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#maybe that's dehumanizing in a sense idk
karamazovanon · 1 year
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completely random observation but i truly love how so many of my notifications are from lesbian flag pfps/urls/etc. lesbians just fucking love dostoevsky!!! what is it about his work that resonates so hard with us. is it the existential struggle against repressive social institutions and expectations. is it the immense internal anguish & rage barely concealed by a paper-thin veil of politeness out of fear of impropriety that finally overflows explosively. is it the spiteful female characters tormented by the narrative. is it the murder
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humanoidtyphoons · 10 months
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ah, so norrix meets quinn and also refers to them as it. even the npc guards refer to quinn as it.
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terriblelizbians · 2 years
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hyperfocus on language and using the “correct” phrasing/words is not great and can often be harmful to activist causes yeah yeah but like. i don’t love when that swings to the other direction of like, mocking people for being uncomfortable with certain terms
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I won’t start doomposting yet….but Gojo and Sukuna wasn’t just a clash of the strongest but also two opposing world views in a way. But now we have the prospect of Sukuna’s being validated and Gojo being the victim of that, which is erm…..
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ckret2 · 25 days
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idk if you've ever answered this before (probably, the answer is always probably) but is Bill, like... capable of empathy? Of sympathy? Of love (any kind) or compassion? I guess what I'm asking is how does he relate to other people? Are they all just tools and idle amusements, or does he develop any actual genuine (positive??) attachment to them?
Everything I know about him comes from 8+ year old memories of a cartoon I haven't rewatched since, and discourse I see through your blog, so I'm not sure what the canon consensus is but your word is god enough to me on at least your specific interpretation of Bill.
(I guess it would be moot to ask why he's so fucked up. Feel free to ignore any and all of this ask, it's 12 AM and I'm trawling the web before bed)
for my specific interpretation of Bill? Have this post about empathy and a couple of posts about romantic love. (Okay—three about romance.)
But now let's forget about my interpretation and talk canon.
Empathy! You can roughly split empathy into two categories: "I can logically identify and understand what you're feeling" empathy, and "when you're sad i feel sad and when you're happy I feel happy" empathy.
We absolutely know that Bill has "I understand what you're feeling" empathy, because he uses it again and again to manipulate his victims. He has VERY good emotional intelligence. He understands his victims' insecurities, their desires, how to make them feel happy, angry, ashamed, trustful, mistrustful; he knows when and how to manipulate them based on their mood to maximum effect; etc. We see it in how he manipulates Dipper & Mabel in the show; we see it in how he turns Ford against Fiddleford in Journal 3; we see it in TBOB and on thisisnotawebsitedotcom in the way he talks about how and why he manipulated Ford.
We have no evidence he experiences "I feel what you feel" empathy. That doesn't necessarily mean he DOESN'T, but there's no evidence for it. Never see him get excited just because someone else is excited, never see him cringe sympathetically when someone else is hurt. You could say "maybe on top of being a manipulation tactic, when Bill relates to Ford's estrangement from his family by talking about his destroyed universe, he's also feeling empathy for his situation," but you could also just as easily say "nah it's just manipulation."
Common sense would say well, if he feels other people's pain, it would be harder for him to manipulate, betray, and hurt people so blithely. But we're not talking about common sense, we're talking about canon evidence! It's possible for empathetic people to hurt other people; they can just... learn not to care about that person's feelings. Which is particularly easy to do if the target is someone the person sees as "less important" or dehumanizes them. Bill sees everyone as less important than him. We can't rule either way on whether or not he's got a capacity for emotional empathy we just never see. All we can say for sure is he doesn't appear to turn it on for anyone we see.
Though we see him come close. Although he doesn't feel with any of the Pines, we can see him relate to Ford (during Weirdmageddon, throughout TBOB), to Stan (on TINAWDC), and to Mabel (in TBOB and the Dipper & Mabel's Guide book) via projecting his struggles and beliefs on to them. But in a way this is sort of, reverse empathy?; it doesn't let him feel how they feel, but it makes him assume they feel the way he does.
Sympathy! The definitions of empathy vs sympathy vs compassion are contested so I'm gonna present the definitions I'm using for this post: empathy is "i [feel/understand] what you feel" and sympathy is "i care about how you feel." There's a couple of moments in his interactions with Ford in TBOB that are blatantly manipulative (when he shows Ford what's left of his dimension; to a lesser extent, when he "helps" Ford celebrate his birthday) that might also secondarily be fleeting displays of sympathy. It's ambiguous.
Compassion! Compassion is "i'm moved to help because of how you feel." There's a moment in TBOB when he gets so irritated at Puritan misogyny that he teaches a bunch of Puritan wives how to be witches and has a girls' night burning men at the stake with them. He apparently gets no benefits from this himself, aside from funsies. Is he motivated by compassion for the ladies or ONLY by irritation at how boring the men are? Again, ambiguous.
In TBOB when discussing his exploits in the Nightmare Realm, he mentions freeing patients from insane asylums and criminals from prisons. He also repeatedly mentions disliking captivity. He might be motivated by compassion derived from empathy for prisoners. He doesn't present his motives.
Love! He calls the Henchmaniacs his "family," repeatedly brings up their worries about being erased from reality, and says he takes his party hosting duties to them very seriously. We don't know whether he actually cared about them, or merely called them a family in recognition of their consistent loyalty and obedience. He's pretty disrespectful/violent toward them but that isn't incompatible with being emotionally invested in them beyond their utility. We don't have confirmation he cares for them, or confirmation he doesn't.
Hidden in TBOB and absolutely riddled through TINAWDC are references to his parents caring about him and tender quotes. When he's so blind drunk he doesn't know where he is, he tries to call his mom and asks her to make him a sandwich after school. We know he resents how they pathologized a mutation he was born with; beyond that we can't confirm whether or not he loved them; but just beneath the surface, he's unceasingly haunted by how they loved him.
Romantic love! I wrote a post about the evidence for/against romantic attraction in TBOB. He's confirmed to have at least two ex girlfriends; in the book, he mentions missing them both. He mentions having "seduced" galaxies; we don't know whether these seductions were sexual, sexual+romantic, or metaphorical. He denies having in the exes in the same book where he discusses them, and claims that love is the pupa for hate.
You can choose to interpret this multiple ways. To me it reads most strongly as "he's been in love but sucks at maintaining a relationship because he's an asshole, and he's got sour grapes about it"; but you could read it as "he wants love but his relationships fall apart because he can't feel it and he doesn't examine why" or "the relationships were based on something other than romantic love" and not technically be wrong based on the evidence we have. What we know for sure: he's had multiple relationships; he misses them; he tries to deny they happened; he claims love's dumb.
Genuine attachment to his tools! Bill claims torturing Ford was normal Henchmaniac hazing and he wanted him to join the gang. (Dubious evidence of emotional attachment.) He goes on a raging bender when Ford refuses to join him and escapes before Bill can torture him into joining. (Stronger evidence of emotional attachment.) In Weirdmageddon, seconds after Ford tried to murder Bill, he asks Ford to join him and then turns him into a statue he carries around everywhere when Ford refuses—and this is BEFORE he discovers Ford might still have a practical use for him.
On TINAWDC, he has an exchange that boils down to "Ford was just a tool?" "You say that like it's a bad thing!" "So you never cared about him?" "I didn't say that." He goes on to refer to Ford as his pet and henchman. Demeaning—but, people do feel positively toward their pets.
(It may be worth noting he also calls Teeth the Henchmaniacs' pet. Maybe this is a consistent element to how Bill relates to sentient people.)
There's evidence in TBOB that he felt similarly about his first human henchman, the shaman—at minimum, he's very bitter when the shaman turns on him and he says he's gonna find a "new best friend."
Summary: There's evidence that Bill develops facets of positive attachments to the people around him; but we don't have any evidence that any of these attachments ever added up to a positive & healthy relationship. In all the relationships we see in depth, the toxic aspects outweighed the positive ones.
Summary of the summary: Bill has the capacity for healthy relationships but is too big a douchebag to utilize it.
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howlsofbloodhounds · 4 days
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i keep thinking about killer, particularly stage 2, “humanizing”/“personifying” objects like weapons knives gaster blaster and animals like cats and rabbits ect. but dehumanizing actual people either subconsciously and consciously. likely both.
and like maybe it’s because he subconsciously relates more to the idea of being a toy or object or pet, and less so to the idea of being human or monster or anything resembling that.
and of course, the dehumanizing of others is likely effected both trauma, dissociation, his meta knowledge, and coping mechanisms.
easier to kill and torture if you distance yourself from your victims by viewing them as lines of code or running on script (beliefs and views likely started and encouraged by chara)—and now it’s mostly instinct and normal to him now. perhaps even a suppressed disdain for those who are either still trapped by their codes (so are you buddy), and/or a suppressed hatred/rage for those who are more “human” or “monster-like.”
idk if that makes any sense, but like a hatred for humanity obviously. But also like a flavor of misanthropy towards Monsterkind? But he also doesn’t consider himself one of them. Perhaps he views him being neither monster nor human as yet another way he is ‘superior’ or otherwise above/different than most.
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natsmagi · 2 months
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my thoughts on the new event by the way If u even care
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"hi is this where i go for when i need to let my insane ramblings out of my system. Well anyway im starting to think the point of the lost ballade shuffle is moreso these characters exorcising their past traumas. i dont know alot about yuzuru or niki so i cant really speak on them but for tsumugi rei and madara itd make sense since the lyrics of the song seems to imply that They are the lost children. they are the lost children who have endured all this hardships. rei, tsumugi, madara and yuzuru had rather abusive and dehumanizing upbringings (again idk niki lore</3). theyre lost children robbed off their lives. i wonder if their scenes when the spirits came loose showcases how they coped about it in a way too? like mama is seen interacting with many of the members, which is fitting considering his whole deal being related to "having connections," since his family followed the shinkai cult and made the wishes come true. tsumugi seems alot more lonely, carrying his weight by himself to the point where it seems his body is beginning to give out. which is consistent with tsumugis character and how he often self-sacrifices and doesnt let others in much. rei seems alot more grand, focusing on the bigger picture and not himself, analyzing the situation to better know how to approach. such as him looking at the tomb thing with a more calculative gaze, and then giving that same look to the radio tower, implying that maybe thats whats been causing all of this. this is also consistent with reis character in how hes viewed by many as a savior. a prodigy that can fix everyones struggles, without stopping to view rei as his own individual the song itself feels very much like. People who are clinging to bad habits. wandering around aimlessly because with how they were raised this is all they know. never telling anyone of their hardships. never letting anyone in. completely isolating themselves, because the people who were meant to raise them never taught them how to live, so all they know is "watching over the world" and then in the end they exorcised themselves of their pasts, not letting that define them anymore. u can see it esp w tsumugi in how, minus the hush towards the camera, he never once smiled during the mv until the purified spirits were floating around him like hes finally at peace im so normal about this i swear"
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triglycercule · 3 months
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hear me out: nightmare's base NOT being a castle but instead a prison facility. like a maximum security nasty and gross prison facility
dust killer and horror (or who else you consider bad sanses) living under nightmare as a prison warden. they're forced to sleep in cells next to the rest of nightmare's prisoners because they're just as stuck there as the people nightmare captures. sure they might be able to willfully leave the cells whenever they want but would they want to? maybe dust keeps himself locked up in his cell because he thinks this is what he deserves. maybe killer keeps himself locked up whenever he risks changing stages (1 or 3 doesn't really matter). being stuck in the cell is so dehumanizing and disrespectful but it's the only "safe space" they have in the prison. none of them are ever truly alone when they can yell and berate and shout at each other through the bars. nighttime is the worst because nightmare goes around and makes SURE that they can't unlock the cells. he keeps them trapped in their cages like animals and all of them HATE IT.
they're forced to shower together because it's demeaning and embarrassing and it causes fights amongst them. seeing another person naked is already bad but when it's another version of yourself when you already probably hate yourself and how you look doesn't make it any better. they have to do recreational activities together and of course that ends up in arguments. they have to work out and train together in the prison yard for nightmare's evil little missions and of course MORE arguments occur. they really cannot ever get along especially considering that they're stuck together 24/7 for more negativity (at least they bond a little bit during this. showering together's pretty intimate ngl even if you fucking hate each other)
they have to eat the prison food (or starve. the mtt probably do this more than eating) that nightmare (his servants maybe??? idk.) serves. maybe on a specific day that they do something good nightmare serves them better food. but horror still doesn't eat it. he'd rather starve than eat the normal prison slop but when he actually gets good edible food he hates himself for being so stubborn and not trying to get over his eating issues earlier so he could actually eat the good food without throwing up. dust doesn't wanna eat it. he's being rewarded good food like an animal all because he helped nightmare make someone feel like shit and suffer. he has too much guilt to eat it. but killer eats it wholeheartedly. nightmare gives him food to eat so he must want killer to eat the food so killer has to eat the food. even if its nasty prison slop. even if some days nightmare decides to change his food specifically to be worse than the regular slop
nightmare's the warden. he has control over all of the prison and doors and lights. he lives in his fancy and regal office bedroom library while the rest of his prisoners/workers stay in the cells. sometimes he likes to go down to the cells and be sure to keep everyone trapped inside just for funsies for unspecified amounts of time. sometimes he insults and mocks people through the bars while doing stuff to trigger them (whether this is someone he captured or one of the bad senses.) maybe during recreational time he'll force the trio to do things for his appeasement and their suffering like pretending to be children and having to act like babies. or maybe being chained up and lead around with leashes like animals (they're already being treated like animals in this prison anyways so is it really all that embarrassing?? nightmare doesn't think so.) he'll watch over the trio training and working out and force them to do it over and over and over until they pass out (or else he'll do something worse. he always finds something worse to do.)
nightmare loves to torment everyone stuck in his prison especially his workers. because out of everyone there, they're the ones that he finds most entertaining. all his other prisoners hate him but they have hope that they might escape one day, that maybe there's the salvation of death in this prison. but nightmare won't let any of his workers die (or not without replacing them.) he'll keep them alive and keep torturing them and treating them like shit just because it's fun and gives the negativity he needs :3
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dross-the-fish · 3 months
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First of all I just really want to say I absolutely LOVE your art and specially the way you draw Erik, Leroux-Erik my beloved 😭💕
Ok ANYWAY. I saw your posts discussing about Erik and how the Phandom portray him and Raou, and I really want to point out some of my views (in the healthiest and most polite way possible!!!)
I'm not trying to deny Erik's flaws nor that I have an obvious bias since he's my favorite character ever AAAND Raoul is a character I dislike a LOT for multiple reasons lol but, I want to adress that: Erik is a person that endured multiple ways of abuse and humiliation in his life, since he was a child. He has multiple scenes of trauma response and, as you pointed out your post, acts impulsively many times and also shows clear remorse for his actions. What I think separates him from Raoul is (aside from the obvious class diference and the fact that Erik has a whole history of trauma and evidences of mental illness) the fact that Erik learns something from his selfish, self-destructive behaviour. He *had* a chance to end up with Christine if he didn't so shitty with her, and this is very impactful in the end specially because Leroux didn't treat him as a villain who deserved punishment, but as a traumatized AND completely abandoned person who fucked up pretty bad
Obviously, despite my personal beef with Raoul, I don't think he's some sort of abusive devil or any shit like that. I just think Christine would be better at her own. Forgetting Erik's flaws for a minute — Raoul *is* very manipulative, childish and uncaring towards Christine. He, unlike Erik, doesn't learn from his mistakes and presents the same behavior until the end of the story. Idk my girl Christine could be better at her own, single, following her career. The fact that Raoul was born in a rich family in the 19th century and didn't face any of the poberty or struggles that lower-classed people like Daroga, Erik and Christine had also make his character waaaay more difficult to like in my point of view. I'm NOT SAYING THAT "being rich makes you evil" (duh) nor that Erik's actions are ok, just to be clear! It just bothers me how so many people treat Raoul like a saint little puppy and Erik as a monster, like COME ON
Now, back to Erik: I'm not saying you intended to mean that, but I have a huge problem with how part of the Phandom thinks Erik had malicious intentions when approaching Christine, or that his feelings for her are fake. The "Erik knew precisely what he was doing since the start" really makes sense considering how his redemption arc went in the novel. Obviously this changes a lot in many adaptations (for example he's clearly much more self-aware and manipulative in the musical). But Leroux-Erik *genuinely* believed he was doing the right thing. Maybe he had an idea of "uuuugh maybe this is pretty bad maybe i should stop" but the self-destructive-fear-of-abandoment-everything-is-fine voice spoke louder. Let's not forget that what turned Erik into having such a violent mental breakdown was not "Christine doesn't love me and I must punish her" bullshit, it was when he heard her speaking not so many cool things about him and his appearance at his back (NOT BLAMING OR HATING HER, I love Christine, I'm talking about Erik's pov). If Erik didn't love Christine, or if he was a monster, he wouldn't feel any guilty for his actions. The most impactful thing in the ending of POTO is that Erik realized he had treated the woman he loved like trash and even still she showed him the compassion he needed
Ok ending this long ass text, I just wanted to state that I agree with a lot of your points specially how the Phandom tends to summarize everything to black and white even though most of the characters are all morally grey. I wanted people to stop dehumanizing a mentally ill abuse survivor like Erik while also stop hating on a poor woman who never asked to be put into Raoul's or Erik's bullshit lol thanks for having the patience to read, I'm really curious to know what your thoughts about this are 💕💕💕
I appreciate your courtesy, I understand where you are coming from but there are a few points i'm not sure I fully agree with. While it is fair to depict Erik as traumatized or mentally ill, I feel these are ultimately reasons for his behavior, not justifications. I agree that he is a sympathetic character and his story is a tragic one, I also agree that Erik had a great capacity for good under better circumstances. Leroux says "he had a heart that could hold empires but had to content himself with a cellar," or something to that effect and I believe that's true. But some of Erik's behavior cannot be written off as impulse or trauma response. He was still an assassin who built torture chambers and even when no longer in Persia he still had a torture chamber in his home that he made use of. He has enough agency that he can still be held responsible for all of the death and destruction he caused even as we acknowledge that he doesn't enjoy killing and feels remorse. How he deals with his remorse in particular is a bit of a sticking point for me. Erik's consistent ability to willfully "forget" what he does or completely deny the severity of his crimes is very likely a product of guilt but the presence of guilt is not a sign of virtue and after awhile it starts to feel like he is first and foremost dodging accountability. He never feels guilty enough to stop and prefers instead to alleviate his internal discomfort by emotionally distance himself from his actions. I also think it's important to acknowledge that Erik is a villainous character and he is violent with Christine. He does try terrorize her and coerce her into marrying him by threatening to kill her and everyone else. To be honest that's why I like his redemption, because he actually NEEDS to be redeemed. You can't redeem a character that never fell from grace. If we can't hold him accountable for his choices and acknowledge the full harm he did then his redemption is hollow. On the subject of Raoul, Leroux tends to write him as being kind of young and stupid and most of his boorish behavior the product of youthful impulse and the older I get the more I'm inclined to agree. This doesn't make Raoul right or even necessarily likeable but if we're giving Erik grace based on the author's sentiments towards the character we should probably give some to Raoul as well. Ultimately I feel Raoul redeems himself by proving he's willing to die for Christine. He throws himself into mortal peril to save her because he does love her. Yes, he has a lot of privilege compared to other characters and it certainly contributes to him coming off spoiled and bratty at times but at the end of the day he and Christine do love each other and he is who she chose. I'll admit I sometimes feel compelled to defend Raoul even if he's not remotely close to my favorite character just because the fandom tends to over inflate his flaws and hold him to the worst faith interpretation while making every excuse under the sun for Erik. The phandom will go to great lengths to see nuance and humanity in Erik's behavior but not in Raoul's and, while I have my own character preferences and Erik is certainly my favorite by a long shot, I try to be fair and empathetic to ALL the characters in the story, whether I actually like them or not.
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papakhan · 6 months
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do you think benny would’ve just left the courier unburied if he didn’t have the khans with him? that post, especially the ending, really made me think about how much mindless killing you do and kind of can’t get away from along with how dehumanized (i think is what i’m looking for) a lot of the people are. like their only purpose is to be something to shoot at and get stuff from without a second thought about them at all. hopefully this makes sense and doesn’t sound like a big ol mess.
personally I think that Benny would have still wanted the Courier to be buried, but if it was any other gang of mercs it may not have happened. See I think Benny and the Khans may have clashed a lot in their principles but they overlap in a desire to give the Courier a proper burial.
While Benny probably thinks he's being purely respectful, I'm not sure if it's entirely genuine. See, in All Roads he didn't want Chance to be buried and got mad at the Khans for insisting on it. I think part of Benny's reasoning is to do with hiding the evidence. As suggested in this post, most people aren't gonna go digging up a graveyard to look for some missing courier. Then again, we know that Benny looks down on Chance for being an addict so maybe he thinks he's undeserving of a proper burial while the Courier is just a "wrong place wrong time" situation, idk.
It's worth pointing out that this clash in principles is something Benny jabs at the Khans about. His "Maybe Khans kill people without looking them in the face" is him directly saying "look how much I respect the people I kill, unlike you guys who probably shoot them in the back". I think he's projecting, or at least trying to convince himself and everyone else present that this is the correct way to do things (when it's still fucked up)
Anway, your second point:
I agree totally. Obviously a lot of it is because Fallout New Vegas is a video game where you kill people but I think it clashes a lot with the message of the game itself, but it's just part and parcel with the games going from isometric strat games to an FPS. As you said, a lot of characters and factions get dehumanised and reduced to just guys to shoot. But I do think that more people in Fallout should be like normal people who object to idk... straight-up murdering "Freeside thugs" yknow?
Having two characters who Do morally object to killing people does give me a lot to think about, especially with the way that Sun and Luke both have opposing reasonings behind their dislike of killing. Luke being a Follower who genuinely believes everyone is worthy of life while Sun is a Khan who thinks that the finality of death is not his to deliver. I wish more people explored it because it is genuinely interesting and fun and also more interesting to consider in this wide wide game of "guys who want you dead" they would be okay with putting in the ground
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rayofmisfortune · 3 months
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WOOOO A DP WIP THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT FINISH BUT DON'T WANT IT TO ROT IN MY NOTES APP AND WILL PROBABLY REGRET POSTING LATER!
Idk where to go with it atp so uhhh... yea lol. I love fics where Danny gets stuck as Phanton so- that's what this was supposed to be. May end up rewriting it completely at some point but I just don't want it to rot and catch dust like all my other fic wips hehe.
This was my first time ever writing any of the dp characters so they may be ooc?
Cw for panic, dissection talk (it's the Fentons, come on), dehumanization (unsure if that applies but, just in case)
This was bad. This was really, really bad.
Danny was hiding out in an inconspicuous alleyway. A... hopefully enough out of the way alleyway that certain ghost hunters, aka his parents, wouldn't find him in in the matter of a few minutes.
Considering his streak of luck this day, his hopes of having more than a few minutes of respite were close to zilch.
They shot him! And now he's stuck as Phantom. He can't turn back and they're after him and he can't escape can't hide can't do anything-
The Fentons have been chasing after Danny almost the whole night. Always hot on his tail, no matter where the half-ghost went. Unable to turn back to his flashy sleep deprived teenager self. His parents had proudly showcased their upgraded ghost tracking technology that morning. The excuses he had to make to them when the Specter Tracker snapped in his direction the moment his Mom turned it on were... awkward at best, unbelievable at worst.
'Must be the ectocontamination messing with the, the um… tracker!' Ignore the fact that if that were the case it would also hone in on you, please please please
'Fenton Specter Tracker, Danny-o!'
'... with the Fenton Specter Tracker.' Aaaand totally not because I'm the thing you're tracking down ahah. That would be crazy, right?
That was this morning. (Or was it yesterday morning now?) This was now.
And right now?
He's stuck in ghost mode. After being shot by his parents! His bad luck probably started right that very morning (yesterday morning?), not just with the Specter Tracker fiasco, but with the fact his parents didn't bother to share a very important tidbit of information! They managed to upgrade the Ecto-Stoppo-Power-Erfier (TM pending). The one he was shot by that one time in the lab? Yeah, that very one. It's pocket size now!
... if the pockets could fit a microwave... NOT IMPORTANT!
Danny had been out on patrol, because of course he had to go on patrol before an important English test that could shift his final grade from an F to a D. Not that he could've known this would happen, but he should've at least had enough common sense to figure something may screw up his already fucked up sleep schedule.
And of course he had to leave his phone at home. So he can't contact Tucker, Sam or Jazz to help him out of this honestly sad situation.
Calling this sad is an understatement. Terrible, horrifying, nightmare come to life would be more accurate if Danny's being honest with himself.
Yeah, sure, he could prooobably risk it and fly all the way home from the other side of Amity Park, crash land into Jazz's room, give her a heart attack and hope she maybe had some ideas as to how to get him back to (his usual) normal.
One itty bitty problem with that one. Danny's pretty sure the tracker his parents made is honed in on his specific ecto signature, so the second he moves, they're on their way. Fenton Blasters loaded and at the ready. Also, the whole thing with his powers slowly stopping to work? Yeah, that as well.
Fun, so much fun. This was definitely how he wanted to spend his evening/night/early morning, when he should be catching up on his sleep debt. Sarcasm by the way, if it wasn't obvious enough.
The roar of an engine snaps Danny out of his swirling thoughts. The roar of a <em>very</em> familiar engine.
The GAV.
He's out of time.
Danny scrambles back up to his feet from where he was leaning against a dumpster. Yuck. The half-ghost shudders at the prospect of being found so soon after escaping within an inch of his not-life.
He pressed his back against the alley's wall, his core hammering away in his chest, and willed himself with everything he had to go intangible before it's too late. The all too familiar sensation crawls through his body, slower than usually, but he's phased through the wall just in time before the GAV screeches to a stop at the entrance to the alley.
Danny stays invisible and intangible, all the while his parents' feet landed on the pavement of the night streets. He listens with bated breath (he doesn't need to breathe) as Fenton Blasters are loaded, safety off, ready to shoot anything that moves. The Fentons slowly creep into the alley Danny had just been in. He can't see them, hidden in the wall as he is, but he can just about picture Mom making silent gestures to his Dad.
But of course, his Dad was never one to stay silent. "I can't wait to rip that ghost fiend apart molecule by molecule, Maddie!"
A soft sigh from his Mom, too close to the wall, too close too close. He's done for. They'll get him. "Honey, we have to run experiments on it before we do that."
"Oh, right." The sound of his Dad clearing his throat. "I can't wait to run experiments on the ghost fiend and rip it apart molecule by molecule once we're done, Maddie!" Then, more silently. "Was that better?"
His Mom chuckled warmly. "Yes, Jack." Too close too close too close
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bonefall · 1 year
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idk if we can request bb character summaries but. jay, the old lady who runs a gang in tallstar's revenge?
I'm not sure where I'm going with Jay.
A lot of the outside group cats are overhauled, for the sake of making BloodClan an actual culture that's existed for a long time. Jay seems to be some kind of respected elder in TR and Yellowfang’s Secret, which I could translate into having her be someone who ranks high.
But, I already chose one of her recurring subordinates, Pixie, to become Puffballpad. The surviving kitten from Snowtuft's slaughter, the horrific event that ended ShadowClan's involvement in the Crusades.
So the thing that makes the most sense is having Jay be the mother (or guardian) of Pixie and Marmalade, and then meet her end there. Though she is an interesting character and I would like to use her more than just the once.
Not sure yet. Maybe I'll have Pinestar meet her once when he's young and hear of her death, as a good example of the way clan culture dehumanizes outsiders and how he is able to recognize how evil this is. I could at LEAST give her a higher rank and some collar teeth in the meanwhile.
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Hmmmm,,,, villain AU but not in the traditional sense,,,, like,,, if Reader is constantly being hailed as a god, with gods, ancient beings, and others willing to die for you,, you'd have to be a saint to not let that get your head,,,,
Like, IDK you're visiting Earth to meet up with your family again. A select few have been chosen to accompany you on this journey, once more adorning you in praise and gifts as gratitude
But when you visit your family, they don't seem happy. They don't seem happy when they tell you about all of the things you've created. They're concerned for your dearest acolytes, worried about the casual self-dehumanization. Telling them that's it's normal will only worry them more.
They tell you that power corrupts. They tell you that they're scared. Not of your power, not because they're jealous of you, but because they can't recognize you. The fine silks that adorn your body, the divine aura that you radiate, the way you talk to your acolytes (you treat these living human beings like they're pets, and they don't even deny it). They think you're not the Y/N they once knew. That your time in Teyvat has corrupted you.
It's only because of your divine mercy that the chosen acolytes don't kill your kin. How dare they disrespect the very one who shaped Teyvat's land! How horrible could they be??
And as you return back to the land that you supposedly created, the hearts of every acolyte shatter upon your disastrous experience. They once more adorn you in praise and gifts, whispering soft melodies of comfort as you sit on the throne of Cor Lapis and Crystal Marrow
You were never the Creator. You were plopped into this strange land, and the land decided that you were the one who gave to life. Whether it was the way the grass felt softer whenever you walked or the way the feared archon of electricity herself kneeled in front of you, however, maybe you were the true creator.
You, Y/N L/N, was always the creator, taken from the land that you had built with loving hands into a world that hadn't been blessed by your brilliance. Your family should've been kneeling at the very sight of you, and yet they didn't. They talked to you as if you were just like them when they were nowhere near your level.
Once upon the time, the acolytes had told you that you were the true Divine One only to met with weak whimpers. But after some time, after all of the praise, all of the gifts, and all of the sheer undying love that they gave you, you finally saw the light. You accepted your position as The Almighty as you sat on your rightful throne, calling them good boys and girls as they all kneeled.
Now, as you sit, misery about your predicament gone, you casually stroke the cheeks of one of your acolyte's as you think. Zhongli had created mountains out of stone spears that crushed his enemies. The Vigilant Yaksha had once devoured dreams. A chamber made out of the finest jade crushed the ocean's rejected child under the unwelcoming sea. You had the land service your every needs, and the minimum of people that were kneeling before you right know was around 56.
Earth was so bleak. Maybe they just needed a push in the right direction. When your memories were gone and you banished to the mortal realm you were always a human never a god you're living in a delusion, your temporary family had always treated you with the utmost kindness. Of course, their love could never be stronger than that of the Vision Wielders, but they were the ones who had helped you see the light what light You still cared for these humans. You wanted to see them rise above long fallen ashes.
Perhaps you could gift another world with your divine benevolence.
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c0rpseductor · 2 days
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random fic thots. and also fatphobia thots. and sexuality thots. Lots of topics
morningstar is just kind of about a lot of stuff that’s important to me bc it’s lestat appeal fic, and one of the things i’m planning to unpack in it is just a bunch of shit about fatphobia and desirability and eating disorders and so on and so forth
so pfeil has disordered eating habits that mostly revolve around restriction, but is still fat. he’s often on that ‘one meal a day just enough food to kinda shakily maintain basic functioning’ grind. it’s not entirely about his body image, but of course like, he’s aware he’s fat and is self-conscious about it, so it’s still relevant.
obviously this is why we need chubby chaser emet. in this narrative. emet likes fat guys. he specifically finds pfeil’s fatness attractive. it also majorly concerns him that pfeil is like…quietly and almost incidentally starving himself in the way a lot of people with eating disorders do when they’re not actively restricting. And he and pfeil just kind of naturally settle into a fairly low stakes D/s thing.
what i’m saying is i think “Please eat and don’t die” may end up getting tied up in their sexual dynamic, and between that and the general focus i feel like i’ve given to both the Idea Of Fatness and what characters are eating day to day, i’ve been kind of worried that if and when things head there readers are going to be like “what is this weird gross feeder shit all about!! Fatphobic! fetishizing! blocked and reported!”
it’s mostly a dumb concern, i think it’d help if i got some sleep lol, but like, idk. what i really want to write here is a story about a very traumatized guy coming to reclaim the idea of having a body and a sexuality and part of that is necessarily going to have to deal with the fact that he’s fat and does not eat in order to punish himself. and it like. just fucking frustrates me that i feel like if you try to touch on that in a sexual context At All then suddenly everything you do and say is suspect and fetishistic and weird and evil and fatphobic. even if you’re fat. Please make that make sense.
like. idk. food is such an important part of daily life bc without it you fucking die. eating together is a very basic human social activity. im very of the dungeon meshi mindset with this. food is a major arbiter of daily rhythms and social bonds and the way characters interact with it says a lot about them and their relationships to themselves and others and denying oneself pleasure related to eating is like. psychologically bad for you. sharing food with other people is a gesture of intimacy and affection and care. you don’t break bread with bitches you hate. Do you see where i’m going with this.
i’ve thought about just not including that dynamic bc of the way people view fat people having basically Any sexuality that acknowledges being fat as Weird Predatory Degen Fetish Shit unless you’re self-flagellating about your weight, but like. I don’t think i want to do that actually. i think maybe i am saying something important about inhabiting one’s own body and also about loving a person who is very ill.
idk. i feel silly making a long defensive post about stuff i haven’t even written yet. i think it’s more kind of like, i just wanna be able to kind of sift through my thoughts, and i wanna be able to express frustration about The Whole Thing. i think it’s kind of fucked up that i don’t feel at all nervous talking about wanting hot guys to put cigarettes out on me or hit me in the face or whatever bc that’s typical kink but the minute im like “i am fat and recovering from atypical anorexia and i would like a hot guy to think it’s hot that i’m fat and encourage me to eat because he thinks that’s hot and not care if i gained weight recovering” it’s the scariest thing in the world bc there is a significant number of people out there that think this is inherently dehumanizing of fat people. and will be offended. or just disgusted. im not even into weight gain i literally just want to be encouraged not to starve myself But Sexy. idk bro it’s fucking nuts that people take issue with this
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meatchamber · 8 months
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Thinking about Suguru’s mental health leading up to the day he snapped. I phrase it all as headcanon but you can take it as a genuine interpretation if you like. It hit me in the gut when I realized how distant and tired Suguru is after the mission.
The way he thinks about his moral debate of shaman vs non-shamans is to an obsessive degree in my opinion. These are thoughts that he keeps trying to rationalize and figure out. He can’t move on with his life or anything because it hasn’t made sense yet.
It’s such a nuanced argument but he can’t just leave it at that. Toji did push this idea of “monkeys” into his head which is a more deeply seeded issue. He gives him this language to put with his negative emotions and he knows its wrong. He doesn’t say it out loud because he knows it is. Yet, a part of him rationalizes it and sees the logic within this dehumanization so he struggles to dismiss the thought completely.
A strategy for handling such negative, unpleasant thoughts is to dismiss them entirely but Suguru can’t do that. It has to make sense. He sits and he’ll ignore everything, everyone and only have the energy to battle with these thoughts. Sometimes having a person you trust to help distract you from them is another way to dismiss them but as he is sent out on mission after mission alone, he can’t help but let his mind drift back. He questions his entire existence, his entire life’s purpose because his mind literally won’t let it go. Everything he is surrounded by won’t let it go. Being a sorcerer/shaman means being dead center in this constant war on curses.
There isn’t another person that he trusts with his thoughts either. Again, he knows they are bad. They are unacceptable in society. It is terrifying to have these ideas in his head and being seen? Like that? Someone seeing those thoughts? He’d rather die.
“What if I did that? Is it bad? Of course it’s bad. This is wrong. I’m gross and disgusting. I’m vile. They would deserve it though. No that’s not right. I’m trying to do the right thing. Isn’t it the right thing to kill them? No! There would be no more curses. Don’t I want that? I can’t do that. It is wrong. I’m not going to do that. They’re just monkeys. I’m so gross.”
He is talking to himself in his head. He spaces out completely in conversations. It’s an endless cycle. It’s miserable. It’s draining on him mentally and physically. He’s scared of doing anything that might show that maybe his thoughts are also him.
Idk!! This is a heavy thing!! It’s very dark and I want to treat it carefully as such. I’d love to hear other ppl’s opinion on it.
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jewish-vents · 2 months
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i’m so, so tired. i’ve deleted almost all of my social media apps, barring tumblr. i am definitely a very political person, and have been invested in developed a deeper understanding of world history and geopolitics since i was ~12 (i’m 18 now). but i feel so drained. i’ve muted tags on here relating to palestine and the conflict in general, and i feel horrible about it bc i see people around me constantly posting about it, but i just can’t. i’ve given up. i ideologically leaned far more against the state of israel before oct 7th than i do now, and i’ve seen this amongst many of my jewish friends too. my online friends have always tended to be pro-palestine, but i never saw this much dehumanization coming from them until now. to see how hated jewish people are, to see how many people i loved thought oct 7th was justified resistance… it hurt beyond words… even my longtime irl best friend tried to explain the conflict (and was whining about me getting ben and jerry’s at a store) to me despite not knowing anything about i/p before this war. i hate being talked to like im an idiot. but if i vocalize that, im speaking over others.
i don’t like seeing images of dead children. i don’t like reading about rising death tolls. i don’t like being bombarded with brutal details about humans’ suffering. and that is all everyone online is ever talking about. and all i see people say is that i need to suck it up because there are people suffering way more than me right now, which obviously is true. but i don’t want people to think im a bad, ignorant person. and sometimes i start to believe i actually am. i was very actively posting about the war when it first started, but now as i have seen more and more how cruel people are towards jews i just don’t post much at all on anything besides tumblr. i worry my online friends think i don’t care, and especially that i somehow don’t care about palestinians, when i do, and i always have! but do i have to subject myself to such upsetting information everyday to care? why can i not be afforded a break? why aren’t jewish people allowed to mourn for the loss of life in israel and the hostages without being accused immediately of hating palestinians and wanting them dead? how come non-palestinian muslims are widely allowed to center themselves in this conversation (obviously, muslims are hurting too, though) and talk about their feelings but jews aren’t allowed to? why are jewish people not allowed to feel anything? why must we ignore one group’s suffering and insist that another’s is more important to acknowledge? why?
and i’m just scared, because i don’t know what to believe. maybe israel is somehow doing all these terrible things and im actually evil for doubting it? idk if that makes sense, but it’s how i feel. i’ve witness very disturbing behavior from both zionists and antizionists, and it’s tiring. i have seen members of the former camp saying “there are no innocents in gaza” and members of the latter saying “there are no innocents in israel”. it’s why i can’t really identify with either party, so i feel alone. by its simplest definition i am a zionist, but people have turned that word to mean a million different things that at times it just feels like its lost its meaning. and when i see someone say “zionists dni” on their acc its like… what do you even mean?
i think there are a lot of well-meaning people in the pro palestine crowd, and i don’t think that’s wishful thinking either. though obviously, there are a lot of truly vindictive people out there who have nothing but hatred in their hearts. but i now get anxious to see an account i follow post something pro-palestine. and i feel so horrible about it. i know many of these people have good intentions, but i automatically assume there is something more sinister going on, whether it’s someone i know personally or not posting about it. and i don’t want to! i want to believe most people are good! or at least decent! but i can’t.
i just wish i didn’t have to be bombarded with so much information whenever i log on to interact with fandom posts. but i worry that means i don’t care. but i really think i do… i can’t not care. but sometimes i feel like im not caring enough
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