#maybe my social skills are rusty

[giraffefeather]

I love/hate random encounters on the street.

Walked to the grocery store for some bread flour, and did that awkward white person smile and nod (you know the one) at someone walking the opposite direction.

He then says, "You're hot, hope you have a nice day."

And I did not process this fast enough, replied with an automatic, "thank you, you too" and continued walking.

[laikahh]

youreaddictedtolonelinessand desperationitsthestrongestemotionyouveeverknownsoyoursubconscioustellsyouthatitsyourdestiny.com/careers

[sometimesraven]

re: the ableism in Dot and Bubble

I understand it almost certainly wasn't Rusty's intention for the "can't walk without the arrows" thing to be ableist, but the implications are there and it was so, so hard to watch.

As I said while liveblogging, I've noted that reliance on tech like Google Maps has caused a regression in skills like navigation and a frustrating refusal to even try. I'm frequently faced with that fact as I live somewhere you have to use your eyes to see and most fast food delivery drivers just Cannot Find Us bc the GPS goes wild and they can't follow the directions I always give them so I inevitably have to go out to find them myself. Believe me, I know what he was going for with that part of the script.

However.

When you exaggerate that point to the tune of "she literally cannot walk" without the aid, and then instead of it being deeply disturbing to the two 'kind, helpful' characters (Doc n Ruby), they actively roll their eyes at her and it's played as an "omg how stupid is she" moment, you have to see how that looks.

Let's reframe it: someone you've met was raised in a cult. A very insular, very strict cult that they literally have never seen outside of. At this point in time you know nothing about them but you do know they're in a very insular, very closed-off society. One day they tell you they have no idea how to,,,,,, idk, wash themselves without assistance. If your first instinct is to laugh at them and roll your eyes like they're overexaggerating, you're an ableist.

I struggle to believe anyone like the Doctor wouldn't perhaps initially react with confusion/incredulity but then, after realising this person is 100% serious, go "oh my god that's horrible okay uh let me try to walk you through this and teach you how".

It's a horrible, cynical response that would maybe track if at this point the characters already knew she was an entitled pissbaby. But they don't and that's why it comes across so terribly.

Especially when there's no indication that this is a side-effect of her entitlement and she's literally insulting herself "I'm so stupid!" and genuinely upset and frustrated that she can't even walk in the face of actual death. And yes, she miraculously can walk again once she meets Ricky but it wasn't because she was ignoring the Doctor's advice because racism because he had not given her any. She had literally zero clue how to walk without assistance until Ricky guided her.

This isn't a refusal to learn a skill based on entitlement, this isn't a heavy-handed metaphor, you have given this girl a disability (even if it is psychosomatic, it is still a disability). And in a time where social media + youth entitlement is being blamed for an increase of ADHD, Autism, chronic illness and DID diagnosis-seekers (among other things, but those are the ones people are most aggressive against) that just does not look good At All.

Russel could easily have made it so that they just had no idea how to navigate without the bubble and refused to learn.

Maybe at first show it as genuine frustration on Lindy's part that she can't find anything without guidance but slowly show that no, she's perfectly capable, she just doesn't care to learn.

Hell, you could have everything play out the same way but have her genuinely get offered help to begin with by the Doctor and ignore it, only for Ricky to say the same thing to her later and she gets it immediately.

Idk, anything beyond literally disabling her. The show does a great job at humanising her before showing us that she was a monster all along, but I feel like Rusty himself forgot that he was still representing a Whole Entire Person (something that people on all ends of the political spectrum do All The Time: "person is bad therefore [___ism] is okay in this instance". Ableism especially)

[thana-topsy]

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

[wrightingdungeon]

Caught on Replay 3

Ok, I really like this story, like I have been thinking about this over Shane... SHANE!

MDNI - Chp1 / Chp2 / Chp4

Sighing softly as Harvey walked through the quiet morning streets, he couldn't stop replaying last week's events in his mind. He had completely fumbled his attempt to get closer to Farmer, his nerves getting the better of him at the worst possible moment. The memory of it made his cheeks flush with embarrassment all over again.

As he approached the museum, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open, stepping inside with a somewhat clear mind. The familiar scent of old books and polished wood greeted him, wrapping him in a sense of comfort he desperately needed. He walked quietly to the desk to return the book he had borrowed, exchanging pleasantries with Gunther.

Maybe he should take up the suggestion of a dating book while he was there, he thought as he wandered through the aisles. It had been a while since he'd even attempted to flirt with anyone, and his social skills were definitely rusty. The thought brought a wry smile to his face—Harvey, the town's doctor, seeking advice on matters of the heart from a paperback like it was an actual love doctor.

Stepping into the library section of the museum, Harvey glanced around the modest space. The library's selection wasn't vast; there was a comforting intimacy to its shelves. He scanned for titles that might shed light on overcoming awkward encounters. Finally, his eye caught a book by "Dr. Hakim" that seemed promising. With a nod to himself, he picked it up and headed towards one of the study tables tucked in a corner.

As he turned the corner, he froze in his tracks. There you were, sitting at a table near the window, your head resting in your palm as your eyes scanned the pages of a book lying flat in front of you. A mix of surprise and nervousness washed over him. He hesitated, unsure if he should approach you or quietly find another spot. But seeing you there, so engrossed in your reading, stirred something in him—a desire to make things right, to bridge the gap his mistakes had created.

Summoning his courage, he took a deep breath and walked over to your table. "Hey, Farmer," he greeted softly, hoping not to startle you.

You looked up, your eyes meeting his with a mix of curiosity and guardedness. "Oh, hi, Harvey," you replied, sitting up a bit straighter. "What's up?"

"Returning a book," he said, holding up the one he'd just picked out. "And, uh, looking for some new reading material."

You glanced at the book in his hand, a small smile playing on your lips. "Book of Love?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Harvey felt his face flush with embarrassment. "Yeah, well, I figured it couldn't hurt," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought I could use some pointers after, you know, last week."

Your smile softened, and you gestured to the seat across from you. "Wanna sit?" you offered.

Harvey nodded, grateful for the invitation. He sat down and placed the book on the table, feeling a bit more at ease. "What are you reading?" he asked, trying to make casual conversation.

You glanced at your book and then back at him. "Different kinds of nutrient mixes," you replied with a hint of enthusiasm. "I'm trying to up the quality of my harvest."

Harvey's interest was piqued. "That's really interesting. I've always admired how much effort you put into your farm," he said sincerely. "It must be rewarding to see the results."

You nodded, your eyes lighting up. "Oh, It is. There's something really satisfying about seeing a crop grow because of the care you put into it. But there's always room for improvement, and I'm always looking for ways to improve."

He smiled, chuckling softly. "I can understand that. Looks like we're both trying to find ways to improve, huh?"

You chuckled softly in return. "Yeah, I guess so. Different topics, but the same idea."

A moment of comfortable silence settled between you, the quiet rustling of pages and the soft sunlight filtering through the windows creating a serene atmosphere. Harvey shifted in his seat, his expression turning more serious as if grappling with something inside.

"I'm sorry," Harvey blurted out softly, setting his book down and meeting your gaze with earnest eyes.

"For what?" You looked genuinely puzzled, tilting your head slightly.

"For sounding like a jerk at the festival," Harvey admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

You sighed gently, closing your book with a thoughtful expression. "Harvey... It's okay."

"And for leaving without a word," he added, his voice tinged with regret. "I should have been more upfront with you."

A mix of emotions flickered across your face—frustration, longing, and a hint of sadness—as memories of that difficult time resurfaced. "Harvey... It wasn't just leaving. It was how you left."

Harvey sighed, his gaze momentarily dropping before meeting yours again. "I know. And I regret it. I was so focused on medical school, on trying to build a future... I thought it was the right thing to do."

"But what about us?" you asked softly, your voice tinged with hurt.

He hesitated, searching for the right words. "I thought... I thought it was best to let things settle. I... didn't handle it well, and I'm sorry."

The weight of unresolved emotions hung heavy in the air, mingling with the scent of old books and the faint murmur of distant voices. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Harvey, you didn't just leave. You disappeared. And I had to deal with the aftermath."

"I'm sorry," Harvey whispered, his voice heavy with remorse. "I... never meant for things to end up like that."

The honesty in his words touched you deeply, stirring up a mix of emotions you had long buried. "I know you didn't. But it hurt, Harvey."

Tentatively, he reached out, his hand hovering between you. "Can we... can we try to make things right?"

You met his gaze, seeing the sincerity and regret etched in his expression. A part of you wanted to push him away, to shield your heart from further pain. But another part—the part that still cared—yearned for closure, for a chance to heal old wounds.

Taking a leap of faith, you nodded slowly, reaching out to take his hand. "Maybe."

Harvey's eyes softened with gratitude, relief evident in his expression. "Thank you," he whispered, squeezing your hand gently.

The tension between you seemed to ease, replaced by a tentative sense of hope. For a while, neither of you spoke, content to sit in each other's presence, absorbing the quiet intimacy of the library.

Eventually, Harvey broke the silence, his voice soft but earnest. "I want you to know... I've never stopped thinking about you, about us."

You looked at him, your heart fluttering with a mix of emotions. "I haven't either," you admitted quietly. "It's just... After you left…. It was difficult."

"I know," he said softly, his gaze steady on yours. "And I'm truly so so sorry."

"I believe you," you replied honestly. "But I’m still mad at you."

Harvey nodded, his expression sheepish. "I understand. I feel like I deserve more than that."

The content silence settled between you again, time rolling on without a care. Soon you glanced at the clock on the wall and realized how much time had passed. "I should probably get back to the farm," you got up gathering your things.

Harvey nodded, a hint of reluctance in his eyes. "Of course. I don't want to keep you."

As you turned to leave, he followed suit, walking with you toward the museum's exit. Outside, the evening sun bathed the town in a warm glow, casting long shadows across the cobblestone streets.

"Harvey," you began hesitantly, turning to face him. "Would you... want to come over for dinner?"

Harvey's eyes widened slightly in surprise at your invitation, his heart skipping a beat at the unexpected offer. He hesitated for a moment, gathering his thoughts before responding.

"I... I'd like that," he replied softly, a hint of hopefulness in his voice. "I'd really like that."

A tentative smile touched your lips, relief, and nervousness mingling in your expression. "Great. Just... let me finish up a few things at the farm, and then you can come over. Say, in about an hour?”

Harvey nodded eagerly. "I'll be there."

[lil-ace]

Gift for @march-flowerr based on a scene in chapter 20 of lay bare the bones of the earth, (hopefully I managed to do it justice!) :

“Count us down,” Tommy instructs Joel, and then chirrups to Justified and takes off before he’s even started counting. Ellie screeches and digs her heels into Curry’s sides, leans over her saddle as her horse leaps forward. “You asshole!” They race across the plains, the distance closing between them till they’re neck to neck. Tommy’s laughing; he’s taken off his hat and has the brim of it clenched between his teeth, both hands woven tight into the reins as he hunches forward. He catches Ellie’s eye and smirks, and she calls him a fucking cheater and surges ahead. The ground flashes beneath her; ahead, the walls of Jackson grow closer, taller. The lupine tickles the side of her face, whipped into a frenzy by the wind. She feels - powerful, connected: to her horse, to her valley, to her people. Her family. She glances over her shoulder. Tommy waves at her, his hat in his hand. He shouts something she can’t hear, but she grins all the same. She beats them all home.

I want to thank March for everything that 'lay bare the bones of the earth' is, and what a lovely ride it's been to follow along for these past few months. Painting this over the weekend was a really emotional and fulfilling experience for me, and I got a lot to say about it, so I'll put it under the read more cut to not clog up people's dashes lol.

Art school genuinely made me lose passion for art. I got so burnt out creatively that I didn't draw for years after art school. Initially I feared I'd lost all my skills with how long I hadn't drawn anything and that anxiety only made me put off picking up a pen for even longer. But as I was slowly getting back into art, my skills were just fine (albeit a bit rusty) but I came to the realization I'd lost something worse: The burning passion to create. Making art was now boring. It didn't feel fun or meaningful like it used to. All of my art felt hollow, because I felt hollow. I had always used art as a means to express myself creatively, emotionally, and you used to be able to see that in my art. Art school ruined that, it turned art into a mechanical chore, something to be nit-picked apart, critiqued and verbally torn to shreds. It made me look down on everything I made as 'not good enough', look at all the flaws and mistakes. I no longer wanted to share my art with people, because I was so convinced that's all they'd see, too. It's something I'm still working on unlearning now.

A large part of getting back into art has been trying to make it feel fun again, which has been a bit of a struggle. So I figured if I can't feel happy just by making art, maybe if I involve my special interest in it (tlou), the joy I feel from engaging with my special interest would maybe rub off on drawing eventually. So I slowly started drawing tlou fanart, just for myself. While I've been in the fandom since the very beginning, I've never really interacted a ton with other people in the fandom, outside of leaving kudos on fics, maybe a comment if I could work up the courage for it (socially anxious autistic person over here). But one of my close friends finally convinced me to make a tumblr, try posting some art and connect with other tlou fans. I've been slowly dipping my toes in tlou tumblr and it's been a lovely experience so far.💖

Tlou fics have always been a great source of comfort for me, and reading lay bare the bones of the earth was such an emotional journey, one that made me cry multiple times (happy tears & sad tears!). But reading chapter 20 was something else. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's been living rent free in my head ever since. March's words painted such a beautiful picture. I just got this image stuck in my mind, of Tommy & Ellie racing through the lupine fields as the sun is setting behind them and I had this burning urge to paint it, a feeling I haven't had in years! Figuring out the composition, picking all the colors, trying to get Curry's Appaloosa spots right, it made me feel all giddy as I could see each step bringing it closer to completion. I feel like I finally got a little taste of the joy I had for art all those years ago. And I wouldn't have gotten to experience that had I not gotten to read lay bare the bones of the earth. I can't thank you enough for that March 🥺 You've created such a wonderful story, the way you portray emotions is so raw, your writing reminds me of a rainy summer's day in the best way. You are such an inspiration and I can't wait to see what you do next!

[theworldvsyoshiko]

Game setups I experimented with today:

#1: Post-apocalyptic nomad

Used mods to absolutely slather the map in ruins, with a lot of them from Real Ruins so they've got loot, but with the decay/prior looting settings also turned way up.

Cranked the pollution way up and the population density way down.

Planting crops is forbidden by the scenario.

Nomad ideoligion that gets upset if they maintain a colony for more than a season or so.

Also has the scrapper ideoligion from Vanilla Ideology Expanded, so they're great at salvage and don't mind hand-me-down clothes.

Wander from abandoned settlement to abandoned settlement, hunting animals and scavenging the useful stuff, then moving on.

This is a fun setup, but I'd need to find some way to complicate it, because it's a very... slice-of-life kind of playstyle by default. Since difficulty scales off of colony wealth, if you don't build a colony, the difficulty curve is pretty flat. If you move from map to map stripping them of valuables, even if that's just mining a bit of exposed gold/jade/silver and grabbing a few items, that adds up pretty fast. Unless you completely ignore traders, I think you'd be able to get a pretty decent endgame kinda loadout within a year or so. (Not like you're spending the money on much else, after all.) And you'd still be fighting naked guys with rusty axes, because of the wealth thing.

Ironically though, this has the exact opposite problem with wealth too: Real Ruins is happy to dump an entire endgame colony in your lap sometimes. The first map I got with this experiment immediately triggered the archonexus quest, because my faction was suddenly worth $400k all at once. This turned out to be because, for some fucking reason, there was a pile of like 900 persona cores just laying on the ground next to a heap of megascreen televisions. Real Ruins is a fascinating peek into other players' minds sometimes.

As far as larger goals go, the options would be like:

Try to, idk, circumnavigate the planet or something.

Try to wipe out all the pirates, or the empire, or somebody else who probably has it coming.

Get to the journey offer ship on foot, while collecting enough gear/friends on the way to actually defend it while it starts up.

#2 Monastery of the hedonic calculus monks

Disable the mech and insectoid factions.

Turn the storyteller's hostile death-on-downed chance way down.

Hospital, Hospitality, spaceport, and hot springs mods.

Ideoligion that forbids all non-defensive violence against people or animals, discourages meat-eating and leather clothes, requires the colony to maintain lots of healthcare facilities, and strongly requires charity.

The same ideoligion also promotes partying, social drugs, polyamory, and everyone wearing whatever they hell they want to wear (or don't want to wear.)

Must maintain a resort hotel and a hospital, both fully open to the public, in order to properly maximize pleasure.

All raiders must be taken alive if possible, given quality healthcare, and released.

Mod to allow diplomacy with pirate factions, so it's entirely possible to befriend them after patching up enough of their members who tried to kill you.

No war animals because that's barbaric.

This one's pretty fun, and I think it would actually make a surprisingly challenging run. A hospital + hotel is a lot of colony wealth that wouldn't be going toward anything useful. I think I'd probably have to turn the raid difficulty down a bit, unless I wanted the colony to have like 15 members, most of whom are good in a fight.

The main problem I have with it is the question of how to handle recruitment. Who would I be allowed to recruit? Having strong restrictions has proven to be a lot of fun, and clearly not just anybody has what it takes to be a vegetarian party monk. Maybe only allow people who have good medical or social skills and don't have any unpleasant traits or come from a horrible ideoligion. If I wanted to make it harder/more interesting, I could have (a/the) starting character be a mechanitor whose mechs handle the defense and most of the day-to-day work, with all of the other colonists dedicated to medicine and hospitality.

One side option could be allowing lots of people to join, but having strict guidelines and banishing anybody who breaches them. Or at least drop pod'ing them to a friendly settlement.

(Optionally I could also drop the 'party' part and just make them very nice pacifist monks, but I think it's important for every faction to be a little bit of a train wreck.)

[jamiewintons]

Told You So (Ariel Conroy/F!Reader)

Summary: Ariel has always told you that he keeps you locked up for your own protection; and one day when you happen to find your way outside, he is proven right.

Tags/Warnings: Smut (18+ ONLY). Mildly Dead Dove. Somewhat Dubious Consent. Kidnapping (Past mentioned and also attempted in-story). Emotional Manipulation. Bondage (using duct tape). Spanking. Edging/Orgasm Denial. Choking. Unprotected Sex. Brief Oral Sex (M!Receiving). Ariel is mostly mean but a bit soft sometimes??

A/N: Another prompt fill for my request event! This time, the prompts were "Ariel Conroy + Protective!Character + Possessive/Jealous Sex". This one's a bit rough so if there's anything in the tags that's going to upset/trigger you, please give this one a miss! Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 3058

Ariel Taglist: @pink-booty-butts, @demontoucansam, @glow-inthe-darkstarz, @definetlynotasmutaccount, @thingses-and-stuffses, @jamiewintonmybeloved, @bluedenimbabe, @notwhateveriwasbefore, @multisexyhoez20 (Please fill this form out if you want to be added!).

*

“Well, I hate to say that I told you so, pet… but I did tell you so.” Ariel’s words aren’t quite as soothing as the tone of his voice, nor the warmth of his body pressed against yours as he holds you tightly. One of his arms is firmly wrapped about your waist, while his other hand cradles the back of your head, your face buried in his shoulder, quiet sobs muffled by the fabric of his shirt. “How many times have I told you that it’s not safe for you out there on your own?”

Ariel hears you say something, but can’t quite hear what it was. So he brings your head away from his shoulder, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. Through your blurry vision you can almost make out something sympathetic behind his eyes as he looks at your tear stained face. “What was that?”

“E-enough times for me to know better…” you choke out, trying to avert your eyes thanks to the guilt you feel at defying him, especially when doing so has got you into so much trouble.

It had all started when Ariel happened to leave the door to your room — well, calling it a ‘room’ was quite generous, really it was just his basement, though he had made an effort to make it look nice for you — slightly ajar. It was strange, because he was usually so meticulous about keeping doors closed and locked when he’s not in the room with you. You didn’t know what came over you, but it was like your body was moving on its own. You climbed the staircase and hurried to the front door, checking if Ariel was in the vicinity before turning the handle and escaping outside.

You’d barely cleared the front gate before your worst fears had come true. You felt a hand grab your wrist and when you turned with a start, you saw the face of an unfamiliar man leering at you. You’d not interacted with another human being besides Ariel for months now, so your social skills were pretty rusty. He smirked in a way that made your skin crawl and then said something, but your pure terror had overtaken your sense of hearing, so you had no clue what it was. Before you knew it he was grabbing you by the waist and trying to pull you away, and then you were screaming out for Ariel.

Why you were screaming out for the man who had previously kidnapped you to save you from another potential kidnapper was quite beyond you, but you hadn’t known what else to do. At least with Ariel, you knew him. You knew that in some deeply fucked up way, he cared about you, and didn’t want to see you come to any harm. This other man, however, was a completely unknown factor. Who knows what he wanted to do with you? Maybe he’d kill you, or treat you far, far worse than Ariel ever had.

Perhaps that’s why you screamed, because you understood that it’s best to stay with the devil you know rather than take your chances with one you didn’t. Thankfully Ariel arrived to rescue you quickly and the entire thing was a blur, but before you knew it the other man was gone and you were instead being held tightly in the arms of your captor/lover. Whispering softly to you, he lead you back inside and into the basement, which had always seemed like a prison to you. Now that you knew what could happen outside of it, it seemed warm and comforting, and you were actually happy to be back there.

And now here you are, sitting on your bed while Ariel soothes you, stroking your hair and letting you cry into his shirt.

“I’m glad that you can admit when you’ve been bad, pet. If you couldn’t, this conversation might have gone very differently.” Ariel brushes some hair from your face and presses a tender, lingering kiss to your forehead. “But you understand I’ll still need to punish you, don’t you?”

You nod wordlessly, and Ariel can’t help but grin at your compliance. Even if it took a traumatic event, he loves that you’re finally obeying his orders without question. Your tear-filled, submissive eyes stir something inside of him that makes him want to devour you. But as he said, you need to be punished, so he’d have to leave that until later. “Take your clothes off for me, love,” he tells you gently, before standing up from the bed and rifling through a draw. You do as you were told, but keep your eyes on Ariel, wondering what he’s doing.

When Ariel turns back, he smiles at the sight of your body, completely bare. Immediately you see that he had found what he was looking for; a roll of duct tape. Great. Out of all the things he could pick to bind you with, why did it have to be the duct tape? You weren’t the biggest fan of being bound in the first place, but at least the handcuffs or the silk ropes didn’t rip the hair off your arms when Ariel took them off of you. But you want to stay on Ariel’s good side, so before he’s even returned to the bed, you get on your knees and hold your arms out in front of you, wrists touching.

“Good girl,” he says, the praise sounding genuine, as he comes back and sits down beside you. He rips the end from the roll of duct tape, circling your wrists with it as carefully as he can, making sure not to cut off the blood circulation. He stares at your lips for a second, and you’re not sure whether he’s thinking about kissing you or putting some tape over your mouth as well. Whichever option it was, he seems to decide against it, because once he’s torn the tape from the roll, he puts it aside on the nightstand.

You watch as Ariel’s hands move to the button on his jeans. He moves slowly, unbuttoning them and then unzipping the fly, almost as if he’s teasing you. Once he’s done, he pulls off his jeans, and you can see that he’s already hard through his boxers. You don’t quite understand why, because you hadn’t touched him, besides when you were crying on his shoulder, and there’s no way that turned him on, right?

There isn’t much time to question it, because all thoughts leave your head when you feel Ariel’s calloused hands trailing up your legs, from your ankles up to your thighs. Still, he’s moving so slow, making you shiver and squirm at the feeling. When he reaches the top of your thighs, he skips past your pussy, and his hands are on your breasts now, groping them roughly and reveling in how soft they feel.

“Now, pet, you know what you need to do.” Taking his hands off you, Ariel sits on the edge of the bed and waits for you to make your move. You crawl over to him – which is very difficult without being able to use your hands or arms – and lay face down across his lap. You can feel his clothed erection pressing right against your pussy, thanks to how you’re positioned. Ariel’s hand comes to touch your ass, massaging one cheek before his hand moves away.

You let out a loud yelp when suddenly he brings that same hand back down, smacking against your ass sharply. He caresses the sore spot, which you could only imagine had turned bright red. “You know I don’t like doing this, love. It hurts me more than it hurts you.”

You highly doubt that, considering the fact you’re lying across his lap with only his boxers separating you, you felt the way that his cock twitched beneath you when you cried out. But you know that you have to get through this, so you say nothing against him.

“You’ve already been through a lot today, so it’s only going to be ten, okay?” he asks gently, as if he’s going to give you a choice, but you nod and make an affirmative humming sound. You don’t see it, but Ariel smiles, just before he brings his hand down the second time. And then the third. And then the fourth. Then he continues until he’s done it a total of ten times, and you’ve got tears in your eyes and your backside is stinging.

You make a noise somewhere between a whimper and a contented sigh when you feel his hand softly running over the area he’s hit, soothing the pain a little. Ariel’s cock has gotten even harder somehow, and you can feel the wet patch on his boxers from his leaking precum. “Lay down now,” he tells you, his voice sounding strained, and you once again struggle to follow his orders.

It takes a couple of minutes, but soon enough you’re laying down on your back, bound wrists resting near your cunt. Ariel moves so he’s kneeling in front of you, pushing your arms up above your head and prying your legs apart. He smirks as his eyes fall between your thighs, not even needing to look closer to see how absolutely soaked you are. But he does so anyway, smugly relishing in the effect that he has on you.

“You were whining and crying while I was spanking you, but look at how wet it made you,” Ariel says, swiping two fingers between your folds and making you gasp. He holds the fingers close to your face so you can see the evidence of your arousal glistening on them. “You weren’t that wet before that, were you?”

“No, Ariel,” you reply in a whisper, not sure whether you’re telling the truth or not. Ariel’s grin widens, and his eyes rake down your body appreciatively, taking in everything. Every single part of you belongs to him, and after today, you’re going to know it.

Ariel pulls his t-shirt over his head, revealing his thin but very attractive torso to your eyes. Next comes his boxers, he pulls them down and frees his cock, hard and leaking against his stomach. You push your thighs together, trying to relieve some of the tension you were feeling, but before you can get too far Ariel pries them apart again.

His hand moves to your pussy, roughly rubbing your clit with his thumb, already at a rapid pace. You let out a shamefully loud moan, bucking your hips up against him. He laughs almost mockingly, loving that he can have you such a mess underneath him without even doing that much. “Remember the rules, love. No coming without permission or I’ll have to punish you again.”

You manage a nod, but after that, you can hardly do anything but moan and thrash. You have to use all of your focus and willpower to keep yourself from coming, no matter how difficult Ariel is making it for you. Ten spanks already have your ass sore enough, and you don’t want to know how many more you’d get if you defy him again.

Ariel seems to get some kind of sick sense of amusement from playing with you like this. Making you squirm and whine with pleasure while you have to bite your lip so hard that it’s nearly bleeding to stop yourself from falling over the edge. He’ll get you to the point where you’re sure that you can’t hold out anymore, taking his hand away and giving you a few seconds of respite, then starting back up again at the same pace. It’s like torture, nearly driving you insane, and Ariel loves every second of it.

Eventually, Ariel takes his hand away, and though you brace yourself for him to start again, he doesn’t. You open your bleary eyes after a few seconds, hearing some quiet moans coming from him. The first thing you see is him pumping his cock in his hand, using your copious arousal as lubricant, and a wave of horror washes over you. He’s not going to get you that worked up, then make you watch him get himself off without even an orgasm for yourself, is he? You know you did the wrong thing, but that seems far too cruel a punishment.

You’re just about to consider begging for your release when you feel Ariel move on the bed, tilting your hips upwards and positioning himself at your needy entrance. He slowly pushes the head in, convincing you that maybe he’d be nice this time, before sharply slamming the rest inside and tearing a shriek from you. No matter how wet you are, that’s just too much for you to take so quickly.

Ariel takes you roughly right from the start, just as he usually does. He grips your thighs so hard that there’s definitely going to be bruises there later, as he drives himself inside your cunt, hips colliding with you somewhat painfully. His thick cock stretches you out and it hurts, but there’s also a good deal of pleasure threatening to overtake it that you have to stave off. You’re struggling already, thanks to how long he’d been edging you before, and how his cock always manages to hit the perfect spots inside of you.

“Can’t believe you thought you could leave me.” His statement is punctuated by a loud moan, as he pushes your leg up, allowing him to reach even further inside of you. “You know I’ve ruined you for anyone else. No one would ever be able to make you feel like I do.”

The sweet Ariel from before –  the one who insisted that he had to do just this one little thing before he could forgive you – was gone, and had been replaced with another Ariel who was genuinely mad at you, using all of his anger and frustration to fuck you harder and harder. You felt like crying, and not just because of the painful pleasure he was assaulting your body with.

“I go to all the trouble of making this place nice for you, of taking care of you, and you try to leave me?” You feel Ariel’s hand come to your neck and you wince before he even begins to press down, restricting your airway enough for it to have you gasping but not enough that you’ll pass out. “Your lack of gratitude disgusts me.”

“I’m sorry, Ariel,” you pant out, such a short sentence taking you longer than usual since you are struggling to breathe. “I’m so sorry!”

“So you should be.” He takes his hand away from your throat now, and you inhale sharply a few times, wanting to take in as much oxygen as possible. All of his focus goes back to fucking you now, and all of yours goes back to trying to keep yourself from coming.

You make a concerted effort, considering how rough he’s being with you. But you’re getting to the point where you can no longer possible hold back, and you need his permission. “P-please, Ariel, I can’t take it anymore!” you sob, tears making your vision blurry so you can’t see Ariel’s expression.

At first you think he’s ignoring you, that you’re just going to have to deal with it or take the punishment, but after what seems like an eternity, he speaks up again. “Say it,” he hisses, whether from anger or from the pleasure you’re unsure, “Say that you’re not going to try and leave again. Say that you belong to me.”

You say it too quickly. Considering that it was something that you could never take back, the way that the words just come out of your mouth without any thought, was humiliating. But you really couldn’t handle it anymore. “I-I won’t leave you! I’ll stay forever, promise!” Another sudden inhale. “I belong to you, Ariel!”

With those last words, Ariel’s thumb is rubbing your clit again, and in only a few seconds you’re practically screaming, shaking violently under his touch as you soak his cock. You’re so caught up in probably the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had that you don’t even notice that Ariel doesn’t come too. Once you’ve gone limp, Ariel’s hips and hand cease, and he pulls his still-hard cock out of your sore, sensitive pussy.

“We’re not quite done yet, love,” he informs you, and when you don’t move or respond, he pulls you up and lays you down on your stomach, positioning your mouth over his cock. Ariel gives you a few moments before pushing his dick into your mouth, making you taste your own wetness and his precum on it. You’re far too exhausted, but try to move your tongue in a way that’ll be pleasing to him, though it doesn’t really matter much because it's only a couple of seconds before he comes.

You manage to swallow everything Ariel gives you, knowing how much he hates a mess. Once your mouth is free, you do your best to breathe, but between the pleasure and the crying and the abuse to your throat, it’s difficult. Before you know it, he’s pulled you on top of him, holding your head to his bare chest and allowing you to feel his heartbeat as it slows to a more normal rate.

Ariel strokes your hair, and you try to keep yourself from crying, though a few tears definitely fall onto his chest. “I’m really sorry, Ariel…” you repeat, your voice hoarse and strained. “I-I’m never going to leave you, I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me.”

“I know that, pet. You did very well taking your punishment. I forgive you.” He leans down to kiss your forehead, and for some reason, you smile knowing that you've made him happy. You nuzzle into his neck, and Ariel feels his heart warm at the affectionate gesture being initiated by you. This time, he felt like you truly meant it when you said that you belong to him. Everything is the way that it’s supposed to be.

Perhaps his plan to let you get outside and hiring that man to instill fear into you was cruel, but if it had this effect, Ariel had to admit that it was entirely worth it.

[robotsrawesome64]

Heyyyy saw you would like some COD matchups

I'm American, but my mother's side is Slavic. I'm white, 5'6, shoulder length brown hair. I wear glasses and have a coquette aesthetic. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized so idk what to call myself lol.

I'm quiet and come off and kinda weird when you don't know me (I have under developed social skills due to C-PTSD). I stay to myself, make jokes that don't even seem connected to the current interactions, have a hard time maintaining eye contact. I love space and art, I have ADHD, Bipolar, and C-PTSD. I'm extremely loyal, can see right through people's bullshit, and am extremely understanding of people's unconventional habits. When you get to know me, I'm more chaotic. Not in an "I'm so random🤪😎" way but "I have an idea, I've thought it 70% of the way through, and we will see how it goes together"

If I were in the COD universe I'd probably be a sniper. I know that's a basic answer but my reasons are due to my hypervigilence, good eye tracking, great at shooting (shoutout to Thanksgiving traditions), and preferance for overall quiet and strict environments.

My top 5 characters are Simon Riley, Nikto, Gaz, Konig (Canon, not fanon), and Krueger.

Feel free to ignore, ik that writing can be really draining!! <3

I matched you with....

KU-KU-KUH KRUUUEGER 📣📢♨️❗❓💢💯🆘

^graphic design is my passion

TYSM for the first ask :,,DD So I got carried away, gonna see if ur into it but if not give me a shout to remove any of the warning stuff/private it etc !! (this is on me lmao) dont wanna scare you off w warnings, its overall fluff but i gotta tag em correctly

W: bbgifying fictional war criminals, violence/murder(described Krueger kills hostiles, implication you have), intimidation(Krueger likes killing/is ego aggressive to hostiles/brief aggro jealousy to others), ally very wounded (brief, blood mention, theyll be ok offscreen dw), unexpected gunshot on the range(all g, it was an ally), stalker-y (lately announced presence, lies that the public german nickname 4u he uses isnt affectionate, pre-dating jealousy), vague bad mental health mention, getting triggered mention, unspecified negativeish Krueger coping mechanism, vigilance(nothing happens but ur partners wanted/tense mission), you guys shooting, long mandated proximity, brief 'is bad man?', worry, long read more, light cliffhanger + HC that you were assigned callsign 'Cere'!

(This is a delulu long 2 off, next inbox ask i get to im gonna chill & try bulletpoints instead :p)(req are closed rite now TYSM for them&lt;3 !)

===============================================🌙

"You're assigned with Krueger? Oh, buddy." Your fellow KorTac operator eyes you with sympathy.

It was the equivalent of a teacher seating the 'troubled' kid next to the 'good, quiet' kid.

Flash back to pre-assignment: as soon as you met him you didn't need to look into any files to know he was a two-faced bitch. He was pretty socially inconspicuous if not for your watchful eye. Low-effort charisma, flattery, egotisical swagger. Heedless apathy if someone that wasn't helping him needed help. All the calm confidence in the world and he's always at least hiding some part of his face. So suspicious for a dude whose job is murder.

Krueger was 'friendly', but he wasn't the type to get invested in getting to know 'the team'. Meaning, once a blue moon when you both decide to stay in a social space together, the max of your interaction is him staring from across the room and snorting at you. A joke of yours had fell on someone's deaf ears and a solid 4 seconds later he chuckled at it. Or at you. Unclear. You'd felt his blatant gaze burning you through the hood as soon as you'd started talking. Anyway, now you both looked "weird".

Maybe it was a sniper thing? You couldn't afford to get rusty as you settled on the faction base's range; one eye closed to focus down the scope. That familar 'pchow' sound: hit. Cock, reload, hit, repeat. Hit. Hit-hit, wait what? What was supposed to be your target dents in front of you as you hear the same sound, but from along the range. Jesus christ. Someone else was practicing too. You still yourself and resume through their tampering/co-shooting. Once you've had your fill Krueger conveniently had too, revealing himself as your competitor to purr a praise at you as you passed by. "Very nice."

Anyway, that mission you two were sent on. Heavy snow, low hills and wind-swept shrubland before forest. Hostile base right in the middle in which you've been ordered to clear by any means. There was no way they'd be able to send in a team yet without getting spotted, which is where you guys came in. A sniper either side. Hit your shots; everything will be okay. Miss? There's only so many places it could've come from.

There was something beautiful in that moment in the calm before the storm. Only the crunch of snow as you settled into position, impossibly small as you painted the final dot in the break of snow back to white. Above you, an even wider sprawling landscape of almost clear blue sky with a few sparse strings of cloud. You could see the faint impression of the moon. And…another planet? Something smaller, stationary, glinting. It was possible to catch planets during the daytime, sure, but you might know that this wasn't their usual positions. You think you've just witnessed something very special.

Married to that sight was the chill of wind over your many layers, and Krueger muttering eerily calm communications in your ear via radio. It's not like sniper fire could be silent, but you had a window of opportunity with the suppressor temporarily hiding your position. You'd shoot together.

He slowly counted down like he enjoyed it. Regardless of his distracting yapping you both hit, and he shamelessly hissed praise as he eagerly loaded his next.

Cut to your report back, your half-smile fades at a joke that didn't land with your befuddled superior. Krueger snickers. This was a long-range mission. Somehow, you were standing to attention in front of them, half your sniper hood burnt up (??) and Krueger standing a little more lax next to you splattered in blood. Now- you had clutched the mission. Thanks to your half-plan in response to Krueger getting ahead of himself, in which upon your very stressed communication you both went all-in on.

You remember a moment in the scuffle in which you were pinned by the last hostile after rescuing a screaming damsel Krueger (you didn't know he hit that pitch). You half expected the knife stuck through your attackers neck to pierce you too, before Krueger threaded the needle and double-neutralized your attacker with a snap of the neck. Panting, he leant out a hand for you to take, with a tilt of his head. "Thank you, bruder." You'd worked surprisingly natural together come the highest pressure. He didn't want to die, and you wouldn't let him. But God, he gave you a headache.

To your dismay/morbid interest you were assigned as a duo together again. And again. And again. Through trial and error you got more and more used to how each-other worked on the field, to the point his more bloodlust-y spontaneous ventures seemed quite tempting. With the guidance of your planning, of course. You swear you could hear him smirk on the other side of the radio when you finally seemed just as enthusiastic as him. Others joining you on your assignments would have to scramble to keep up with the pace of your symbiosis.

When he wasn't screaming and shouting for his life from the consequences of his own actions/in combat/violently taunting his enemies with concerning egotistical aggression, it was quite peaceful. Something about being able to focus together, but apart. Beautiful landscapes to the sound of his soothing dry tone.

And so, sue you if you hung out a little more.

"Come; you're needed." He'd half-joke with a pat on your back if he saw you alone, inviting you to sit with him and Nikto. The life-or-death nature of your field didn't really breed cliques, it's just when you could pick, two other 'offputting' neurodivergents were much less exhausting (once you'd mostly figured they weren't planning to kill you). Sometimes Krueger would be trying to say something and both you and Nikto would lose focus and have a lighter episode at the same time, which could be funnily validating despite the circumstances.

Nikto's threateningly gruff, jovial energy was kind of infectious. It might just come up in conversation: your mother's heritage. Ooh, Russian? Was it Russian? Do you know a second language? Krueger participated in the conversation, but…fuck, why were you looking at Nikto like that? No, no, you should just learn German with him instead. You'll have enough time for it together when you travel for your next mission.

It was very few and far between where Krueger had given anyone a nickname. Acquaintance German speakers would give him weird looks when he called you 'asterisks/little star'- "Sternchen," with a lingering tone. He'd non-chalantly play it off when you asked, oh you know, explaining it meant star, like the callsign you got assigned. You might explain, oh no, 'Cere' is a dwarf planet.

"Oh, really?" He seemed very interested as your eyes lit up into conversation about something you seemed to like.

Upon your explanation, he thinks your callsign suited you very well. Cere: an exceptional astronomical body usually hidden to the human eye. The largest object in an asteroid belt in-between Mars and Jupiter; muddy and icy; sporting brines, carbonates and stunningly shiny cryovolcanoes. Incredibly underrated for a beautiful busy planet that screams potential life.

He still called you sternchen, ft. "Mein sternchen," that one time. He was aiming for a cutesy secret term of endearment, but 'asterisks' technically worked too. You were his 'yes, and'. Shit, was he really thinking like that? I mean, he wasn't totally shy to it. It's just most of his previous attractions were short-term and pretty baseless for a reason. Especially with co-workers that actually had an allegiance to who they were working for.

Which made it all the more natural for him to unblinkingly step over and in the pool of blood of the person you were both tasked to protect when he saw you go down. He shouted scolding concern as he rushed to help you out even though you weren't even half as hurt.

Or when you felt shit, to say the least. You were stationed together in Berlin for an unpredictably long wait for a high-priority target. A safehouse in the middle of plain sight with you guys on deck. Blend in as civillians, barely working, just…waiting to be called on. It felt like leave, except you were living with Krueger.

It was definitely a little stressful for him to be back in Germany. He didn't intially realize his unconscious unconventional coping mechanisms set you off too, until he did, and he was at your side if you ever needed something. Helping you wasn't a big deal as far as he was concerned; he didn't have the capacity for afflictive empathy to get particularly tired of it. He'd stare at you with a limited calculative look as he tried to think of what might make his (..work)partner a little better.

Oh, staring? It was a natural habit of his to unabashedly look right in the eyes of people he considered safe/close. Just outside he tried to keep his anonymity, but here he offered to also hide his face or something indoors whilst he checked himself for that habit. Wouldn't be anything new.

Neither was finding the right words to avoid misconception/upset; casually, calmly squashing any worries.

Or when he kept bouncing his leg after being in too long when he sat, and you met eyes whilst fidgeting yourself. Yeah, no-one needed to say it to know it was time to go out.

Just two solid, fit foreigners with inconsistent tan lines. Yeah, no pressure. Played it off as his American other-half visiting for the summer holiday, or something. Not that he at all minded. An older couple observing you when he used his nickname for you (it..just meant star, right?); when he put his hand on your back to guide you somewhere less dodgy; or when you both stood close like you liked him to inconspicuously mutter information. In one of those moments you thought he might be a bit too much of a natural at this.

But you couldn't exactly leave each-other; he spared the details but let you know the faces to look for. And when his description trailed off, he tried drawing instead. Uh, yeah, no offence, but you couldn't tell what that was. You tried instead for him, kind of like a police sketch artist. Regardless of whether you drew often or not, he'd walk a little closer in interest, hand on the back of your seat to look over your shoulder with an impressed noise. "You made them too handsome, sternchen. That-oh yeah, much better." He'd joke.

Art was a pretty good way to fill the time. Alongside Krueger teaching you a little German to apply it later- maybe at a till. If you wanted to buy paints or something, go crazy. Company money, right? Fashion was fun, too. Unsure if you'd ever get the opportunity again to have packed nice-nice clothes for a job. Unlike him; he was underdressed compared to you. Sometimes literally.

Whenever the sunlight beamed in through your little window at the right time of day, he'd lay in it like a cat, sleeveless/ shirtless if you were comfortable. Men. Which was of note since he couldn't exactly flash them outside, but aside from the few scars (a couple of which you remember how he got them.) he had some cool (..?) tattoos. Shame he couldn't get one from you. Not that he'd back out if you busted out the ol' stick and poke. But hey, plenty of empty space left for illustratory practice to bide the time?

Time seemed to go quicker. Krueger singing under his breath around the small flat-thing as he tried to occupy himself; laying next to you on the floor when you felt bad; routine window sunbathing; eagerly crafting an elaborate game with you via worryingly stacked things from around the place just to take aggressive turns with each-other making it break everywhere and fall. It was the human equivalent of two ping pong balls in a box. His stories being your podcast as you did art; him sitting still-ish for you and being amused by the cute bow he'd been awarded to his bicep (not that he could compare to your style); loosely giving his hands back to you behind his head so you could fidget with or hold them, whatever you want.

If you liked him back? He confidently didn't think it was just an act of care anymore from the way your gaze lingered on him- which he reciprocated. He'd speak back calmly and try to hide the twitch of a smile with a satisfied tilt back of his head.

He'd hold you like he would've done anyway if you needed him, with the added flair of lulling his head to rest against next to yours as he calmly talked your ear off before bed. Maybe as he lightly traced your cheek where his hand laid, if he felt braver.

Your shared enemies always seemed to go down harder, more violently. Other operators caught snarky comments.

You weren't quite sure how it'd all come to an official head, or not. But as far as you were concerned, with your head on his shoulder, it wasn't too bad to be assigned with Sebastian Krueger.

[echizen-division]

“To play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion is inexcusable.” -Ludwig van Beethoven

Timeline

Age 0

Born to Hanabi and Fusao Ise at New York, USA, making her the younger half sister to Ruka by 4 years

Age 7

By impulse, asks for a violin

Her musical training begins in tandem with her being homeschooled

Her triplet siblings are born

Age 9

Moves to Aoyama, Japan

Overheard her grandparents arguing with Fusao

Realizes that maybe her family isn’t as okay as she thought

Age 10

Debuts as “The Rose of Sharon” in a soirée

She frequently plays at gatherings after that

Age 16

Fusao “▇▇▇▇”

Begins to suspect her own family

Notices that more she plays at events, the more she grew exhausted

She didn’t pay attention to it at first

Ruka debuts as an idol

Age 19

Eventually, she couldn’t even stand the sight of her own violin

Age 21

Falling out with her mother at another soirée they were both attending

Vanishes from Aoyama

Runs off to Echizen, hoping that none of her family members know she’s there

Gets lost

Meets Kohaku Meguno, who guided her around the city

Later on befriends him

Age 22

Kohaku introduces her to Nishio

Reluctantly, she goes back to playing the violin as she realises she runs low on cash

Age 23

Received news about her father ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

Meets Kotori Tomoshibi during a gig at a restaurant

Age 24

Present

Joins in the DRB as Echizen Division’s Clockwork Lament with Nishio Tokishou and Kohaku Meguno

Finds out about the existence of Felix Sachishi, wondering why is he so against her father

Schedule

11:30 PM - 12:00 AM - Crashes to her bed and sleeps

12:00 - 7:30 AM - Sleeping

7:30 AM - 8:00 AM - Wakes up

8:00 AM - 8:50 AM - Taking a shower

8:50 - 9:20 AM - Changes to ‘disguise’

9:20 - 9:30 - Comically short breakfast

9:30 - 10:00 AM - Going to cafe

10:00 AM - 12:00 PM Part-time job at a cafe (ngl she’s only there to hear people gossip about current happenings)

12:00 - 12:40 PM - Shift ends + lunch at a nearby eatery

12:40 - 1:20 PM - Goes home

1:20 1:40 PM - Changes to casual clothes

1:40 - 2:20 PM - Heads to the Rusty Rose

2:20 - 6:00 PM Chattering and helping along Nishio and Kohaku at the shop (+occasional writing while there)

6:00 - 6:40 PM - Goes back home

6:40 PM - 7:00 PM - Dinner

7:00 - 7:10 PM Doing dishes

7:10 - 7:40 PM - Freshens up

7:40 - 8:00 PM Changes clothes again

8:00 - 8:40 PM - Goes to some restaurant

8:30 - 10:50 PM - Performing at restaurant

10:50 - 11:40 PM - Goes back home

Character Hashtags

#A wilting rose of Sharon

#WIP don’t RT it!

#Two-faced “Tom” cat

#Burnt out to the core

#Who can I trust?

#Hiding things from each other

Other Info

Hobby: Gossiping

Weakness: Ill-tempered

Trauma: “I don’t know how to trust my own family anymore.”

Social Media: @echzn_nevermore

@echzndiv_real (division account, she runs this)

Drinks: Yes

Smokes: Yes

Special Skill: “As much as I hate playing the violin, I can improvise pieces with ease.”

Intro Quote: “The hell exactly is ‘docile’?”

Trauma Quote: “You heard me! I. AM. EXHAUSTED. AS. SHIT!!! WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THESE PRETENTIOUS FUCKS ANYWAY?!!”

Ending Quote: “Sing it. Confess it. Those sins of yours.”

[clatterbane]

1) It is extremely hard to switch relationships that start in one language to another one. So, your friendships that started in English will likely stay in English for a very long time, maybe even mostly forever. . .

That leads to a suggestion:

Rather than trying to switch current friendships from one language to another, find spaces where you develop German-language friendships/relationships. Things like joining a Verein, finding a group to volunteer with, or taking non-language classes at a VHS can be good ways of putting yourself in spaces where German is the default language.

And the truth is, you will be a bit more boring and a bit less sharp in German in these spaces, and that will continue for a while. But: the only way to improve is to speak and interact A LOT in German. It takes time, and there is not a real shortcut.

More ouch.

When you know some advice is absolutely spot on, but learned social anxiety. 😬

(Obviously not only applicable to German, though semi-ironically I have personally had enough more experience yammering at people in German that I would probably feel less "deer in headlights" trying to deal with people if I were plopped down, say, just across the Baltic in Lübeck. Even being rusty as hell by now, after a lot of years of only limited reading and listening.)

But yeah, person definitely has some points. Not least about switching languages within existing relationships. I say, as I've been living with a native Swedish speaker for going on 20 years. Handy as hell when an interpreter is needed, but the only times he's spoken it at me was as a very occasional result of the ever-popular Bilingual Brain Scramble mode switching weirdness. Usually when half-asleep or sufficiently drunk, and/or a few times just after long Swedish conversations with somebody else.

Which also helps make me more self-conscious about trying out my broken-ass Swedish on him. When if anybody is used to ridiculous things coming out of mouth by now... 🙄

I know I have wibbled before here about this stuff. But, my craptastic speaking skills really are a source of ongoing stress--especially now that I've been here long enough that I do get the idea that people were starting to expect better at least a year ago. Of course, the huge gap between speaking and, erm, pretty much everything else, is only amplified by the whole autism thing. I am awkward as hell and prone enough to bluescreening speaking English.

But yeah, frustrating and intimidating as the prospect may be? The only way this situation is likely to improve is if I do figure out some reasonable ways to get my sorry mobility-challenged ass out more to interact with--and hopefully get to know some--people to subject to my terrible attempts at spoken Swedish. That is the only way it's likely to get less broken. Besides the whole offline social isolation thing.

[scorpiongrassfield]

There's More Than One Way to Get Kicked Out Of a Family

Start | Prev

There’s a certain weight to the way Pat says it. A significance hinted at that you can’t quite grasp. There’s a story here. It’s one you’re supposed to know.

“Oh?” you question, trying not to let on that you have no idea what Pat is talking about. 

Pat shrugs. They pull the cigarette from behind their ear and twirl it around thoughtfully. “I mean. That’s not the only possible explanation, but it’s not out of the question. We’ll rule it out or not once we get more information on the guy,” they say. 

To stall from having to comment on that, since you have no idea what the explanation is supposed to be, you take another bite of your soup. It’s cooler now, but still warm. 

You must have burned your tongue worse than you thought though, because you can’t really taste it at all. 

Still, the warmth of it is very comforting, and you can’t deny that you’re feeling a little better for it. 

Pat smiles, wide and bright. “Alright, you keep working on your food. I’m gonna see if there’s anyone in here that can lend me a lighter,” they say, gesturing with the cigarette. 

You nod and take another bite to avoid offering the one in your pocket. If they want to smoke, surely there will be someone else around to indulge them. 

It strikes you that this was not the original reason you had been hiding the lighter from them. 

And yet that thought felt natural to you. 

Were you trying to get them to quit before you lost your memory? 

You turn to look at them as they walk outside with someone who had been sitting at the counter. Watch them turn the corner from the glass door once they're outside.

A serious sense of unease settles in. Worse than the cold. Worse than the frustration. A sense of danger. 

You see another flash of burgundy, like something is just about to enter the field of view provided by the door.

You turn your attention away from it, refuse to think about it. You have to focus on something else you can’t let it catch you. 

And there’s a good distraction. The waitress walks past your booth carrying a plate of blueberry cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It looks delicious. 

So much for them being out of dessert. 

Someone laughs. 

“They tend to save me a piece since they know I’ll be coming in,” the person says, smile clear in their tone. 

You look up to see the person at the back corner booth staring straight at you. Had you made your comment out loud? 

“Sorry. Had you not meant for me to hear that? My bad. I’ll let you get back to your lunch,” the man apologizes. He looks away again, blush rising on his cheeks. 

“How do they know you’ll be coming in?” you ask, curiosity sparked. 

“Oh!,” the man squeaks, surprised. “Um. I come here every day. At the same time. And I like to order the same thing every time. So if they think there won’t be any cobbler left they’ll save a piece for me, I guess. It’s very nice of them,” he rambles. 

“That is nice,” you agree. So this man is a regular here. Maybe he knows something about your suspect? 

But you aren’t even sure you know the suspect’s name. How are you supposed to ask about him? 

“Have you ever had the cobbler here before?” the man asks, seemingly trying to keep the conversation going. 

You shake your head. 

“Do you want to try a bite? It’s really very good,” he says. 

You aren’t sure if you should accept. 

“Ah. Is that strange to offer? Sorry. I’m uh. A little rusty on my social skills. You really can have some if you want though. I’m not that hungry today,” he says. 

You frown. “Why order it if you’re not hungry?” 

He smiles, but his eyes aren’t in it. “Well. If I were to not show up I think the staff might actually worry about me,” he says, dropping his voice just a bit. “And after a year of getting the same thing every time, they don’t bother to ask me what I want anymore. Which is fine, except for if I’m not hungry. But they went to all the trouble of saving it for me, so it would be sad if it went to waste,” he explains. That seems… believable enough. 

And talking to him has lessened the encroaching fear by half at least. 

Should you take him up on his offer?

[muselin]

Hey, hey!!

You seem like you know what you're doing in terms of flirting.

I bombed last time I attempted to flirt with someone.

Do you have any tips?

Oh gosh, sometimes I wonder if I know what I'm doing anymore! I'm rusty, but let's see...

It's not easy to answer this because as cheesy as it sounds, people have such different things they are good at that they can leverage with flirting. What worked on me with guys was absolutely the way they flirted and how they used what they were good at in it, they were honestly never the most handsome guys in the room but they had the best social skills. Other people were better at flirting by being nerdy, like if they noticed we had something in common, they would show off their knowledge of it a little and come up with more topics in that area to explore or maybe an activity.

I'll try and give examples from how i flirt and hopefully that will give some ideas too. When I was younger I wasn't as extroverted as I am now but I was good at non-verbal communication. I could say a lot with my eyes or the way I sat, I was never shy to look at a guy I liked in a way that he knew I wanted something. It definitely worked for me. However, now that I'm older, I'm too shy to do that. It could be because of living in a different country where the body language and culture is a bit different. But I'm more extroverted now and I'm good with humour and sarcasm and being more theatrical, and this is how I flirt now. I tease the guy playfully but I don't degrade him, that's a step too far and not attractive with someone you barely know. I joke a lot. I do try and incorporate some of the more non-verbal things still, but maybe not as direct as I did when I was younger. I'll stand closer to the guy than I would to most other people, I'll do things that invite some level of touch. Like borrowing pens, asking for help adjusting something, sharing notes, things like that. And if we get our faces a bit closer, I'll look him in the eyes for a moment without saying anything. It creates a little moment where he might wonder "Oh? Does she like me or something?"

Any guys out there feel free to tell me how you react to this and if it would be good for you lol. But this is how I do it. Good luck to you in finding your own flirting style!

[glowyjellyfish]

Wouldn’t it be great to stick with one Sims 2 game or idea until I see it through? That would be fun I think.

…anyway, I randomly looked at the Test of Time rules, and my rusty old anthropology minor ass immediately went EARLY SOCIETIES DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

I mean, I am not going to complain to the person who made the rules, it’s a fun concept and clearly a fairly popular challenge, and I am sure the rule-maker is a lovely person. But why do you think tribal societies shouldn’t communicate oh my god. Tribal societies are nothing but community. Let your ancient couples talk to other people! That’s how you get chiefs, it’s a guy with the most friends and influence! And omg you can’t go straight from hunter-gatherers to Ancient Rome what. Give them a chiefdom period first!

Anyway, I am pretty sure I had these same thoughts before, several years ago, because I already had a whole bunch of my own rules written out. Many of those rules are bad and need to be changed, and I want to incorporate the full sun&moon collection like I often do. Not that I can play this anytime soon—I would need to set up an Ancient downloads folder and I don’t think I have either the drive space or the wherewithal to start yet again. Ideally, someday I’ll have downloads folders for Ancient & Classical, Medieval & Renaissance, Enlightenment & Regency, Victorian & Edwardian (plus Steampunk and Old West), Vintage (ie roughly 20s-70s, plus a bit of Fallout style), and Modern (roughly 80s-present), and then move any Through Time neighborhoods between downloads folders, but that day is not today.

So the basics of what I want my own, more accurate rules to be would involve:

-Transitioning between eras is dependent on events and thresholds, not time passing (because I prefer proportionate aging but it would take FOREVER)

-Eras will be Hunter/Gatherer, Chiefdom, Classical, Dark Ages, Medieval, Renaissance, Enlightenment, Victorian, Vintage, Modern. Roughly. Might rename them.

-Hunter/Gatherer involves communal living, men going on hunting trips while women gather, and influence gained from relationships and hunting skill. Transitions based on needing agriculture to feed everyone; haven’t figured it out yet

-chiefdom has a ruling family and a few influential roles. The Chief collects extra resources and can use them to build public works. Farming and herding are now common, and sims trade with one another rather than simply sharing. Artisan trades begin. Organized religion begins. Bloodlines are organized into clans, and jostling for a better position is frequent; sims have influence based on their families, but it’s all very fluid at this point. Raids are executed to increase wealth and power. A few careers become available. Transitions based on defense maybe?

-classical starts full-fledged social classes with taxes and everything, and many careers are available (though not for all sims). The ruler is more absolute, and demands military service to fuel campaigns that bring in wealth and slaves. Slavery is a thing, prisoners of war brought home as part of the spoils. Periodically, such as once per season, barbarians try attacking; once you reach a certain threshold of number of slaves and wealth, your decadence is your downfall and the barbarians invade successfully. This wipes out a large percentage of your population and installs CAS Barbarian men in new positions of power; while slaves assisted your downfall and may find themselves better or worse off than before.

-the dark ages is how your society recovers after the Barbarian invasion. You can choose one member of each bloodline to protect, but everyone else had a good chance of dying. If your ruler had a daughter or female relative, the lead Barbarian forcibly married her to lend legitimacy to his takeover, and the new king offers positions of power to his followers and to your citizens that suck up to him. Transitions based on stabilization and the church.

-the medieval era plays very much like a MCC, with the focus on reestablishing the dominance of your society and figuring out your culture in the wake of the invasion. Transitions based on college and the printing press.

-the Renaissance allows more education and opportunities for the creatively talented, and features apprenticeship. It’s also the age of exploration; there will be lots of ship rules in play, and I’ll have a mechanic for discovering the New World. You then add a subhood representing it, with a second Through Time community placed there. You can either start them at the beginning, or roll to start them in any of the previous eras. However, your original society will want to colonize the New World, and transitions when you succeed.

-the Enlightenment involves colonization and overthrowing kings

…and that’s about as far as I got. Some of these sections I have more details for, others are just as vague as this rough outline. You’d think I could just start making the colonial-start through time BACC I came up with a couple months ago, but no.

[doycema]

Blue Amity

"What are you doing in this school?!"

"You don't have any magic! So how come you've passed the examination?!"

"Maybe she bribed the Dean!"

"Ugh! Cheater!"

"Hey, remember she's just a daughter of a poor baron. Definitely she don't have any money to bribe the Dean."

"Yeah right HAHAHAHAHA."

"Still a cheater!"

"You don't deserve to be here!"

"You don't belong here!"

"Just leave!"

Nothing new. Always the same people and always the same lines. Would they be happy if I didn't set foot here in the first place? Almost everyone in this university thinks I'm a cheater. Nevertheless, it didn't stop me to always do my best to prove that I'm really worthy to be in this university and that I worked hard just to enter here. But they always see what I lack off, and that is magic.

The school I entered is a university that can be found on the center of the deepest forest in our town, where it is unreachable of any light from the sun. The only thing that lights up this place is through the luminescence of the moon. Unlike the usual magic universities you know that has a very lively, bright, and sparkly appearance and allure on it, this university is totally the opposite of it. The moment you stand in front of its enormous and slightly rusty gate, you will already feel the dark and gloomy aura enveloping the place. Once you enter, you will first noticed the Gargoyles and Greek-like sculptures that are evidently old and has a dusky-like appearance surrounding the foggy school grounds. You will also noticed that all the walls, pillars, and doors are all covered with coffee, black, and gray paints. The doors and windows are all tremendously tall and large that it could actually fit two average-height people stack-up together. In short, this university is massively huge and quite eerie for anyone's liking.

But despite of its not-so-alluring atmosphere, still it is one of the very well known universities in our town, the Nexus Academy of Magic. The only way to enter this university is for you to pass the examination and also for you to have the most important thing, magic. Even though the improvement of the students' magic abilities and skills are the main goals and priorities in this university, having a wealthy background or coming from a well known family are one of the perks a student can use to make his/her university life much easier. Social equality aren't much prioritized here for they only care for the improvement of the students' magic abilities and its benefits and contributions to our growing society of magic. The professors and staffs only favors students that has wealthy and high social class backgrounds, and also the students that has good and excellent magic abilities. So as for me that is only a daughter of a poor baron and someone who doesn't have magic, I always have a hard time getting access on the university's facilities and also of the recognition of my professors. Even though I top first on our class and even in the whole university, still the recognition and appreciation I was expecting didn't see the light of day.

Due to this situation I'm in, I always experience being bullied and receiving a lot of hate and criticisms. Be it my classmates or schoolmates, almost everyone in this university has cause me affliction and agony in some way.

Speaking of bullies, there comes Ionia Aux Amspoker walking down the dusky hallway along with her three "minions", looking dashing on her fitted sexy black collared-dress matched with a pair of black high knee boots. She is a daughter of a count so it's not bewildering that she's one of the favored students of almost every professors of this university. She also have the face, the wealth, and the magic ability that could capture anyone's attention that therefore results for her to gain the title of "The Nexus Sorceress".

Tsk! Here she comes.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the magic less Aven Mintz.", Ionia mockingly said.

"Yeah! Pathetic, right? HAHAHAHAHA.", commented by one of her minions. While the others laugh at me insultingly.

"Ms. Ionia, why don't you slap her so she could finally wake up and realize that she doesn't belong here no matter how hard she tries HAHAHAHAHAHA.", suggested by her other minion which I think named Aisha.

"Shut up! All of you! I don't need any of your opinions coming from your filthy mouths! Speak and you'll all turn to ashes! Understood?!", Ionia angrily spewed on her minions.

One thing that is really a red flag on her is that she's so hot-headed, an abuser and also an airhead. Tss. That's what you call pathetic and not me. So as expected, her minions did shut their mouths afraid of becoming an ash all their life.

"Good. Now, where are we? Oh, yeah! You.", she pointed at me.

"I have an idea. Why don't we do something fun? Maybe a game or something HAHAHAHAHA." Ionia's laugh really creeps me out. Brr! It sounds so evil and quite disturbing, or maybe it's just me?

"Wait! On second thought, Aisha's idea is not that bad. We could actually do it now. We're just going to level it up a little. What do you think, huh? A-ven?". She put emphasis on my name and said it in a much more threatening way that made me a little worried for my safety.

"Hold her up!", she commanded on her minions. They quickly surrounded me. I didn't have the time to react so they caught me before I could even run. Two of them tightly held both of my arms on both sides, while the other one positioned behind me and locked me from behind by circling her arms around my shoulders. They really did a good job on trapping me. Tsk! How am I supposed to get out of this mess?

"Hey, Aven. Look.", said by Ionia. I saw her both palms scorching with hot flames while looking at me with a sinister smile on her face. My eyes widened and sweat begins to drip down my face when I realized what she's planning to do. I quickly roamed my eyes around the hallway searching for anyone to help me. But no one dared to even step a single foot to stop Ionia from harming me.

I painfully smiled from the thought that I was really alone and no one ever understood and cared for my well-being in this university. Ever since I stepped foot here, my life became a living hell. Sure! I'm just a daughter of a poor baron that was born with no magic. So what?! I'm here in this university because I'm still hoping that somehow I would still get my magic. That maybe I'm just a late comer that's why until now my magic still doesn't appear. Why do I have to experience this every single day? I had enough. If only someone out there could lend me a hand. Just one person is enough. Just one.

"Here's your makeover, Aven! HAHAHAHAHA!!". I closed my eyes and prepared for the pain I'll experience from Ionia's hands. I waited for Ionia's heated palms touch my cheek but nothing came. I slowly opened my eyes and there I saw a girl facing her back towards me. I got teary-eyed from the thought that someone did save me from the agony I will soon faced. The girl's fingers are wrapped tightly around Ionia's arm forcefully stopping her from what she's about to do. Shocked and disbelief was evident on Ionia's face, and it took a while before she was able to retrieve her arm from the girl's grasp.

She pointed at the girl and angrily said, "Who do you think you are to stop me?! Do you even know who you're facing at, huh?!". The girl didn't gave attention on to what Ionia has to say and turn her back on her. She walked towards me and I just realized that the "minions" who's holding me earlier are all laying unconscious on the wooden floor. She offers her right hand to help me get up from the cold floor I didn't notice I was sitting onto. I gladly accepts her hand and stood up.

"Arghh!! You'll pay for this witch! And you, Aven! We're not done yet!", Ionia frustratingly screamed. She walked passed by in front of us and gave us a death glare before leaving with her minions. After the drama between me and Ionia has finally come to an end, all the students that have witnessed the incident gradually flee and went on their afternoon classes. I bet this will be a talk in the whole university tomorrow, again. Ugh!

"Are you okay?", the girl asked me. I was a bit startled by her voice as I haven't much recovered from the dispute between me and Ionia a while ago. She probably noticed my worried face so she just smiled at me and said, "Hi! I'm Amethyst Campbell. Pleasure to meet you!"

I didn't reply back and just stared at her face. She has an innocent beauty and a kind look on her face. Her smile looks so soothing that it actually calmed me down a little. Maybe I could trust her? She helped me escaped from Ionia, but what if she's like the other students?

"Hey! Hey! Can you hear me?". I was once again drove out of my thoughts with Amethyst's loud and chirpy voice.

"Huh?", I mindlessly asked.

"I'm asking for your name?", she questioningly asked.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something. I'm Aven Mintz. A pleasure to meet you", I introduced with a smile.

"Oh, Aven! Nice name! Based from what I know, Aven came from the Irish origin which means sorrow, but it can also mean pleasant and beautiful. Am I right?".

"Yes, you're right. How did you know?", I amazingly asked.

"I just know it HAHAHA.", she laughed. "Oh, wait! Before I forgot, I want to ask a favor from you. Would you please tour me around the university to familiarize myself with the places around here?", Amethyst requested.

"Sure. No problem. We can actually start now.", I suggested.

"Yes! Thank you so much, Aven!", she thankfully said.

After that incident, an unexpected friendship grew between Amethyst and I. We became the best of friends. We eat together, study together; we almost do things with the both of us having and supporting each other.

Ever since then, my university life came a lot better. No one dared to abuse and harm me in any way, be it verbally or physically. My professors began to approached and acknowledged my achievements. The university's staffs also began to pay respect on me, and even cleans my locker for me. These all happened ever since I met Amethyst. She changed my life and also my perspective towards privileged people, that somehow there are still some people out there that are genuinely kind and honest.

It's already 12 o' clock in the afternoon when Amethyst asked me to go with her in the practice room of our university. She said she's going to practice her magic ability. She want me to be there so I could guide her since based on her, I'm the most intelligent student in the university. HAHAHA, what a joker! I then agreed on her offer and we went straight to the practice room.

When we entered the practice room, you would first noticed the mirrors pasted on the walls. It is similar to a dance room but more wider. The ceiling is also highly elevated, which is purposely constructed by the university so that students with air and wind magic could adapt and practice their magic abilities more effectively.

As we entered, Amethyst quickly released her magic and made tons of rock-like structures on the floor. While she practices, I sat on the side and watched her. Mindlessly, my thoughts began to wonder around. There, I imagined myself having a magic of crystallization. Of all the magic I knew, the crystallization magic is what I think best suits me. If only I have magic...

My thoughts were cut off when I felt something growing on my palms. I looked at my palms and noticed that it's releasing crystal-like spikes on it. I was terrified from what I saw that I didn't notice that I released it. The spikes bounced on every corner of the room until it reached towards where Amethyst is standing. I tried to shout to warn her but my head began to spin and felt myself slumping on the floor, enveloping by the dark abyss afterwards.

I woke up finding myself laying on a bed. I look to the window on my right and noticed that it's already dark outside. I look around the room and realized that I was in the infirmary of the university. Four wide black walls surrounded me with only one window on my side, and a side table beside me with a flower vase sitting on top of it. The only thing that gives light inside the room are the torches placed on the walls and the rays of light passing through the window panes.

I tried to stand up but failed due to the sudden pain and dizziness I felt pang on my head. I decided to just lay on the bed when suddenly someone knock on the door followed by a familiar voice.

"Aven? May I come in?". Amethyst is here!

"Yes, yes. Come in.", I tiredly said.

"Oh, my! Are you okay?", Amethyst worriedly asked. She rapidly pave her way towards me and held my hand.

"I'm fine, Amethyst. Don't worry." I smiled to reassure her that I'm really okay.

"Can you walk? Let's get you in our dormitory. It's much brighter there, unlike this place. You're held like a prisoner here.", she worriedly and annoyingly said.

"Fine, fine. So you could stop your whining. Help me get up." She helped me stand and we pave our way to my dormitory. While we walked, I asked her, "Amethyst, do you remember what happened before I lost my consciousness?".

"Ahm.. I was practicing building rock golems when I saw you laying on the ground unconscious." It made me even more confused from what she stated. Based from what I remember, I was able to create crystal-like spikes on my palms, then I accidentally release it towards Amethyst's direction. But she looks fine to me right now. Maybe... it was just an illusion?

•••

Weeks have passed and I noticed something weird on my classmates and schoolmates. They always looked at me like I'm a ghost or I'm with a ghost. Some are running away whenever they see me, while others looked at me with worry plastered on their faces. Somehow, Amethyst isn't bothered with how our schoolmates looked at us. She always has a smile on her face and even greets people she meets. By that, it helped me not to be bothered on my surroundings and how the students in the university treats us. I just shove it off of my shoulders like nothing happened and this is all thanks to Amethyst, again.

•••

It's already 10 o' clock in the evening when I decided to take a rest. I laid on my bed in our dormitory and pulled up my blanket up to my chin. I closed my eyes and let the darkness consume me.

I'm in the practice room of our university with Amethyst. She's practicing her magic, while I sat around the corner watching her. To entertain myself, I imagined I have the magic of crystallization. When suddenly, I felt something growing on my palms. I looked at my palms and noticed that it's releasing crystal-like spikes on it. I was terrified from what I saw that I accidentally released the spikes. The spikes bounced across the room until it reached Amethyst's direction. I tried to shout to warn her but it was too late. She was directly stabbed by the spikes on her chest. Blood starts coming out of her mouth and blood stains turned her beautiful lavender dress to a crimson red hue. She knelt and smiled at me for the last time.

"Thank you, Aven. Sayonara." ("Goodbye")

I suddenly woke up and noticed tears dripping down my face. Impossible. My dream... It's not true, right? I killed her. I killed Amethyst. But I'm just with her yesterday. How's that possible? No, it can't be. No, no, no. NO!! I didn't kill her. I.. I totally didn't. But... I did. I saw it. I was the one. I... really... did... killed her. I killed my best friend.

"NO!!"

Ionia's POV

I'm sitting with my "minions" on a special table that is only reserved for me, which is placed right in the corner of the university's cafeteria. Remember, I'm "The Nexus Sorceress" so I'm getting a special treatment, which I think I truly deserves. The cafeteria isn't that wide for me. Actually, my bedroom is more wider than this place, ugh! The university need to change their old wooden floors and instead replace it with tiled floors. The creeks of the floor scares me. I might get a scar if ever it breaks in no time. Ugh! Definitely, I do not want that to happen. They also need to renovate their windows and make it even more wider to make this place more cooler. It's too hot in here, ugh! I should have entered on a better university than risk my beauty burned here. I don't know why my idiot father made his one and only beautiful daughter enter a university this vile and ugly. Ugh!!

While I sip my favorite tropical drink, I noticed that I haven't seen Aven around the university since morning. This is the first time she skipped her morning classes and also the first time that she's absent, if ever she will not attend her afternoon classes. That girl is a nerd and she never missed any of her classes. Weird.

Hmp! Never mind. Maybe she realized that she don't belong here and left on her own accord. HAHAHAHAHA! You chose the right decision, Aven. Good decision. I then smiled with that thought and continued to sip on my drink.

Aven's POV

I went where Amethyst was said to be buried, the Nexus Cemetery. As I entered, I slowly breathe to ready myself from what I'm about to see. I walk and roam my eyes around the cemetery until I saw I name that is familiar to me. I walk towards a grave and there I saw her.

R. I. P

In memory of

Amethyst Campbell

Oct. 7, 3120 - Jan. 29, 3137

I look at her grave and tears started to fall on my face. I still can't accept the fact that my one and only genuine best friend is now gone, and that she died on my hands.

"So-rry, so-rry. I'm so-rry... I'm so so-rry, Amethyst. I-It's my fault you're down there. I'm rea-lly so-rry. I-I hope you would for-give me for what I-I did. I-I should have been the one dead and not you. It should've been me! Me! ME!".

I knelt down and poured all of my regrets, self-blame, and longing on her grave. I cried so hard that it became harder for me to breathe and to even speak. I cried and screamed all of my agony and pain until I didn't I realized I fell asleep.

I woke up feeling my eye bags heavy and felt my voice became hoarse from all the crying I did. I stood up from the earthy grass I didn't know I laid onto, and once again look at Amethyst's grave. I felt my eyes water and I felt crying again. But I evitable my tears from falling because I know that Amethyst doesn't want me to see looking like this. Before leaving, I smiled at her grave for the last time then bid my good bye.

"Goodbye, Amethyst. I know you don't want me seeing miserable so I will try my best to move on and accept the fact that you're really gone. I just hope that to our next life, the same accident wouldn't happen again and that we will be always together for eternity. But for now, I guess it's only me from now on. So long, Amethyst. Sayonara (Goodbye)."

[aerisan-ace]

Welcome to my blog!

(psst, read more for extras)

My name is Aeris, but I also go by

-Ace

-Aeri

Or just Raisin!

Some facts about me/this blog:

-I go by She/Her pronouns!

-I actually prefer not to label it, (for now) But for specifics: I'm Bisexual(probably) and most likely on the Acespec.

-I have bad memory and tend to forget details about myself.. I like green though.

-I mostly ramble about stuff that just pops into my mind randomly. So if you're here for a specific thing... I don't think I'll be doing that thing again anytime soon (maybe)🧍‍♀️

-A burnt out specimen using this blog to spread the wildfires

-I do not stick to one thing; I am not committed to a single thing for long periods of time.

-I love angsty and bittersweet stories. Give me sad endings!! Give me doomed relationships (familial, romantic, platonic)!!

-My posts are mostly consisted of me sleep deprived posting (thank you insomnia) so if my posts are wuh-oh! weird as fuck, my brain is operating at 0.2mp/h

-I talk in a weird, NPC-ish way when I respond to people. (thanks for one of my disc friends for pointing that out). I am not a robot, I just have bad social skills ;v;

MY FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTISTS:

- Jorge Rivera-Herrans

- Jack Stauber

- Mitski

- Laufey

- The Crane Wives

- Marina and The Diamonds

- girls in red

- Alex G

- Will Wood

- Dodie

- Naethan Apollo

- The Front Bottoms

MY CURRENT INTERESTS:

- EPIC: THE MUSICAL 🙏 🙏!!!!!!!!

- Manhwas

- Minecraft (Specifically potion stuff)

- Roblox

- DARK DOME GAMES!!

- Rusty Lake 🙏🙏

- poetry!!