#maybe i should try to finish it up tonight and post it tomorrow actually

[silverstreams]

REDEMPTION TURNS 10 TOMORROW I AM NOT READY FOR THIS

[yesimwriting]

we need more felix and lovie content i miss themmm

i miss them too,, i have so many drafts and half finished fics with them but i've had so little energy/time to actually finish any of them bc of finals

but i'm pretty caught up with school rn (by tuesday i'll be on summer break!!) so here's a bit of an i'm-sorry-for-being-absent drabble :)

The nail of your thumb drags against the edge of the page, finally getting the glue to fully adhere to the page.

You press your back against the wood surface of your desk chair to admire your handiwork. The background of your latest scrapbook page has come together just the way you wanted it to. You pick up the book carefully before turning your body.

"Lex," you beam.

Felix doesn't sit up fully, but he does lift his head. The arm holding up his copy of the latest Harry Potter relaxing. "Oh," he mumbles it in that way that reminds you of one of the things you like best about him. He has this talent for giving attention. Where other people would just be polite without a second thought, Felix takes the time to really look before commending.

He pushes himself up in a way that awkwardly squishes your pillow. "That's good." Felix straightens, legs crossing beneath him. "That's really good, Lovie." His thumb tucks itself between the pages of his book, a make shift bookmark. "The edges, the paper..."

"Thank you." Another thing you love about Felix is the fact that you can always tell he means his praise. You turn forward, setting your scrapbook back onto your desk. "You should make one."

The corner of his mouth pulls itself into a version of a smile that's so soft you almost miss it. "Yeah?" You nod. Felix's smile shifts into something more assured. "Maybe tomorrow night."

You try to picture Felix spending a Saturday night in either your room or his, cutting up scraps of paper and gluing them down instead of at a bar or some party. The thought makes your feel warm in that way that's so exclusively Felix. It also feels blurry, intangible in its unlikeliness.

As happy as it'd make you, tonight was already surprising enough. It's not like Felix goes out every night, and this isn't the first time the two of you have stayed in on a Friday, but nights like these are rare. You can't picture two of these in a row.

"Tomorrow?" You pull your legs out from under your desk, entire body angling itself to the side so that it's easier to look at him. "Tomorrow's Saturday."

He lets out a partial laugh. "And you're dying for a rager?"

"No," you mumble, dragging out the vowel sound in an attempt to sound more sarcastic. "But you like going out." You lean forward, resting your chin against the chair's back. "And it's not like I hate going out, especially with you..." You trail off, eyes shifting away from Felix and towards the bed post closest to you. "And I don't want to be the reason you don't do things you like."

For a beat, the only sound is the low, rhythmic tapping of Felix's pointer finger against the spine of his book. "I like a lot of things."

You lift your head. "I know."

"I like doing things with you."

The warmth comes back with a vengeance. You tap your thumb against the side of your seat for the sake of doing something. "Me too."

Felix shifts, extending one leg to make himself more comfortable. "Good." He's so quiet for a second, you almost think that might be the end of the conversation. You're about to go back to picking out the pictures to finish off the page you'd been working on when he starts again, "So you don't need to worry about me resenting you."

Your eyes narrow. "I didn't say anything about you resenting me." Your chin lifts slightly, an attempt at displaying your indignation. "Why are you saying it like that was an option?"

He grins, dropping himself back onto your pillow. "No reason."

You roll your eyes at his sarcasm. He's the one that came over to your room without being asked to. "Sure."

"What?" His tone implies nothing but perfect innocence. He picks up his book, opening it as if he's done nothing wrong. "Y'should come over here before the resentment sets in and I lose all interest."

You let out a loud sigh, but move to stand regardless. "Yeah, that feels like a real possibility."

When you don't move, Felix glances away from his book. "You're not gonna come over here?" He looks up at you, a hint of a pout playing at his expression. "I was kidding."

You cross your arms, fighting against a smile. "I just stood up." That's not enough to convince him to stop looking at you like that. You take a few steps forward with a sigh that's more out of habit than anything else. "You are so dramatic."

You sit on your bed, crossing your legs beneath you. Felix shifts onto his side. His freehand finds your knee. "You cried because of this book."

Eyes narrowing, you lean forward to get a better sense of how far into the book he's gotten. "Wait a few chapters."

Felix snaps his head in your direction, "Lovie. You said you wouldn't--" Your sentence runs into his, "I didn't--I didn't spoil it."

He frowns, watching you skeptically. "That was mean."

"You started it." You're aware that you sound like a little kid, but you can't help it. With a sigh, you give up, laying down. He's taking up most of your bed, but you're far from uncomfortable. "Fine. I'm sorry."

With little warning, Felix leans forward and presses a kiss against your temple. "Want me to read to you?"

You're used to Felix's random displays of affection, but every once in awhile something will take you by so much surprise you feel it more than you should. You blink. "Yeah," you mumble, hoping that your voice comes out even, "Sounds nice."

Felix shifts onto his back, one hand finding your arm and the other holding his book.

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy

[sugar-omi]

Okay so we've had leaving Cove for Baxter but what about an uno reverse card here? A post step 4 scenario where MC leaves Baxter and figures out they've always loved Cove?

P.S. Love, love, live your writing!!!

im so glad you sent this!! tysm for the praise<333 i feel like this could relate to this: question abt the reverse also i didn't think abt it then, n maybe i said this but to finish that thought. (eta now that ive linked it, BABE U LITERALLY RAMBLED STFU<///3) but baxter accepts your feelings bc he's desperate for love and he's pined after you for years. ALTHOUGH if i were to write it canonically, he would be so offended that you'd even bother and encourage you to leave cove before you hurt him. cove would do the same, if you confess to him he would Instantly lose all respect n interest in you and would all but spit at you if you did BAXTER WOULD ACTUALLY CALL YOU DISGUSTING AS WELL... i like to imagine cove would bc yk, i like the parallel, but he wouldn't and he'd prbly go "is that what you think of me?" bc he'd feel like a piece of meat in that situation

tags : Angst (w happy ending for you), Hurt/Comfort, breaking up w baxter, unrequited to requited love, falling out of love w baxter

synopsis : you break up with baxter because you realize you don't love him anymore. then you realize someone else is piquing your interest...

baxter is surprised, but he also expected this...

lately you'd been pulling away, and you've been lost in thought. and he's walked in on you crying a few times and you didn't want to explain to him why.

he feels his blood go cold, and he feels pressure wash over him.. he tries not to cry or choke up when he speaks.

he has to act like a gentleman. he needs to be understanding. he needs to be the strong one because you're sitting on the floor and crying, apologizing and hiding your face in your hands.

your sobs and shaky form hurts him more. he knows it's not your fault. it's his, in all honesty.

he left you so cruelly 5 years ago, and even though you've been together for a year and shared many happy moments with hushed giggles and loving kisses, you couldn't find the same love for him as when you were young.

baxter tries not beat himself up, pushing down his darker minds degrading chorus...

he puts a hand on your head, smoothing his palm over his pants. his palm hurts from digging his nails into it.

tonight is going to be rough. tomorrow will be harder.

"it's okay y/n. we had a good time together right?" baxter smiles. although the thickness of his voice makes you tuck in on yourself more.

he continues soothing you, ignoring the tears in his eyes. "i understand... we're so different now, it's not surprising it didn't work."

baxter's humorless and watery laugh makes you cry more, and you know he's crying now too. "we should stop looking back on the past now." baxter pets your head, trying to milk the last bit of affection from your dying relationship.

he feels like his world is opening up.

you turn your face away and wipe roughly at your tears. you know you look like a mess, but you feel so overwhelmed, and you have enough shame to not want to face baxter.

you finally look up at him, baxter lifting his gaze from his knees to look at you, glazed amber staring back at you. your heart clenches.

even though you don't love him the same way anymore, this kills you all the same.

"i'll... get my stuff tomorrow." you whisper.

cove was torn when you got with baxter.

he's always loved you, and when you still pined for baxter even after that summer, he got accustomed to putting his feelings aside to let your relationship grow.

but now you were sitting on his couch, looking distant at his fish tank.

your eyes were blurred with tears, and it took everything to curl yourself into the corner of the couch.

"y/n?..."

...

cove goes to call out again- "yeah?" you mutter, your words tiny and soft. weak. forced.

"what can i do for you?" cove wanted to gather up all your pain and take it away. so that the only thing left was for you to be happy.

...

you lick your lips, fixing your feet that were sliding off the cushion.

"i don't know. nothing for now." you turn and try to smile. "this is okay for now, i'm sorry for bugging you i..."

you swallow. "i don't wanna be alone right now."

cove comes closer, wrapping his arms around you, hiding your face in his neck. "i don't mind, i'll always be here for you."

it's silent for a long moment, the only sound being the TV cove didn't turn off at your insistence.

less sound meant your thoughts were louder.

you focused on the trickling water of the tank and it suddenly made you aware of how dry you were after crying.

you wrestle your arm free from the blankets and cove's hold, and you feel him watching your every move.

after drinking half the glass, you lean into cove's chest and take in the sound of his heartbeat.

cove is the only thing that keeps your head from spinning and the world from crashing.

you huff. this is frustrating. you're frustrated with everything, mostly with yourself.

"do you... wanna talk now?" cove inquires gently, rambling about how you don't have to but it might help.

you don't say anything for a bit, tracing the waves and lines of cove's tattoo.

"..even though i pined for him for so long..." you start, slowly letting the words come to you. "i thought this was it, i thought i was over him leaving me. but..."

you start to cry, so you sit up to turn around, hiding your face in your hands.

"i spent so long being sad that.."

"i spent so long being angry that.."

"i spent so long being angry then sad and missing him that.."

you swallow, muttering. "that i didn't even realize when i stopped loving him..."

it's quiet. and you don't look up to see if cove heard, but you assume he did since he asks a interesting question...

"then.. why are you so sad? i mean i get it, but..." cove groans, trying to word his thought carefully and correctly.

"i'm sorry.. it just seems like you're upset about something else, too..."

you exhale shakily, despising the tears still pouring from your eyes.

you take in what cove asked, debating what to say before you speak. "i thought this was what i wanted, but now i..." you start crying, overwhelmed.

cove just pulls you back into him, deciding that was enough talking for tonight, and now it was just about cheering you up.

it's been a few months, things are... different. some days are difficult. but most of them are better, just a bit mellow.

it took a bit, but your new apartment finally feels like home, and you can sit in the silence and solitude of it without feeling like your chest is caving in.

at least for today.

you and cove laugh, falling onto your new mattress after finally getting it through the door.

after the giggles die down, you flip over and look at cove. "thanks for helping."

cove turns his head to smile at you, "nah. derek did most the work."

"well, he's not here to receive my 100th thanks, so just take it."

cove laughs heartily.

lately, cove has started to look more handsome. ethereal, in fact. and you can't look away..

"y/n?.."

you hum, looking back at the ceiling. fuck you got caught.

"you're doing it again y'know?"

you whip around to look at cove, who has a smug grin on his face. "what? that's the second time you've said that! what does it even mean?!" you exclaim, slapping cove's chest with the back of your hand.

he laughs joyously, "like you're thinking philosophical thoughts!"

you roll your eyes, "ooo big words there, ocean boy. wouldn't you like to know about my philosopher thoughts." you mock, teasing cove with a grin you don't bother to fight coming across your lips.

"yep." cove pops the 'p', simply agreeing that he wants to know what's on your mind.

you watch each other in silence, and your eyes fall on his lips and he parts them to speak but you beat him to it, muttering lowly and if it wasn't for the emptiness and tranquility around you, he wouldn't have heard it.

"i'm thinking about how pretty you are..."

cove stills, you can hear his breath hitch and he stops breathing for a moment.

you continue, letting the water flow now that you've opened the gates.

"i know you've always had a crush on me, and please don't think i'm playing with you.." you swallow, keeping eye contact so as to will yourself to go on, although the depths of cove's glassy eyes make you flatter a bit.

you curl your fingers into your palms, keeping yourself from petting his cheek.

"at some point i started to.. realize just how much you are there for me. and i.." you lick your lips, "i love you."

cove starts to cry, and to that he sits up to hide his face.

you sit up as well, reaching out to cove's back. you don't know if you should touch him or not...

he cries for a bit. eventually, you do reach out, curling your fingers in the fabric of his shirt. you can't bring yourself to come closer, not sure how to comfort cove or if you even should, but you want him to know you're still here and waiting.

waiting for what? you're not sure.

waiting for him to seek your comfort? waiting for him to reject you? either way, you're waiting, and he turns around when he finally stops the waterworks.

"y-you mean it?" cove chokes, and you nod.

"yeah." you whisper, like any louder approval and it'll come off as half-hearted.

he pauses for a moment, looking at you. searching your gaze and trying to pick your brain apart.

"did you... break up with baxter because you...?" he can't say it, like he's not allowed to. like if he says it, it might shatter.

"love you?" you finish, "no. breaking up with baxter had nothing to do with you or my feelings for you."

"good, good..." cove repeats, sagging a bit in relief. "can i ask you one last question?"

"anything, cove." you assure, antsy to what will come out of his mouth. maybe this is all leading to rejection, but at least he'll know you loved him.

"you aren't saying that because i helped you through your breakup, right?" cove approaches softly. he doesn't mean to offend you, and you take none.

"no!" you lean forward, snatching up cove's hands. "i didn't say it right earlier.. what i meant was, i stopped seeing you as just a friend." you fret a bit, softening as you think about how you see cove now.

"i was hung up on what i couldn't have with baxter, and i know it sounds bad, but once i realized i was living in my head too much and didn't even know what i was feeling until after the fact.."

you intertwine your hands with cove's, looking up at him. "i realized life was so much better than in my head, and there was, is, someone greater than i could ever imagine."

you don't realize it until cove reaches up to wipe some tears from your cheeks. you laugh, "you're crying too, dummy."

cove laughs, holding your hand against his cheek.

"i've been waiting so long to hear you say that." cove cringes, "well... maybe too long. you're so hard to get over, i could never do it..."

cove looks at you with affectionate eyes.

"does this mean..?" you question, a bit egear but holding your horses.

cove laughs and nods. "yeah. i love you too, y/n."

you beam, taking his face in your hands and resting your foreheads together. "we'll take it slow, if it helps."

cove flushes, feeling a bit bold and is flustered by the fact. "not too slow, i've been waiting almost 17 years for this."

cove is the one to close the gap, swallowing your words before you can tease him, laugh, or agree.

you let him, letting cove pull you down to earth again and into him, as he always does.

[lilith-little-world]

Sneak Peek of Chapter 2|| The Isekai’d Oracle

Well, chapter 2 is done, just going to look over it and post it tomorrow. Sorry for taking so long and not being active here. Just been feeling, bleh. The meds I'm taking worked well until it stopped so I have been feeling tired. After updating the story I'm gonna post more here. I just stopped so I can focus on chapter 2 and finish it.

Also thank the season 4 special giving me some motivation and the last push I need to make me finish this. Wukong’s dad bod tho-

“Now this is more like it, Almond!” You said in eagerness, giving a small bowl of shredded meat to your dog. Today was a pain in the ass but at least you’re celebrating with a good meal tonight. A few meat and custard-filled steamed buns with actual soda and alcohol. Lately you have been drinking pure water or sometimes juice. Since they were cheaper. However, after a long week of work and this stressful day, you decided, you’re going to treat yourself. So you turned on the TV to some cable channel that had a Chinese Drama. Unfortunately, it was only in Cantonese, but hey better than nothing. You ain’t complaining. Spider Queen was extremely generous when she gave you an increase of pay. Maybe it was her plan all along to get you to be at…her little ritual.

Maybe you should try and ask around next time. You are going to work for Jin and Yin for a while. They might know something, maybe…

You sat in bed and stare at the TV. Almond’s fur brushed against your leg as she slept next to you. Full from her large meal. The show was entertaining enough, which was saying a lot since you don’t know what’s happening. Only get hints and clues from their expression and atmosphere. It was either this, the news, or educational channels.

From what you gathered, this drama looks old. The resolution was low and blurry. The show follows this priestess around and her weird encounters with demons or trying to be the best priestess she can be. It’s quite cute and funny. Then again, you’re half asleep and drinking alcohol.

“What?! But I thought you need some priestess stuff, why are you running off with that dragon?!” You shout at the screen. “Ugh, come on, you need to be more responsible.” Your words slurred slightly as you mumbled off. Dozing off, staring blankly at the show.

“Be…more responsible…”You mutter quietly. The words echo in your head. Tomorrow, you’re definitely going to organize your thoughts and make a plan on what to do next. You are in the show you been obsessed with for a while now.

Yeah, that’s what you’re going to do, tomorrow. Organize your thoughts, get info, and make a plan on what to do. You’re also going to have fun while doing it. Depending on when you enter this world, you can technically avoid all of the ‘bad events’ that are to come. What is the worse that’s going to happen?

You already worked yourself to death in your old life. There’s no way you’re going to do that in this life. You are going to have fun and enjoy this one.

A chill went down your spine, swearing the room temperature dropping out of nowhere. You put the plate and bowl on your nightstand with your drinks. Turning off the TV, you decided it was the best time to call it a day and rest. Glancing down, you see Almond stir and look at the window tiredly. Her ears were down and was shaking. Due to the dropping temperature or for a completely different reason.

“What’s wrong?” You gently pet her head. She immediately leans into your touch. You glance at the window and try to see what she’s looking at. The blind covers the window but there was no shadow or any indication of anyone outside.

Sighing, you got up and head to the window. Moving the blinds slightly, there was nothing, no one outside. Your hand grazes the freezing glass, making you pull away from the sudden coldness. Your skin tingling and burns from the sensation. As a cold and heavy feeling settling deep within you. Making your head spin.

“What the…”

Almond whines trying to catch your attention but you kept it at the window. You noticed a slight frost at the edges of the window. Again you reach out to touch it, almost as if it was calling for you, but Almond barks. Finally, you turn around to face her.

“What is it?”

“Woof!”

“I hope you do know, I can’t really understand you.”

“Woof, woof!”

“Do you want me to leave the frost alone?”

Almond nods and jumps off the bed. Trying to push you away from the window. Her paws nudges your knee and you took a few steps away from the window. A confused expression is written across your face. Maybe it’s best if you save this for a different day and maybe when you’re not tired.

“Alright, then I'll leave it alone for now. I won't go touching it, calm down.” You pick Almond up and went back to the bed.

“Let’s go to bed, alright? Now stop worrying about me so much, okay?”

You stroke her head and lay the small dog in bed. She was oddly anxious. You had never seen her this worried before.

“It’s fine Almond, just go to bed.”

It didn’t take much for her to go back to sleep. You quietly lay there for a few more minutes. You’re eyes glancing at the window and back to Almond.

A sigh escapes and cover yourself up with the blanket. Almond told you to leave it alone and it’s for the best. Who knows what will happen if you touch it? It looks like Almond does and that’s a good enough reason for you.

“I really hope this doesn’t lead to anything crazy.” You mumbled finally drifting off the sleep. Just wanting this night to end.

[bvannn]

Weekly Update December 29, 2023

I got surgery this week, which was apparently a lot more urgent than I had realized, since the removed tissue was absolutely covered in cysts! Doesn’t matter now, it’s gone, and I got time to work on artstuffs.

TRGA: I finally got a good bite of the props done, just kinda missing the actual playing table and background for the next few shots (plus maybe some miscellaneous ones, but I think I can do those in another big go at the end). I got a room plan for this and future TRGA animations too, so backgrounds should be nice and consistent once I get around to them. Also cleaned up 1-4 Tim, his face is all done, I’m developing my a faster method of doing faces in the future, and I started and mostly finished keyframing Jon for 1-5, so tweens would be the next step after I finish finagling all the props. Might take a bit more time than expected but since I know what kinds of props I’m missing now it shouldn’t be as hard for the rest.

Music: was able to move around my plugins and install the remaining stuff from Black Friday, as well as the trial version of Vocaloid. I’m not looking to dive headfirst into vocaloid yet but I’ll watch some tutorials once I get around to it, I’m more concerned about doing instrumental music production because I want to a) have something to show, b) have something to animate, and c) eventually add it as a commission option. With any hope my pain from surgery will be down tomorrow so I can take a crack at it.

On the topic of commissions I’ve been putting off redoing them for probably a bit too long, and to combat this I have made a spreadsheet, to be filled out over the next few weeks, of miscellaneous OC drawings so I can time myself and calculate appropriate prices. I’ll try to post those drawings here as they’re completed. TRGA is still going to be highest priority, but I’ll also keep trying at music and at general drawings. I’ve decided to drop the remaining October prompt sets I didn’t finish, due to lack of interest, and in order to make room to hopefully do that epithet erased weekly set I made. I’ll also try to do those comic thumbnails where I can (probably I’ll take another crack at them tonight).

And finally on the topic of epithet erased I’ll try to throw together a little campaign for friends to drag them into it, hopefully to stabilize my mood this upcoming semester. I have at least one ‘episode’ generally planned, just need to tighten up villain motivation and stuff.

Lot got done this week but a lot still needs to go. Tonight I’ll either do a timed drawing or timed music thing, followed by some comic thumbnails.

[moonseonghwa]

Cruel summer 2 - P.SH

Word count: 2,7k

warnings: none except seonghwa being a slight asshole in the beginning

a/n: posting this from my phone since i didn’t bring my laptop with me so i’m not able to place a ‘keep reading’ thingy. please bear with me and i’ll fix it when i get back tonight👍🏼

series masterlist

Two hours in and the humidity was almost unbearable. The sweaty bodies just got more and more and if it wasn’t for the dark-haired human puppy next to you, you would’ve left before even entering the place. 

Also, it would’ve been a bit better if the other man next to you would stop talking your ear off with all the questions he had for you, not that you had anything better to do though. 

You learned his name is Wooyoung, and honestly, you immediately hit it off with him because he was so extroverted— it made your introverted self a little more talkative.

Because after your little disaster with the still anonymous ‘bad boy’, you tried your best to find Yunho. It took a whole lot of bumping into people to finally locate the tall man in the backyard. You remember him immediately leaving the game of beer pong to introduce you to his other incredibly handsome friends who were, lucky for you, not complete dicks.

And here you were, a drink in your left hand that Wooyoung got you and the eyes of that one weird person on you continuously. Yunho made him introduce himself to you and the interaction was once again rather awkward and displeasing. His name is Seonghwa. That’s all he told you and that’s all you needed to know. 

Maybe he was a sociopath, or he didn’t really know how to talk to girls— scratch that, you saw him swapping saliva with some other girl not too long ago. Whatever the reason was, his pretty face is just a deception of what a real dickhead he actually is.  

‘’You’ve never surfed?’’ You gasped at the red-haired boy in front of you. 

‘’I just don’t like the sea and whatever might be in it’’ He shrugged, running a hand through his newly dyed red hair. 

‘’Hongjoong’s a pussy’’ Wooyoung said, making Hongjoong cock his head with a scoff.  

‘’Just kidding, take a joke Joong’’ He quickly added when the red-haired got up with a challenging look on his face, ready to fight Wooyoung. 

‘’I bet Y/n has never surfed.’’ Seonghwa spoke up making you turn your head in surprise because of his audacity to just assume things about you, after not even trying to be nice. If you had a blacklist, he would be on it already.

‘’I know perfectly how to surf, Seongwha’’ You bit back, not even realizing how quickly you felt attacked by him as his intimidating demeanor. 

‘’You should join us, show us your skills’’ Yunho said, making Wooyoung agree immediately as he already started planning when you were able to join. You settled on tomorrow later in the day so you could sleep in after this exhausting party. 

‘’I think I’m gonna head home…’’ You told Yunho later on when the attention shifted to another subject you were not familiar with. A lot of people had left already, and the music wasn’t playing as loud as before. 

‘’Want me to walk you home? It’s pretty late’’ He suggested.

‘’It’s not that far, I’ll be fine’’ You insisted, getting up and placing Wooyoung’s head — which was resting on your shoulder as he slept peacefully after drinking far too much — on the soft couch and finishing the remains of your drink before telling the others goodbye, except Seonghwa, who was not even looking at you. 

Yunho walked with you to his door before talking to you a bit more about how you learned to surf and if you still have all the equipment for tomorrow. You agreed to take Yunho’s surfboard tomorrow since you didn’t have yours anymore. The talk lasted until someone showed up behind Yunho and pushed him to the side gently, Seonghwa’s face appearing in the dim glow of the light outside Yunho’s house. 

‘’I’ll help clean up tomorrow, Yun’’ He said, making Yunho nod as he made his way outside with a wave.

‘’Aren’t you going to the same area as Y/n? You guys should walk together’’ Hongjoong suggested as he walked up behind Yunho, your eyes immediately widening before violently shaking your head. ‘’It’ll be safer, it can be dangerous at night’’ 

‘’I’m not a babysitter-’’ Seonghwa started.

‘’I don’t need a babysitter’’ You cut him off, earning a groan from Yunho. 

‘’Stop being so childish and start walking’’ He supported Hongjoong, gesturing you to go with Seonghwa who was looking just as bothered by the situation.

You walked off first, blowing past Seonghwa as he rolled his eyes and waved the guys goodbye. You were walking fast, but Seonghwa’s long legs easily kept up with you. You were keeping yourself from talking since you didn’t want him to think you had any interest in him, but the question was just bothering you. 

‘’I don’t understand why you don’t like me’’ You stopped walking to look at him. 

‘’Are you that full of yourself to think everyone has to like you?’’

ouch.

‘’Fine, why do you hate me?’’ 

‘’I don’t hate you’’ He plainly said, making you huff in annoyance.

‘’You’ve been mean to me the entire night’’

‘’Why do you care what I do?’’ A smirk formed on his face, the golden glow of the streetlight illuminating his face perfectly. You wanted to punch him just as badly as you wanted to kiss the smirk off his face because of how good he looked like this. 

‘’Well since I won’t get a proper answer out of you, let’s try this again’’ You looked down before looking back at him with a smile on your face ‘’I’m Y/n Y/l/n, nice to meet you’’ You extended your hand for him to shake. 

‘’What are you doing?’’ He asked, confusement lacing his tone as he stared at your hand.

‘’I want to start over, on the right path’’ You smiled, keeping your hand in the same place. Your gaze probably so demanding it almost scared him off. 

But he scoffed before placing his hand in yours. 

“Park Seonghwa’’ 

-

You decided it would be a good idea to get lunch at the diner first before you went surfing with the boys. So you sat down, once again at the booth in the far back as you waited for your sandwich to arrive. It was still unclear to you why Seonghwa asked you if he’s met you before.

Of course, he could’ve seen you here the first day, but that wasn’t a meeting. You swear you’ve never seen him before, or any memory with him was washed away in the time you spend busy studying for the university you wanted to get into so desperately. 

It was hard when your mom was sick, but she always wished you to graduate from a good university. So when her sickness got worse, studying as hard as you could felt like the only thing you could do for her. When she cured, you were glad you did, because the university was amazing and the job offers you’ll get from graduating there are plenty.

Getting lost too far in the trail of your thoughts you didn’t notice Seonghwa walking in and ordering a milkshake to-go until you looked up to see someone sliding into your booth. He was dressed in a black shirt paired with a pair of jeans.

‘’Aren’t you going surfing?’’ You asked, referring to why he wasn’t wearing something more casual if he was going to the beach. 

‘’We can’t surf, it’s too dangerous because of the wind later on’’ He replied, cocking his head at your ignorance. ‘’Yunho said he’d let you know’’ 

‘’Well, he didn’t’’ You scoffed, a pout almost forming which you refrained from showing, because why didn’t he let you know? You noticed the dark clouds while you walked here but you didn’t realize the wind was that rough today, making the thought pop into your head that maybe Yunho didn’t care about you.

Seonghwa noticed your thoughts as a frown was forming on your face. 

‘’Yunho’s really forgetful sometimes, I’m sure he didn’t mean to’’ Seonghwa said, this being the first time you heard his tone so soft. 

‘’This is new’’ 

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’You’re being genuinely nice’’ He laughed at that, making you smile in return. 

Something changed when you reintroduced yourself to him. The walk home yesterday night was surprisingly fun and he found out all kinds of things about you since you somehow can’t stop talking. 

You told him how fall is your favorite season, how you actually like rain, and your major in university. The usual 5-minute walk took way longer since you were so immersed in talking with Seonghwa that you missed the turn to your place. When he got home, he regretted being so weird to you earlier that night, but you just reminded him so much of his past love, who broke up with him in a cold-hearted way, that he couldn’t help but be annoyed with your face. 

After talking to you more, he realized how different you are, the complete opposite of her. 

‘’Sorry I forgot I was talking to you,’’ He said teasingly, ‘’I’ll go back to my usual self then’’ he added as you rolled your eyes before landing your gaze on the beautiful waves. 

‘’I wanted to swim though….’’ You frowned again, looking upwards to see the grey-covered sky. The ocean water was always a perfect temperature to swim in which you haven’t done yet since you came here. 

‘’We can go to the lake’’ He suggested, while innocently taking a sip of his shake.

‘’What lake?’’

‘’I’ll take you’’ He said, making you look up surprised. 

Seonghwa must’ve noticed the bewildered look on your face as he shrugged it off immediately. 

‘’You don’t have to come with me, I was going anyways’’ He obviously lied as he wasn’t planning to go at all. He just wanted to get to know more about you, wanting to get to know what was behind those wandering eyes of yours. However, he didn’t want to pressure you, knowing his exterior was not gentle. 

‘’I’ll see you around, Y/n’’ Seonghwa said in a low tone, getting up to leave. 

‘’I’ll come with you’’ You mindlessly said, making him look at you in surprise before nodding his head as you gathered your stuff to leave. ‘’Do you have a car?’’ 

‘’I have a bike’’ He said while he fumbled in his pockets to find the key.

‘’A bike?!’’ You laughed because, cute. 

But when you turned the corner, in front of you stood a black BMW motorcycle, Seonghwa getting the helmets out of the storage space under the seat. 

‘’Oh’’ You added when you saw the so-called ‘bike’ 

He turned to look at you, finding you with a shocked look on your face, making his mouth turn to a smirk, handing you the helmet before he got on it. You were standing there unsure what to do before he tapped at the seat behind him. ‘’Get on, and wear this jacket’’ He handed you the leather jacket. 

You gave him a doubtful look before wearing the jacket and climbing on, not sure what to do with your hands as he started the motor. He accelerated which made you shoot forward, your hands immediately grabbing onto his waist as he chuckled.

 ‘’Hold tight’’ He said before speeding away from the parking lot. You had to keep yourself from screaming at first, hands clutched around his waist and you wondered how he was able to breathe from how tight you were holding onto him. After a while, you opened your eyes to find out you were driving through the woods. You stayed close to Seonghwa, your face nuzzled in his light sweater as you smelled his strong cologne.

He pulled over next to a path leading into the woods, before stepping off the motorcycle as he glanced at you. He chuckled at your unsure face at what would be the best way to step off, before he helped you, his hands coming around your waist as he lifted you off it with ease. 

‘’Why did they make it so hard to get off?’’ You leaned against the tree next to it as you took off the way too big helmet and his leather jacket before handing it back to Seonghwa. He just laughed at you, amused by how you tried to hide your flushed cheeks. 

‘’Let’s go’’ You followed him into the woods as the lake appeared through the trees. There was nobody around and the only sounds you heard were your footsteps and birds chirping. 

‘’You said you were already planning to go to the lake, but you’re not wearing clothes to swim?’’ You remarked, noticing the black jeans he was wearing that looked really good on him. 

‘’This is a good place for thinking, if I wanted to go for a swim I could just go in my underwear, you know’’ He smirked at you, making you roll your eyes once again. 

‘’What do you usually think about when you come here?’’ You asked, pushing him to the left so he wouldn’t step into the rabbit hole he probably didn’t notice. 

‘’I’m going to start thinking you actually care about what I think’’ Seonghwa replied, as he walked on the deck of the lake.

‘’Fine, didn’t want to know your deep thoughts anyways’’ You scoffed before looking at the pretty view, your mouth almost opening in awe. 

‘’You wanted to swim, go for it’’ He pushed you towards the edge, catching you just before you fell in with your clothes on. You turned around to push him back, but he caught your wrists just in time, holding them in his grip as you tried to wriggle out of them. He tugged you a bit closer, making you stumble as you fell against his chest. You looked up at him, his plump lips being so close you could feel his breath on yours. As if time stopped, his eyes were only focused on your lips, not realizing you could easily see the desire in his eyes.

‘’The last one in the water is a loser’’ You whispered against his lips, getting out of his grip before taking off your loose dress, revealing your black swimsuit before taking off your shoes and socks. He was fast, but the jeans took longer as you dove into the water when he was busy with his shoelaces. 

‘’Unfair’’ He yelled before jumping in next to you. 

Both of you swam deeper into the lake, admiring your surroundings as his eyes were on you. You looked back at him, his wet hair falling on his face and the drops of water making their way down his sharp jawline. You leaned your head back in the water, enjoying the quietness of the lake. 

‘’Why did you ask if we’ve met before?’’ 

‘’I thought I knew you’’ He replied.

‘’Is that the reason you were so cold to me?’’ You asked, remembering the look he gave you when you spilled the drink on him, thinking it resembled recognizing someone you didn’t end up on good terms with. 

‘’You just made me think someone I used to know, at first glance’’ He began ‘’You’re nothing like her so you don’t have to worry about me being cold to you anymore’’

‘’As if I ever worried about it’’ You scoffed, making him smirk at your defense.

‘’Good, we can change the subject then’’ He said, thinking about something he could ask you instead, before settling on the one question on his mind.

‘’Are you dating someone?’’

part 3 coming soon…..

[dreamingphase4]

DREAM!ing Season 1/Act 2/chapter 1

The day after the shocking orientation

Yuma and Yanagi's room

Nito: Yumapi~~~~!!!!

Yuma: Nito, what happened?

Nito: Wow, what's with that look!? The dark circles under your eyes are terrible, aren't they?

Yuma: The deadline is tomorrow morning..

Nito: Wow, I see... sorry

Nito: But can I stay here tonight? I won't disturb your work!

Yuma: Did you fight with shishimaru again?

Nito: Huh? Whos shishimaru? I don't know anyone with that name.

Yuma: Amnesia..?

Nito: Stop being serious!!!!

Nito: Oh that Lawal bastard is so annoying~! I feel like he's going crazy from stress! Listen to Yumapis story~!

Yuma: (Did they fight again......?)

At a loss for what to do, I put down the round pen I'd been holding since morning and looked at the sofa, rarely I meet Yanagi-senpai, who has been in my room since evening, and should ask him with through his gaze "what should I do?"

Yanagi: For now, why don't we take a little break and listen to what he has to say?

Nito: senpai! Thank you....!

Yuma: (I lost my concentration, so I guess I'll take a break like Yanagi-senpai said...)

I placed my favorite drink in front of Nito, who was already seated on the sofa.

Yuma: This is the only thing in my room right now. Don't hesitate to drink it.

Nito: Wow, thank you for your consideration, Yumapi--

Nito: So what is this "Ultimate Musou Red Viper Link"?

Yuma: If I drink it, I can work without 3 days of sleep.

Nito: Are you asking me to drink it?! Konoyaro is telling you to not interfere with your work in a roundabout way!

Yuma: Do you hate vipers?

Nito: Have i ever met someone like you before!? Do you like Yumapikore?

Yuma: No I hate it. It tastes the worst.

Nito: What do you mean!?

Yanagi: Hey, where did the main topic go?

Nito: Ah... right sorry.

Yuma: Why did you fight with Shishimaru?

Nito: Well actually awhile ago....

Flashback

Nito and takomis room

Nito: Ah, tomorrow is flammable garbage day.

Nito: Shishimaru doesn't seem to be feeling well, so I'm kind enough to take care of him.

Present time

Yuma and Yanagi's room

Nito: Well, I was trying to be kind

Nito: For my friend who wasn't feeling well, I started sorting out the things that had been thrown away. And yet...

Yuma: What is with the tension?

Yanagi: Is it like a horror show?

Nito: I never expected something like that... ah I can't believe that something like that happened..

Flashback

Nito and takaomi's room

Nito: Garage buns are ~important~ what about paper scraps? They burn~

Nito: Qhat about plastic bottles? They don't burn~ my heart burns but it's not trash~

Nito: Hmm...? There is something strangely hard inside...

Nito: What....?! Why was something like this thrown away?!

Flashback end

Yuma and Yanagi's room

Nito: I found something horrifying. I can't believe something like that was in the trash can...

Yuma: I accidentally threw away a manuscript I had finished inking...

Yanagi: Is it a naughty book of terrible sexual tendencies?

Nito: What I picked up from the trash can...

Nito: It was a dream mask!!!!

Yuma: Is that flammable garbage?

Yanagi: How is it?

Nito: Listen seriously!!!!

Yanagi: You are the one joking around, aren't you?

Yuma: I'm listening seriously.

Nito: Anyway, Shishimarus yume mask was thrown away! Can you believe that?!

Yanagi: Have you gotten the reason?

Yuma: Maybe you just made a mistake...

Nito: Naturally, I questioned him! Then he..

To be continued....

A/n: Ok so I know it's been years since the game has been out of service, I know the story was posted on the 360 channel. I translated it the best I could. I'm new to this translation stuff, so don't hesitate to correct me!

Credits:

Pictures: 360 channel

Characters: DREAM!ing

Story: DREAM!ing

Translations: by me!

[wicked-d00d]

Dizzy leaves the lecture hall with her backpack on her shoulders. As she walks down the hallway, she passes by other students who seem more engaged in their classes than she is.

"Everyone else looks so focused. Why am I like this? What happened to my brain?"

Dizzy enters an empty bathroom stall where she lights up a joint. She takes several deep breaths as she exhales smoke into the air. "I've been smoking weed since I was 12 years old," says Dizzy. "It helps me focus."

She then goes outside for some fresh air before returning to school. On her way out of the building, she sees another student lighting up a cigarette. The two exchange nods and smile at each other.

After getting home, Dizzy sits down at her desk and opens her laptop. She pulls up her online coursework and begins studying.

“Why did I even bother coming to college?” wonders Dizzy. “I don’t want to learn anything! All I care about is getting high and having fun!"

Dizzy closes her computer and puts away her books. She grabs her phone and starts scrolling through social media posts.

“Look at how much fun everyone else is having without me,” laments Dizzy. “They’re partying all night while I sit here alone.”

Dizzy gets up off the couch and heads over to her bedroom window. She gazes out onto the street below and watches people walking around town.

“What do they have that I don’t?” asks Dizzy. “How come they can go out there and enjoy life but not me?”

Dizzy returns to her room and lies down on her bed. She rolls herself a joint and lights it up.

“This is what I live for!” exclaims Dizzy. “Weed makes everything better!”

Dizzy continues rolling joint after joint until she falls asleep.

She wakes up late the next morning. Her roommate knocks on the door and tells her that she needs to get ready because they are going to miss class if they don’t hurry.

“You know you should stop doing drugs,” says Dizzy’s roommate. “Your parents would kill you if they knew you were using marijuana every day.”

Dizzy ignores her roommate and continues rolling joints. After finishing one last joint, she stands up and heads towards the shower.

“I guess I could try to quit tomorrow,” thinks Dizzy. “But today isn’t tomorrow yet…”

Dizzy finishes taking a shower and dries off. She puts on her clothes and heads out the front door.

“Maybe I will just skip class today,” muses Dizzy. “I mean, why waste time learning when I already know everything anyway?”

Dizzy arrives at campus and decides to head straight to the library instead of attending any classes. Once inside, she finds a seat near the windows and turns on her laptop.

“Now let’s see what happens when I look up "Guilty Gear" on tumblr...”

Dizzy scrolls through various images and videos related to Guilty Gear. She comes across a blog called @gear-project​, which contains information about the characters and storyline of the games.

“Wow, these guys really love Guilty Gear,” observes Dizzy. “And they actually put together a lot of cool stuff too.”

As Dizzy reads through the articles, she learns many interesting facts about the world of Guilty Gear, including herself. She was surprised to learn that she hatched from an egg.

“That explains why I always feel like I’m missing something,” remarks Dizzy. “I wonder what I looked like before I grew feathers and wings?”

Dizzy spends hours reading through the website. When she finally feels satisfied, she logs off and shuts down her computer.

Dizzy heads back to her dorm room and prepares dinner. While eating, she receives a text message from her friend asking her to hangout later tonight.

“Sure thing,” replies Dizzy. “Just give me a few minutes to take a nap first.”

Dizzy smokes a bowl and falls asleep shortly afterwards.

“Alright, let’s go find our favorite DJ!” proclaims Dizzy. “He’ll play us the best music ever!”

Dizzy leads her friends through the crowd and eventually locates the entrance to the dance floor.

“Here we go!” cheers Dizzy. “Party time!”

The group of friends enter the club and begin dancing along to the music. They drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes throughout the evening. At midnight, Dizzy and her friends leave the club and walk back to their cars.

“Let’s meet up again next week,” suggests Dizzy. “I think I might have found a new place to party.”

Dizzy drives home and parks her car in the garage. She locks the doors behind her and heads upstairs to her bedroom.

“Time to relax and unwind,” declares Dizzy. “Tomorrow is another day.”

Dizzy turns on her television and flips through channels until she reaches the news station. A report catches her attention.

“Oh no,” gasps Dizzy.

A picture appears on screen showing a man being charged with possession of illegal substances. He is identified as Johnny Gears, a well known drug dealer in the area.

“Johnny Gears is dead,” announces the anchorwoman. “Police say he died during a shootout with officers earlier this afternoon.”

Dizzy jumps up from her chair and runs over to the TV set.

“No, please tell me it wasn’t him!” pleads Dizzy. “Please tell me he didn’t die!”

Dizzy paces back and forth in her living room. She tries calling his number multiple times but keeps receiving voicemail messages.

“Where are you Johnny?” screams Dizzy. “Don’t leave me! Please answer your phone!”

Dizzy throws her cellphone against the wall and collapses onto the ground. Tears stream down her face as she mourns the loss of her beloved supplier.

“My only source of supply is gone forever,” moans Dizzy. “There must be someone else out there somewhere. But who? Where? How?”

Dizzy remains on the floor crying for hours. Eventually, she calms down enough to stand up and turn off the television.

“I guess I’d better start looking for a new supplier,” reasons Dizzy. “At least I still have my job to fall back on.”

The next day Dizzy woke up and rolled another joint before heading to her shift at McDonalds

Dizzy walks into work and clocks in for her shift, high as usual. As usual, she greets her coworkers by saying hello.

“Hey Dizzy,” says one of them. “Didn’t you hear? Your boss fired you yesterday.”

“WHAT?!” yells Dizzy. “NO WAY!! WHY???”

Dizzy rushes outside and calls her manager.

“Hello?” answers the voice on the other end.

“Hi Mr. Johnson,” says Dizzy. “It’s me, Dizzy. What happened? Why am I no longer employed?”

Mr. Johnson sighs heavily before answering.

“Dizzy, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for some time now," begins Mr. Johnson. "Unfortunately, I had to fire you due to excessive tardiness."

“Tardiness? That’s ridiculous!” argues Dizzy. “I never showed up late once since I started working here!”

“Yes, but you also missed more than half of your scheduled shifts,” responds Mr. Johnson. “And you smell like you've been smoking weed.

“Smelling like weed doesn’t make me late,” retorts Dizzy. “Besides, how did you even notice? You hardly pay attention to anything around here!"

“Look, Dizzy,” says Mr. Johnson. “I understand that you may need help dealing with certain issues in your personal life. However, I cannot allow you to continue coming to work while under the influence of narcotics or alcohol. It simply isn’t safe for anyone involved.”

“Fine then,” agrees Dizzy. “If you aren’t willing to accept me for who I am, then I guess I’ll just have to move on without you.”

Dizzy leaves the restaurant and heads toward her house. On the way, she passes by a convenience store where she buys snacks and sodas.

Once home, Dizzy takes a long bath and relaxes in the tub. She gets high and enjoys listening to music and watching movies all night. The following morning, Dizzy awakens feeling refreshed and energized.

“Okay, so I lost my job,” reflects Dizzy. “But I still have plenty of money left in my bank account. And I can get more whenever I want if I keep doing what I do best.”

Dizzy rolls another joint and lights it up. She continues smoking marijuana throughout the rest of the day and falls asleep sometime in the early hours of the morning, ready for her next adventure.

[haeroniel-doliet]

So the drawings ive been tinkering on for... Almost exactly 2 months now, are getting a little more finished again! More update under the cut so i dont clog anyones dash :')

(i did start making a third piece that ties my whole idea together and that is being the biggest menace, despite me slightly slightly constantly trying to finish the first two to like any standard im happy with lmao)

So yay on some progress! Boo on that i desperately need to make more progress on real life stuff and im worried i wont have these actually done till november. Two posts a year kinda high speed artist here! And i did/do wanna do something or multiple little things at least for dinluke positivity thing in november! I wanna do a fun community thing! But everything i make takes forever bc im never happy with it and i got a lot else i should be doing. How do people do this?

Ok no but like im writing this publicly just bc i sort of wanna give an update and also bemoan the third piece :') the sketch so far is... Okay, the faces are good enough but the rest is so unfinished/unclean. Last two times i tried fixing it i just made it way worse so tonight i thought fuck it and put down the flat colours right. Turns out that just highlights how unfinished my linework was! So really im just debating. Do i go back and try my damndest to make good lineart for it, or do i take a page out of my adult art class and just actually more paint it in? Like screw the lineart im just gonna spend a long time tinkering with the colours for shadows and highlights and shape this out that way. It won't perfectly match the other two, but the faces have lineart and who really pays much attention to the other details??

Oh and i have still a mission set to make backgrounds for these. Yes im planning to trace over a google image of highschool lockers and not much else but thats still probably at least a nights work for me that im not hype for haha. They look good on plain background but i wanna at least see if the background could help make them feel more finished. Yknow? Make it worth it that ive been sitting on them for 2 months already

Its fine, its all fine, im gonna make the phonecalls i need to tomorrow and do other good admin things, then i can try to either start carving out the third piece in a painting style (back up plan if i hate it is to backpedal and do the lineart better, or make it over the top of it) and if thats going miserably ill just try and make the backgrounds yknow?? Ill make progress this weekend, maybe ill even say fuck it and post it without it being totally close to perfect (not super likely but imagine the relief of getting it out here finally??) So stay tuned and wish me luck!!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary146

2/7-8/2024

wednesday - thursday

off tomorrow, and tonight is my friend's birthday.

my friend, the girlfriend of my other friend. i'm not going though. it's just not a good time, i guess. i feel bad about it, like pretty bad, i hope she's having a good time, but too much is going on rn, scary or whatever, i need to keep everything stable for myself, if i don't work will get worse. i'm just nervous at these early stages, idk what i can really get away with.

anyway, i'm really in love with this music video:

it might be smarter than the song, it's a really good bit of filmmaking honestly, i love the script, the bit where the lusty cameraman goes "how many girls you been with," and the subject goes "a bunch..." and then the guy is like "lucky ladies," and the way the obvious lust and the subject interact, it's not a clear cut relation, there's a strange giving and taking, it's very dirty and weird, and the sadness passing over/through the man being objectified, it's so strange. it feels pretty unique to me.

did something weird, i just listened to the whole cocoron ost, i haven't thought about this game in a very long time. i discovered it because of eversion, an early internet horror game, it's like an nes platformer with BLOOD and DEATH and it's actually really cute and good, i think the game is super awesome actually, it really inspired me as a kid, when i watched a playthrough of it. anyway, that game lifts the cocoron ost, and i watched a playthrough of cocoron as a kid, i wanna play it now kinda, might be good. nes music rlly is cool, sometimes, they tried a lot of weird stuff, it makes sense a lot of people heard that and decided to make it like, grindcore/punk eventually, the noises are so piercing at times, it kind of begs to be screamed over, + the inherent sarcasm in doing that, and then it also sorta overlaps w/ the whitebelt stuff, weirdness of tones when creating music, weirdly colorful sounds for fucked up loud music.

for instance:

i've posted this before i think but this song is great, i love it so much. and i love the color. a perfect aesthetic touch point for me.

another fun one:

i also started looking at spritesheets tonight, just cuz it seemed fun, in the cocoron ost desc the uploader linked a site w/ sprite rips. reminds me of when i was ripping stuff out of ps1 and dreamcast games. i got a lot of stuff out of one game, sengoku turb on dreamcast, i should put some of that here, really cute artstyle i think, one of my fav looking games ever:

crazy looking game, i'm glad it has a sequel out there, also on dreamcast, they seem like pretty obtuse and random games, i miss the whole feverdream thing that could come out on consoles, illbleed, stretch panic is another similar game to me, even katamari on some level, though it's also way indebted to some other stuff, and killer7 is also in the maybe similar but i understand its particular history way better i think, the angura movement in japan offering a kind of springboard for the game's design i feel like, where it absorbs old forms and sticks them right beside the 'new,' as many of those plays had done, to channel something strange, to bring forth the negative and inconclusive, or maybe not inconclusive, just concluding things positivist works could not arrive at.

after finishing wiseblood i am unsure what to begin reading, i have discipline & punish beside me now, the foucault book, but maybe i need to stick with fiction, and just do agua viva by lispector. that might be good... we'll see. also quibbling over if i should try mixing a bit tonight.

also, we finally have real wifi, and it's like the old place, i am happy with it, it's pretty fast and stuff, so that's good.

all the videogame and nes music talk is making me think about how loud i've made the chip synths in my songs, and if i want them to be more prominent or not. it shouldn't be too big a deal, as long as they're there enough, you know.

now i am looking at closet child...dangerous, cuz i will get my heart broken over something i don't get but idk.. soon i really may be able to buy something, and then i will be sooo happy.

i am opening ableton now, i should do my night routine now and try and get the mix right quickly and just go to bed.

i did it, and there's just a couple things that i think i'll end up having to do to that song, cut some lows in the vocals, just a tiny bit more, and drop by 1-2b, raise the left channel guitar up by 1 db, and then maybe cut some of the low lows in the bass. that should do it on that song i think, but i might decide to just come back to it after the full listen w/ the rest of the songs to hear it in context. that leaves 3 more songs on this list, i should try and get them as right as possible, and then listen to the album, w/ some of the new songs i've got with vocals laid down, which there's a few, actually, and then i will see what i need to do, if any songs should be cut, anything like that, and if there's room for anything else. what there isn't room for, or even whatever there is, i need to go and write down the names of the project files i need to finish, just so i can mess with them sooner or later, maybe an ep of stuff i'm still attached to, and stuff.

but i am beat now,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bvannn]

Weekly Update May 17, 2024

I really need to sleep. I keep staying up late, I’ll try not to tonight. I keep wanting to do everything, but my exhaustion leads me to not really be able to do as much as I’d like. I did some things, though.

Biggest thing I got done was that banner. I might mess with the formatting and dimensions some, since it really doesn’t fit well on sites besides newgrounds, but the actual Art is done. Luckily, due to the amount of extra rendering I did, that banner also works as a color refsheet, which is also great, since that was another thing on my list of things to do. Granted, that’s now only done for the O’Malley characters, not the Backstage characters, but that’s fine since they’ll get their own banner when I shift to working on them, whenever that may be. I think writing their pitch comic outline could be something I do at work this summer, or I could continue with the future O’Malley comic writing. We’ll see.

As for the comic itself I’m very close to done with page five, I’d say 16% done with the pitch comic overall. Making good progress, but still a bit slow. Once I’m caught up on rest I should be able to go a bit faster, since the new strategy with the layers is working out wonderfully.

Music stuff is still on the back burner, no new progress on the OEB video, but lyric writing for the originals is going well. BMBO has a draft 100% finished, and I can get a VPR file ready now and edit the lyrics more later. I know what voice I want in it but I’m not sure about the specific voice bank, since it’s be a vocaloid with multiple. I’ll get the file ready for the English bank, and then try to adapt it to a Japanese bank and ask to get it exported with all the options, then I’ll compare them and pick my favorite. I’m really getting thinking about music more so maybe I’ll write more random originals if I find myself in the space for it, but I’d rather worry about the OEB video. I’ll try to take another bite out of that tomorrow after finishing up the O’Malley page.

I did find out also that I’m not set to go back to work again until after Memorial Day, which sucks since I found out this week I need a few medical procedures done before I can get my next surgery, and they’re looking a bit pricey. I think I will be fine but I’d want to tidy up some of my commission stuff at some point too. That’s on me though, I’d like to try that this next week as well. I think priority will be rest this weekend, followed by O’Malley comic progress (I think one major step a day is reasonable), OEB progress, and general drawings. Some of those general drawings may be tokens for my AC game so not everything will be posted. I’ll try to write up a schedule tonight, and stick to it this week.

[sparksocialagency]

Tips To Write A Thoughtful Social Media Post

Writing a thoughtful social media post can be difficult. You want to write something that resonates with your audience, but you also want to avoid going overboard on the corniness factor. So how do you write a thoughtful social media post? Here are some tips for creating content that is both meaningful and well-written:

How to write a thoughtful social media post

Write with a purpose. Social media is a place to let your audience know what you’re up to, so don’t post random and irrelevant information just for the sake of posting. Think carefully about what you want to say and how it connects to your brand or mission as a business.

Write for your audience. Your social media posts should be written in such a way that they are easily digestible by people who may not have been following your account before, but still retain all of their meaning in case someone has been following along all along. This can be tricky, but try using images and videos on Instagram where appropriate, or using hashtags when writing on Facebook or Twitter so that people browsing the platform will see your content in the feed (this strategy is especially effective if you’re doing paid advertising).

Writing a thoughtful social media post is like telling a story.

Writing a thoughtful social media post is like telling a story. The first time I wrote something that got a lot of attention, it was because I thought about what my audience wanted to hear, how I wanted to tell that story, and how I wanted them to feel when they finished reading it.

At the time, we were working on an app called [I’ll write a link here]. In the months leading up to launch, we had been spending our evenings posting screenshots on Twitter and Facebook while getting ready for work in the morning (and occasionally during lunch). We felt like this was pretty fun and interesting—and our friends seemed equally amused. So one night after work when everyone else was asleep or busy watching Netflix or whatever else people do these days instead of staying up late working on their blogs or podcasts or podcasts about their blogs that are also full of photos taken with your phone at dinner parties where no one ever raises their voice but still manages make you feel uncomfortable about yourself even though nothing has happened yet but maybe later tonight if you could just hold off sending me those pictures from last weekend until tomorrow when maybe I’ll have more time then too because right now it would just be better if you sent them tomorrow instead so then later tonight could happen sooner rather than later which would mean now because while this process may seem slow compared with other processes such as breathing heavily into someone’s face while they loudly ask themselves why they’re doing this instead of playing video games online all day long like most people who aren’t 22-year-olds whose parents pay for everything including rent bills for places like Brooklyn where there isn’t much going on besides bars filled with young adults drinking iced coffee drinks from local roasters even though neither party actually needs caffeine since both have already consumed enough earlier today anyway…

What to avoid when writing a thoughtful social media post?

Avoid using slang, emojis, abbreviations, emoticons and hashtags. Slang is typically used in a very close group of friends or family members. Emoji’s are for someone you know well enough to have inside jokes with. Abbreviations and emoticons should only be used if you are very familiar with the person you are speaking to. Hashtags should be used sparingly because they can make your post look unauthentic if there are too many hashtags packed into one sentence and not enough content around them.

Ask for help from others in order to write the best post possible.

Confide in the people in your life, who you know will have honest and thoughtful feedback on what you are writing. If someone has a different perspective than yours, ask them to share it with you in order to make your post better. This can be done through email or even face-to-face conversations with those who are close to you. Ask that person: “What do I need to keep in mind as I write this post?” Your friend may also offer advice or suggestions that might seem helpful when writing your next social media post!

Writing a thoughtful social media post can be difficult, but you can do it!

Writing a thoughtful social media post can be difficult. But you can do it! If you have trouble getting started, try telling a story. Maybe your friend got stuck in traffic on the way to work yesterday morning and nearly missed their appointment with their boss, who really needed to talk about something important. Your friend was able to share with them what they wanted because they were late for the meeting anyway.

Spark Social Agency is a social media content marketing and marketing agency that specializes in creating compelling and engaging content for brands, businesses and influencers.

Spark Social Agency is a full-service social media content creation. We specialize in crafting compelling content and beautiful visuals that will drive engagement on your social networks, help launch new products or services, grow your audience, and increase sales.

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail JohnJaeNNN@NCTU.com to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

[f1united]

Ensemble - Chapter Two: The Girl and The Gift

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: Your Arthur Leclercs best friend. So why, after a random night in London, are you falling for his brother?

Chapter One: The Start

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and sex.

Word Count: 5.8k

Note: This chapter begins in London and is marked where it switches to Mykonos. There are then some flashbacks mixed in so just watch out for those. Let me know your thoughts, enjoy!

*****

Chapter Two: The Girl and The Gift

Not long after Pierre had joined your table, Charles emerged from the toilets. Pierre had waved his hands to inform him of his updated location as he sat in the empty seat, unknowingly signing himself up for a night full of girly gossip and drama. The evening was spent reminiscing on childhood memories and sharing stories. It wasn't until Nat checked her phone that you realised how late it was getting.

"We better get going," She announced as she checked her phone. "The last train is in half an hour." You lived just outside of London which meant that most nights out were cut short by trains unless you had booked a hotel. You hummed in agreement as you finished your drink watching as Pierre began to whisper in Lucy's ear. They'd been flirting all night so her next sentence didn't come as much of a surprise.

"I'm going to chill with Pierre for a bit, I'll find my own way home tomorrow" The rest of the girls saw it coming too.

"Are you sure?" Katie asked. "I don't want you ending up in London on your own with no way home." She had a point. London could be quite daunting when it was late and dark, especially if you weren't a local.

"Well why don't you stay too?" Charles nodded his head towards you as he spoke. "That way you could leave together." Not one part of you questioned Charles' intentions as he spoke. He remained the responsible 'Arthur's older brother' that was being sensible and mature, making sure that everyone got home safely.

"If that's alright with you?" Your question was answered with a nod of his head. You all began to grab your things and headed outside, saying your goodbyes, telling them to text you when they were home safe as they encouraged you to do the same. By the time they'd headed for the station, Pierre and Lucy were already nowhere to be seen.

"I'm not sure about you but I'm in no rush to go back to the apartment just yet!" You spoke to Charles as you looked at the night sky above you.

"Where do you want to go in the meantime?"

“Have you ever explored London before?" You answered his question with one of your own. He shook his head. "So you haven't seen all beautiful sites it has to offer." The sarcasm was evident in your voice as you pointed down the alley way you were walking past full of black bins and plastic bags full of rubbish.

"I've only ever been here to celebrate races and I can't say I've seen much other than the inside of some bars and restaurants.”

"Well you're in for a long night Leclerc." Two hours ago Charles wanted nothing more than for him and Pierre to go back to the apartment. The lack of alcohol he'd consumed throughout the night was only adding to the tiredness he'd accumulated over the race weekend. However as you dragged him through the streets of London he realised there was no place he'd rather be.

You'd ridden Boris bikes alongside the River Thames, shown him your favourite restaurant in Covent Garden and taken him through Piccadilly Circus all the way to Oxford Street where closed shops lined the dark streets, pointing out your favourite ones as you cycled past. He never did things like this. As a F1 driver it was difficult for him to go almost anywhere without going unnoticed but tonight not one person had recognised him because for the night he was just a normal person with another normal person having a good time. 

After abandoning the Boris bikes at the nearest drop off point you both headed towards the apartment. It belonged to Charles' mother and was often used by you and Arthur whenever he'd come to visit and couldn't stay with you.

"You seem happier than when I last saw you." His comment made you smile. It was all he could think about as you wondered through the dark streets. The last time you'd seen him you'd just broken up with your ex. Your relationship had been on and off for years but you'd finally called it quits for good. It didn't take a genius to see the relationship was making you unhappy, the anxiety, tears and sleepless nights were picked up on by everyone albeit your efforts to hide it. Arthur was the only person who truly knew what was going on and it hurt him to see his best friend in so much pain when she thought she was in love.

"Thank you, I'm in a much better place now. I've had time to focus on myself." You'd completely lost yourself throughout the time you were together, focusing so much on what he'd wanted and expected rather than what made you happy. The situation had increased your maturity and for that reason you were grateful your first heartbreak had come at such a young age. You'd correctly assumed that Arthur had made Charles aware of your sensitiveness to the situation to some extent as he made no further comments. 

He had approached Arthur with concern after your last meeting. Despite a fun grand prix weekend you'd been blinking back tears and spent most of the time with a blank expression on your face. He hated it. He could see you trying to compose yourself, when he came to thank you for coming you'd done your best to smile, your voice was laced with excitement, but your eyes were empty, drained of emotion. He was grateful to see it had made its way back.

"Did you know I've never been to Harrods?" His random fact was a relief as he quickly changed the subject, allowing your mind to be brought back to the present rather than the dark times from the past.

"Even I've been to Harrods Charles. We should go tomorrow, you'd have a field day in the clothes section." As a part time student most of your spare money went into savings, a fund you'd created for your planned travels when you were done with your studies. It wasn't very often that you brought yourself nice things so despite your multiple trips to Harrods, you'd never actually purchased anything. You could see him deliberating your suggestion in his head. 

"You can wear sunglasses and a hat with your mask, just don't wear a bright red Ferrari top and I'm sure we'll be able to keep ourselves to ourselves."

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" His question brought you back to reality slightly.

"I'll call in sick?" you offered. It suddenly occurred to you that this was the longest time you and Charles had ever been alone together and the idea of leaving wasn't something that you wanted to think about just yet. 

Charles opened the apartment door with caution, neither of you wanted to interrupt your friend’s spontaneous night, nor hear any of the antics they were getting up to. You frowned at each other as you stepped into the entrance corridor. There were no faint voices, no mumbling or laughs, just the hum of the city that echoed through the slightly open window.

“Maybe they didn’t come back here,” your judgement became increasingly more likely as you followed Charles towards the kitchen and stood around the island.

“I’ll send him a text.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped away before placing it on the marble countertop. It lit up with Pierre's reply not long after he'd set it down. “They went to some hotel, apparently he’s dropping her home in a second.”

“He’s not the type to bring girls back to his home turf then,” you took the bag off your shoulder and placed in on the counter, grabbing a hair tie from inside and gathering your locks into a low ponytail. “Smart move.” Charles shrugged his shoulders at your observation.

He’d never really thought about it before, but he was the same. The few casual hook ups that he’d had over the years had never been in places he spent a lot of time like his house in Monaco, or his favourite holiday home in Mykonos, and never this apartment. Sure, he’d slept with people in those cities, but never in his space. You were right though; it was easier to forget about the crime if you never returned to the scene.

"Do you have anything I can change into?" 

“There’s a top on the end of my bed.” You thanked him as you made your way towards his room. “I’ll grab some of my things so I can crash on the sofa once you’ve changed.” You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him as you stood in the doorway.

“I’m not kicking an f1 driver out of their own bed Charles, especially not post race weekend.” You crossed your arms as you lent against the door frame. “I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa.” He argued.

“It’s one night Charles, I really don’t mind.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa.” He repeated.

“Well then it looks like we’re sharing the bed.” Your words not only surprised you, but also Charles. Neither of you were sure where this increased confidence had come from, but you didn’t want it to become awkward, so you tried to justify your statement. “Me and Arthur used to share a bed all the time!”

The look on his face as your eyes met with his across the room was one you’d so desperately been seeking without realising it. His head cocked, eyebrows raised and small smirk tugging its way onto his lips provided reassurance, giving you the confidence to confirm that this relationship was very different to your one with Arthur. You already knew it, you had felt it every time you’d looked at him since you were about 16, but this was the first time you could say with certainty that it was reciprocated.

Charles was dying to climb into bed with you. To wrap his arms around you and stay like it all night. He didn’t care about the fact that your hair would be in his face or that his arm would most likely be dead within the first half an hour. He just wanted you there with him, so he could learn things about you that he didn’t already know and fall asleep with the scent of your faded perfume beneath his nose. He suggested that he’d sleep on the sofa because he knew that wasn’t what you were implying. 

“I’ll stay on my side,” you offered. “Promise.”

That’s what he was afraid of. Charles was a respectful man, he wouldn’t cross boundaries without permission, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without your touch. The thought of your body lying so tantalisingly close to his while dressed in nothing but your underwear and one of his shirts was driving him crazy.

“I’m a very good sleeper, you won’t even know I’m there.”

You couldn’t stop listing reasons for Charles to join you. He wished you would stop; his head was already full of so many.

“Well go and get comfy and I’ll join you in a minute,” In that moment he made the decision to give in knowing that if this was the only chance he got to lay in bed with you he'd take the opportunity, whether your bodies were intertwined or not. “Do you need a drink or anything?”

“A water would be great!” You smiled as you turned around and headed to the bedroom. Charles spent the next few minutes alone in the kitchen trying to convince himself that this was a bad idea. That it was wrong. You were his brother’s best friend and he shouldn't be this nervous or excited to lay next to you, but no matter how hard he tried to dislike the situation he couldn’t because it just felt right.

By the time he joined you in bed you’d already made yourself incredibly comfortable. He chuckled at the site of you tangled in the duvet before climbing in next to you. You laid facing each other and remained that way as you chatted about memories from the past. Childhood holidays and his earliest racing days to you latest life plans and hopes for the future. That's how you drifted to sleep, listening to his voice was more comforting than you'd like to admit. When you awoke in the morning you were unsure what terrified you more, the feeling of one of you completely reducing the few centimetres of space left between you or never knowing what Charles’ touch felt like.

*****

Maybe that’s why you were so unimpressed when Charles and Pierre joined the several of you seated around the long table on the patio with two unknown girls. The number of cocktails you’d consumed weren’t providing you with a great amount of rationality but then again it was difficult to justify being annoyed when you had no reason to be in the soberest of situations. The only person to blame was yourself, you’d had the chance to experience a night with Charles and a combination of your stubbornness, maturity and (let’s face it) fear of what could happen had meant that you’d missed out.

It was only as she threw her head back at one of his comments that it hit you, you were jealous. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt in years. Ever since your last relationship you had lacked almost every kind of emotion. You’d dated people since but that connection was never really there which is why you were full of confusion at the situation presenting itself to you. The feelings felt foreign to your body and you weren’t sure how to deal with them, so you did the one think that you were too young to do back then. Get drunk and try to forget about them for a night.

"Are you listening? Drink up, we're leaving in a second!" Arthurs voice provided a distraction from your thoughts whilst encouraging them. You tilted your head back as you finished the remainder of your champagne, your arm was already reaching out for the nearest bottle to see if you could sneak in a quick refill. You didn’t even like champagne but after having run out of cocktails about an hour ago you didn’t really have much choice. In any other situation you would’ve declined and waited until you were at the club but you weren’t really in the mood to sober up right now. You got up to follow everyone to the taxis, deciding that the bottle had too much in to be left at the table to waste, but not enough in that you couldn't finish it before you reached you destination. Putting the bottle to your lips this time, you took another gulp.

He noticed. He noticed the vast amount of alcohol you had consumed thus far. The unbothered façade you'd displayed during dinner was picked up by him the second he’d glanced in your direction. Your eyes often met his across rooms, at events, in the paddock, even at family dinners and it was always followed by a shared smile, but tonight you hadn't even looked at him and he couldn't stand it. Although he couldn’t be certain, he had a good idea what the cause was. Guilt was slowly consuming his thoughts. He shouldn’t have felt guilty, there was no real reason to, yet he did.

He knew if he had come alone you would've had a couple of drinks with dinner, just enough to prepare yourself for the club afterwards, allowing the sweaty people and sticky floor to become slightly bearable. He also knew that you weren't a huge drinker and that the lack of food you had consumed at dinner would only worsen the matter which was evident as he watched you fall into a taxi with Arthur and Carla as he climbed into a separate one with Pierre and, what they appeared to be to everyone else, their ‘dates’.

The club was busy, everyone excited to be back on the dance floor after its absence over the past year or two. Although it would've been nice to spend some more time with him, you were thankful that the crowds had engulfed you so you'd lose sight of Charles and her. You'd found your way to the middle of the dance floor and you remained there for hours losing track of time and somehow your friends too.

Unbeknown to you, Charles had lost his 'date' at the first chance he had. He'd met her on a boat during the day with Pierre and when his best friend had invited her best friend for dinner he felt bad for not doing the same. He was sitting at the bar with Pierre who'd picked up on the amount of attention he was paying you as you danced along with random strangers. The Frenchman questioned what he was doing when he noticed Charles tighten his jaw. Charles nodded his head in your direction and the pair watched as a man approached you.

The guy in front of you was only offering to buy you a drink but you knew you were way over your limit. You'd politely declined, naively assuming that he'd disappear back into the sea of faces but that wasn't the case. Your refusal  clearly not accepted as he insisted. grabbing onto your arm in an attempt to pull you in the direction of the bar. Yanking your arm out of his grip you instantly managed to sober up as you came to the realisation you were going to have to fight this battle alone.

Charles knew you were a big girl, that you could handle yourself in almost any situation thrown your way, but as the guy reached out to touch you he could've sworn he moved quicker than his Ferrari. His presence shocked you as you flinched slightly at the unfamiliar grip on your waist.

"It's just me ma belle." Charles whispered calmly into your ear, placing a feather light kiss onto your cheek. Relief instantly washed over your body. You wished you could focus on the conversation that Charles was now having with the strange man in front of you but you couldn't. The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of your skin heating beneath Charles' fingertips and the tingling sensation that lingered where he'd planted the kiss. He'd never touched you before, the brief hugs being the most contact you'd ever shared, and now he was standing in a club with his hand around your waist as he fended off a random guy who'd taken an interest in you. "I think we should head home." When Charles spoke it felt as though each word was coated in sex as it left his lips. He hadn't meant it in a sexy way, you knew that. He wanted to take you home so you were safe. However his intense grip on your waist and his stubble lightly grazing your cheek when he leaned in to speak to you was putting thoughts into your mind that you knew shouldn't be there.

You looked up at him, your eyes locking for the first time that night. Your eyes always showed a lot of emotion. Your body language was often hard to read but you always made eye contact when you spoke. He frequently used it to determine what mood you were in but this time he was met with one he'd never seen before. Despite them having a drunken glaze, your dilated pupils held a look of lust. He could've sworn you were mentally undressing him. You weren't. Instead you were thinking of how much you wanted him to undress you.

"I think that's a good idea." He could hear the smirk in your voice over the sound of the music as you let your lips gently brush his ear lobe while you spoke. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath in an attempt to pull himself together. You were disappointed when his hand left your side but satisfied when it quickly intertwined itself with yours. His skin was softer than you were expecting, the rough patches slowly disappearing over the summer break. Your hands remained that way as you walked through the streets of Mykonos. Neither of you spoke, you just remained in a comfortable silence. As the villa came into view Charles was basically marching down the street, his strides increasing as your little legs tried to keep up. He dropped your hand when he reached the door, searching his pockets for the key to unlock it.

The villa was colder than you were expecting, a shiver ran down your spine as the air con hit you. You headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your sweater off one of the bar stools, sliding it on over your outfit.

“So you’d let Carla drive your car huh?” his face instantly broke out in a smile as you relieved some of the tension between you both. “You know that’s not true.” Charles followed you to the kitchen and watched as you perched yourself on the edge of the counter. He poured a glass of water and took a sip before handing it to you which you gratefully accepted.

“You’d let your date drive it instead?” He rolled his eyes as he chuckled at your sarcasm, hoping that you’d forgotten about the girl he’d sat next to during dinner as quickly as he had. “How many girls get a turn before me?” Although he didn't let it show, your question had offended him slightly. Despite his popularity with women he was never one to disrespect them, especially not you. He took a step closer to you, standing directly in front of your legs that were pressed firmly together.

“You’re the only one I want to see in that seat mon Cherie,” That was one nickname that he’d never called you, yet it rolled off his tongue so effortlessly. He leaned against your legs and you slowly parted them so he could stand in between, closing the distance between you both. “I’d let you drive it again in a heartbeat.” Your eyes were fluttering between his eyes and lips, your stare only breaking when he leaned in to speak in your ear just like he’d done in the club. He placed a kiss on your cheekbone and slowly worked his way up to your ear.

“You looked very sexy behind the wheel of my car.” You locked your hands with his while he continued to speak, closing your eyes in a desperate attempt to try and calm your heart rate down. You wanted to say something back, engage more in the conversation, but for the first time in a long time you were at a loss for words. You loved driving, you'd often join the boys go karting growing up and learned to drive as soon as you could, so when Charles asked if you wanted to drive his Ferrari back to your home after your Harrods shopping trip you were more than excited. It was a nice change from the train ride you were expecting.

He'd watched your eyes light up when you realised he was being serious. It was the closest you'd ever been to driving something even remotely similar to an f1 car despite it being different in so many ways. Your smile was infectious as you put your foot down on the motorway, leaving London behind. You'd never even driven an automatic car so this was a completely new experience. He'd taught you how to use the paddles to manually change gears if you wanted to and how to shift through its different modes as you drove around. The only disappointing part of the journey was reaching your destination, your trip home considerably quicker than you would've wanted. After spending the whole time focused on going fast and not crashing, you'd selfishly not noticed how Charles was feeling throughout the drive.

He'd been trying to keep his eyes trained on the road in front of him but couldn't help steal a glance in your direction every now and then. He was always surrounded by fast cars, something he realised after seeing you sat in his driving seat he'd begun to take for granted. He felt overwhelmed with pride, he was the one who was making you this happy. He felt privileged seeing you this free as your hair flew around in the wind while you rested a hand out the side of the car, trying to resist the force of the air pushing it back. It was his turn to be selfish as he realised that he always wanted to keep that moment for himself. He didn't want anyone else to make you feel like this, give you this experience. He wanted to be the one to make you smile.

“Don’t go quiet now mon Cherie.” That nickname. Again. “I think we still need to discuss what happened in the shower.” You instantly snapped back into reality at the mention of the shower. His hand fell from yours and toyed with the bracelet on your wrist. The one that you nervously played with in situations like these. The one that he’d gifted you last year. The one with his name etched into it.

The morning that you'd woke up in Charles' bed you were alone. An empty bed was something you'd become accustomed to over the past couple of years but in this instance it made you awaken quicker. The note left on his pillow stopped you from worrying, he was out on a run.

You respected his commitment to his career and took the opportunity to go for a shower. The warm water felt refreshing against your skin, goose bumps slowly appearing across your skin at the sudden change in temperature. Rubbing Charles shower gel into your skin you closed eyes and lent your head against the tiled shower wall. It wasn't clear at what point you'd become so aroused, but  the steam from the shower and the smell of Charles covering you definitely had something to do with it. You allowed your hands to roam your body, his name unexpectedly falling from your mouth as you brushed past your breasts. The careless use of his name had caused your eyes to widen and your hand to clamp over your mouth. It had left you lips so naturally but felt inappropriate to say aloud.

It wasn't until a few days later that you realised he'd heard. He almost hadn’t. If he’d unlocked the apartment a mere three seconds later your words wouldn’t have reached his ears. His run had been sweaty and he was still out of breath but his panting soon stopped. His eyes widened as he heard his name leave your lips and he froze. He didn’t want to announce his presence, he knew he wasn’t supposed to hear it and didn’t want you to feel embarrassed that he had. He didn’t know what to do. He felt as though he was invading your privacy but knew that if he shut the door you’d hear it close and know he was there. So instead he stuck his foot between the door and the doorframe to keep it slightly open as he waited for the sound of the shower to finish running. He tried to focus on something else, anything else, but he failed. All he could think about was you, in his shower, without him and how badly he wanted to join you, just so he could make his name fall from your mouth the way it just did over and over again.

You thought you'd gotten away with it. He'd entered the apartment just as you were stepping out the bathroom and he'd acted as cool as ever. The weekend was slowly becoming a distant memory that you were trying hard not to dwell on, hating that you were missing his presence so much already. It wasn't until you were at work the following week that it became apparent your secret crush was no longer a secret. You were in the office early, earlier than everyone else. That wasn’t unusual, you liked to be in early as it often meant you could leave earlier too. What was unusual was the box placed neatly on your desk.

Although the small parcel was addressed to you, you opened it with hesitation. A small gasp left your lips as your unwrapping revealed a red box, the golden engraving of the word ‘Cartier’ on top. Confused, you gently opened to box revealing a bracelet.

You placed it on your desk as you searched for a note. Despite it being awfully obvious who it was from, you wanted some kind of confirmation or, better yet, a reason as to why someone had put this into your possession. You'd spotted it in Harrods with Charles. You hadn't mentioned it, just spent a few minutes mindlessly staring at its beauty. There was no point even considering buying it for yourself, the price tag was close to your yearly salary. Eventually you found the note. 

'I've heard you like to moan it'

You picked up the bracelet once more, analysing it as you did so. It was so discreet, discreet enough that if the note wasn’t a big enough hint you might never have realised. His name. Etched into the inside of the band in the same font as the word ‘Cartier'. Any other name and he wouldn’t have been able to get away with it. No one had picked up on its personalisation in the past year. It had remained your little secret.

You gulped loudly, unsure of what to say next. The dull lighting hid your cheeks as they flushed red with embarrassment, just like they'd done when you'd read his note. Luckily it was situations like these you considered your stubbornness a strength. "All I could thing about was how much I wanted you to touch me Charles." With your lips dangerously close to Charles' ear you'd somehow managed to complete your sentence with confidence. The conviction in your voice had satisfied Charles although it was obvious that he hadn't expected it as he pulled his head back slightly to look you in the eyes. It was the first time you'd seen them so dark out of his crash helmet. They didn't have the same teasing smile paired with them as they did only a few moments ago. For a brief moment your heart dropped. What if he was just teasing you and you'd taken it too far? 

"Say something." Your voice was barely audible despite the eerie silence that had settled in the kitchen as Charles picked up on your nervousness. His expression softened but he remained silent, placing his forehead against yours and gently brushing your noses. You both very quickly realised there was no longer the need for words. The last thing either of you wanted to do right now was have a conversation about what was going on because quite honestly neither of you were sure. All you knew was that as soon as the space between your lips closed, there was no going back. You were craving each other's touch and it was as though the kiss you were yet to share would be the seal of approval you both needed to explore each other in a way you hadn't before.

You'd had enough of the teasing, enough of the wondering and what ifs, enough of wasting time without knowing how his lips felt against yours. You moved your head up slightly brushing your lips with his before releasing one of your hands from his grasp and placing it on the back of his head, pulling it down slightly. As soon as your lips pressed against his you became overwhelmed with emotions. You relaxed into it, it felt so right. His hands began to explore your body, one placed on your thigh and the other tracing lines up and down your back, sitting on the counter top had worked in your favour as you wrapped your legs around his waist. It wasn't long before his tongue found yours as you let your hands snake beneath his shirt feeling his back and arms tense beneath you as he lifted you up from the side and placed you on the dining table which was at a slighter lower level. 

His mouth left yours and you let out a small groan of frustration, he smiled at the sound as you realised he was only doing it to strip you of the sweater you'd not long ago put on, allowing him to rid you of it, not caring how cold it was anymore. In between the kisses he was placing down your neck you pulled his top over his head. Your eyes were trained to his shoulders as you admired him, only shutting when he re-joined your lips. 

The sound of a key turning the lock at the front door caught Charles' attention. There was a high chance he'd consumed less alcohol than you tonight which is why he giggled slightly when you chose to ignore the sound and bring him back in for another kiss. 

“WE’RE HOME” Arthur voice echoed round the villa. The sound of his brothers voice was enough for you to release him from your grip.

“Shhhhhhhhhhh, it’s 3am people will be sleeping.” Carla tried to whisper but the tiled walls carried the sound throughout the villa. You didn’t know if anyone else was home, you hadn’t checked and to be honest you hadn’t even thought about it. The only thing on your mind was Charles.

“Y/N and I are in the kitchen,” Charles called back. His eyes never left yours as he grabbed his shirt you'd thrown across the kitchen and redressed himself, not until Arthur stumbled through the door way knocking into chairs and making them squeal as the legs glided across the floor. You both watched as he regained balance and muttered a drunken apology before sitting himself on the floor.

"Good night Arthur?" you laughed slightly at the sight of him on the floor, he'd never been the most elegant drunk but at least he was entertaining.

"Great night." He confirmed as he laid himself down, a laugh leaving Carla's lips as she stared at the state of him. If someone had spoken to you a couple of hours ago you would've probably had a different opinion but as it turned out, you were starting to agree with him.

TAGLIST

@imthebadguyyy @abysshaven @phatyak​

[golbrocklovely]

never needed // colby brock

A/N: so fun fact about this fic is that i came up with it last year back in november. it was around the time me and my ex best friend stopped being friends. i was really in such a rough headspace, and i think the concept shows it. i just finished writing it today and wow... i still feel this way to some extent, but not fully (thank god). also i literally cried while writing it today so there’s that. hope yall enjoy this one. i'm trying to post a bunch of fics since this coming week is my bday (the 14th). no guarantees, but i'm trying my best to put out at least six things. let me know what you think of this one. see yall later :)

prompt: colby has been ghosting you for a while, just when things were starting to get good between you two. after a week of ignoring you, he’s finally ready to talk. || fem!reader x colby brock

trigger warning: angst, cursing, heartache, crying, honestly this one is really sad so sorry about that, happy ending tho

word count: 2331

~~~~~~~

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I groaned to myself, staring at my phone.

Colby was still ignoring me, something I had grown accustomed to this week. He had ghosted my calls and my texts. He turned his read notifications off too, so I had no clue whether or not he had even seen my messages at all.

Everything had been going great between us. We had met a couple years back and hit it off as friends right away. I always thought he was attractive, and our friendship was always really flirty; so much so that fans thought we were together. And then finally, something clicked a couple months back. I wasn't sure if it was the accidental drunken kiss we shared, or just a built up of feelings, but we finally decided that maybe we should test out an actual relationship.

We promised each other we would take it slow, both of us still heartbroken from our previous relationships and our general trust issues. But these past two months, we went into overdrive, actually taking the time to feel each other out as boyfriend and girlfriend.

And for the first time, I felt happy. Genuinely happy.

A week ago, we had even gone on a cute little date, something we had started doing regularly. We were in the middle of our conversation; I remember I laughed hard at something he said. It was loud enough that some of the patrons in the restaurant stared at us. And when he tried to shush me jokingly, a silence had fallen over us.

His face dropped suddenly, he became super serious and quiet, and then he asked if we could go home.

He told me the next day that he thought he got food poisoning and it just hit him in the restaurant. I didn't think anything of it and was fine with going home early.

But now, I wonder if he was lying.

I looked back down at my phone, reading over my messages from the past week to him.

Was I taking this too far? He could have just been busy. I don't wanna come across as clingy.

"Ugh, fuck that." I muttered out loud to myself, rolling out of my bed to get a drink.

I didn't care if I came across as clingy. I had a right to know why he was ignoring me. If it was work related, he would have told me. He had done that in the past before.

This was different, I just knew it.

Tomorrow, I planned to go over and see him. I would have done it tonight, but I knew he wasn't home. He was out with some friends at Saddle Ranch. Like a fan, I had to watch his stories on Insta, since that was the only way I knew where he was.

"Don't expect too much from him." Sam said.

I shook my head at that memory. When we got together, everyone was happy for us. But I could feel a certain tension in the room, a certain caveat that wasn't being mentioned. Later that night, Sam and I were by ourselves, and he asked me if Colby and I had really made our relationship official. I told him we hadn't gone all the way, but that we were taking it one step at a time.

"I'm happy for you guys, really. I just wonder..." His voice trailed off.

I cocked my head. "Wonder what?"

"Look, I love you both, but I don't know if Colby is really ready for a relationship. There's a lot of things he still needs to work through." He stated.

"We're not that serious." I laughed.

"Yeah, yet. If you plan to be, I just don't want you to get your heart broken because he wasn't ready." Sam admitted.

I patted his shoulder lightly, smiling. "Relax, Samuel. Everything will be fine."

"Alright. Just... don't expect too much from him, okay?" He mentioned, his eyes narrowing on mine.

That had been two months ago and... I think I should have heeded his warning.

A loud knock at my front door brought me out of my thoughts, scaring me. I grabbed a knife from my kitchen, striding over to the door. I glance through the peephole to see who was there.

Colby's face stared back.

"Y/N, it's me. Can you open the door?" He called.

I scowled at him through the peephole. "Sorry she's not home right now. Maybe you should try responding to her texts.”

“Look I'm sorry, but that's why I came over. I wanted to talk in person.” He replied.

“Damn, that’s a shame. Too bad she’s not home!” I exclaimed angrily.

“C’mon now, don’t be childish.” He remarked.

I swung the door open, holding back from yelling into my hallway. “Childish?!”

He smirked at me. “I knew that would get you to open the door.”

“You’re not funny.” I deadpanned, glaring at him.

“Can you please let me in? I seriously want to talk.” Colby responded, his eyes landing on mine.

“No, Colby. It’s one o’clock in the morning, I don’t feel like talking, and you’re drunk.” I jeered, resting my hands on my hips.

He scrunched up his face dramatically. “No, I’m not. I only had like two drinks.”

“Oh my mistake. I figured a person that randomly comes over to talk at the ass-crack of night is usually drunk,” I quipped. “Don’t you have better things to do, like be at Saddle Ranch?”

He stepped back, raising an eyebrow. “How’d you know I was at Saddle Ranch?”

I could feel my cheeks heat up. “Because… I watched your stories.”

“Nice to know you pay attention to me,” he uttered under his breath. “Please let me in.”

“No. Fuck off, Colby.” I hissed.

He rolled his eyes at my comment. “If you don’t let me in, I’m just gonna make noise out here in the hallway until you do.”

“Bet.” I huffed.

“What was your favorite movie again… ‘10 Things I Hate About You’?” He questioned, stepping back further into the hallway.

I blinked. “Yeah, so what?”

He looked up at me, giving me a devilish smile. “…You’re just too good to be true.”

My face dropped at his voice. “Colby.”

“Can’t take my eyes off of you.” He sang, pointing at me.

“Are you really-” I started.

He cut me off, running his hands down his body. “You’d be like heaven to touch.”

I hushed. “Seriously stop-”

“I wanna hold you so much.” He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself.

I grunted, smacking my hand towards him. “Colby, it’s one in the morn-”

“At long last, love has arrived.” He opened his arms wide.

“Shut the fuck up!” I whisper-shouted.

“And I thank God I'm alive.” Colby praised up towards the ceiling.

I retorted. “You’re fucking embarrass-”

He spun in a circle slowly. “You're just too good to be true.”

“I knew giving you the code to my apartment was a bad idea.” I grumbled.

“Can't take my eyes off of you.” He winked, pointing at me again.

Colby took a big inhale, ready to start singing the music, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him into my apartment.

I slammed my door shut, locking it quickly. “Next time you do something like that, I’m gonna kill you.”

“That’s not very- why do you have a knife?” He motioned toward the knife sitting on my side table.

“What-? Oh, I thought you were an intruder.” I explained.

He lightly smiled, his dimples appearing. “You think an intruder would knock?”

I snapped, annoyed. “Aren’t you here to apologize?”

“Right, right,” he cleared his throat, his demeanor changing. “Y/N, I’m deeply sorry.”

“Sure.” I narrowed my eyes, walking towards my kitchen.

He followed me. “I know what I did was fucked up. I should have responded to you.”

“You completely ignored me for over a week.” I informed him, resting my back against the counter.

He nodded. “I know. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I crossed my arms uncomfortably. “…were you busy?”

“No, not really.” He divulged, dropping his head.

“So, you purposefully ignored my calls and text…” I could feel my hands shake against my arms.

“You make it sound bad-” He mumbled.

“It is that bad.” I emphasized, stopping him. “Colby, you wanna talk about being childish? That shit was childish.”

He agreed. “I know it was.”

“Obviously not since you keep joking about it.” I argued.

“I’m not trying to joke,” he protested, running his hands through his hair. “Do you wanna know the honest to God truth?”

“Of course I do.” I answered, furrowing my eyebrows.

He exhaled, glancing at me. “When we first got together, even though we were taking it slow, I was terrified to date you.”

“Terrified?” I puzzled.

He swallowed hard. “Yes. Scared shitless.”

“Why?” I questioned.

“I thought it was because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But then… at dinner,” his voice lowered, his shoulders dropping. “I realized it was more than that.”

I shook my head, confused. “What are you ta-”

“I’m falling in love with you, Y/N.” He confessed.

His words made me step back, my breath hitching in my throat.

I choked. “What?”

“When you laughed really hard, and did that cute snort thing you do, I remember we looked at each other… and all I saw was you,” his eyes bore into mine, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin. “No one else in that restaurant existed. And in that moment, I wanted to tell you I love you.”

I stammered out words, unable to think clearly. “S-so… you-”

“When I felt it, I knew I had to go home. Because I was just so shocked at the feeling. I haven’t felt that way for anyone in a long time.” He sighed exhaustingly, “and… I apologize that I ignored you. Every time I saw your messages, I knew I should have responded. But my body, my mind, wouldn’t let me.”

I frowned. “Because you love me?”

“Because… I’m scared to love you.” He admitted.

A heavy silence fell over the apartment. I shuddered out an exhale, not even noticing I had been holding my breath in for so long. Colby closed his eyes, twisting up his face, and turned his back to me.

“Why are you scared to love me?” I gulped, scared of his answer.

His shoulders tensed as he gripped the counter. “The last time you felt heartbroken… did it leave you feeling empty? Because that’s how I felt… for so long. It’s not even the empty feeling that bothered me. It was the fact that I knew something used to be there… and now it’s gone. I miss who I was before.”

I opened my mouth, but no words escaped.

“I have this deep, guttural feeling that you’re gonna realize I’m not worth loving, and that there is someone else out there that is, and you’re gonna leave me.” His voice trembled as he spoke, “everyone… always leaves me.”

I gasped quietly. “Colby-”

He turned back to me, his face becoming red. “I just feel like no one ever needs me, you know? Like some people only keep me around because they don’t have the heart to just tell me they don’t care anymore. Even Sam has someone else.

I consoled. “That’s not-”

“And I know it’s selfish to want everyone around me to only want me. I don’t really feel that way. I just… don’t feel like anyone really needs me as much as I need them,” his chest quaked as his breathing began to speed up. “And when you realize it too… I don’t think I can live through that fall out again. I don’t think I’m gonna survive it.”

“Wait, Col-” I murmured.

“At that dinner, I had this gut-wrenching anxiety come over me; a voice in my head that said ‘she’s gonna leave you too’ and… I’m just so sorry.” He panted, his eyes welling up.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pressing his body into mine as hard as I could. He buried his face into my neck, his body almost going limp against mine.

I couldn’t help my own tears spill as they landed on his shirt. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way before?”

“I was ashamed. I should be stronger than this.” He fumed through his tears.

I rubbed his face lovingly. “Who said that? You are strong. Expressing your emotions is strong.”

He nodded, croaking. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course. How about tonight you stay over, and then in the morning, we’ll talk about this more? Okay?” I suggested, resting my hands on his forearms.

“Yeah.” He whimpered.

I smiled brokenly. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I lightly grasped Colby’s hand, pulling him slowly into my bedroom. He stumbled along, his head remaining down.

I sat him down on the bed and slid off his jacket, placing it on my dresser. I cupped his face, tracing his jaw with my fingers. His eyes finally landed on mine as I tilted his head up.

I leaned down and kissed his lips, resting my forehead against his.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Colby.” I stated, gazing into his eyes.

He begged in a hushed tone. “Please don’t.”

“I won’t. I promise.” I reassured, kissing his forehead.

I walked over to the other side of my bed and laid down. Colby kicked off his shoes, taking his belt off and pulling his jeans down. After getting undressed, he slid into bed with me, laying his head down softly on my chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he buried his head into my neck again, sighing against my skin. I ran my fingers through his hair, a light hum falling from his lips. I ran my other hand up and down his spine, feeling him shiver under my touch.

“We’ll be okay, Colby.” I whispered.

[bellesowl]

tell me you love me

- multiple characters

⤷ sakusa, atsumu, ushijima, kuroo

genre: fluff ; established relationships

synopsis: haikyuu boys and their love languages

word count: 1.5k total <3

warnings: very very small mention of bullies and season 4 spoilers in atsumu’s, i curse a lil

- a/n: one last fluff hc before february ends! i just wanted to do something short & sweet but then it evolved into this as always atsumu’s is too long. oh and ai (@/ luvnami) has a post very similar to tsumu’s so make sure to check it out too! kuroo’s is a sort of prequel to this post too. finally, are we surprised at my choice of characters to write at this point?

- sakusa kiyoomi

his love language is physical touch

PHEWW i know y’all weren’t expecting this

but let me explain myself

i abhor the fact that people think sakusa would detest touching his partner & that he wouldn’t act completely touch starved

so obviously, even getting him to talk to you was a whole quest and a half in and of itself but once he gets comfortable around you?

especially enough that he willingly spends time with you as your boyfriend?

you cannot tell me this man wouldn’t be completely cuddled up to you 24/7

“kiyooo” you sigh, “baby, you have practice right?”

he shakes his head, trying to trick you into spending more time with him, but by now you have his practice schedule memorized.

“c’mon, c’mon, up we go” you gently shove him off you and he pouts, “as much as i would love to stay like this forever, we both know you can’t be late to practice- especially with nationals right around the corner.” you grab his hand and lead him towards the gym.

“well maybe if you became a manager like i suggested, i would be more inclined to go to practice because i wouldn’t have to choose between my favorite things- you and volleyball.” he says with a pointed look in your direction.

you both stop in front of the gym and turn to face each other. “maybe if you do well enough at nationals, you might come back next year with a new manager, huh?” you unhook his mask and give him a slight peck. “i’ll see you tomorrow, okay babe?”

he pulls you in for a slightly longer kiss, “i was thinking more like tonight after practice, okay my love?”

you nod and shove him into the gym, where the smile on his face fades back into his signature scowl. you laugh slightly, he never will change, will he?

- miya atsumu

his love language is words of affirmation

i think this one was pretty obvious, but along with this is definitely physical touch

i mean we all know that tsumu is known for being clingy as hell but it’s cute so it’s fine

but words of affirmation- like we saw in s4, he was constantly left out, tbh borderline bullied by the other kids

sure, he always acted like it didn’t matter but that hurts, especially in middle school.

so having someone tell him they love him, that he’s great & all (at something other than volleyball), and that he’s enough? he’ll follow you to the moon and back.

as karasuno’s cheering section continues to roar with delight and the crows are on the brink of tears on the court, you can’t seem to take your eyes off a certain setter. you watch as he stands there, almost in denial. come on tsumu, you’re fine love, you think, silently cheering him on. you watch as he says something to the karasuno duo, and you smile slightly when he begins to argue with his brother.

as they line up, you stay a moment to make sure the goddamn cheering squad doesn’t say anything rude to the team who just poured their hearts out on that court. satisfied with their applause, you make your way down to the court. you wait for them to finish their team meeting before approaching your boyfriend.

“tsumu!” you yell, hoping to grab his attention. his head whips toward you and his smile widens.

“baby!!! you came!” he runs up to you with a grin but you realize his eyes aren’t lighting up the way they usually do.

“of course i did,” you scoff, “you think i’d miss this?” you grab his arm and drag him over to kita. “kita-san, i hope you don’t mind me stealing atsumu for the rest of the day?” he shakes his head and waves you off. your eyes lock for a single moment, but you receive the message loud and clear. take care of him, will you? you nod slightly before dragging your boyfriend out of the stadium.

the drive to your hotel was silent, the music keeping it from becoming awkward. the walk to your hotel room was slightly worse. you finally enter and force him to sit on the bed.

“babe, i- what?” he asks, confused and slightly flustered.

“nothing like that you idiot.” you slap him lightly on the head. “just wanna talk ‘s all.”

he avoids your gaze but you grab his chin, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “hey” you smile, “how do you feel, my love?”

by this point, he looks to be on the verge of tears. you pull him into your chest and he finally breaks down.

“you deserve so much better than a loser like me, doll. much much better than someone who practices all day and all night and still couldn’t manage to bring his team past their first day- a complete and utter failure.” he sobs lightly. you shush him and run your hands through his hair.

“ ‘mu, you know you’re so much more than that, right?” you ask softly. he opens his mouth to interrupt but you continue, “you have a natural talent for this sport, and a drive and ambition unlike anyone i know. you’re the absolute best boyfriend, and a good brother. you’ve learned to care for your teammates, and they’ve learned to love you for you, not just your skills. you’ve grown so much as a person that no one can call you a failure- ever. and if they do, send them to me.” you crack your knuckles and finish with a wink.

he chuckled lightly and pulls away from you. “i love ya, you know? i really don’t know what i did to be able to get a partner as perfect as you.” he ends with a kiss.

- ushijima wakatoshi

his love language is gifts

okay his is specifically giving gifts

not even extravagant gifts, just small knickknacks he sees that reminds him of u

he knows he isn’t the best with his words, so he tries to make up for it with these trinkets

you enter the gym and your eyes immediately lock on your boyfriend. you see tendou nudge him and point over in your direction, and you smile at the way his eyes soften. you walk over to the bench and give him a small kiss.

“hey toshi” you say with a smile, “i hope you don’t mind me coming over to watch you.”

“of course not, my love. your presence is a very welcome distraction” he answers, his eyes lighting up as he remembered something, “actually, it is very convenient timing.”

he pulls something out of his bag and hands it to you. he watches the way your eyes light up at the keychain and explains, “i remembered that you wanted something for us to match,” he pulls out a matching keychain, the lighter side of the yin and yang symbol, “so i got us this. i assumed you would want the darker side? unless i assumed wrong and you wish to switch?”

you kiss him once more, “it’s perfect, tosh, thank you.” you reply with a bright smile, the joy in your eyes evident. you kiss him a final time before gently nudging him back to the court, “i’ll be here, miracle boy.” you say, amusement and love shining in your eyes.

as wakatoshi walks back toward his best friend, he realizes that he’d do anything to make sure you look at him like that for the rest of your lives.

- kuroo tetsurou

his love language is quality time

okay so i hc kuroo as someone who wants to be with you 24/7

like while doing hw he would be facetiming you, walks you to classes, wants you to watch practice & brings you home after, etc.

he does this because it makes him feel like he’s knowing everything there is to know about you. he wants to understand each and every side to you cause he knows it will only make him love you more.

“babyyy” kuroo whined, “are you done yet?”

you sighed and answered, “like the last 5 times you asked, no. if you want to go to the party that bad, then you can go ahead. i’ll try to catch up.”

he scoffed, “and have to suffer without you? no thanks.”

“they’re your friends.” you deadpanned, irritation evident in your eyes.

“okay, but you’re much more interesting- easier on the eyes too.” he winked, “and besides, i’m going to have to stare at their ugly faces for a week.”

“and you’ll miss me” you chimed in.

he nodded, “and i’ll miss you. which is why you should just come with me to the training camp. just, i don’t know, pretend to be a manager? please?” he pleaded.

“you’ll be fine without me for a week, you idiot.” you sighed, rolling your eyes.

“it will be a week of hell.” he stated, “which is why i want to spend as much time as i can with you before i have to leave. and if that means sitting here while you do your homework, then so be it.”