#maybe it was the time it was made but genuinely the amount of times dean punches sam in the early seasons

[franklespine]

You know I think you guys might be on to something when you call Sam woman coded cause - genuinely - how do you, as writers of a show, be so misogynistic as to not include any female characters asides from damsels and hookups (specifically referring to the early seasons), and yet need so desperately to have a outlet for macho masculine patriarchy power dynamics that you have an adult male character experience misogyny?? How do you mess up that badly??

It's like, although they thought that putting female characters in the narrative other than to exist as sexy distressed lamps wouldn't appeal to the true blooded 2000s American audience. But yet it was completely necessary for there to be a bottom rung in the masculinity pyramid because - well how else can we as a society function!!

Anyway, ik reading too far into things is my special talent, and in most circumstances all of this stuff is just a joke in the show but wow they really had Dean poking fun of any of Sam's characteristics that don't fit into this Hyper True Blooded American Masculinity ideology as a butt of jokes for 15 years. The fact that he has longer hair, that he cares about his hair, that he's tidy, that he likes salads and isn't a big meat eater, that he's sympathetic, that he's a bitch. And of course these are just silly little jabs that Dean makes in sibling-like fashion but like wow 15 years. Damn.

And of course it's not only this that leads to the rather odd interpretation of a woman-coded Sam, but also the way he is treated directly by the narrative. Like, for example, being the family's possession, rather than an equal member. Dean has seen it as his job to look out for his little brother since he pulled him from the fire and the wellbeing of this infant was thrown onto his shoulders at age 4, and this has created a lot of ricocheting effects on both of them. This isn't to say that Dean doesn't love, care, respect, and value Sam, but it does mean that sometimes he treats him like a possession rather than a person. He makes a lot of crazy decisions in the show that he justifies as being for Sam's own good, even if it goes directly against Sam's wishes. After Sam leaves a note to Dean telling him he's going out for a bit to handle a case, Dean weasels his way in, not trusting him to handle it due to the mental issues Sam is facing at the time, and kills Amy, despite Sam begging him not to. Even though Dean knows Sam would never consent to an angle possessing him, he tricks him into it anyway. He does these things, and many others because he believes that he is acting in Sam's best interests, totally disregarding the fact that Sam has capacity to make judgements and handle the consequences himself, even going so far as to oppose what he directly knows or Sam tells him he wants.

Then of course there is the fact that the fear integral to his character - a loss of autonomy (bodily autonomy, but also autonomy to make his own decisions about his future, to be good, to be pure and faithful), is an explicitly feminine one. Then there is the strong subtext in his story of SA themes, I think in s4 a demon even refers to Sam as a 'whore' or that he's 'whoring it up' (with respect to Ruby), and the interesting prevalent idea of Sam questioning or going against the ideals/ideology of the masculine figure head (which would be Dean I guess) and getting punished for it. Sam suggests that maybe they take a more humanitarian approach with the cow blood drinking vampires in s2 and Dean punches him, Sam tries to get him to talk about their Dad and Dean punches him, Sam tries to get him to talk about Lisa and Ben and Dean punches him, Sam gets caught simply using his abilities and Dean punches him - twice. I think you get the picture.

Anyway. This post comes off as rather critical of Dean, which wasn't really my intention. It's more sort of a broader criticism of the rampant sexism that had its part in shaping the show - being one to come out of the early 2000s. Ideas such as this - you could really go on for hours as its fascinating how ideological frameworks are presented certain ways in media - and the way masculine and feminine social dynamics, to list only one, is presented in supernatural is definitely a can of worms.

[itsmarsss]

The World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show [Rodrick Heffley x Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

(~from the vault~)

Susan invites you to watch one of the Heffley's weird annual traditions, and you're expecting anything but this.

Word Count: 1,479

[...]

Dating Rodrick Heffley was… an experience. Not in a bad way at all, it was only that it could be… weird, for lack of a better word to describe it, at times. Like right now, for instance, when you were sitting in his living room while his parents told an extremely over-complicated story through… puppets.

You weren’t exactly sure how you'd gotten yourself into this situation. Okay, well, that was a lie, actually.

Susan had been incredibly persistent about you coming to the ‘World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show’, as she made sure to announce extravagantly, adamant about you being present to witness the oh-so-great performance, and, despite Rodrick´s ridiculous attempts at making faces at you from behind her that quietly told you to not, in any occasion, agree to it, you just couldn’t get yourself to say no.

“Why would you say yes? You could have just said your grandma just died or something!” Rodrick questioned you, exhasperated.

“Dude! Don’t say that about my grandma!”

“Okay sorry. But you could’ve said absolutely anything! Anything!"

“I tried! She kept finding solutions! She even said she’d move the date up.”

“She said that?”

“Yeah. Why?"

“Shit. She’s never moved the date before. She really wants you to go.”

“Why is that?"

“No idea. I think she just really likes you."

“Why do you sound so shocked about that?”

“She’s never really liked any of the girls I went out with.”

“Okay, James Dean. You’ve gone out with like one girl before me when you were like sixteen.”

“Hey I got laid! Occasionally.”

“Ew."

“It’s true!”

“Yeah right.”

“Fine. I got laid twice. Happy?"

You shrugged, grinning at him as you poked fun at him some more.

"Well now that you said yes to her I guess we’re gonna have to go.”

“It can’t be that bad!”

It could. It definitely, 100%, without a doubt, could. The ‘performance’ had been going on for about half an hour now, and it didn’t look like it was heading towards an end any time soon. You were all sitting in chairs, which were lined up in front of the couch, your seat between Rodrick's and Greg's, with Rowley by Greg’s left and Manny by Rodrick’s right.

Okay, yeah, maybe this time you should have listened to Rodrick.

You really, really tried, but you could not, as much as you desperately wanted to, figure out the plot of the story Mr. and Mrs. Heffley were trying to tell. It had something to do with dragons and fried chicken and at some point you could swear there was a clown. How any of that tied up together was beyond you, and, as you could see, Rodrick and Greg too.

The only ones who seemed to be having any fun at all were Manny, who was standing up and clapping like crazy throughout the entire thing, probably props to the very questionable voices his parents were making for the ridiculous amount of different characters that seemed to progressively look worse in appearance as they showed up, and Rowley, who also didn’t seem to understand any of it, but looked entertained nonetheless, occasionally even shooting Greg a few comments, to which Greg just smiled and mumbled something incoherent under his breath in response.

You leaned over to Rodrick, who was wide-eyed at this point, looking borderline terrified at the scene that unfolded in front of him. “You said it was bad, not that it was gonna give me nightmares!” You whispered.

He looked genuinely embarrassed, and for Rodrick Heffley to be embarrassed of something, oh that was something. “I tried to warn you!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Greg whispered too, making himself a part of the conversation.

“Shut up dickhead,” Rodrick let out under his breath, to which Greg replied by sticking his tongue out at him, earning a middle finger in response. Oh, brothely love.

“Do you guys really have to go through this every year?”

They both nodded. “It’s like it gets more terrifying every year,” Greg commented, and you took a quick glance back at the couch, where Mr. and Mrs. Heflley were crouched behind. Apparently a pig who was wearing a bow tie was hunting down a rabbit for sweets now.

“Do you guys think they’d notice if we left?” Greg asked and you pondered on it. Then you had an idea.

You turned to face your boyfriend. “Okay look. You gotta be fast alright? And you can't let your mom be upset at me."

“What?” Rodrick questioned you, finally managing to look away from the trance the puppet show had kept his eyes in.

“When I say I gotta go you say you’re coming with me.”

He nodded, though he hadn't really gotten the gist of where you were going with that.

“Wait can I come?”

“No,” Rodrick promptly replied.

“Come on give him a break," you nudged his arm, to which he rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh.

“Fine. But only ‘cause she asked.”

Greg smiled, looking at you. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Alright we gotta get out fast. Just grab Rowley with ya.”

Greg nodded in understandment.

“Hey Mrs. Heffley?” You spoke up.

The voices stopped. You were already grateful just for that moment of silence. Susan’s head appeared from behind the sofa. “Yes dear? Something wrong?”

“I'm really sorry, but um I really need to head home, I think.”

“Oh but we’re only halfway through-”

“I’ll take her home!” Rodrick exclaimed at lightspeed, yanking you by your wrist and sprinting towards the front door.

“We’ll come with!” Greg yelled too, doing the same with Rowley, leaving only Manny as an audience for the remainder of the story.

“But-”

“Bye! Thnak you for inviting me!” You yelled over, already out by the front yard.

“Uh- bye sweetie!”

You got to Rodrick’s van, which was parked on the street, all panting and out of breath from running so fast.

“Okay, get in demon spawn.” Rodrick unlocked the back door and waiting for the boys to enter.

“Hey!” You exclaimed in feighened offense.

“Not you. You’re a… sexy little demon...ess,” he smirked, knowing he’d get a laugh out of you.

You could hear Greg and Rowley say ‘ew’ from the back as you got in the car.

“I agrre with them, ew. I think I prefer demon spawn.”

Rodrick got in himself, turning the engine on. “Okay any ideas?”

“Can we go to Chipotle?” Rowley asked.

“No we should go to Taco Bell!” Greg yelled, and they immediately started arguing about it, talking over each other so loud you couldn’t understand a single word they were saying.

“Hey! Dickheads! Shut up!” Rodrick yelled, and, surprisingly, they did. “Y/n chooses.”

“What? Why?” Greg asked, offended.

“She has girlfriend privileges!”

You laughed at Greg’s angry expression. “Well I think we should go to Subway.”

“We’re not going to Subway." Rodrick deadpanned.

“What? You said I had girlfriend privileges!”

“Not if you choose fucking Subway!”

“Fine. Domino’s?”

“That's a decent option!” He smiled, and started driving.

You got yourselves a large pizza, Greg and Rowley quick to leave the table and go chase after each other around the place.

“You have grease on your chin,” you informed Rodrick when you looked at him. He wiped it off, his mouth full of food. He tried to say something, but quit as soon as he started, the sound muffled.

“Dude swallow the pizza first, that’s gross!”

He did so before trying again. “I said thank you.”

“It was looking all greasy and gross!"

"Oh shut up," he smiled at your teasing. "I meant for saying yes to my mom. She was actually like super excited about it.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together, confused. “Wait I thought you wanted me to say no.”

“Well yeah. But she clearly liked that you did go or whatever. She likes you.”

“That good?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. Maybe he won’t be so up our asses if she likes you.”

“Well you’re very welcome. Cause that was… something.”

He laughed. “You thought that was bad? You should see the Christmas one.”

There was no way. “They do a Christmas puppet show too?”

“Oh no it’s much worse. They actually act in it.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. And you’re officially invited by me.”

“Oh no don’t bring me into this again-”

“Too late! I-” he took a sip of his soda- “will be telling my mom you had a wonderful time today, and you were so, so bummed you had to go home early!”

“You’re a jerk!”

“What's that I hear? You’d be thrilled to attend the Yearly Heffley Christmas Play?"

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

You smiled. You supposed you signed up for weirdness the moment you said yes to dating Rodrick Heflley of all people.

“I do, actually!”

He smiled at you. No, you don't.

[. . .]

A/N: heyy rewrote some thingies but its mostly the same as when i first wrote it. so here ya go with some more rodrick content! :)

[make-me-imagine]

Our Little Secret

Prompts: "If there was ever anybody meant for me, it's you." + "I think…everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves” & Mar 12: Crowley checks in to make sure you are alright (no third prompt). Requested By: Three separate Anons.

Pairing: Crowley x GN!Reader; Y/n insert *maybe slightly ooc Crowley, who is a bit more "human" and lovesick.

Warnings: Brief mentions of injury; and a kiss at the end.

Words: 1.6k

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000, @imaginesfire, @rexit-mo Supernatural Taglist: @kaashi, @witchygagirl

-

Crowley looked around the dingy hotel room, ignoring the quick turns of Sam and Dean as they drew their guns on him. Also ignoring their displeased groans, he clicked his tongue. "Lovely choice. Always a fan of the mysterious stains on the ceilings." He said with a smirk as he turned to the boys.

"What the hell are you doing here Crowley?" Dean asked.

Crowley shrugged lightly. "Bored?"

Sam squinted at him, giving Dean a look showing his disbelief. "Uh-huh. What do you want?" Sam asked.

Crowley lifted his arms in an open gesture. "Who said I wanted anything?"

"Well, you sure as hell didn't come just to check in on us."

"What if I did? Maybe I've grown fond of our time together" Crowley said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. His eyes cast over the room behind Sam and Dean. "You two aren't fun anyways, where is Y/n, my lovely little hunter go off on their own?" He asked casually, looking down and flipping through a journal on the table.

Dean walked over, slamming it shut, as he eyed Crowley. "Sorry Crowley, Y/n's not here for you to torture with your charm."

"How disappointing. Why's that. Did Y/n get tired of you two, and leave the nest? I'd applaud if they did."

Dean rolled his eyes as Sam adjusted himself awkwardly, looking between Dean and Crowley. "Y/n wasn't able to come on this hunt." He said casually, but noted how Crowley's attention grew as he turned to face Sam.

"And why's that?" He asked.

Sam furrowed his brow, noting the seemingly genuine curiosity in his voice. He looked over at Dean, who seemed to be distracting himself with something.

Looking back at Crowley he shrugged his shoulder. "Y/n got hurt on the last case, and had to stay back at the bunker to recover."

"Well I'm surprised they've made it this far, most in your company don't make it a year."

Sam was almost thrown by the amount of malice in Crowley's voice. Maybe he really hadn't been joking all those times he showed interest in you, and maybe 'his little hunter' wasn't just a teasing nickname after all.

"Hey!" Dean say turning around to face him. "If you aren't here for any real purpose, beat it, we've got a job to do."

Crowley shrugged. "Fine"

Sam and Dean let out breaths of relief when Crowley vanished from the room. Dean returning to his previous tasks, paying no more thought to Crowley. But Sam had a nagging feeling that he knew exactly where Crowley was going.

- - -

"So this is how you spend your days of recovery?"

You jumped as Crowley's voice came from nowhere, causing you to turn in surprise. You winced and let out a hiss of pain as you grumbled out in anger. "Don't do that."

Crowley frowned as he rounded the couch, seeing you adjust yourself with a pained expression. Pausing the show you had on the tv, you looked up at him. "What the hell are you doing here anyways?" You asked, trying to ignore your quick paced heartbeat, or the way you felt a chill crawl up your spine as Crowley looked you over.

"Came to check in. Heard from rocky and bullwinkle that you got yourself hurt."

"I didn't get myself hurt." You excused. "A building practically collapsed on top of me, there was nothing I could do about that."

Crowley shrugged his head. "Would you like me to..." he trailed off as he wiggled his fingers.

You grimaced. "Not if you're gonna do that."

He put down his hands with a sot smile. "From the amount of pain you seem to be in, you should be begging for my help."

You rolled your eyes. "Oh you'd just love that wouldn't you?"

He cocked his head and his smile grew. "Immensely."

You let out a short laugh. "Now why are you seriously here? It surely wasn't just because you heard I got hurt."

Crowley let out an annoyed groan. "Why does no one believe I have feelings?"

You furrowed your brow, watching him carefully. "Because you have failed to show an ounce of emotion that was not tied directly to your own benefit?"

He let out a small breath. "Doesn't mean one can't change." His voice was unusually soft as he spoke. Turning he began to pace around the room. "I mean, sure, I'm a demon, The King of Hell. But, I've helped you and the Winchesters more times that I can count, and I've actually cared about the things I helped with. Well, somewhat. So does that not show, that I at least have some semblance of emotion?" He spun around to look at you, noting how bewildered you appeared.

"You really care how we see you don't you? When did that happen?"

Crowley straightened up a bit, and cleared his throat. "I don't know. But don't you think it's possible? That I have the possibility of being....better?"

You watched him for a moment, wading through the confusion that washed over you. You could see the genuine feeling of aggravation in his face. "I- I think....that everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves."

Crowley felt a soft smile cross his face as he walked over to you. Looking down at you, he paused before reaching for your shirt. You froze, feeling your heart hammer in your chest and heat rise up your neck. Lifting your shirt slightly, he could see an array of bandages and bruises. He winced a bit. "That doesn't look good."

Placing his hand on your side, you felt heat wash over you as his hand and your body briefly glowed. You closed your eyes until the light faded. And when you opened them, you reached down and pressed your hand against our side, noting the lack of pain.

Looking up at Crowley you spoke softly. "Is this you trying to prove yourself?"

He smirked. "Not necessarily. But it is me trying to show you why I wish to prove myself." You cocked your head in confusion, and he turned away from you, taking a few steps before he continued. "I lied. When I said I didn't know when I started to care how you saw me. Honestly, I don't care how those two dimwits see me. It's your opinion I care about." He turned back towards you. "And it started from the moment we met."

You shook your head softly in disbelief. "But...why, would you care what I thought?"

Walking back over to you, he stopped light in front of you, staring down into your eyes. Reaching up, he hooked his fingers under your chin, and you felt an unfamiliar wave of emotion flow through you.

"Because I find myself caring about you. About everything to do with you. Where you are. What you need. What makes you smile, or laugh. And when you get hurt. I feel angry, and scared."

"You? Scared?" You almost laughed.

"What I have been feeling. For you. Are...feelings I have not felt for a very, very, long time. If not ever. And no matter what you truly think of me. I know what I think."

You swallowed hard, as you kept your eyes locked with his. "And what's that?"

"I think, that, if there was ever anybody meant for me, it's you."

You felt as though your heart had an anchor on it, as it beat so heavily in your chest, you weren't sure if you could keep breathing.

"I-" You tried to speak, but could not find your voice.

He smiled, a soft, yet sad smile as he dropped his hand from your face. "You don't believe me."

You shook your head a bit, finding some ability to speak. "No, I...think I do believe you, but I'm not sure if I should."

"Because of all my past treachery? I can't say I blame you. But I am surprised at our reaction. No disgust, no yelling. It's almost as if...you knew, was I obvious?"

You shook your head, unsure if you should speak. Crowley cocked his head, before a flash of understanding crossed his face, and a smile slowly broke out.

"No. It's because you feel something too. But it, what? Scares you? Disgusts you?"

You shook your head again. "It doesn't disgust me."

"But it scares you?"

"I-I don't know."

He smiled again, before leaning down, bringing his face up to yours. You didn't move away, but kept your eyes locked with his. Bringing his hand back up, he caressed your cheek.

He spoke in a whisper. "No. It doesn't scare you. And that, is what scares you. But it's alright my little hunter, it can be our little secret." Leaning in, he suddenly pressed his lips against yours.

You tensed in surprise for a moment, before you felt your body relax. Your mind went blank as he deepened the kiss, his hand cupping your chin as you tilted your face up to meet his. His other hand gripped the back of your head.

Bringing your hand up, you wrapped it around his wrist as you returned the kiss, forgetting where you were, and just who you were kissing. Suddenly, your phone rang from beside you, bringing you back to reality.

Pulling away, you opened your eyes, meeting his dark brown ones. A smile spread across his face. "Better answer that, it's probably the dynamic duo checking in."

Almost thoughtlessly, you reached for your phone. Looking at the screen, you began to answer it but paused as Crowley brought his head down to your ear, whispering "But remember darling. Its our little secret."

Turning to look at him, you said nothing before you answered the phone. Aware of his eyes on you the whole time you spoke to Sam. You felt a peculiar itch at the back of your mind, a restlessness wanting you to hang up the phone, to continue what you had been doing before. But you pushed it away, and as you spoke to Sam, you knew there was no way in hell you could tell him anything that had happened, not now, and maybe not ever.

xx End xx

I hate how I ended it, but it had to stop at some point and I couldn't think of much lol.

[angelsdean]

What bothers me with DeanLisa is that Sam pushes Dean toward Lisa because of something Dean fantasizes about... 40 years earlier. Before the Apocalypse, before knowing angels and God exist, before being tortured 30 years in Hell (and spending 10 years torturing)... Sam, being oblivious, doesn't take any of that into account. Dean has changed too much since he dreamt about this for their relationship to work (I think DeanLisa could have worked if they were both in the same mindstate than s3 but)

yea there are a lot of reasons why deanlisa was never going to really work out in that context. i think if circumstances had been different then maybe. but i just have a lot of issues with deanlisa, they're not my fave and i can't get over how plot device-y they are, but that's an issue with the writing and i don't actually hate lisa as a character or anything. i know a lot of multishippers like deanlisa so i don't wanna step on any toes and i think in fanon, giving them more depth than the narrative ever did helps make them more interesting and complex. but when i'm like putting my analytical hat on and looking at what the text actually does and critiquing what they actually gave us versus what they didn't give us or what they could've done it's well :/ like narratively she, and ben, are presented as this ready made family fantasy and that's about it. that's their sole "function" and lisa never gets much depth or complexity to her character and it's just very :/

i think dean has a huge heart, and i while i def question him showing up out of the blue to move in with a woman he knew collectively maybe 2 weeks out of his life, i do think dean IS the kind of person who "falls in love" a little bit with everyone he meets that treats him with genuine kindness and affection. and i think there are different degrees and shades and intensities to that "love" and it's not always the kind of One True Love definition of love. like he also only spends about 2 - 3 weeks with cassie but says she was his first love. and that love is important and meaningful but also very different from say, his love for cas which gets 12 years to grow. but neither is "better" than the other, they're just different! so like, i think he definitely cared for lisa and loved her in some way, and maybe if, like you said, circumstance had been different, they could have worked out and maybe grown to really love each other deeply. but in the circumstances they were in it always felt a little doomed. (here's a really good post about this).

as much as we can debate whether dean really loved her or not, i think dean would probs Never have sought her out if sam hadn't pushed him toward her w/ is "dying wish" of dean being a happy little suburban man. i don't think dean was thinking abt her all those yrs or holding a torch for her. and dean might've wanted that fantasy family life at one point but yea for dean those dreams were a long time ago. i think by the end of s5 dean doesn't really think that life is in the cards for him anymore.

my reading of the situation is: dean is numb with grief. dean has lost nearly everyone (bobby's still around but that's about it, and they don't seem to be in contact). dean is trying to honor his brother's "dying" wish. except sam isn't actually dead! (i forget who brought this up but i saw it recently and!!!!) sam literally isn't dead when he goes into the cage !!! he's spending eternity being tortured by the devil as far as dean knows. i think that would cause dean a great amount of stress / worry / anguish on top of his grief. i don't think dean would be able to just move on and play happy family forever. so, he's numb, depressed, going through the motions, and holding on to this one (1) thing he now has, this perfect little family. and it's what he should want !! it's what he used to dream about !! but so much has changed. and he cares about lisa, he does. she's great and she's trying to help him. and ben is a great kid and dean loves him too. but it was never going to work, not really, because dean's issues are SO huge and all encompassing at that point AND this life wasn't really his choice. it's not what he would have chosen if sam hadn't nudged him in that direction. he's there, and he's trying, but it's not enough. he's got unresolved hell trauma, unresolved grief, probably constantly thinking abt sam being tortured in hell by the devil after dean very recently spent 40 yrs !! in that place. he's also lost cas, his best friend, who in dean's eyes abandoned him for heaven. based on past and future behavior he's probably also feeling like he doesn't deserve to be alive, possibly is passively suicidal. he's got a lot going on, and of course you don't have to be perfect or have your shit together to be in a relationship, but i don't think dean was in the right place to be in a relationship or to be playing the role of suburban dad and husband. and i think that's kind of the point, i think the narrative wants us to see that friction and see the cracks in the fantasy.

[katrantsasoiaf]

on twitter everyone is losing their mind about the alleged aegon the conqueror prequel and the supposed pitch about aegon being a "drunken lout" or something. but like

even if that was the case, they seemed bothered by the idea of aegon being interesting. like, most of the criticism of a supposed pitch that we have no information about besides one tiny tidbit with zero context. it's merely the idea that aegon i is anything less than "the most disciplined" of the targaryen kings or something. but aegon i is easily the most boring of the aegons in the story because he has no actual personality. i mean this so very genuinely.

aegon ii even with the small amount of characterization that he recieves in fire and blood, at least he had some defining traits and flaws, a character arc, and a downfall. aegon iii as well is a child at the end of fire and blood and got more characterization than the grownass aegon i. aegon iv is a terrible person, but we know so much about him and his actions and his relationships to other characters. aegon v is a main character of the dunk and egg stories.

meanwhile, aegon has no personality.

i saw the description, and being charitable, it could make sense for his character based on his supposed dream in house of the dragon.

mostly because i envision him as prince hal in this pitch. if you don't know, "prince hal" refers to the media critisim of the characterization of young henry v in shakespeare's plays henry iv, in which he is characterized as wayward youth who enjoys the company of petty criminals and wastrels. that is until his ascension in henry v in which he becomes this great warrior king who conquerors the french crown for england during the hundred year war.

basically the plot of netflix's "the king" with timothée chalamet (you know, the movie everyone in this fandom uses to make edits of book!jon snow, and fun fact, dean charles chapman aka tommen and tom glynn-carney aka aegon ii feature in this movie too).

so, i would imagine aegon the conqueror as a youth on dragonstone. his father, aerion, is ruling still and aegon is unmarried. perhaps he is like prince hal, with no real purpose in his life, just living his life up on the island with no responsibilities or burdens.

and then one day, he has his dream. of the white walkers, of the long night, of the prince that was promised. and perhaps it's this horrible dream that causes him to realize that he needs to end his past behavior and begin planning for the future, to prepare for the threat in the north. like how rhaegar found the prophecy and then decided that "it seems i must be a warrior", aegon will decide "it seems i must be a conqueror". and that's when we get him visiting westeros for the first time, ordering the painted table be made, etc.

or perhaps it's because of this dream that for a time he becomes a wastrel. much like his descendant, daeron the drunken who was also burdened with the gift of prophecy, who drank and whored to cope with the trauma of his visions. perhaps, aegon also sought to run from the burden of destiny in wine and ale. until he changed his mind and began his plotting of the conquest. maybe at the behest of his sisters, rhaenys and visenya, to not ignore his dream.

idk, but either of these would have the potential for character development. the idea that his mysterious (aka personality-deprived) characterization in fire and blood was due to a calculated transformation by aegon the conqueror to preserve his own mysticism. that he has not always been this person history views him as, but rather it was someone who he needed to become because he believed that he was required to by destiny.

perhaps i should have prefaced this post with the fact that i hate aegon the conqueror. and a show about the conquest is a terrible idea of a lot of reasons (a blackfyre rebellion show would be much better. honestly who do i have to pay to get a dunk and egg show?)

but this was the weird reason that fans latched onto that derives from the same problem a lot of stans had when hotd came out. which is that most characters in fire and blood are very bare bones, if they have any characterization to begin with. and readers fill in the blanks with their headcanons. but when adapted, the writers had to fill in the gaps themselves, and then fans get made when that doesn't match their headcanons. which to be honest, i do the same.

but until an actual synopsis is dropped, the outrage about aegon the conqueror's character assassination is ridiculous.

you need a character first to assassinate.

[trivechallengehost35]

Possess Your Future Challenge & Job Next Testimonial Legit?

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[autisticandroids]

Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up

okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.

and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?

therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):

john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.

now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.

and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.

john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.

dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.

castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.

he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)

(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)

anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.

castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.

he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.

six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.

but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.

so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.

dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.

smiling slightly.

as he watches dean gut this old woman.

dean freezes.

the man takes a step forward.

"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."

dean is silent.

"family business, is it?"

silence continues.

"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."

and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.

there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.

but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.

it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.

so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.

of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.

so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.

even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)

but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.

dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.

cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."

and dean buries his face in cas' chest.

[tedthetalk]

Ok no one asked for this but I’ve been meaning to put them all in one place anyway so here’s my

Noncon-free Samifer Fic Rec List

Multiship Rating (all fics have Samifer endgame ofc): 🤍 = No other ships

❤️ = Other ships w/ only other characters exist but are background

🧡 = Other ships w/ only other characters exist and aren’t the focus but get some chapters to themselves

💛 = Other ships w/ only other characters exist and get an equal amount of screen time

💚 = Other ships w/ Sam and/or Lucifer exist but are background/used only for plot development

💙 = Other ships w/ Sam and/or Lucifer exist and get their own screen time/chapters

Authors + Featured fics (basically, read all of their stuff but especially the stuff linked)

all_the_kings_ham (AO3)

You’ve Got to Pay For What You Break, 165k, M, ❤️💚 | Lucifer takes a bet he shouldn’t have and Sam gets surprisingly attached to a man he just met. Angel and Winchester family content!! Surprisingly sweet, but fair warning for late chapter, misunderstanding-based angst

A Northern Hymn, >132k (ongoing), M, 💛 | 1870’s old America au! Winchester’s are witches an Charlie is a Winchester. Because it’s what she deserves. The vibes are so immaculate and I can’t fucking wait to see where the plot goes. Baby witch Claire content!

Rain in the Valley, 58k, M, 🤍 | 16 year old Sam takes refuge from the rain in an empty church, and the coincidences that follow. I was torn between adding this one or If Not For You but this one is just. So good. Ending hits like a punch to the gut

ophan (AO3) [unfortunately the links that were here no longer work as op deleted 😔 however I do have pdfs of some of their fics including ones not described here & will happily send them over via DM]

The Light Beyond The Glass, 138k, M, 🤍 | Something else came out of Purgatory with the Leviathans and is eating them and dozens of humans, leaving nothing but white powder and rot behind. The only thing that can stop it? An archangel. Actually one of the first samifer fics I read! Top tier vibes throughout and some frankly amazing Dean POVs

Falling Down, 12k, M, 🤍 | Post-trials, Dean prays for an angel to save his brothers life. Lucifer answers. Domestic-ish s9 au bunker fic + some Kevin

Resonance, 19k, E, 🤍 | Despite Sam’s familiarity with dark Halloween rituals and the demon connected to them, Lucifer is the first to spot what’s really going on. Or, “the Devil doesn’t need saving but maybe Sam Winchester does.” Yet more utterly fantastic Dean POVs and tbh a surprisingly unique take on how Lucifer got back topside. Dark intense vibes but light on the angst, my favorite combo

Hades_the_Blingking (AO3)

Inseparable, 76k, E, ❤️ | Thanks to a well-meaning minor demon, Sam and Lucifer are bound together. Case fic, canon divergent from 5x11. Lighthearted and funny with genuinely some of the best smut I’ve ever read. Also the fic I made this meme about

A Silver Tongue and A White Lie, 4k, T, 🤍 | Rewrite of 11x9 with the best mix of s5 and s11 Lucifer characterization I’ve seen. Wish this were canon tbh

A Touch of Destiny, 115k, E, ❤️ | Planetary Ambassador Winchester is kidnapped, sold into slavery, and bought by Pirate King Lucifer, the man supposedly responsible for his mother’s death. The worldbuilding! The foreshadowing!! The plot twists!!! I love sci-fi aus in general but this one has to be my favorite

alas_horatio (AO3)

Misplaced Grace, 71k, E, 💛💚 | Sam agrees to cover for Dean as a roadie for Deans favorite band. The music!!!! Op has a playlist in the authors notes but I always listen to Lindsey Sterling. Amazing vibes throughout + some fun mid-youth crises.

How to Fall, 41k, M, 🤍 | Bobby, Sam, and Dean cast a spell that will either make Lucifer human, or bring him right to Sam. Very good mix of funny and profound; the sick Lucifer scenes have implanted themselves in my brain (affectionate)

Due Cause, 93k, E, 💛💚 | Sam is hired at the law firm of his dreams the same day the infamous senior partner, Lucifer, returns. The politics are a little outdated but otherwise very fun and surprisingly sweet. Lucifer is a dick, but like, in a fun way.

YouCantKeepMeDown (AO3)

Just Desserts, 77k, E, 🧡💙 | Sam and Dean are hired as bodyguards for the two youngest Shurley siblings. Shenanigans ensue. (Its mostly Gabriel’s fault) Technically Lucifer/Gabriel/Sam but I can’t not include it. (No actual incest, Lucifer and Gabe aren’t related) Also trans Raphael content!

Mafia Archangels Series, 82k total, 14 works, 💛 | 4 crime bosses walk into a bar. 2 of them walk out with boyfriends. Mafia stuff fits the archangels so well + even more trans Raphe content

Family Ties, 72k, E, ❤️ | Sam catches a man stealing his car, and then fails to properly tell him to fuck off. Manipulative little shit Sam plus not-quite-mafia business

SansPellegrino (AO3) [this one is kinda pointless because they’ve only got two fics and I’ve linked them but idk they deserve to be here]

Some Kind of Home, 67k, E, ❤️💚 | Castiel finds his friend Dean’s brother bruised and unconscious on a neighbor’s lawn and, vetoing Lucifer’s voting to just leave him there, drags him home and gives him a place to stay over the summer. So many angel family shenanigans. So many. Lucifer is gonna have an aneurism one of these days.

The Missing Piece , 30k, no rating, ❤️ | Castiel invites Sam and Dean to his older brothers’ island over break. Obviously they say yes. Lucifer is cheesy & the Shurley family is patched together with duct tape.

anactoria (AO3)

Devour, 12k, E, 🤍 | Lucifer finds Sam during 5x14 and offers him his blood instead. Immaculate vibes + canon nihilist Dean

Frozen Stars Series, 22k total, 2 works, 🤍 | Fantasy setting oneshots meant to just be porn but accidentally grew the makings of a plot. Great worldbuilding.

sparxwrites (AO3 and tumblr)

Late Night Study Sessions, 5k, E, 🤍 | Sam make use of the library being open all night to finish his essay, Lucifer makes use of it to get that dick. Exactly what it sounds like (midnight library bjs)

Untitled, 422, E, 🤍 | “samifer, bottom!lucifer, dirty talk” Do I rly need to say more

fightlikeagirl (AO3)

Bad Things, 2.2k, E, 🤍 | “A witches curse hits Lucifer in an unexpected way” Basically tentacle porn but make it soft.

Fairy Bride, 3.2k, M, 🤍 | Sam is kidnapped by fae who like him maybe a little bit too much. Lucifer comes to the rescue. Comfort fic it’s so sweet.

Abattoir Blues, 1.2k, M, 🤍 | Another AU of 5x14! Much less Dean mentions this time lol. Warning for slight dubcon cuz it’s not in the tags

entanglednow (AO3)

Idle Hands, 1.4k, E, 🤍 | Sam teaches Lucifer to jerk off. There’s literally so many fics with that title having to do with Lucifer and masturbation, and somehow they’re all great.

Lucifer Bound Series, 7.9k total, 3 works, 🤍 | Some well-meaning demons set up a ritual to bind Sam to Lucifer’s will but it ‘goes wrong’ and ends up the other way around. Aka Sam potentially saves the world by being the most demanding top ever

The Fourth Wall Series, 40k total, 15 works, 💛 | Sam, Dean, Cas, and eventually Lucifer discover the wonders of fanfic. Specifically the stuff about themselves. Apparently this one is a classic and tbh I get why.

kngfisher (AO3) [all their fics as of this edit have been orphaned and the profile link is no longer helpful — the link here leads to a compilation of them]

Preventative Measures, 21k, G, 🤍 | Post-Gadreel, Sam puts wards up around his bedroom, making it no one can enter without his permission. Lucifer is the only one who notices. Liked Falling Down but didn’t think it was domestic or fluffy enough? Here ya go! No Kevin this time tho.

Idle Hands, 11k, E, 🤍 | Castiel manages to pull Sam’s body out of the cage but this time, his soul comes with, as does Lucifer. Dean & Cas r kinda dicks + the best descriptions of possession I’ve ever seen

suchanadorer (AO3)

I Would Be The One, 50k, E, 💙 | AU inspire by Beauty and the Beast. Has a pick-your-own ending which I always appreciate

Destinations, 5.8k, T, 🤍 | Early s5, Sam chafes against the constrains of a ‘normal’ life, but Lucifer can travel the world. Sam asks to come with him. Luvvv me a Lucifer POV & the aurora borealis scene went into the soup (my secret good spn) as soon as I read it

maydei (AO3)

I Won’t Be The Same, 24k, E, ❤️ | Sam runs away at 16 and encounters Lucifer not long after. They almost, almost get to build a life together. I don’t generally like fics with heavy angst but happy endings soothe the soul. Seriously, will make you cry

Shoot to Kill, 2.7k, E, 🤍 | Lucifer catches a spy in his office, Sam resorts to some underhanded tactics to keep himself alive. Short but really interesting worldbuilding! Would love more of this 

Biblical, 1.7k, E, 🤍 | This is just porn. Sweet, sweet blasphemous porn. Pretty sure I picked up prayer being intense for angels from this fic

chiaroscure (AO3)

The Song Remains the Same, 3.7k, T, 🤍 | Sam and Lucifer, in the pit. Much less directly romantic than most of the fics here but fascinating, one of my favorite takes on the cage

Kneel, 4.5k, T, 🤍 | Sam and prayer and Lucifer (and Gabriel) Lucifer is awkward & curious & creepy and Sam is guilty. It’s s5 what more could you ask for

TheQuietWings (AO3)

Sunset Pink, 2.9k, T, 🤍 | Someone has to take care of Lucifer's wings, seeing as he hasn't been. Wingfic wingfic wingfic!!!!

Tell-Tale Faith, 3.5k, T, 🤍 | Retelling of 1x12 Faith where Lucifer can help, she just needs something first. S1 Sam is so sad and angry and alone (and eager to say yes)

Individual fics

Just a Little Bit Bad, 127k, M, ❤️ | Voodou au w/ bokor Lucifer and Dean in need of more than a little help. More plotty than shippy but said plot is more than enough to put it on here

Patchworks Series, 121k total, 4 works, 🤍 | Michael and Lucifer walk the earth again, this time unbound by the ties of fate. However, just because they can leave well enough alone doesn’t mean they will. Pre-Chuck-as-god reveal but honestly better written for it. The archangels dynamic in this is really well done and Gadreel gets the nuance he deserves

I Dream of Lucy, 83k, M, ❤️ | Early s11, Sam & Dean are attacked by djinn, sending Sam deep into a intricately spun fake world. But as it happens, he isn’t the only one trapped. Hooo boy the concept of this one is so fascinating. Human au + angel family fun except not. Kind of almost fake dating? Very compelling mix of lighthearted fluff and that sweet sweet complicated feelings angst.

Infernal World, 61k, M, 🤍 | With Dean and Castiel snatched by Michael, Sam has to fight to survive on his own in a zombie-ridden America. Well.....maybe not totally on his own. Canon divergent rather than a separate au but actually really well done. Has probably the best, least convoluted use of time travel I’ve ever seen in a fic (or published fiction for that matter). Also quality Cas&Lucifer interactions

Getting What He Wants, 55k, E, ❤️ | Lucifer is broken out of the cage as the angels fall and Castiel decides the bunker is the best place to keep him (despite his and Dean’s apparent utter lack of faith in Sam). The slowburn kinda crashes and burns pretty fast in this one but it’s sweet so it’s fine

The Knight, 50k, M, ❤️ | Lucifer, a disgraced noble-turned fighter, has a master plan to get hired by and then seduce Prince Sam Winchester, thereby giving him enough power to tear down his older brother. Unfortunately (or maybe luckily) for him, Prince Sam is quite possibly one of the kindest people in existence. Technically part of a series but the extras aren’t rly necessary to the main story. That said the ‘it could have been perfect’ au is one of my fave comfort fics.

Echo, 38k, M, 🤍 | Lucifer doesn’t disappear after Cas tries to take Sam’s hell trauma, but it turns out he does what he does for a reason. Does a v good job with Deans reaction to their situation and then Luci’s abandonment issues in later chapters

Devil May Care Series, 34k total, 3 works, 🤍 | Cas removing Sams hell trauma doesn’t quite work and Hallucifer shows up again after Dick Roman is defeated and Sam is left on his own. This is specifically hallucifer and technically platonic but op does such a good job with their dynamic I had to include it.

Wayward Family, 31k, M, 💛 | A collection of minifics with Michael/Adam, Dean/Castiel, and Lucifer/Gabriel/Sam as a makeshift family. Very domestic, fluffiness varies per chapter

fell up, threw down, 33k, M, 🧡💙 | The spell to cast the angels from heaven does more than just that, it rewrites everything, returning the world to the pagans. Normally I don’t like fics that mess with the lore too much but this one does it really well.

Tangible, 28k, M, 🧡 | AU post 7x15 where Hallucifer isn’t all he seems. THE samifer fic. One of the originals and an absolute classic, if you don’t read any other fic on this list read this one

The Devil Wears Flannel (It Belongs to Sam), 28k, M, | Michael and Lucifer break themselves out of the cage, but their escape maybe doesn’t work the way they were expecting. Charlie content!!!!!!! Idk if I’m alone in this but I love side characters meeting Lucifer lol.

Blood on my Name, 23k, E, 🤍 | Sam snaps and gives in to his fate, him and Lucifer fix the world together. I’m not usually one for possession fics but they way they switch back & forth here is p well done! Also the 1 Dean POV is great

Murphy’s Law, 14k, M, 💛 | In the end, it’s just a stupid accident that brings Heaven and Hell down on the Winchester’s heads. Technically pre-slash but it’s heavily implied they’re gonna get there p soon. Would kill for a sequel

Sea Devil, 10k, E, ❤️ | AU inspired by of Pirates or the Caribbean. Pirate Capitan fits Lucifer far too well imo

How He Shines, 6.2, M, 🤍 | Sam is kidnapped by demons, who bring him to Lucifer, who has a gift. Dubcon. Angels and angel blood and true forms; amazingly dark & intense.

There Will Come a Reckoning, 5.8, M, 🤍 | Western AU, in which a captured Sam makes a deal with the devil. Cowboys! The colt! The old western equivalent of Las Vegas! Ye olde timey drag!

someone to eat the fruit, 5.4, T, 🤍 | “The cage is not what Sam expects.” Not really romantic but *chefs kiss* beautiful. Also not as dark as the tags make it sound, clock the knock-knock jokes tag

Devil in the Details, 2.7k, T, 🤍 | Dean drags Sam and Lucifer both from the edge of the pit; Sam learns to live with the Devil in his head. This is so well written I kinda wish it were stretched out more. The way their relationship develops is so well done I love it

The Devil in a Nice Tie, 2.7, E, 🤍 | Sam’s debate professor is definitely hitting on him. This is almost literally just porn. Lucifer is very good at dirty talk

Who Looks Inside, Awakes, 2.6, M 🤍 | Alternate ending to 5x11, in which Lucifer comes to the rescue and also is creepy <3

Get Out Of My Head, 2.5k, M, 🤍 | Lucifer enjoys just showing up and hanging around. Sam gets used to it. Hallucifer set up but heavily implied to actually be him

Sanctuary, 1.8, E, 🤍 | Sam tries to forget being Sam Winchester for a night. He finds a stranger more than willing to help him. I think the ‘plot what plot’ tag is the most telling thing about this fic :)

Vessel Exhibitionism, 1.3k, T, 🤍(💚?) | When Lucifer takes his true vessel, Dean bears witness. Warning for sliiiight wincest? It’s not rly there if you’re not looking for it but worth the mention ig

Unfinished/Abandoned but Worth Reading Anyway

Glory Upon Wings, 276k, E, 💛 | Super in-depth fantasy au. Very destiel heavy especially in the beginning so if you don’t actively like them you’re prolly gonna want to skip this one. Otherwise v compelling

The Boy King, 105k, M, 🧡 | Instead of just feeding him demon blood at 6 months, Azazel kidnaps Sam and raises him in hell. Really, really in-depth rewrite of basically everything. Adam is John & Mary’s kid and Sam is one badass evil motherfucker.

Feathers and chains, 40k, E, 🤍 | Another fantasy au! Probably the most lighthearted slave/servant au I’ve ever seen lmao. Wing!kink + enough Michifer to be worth a warning (it’s framed in a familial/‘angels are just weirdly close’ way rather than a romantic/sexual way but if that’s still squicky then be warned ig)

Skybound, 38k, T, 💛💚 | This one, um, never actually gets to the Lucifer part. I’m linking it because it’s premise is fantastic and I’m hoping one of you will be inspired enough to write a continuation or something.

Bonus (cuz I know I’ll have missed some)

archangelsammy’s rec list (highly recommended)

defilerwyrm‘s rec list

zeifellt‘s rec list

nicolabarth‘s rec list (+ this one)

tenoko1‘s rec list

[booksofkingdomsandcourts]

Nessian Week: AU Day

I work well with deadlines so even though this is just a run-of-the-mill Modern!AU, I thought I’d post this drabble that’s been knocking around in my head for a few weeks today! It has a little part two that I’m hoping to post later tonight :)

           Cassian could tell something was on Nesta’s mind all through dinner. He could tell as soon as he got home from work, really. It wasn’t about him, he didn’t think, since she’d kissed him welcome home and let him squeeze her ass. No, there was just…something. Something that made her eyes a little vacant and her words a little quiet. But during dinner she just let him talk about work, nodding and answering, and if there was one thing Cassian had learned about Nesta, it was to give her space. He would give it a little longer, and then he would ask.

           After dinner they watched an episode of the Netflix show they were working their way through and then got ready for bed. Even though it was only eight thirty, their rigid commitment to mornings at the gym meant they were always early to bed, early to rise.

           As they crawled under the covers, Cassian finally poked Nesta’s side and said, “Hey. Something you want to talk about?”

           He had long since learned that “what’s wrong” and “talk to me” didn’t work on Nesta. He had learned to just ask if she wanted to talk, and that sometimes, the answer was no. That was okay. He had also often assured her that one of the reasons he kept his chest so big was for ample cuddle room, if that was all she wanted instead.

           But tonight, Nesta sighed and looked at the ceiling, gathering her thoughts. Cassian propped himself up on one elbow, waiting.

           “I’ve been thinking about trying for law school again,” Nesta said at last.

           “Oh,” Cassian said, surprised but not unpleasantly so. When everything had gone to shit and their father had died, Nesta had withdrawn what Cassian was told was a very promising and competitive law school application. That had been over two years ago now, and Cassian had found himself wondering more than once if she missed no longer being on that path, or if it was something she had ever wanted for herself at all.

           “Yeah,” she agreed, then continued, “I just don’t think the sugar baby lifestyle suits me as well as it suits Feyre, you know?” Cassian laughed. “Seriously! She just lives in a big house and paints all day and is going to give Rhys as many babies as he wants, and I’m really happy for her.”

           “He really loves her,” Cassian said, feeling a need to defend his brother. It was maybe undeniable that Rhysand technically qualified as Feyre’s sugar daddy given their age gap, but the implication that he just wanted her for baby making, even though Cassian knew Nesta didn’t mean it like that, riled him just a little.

           “I know,” Nesta said, unfazed. “I said I was happy for her. I just don’t know that that’s for me, you know? I want to do something. I want to have a career and something that I am outside of just us.” If Cassian was not used to Nesta’s bluntness, he might have been offended. But she turned to look at him with her crystal-blue eyes unusually wide and vulnerable, and he knew this was really something that had been weighing on her for a while.

           “Okay, hell yeah,” Cassian said. “My Nesta, girlbossing it up. I’m all for it, whatever you want to do. Law school, business mogul, dean—you’ll kick ass no matter what.”

           Nesta rolled her eyes, but Cassian could see her cheeks had turned slightly pink. “Don’t ever call me girlboss again.”

           “No promises.”

           Nesta rolled her eyes again, and Cassian grinned wider. For a moment, Nesta picked at a loose thread on her sleeve, and then she said, “Or if none of them work out, I guess I could lean into the sugar baby lifestyle and start an OnlyFans.”

           Cassian suppressed a groan, imagining Nesta’s OnlyFans. The amount of money he would have paid for that if she wasn’t his…. “And I’d be your top supporter,” he promised.

           She gave him an exasperated look. “Anything I’d post on OnlyFans you get for free.”

           “But I’m going to support your endeavors, no matter what they are,” Cassian said. “You could try a new career every year for the rest of our lives and I’d be right there by your side. You’ll be the best at whatever you do, baby, you and I both know that.”

           “That’s actually a good point,” she said, pointing at him. “If I get in you’re not allowed to pay my tuition. And neither is Rhysand.”

           “What?” Cassian exclaimed. “Of course I am!”

           “You are not,” Nesta said, her voice leaving no room for argument. “This is my career, my path. I’ll get myself through and pay off the loans on my own.”

           It was a shame there was no talking Nesta into taking charity. If she had decided it would wound her pride to have Cassian pay her tuition, there would be no changing her mind. But he understood—if she wanted this to be something that was hers, it didn’t make sense to have him tied to it so intrinsically. He could accept that. Sort of.

           “Fine,” he said. “But I’m still paying rent and buying groceries and bringing you really big, sugary coffees when you have a hard day of studying. No argument.”

           That earned him another eye roll, but this time with a small smile. “Fine.” She scooted closer so she could snuggle against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close.

           Something in him relaxed just having her so close, but there was still tension in her arms, in her fingers on his back, so he just stroked her hair and waited. Finally, she whispered, “Did you mean it?”

           “About the sugary coffees? Of course. I know we try to eat right, but—”

           “No,” Nesta interrupted. “About…every year, for the rest of our lives. You being by my side.” She tightened her arms and fingers like she was clinging to him.

           For the first time tonight, Cassian was totally taken aback. That was what had thrown her? Wasn’t it obvious? Wasn’t it…what she wanted? “Yeah,” he said, ignoring a cold wash of fear in his stomach. “You don’t think I’m going anywhere, do you? Like I could ever even look at another woman now that I’ve loved you? This is it for me, Ness. Honestly you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

           He half expected her to shoot back about stalking or restraining orders or the like, but instead she squeezed him so tight even he almost had the wind knocked out of him. She moved her face from his chest to bury it against his neck, and though he didn’t feel the wet heat of tears, her ragged breaths sounded like she was trying not to cry. “Nesta,” he whispered softly. “Don’t tell me you want a career because you think I might leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”

           “I don’t just want it because of that,” she managed, voice choked. “But you can’t know. You can’t know you won’t get sick of me.”

           “How could I possibly get sick of you? You have ruined me for all other women, Ness, I mean that. And I don’t just mean about sex, though the sex I have with you is absolutely the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, no contest.” She let out a choked laugh against his chest. He could feel her tears now. “I am genuinely excited to see you chase your dreams, Nesta. I’m excited to bring you sugary coffees, and take you out for nice dinners after your big exams, and watch you kick the ass of every other attorney who is unfortunate enough to go up against you. You’re my everything. I don’t want you to spend any more time doubting that.”

           “I know,” Nesta whispered. “I know. You’re my everything too. I’ve never cared about anything as much as I care about you. That’s what’s so scary.”

           Cassian had known almost from the moment he met her that she was the woman he was going to marry. In his mind, however, it was such an inevitability that he hadn’t felt the need to rush. He thought of them as the type to just be together until one day they’d look at each other and say “hey, we should probably get married, huh?” But sometimes he forgot that there was a lot of insecurity under Nesta’s kickass physique and haughty stares. Maybe she needed that promise set in stone (a very expensive, very shiny stone) more than he had realized. He didn’t think she was hounding for a rock, but if she was worried that his lack of commitment was because he was leaving himself a doorway out, he needed to show her that she couldn’t be more wrong.

           As she rolled onto her back and invited him to have some of that life-changing sex, he thought to himself that maybe it was time he went and got a ring.

@nessianweek

[ficforthought]

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way  - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.  

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.  

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

endlessly

or, the one-shot that wouldn’t get out of my head where jack is a baby, cas is back, and he and dean have a talk. s13 :) this is a long one, so part of it is going under the cut! 

--------------

Things are strange. 

Of course, things are often strange in Castiel’s life, especially these days. For one, he just got brought back from the dead. For another, he rode in the passenger’s seat of the Impala on the way back to the bunker. Sam drove, because when Dean tried to drive, the baby in the backseat--Jack, that’s Jack--started crying, and Dean had to switch spots and let Jack’s tiny hand wrap around one of his fingers. Only then did Jack stop crying.

As soon as they got back to the bunker, Dean went to put Jack to bed, leaving Castiel in the kitchen with Sam. That’s where Castiel is now, watching Sam putter around, cleaning up things that don’t need to be cleaned. There’s clearly something on his mind.

“You and Dean should talk,” Sam finally says.

“We usually do talk,” Castiel replies, unsure of what, exactly, Sam means. 

“I mean, really talk. Look--” Sam stops, grabs two beers out of the fridge and slides one across the island to Castiel, before continuing. “Dean gets...things get bad for him when you’re gone. Without Jack to take care of, I think he would have...” Sam doesn’t finish the sentence, but Castiel has a feeling he knows where it was headed. 

“Is Jack always like that?” Castiel asks.

“Obsessed with Dean? Yeah. I mean, things are still kinda complicated with Mom, and I’m not great with kids, but Dean...” Sam sighs. “I mean, he had to take care of me constantly when I was a baby. He’s always been really good with kids, better at expressing himself. And he and Jack...I mean, if Dean’s not with him, Jack gets really upset.”

“Wow,” Castiel says. He remembers a few years ago, helping Claire out, and how quickly Claire and Dean cottoned onto each other. And stories he’s heard from before he knew the Winchesters (sometimes it’s hard to believe there was a time in his life before them) where kids had been involved on a hunt and Dean saved the day.

Perhaps it’s only natural.

“But yeah,” Sam takes a deep swig of his beer. “Go find him and talk. I bet Jack is asleep by now.”

“Right.”

Castiel still feels odd, wrong-footed, though. It should be easy to talk to Dean--Dean’s one of his best friends, someone he would do anything for, has done anything for. 

But he’s also Dean, someone who can be complicated and feels things deeply, and if he’s been feeling bad enough to contemplate--

Castiel doesn’t know what to say to that.

He finds Dean in his room, sprawled out on the bed with a sleeping Jack next to him. There are beer bottles and a couple of whiskey bottles littering Dean’s nightstand, an overflowing wastebasket in the corner.

Sam was right. Things haven’t been great. 

Dean’s eyes flutter open when he hears Cas enter and he sits up, saying softly, “I know sleeping with babies can be bad, cuz I read one of those books you got, but he just...” Dean turns his gaze to Jack. “He doesn’t go to sleep unless I do this.”

Castiel nods.

Dean carefully scoops Jack up and carries him over to the crib in the corner of the room. The whole scene is both painfully domestic and painfully Dean, and it causes something in Castiel’s chest to twinge. 

“But he’s out like a light now,” Dean says. “He’s already better at sleeping, it’s like he knows I don’t get much even without a crying baby.”

“Hm,” Castiel agrees. “Dean, can we talk?”

“Uh, sure? Let’s go somewhere else.” Dean takes one last look at Jack’s swaddled form and then leads Castiel out of his bedroom and to another room, which Cas has never been in before and is barren except for some armchairs and a foosball table.

“What’s this?” Cas asks as they settle into the armchairs.

“It’s...I dunno, a rec room or something. Thinking of putting a TV in here so we could watch movies. I’ve been calling it the Deancave and Sam has been getting annoyed with me.” Dean cracks a smile at a that. “Whaddya want to to talk about?”

“I, uh...” Castiel shrugs. “Sam just said I should talk to you.”

“Dirty traitor. Of course he did.” Dean frowns.

“We don’t have to if you don't want to, I just thought--”

“No, no, this’ll--I need to say this shit.” Dean swallows, before saying, “So, do you remember, about a year or so after we met, when we were trying to get the Colt back and gank Lucifer?”

“I do,” Castiel says, now completely unsure of where Dean is going with this.

“Well, I...I got zapped to the future. Or a future, I guess, by Zachariah. It was...2014 there, the world was overrun by this plague and zombies, Sam was...gone, he had said yes to Lucifer for good, and I met another version of myself who was...he wasn’t a great guy. Pretty cold and ruthless, willing to use people he cared about as bait or put them in harm’s way. He didn’t care about much anymore.” “I assume I wasn’t in this world?” Castiel asks.

“No, you were.” Now Dean looks genuinely pained. “You had lost almost all of your grace, and you spent your days...drinking and doing drugs and having sex. You had lost the trench coat and you were...different. You still thought I was pretty cool, though, and the other Dean, the Dean from that you’s time, he hated that.” 

“I see.” Something is coming into focus.

“You were Cas, but you weren’t my Cas,” Dean says, the emphasis on the my weighty.

“Was this the same night that you told me to never change?”

“Yeah,” Dean sighs. “It was. Something that the other you said, it just...it hit me. And I couldn’t let that happen to you, and I couldn’t let myself be the guy that made it worse. He said that the only thing you and that Dean had left was each other, that if the other me said it was time to go, then you would follow him. And I tried to talk to the future me about it, ask him why he was willing to put you in harm’s way just because you would follow him. He...he didn’t have an answer.”

“I have changed, though, Dean,” Castiel says after a moment. “And not in a bad way.”

“Yeah, but you coulda become that guy.” Dean’s fidgeting now, uncomfortable. “Anyways, after that it was...yeah. You know how things went, you were there. A lot of shit went down, and I tried not to think about that future I saw.”

“I see.”

There’s a vast, empty silence in the room as Castiel contemplates what Dean has told him. He wants to ask follow-up questions, figure out what, exactly, Dean means by what he’s said, but it’s rare that Dean is so open and calm about it, and Castiel doesn’t want to break the spell. He wants Dean to, what’s the phrase? Level with him. 

“And then we went to purgatory,” Dean continues suddenly. “And I spent a year looking for you and found you all dirty and scruffy--you still had that trench coat but you looked like him. I was...starting to realize something, I guess? I mean, Benny helped me find you, and one night we were just hanging out, doing stuff, and he asked me what my deal was about you. I told him, I said you were one of my best friends, hell, just straight-up my best friend.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said I was full of shit, that no one spends a year in purgatory for a friend. I told him to shut the hell up, but he was right.”

This isn’t happening. This would never happen, because Castiel has heard that it won’t. The Empty’s words from when he was dead echo in his head.

I know who you hate. I know who you love. There is nothing for you back there.

But maybe there is.

“There isn’t any use in trying to hide it from you,” Dean says. “You saw all the bottles. Every time you leave...I tell myself it’s because you’re like family, and you are, but not quite--” 

Castiel is tired of waiting, tired of having a weight lodged in his chest, and he hates how agitated and small Dean looks, so before he can fully think out what he’s doing, he’s standing up and then leaning over Dean’s chair, his face inches from Dean’s.

He waits.

“There’s--there’s no way,” Dean says, breathless. 

“There is.” Castiel swallows, hopes he hasn’t miscalculated.

He determines a moment later when Dean seizes him by his collar and pulls him all the way down into a kiss that he did not, in fact, miscalculate. 

It’s clumsy and messy, because of the angle and the nerves and all of the waiting, but Castiel doesn’t particularly care, and he’s getting the impression that Dean doesn’t, either. 

“Please don’t leave again,” Dean whispers into Castiel’s neck when they finally separate.

“I won’t,” Castiel promises. “Although I still can’t promise to never change.”

“That’s a good thing,” Dean replies. “I know that. Now.” 

Castiel doesn’t sleep, but when Dean finally heads back to his room to check on Jack and then try and get his four hours, Dean grabs Castiel by the trench coat sleeve. He stays, takes the pair of pajamas Dean sheepishly offers, finds himself curled around Dean in the big bed that doesn’t seem so big anymore. Neither Dean or Jack wake up all night. 

Castiel may not sleep, but he does sink into a fairly deep meditative state in the quiet darkness of Dean’s room. He “comes to” an indeterminate amount of time later to see that the room is empty, save him, and that all the bottles and trash are gone.

He pads into the hallway, still in that pair of Dean’s pajamas, and hears voices coming from the kitchen. He follows them to find Sam sitting at the table, talking to Dean, who’s standing at the stove with Jack swaddled and wrapped to his chest. Castiel feels his face reddening as his chest expands, and he makes a beeline for the table and sits across from Sam.

“I see you had that talk,” Sam whispers, grinning. 

“We did.” Castiel can’t help but smile back.

“Anyone not want bacon?” Dean asks from the stove, and Castiel and Sam both shake their heads. 

Castiel could get used to this, and he hopes he gets the chance to. 

[weilongfu]

For the Quick Spring Fling Prompt Spam Week(end) thing, could you maybe write something for Cutie Pie and UWMA, where Lian has some event and Kuea and Kon-Diao run into Team and Win (and possibly Manaow, Pharm, & Dean)? I just somehow feel they would get along and would be interested in seeing your take on it!

Or alternatively continue on with your fic “Theo (and Akk) go to Camp” perhaps just something about their daily lives at camp, I just really loved that one.

Looking forward to whatever, since your writing style is super engrossing!

Well I technically am continuing Theo (and Akk) Go to Camp with... an actual plot even. So you'll just have to wait a bit on that. But here's some Cutie Pie x UWMA crossover.

------

As Kuea had always been offered a choice on attending such formal events and Lian had no choice but to attend and properly represent his family, Kuea chose to stick to Lian's side like glue during the exceptionally lavish business dinner hosted by both his family and Lian's. Not out of a lack of proper manners or station, but out of not remembering most of the important families and Lian was all too happy to remind him which ones had done extensive business with his or Lian's families and which ones he was to avoid. Diao found himself in a similar situation, stuck to Yi. Although Diao was more likely to be lost in the sea of bodies than forgetful of any important people. Yi was particularly loathe to lose Diao that night regardless and so it all worked out.

Slowly, Lian and Kuea made the appropriate rounds as civility and formality dictated. Kuea smiled appropriately, held on to Lian's arm with just the right amount of pressure, and gave the appropriate generalities.

In short, it was exactly the kind of thing Kuea hated and Lian knew it. But Kuea played his role and Lian squeezed his hand in recognition and support. In between greetings, should time allow, there was even a kiss to Kuea's knuckles and that alone encouraged Kuea to see the party to the end.

"God, when will the Medthanans stop asking me to sell the property in downtown Bangkok to them?" Kuea moaned as Lian found them a quiet corner to rest.

"Until Tin stages a hostile takeover, I believe," Lian said with a sly grin while brushing Kuea's hair out of his face. "Anyway, there's not too many more people we have to greet immediately, then we can sit down and start eating."

"Oh thank god." Kuea straightened his back and dusted off his jacket to catch sight of another two couples heading their way. "Ah! Hia Win and P'Dean!" Lian frowned, only slightly, at the mention of the two slightly younger businessmen, but turned to acknowledge them regardless.

"Dean, Win," Lian said with a tilt of his head. He then turned to the younger men attached to their arms. "And these are N'Pharm and N'Team. It's good to see you both again. I didn't see you at the last party, if I recall correctly?"

"Hia Lian," Pharm said with a wai. "It's good to see you again too. And with Kuea tonight!" Pharm waved at Kuea happily. "I saw your newest song on YouTube! It was great!"

Kuea smiled, a genuine one, before waving off the complement. "It still feels a bit rough..."

"When are you going to release a proper album?" Team asked as he leaned in. "If you do, let me get a signed copy!" Lian and Win coughed at the same time and Team backed off with a pout. "What? We're friends! I'm allowed to ask a friend for a favor!"

Before Win could speak up, Kuea laughed and waved it off. "Of course I can give you guys signed CDs. Hia Lian has helped me get in touch with a few producers. I'll let you know when the appropriate deals are made."

Pharm and Team gave each other a quick high five before fist bumping Kuea. Dean pinched Pharm's cheek before giving him a small smile. "Mission accomplished?"

"P'Deaaaaan! You know I came here for more than just to ask Kuea for his autograph!"

"You came here for the food," Dean said while nodding sagely. "Let's get you to your seat before you miss the first course."

"P'Dean!"

Win chuckled as well. "It was good to see you both again, Lian, Kuea. Send me a message when your album deal is worked out. This one..." Win flicked the back of Team's head causing him to yelp. "Is probably going to forget since he's been so busy with swim practice. But I'll make sure everything gets to him."

"Hiaaaa!" Team whined. "Don't make me sound so uncool."

"I don't have to do anything," Win teased. "You do it on your own so well. Now let's go eat before you whine some more."

The most recent visitors gone, Lian began tugging Kuea in the direction of their table. "And that's everything off our initial checklist. Well done, Nu-Kuea." Lian turned around quick enough to give Kuea a peck on the cheek. "Now we can eat too."

"Hia..."

Lian's lips quirked up in a smile that Kuea was now very familiar with. "Don't worry. I'll reward you properly later."

"I wasn't thinking about that!"

[idreamofplaid]

Healing

Summary: The life of a hunter is hard, loving a hunter may be harder, but love is greater than than all that.

Character: Dean x Reader; Sam mentioned

Word Count: 2196

A/N: Still fleshing out my Masterlist with another fic from my docs.

Dean walked into your room a tattered and bloody mess. You looked up from the book you had been pretending to read while you waited for him to return. It wasn’t easy loving a hunter. The fear was always there, the fear that this would be the time he didn’t come back. It lurked in the corners of your mind. It sat cold and icy in the pit of your stomach. It squeezed your heart when he was late and you hadn’t heard from him, squeezed it to the point you thought you couldn’t breathe.

Even covered in blood as he was, the sight of him sent relief flooding through you. A new fear replaced the former. He was home, but he was hurt. Where was his injury? How bad was it? Why was there so much blood? Your book fell from your hands, and you went to him. 

"Dean, what happened? You started peeling the layers off him. Jacket, plaid shirt, t-shirt. You removed every layer. His armor of plaid flannel hadn’t been enough. The scratches were all over his chest, shoulders, stomach, and arms. Some of them were deep, deeper than you had seen before, and you struggled with yourself to stay calm. You needed to take care of him.  

"Werewolves,” he told you through gritted teeth. “There was a pack of werewolves right in our backyard, and we missed it." He sat down heavily on the bed, and put his head in his hands. "We missed it, Y/N. How the hell did we miss it?”

"Dean, you can't take care of every single monster in the world. That’s not on you.” You understood his need to make things right, at least as many things as he could.   

“Some of these wounds are bad, honey. You're going to need stitches.” Internally, you breathed a sigh of relief. You could do that. Stitches would make it okay. He was safe.

You went to the sink to wet a cloth and came back to sit on the bed beside him. Carefully, you started to wash off the blood, beginning with his chest. You talked to him while you cleaned him up. He’d told you once that hearing your voice made the world right for him and made him forget about the pain.

“Where’s Sam? Does he look like you do?” Sam was okay. You knew that, or Dean wouldn’t have left him. Still, you needed to hear him say it. Sam was the brother you had always wanted, and you loved him; but you couldn’t bear to think of what it would do to Dean if anything happened to him.

You cleaned the blood from his anti possession tattoo while Dean gave you the update on Sam. “He went back to his room. He’s got some scratches, but not this many and not deep. I got in a pretty serious tangle with a mean werewolf.” Dean gave you a half hearted smile. He was trying not to let it show just how much it hurt, but you could tell from the way he was breathing. Dean always put on a brave face for you, and you never let on that you saw right through every one of them. 

After getting all the blood off, you headed for your duffle to grab the first aid kit. You brought it back and opened it on the bed next to him. This next part would sting. You poured alcohol onto some gauze and started dabbing the cloth on his wounds. Dean winced.

"I know it hurts. I'm sorry." Your hand stilled for a minute, and you leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips. 

When you pulled away, Dean was genuinely smiling. “You know how to take my mind off anything, don’t you?”

You smiled back at him. “Well, I try.”

Gently, you resumed applying alcohol to his wounds. Dean put his hand on yours where you were lightly tapping the alcohol soaked gauze to the scratches on his torso and looked at you with those green eyes you had fallen in love with. You had seen them every shade of green from the palest jade to the deepest green of the evening sea. Tonight they were dark, like a forest at twilight, and they were troubled.  

"Y/N, I don't want to keep coming home to you this way. I don't want you sitting up waiting for me, worrying if I'm alive or dead. You deserve a better life than that." You saw him swallow, and the pain in his expression was worse than anything the werewolf had done to him.

You moved to his shoulder and kept right on cleansing his wounds. "Dean, I do worry about you; I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I don't want to see you get hurt, but I know it's part of what you do. It's part of who you are. You make the world safer; that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. I don't dwell on what could happen to you. Does it scare me? Of course it does, but I focus instead on knowing that you want me to be the one here to stitch you up when you’re done fighting whatever evil thing it is you had the courage to confront.”

A smile danced around the corners of your lips, turning them up. “And who says I was waiting for you because I was worried? Maybe I was waiting for you for another reason.”  He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and shook his head with a chuckle.

Dean cupped the side of your face in his hand and brushed his thumb over your cheek. "You really are perfect for me." 

You kissed him, slowly with just the right amount of tease and a promise of what was to come later. When the kiss ended, you held his eyes for a few seconds before turning your attention back to the task at hand. 

"Now, let me take care of these stitches." You selected the suture needle you wanted from the first aid kit and skillfully sewed up the gashes on his shoulder and side. You had done this more than you liked to think about, and practice made you good. It was one of the first things Dean had taught you, but you still hated it. You knew it had to hurt even when he didn't let it show, and his pain always hurt you too.  

You kissed every spot where you had placed stitches when you were done and told him. "Go get a shower then come to bed. If you aren't too tired, I'll show you why I was waiting up for you."

You took off your clothes and climbed under the sheets. Even if Dean was too tired for sex, you wanted to feel his naked body against yours. You needed to hold him close and feel his arms around you.

When he walked out of the bathroom wearing just a towel, you took a good, long look. It was still hard at times to believe this man was yours. His lips made you think of the dirtiest things. What he could do with those lips....  They made you think of the sweetest things too, like the things he whispered in your ear, or the way he sometimes kissed the tip of your nose.

"Drop the towel, Dean, and come here.” He was quick to do exactly what you said, and you marveled again at the strength and masculine beauty of his body. It felt even better than it looked when it was pressed against yours.

You welcomed him into your arms, and the  kiss you gave him was sweet and lingering with just enough of an invitation in it he could pursue it if he wanted to, and he did. He was on top of you pinning you to the mattress with his body, and his lips were claiming yours, needing yours.  

You threaded your fingers through his hair and gently bit his bottom lip. "I want you just the way you are Dean Winchester. Every single scar belongs to me. Every one of them. YOU belong to me. 

His erection twitched against your stomach. You had touched yourself while he was in the shower with his name on your lips, preparing yourself for him. Your body was more than ready to feel the sweet stretch of him inside you. 

You opened your legs for him, and he entered you slowly and smoothly. The feel of him, so perfectly joined to you this way had you dropping your head back against the pillow and biting your bottom lip. Dean moved with a slow and steady rhythm, increasing his speed gradually. As his thrusts got deeper and faster, your urge to scratch your nails down his back got stronger. You didn't, not tonight. There were already scratches on his back that you didn't put there. If you added your own scratches over them, it wouldn't be a pleasurable pain.  

You held onto the back of his neck instead, whispering his name and encouragement in his ear. Your orgasm was right on the brink of tearing through you, but you held back because you wanted to come with him. You knew it wouldn't be long; his thrusts had become erratic. Dean moaned your name loudly, and you felt the release of his hot seed inside you. That's when you let yourself go to fall over the edge with him.

Afterwards, he held you stroking his hand slowly up and down your back. "Y/N, do you ever think about having kids?" You listened, almost holding your breath; you hadn't expected this."I mean, is it something you want?" He turned his head so he could see you better.

You didn’t respond right away, weighing your answer. This subject had never come up before. "I've thought about it. Is it something you want, Dean?"

He was slow with his answer too and sighed before he spoke. "Yeah. I want kids. I probably think about it more than I should because I wouldn't be a very good father.”

You moved yourself on top of him, so you could look right down into his eyes. "Why do you say that, Dean?"

His hand had stopped moving on your back. All of his attention was focused on you, and the look in his eyes was heartbreaking. "I didn't have much of a role model in that department. I don't know how to be a father."

You ran your fingers through the hair above his temple. "Dean, you practically raised Sam. He's told me about it. You read to him. You put bandaids on his scrapes. You helped him with his homework.” Dean’s eyes had changed, the hard edge of pain in them softened by your words. “I could go on. You would be an amazing father. You’re great with kids. Not only would you be an incredible father, you're meant to be one."

Now, the look in his eyes was nothing short of wonder. “You really think that?”

“Yes, I do. You’re a natural.” You kissed him with a brush of your lips over his. Sometimes Dean understood physical affection in a way he didn’t accept words. 

He slowly opened his eyes after your mouth moved away from his. "Do you think that could work, having kids, living the way we do?” he asked. There was a touch of hope in his voice that you rarely heard there, but he still needed more reassurance. “I'm gone so much, and I would never want my kid to see me bloody the way you did tonight."

You told him what he needed to hear with the conviction of truly believing what you were saying to him. "Between you, me, and Sam someone would always be here to take care of the baby. We're a family. Families do that. And our child won't see you bloody. We can control things like that, Dean." 

The things you had told him were sinking in, and you gave him a little time before you took your pointer finger and started playing with his bottom lip. "Do you want to get me pregnant, Dean?"

"You mean like now?" You weren’t sure if he was surprised, scared, eager, or maybe all three.

You kissed along the scratches on his chest, wanting to replace all the pain he’d ever felt with something more gentle and more beautiful, something he deserved. "Well, I would have to stop taking birth control first, but yes pretty much now."

When you raised up to look at him, Dean put his hands on each side of your face, brought your lips down to his, and kissed you. "I love you, Y/N."

You loved him too. The complexity of who he was had brought a richness to your life and fulfilled you in a way you hadn’t imagined possible. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t a fairy tale. It was something better. Real. You would happily spend your life healing his wounds, the ones on the outside and the ones that were harder to see.

Everything: @gambitwinchester​ @princessmisery666​ @peridottea91​ @emilyshurley​ @beenlovingromansincedayoneish​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @waywardbaby​ @atc74​ @mariekoukie6661​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @terrarium-jpeg​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crashdevlin​ @jules-1999​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @sammyimpala-67​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @timelordy-fangirl2​ @sweetness47​ @hobby27​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @becs-bunker​ @sandlee44​ @supernaturalgrandma​ @volleyballer519​ @kdfrqqg​ @lizette50​ @sorenmarie87​ @lovealways-j​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @spnbaby-67​ @wayward-and-worn​ @asthesunwentdown​ @vulgar-library​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @petit

 Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee​ @flamencodiva​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @ellewritesfix05​ @weepingwillowphoenix​ 

[jensenswinchester]

I’ve Got You

Square: Cuddling Pairing: Dean x Reader Word Count: 2352 Warnings: If cuddling Dean Winchester is a warning, then you’ve been warned. Lil’ bit of angst but lotta bit of fluff! Summary: When Dean loses control during a hunt, Y/N makes sure he knows he’s not alone. A/N: For @spnmixedbingo​ and @spnfluffbingo​!

Over the years, Y/N witnessed the many sides of Dean Winchester, but she wasn’t prepared to see him so torn up and uneasy now that he bore the Mark of Cain. He thought she didn’t notice the flinches, winces, and the grabs at his arm. It was no secret that the Mark was affecting him somehow. She heard him tossing and turning in the room next to hers at night, she saw the longing stares at the bottles of liquor. The Mark made him terrifying when he needed to be, but he was the most vulnerable when he was alone with his thoughts. Dean wanted to create space between them, he knew he could snap at any minute and the thought of hurting Y/N because of the Mark he asked for made him sick.

It was a particularly rough day. Dean lost control again during the hunt, leaving Sam and Y/N bewildered as they stared at the man, First Blade in his shaking hands. Y/N wanted nothing more than to run to his side, to wrap him in her arms and remind him that he was still the greatest man she knew, but the sight of the blade made her stomach turn. Dean had created so much distance between himself and his girl that she wasn’t even sure he’d welcome her embrace.

“Dean, drop the blade,” Sam urged, trying to remain calm so as not to alarm his brother.

“Dean, you’re okay. It’s over,” Y/N soothed, her voice shaking. Sam put his arm out to keep her behind him.

Dean began to come to, snapping out of whatever daze he was in. He blinked his eyes a few times, looking around the room at the slaughtered vampires and their victims. He looked down at his hands, seeing all the blood covering his skin and his clothes. He dropped the Blade as if it were on fire, burning his skin to the touch.

“Kick it over to me, Dean.”

Dean looked up at his brother, slowly getting to his feet and nudging the Blade in Sam’s direction with his foot, refusing to look at Y/N before leaving the warehouse and making his way to Baby. Sam shrugged off his flannel and bent down to pick up the Blade, wrapping it in his shirt.

“Sam, what do we do? He hasn’t had the Mark that long and it already has a hold on him.”

“For now, we keep this blade far away from him. Without the temptation of the blade maybe it’ll calm down enough for us to figure out a better plan.”

“How are we going to keep it from him? You know Dean, if he wants something, he gets it.”

“Leave it to me, for now let’s get him home and I’ll take care of it.”

Y/N nodded, following Sam out of the warehouse. They found Dean attempting to clean himself up, though he was still covered in now-dried blood and his skin was stained red. 

“Hey Dean, how about I drive and you try to get some rest. Y/N can sit up front with me and you can take the back seat to stretch out. We’ll be home soon and then you can clean up properly.”

As if still in a daze, Dean gave a brief nod before climbing into the back seat, passing the keys to Sam before making himself comfortable. Y/N sighed quietly, getting into the passenger’s seat beside Sam as he started the engine, driving them back to the Bunker.

The ride was quiet, Dean having passed out sooner than expected. Y/N was fighting sleep, too anxious about Dean to allow herself to rest. Her heart ached for the older hunter. Simply put, she missed him. She never expected him to ask for a break or space from their relationship. All she wanted to do was help him through this mess but all he wanted to do was keep her safe. He didn’t care that she trusted him with her life; he didn’t trust himself with it while bearing the Mark. 

When Baby pulled into the garage, Sam gently shook Dean awake, throwing his hands up in defense when his brother shot up alarmed. 

“Dean it’s just us, we’re home. Let’s get you inside, yeah?” Dean climbed out of the back seat and stormed into the Bunker, leaving Sam and Y/N to carry in the bags. 

“I guess he remembered what happened and now we have grumpy Dean.” Sam looked down at Y/N, giving her a sad smile.

“Listen, I know you two are on a little break, but I can’t comfort him the way you can, and I know my brother, and I know right now he’s hurting, he’s confused, and he’s upset with himself. He may not want to admit it but he does need you, way more than he’s ever let on.”

“I don’t want to disrespect his wishes, Sam.”

“I know, but I’m telling you, he needs you. Go on, I’ll grab the bags.” He gave her a gentle nudge in the Bunker door’s direction, chuckling as she made her way into the underground fortress.

Y/N followed the twists and turns of the hallway until she got to her bedroom, finding Dean’s door closed next to hers. She knocked on his door, turning the knob when she didn’t hear a response. The man was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor with his hands on his thighs.

“Dean…? Can I run you a bath? Help you clean up?”

“No,” he answered gruffly, still refusing to meet her eyes. 

“Dean, you asked for space. I’m giving you space, but I never agreed to not take care of you, especially when you need it. You take care of everyone else, let yourself be taken care of for once.” Dean didn’t budge and Y/N pursed her lips, going to his dresser and pulling out a henley and sweatpants. “You seem to have forgotten that I don’t take no for an answer, so let’s go.”

Dean rolled his eyes and got up, following Y/N to the bathroom down the hall. She handed him the clothes she picked out, stopping outside the bathroom door. “My aromatherapy body wash is under the sink if you’d like to use it. Always calms me down after a rough day. If you need anything, holler.” She watched him enter the bathroom before going back to her room to change into her pajamas and unpack her duffel. She finished getting ready for bed at the sink in the corner of her room, waiting to hear Dean come down the hall and enter his room. She had no idea how she was going to approach the situation, she just knew she needed to do something to make sure Dean knew he wasn’t alone in dealing with the Mark.

She was packing her duffel away when she heard Dean’s footsteps coming closer to her room before he entered his own. She gave him a few minutes to get settled, taking the time to handle her nerves. What the hell was she nervous about? This was Dean, her man, there was no reason to be this nervous. She took a deep breath before knocking on his bedroom door, hearing an agitated grunt as a response. She rolled her eyes and pushed the door open, finding Dean in the same position as earlier, sitting on the edge of his bed and staring at the floor. His damp hair was standing up in every direction, indicating he had run his fingers through it a ridiculous amount of times while he stewed in his irritation.

“Dean,” she sighed, closing the door behind her.

“Y/N,” he grunted, turning his head away from her. She shook her head, crossing the distance between the doorway and his bed. “Y/N, no-“

She ignored his protests, straddling his thighs and sitting down on his lap. When he refused to meet her gaze, she cupped his cheeks and gently turned his head, making his pretty olive eyes lock with hers. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he huffed, though it was easy to see that his guard was slowly crumbling down. Y/N smiled, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She kissed his temple, resting her cheek against his as she held him, his body tense against hers.

“Dean, you can hug me back.”

“Don't wanna hurt you,” he mumbled, mostly talking into her shoulder.

“You won’t hurt me, and even if you do, you taught me how to defend myself. I could take you.”

“Not a chance.”

“Dean Winchester, if you don’t hug me back, I will tickle you. And don’t you dare say you aren’t ticklish, I’ve heard you squeal like a little girl if someone so much as pokes your side wrong.”

“Y/N you’re such a pain,” Dean huffed again, limply wrapping his arms around her waist.

“You can do better than that.” Dean rolled his eyes, tightening his hold on her. “I’m supposed to be your pain, Dean.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his body starting to relax. He buried his face in her shoulder, Y/N rocking them from side to side carefully. 

“You don’t have to do this alone, Dee. Sam and I, we want to help you. Any way we can. And don’t you even try to say you can handle it on your own. I know you can, you’re the strongest man I know, but this? This isn’t something anyone should have to do alone, nor is it something you deserve.”

“Yes I do,” he whispered. “I’ve done terrible things-“

“Darling, the amount of good you’ve done surely outweighs anything bad you’ve ever done. You’ve saved so many lives, Dee. You stopped the apocalypse. You saved the literal world. You don’t deserve anything less than everything good this world has to offer. You’re not a bad person, Dean. I’m not just saying that. I genuinely believe your heart is good. None of us would be here without you.”

“I’m scared.” The words tasted foreign on his tongue. Dean was never one to discuss his feelings, not liking to be vulnerable. Y/N and Sam were the exceptions, he felt comfortable sharing some of his feelings with them, but he’d never told anyone he was scared before.

“It’s okay to be scared, Dean. It’s a scary Mark and a scary burden to bear. But you don’t have to face it alone.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, his grip continuing to tighten as he held onto Y/N, almost for dear life. He hated that he pushed her away to cope on his own and now he desperately wanted her back. He nudged his face further into the crook of her neck, his fingers squeezing the material of her pajama top.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” she pulled back slightly, kissing his forehead. “How about we lay down yeah? You need to get some sleep, babe.”

Dean nodded, letting go of Y/N so they could crawl into his bed. She scooted behind him, spooning him, Dean sinking back against her front. She reached for his right hand, interlocking their fingers and squeezing softly. She looked down at the Mark on his arm and cringed. “Does it hurt?”

“Feels like when you have pins and needles and sunburn all at the same time,” he winced. He pulled their interlocked fingers up to his chest, holding her hand over his heart tightly. Y/N smiled, dipping her head down to press a soft kiss to the back of his neck. He shuddered in her hold, smiling to himself as he tucked himself under her chin.

“I told you you’re ticklish,” she teased. 

“Felt nice though, made me relax.” Y/N smiled, nuzzling her nose at the back of his neck. “I love you, you know.”

“I know Dean, I love you, too. Every inch of your stubborn ass.”

“I was trying to be cute.”

“You don’t have to try, you just are,” she giggled. “But seriously, please don’t push me away, babe. I’m here for you, I’ve got you, always. I want to help in any way I can.”

Dean melted in her embrace, relaxing against her. “I just don’t want to hurt you, sweetheart. The Mark, it takes over sometimes and I don’t want you to be the one that gets hurt because of it.”

“Dean…I know you’re trying to protect me, and I appreciate that and love that about you…but maybe you need to let me and Sam try to protect you for a bit. Just until you get a handle on the Mark and learn to understand it better.”

Dean brought their interlocked hands from his chest to his lips, kissing the back of her hand before turning over in her arms to face her. “If it gets to be too much for you, I need you to promise me you’ll walk away.”

“Dean-“

“Y/N, I’m serious. If I agree to this, I need to know that when it gets too dangerous, you’ll be safe. Promise me.”

Y/N stared into Dean’s eyes, those pretty green orbs always able to say what he wouldn’t allow himself to voice out loud. The worry was evident, but the love was enough to make her heart stop in her chest. She knew she could never actually walk away from him when he needed her most, but if it made him feel better to hear her say it, she could give him that much.

“Y/N-“

“I promise, Dean.” She brushed her lips against his in a soft kiss, sealing the deal.

“Thank you,” he sighed with relief, pulling her impossibly closer. He showered her cheeks in kisses, making her squeal and squirm as his days-old scruff tickled her skin. “Missed this.”

“Missed you.”

“Well played,” he hummed, combing his fingers through her hair as she snuggled into his chest. “Remind me never to do that again.”

“Oh trust me, Winchester. I will.”

Tagging: @lyarr24​ @gia-25​ @waywardrose13​

[astermacguffin]

Sorry for churning out another self-indulgent AU that will take me forever to work on, but I'm obsessed with the concept of a destiel enemies-to-lovers logician AU. (Yes I already have a joenicky/kaysanova version of this and frankly I don't care lol)

LISTEN. I know it's more popular to put Dean in professions that get his hands involved (mechanic, baker, etc.) rather than very conceptual/academic professions BUT. Dean would absolutely love the elegant simplicity of formal logic.

Easy, guaranteed, and clear-cut answers that you get out of following simple rules? Dean would LOVE that after having such a difficult and complicated life.

I think Dean would specialize in the large family of modal logics, specifically deontic logic—the logic of obligations. Dean "miserable pile of familial obligations" would unfortunately enjoy this field. (No, he won't be an ethicist because he has fucked up ethics; moral philosophy won't fix him. Maybe some therapy and gay sex will.)

Castiel, on the other hand, is a logician/theologian/metaphysicist. He went to college for a religious studies degree but it turns out he likes the application of logic in God-talk more than the God-talk itself, so he switched specializations. He's one of the leading scholars in process theology, liberation theology, and the controversies surrounding S5 modal logics and the modal ontological argument.

So. Dean and Cas are both modal logicians with different specializations. Here's what happens:

They both have presentations for a logic conference the next day, so they go to a bar to unwind and maybe get laid.

They meet, have a one-night stand, and part ways.

Turns out they're both attending the same conference. They're not fully convinced with each other's ideas. Their playful bickering in the snacks table eventually devolves into a full-on fight. Someone has to physically restrain them.

Their rivalry eventually gets notorious in academic circles. They perform "academic fistfights" by constantly writing critical response papers to each other's works. There's wikipedia articles documenting their extensive history of flirt-fighting and the surprising amount of new literature written because of their public feud.

To be clear, they're not writing garbage work just to dunk on each other. They're genuinely contributing to the academic discourse. But if you look at their bibliography of works, the staggering amount of stuff they've written about or in response to the other is...alarming.

Absolutely no one discourages their fights because (1) it's entertaining and (2) it's producing a godawful amount of insightful literature. There's bets about when they're going to fuck it out (because no one knows about their one-night stand except maybe Sam, who finds this entire thing stupid but amusing).

One time, they get drunk in an afterparty. Cue some aggressive and very homoerotic banter. This eventually devolves into an elaborate game of gay chicken. Whoever gives up first must write an article where they support the thesis of the other.

They're both "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" at each other. They constantly flirt and seduce one another, waiting for the other one to finally give in. They do this in conferences as well.

Fellow logicians almost prefer the shouting and near fist-fights over their very inappropriate flirty banter in public. No one dares ban them in events because (1) again, they're entertaining, and (2) they're big-name academics.

Since they're both fucking competitive, they constantly try to one-up each other. They ask each other to go out in dates and stuff. Eventually, they start to genuinely learn things about each other and go "huh. You're not so bad after all."

When they first collaborate and publish their joint work, everyone loses their mind. Are they friends now? Did they finally fuck? Both of them find the reactions very amusing.

Eventually, they start hanging out outside of their competitive dates and simply as friends. They still haven't kissed or fucked ever since. When they first both realize that they're falling in love, they're like: "Shit."

Unfortunately, they're in too deep. These bastards are too prideful to be the one to admit their feelings. Both Dean and Cas talk to their brothers about this. They're both told how stupid they are.

This all comes to a head when Cas finally gives in and fucks Dean. Cas is about to confess his feelings when Dean starts chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Cas asks. "Well, I mean. Guess I should expect that article soon, right?" Dean says in an attempt to hide his fears with playful banter. Cas squints at him. "What article?"

Dean stammers in response. "I–you know? The bet we made? The bet that started it all? That's... that's what this is all about, right?"

Cas' face shuts off, devoid of emotion. "Right. Yes. Why don't you leave now so I can start writing that, hmm?" The smile on his face is big, but Dean knows it's fake and wrong.

"Cas, wait—" "DEAN. Please. Leave my apartment." Reluctantly, Dean dresses up for his walk of shame, leaving the apartment.

The next morning, the article comes out. It's short and not written very well. Everyone is confused about the sudden drop in quality.

They stop writing response works to each other, which alerts the entire academic community. They also visibly avoid each other in conferences now. Their fellow academics take it back: they would prefer the insufferably horny flirting over this cold, silent treatment. Everyone feels the tension and it's not as lively anymore.

Cas is miserable because he thinks his feelings are unrequited. Dean feels miserable because Cas has since stopped replying to his texts and calls.

In his last-ditch attempt to get through Cas, Dean writes a celebratory primer, summarizing Cas' entire bibliography and important contributions to the field throughout his entire career. Interspersed in the writing are personal reflections on Cas' character as a thinker and a person, as well as little in-jokes meant only for Cas' eyes. It's the most sappy and gayass bibliographic summary ever written.

Cas, of course, reads this and understands the intent behind it. He finally calls Dean, they meet, they hash things out, admit their feelings, and finally kiss. Yada yada happy ending

Later on, when they finally publish their first joint work as a married couple, everyone loses their minds. Again.