levi, I love you more than anything in this stupid world." Her expression is fierce, intent. "And I won't let you do that. You belong here, in the Survey Corps. And I do, too."

"But just say—"

"I'm not fragile, Levi," she shoots back, her eyes burning with a familiar fire. "Sure, maybe I'm not strong the way you are, but I'm strong enough. I'm not saying I'd be okay if you died—of course I wouldn't—but I'd survive, and I'd keep our child alive, too. And I believe you'd do the same."

Something breaks in him, then, like the shattering of a glass, and he looks up. Petra is glaring at him with those burning eyes, and in that moment, she's so alive and beautiful, the love of his life, the mother of his unborn child. The realisation makes him stagger. He's never felt so complete; he's never had so much to lose.

Feeling as though the weight of the world sits on his shoulders, he nods.

Petra's answering smile is a promise, golden and honeyed and full of light. She draws him in tighter.

"Trust me," she whispers. Her presence is warm, solid, comforting. "Everything will be all right."

Drabble challenge!

[commentaryvorg]

Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 31 - Showdown Between Geniuses: Thomas Vs Nanami!

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Ikuto Noguchi ~ Keenan Crier

ElDoradimon ~ ElDradimon

Baromon ~ Baronmon

Igamon ~ Ninjamon

Gizmon ~ Gizumon

BioLotusmon ~ BioRotosmon

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

Before we get into this episode itself, I again want to talk about the preview for this episode that we saw at the end of the dub’s episode 30. It only contained like one shot of Nanami, with none of her lines and no indication that this episode is especially focused around her; most of it was about the bits with Marcus and Thomas arguing strategy. Like with the preview for episode 17, this strikes me as frustratingly sexist. Can’t possibly make the viewers think the next episode might focus on a girl, nobody’d want that.

Recap Marcus: “Hopefully I can make [my dad] proud ten years later by saving them from Kurata! It’s fightin’ time!”

Marcus is doing the recap! Probably so that he can make this comment about his dad (though really Marcus doing it should be the default and there shouldn’t need to be a special reason for it like this grumble grumble).

Gaomon:  “It was Master who came up with the strategy!”

Tohma:  “A saviour…”

~~~~~

Gaomon: “Why’s he giving Marcus the credit when it’s your plan?”

Thomas:  “He’s the legend’s son.”

Thomas is a bit more matter-of-factly answering Gaomon’s question instead of seeming more distantly wrapped up in his thoughts about this whole saviour thing. (As if the viewers needed to have the reason why explained to them because they couldn’t figure it out themselves.)

Kurata: “He’s pretty much the genius of the group.”

Calling Thomas the genius “of the group” only states that he’s noticeably tactically smarter than Marcus (not difficult) or Yoshi, which is not quite the same thing as him being a literal genius by anybody’s standards. That in itself shouldn’t be enough to pique Nanami’s interest… though of course she could still have figured out Thomas is a literal genius by herself anyway.

Ivan:  “Garbage… must be properly disposed of. Those are the rules. If you liken those guys to garbage, then I just made a good pun. But you’ll never hear that coming from me.”

~~~~~

Ivan: “Trash must be disposed of properly. See, if everyone followed the rules like me, we’d be winning! But I’d never say we were losing out loud.”

But… they’re not losing? They may have lost the fight in episode 29, but their position in this current battle for ElDradimon is perfectly favourable, and the fighting hasn’t even really begun yet. It boggles me that the dub writers decided to remove a metaphor from the original when Ivan actually explained that it was a metaphor, so there’s no way it could have gone over their heads.

Igamon:  “I saw humans there too. This man is their leader.”

~~~~~

Ninjamon:  “I described their leader to a sketch artist. This is what he drew.”

The implication originally was that the Igamon himself did the, uh, “sketch”, but apparently in the dub, Digimon have professional sketch artists (who are absolutely terrible at it and yet still get given work)?

Igamon:  “The saviour’s face is marked with sweat!”

Baromon:  “Is the enemy that formidable?!”

~~~~~

Ninjamon: “Uhh, maybe his eyes were blue, not brown?”

Baronmon: “Anyone you know fit that description?”

The joke of Igamon and Baromon seeming to genuinely believe the sketch is good enough to strike fear in their saviour’s heart is changed to a different joke that doesn’t work as well. The sketch doesn’t even have colour for the eyes; surely Ninjamon can tell at least that much, even if his artistic judgement thinks it’s a decent drawing.

Baromon:  “As of now, we have an announcement from our saviour.”

~~~~~

Baronmon: “Our legend’s son is going to deliver a message for us!”

Tiny thing, but in the original, Baromon had slipped into simply calling Masaru the “saviour” himself, whereas here he’s still calling him “the legend’s son”.

Yoshi: “Don’t mess up, Mr. Legend’s Son.”

Yoshi’s tone with those last words sounds a tiny bit bitter, like she’s annoyed that Marcus is getting all the glory. Yoshino didn’t sound like that in her equivalent line.

Baromon:  “What? We’re making the first move?”

~~~~~

Baronmon: “Alright! We’re with you!”

The crowd’s initial response to Marcus’s announcement (identical to Masaru’s) of “we’re going to go and fight them” is the same kind of unenthused mumbling, but Baronmon is completely on board with it where Baromon in the original wasn’t at first.

Falcomon’s one line in this episode didn’t hit me like a brick for once, perhaps because it’s only one line and so it’s been longer than usual since I’ve heard much of what Falcomon’s meant to sound like. It’s still a bad voice for him though, regular reminder.

Ikuto:  “We’ll end this fight quickly!”

~~~~~

Keenan: “Revenge time! Who’s with me?!”

Keenan’s making this very fervently about revenge, while Ikuto isn’t so much, surprisingly enough. Ikuto is going to gradually slip out of being so fixated on revenge in particular, and perhaps that’s already begun to happen here, but not in the dub, apparently.

Tohma:  “He must be intentionally using his camp as bait, in order to force us to divide up our troops.”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “He wants us to get our troops out of the perfect position that we’re in!”

This is the only part of Tohma’s argument that’s slightly different. Surely if the main point is about this perfect position, then it’s okay for some troops (namely Marcus and Keenan and their partners) to head off to attack Kurata? Thomas doesn’t seem to be worried so much about their troops being divided and therefore losing strength.

Though maybe there’s also something to be said for Thomas making a point of this perfect position, the position he thought up with his very great strategy that he wishes he was getting more credit for dammit.

Tohma:  “He’s waiting for us to make our move!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Right now he can’t get to us if we stay where we are!”

He… totally can, though? The Gizumon can fly? The point is that Kurata’s forces can’t approach without being noticed while the city’s in this position; doesn’t mean they can’t attack anyway. Makes me think the earlier line was also changed because the dub writers had this erroneous impression; it’d explain why Thomas wasn’t worried about dividing up the troops needed to defend them if he doesn’t think they need any troops to defend them like this at all.

Masaru:  “Then we’ll just go ourselves! You don’t have a problem with that, right?”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Then we’ll attack by ourselves! No-one says *you* have to go!”

Ugh, as usual, Marcus is being more argumentative about this, like he’s getting one up over Thomas, rather than Masaru’s genuine acknowledgement of the fact that they can both take their own individual approaches to this without issue.

Masaru:  “A good offence is the best defence! I’m going to kick Kurata’s ass and that’s that!”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “A good defence is a good offence! I say we attack and that’s that!”

Marcus’s tone is again being far more loud and argumentative. Plus, the altered phrasing of his second sentence – “we” attack, not just that he’s personally going to – makes it sound like he’s still trying to get one over on Thomas. Like he wants his approach to override Thomas’s strategy entirely and doesn’t think the two can co-exist (and the previous line I quoted was him thinking Thomas can just go sit out the assault in a sulk if he doesn’t agree).

Masaru:  “So take care of defending this place for me until then, Tohma!”

Tohma:  “You don’t need to tell me that.”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “So take care of this place for me ‘til I come back, okay?”

Thomas: “*If* you come back.”

Instead of the fun subtle line suggesting Tohma might be thinking “stop telling me what to do like you’re stealing all my credit and I can’t do it by myself”, we just get Thomas… being much less subtly kind of a dick, implying he thinks Marcus is going to get himself killed in his reckless idiocy.

Tohma:  “I can’t believe that reckless guy is considered a saviour.”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “I can’t believe these people would willingly follow that reckless fool.”

Thomas’s words – and intonation – put more emphasis on the “fool” part, again being more of a dick. He’s also lingering less on the saviour/legend thing here by not bringing up that that’s the reason why all these people are blindly following him.

Yoshino:  “I think the reason why Masaru continues to take such risks is because he trusts you, Tohma.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Marcus doesn’t mind taking risks, because he knows if he screws up, Thomas has his back.”

I’m a little sad about her not outright saying Marcus trusts Thomas, though “has his back” does pretty much mean the same thing. It’s also a little different that Yoshi’s saying Marcus will only need Thomas to have his back if he screws up. Masaru knows Tohma has his back and can hold down the fort here anyway, head-on reckless assault going badly or not! (After all, it’s not like Masaru is one for consciously acknowledging that his reckless charging in could ever possibly not work.)

Still, I’m glad this line is basically intact. What with the greater Marcus Is A Jerk going on in the rest of this argument, I would be worried that the writers wanted to entirely remove any sense that Marcus trusted Thomas’s approaches, but at least that bit is still here, albeit a tiny bit harder to believe, sigh.

Gaomon: “Gizumon-XT, 12 o’clock.”

Those ones approaching right now are Gizumon-AT, actually. Apparently the dub writers weren’t really paying that much attention to which one’s which.

Tohma:  “Thank goodness. It appears…”

Nanami:  “Nothing’s happened to it yet, hmm?”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “No signs of an attack yet, but when they do, we’ll be ready.”

Nanami: “You sure about that?”

We lose Nanami finishing Tohma’s sentence as an early indication of the way she can predict everything he’s planning, in place of just some generic villain banter.

Nanami: “Like you said, if the waterfall is destroyed, the lake water will wash away ElDradimon.”

That’s… not what’s going to happen when the waterfall gets destroyed. Unsurprisingly, the dub writers have not watched ahead to the next episode in which we see why the lake draining is a bad thing. They apparently also haven’t even watched ahead to the end of this one, in which the water drains away without enough force to affect ElDradimon in any significant way.

Nanami:  “And so, you will come here to protect it.”

~~~~~

Nanami:  “…I knew you would come alone to the one location that needs the most protecting.”

Interesting how Nanami in the dub specifies that she knew he’d come alone. The optimal strategy is definitely not to come alone, but rather to bring a sizeable amount of troops; you’d think she’d know that. So is this her predicting Tohma’s issues about not relying on anyone? Would Nanami herself also make a point of coming alone if she were in his situation? Potentially! Though I don’t think I trust the dub to be making this implication deliberately.

Tohma:  “You were able to predict everything?”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Well, I guess you have it all figured out!”

Thomas’s tone is just an exasperated, “fine, you’re smart, no need to monologue at me”, rather than being caught off-guard that his brilliant strategies have been seen through so easily.

Nanami:  “Anyone could see it, if they just gave it some thought.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Oh, any general with a little common sense could see it.”

The fact that dub-Nanami makes it “any general”, and not just anyone at all loses a little bit of the nuance here. She’s implying she wouldn’t necessarily think it was so obvious for someone who wasn’t a general and didn’t have a head for war strategy. Nanami in the original is so caught up in her genius worldview that she feels like this kind of thing should be obvious to anyone.

Nanami:  “Wouldn’t you agree, Doctor Tohma Norstein?”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Don’t you think? General Thomas Norstein?”

Weird that she makes such a point of Thomas being a general here, when that’s only a role he’s taking on temporarily right now. (And she herself isn’t even the general of her own side; that’s Kurata.) Stressing the doctor thing instead is her making a point of him being a genius, thus drawing a comparison with her (even though as far as we know she’s not a doctor herself).

Nanami:  “I wonder for how long… you will entertain me!”

~~~~~

Nanami: “It’ll be an interesting challenge to see if I can outwit you.”

Nanami in the dub apparently isn’t even sure if she can outwit Thomas. In the original, the fact that she didn’t even bring that notion up, coupled with the idea that she didn’t even necessarily expect him to entertain her for long implied that despite his genius status, she still felt above him and like her outsmarting him sooner or later was always a given.

Nanami:  “Nothing that moves within your heart is left unseen to me. Nothing at all.”

~~~~~

Nanami:  “To be honest, sometimes having all the answers gets kind of boring. It’s a curse.”

She brings this boredom part up earlier than in the original, in place of some of that insistence that she definitely knows everything Tohma’s thinking.

Sometimes is a hell of an understatement for Nanami, whose whole thing is being so bored out of her mind she’s willing to participate in a genocide for some fun. The way she says “It’s a curse” is even kind of playful, like she isn’t actually upset by this, which shouldn’t be the case, so either the dub doesn’t quite get it or she’s very good at masking it. (Guess which one my money’s on.)

Nanami’s southern belle accent in general makes her sound kind of weirdly more like an innocently oblivious child than a ruthlessly cold genius in some of these lines about “why are you even opposing a genocide”.

Nanami:  “The Digimon’s existence won’t bring you any worth.”

~~~~~

Nanami:  “It isn’t like Digimon *do* anything for you.”

The way she’s phrasing things also kinda sounds a bit less articulated and more childlike. Though the reason I quoted this line was primarily to point out that she didn’t bring up the concept of “worth” in the dub, which was something I suspected might have hit a Norstein-related nerve with Tohma in the original.

Tohma:  “They can connect emotionally with us humans!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “They connect with us internally on an emotional level!”

That’s a weirdly clinical way for Thomas to describe bonding with Digimon. Though for all I know he may have sounded similarly stilted about this in the original Japanese and the subbers just smoothed it over a bit. It isn’t necessarily out of character for Tohma to have such a detached and clinical way to describe emotional bonding.

Tohma:  “Making those friends… those comrades of ours suffer is what I can’t allow Kurata to get away with!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “And you? Why do you side with Kurata when he makes the innocent suffer so much?!”

Thomas is jumping the gun a bit by asking her why she sides with Kurata this early in the conversation; that part isn’t supposed to come until later. I mean, I guess it’s fair enough that he might want to bring that up right now, but the original writers chose to save it for later on to give that moment some particular emphasis.

Nanami: “What are you? Some sort of ‘defender of justice’?”

(For the record, Nanami completely dodges the question for now and continues along the same track as she did originally. Though since Thomas was asking her a question rather than stating his own disgust at the suffering of Digimon, he was being somewhat less justice-y than in the original.)

Her tone of voice as she’s telling Thomas that he’s totally doing all this just to feel superior (which is basically unchanged) sounds a lot more like she’s mocking him for it, rather than the kind of cold, forceful, matter-of-fact way she said it originally. I don’t think the mocking tone works as well for the fact that she’s only really saying this because she’s projecting her own nature onto him.

Nanami:  “What a boring attack.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Are you through being silly?”

This is to Gaomon, as he charges recklessly at her to defend his master’s honour. Calling him “silly” really doesn’t feel like the right put-down here.

Nanami:  “Tohma… I understand your loneliness.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Look, I understand. You’re lonely.”

Slightly less nuance here in the dub. Dub-Nanami’s only saying “I know that you’re lonely”, whereas original-Nanami was taking it as a given that he was lonely from the start and is saying she understands the way in which he’s lonely.

…But really, that’s a very minor nitpick and the rest of her projecting-loneliness speech to him is very similar and gives the same effect overall.

Thomas: “You still haven’t answered my question. Why are you siding with Kurata?”

At least the dub remembered that they changed an earlier bit to have this not be the first time Thomas asked her that. I was not 100% convinced they’d remember to allude to that.

Nanami:  “Hunting for Digimon is just another way of passing the time.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Hunting Digimon just happens to be an enjoyable hobby I like to dabble in.”

Other than her weirdly casual phrasing about this in the dub (even if she’s doing this to relieve boredom, would one really call it a hobby?), her wording also kind of implies that… this isn’t the first time she’s been hunting Digimon for fun? If it’s a “hobby”, then it implies it’s something she does regularly instead of something she’s only doing right now because the opportunity happened to arise. Pretty damn sure that’s not supposed to be the case.

Nanami:  “Now, come with me.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Why? Why do you fight your true feelings?”

The dub added some more projection than there was here in the original, with Nanami insisting that obviously Thomas’s true feelings are him wanting to partner up with her as a fellow genius. Nice.

Tohma:  “I refuse. I have a duty to protect the Holy Capital.”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “No thanks. I want to use my genius to help Digimon, not destroy them.”

Bah, I’m sad at the loss of the bit where Tohma insists on making this about duty when he didn’t have to.

Nanami:  “Even though you’re a genius… you’re a stubborn blockhead.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Funny – for a genius, you’re a fool.”

“Stubborn blockhead” provides a nice little parallel to Masaru, somewhat more so than “fool” does – though the dub going with the latter may be down to lip-flap constraints.

Nanami:  “Evolution isn’t your special privilege.”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Last time was different. I’m much stronger than I was before.”

This is a lot plainer in the dub, just generic villain gloating about strength, rather than Nanami being subtly bitter than someone else could dare to think he’s more special than her.

Nanami: “Bio-Hybrid DNA Full Charge!”

That’s apparently their new evolution call in the dub, though since it matches with the regular DNA Full Charge, you’d think it’d herald them going to dub-Ultimate (aka Perfect), rather than Mega level.

Why in the world was BioLotusmon romanised to BioRotosmon, seriously. It is very obviously supposed to be “lotus”, come on.

Digimon Analyser BioRotosmon: “What took you and your Digimon months to achieve, Kurata did in one night!”

I mean… it didn’t take them months? It took them a day of punching training dummies in a dojo, pretty much. (Okay, the training dummies weren’t really the reason, but point is it only took a day.)

BioRotosmon’s design is edited just a little in the dub to not have bare thigh and what could be interpreted as underwear. At least the dub consistently makes an effort with this actually-good kind of anti-fanservice editing. In an ideal world, they wouldn’t have to, but, sigh.

Yep, this is one of those times where the evolution music is really just a fanfare for evolution rather than a triumphant theme of victory, because there’s like five minutes or so of episode between the evolution and MirageGaogamon actually winning.

BioLotusmon:  “I can read all of your movements!”

~~~~~

BioRotosmon: “I’m so fast I make a rocket look slow!”

Not only is that a silly cheesy simile that I can’t imagine a genius like Nanami making, it’s also distracting from what should be the point here. It’s not that she’s significantly faster than MirageGaogamon, but that she can predict exactly how he’s going to move.

BioLotusmon/Nanami: “Tohma… Come with me.”

~~~~~

BioRotosmon/Nanami: “Thomas… Please, reconsider.”

Her outright asking him to reconsider shows that she’s acknowledged his initial refusal. I don’t feel like that’s something Nanami would actually do, given all of her projection onto him like this is totally what he obviously wants.

The booby snakes have also been edited to have a lot more of their bosoms covered, and again, I approve.

Nanami:  “I will be able to understand you.”

~~~~~

Nanami:  “Only someone like me can appreciate and unlock the real you.”

Kinda like the added nuance here, that she’s insisting there’s a real Thomas inside there somewhere that he’s suppressing because of these idiots, and she’ll be able to bring it out. (Clearly, this “real Thomas” is the one who actually wants to be with her, and that explains why he keeps refusing on the surface, because it’s totally not really him, right.)

Tohma:  “I… I am not that self-conceited!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “No… I’m not an egomaniac like you are!”

I prefer the original line here, not because of any significant difference between “self-conceited” and “egomaniac”, but because of the phrasing around it. Thomas is only saying, “I’m not as egotistical as you”, whereas Tohma is saying, “I’m not as conceited as you think I am”, which is a lot more impactful, because he’s essentially shooting down his own subconscious worries that Nanami might be right about him.

Tohma:  “There’s a source of power in this world that even I can’t calculate!”

Nanami:  “Daimon Masaru, is it?”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “I realise you have to rely on your friends if you hope to achieve real power!”

Nanami: “Friends like Marcus Damon?”

Instead of making the interesting point that Masaru’s approaches are unpredictable to somebody who uses optimal calculated strategies, we lose that entirely for some generic stuff about friendship. And this is despite the fact that Tohma’s not supposed to be openly okay with the idea that he relies on others, even if they are his friends.

Nanami:  “So you rely on something like him.”

Tohma:  “Rely on him? Me?”

~~~~~

Nanami:  “So those are the type of fools you rely on.”

Thomas: “They’re friends. Not fools.”

Yep, because we traded the point about Masaru’s unpredictability for some generic Thomas waxing lyrical about friendship, we also lost the part where Tohma was subtly uncomfortable at the suggestion that he’s relying on them. Thomas is completely okay with that, apparently. Who knows why he felt the need to come to defend the waterfall on his own in this version of the story.

Nanami:  “There’s no such thing as something beyond calculation. That’s just an excuse. If you continue to stay content living with fools, you’ll only neglect improving yourself!”

~~~~~

Nanami: “You might think they’re your friends, but you don’t need them. They need *you*. They keep holding you back, dead weight, always needing your help to save them, and preventing you from reaching your full potential.”

This continues the “friends” point, but then manages to shift it into something similar to the direction the original lines went in here. However, because Nanami’s being a lot more specific about the friends thing here in the dub, and because she’s been projecting her own issues onto him this entire time, it kind of ends up reading like she’s the one who used to have friends who constantly needed her, whom she eventually got rid of as “dead weight”. That would potentially be interesting, but I doubt the dub made this implication on purpose.

Nanami:  “Throw away your worthless friends and your insignificant self-satisfaction!”

~~~~~

Nanami: “Forget about those pathetic charity cases and come with me!”

Yeah, the “charity cases” comment really reads like projection here. I still am not convinced it’s intentional, though.

She’s also not telling him to throw away his “self-satisfaction”, which had some neat nuance of her thinking that Tohma being humble and accepting he doesn’t know everything is the kind of “self-satisfaction” she can’t stand, despite insisting he should be lording it over the idiots with his genius.

As all the trippy snake-Nanami’s murmur “Thomas” over and over, the fact that there’s an S in his dub name is convenient, because she can emphasise that to make it sound a bit like the hissing of snakes. Neat.

Ikuto:  “What’s more, they keep showing up the same way like all the others!”

~~~~~

Keenan: “Hey, wait! If that was last Gizumon-XT, then what that?”

Alas, the dub did not keep the line where Ikuto commented on the repeated animation.

…Why is the dub using its BanchoLeomon music as we resume the fight between MirageGaogamon and BioRotosmon? Like, this BGM has a very distinct bancho-y sort of sound to it and has until now only been used for BanchoLeomon’s scenes. It feels very weird and out of place here.

MirageGaogamon: “Master, she can predict all of my movements. Please guide me through your orders.”

~~~~~

MirageGaogamon: “Sir, she can predict my every move. Plus, she’s faster than I am.”

Except the dub never had her mention earlier that she was predicting his moves, at least not as MirageGaogamon.

Also, I find it rather cheap that the dub’s making it explicit that she is significantly faster than him. If that’s the case, then her advantage isn’t about her intellect at all, but rather because Kurata happened to make her physically better than MirageGaogamon in the first place. That’s not Nanami’s advantage.

BioRotosmon:  “Is this the attack plan of a genius? I’ve never seen anything so predictable!”

At least they are finally having her make a point that his strategies are predictable here.

BioRotosmon: “Better, but still slow.”

Less fond of this; the point should not be that he’s slower than her, damn it!

MirageGaogamon: “Master, your orders!”

Tohma:  “Okay!”

[BioLotusmon attacks MirageGaogamon again]

MirageGaogamon: “Your orders…!”

[and again]

MirageGaogamon: “Master, your orders!”

[and again]

~~~~~

MirageGaogamon: “Sir, we need a new plan!”

Thomas: “I’ll try!”

[BioRotosmon attacks MirageGaogamon again]

MirageGaogamon: “Hurry, sir!”

[and again]

MirageGaogamon: “I can’t hold on much longer!”

[and again]

In the original version of this scene, the impression I got was that it was a quick-cut montage of all of their failed strategies, skipping over Tohma giving and MirageGaogamon carrying out the actual orders (because they were always doomed to fail) and just showing how determined MirageGaogamon is to keep believing in his master’s plans despite getting hurt because of them over and over.

But it doesn’t seem like the dub writers read it that way, because the lines they give MirageGaogamon have him very clearly not receive any orders in between each line. So in the dub, this isn’t a montage, this is just BioRotosmon mercilessly whaling on MirageGaogamon while Thomas panics and fails to come up with any kind of new attack strategy at all, having apparently exhausted the whole two of them he’d had prepared in the moments prior to this. Even if Thomas had come up with something, I’d be surprised if MirageGaogamon was capable of pulling it off in the midst of being beaten up.

I don’t think the dub’s version of the scene is as meaningful; again, it’s turning the problem into BioRotosmon simply being stronger (and Thomas losing his nerve when it counts), rather than Nanami being able to see through every single strategy Tohma comes up with (and MirageGaogamon being such a good loyal dog despite that).

Thomas:  “My strategies aren’t working! She’s so fast that she anticipates everything we try and beats us to the punch!”

Thomas, that is not the problem that just got MirageGaogamon beaten up; the problem just now is that you didn’t even come up with a strategy at all. Also, again, this doesn’t need to be about her being fast, stop making the problem something that isn’t one of Nanami’s qualities.

Tohma:  (She’s predicting all of my calculations. What the hell should I…?)

~~~~~

Thomas: (She’s got me right where she wants me. I can’t believe I’m beaten!)

Thomas’s thought in the dub sounds like it could be referring to the fact that she just made an ultimatum to not destroy the waterfall if he joins her. The dub is still making this significantly less about her being able to predict him, which is still supposed to be the point and the reason why this reckless approach he’s about to use is going to work!

BioLotusmon: “What are you doing on top of his shoulder? Are you *trying* to get hurt?”

Yes, actually! I’m amused that she happens to literally describe his plan in the dub, while thinking it ridiculous. (Though really Thomas still doesn’t need to be getting hurt in this, but shush, shounen spirit.)

Also. Also. Guess what music gets used for Thomas’s victorious reckless charge? It’s Probably Marcus’s Theme, just like I hoped it would be! Man, that hits a bit harder if you’ve noticed it’s probably Marcus’s theme.

BioLotusmon: “Just what sort of calculations did you use?!”

Tohma:  “None. I just thought that if we got close enough to attack at point-blank range, we’d be able to pull it off.”

~~~~~

BioRotosmon: “How did you possibly know that would work…?”

Thomas:  “I didn’t. I just thought that if we got into point-blank range, we’d be able to pull it off.”

Thomas basically just said, “I didn’t know that it would work, I just figured it would work.” Kinda contradicting himself a bit there? Which is, of course, a result of the dub being really insistent about watering down the part where Masaru’s reckless strategies defy the sort of calculations and prediction that Tohma and Nanami usually rely on.

Kurata:  “If this keeps up, you [Kouki] may not get your turn.”

~~~~~

Kurata: “Tell [the Gizumon-XT] to back off so that Kouki can get his shot at revenge.”

…Except, in the next episode, Marcus and Keenan will still be fighting their way through some Gizumon-XT before reaching Kouki at the camp. I guess apparently that goon of Kurata’s decided not to follow that order? It’s honestly weird that Kurata cares so much about indulging Kouki’s desire for petty vengeance that he’s willing to risk giving Marcus an advantage.

Nanami:  “I… I haven’t lost to you… Because… What you used was… Daimon Masaru’s power…”

~~~~~

Nanami:  “I accept defeat because I did not lose to you, Thomas H. Norstein. I lost… I lost to something else… I lost to Marcus Damon’s… power…”

Weird that she’s nonetheless willing to explicitly accept defeat of any kind. Nanami’s line in the original came across a lot like she was using this as an excuse to not accept defeat at all.

Tohma:  “Masaru’s… power?”

Gaomon:  “Master…”

Tohma:  “Why… do I feel so irritated?”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Marcus’s… power?”

Gaomon: “But how?”

Thomas:  “I don’t know… What did she mean by that?”

Oh no, what a huge freaking mystery! It’s not like you won by using the exact kind of reckless strategy Marcus would use or anything! It’s not like you, a genius who is also very familiar with Marcus, would have perfectly well known that the second you hit upon such a way to win!

I don’t think this can even be reasonably read as denial, because the fact that he won using a Marcus-like strategy is so goddamn obvious that there’s no way Thomas would be able to lie to himself about that for a second. (Gaomon is also confused by it somehow, and he wouldn’t be lying to himself about it!)

The thing Tohma ends up confused by here in the original is why it bothers him so much that he used Masaru’s power to win, because the fact that he did so is already unquestionably apparent, and the fact that this gets to him is the interesting part. But somehow the dub decided that, no, we can’t focus on Thomas’s inferiority complex brought out by Marcus and his unwillingness to rely on anyone else (we sure lost any sense of the latter in some earlier bits), so instead, let’s just boringly and nonsensically insist it’s a huge mysterious mystery as to what Nanami even meant by him winning through Marcus’s power. What the actual hell.

Overall differences

Well, this isn’t as bad as it could be, since this is mostly a Thomas-focused episode and the dub’s generally decent at him, but.

Naturally Marcus is more of a jerk in the strategy meeting, sounding like he wants to override Thomas’s strategy rather than do both at once. The dubbers also seem not to get the point of Tohma’s strategy in the first place; they appear to think the lake means that nothing can approach at all (blatantly incorrect), and that destroying the waterfall is bad because it’ll wash ElDradimon away (also incorrect, please watch ahead literally one episode).

Nanami herself is reasonably intact, thankfully; there’s some minor losses of nuance and her weird southern belle voice doesn’t entirely help, but there’s also a couple of gains of nuance and the overall point is pretty much the same.

Where we do lose the original point is when things come onto the topic of Marcus, surprise surprise. The dub entirely removes the point about how Masaru’s strength in Tohma’s eyes is his sheer unpredictability and non-adherence to logical calculations. Instead, Thomas just waxes lyrical about friendship and seems okay with the idea of relying on Marcus, which Tohma very pointedly did not even as he acknowledged Masaru’s strengths.

In the battle, the notion that Nanami can predict all of Tohma’s optimal strategies is not entirely lost, but it’s significantly watered down in favour of BioRotosmon simply being faster and stronger than MirageGaogamon, which is a much less meaningful or interesting advantage for her to have. Thanks to this, Thomas’s victory by doing a reckless Marcus-like approach has less impact – so again, there’s less highlighting that Masaru’s unpredictability can be a good thing.

These changes to the Masaru topic also mean that the episode has to end on a bizarre final note of Thomas wondering what Nanami even meant when she said he won using Marcus’s power (which should be obvious), rather than him being bothered by the fact that he won that way for reasons he doesn’t quite consciously understand.

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope - part 2

Not much really happens here, but they both had a lot to say, and I miss Aaron and Vic so I went with it. I promise Robert will actually appear in the next part!

It's dark when they arrive, the ferry being delayed and Aaron's tired of being in the car. Harry's been screaming for the past twenty minutes while they'd driven to the hotel and all he wanted was a shower and bed. He needed time to work out what he was going to do the next morning.

"We've got a bit of a problem." Vic comes back to the car, a set of keys in her hand. "There's only one room."

"Are you kidding? I told you we should've called when we stopped at the services."

"Alright know-it-all. How was I to know that the sodding Isle of Wight turns into holiday central? Anyway, there's a sofa in the room, and a double bed."

"Fantastic."

By the time they're inside he's in a foul mood and there isn't even a bar where he can drown his sorrows for a while.

"If you're just going to complain all the time, why did you come with me?"

"Vic, just leave it. I'm tired, that's all. I don't know what I'm doing here." Despite his words he gets down on the floor with Harry, smiling as the little boy passes him one of his blocks. "Thanks buddy."

"You're here because you're a good friend, and because deep down you want to see him because you still love him, even if you want to smack him for being so damn stubborn."

"What if...what if you're wrong? What if he did mean it, was just waiting for the chance to be rid of me. I ruined his marriage, I outed him to Chrissie...what if...what if he hates that I didn't support him with Lee, that I kept nagging him."

"Aaron you're talking rubbish. Robert loves you. Do you honestly think my big lump of a brother would've hung around in Emmerdale after everything if he hadn't loved you."

"You were there."

"As much as I know he loves me, I wasn't enough to keep him there. Do I have to remind you of every stupid thing he did when the two of you broke up? How many times you pushed him away and yet he still hung around because he couldn't bear to be without you? As for Lee, you were being sensible when he couldn't see how to. You're being daft, and you know you are. You're just trying to put barriers in the way and convince yourself of something so you don't have to face him."

"I hate you." He knows she's right, but that little voice kept nagging in the back of his head, maybe it always would. He could never rid himself of it, had done his best to ignore it but as soon as Robert wasn't around back it came.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going to take a shower. Can you keep an eye on him?"

"Clear off, me and Harry have manly things to talk about."

"Sexist."

"Pest. Go on, we'll be fine." He smiles as she goes, he's missed her. There'd been a gulf between them ever since Robert's sentencing, made worse by the Posner family hanging around. Maybe now they could get back to being friends. "Your Mummy is silly isn't she, eh?"

He picks the little boy up, holding him close. He's barely spent any time with him, it'd been so hard seeing him when he was first born, too much after losing Robert. It wasn't his fault though and he resolved to be a better uncle, if Robert couldn't be.

"So, you're going to meet Uncle Robert tomorrow, eh? He's pretty great you know, even if he does get himself into some messes. I know he's not been around and he'll just be this stranger, but he loves you already, and maybe if we're really lucky he'll be home soon, and then you'll see just how great he is, and maybe you can meet your cousin Seb too."

He swipes away a tear, thinking about Seb. He wonders how big he's grown, what he likes doing, whether he still hates peas. He wishes he'd fought harder, had tried to make Rebecca see sense, that cutting him off too was going to confuse him even more. He wonders if he even remembers Aaron at all, let alone Robert.

"Mama?"

"She's in the shower. You're stuck with me." He lifts him into his lap, letting him lean into his chest, nearly asleep. "What am I going to do, eh?" He checks his phone again, only a missed call from his Mum which he ignores. He knows what she'll want so there's no point answering. There's nothing from Ben and he's not sure whether to be relieved or hurt.

He doesn't sleep much, the sofa in the room is far from comfortable, and he ends up on his phone as dawn breaks. He still hasn't decided if he wants to go with Vic. It's not that he doesn't want to see Robert, of course he does, but he's tried so hard over the past year and a half to move on, he doesn't know if he can cope with seeing him.

He's about to get up when Vic suddenly dashes from the bed into the bathroom.

"Vic? You alright?" He knocks on the bathroom door gently. He doesn't hear anything until she opens the door looking as white as a sheet. "What's up?"

"It must be something I ate, maybe that sarnie on the ferry. I feel awful."

"Get back into bed, I'll make you some tea or something."

"You're going to hate me." She tells him a few hours later, when she wakes up, still looking pale.

"Doubt it." He gets back onto the floor to play with Harry.

"I don't think I can go to the prison, not like this. You're going to have to go." He looks up, half wondering if she's planned this. If she didn't look so awful he'd believe she had.

"What? I can't."

"You have to. He's expecting me. Do you really want him thinking I changed my mind? Thinking he's all alone?" She's right, it'd crush Robert. It'd taken so long for him to agree to see anyone, if no one turned up then he guessed Robert would never agree again. "Please. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't have to."

"Fine. What about Harry?"

"Can you take him? I need to sleep, and besides I want Rob to meet him."

"You owe me, you know that don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. Have you heard from Ben?"

"No."

"He'll come round, when you explain." He shrugged. "You like him, don't you?"

"Yeah. He's been great with Liv and everything."

"What about you? Just being there for Liv isn't enough is it? I know that...well me and Luke, it wasn't like me and Adam, but I still...I loved him."

"What's your point?"

"That he likely won't live up to Rob, just like Luke wasn't Adam, but if you like him, if you think you can love him then you should try...but if you're just with him because you're lonely, or because you think it's good for Liv then is it a good idea for either of you?"

"So...if no one will live up to him, I should just be on my own?"

"No. Look, if he wasn't in prison, you'd still be together right?" He nods because of course they would. "All I'm saying is make sure whoever you are with, you're with them for the right reasons. I feel for Liv with everything going on, but he can be there for her, and you as a friend, if that's all you think it'll be. Don't force it. just because you think you should." She smiles a little. "And if you still want him, then make sure you tell my stupid, stubborn brother that he's an idiot for cutting you off and that you're going nowhere."

He laughs at that. Now he was faced with no choice his mind was full of what he wanted to say to Robert.

"Ok. I better get sorted then." Suddenly he was glad he'd run home to get a change of clothes before they'd left. He didn't want to face him in the ratty old t-shirt he'd been wearing.

Robert was going to see what he'd missed. Maybe it was petty and it wasn't his fault, but it didn't hurt to look good did it.

[myonepiece]

can I ask what are your thoughts about people on tiktok cancelling oda for being "misogynistic"??? I'm a woman and misogyny is a huge word so I got shocked and see what they were talking about and its about this interview where female fans are complaining about the girls characters design and fanservice and he said he cares more about his male audience thats why. One piece is shounen and is male dominated, and you know how they like the non realistic big boobies and hips though I agree that there's too much fanservice and nami and robin's old design were better. But the fanservice criticism is understandable as a woman I would also like a diverse body image for women like how Isayama creates his fem characters which is chefs kiss. Oda draws them poorly (in my opinion) but I like how THEY ARE WELL WRITTEN. I love their mommy milkers but I agree the new fans or anime watchers who's gonna start watching it might feel uncomfy but setting aside their design THEIR BACKSTORIES ARE GOOD. And he writes Zoro as someone who sees women snd men equal so I don't see how he's misogynistic 😅 Misogynist hates women, Oda doesn't hate women he just said that his target audience are men bc op is shonen after all.

I literally love female characters in op they're well written comparing to other shonen that's the same age as one piece that has the same fan service but the girl is just quirky, submissive and has no personality at all. Like Naruto the women are so poorly written and could've had more potential.

Maybe its because I'm already used with the way he drew them but I really love their timeskip faces, they got more drip before I still love them especially Robin

ooo yes interesting, I hope I covered everything in this <3

TW- body image

I’m going to start by saying this is a touchy subject because my body/self-image issues are pretty bad and I don’t like talking about bodies, but I have a lot to say about this specific topic. I do not think Oda is a misogynist, as you said he does write Zoro as someone who views men and women as equal, and a mysoginst wouldn’t do that. he hasn’t done anything in the show that says he hates women, it’s simply his portrayal of them- and more specifically their bodies. that being said, I have a problem with the way he has his female characters look- of course the details and overall animation are amazing, and yes their bodies (especially boobs) are drool worthy, but he could definitely... tone it down a bit. in japan typically are skinny and have low body fat, but the more curvaceous aspect of Oda’s characters are pretty far-fetched. I get why he does it for the men watching, and while that does sound slightly misogynistic, mostly like a stereotypical misogynist, it isn’t- at most it’s sexist. I think that the way the characters look will cause a lot more body image issues in young girls (or just people in general) and that definitely isn’t his plan. it’s giving an unhealthy and unrealistic expectation of women, and maybe more specifically asian women. if he could simply make their boobs a little smaller and overall make their body shapes a little less “perfect” because seriously ALL of them have hourglass bodies except for a few of the villains. and honestly Oda, stop making the glow up so drastically!! Alvida, the large round women who Cody was sailing with when he met Luffy (the very first episodes for reference), was punched by Luffy and flew away, only to show up later and team up with Buggy but she had “glown up” because of Luffy’s punch- she lost all body fat and was left with an hourglass body shape and was then called one of the most beautiful woman in the sea. I mean COME ONE- a fucking punch, Oda?! more statistically speaking, Oda is making his characters follow the beauty standard, I realized this was accurate when Robin’s skin tone changed so drastically as well as Usopp’s, and really all of theirs did- we could have done without that. 

so back to the misogynistic aspect, Oda writes all of his character’s backstories the same, and they’re all awesome. also they typically all show power and fight, if he was a misogynist then I’m willing to bet we owuld get a lot more sorrow and weakness from the females, lots more battles fought exaggeratingly horrible and lost, or always being saved by the men (when in fact some of the men have been saved by the women). while we could do without so much “princess/female needs help saving kingdom/town/something” it’s not too bad. the fanservice is a bit extreme, I hate how they have to show so many bath scenes for the girls and how Nami usually has sideboob/boob in general showing, I find it kind of insulting myself but that’s only my self esteem issues- which I’m sure other people have and feel the same way, so you’re not alone if you do feel that way about it. and when Nami’s boobs tend to pop up from her top, I’m thinking of those scenes in the outfit she wore during the episodes she met Sanji’s brothers. and the fact that when she hugs people their faces go directly into her cleavage doesn’t need to be so drastically pointed out, we don’t need a close up or anything Oda but... thanks? 

one big thing that proves he’s not a misogynist is that a lot of high ranking characters are female; Portgas D. Rouge, Charlotte LinLin (Big Mom), Boa Hancock, Tashigi, Tsuru, Catarina Devon, Alvida, Jewelry Bonney, ect.

he also has a lot of powerful female characters that had large impacts on characters (ex. their mothers) such as: Kuina, Olvia Robin, Bell-mere, Nojiko, Toki, etc.

he also has a number of male characters that are extremely anti-misogynist like Sanji and Zoro as well as Luffy. while Sanji is slightly sexist, he shows no hate towards women, he literally worships them. Zoro and Luffy are much better example because they’re neither sexist or misogynist, neither have any problem fighting a woman. in fact Zoro hates that women are seen as weaker and his whole childhood ass well as life was impacted by Kuina who was trying to prove herself because she was a female and eveyone underestimated her and thought she couldn’t be/wasn’t a swordsman- Zoro expressed his anger at that because he doesn’t see why anyone would think that. and Luffy simply just couldn’t care less about what gender someone is.

so all in all, Oda is not a misogynist, his portrayal of female characters is sexist at most but he is no woman-hater.

[child-of-hurin]

Dark Narn AU

Recently I mentioned I had some ideas for a Dark Narn AU and @outofangband  expressed curiosity, so I decided to copypaste my notes here :)

The reason this AU was conceived was that I wanted Túrin and Nienor to get buddy buddy with Gothmog and Glaurung…. Literally my motivation for this lmao.

WORD OF WARNING:

1. This is almost 3 pages long on Gdocs 😭 2. This is actually dark, so mind yourself. CW for mentions of nonconsent, manipulation, murder, slavery, the whole nine yards and, of course, incest.

And btw, this relies on my headcanon/understanding that there were mortal slaves in Angband as well as elves.

When teenage Húrin and Huor are cornered by orcs in Brethil, they are in a dense spot. Húrin stays behind to hold the orcs while Huor runs up the hill. Huor would never have left his brother behind, but it’s a mess and he doesn’t realize what happened until he’s being carried away by other soldiers/rescuers and screaming his lungs out for Húrin, who’s pulled back by the orcs and then taken captive to Angband.

There he undergoes some brainwashing by Melkor, who, true to the essence of their Narn interactions, sees he can profit more from corruption than from killing this agent. By this point Húrin is a teen and hasn’t met Turgon yet. He breaks eventually and becomes Melkor’s champion. 

We have Húrin, and now we need Morwen. To keep the chronology, I prefer having her be captured during a raid on Emeldir’s group of refugees, when they’re migrating west to escape the Battle of the Sudden Flame; that can also have Rian either being captured as well, or escaping and following canon and marrying Huor and mothering Tuor, which I prefer for this AU (also casts a shadow on them as… replacements for the true heirs, sort of! Both having dear family members, who are also the eldest and the legitimate heirs, captured by Morgoth). Either after his brainwashing is complete, or during it, she is given to Húrin to marry as a token of Melkor’s regard: Morwen the beauty, the heir of the House of Bëor, the only fitting consort for the heir to the house of Hador, etc. Túrin is born in 464.

Lalaith is born two years later, which is a weird year because that’s when Beren and Lúthien steal one of Melkor’s silms! Angband has never been more somber, but there is talk of hope among the slaves, of which Morwen hears some, as well as the name of Beren her kinsmen who she knows and loves. She’s fiercely proud of him. But then Húrin, who is head over hells smitten with her, but who’s still wary of her loyalties, casually mentions in bed at some point that Beren was killed by Carcharoth (a lie meant to shake her/destroy any hopes of rescue), and that despite the loss of the Silmaril, Melkor is somewhat satisfied that the whole ordeal ended up dividing the elven kingdoms further apart, and confides in her about some of the plans for the following war (Unnumbered Tears).

The very next day, Morwen kills Urwen. She knows how other female thralls fare, and she knows that as soon as Húrin is dead Melkor would have no more use for them. Like canon, better dead than a thrall. To her, killing Urwen is not only a mercy, but an act of love. I think Morwen was about to end her own life too, or maybe end Túrin’s, but they caught her before she did any more. Maybe she locked herself with her children in a bedroom, ready to off all of them, and someone intervened before she could.

This sends Húrin into a rage out of despair because he really dotes on Urwen no matter the AU, and Túrin takes it all pretty hard, as he adored his sister and feels betrayed and confused. Melkor ofc enjoys the opportunity to turn Húrin even more towards him, and encourages him to get another child from Morwen to make up for the one he lost, whether she wants it or not. 

In this AU Niënor is conceived (at least) nine months before the Unnumbered and not nine months later. During all the pregnancy Morwen is watched, to make sure she won’t do anything drastic. Túrin is one of the people keeping tabs on her. Morwen names her Niënor, lamentation, and instead of being offended, Húrin laughs and says it’s an appropriate name for a warrior that shall bring woe to her foes, who will lament upon seeing her. Morwen is forbidden to be alone with Niënor and they are closely watched; as a result, they aren’t very close in this hc, as opposed to canon.  Niënor grows up being reminded that her mother wants to kill her, never wanted to conceive her in the first place.

Both Túrin and Nienor have strong mommy issues. Túrin is always keeping Morwen company and they have a very similar temper, but he tries to keep his visits a secret from Nienor. Nienor loves Túrin enormously but confronts him when she learns he still visits Morwen; also I think she sees Morwen in Túrin a little, too, because they’re so similar. It drives her mad. There’s a lot going on here with sibling competition / possessiveness / jealousy; Nienor doesn’t want Túrin to get along with Morwen, against whom she has a big grudge; she also doesn’t like that Morwen gives to Túrin the love she has always denied Niënor (according to how Niënor perceives the situation). She wants Túrin to choose her but Túrin just evades the question or gets angry and they fight. 

I like the idea of Húrin heading the fight against mortals in the Unnumbered, and him and Huor meeting on the battlefield, and killing each other. 

Túrin is crazy about Nienor, though you wouldn’t guess it by looking. Not only they’re the only mortals around who are equals and thus relatable on any level, he projects a lot of his Urwen grief on her and is very protective and possessive. There’s a lot of unresolved tension that they don’t even acknowledge. When they’re together onlookers get a feeling like there isn’t space for anyone else - though Morwen is an always-felt presence and the only crack in their bond. Túrin is stoic and reserved and his canon obsession with fighting Melkor is changed into a type of family pride. Right now I think he’s really mad that Dor-Lómin was given to the Easterlings and his mistrust of Melkor grows. He’s also concerned with the hidden elf cities, especially Nargothrond and Doriath because of their ties to the Silmaril heist. 

In this AU Túrin (and Húrin before he dies) is buddies with Gothmog who is sort of a mentor to him, and Nienor has a great friendship with Glaurung, whom she rides on sometimes, maybe into battle. 

I had considered the idea of either Túrin or Nienor meeting Gwindor by accident on the woods and goading him and fooling him, following him until they got the path to Nargothrond, while the other sibling followed them from afar. One sibling goes into the town and the other comes with the army down on them, no need for bridges I guess. Or the bridge can be deliberate sabotage. Since I like Nienor riding Glaurung, it can be Túrin who goes in, as in canon - OTOH idk how good Túrin can be with deception no matter the AU, so maybe it is Nienor... though, really, is she any better? Also, would she have a voice in council? How sexist are they? Maybe if she got Gwindor’s ear somehow… idk, thoughts!

Anyway, Finduilas is captured and not killed, though I’m not sure how much better this is. Maybe both Túrin and Nienor take her for consort in a smoking hot, nonconsensual, incesty edain sandwich. 

I haven’t thought ahead of this yet, that’s all I have! They need to have a cool and tragic ending, though I’m still unsure how. I feel like they need to fall with Brethil, but then I’m unsure what happens. Also I really don’t want Túrin and Nienor to have a permanent falling out and dying hating each other, it’s not my thing. I feel like they need to die together, like in canon. 

Things to consider:

>> Tuor and Aerin as kin who are held captive. Do Túrin and Nienor know they exist and are there? If they do, how do they react?

>> Morwen + other mortal thralls, or maybe Morwen + having ELVISH thralls to serve her, which Melkor does to show Húrin how much he honors him bla bla. I love this concept.

>> Húrin and Gothmog banter, Gothmog warming up to the mortal once he sees him being an absolute savage in battle, Húrin and Gothmog competing to see who causes more havoc

>> Glaurung is super mean to Morwen once and that tickles Nienor so much she just gets attached to him. Nienor joking with Túrin that she rides a dragon (Glaurung) and he is ridden by one (the dragon helm of Dor-lómin)

>> Gurthang???? I think Túrin needs a black sword. I’m SUPER attached to the visuals of Nienor using an axe though.

[talkfantasytome]

In Defense of Misogyny?

NOPE!

Before I start, I will not be defending misogyny. There is no defense for misogyny. I'm just a bit of a bitch who couldn't resist a controversial title. *shrug*

I saw a conversation recently about how horrible it is that the fandom loves Eris and is quick to hate Mor. I was going to post my response in a reblog, but I realized that, on top of the post ending up very long, I wasn't fully responding to the conversation at hand. I was sharing my own thoughts that only semi-relate.

If you're interested in that convo, you can find it here.

However, I am not going to directly respond to this, because the conversation made good points. And I very much agree, in theory, that we should not be more forgiving of males than females in general.

Instead, I just want to share my own feelings on why it may not be misogyny to like Eris and dislike Mor, and the main questions to ask to understand that.

First and foremost - I would like to state that we can not and should not hold women to a higher standard than men. In this, I hands down agree.

I will also agree that it absolutely can be sexist/misogynistic to love Eris and hate Mor. However, as someone who, while in the throes of ACOSF, was upset with Mor and still liked Eris (or, enjoyed him? I love Eris, but I'm not always 100% sure I truly love him, or the character and the mystery behind him and my own hopes of who he might actually be), I don't consider myself or my reasons to have been sexist.

Also, I would like to point out that I did not end ACOSF still very upset with Mor. My current feelings are that I hope to see more of her to fall back in love with the character, as I did love her, for the most part, especially in ACOMAF. And I totes ship Mor/Emerie.

That being said, I think we have to take a moment to consider a multitude of factors around why one might currently be more forgiving of Eris than Mor, as well as other pieces, that may or may not show this as true misogyny.

1. Why are we mad at Mor?

Personally, for me, yes, I don't love that Mor hasn't said anything to Az, even in the vein of just telling him it's not going to happen. It's not that she must do this, or that Az deserves that, specifically. It's more that it would be the right thing to do. But, I'm not mad at Mor for this, because I understand why she doesn't. Similarly, there is no male character who I'm solely mad at because they kept a secret.

No, what hurt me the most about Mor - and yes, hurt me is the best way to describe it - was her complete disdain and hatred for Nesta. I am, generally speaking, biased toward Nesta, and I do recognize this. But it doesn't change where I came from. She was horrible to Nesta almost from the get go. Sure, she brought Nesta to the Night Court and then, the next time we see them together, Mor is snapping at Nesta. She basically ignores Nesta when Nesta decides to join them for the High Lord's meeting. She causes Cassian to pull his hand away from Nesta during the war - which, admittedly, was a Cass action I'm still waiting for an explanation on, but it still had to do with her. Cassian was doing that for her, which means that he believed him holding Nesta's hand might hurt Mor or something - why? What is it that makes Mor soooo against this compared to everyone else? It's either a selfish reason - i.e. the buffer thing - or it goes back to her just hating Nesta the most. She then basically yells at Nesta for waiting at Cassian's tent when he's injured - for caring for Cassian. And then, in SF, when we first see her she is insulting Nesta to Cassian, and then straight to Nesta's face.

Perhaps it is all about feeling like Nesta brings her friends pain. Perhaps it is a fear of how Nesta could change the inner circle. But, we are never given Mor's full reasons, and even other POVs don't really give us anything to go off of. So all we see is Mor hating Nesta.

We see Mor hating a woman who has just gone through some serious trauma. Multiple traumas, really. And she probably disliked Nesta even as a human, though again we didn't really see them interact, only Mor being shocked at Cassian's declaration to Nesta. Which can't help but make you wonder if that played any part, too.

So, in the end, what made me the most hurt by Mor's actions toward Nesta, and words about Nesta, was the fact that Mor seemed to not care at all about what Nesta was actually dealing with, she only cared that Nesta was being a bitch.

Mor - who has faced her own horrific traumas, yet can't see it in herself to give someone else who has faced trauma the benefit of the doubt. Mor - who was so kind to Feyre, and very forgiving of Feyre basically ignoring her that first time she was in the Night Court, understanding Feyre's trauma. Mor was holding Nesta to a double standard. Basically, my hurt and anger toward Mor stemmed from the same anger that went into that original post - anger at a double standard toward a female who is suffering from trauma. Because Mor, one who often seemed posed as a defender of woman, a representation of how one can heal and grow from trauma, but how that trauma will still always affect them, couldn't find it in herself to even understand that Nesta was dealing with her own trauma, and what she needed was healing and help. Not insults and being thrown into the Hewn City.

Is it not maybe understandable how it would actually be harder to forgive Mor for showing such a double standard? For showing such little care or sympathy toward someone who has faced her own trauma? How saying that Mor should be loved because she has gone through so much might be almost hypocritical, considering who Mor is showing hatred toward?

I do understand how Nesta could hit closer to home. She sees Nesta to be as bad as the people she was raised with. But, honestly, that doesn't make it better. It just reminds me that Mor is actually often blind to the truth when she doesn't want to believe it or face it. She runs from it, she fights it, and while she is in her right to do so, it is not okay to do so by hurting another person, another woman who has also been through more trauma than Mor even realizes.

I don't find that anger, or upset (which is really more how I felt about Mor) to be a form of misogyny, at least not on its own. Because my feelings for other characters, my interpretations of their actions, may be wholly different, and it's not that I'm holding Mor to a higher standard. It's that I hold certain issues above others, and to me, holding people to a double standard is at the top of the list on what will annoy me about someone else the most.

2. Who else are we mad at? Is it only Mor? Or are there others we are also mad at, and for what reasons?

We should also consider who else a person is mad at, if not Eris, to see are they really holding Mor/women to a higher standard.

Using myself, again - the person I came out of ACOSF the most mad with/upset about was, hands down, Rhys. Not Mor. In fact, by the end of the book, I'd lightened a lot toward Mor, because I did see how Mor was changing and adjusting. She saw Nesta healing, and her attitude toward Nesta shifted. And, to be perfectly honest, I am SERIOUSLY HOPING we will see them have a heart-to-heart, get to know each other, get to understand each other, apologize to each other (especially Mor for how she's treated Nesta, and the things she said to her when Nesta was literally depressed and dealing with PTSD - cause those things weren't okay) and come out the other side, if not as friends, than at least as two females who respect each other. Because I think we all, including Mor and Nesta, need that. But, despite that, we did at least see Mor be better with Nesta. It showed Mor's openness to possibly accepting a new truth about Nesta, which I was happy to see.

Now, back to who are we mad at. Like I said, even if we're considering the middle of ACOSF, when I was fully upset with Mor, my feelings toward her never got to where they still are with Rhys - I don't care about his gifts, until he proves to me he actually cares even a little bit about Nesta as her own person and not as Feyre's sister, I will struggle with him. So, again, can we argue that my feelings were misogynistic if, in the end, my greatest anger was actually toward a man?

On top of that, my anger toward Rhys is far more aligned to what I was feeling about Mor. Because, again, it was about his treatment of a character dealing with trauma. If anything, my double standard is toward Rhys. I don't think it's a double standard, because my expectations of Rhys were higher considering his previous actions, and how he supposedly cared about all of his people. Not because he was a man, but because of what we see from him vs. Mor, particularly in ACOWAR. And, also, you know - Rhys did other things that made me super mad. Mor never threatened Nesta's life, for example.

Conversely, any anger I've have toward Eris (and, I'll admit, there's still a bit), entirely surrounds what he did/didn't do 500 years ago. I'll go into more detail on why I may offer my forgiveness in the next section, but in regards to the anger - I don't see these aligned. My anger toward Rhys and Mor revolve mostly around double standards they seem to have and a lack of understanding or caring for someone who is clearly struggling with trauma. Something that, personally, I think they should both be on the side of truly understanding, considering their own experiences. Eris, on the other hand, it's an anger for leaving Mor to die. I'm not saying that this is a "better" thing to do, it's just that the two angers don't align. I'm not holding Mor to a higher standard, because I do not see the two as the same. Thus, their paths toward forgiveness may look very different, because I will be looking for different things in each of them.

3. What is the person now doing? Have they earned forgiveness?

I'm not saying Eris has earned forgiveness. I'm not saying Mor hasn't. That is up for all of us to interpret.

That being said, what we've seen from Mor does not include any signs of regret for her actions. We do not see her actively trying to make things better between her and Nesta, to understand Nesta, or that she has any sorrow for what she said to her. At best, we see Mor polite to Nesta, and maybe willing to get to know her better. The absolute best interaction was at Solstice, when Mor asked if she might be able to join. As I mentioned, I am hopeful for these two - in part cause my head canon is that they could actually be amazing friends, but that's for another day - and I really loved seeing Mor willing and interested to join in, despite it being with Nesta (and kinda Nesta's thing), as well as seeing Nesta being willing and interested to have Mor join, even if it's just solely for the priestesses. But, that is one interaction and, again, doesn't actually show any repentance from Mor for her own actions against Nesta.

I know some people will say "you mean just that one 'mean' thing Mor said?" - yes. Though it wasn't just that one time, was it? Because there have been multiple times Mor has shown a true disdain for Nesta, while also showing a true indifference to the fact that Nesta was struggling. The other best example of this was when Cassian was hurt in the war, and Nesta was waiting outside his tent, clearly terrified. Mor, also upset, by many things, took it almost entirely out on Nesta. She was either blind to Nesta's feelings for Cassian (doubtful), or she simply didn't care, and instead snapped at her, all while Nesta was probably terrified and fearing the worst in her mind.

The two never talked about this either. And we don't know if Mor regrets those things she's done and said, or even just feels bad, and we also don't have a full understanding of her reasons, or even if there are valid reasons. Because she doesn't talk about it - or, at least, we haven't see her talk about it. I truly hope we will get some answers to all of this. But, right now, we don't even really get hints - we simply assume she must have a reason, because she's Mor and she's great and so she must have a reason we can understand and accept. Still, we don't know, and we don't see her even be held accountable for those actions - admittedly, an issue with most of the Inner Circle and the lack of them being held accountable for how they've treated certain people.

Eris, on the other hand, while what he did was truly horrific, has admitted that he really regrets his actions - or inactions. And he has stated that he had his reasons - reasons that cost him. So we know that he has, in fact, paid for what he's done, at least to some extent. And, more so than that, his current actions seem, to me, to prove this. His constant attempts to ally with the Night Court, to try and do the right thing. Yes, when we saw him at the High Lord's meeting, he was wrong to say what he did to Mor. But we also cannot hold that at full face value and be mad at him for that one thing without remaining mad at Rhys for all he's done while wearing his High Lord of the Night Court mask. Again, that would be a double standard. We can be annoyed by it, but if we forgive Rhys for playing a part, we must also forgive Eris. (This statement, of course, is based on my interpretation that Eris is good at heart, but has made a number of mistakes and is essentially forced to be awful due to his place in life.)

However, despite that one thing, everything else we see from Eris, seems repentant. It is, of course, my interpretation of Eris. But considering all the things he's done, the little threads we get that show us he's not the awful monster we were told he is. He has been working to earn forgiveness, and is doing the right things now - just still often wearing that Autumn Court mask. And, if we're going to forgive Rhys for all the monstrous things he's done, because he has shown himself to be better than that, then it's okay to at least consider forgiving Eris.

So, why is it wrong to be willing to forgive someone for something that he has shown he is seeking forgiveness for? But to maybe not be forgiving another for something that she has not sought forgiveness for? Can we forgive someone for something if they don't realize what they did was wrong? In my opinion, no. Yes, people say that the only person you ever really need forgiveness from is yourself. And I don't fully disagree - I think we do need to forgive ourselves. But, again, only once we understand what we did, how and why it was wrong, and when we want forgiveness. Then we forgive ourselves, and at the least can hope that our actions show that we understand this truth, and others may forgive us even if we don't ask blatantly. In the end, though, we do need to ask for forgiveness. It's just a matter of whether we are vocalizing that request, or showing it in our actions.

Summary

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't times where this is a true double standard. Where people just love Eris and hate Mor, and maybe even blame Mor for what went down with Eris (and, if they do, I will fight them on that because Mor is blameless in that situation - idgaf if she slept with Cassian, I will not blame her for wanting out of that marriage).

I am also not trying to convince anyone that they should love Eris, or that they should dislike Mor - especially seeing as I don't fully dislike Mor, I'm just waiting for the best Mor to come back.

I'm only saying that we really can't make assumptions and say that loving Eris and hating Mor automatically means misogyny. Some things hit closer to home than others - as I mentioned as a possible reason why Nesta is such a struggle for Mor. It could very well be solely about what it is they do and don't forgive each person for. And, personally, I think finding out if a person who is angry with Mor was also angry with Rhys during ACOSF is a much better gauge than comparing Mor and Eris.

I don't believe that Mor owes anyone any explanations. Clearly, my own feelings around Mor have really not revolved around what she may or may not be hiding about Eris. Of course I want to know, I'm a nosy reader. But, if she's hiding something for her friends about that, she has her reasons and I'll accept them so long as they don't end up being, like "well, I just wanted you all to hate Eris forever". But, typically, Mor's reasons have to do with her own trauma and fears, and I accept that. It may, at times, be self-centered - but sometimes don't we all need to be a bit self-centered?

However, I think that we need to truly compare the anger, compare the reasons, to understand why some might like one character and dislike another. It is not feminist to automatically support a woman if she is in the wrong. It is not misogynistic to forgive a man and not a woman for two entirely different situations and reasons. We have to remember that feminism is supporting gender equality in every way - workplace, personal lives, laws, etc. Feminism is not supporting female superiority, which is exactly what happens when you compare two people for things that are not comparable, and then state that you must be more forgiving of the female.

After Thoughts on Mor

I am truly hopeful that we will see Mor and Nesta's relationship grow. And I would like to see more of the Mor we met in ACOMAF, tbh. I have felt, as has been observed by others, that Mor's character and journey has been incredibly chaotic and inconsistent. She was the bomb.com in ACOMAF with how she was with Feyre. Then, in ACOWAR, she was a bit moody, she was mean and harsh toward Nesta (and still has explaining to do on some of this and the Cassian stuff), and she just wasn't really who we met in ACOMAF. I don't really remember much about ACOFAS. But, in ACOSF, again, Mor was different. Except, instead of being just moody and harsh toward Nesta when pushed, now she's completely unforgiving and dismissive of Nesta. And, honestly, that wasn't the Mor I was expecting. I would have expected Mor to be one of the first to maybe realize that Nesta was dealing with trauma. I guess that expectation shouldn't have been held considering ACOWAR, but it was different. I still thought Mor might understand, to an extent - might be at least willing to help Nesta heal, or want to see her healed. Instead, we got someone who said Nesta should just be thrown into the Hewn City - to Cassian's face. So, on top of not giving a damn about Nesta at all (the female that saved Cassian's life, full stop), she also didn't show much caring or understanding of Cassian, one of her best friends. Not until after she saw what a comment like that did to him. And yes, Mor may be just dealing with her own trauma, I understand that. It's why I still have a hard time saying I was truly angry with Mor, but more hurt by/upset with her in ACOSF. Because it may be something deeper that caused her to be this way. Or just her own preoccupation with what's going on in her life. But, in the end, it was still targeted at one person, the one person who probably could handle it the least.

That's my long winded way of saying that I have a lot of hope for Mor's character in the future, and that I don't actually hate her. I just hope that we get to understand her better, understand the reasons she's had for what she's done, but I also hope we see her held accountable (and the rest of the IC).

As always, this is just my own personal opinion, and I accept that others' opinions may be different. I promise to respect yours, all I ask is that you respect mine. I'm not opposed to dissenting arguments, just asking for no attacks. :)

[gukyi]

21st century love | jjk

summary: you and fellow film student jeon jungkook have been clashing heads all semester in your realistic fiction and 21st century film class, because jungkook thinks that rom-coms are meant to express the beauty of love, and you think that they’re ploys by hollywood to tell people that they can achieve love by engaging in consumerism. but when you’re assigned to create your own stereotypical romantic comedy short film, jungkook takes it upon himself to show you just how attainable love can really be. 

{enemies to lovers!au, college!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader genre: fluff word count: 1k warnings: none a/n: thank you to @ggukcangetit​ for commissioning me for this piece!! this is from my fic titles ask game, and honestly if i had the time i would 100% turn this into a full fic. who knows, maybe one day i will!!!

You love your Realistic Fiction and 21st Century Film professor as much as the next student, but she is an evil person. An evil person who paired you up with none other than Jeon Jungkook for the final project—a project worth fifty (fifty!) percent of your grade—on purpose. What on earth was she thinking? Did she think it would be fun for you? Did she think it would be a learning experience? Or maybe she just enjoys watching her students crash and burn, watch them slowly lose their minds as they are forced to endure modern-day hell: a group project.

The fact of the matter is, out of all of the students in your sixty-person lecture, Jeon Jungkook is the last person you’d want to be paired up for this project. You’d even be more willing to work with the sleazy kid in the back who comes to every class hungover as hell and sleeps through the entire ninety-minute period. At least you would find out good places to get drunk. 

You don’t even give Jeon Jungkook the satisfaction of entering his contact into your phone—leaving it as a random number because you already see his stupid name as a comment on all of your discussion board posts anyway. As if raising his hand to rebuke you in class on a daily basis isn’t enough. 

You didn’t take Realistic Fiction and 21st Century Film just so you could sit around watching 500 Days of Summer and She’s the Man all day long. You took it because 21st century film, at least in your eyes, has become so manufactured, so cookie cutter, the same plotline and carbon copy characters, and you were curious to see if any historians and movie buffs had the same jaded outlook as you. But it seems that you sit on one end of the spectrum, and Jeon Jungkook, hopeless romantic and grossly optimistic, sits on the other. 

The safest place for the two of you to meet is a group study room on the second floor of the main library on campus, one where you can lock the door so no eavesdropping ears can hear you, and one where you have a strict time limit of an hour and thirty minutes before another person comes along to kick you out. 

You and Jeon Jungkook reach the room at the same time, coming from opposite entrances so you can glare at each other with every step you take. 

“So nice to see you,” Jungkook says, too cheerful, as you reach out to open the door. 

“Mmm,” you mumble in response as you enter the group study room, flinging your backpack onto the floor by your chair with a thud as you take a seat. 

Jungkook, not at all outwardly discouraged by your clear disdain for him, rallies on. “So, what were you thinking for the project? Oh, wait, let me guess: a social commentary on the consumerist ideals that underline every modern movie and encourage the pursuit of an empty dream by abandoning concrete career and personal goals in favor of romantic fulfillment.”

You frown at him, even though that’s exactly what you were thinking of doing. 

“You know that romantic comedies are supposed to be fun, right?” Jungkook says with a raise of his eyebrows. 

“They’re not that fun to me,” you comment snidely. 

“That’s because you’re a stick in the mud who takes everything way too seriously,” Jungkook replies. “Have you ever even been in a relationship?”

“That’s none of your business,” you tell him firmly. “Besides, you asking that is exactly my point. Not everything has to be about finding love and searching for your soulmate or whatever bullshit like that. Some people don’t really care that much.”

“You don’t have to abandon all of your life goals just to find love, you know,” Jungkook says pointedly. “It doesn’t have to be the most important thing in your life for you to even care about it a little.”

“Romantic comedies are propaganda made by modern Hollywood to turn relationships into manufactured goods made specifically for our mass consumption,” you say with a scowl. “They have nothing to do with what love really is.”

“Well,” Jungkook says with his arms crossed over his chest, “then what do you think love really is?”

You frown at him. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says like it’s obvious. “This project is about filming a short romantic comedy, about people falling in love with each other. How do you expect me to do that if we don’t reach a mutual agreement on what love is?”

You scoff. “There is no way in hell I am going to agree with you on anything concerning love.” Jeon Jungkook flutters from one person to the next like a butterfly desperate for a lasting relationship full of commitment and love. Every week he’s dating somebody new. And yet, still, he keeps looking. Pretty soon he’ll run out of people on campus to talk to. He is the last person you would ever take relationship advice from. 

“Then what are we supposed to do, huh?” He says with an eyebrow raised. “We have a month to make a movie that’s fifty percent of our grade.”

“The social commentary is still on the table,” you point out. Sure, it’s not at all a romantic comedy, but it’s about them, which is good enough in your book. Besides, your professor has been teaching you the entire semester, hasn’t she? She should know by now not to expect some cushy lovey-dovey story about two people who were destined to be with each other and can overcome all obstacles with their love. 

What on earth she was thinking when she paired you up with Jungkook, you suppose you’ll never know. 

“You’re such a Negative Nancy,” Jungkook comments with a roll of his eyes. “All you ever do is talk about how consumerism strips away our personalities and how manufactured Hollywood movies are and how people are just cogs in the wheel of capitalism. You don’t even stop to look around at all the positives of our society. Like true love, like the joy that people bring each other. You’re just filled with gloom and doom.”

“Then what are you going to do about it?” You challenge. Sure, Jungkook hit the nail on the head, but that doesn’t mean that he’s any better. Disillusioned people are dangerous. They dream about things instead of doing them. They block out all of the problems with the world in favor of an impossible utopian society where you want for nothing. 

You remember high school literature. The realists and the romanticists never got along. 

It doesn’t seem that much has changed. 

“Just you wait,” Jungkook says, wringing his hands together before he turns on you, staring you down with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Let’s do something like Love, Actually. A bunch of different love stories weaved together, except less depressing and sexist.” Your brows are furrowed in worry at the look of determination on his face. “And you’re going to see how beautiful love really is. How happy it makes people feel.”

You scoff in disbelief. Your professor has been trying to convince you of the beauty of love ever since you went to her first office hours at the beginning of the semester. What makes Jungkook so sure he can do this in the month you have left?

“Yeah, and how do you plan on doing that?” You prompt him. 

Jungkook grins. “One of those love stories will be ours.”

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget i’m still taking commissions!

[terrm9]

Lost

Ethan X Sienna - friendship/mentorship (also mentions of Ethan X MC and Sienna X Danny)

This takes place somewhere through Chapter 18 and the time jump

Warnings: angst, mention of character death, trauma, sexist remark (1)

Words count: 1 700

So I had this idea in my head for a while now and now I decided to write it for two main reasons: 1) I can be okay with the time jump and absence of a date night and pretty much everything EXCEPT the fact that everyone ignores Sienna’s feelings ever since the accident. I mean, we get to help Jackie, we get to help Aurora BUT no diamond scene to help OUR BEST FRIEND Sienna, who lost her dear one? (And I don’t care that they were just ‘almost’ something. I have been an almost something with my now husband for a whole year before we started dating officialy and I would die if something happened to him in that year.

2) I really like to see Ethan as a good mentor. Not just to MC because he has ‘soft spot’ for her. As much as Ethan is irritated with interns and pretty much everyone, I believe that he has it in him to be a good mentor when some of his residents need help

I wrote this for myself actually but I hope someone else might enjoy it too

------- LOST ----------

It was Ethan’s sixth hour of working and, as fulfilling as working at the free clinic was, he was exhausted. Walking through the corridor towards his old office, all he wanted was to have a cup of hot coffee, ten minutes of peace and if he was lucky enough, maybe a moment alone with Chiara.

He missed her. As a mentor, he couldn’t be prouder of how she adjusted to the new situation and how dedicated she was to do as much as she could before Edenbrook’s closing. As a partner, he just wanted to have a nice free weekend with her filled with talking about everything and nothing, cooking for her, watching House, which she loved and he hated, and having undue amount of sex.

Turning around the corner, he stopped in his tracks as he noticed Dr. Trinh storming off one of the patient’s rooms and nearly running into nearest supply closet. He sighed, the scene becoming all too familiar and took a look into the room she just left. An older man was sitting on a bed, gesticulating wildly as he spoke to someone on the phone.

After evaluating situation, Ethan decided to leave the patient alone and follow Sienna into the supply closet instead. However, before he could do so, the door of the closet opened again and without as much as glancing into his direction, Sienna – with her eyes red and puffy, cheeks wet with tears and lips trembling – walked away.

This needs to stop.

He straightened his posture and followed her tracks, finding her at the nurses’ station, talking to Chiara in quiet voice.

Approaching them, he cleared his throat and as both younger doctors raised their heads at the sound, he spoke, his voice firm.

“Dr. Trinh, a word in my office, please.”

Sienna’s eyes widened and she muttered to Chiara: “He is going to kill me. Oh, he is going to chew me out.”

Well, my ex-office. Not that it really matters.

Chiara’s brows furrowed, her eyes travelling from her best friend’s face to the one of her boyfriend. Sure, Ethan was still their attending, but he actually liked Sienna. He wouldn’t chew her out, would he?

Then she realized that when she screwed up, Ethan would give her a hard time, no matter the fact that he would take her for a dinner after that.

“Should I go with you?” she whispered to Sienna, worried about the scene that was about to happen.

Sienna smiled sadly and shook her head, already following Ethan’s steps.

He was already standing behind his desk when she came in, his expression unreadable.

 “Take a seat, Dr. Trinh,” he gestured towards a chair, not taking a seat himself, however.

Sienna sat down, her head hanging low, waiting for the outburst.

“I was about to make myself a cup of coffee. Can I offer you one?” Ethan asked quietly.

She lifted her head up abruptly, not believing the words she just heard and nodded quickly, before Dr. Ramsey would change his mind.

“Is this about me leaving a patient and crying in a supply closet, Dr. Ramsey?” she asked with voice so quiet it could have been a whisper, as he handed her a mug.

“Yes. This is the fifth or sixth time I have seen you walking in or out of a supply closet, crying, Dr. Trinh and I am speaking of a period of last three weeks maybe. What is going on? You know this cannot go on like this anymore.”

Sienna put the mug on a desk and started to play with the hem of her white coat, hoping that Ethan wouldn’t notice the tears streaming down her face again.

“I am sorry, Dr. Ramsey. I know my behavior hasn’t been professional and that leaving a patient like that is unacceptable and I promise to do my best to avoid such situations in the future.”

Ethan sighed, leaning into his chair, tilting his head slightly as he observed the obviously broken form of a tiny doctor in front of him. He avoided these situations as much as he could – Naveen was the one to confront while also comforting. Ethan was the bad cop, always.

But Naveen wasn’t here and Sienna needed a good mentor, badly.

“I asked what is going on. I know you are a professional, Dr. Trinh, so I need an explanation of the situation.”

Sienna was openly crying now, all the awful thoughts running through her head.

“It’s just… this patient, he was so, so rude to me. He walked into free clinic and I knew he needed to be admitted so I’ve had a nurse admit him and as soon as I could, I went to his room to do the tests and all the time, he was telling me to fuck off – he literally used these words – and asked me to get him a real doctor and that I was just a child pretending to know what I am doing and that he would never let me do as much as draw his blood,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her white coat.

Ethan reached into his pocket and pulled out a nice white cotton handkerchief, handing it to her without saying a word. She nodded thankfully, acknowledging the gesture and after a while decided to go on.

“And you know. Dr. Ramsey, this is not an unknown situation to me. Because I am so tiny and smiling all the time, the patients tend to question my abilities as a doctor. Men, mostly. Sometimes, they have these terrible sexist remarks, I remember one patient telling me that I could take his pain away with my pretty little hands,” she blinked rapidly several times, fighting the tears of disgust.

“I am used to these situations and I believed I could handle them well. The thing is, every time I have had a patient like this and I felt uncomfortable or even unsafe, I would just page Danny with our secret code and he would storm into the room with his ‘badass nurse’ face on and usually that would work. These men respected him more than me, because he was a man too, you know? And I felt safe when he was there with me. But now,” she covered her mouth with her hand as a terrible, broken sound left her, her whole body shaking with sobs.

Ethan stood up from his chair and walked past the desk to kneel down next to her, putting his reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Now he is gone and every time I deal with a patient that is rude, I am hit with the fact that I will never get to see his badass nurse face again. And I know I should be happy. I should be happy about Chiara being okay and Rafael being okay, and I am, oh God I am so thankful that they are here, alive and well, but still it hurts like hell, not having Danny around. It has been months and I still feel like I can’t breathe every single time I pass that room. And I keep screwing up, again and again. I screwed up with my intern and now he is gone. I screw up with my friends and with my patients and I am trying so hard to go on with my life, because all of my friends can do that, even Chiara can do that, but it’s just all too much now, you know? I just wish I could leave this city for some time and just… do something entirely else for a while. Be someone else.”

Ethan kept staring at Sienna for a long time, realizing for the first time, how much the accident has affected her.

He wouldn’t get through losing Chiara, if she didn’t make it that day. He would rather die with her and it didn’t matter that at the time of the accident, they weren’t official.

So what was the difference with Sienna and Danny? Did it matter that they weren’t official, if they cared about each other deeply?

He stood up again and grabbed his coffee, intending to finish it before they would have to leave his office to work again. There was an idea playing in his head and by pretending to savour every sip of his beverage, he was gaining himself some time to compose the proposition in his head.

Sienna, too, decided to finish the coffee, preparing herself to go back to the room 421 to draw the damn blood.

“You probably haven’t heard about it, Dr. Trinh,” Ethan finally broke the silence that was becoming a little bit too uncomfortable. “But there’s this thing… Dr. Mirani, I mean Baz Mirani, is leaving to Philippines after Edenbrook is closed. He will go with Doctors Without Borders for six months to help at Calicoan Island. If you could see this as an opportunity for you, I could be able to arrange for you to join him as his protégé. Don’t feel pressured into this, please, but knowing Baz, he would be happy for your company and it could help you after all. I am now speaking from personal experience.”

“Your little trip to Amazon, huh?” Sienna couldn’t help but smile a little.

Ethan simply nodded, finishing his coffee. There was no point in telling her that in his case, leaving to Amazon didn’t help his problems at all.

“I will think about it. Thank you, Dr. Ramsey. I should go to see Mr. Lowes, I still need to draw his blood.”

Ethan nodded and grabbed his white coat. “I’ll go with you.”

If Sienna was surprised, she did a good job at hiding it. She just smiled thankfully, the first genuine smile that day.

“And for what it’s worth, if you ever find yourself feeling uncomfortable or unsafe with a patient, you can always page me.”

There was another kind of tears now threating to fall from Sienna’s eyes as he said that. She gulped visibly but instead of thanking him again, she said: “Chiara is really lucky to have you, Dr. Ramsey.”

Ethan smiled at her with the soft, gentle smile she has never thought could be addressed for someone else as Chiara.

“She is also incredibly lucky to have you, Sienna.”

[deantransgressions2]

13x02 the rising son

21 transgressions. enjoy.

#1: dean criticized sam for wanting to protect jack, and then devalued jack’s entire existence to an “it”.

sam: “look… losing mom and cas, that’s a lot to process, dean, especially on no sleep. and the kid...”

dean: “the “kid”? come on, man, you know how this plays out. kook, when we try to bend the rules, pretend that the bad guys aren’t so bad or that things will get fixed, that’s when people that we care about get hurt. and then we end up doing what we should’ve done in the first place, which is end the problem. so this time, let’s start with the obvious. soon as i find a way to take care of… it.”

time tag: 3:17

#2: after sam failed again to make dean see jack as a child, he tried to make dean see jack as an asset. dean refused to listen or consider any of sam’s insights, and admitted that he is giving up on family, which is something he claims he would never ever ever ever ever do. 

sam: “dean, “the problem” might be our only shot at saving mom.”

dean: “mom’s gone. there’s no fixing that.”

time tag: 3:44

#3: jack was happily watching scooby doo and bothering nobody, so of course dean walked over and scolded him, then turned the tv off. apparently watching tv is illegal now yall!! 

time tag: 9:03

#4: told jack to take the couch and threw a bible at him. luckily, sam isn’t a child murderer and made sure jack felt welcome. sam = good dad. but, dean winchester is already worse of a father than john was. you hate to see it. 

time tag: 9:11

#5: dean criticized jack for eating the exact same way he does. mocking a 3 day old child just for the sake of it, just to make himself feel better. he is pathetic. idk why jack and sam put up with him these next 3 seasons. 

dean: “you can slow down, you know. that’s stuff’s not gonna disappear.”

sam: “ever seen you eat, dean?”

time tag: 10:02

#6: yells at jack for copying his movements. he’s 3 days old...3 days old. 3. 

time tag: 11:35

#7: sam has been rooting for jack to not be evil. he is focusing on WHO jack is not what he is. dean, however, is counting on jack being evil so he can murder him. the confirmation bias is real here. any instance of jack showing humanity dean just tunes it out. this conversation should remind you of dean’s view of sam in s4/5

donatello: “yes, well, not so much anymore. but, uh…look at you. the waves of power… so intense.”

dean: “maybe less human than we thought.”

donatello: “fascinating. you know, i’ve met your father. your power’s nothing like his. not dark, not toxic.”

sam: “that so?”

dean: “not yet.”

time tag: whole time but 15:58

#8: he was a dick to the tattoo artist for no reason expect that he loves to take his anger out on others. 

time tag: 16:44

#9: when in doubt blame sam! when in doubt accuse sam! when in doubt manipulate sam! wooohooo!!!

sam: “so you heard donatello. no evil vibes from jack.”

dean: “proves nothing, except that you’re way too attached to this kid. you need to see this for what it is, okay?”

time tag: 16:54

#10: lessons from our sexist macho man icon:

jack: “it hurt.”

dean: “okay, see, sometimes, things hurt, so you just man up and deal with it.”

time tag: 17:21

#11: some more of dean refusing to listen to other’s correct observations of jack, because there is no changing his mind that jack is evil. he doesn’t need proof that jack is evil, because he doesn’t want it. he wants to murder jack regardless of who he is. dean only cares about WHAT jack is. sigh. 2x03 i miss you. 

time tag: 18:43

#12: dean claimed that since cas loved jack, jack is therefore responsible for his murder. even though it was literally lucifer that murdered cas, not jack. so, using dean’s logic: sam and john killed mary, sam killed jess, dean killed john, sam killed dean, sam and dean and bobby killed jo and ellen, dean killed sam, dean and sam killed cas multiple times, sam and dean killed kevin....etc etc. do you see how fucking stupid dean is being rn?

sam: “okay, look, yeah, jack is on lucifer’s family tree. but we don’t know if that dna is stronger than Kelly’s, or his connection with cas.”

dean: “oh, you mean the connection that got cas killed?”

sam: “i’m just saying, jack doesn’t have to be evil. we can teach him not to be.”

time tag: 18:53

#13: dean called jack ‘the devil’ which made jack so upset he ran away. this is a transgression obviously towards jack, but also towards sam. dean said that a 3 day old child (who literally hasn’t done anything wrong) is the devil. he said it in front of his brother who was tortured by the ACTUAL devil (and michael) for centuries. it’s insensitive and fucked up beyond belief for dean to use his brother’s abuser to try and manipulate him to conform to his beliefs on jack.

NOT TO MENTION that dean is the only member of team free will with absolutely no supernatural abilities at all. he does not understand jack. he does not understand lucifer. dean is the LAST person who should have a say in if jack is good or evil. 

time tag: 19:25

#14: this is a abuse apology. many victims of abuse are manipulated to apologize for them and sympathize with them. this is a prime example of that:

sam: “dean doesn’t hate you. it… look, sometimes the wires in dan’s head get crossed and...and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and...and fear.”

jack: “why would he be afraid?”

sam: “because dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone.”

time tag: 20:45

#15: did the writers include this scene to emphasize that dean is john (but worse)....because that’s exactly what it did. 

bartender: “i hated my old man. I ran away myself. see, my mom would never stick up for me. but…you know kids. no matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. well, that’s how it was with me, just…”

dean: “you know, that’s, uh, that’s how it was with me, too.” 

i’m not sure what dean is referring to here because based on what the bartender is saying, sam would relate more to her story than dean but ok! sure! pity party time needs no logic

time tag: 22:17

#16: sam had to seperate jack and dean in order to protect jack. sam felt that jack was safer with a man that had no soul (donatello), over his own brother. and he was right!

time tag: 23:11

#17: dean made fun of sam and jack by calling jack sam’s “new pal” as a way to not only degrade jack, but also ridicule sam. 

time tag: 27:08

#18: dean is angry that sam isn’t blindly following along with his plans for jack’s death. and everything sam tried to say to get dean out of his child murdering mindset goes in one ear and out the other. 

sam: “point is…if you and i are gonna do this, keep jack on the right side of things, then...then we have to be on the same page.”

dean: “okay. well, that’s the problem, though, sam, ‘cause we’re not on the same page. like, at all.”

sam: “all right. you know what? i know what’s going on here.”

dean: “oh. okay. well, please, tell me, what’s going on here?”

sam: “you thinking mom is gone and cas is gone, and that jack can’t be saved. dean, after everything we’ve gone through… we just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. everything’s upside-down. i get it. but we’ve been down before. i mean, rock bottom. and we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do. and jack w-wants to do the right thing. jack’s scared to death of who he is, and he’s scared of you.” 

you know who else was scared of their father figure? dean. and sam. and now jack. dean stans can hate john all they want but the truth is dean is far worse. they both deserve a special place in hell together

time tag: 27:19

#19: the mental gymnastics it takes to come to this conclusion about jack. to ignore any and all proof that jack isn’t evil. it’s shocking how strongly dean holds onto hate and his need to kill. 

sam: “dean, wait a second. the kid came through for us today. jack saved us.” dean: “no. no, whatever that was, that was a reflex. it was a sneeze. maybe next time he sneezes, he kills us. goodnight.”

time tag: 39:32

#20: dean drove jack to self harm. dean then proceeded to angrily tell him off and call him names for doing so. 

dean: “okay. what the hell? give me that. you...don’t be an idiot. look, a, this is not gonna do anything to you, okay? and b, you… what the hell?”

time tag: 40:35

#21: this is psychological abuse. this is child abuse. this scene is as bad as the panic room of s4. disgusting. and some people actually ship this man with this child’s father (castiel). get help. 

dean: “you know, my brother thinks you can be saved.” jack: “you don’t believe that.” dean: “no, i don’t.”

jack: “so… if you’re right?”

dean: “if i’m right… and it comes to killing you… i’ll be the one to do it.”

time tag: 41:07

[eventual-ghoste]

TOG rambling

Hello! This post has to do with Andy and some revelations at the end of Force Multiplied. Spoilers I give aren’t super specific but they’re there, and I can’t promise they won’t bite.

This is also in response to a TOG discord question I couldn’t stop thinking about, regarding Andy’s history as compared to Nicky’s, as posited by Em | salzundhonig:

But Nicky's past as a crusader and his growth from his past was well received, surely that'll be the same with Andy right?

I apologize if these ramblings sound like a rant but I swear my intentions are in the spirit of debate/discourse, and they are not an attack on any individuals.

The TL;DR is: Andy has work to do. Hopefully Hollywood and Rucka don’t fuck that up.

Feel free to check/correct/call me out if I’ve misspoke anywhere here (I realize I still have a lot to learn) but IMHO, I don’t think a semblance of Andy’s growth will be well received. Or, at least, I’m not so certain it should be because, in the comics, I genuinely don’t think Andy has grown. At the end of Force Multiplied, she still defends her actions with the “this is how I grew up” argument, and says it was “a long time ago,” and as much as I love love LOVE Andromache the Scythian for her badassery and how she’s a vision of female empowerment, I can’t help but think about how I hear those words all the time from people defending themselves against racist and/or sexist comments from so-called bygone eras.

Wanna know a sad difference between those people and our beloved Andy? They apologize for what they’ve done, or who they were. As hollow as the words will sound, however unforgivable their actions, however self-serving the apology will be— Those Asshats apologize. Comic!Andy never does, not even when confronted by Nile, an African American woman who likely descends from slaves, and has undoubtedly experienced racism and discrimination on a regular basis. It’s been thousands of years and Andy doesn’t even know how to say sorry (if she ever does, kudos to whoever finds a timestamp/panel, and let me know!). Instead, Andy buries the truth of her actions with a load of justifications to the point that she becomes self-deprecating, calling herself “vermin,” concluding she’s no better than the apathetic, selfish, evil POS they hunt. She may have spent the past millennia with TOG, trying to make things right but then—

But then she gives up. She’s tired. She resigns because she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight the injustice she once willingly and self-servingly participated in. So, on top of being incapable of apology, Andy also doesn’t vow to do better. She doesn’t accede to change.

If there is one reason for why “The Old Guard” is a fucking absolutely shitty title, is that it refers to people who refuse to accept new ideas and progress. We are in a fandom that has four canonically queer characters, three people of color, and two female leads! Maybe the irony is intentional but damn, why is it that Andy, PROTAGONIST #1, hasn’t completely caught up with the program?

And that brings me to why I think Andy’s reckoning will not be on the same level as Nicky’s. Because as popular as Kaysanova is, neither Nicky or Joe are the main protagonists of TOG.

We don’t follow Nicky or Joe (or Booker) into scenes. The men are strictly back-at-the-ranch, supporting characters. We follow Andy or Nile (who also have the most screen time, I believe, but fact-check me). Filmically speaking, we ought to value them with a measure of precedence. Their words and actions matter the most, especially Andy’s by nature of how everyone looks to her for guidance.

So, with all that in mind: How does one reconcile a beloved protagonist with a despicable past in slavery, of all things? In the wake of an international racial reckoning, how is a celebrated, white South African actress going to fulfill that role? How is production going to balance fantasy with reality? How are Rucka and other involved writers (Theron, Prince-Bythewood?) going to alter the original IP, while retaining the nuance of this moral quandry?

Forgive me for the overkill but: How is it going to happen?

I’m well aware that my thoughts are going down a rabbit hole, and I am definitely overthinking this, but as somebody who’s genuinely curious about whether Victoria Mahoney and the rest of the TOG crew will have the guts to confront the issue head-on, or if they’ll take the easy way out. Excise the bits that no one wants to talk about, much less watch in a feel-good film that TOG has become for many fans.

Whatever production ends up doing, I hope that 2O2G doesn’t end on a cliffhanging “pity Andromache” note because, damn, I’m gonna feel real uncomfortable scrolling through fandom posts, reading people defending slavery and giving the same “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” spiel, in order to protect a fictional character played by a conventionally-attractive cis heterosexual white woman.

(Also: If the past is so different from the present, why are there still calls for social justice? Why do ALL industries still lack diverse and equitable representation?)

Now, this is where I’ll go back to the original question and say: While I think Nicky functions well as an example for change/growth/redemption, I don’t think his change serves as a good comparison to Andy’s. I say this, even while I’m aware of double standards in gender, and even between the reception of gay characters vs lesbian characters vs etc. (re: I’m open to critique).

My line of thought stems from the fact that, canonically, Nicky always had Joe. The two have seemingly been inseparable from the moment they first killed each other. It’s likely that Joe would check Nicky whenever he said or did something wrong and offensive, and perhaps this symbiosis was mutual.

(I also have a feeling that many people easily disregarded the Christian/Muslim conflict because A) lack of knowledge in BOTH religions and B) the onscreen couple appear very much in love, especially when one is giving a beautiful monologue on the nature of their relationship. When we meet Joe and Nicky, we meet them at their best. Shout-out to interfaith couples who know more about this than my single (and secular) ass does, and might have more to say about this.)

On the other hand: Andy never had someone who was like how Joe was for Nicky. No one ever calls out Andy because A) she’s the oldest, B) she’s the lead, and C) her business card says ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA, WAR GOD. Yeah, she had Quynh/Noriko but— at the risk of yelling at Rucka for vilifying a queer woman of color (or praising him for not leaning on the stereotype of Asian passivity? idk, anyone got thoughts on this?)— Noriko is clearly not encouraging good behavior. Neither will Quynh if Netflix lets 2O2G be as faithful to the comics as TOG1 was.

Which means the Law 282 conversation might be…unavoidable? Somewhere along the line, we still end up in the hotel room with Andy, on the floor, pleading for her crew to not abandon her, even though she is the one who abandoned their cause.

This sets up a circumstance in which Fade Away might be spent trying to redeem Andy/Charlize Theron, bring her back to the “good side,” teaching her to be better— thereby highlighting her experience and “salvation,” rather than making a point of her past, and the reality of her actions. In other words, a “pity the white woman” fest.

(Because I’m crossing my fingers that TOG production/Netflix know better) In an effort to prevent that from happening, I wonder if Rucka will combine Force Multiplied with Fade Away for the 2O2G script. Given the series’ track record, I think it is feasible that FA’s release coincides with 2O2G’s, and that it finally resolves Andy. Whether by revitalizing her energy as a do-some-gooder, or finalizing her vulnerability by putting her 6,000 years to rest, thus handing off the reigns to Nile and a new generation of leadership.

The last thing I want to leave off with is: I don’t hate Andy. It’s a credit to Rucka and fellow writers (from film and fandom) that I don’t.

I might not love her character as enthusiastically as I used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not amazed by her creation. She’s a female lead whose sexuality is not exploited by the male gaze; whose emotional vulnerability is not considered a hindrance to, nor an explanation for, her battle prowess; and whose unabashed queerness is not reinforced by cookie cutter stereotypes. Andromache the Scythian is AMAZING.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to excuse or ignore her most glaring and contemptible flaw. More than anything, I’d love to sweep her past under the carpet so that 2O2G can be problem-free. Like many people, I just want to enjoy a movie without getting triggered.

I want to see Quynh and Andy kiss and make up. I want to see Joe rocking Those Shorts, and a cheeky shot of Nicky appreciating his ass. I want to see Nile welcoming Booker back to the family again. Some form of group therapy would be chef’s kiss.

But something about glossing over/removing slavery from Andy’s narrative reeks of dishonesty, and reminds me that the (Hollywood) movie industry is full of people who do not want to be tainted with negative perceptions. Understandably, appearances are their livelihood— but that particular truth is something they still have to reckon with.