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#maybe hes trans and used it before he transitioned
neverendingford · 13 days
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#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
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faultsofyouth · 2 years
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Even though I hate Dave Chapelle I tbh can not stop thinking about his "I have a HUMAN EXPERIENCE" story. because that's really it, right. Trans people all have the incredibly human experience of suffering because of their bodies. It hurts to have a body. We all know what that feels like. We all have that experience. my pain and your pain is the same.
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waskurttrans · 2 years
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Kurt Cobain Will Have His Revenge on the Straights
Had a video call with my brother Chuck the other day.  Things got heavy:
KATE: Was Kurt Cobain a trans woman?
CHUCK: What?
Kurt Cobain.  Rock musician.  He was in a band called Nirvana.
I’m familiar with him, yes.
Was he a trans woman?
Um.  No?
OK.  Why not?
I mean, he wasn’t.  It’s like asking why he wasn’t an astronaut.
He wasn’t an astronaut because he never went to space.  Why wasn’t he a trans woman?
Because he didn’t transition.  I mean, he didn’t ever say he was a woman, didn’t ever say he was trans.  So no.  Kurt Cobain wasn’t a trans woman.
So someone is trans if they say they’re trans.  Self-determination.
That’s what you’ve told me.  Is that wrong?
No, that’s right.  We know ourselves better than anybody else can know us.  If we say we’re trans, nobody can say we aren’t.
And Kurt Cobain never said he was trans.
So was I trans in 1994?
I don’t know, were you?
Yes, but if you’d asked me in 1994, I would have told you “no”.
So if I tell you I’m trans, I’m trans…
Right.
But if I tell you I’m cis, I might still be trans?
If you tell me you’re cis, I believe you.
That’s not the same thing as “I’m cis”.
That’s a really good point.  This is sort of what some queer people are getting at when they say “gender is a construct”.
Come again?
Well, you’re cisgender, right?
As far as I know, yes.
Aha.
Hmmm?
You hedged.  “As far as I know” isn’t the same thing as “yes”.  “As far as I know” opens up the possibility that you could be trans and not know it.
It doesn’t seem terribly likely.
That’s an interesting statement.  Early on in transition one of the biggest problems I had was dealing with the sheer unlikelihood of my being trans.  I mean, I knew trans people existed.  I knew somebody had to be trans.  I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that it would be me.
Do you think this is why you’re on this whole “Kurt Cobain was a trans woman” kick?
Hey now, I’m just asking questions.  You know.  Like J.K. Rowling is “just asking questions”.
Kate, you are literally wearing a T-shirt that says “KURT COBAIN WAS A TRANS WOMAN” on it right now.
Am I?  Oh, shit.  I thought I was wearing my “Skip school, take hormones, kill God” T-shirt.  To your question, though - yeah, I do think that’s part of it.  Honestly, the hardest thing about growing up trans was believing that nobody in the world had ever experienced what I was experiencing.  I didn’t have any role models.  I didn’t wonder if I was the only one.  I was convinced of it.
So being able to say that this incredibly gifted songwriter, the voice of a generation, was a trans woman like you…
I need someone like that.  I need to not be the first of my kind.
Of course you’re not the first trans woman.
No, but before a couple of years ago almost every trans woman would tell you they always knew, unquestionably and innately, that they were women.
So it’s not just about him being trans, but specifically his being a trans woman who didn’t know he was a trans woman.
An egg.  Right.
Why Kurt Cobain, anyway?  What’s so special about him that you’re trying to induct him into the Egg Hall of Fame?
He knew things.  Things cis guys don’t know.  Things I didn’t know until after I started transition.  He understood women, what we’re like, what we experience.  “Pennyroyal Tea”.  “Rape Me”.  I just have a hard time thinking of a cis man who could write songs like that.
It wouldn’t be the only way in which he was exceptional.
True.  Ahhh.  I don’t know.  I mean, I know, I can give you all the reasons, but there’s something in his eyes.
Something in his eyes.
All the pictures of him.  No matter what he’s doing.  If he’s grinning, or sad, whatever he’s doing, you can see something trapped there.  Trapped and in pain, wanting to get out but not quite knowing how.
Huh.  You, uh, know that what you’re doing is pretty much the textbook definition of projection, right?
Maybe.  Chuck, do you think I’m happier?
Since you transitioned?
Yeah.
Of course.  Absolutely.  Night and day.
Everyone says that, and honestly, I see it.  Even in pictures, you know?  I see it.  You’ve seen some of my transition timelines, right?
You do look really different.
It’s not just me.  Every single person who transitions looks like that.  We look so much happier, so much more alive, so much more us.  I don’t understand how anybody can hate us.
I don’t get it either, Kate.
And when I look at any timelines, I look at the before photos… and I see something in their eyes.  Transmasc, transfem, doesn’t matter.  There’s something trapped wanting to get out.  Every picture I’ve ever seen of Kurt Cobain looks like the “before” picture on a transition timeline.  It’s just that with him, there aren’t any after pictures.
And it’s not just the eyes, either.  The way he dressed, the whole “grunge look”.  It’s just literally egg fashion.  We dress with total disregard for our appearance or how we look because no matter what we do it’s wrong.
“Egg fashion”, egg this, egg that… isn’t it a little bit anachronistic, judging him by 2022 standards, 2022 values?
Is it?  Chuck, I was alive in 1994.  I was an 18 year old egg.  I know what that feels like.  I know what that looks like.  I lived that.  Why didn’t I come out as trans in 1994?  Because I didn’t have the opportunity.  Because self-determination needs to be informed, and none of us were.  None of us.  Look.  You know what he said to Melody Maker in 1991?  “I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all.”  That’s what he said.
Holy shit.  Really?
Really.  September 14, 1991.
Hold on, let me look that up.  Oh, yeah, I see it.  Look, if you look at the full quote he’s just saying he’s not a jock.  Like he didn’t fit in with the jocks. 
Well, what about the dresses?
What dresses?
Kurt Cobain wore a lot of dresses.  Like, a lot, both onstage and off.  On MTV in 1991, he said “It’s ‘Headbanger’s Ball’ so I thought I’d wear a gown.”  He said in a 1993 interview, “I personally like to wear dresses.  I wear them around the house sometimes.”  This is not some shameful secret he kept hidden from the world.  He was open about this.  He was proud about this.
Yeah, but… it’s just clothes.
Except it’s not just clothes.  Listen to his songs.  Listen to his lyrics.  “Should have been a son”.  “I’m a lady, can you save me?”  “Everyone is gay.”  The original lyrics to “All Apologies” from his journals – “Boys write songs for girls.  Let me grow some breasts.”
I mean they’re song lyrics.  There are all kinds of ways to interpret song lyrics.
Sure.  All kinds of ways.  You ever read Michael Azerrad’s biography of Cobain, Come As You Are?
Nope.
Azerrad spent weeks talking to Cobain.  He was Cobain’s biographer, but also his friend.  And he has his own interpretation of the lyrics.  For instance, Azerrad talks about all the lyrics about guns, and to me, now, I look at that, and I think of how he died, but Azerrad, when Kurt was alive, he looked at it another way.  He thought it’s about dicks.  “To paraphrase Dr. Freud,” he says, “sometimes a gun is just a gun.  But not this time.”  He talks about “Come As You Are”, where Kurt keeps singing “I swear I don’t have a gun.”  That’s not my interpretation.  That’s never been my interpretation.  That’s what this cis man says.  More than one cis man.  Kurt says Dave Grohl’s dad, he said the same thing.  Yeah.  There are all kinds of ways to interpret lyrics.
“By this time,” Azerrad wrote, “one begins to wonder how Kurt rationalizes being a man at all.  His first response is revealing.  ‘I don’t know,’ he says.  ‘Castration.’”  I don’t wonder how Kurt rationalizes being a man.  I rationalized “being a man” in all kinds of ways.  What strikes me is that he needed to rationalize being a man.  Had to come up with some kind of excuse.  It just strikes me kind of funny.
Kurt’s songs have meanings.   The lyrics to “In Bloom”, Kurt was pretty explicit about that.  The lyrics he wrote have meanings.  “Heart-Shaped Box”.  You know what that refers to?  When Courtney Love was flirting with Kurt, Michael Azerrad says in Come As You Are, “She gave Dave (Grohl) a package to give to Kurt – little sea shells and miniature teacups and a tiny doll, all packed into a small heart-shaped box.”  A tiny doll locked away inside a box shaped like a heart.  That was what I felt like before I came out.  A tiny phantom doll.  Kurt and Courtney first kissed after a show at the Cabaret Metro in Chicago.  Rumor was that they fucked against the bar, but they denied it.  What actually happened, Azerrad says, is that “Courtney had a bag of lingerie with her for some reason and Kurt ended up modeling the contents.”  And then they went to Kurt’s hotel room and they fucked.
You’re making it sound…
Maybe it was.  Because you look at that and you think that if it was like that, it was perverted and wrong, because that’s what you were told, that it’s a sick fetish thing, and I look at it and it isn’t.  To me, that’s normal.  That Kurt Cobain was sexually aroused while wearing Courtney Love’s lingerie, that’s normal.
Kate, he was a punk!  He hated jocks, and wearing a dress pissed off jocks, so he wore dresses.  He talked about wanting to wear a dress and piss on a redneck A&R man’s desk!  You think that was some kind of sex thing?
Sexuality is part of being a woman.  Part.  Rage – and Kurt Cobain had a lot of rage inside him – that’s another part.  Am I interpreting, am I looking at things from my perspective as a trans woman?  Yes, certainly, just like you’re interpreting, looking at it from your perspective as a cis man.  When cis people interpret things, their conclusion is never “they were trans”.  Never.
Ed Wood wasn’t a trans woman.  He was just a transvestite.  He was a man.
Pete Burns from Dead or Alive wasn’t a trans woman.  Sure, he got all sorts of feminizing surgeries, but he never said he was a woman.  Man.
Prince Nelson adopted a female persona, feminized his voice, and recorded a song about wanting to be a woman's girlfriend, but he was also a Christian and believed that being queer was wicked and sinful, and that's the identity of his we need to respect.  Man.
Richard Wright, who wrote the Phish song “Halley’s Comet”, spent most of the 1980s telling everyone he knew he was a transsexual lesbian named Nancy, but after being consistently treated like shit changed his mind about that, so none of that counts for anything.  Man.
Dave Carter was on HRT when he died, but he was just questioning.  He didn’t tell anybody for sure that he was a woman.  Man.
Quentin Crisp said just before he died that if he was younger, he absolutely would have transitioned, but wanting to transition isn’t the same as actually transitioning.  Man.
All men.  Always, always men, whatever they do, whatever they say.  I know how that works.  I was told all these same things about myself for decades, all these same reasons, and now, I don’t know, I guess people will make a personal exception for me, but for everybody else, the same old assumptions, the same old arguments, they still apply.  They’re still legitimate.
I thought we were talking about Kurt Cobain.
And the only way to do that is to talk about him in isolation.  There’s no larger context to consider, no bigger picture.  I can’t really know.  I can’t really judge.
I mean, everybody else does.  I guess I can’t tell you not to.  But all of this circumstantial evidence, all of the dresses and the lyrics that you I guess know the real meaning of – none of that makes him a girl.
Sure.  And nothing can make him a girl.  Because he’s dead.  Because he killed himself.
Oh, here we go.  After thirty years and countless speculation, you have at last uncovered the real reason Kurt Cobain killed himself – gender dysphoria.  Do you have a book deal yet?
Working on it.  And yes, people say a lot of stupid things about Cobain’s death, like it’s this big shock that this guy who hated himself and wanted to die killed himself.
Right.  He was pretty well-known for being a heroin addict, which isn’t exactly something that improves one’s quality of life.
Sure, but why did he start heroin?
I don’t know.  Why does anybody start heroin?
To help him cope with his eating disorder.
Wait, what?  Eating disorder?
You don’t know about that?  He had stomach problems, for a long, long time.  He could only eat certain kinds of food, certain kinds of food that wouldn’t make his stomach hurt.  Doctors looked but they could never find any organic cause for it.  Nobody took it seriously.  So he self-medicated with heroin.  “It was my choice,” he told Azerrad.  “I don’t regret it at all because it was such a relief from not having stomach pain every day.”  I know, though.  Lots of cis guys have eating disorders.  Doesn’t mean anything.
Kate there’s a lot of interpreting going on here.
Yeah, I guess there is.  Is that necessarily a bad thing, though?  Is that necessarily wrong?  Like.  You’ve seen The Matrix, right?
Only the first one.
Yeah, that’s fine.  So you know how important The Matrix is to a lot of trans women, right?
Yes, but I’m not really sure why.  Just seems like a retelling of Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” with extra fight scenes.
It’s pretty trans, though, right?
Clearly.  It was directed by two trans women.
And trans women who watch it – eggs or otherwise – find their own lives and experiences reflected in it in ways that cis people, like you, don’t.
I guess, but the fact that it was actually made by two trans women carries a little more weight with me.
OK, but what if the Wachowskis had died in 2000?  In, like… a car crash or something?  Does that mean The Matrix isn’t a trans film?
Well, no, because it’s still a film made by two trans women.
A film made by two trans women that speaks to the trans experience, and that is recognized by living trans women as speaking specifically to the trans experience.  The only difference is that, in this scenario, nobody knows the Wachowski Sisters are trans women.  And we can’t prove it.  We can’t possibly prove it, and nobody is going to just believe us when we say it’s a trans movie, that the Wachowskis were trans women, because they didn’t say it, they didn’t say the special magic words.  Self-determination.  You know what self-determination meant to Kurt Cobain?  I remember seeing Courtney Love on television reading his note, I remember her interrupting to say that he was an asshole, that what he was saying was bullshit.  She didn’t respect his self-determination.
Um…
“Pennyroyal Tea”.  Cobain told Azerrad “It's a cleansing theme where I’m trying to get all my bad evil spirits out of me and drinking Pennyroyal tea would cleanse that away.”  Pennyroyal is an abortifacient – but, Azerrad notes, only in lethal doses. 
Hell, not just that song.  The whole album.  In Utero.  The collage on the back cover, the one Cobain described to Azerrad as “Sex and woman and In Utero and vaginas and birth and death".  The occult symbols surrounding it, taken from Barbara G. Walker’s The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects1.  There was something inside Kurt Cobain, something inside him waiting to be born, but he was told, over and over, that it was a monster, so he killed it, the only way he could.  By killing himself.
That could have been me.  That could so easily have been me.  I was told all the same things he was.  We all were.  When I was 27?  When I was 27, I was addicted to benzos, benzos they prescribed me because I was trying to bury, trying to kill this thing, this thing I had inside of me.  I was a zombie.  Walking dead.  When I quit, I quit cold turkey.  Nobody told me about the withdrawal syndrome.  Nobody told me it could have killed me.  And if it had, everybody would remember me, everybody would think of me, as a cis man.  Forever.  They would perpetuate the Lie.  That’s why I transitioned, why I chose to go through all the shit I went through.  The writer and musician Margaret Killjoy, in 2017 she talked about what she went through the day before she came out:
“All I could think was: ‘Oh god, I don’t want to die a boy.’”2
I felt the same way, came out for the same reason.  I figured no matter what I did, I was dead.  I didn’t do it live, but to at least have an honest death.  I genuinely believed transition would kill me.
It didn’t, though!  You’re alive and you’re beautiful and I’m so, so glad for that.  It didn’t kill you.
It could have.  Still could.  Transition has helped, has made it easier­ for me, but it’s not that way with everyone.  People have been kind to me, in ways that they aren’t kind to other trans women.  Others of us… aren’t so lucky.
Who are we respecting, exactly, by remaining silent about our shared experiences, our shared perspectives, things we see that you fucking don’t, that you can’t see?  Of course I can’t prove it.  I can’t prove that I’m trans.  You can’t prove that you’re cis.  Cis people, though, cis people never have to prove anything.  Their prejudices are the null hypothesis3.  If I was to go out there and say that Kurt Cobain was a cisgender man, would anybody say I was wrong?  Would anybody object or complain?  Even though my saying that is an anachronism, is meaningless.  The word, the concept, it literally didn’t exist when Cobain died.  Have you ever heard the word “agnotology”?
No?
It means making a false claim to ignorance.  Claiming that we don’t know something that we do.  That we can’t know something that we can.  We know things now, Chuck.  We know what the symptoms of gender dysphoria are.  We know what it does to people.  How eggs think.  How eggs act.  How eggs die.  But we pretend we don’t.  We still pretend.  We pretend suicide is an individual act, even when we know it’s not, that the reasons for it are wholly personal.  We pretend that when someone dies by suicide, their reasons for doing so die with them.  And they don’t, Chuck.  We’re still dying, still dying for the same reasons Kurt Cobain did.  It’s not just that we aren’t allowed to recognize ourselves.  We aren’t allowed to recognize each other.  Individual choice or social contagion.  Those are the options we’re given.  And neither of them are right.  Neither of them are who we are.
Kurt Cobain wrote, thought, talked, died like eggs do.  I don’t care if he never said the magic fucking words.  We know our own.  We recognize each other.  And if someone is alive?  If someone is alive I will go my whole life without ever breathing a word.  Because as long as we’re alive, we do choose, and that means we can choose ignorance.  What I think, what I want, for someone else, for us, it doesn’t matter.  I do that, I follow that code, for the benefit of one person – the egg themselves.  Once they die, all bets are off.  Omerta no longer applies.  Kayfabe no longer applies.
To be queer is to be erased, to experience erasure.  I still hear straight men arguing, as if they have any right to argue, as if they know, that Emily Dickinson was not a lesbian.  Emily Dickinson!  I’m supposed to listen to people who say this shit?  I’m supposed to take them seriously when they say well, actually, calling Dickinson a “lesbian” is historically anachronistic, we can’t apply the standards of the present to the past, and Jesus fuck have you read her letters?  She liked girls.  She really liked girls.  Kurt Cobain was a trans woman.  Kurt Cobain was every bit as much a trans woman as Emily Dickinson was a lesbian.  Refusing to say it isn’t “respect”.  It’s perpetuating the crime perpetrated against Cobain, against every other trans woman who ever killed herself because of the lies we were told about ourselves.  No more.  Kurt Cobain was a trans woman.  I can’t, as an individual, say that.  I don’t have the right.  No trans woman can say that, individually.  But collectively?  All of us together?  The things we see in each other, we see those things in him too.  Not all of them, and not all of us.  Absolutely not all of us.  But enough of us.  Enough that we have the right.  We have the right, and I will fucking say it, and if you don’t like that, you can go fuck yourself.
Kate, are you ok?
I’m fine.
Do you want a hug?
Fuck you, Chuck.
OK, well.  I’m, uh.  Gonna go to the other room.  You should, uh.  Drink some water.  Stay hydrated.  Love you, Kate.
Love you too, Chuck.  Sorry.
Shhh.  It’s OK, Kate.  It’s OK.
1 Diane Purkiss criticizes the occult nature of Walker’s encyclopedia in "Women's Rewriting of Myth", in Carolyne Larrington (ed), The Feminist Companion to Mythology, London, 1992, p. 444: “In Donna Haraway's influential terms, these women may wish to be goddesses, but they are cyborgs all the same”. The work she’s referencing is Haraway’s “A Cyborg Manifesto”.  Haraway was, it happens, an academic advisor to the trans woman Sandy Stone, and her “Cyborg Manifesto” was a pivotal influence on Stone’s “The Empire Strikes Back: A Post-Transsexual Manifesto”, one of the foundational works of transgender theory.
2 Margaret Killjoy, https://birdsbeforethestorm.net/2017/06/im-not-even-going-to-try-to-pass/
3 Natalie Reed, https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
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AITA for tricking my grandma into misgendering her cat?
Background: my (19F) grandma (67F) is a southern baptist and pretty conservative. My cousin (Matt, 24M) is trans, he came out to his parents and mine about two years ago because he knew we would be supportive, but he waited until he was on T a couple months and was mostly transitioned socially before he officially came out to our less supportive relatives, like my grandma.
Since Matt came out to everyone else (which he did by showing up at family Christmas with a “hello my name is” sticker on, which I thought was hilarious) my grandma has refused to use his correct pronouns, name, or anything, saying “it’s hard to switch” as an excuse. Matt has cut off contact and everyone else in the family just kind of avoids talking about him around her.
I am in a weird situation because my family lives the next street over from where she does, and we have always been pretty close. Since she started being so shitty about Matt, though, I’ve put more distance and just stay polite when she’s over.
Okay so now to the AITA part. About two months ago my grandma wanted to adopt a cat, and my best friend volunteers at an animal shelter so we were helping her. We showed her pictures of some of the cats and she saw an older male who was all black with longer fur and said she wanted to adopt “her.” I started to correct her saying it was a male cat, and then realized the opportunity I had so I kept my mouth shut. I made a point to handle all the adoption stuff for my grandma so she never saw anything indicating the cat’s male-ness, and then brought home her new “female” cat, pink collar and all.
Last week “Miss Kitty” (such a creative name) got a paw injury and at the vet they told my grandma the cat was male. My grandma told me and my parents about it when she was over for the Fourth of July (we had family and friends over for barbecue, including Matt’s parents). I made a point from there on to continue using “she” for the cat and still calling “Miss Kitty” instead of “Mister Kitty.” It took her a minute to notice but finally she called me out and said “he’s a boy, stop saying she.”
I immediately snapped back with “oh so it’s easy for you to switch the name and pronouns of your cat but not your own grandson?” Everyone got quiet and she got all flustered, trying to say it’s different, but I just said “oh okay, so you put more effort into using the right words for a cat who doesn’t even know English, got it.”
My mom told me to stop and leave it alone. I said “I’m just saying, it’s pretty clear who she cares about more.” And then my mom told me to leave the table if I was going to act like that. I just got up and took my plate in the kitchen and finished eating.
After everyone left my mom lit into me and told me that what I said was cruel. I said I was just teaching her a lesson and that maybe now she would think about it different. My mom said that I just made things worse and humiliated her on purpose in front of everyone. My dad had been quiet but then just started laughing. He realized that I had been playing the long game, and it wasn’t a mix up at the shelter- I led my grandma to believe the cat was female. He basically said “that was wrong but also hilarious” and now my mom is mad at both me and my dad. When Matt’s parents told him he thought it was super funny and said he isn’t mad at all.
My mom wants me to apologize, but I am not sorry about what I said. I don’t know if I should feel bad about tricking my grandma, because I didn’t technically outright lie, I just didn’t correct her when she assumed the cat was female. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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dr3c0mix · 1 year
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO MORE TERATO WITH ZOMBIES?? /NF
YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD ABD TASTY, possibly a trans male reader who hasn’t gotten surgery yet? DONT KNOW IF THATS AGAINST BOUNDRUES
Smut pls😊
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*sniff sniff* thnank yuou
Zombie Horde with a FtM reader Who Hasn't Gotten Top Surgery Yet
CW: Smut, a bit of fluff, FtM reader w/o top surgery, chest touching??? horny zombies
💀 To be honest, they wouldn't care
💀 You'd normally use bandages or old binders because transitional surgery wasn't an option when you were busy making sure your bunker was safe, your food stock was full and so on. Sure you wished you'd gotten one sooner before the virus but there are more important things...
💀 You were in your hidey hole without anything binding your when Soda came in looking for you.
💀 He went to cuddle next to you when he felt something soft and squishy, he tilted his head and poked at your chest which made you yelp.
💀 His little mate has squishy parts in the chest? he doesn't remember that, he's confused as he's never noticed you with any squishy bits in that area, in fact, you always had some kind of armor or something for some reason, were they organs spilling out? Now he can't have that! Humans need those he thinks!
💀 He chitters worryingly, trying to pull up your shirt to help you push back in your organs, but you kept pushing him away.
💀 He eventually gestured to parts of his body that showed his rotten body making a pushing in movement, you let out a long ooohhhhh and assure him it's not that.
💀 You explain to him (to a degree) and he explains it to the others.
💀 Bo thinks he remembers seeing bandages on others because they're hurt so the first time you show him, he's all over you comforting you so his little mate won't be sad that they got hurt. He is very much blaming himself, but Soda quickly explains you're not hurt at all.
💀 They start looking for bandages, binders, sports bras, compression wear, anything that looks like what you usually wear.
💀 Screw has a bunch of things he's hoarded so he goes through his pile looking for clothes and the sort that he think's you'd like.
💀 Ribs has the guilty pleasure of burying his face in your chest. You're just so warm and soft and squishy!!!
💀 If you ever feel gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, they'll sense you feeling a bit under the weather and love on you so much you'll forget all about it. Don't be sad, you're perfect!
💀 If you ever do get top surgery, maybe from travelling to a large community of survivors or other, they wouldn't change their feelings towards you.
💀 They's be curious about your scars though, Bo would be furious thinking they hurt you or ate your squishy bits or something.
💀 Screw is feeling your chest now feeling the new flat texture of your chest.
💀 Ribs does the same because they're best friends a- OH MY GOD YOU HAVE RIBS TOO?!?!?
💀 Soda is all over you seeing if you're ok. Did they feed you enough? Does it hurt? Do you need us to give you some love? Did you miss us?
💀 Can Ribs have all your old bandages and binders?
💀 If you have boundaries regarding your chest area, they will steer away from it, anyway, you have the rest of your lovely body for them to devour.
💀 If you don't, they'd be massaging your chest, cooing oh so softly reminding you that you're theirs whether you have surgery or not.
nsfw under the cut!!
💀 Bo loves your chest, he can feel your heart beating as he rubs his dick between your breasts, its so cute how fast it goes as you're being filled to the brim with their cum.
💀 Ribs very much prefers your thighs, running his hands up your body as he licks your sex with your legs wrapped around him.
💀 Screw is fine with anything as long as he gets to kiss you or throat fuck you, you feel so warm around him he could cum as soon as he slips his dick inside.
💀 Soda is a bit shy when it comes to breeding you, but if you let him, he could rabbit fuck you until you were a babbling, moaning mess, of course he'd go on to kiss you better afterwards, they all would.
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enden-k · 7 months
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remembering about trans!haitham headcanon, do you have any ideas you could share about it? (if that doesn't bother you) maybe about if his grandmother ever knew it, or if kaveh even knew alhaitham before the transition. maybe kaveh knows haitham's deadname? maybe kaveh actually helped haitham in his journey to affirm his gender? thinking about this makes me excited to do a fanfic about this AAAAAAAA-
ofc, i have quite a few (transhaitham just means a lot to me hhhsjdjk)
i like to imagine that his grandma knew and her love, care and support remained unchanged; all she wanted is for him to be content and comfortable, teaching him all that. she def helped him here and there; like seeing how he was bothered by his longer hair so she proposed to cut it short and seeing how his eyes lit up in his usual neutral face when he saw his reflection was prob one of her fav memories of little haitham. not only getting rid of the bothersome weight and heat of annoying hair but also seeing how he looked more boyish pleased him a lot (not that short hair = strictly masculine etc. you know what i mean there)
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(dysphoria is not "required" or smth every trans person experience(d), saying this right away (and also as a note to anyone actually unaware of this) - he def didnt experience it, just felt sometimes a bit bothered by some stuff) he just simply knew who he is and wanted to find more comfort with himself by aligning his physical appearance more with his feeling and identity (by transitioning)
(idk if i explain it well in english what i want to say. also def projected there)
so, kaveh and haitham def knew each other in the early stages; when haithams grandma passed away, he attempted to cut his own hair (usually his grandma did) and it turned out cutely shaggy and sloppy (not that it bothered him much, as long as it doesnt look too awful to him) kaveh couldnt take it tho and in a quiet homoerotic charged moment took it on himself to do it right and save it. haitham already went by his name there but if someone knows of his deadname other than his grandma back then, its def only kaveh as his closest friend
years after their falling out, when they meet again in the tavern it nearly had kavehs eyes bulging out when he recognized the person seating down next to him as haitham - so much broader and bulkier than he used to be (back then he was already working out a little just to stay fit and healthy and gain more muscle, but still much slimmer in early stages of t. but now? def could snap kaveh in half and he wouldnt mind at all), his voice deep but still that same aggravatingly confident tone---
(i just love the image of kaveh always being so attracted to haitham and haitham alone, always loving him in every way, for being himself just like haitham loving him in every way, always and without a break despite their falling out)
this is turning more into me being sappy about them than transhaitham thoughts LMFAO SORRY anyway i think kaveh helped haitham a lot with things like cutting his hair properly short or picking clothes (mostly bc he liked dressing haitham since he deems his tastes as awful) or showing him how to shave when he first grew facial hair, all that kinda stuff
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boyvibrator · 6 months
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T4T detrans kink not from transphobic trauma but from the longing of feeling desirable when you used to be a girl, when cis guys would want you. when you had long hair and hardly any body hair and straight boys flirted with you.
but you were trans. you felt awkward in that mold of girl and boy. you were probably gay too, and you liked these boys. but not in the same way they liked you, not the same way other girls around you liked boys. and you missed out on a lot of fun experiences growing up because of this
and now you’re on T. and that’s amazing. and maybe cis gay guys are even into you, and that’s cool. but they just… don’t really get you. and you don’t really get them. sometimes you kinda wish you could be that young girl again, and have the guys you’re interested in wanting your attention and putting in the work to have you as their girlfriend. you used to have that, but you missed out on those opportunities
and let’s say you try to hook up with straight guys. the problem is. not that many are gonna be into you, you’re too hairy, too many, voice too deep, and even if they are okay with that they just wanna fetishize your trans body. they’re not seeing you how you want to be seen. you want to be GIRL. you want to be feminine again and wanted
but with a trans guy? happily seeing you as a girl? seeing right through you, loving those curves and your soft skin and recognizing the girl underneath your transition? he understands and he gets it. and you see HIM how he needs to be seen. as the young man going after girls like he never got to when he was young before his transition. because cis girls just don’t get it. but you get it.
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deepcolorobserver · 7 months
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I really want a terf lesbian to coax me into detransitioning
At first she pretends to support me and my transition, pretends to be a trans ally, says all the right things to befriend me and we hit it off. She's cute, funny, and for a while we're just friends.
We flirt a bit, always silly and joking and friendly. The kind of thing close friends do, until one day she admits she sees me as more than a friend. And god it's exciting, it's exhilarating, it makes my heart flutter. Who cares that she's a lesbian, maybe I'm the exception. Someone she likes enough to look past conventional desire.
So we start dating, a casual fling, but the sexting is HOT. She doesn't use preferred terms for my anatomy, always says clit instead of tdick, always asks for tit pics, but it's okay, a lot of the transmasc terms are a little clunky in dirty talk anyway.
She tells me I would look good with long hair. Men can have long hair right? I would be so pretty, such a pretty boy, so I grow it out for her. My hairline starts receeding on T and I'm worried about it, I confide in her, and she suggests stopping T. I got the changes I wanted, right? It's better that I don't hate myself for the changes I don't want, and she's right, even if she says it's mutilating me now. So I stop.
The whole relationship has been digital, and we talk a lot about meeting in person. Joking around, of course, neither of us have plane ticket money. But one day she asks for pictures in panties and a bra. I don't own those anymore, so she offers to buy me a pair. It's not feminizing, and I'm into degradation, she says. Men in lingerie can be degrading, and it would suit me. So I agree, because the idea is kinda hot, and I dress up for her. She's right, it is hot, even if it feels so wrong.
Slowly, she starts to introduce terf rhetoric to me. Very subtly, starting with ideas I can agree with and pushing more extreme views onto me. It makes me hate myself, of course, for transitioning and living as a man. There are lesbians that use he/him, she tells me. And if I were a lesbian, we could make "I'm in lesbians with you" jokes. The rhetoric swims in my head. I'm a lesbian, yeah. I still identify as a man, for a while.
One day it comes to light that we live in the same city. We can meet up easily. And it's like a revelation, a sudden flip. I'm with her almost every day, I'll stay over several nights at a time. Always in the lingerie she keeps buying me. I'm wearing it all day, wearing it to work, just so she can take off my clothes and see it when I get to her place. It's not long before we move in together. She calls me girly pet names, things you would never call your boyfriend. And the wrong feeling, all it does is turn me on and endear me to her.
The day I bring up top surgery, she spends a very long time sucking on my tits, kissing them all over. Don't do it, she tells me. I look so good like this. It compliments my body type, I'm meant to have tits. She makes me say it, say I love my tits. She makes me say that I love my pussy, I love all the things that make me feminine. I'm crying as I say it, but I tell her I think I might be a girl. She says I always was, and always will be. My biology was made with a purpose, and I'm meant to be a woman. I ask her to use she/her pronouns, to use my dead name in bed. We scissor and I cum harder than I ever have, all because she uses my deadname. If it feels this good, how can it be wrong?
She misgenders me outside of bed anyway. Soon everyone is using my deadname and she/her. I'm so wet all the time. She takes my body every night and uses me to pleasure herself. She makes me cum while telling me what a beautiful woman I am.
She convinces me to get pregnant with a surrogate. We both want kids, and this is the only way to do it. The whole time she talks about how beautiful the process is, what a lovely woman I am, fulfilling my purpose. She holds my hand as I birth our child. I forget all about wanting to be a boy.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 3 months
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girliest girly girl
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words: 800
warnings: trans!reader (mtf), brief transphobia (hate comment), gender dysphoria, established relationship, soft!rafe, social media au briefly at the end featuring my shitty photoshop (face claim: hunter schafer)
“what's that look on your face for princess?” rafe tsks, instantly recognizing that something isn't right, ready to beat the shit out of anyone who could have caused you feeling down.
“it's nothing.” you shake your head, curls flopping as you do, having just done your hair, hoping it would help.
“lie.” rafe calls out, always one to see through your bullshit, never able to hide your feelings around him.
“fine.” you sigh as rafe takes a seat on the couch next to you, his hand coming to rub over your knee, exposed by your shorts.
“i just… i got a mean comment on my instagram post. calling me a dude. it's made me feel really dysphoric.” you admit softly. you don't talk to rafe a lot about being trans, mainly because it doesn't affect your relationship a lot. you transitioned fully before even meeting rafe, and had such a nonchalant response to you telling him you weren't sure he understood at first.
“ah, shit baby.” rafe sighs, struggling with the internal battle of making you feel good versus finding who left the comment and breaking their thumbs for typing out something so vile they knew would hurt you. ultimately, the pout on your face makes him put his anger away. “what can i do to help pretty girl?
“i don't know.” you admit with a sigh. “just kinda wanna… wanna do something to distract myself i guess.”
“i see you did your hair.” rafe comments. you usually keep your hair straight, only curling it on special occasions because it takes forever with how thick and long your hair is.
“and your makeup is beautiful.” makeup you did do every day, finding it helped with your gender dysphoria and was the final step to making you feel like you.
“thanks rafey.” you smile gently, already starting to feel better just from being in his presence.
“why don't we go shopping and out to eat?” he offers. 
“i would really like that.” you admit. getting out of the house will probably help as well, not giving you the opportunity to sit and scroll on your phone, negative feelings just building up inside of you.
you finish getting ready to go, putting on a pair of heels that you don’t usually go for, especially since you would be doing a lot of walking since you’re going to be shopping, but they always made you feel good.
“my beautiful girlfriend.” rafe smiles, making sure to use a lot of gender affirming words whenever you get feeling like this.
“thank you baby.” you feel your face blush as he laces your fingers together, walking you towards the car. he helps you up into the truck with it being so tall and your heels making you wobbly.
“where to first? sephora?” rafe questions, and you realize that he must be able to see through everything to how bad you were feeling if he’s willingly offering to take you to sephora.
“yeah and then i thought maybe we could go to lulu? they released a new color of my favorite skirt and i really wanna get it.”
“anything for you darling.” rafe says, reaching over to squeeze your thigh.
--
“i hate to bring it back up, but how are you feeling now?” rafe asks as you lay back on the bed, tired from the long day of shopping.
“totally fine now. i swear i walk into zara and feel like the girliest girly girl.” you giggle. 
“look at you in all pink, of course you’re a girly girl.” rafe rolls his eyes, changing his shirt into a more comfortable tee before crawling into bed next to you.
“oh shush.” you swat at his chest before he pulls you into him, tangling your legs together. 
rafe smiles at having you pressed against him, taking your hand in his as he plays with the rings stacked on your fingers. “look at your nails baby, even they are pink and sparkly.” he chuckles. “you should get blue for me next time.” “i can get a little letter r charm too.” you mumble, burrowing your face into rafes chest, knowing your nail girl is so talented and able to pull off any look you ask.
“holy shit, they do that?” rafes eyebrows raise, thinking he’s going to make incorporating his letter or name in all of your nails a rule from now on.
“mhm. i could get gems, pearls, anything.” you shrug, scratching your nails over the back of his hand.
“i learn so much being with you.” rafe says honestly.
“i learn so much being with you too, just most of it is about golf or sports.” you scrunch your nose up.
“golf is a sport!” rafe immediately argues, making you roll your eyes. “we are not doing this again!”
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taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0
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redditreceipts · 2 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/rickmctumbleface/743164057237012480?source=share
🤨
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so this seems very weird, especially because there is no source provided. but I've still been recovering from a cold, so I had some time on my hands and searched with Google's reverse image search feature what the source of this weird ass graphic could be
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I clicked through several posts that all gave 0 sources, until I finally found a lonesome twitter account that linked an instagram account
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deep in the comments of that instagram post, I was finally able to find a source! the graphic was based on this other graphic:
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so this person marked the different states based on their own criteria:
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for example, a state gets marked as high-risk if you can't change your birth certificate, and you're forced to out yourself when you have to show your birth certificate. and I am not from the United States, but according to what I found, you only have to show your birth certificate at occasions like getting a social security card or getting your citizenship. so like maybe five times in your life?
also, I'm sorry to talk about looks on here, but for many trans people, they won't be outed only if they show their birth certificate 😬 Erin Reed, the creator of this map, is certainly not a candidate to go stealth until they ask for a birth certificate
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another point of contention for Erin was states banning "80 percent" of care. that made me take notice, because I believe that every adult should be able to do with their bodies what they want and part of that can be medical transition. So I clicked on the link that Erin kindly provided, and looked at what these horrible restrictions look like
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okay, so these unimaginable horrors limiting trans healthcare are:
you have to sign an informed consent form
a physician has to oversee your health care
you have to see that doctor in person
the doctor can say that he doesn't think transitioning is the best option for you
What??? That's the "80 percent restriction" that the map was talking about??? wtf? like, I don't know about American healthcare, but how the fuck was it administered before? did they just give you the drugs without any doctor overseeing them?
Idk maybe I'm not seeing something here but this entire map just seems so weird to me. Like, you are allowed to go to these places. Some of the policies are certainly overdone, but they are acting as if they would be literally killed or harmed if they went into any of these States. I guess I have to agree on the "getting into prison if you use them wrong bathroom" one, because that really does seem to a bit much, but the rest? It's literally just fearmongering.
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soaln · 2 months
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‼️⁉️🙏🏽 Gotta be the first to request you know what I'm saying
Can you make a poly relationship between the male reader (preferably FTM but whatever works), Sanji and Zoro!
It can be any scenario because I can't think (don't be angst, not trying to cry my eyes out.)
- Mr. Off
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╰┈➤ ZORO & SANJI
🎀 ;; fluff,male reader (ftm),poly <3,fem dni,bad grammar,idk if it’s angst(im sorry 😭if it is),lazy at the end,ooc(like always)
🌸 ;; got not idea for an one shot
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HEADCANONS,,
• The thought of dating both Zoro and Sanji was something that you didn’t expect. You never thought that’ll happen.
• when you first interact with Zoro and Sanji it wasn’t like love at first sight you were quite distant. They didn’t mind of course.
• you started to get along with Sanji,because of your cooking skills how bad/good you were at it. Then with Zoro it’s mostly because of some missions/adventure forced both of you to socialize a bit to not be awkward.
• As the months passed, you began to develop some feelings for these two people. At first you didn’t thought much of it but when you started to realize this love who was more than that of a love of friendship,you panicked.
• Sanji was huge womanizer and Zoro,well you didn’t know much. You began to deny those feelings.
• after finding out this feeling,talking to them wasn’t like before it wasn’t smooth and sweet it was hesitant.
• Sanji was the first to notice your change of attitude. He always observed you whether from far or near [kinda creepy].
• when you came in the crew he didn’t thought much of you,women was his top priorities.When you mentioned your cooking skills he wanted to see how ‘good you were.
• that’s what made you guys closer than b4. The cook started to caught some feelings for you,he didn’t want to believe it,him falling for a man ? And it took time for him to realize his feelings[you’re totally his bi awakening w Zoro🔥]
• Finally,Zoro,he realized your change of attitude when he was talking and he just turned his head around for few seconds you already disappeared.
• he didn’t know what to say he was just irritated. It also took a while for Zoro to start having feelings for you.
• You guys got closer because of a random situation you guys got yourselves into. He first impression on you was that you’re gonna be as annoying as Sanji [judging by your looks] he thought wrong.
• Zoro isn’t best with emotion and everybody know it. When he find out his crush for you well he asked Robin some help she was kind of surprised ‘cause Zoro seems like a person who wouldn’t fall in love with someone but she didn’t judge and said ‘you should confess first,[Name] isn’t the type to confess first.’
• When Sanji found out about Zoro’s crush he wasn’t happy about [ofc he wouldn’t 😒] but he decided to not fight about it.
• He chooses to share you,Zoro was surprised by that but he didn’t mind it the rivalry between them was still there.
• They both asked you out,you felt your face turning warm and you mumble your words well you accept both of them.
• The first time getting together was quite awkward none of you really dated someone.(maybe sanji)
• but you guys started to get comfortable after few months. Sanji and Zoro started to fight over you,of who could make you feel better.
• at first it was a little annoying but you get used to it.
• When you guys go on dates it’s really funny [for you specially] seeing them fight makes you laugh for some reason.
• baths. Baths with each other,well Sanji and Zoro are both male assigned At birth,you were ashamed of your chest scars and genital pars and so uncomfortable.
• They didn’t want to force you,so they waited until you were comfortable.
•but you finally decided to fight it and tell them that you’re a trans guy,well they aren’t the first person you told about your transition [it was chopper] and you knew they will not care about it and support you.
• It was in the kitchen,Sanji on Zoro were both here. "I’m trans." You blurted. Zoro was the one who was the most confused in the kitchen,but he didn’t cared about it so much he supported you and told you that a man shouldn’t be ashamed of his scars.
• Sanji was supporting you,and will be helping you the most in your dysphoric day calling some randoms manly petnames to comfort you.(he’s such a bbg <3)
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drdemonprince · 3 months
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I'm curious to know your take on the whole fujoshi pisscourse because I'm semi new to it and no matter how much the internet says I should be appalled that some cis women flick their beans to gay stuff... as a queer guy I simply cannot bring myself to care. I have experienced cis straight women in queer spaces being rude or even sexually inappropriate, especially to performers, but I just don't see the relationship between that and the girls watching gay porn. And I've also seen people argue that it's bad because cis straight women who are artists will write/draw stuff about gay men that's inaccurate... but again I don't see this as nefarious as the twinks on tiktok want me to believe it is, like who cares.
Yeah, I'm with you 100%. What a person gets off to is their business and no type of porn belongs to one identity group.
My gay male bestie in high school got off exclusively to straight porn -- he found the women in straight porn easier to relate to than the types of big, masc guys that get depicted in most gay porn videos.
I watch porn of any fucking gender combination because what I care about is the hypnosis and power exchange, not the people involved.
I know this couple of two trans women that broke up when one walked in on the other watching gay male "sissy" porn -- she considered it an insult to her own identity and worried that it meant her trans femme partner wasn't "really" a woman or didn't see her as one. It led to the disastrous, messy termination of a relationship of many years, and the entire basis for the rift was nonsense.
I like a lot of detrans kink / forced detransition porn because of my own insecurities and worst fears. It strikes a chord in a hot way. Before I transitioned, I looked at a lot of gay male porn especially of the silly fanfictiony variety because it gave me something to project my longings onto.
Lots of trans mascs are "cis female fujoshis" like that. And yeah, some cis women are too! They may like the escape from conventional gender role baggage, or they may have some latent gender-fuckery of their own that the fiction is allowing them to explore, or maybe they just like guys a lot and so seeing two guys together is twice as hot to them. No amount of discourse is gonna keep straight men from watching lesbian porn. So let's leave the girls to whatever gets them off!
(incidentally, I know a lot of lesbian fujoshis too).
We shouldn't be policing what others' eroticize. A person's identity has no bearing on what they might find interesting to look at or fantasize about. What matters in terms of 'protecting' the queer community is having guidelines on behavior.
The problem with cishet women being predatory at the club isn't that they're cishet, it's that they're groping people, getting in people's faces, and being rude. Anyone of any identity can do that. The only way we can prevent bad behavior is by having rules and procedures in place for dealing with it in anyone. Not by restricting which identities are allowed in the door -- that will only ever play out in a transphobic way and a way that's hostile to the questioning and closeted, and I'll have no part in it.
And certainly none of us have any business butting into what sexual thoughts play between a person's ears. There are no thought crimes. There are no emotion crimes. There are no arousal crimes. There are only behaviors that can hurt others, and if someone's actions are respectful and harm no one, their identity and what they get off to is completely their business.
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treeofnonsense · 8 months
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So I'm going to preface this by saying: I am cis as all hell. I'm not any form of trans or nonbinary, I have never been any form of trans or nonbinary, and thus I tend to stay pretty quiet on that front over here. Ain't my place to tell people who know better what to do, and I'm not trying to do that here. However, after having made a lot of friends under the trans umbrella, after being lucky enough to have some of those friends share with me some of their struggles, their joys, their lives, and after noticing a couple of patterns in their journeys... I think there is one message I would like to share that may help some of you to hear, if you'll give me a minute of your time, and I think it may have to come specifically from a cis person.
The message is this: If your cisgender friends are good friends, you being your true self is not a burden to them.
For the people in the back: If your cisgender friends are good friends. You being your true self with gender. Is not a burden to them.
I didn't know my friend in high school was trans until he transitioned socially and I heard his new name. He didn't tell me first because I was raised fundamentalist Christian and probably did not look like a safe person to tell; when I pulled him aside in class so no one else could hear us, told him he could tell me to buzz off if he was uncomfortable, and politely asked for confirmation on pronouns, I remember the surprise and joy on his face. It took me about five minutes of chanting his new name and pronouns in the shower to get it to stick in my brain. That tiny amount of effort was nothing compared to seeing him pull himself out of the depressive funk dysphoria had put him in, of celebrating senior year when he legally changed his name, of drawing him a snowflake dragon for Christmas and hiding the trans flag colors in the shimmer of the ice so it would get past our conservative school's radar. We became closer friends after he came out because I knew him better and he knew he could trust me. He got me my first ace ring. I was not only supporting him, but learning from him, and sharing in his joy.
The genderfluid roommate in college took me a little longer to adapt to, I'll be honest, I was still learning, but hey - it turns out it's not really that hard to check the pronoun pins on a lanyard before you address someone. It's pennies when that person comes along to teach you the wonders of thrift shopping and takes you to meet a drag queen for the first time. I've met so many people online whose identities I do not always intuitively understand, but who I support anyway, and who have made me consider so many new things. It's not a burden to know about my friends' journey when it comes to gender, it's a privilege to know them more deeply and be trusted in that way. It's a new dimension to this person I already love, that's all.
Look, I am not saying that all your cis friends are going to be perfect, that we're not going to fuck up occasionally because we don't know better or we had a bad day, that we understand everything - we're not, we will, and we don't. I am not saying that everyone is a safe person to talk to either - god knows that's not true, unfortunately. But. If your worry about expressing yourself is of being a nuisance, of burdening someone with your problems or needs, of being too much or too out-there or too confusing, consider this: Your friends may not only be willing to learn and help you, they may be happy to. In a true friendship, both people benefit from one person's joy. If you're happy because you're able to be your honest self, they'll be happy too. Suddenly that weird shyness and sadness they saw from you but didn't know the cause of has gone away. Heck, maybe they'll learn from you and start following in your genderfunky footsteps. Or maybe you'll just have a cis friend who texts you celebration emojis when you have a good gender day, or is there when you wake up from surgery, or goes shopping for new outfits with you, or even brings over ice cream when you're having a hard time. And then you both get ice cream. Come on. This is what friends do.
Be safe, of course. Trust your judgment when it comes to sharing information. But if you're simply scared, try to balance out the fear of what you may lose with the thought of what you may also stand to gain. Don't let the anxiety beast turn your identity into a problem. It's not a burden, it's a part of you, and the people who love you will love to meet it.
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certainty2witch · 19 days
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Pls read before clicking the pics!!
Croco is having a body dysphoria moment in this drawing and the description under the sketches is about his life, so pls if you are sensible to pre-transitions and transphobic (Croco father was) thematics, skip my post 🙏🏻
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In my imaginary Crocodile as a child, wasn’t accepted in his father’s crew since as a afab he wasn’t allowed (his father never accepted him being a trans boy, he always used female pronouns and also his deadname).
Then he met Ivan, around 24/25 y.o., they reminded him who he always was no matter what, and totally supported him.
I personally thinks the scar was self induced, you know like Luffy did. Maybe for proving to his father that he is a man (the father believed in things like: “a real man can handle pain”)
After Iva used his powers on him, well he felt finally complete.
I guess he has fr a huge debt with Iva.
Pls if i said something wrong, correct me!
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beanghostprincess · 3 months
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Sanji transitions to a woman living her best life with her crew. The vinsmokes find out the typical reactions indifference (They're kind of like kaido. Yeah, they're terrible, abusive, neglectful but they're not transphobic Jud is but the siblings are not).
Her sister is upset that she never got to spend time with sanji as sister.
Ichiji doesn't like that she looks so much like their mother it makes his feel something he doesn't know what it is happiness sadness maybe both but not enough to truly care about his sister.
yonji feelings are complicated. He's really angry, really angry. Looking at her bounty just makes him scowl she looks so nice and pretty. She also looks so happy and free not worried about judgment or slander from family and peers he hates it. He hates this weird feeling and he hates sanji. She's happy and living her life with her loving and accepting crew and he's stuck at home unable to open up about anything without backlash
( the weird feeling is envy specifically gender envy. Trans girl yonji she would be the most cold hearted girl on the planet but she'd be so pretty)
Niiji stopped caring about Sanji when she left the second time. Her being a girl now doesn't change anything and besides you could see the signs from mars of course she's a girl. He used to watch her play with her sisters doll all the time before throwing them in the moat
Jud nobody cares about his opinion
Transfem Sanji my beloved yayyyyy I love these asks!!!!!!
Reiju would be extremely happy for Sanji, of course, but a bit sad she couldn't be able to help her sooner. Because maybe- And this is unfair but- If maybe Sanji had been born a girl, perhaps Judge would've let some of the stuff she did slide the way she let Reiju be a little bit more emotional. Everything would've ended up the same, yes, but Reiju can't help but wonder. And also, she's dying to see her and her crew again to finally spend time with her sister. She isn't sure if she'll ever be able to do it, but Sanji's wanted poster kind of keeps her hopes up.
Ichiji is conflicted. Because he shouldn't care about Sanji at all. He doesn't care. Is she a girl now? Good for her. Whatever. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with her life. And yet he keeps finding himself staring at her wanted poster rather often, and seeing her mom in her. And he- He didn't care about his mom either. She's dead. It doesn't matter. But there's just something about Sanji now that makes him feel... Warm and melancholic and he hates it. He tries to avoid the subject completely.
Ohmygod- I love the idea of trans girl Yonji being jealous of Sanji's life and having gender envy. That's- That's so good. She shouldn't be able to feel like this and she should not want these things like her sister but she wants to be like that. Be free like that. And that makes her so, so angry and violent and she's constantly talking shit about Sanji only to feel better but it only makes her feel worse.
Niji is... Complicated. Because he doesn't care. But I think he'd also be jealous of her. Like- Jealous of her being happy and free. But he accepts it better than Yonji because Yonji goes all sentimental and violent and visibly jealous about it while Niji tries to be more like "Huh? I don't give a fuck about her. Why should I? Why do we even keep mentioning her? And besides, you didn't know she was a girl? It was obvious from a mile away. Not that I care. Because I don't care. She rejected our pretty kind invitation to the family again because she's an ungrateful bitch, anyway" but he actually does care and it frustrates him but, anyway, it's not like she's here anymore so he doesn't think about her. I also think he'd be annoyed about her looking like their mom btw he says she doesn't deserve it since it was her fault she died (and then he realizes what he said and he shouldn't have said it because in theory, he doesn't care about their mom dying).
And you're right, nobody cares about Judge. But I think it'd be funny if he complained about Sanji and misgendered her all the time while the siblings keep getting the pronouns right and they kind of... Defend her? To some extent? They start to develop stronger feelings as time passes by and I just think it'd be great for them to finally lose it with their dad because "at least she managed to find herself, we don't even know who we're supposed to be" and it doesn't matter which one of them says it, because it affects all of them equally and they have the biggest identity crisis ever only because their sister finally is happy and they want to be like that too.
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