#maybe i should get assessed for it

[thebluemage]

Now that I think about it. I believe that I have ADHD too

[across-stars]

(he's autistic to me)

[send-me-a-puffalope]

why did my teachers think it was okay to give us like one single weekend to finish all of our midterm projects and study for our tests.

[pinkberrypocky]

pmmm rewatch live notes: ep 7

this episode is so good for the kyoko sayaka of it all. god the fucking tree of knowledge fruit of knowledge symbolism in this ep is SO

Kyubey is such a victim blamer

When Sayaka gets upset and ask why he didn’t tell them about the soul gems he says because they never asked which shifts the blame the them

The way he makes sayaka feel the pain of being stabbed to prove his point about teh use of soul gems is SO FUCKED

Hes trying to make them thankful to him for fucking with their souls by torturing them and saying look how bad it would have been

Mother gothel core tbh

The opening is madoka core madoka pov and the ending is homura core homura pov

I said this already but the part of the opening where madokami embraces madoka  makes me literally feral

Madoka is so upset and horrified by the realities of the situation that she is unable to accept them as reality and make decisions that have any real impact (again literally me fr)

Until the end of course

Homura looks so hurt when madoka asks her why she is always so cold

Her hair shadows her eyes and she looks at her marked fingernail with disdain

When kyoko leads sayaka to the church she is a black silhouette against a yellow/orange sky

Kyoko kicks down the door to the church and crushes a beam beneath her feet

Kyoko offers sayaka an apple before trying to convince her that being selfless is not the way to go

Sayaka rejects it 

Representative of rejecting the fruit of knowledge and stubbornly keeping naivety

Kyoko’s dad is lowkey just a cult leader who was really bad at it

The way kyoko holds the puppet of her dad up in the lore drop is representative of how she held him up in his religious efforts by making her wish

Kyoko also used to think of being a magical girl as a way to save the world but now she knows better

Sayaka is blank staring at kyoko during the whole story

She cannot truly listen to kyoko bc if she did she would see that kyoko is right and where would that leave her?

Kyoko says “If you wish for hope an equal amount of despair will come” AAAAAAAA

Homura wishes to be with madoka who is the personification of hope and in fighting for that she gets life after life of despair

Kyoko says that she only thinks about herself but that’s really not true at all otherwise she wouldn't be trying to enlighten sayaka

In a way kyoko is the same as her dad, preaching to others about how they can be saved only to never be listened to 

Sayaka condemns kyoko for stealing the food and has a weird moral high ground about not eating them because of it

As if she thinks she’s better for not having to steal

She so blinded by her view of the world at this point that she can’t recognize the class difference and privilege that she acknowledged in earlier eps

Actually speaking of the duality of kyoko’s wish reflecting her character that kind of applies to all of them

Madoka wishes to create hope/eliminate despair/loneliness and in the process makes it so that she is forever alone and takes on everything for everyone else

Sayaka wishes to heal kyosuke and ends up not letting herself be with him since she no longer sees herself as human

Mami wishes to stay alive and ends up dying in ep 3

Homura wishes for madoka and ends up in a world without her

When hitomi and sayaka talk about kyosuke and hitomi admits her feelings they are the only ones in the restaurant 

All the other seats are drawn in but empty

When madoka asks to come witch hunting with sayaka sayaka says “you’re too kind”

Mirrors what homura says often

Sayaka admits that she is failing at being a warrior of justice when she wished for a moment that she hadn’t saved hitomi so that she could be with kyosuke 

The reason she has such a big breakdown is bc this isn’t just about kyosuke its about her morals that she is living for being proved wrong in an undeniable way 

So what is she even fighting for?

When sayaka is fighting a witch that night she no longer cares about getting hurt since she knows she will be fine as long as her soul gem stays in tact

We only see her silhouette in black against a white background

Reflects her black and white thinking

The witch forms branch like shapes to attack her

Being attacked/hurt by the tree of knowledge

Blood on her face forms tears as she laughs and smiles widely

She says it works to detach herself and she doesn’t feel anything anymore bc her whole world has ended bc her ideals were her everything and now she can’t even have those

[fjordfolk]

also just bracing myself for if i eventually do pick out a sire for troja because frustrating and hypocritical etc etc but i will eventually end up sacrificing a known health result or two for untested factors

[carltonlassie]

I thought about digital detox and maybe, like, switching to a dumb phone where all I can do on it is make calls, send texts... But then I went outside and found out that it won't work because there's so many things that require a smart phone these days -- ordering from a restaurant, paying, etc. Also I miss convos on apps like discord and stuff. (Maybe good thing? Idk.) But again that'd require me to buy a dumb phone bc 3G is dead and old phones don't work anymore, so. That's more #consumerism that I'm trying to avoid.

So I decided to simplify the launcher on my phone so I only really see the apps I really need (mail, text, phone, camera) and the entertainment apps are hidden behind a second click. At least that layer of separation puts a stop to my brain mindlessly scrolling to find apps that I find shiny and scrolling in a different direction in said app! But it is definitely not as satisfying as carrying a brick phone and an mp3 player and an e-reader, and being like, ha! Look at me. I'm a retro warrior. Check out my phone that I can also use as a weapon. My e-reader battery lasts a whole month without charging. My mp3 player has a headphone jack. I'm not that cool yet.

(Speaking of e-readers, I wish there were phones with e-ink screens. All I do is read things on it. Imagine it was e-ink so it's easier on the eyes?! It would suck at videos and stuff and that's why it's so great. Making it impossible to waste time on it.)

I also feel weird listening to the same album over and over on Spotify because it makes fun of me at the end of the year, but ... That's how people used to listen to music until streaming services came out. They bought albums and listened to it over and over. So why shouldn't I? I've been downloading albums on Spotify and listening to them, but now I'm wondering if I should dust off my old mp3 player and put some albums in there. 🏴‍☠️

I keep on going back and forth between digital vs physical. Like sure, having physical things take up a lot of space and it's hard to carry it around, but then digital storage costs a lot of money and requires either a subscription or shelling out a lump sum to get an external drive... Which will run out of storage again in the future as you continue to fill it with things you love... It's so hard to find the right balance. I know drives aren't as fragile as it used to be but I also think about babying the device so it doesn't skip LOL like I'm not dealing with a hard drive with a needle here, it's an SD card, like c'mon.

Also I remember when apps used to be like, one time payment to remove all ads and unlock pro features! And now it's impossible to find ones like that unless it's an old app. It's all Free*! I hate that so much. Just take my money (once) and unbind me from thy grasp.

maybe one day I'll be free from subscription services. Because I hate having the mindset of oh, I paid for it. I need to maximize it to get my money's worth, and end up spending way too much time on it. Let me live my life on my own pace!!!!!

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

so i passed 🤭

[vicvinegarandhughhoney]

btw cliff was nervous stimming when mindy asked him to move in ………. squeezing his fingers like dennis always does

he WASSSSSSSS

cliff gilbert is so autistic

[mementokorie]

might have to slightly restructure a period of two hours in the middle of my day tomorrow and that's making me feel like I could burst into tears, if you were wondering how things are at the moment

[femmefaggot]

also talking about buffy is so fun to me. you may be autistic.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

me not functioning until like 4pm every day this week: ah yes, this is peak performance. this is what a Functioning Human Being™️ does each day when they're on break from work.

[equalseleventhirds]

also negl my focus is Bad rn, i am trying but my focus is Bad bcos i have too many things in my head and i cannot block them out. studying hard when real life commitments get in ur brain :( but i'll do better in the morning. i have so many energy drinks. that will be fine.

[loisroo]

girl if you see me suddenly acting weird or strange when we are out together it’s probably because the place/people that we are around immediately turn on the ‘DANGER’ switch in my little gay woman head.

[narutomaki]

irt to the last rh do I like the the added text pushed medication? no. but the og post feels important to give ppl a nudge about even if I don't support/fully support psych and diagnostics ykno? idk I reblogged it before rlly reading the full text the person added lmao

[1roentgen]

.

[iiivanillacreamiii]

does anyone else have like little rituals for their hobbies? like i drink stuff out of wine glasses and listen to specific playlists when i read, and i need to sit in one of 3 places when i draw, and when i knitt i need to watch anime, and i need complete and udder loneliness and silence when i play games. If i break any of these routines, i will actively cry or just not be able to do the thing im trying to do