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the-mill-kat · 4 years

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Unshaken Chapter VI

Arthur Morgan x Reader (18+) Slow Burn

Posted March 29, 2020

Thank y’all so much for 250+ followers, that is amazin’!!!!! I hope you enjoy Chapter 6 of Unshaken, and please ***like/comment/reblog*** it means so much to me!

(Drawing specially requested/Art Credit: tylerzart)

You save a mysterious man who is dying on a mountain. Finding out he has Tuberculosis, you use your knowledge and skills with herbs and natural remedies to save him from death and help nurse him back to health. As he slowly starts to recover, you can’t help but wonder: Who is this man? Why had you found him the way that you did, beaten and ill? Only time, patience … and perhaps love … will tell.

I hate them, every outlaw out there.

The words rang in his head, and Arthur didn’t know how to react. He was almost nervous by the tension he felt rising between them now, but the feeling was only one-sided on his part.

She was completely unaware of the conflicting thoughts he was having now from those words. She had taken him in, nursed him back to health, and all the while she had never known who he was … what he was.

Murderers, thieves … outlaws. They had stolen her mother from her, someone close to her heart. Was he any different from them?

He understood her pain, the loss she felt for having lost someone she loved.

Not knowing how to react or what else to do, he continued rubbing his hand up and down her back in an effort to try and comfort her. “I’m truly sorry, Y/N. No one deserves to go through somethin’ like that.”

She let out a little sniff as she raised her head to look at him, wiping at her eyes and cheeks to get rid of the wet tears that had escaped. “You … You said you know how it feels to lose someone, Arthur.” Her sad eyes looked up at his, “Who did you lose?”

Arthur tensed.

He hadn’t been prepared for that question.

He was unable to figure out how to answer her, not without revealing himself and who he truly was.

He’d lost so many people. His entire gang, his family, either lost or dead. But he couldn’t tell her about any of them. He couldn’t reveal the people he’d lost without risking her recognizing any of those names and finding out who he’d been. He wasn’t sure if she even actually knew any of them, but he didn’t want to take that chance.

Besides, it wasn’t like he could’ve gone back to that life now. His old life was gone, and there was nowhere else to go.

But still … what the hell could he possibly say?

Now that he knew what she’d gone through, there was no damn way he was going to let her know what he’d been. She’d been through enough, there was no sense in allowing her to find out who he truly was, all the things he’d done. After all the care she had shown him she deserved to know him as a normal man.

So that’s who he was going to be.

He thought about Hosea, he thought about Dutch, he thought about the rest of the gang. He thought about Charles, of Lenny, of John …

Arthur lowered his eyes to the ground, emotion nearly tearing through him. “I lost a family,” his voice was hoarse, nearly gravel in tone, “they were very near and dear to me. Though we wasn’t related by blood, we stood by each other, keepin’ each other safe,” he lowered his lids, memories of them flooding him. “We did everythin’ to protect one another, no matter what damn mess we got ourselves in.” He could feel Y/N’s stare on him, and he turned his head to face her. Her expression was sympathetic, her eyes watering all over again. For him.

“I’m so sorry, Arthur,” her voice was cracked, as if she felt the same feelings that he did for the ones he’d lost.

He gave her a small smile. “I ain’t got no one now since you saved me from that mountain.”

It wasn’t an accusation, it was just the truth. He just wanted to let her know where he was in life now. Hell, he wasn’t even sure himself. His friends, any of them that were possibly left, he had no doubt they thought he was dead.

And John.

Arthur thought about the deer from his dream, about the fact that it had had John’s eyes. That it had turned away from him, heading towards an ominous storm.

He shook his head to clear the thought.

He had sent John away to lead a normal life with his own family.

Arthur couldn’t possibly try to reach out to John, not without risking even more than what both of them already had.

If he ever found John, there was no doubt him and John in the same place would attract dangerous and unwanted attention eventually. There was just no way in hell that it would ever end well.

Even though he desperately wanted more than anything to reach out to his brother, Arthur had to believe that John and his family were safe.

He had to let him go.

Arthur ran a hand through his chestnut-brown hair, squeezing the rough strands between his fingers. He grimaced, trying to focus on that small feeling rather than the pain that welled in his heart.

If he were truthful with himself, he wasn’t sure he was ever going to be able to move on.

He was supposed to have died on that damn rock.

But here he was.

He had to accept the fact that he needed to make a new life for himself … one way or another.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You watched as Arthur’s face seemed to twist in pain as he grabbed at his hair. You couldn’t bear to see him in that sort of agony. Reaching out you placed a hand on his arm, trying to get him to let go of his hair so he didn’t pull any of it out. “Arthur, please,” you whispered softly. “I’m sorry if I brought back any painful memories for you.”

He just shook his head as he lowered his arm, placing the hand on his journal instead as he stared down at it. “It ain’t your fault,” he said roughly, “Just gotta lot on my mind right now.” He cleared his throat, then patted hard at his chest with his other hand.

You observed his physical behavior closely, then you stood suddenly.

Arthur raised his head to look up at you. “Somethin’ wrong?”

You shook your head, “Not particularly. I just need to do another check-up on you.” You turned away to walk into the cabin, smiling a little as you heard his disapproving groan. As you gathered all the supplies you needed, you glanced over at his satchel. Maybe he would like to have it so he could carry his journal around easier, you thought. If he was going to be outside, it wouldn’t hurt to bring it out to him. You grabbed the brown bag and stepped back outside.

Luckily, Arthur hadn’t moved from his position on the bench. After having heard his less than favorable reaction to your statement earlier, you’d half-expected him to flee, though he probably wouldn’t have made it that far. Maybe that was the reason he was still here.

Either way, you knew that he knew you needed to look over him. Professionally, of course.

Sitting back down next to him again you placed your supplies on the small porch table by the bench swing. You held out his satchel to him, and when he gave you a puzzled frown you said, “I just thought it would make it easier for you to carry your journal around in, if you’re going to be outside for the day. You can keep the pencil, too.”

Arthur gave an amused smile as he let out a soft chuckle. “Thank you, honey,” he said as he reached out to take it, bringing the strap over his head so that it was looped around his neck, the bag getting tucked securely underneath his arm at his side. Then he placed the journal inside the satchel along with the pencil you had given him.

You gave him a smile, unable to help but blush a little from his gratitude. “You’re welcome, Arthur.”

Once you had all the supplies prepped, Arthur cooperated throughout the routine. It was almost second nature to him by now, no doubt. The stethoscope, listening to his heart and lungs, examining his mouth and throat. You smiled at him as you placed everything back on the tray. “Everything is looking wonderful, Arthur,” you said in a cheerful tone. “Honestly, I’m amazed at how quickly your body is healing.”

Arthur shrugged, his big shoulders tensing as he lifted them. “All cuz of you, honey,” he said teasingly with a grin, his deep drawl sending shivers up and down your spine.

Again, how on Earth could a man possess such a voice, you thought. Whoever was going to end up with him was going to be one lucky woman.

You froze, surprised that that thought actually sent a feeling of jealousy through you. But, why? The man clearly wasn’t interested in you in any way whatsoever. At least — he hadn’t shown any signs that he was. Sure he called you honey sometimes, but he’d told you it was simply because of the natural remedy you had been treating his tuberculosis with. So there was nothing romantic in that word, therefore it wasn’t an endearment, right?

You shook yourself mentally, feeling ashamed at the horrible emotion. You had no right to feel jealous over him. He was gorgeous, you had to admit, but that didn’t give you a right to him, not even if you saved his life. “How is everything feelin’ right now, Arthur?” You asked him, trying to get your mind away from that state. “Anythin’ hurting in your chest or throat?”

Arthur’s expression lifted as he shook his head. “Nothin’, Y/N. I don’t feel any pain at all.”

You nodded, happy with his answer. “That’s very good, Arthur. I’m very glad to hear that.” Grabbing a small glass vial from the tray, you pulled out one of the small leaves and held it out to him. “I need you to take this now.”

Arthur took the small leaf between his fingers, giving you a puzzled look. “This looks familiar.” He said, holding the leaf up in the light as he examined it closely.

“It’s Hummingbird Sage,” you informed him, “It should help give you a little bit of energy today.”

He smiled at you as he placed it in his mouth, and you watched as the bob in his throat moved, indicating that he had swallowed it. “Thanks, darlin’.”

You gave him another nod. “You’re welcome, Arthur, I’m just glad you’re doing better.”

His sharp blue eyes suddenly narrowed at you, “What about you?” He asked. “Have you been keepin’ yourself safe from the damn disease?”

He was referring to his tuberculosis, you knew. From that first night, when he’d tried to get away from you in an attempt to keep you from catching the disease, you’d tried to assure him that you were taking your own treatments, giving yourself the necessary herbs to kill off any potential bacteria.

“Yes, I’m just fine.” You replied.

He gave you a small smile, his beautiful blue eyes softening. “Good.”

You returned his smile. “Besides, you shouldn’t be infectious anymore. The medicinal properties should have killed off any active bacteria by now, if my past treatments are anything to go by.”

“I’m human.” He reminded you, his deep voice amused.

You blushed, “Yes, I know, Arthur.” You said, entwining your fingers around the glass vial nervously. “But I’m saying that if you wanted any sort of physical contact with anyone,” your blush grew hotter, but you reminded yourself that you were just giving him professional advice, as a doctor would to his patient, “there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, Tuberculosis can’t actually be spread by mouth or any sort of physical contact. Only just the coughing.”

You fiddled with the small vial, watching the tiny leaves shift back and forth within the glass. “But again, you don’t need to worry about us. I’ve treated this disease before and our herbs have never let us down in keeping us safe.”

Arthurs’ blue eyes just stared at you, his expression one of amusement, “You are way too smart for your own damn good, woman.” He teased.

You laughed, and your reaction made him smile. Both of you sat in silence for a moment, facing each other as the bench slightly swung back and forth.

Arthur’s blue stare skimmed over to your garden, and he asked, “So, you grow these herbs yourself?”

You rubbed your fingers together shyly as you glanced over at the variety of plants growing together. “Yes, I … I take notes in my mother’s journal about them. Whenever I discover anything new, that is. Any ailments they may treat or cure, what sort of treatment they need, how to grow them properly, how to prepare them for use or consumption. You name it, it’s all in there. Everything she and I know.”

“And this journal of yours, you fill it out yet?” Arthur asked, his tone amused as he turned his gaze back at you.

You gave a small laugh. “More like a book now, really. I’m very lucky my mother decided to get herself such a thick journal. Honestly, she filled up most of it. I’ve just been adding what I can, including some notes here and there on what she already wrote down.”

Arthur nodded, his eyes looking down slightly has he took in what you said. After a while, he looked back over at you again. “So how long you and Austin been livin’ up here?”

You looked over you shoulder to watch Austin working as you answered, “He and I, we’ve been up in these woods for about three years now. We used to live on our plantation with our father before Mother died. But I decided I didn’t want to stay cooped up there anymore.” You let out a long breath, lowering your gaze to your hands. “Father didn’t want me to leave. After what happened to Mother, he was scared to lose me. It took a long time to persuade him, but he finally gave in, but he insisted that Austin was to go with me for my own protection. Even Austin agreed.”

You smiled at the thought of your brother and his over-protective nature. “They didn’t want it any other way, and my brother came up here with me. We built this cabin since the , and it’s truly been a crazy few years up here.” You let out a small laugh at the memories.

Arthur grinned at your humor. “So what do you do up here usually?”

You watched as Austin picked up a pitchfork to lift up a patch of hay. “We mostly get by on our own. My brother hunts for us while I grow vegetables and fruits in the garden.” Your smile faded as you spoke the next words. “It’s been hard lately though. With winter coming up in a couple months, Austin has been finding it harder to find anythin’. He’s … he never quite learned how to hunt or track, he’s sort of ... self-taught,” you confessed.

Arthur’s eyes widened at that, “So you two been strugglin’ up here off and on all this time?”

You nodded, hating to admit it, but it was the truth. “That’s why Austin was so mad when I took you in. I’m sure he never hated you personally, he just … he just worries, is all.”

Arthur stared at you for a moment, his blue eyes unmoving as he seemed lost in thought. After a few minutes, he finally asked, “Would you like me to teach y’all how to hunt?”

You jerked your head back over to him, your expression and voice surprised, “What?”

He looked over at Austin and back at you again. “I have a few skills under my belt, if y’all are interested in learnin’ how to track and hunt. Hell, I’d be glad to, it’s the least I can do to return the favor for now.” With those words he suddenly stood.

His action surprised you, but he didn’t give you any time to respond as he walked off the porch and headed towards your brother. What had just happened? You stood up to follow him. He was getting quicker on his feet since his body had been getting better, and him being a big man you already had to run to catch up to him. By the time you finally did he was already approaching Austin.

Austin noticed Arthur as he walked up to him and straightened up from the hay he was spreading on the ground. “Hey, cowpoke,” His voice was a teasing tone, but Arthur wasn’t amused.

“Don’t test me, boah,” he said, his blue eyes narrowing dangerously. He placed both his hands on his belt, then said in an amused tone, “Your sister here says you don’t know how to hunt.”

“What the hell, Y/N?!” Austin snapped furiously, a blush showing up in his cheeks.

“I didn’t say it like that!” You snapped back furiously, then stepped back. You brought your hand to play with your hair nervously. “Well, not exactly like that, anyway. I just — I just told him you’ve been havin’ a hard time with it because you were never … properly taught.”

Austin’s eyes narrowed at you, his expression still shadowed with anger. “Why would you tell him that?”

Arthur intervened into the conversation, his deep voice penetrating the air as he lifted his arms from his sides. “If you’re interested, boah, I’ll teach you how to track and hunt so you can catch more game.”

Austin looked back over at Arthur, his eyes nearly wide, his entire expression looking stunned. He almost looked like the young boy that was just told he was getting a horse for his birthday all over again. “You … you’ll what? You’d teach me to do all that?” He voice nearly sounded breathless, almost excited. He was clearly thinking back to when Arthur had shot that jackrabbit, the way he’d done it so flawlessly with such little effort. “I would — I would like that,” he stuttered, actually admitting to the truth to your surprise, again almost like a star-struck child. “When you’re better, I mean, I … Yeah, that might actually be fun.”

You knew how hard it was for your brother to admit to something like that, you thought, especially when it was about one of his flaws. But this could probably be a chance for the two of them to get along better.

Arthur nodded. “Sounds good, feller.” He looked around, placing his hands back on his belt as he took in the surroundings. “There anythin’ you need me to do here now? I need to find somethin’ to do other than lay on a damn couch all day,” he said, his voice sharp at the last words.

Austin looked taken aback, seeming a bit surprised that Arthur actually wanted to do some work. He nodded slowly, “Well, we need to catch some fish.” He looked over to the stream, “I was plannin’ to do it after this but I would really appreciate it if someone else did it for me. I really need to take the horses for a ride, give them some exercise outside their pen.” He narrowed his eyes at Arthur, “Do you know how to fish?”

“’Course I do,” Arthur said assuredly, giving a single nod.

“Good, cuz Y/N sure don’t.”

“Austin!” You snapped.

“Eye for an eye, sister, plus it’s the truth,” your brother stated, a grin stretching that stupid loud mouth of his.

You growled as he turned away, heading over to the small shack by the stables. He pulled out a large metal bucket with fishing supplies and a long fishing rod. He came back, holding the bucket out to Arthur. “Got everythin’ you need in here. Bait, lures,” he held out the fishing rod, “And here’s this.”

Arthur took the rod, but before he took the large bucket you snatched it out of your brother’s hand. “I will be holding this,” you said, looking at Arthur sternly, “I won’t be lettin’ you lift anything heavy.”

Those blue eyes lit up in amusement as Arthur smiled at you. “Alrighty then, darlin’,” his deep voice teased, “You’re strong, aint’cha?”

His comment nearly surprised you, you had expected him to protest you taking a share of the load, which would’ve annoyed you. But he hadn’t. He saw you as a completely capable woman able to carry your own weight. He was clearly not one of those high-society types, you thought, your heart lifting with a smile.

“Hey now,” Austin interrupted, “I ain’t toleratin’ any of that sweet-talk toward my sister.” His tone was light-hearted, but you could hear a trace of protectiveness underneath it.

You realized at that moment that that was the very first time Arthur had actually called you any sort of endearment right in front of your brother. Now that you thought about it, he’d never even called you honey when your brother was in the same room. Why was that?

Austin was right back to being his usual self again. “Alright, then. I’m going to take the horses out on their run. I’ll be back in about an hour or so.” He gave Arthur a dark look. “Don’t you dare try anythin’ with my sister, mister.”

Arthur’s dark brows furrowed, his expression amused at the fact that Austin was daring to talk to him like that, but he seemed to understand. Austin was just acting as a normal brother would. “Don’t you worry, feller,” he said, his voice matter-of-fact, “Your sister’s safe with me.”

Austin gave him a quizzical look, “She’d better be. Otherwise, I know she has her shotgun to take you out if I ain’t here.”

Arthur looked over at you and winked. His unexpected action made you blush, and you looked down at your feet to avoid those piercing blue eyes.

Austin nodded, as if he was sure he’d made his point. He came over to give you a hug, “I’ll be back soon, alright, Y/N?” Then he whispered in your ear. “Make sure he don’t try nothin’ stupid.”

You smirked at his words, even after a whole month Austin still had his doubts sometimes. You returned his hug, “Alright, Austin. Take care of Lily and stay safe.”

Since Butch was loyal to Austin, your brother often rode on Lily whenever he took them for a ride, knowing the war horse would follow him anywhere. It was better than tying poor Lily up to a rope and leading her with another horse like some kind of wild animal.

“You know I will. I’ll see you soon.” Austin gave you a peck on the forehead and headed towards the stables, waving over his shoulder. You watched as your brother climbed onto Lily and lead the horses away, taking them down a beaten path and disappearing into the thick woods.

“Alright,” Arthur huffed, “let’s get to it,” He grinned at you and started walking over to the stream with the fishing rod. You followed closely behind with the bucket. As you both reached the waterline, you set the bucket down on the large stump and sat down on the thick fallen log next to it.

Arthur knelt to the ground by the stump and reached into the bucket, pulling out a few lures and two cans of bait along with a can-opener. You watched as he got to work on setting everything up, tightening up the fishing line in the reel and attaching one of the lures to the end, his fingers working flawlessly. He made it look so easy.

“So, how long you been fishin’, Arthur?” You asked as he opened one of the cans with the small metal tool.

He looked up from his work briefly, “I was taught at a young age,” he answered, “Hosea showed me how.”

“Hosea? Who’s he?”

Arthur seemed to still, stopping what he was doing. Then a dark shadow went over his eyes as he appeared to get lost in thought.

“He was like a father to me.” He finally said, his voice nearly hoarse, “Took me in when I was about fourteen, raised me ever since.” He lowered his head, “I lost him not that long ago.”

You brought a hand up to your mouth, suddenly feeling terrible for having asked about the man. Arthur looked so pained now. “I’m so sorry, Arthur.”

He just gave a weak smile. “It’s fine,” was all he said for a long while, but his voice sounded far from sincere. “Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done.”

You gave Arthur a sympathetic look as he pulled some bait from the can and started attaching it to the lure. “I’m know he’s looking down on you, Arthur. I’m sure he’s proud of you,” you said, trying to comfort him. You didn’t know who Hosea was, but the man had raised Arthur from a child. And having seen the kind of man Arthur was assured you that Hosea had no doubt a good person.

Arthur looked up at you and gave a soft smile. “Thanks, honey.” After a long moment he went back to work on completing the task of connecting the bait to the lure.

“Okay,” He grunted once he was finished, standing back up to his feet, “We’re ready now.”

He walked over to the waterline. Bringing the rod over his shoulder, he swung the thing forward, and the lure travelled swiftly through the air, landing onto the water’s surface in the middle of the wide stream.

He playing and yanking at the fishing pole, cranking the reel every so often.

“What are you doing?” You asked, curious to his small actions.

“What d’ya mean?” He didn’t look back at you, his mind completely focused on his task. “Yankin’ the fishin’ line?”

You nodded, “Does that attract the fish?”

He looked over his shoulder at you then, a look of surprise on his face, “So Austin was tellin’ the truth, then. You don’t know how to fish?”

You lowered your head in embarrassment, shaking it back and forth in a ‘no.’

Arthur laughed, and his reaction surprised you. Why would that be funny? You narrowed your eyes, slightly offended.

“C’mere,” he motioned with one of his hands at you, prompting you to come forward.

You hesitated for a few seconds, but then you stood up from the log and walked over until you were standing next to his tall form. Arthur reeled in the line til the lure was withdrawn from the water.

“Here, take this,” he said. He held out the fishing rod to you, and you took it with a shaky hand. It was a little heavier than it looked, and you almost dropped it, but thankfully you managed to get a good grip on it with both of your hands.

“Alright,” Arthur said. “Stand right here.” He stood behind you and grabbed both your shoulders with his big hands, positioning you right at the edge of the water. His closeness astonished you. Did he even realize the blush that was starting to form on your face? Did he even register how close he truly was, or was his mind just on the fishing lesson?

“Now,” he said, his deep drawl firm, “Once you get a good stance, you’re gonna throw that fishin’ lure into the water.” He stood at your side then and imitated the action from earlier, moving his arms to show you how to throw the line properly. “Now once you toss it, ya need to let go of the reel so that it can unravel.

With slight hesitation and a lot of confusion, you held up the rod and snapped it forward, but you forgot to let go of the reel, causing the line to whip around and catch you on your thigh. “Ouch!” You shouted, grabbing at the lure that was now stuck on your pant leg.

“You alright?” Arthur sounded concerned as he walked around you to look at the hook now snagged in the cloth.

“Yes,” you said, catching your breath, “it just pinched me a little.”

“Here,” Arthur reached out with his hands and worked the hook loose. “There we go.”

You gave him a grateful smile as he stepped back around you. “Thank you.”

He chuckled. “Least I can do, wanna try again?”

You thought about it then nodded, smiling at him. “Sure, why not?” You tried a few more times, all the while Arthur mimicking how to throw the lure in an effort to help. Your throws were weak at first, but on your fifth attempt you finally managed to get a good toss and the lure flew through the air, landing out in the middle of the wide stream. “I did it!” You shouted happily.

Arthur smiled, “That you did, honey.” He came to stand behind you. “Now, you gotta pull at the fishin rod to get a fish’s attention. It won’t give a damn about the lure otherwise. You need to make the lure act like prey just asking to be eatin’.”

You nodded, then started yanking at the pole.

“Not so hard, now,” Arthur said with a chuckle, placing a hand on your wrist. “You gotta do it in short bursts. Little twitches here and there.” You did as he said. “There ya go, darlin’. Now, slowly start bringin’ the line back in, the lure will look like a small fish swimmin’ across the surface.”

You cranked the reel slowly, bringing the line in at a snail’s pace.

Suddenly the lure was yanked hard.

“You got one!” Arthur shouted.

“What do I do?” You asked frantically.

“Calm down, just start pullin’ the rod and reel that big sucker in.”

You struggled to pull but the fish was fighting you hard. How on Earth did such a small creature have so much strength? Arthur reached over to help you pull the rod back and you started reeling the fish in until it was at the shoreline. Finally you yanked it out of the water.

“You got yourself a Muskie there, honey!” Arthur exclaimed, his grin wide, his face glowing as if he were proud of you.

“I did it!” You said happily, all but ecstatic. Arthur helped you to undo the hook from the fish’s mouth and placed the fish into the large bucket.

“Good job,” Arthur said as he came back over. He reached out and patted you hard on the shoulder with his big hand. “Your first fish, and a big feller at that.”

You smiled widely, “That was so exciting, I want to try that again!”

Arthur chuckled, “Go for it, honey. You need my help?”

You thought about it. Arthur had used up quite a bit of energy helping you haul in that fish, and truth be told you actually wanted him to take a break. You shook your head. “No, Arthur, I got this one. Do me a favor?”

He looked at you expectantly.

“Go sit over on that log and rest for a bit.”

He closed his eyes in a huff, “Why did I get the feelin’ you were gonna tell me somethin’ like that?”

You gave him another one of your playful sad looks to try and appeal to him, “Please, Arthur?”

He let out a long, loud sigh. “Fine, honey. I’ll watch you on this one.” His words sounded stoic, not thrilled at all to be left out of the action. But he did as you asked, going over to sit on the large fallen log.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Arthur had known the woman was going to say something along the lines of ‘you need to rest.’ Dammit, he’d been hearing those words endlessly over the last month.

And honestly, why did he listen to her? He wondered that as he sat down on the thick log, facing Y/N so he was able to watch her fish. As he watched her throw the lure back out to the stream, he remembered the answer.

She was persistent, absolutely ruthless when it came to his health. Whenever he protested, she never let up.

Y/N cared about him, he had no doubt in his mind about that.

He couldn’t help himself as he took in her form, appreciating her body again. Damn, she was beautiful, he thought. A strong woman with a strong mind. He needed a woman like that, someone who wasn’t afraid to back down from him.

As she reeled in the lure and threw it out again, he thought about what she’d said to him earlier, about everything she’d gone through. The hardship she endured from having lost her mother to outlaws, moving away and living out here off the land with her brother.

He wondered who her father was. She’d said that she had lived on a plantation, and he wondered which one, if he would recognize it if she told him.

He smiled as he heard her curse under her breath.

Y/N was a damn god-send, he thought. She had saved his life, with no thought or worry for her own needs.

He needed to find a way to thank her. He wanted to help her in some way, to repay her somehow.

Arthur scratched at the underside of his jaw with the back of his thumb, thinking about how he could possibly repay her for all she had done.

He smiled to himself as he thought about her telling him about the white lily, her favorite flower, how much it meant to her. She’d said that they couldn’t grow in this area and that she couldn’t grow any for herself.

He knew what they looked like, maybe he could —

Arthur froze, a single thought sitting in his head. He immediately opened his satchel and pulled out his journal, opening it to another blank page. Without a second’s hesitation he began to sketch.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You huffed, starting to get irritated at the lack of any fish biting. You started to think that you were damn lucky in getting that other fish, let alone such a massive one. After about twenty minutes you reeled the line in, done for the time being. Fishing was clearly fun, but only when there were actual fish.

Turning around you walked back over to Arthur, sitting down on the log next to him and propping the fishing rod up against it. He was giving you a strange look, his blue eyes almost sparkling. “What is it, Arthur?”

“I … ,” His voice sounded rough, his eyes still having that strange look. He opened his journal and tore out a single page with a drawing on it. “I thought you might like this, Y/N.” He handed the paper over to you and you took it.

The sketch you saw instantly had your eyes nearly watering.

A white lily.

“Arthur … this is … ” You couldn’t find the words, feeling like you could barely breathe at the sight.

“This is so beautiful,” you finally breathed out. “Thank you.”

Emotion overcame you and you couldn’t control yourself as you suddenly reached up and laid a kiss on his cheek.

You pulled away to see Arthur’s stunned expression.

You were absolutely appalled at what you had just done. “I’m — I’m so sorry, Arthur, I didn’t mean … I — I don’t know what came over me ... I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

Those shining blue eyes glittered as he looked at you with amusement, a beautiful smile slowly lifting on his face. “Is that right, honey?”

Then with that he leaned in ... and placed a kiss on your lips.

— To Be Continued

#unshaken #unshaken part 6 #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x y/n #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #red dead #red dead redemption #red dead redemption imagine #red dead redemption fanfic #red dead fanfic #rdr2 fanfic #romance #drama #slow burn #love

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lady-byleth · 5 years

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Okay so I've made it back to the War Phase of Verdant Wind and I've been thinking about how absolutely flawlessly Claude and Byleth slip back into their roles, how they seem to click even better than ever actually

And like, we all know Claude never once gave up on her and he was probably incredibly annoying about it to those around him (read: people were real worried) - by which I for once mean Nader

Because Nader is his retainer and his trainer, he's taught Claude everything he knows about fighting and with a war going on I can imagine he drops by more than ever to make sure Claude is on top of his game

And skilled warriors like Nader can tell a lot about how a person feels from how they handle their weapons, something that several characters are adapt at in their supports

So I imagine they're sparring and Nader is trying to gauge the kid's overall mental state and comes away surprised cuz...he's doing surprisingly well. He's worried sure, and he's lonely, but it's not crippling or affecting his fighting the way he's seen grief do to others

But that makes no sense, he's heard Claude talk about that Professor of his, and he's heard the news about her disappearance, so by rights Claude should be devastated

Nader of course worries Claude might be suppressing those feelings and decides to dig. Gently.

"So...how you holding up, kiddo?"

Claude, in the middle of wiping sweat off his brow, pauses to give him a look. "I'm fine?" he says, sounding suspicious. "Why are you asking?"

"Well, with all that's been going on, I wouldn't hold it against you to be a little shaken still."

Claude shrugs "Yeah, doesn't happen every day a classmates starts a war and invades your current home. But stranger things have happened and it's not like I died so."

Nader frowns and decides to prod a little bit more. "Maybe not but...I heard about the Professor."

At this a shadow flickers across Claude's face, something that might be sadness or pain, but it's gone before it can take hold.

"Yeah, let's not do this now."

"You have to talk about it eventually," Nader insists.

Claude groans and sheathes sword. "Talk about what exactly? How everyone just assumes she's dead and tries to get me to mourn?" He rolls his eyes. "There's nothing to mourn, she's not dead."

Nader is really worried now because if the kid is this deep in denial... "Listen," Nader begins slowly, "I've lost people too, I know it's hard--"

Claude cuts him off with an impatient wave of the hand. He's the real Claude for once, not the one who puts on smiles and pretends to be unaffected by everything and Nader sees this side of him so rarely he holds his breath.

"I know you're trying to help," Claude says, an edge to his voice, "but she's not dead. Hell, this is the woman who fused with a deity and cut a hole into time and space because she was a little bit pissed off, you think a puny invasion will stop her? Please." He ends on a scoff and Nader suddenly knows he's not just saying things. He truly believes it too.

But for all Nader knows, Claude might be convincing himself of something that won't happen so Nader crosses his arms.

"How certain are you?" he asks. "Why are you so sure that this woman is as unstoppable as you say?"

"Because I know her. And I trust her."

Now Nader is shocked. Claude and trusting someone? Especially someone he hasn't known for long? It's so close to a miracle that Nader, in his old age, doesn't know what to say.

And then Claude drives the point home.

"You know what," he says and draws the dagger at his hip, "let me make this clear once and for all." And with a quick movement so fast and sure Nader barely has time to see it Claude cuts off his braid.

"Woah kid, what the hell are you doing?!"

The braid is a near sacred tradition in their culture, something incredibly personal and meaningful. It represented life and growth. To cut it off...it only happened during the most important moments in a person's life, during sacred vows and lifelong promises.

And now Claude holds his in his fist, his eyes as sure and determined as ever. "I swear on this, on my life, that she's coming back. So stop trying to get me to talk about my feelings, it won't happen. I won't mourn someone who isn't dead."

He shoves the braid into Nader's hand, turns on his heel and marches out, leaving Nader behind in stunned silence.

Not long after this Duke Riegan dies after a short but violent illness, leaving Claude to take up the mantle of Leader.

Claude does mourn now, but for his lost grandfather, and looks sadly to his side where Nader can feel the presence of someone not there. But that is all he mourns.

Nader watches as Claude matures, his shoulders broaden, his hair grows longer, a beard frames his face in a way that somehow made him seem even more rougish than ever.

And still he doesn't mourn. But he grows lonlier by the day. Until not quite five years after the invasion, where he looks at the calender and becomes restless. And then one day he simply packs his things and leaves Derdriu and the territory in Nader's hands without a word.

When he comes back...he isn't alone. And Nader knows before either of them speaks that Claude had been right the entire time.

She is alive and had been waiting for the right moment to return to Claude who has been keeping the space at his side open for her since the day she disappeared.

He asks anyway, who might this beautiful princess be, and of course he gets the answer he expects, delivered without an ounce of pride or gloating. Claude is merely stating a fact, something he has always known would happen eventually.

And as Nader watches them talk, alternating between conversations about war and lighthearted teasing, it feels like she's never truly been gone at all.

"I'll be damned, kiddo," he mumbles to himself and fingers the frayed braid he's kept in his pocket this entire time. "Your princess - your Goddess - really came back to you."

When he says it, he knows he's hit gold.

Goddess.

That's what the look in his eyes means.

Claude might not worship any higher being, but his trust in her is near religious.

She's his friend, his confidant, his one and only Goddess.

Nader never doubts this woman - Byleth - again.

#fire emblem three houses #three houses spoilers #Claude von Riegan #Nader fire emblem #byleth eisner #Byleth #Claudeth

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randomliven · 4 years

Text

WARNING LONG POST HEAVY SPOILERS

Episode4. Play back rewatch

*Open scene Montrose

*Drinking. Going through the memories of his mind

He drinks and still he remembers it all

*God Smites Eve

*2:12 "Give this to tic protect our family" GEORGE

*The Order of the ancient dawn

*You might be all Tic has left

*"Smells like Tulsa

*Bitcx better have my money

*Christina glides through cars

* Black arrow (nods it off)

*leti was ready

*Bitcx tried to walk in like she own the place

*the protection spell works 'akirum

She seemed impressed and snide

*your money (leti realizes where the money came from

**L: "You want something in this house. Something to. do with Atticus"

**Ct: "Dont let the men fool you into thinking its Always about them. "

**His blood may have power but thats only because itus spelled it that way. Hes Not Special. Not really

Christina is a Snitch

*"If he keeps operating like this hes going to get you killed "Again"

(she looks sincere) (im telling yall xtina did this before)

* "I dont want that. Or this house. I just want the orrery"

(To discover a world of first) (chritina dont lie withold yes)

You can get the Fuck up off my Porch

Call me

*Hippolyta calls her daddy... She has the Orrery

She smart as hell

*The new comic diana drawing..outta this universe

Moves and predicts the relative position of planets

*leti tells tic about tina paying for house

*Tic with holds information from leti

*knows tina used tic to kill father

tic was go kill her then just leave

Lil boy with Coke bottle glasses ( just like tic but not tic

*two sets of pages still exist

*the orrery is the key

(using the orrery to go into another world to find his pages)

Titus kept it hidden

*Casting spells to protect

*ask ya daddy " i dont want yall involved"

(Sound like his daddy when they saved him)

They in the back

Every time i tell you to do something yo do the opposite

*" how you kno its 34 lodges"

*"I cant help you kill yourself. You cant see this game she is setting up for you to play"

(Montrose and Christina have done this before.. I cant wait till the final. I need to kno)

*"Looking for answers you already have"

Boston

*"I know where to find that dame vault"

Christina plays hide and seek for the first time

Christina screaming "Im safe."

The police arrive for her to take her to ...

Lancaster

*She didnt mention leti being in the house specie or tic

Says convince "hyrum"

*she knows there is someone in the closet right away

*xtina says time machine

* " let "negros" move in..(vs niggers) cocky

Take my lodges

*did i miss your initiation into the order..

No cunts allowed

The silent fight

Let go. You told me to let go

Hyp suspicious

It so happens to be at a astrology museum

Tree

Ruby walks into Marshal fields

"Work like kobe just to shine like Russel"

Sees Tamara

"Yes yesterday"

"I applied on a whim"

Boston

Lights of the universe

Leti's face watching rose go with the guard

*"u kno y they call me tree"

"Shouldnt i already kno that since we fuc in highschool simore" rolls eye at that liar

True story: Harriet chariot

*MY MAMA NAMED THAT COMET

*Many artefacts Titus was giving in exchange for striping away everything they knew

(Stolen after killing, probably raping and enslaving the native people)

*tree hints at Montrose being gay to tic

Tic questions how mon knows the guard

The vault

*Christina pulls up goes around the gate

(William comes out 30seconds later, yes we kno the skin change happens in seconds seeing ruby change, BUT HOW IN THE HELL did xtina put on a whole suite down to the tie that quick)

Do they not kno william cuz then lancaster wouldnt have known it wasnt xtina when he dies.

She kick they ass

*William says i have a Date

Find a way to open it

Montrose finds the moonlight

How old is this museum

*"This is some journey to the center of the earth type shit"(name of book coke bottle kid in library was reading)

3tunnels

Ever the tide shall rise

Map of titus voyage's..

No telling Letitia fuc N lewis No

Dont help me

Yellow

*Based on adventure novels the tunnels should be based on the map.

*How you know he raided Diana

"I read a damn book

*1810 it was built

Established the sons of Adam 3yrs later

*Whats down the other tunnel?

The lantern being there

Ruby drowning her blues away to a half empty bar

Is copper considered a yellow

Voluptuousness

*I cant afford another one

Blues eyes got ya tab tonight

*A nod. A gulp

*"May i join you?" They dont sit

Keep my glass full"...

*Yall white boys dont come to the dark side for modesty (demanding woman

* i can buy my own drinks ( pride)

Take a bit more to impress me White Boy

*Never insult you to make you a kept woman

* promise me the world to lay with me

*a promise i can keep

(All she needs is the orrery & she literally can give Ruby Many worlds)

The way they look at Ruby

*20min of walking

Walking the plank

Tic brave

Tf me 1st

Learned how to lie

*juneteenth

* "FREEMEN WERE NEVER SLAVES"

She out there

Spider senses

Tic has training

Booby trap

Big fucking deal

The bored starts to disappear

Jump pop

Better catch me Boy. (I got ya kid)

Now they can run shuffle

Montrose knows the combination

Jessie owens

*The tide rising.. Less than an hr

Ruby "got there 1st, shoulda been me but i let Leti distract me"

They sat there all night

*"Whoes leti"

(i dont think Christina knew leti Nd Ruby were sisters before that moment based on willtinas expression

*"my half sister" (willtina Gulps (becoming a signature

* if i was in your skin i wouldnt even have to run"

*what to do about it?

William with them eyes.

*"Better stop looking at me like that, It Aint happening

White Boy"

I Put a Spell on You plays

Ruby want it

(Im more than sure this is Willtinas 1st time, also wonder if so as a woman. Possible leti was a virgin)

Willtina looked confused by the blood. Primal reaction

Ruby in control

William excited, whoa lip biting

The mark of Cain. Big Dic Energy

*" How you kno so much about the sons of adam?"

* george gave me the bylaws i burned it

My brother said protect the family. His dying wish

(Was to give Tic the book, but you cant tell Montrose what to do with his son)

Closing Pandoras box once Nd for good

You wont stop

*Leti finds the neighbors body who went missing

*Chicago to Boston 14hr drive

(They walk 20min to the plank maybe another 20 to yahima)

*sees elevator come down, looks familiar

*Epistien was apart of the order prob chasing the pages... He was missing an arm

This might get dangerous

*he was kidnapped. I Died.

*"not the center of the fucking universe"

Leti can swim too

*Fatherly advice

Ya mama was complicated too

*all that fussing is loving

*Epstein day look like he was missing an arm and like a drowned victim

I don't think Christina knew about the tunnels or at least she knew that she couldn't open them

Black folk dont watch bones come alive & just stare

*reaches. (Back the fuc up

* they have the same symbol on their stomach. The Regeneration spell

*yahima Woman man two spirit

*had no reason to distrust him

ALWAYS HUNGRY

*he killed them all (stole they shii) enslaved

Tic look like Will Smith as a fish in shark tail

*she dont know my spirit

Montrose Takes pages anyway (i think knowing booby trap)

. Grabs yama

*montrose drops the pages purposefully

Like damn leti. Grabbing for her

The kiss. The scream. The knockout

*how did they get back without woodie

*is that your dad's atlas

*devon county circled. Ardum reaper. Hyp makes a detour

*siren. Ill figure out how to help her talk

*"You were brave boy. Grew to be a good man spite me"

*he already had the plan

Damn montrose

#lovecraft country #ruby x christina #christina x ruby #tic x leti

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koiandjelly · 4 years

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So Fila’s actual past isn’t very detailed, because she’s not a main OC, and I haven’t spent a ton of time actually thinking about her as a character lol. 98% of my Creativity goes to my original content characters, cuz someday when I finish actually crafting my worlds, I’m gonna write a book. I’m aiming for the lofty goals of making a full, fleshed out, intricate— just fuckin’... a whole ass Multiverse system comparable to the Lore content of Tolkien’s works, or The Elder Scrolls— gah fuck y’know what, I’m changing this post from being about my Fantasy Life OC to being about my creation baby, the effort of about 6 years (I am 20 years old, and although I didn’t know it at the time I started, I was 14 when I made the shitty Fire Emblem Manakete rip-off race that I’m gonna actually now talk about, because holy fuck this ain’t gonna fit in a parenthesis “btw have some info” bubble)

A’ight so I have a hard time keeping track of time, especially in a large scale across years. Apparently it’s related to being severely depressed without medication (communication error on my part, my parents are very lovely and helped me ASAP when I spilled the beans) while also having moderate to severe ADD. So, ya know, keep in mind that I was yet another terribly depressed 8th grader when I talk about my creation’s early days. I wouldn’t experience that time of my life for any sort of payment ever. It was goddamn miserable, because when I was midway through the age of 14, not only did the aforementioned depression spring up, but I also realized I was bisexual (And I live in the infamous state of Alabama, for reference. Don’t fear for me though, I was too unnoticeable to be bullied if anyone did know, and my wonderful mother, whom I love and cherish with all of my heart, is one of the few Christians that actually... like... do what their own God tells em to. That is, Jesus. I’m an atheist and have a general discomfort about the idea of super powerful entities actually existing irl, but I do agree with the stuff I’ve heard and remember from a decade ago in Church about Jesus. Good guy. But yeah my mom not only accepted me and reassured me when I came out, but she’s gone even further and is of the opinion/fact that lgbt folks are, really, good and normal and that God created them, so she really genuinely just... loves and accepts me. There’s no “I love you despite of this” in the equation and I am so grateful. But again. I digress)

Pause after that sidetrack, to recap, all of my medical issues began to emerge about 6 months before I turned 15. Including what I hate most, the emergence of my Fibromyalgia and Sjogren’s Syndrome, and for an added kick to the flesh, an undifferentiated connective tissue disorder. Meaning, as what I understand it to be, a nameless chimaera of many symptoms in a way that the disorder either is it’s own thing, or just can’t easily be recognized as any one disorder. And I had anxiety. If I recall correctly on *that*, forgive me cuz it’s been a while since it’s been diagnosed/brought up in a significant way, I have or had either general anxiety *and* social anxiety, or just lightweight versions of both, or something, but at the time I was horribly shy and I couldn’t even talk to the teacher after class about schoolwork, even though I tried rationalizing it to hell and back that I shouldn’t be scared— as you’ll guess, shit didn’t work out til I got medicine for it, because no amount of logic and rational thought will change the fact that I was struggling because of a literal disorder, an error of the brain, and as with that walking with two shattered femurs ain’t gonna work, trying to talk when the talk machine broke... ain’t going to goddamn work.

God. I am rambling a lot. But anyway, shit fucking sucked as a teen for me, because I got that wombo combo, prepare for trouble, make it double, precision strike at my existence as a person during fucking already difficult puberty— I am rambling. It’s 4:55am as of this sentence lmao. I had a nasty cocktail of both mental illness and physical disorders pop up once puberty hit me, so I, through many events starting from loving to draw as a toddler, to play pretend stories of heartbreak, betrayal, and death as best an 8 year old could understand via playing with Polly Pockets, and all the creative power I inherited from my Dad, plus the motivation borne through a need to escape, I started making my own characters.

So, to return to the present state of my creations, which will now be referred to as Bounding Beyond the Stars, or BBtS, I’m gonna get some things out of the way. Just to clarify, yeah? I have created my worlds in a way that is specifically meant to stand apart from the irl universe as we know it. I’m certainly not a knowledgeable researcher with any level of comprehension on Spacial law and quantum physics and shit like that. So hey, if something ever seems... like, off, or wrong? Unless it’s pretty obviously wrong in the “hey you just googled how a thing works, and misunderstood it, and made a detail based on a failure to understand stuff and that’s dumb in a catastrophic way that even a high school level viewer would notice...” kind of mistake, then hey, shoot me a message. But if some sort of universal rule seems fucky in the way that it doesn’t make sense, but isn’t a catastrophic structural error... well, Imma use that sentence to start a better one. For an example of a catastrophic error, perhaps... this: “This planet has no seasons cuz of its shape and axis! And it is also like twice as big as Earth!” That would be catastrophic alone because anyone with a grasp on planetary gravity or something, may go and think “if it’s that big, gravity’s gonna be way more intense”. And you’d be right! Which is why I usually account for those things with... *Magic*.

Before I split this post for Length reasons, and I’m sorry the majority of this was me rambling about how my general experience with life sucked from ages 14-17, I’mma state something very important about all my creations.

Magic, which will be explained in depth at a later point, is a fundamental, essential, and omnipresent force of not just any one universe in my Multiversal Trio. It is a key piece of Reality itself, as magic is the flow of many multiples of millions of unique and mysterious energies, concepts, and laws existing anywhere that Is.

To end this post, I’m going to put a quick summary and explanation why I’m rambling about any of this: The rant about my age and circumstances at the start are relevant because it’s necessary context for the tone and type of writing my creations are built upon. The foundations of BBtS are borne from a sometimes angsty, sometimes genuinely upset 14 year old who found escape in the art of Creation. There have been many, many, many heavy edits, rewrites, scrapped info and ideas, and even more info built upon it. It used to be pretty pointlessly edgy in a lot of ways, and redundant in grimdark, morphing into *grimderp* plot devices and character traits. The way it’s written today, I like to think the lore of my many high fantasy-alien societies, and all its denizens and creators and whatever else, are still written to be dark, be dangerous, even angsty... but more skillfully so, with the sort of nuance a 14 year old wouldn’t really even begin to understand. Cuz I still like high stakes stories with real consequences and character deaths when appropriate. And I enjoy characters who have tragic pasts, but now that I’m older and I’ve seen and read about and done so much more— I can write that stuff *better*. And more over, what I’m most satisfied with, is that I’m more in touch with myself as a person, and I’ve evolved many of my personal beliefs and ideals and all the things of the world I can have opinions on. But most of all, I’ve reached a point where I have consumed enough content from others to where I have figured out how to write something that should be interesting, and maybe a bit new, because I put a looot of Damn focus on identifying, and understanding, writing structure, cliches, plot holes to avoid, character traits to handle differently, and just generally making something that’ll appeal to both me, and my audience, should I get that far.

#original content #ramble #long ramble #worldbuilding #personal history #long post #fantasy #sci-fi #science fiction #it’s currently 5:24am as i think of appropriate tags lol #sleep deprived #late night/early morning thoughts

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #219

“make a move and you pay for it; pick a lord and you pray to it.”

Do you actually love your grandpa? I don't really remember either of mine. I do from what I remember and have learned of them, though. Do you actually love your grandma? I don't remember my dad's mom at all, but I mean, I love her simply for being my dad's mother, who loved her. My mom's mom, yeah, even though she's. Hard to like a lot of the time. Do you have Facebook? Yes. What was the last thing you posted on someone’s wall? A birthday post. Do you have MySpace? My old one still exists, but I sure haven't been on it since it was current. What is your favorite kind of music? Heavy metal. Favorite soft drink? Mountain Dew Voltage is actually cocaine to me rip. Favorite food? Probably like... pepperoni pizza or cheeseburgers. I'm a full-blooded 'Merican. Have you ever felt replaced? OH, HAVE I! Have you ever worn false eyelashes? No. Do you ever regret making a friend? I don't think so. Can you cure mental illness? I don't know about cure, but you can certainly learn how to handle it better and alleviate symptoms. Is God good? Define "God." Cats or dogs? Kitties. Do you play video games? Yeah, but I don't play nearly the variety that I used to. Do you take medication for mental health? Yes. Can you really be racist to a white person? No shit? Do you have a favorite hair accessory? What does it look like? No. What’s your favorite type of insect? Butterflies. What’s your LEAST favorite type of insect? Larvae, like maggots. Disgusting. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? What did you say? What’s his/her favorite food? Idk and I don't feel like checking. I rarely use it. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White is a mood with my mad-at-God-24/7 ass. It needs to stop honestly. I've become so hateful about religion. Not towards followers, mind you, just the concept itself. I could write a novel on this, but I don't feel like it. Just me and organized religion don't get along anymore. Have you ever slept in a water bed? On a water mattress, yeah. How do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period? Never tried, not for me. Sounds messy. Does your ex have a job? My most recent, I guess you mean? Yeah. Have you ever slept in a car? Yeah, on long drives to like New York and stuff. What was the last term of endearment you used (babe, hun, dear, etc)? *checks phone* "Sweetie." How often do you use Flickr? Never. I can't log into my account anymore since Yahoo said "fuck u Britt," so there's no point. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. Do you have a crush on the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend so y'know like- Have you ever got into an argument with the last person you kissed? We very much disliked each other at first, so... guess, lmao. Have you ever liked somebody who was nice to you, but horrible to everyone else? Eh, that's a mystery... Juan was very sweet to me, but I know he had a bad rep. I didn't really see how he interacted with others. How’s your appetite atm? It's normal. I'm not currently hungry. Out of all the conversations you’ve had recently, which one has made you smile or laugh the most? Sara randomly and excitedly texted me to tell me "Welcome to the Jungle" was on at work, which was on the radio both when I was there and she was here, so she thought of how much she missed me lakdjsfkalwe I smiled my face in half. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? Eh, it wasn't awful. It was for my school ID. What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. My sis went and said it was 1.) insane and 2.) disgusting. If you were five years younger but knew everything at that age that you’ve actually learned over the last five years, what is one thing you would definitely do differently? Go to the partial hospitalization program way sooner. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? To earn a happy, content future. What activity that you have to do every once in a while that you dread the most? "Every once in a while," I'd say clean Mitsu's cage. She is such a strange rat. Enjoys pets, but being picked up is a no sir. When people hear what you do for a living, what is the most typical question or comment they give you regarding your job? N/A If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? I'd probably write a poem. I know I wouldn't draw 'cuz fuck no am I doing so with a pen. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Uhhh. Idk. Anything I can think of, like lightning, I've seen because of the Internet. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? Probably like, young adult fiction/fantasy, something like that. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Lately, take one of my mood stabilizers. I need to get the box out... aaaand forget every day. I haven't felt any different without it tho so like... If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion, maybe. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? I'm not spending time musing over something that serious lakaljdsfawe. Would you ever travel to Africa? Hell yes. I desperately want to go to South Africa on the Tswalu Kalahari tour. Whose house were you last at? Besides my own, my older sister's. Have you ever had a near-death experience? I guess this depends on how near death you mean. I've been in one car accident that my mom managed to make minor only by being a good driver; realistically, we should've flipped, according to the cop. My mom just acted quickly enough. Then I heavily ODed, but I was given more than enough fluids in time to keep me surprisingly okay. I don't know what would've happened if I hadn't told Mom so quickly, and I don't care to think about it. I'm fucking lucky and don't want to think about what could've happened. Have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game? Tbh I myself could've been in this position when my depression was so bad, but then there's factors to that that lean towards it just having been a preference versus addiction. Idk. It's not a problem anymore so not worth debating over. Have you ever been fingered? That was the first cheat when you chose abstinence lmao. What do you do the most when you are online? Watch or listen to something on YouTube. What video game have you played the most? So in WoW you can actually type in /played to see how long you've played JUST that one character up to the years (or maybe days?) down to seconds and. I will never type it in lmao. Ongoing games are v depressing. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? No, those are thankfully gone. What is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? Be helplessly and openly in love with imaginary demons while dating each other lmao (she's a Freeza fanatic). When and why did you last cry? The second day of school because of math class. When was the last time you drank? I think like... back on the 4th of July. Or some days after 'cuz I know Mom and I didn't finish the container in one night. Do you wear jewelry a lot? Just my piercings, really. Save for on my ear lobes because the holes on the left are fucked up, yay. I'm going to wind up just slightly stretching the first holes when I can afford a small kit; actual studs or hoops look stupid. Never wanted gauges until the holes got too stretched by the weight of hoops; now something needs to be there. Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? My sister's (who doesn't even live here...) dog Bentley. I hate him and he doesn't like me. No, that doesn't mean I mistreat a pet. He's just a pain in the goddamn ass. Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? My mom. I don't know what would happen to me or how I'd cope at this time. Honestly, would you rather be single or in a relationship? I'm happier in a healthy relationship. Do any of your friends not get along at all? No. I mean, not that I know of. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? I'd be LOST without YouTube, then KM follows up close. #3, uh... Facebook or Tumblr, I suppose. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? No. Well, I do have a little book of Disney World character autographs, but I don't think that really counts. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? We use Wal-mart. Who is your favorite model? Sara is a gd model don't even @ me about it. What have you done that is out of character for you? The Joel thing is the most anti-Brittany thing I've ever done for sure. I can't think of anything more current that stands out, unless it's- NO WAIT, this was quite a few months ago, but I firmly stood against an opinion my psychiatrist made known. He's very talkative and open as hell about his beliefs in current events, and he said something about pit bulls where I was just like... um no sir. I wasn't going to be rude though to HIM of all people so just said I don't base dogs by their breed and shut up. Awkward silence and we moved on. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? LGBT acceptance and rights. I already protest by having given up Chic-fil-a okay I care y'all. What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? Who knows... What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? Idk. I'm lucky to not have really been told that... What are you most thankful for? Thinking it all over, probably being born where I am. Boy is America FUCKED UP in some places, but boy would I be in a MUCH worse place if I was born in, say, North Korea, between my mental issues, sexuality, and opinions that can go to either end of the spectrum. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? I love them! You can find the coolest, wackiest shit. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy with a passion. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No. What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? I genuinely think I'm a nice person that has other's well-being in mind. What is priceless to you? Love, in any form. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhh. I guess more than anything, I'm proud of my distant cousin for her unwavering love for and loyalty to her daughter when it came to escaping the Middle East and her dictatorial husband. Read Not Without My Daughter, it's great. Do you keep a budget? I don't have an income. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Rested, a good night's sleep following being truly exhausted. Refreshed, oh man, gimme a hot, long shower. Who depends on you the most? Nobody. Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Hell no. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. I was entirely convinced the world would literally end if Jason left. That night still doesn't feel real. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? Colleen and Mom once fought after I'd ignored her, so I guess? It wasn't my wish or anything though for her to do it; Mom had shit to say by her own volition, and I wasn't going to tell my mother "no you can't do that." Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? No? Have you ever ridden on a subway or train and what did you like about it? Nope. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Yes. What embarrasses you instantly? A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!!! It is SO easy to embarrass me, including second-handedly. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? Hell no, I'm most certainly not in the necessary shape, and quite honestly I'm not that willing to risk my life for random people that could be assholes. What do you think should be censored? Idk. I have mixed feelings on censorship, no matter how stupid it seems. Eh... yeah, idk. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Queen Victoria and William Clark. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Depends on who and obviously if we're even compatible. Have you ever fired a gun? No. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Sincerely caring for them, probably. Who is a female role model in your life? My mom, in some ways. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Jfc a lot, I don't want to think about it. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My future, honestly. It's hard picturing my elderly days. Like I'm not suicidal anymore, I just don't really... realize I'll get there, I guess. I can't picture myself being old and alive. Would you travel to space if possible? No, too long of a trip. Are you an optimistic person? I'm a realist. Do you consider yourself more realistic OR idealistic? ^ Have you ever felt bi-curious? I started out accepting myself as bisexual through thinking myself as bicurious. I quickly realized "bisexual" was more accurate than "bicurious," but it was an easier thing to shift acceptance towards in regards to yourself when you thought you were straight for 21 years. Are you a fan of U.S. President Donald Trump? No sir. I agree with some of his ideas, but I hate him as an asshole person without a trace of manners. Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Multiple. I'd assume most people know someone who fits at least one criterion there. Are you green-eyed? Not exactly, but they definitely have a green hue to them. They're a gray/green blue. Would you consider UFC fighting and WWE real sports events? I think it's beyond debate that a lot of it is staged, but I mean, I guess to a degree? You still have to fight. It's physical exertion. Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? No. Wait. I can't remember if my grandmother had cancer or not... but I don't think so. She was just old. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? An office, definitely. In my work-hunting as well as actual work experience, office work is probably the only job I could actually do that doesn't require a degree... Do you have a favorite wild animal? Why? You can't know me and not be fully aware meerkats are my favorite animal. Why? Ho boy. I love social species, and meerkats have such strong personalities, and holy shit are those little things brave as fuck. They're so GOSH DARN CUTE!!!! too, and their loyalty to each other is astounding. I love how playful and curious the little guys are, and... just wow okay, I could write an actual essay on how I adore meerkats so goddamn much. Do you have any unusual, uncommon phobias? I'm sure there are other people afraid of whale sharks, but I don't think it's common? And is an actual phobia of pregnancy uncommon? Idk. Do you prefer Android or iPhone? I hate my Android. I've had an iPhone in the past, and it was great. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? All, depending on my mood. Most often I'd say I like sweet. Do you believe climate change is real? We can't be friends if you don't. Do you believe in evolution OR creationism? Evolution. Do you think people can really predict the future? Nah. Have you been to a lot of shrinks? I hate that word. Just call them therapists. But yeah. How often do you clean your room? Not often enough. I need to dust... Any movies coming out soon that you want to see? I DESPERATELY wanna see the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" one. Those books were my CHILDHOOD. What was the last fear you overcame? I don't know about totally overcame, but vocational rehab helped me quite a bit with answering the phone to numbers I didn't recognize. Have you ever hurt yourself trying to crack a body part? No, nothing on me really cracks. Well no, both my big toes do, but no, I haven't hurt myself trying to crack them. What’s the worst part about winter? The days where it's cold BUT ALSO WINDY asdkljfaklwej;awe Summer? It's too fucking hot and probably humid, too. Spring? POLLEN. Fall? Literally nothing. :') Are you allergic to anything? Pollen and silver. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Like, once. Which country has the most fascinating culture? Oh boy, idk. Who does your favorite song? Idrk what my current favorite song is. I say my all-time fave is "False Flags" by Massive Attack, but it's not something I constantly wanna listen to. I guess you could maybe say it's "Headache" by Motionless In White; I play and repeat that a lot. I've really been digging them lately. When was the last time you wore makeup? Shit dude, idk. Months ago. Do you prefer males or females or both? I'm generally afraid of men, but I mean, I don't "prefer" one over the other if he's a good guy. Where in your town do you go when you wanna chill with a few friends? I don't have any friends I go out with. But there's nowhere to go here anyway. Where’s the best place to get coffee? N/A Have you ever seen someone struggle with an addiction? My dad was an alcoholic, but he's recovered. He loved (idk if he still does it) fantasy football, too. Pretty sure I got my addictive personality from him, lol. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Early 2017. Do you like cranberry juice? omfg NO. Do you play any zombie-killing video games? The Last of Us is fucking dope, but I didn't finish it before my PS3 broke. :'( I like the Resident Evil series too, and some of those games have zombies or similar creatures. And The Walking Dead game tears my heart out every fucking season. What is the dominating genre on your mp3 player/iPod? Varying forms of metal. Do you have a book shelf? No. What website do you spend way too much time on? YouTube is ALWAYS open. I constantly either watch let's players and a few other kinds of YTers, moving windows around so I can see it and do other things, or listen to music. Do you like wind chimes? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!! WINDCHIMES!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a fetish? No. Do you have a pet fish? No. Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful and calming, but not worth it for me personally. They don't have much of a personality at all, and cleaning a tank so much for just a fish isn't for me. Do you like kettle corn? (That sweet and salty popcorn) Yessss! Do you enjoy classic rock? Hell yeah, man. When was the last time you went for a walk, just cause? Not since I was at Sara's last. Do you listen to Type O Negative? No. Do you have any fillings or cavities? Yeah. Have you gotten your wisdom teeth taken out yet? No, and thankfully I don't need to. One was very close to needing to be, but it has just enough room. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? "Depending on what I’m signing up for, I’m likely to at least skim it." <<< This. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? I had a party every year up to... idk what age. And no, I only invited friends. Do you like when things are color coordinated? Yes. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? Yeah, and no. Can you juggle? Nope. Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? Who hasn't? How often do you use bobby pins? Never. My hair's really too short for them. Well, I'd probably pin the right side up if I was doing something like cleaning. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Road. What are your school colors? Blue and white. Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah. Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? Actually yeah. Do you like Nerds candy? Yes I do.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Ninety-Seven: With a Shovel ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hanabi, Uchiha Itachi ] [ SasuHina, gore, vulgarity ] [ Verse: When Dead Walk ] [ AO3 Link ]

Shit shit SHIT!

Vaulting over a fence, he lands on his feet, regathering momentum quickly. So much for quiet and unnoticed! How was he supposed to know the place was boobbytrapped?! Bag still slung over his shoulders, it bounces heavily against his back with every thud of his feet against the ground. At least he got a decent haul before all the ruckus. Should keep them fed for a short while.

Behind him, he can hear the rippling-outward cries of the undead. When one notices you, its noise and shift in attention seem to spread like another disease, infecting any others within range and calling them to the same action: to try and feed on whoever’s unlucky enough to get noticed.

And right now, it’s him.

Struggling to keep his breath even, Sasuke’s arms pump as he cuts through old yards, overgrown and filled with weeds. Even the weather is dreary today: overcast and muggy. Just the kind of atmosphere he wants to be running for his life through. Remnants of old lives, probably lost, are scattered throughout: lawn furniture, kids’ toys, empty dog houses, swimming pools filled with sickly green water and bloated dead bodies.

Ah, so that’s where that smell’s coming from.

At least the damn things are slow and unsteady...but he doesn’t want to get caught in a corner. He’s stuck to the outskirts, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t zombies this far out that can cut him off.

But this time, it’s not a deadhead he has to worry about.

Just as he skirts by a house, a figure comes barreling out of the back door, knocking into him and throwing them both to the ground in a heap. Sense scrambled for a moment, Sasuke panics - was that a dead one?! But...no, it was running. He’s never seen one run before, they’re too slow and off-kilter. Then...another survivor? Shit, what if they have a weapon?

“Behind you!”

Rolling to his side, his eyes go wide as his unexpected companion leaps over him, curling slightly as he expects them to hit him. But instead, he hears a dull thud. Flailing to his other side (and trying to wriggle back), he watches as the other human decapitates a walker.

...with a shovel.

Wide-eyed and panting, he watches them catch their breath, then look over their shoulder to him. It...looks like a woman? A little hard to tell, what with the dirty countenance and baggy clothing.

...she’s not gonna use that on him now, is she?

“Get up!” she commands, keeping hold of her tool and offering an arm.

Not about to refuse, Sasuke takes her grip, struggling to his feet with his pack weighing him down. Together, they keep running the way he was headed, crossing a few more yards before reaching the true outside of the suburb.

It’s then they look to each other warily.

“...are you alone?” she asks, glancing back toward the houses.

“...here and now? Yeah,” is his sarcastic reply.

“You know what I mean.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I left my sister stashed. We have a car that runs. We can take you back…” She nods to his back. “...spare some of your loot and we’ll call it even.”

“Don’t I already owe you?”

“Maybe, but I’m not - I’m not about to leave you here. So, is there anyone else?”

Considering her carefully, the ruckus of the undead drawing nearer, he admits, “...not here. My brother’s back at our camp.”

“We’ll take you there.”

“So long as you put that shovel down, sure.”

In spite of herself, the woman gives a hint of a smile. “Unless your heart stops beating, I don’t have any intention of hurting you. The living need to stick together, r-right?”

“Yeah...if only more people thought that way. You lead the way.”

In a thicket of bushes and trees a ways from the development, they uncover a vehicle covered with severed branches. Within is a teenager who jumps at the sight of them. “Hinata, who the hell is that?”

“A new friend,” Hinata, as she appears to be called, replies. “He’s fine. We’re going to take him home, and trade some supplies.”

Eyeing her nearly-empty pack, the girl mutters, “Trade? We don’t have anything to trade.”

“That’s what the ride is for, Hanabi.”

Expression guarded, she remains in the rear seat as Sasuke takes the passenger door, Hinata driving. “Where are we headed?”

“North a ways. Abandoned farmhouse. It’s back in some trees, easy to miss.”

Nodding, Hinata revs the engine, backing from their hiding place and heading up the road.

Behind them, the swarm continues to shuffle toward the sound as it fades into the distance.

The subsequent silence is filled by the humming of the motor, Sasuke keeping his eyes flickering between the road and his companions. While he doubts either are much of a threat, he’s not about to let his guard down, either.

“So you were hitting up the same spot, huh?” Hanabi asks, leaning up between the seats.

“Hanabi, please put your seatbelt on,” Hinata offers wearily.

“Why? It’s not like we’re gonna get pulled over.”

“That’s not the most important aspect of wearing a seatbelt.”

The teen rolls her eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

Watching the exchange, Sasuke sees the elder sister wilt a hair.

“That place is the nearest one we’ve found to hit up,” Sasuke offers, deciding to humor her attempt at conversation. “We’ve been here a few weeks now.”

“We?”

“Me and my elder brother.”

“Cool, another sibling duo.”

His lips quirk in amusement. “We lived in the city west of here, headed out this way when things got bad. Been hopping as we need to ever since. Had a car, but it tanked a while before we got here.”

“Hey, we came from the west, too! Anybody else with you guys?”

“No, just us. We’ve run into a few people, but...it never ended well.”

“Yeah, us either…” Hanabi admits. “Least nobody’s tried to kill us, yet. They just all got themselves killed.”

“Hanabi,” Hinata murmurs in scolding.

“What? They did!”

“Please don’t speak ill of the dead.”

“We had one group try to finish us off, but they didn’t have a car. Running from them’s what got it so banged up until it quit running,” Sasuke offers.

“Have you killed anybody still ali-?”

“Hanabi!”

“What? It’s an honest question!”

“...just one,” Sasuke murmurs.

The car goes quiet.

“...some asshole snuck up on us. Was grappling with my brother. Ran him through with a makeshift spear I’d made. All his hollering brought on the dead...we left him there and made a run for it.”

“...oh man…”

“Sometimes you have no choice. It was him or my brother.”

“...guess you’re right. I’d kill anybody that came after my sister!” She whisks out a pocket knife, pointing it at him with pursed lips.

Sasuke just scoffs humorously. “Trust me, I don’t plan on it. She saved my ass.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. With a shovel. It was badass.”

Hanabi looks wide-eyed to her sister, who seems almost bashful.

Spirits a bit lightened, Sasuke points to a dirt road. “Up there, a few miles in.”

By now the sky is darkening, and he considers the time of day. If these two have far to go, they’ll be drawing zombies like moths to a flame with any headlights. Maybe…

As twilight settles in, they pull up to an old two story farmhouse, a silo and barn nearby.

“Whoa, neat place! Are there any animals?”

“Just a few chickens. Come on, we’ll talk inside.”

From the front door emerges Itachi, watching warily. “...Sasuke?”

“They’re friendly,” he replies, waving a hand. “But if this one pulls out a shovel, start running.”

Hinata gives a weary sigh, suppressing a smile as Hanabi laughs.

“...well all right then,” Itachi agrees, a brow perked.

“She saved my life. They’re here to take a few things to call it even. But I think at this rate, they’d better stay ‘til daylight.”

Hinata frowns. “But -?”

“If you try to make it home in the dark, you might crash...and headlamps will make you way too obvious. We’ve got plenty of room, and we can figure out what I owe you after some sleep.”

“Oh c’mon, ‘nata! This house is awesome!” Hanabi begs, tugging her sleeve.

“Where are you holding up?” Itachi asks politely.

“Firefighter station. It’s a bit out of the way, but pretty secure.”

“The beds are super uncomfy,” Hanabi offers, earning a light laugh from Itachi.

“Well, we’ve not qualms with you remaining for a night. As Sasuke says, leaving now will be trouble either way, a risk you don’t need to take. Besides...it’s been quite some time since we’ve had friendly company.”

“Yeah, us too,” Hinata admits. “If you really don’t mind…?”

“Nah, you’re fine,” Sasuke assures her. “We’ll cook something, then call it a night...hash things out in the morning?”

“Sure.”

Supper is mostly canned foods, the four of them huddled in the kitchen around an old hurricane lamp. Hanabi is soon dozing, Hinata escorting her upstairs.

“This room has two beds - we stick downstairs, so you’ve got it all to yourselves.”

“Thank you...and Sasuke?”

At the threshold of the stairs, he turns back.

“...glad I ran into you.”

He snorts. “Yeah. Literally.”

Giving her own smile in return, Hinata bids him goodnight, shutting the door as he retreats back down the flight.

“Are they settled?”

“Seem to be.”

“I think it best we turn in as well. You look tired.”

“Yeah, well...running for your life’ll do that to you.”

.oOo.

...I think this is my first zombies piece? At least for this challenge, haha - I write it on occasion for RP, but this is my first real fic for it. I should do more! And yes, it's Hinata wielding the weapon this time around - cuz our girly needs her chances to be the badass she is! I think Sasuke was impressed ;3 And heck yes to sibling duos and alliances. Anyway, that's it for tonight! A bit early for once, lol - thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #hyūga hanabi #uchiha itachi #gore //#vulgarity //#when dead walk [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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reddeaddenial · 6 years

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A, G, and S for the boiiisssszzz (I'm sorry if its long setdfyguhij)

Nonono dont apologize, i loooove answering long questions like this! It really makes me think about my ocs and helps develop them more!

ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

A: Aptitude1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Nick has always had very quick reflexes. They most likely developed while he was pushing himself to get stronger when he was recovering from his childhood illness. Or maybe they were there all along and he finally had a healthy body to show for it. This of course carried over into him quickly being able to point and shoot, engage quickly with enemies. He’s got terrific aim, but that’s something he’s practiced with over the years.

Leo is just… Leo. He understands and learns very quickly even from a young age. He learned to read very well early in life and impressed his tutors with his quick knowledge of math. He just retains everything like a sponge. Buuut he comes off simple because of his lack of understanding of social interactions. But i think the most natural ability he has is his way of thinking strategically. He’s been beating his brothers at chess for yeaaars lol And he’s been a massive help to his old gang leader when helping plan out robberies.

Theo is a natural charmer. he’s been able to tell since he could talk who and what he can get away with by reading the situation in a room. That only got better the older he got. He became the trio’s negotiator for most things. Hell surprisingly he’s the one that knows more than one language!

2. what activities have they participated in?

I’m not really sure what this is defining as activities. So I’ll just go with the RDR2 theme of it. Target contests for sure wit Nick, I bet he’s one quite a bit of cash at those. Leo has gone and done several horse races and hasn’t done too bad there. Theo on multiple occasions has gotten an entire saloon shitfaced and basically they become big parties and everyone having a great time and Theo is gettin’ the juiciest gossip about new places and stores to rob. >:3

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

Nick it’s his aim. Before the outlaw life, they were all pretty sheltered and weren’t around lots of guns and such, so while he had the natural reflexes of a gunslinger, he hadn’t the aim. that was built up over lots of hard work and determination to protect his brother. He became pretty adept at it roughly 3 years in. He had to be, for them to survive. He also had to work to learn to cook for him and his brothers. Living on the road, they didn’t know much about food. It was a lot of trial and error, lots of food poisoning lol But now hes the best cook among the three, which isnt saying too much, but he at least knows how to season venison lol.

Leo had definitely had to work with his ability to shoot a gun, or use weapons in general. He learned the gun out of necessity thanks to Nick’s coaxing, but he’s surprisingly more comfortable throwing axes than using guns lol. He’s just just honestly the most uneasy around guns because of the business they had with their dad and the trio shooting him, even if it was on accident.

Theo had to work a lot with his knife throwing and just knives in general. He’;s got a lot of visible scars littered about his hands from a lot of failed attempts from some bullshit or another. But he’s gun a lot of dumb luck, like he’d throw a knife at an enemy and the handle hits the man instead of the blade. BUT he hit it so hard and in the back of the head, the guy goes unconscious instead lol

4. what things are they bad at?

Lol Oh man, so much. Like mentioned before, the other two boys cant cook for shit. They gotta live off of canned food or leftovers if Nick’s not around. Nick can’t patch up his own clothes, he sucks at sewing, just gets confused at what he’s looking at, one time he sewed the sleeve of his shirt completely shut, that had Theo and Leo in hysterics at his own expense. Leo as we know isn’t good with communicating well with others. He either comes off stupid or arrogant to strangers, neither is a good scenario. Theo in particular, sucks at stakeouts, or just waiting around doing nothing, he gets very fidgety and wants to talk. So he’s been forced to find ways to entertain himself with like a book or playing cats cradle

5. what is their most impressive talent?

For Nick it’s definitely his gunslinging. He’s quite proud of how well he can shoot.

For Theo, probably his medical work. He’s very quick and knows where to cute, and get you nice and buzzed on booze so it’s not too bad. He’s gone as so quickly to remove a bullet, sanitize, stitch and wrap a wound in less than ten minutes, he’s got it down to an art, it’s like removing a splinter to him lol

Leo it would be his brilliant plans. Like he may be quiet, but he is the most sly and creative of the group. I won’t go in too much detail cuz I have some great ideas he’s gonna implement in future chapters. But his brain is gonna have people go ‘well shit why havent we thought of that sooner?’ >:3c

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

The twins like to tease that it’s Nick’s babyface and blonde hair. He just scowls and yanks them down into a headlock lmao. But honestly all the boys got those pretty ‘Teale Green’ eyes, that draw people in.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

Theo’s is his humor and empathy with others. Leo’s is… well I guess some people would be into the quiet listener type? Nick well… honestly he’s a bit prickly but he has some good morals underneath all that. I think the best part of his personality is standing up and protecting others I suppose. :p

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

Oh boy well basically you get the infinite protection of these three. They’re loyal to a fault and will back you up in any situation. When they bond to people, it’s family. And you treat family right. Of course with that, you gotta put up with Theo’s shenanigans, Leo desperately wanting someone else to thrash at chess, and Nick’s paranoid grumpy ass. But they’re good boys who treat their friends right. ;w;

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

Theo hates that he cares too much about what people think, he can be easily antagonized sometimes because of it. He also has his moments where he just gets into this depressive spiral about how they’ve turned into murderers and thieves and his brothers gotta shake him outa it. He does like how tall he is though, it impresses the ladies and works for a good intimidation tactic :p Leo sometimes hates how identical he and Theo are, because people mistake him for Theo and get weird about how different and quiet he acts, he gets very self conscious about it some days, but hes usually ok. But in the same thought process, its something that he also likes about himself that he and Theo are identical. Idk its a bit of a crisis for him lol

Nick has some Arthur Moods™ when it comes to himself. He looks younger and smaller compared to his brothers some days, he hates the scar on his nose, reminds him of his dear ol dad who put it there, gets kinda self conscious about it too. One thing he suppose he likes about himself is his hair. Little secret, but he keeps good care of that shit, keep it nice and soft, will sometimes tie it back too. The twins tease him on occasion but not too much, else he’ll hide it all under a hat lol

5. what parts of others do they envy?

Nick of course envies his brother’s heights a lot, envies anyone who’s taller than him really. He also just envies people who can just be so carefree even in the darkest of time. He just hyperfixates on the worst a lot.

Theo envies Nick’s ability to shoot and hunt. They’re useful skills to have as an outlaw that he just hasn’t mastered too well. But at least he’s got his knives! :) Leo envies anyone who can just speak their mind to others so easily. How can they condense all their thoughts into just a few sentences? How do they flawlessly move through unspoken social etiquette? It’s a mystery Leo wishes one day he too will understand.

S: Streets1. are they street-smart?

They definitely weren’t at first! Sheltered boys practically caged up on their father’s property, only learning about the real world after they shot the man? Yeah they had a lot of learning to do and they learned through a lot of mistake son their part. But ten years have come and gone and they’re definitely a lot more street smart now.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Probably, they know how that life is like. That first year on their own was very rough on them and they sympathize with the normal poor citizens having more morals than themselves to not go robbing people like they did.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Oh definitely! Sometime Theo’s placating nature just riles up people more and shit happens. But he’s got his brothers to back him up. Also on that note, someone trying to mess with Nick and Nick being the unsociable cactus that he is, makes things worse. Next thing you know, someone pulls out a knife and Nick’s curb stomping the guy who called him girly. Y’know, shit happens. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Lmao see above.

5. are they cautious when out?

They’re always cautious thanks to Nick’s incessant lectures about watching their backs and always being aware of the law.

#this was so fun omg #cometoceantrenches #ask #teale brothers #teale lore

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thefallenarbiter · 6 years

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READ ME!!!!!

>>>>>>> NOTE!!! DRAWING WITH EVERYONE's CHARACTER WHO WAS NOTIFIED TO THIS POST IS TOWARDS THE MIDDLE!!<<<<<<<<

SPEED PAINTS/ PROCESS OF ART

---------HERE 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_ZxtQ6RhA4 HERE ---------

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vys4D71bgAw&feature=youtu.be

3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=592zJhAAFok

STORY WITH DRAWING DOWN HERE

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Midnight Trick and Treat

“This is the perfect chance to take all those snacks,” Olive said with such glee that I had to glance over to make sure they didn't hear her. Evia hushed her before she could let out another booming cry of desire. Olives ears quickly perked down, a pout was on her face from being hushed. I watched as Evia rolled her eyes but gave a quick lick to her ears. The fur on Olive's cheeks somehow turned a rosy red from blushing. But her ears perked back up, a wolfy grin was on her face again.

I held in a groan. This was was not a good plan. We were hidden between the grass, its long blades kept both me and Olive hidden but Evias horns poked through when she shifted her weight. Looking back at the ground I watched as they chatted between one another. I noticed a pattern as one would move their mouths and the others would laugh not long after. Olive followed my gaze but her eyes were stuck on the unguarded bags of treats.

A devilish grin formed on Olives face, ”We gotta get those treats. Ill split all the bags with you two.” she said.

“I dunno Olive, It doesn't sound like a very good-” I stopped when I looked back over at Olive. A grin was placed on her mouth while her eyes tarted between me and the treats. I nearly shivered when I looked at Evia. Half her face was hidden behind Olives but I could see her eyes narrowed dangerously at me with a scowl. When our eyes met she started to mouth something to me. I stared at her mouth, what is she trying to say to me-..Oh. Her claws began to tap the ground impatiently.

I laughed softly, ”Oh god Olive, I knew leaving all the ideas to you was just a fantastic idea! Nothing will go wrong!” I said with the biggest, fakest smile I could muster. You couldn't blame me for lying. You really couldn't when you were stuck between pleasing a giant warrior and a tiny dog who could make you regret anything if you upset her.

“S-so what's our plan?” I asked, the tapping stopped. I held back a sigh of relief at least one of them is pleased with my answer.

“Oh it's pretty simple, we're gonna sneak up right up to them and they won't even notice a thing! It's gonna be great!”

Oh my god, we're going to die. Were so dead. Dead,dead,dead. She's going to get us killed! I laughed nervously. Maybe I can eat a few candies before they catch us. Yeah, that sounds less bad than dying on an empty stomach I thought. The panic I was feeling felt less bad when I thought of this.

“Well, we better get this over and done with! I'm just DYING to get all that candy.”

Olive must have agreed with me because her face lit up but quickly disappeared in the mass of grass as she crawled away.

Evia smirked at me, ”If all hell breaks loose and I have to choose one of you, I'm choosing Olive.” her smirk widened when my eyes grew in size with my mouth agape. She quickly slithered after Olive. I stayed where I was for a moment before following suit. The grassed softly brushed my sides as I crawled through slowly. When I lost sight of Evia I peeked my head out to see a large white wolf sitting on a bench. I tilted my head as a bag of candy was right under them. They were distracted by the messages on their phone. I peered at the candy and nearly sighed in relief. The wire was under their leg to keep it from falling which meant one less person after us during the run.

I quickly hid back into the safety of the grass and proceeded to follow the scent of both Evia and Olive. My ears tilted towards the left at the sound of rushing water. I suddenly felt thirsty but pushed on. I spent a few seconds crawling before stopping. Evia was facing me and when she saw me she pushed me past her. When I was right next to Olive she stopped, I glanced around than stared at Olive puzzled.

Her eyes moved to the area ahead of us, I followed her gaze than wished I had made them both upset. The group was right in front of us, each one chatting away as their bags laid helplessly on the bench closest to them. I looked back at Olive who looked at me expectantly. I quickly looked away so she wouldn't see my panicked expression.

I slowly began to crawl forward and paused when one of them shifted more than 60 degrees. When I made it to the bench safely, I observed the bags, each had different animals which held the candies inside. I slowly moved my head forward, grabbing of the largest bag which Evia helped me put down. Once it was released she had a firm hold on the end. I then grabbed ahold of two sets of strings, I pulled softly until the bags were softly nestled on the ground. Olive reached forward, bit onto the wires and held them in her mouth like Evia.

I glanced at the last bag, it's pumpkin eyes staring intently at me. I gulped nervously. I

slowly took a step forward with my head outward to bite the string. With a snap, the twig underneath my claws broke in half. Any conversation that the group had halted, they all turned towards me all at once to see the source of the noise.

I smiled nervously, ”Hello! My name is Sona. It's nice to meet all of you-” I paused when Olive and Evia made a run for it. The group let out shocked cries looking between me and the runaways. I bit into the wire and made a dash for it. The sounds of feet stomping and yelling were right behind me. This is all Olives fault.

Birthday gift for @Spoopy-snek

Don't kill me pls

So For your bday, I decided to draw a group picture that involves your friends. Side note I'm sorry if I forgot anyone. I tried finding everyone and drawing them but again I'm sorry if I forgot anyone.;n; But If I did miss any close friend go ahead and comment saying that you were forgotten so when I do something big like this again I can add all her friends.

Happy Birthday old lady!!!! I hope you have a fantastic bday and get to celebrate it, friends and family. DONT DO DRUGS. Drugs are restricted on your bday and I will steal all dem drugs for myself >: ) BUt ANyway… Happy birthday to my closest buddy! <33333 You mean so much to me and always got to use your bday as a way to spoil you with love and art cuz you deserve it!!! Even tho you're a major butthead but two can play with fire!!! I really hope you have a fantastic day!! you so much. I'm so thankful to have met you and I can't believe we've been friends for 6 years???!!! Wow, time really flies I can't believe we're so old now. You meet me when I was basically a smol gorl. Like much wow were both getting so freaking old. (as my lollipop decides that falling is a better idea than living,,,) But again I'm so freaking thankful we're friends, you've been there for me for so long and I can't thank you enough for sticking with my ugly butt. You helped me through much whether it be mentally or with anything. You've been there for me and when I get money I'm gonna try to repay you for everything that you've helped me through with gifts. You're my closest friend Olivia and without you, I would be in a different place. I doubt I would be the same if it weren't for you. You always had my back no matter once. Every time I lost someone close to me whether it be family or relationship wise you've helped me stay strong and keep going. Honestly ilu so much you big softy and I'm so sorry we don't hang out enough. I really want to return the favor and help you in any way I can because you're my best friend Olivia. Were both total nerds and goofballs who love videos games way to much and basically kill our characters lmao. I can't wait to spend the rest of our life as besties. We need to seriously meet in person tho. We have been friends for so long but I only ever see you through your photos. We have to meet eventually because your my best friend and we've been through thick and thin together. If we don't meet I'm sending the squirrel after you!!!! I'm so glad we have each other even if we lost all our other friends through time even tho I miss them, I can't wait to spend our time together through hell and heaven. We're gonna kick life's butt and get through everything together. Hopefully, we both can hang out more often because we're both busy bees and never get the chance ;n; I still can't believe we both happened to join DA around the same time and managed to start talking right after. If it weren't for you I would have been dead on that website a year after I joined. Anyway, ilu and I wish you the biggest Happy Birthday you spoopy butt. I would attempt to give you the biggest hug I can muster but my arms are too short :,,,D

Explanation of each drawing

Golden Skull Zayn with Olive ----- When I did the three doodles in the speedpaint I was planning a creepy vibe with each one. So for this one I wanted to show off the fact that parts of Zayn are indeed made of gold. It was meant to go with his design just to fit the color combo but I decided that any character that has future sight have gold parts to them. It would be very rare for a kaian to have all gold bones but I figured it would fit the prophet when they start to loose their mind to the visions. There's always a price to pay when you can see into the future. Poor Olive just happened to be around when he ripped the skin off during one of his major visions. But don't worry she lives and he gets his face back.

Sona and Loch ------- I wanted to have Sona soothing one of Lochs sessions of pain. Not much to say here other than I wanted to have her kind of grumpy looking and comfort him since in our story for them she kinda uses him for bad to get what she wants so she gets a body.

Olive's Secret Protector ---------- Again not much to say other than Evia is using her dark powers to blend into the shadows to keep an eye on olive.

Run Run from the Scary Mob ------ The main drawing that I spent the most time on that comes with a speedpaint. For this one I wanted to show off our main characters plus a side character that she loves. When I made this I realized I wanted to make it big just for Olivia so I decided to include all her friends that I could think of or find. Each character is dressed in something to show off the fact that each one is trick and treating for Halloween. I'm pretty proud of how everyone turned out and how most the background turned out.

Experiment Brewing ------ A little sketch where I had an idea that maybe Olive wasn't a real Kaian and was actually a experiment made by the banished shadow go. I like the idea that maybe he made her so he could put himself into a form onto the home planet of the Kaians than seek the other gods out for revenge. This was before he used Evia as a host even if she's in control. He hoped that when Olive was ready he could take her body over. Sadly the scientist who made her on the home planet did not complete the project and Olive had gone missing when the lab was destroyed. Funny thing is that not long after Olive was found by Evia when in a field of flowers. The god believes Olive is dead but I like to think that he takes over Olive during the final battle to use her to summon him when the other banished god is summoned by Calla. If he did succeed in taking her body over than she would look like her portals. I like the idea of the gods portals and powers looking like this but his are purple. The crystals on her help power the portals and powers she uses which are basically just like the gods expect weaker since she couldn't handle all his power in her body.

Selfie ----- A head doodle to show off Olives looks frontview. First concept sketch of how she would look. Also based on one of Olivia's doodles of Olive with crystals imbedded in her body. I decided to expand on that.

Design ---- A design for Olivia to repay the design she made for me >:0

Thirsty as heckles ---- Olive ready for some Evia but decided on the way to bed that she also likes Zayn a lot. Evia stops what they planned to go find Zayn.

Official Design for Olive as a experiment ---------. I wanted to show off the fact that she would be constantly dripping from the gods powers that she barely holds in her body.

This is War ------- Zayn has a vision in a different timeline where Olive chooses Evia over him and betrays him by killing him. He mistakes it for it being in this timeline and plans to repay the debt by killing them first. Looks like everyone has to fight with the person they love eventually.

Left to right are the corresponding characters belonging to their creators

Big brown and green wolf, Evia dressed as Dracula belongs to me

Tiny yellow doge, Olive wearing snake onesie belongs tp @spoopy-snek

smol purple and blackbird, Sona dressed as a messed up Egyptian belongs to me

spooky dog on a broom, Ney dressed as a witch belongs to @neyzilla

Purple dragon in sleeping wear, Hobbes dressed in a dragon onesie belongs to @hobbledragon

Tall skelelly boi being attacked by hungry doggy, Calabaza dressed as a skelly belongs to @anxietywithaspook

The white dog that shakes, Milk belongs to @milkfake

Mummy that is so done with you, Wilhelm dressed a mummy belongs to @wilhelm-the-undead-man

A woman who wants her candy back, Shaman dressed as a literal Shaman belongs to @missmcgregor

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crowbean · 6 years

Text

LOL. IM BLAMING YEW @sasusakusss for roping me into this (WELL it’s not like you can foresee my uppity dumbass of zero self-control would write a tangent like that. so, it was entirely my fault. but you’re the trigger.)

Respond to this post

http://sunagakurenosato.tumblr.com/post/178178386806/crowbean-sasusakusss-fineillsignup

@sunagakurenosato

Here, lets talk in my post. Because i feel bad enough for the OP for writing a tangent, when their post is about Yamato.

First Diclaimer : I’m not justifying child abuse with war (I know you didn’t accuse me of that. But just to be safe, tumblr is full of bored people who wants a villain)

Second Disclaimer : I just put it there for anyone who’s so frustrated about “HOW SUCH AN EVIL COULD GETAWAY WITH THIS= MUST BE BAD WRITING”. I put out that reference, to show that bad writing could accidentally be a reflection of our world hence a starting point for a story with real questions. I admit, it was my mistake to put it out there without framing what I meant and it could be misunderstood as me justifying something so inhuman.

1. To answer your first paragraph (and possibily the last parts??) :

I mean you did wrote “They were secretly given immunity. Secretly. Because it wasn’t right. Because the United States of America wanted to keep that information to themselves and prevent other countries (Soviet Union) from accessing this information.” So are you saying the “means” : that is letting someone who commit such atrocities go scot free. Is justified by the “end” : getting useful information?(which by the way, you really have no basis to say if the US, at that time, just took that information to safeguard it and not to use it to hurt more people for the sake of “fighting the reds”) *i digress, but this kinda show my point how it raises quite a question*

I put that part of reality there because it’s one of those things that makes you think if “justice” is only there out of the convenience for the powerful? I know it’s stupid of me to think about that kind question for a kids show. But I felt like audience grew up. We all grew up to realize 90% of what Naruto preached is a lie although with a golden heart. And I just want that ideal to be dissected and upgraded. Even though i currently don’t know how, but that’s why I put that reference there. So maybe a smarter, better writer out there could look at that part of reality and churn out some light of “how do we retain ourselves in such a world?” through this fiction that has a parallel scenario of that reference, which is orochimaru’s freedom.

+ I’m sorry that im not making it clear that I see the War crime immunity as a VERY VERY wrong thing. That threw me into an existential crisis when I watched the documentary, I felt hungered to concoct a “light” through the bad show that has been imprinted into my childhood.

2. About gaara and sunagakure :

My memory is hazy about gaara vs the two goons, but all I remember is he dramatically fight on air when every suna ninja is watching in awe, drooling, doing nothing, because their president is flying, only to fucking try to help gaara when he already fainted, with canons. Creating a useless dramatic firework scene as he was kidnapped.

Okay, fine. You favour the “Why” than the execution, fair enough. The scene’s stupid but it does “redempt” gaara in a way. I get it.

And also the talk no jutsu part… like I said, the message has its heart on the right place. But you have to admit that’s weak writing, especially in these times when we are surrounded by so many depressed people, who do lesser things than “gaara”, that cannot be “talked out” from their illness. But it does could be interpreted as “people who’s mentally ill needs friendship” and okay fine, i could stretch that.

I did wrote “Debatably shit since then” because that part that i deem “weak writing” is one of the part where Kishimoto’s writing is starting to wobble. a telling sign it could go worse in the end. which it did.

3. About Yamato :

Now.. the ending is the Tumble after that long long wobble Kishimoto has had since the end of part one. Well I don’t know what you can get out of that, maybe I could stretch it like into “people change->orochimaru dun wrong things to help people this time UWU”. + “yamato’s sense of duty”+other bullshit? It’s not the first time audience have stretch kishi’s weak writing into something meaningful. I’m not here to debate if you can or can’t justify that. but we know there’s a slew of people out there that would go to hell and back to justify why Orochimaru deserves redemption (Which, I don’t think he deserves, because.. in my standards, even Gaara redemption should be death, a 13 year old that considers murder as self-expression is just long gone (but no, he’s too hot for death, -popularity polls disapprove))

Look..I’m just tired of how people would go to such lengths to justify some characters, when the some other character they despise could also be justified if subjected into the same mental gymnastics.

I’m just tired of people still ranting about the ending when people with any senses all agreed that Kishimoto dun goofed. He goofed because the inhuman standards Shonen Jump put upon their mangakas, he goofed after drawing/writing/composing/world-building to produce every single week, he goofed after giving half of his life to the manga only to have time for a honeymoon after the series ended, he Goofed and the fandom just kept throwing salt into that wound.

I just put that reference there, in the hopes that people could just stop complaining about a HUMAN ERROR on Kishimoto’s part (a human error that SP danced with) and either just fucking Ignore it (in favour of better kids show out there) or just turn it into a story one would want to ponder (which I was, in a way, trying to do and share one of the reference I used)

“But there is no examination of things in that scenario, as far as I know (which could be wrong cuz I haven’t been updated), which I believe is important in effective story telling. The why is important. The story can be about wholly problematic things– but if the point it’s getting to is good, reasonable, logical, believable, the audience can be okay with that.”

I’m sorry, I don’t really understand this paragraph?? But I hope I already answered you on my point one

ALso im sorry if i misunderstood what you are saying. I’m sorry if i was digressing too much?? I felt what i wrote is relevant currently, but i often got it wrong :,). im also sorry if im being redundant. I double checked my writing, but there’s a possibility that i wrote something wrong.

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ileolai · 7 years

Text

I’m a bit nervous about posting this, because it’s a big nerdy splurge about Doctor Who, and why it is so very important to me, and there is quite personal stuff in it that I have never posted publicly, but. It’s a little over a day out from the finale, and I can’t not talk about something that totally consumed me for seven years.

When I say personal stuff, I mean stuff like suicidal ideation and mental illness, so there’s a content warning.

I wish Steven Moffat, and everyone else who has poured their lovely hearts into making this show, could know what it has done for me.

I've found it somewhat difficult to pinpoint what my favourite episode of Moffat era Who should be. It puzzled me for quite a while. Not because there are no tremendously stellar episodes that stand above all the rest -- there are quite a few of those to pick over. In terms of actual writing skill, narrative cohesion, magnificent direction and all that pretentious stuff, it would have to be Heaven Sent. I could watch that episode over and over again until the heat death of the Universe.

But I think my actual favourite episode, the one nearest and dearest to my little anarchist care bear heart, has to be The Beast Below. The one with the whale that was technically more up in space than it was below. I realize fandom consensus does not consider it the pinnacle of Moffat’s storytelling, but I don’t care. The ideas in that episode, and it is so full of lovely ideas, are what made me sit up and start paying attention to the potential this show had.

Specifically, what got me was what it said about child abuse and neglect as an essential cog in the machine of fascism, or something. Which I had never, in my whole entire life, seen so earnestly articulated on TV before-- in a children’s television show-- with a goddamn whale. I can pinpoint that as the exact moment this show snatched me and hurled me, screaming, into fandom.

[Later, A Christmas Carol would draw big red underlines and exclamation points all around these ideas... that's my other favourite episode. But The Beast Below did it first and hooked me.]

There’s more to it besides that, though. This is the deeply personal emotional context stuff.

So, here is something you may or may not know about the nerd creature that is me. I was quite homeless at the time The Beast Below aired. And I had nothing -- literally nothing, you see. I was in a totally unfamiliar city in a fairly unfamiliar country, post-psychotic break, post-marriage-engagement breakdown, and I was more alone than I'd ever been -- and I'd been your standard lonely friendless geek my whole life, being Autistic, and what have you. I had just escaped an incredibly abusive, toxic group of people upon realization they were not so much a group of friends, but a cult. Yes, an actual cult! I was in one of those. I was also very, very ill with an immune disorder. And the only member of my family who ever accepted me, the only one actually still talking to me after I gave my narcissistic rage monster mother the finger, had just died of cancer. This had all occurred across the space of, oh... one year? Almost entirely within 2009, leading into 2010. I was a wreck. And if you piled all this nonsense on a fictional character all at once, I'd probably say you were being gratuitous and change the channel. I was too miserable to even know how miserable I was-- just sort of wandering around in a dissociated haze, surviving entirely by the instincts of my autonomic nervous system. A good friend of mine described it to me later as ''you were sort of frozen'', and she was right. So. I downloaded the space whale episode over a wi-fi connection, illegally, on an ancient computer, in a library [haha how appropriate is that?] because I quite liked all the other Doctor Whos I had seen before, and this new writer fella had done Press Gang, a fond highlight of my otherwise wretched childhood.

I watched Amy Pond and the Doctor cavorting around dystopian space Britain, having casual conversations about the nature of fascism, in a show marketed to 10 year olds. My sad little eyes pressed right up to the computer screen, irradiating my retinas, and I whispered: ''I've waited 20 years for My Show, and someone finally wrote it. It even has a mad ginger immigrant in it, and she's me. The Universe made this just for me.''

It also had a whale, and the whale was in space.

And that is how I was propelled into my seven year character arc, my precious nerds. Because this show, from series 5 onwards, has done more for me than anything else on the planet. And I don't care how ridiculous it sounds to attribute my self-actualization to a goofy TV show about loveable alien miscreants saving space whales, because it's true. It took a while, but I learned what I actually value and what actually properly matters to me through this show. Or rather, I re-learned it, because I'd become so lost chasing approval and moulding myself to other people's perceptions to withstand their abuse, I didn't know what I was anymore.

This show, and this goddamn fandom, helped me pull all the chopped up little bits of me back together more than any therapy or self-help nonsense I had tried. I went back to university and got serious about doing actual work, in part, because ''we're all just stories in the end... make it a good one.'' kept looping in my brain. It made me determined that my life could never be summed up with a single sentence like: ''He was sad and boring, and he wasted away in his apartment -- achieving nothing, leaving no trace''.

[I still don’t get out much, to be honest. But I’m trying. At the very least, my epic marathon through 500 wildly divergent university degrees says something, yes? Maybe I can set the official record for ‘’the world’s most reluctant to graduate student’’.]

Anyway. This show, this fandom... gave me so much. It gave me my voice as a creator of things, as a writer, and an analyzer, and it gave me people like me, real and fictional, people I didn’t even know existed anywhere.

And you know…. this is heavy stuff again-- but it honestly gave me the motivation to get through to another weekend sometimes, when I was apathetic enough and in enough physical pain to contemplate not doing that. It really did. I didn't want to miss an episode of Doctor bloody Who, arthritis and schizophrenia and poverty be damned, and that kept me here. There were points, where one of the few things that restrained me from taking a decisive dose of Oxycontin, was River Song's storyline. I'm serious. And as shameful as that probably is, it's still better than being dead, and not getting to watch Doctor Who anymore.

Cuz Doctor Who had a whale in it, right? A great big pink whale filled with benevolent intentions, and it was in space, and everybody hugged at the end, on top of the whale, after overthrowing the government! Moffat Who came out of the gate telling ten year olds ‘’OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT’’! I needed that with all my aching nerd heart. The Universe made it for me.

And then they put queer characters in it, and mentally ill characters, and abuse survivors, like me, and it valued them, and it valued children. And then there was River Song, and hugs, and self acceptance, and found families, and sparkles all around, and Bill Potts. And a big Jungian tapestry of meta and mythology. Just for me. There was nothing else on TV like it.

So now here we are, the eve of the final episode of series 10, which I have slobbered and fawned over almost as much as series 5, the one that grabbed me. And... I’m kind of terrified, to be honest. Because all the connections I made here, are so tied up in this show, and talking about this show, and picking apart this specific era of the show... I’m afraid I won't have anything to talk about anymore? and I'll drift apart from my friends, and…. never have something quite like this lovely little hive of internet debauchery and meta and space whales ever again.

That actually scares me so much. Some of you have been here nearly a whole seven years, longer than almost anyone else in my life, apart from my husband, and I am grateful the vast and mysterious machinations of the Universe dumped us all together in the seething hell-pit of fandom. Those of you who have not yet run screaming into the night from my 957 daily posts about Doctor Who... you don't know how much you have helped me, and brighten my day, just by existing.

Yes, even Proton, who is old, and frequently incorrect, and a cyborg. And Elisi, who speaks utter nonsense that confuses my head. Really. I know my primary method of interacting with people is emphatically, and tactlessly, listing every single way they are wrong about things, but I do occassionally have actual emotions like ‘’appreciation’’.

Do not worry, though. This audaciously out-of-character display of sincerity will now be deleted from your memory.

Gone? Good.

So it's been seven wonderful transformative years for me, and the Doctor Who they made just for lil gay anarchist crazy pants care-bear me is ending forever soon. I mean... there will always be Doctor Who, and it will always be Doctor Who, of course. It will be there at the heat death of the Universe, while I’m still salivating over the utter perfection of Heaven Sent. And a sentient gas cloud in a jar will be running it, or something-- because the show has gained its own level of quasi-sentience, furiously transcended all sensible laws of television, and refuses to die.

But the Moffat era came into my life right when I needed it, and it changed me, and I can’t imagine any other era can be that personal to me. It won’t be my Doctor Who anymore.

Steven Moffat doesn’t know I exist, and yet, has tormented my televisual experiences since I could barely even comprehend television. I have him to thank for two glorious book-ends to my childhood and adolescence: Press Gang, and Doctor Who. Thank you so much, Moffat, you scheming Scottish bastard. Thank you for everything.

I don’t think I would be the sort of person I am now without this damn show, it’s fandom, and its unapologetic, space whale flavoured idealism. I honestly just wouldn’t be.

#doctor who #steven moffat #moffat appreciation #mental illness

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years

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Ali & Carly

Ali: Carls, what's good? Carly: me Ali: ooh, ok, love a bit of self-love Ali: ✝ or 😍 or 💊 or other good [please state] Carly: 🍆 Ali: 👌 noiceee Ali: anyone i know? Ali: nosy bitch i know but i'm living vicariously these days 😉 Carly: yea Carly: i cant tell tales outta school Ali: ugh Ali: boo! 😂 Ali: I'll have to stick to being excited Ro and Drew are back on... Carly: you can try Ali: 🔪💚 Ali: killing me Ali: need some good news gurl, if you can't tell me about your dickscapades then tell me something else for my posi vibes Ali: yeah? Ali: got a ☮ rep to maintain Carly: theres pills for that Carly: ill share Ali: aw, she really cares! 😘 Ali: i'm still attached to rio by the tit so can't Ali: bummer 😋 Carly: 🍼 her Carly: she old enough? Ali: breast is best baby and mine are spectacular Ali: depends on the kiddo, and whether you can or can't, if you can you usually do it to a year max tho, that's my goal so got a while yet Carly: dont rub it in 🔪 Carly: killing me now Ali: bitch please Ali: you're 😍 Ali: and clearly someone is loving it Carly: if youre trying something im tired Carly: wait Ali: i know you straight as hell, despite the bait honey 😂 you're good Ali: ? Carly: dont tell him that Carly: rep of my own Ali: how can I tell him? Ali: don't know who it is, do I? Carly: yea you do Ali: right Ali: what to do Ali: quandary man Carly: nothing Ali: I fear you're right Ali: not your fault, he won't listen and neither will she so Ali: but I should, yeah? what would you do Carls Carly: he listens to me thats far as i go Carly: keep out Carly: nobodys gonna thank you for sticking in Ali: and I'm not going to convince you arguing Ro's case, am I? Because- Ali: Yeah, I figured as much Carly: why Carly: she can talk to me herself if shes got something to say Carly: not your job Ali: she's not going to do that Ali: that isn't her, on so many levels Ali: its sister shit Ali: I'm supposed to at least try but its hard when I know they're wrong and that fighting it would be a losing battle Carly: i can not text him first Carly: but he'll text me Carly: not missing out i was here first Ali: I know Ali: Fun times, man Ali: can I ask you something? Carly: it is for me Carly: sorry for her but we have something Carly: yea Ali: that's what i wanted to ask Ali: kinda Ali: is it just the fucking and drug connecs? and there's no judgement there, that's enough if it is Ali: just curious honestly Carly: idk idc Carly: its good Carly: thats a shit word for it Ali: i get it Ali: it makes more sense than with Ro Ali: sorry, don't repeat that Ali: but I'm trying to work out the attraction Ali: collecting info like the nerd i am Carly: does he like her Carly: or just the chase cuz she dont put out Ali: I wish I knew Ali: There has to be something in it for him, doesn't there? Or, what the fuck is he doing Carly: id lie that its about me if thatd help Carly: but we arent that Ali: Nah? Ali: Maybe he don't fucking know either Ali: I'd ask but I'm not getting a straight answer so meh Carly: he doesnt use my name Carly: does he remember hers Ali: Like you said, she doesn't talk about that kinda thing, but I hope so Ali: I don't think Ro would deal if he didn't but what do I know Ali: you're cool with it? Carly: the answers there Carly: he must like her Carly: scared to wife her Carly: i dont have his tattooed on me either Ali: funny way of showing it Ali: fucking hell, more drama than my own 😂 Ali: good, i'm glad you're happy with it forreals, one less to worry about Carly: i miss him Carly: thats not for you to nerd over Ali: but he doesn't stop Ali: that's what drives me wild, he gets his cake and eats it too when he's with Ro too Ali: but preaching to the choir or whatever the fuck here Ali: sorry, wish I could tell Ro this, that's all Carly: hes not getting any cake from her Ali: is that what he's telling you? or just presumption? Carly: we dont talk about her Ali: okay well at least he's not bullshitting here Ali: 'cos nah girl Carly: not good shit k Carly: thats why he wants me so bad Ali: that's what i mean, so if he loves her and wants you, that'd be chill if Ro was cool with it but she ain't Ali: right Ali: know what I gotta do now at least Carly: but youre not ratting me out to him Carly: dont need that mood Ali: of course not Ali: like i said, you've done nothing wrong Ali: he's not trying to hide anything, i think she knows Ali: so its not gonna come back to you, it can't Carly: k Carly: i need him to come around Carly: whenever Ali: sounds like he will Ali: don't think anyone or thing is stopping him Ali: do you love him? Carly: no Carly: i Carly: we have fun Ali: alright Ali: good Ali: i hope he'll treat you better when all this shit gets sorted Ali: more fun, full time, what could be better? Carly: he's good to me Carly: 🍆 & 💊 Carly: no better Ali: you won't have to miss him Ali: for one Ali: or share Ali: 🍆 at least Ali: you'll have to always get in line for the 💊 Carly: there's always other girls Carly: get in line for him too Carly: sharing can be fun Ali: yeah? fairplay Ali: do you get to bring other boys Ali: or is it just other girls for him Carly: why would i wanna bring other lads in? he's the better fuck Ali: if you insist Ali: plenty of dick in the sea tho Carly: not for you Ali: but i'm wifey-ed Ali: that ain't you, like you said Carly: yea Carly: i know when im onto a good thing tho Ali: you ain't a good thing? Ali: or drew just a fool? 🤔😜 Carly: no im not Carly: ask around Ali: why not? Ali: i don't listen to the town goss, heaven help my self-esteem if I did Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: yeah yeah yeah Ali: I know I'm annoying tf out of you but can't be tamed Carly: me too Ali: 😂 Ali: bitchfight in woodwork? Ali: really rock their worlds Carly: yea Ali: just no tools okay Ali: i don't want permanent disfiguration Carly: only the tat Carly: k Ali: oh, you're conservative on skin art now? 🤔 Ali: got a kid honey, if he chucks me, that's the real glaring awkwardness Carly: shit true Carly: & id go for some ink Ali: let me let me! Ali: i've convinced you that i'm dead sane and aren't going to brand you with a red A, yeah? 🤪😉 Carly: come over and do it Ali: yeah? Ali: lets do this Ali: think what you want Carly: draw what you wanna Ali: 🙌🙏 Ali: have you been sent by god herself?! Carly: or her boy Carly: isnt that who the devil is? her bf Ali: 🤨 Ali: imma give you a theology 101 whilst i'm there too Ali: the real story is lowkey better, trust Carly: idk the porno was good shit Ali: rule 34 baby Ali: i'll draw you that Ali: not on you Ali: unless you're REALLY vibing Carly: whats rule 34 Ali: if it exists, there is porn of it 🤓 Ali: fun game Ali: think of the most outlandish fucked up shit you think no one would think of, search it on pornhub Ali: drink if it exists Carly: ive done that Carly: it is fun Ali: high 🖐 Carly: tomorrow? Carly: bring the kid if its a thing Ali: fosho Ali: playdate! 😜 Ali: might have a gran on duty but cheers if not Carly: k Ali: imma sketch Ali: where do you want this Carly: idc Carly: use the space you wanna Carly: gotta have a 34 in there tho now Ali: absolutely Ali: lucky number Carly: yea Ali: do it in mandarin or something so you can be #deep and #classy Ali: keep 'em guessing gurl Carly: 🔪 im dead Ali: ☠ i'll write a beautiful eulogy on your corpse Carly: aw Ali: i ain't drew but want me to bring any goodies Ali: aside from aformentioned tits Carly: hitting with all the qs you know the answers to Ali: aw honey i'm flattered Ali: #whenshegoesbiforyou Ali: i'll see what i can do 😉 Carly: can't wait

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