#maybe some self ship to keep myself sane

[ruanais]

beating myself up over finding out one of my closest mutals support Israel and I’m gonna cry cause I KNOW I got too attached to them. rah. expect angst lovelies <3

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Ok thoughts 👏thoughts👏Everyone gather around I have thoughts about this!

Episode 2 was clearly the Pomni episode. We got to see her character get a little more fleshed out and we also got a glimpse of what motivates her which is great.

With this tweet we have solid confirmation on who the upcoming episodes will center on (thanks for not making us guess, Goose) and this lineup is really interesting.

First fascinating thing is that Kinger and Zooble share a spotlight in ep 3. Why is that? Everyone else gets their own dedicated episodes so why are they unique in that regard? What connects them?

Well, I have one idea!

So we know since the pilot that Kinger has been the one to have lived in the Circus the longest out of all of them. We’re still not sure if he was in fact the 1st human to be trapped (maybe we’ll find out in the next episode) but he definitely has the most seniority, both in age and in length of entrapment.

We also know that Zooble was the most recent character to get stuck before Pomni (and considering their attitude, it may have even been quite a while beforehand) AND is the youngest character next to Jax (they even share the same age, which could be a coincidence but it feels too deliberate of a choice).

Which means ep 2 will simultaneously focus on the oldest and the youngest of the characters.

I’m actually curious as to what their dynamic will be because they haven’t really interacted much in the pilot (and like not at all in episode 2), if they end up interacting in ep 3 at all. But mostly I’m excited to see them more fleshed out with hopefully Pomni getting the chance to bond with them (either together or separately).

My guess is that the purpose for them to share focus on an episode is to get perspective from someone who’s been there the longest and has seen more people come and go than anyone else vs. someone who was just recently in Pomni’s shoes and had probably a much different first day experience (we know Zooble cared enough about Kaufmo to personally organize his funeral so they may have some…feelings about who’s essentially his replacement).

Ep3 is also supposedly Gooseworx’s most anticipated episode so I’m extra excited.

Next we have Gangle for episode 4. I honestly don’t have a lot to say about her or the significance in her episode placement outside of her being the closest in age to Pomni (being only a year older). The only hint we get about what her episode will possibly consist of will be on how reliant she is on her ComedyMask to feel happy, which will be very interesting and we might even get some confirmation on whether her avatar was programmed with that feature upon entering the Circus or if it was an add on of sorts by Caine to help keep her sane. A pretty shitty feature if it can’t last for very long but it does make for a nice metaphor about how fragile her facade is (girl is literally masking).

Actually I don’t think her and Pomni have actually exchanged words yet in the show. Wouldn’t it be funny if they don’t up until her episode. Like Pomni is so caught up in between whatever mess episode 3 has in store for Kinger and Zooble that the two of them never actually talk and it just keeps getting more awkward. Gangle wants to talk to her but is so self-conscious about her Tragedy self that she’ll only feel safe to have a conversation if she has her mask, but it just keeps breaking before she even gets the chance.

Again this is all just speculation, if they actually end up talking in episode 3 I’ll…make ship art of them.

Yeah

Anyway, episode 5. The one I’m personally waiting for because y’all should know what I’m about by now.

*Warning: Unhinged, borderline psychotic tangent incoming*

I swear to god if Pomni and Ragatha don’t have a fucking conversation before ep 5 I will launch myself into the sun. I’ll take anything, I just need them to get real for a second. I NEED to know the extent of this woman’s damage. It has to be explored, analyzed, and dissected and I will do so with gusto when the day comes. None of these characters will be safe from my scrutiny, but Ragatha oh ho ho, you have been living rent free in my head for too long, madame. You WILL pay your dues and I intend to collect in every episode until there is not corner of your unsound mind that I have not examined in great detail!

Ahem *Straightens tie* Ok back to business

So yeah, Ragatha.

It may be because we’ve only had 2 episodes but I can’t help but feel like we’re supposed to see Ragatha as a sort of deuteragonist since out of all of the supporting characters she’s so far been getting the most focus aside from Jax, and we’ll get to him in a minute (I promise that’s not just me being biased, or maybe it is, I don’t know, you tell me).

In just two episodes we’ve seen more of what makes her tick compared to anyone else. And of the main cast she’s been the ONLY one to make any kind of connection to the main character and have enough of a meaningful interaction with her to leave an impression.

But this is what really clinched her role as a deuteragonist for me, she’s so far been one of the few to have the narrative briefly shift to her perspective to give us significant character moments like these:

The show REALLY wants us to see just how NOT ok she is.

If she’s meant to be the heart of the group, her heart already can’t take much more damage. Her friendship (if you can call it that, it’s so painfully one sided right now) with Pomni clearly means a lot to her, so much so that her entire sense of self worth seems to be tied to it (and if you’ve been paying attention, she doesn’t have a lot of that as it is). It would be nice to see their connection gradually grow before her designated episode, where she might experience actual growth for herself.

And if episode 2 is any indication of how this show preserves friendships well…

Yeah, I don’t think she’s gonna make it.

In fact, I’m willing to bet actual money that she’s either gonna abstract in episode 5 or episode 6.

Which brings us to Jax’s episode! The other deuteragonist…tritagonist? He definitely shares some degree of significant narrative focus along with Pomni and Ragatha. He’s both an active antagonist force and one of the only characters to drive the plot forward every time he’s on screen (then there’s that weird thing where he keeps breaking the fourth wall).

He has so much significance in the story that Gooseworx gave him his own bullet point in her list of content warnings (this could also be a joke, but I mean it would be funny to see just how despicable they can make this character).

Gooseworx also described Jax and Pomni’s relationship in the show as “messy”. After episode 2, I don’t think she considers him as a candidate for any kind friendship like she did for the others, and who could blame her? In just two days the guy abandoned her to deal with an abstraction and chucked her out of a truck. He’s no one’s favorite person, and he relishes that. Bunnyboy definitely has some issues that Pomni would pick up on the more she’s forced to spend time with him. To the point where I can see her trying to eventually form some kind of bridge because, as her previously established character motivation implies, she’s not the kind of person to intentionally leave anyone high and dry. But unlike the rest of the crew, I don’t think Jax would be inclined to change for the better just because someone took pity on him. He seems like the kinda guy to dig his heels in and commit to his bad behavior out of spite.

And for his episode to come after Ragatha’s, why do I get the feeling the reason Gooseworx went so far as to preemptively apologize to bunnydoll shippers specifically is because he’s gonna cause something really really bad to happen to her (could be abstraction, could even be something much worse) that he would come to sorely regret.

And oh boy would that evoke some feelings in everyone!

I feel like if that is indeed the direction this show is going, the rest of the episodes will really be something.

I’m also certain Caine will get his own episode but right now he is very much an antagonist to these characters. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a villain, but he’s certainly not someone Pomni is keen on sympathizing with, at least not currently.

Thanks again @lilyclawthorne for helpfully providing me with the tweet so I can give some context for my ramblings of the week!

[starlit-dreaming]

☼ re: itbomm [masterpost] ☾

Fandom: WMMAP (Who Made Me A Princess) Rating: M (due to sensitive content) Major/Eventual Ships: OC x OC, Lucathy Minor Ships: Felily, Claudiana, Calena, and more Last Updated: 4/25/2024 Summary:

“Maybe next time.”

Athan was what one might call an anti-fan for The Lovely Princess novel — that is, he loved to hate it. It was total garbage, but the writing was pretty lit. Imagine his surprise when he finds himself reborn as a baby in that same garbage novel’s universe.

Or rather, a Lovely Princess fanfic he always reread in his previous life.

//A retelling wherein Athanasia has a younger twin brother… or at least, that’s what it should’ve been.

Author Notes:

1. Toska by Starshine-Dreaming does NOT exist as an actual fanfic.

It’s meant to be a bit of an inside joke and to reference myself (as my username is Starlit-Dreaming and I wanted to indulge in a few jokes to keep myself sane during the long writing process), but it’s possible that Toska will actually be written one day, but that would have to wait years down the line.

2. While I never mention actual fanfics in my stories, manhwas will be referenced with their full titles (usually in their English titles) for those interested.

3. This is a rewrite.

Some things will remain the same, and some things won’t be. The main difference for returning readers is that Athan and Athy will both have different recollections of The Lovely Princess, in which Athy read the novel and Athan was obsessed with a fanfic version of it.

4. Every chapter is, more or less, named from a song lyric. I do have a playlist being worked on, but it’ll stay as a WIP until the completion of this fic. Probably.

5. Unlike before, I will be showcasing the whole telepathy in ‘bold’ while actual thoughts will remain in ‘italics’. This is to avoid any confusion and to emphasize what’s being told to another character versus what’s being self-contained. Texts that are completely italicized are flashbacks and dream scenes.

CW/Content Warnings:

• Suicide (eventually discussed, mostly implied/referenced with the exception of certain chapters)

• Death (discussions/referenced)

• Murder (implied/referenced)

• Sexual Assault (eventually implied/referenced)

• Child Abuse (implied/referenced)

• Child Neglect (implied/referenced/discussed)

• Depression (implied/referenced/discussed)

• Unrequited Love

• Toxic Relationship (eventually implied/referenced)

• Unreliable Narrator

• Transphobia (internalized and past mentions)

• Dead Names (dead names will be used)

• Emetophobia (mentioned)

• Pedophilia (mentioned adult/minor relationship)

• Kidnapping

• Homophobia (internalized and past mentions)

• Infidelity (discussions and mentions)

Possibly More to be Added

Please inform me of any potential triggers that might affect you so that I’m made aware of whether or not it’s something to be added!

ALSO, due to the fact that this story heavily features suicide and grief, it will NOT be mentioned as an individual chapter warning unless it’s explicitly shown or deliberately discussed.

——————————

☼   MASTERLIST  ☾

——————————

Prologue

0 || an unfinished prologue

ACT 1: Beginning of The End

1 || let��s just live day by day

2 || we always knew that it’d come to this

3 || crystal clear, chlorinated and sky blue

4 || and i sank into the water

5 || and now i know there’s something more

TBD

///// EVERYTHING BELOW IS SUBJECTED TO CHANGE

ACT 2: Toska’s Villainess

Verena’s Intro + Athy’s Mini Coma Arc

TBD

Act 3: War Prevention Committee

General Intro + Hunting Comp Pre-Req

TBD

ACT 4: Competition and Revelations

Hunting Comp

TBD

ACT 5: In For A Pound, In For A Penny

Study Abroad Arc

Part 1 (8-9 y/o) - making friends

Part 2 (9-11 y/o) - in which autumn ruins plot

Part 3 (11-13 y/o) - athan gets Realizations^tm

TBD

ACT 6: Quand C’est Fini (“When It’s Over”)

tl;dr Lottie’s Arc

TBD

ACT 7: To Be Right Is To Be Wrong

Débutante Arc

TBD

ACT 8: Soaring High Into The Skies

Imposter Syndrome

TBD

ACT 9: To Be Driven by Obsession

Kidnapping Arc

TBD

ACT 10: “Maybe Next Time.”

Wish

TBD

ACT 11: A Dream That Will Never Be

Truths

TBD

ACT 12: End of The Beginning

TBD

Finale

Additional / After Stories

[clonesupport]

thank you for the tags @detectivelokis and @strangefable!💖

three ships: not to be that butch but my own ronnie x max will always be one of my favourites, i also don’t wanna single anyone out so imma stick with character ships; arthur morgan x charles because my poor little heart loves them, and booth x bones cuz that’s my childhood right there

first ship: i honestly don’t remember, but i was always a self shipper so it’s probably something recent since i started making ocs tbh TwT so probably ronnie x max

currently consuming: nothing, i just woke up and i’m a dehydrated human being TwT

currently watching: narcos, game of thrones, yellowstone, my holy grails right there, when am i not rewatching those three shows-

last movie: uuummmm i honestly don’t remember- wait omfg it was king fu panda 3 when i was trying to keep myself sane while dealing with my endo in the beginning of the month AHAHAHAHAHAHA

last song: all to you - sabrina claudio, listen this song fucks and i’ve been streaming my cullen playlist for like three days and i can’t stop thinking about/listening to this song

currently reading: i don’t read fanfiction ever since i started writing it tbh TTwTT but i’ve gotten my hands on the court of thorns and roses and it’s pretty solid, which is surprising cuz i really don’t read AHAHAHA

currently craving: miso ramen with ajitama and some karaage, maybe a japanese cream soda float too, i miss good asian food TTTTT there’s none here where i live, had to binge eat when i visited my parents two weeks ago for the holidays, i already miss it

idk who hasn’t been tagged yet or who’s done it, i’ve been so out of it lately TwT but imma tag @captastra @sstewyhosseini @confidentandgood @galaxycunt @gayafsatan @moonlit-jellies @incognito-insomniac @roofgeese and anyone who wants to try it! (forgive me for any retags and such TwT)

[secretshinigami]

All Noble Things

Author: @kiranatrix For: @resilicns Pairings/Characters: Near and Gevanni Rating/Warnings: Gen, no warnings Prompt: Near reflecting on his relationship with Wammy’s and L’s reputation Author’s notes: In How to Read, it says that Gevanni’s hobby is building ships in a bottle. So I imagined a scene where Near is observing Gevanni, now in the role of Watari, building a special ship. The time period is flexible but I imagined it after the C-Kira case and before the case with Minoru. This is a loose interpretation of your prompt but I hope you enjoy it!

—

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, Gevanni.” Near didn’t look up as he carefully laid out another domino on the floor, perfectly spaced from its neighbor and approximately two centimeters from chaos. Pinched fingers pulled back carefully and twisted around a strand of white hair. “Two things, really.”

Gevanni looked up from his workbench as the long but comfortable silence between them was broken. Since Roger had died and he’d taken on the role of Watari, he was usually the question-asker. Would you like lunch now? Have you heard back about this or that piece of evidence? Did you have another nightmare last night? 

He’d gotten used to it, to Near. To being the bedrock that an island could rest upon. “Two questions?”

No, he was more of a species imported to Near’s world and being gradually altered by the isolation, evolving to fill his niche. But he had no complaints–it was a quiet, stable life and Near paid him well. He didn’t mind the solitude. “You’re exceeding your daily allotment. I’ll have to demand a raise if this keeps up.”

“I believe I gave you a raise just three months ago. If these demands keep up, I’ll have to find another Watari.” Near deadpanned it but his eyes flicked up briefly, and Rester knew he was joking. Another domino clinked against the terrazzo floors, this one with hand-carved scrimshaw detailing a breaching whale.

Gevanni snorted and turned back to the ship in a bottle he was working on. “Good luck finding someone else to source those pajamas with the specific blend of Pima cotton you prefer. I’ve kept that a secret. Iron-clad job security.” He grinned as he carefully reached a long wire into the bottle to pat down blue and white putty mimicking ocean waves. “So, what’s question number one?”

“Can you tie back my hair? It keeps getting in the way.” Near flicked a long strand over his shoulder but it fell again, dangling dangerously close to his creation. “Mind the–”

“Dominos? Yeah, I’m practically a ninja at this point.” Gevanni pushed his loupe glasses to the top of his head before carefully making his way over spiraling lines of set-up dominos to Near at the center. He knelt and pulled a hair-tie from his pocket, holding it between his teeth as he gathered up all the silvery strands. “Holf spill,” he murmured around the band. Near was stone-still as he made a quick and slightly messy ponytail, leaving some loose hair around the face for twirling. “Better?”

“Much. Thank you.” Near very briefly made eye contact as Gevanni went back to his workbench before looking back to his pile of dominos. He sorted through them for another scrimshaw piece. Gevanni had made a special set for him on his last birthday but he always saved them for the end. 

“Mmhm.” Gevanni slid back into his chair and picked up the little ship, a model of a 19th-century whaler. “So what was the second question?” 

“I was curious what you were working on.” Near let a domino tumble across his knuckles, back and forth, back and forth. “You’ve never spent that much time on just one ship before.” He caught the domino with his thumb and placed it next in line. 

“Oh, so you noticed?” Gevanni held up the little whaler on his palm, clearly proud of the highly detailed craftsmanship. All the masts were down and tied with an array of strings that could be pulled up once it was in the bottle to raise them. “I guess this one’s special since it doesn’t really exist. Thought I’d challenge myself. It’s…well, it’s how I imagine the Pequod to look, the whaling ship in–“

“Moby Dick?” Near stared at the miniature vessel, head slightly cocked as he smoothed a loose strand of hair. “The ship Captain Ahab used to chase his white whale.”

Gevanni smiled. “That’s right. It’s one of my favorite books. Have you read it?” 

“Years ago. I remember not liking it very much. The whale killed him in the end.” Near placed the last couple of dominos and let out a long sigh. The moments before flicking the first piece were the ones he both cherished and dreaded. The satisfaction of creation could be drawn out like a  monotone note, but when it was finished, the spectacular destruction was often over too soon. So, he hesitated and stood up instead, padding to Gevanni’s workbench to watch more creation. 

“I bet you’d like the book more these days. Single-minded obsession to defeat a power past human control? Throwing all caution and sense of self-preservation to the wind? The thrill of the chase?” Gevanni arched a brow. “Can’t tell me that doesn’t sound familiar.”

Near frowned slightly and hunched in on himself. “I suppose you mean L. Or do you characterize me as so foolish?”

“You’re L now.” Gevanni disliked that he had to remind Near of that even now, years after the first L had died. “But yes, it reminds me of what Matsuda told us about your predecessor’s obsession with Kira. I never met the first L, but maybe I can understand him, in a way.” He quoted Melville, "All my means are sane, my motive and my object mad.’ You’re L but you’re not him, and I’m glad for it.”

Near wasn’t sure if he was glad for it or not. So many times over the years he’d compared himself to that avatar and wondered if he could measure up. Drily, “I guess that makes me Ishmael." 

"You survived, didn’t you? Lived to tell the tale and learn what he couldn’t." 

Gevanni turned back to the little ship, carefully threading another string through the rear-most mast. He worked quietly for a while, cognizant of Near’s focused attention and feeling sorry for bringing up the Kira case. It wasn’t often that Near took such an interest in his own projects, or perhaps the man was merely thinking about what he’d said. “Sit down, if you want to. I’m about to get to the exciting part.”

Near pulled a chair closer and slinked into it, one leg pulled tight to his chest and the other dangling off the end. “Which is the exciting part? Stuffing it into the bottle?”

“That’s part of it. The thrilling part for me is raising the masts and sails inside the bottle.” Gevanni pointed to the flat masts and the multiple lines of string leading from them. “If anything goes wrong or a string gets tangled…or some bit of glue doesn’t hold, well–”

“You’re screwed.” Near smiled faintly and rested his chin on his knee. “Hours of planning for one moment of glory. Or disaster.” It also sounded familiar, so familiar.

“Exactly.” Gevanni chuckled and looked over at Near, pleased to see that small, rare smile. That in itself was the product of so much patience, of hours spent in understanding and the slow building of confidence and trust. “Once I get the ship in, would you like to raise the sails?”

Near’s eyes widened and he rocked slightly in the chair. That was Gevanni’s moment of glory and he deserved it after so much time and hard work. The inlaid wood, the meticulous paint, the delicately carved and articulated ship’s wheel capped in brass. The hand-sewn sails and gold script that read Pequod on the ship’s side. Each detail was evidence that someone else had built this and he would only be stealing the best part, swooping in for the end of the trick.

“You built it so you should do it.” It didn’t help that he was worried about making a mistake and ruining it at the last moment. How would it even fit? Despite the masts lying flat, it seemed impossible that the ship would make it inside the bottle. “I don’t know how.”

Gevanni sensed Near’s hesitation and uncertainty, recognizing the subtle tics of anxiety. “I can show you. You’re great at stuff like this.” He motioned to the vast lines and towers of dominos filling the room. “Plus, I trust you.” 

When Near didn’t answer, he turned back to the ship, placing a small line of glue at the bottom and oh-so-carefully maneuvering it into the narrow mouth of the glass bottle and onto the ‘waves’ of translucent blue putty. It was a very tight fit and when it stuck down in the right position, he let out a sigh of relief.

“Not bad, huh?” The strings dangled from the bottle’s mouth as he held it up to show Near. “Offer still stands.”

Near wanted to do it, to try. Honestly, he wanted to ask Gevanni to show him how to build one of his own, how to trump the rigid enclosure and build something impossible inside. To raise it up not by magic but by human ingenuity and patience. A creation not to destroy but to keep.

“Alright.” His fingers moved from his hair to tentatively touch the white strings hanging from the bottle’s mouth. “All of them?”

“Just these.” Gevanni pointed out several lines connected to the three masts. “Don’t yank, just pull slowly until you feel resistance and I’ll tape them up.”

“If it works.”

Gevanni laughed quietly. “It’ll work. Stop stalling.”

Near mumbled, “I’m not stalling,” but stalled a moment more before gently tugging the strings. He made a soft noise in the back of his throat when all three masts raised in unison, perfectly aligned and straight. He smiled as Gevanni secured the strings, then slid off the chair to gaze at the bottle from the side. This floating world, this impossible thing that’s bottled the sea. “I can see why you like these so much.” 

“It passes the time.” Gevanni felt warm inside since it was rare that they connected like this, despite all the time spent in each other’s company. He glued the strings to the ship with a long wire and then cut them, leaving no trace of how it had really been made. Setting it on the bench to dry, he said, “Would you like to have it? I have about a dozen. I mean, if you want it.”

“As a warning against white whales?” Near smirked and climbed back into the chair. He fingered the hem of his specially-ordered Pima cotton pajamas, the exact blend he preferred. “Or for the memory of Ahab?”

“Neither? Or…maybe both.” Gevanni knew that so much had changed for Near when Kira died. Monster or not, that moment of destruction had ultimately felt unsatisfying. He knew Near struggled with assuming the name and reputation of L, a legacy that had become so confused in the mind of a world that would never know two L’s had died and a third now had to make peace with that. It was easier to bottle ships than emotions.

Mildly, “Or maybe just because it’s something we built together.” It was odd, but somehow it would mean a lot to him for Near to have it. “How about it?” 

Near found a loose string at the hem of his pants and yanked it, snapping the thread. He got up and crouched beside the winding, spiraling rows of dominos and pressed a slender finger against the first one. That catalyst set off the reaction, the staccato clack clack clack! that echoed in the high-ceilinged room. It was over in seconds and silence crept in again. 

“I’d like that.”

-End-

[The title comes from a quote in Moby Dick: "A noble craft, but somehow a most melancholy. All noble things are touched with that.” It reminded me of  Gevanni’s rather solitary hobby as well as the occupation of solving cases as L.]

[fabricated-misslieness]

Can you do a headcanon or scenario for reaper,mccree,genji,soldier where their s/o shows them that there is some fanfiction and headcanons about them?

Genji, McCree, Reaper, and Soldier: 76 x gender neutral reader 

What’s up with all this 4th wall breaking shit

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Swearing

Gabriel Reyes

The man already has trust issues, so the minute he sees a ‘photo’ of himself, he’s skeptical. He’s not as much of a boomer as people paint him out to be, in fact, he’s not even gen z, so the first thing he does is check the publish date.

He’s silent, but he’s freaking out in his head. 

The date is recent. He wouldn’t have pardoned it completely if it were from around the time when he was the Overwatch Strike Commander, but compared to something recent? Talon isn’t one for going public, neither is Blackwatch, so how the hell would people get their hands on a photo of him?

He assumes the post is something either exposing him, news about something he did, a wanted poster, or some rando somewhere that somehow got a picture of him and was asking who he was.

He’s so consumed in creating plausible reasons as to why there’s a picture of him, that he almost forgets to read the title. Almost.

“ ‘Reaper x gender neutral reader’ ” He reads under his breath. He pauses for a second, contemplating. “What the fuck.”

He knows what this means, vaguely remembers it from when he was younger, 40 years ago. Damn that made him feel old, but this isn’t the focus right now.

First of all, how would somebody be attracted to him? No offense to his s/o, but who would fall in love with a masked man? If only you knew, Gabe.

Second, how-- what? The fuck? People shouldn’t even know of his existence, yet here this was.

“Gabe, you good?” He doesn’t look good, but you ask anyway.

“No.” His response is immediate. He’s not good, he’s not good at all. He’s not even going to read this thing, he’s going to go straight to Talon and find out who the fuck told anybody about his entire existence.

“It’s nothing.” You hold him back from standing up, reassure him with one of your caring smiles. But this time, it doesn’t work.

He’s uneasy, creeped out, and a little angry. Imagine how hard it would be as a Talon executive if everybody knew who he was.

Talon and publicity don’t mix.

“Honey, not everybody knows about you.” Your attempts to reassure him are futile.

Anyway, this results in even more trust issues and some dead Talon workers.

 

Genji Shimada

“Genji.” You called, patting the spot next to you. The fact that your smile was a little eager and you looked excited made him a bit hesitant. What did you have for him today?

The last time you were this excited, you had something weird to show him.

“Look.” You held out your phone in front of him.

The first thing he saw was a picture of himself. It was a little creepy because of how much detail it had, but he brushed it off, seeing as during his last few years of the organization were Overwatch years. If he were still in Blackwatch he would definitely be creeped out.

The second thing he saw was the title, ‘Genji x gender neutral reader’ “What does that mean?” He asked.

“It’s fanfiction.” You replied.

“Fanfiction? What’s-- Oh.” He vaguely remembers what fanfiction is from his younger years. He wasn’t particularly one for reading them, even with his crushes on some fiction characters, but one of his best friends did.

Then it dawned on him. “Wait, Genji x… Oh. Oh! What the fu--”

He nearly yeets your phone away from himself. If you weren’t there to stop him, he would’ve yeeted it. 

He’s confused to all hell. “WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! HOW DO THEY KNOW WHO I AM?! WHY ARE THEY ATTRACTED TO A CYBORG?!”

That’s… quite the insult to you, seeing as you’re dating him…

Anyway, you literally have no idea either, but hey, his reaction was fun. Genji wondered what they would do if they knew you two were dating. Then he remembered, ships are a thing and we’re a literal ship come true. All the explicit, r-rated, angst, fluff, crack that would be written--

He looks like he’s having an existential crisis.

To lighten the situation, you decide to let him read it. Even though that was the cause of all these problems, why did you suggest this--?

He’s so silent throughout the whole thing that you might even think he’s overheated if he didn’t have his mask off.

When he’s done, he looks up and around the room. Unbeknownst to you, he’s trying to find the ‘cameras’ that are surely in here somewhere. How else would they know about him?

Once he accepts that there are no cameras, and in fact, there is no way that anybody could be this accurate, yet they are, he gives up.

“How are they so accurate?” He sighs, sinking into the couch.

“Let’s not think about that.” You try to reassure him, you try to pull the phone away from him but he holds on tight.

He narrows his eyes at you, “How many are there?”

36, counted them myself. 36?! 

“A lot.” Your reply was vague… judging by your look, it was on purpose.

“(y/n), what the fuck.”

To sum it up, existential crisis.

 

Jack Morrison

“What’s this?”

He’s not startled by the picture of him, since he was the commander of Overwatch, they even made a statue of him. But then he realizes this isn’t any old picture of him, this is a picture of him in the present, with his old grey and visor instead of the usual blonde and young look.

He has to hold himself back from cursing up a storm. As much as he wants to, it wouldn’t help the situation.

He moves from the picture to the title, hoping that it’s either just a coincidence, somehow, or some picture of him from street cameras, even if it was in good quality.

“Soldier: 76 x gender neutral reader.” He reads to himself. “What?”

“It’s fanfiction.”

“What’s that?” Oh, he is such an old man. Even though Reaper is older than him, he knows.

You have to explain it all to him. The definition of the word ‘fanfiction’ itself weirds him out, but to learn that it’s both fanfiction and self-shipping of him himself and the reader?

“How do they know who I am?”

“I don’t know, dear.” You reply. This was not a good idea.

He moves on curiously to reading the contents of said fanfiction. The way he talks, the way they describe how much of a private man he is, it feels like they’ve written him just like he is.

It’s eary, and it creeps him out to hell to the point of sending a shiver down his spine.

“Did you make this?” He asks. He knows you wouldn’t do something like this, but he’s only hoping that you made this only to keep himself sane.

“No.”

Without the protection of hope, his mind wanders all places. This isn’t a coincidence. What is this? Who made this? Do I have to smother the source?

Panic settles in.

This is your fault now, you have to make sure he either forgets this or that the author means no harm.

Panik Boy

 

Jesse McCree

“D-Darling, what is this?” He lets out a nervous laugh at the sight of himself. How the hell did they make it look just like him? Maybe it was a thank you gift, like a painting of gratitude for his vigilante work, that ought to explain it, right?

Then he read the title, ‘Jesse McCree x gender neutral reader’. “What does this mean?”

“It’s a ship,” He nods and hums, he knows what ships are. His cousin had plenty of them from one of their Thursday afternoon cartoons when they were younger. “Of the reader, the one reading the story--”

“It’s a story?” Jesse interrupts, his brow is raised and he looks thoroughly confused.

“Yes, it’s a story,” You continue, stating your sentences like a teacher would a toddler. “The reader, being shipped with you.”

“W-With me?” The fact that he’s stuttering should be giveaway enough for you to tell he’s conflicted. “Wha-- How would that work?”

You explained again, this time slower and with more detail, hoping he’d understand.

He did this time, but of course you’d have questions to answer.

Why did you think this was a good idea?

“Well how do they know about me? I haven’t done any interviews or nothin’.”

God you wish you knew. Maybe if you did it’d be funnier. “No idea, babe.”

He had many questions but he didn’t want to bother you with them, since you probably didn’t know the answers based on that question. So instead, he focused on the fan fiction itself.

The way they described what he said, it was just like how he talked. They nailed the accent. They knew all his habits, his personality… how the hell did they know?

He puts the phone away and reassures you he’s fine, but you’re sure he’s not fine.

He has trust issues after this, he can’t help but think for at least 5 seconds about anybody around him and their ulterior motives.

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[bringingglory]

thank you so much for the tags @hanamuri @fullmetalscullyy @megthemighty @nightofnyx8 @tsaritsa !

How many works do you have on AO3? 11! some are botw, one is tdiapt, some are fma, and some are haikyuu! i mostly just write for whatever im interested in at the moment/whichever fandom inspiration strikes for

What's your total AO3 word count? 101,939

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Keep Your Friends Closer But Your Enemies Closer - T: ahhhh my miraculous ladybug fic! ive literally been working on her for FOREVER and i swear to god im going to finish it, i literally know how i want to end it and i know all the events leading up to it. hell, i even have a vague idea of what i want to happen in the middle, i just need to know what order the middle stuff happens in and also i just have to write it. It's an AU where Ladybug and Chat Noir are actually enemies but then Chat Noir accidentally befriends Marinette and then drama etc etc etc.

rain - G: first zelink fic babey! set Pre-Calamity and basically link and zelda get stuck in a cave because of the rain and there's just a lot of quiet pining, etc etc.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa - T: HAHAHA this was a crack fic inspired by my roommate but then i forgot it was supposed to be a crack fic while writing it and there are accidentally real emotions alkjdfalksdf but anyway it was very fun to write lmao. it was based off this meme and basically it's an AU where Oikawa is Spider-Man and Iwaizumi doesn't know but they still like hang out and stuff. It's a lot of fun, or at least I think it is, haha.

stolen moments - T: first royai fic!!! just a series of "stolen moments" (mic drop) where roy and riza like cant be together but yknow, they try. lots of pining. etc

a secret weapon of sorts - T: 5+1 edwin fic inspired by the Simple People OVA where instead of ed giving winry earrings to get out of trouble, he gives her kisses.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? Yes! I try really hard to!!! Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I don't respond to comments for a while, but I absolutely do my best to when I remember because I feel like it's my way of saying "thank you" for them reading my fics in the first place, haha.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uhhhhh, sleepless I guess? But it's more open-ended/not explicitly positive more than anything, though even then I feel like I've got a hint of hope in there. alkjdfhalsdk idk man I just, I can't write *pure* angst, there's gotta be some light, and thus I could never end anything angstily

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? LMAO most of my fics??? I guess??? bc despite being an anxious piece of shit, I am an optimist by heart

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? When I was younger! Idk, I guess the Rise of the Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons fandom??? if anyone remembers what that is lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not exactly? Maybe some weird comments on KYFCBYEC but even then, it wasn't that often.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No no no no no no no no. I am telling you, I physically cannot write smut. I don't think I actually have the capacity. Absolute fucking kudos to every single smut writer out there bc it truly is an art form capturing that intimacy and emotion and etc, but I literally get flustered from writing mildly detailed kiss scenes. If I ever wrote smut, I would burst into flames on the spot.

Actually lies, I technically wrote smut once, but it was at the request of my roommates and they wanted me to write a crack smut fic of Y/N x our uni's mascot and I wrote that thing in like 3 hours with so many silly memes to keep myself sane (not like other girls, tongues battled for dominance, etc), did not edit it, and because it was so, like, not serious, I was actually able to get through it. But even then, when I wrote "thrusting" I literally had to put my laptop down for 20 minutes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! Someone commented on Your Friendly Neighborhood Oikawa and asked if they could translate it and I said yes! They haven't gotten around to it yet, but I would love to see it if they do!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet!

What’s your all-time favourite ship? Bro it changes day to day. You can't ask me this lmao. The current ship I'm most fixated on is Iwaoi, but I wouldn't say they're my all-time favorite.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I'm not answering this energy. On god, I'm going to finish things. I want to.

What are your writing strengths? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh very good question lmao. I don't really like thinking about "strengths" in my writing bc who am I to say? akjdslakfjdf idk, instead, I'm just gonna say some things I like/try to do in my writing, which are: conversational prose/having a lot of voice in the narration, I try to add humor wherever I can, and recently I've gotten better and metaphors and describing things bc I picked up writing poetry a year ago!

What are your writing weaknesses? hmmm, a thing I dislike about my writing/the writing process is that I'm slow to publish things and slow to finish things because I'm such a messy first drafter and I also take forever to edit. I would like to uhhhhh get things out faster. Also I tend to repeat myself a lot bc I forget the details of things I write sometimes lmao.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Hmmm, I dunno, I guess I don't have any strong thoughts? The only other language I know is Mandarin but even then, I suck ass at that, so I'll prolly never write dialogue in another language simply bc I like to try to portray things semi-realistically and I don't think I have a good enough grasp on any other language the same way I do in English to produce authentic enough dialogue.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fablehaven I guess? But Idk I was in fourth grade an didn't even know what fandom was yet. Rise of the Guardians, maybe?

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

AHHHH idk??? maybe hold your hand out in the dark because i really experimented with my writing on that one and im sort of proud of the result, just like the fact that i wanted to try something new and it turned out alright. that or Sunset Wheeling which is an iwaoi fic where they just skate, and like it's prolly one of the most self-indulgent things i've ever written because it's silly and they just. skate. but aljdfalsjd idk i loved it and i churned it out in 6 days and it was a lot of fun lol

ahhh a bunch of people have been tagged already, so sorry if im tagging you again, but for now im just gonna tag @niconiconina @notkorras @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @firewoodfigs and anyone else who wants do it!

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[the-wondrous-imaginator]

The New Legends of Monkey: Season 2 Thoughts

So, I am a bit disappointed that our fandom is so darn tiny at the moment, but I think ima dwell on all the great stuff this season gave us instead : )

GREAT and not so great STUFF AS FOLLOWS: 

- WOW this season looked so good. I mean, it just seemed a lot more polished in terms of the aesthetic and the fights and all that. Seriously impressed with the upgrades

-Um, the plant? The Sandy development we got? Simply fantastic. We got more exploration of her character, some exciting fight scenes where she kicked butt and plenty of bonding with each member of the crew. Honestly was so scared that she would be overlooked, but she wasn’t. What an interesting, dynamic character. I really can’t wait for her powers and the deep sadness inside her to be explored.

-Tripitaka really is a Disney princess, huh? She completely drives the narrative forward and hold the one and only brain cell in the entire group. Even though I don’t find her quite as easy to love as Sandy, I do still admire her for being so strong and independent. This girl had to make a handful of REAL tough decisions this season and I applaud her. Constantly assaulted by doubts from everyone around her, constantly underestimated. Made of steel, this one. 

-MONKEY. SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE. Legitimately the most complicated character in this whole darn show. He’s self centred and egotistical, but cares so deeply for everyone. He fights non-stop with Tripitaka, but she’s canonically tHE WORLD TO HIM. He just seems so young in some ways, and so old in others. Half the time you know exactly what he’s about to do, and half the time you don’t. In all honesty, I don’t know whether it’s good writing or bad writing, but I was most definately invested. And now he’s essentially been reborn?! Like, will he remember anything? UGH, I just cannot keep up with him. I’m constantly on the edge of my seat whenever he’s on screen. I love it. 

-Pigsy.... probably the most frustrating part of the show. Not him, of course, but all the fat jokes. Like, guys, I’m getting some serious Hunk (Voltron) flashbacks here. PLEASE don’t let his personality be fat jokes, dry humour and cooking. There was almost no real development for him this season, and I am underwhelmed. Like, come on, guys. Monkey gets to be half jokes and half serious, so why not Pigsy? Why let us get attached to him and invested in his trauma if you were just going to turn him into a laugh? Maybe I’m exaggerating here, but it seriously did bug me. Fingers crossed that things change. 

-ROMANCE DISCUSSION TIME. Tripkey. Let’s talk about this. 

I was kind of upset that they lead us on to quite the extent in season one, and then dropped the romance almost entirely in season two and replaced it with bickering, but I have to remind myself that it isn’t that big of a deal. I mean, shipping isn’t the only reason I watch. So, I’m a bit salty, but not McDonalds fries salty. You know? At least we got a couple moments. And we’re probably gonna get another season, if all goes well. There’s still time. Maybe Tripitaka needed to lose Monkey to understand his value? I mean, there was A LOT of arguing between them until the whole dark!Monkey thing happened. I think she needs to understand that, despite his faults, he is one of her best friends. She isn’t just his babysitter. So, even if they don’t end up together romantically, I’d be mostly satisfied if they just both came to grips with their love- platonic or otherwise. 

-OK, so, the villains. Plenty of pros and cons to go with this one. At times they seemed really dumb, at times they were reasonably intimidating, and, at times, downright confusing. I mean, that moth lady definitely seemed like she was telling a lie with that flashback with the fake Monkey and Tripitaka! But it wasn’t brought up again! And that red hand dude was so boring. The blue guard lady  was at least kind of interesting. Funnily enough, the forest-keeper-of-the-scroll lady was probably the most interesting villain. She had real motive. She wasn’t completely evil. I thought she was neat. Her, and (of course) dark!Monkey. Wow. Like, they probably should have introduced him earlier, but he was SO well done. I mean, the fight scenes with him were amazing. The design was great. His dynamic with Monkey made a lot of sense. I mean, he’s essentially the demon version of him. Both have a need for attention and a love for fun, but one values human life and the other does not. Very clear distinction, very interesting to watch. Despite not hating his clone, Monkey realized that, to protect what was most important to him, he needed to destroy it. It really makes you wonder what Monkey’s true motization is- the quest, or just protecting his friends? It’s just amazing to watch him transform when he gets serious about something. 

-Puppet master dude. Knew pretty early on that he was pulling the strings, but still loved the reveal. I thought that he was a much more interesting villain than just “strong armour demon”. Not much to say about him, but he was good. 

-Extra little things: The love potion scene was pure fanservice, and kind of hilarious and kind of cringy. Still processing that bit. 

The boy was cool. I liked him. Didn’t love him, but liked him. I thought it was good for Tripitaka to have a decently sane person around for a change. Always in the mood for appreciating the absolute gems that are decent child actors. 

MONICA IS EVIL NOW- LIKE, WHAT?! DEMON LADY BACK. ME SCREAM. Hopefully bad boi Devarri makes a comeback to team up with her. I lowkey need to know what the heck happened. 

Fake!Tripitaka... was he that boy seen in the flashback burning the body with Monica but disguised? If not, how did he return to life? If so, how did that monk boy have the magic to disguise himself? 

I think that’s all the notes I have right now. I know we’re all starving for content, so I thought I’d toss this out into the interwebs. Fingers crossed that our fandom grows a bit more!

[idlecreature]

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen. 

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’) 

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[soulnottainted]

Hiya!! How about Poseidon, Ares, Hephaestus, Erinyes and Calliope for Papa Prime, Knockout and the Bride

Greek Mythology Self Ship Asks @hedone26

Papa Optimus Prime

Poseidon: Do you and your f/o(s) like to travel? If so, where do you like to go? Is there anywhere you’d like to go that you haven’t yet?

I enjoy when Optimus takes me to natural places that are untouched. We've been to the Nevada National Park quite a bit! I've always wanted to take him where I'm from, in the North East, and show him all the places I've been and show him how I've always grown up!

Ares: Are you ever protective of your f/o(s)? Are they ever protective of you?

I'm protective of Optimus a lot of the time. I know he can hold his own, but I can't help but worry for his safety. He's self-sacrificed himself many times, and I'd be lost without him. I know that Optimus is protective of me too. He'd do anything for me, guard me with his life.

Hephaestus: Do you and your f/o(s) ever like to get gifts for one another? What kind of gifts?

Optimus sometimes goes out in holoform to get me something. Usually its normal human stuff to keep sane like a blanket or maybe a good smelling candle, but he is also a sentimental guy. One time he legit made me a little gift basket out of one of those wooden crates? Apparently June helped him make it, and he gave it to me when I was having a rough time loving myself. It was filled with self-care stuff, like some tea bags I always enjoy, a little box of tea biscuts, some wax melts, and even a hand written card. Optimus' handwriting for a Cybertronian in human form is absolutely beautiful by the way.

As for him, it's hard to get him gifts. I don't know what Cybertronians really need, but I did paint my jean vest to wear every single day, representing the Papa bot I've come to love and know so well.

The Erinyes: How does your f/o (or f/os) respond to someone mistreating you? Do they confront the person? Do they comfort you?

If someone is mistreating me, he has to hold back on confronting whoever hurt me, because he can't allow humans to see the bots....so he uses his holoform to confront them. But that's not before he pulls me aside and let me get my worries out and tears, holding me close to him in autobot form. He talks me through that what I've been through was unacceptable, and that whatever happened wasn't a reflection of myself at all, and that I should rest. His presence alone, autobot or not, would intimidate anyone when not dealing with his soft but strong personality.

Calliope: Do you have any poetry or literature excerpts (or other quotes) that suit your ship?

"You got the heart

You got the motion

You know that when things get too tough

You got the touch" (ofc from The Touch by Stan Bush)

Knockout

Poseidon: Do you and your f/o(s) like to travel? If so, where do you like to go? Is there anywhere you’d like to go that you haven’t yet?

Knockout likes to travel, but he doesn't like dirt roads, he says it ruins his paint. He likes to bring me to famous popular places that are on people's bucket lists to visit, like one time he drove me to Las Vegas to look at the strip's lights. It was super cool.

Ares: Are you ever protective of your f/o(s)? Are they ever protective of you?

I'm protective of KO, sure! But I know he can handle his own enough that I'm not overly protective. As for KO protective of me, sometimes he doesn't like to show it. But if you confront him about it, he will be like 'yes, she's my friend, and if you hurt her you are going to have an unexpected surgery'

Hephaestus: Do you and your f/o(s) ever like to get gifts for one another? What kind of gifts?

I give Knockout gifts that help him keep up with his appearance, because that's always a big deal to him. Mostly pads to help with his buffing up, a gift card to fix up his paint if it gets scratched or ruined...those type of things!

KO likes to take me out shopping for my own self confidence, so I guess the clothes he gets me are gifts!

The Erinyes: How does your f/o (or f/os) respond to someone mistreating you? Do they confront the person? Do they comfort you?

Oof you don't want to mess with me, because you will be messing with Knockout also, and trust me you don't want to do that! When KO sees me in tears, he quickly assesses me to see if I'm hurt physically (he is a doctor after all) and kneels down to ask me what happened. "What happened, dear? Who hurt you?!" he asks in an already aggravated tone, ready to drill into whoever I speak about. When I tell him what happened, he, with a fragile talon, wipes away some tears on my cheeks before telling me I didn't deserve that treatment, and to wait at the base until he comes back. And with that, he transforms as quick as he can, his wheels screaming on the pavement before racing off to deal with the "fleshy" who did that to me.

Calliope: Do you have any poetry or literature excerpts (or other quotes) that suit your ship?

I actually don't for this one!

The Bride

Poseidon: Do you and your f/o(s) like to travel? If so, where do you like to go? Is there anywhere you’d like to go that you haven’t yet?

She hasn't traveled far beyond Frankenstein's castle, but one day I'd like to take her to the countryside, just to see the calm beauty of it. I don't think she'd do well among living humans, so quiet places like that would be nice to bring her.

Ares: Are you ever protective of your f/o(s)? Are they ever protective of you?

Oh, she is EXTREMELY protective of me. One word said in a harsh tone from anyone to me, and she hisses at the person who said it. I'm her "pretty girl" and she would do anything for me, even if it means destroying someone else to protect me.

I'm also protective of her because of humans not understanding why she isn't a monster. She is learning, she is thinking, and has her own way of communication. I don't want her to get into danger when people are afraid of something different, aka The Bride.

Hephaestus: Do you and your f/o(s) ever like to get gifts for one another? What kind of gifts?

The Bride likes to make me things! She learned how to sew, probably from Erik, and she had made me a warm cape to wear out so I won't be cold.

I tend to pick her flowers whenever I see them, and whenever I bring them to her, she is in such awe from them!

The Erinyes: How does your f/o (or f/os) respond to someone mistreating you? Do they confront the person? Do they comfort you?

Kinda following the prompt of her being protective of me, there is no cooling off when she finds out someone has harmed me, she is full force going to harm whoever hurt me. She has the strength to do it, and she will do whatever it takes to sear into the person's head that if they ever mistreat me again, they will unleash her raging wrath. As for comforting me, she holds me close, wrapping an arm around me while holding my head to her chest. She might not know how to display her emotions correctly sometimes, but clearly she knows when her child is upset. That's a mother's instinct.

Calliope: Do you have any poetry or literature excerpts (or other quotes) that suit your ship?

I can't think of any!

[copiouscouples]

Keep Your Enemies Close, But Your Spouses Closer

Chapter 5 from One Bride for One Brother: A Tale from the Stockholm Files

Loosely based on Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Follow on FF.net or AO3

Rey chewed desolately on her breakfast as she stared at the steel colored walls of her prison cell. One month. Hard to believe, but she’d been married one month. Well, not married in the truest sense, she’d made sure of that. She eyed the saber-damaged desk across the room, remembering how poorly Kylo had taken the news.

“We are married. That’s part of the deal, that you sleep with me.”

“Yeah, well, most married people love each other, don’t they? And I most certainly don’t love you. Who could?”

She’d remembered her surprise at his wince. That was when she’d understood why he so frequently wore a mask. He wasn’t good at keeping his feelings hidden. He had an easily read face. It hadn’t taken long for the look of hurt to pass and to be replaced by seething anger, Kylo’s go-to emotion.

“I don’t care if you love me,” he sneered. “You made vows.”

She should have been scared. Any sane being would have been, but after all that she’d been through…the fight in the forest, being kidnapped, forced into marriage, saying goodbye to her only friend…she couldn’t muster up the fear. He would do whatever he was going to do, but she would stand her ground.

“The only way you’ll have me is if you take me by force. I will never sleep with you. Never.”

In an instant, Kylo’s saber had burned bright red and the desk took a valiant beating.

“Fine, but you will still sleep in my chambers. Whether you want the bed or the floor is up to you,” he spat before stalking out the door.

And not much had changed in their relationship since then. She was still his captor. Oh, she was allowed to roam The Finalizer, but all eyes were always on her. There wasn’t a move she made that that wasn’t being surveilled by others. She thought she’d do some spying for the Resistance and maybe find a way to contact them, but she could never find a moment to herself. There was always a stormtrooper or officer nearby.

She had learned some things. For instance, she felt she had a good idea of the layout of the ship. She’d even been able to help out in the engine room from time to time and was learning the ship’s strengths and weaknesses. But most of her days were pretty boring. She mostly ate and read. She’d even gained some weight, but the food was so good here unlike anything she’d had on Jakku that she couldn’t resist. She’d found the training room and had watched as a sweaty Kylo sparred with a subordinate, but had never been allowed to train there herself. So she made do with the confines of this room, making sure she was fit and ready for the time when she was finally able to escape.

There was one area that they’d both bent a little. That first night, Rey had been determined to sleep on the floor as having a room to herself had been forbidden. And there was no way she would lay next to the man she despised, no matter how warm or comfortable his bed was. She had her pride. But outer space was cold and the floor was even colder. She’d lay shivering on the floor for a little over an hour before she’d felt strong arms lifting her and dumping her unceremoniously on the bed.

“I’m not going to force myself on you,” he said gruffly. “Sleep here. I’ll sleep in the chair.”

And that’s how their first week of marriage had passed. She stubbornly settling herself on the floor each night before her new husband came to pick her up and put her on the bed. She didn’t let her mind ponder too long on how comforting being in his arms was. In fact, it was on one night when she’d been particularly sleepy and found herself burrowing into his chest that she’d realized something had to change. This routine of theirs was becoming dangerous. She’d instantly frozen in his arms and had wiggled out of them before they’d reached the bed.

“You need to stop picking me up,” she said censoriously, fuming at him as much as herself.

“You need to stop sleeping on the floor.”

“Fine. I’ll sleep on the bed if you’ll sleep in the chair.”

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?”

“Well, now, it’s…um…a spoken agreement.”

A few weeks had passed with this arrangement being honored by both parties. But a few days ago, she’d noticed how stiff and sore Kylo seemed. She knew it must be mighty uncomfortable to sleep in that chair every night. He might be a monster but he was still human. She’d even suggested he find another bed on the ship.

“Sleep in a room other than my own chambers? That’ll make me look like an imposing leader,” he’d scoffed.

Three nights ago, she caved. Earlier in the day, she’d asked for extra pillows from the supply room. That night she arranged the pillows in a vertical line halfway down the bed.

“This is your side of the bed,” she said when he walked in after finishing his evening rounds. “As long as you stay on your side, we won’t have any problems. Understand?”

He’d nodded and after using the fresher had joined her in the bed. She was so nervous she’d barely gotten a wink of sleep. In the middle of the night, she’d turn to look at him. He was sleeping on his back, his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling slowly. Her eyes studied his moles, his large nose, the prominent Adam’s apple, the long, dark curls she was so tempted to touch. In his sleep, he wasn’t Kylo Ren, he was simply Ben Solo, Han Solo and General Organa’s son.

She thought of all that his mother had told her about him. How he’d gone awry, how much his parents regretted about how they’d chosen to raise him, how much his mother still loved him even after all he’d done. Rey found herself wishing she’d known this Ben Solo fellow. She could have loved him.

As Kylo nodded and pretended to attend to what Hux was saying, his mind wandered to the fact that today was his one month anniversary. And yet so little of his life had changed when he got married. The only difference was that he now had a roommate who hated his guts and was eager to escape. He still slept alone although that had recently changed, he thought to himself, a glimmer of a smile on his lips. Maybe little by little he was making her warm up to him. Despite the new change in sleeping arrangements, he still felt very alone in his marriage. Rey did not seem to want to get to know him better. They rarely talked. There was a lot of silence.

On top of that Snoke and Hux were highly suspicious of his wife since marrying had not given them the information they sought - the location of Luke Skywalker. Although to be honest, that had been more his personal mission. But they weren’t happy that his marriage to Rey had proved fruitless and took every opportunity to disparage her and question his reasons for marrying her.

Try as he might, he’d never been able to get the intel on where Luke Skywalker was. He’d even tried slipping into her mind while she was asleep but to no avail. So he’d ended up lying to cover for her saying that she had never seen the map herself. He’d directed their focus to seeking out the droid and his owner, some pilot name Dameron. Eventually, they’d stopped questioning him, but he knew he couldn’t make any more missteps. It was no longer just about protecting his hide, but Rey’s too.

When Hux finished speaking, Kylo nodded curtly as if he’d listened to the other man’s whole spiel and returned to his chambers to eat lunch, only to discover that the rooms were empty. Rey must be out exploring the ship again.

Kylo plopped into his desk chair and shook his lunch out on top of the battered desk before him. As he bit into his sandwich, he recalled how it had sustained those injuries.

“We are married. That’s part of the deal, that you sleep with me.” He argued.

“Yeah, well, most married people love each other, don’t they? And I most certainly don’t love you. Who could?”

Her words had cut, hearing how she truly felt about him, because he had struggled from a young age at feeling good enough to be loved. His own parents hadn’t loved him. Why would Rey be any different? The painful thought had made him flinch. He remembered the brief flicker of pity in his wife’s eyes before he became enraged that she thought him weak. He didn’t need or want her pity.

“I don’t care if you love me,” he sneered. “You made vows.”

For twenty-nine years, his life had been centered around the Force exploring and training in the light and dark sides of it. He had had little use for human interactions because he knew they would only end in disappointment. He’d just wanted power and to live up to his grandfather’s reputation. But after meeting Rey, he started to care about another human being. He wanted human contact, human touch, and she was denying him access to it, perpetuating the theme of his life, never getting what he wanted.

“The only way you’ll have me is if you take me by force. I will never sleep with you. Never.”

How those words had burned him. He knew how little she thought of him as she said them. Sure he had done some questionable things but he would never force himself upon a woman. When they’d married, he had only assumed they’d do what all other married couples did. She apparently had other plans.

“Fine, but you will still sleep in my chambers. Whether you want the bed or the floor is up to you.”

At the time, he had meant what he’d said. If she didn’t want to sleep with him, she could sleep on the floor, but that night he’d ended up eating his own words. All it had taken was seeing her slight frame shivering on the floor. He had been stubborn at first, planning on playing the waiting game. Surely she’d come to the warmth of the bed in a sense of self-preservation. For well over an hour, they’d played a foolish game of chicken until he could bear the sight of her trembling, undernourished body no longer. He’d gotten out of bed, scooped her up all the while ignoring her protest, and dropped her on the bed none too gently. For a moment, he planned on joining her on the other side of the bed, but the wide-eyed fear in Rey’s eyes had made him pause.

“I’m not going to force myself on you,” he grumbled bitterly. “Sleep here. I’ll sleep in the chair.”

For a week, they fell into this routine. Rey making up a pallet for herself on the ground. He only being able to last for approximately thirty minutes before he scooped her up. Each night, he had made the journey of depositing her to the bed last longer and longer. It was the only time she allowed him to touch her and he was quick to take advantage of it. Even though she faked outrage each time. She must have caught on to how much he enjoyed it because she put a stop to it after a few days. She eventually slept in the bed willingly although she’d made it clear he was not welcome to sleep there. Instead, he was given the joy of sleeping in his desk chair each night.

But then, something had changed. He wasn’t quite sure what, but he wouldn’t question the good fortune that had befallen him. One evening, he’d arrived to his quarters to find multiple pillows in the middle of the bed.

“This is your side of the bed,” she said motioning to the left side of the bed. “As long as you stay on your side, we won’t have any problems. Understand?”

He’d nodded and then promptly retreated to the fresher where he had to physically restrain himself from pumping his fist in the air. Progress.

His heart had pounded so loudly that it took him ages to fall asleep. He had simply closed his eyes and basked in the newness of the experience. At one point, he felt her eyes roving over him and he did his best to pretend he was asleep. She’d stared at him for what felt like ages before he had heard a light snore emitting from her side of the bed.

Feeling that it was safe to open his eyes, he turned as gently as his big frame allowed and allowed himself to stare at her fine and lovely features. Kylo noticed that she’d gain some weight and smiled. He liked her plump and rosy. He liked everything about her even when she made him so mad that he saw red. He didn’t just like her. He loved her.

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”. 

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry?   Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos.   Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties.   And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains...   What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending.   What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic.   How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me.   What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building.   Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour.   How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it.   How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking.   Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer:  Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-)   And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

[oikawa-tuwu]

Hey everyone!! Happy New Year! (for most of the world, I think? it’s still 12/31 for me oops)

I figured I would start the new year off with a little bit of both a thank you and an update on what’s happening with this blog.

Firstly, thank you all so much? I’ve only had this blog since quarantine started and honestly it’s the only thing that kept me sane, so I just wanted to give credit where credit is due. I know I’m not a super big blog, and my stories don’t get as many notes as some other writers, but I wanted to thank each and every one of you who decided my blog was worth following, who decided my writing was worth reading. Writing for this blog has been an absolute blast, and I can already notice the leaps and bounds my writing has progressed over the months. I wouldn’t have kept writing if no one was reading, so, for that, I thank you.

And if you’re realizing that this thank you also sounds like goodbye, it kind of is.

I’ve decided to put my blog on hiatus.

As much as I loved this blog, I realize the confines it put me in. I just... don’t want to write x reader content anymore. And that was, essentially, what this blog was for. I was never really one for being on the reader end of self-shipping fanfiction, either, so once that desire to write it had faded, it didn’t make much sense to put effort into moderating a blog meant for x reader content. I’ve also been noticing that my love of Haikyuu is slipping a little too. It was my comfort media for so long during quarantine, but with the manga over and the break between seasons, that original hyperfixation has turned its gaze elsewhere.

I’ll still be writing! I still write original stuff (that I don’t usually post online, but if I ever manage to get a publishing deal on any of it, yall are DEFINITELY gonna hear about it. it could be ten years from now. I’m bragging on this account too. Deal with it.) You can find my fanfiction writing on my ao3 account (semipeaceful). It won’t be x reader content, but I do have five haikyuu wips in various stages of progress that I’ll be posting over the course of the next couple months (kuroken, iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka, tsukkiyama). I might still advertise them on this account like I’ve been doing in the past, but other than that, this blog will be dead. I'm not deactivating it, so you'll still be able to read some of my old stuff if you wish, and I'll probably still check notes every once and awhile, but posting will be little to none for the eminent future. Maybe I’ll take it off hiatus when the new season comes out, but who knows.

If you want to keep following me, you can follow my main blog here (it’s mostly the raven cycle and the magnus archives content with some shitposts thrown in for taste, sorry), or you can subscribe to my ao3 profile (I just posted a hanahaki renison this morning if you’ve read All for the Game), or if you want to be bold, shoot me a message and I’ll send my discord information.

So yeah. I’m really bad at being genuine and honest with my own feelings, but thank you. I have no idea how to explain just how happy all of you had made my experience in this community. I will say that if you sent me a nice message about me or my writing, chances are, there’s a screenshot of it in a folder I have on my phone called “chin up babe”, which I only pull up when I’m feeling really insecure and vulnerable about myself. I don’t think I said it enough while I was writing on this blog, but thank you. Seriously. I have been met with nothing but kindness and grace and yall have no idea how much you mean to me.

Well. That’s what I had to say. I hope everyone had an incredible New Year’s Eve, and I hope 2021 treats you with a little more kindness than 2020. You deserve it.

[tales-from-the-brig]

Letters of Import

Nestled within the warmth of bustling streets, Mason did his best to find a place of solitude. Alleys, side-streets, these were home now but were well received as a replacement to his former dwellings. Although the hours were short here, only so much coin to be earned in a day that might stave off hunger for yet another evening, there was a matter of importance to attend to. Dear Kayleigh, A good start, he thought to himself. Simple, traditional, albeit not as if he’d written many letters. I finally landed on my feet here in...Stormholme, Stormhollow? I keep getting the name wrong, but you know I’m not from these parts. I got myself a nice little- Glancing about his surroundings, Mason took note of the alley’s charms to add in to his well-intentioned deceptions. house. Nice lighting,- He recounted the openness of the sky. neighbors are pretty quiet,- The man further within the alley, hard-sold to sleep with the aid of a bottle of the gutter’s finest liver-rot heaved a deep, phlegm-filled cough. With a disgruntled turn within his makeshift pallet of wadded papers he held his bottle tight and fell adrift once more.  and a nice view of the city. Work is steady out here, so if you play it nice in there you’ll be out before you know it then maybe I can help set you up out here too. Not a lot of page left though so I’d best get to the point I guess. I hope things are going well for you, we might not have been too close, but I’d at least say we were as close as one can get in a place like that- you never put a knife in my gut while I was sleeping, so that’s a plus. With me not being around any more though I figured I’d give you a few final tips that might hopefully see you through your sentence; One, don’t ever forget your blade. I’ll bet you know this one after the dozen times I told you a day, but never bad to refresh that lesson. Two, get yourself a mouse. Those little guys are life-savers, I tucked a roll of good pipe-weed in the panel crack I pried open before I left, it should be just enough room for you to get your hand in. Trade that off to Bert the Mouse Monger for a little guy you can make a connection with, that’s the only friend you can ever really trust in there, and he’ll help keep you sane, and maybe even help turn a profit with some smuggling connections. Three, and this is a biggie, only open your cell up to a new fish, like I did you. You weren’t the first one I let in, but you were the last; new fish usually don’t know the rules, and they don’t have anything to gain by turning on you. You’re the only protection and friend they have, a good ally to have watching your back, yeah? Self-interest. With a grimace Mason looked to the last few lines of his page uncertain of how or what to fill them with. What would help, what could make the difference to someone who was...if anything, the closest thing to a friend he could call on in too many years. Get yourself a name in the pits if you can, it’s hard fights but do what I taught you and you’ll be fine. There weren’t many wanting to fight after I got my name on lips and that might be the best way of saving your skin there is, especially if you can get a good nickname (I tried circulating some rumors to build up some respect before I left, hope it panned out for you). But most importantly, don’t let it all change you, kid. You came in bright, a little stary-eyed maybe, but not like the rest of that lot. You keep them on their toes, and you keep the fear in them, but don’t let them take what’s left of who you are. Keep your head high, kid, and I’ll see you in 10 to 16 pending behavior. Your pal from the pen, The King Shark. Mason~ There was an essence of hope he had. Hope, maybe that she’d turn out better than he did; unchanged, unconcerned by the time spent there and the debts accrued that would follow in the free world. Running the fingers of his left hand over the tattoo decorating the back of his right hand Mason was left in that uncertainty he’d made for himself, forced to decide if he’d lean to optimism yet again, or if this would be the catalyst today to finally dampen his spirits at new beginnings. “Hmm.” He sighed before feeling the reassuring scamper of Cork, his mouse companion, winding up his shirt and into his pocket. Renewed again, a smile brightened his face and outlook as he set a palm to the muddied cobblestone to push himself up. “Well, we’d best get a move on if we’re going to get this to the smuggler, eh, Cork?” Without a reply beyond the unspoken acknowledgement Mason was assured Cork would give him he gently pat his pocket. “There’s a good lad. Then we gotta get down to the docks, see if another ship comes in willing to take an extra hand to unload...I’m starving.” A tiny squeak came form his pocket in reply forcing Mason to retort. “What’s that? I am not being hyperbolic, I am quite literally starving. We need to find real work, none of this ship-by-ship any more. Maybe if you contributed to some of the coin...” Yet another squeak followed as he made his way along the busy streets. “You’re right, that’s not fair, how many times did you get me out of a jam now? We’ll figure out something, just got to keep our head high, Cork.” (( @elaianna A mention just for your one-off character. I will again say, this is not an encouragement to force you to make her more than an npc durn it! Don’t you blame me!))