#maybe. just maybe my feelings are also important and I’m allowed to have shit not be my problem like everyone else

[thementalshawty]

Short PAC What ‘Era’ Of Your Life You’re In Right Now 😘

Haylowwwww my babies, you seen not only did I post a YouTube video which I know I finally got to do it’ll be at the bottom of this so look at that two readings in one, 😂! This is a reading I felt pulled to do for you guys really quick I felt like mistress Isabelle brooks from drag race feeling myself entering a new era and I wanted to spread that with you guys so choose from these iconic ladies who had and created so many eras and figure out just where you are in your life right now.

Pile 1

Your Card: The Twins

I’m seeing that you’re in your yin yang individual era right now, your glow up era I’m hearing that for your pile 1 glow up, your aura is vibrating high and you wanna protect yourself, you’re learning all aspects of yourself and you’re doing it in a safe haven or you’re attempting to get into a safe zone so you can explore the dual sides and natures of you! You’re judging yourself and holding yourself up to a standard that may not be you, comparing yourselves with your siblings maybe? Also if you’re in a relationship that is tense right it could be because of some trauma that THE BOTH OF YOU, need to deal with in order for your relationship to be harmonious. You’re your compassionate era “I see you twin.” I heard that, that maybe for some of you, idk, but I see you giving the benefit of the doubt more, being more caring and thoughtful to the other person, ending old habits and cycles that have been stopping you from having a loving relationship. This era you’re in is all about healing, balance, compassion, and reconnection! Glow up Era fashooooo!

Pile 2

Your Card: The Patron.

Well to put it just like that, you’re in your patron era, your guiding hand era, mentorship era. You’re definitely the voice and mind someone needs right now in order to get through this thing called life, I’m feeling like it could be you being the mentor or you gaining one. I’m also seeing that you’re in your either endorsement deals era or sponsoring the world era, you’re either giving or receiving some kind of financial investment and I’m seeing that this is new project era vibes as well hunty! I’m hearing what ever you but to do you gon eat it up HENNYYYYYYYYYYYY! I’m living for this era that you are entering you’re in your empowerment era and not just for you but for this new person coming into your life, be open minded, they may not be romantic but this connection is important for the both of you whether you’re receiving or giving the guidance. Learning era baby!!!

Pile 3

Your Card: The Astronomer

So baddies lol, I see that you here are getting more into your taboo era. I’m seeing that you guys will be discovering a lot about yourselves spiritually, you may even connect closely with your higher self, through dreams for some of you. Connecting with the stars is really important for you at this point, you may even be learning more about your astrology charts and shit right now, stars are aligning for you baby and you’re gonna find out why! Whatever shit you’re dealing with too at this point you’re in you’re gaze in to the future era cos the solution is not in the past, it’s in the future and you need to look there because I’m seeing what you doing right now to solve it ain’t working, time for new ideas. Be open to new suggestions to follow them like is gospel trust YOURSELF! If you’re feeling what someone is saying is not right trust me it ain’t! You are in your high priestess/hierophant era babies do not allow anyone to make you feel like you can’t trust yourself! Your gut is leading you right my babies this era that you’re entering is a whole new you! A glow up but this involves only you, as the other likes involved other people. You got this babies!

That’s all that I’m getting for you guys, let me know if you like these eras reading in the comments and I will try to do them periodically.

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

Why is death feederism ok? It is objectively self harm, as one is doing something that will result in them hurting themselves and eventually dying (as fetishized). I just can’t understand it… I am someone in this space that likes being stuffed and full, and doesn’t mind a little biy of wg… but I just don’t understand why gaining until death is encouraged so much when it’s so extreme and life ruining.

Like if there was a feeder and feedee couple that were into it… what would happen if the feeder had issues and couldn’t help the feedee that is reliant on their feeder? What happens if they break up and the feedee is dependent enough where they need family or something to help?? I mean it’s just… they could literally die if they were so dependent and forced to live on their own.. encouraging people to ruin their lives because it makes their private part excited is encouraging self harm.

This is my opinion and I seriously want to know what you have to say… I brought this up to someone else and their response was to block me and say “I think death feeding women think more critically about the fetish🤔” without response. And just so you know this isn’t fatphobic, i never once said I find fat people gross or anything, I just find the idea of fetishizing self harm gross. It’s fetishizing being disabled and or dead.

TW for death feedism, kink talk, self harm/suicide

so general disclaimer - I am not a death feedist and so I don’t know that I’m a good representative to speak on this topic but I’ll share some brief thoughts.

I think it’s okay to look at extreme fetishes and feel uncomfortable with them, so I’m not going to try and tell you that you can’t feel the way you do. I was very critical of people who practiced this fetish in ways I personally didn’t like and this community helped me realize it’s not my business to do that. There is no moral superiority in kink.

The thing is though - in order to be sex positive and an ally to our fellow feedists (yes, even the ones we disagree with or don’t like how they practice the fetish) we have to respect their bodily autonomy and allow them to make whatever decisions they think is best for them. It’s not our job nor our place to tell folks what they can and can’t do.

I would maybe agree that it’s a slippery slope and in a very extreme case, you could argue that this line of thinking would allow us to excuse a suicide fetish, for example (unsure if that’s a real thing). But there ARE disability fetishes and a fetish isn’t inherently bad as long as there are informed consenting parties and you are practicing RACK.

I don’t know if that line of thinking is even worth arguing because it could only serve to slip the other way up the slope back to overt purity culture. I want to validate your thoughts and questions because its important to critically analyze things and i want to believe you are coming from a place of good faith (and I have it in me to try and discuss this).

Regarding the statement of “death feedists think more critically about the fetish” could be true, as realizing you’re a death feedist DOES require reflection and understanding of yourself and of fatphobia in general. I haven’t had at length discussions with folks about this but the death feedists on my dash that post about fat lib seem to know their shit.

At the end of the day, why death feedists enjoy that aspect of the fetish is not for me to debate with or without them present. It’s not for me to tell them what they can and can’t do with their bodies. That aspect of the fetish isn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to tell others what they should get off to. I also think death feedists are a smaller portion of the community and it’s easy to block the tags they use if you don’t want to see their content. I know a few death feedists and I like them (at least their online persona) and they are probably more equipped to discuss this if they want to. So please feel free to add some comments if you’d like, death feedist friends.

My advice is practice radical acceptance. It feels uncomfortable but I think ultimately it makes you a better person when dealing with things you think are weird or gross or bad.

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: JUST A STUPID SAPPY POST ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVS MR ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD-BANE, A NATIONAL TREASURE (sort of long so read at your own risk)

one of my favorite things about show Alec is that he truly does not give a fuck. if you hurt the people he cares about, he will call you out on it. just a short little rant about the difference between book and show Alec. book Alec does not have any autonomy or is allowed any thoughts that don’t include jace. “I wish I could fight like jace, I wish I could act as jace does, or JACE JACE JACE. CC STOP LET ALEC BE HIS OWN PERSON FOR FUCKS SAKE

this is because when CC (just my personal opinion.) started writing about Alec, she thought he didn’t deserve to be his own person. she believed everyone should be obsessed with jace because well, she is and that’s the way it should be, right? and indeed, she planned to kill him off in the first book.

I’ve been having some thoughts since finishing the show because I don’t know who created show Alec and made him who he is (probably Matt, let’s be real) but thank you so much. Alec is his own person with his own feelings and his own thoughts. show Alec is a tremendous fighter and is seen to take on jace extremely well. book Alec for some weird reason isn’t a skilled fighter. which I’ll never understand but whatever lmao

no one in the book is allowed to call out jace for anything and if they do, it’s apparent that they’re “jealous” of jace. if jace is the best shadowhunter alive, then why does his worthless ass need saving every single book? and why is that person always Alec?

Jace treats Alec as a lap dog as wonderful Simon beautifully pointed out in the show. this is also something CC would never have allowed. Alec will call out Jace, the new high warlock of Brooklyn (ugh Lorenzo), clary, aldertree, the inquisitor, his parents, anyone who steps in his way. I think it’s such a big difference with book and show Alec.

I so badly wished to love book Alec (and trust me, I truly did try) but I just can’t. he doesn’t have a mind of his own and if he does, his role is to serve jace or be the funny stereotypical gay. he’s biphobic, hates that his boyfriend has a past, can’t stand up for himself, like he’s not even his own person. he can’t even have his own pov for some of the most important parts of his story. this is a love post for show Alec because that’s the Alec we deserved to read about. one who speaks his own mind, loves and protects those he cares about, and will take no one’s shit.

he’s literally the only one who didn’t trust clary or Sebastian but everyone (except maybe Izzy) who acted as though Alec was the problem. seriously just a big thank you to mending Alec and making him one of the best reasons to watch the show 🫶🏼

I’m in love with Alec and I’m so happy with his growth 🥹 it’s truly the Alec and Magnus show and I’m so here for it 👏🏼

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[gaysindistress]

This is definitely not canon at all but yall are gonna let me have this😭

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

Astarion x gn!reader

masterlist

So Star Boy, our sweet Astarion, was a magistrate and grew up wealthy, if not nobility in some way. Based on how sarcastic and cunning he can be in the game, I’d bet my left big toe that he used a little shit when he was younger. I’m talking switching the side of the road he’s walking on if he saw a beggar and turning his nose up if they talked to him. We also know that this is somewhat true given how he ended up becoming a vampire. I’m imagining him being very similar to Cressida from Bridgerton; just someone who is miserable and craves feeling important/valued. He needs to make others feel small because he felt worthless growing up and doesn’t know how to cope with the weight of his family’s expectations.

Which leads to me my impossible canon; what if he had a betrothed before he was turned?

What if he was awful to them because he didn’t know how to be kind?

I don’t think he has the ability to be truly awful but I do think he would ignore them, keep a distance, and probably be very short with the poor soul. He’d be dismissive and constantly give them looks because he’s just so angry to be engaged to them. It’s not that they’ve done anything; it’s the fact that he’s being forced to marry someone he didn’t pick himself. Once more his family has taken away his freedom and has forced him to play the part of a noble son.

This betrothal has been in the works for years, maybe even since birth but they haven’t been allowed interact until recently. Sure he’s known that it was some second born of a distant family ally and he’s seen a handful of paintings but that’s all. He’s never spoken to them or truly ever seen them.

It feels like the sky is crumbling around him when he does finally meet his betrothed. Sun breaks through the stained glass windows of the church as astarion stares at the mocking portraits around him. They seem to mock his situation with their out stretched arms that promise freedom and salvation. His boots make sharp and impatient noises as he taps his foot out of frustration. His parents, ever the stunning and elegant figures that they are, whisper as they critique every aspect of their son. Just when he’s about to huff and demand that they leave, the doors swing open and a small crowd of people waltz in. A man and a woman who foil Astarion’s parents stride up to them, murmuring half hearted apologies and excuses. Behind them trails a few servants and the other half of this unwilling couple.

Astarion rolls his eyes at the shy demeanor of his betrothed, cursing any god listening for this entire thing. His mom snaps her fingers and beckons him to her side to make the official introduction.

“Astarion darling, this is your betrothed,” she tells him as the servants fall away and reveal the single most beautiful creature that Astarion has ever laid eyes upon.

“Oh what a pretty little thing,” his father says before Astarion can speak and adds, “it’s shame they’re rather dull minded.”

The look that flashes across his betrothed’s face is one of immense disgust but it’s schooled into one of cool collection. They settle their warm eyes on Astarion and give him a gentile smile as they murmur their greeting.

“What a pretty little thing indeed.” Astarion finds himself saying without realizing it.

When this small spark of admiration bursts into distain is yet to be revealed but rather quickly it does and even the mention of his upcoming wedding makes him ill. Astarion avoids it at all costs and morphs into a bitter husk of himself as it draws closer.

That is until he’s turned.

A part of him is grateful that he’s dead to the world but there’s also a part that feels guilty. The sweet smile didn’t deserve his cruel and cold behavior but then again he didn’t deserve to lose his freedom like that.

Over the years, I’d think he would forget about that part of his life or rather he would lock that memory away. It’s useless to dwell on a ‘what if’ like that when Caz-cunt is alive.

So his pretty little betrothed is scrubbed from his mind and whatever he felt for them is forgotten as well.

Fast forward to when he’s adventuring with Tav. They’ve started what it appears to be a budding relationship (more like a few artfully crafted seductions but that’s not the point). Astartion finds himself falling for Tav and caring for them in a way he never thought possible. There’s a sting in his chest whenever he looks at them but it feels deeper, older than their relationship. It nags at him to remember but to remember what? It feels like it’s always on the tip of his tongue, just out of reach.

His fingers grasp at the tracers of a memory so forbidden that he doesn’t think he could even touch it. At night after hunting, Astarion finds himself staring up at the moon, trying to pick apart his own mind to figure it all out. By morning he’s exhausted and starving again.

During one of his many fruitless nights, he drifts to sleep and wakes up to someone pressing a dagger to his throat.

“Where is your camp?” The shadowy figure demands in a low voice as they gently press the blade against his neck.

“I don’t have one,” he replies, confused by his own quickness to protect his unfortunate companions.

“Lies, where is it?” The blade kisses and lavishes his neck as a prick of blood beads out.

“If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you get off of him and back way,” Tav’s authoritative voice calls out. Astarion can’t see much around the mass that looms over him but he can see that every one of his companions is there with weapons drawn.

The figure makes a disgruntled noise before quickly getting up and backing away with raised hands. They give some bullshit excuse that no one truly believes but Tav is more focused on Astarion to further question them.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” the figure lets slip and earns the full attention of everyone, Tav especially. They position themselves between their lover and this thief, leveling them with a harsh look of judgment.

“Who are you?” Tav demands.

The figure chuckles to themselves as they push their hood off to reveal themselves. A collective shock rings through the group when they finally see the person that got the under hand on Astarion.

“Who I am is unimportant. Why I am here is the question you should be asking.”

Tav shifts from foot to foot, ready to attack as they pose the ‘correct’ question.

The newcomer’s face breaks in an eerily familiar smile as they inform the group that Raphael sent them. They survey the band of ragtag adventurers before them, their eyes quickly scanning over each person but settle on one pale elf.

Chaos seems to erupt in the form of hushed conversations and sharp words but it all falls on deaf ears for Astarion.

All he sees is that perfect facade of a smile and warm eyes that he’s been searching for the 200 years.

“What a pretty little thing you are,” his formerly betrothed murmurs to him and him alone.

[azriaann]

ok wait… i just read the newest 100yq chapter… guys hear me out something is in the air… (i’m a clown and freaked out because i thought natsu popped up in lucy’s fight because he was worried about her. that was not the case and now i look foolish)

but i literally cannot wrap my head around Why they decided to split up. i love lucy and she’s such a bad bitch who can absolutely handle herself but in what world can that girl defeat a dragon god on her own. ITS SO DUMB????? why would natsu and wendy not split up into little battalions and idk grab the other dragon slayers from around the continent😭 feels like a big enough “avengers level threat” that they should be allowed to briefly break the contract.. but no! dumbass #1 was like ok guys let’s split up! and every mature person in the group was like ok sounds like a solid, well-thought-out plan! what is happening.

i will also never be able to understand the point of brandish wanting aquarius’ key. like sure, she was important to your mom, but i feel like, objectively, aquarius has had a much more tangible and everlasting presence in lucy’s life, to the point where it makes no sense for brandish to take that away from her😭 why would she not just settle for visiting lucy and aquarius????! that literally makes wayyyy more sense, like obviously lucy would be absolutely willing to make that happen??? it’s just goofy to me. BRANDISH DOESNT EVEN USE CELESTIAL SPIRIT MAGIC.

made me laugh when brandish mentioned natsu😭 like yeah where is ur boyfriend lucy???!! feels ooc that he would willingly split up with her everyone when so much is on the line (even if i still think the stakes are too low for a properly compelling narrative). like you’re going to look me in the eye and tell me that the mf who trained for a year to make sure that he’d be able to protect his friends with his strength is ready to split up and allow them to fight battles that they are grossly unprepared for WHEN THEIR MAGIC WONT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING!??? don’t even get me started on wendy’s dragon slayer insignia shit (which just completely undermines dragon slayer magic in general… because it’s uniqueness is why it was so special in the first place!? but i digress). and yeah whatever maybe he just fully trusts their ability to handle themselves, and im hypocritical because it also does bother me that he always takes the forefront in group fights, but somehow i feel like this is different.

i do like the choice to have lucy in mortal danger and then cutting to natsu. idk if they intended for it to be the way im understanding it, but im a sucker for that kind of dramatic irony😁 hey buddy ur gf is in trouble! but you have no idea because ur an idiot who decided to split up! sigh. anyway i feel like this chapter was pretty good and i have not been able to say that for Months😭☝️ so yay!

[maxybabyy]

i’m thinking about your max run club au again 😵‍💫 does daniel realize… the effect… max’s voice has on him? when do daniel and max meet in real life (if ever)?

😫 😫 i am always thinking about max run club ... but im sooo glad you're there with me! 🏃

in my mind they don't meet until after he and scotty break up. Daniel in a moderate sized LA apartment trying to figure out what to do with a bum knee and no race seat, when he goes to one of martijn's shows, and look who is there also :)

below the cut is the third part 😏 (part i, ii)

The first time he sees him, Daniel almost doesn’t notice.

He’s face-down on the sofa with his phone held loosely in his hand. He should probably be in bed, has an appointment with his physio in the morning, lunch with Blake after that. But Scotty’s in Canada for training camp, has been for the past two weeks, and Daniel hasn’t been sleeping well.

He had offered to come with him, with Scott. Made a joke about getting on the slopes too, “My knee’s been better, yeah? Reckon I could probably take you down for a run or two.” His knee still isn’t great but like, he could probably hang out in the hot tub, work on maybe, like a nice tan.

But Scotty had laughed, told him not to waste his time, “You don’t even like the snow, Ric. I’ll see you in a month, yeah?”

Daniel thinks maybe he’s allowed to feel like this, lonely and sad, scrolling through Instagram.

It’s worse then, when he sees the picture of Scotty. He’s shirtless and smiling, how Daniel likes him the best. There’s a sunburn on his nose, red and angry, and Daniel knows it must be painful. Can imagine almost how he must be complaining about it, refusing to put on aloe because he doesn’t like the sticky after-feel.  

It gets him a little hot, his hips pressing against the sofa almost unconsciously. He could probably like, get himself off. Come into his own hand and send him a picture, saying some shit like, thought of u ;).

But also, like. Daniel hasn’t heard from him in a few days, thinks maybe he’s not going to be the one to reach out this time.

He’s deep in his twitter feed, focus only half on the screen when he hears the voice.

He rewinds it and presses the phone to his ear, the volume turned loud as he listens, and there it is. Just a handful of lines in that sharp accent that Daniel recognises immediately with an odd sense of excitement.

He loops it over to hear it again, and Daniel feels it. The sudden burst of energy, conditioned almost by sound alone. He wants to put on his shoes and run, Max’s voice hoarse in his ears coaxing him to be faster, to be better. To make it good, make it last. And Daniel would, for him. For Max.

He grinds his dick into the sofa, reckons it would be half-hard if he reached down to touch it.

Daniel doesn’t do it, obviously. It would be too much, he knows. Getting hot and bothered by the sound of a voice, or like, not even that. Because it’s GP’s voice he can hear now, deep and British, and decidedly not Max’s. But even like this, Daniel feels out of control.

He loops it again before he even thinks about it.

Daniel doesn’t realise until he’s on his third listen that GP is talking about Max, “- and he can be himself with me, which I think is really important when you work together the way that Max and I do.”

There’s a shuffle in the background, and Daniel almost misses it, rewinds the video just a few seconds to watch as a guy pops in from the side to hug GP.

Daniel doesn’t have to think about it, knows already that it’s Max on the screen.

He can only see his backside but he’s already so fucking hot. The wide line of his shoulders, trim waist obvious from the cropped running top he’s wearing. His shorts are almost indecent too, sit barely below his ass to show off strong thighs.

Looking at him like this, Daniel cannot fucking breathe.           

Belatedly he noticed the link on the screen, a tag to their socials. It takes him to a YouTube page, Red Bull Running, and Daniel almost doesn’t – feels as the sour taste builds in his mouth.

It’s, like, objectively okay what he’s doing. He’s just a fan, that’s it. And like, Red Bull has probably hundreds of athletes, it’s barely even a connection.

Daniel doesn’t find it until he’s almost given up, hidden away at the bottom of the screen on a playlist called Max V. His cheeks feel flushed, his eyes heavy with maybe not sleep but something else, the illicit feeling making his fingers tingle.

He scrolls through it with his knee pulled to his chest, flicks through videos of Max on the treadmill, going over data with GP, crossing the line at the London marathon. He’s just as pretty as Daniel thought, wide smile and kind eyes as he laughs at his own silly joke.

He’s almost at the bottom, an absent yawn escaping his lips when he finds it. Yoga for Runners.

Foolishly, he clicks it, watches with a dry mouth as Max introduces himself. He sits squarely on the mat in a sunlit room. He isn’t wearing a shirt, back so straight it makes his pectorals look obscene. There’s a low-fi beat in the background, not too loud to drown out Max’s soft instructions guiding the viewer through a series of poses.

Daniel’s thumb hovers over the home button, ready to close out, to go to bed. And then Max bends over, ass to the camera in his tiny running shorts. It goes on forever. Max speaking softly, demonstrating with his hands the muscles he stretches, how to increase the pressure, where the strain should not be.

Max counts himself down, “You got, it. Four. Breathe deep for me, please,” lowers his knees and folds his chest almost to the floor, keeps his hips up high. “Here, you will feel the release of your rib cage. Obviously, like this it will give you a great stretch in the back also. Yes, just like this. You are of course doing so good.”  

Daniel bites into the meat of his palm, pants into his own sweaty hand. He balances his phone against a pillow and slides his hand down to his dick.

He digs out the bottle of lube that hasn’t been used in months, pours it into his hand, onto his dick. Pretends the slick sound of his hand is something else. It’s easy to do like this, Max’s voice steady in his ear, body moving with impressive control on screen.

“Sink in a little deeper for me, we are so close,” Max says, voice soft, hoarse. “Breathe into the sensation. It should of course feel good when we do this.”

Daniel should feel embarrassed, maybe, but he comes just as Max is winding down, spread out on his back, breathing heavy. “Max,” he sobs, breathless.

The video ends, replaced by a moment of silence. And then in an all too familiar voice, “Hello, everyone,” that makes Daniel’s stomach drop.

[charmedreincarnation]

hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day

Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!

First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.

I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.

The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.

Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.

I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested

I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.

Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝

[kestalsblog]

Thoughts on "Loser, Baby" Song

From what I’ve seen, viewers are extremely divided on the impact of the song “Loser, Baby” in the fourth episode of Hazbin Hotel. I’ve decided to share my own thoughts on the sequence below. Warning that this is a long post, and if you are triggered and upset by the song and/or episode, I encourage you not to read. I understand and respect any individual analysis, and if you were hurt by the song in any way, you are 100% valid. Others who feel differently are also valid. All I ask for is that same respect.

I don’t believe the only people qualified to speak on media are those who can relate to it, but I feel, given the conversation surrounding the episode, I should briefly mention my own background, so people don’t assume I am trying to speak on behalf of other survivors here. As a preface, I was in a severely abusive long-term relationship, so I can understand multiple perspectives here.

First, since Husk is a gambler, it’s safe to read the song as an extended metaphor for gambling too, in which case “loser” takes on the literal meaning– someone who has lost the game. Husk reminds Angel that many of us are dealt the shitty hand in life, and that the best way to get through the game is simply to go together. That’s probably the simplest positive analysis, but I think it's important to keep in mind throughout the whole song so that we don't read "loser" only as "failure" or "scum of society."

The most understandable criticism, though, is that the piece is blaming victims by attacking them and trivializing their experiences. I’m the most on the side of this argument at the words “whiny bitch,” which feel like an odd choice considering Husk has been nudging Angel to open up throughout the entire episode. It’s not my favorite line, but I can handle it only if we read the song as Husk actually singing to himself and calling himself these names as a means for Angel to see that he feels the same.

I do have some fondness for the song’s language as it continues, though. Excuse me for referencing my own personal experience here, but it’s relevant to my understanding.

Eventually in my healing journey, I realized writing and speaking affirmations to myself like “you’ll get better soon!” and “time heals everything!” were making me feel worse and frustrated. I felt like I was just waiting around for this magical deadline when I would “improve” or “recover,” and when that didn’t happen, I felt terrible about myself because I felt like a failure on top of damaged goods. I was letting myself down.

I reached a cathartic moment one day when I admitted to myself, “Maybe things are never going to get better, and I am always going to feel ruined by this.” Confessing this possibility allowed me to realize that, despite the fact that I am a “loser” in that I lost time, innocence, my old sense of security, and my carefree nature from before, I can still experience meaningful and even joyful moments in this new, altered condition.

At one point in the sequence, lots of flashing signs point terrible, degrading names at Husk and Angel. I can see why this might be upsetting to some viewers who are adamant that the characters do NOT represent those labels, but there is an obvious alternate reading that these are just the names both have assigned themselves over the years. By putting them bright and on display, they can face their self-hatred directly and reclaim their honest selves. (Let me pause here to say it's also crucial to remember Husk is not directly calling Angel any of these names). The solo lights then disappear and are replaced first with the soft blue raindrops moment where Husk shields Angel with the umbrella, and finally with the single LOSER where they both can dance together.

Most importantly, the lyrics gesture toward surprisingly affirmative by the song’s conclusion: “Eat shit together, things will turn out differently / It’s time to lose your self-loathing / Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby / Play your card, be who you are.”

Husk isn’t disregarding the possibility of hope, even in the gutter for the losers. In fact, he directly welcomes the possibility that the game can change with company, and self-hatred won’t be beneficial toward supporting that change. Even if we are dealt the losing hand, he reminds us the game is still worth playing. He reminds Angel again and again that it's okay to be who he is. And now "loser" assumes a new connotation - losing the negativity, the hatred, the things that are holding them back.

Significantly, after this point, no more self-negatives are even spoken, not even "loser" again because Husk and Angel are interrupted before the crucial word “me” when they sing that final line “loser just like—” Any connection to the self now has been effectively erased, reminding us that Angel and Husk may have made poor choices, may have been given crappy cards, but they are not losers in the sense that they are not less of people.

Last, it’s important to remember that the song is not meant to speak for everyone. It can't. If we’re going to be strict about it, it’s not for any survivors except Angel, and as we can see by his shifting mood, it certainly helps him feel better in the moment. The whole episode has been about Husk trying to encourage him to “break down his walls” and stop feigning the super inflated ego act he typically puts on, so, in one way, it becomes a “let’s get Angel past the self-loathing that’s preventing him from being his real self so we can move on to something more genuine and happier together" tactic.

I know it’s hard to separate our lived experiences from media. Judging from the disparity in opinions I’ve read from survivors on the song, I’d say it’s been therapeutic for just as many as it’s been damaging.

Before I conclude, it's worth mentioning I also have my own critiques of the song. I mentioned one with the word “whiny.” Another potential issue is the difference between Angel and Husk’s problems. I’m not trying to minimize gambling addictions by any means, but I know many of us feel that Husk’s loss of a cushy social position because of gambling pales against the extreme bodily violence Angel faces. I think it would be odd for Husk not to attempt to comfort Angel in some way, and trying to relate is one of the most common ways of doing so, but I admit that the discrepancy in their situations bugged me throughout the number. Husk reminds Angel he's "not unique" in his problems, which is important for survivors to remember (to know they are not alone), but it might mean a little more coming from someone on a similar playing field. The one redemptive thing I can say here though is that both characters sold their souls to someone with a tyrannical hold over them, and even though we know Alastor isn’t abusing Husk in the same way Val hurts Angel, we have yet to see the connotations of his power within that specific dynamic.

When push comes to shove, the song overall works for me, and I admit I felt seen while watching/listening, which isn't even something I really care about in media, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless. If you felt otherwise, I am sorry, and I encourage you to do your best to separate yourself from the media you consume and remember that every story, every song, is written by flawed people for flawed people. I mean it as fondly as possible, but we're all just losers "living in the same shit sandwich." Nothing will ever perfectly represent or encompass your own experience and healing. Analyze art respectfully for what it is, what it isn't, and what it can be.

What else can you do?

[ranger-lodge-one]

INTRODUCTION POST

Hey, the names Henry.

To be honest I didn’t actually plan on making this blog, just something I was musing over, but here we are. This is mostly just smth to keep me occupied during the long days.

I very recently got assigned to this lodge, I’m not telling you the region just know it’s near a town called Pineridge since I know damn well there is at least three or more places with that name.

I’m the only one in this lodge though, it’s not meant to house more than maybe two rangers since its not a ranger station, it mostly operates as a firewatch location during the summer anyways. That doesn’t matter though.

I’ll probably just talk about the stuff I see on the job here, plenty of Pokemon here in the forest and with the town nearby there is also probably plenty of campers and rowdy teens. Maybe I’ll share some nature photos or trail cam footage or something.

Lastly, I do have a partner Pokemon, his name is Tucker and he’s my Boltund. Real tough guy, that one.

[ READ UNDER THE CUT ]

!!HORROR ELEMENTS WILL BE PRESENT ON THIS BLOG!!

This blog takes place in the forests and mountains of an undisclosed region that the little secluded town of Pineridge calls home. The stories shared here will be from the perspective of one ranger by the name of Henry, a man who has no idea what he’s in for when it comes to Pineridge.

…

Hi, so, this blog is going to be a lot of me making shit up on the fly with some planning beforehand! Just kind of a fun side thing that isn’t connected to any of my other blogs! Just a guy trying to do his job when shit keeps going sideways!

Anyways, welcome to Ranger Lodge One!

Likes and follows come from @espers-n-espurrs!

=====================

Blog Guidelines

Though both the blog runner and character are adults I will probably not be interacting with anything suggestive or NSFW.

Pelipper Mail/Malice: OFF

Musharna Mail/Malice: OFF

Magic Anons: OFF ➥ These things may be turned on in the future, but for now they will be remaining off to allow this to have more of an actual blog feel.

Mystery Gifts: Currently OFF

ANY kind of PKMN IRL blog can interact! Eeby Deebies, sapient/sentient pkmn, evil teams, canon characters, etc.

IN CHARACTER anon hate is fine! Keep in mind that I reserve the right to not answer all anon hate asks though! Especially if they are something I don't feel comfortable answering!

ASK TO TAG! Sometimes an important tag may slip my mind or I may not think of it so please do not be afraid to let me know!

HIGH STAKES! This blog will delve into high stakes territory at certain points! Be aware of this for your own comfort!

=====================

TAGS

#henry talks -> The man is posting!

#henry rbs -> What it says on the tin!

#askbox -> Answered asks!

[fuck-customers]

I started making tiktoks in January as a way to boost my self-confidence (it’s working, which is nice). The other day while hanging around with my girlfriend I noticed that one of my bosses had viewed my profile. It’s not unusual for people I work with to look at my page, since I’m friends with and/or follow most of the ones that do, and they’re being supportive. But it is weird to see my boss there, as it’s the first time they’ve ever looked at my page. I mentioned to gf, and later to my bestie, that it seemed fishy that my boss was on my page.

Later today when I got in to work, I was checking my emails and saw a recent one from my supervisor (they’re just under the boss who was looking at my page, kind of like an AM). They said that they were informed that I’d been making videos, and that I’d been filming while at work. I wasn’t told it wasn’t allowed or that I’ve really done anything wrong, but they said they “do not feel comfortable” with an employee recording on work property during shift hours, and that because we live in a small town we want our community members to feel safe coming to the hospital, and that as an employee I’m a representative of the hospital so I need to be cautious in what I post.

There’s no policy about recording videos or anything else while at work/on property. I haven’t broken any rules. I never mention any personal information about patients or their visitors, or anything that could even identify a patient (if I’m telling a story from the ER I always use gender neutral pronouns, don’t necessarily say what the patient was dealing with, but rather talk about something funny/interesting they said or did while at the hospital). I get maybe 300 views on my videos, on average, and don’t have some insane amount of followers. Most of my videos are my complaining about something or another that has nothing to do with work or the ER, and it’s just personal nonsense. I also make sure to never show any material from the hospital, like logos, and I’ve never mentioned where I work or live, so I can’t really be pinpointed down.

I can understand why they wouldn’t want me filming during shift. I’m paid to work, not make videos. Even though I’ve only ever done it during downtime when we haven’t had a patient in for hours. But I get it. And lately I feel more comfortable recording in my car anyway, so I can change that without a fuss. And maybe I could understand the argument about wanting our community to feel safe coming to the hospital, except it’s not like I’m belittling anyone or making fun of them for having come in to the ER.

But what gets me is that I shouldn’t have to be worried about what I do in my personal life when I never signed up to be an ambassador of the hospital. I’m paid to check people in and handle paperwork, not be some kind of shining representative to make them look good. As long as I’m not saying horrible shit about my job, or badmouthing people I work with by name, or breaking the law by revealing patient information, I shouldn’t have to be bothered with making sure I’m performing for my company every minute of the day.

Employees should not be persecuted for what they do outside of work, so long as it’s not harmful to anyone. We shouldn’t have to be concerned that a potential, or current, employer might see a video we make and then try to discuss it with us later on. We shouldn’t have to police everything we do and say in fear of our companies retaliating against us.

I like my bosses in general. They’re usually pretty cool about things like this. But this just rubbed me the wrong way. If it’s not important enough to have an actual policy about, then it’s not important enough to talk to me about. If you don’t like what I’m saying just get off my page.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[thewayuarent]

About choices

And about Sand’s choices mostly

(there are spoilers to the next episode in here if you try to avoid them)

I found myself using the word pathetic to describe literally any character in this show by that point and while I do it ironically I think it doesn’t fit for me anymore. I’m also way far to be the only one using it especially when discussion is about Sand.

And the thing is - I don’t think he’s pathetic about Ray. I also think after this episode that I’m actually really proud of him. And while I have that very uneasy feeling every time I watch Sand yielding to Ray - I work hard to find my peace with it and be fine with that.

Because he’s making his choice and it’s not my place to judge him for that. Because I don’t want to do with Sand the same exact thing Top and Cheum do with Mew - questioning his life choices and blame them on Ray. Because Sand is an adult and he has a right to make his own decisions.

This episode is actually the first time I see Sand being honest about his feelings with Ray. This scene right here - is about Sand admitting his feelings.

Maybe he doesn’t say it as it is, he still uses sarcasm cause of course he would - but he also clearly hurt and he doesn’t hide it away as usual. This is also the moment I believe Ray realizes for the first time that he means something for Sand.

And after that conversation, after him not responding to messages and staying his ground, the next thing is he’s being smitten with Ray again.

And it’s so fucking understandable. He’s not pathetic. He’s just in love. And he allows himself that moment of weakness just because he wants to spend this time or more time with Ray. Simple as that.

And after that absolutely gross terrible shit Ray has an audacity to tell in his face - Sand is still here.

And it’s not only about him helping Ray with cops. Cause this one understandable as hell at least for me. Police brutality is not a fun thing to experience at all (I experienced it ones after anti-war protest and I live in Russia so I know that shit). And no matter how angry I am at someone I won’t let them get through it alone, I will help them in situation like this absolutely. And I would definitely not let an addict with severe mental illness get to a fucking jail, are you kidding me? Even Top was like nope and he hates Ray.

Even if we all know that this is way more dangerous for Sand, cause Ray has money while Sand doesn't. Even if I think the right choice for Sand would be thinking about himself not Ray here just for a reason of being save - I would do the same thing. I spend one night in jail as a queer person and I still have a PTSD 1,5 year later. I know it was an impulse from Sand I know it's fucking dangerous and he's risking everything. I know it's stupid thing to do - and still I do not judge him for that.

But this is also about the next week preview. This is about Sand forgiving Ray once more. Giving him another chance. And the answer to the question “How will they end up like this after that disaster of a party?” - well, it’s because that what Sand wants. (And Ray also wants it obviously but we’re not asking him here, he’s sitting in a corner thinking about his behavior)

And the important thing here is - Ray is not the only one Sand gives this chance to. He gives it to himself also. And this is about him as much as about Ray. Because Sand was hurt before. And he closed up after that. And he only now allows himself to be honest with Ray for the first time. It not even as much in this conversation

- cause he’s probably doesn’t have the best control of his emotions so it can be unintentionally.

It’s this one we haven’t seen yet.

He lets himself be honest. And that means he gets himself an opportunity to feel and maybe to be happy but also to be hurt again. And this is a good thing, actually.

Because this is how life works. You can either choose to guard yourself or risk it without knowing for sure where it brings you.

And maybe it won’t last long. Maybe it’s only for a brief moment when they physically move themselves away from the reality - but it does count. And those moments? They matter as much as bad ones.

I personally do believe they are eventually doomed by narrative - and not because of love triangle or Ray's addiction, but because of the clear power imbalance this relationship build on. But while it's my personal belief, it's clearly not Sand's, at least in the moment. And it's his right to allow himself this chance - himself, not Ray.

Sand does deserve better. Yes, absolutely. He deserves to be loved and respected (you hear me Ray? I said respected) and not played around. People say it all over again and I’m definitely one of them. But the reality is, love is not only about what we deserve. And it’s not even only about what we feel. It’s about what we choose. And why it’s not for everyone to understand why Sand chooses Ray, it’s not our place to judge. It’s his choice. So if that what he wants I will support him.

The only boundary Sand semi-successfully holds is not being the second choice. He doesn’t let Ray do that to him - and it seems like he won’t in a future. And this is important cause it shows that Sand doesn’t completely betray who he is for Ray.

For all the other things - Ray saying (every time while being wasted as hell) things that probably for many people unforgivable - and I do respect that - well, Sand forgives him. And it doesn’t make him weak or stupid. It makes him who he is.

I was there before more than I would like to. My father is an alcoholic and sometimes when he’s drunk he says terrible things. It’s complicated cause he never allows himself this when he’s sober. And I know that alcohol doesn’t makes him different person, it’s still him. But I also know that condition brings worst in him. Things he actively fights all the time but that are still there. And when he’s sober - sometimes he apologizes. Sometimes he doesn’t remember. I choose to forgive him every time - not only for him but for myself. Does it makes me weak? I don’t think so.

Ray’s addiction is not his whole personality, but it’s a big part of who he is and it explains - not excuses - a lot about how he behaves. And being with addicted person is hard and exhausting and it’s not for everyone. It’s a personal choice - there’s no right or wrong here. Sand makes his.

Love is always about choice. And it’s not only about Sand, actually. It’s about all of them.

Mew doesn’t deserve being cheated on but it’s his choice to forgive Top or not, not ours. And my bet he will.

Top and Boston don’t deserve their sex being recorded and released but it’s up to them if they forgive anyones involved. And my bet they will. Top already running after Mew and Boston continues to add himself in this friend group, so they are already partially there.

Ray doesn’t deserve being dragged around by Mew to be his revenge supply, but it’s his choice to play along. And yes, he’s not that stupid, he clearly knows Mew’s reasoning.

Nick doesn’t deserve being betrayed by Sand, but he made a choice to forgive him and stay friends with him and trust him again anyway.

And this list is endless, this is just some examples. They all do messed up stuff to each other, hurt each other and then move on. They could honestly stop any relationship any character has with others but they all are still here. They won't be forever, probably, but for now, yes, and it's their rigth. This is how we’re growing up.

Sand knows exactly how Ray is. He’s not deceived about it. He sees Ray for what Ray is - all good and bad and charming and struggling parts of his personality. He actually always knew and he falls for Ray being himself not some pretty image of him. He knows Ray is far from perfect. He knows Ray doesn't respect him - he was there being called a whore and again with this stupid possesive rant. He was hurt by Ray way more than once.

And he perfectly rigth saying they have nothing in common - they are from different worlds and they always will.

But he's wrong about it at the same time. Cause it’s music, and also parental issues, and the ability to have fun with each other. It’s also Ray saying he’s in his happiest with Sand

which is absolutely mutual in their good moments. It’s about freedom they find in each other - Ray from his pain and Sand from his exhausting daily routine. It’s also about their shared need to be needed. It's not enough for stable relationship cause their differences are way bigger, but that's enough for him to be willing to give it a try.

Their bond is not healthy or romantic but it still deserves a chance to be. And I love how this show never tries to romanticize any of it. It’s always a complex mix of feelings because they are in wrongs so many times and every time you feel like it’s enough but this moment is still not here. And one minute they are broken but the next they are happy and then broken again and this is how life works.

They are so, so young and it’s not only about age (cause I’m not that much older than them but honestly I remember myself in 22 and I was a whole different person) but also about the amount of experience they have in their lives. About the dynamics they have and patterns they are stuck in. And this is always about getting this new experience and it’s not pleasant all the time but there are still moments when it is.

As for Sand - he’ll be alright. He is alright honestly. He’s not fooling himself into believing that his love will “fix” Ray. He’s just there both for Ray and for himself. And about what Sand deserves? He deserves exactly that, because that is what he wants. He deserves it for the sake of learning and feeling and growing up thanks to that experience.

He doesn’t need to be saved from Ray simply because he made his choice. Because it's not about Sand patheticly falling for Ray's needs.

It's about Sand meeting his own.

And while it not necessary to agree with him, or understand him, it's at least worth an acceptence.

[ask-nighthawks]

” Go, Go Nighthawks! “

Hi Tumblr! This is Hatchetfield High’s [un]Official ask blog! Run by Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipschitz >v< Feel free to put questions in our ask box for anyone at our school, and we’ll get them to answer for you!!

Hihi!!! im SOOOO excited to make this account!!!! obviously it’s not run by ruth and richie, it’s run by me!!!! @royall-ass if u wanna go follow me,,,,, ANYWAYS!!! This will be an art blog, so asks will be answered with art of the characters!! Please know it may take time to reply, and I will try my best!! Also, anything in brackets is OOC!! [Like this :3]

INFO ;

Please please please no NSFW asks!!! I know the characters are eighteen, but I am a minor myself, and do not wanna have to draw any responses to that!!

I will have my own personal headcanons and ships on here!! If you see one you don’t like, just block me or don’t interact!! This account is for me to express my art and interact with people on Tumblr.

On the topic of NSFW again, I may allow mild jokes, like something a highschooler would say, but other than that, probably not.

I DONT KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT MOST ANIME!!! So sorry if you have an anime asks for Richie, it’ll most likely be ooc for him considering I don’t know a lot 😭

SMALL WARNING ;

I will most likely post the ships I enjoy, even it it’s not direct. Of course, if someone asks about a ship, I’ll probably draw those characters!!

although, in case anyone is curious, here’s the ones I like!! :

Michie (Max Jägerman x Richie Lipschitz)

Claugerman (Kyle Clauger x Max Jägerman)

Jason Jepson x Richie Lipschitz

Lautski (Stephanie Lauter x Peter Spankoffski)

Halogear (Ruth Fleming x Grace Chasity)

Holyweeb (Grace Chasity x Richie Lipschitz)

IMPORTANT ;

This will take place in a universe where Max survives the fall at Waylon Hall. He’s not exactly nice to the nerds, but he’s gotten better!! So nobody dies, everyone is alive, that’s it. Also, you can interact with anyone that’s been associated with Hatchetfield High in the shows!! The NPMD characters, Hannah, maybe Alice and Deb if I’m feeling silly. Anyone!!!!

Also, if you’re confused about why it’s Ruth and Richie running the blog, it’s because my friend Razz helped me decide they would be most active on Tumblr :3!!

Tysm, and enjoy the blog!! ^^

[daydadahlias]

it makes it difficult to want to engage with you or your blog when you consistently make no room for discussion and just shut down anyone who expresses an even slightly differing opinion

You would have hated me so bad in 2021 oof.

Hello pookie!! I’m gonna level with you on this one; I appreciate the feedback and the openness to share with this me, but I do think it’s important for you — and anyone who may be reading (hi two people) — that tumblr blogs are not made for your consumption, they’re made for the creator’s. 

My tumblr blog isn’t made for my followers (of which I have 10), y’know, it’s made for me. Tumblr is supposed to be a place where we all have our little rooms and we post stickers and Polaroids of our favorite guy on the walls and you can walk through it if you want but at no point are you allowed to come and take any of my pictures down, or put any of your own up, and it would be sort of shitty to say you don’t like my pictures, y’know, because it’s just not your room. 

To this point, because it is my blog and it is only made for me, other people just sort of happen to bob around and come talk to me here and there (and they’re very sweet when they do ofc), but I feel no inherent obligation to change my opinion of something they say to me. Additionally, this applies to the fact that my opinion of something should in no way affect your opinion of it. Because my opinion simply does not matter. I’m a 21 yo 5sos blogger, who gives a shit what I have to say about something?

Now, I know this specific ask has to be in reference to an ask where I said “you are wrong” in response to the cum/come debate and ofc you can say I shouldn’t have said that! That was mean of me! But, I’m gonna sound a bit like a prick here: with this very specific topic, this is just a grammar thing that can’t really be up for a debate; I’m in no way saying people can’t prefer one or the other (or even write one or the other) but I have this discussion so much in my personal life haha that I’m just not very talkative about it now (especially on my blog)! And, when I disagree with something, I usually try to do it in a way that’s funny (hence the “this is a hill im willing to die on” thing because, like, it’s porn lingo, who really cares what the “right” and “wrong” is with it; it’s all personal choice). Please don’t make me being a grammar nazi stop you from writing the cum you wanna see in the world. 

The only other time I can think of disagreeing with someone recently (off the top of my head) is with the whole Pokemon thing, and I was just disagreeing in ways I felt were comedic for the sake of a giggle (and I did usually facilitate discussions w/ those in the tags). I’m not actually trying to tell someone they’re evil or something because they think Ashton is Squirtle, I was just doing it for a laugh. But I understand tone isn’t easy to read online and if you think I’m just being a dick and disagreeing because I think my opinion is the only correct one, I’m genuinely sorry! That’s not how I mean to come across. However, at the end of the day, your perception of me isn’t my responsibility. 

Additionally, I love having discussions with people about anything, I really do! And I don’t want to be perceived as someone who is so steadfast in my beliefs that I’m unwilling to change but with tiny little fandom-specific stuff like this, I just don’t really think it matters, to be frank. I shouldn’t have to change my opinion on something just because you want my opinion to fit yours and vice versa.

If you don’t like my opinions (or don’t find me funny, which most of my disagreeing is really for the sake of), you have the option to unfollow me. Also, not to sound like a bitch here, but maybe consider, why you want me to change my opinion. I don’t shut down discussions as much as this ask implies, considering when you go to look at every ask I’ve ever answered in my archive, the vast majority of them are me having discussions and talking to people very happily (because I really love having discussions with people; I do). 

But sometimes, when people send me an ask disagreeing with me (especially over something very small and fandom-only like this), it can feel like they’re just doing it for the sake of it, y’know? Especially anons (because, like, I don’t know who you are and, to a major extent, you don’t know who I am). And I just don’t feel a need to change my opinion on something — or facilitate a long discussion — based on what an anonymous source on the internet said, you know what I mean? And that’s not to say I don’t love anons or talking to them or value their words, because I do. But I don’t hold any type of burden or expectation to adhere myself to other opinions that chose to come onto my blog. 

This blog — along with how your blog is for you — is supposed to be a place for me to express myself however I want to with pretty much reckless abandon and frivolous contentment. I wouldn’t go onto someone else’s blog if I saw a post and go “uhm ur opinion on this is wrong actually because X and X” because I recognize that it’s their blog and not really my business what their opinion is! Especially if it’s over something minor like cum vs. come. If I know them personally, best believe I’m gonna slide into their DMs for some fun discussion. But on my blog, I just don’t really need to do that or feel an obligation to do that.

(Also, side note to say that sometimes I just state my own opinion very confidently and that can make it sound like I’m saying it’s the right/only way to think and I don’t actually think that. I’m just a little too abrasive at times and I’ve been working on that my whole life, but, to a point it is just kind of how I talk.)

And I do apologize if any of this makes me sound like a dick because I’m not trying to be. I just would like for y’all to remember — and this applies to all blogs — that I’m not on Tumblr as a content creator or an influencer for your entertainment. I’m here on Tumblr as Jess to post about Ashton Irwin’s titties. And my opinion really just doesn’t matter that much. 

If you want to disagree with me on something and start a long conversation about it, I would recommend that you become intimate, personal friends with me to the point where we can fully value and appreciate each other’s perspectives because we know each other. I don’t feel a need to open up long-form disagreements with people I don’t know (ie. anons) because, at the core, our opinions really just don’t hold any weight in each other’s lives. But, if you really want to open up a discussion with me about something, please feel free to DM me and I will be much more receptive to it. 

And this answer is really long! Sorry! But I hope I hit all the talking points. Thank you for sharing, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my response if you did! I had Chatgpt write this whole thing <3 that’s a joke.

[gothamslostboy]

Hi me again! Could I request Spencer Reid x trans male reader (ftm) with the prompts

“Please stay” and “It’s cold when your gone”

Where the 2 r js cuddling bc some asshole at y/ns work said some shit abt him being trans

Maybe a bit of making out but fs like kisses

Ty luv 🫶

- 🦭

A/N: hey 🦭, thank you for my first ever Spencer Reid request! This was a great experience to write and I hope you like it:]

Meliorism

WORDS: 850

MELIORISM (n.) the belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world

Spencer Reid x FTM reader

SPENCER YOU

Spencer had 3 main amazing talents. His eidetic memory, which allowed him to recall the tiniest visual details of the things he sees, even if briefly. Reid could also read 20,000 words a minute, finishing books that would take a regular person multiple days in only a few hours. These are well known about Spencer, but, his third talent is something only you’ve experienced. He has the ability to read your emotions perfectly.

If he hadn’t already explained that the ability to be a genuine mind reader would require factors that don’t exist in our world, you would’ve been sure he was one. No matter how insignificant the feeling, Dr. Spencer Walter Reid knew you felt it. So it was no suprise when he was already at the door when you arrived home, scooping you into a hug and kissing your forehead.

Daniel said something again didn’t he? You know, even after one transphobic comment the U.S Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says that he can be fired. I’m sorry he does this Y/N, you deserve better. You let out a small chuckle as he continues to ramble about different papers and documents he’s read that could help. Just knowing how much Spencer wants to help makes the hurt you feel evaporate away for a bit.

I’m gonna be ok Spence, it just hurts to hear those things. Especially because he was a work friend before he found out I’m trans. You broke away from the hug to shrug the burgundy coat off your body, placing it on the coat rack before grabbing Spencer’s hand & walking towards your shared bedroom. I know Y/N, but you’re just too great of a guy to have to put up with hateful speech. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I just want to lay down and watch a show, is Star Trek alright? He smiles, matching the small one on your face as he nods.

Sounds perfect! Did you know that Star Trek actually has very little physics mistakes? Considering the time it was- Spencer’s phone rings, cutting off a rant you were honestly interested in hearing. He answers, the corners of his mouth dropping back down as he exhales. He nods his head a few times before excusing himself to the person on the other end of the phone. Sorry Hotch, just a moment. You’re now back to feeling the same disappointment you had earlier, Aaron only calls after 6:00pm when there’s a case.

Y/N, im so sorry, Reid cups your face with his left hand. There’s a briefing for a case, we leave early tomorrow. Please stay. You lean your face into his hand even more. I know it’s selfish, but I just don’t want to be alone…. Its not selfish. A quiet silence fills the moment. Spencer examines you for a second before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He guides you onto the bed, pulling off your shoes and turning on Star Trek. He exits the room and moves the phone back to his ear. You sigh, knowing that the case is important or he would’ve stayed.

Surprisingly, Spence re enters about 10 minutes later, with waters and your favorite snack. I thought- I can read the case files on the flight tomorrow. There’s more than enough time and Hotch said he’d fill me in on any other information needed. You hug his side as he sits down, pulling yourself close enough to rest your head on his shoulder as you watch the show. Thank you Spence. It’s better when you’re here, the house is so cold when I’m alone. He turns your head to face his, you come first Y/N, always.

Both leaning in for a slightly intense kiss, time passes and you realize 1 and 1/2 episodes have played in the background. You two had got so caught up in eachother that the tv noise had been completely forgotten. Spencer shares one more peck, before turning back to the screen. I thought you just wanted to lay down and watch a show? We haven’t done very much of that have we? A snicker escapes you as your eyes roll playfully.

Alright, I know. You’ve seen this show a hundred times- 68 and 3/5ths. Reid beams at you as you raise an eyebrow. Ok, you’ve seen this show 68 & 3/5ths times, what’s happened so far in this episode?

He begins to tell you all the needed context for the episode, and then some extra. You lean back against his shoulder and you two hold the hands closest to eachother, the horrible day of work completely forgotten.

Spencer tended to do that. He made all your bad days turn into good ones. You knew no matter how many people tried to hurt you, to tear away your happiness, that people like Spencer Reid existed. People who spend everyday trying to fix this broken world. You knew that meeting Spencer and falling in love with him was the luckiest thing a guy like you could do.

[hb-writes]

Update re: Requests/ WIPS

Hi y'all! I'm changing the way I do requests. Unless otherwise specified, they'll be open anytime with the caveat that I'm a human being with real thoughts, feelings, opinions, and responsibilities, meaning that I may not have the interest/ ability/ motivation/ time to write everything received, and requests may take an exorbitant amount of time (think, literal years) to be written because that's just how it is. 🥲

Please just indicate in some way that the ask is a request. Sometimes people send a string of dialogue or a random quote with no other info attached and I’m not quite sure what it’s supposed to be for.

Upcoming:

Fifty (Em & El)

Twilight

TBD

September - LLB Anniversary month & A Discovery of Witches (maybe)

I'm including a list below the cut of everything I have on my request radar and will try to update as new requests are received (I usually only respond to the ask once I complete/ post the request)—updated as of Aug 25, 2024.

Masterlist

Pending Requests:

Peaky Blinders:

Part 2 to Gestures of fairness? Where perhaps Tommy is doing something which warrants Clara to utilize her ‘discovery’. For some reason I’m imagining tipsy, fun Tommy for this, with the other brothers there too, just a sweet family moment in the garrison or the house or something, before everything goes to shit

46 and 32 from the parental writing prompts with Tommy saying them! I just want some soft Tommy with a very scared Clara (note: this one is already written, but is actually going to be included in an upcoming chapter of LLB).

Part 2 for pretty in pink

For an angst one shot could you please do one where clara and grace has a huge fight and it ends up with clara wanting to leave the arrow house but tommy doesn't allow her and it will be a situation where he has to choose between clara and grace

could you write something about tommy and clara having an argument?

clara having huge fight with her family or getting into trouble and getting hurt something along the way

one shot with tommy and clara like a huge fight and fallout.

One-shot where Clara is a teenager and gets called into Tommy’s office to be scolded and she gets punished and it evolves into an angsty fight between Tommy and Clara but with comfort in the end? Like maybe she really pushed his buttons, he’s decided to punish her, she gets upset, they fight, she runs up to his room, he comes up and they talk it out and hugs in the end?

Suits:

Reader is married to Harvey and is also a lawyer and maybe during a big important case the reader gets shot in the middle of court and Harvey has to try to keep her alive and begs her to not leave him and their new little Boy at home. But thankfully the reader survives! 💗

"That's why I didn't tell you in the first place. I knew you'd react like this.", for Charlie and Harvey

Darvey? but like with charlie? maybe they're having a date at home or something & charlie promised to hide away in her room all evening but she goes out of her way to purposefully ruin it (why? for the giggles ofc, & because she loves messing with her big brother)

“I can’t smile at you, I’m mad.” & “It was just a joke!” For Suits

teenage charlie and Harvey notices she hasn’t really been eating breakfast or dinner with him as often and it turns out that she was upset about what someone said to her

teenage charlie (14-15) and mike and harvey are going to meet a client and they catch her skipping school on the street! not really like in a angsty way yk like in a funny way if that makes sense?

I would love one where she has a boyfriend and protective Harvey

Charlie: Marcus said I was his favourite

Can I request a Charlie specter where she gets caught at home with a boy like she skipped school or something and Harvey catches them together!?

Twilight:

"I'm very lucky to know you." For twilight

“I didn’t know they were drugs!” and “Oh my god, it’s so pretty!” With Twilight?

“I prefer not to be disturbed.” & “I don’t feel like it today.” For Twilight

Mia and needing her appendix out? And then after when they’re all taking care of her! A lot of fluff!!

some sort of part two for drifting (but it can also be a new ff) where Mia maybe has depression or a depressed phase (maybe because the family is drifting apart like in your last Carlisle fan fiction) And Carlisle and/or Esme help her through (maybe she dosen’t even has the energy to brush her hair or get out of bed)

mia cullen in eclipse when she and jacob finally meet again

Mia drank Alcohol and used marijuana in new moon

Mia Cullen just doing stupid stuff and (accidentally) pushing Carlisle to his limits, like he’s not angry but more like because it’s stupid?

Fifty Shades:

Elliot & Emma : "You can't lie to me. I can tell when you're lying."

One Tree Hill:

“All I wanted was your honesty.”

The Punisher:

“Something is wrong.” & “Get down on the floor!” For The Punisher

Sherlock:

"Can you shut up for once in your life?" Watson sister with Sherlock? Perhaps during the season 3 premiere where John is kidnapped and they try to think of a way to save him.

Bridgerton:

None

The Family Stone:

None

Marvel:

None

Supernatural:

None

True Blood:

None

White Collar:

None

A Discovery of Witches:

None