#me hours later at 2am: haha why

[pyjamacryptid]

something something magic kiss

[demonichikikomori]

Sleeping With You

Jamil Viper and Kalim Al-Asim Word Count: 1.2k+ Tags: Angst/Self Indulgent

Art by kasaka_tw on Twitter!

We are back with another fic for 13 Lovely Hauntings! I know a lot of people do not like Jamil x Kalim and that is okay. This was written with me in mind haha.

SUMMARY:

Kalim wanted Jamil to sleep in his bed after having a nightmare. Jamil wants to sleep in his own bed.

Jamil was silent as he drifted in and out of a state of consciousness. His eyes staring up at the ceiling as the stars shone through the window and the moon hid beneath the blanket of clouds passing by. “Are you still awake?” The soft voice beside Jamil was hopeful for a ‘yes’. “I am.” He mumbled tiredly and turned his head to greet the voice. Stunning red eyes that shone like rubies, gorgeous tan skin and striking snow-white hair. “Are you tired yet? I would like to sleep in my own bed.” Jamil asked, attempting to mask his annoyance. But it was impossible. 

After finally falling asleep after the late hours of midnight, he was awoken to an abrupt call from Kalim around 2am. His young master had called in a fit of panicked tears, so incoherent it spiraled Jamil into a panic. He launched himself out of bed and raced to Kalim’s dorm room. As he forced the door open, Kalim latched onto him with a sputter of sobs and wails. His nails dug into the fabric of Kalim’s clothes as his tears wettened the collar as he cried and cried. Once Jamil entered the room to console Kalim, he had obtained the reason behind the call; Kalim had a nightmare.

It was a stupid reason for calling. 

Kalim hadn’t even gotten to the part where he told Jamil what the dream was even about. Just that it was a nightmare. And here they were a half hour later. The stars sparkled above them as the two laid in Kalim’s large bed in silence. A comforting silence albeit Jamil’s displeasure with being woken up. “Can’t you sleep here with me? I would feel better if you did.” Kalim pleaded and reached towards the covers, breaking his gaze from Jamils. “Kalim.” Jamil’s tone was sharp and he regained his young master’s attention. “I want to sleep in my own bed. You are old enough to have a bad dream and get over it.” In all honesty, Jamil was done putting up with the sniffling and tears the moment he opened the door. 

There had been countless nightmares he had to ‘get over’ alone in his room before the two of them arrived at Night Raven College. If he could do it, Kalim could too. The young master began to pout and he grabbed the covers, pulling the thick fabric up to their waists with a frown. “It was different… The dream might come back if you leave!” Kalim sounded genuinely worried and Jamil rolled his eyes. “I don’t even know what the dream was about or why you’re so upset.” He reminded his young master that he had yet to explain what happened in the dream that sent him into a fit of hysterics. A soft breeze blew past the large windows as Kalim remained frowning and laid down on his side. He was facing Jamil with his expression softening with worry. Maybe the dream was serious? 

“If I say it out loud, it might sound silly.” Kalim grumbled as Jamil sank against the mattress with impatience. “Well… You’ve called me in the middle of the night to rescue you from scarabs and dragonflies. I don’t think it’ll be that silly.” He attempted to comfort Kalim again, hoping that with some encouragement he would finally spit out what made him so upset. The sooner Kalim talked about his stupid nightmare, the sooner Jamil would find himself walking back to his own bedroom. “Don’t laugh.” The older between the two whimpered. Again, Jamil rolled his eyes. “I won’t laugh.” He half-heartedly promised. 

He watched with tired eyes as Kalim sat up, his face starting to become red as he recalled the horrible dream. “You…” He trailed off as tears began to stream down his cheeks. Jamil started to feel a swell of anxiety in his chest as his brow furrowed. But he said nothing as he waited for his young master to continue. “You got married...” Kalim admitted and Jamil shot up. 

His hand smacked against the mattress as he stared down at Kalim in shock. “What?!” The declaration was dizzying and Jamil took a slow inhale, and an even slower exhale. “I know! You… You looked so happy with him too…” ‘Him’?! “The wedding was so amazing too, everyone looked so happy. You looked so happy! Happier than I’ve ever seen you!” Kalim had tears bubbling in his eyes again as Jamil pinched at the bridge of his nose. Of course. His happiness must be obstructed to appease Kalim. But why a wedding? “Kalim, that’s hardly any nightmare to sob over. Me getting married can’t be that damaging to your wellbeing.” He clicked his tongue as Kalim grabbed the sheets tightly in his fists. “It’s not that! I mean- It is but-” Jamil refused to listen any longer as he turned to climb out of the bed. “I’m not entertaining this.” Jamil was woken up out of what remaining hours of sleep for this? To be told that he couldn’t have the luxury of marrying someone simply because it would be devastating to his young master? This can wait until the morning. “You never smiled like that in front of me!” He croaked before slapping his hand over his mouth. But it was too late. The truth was starting to unravel. Jamil stopped with his back facing Kalim. 

He felt confused now.

“You… You just looked so happy. We always have fun together but… This was different.” Kalim sniffled and reached out to Jamil. His hand gripped the back of the younger man's shirt with a shake of his head. “Like you were happy to be away from me.” He whispered shakily and Jamil’s eyes began to widen. Shit. 

“Kalim. It was just a dream.” He reminded gently as he eased himself back into the bed and under the covers with his young master. “You know that’s not true.” A small lie to ease the pain of another person. The pair locked eyes as they shuffled against the mattress to resume laying down together. Kalim’s shimmering eyes were puffy and red as he sheepishly admired Jamil’s sharp slate gray eyes. Like round precious geodes with something much more valuable hidden within. “Can you please stay?” The voice was begging as Jamil allowed his body to fall heavy against the bed. Right… Maybe it would be the right thing to do…Jamil leaned in close as Kalim sniffled softly, blinking away the last remaining tears with a small shake of his head. “Can’t the two of us get married instead?” The soft voice burying itself into Jamil’s chest was hopeful for a ‘yes’. But he knew he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted to hear. “You know that’s not possible, Kalim.” The servant shook his head and pulled the covers over them until they were hidden beneath the thick and welcoming fabric. The young master was quiet and shook his head again. “Then let’s run away… Just the two of us.” He whispered hopefully and Jamil let out a soft sigh. “Why don’t you just settle for this? After all,” Jamil grumbled and Kalim continued to blink away his tears. Only when Jamil gently tilted his chin to thumb the clear beads away did they stop falling. “I don’t mind sleeping with you Kalim. But that’s all I can do for you.”

Tagged Accounts: N/A

[1amgodalphabbc]

Catch this...I get a knock on my door 2am last night. I'm in my boxers no shirt 9mm ready in right hand...I see this little baddd fine ass white girl standing outside in that red dress 🔥.….I had no choice. I put the Draco down opened up the front door and stepped outside. This white girl was cryin until I walked out…the bitch was hysterical…that stopped real quick…but white girl couldn’t stop starin haha fumblin over her words…eyes locked on this ni99a…6’4 swole young half naked with long strong 12 inch long dick bout to rip through my shit. I start laughing she starts apologizing…and says “Im sorry Sir, I can’t stop staring….It’s bigger than my forearm.” I hit back quick “yes it is…come inside and why is your fine ass crying at my door waking me up this damn late for.” Come to find out this white girl is dating my neighbor(baby dick white boi of course hahahaha I fucking love it). They went out to the club earlier. Her bitch ass white boi couldn’t hold his liquor…white girl said this weak ass MF got picked up by 5-0 for pulling his baby dick out and pissing on the dance floor. Her little bitch boi had the only key…she was locked out. Hahaha dead ass. I said he to my new white slut…”hold up your stupid ass white boi pulled his little white nasty dick out….like this?.” I pull my drawlz off and let that daddy dick swang in front of white girl. White girl “no not like that. He is not like that. You make him look like a new born baby…how big is it? It looks so heavy and so veiny. Can I hold it.” I grabbed her waist pulled her right up on me and said “come correct…you meant to say can I hold it Sir?” Her pussy wet already she looked me in the eyes and said “Can I hold your beautiful black cock Sir?”

I fucked the dog outta that dime. I took my time made her take more and stretched that pussy out. Beat the brakes off of that pussy until that deep dick made her lose control of her body. I told her I don’t keep white bitches on my roster unless they take every inch...she keeps begging and begging for me to giver her my nut deep inside her pussy. 6 hours later I put all 12 inch of my BIG BLACK NI99A DICK inside of her….her reward? I filled that pussy to the brew with all of my nut as her legs were shaking uncontrollably.

Her cuckass little boi friend just pulled up….I sent her back and ordered her to make her white bitch boi eat that pussy out first thing. When he’s done licking up my nut imma come over and let him know I own you both. If he’s lucky I might let him kneel in the corner and watch me blow his girls pussy out. If he’s not lucky, he’ll learn today. Bitch slap a cuck into submission. Choke that the lights out of white boi while white girl gives me top.

Updates cummin….Youre welcome MF’s 🍆💪🏿😤❄️

[lothbats9000]

DOODLE DUMP PART 2! MWAHAHAMOREEVILLAUGTERHEHEHEEEEE

OooohH yeah! There's a part two now! That nobody asked for, but you're gonna get anyways heheh!

And once again a couple of these doodles have a fun little story to them, but you definitely are not required to read any, it's mostly just so that I'll remember later. For example the Leo above was another that came from the little doodle chart game I created and this time I rolled "confused" and "Leo" so this goofy guy was born at the beautiful hour of 2am

These two were also from the doodle chart, one Proud Mikey and one Nervous Mikey, and I still DESPERATELY WANT an orange pen...

For these I had already chosen Leo as my next doodle victim, but I needed an emotion so I asked my friend to name a random one, and they chose sad, so then this came into being and now I really need someone to give Leo a hug.

These ones were a day I rolled a Sad Donnie which at the time I really didn't feel like stabbing my own heart with emotion so I decided to go more silly with it. So instead you get an overdramatic Donnie flopping under his desk in defeat

IN MY DEFENCE the kid left their perfectly good blue pen on the seat right next to me when they left the bus. AND I tried to get their attention to give it back but I was too slow (and probably too quiet) BUT I tried. And who am I to let a perfectly good pen go to waste? Why let it get thrown away when it could DAZZLE! *jazz hands* (It also started raining so that's why some bits are wet)

If you read this far then I am impressed haha and as a token of my appreciation I wish to present you with this special imaginary gold star sticker! It shall arrive somewhere on you face in the next 3 to 5 business seconds... Enjoy!

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

uhh so a little ramble under the cut about my mental state and our boy Arnas (not connected I swear)

first of all; I've been overwhelmed by all your sweet comments and messages about my engagement! Truly, it has been so heartwarming, and the reactions were so unexpected that I barely replied to anyone, but to all of you: thank you so much! it means a lot that many of you not only enjoy my fics, but also seem to genuinely like me for some reason haha!

ahh other than that, I'm having a weird, bad mental day, which is also a big reason why I haven't been responding to many dms/replies, not just here, but also on insta or anywhere else some of you may have me on. it's nothing personal if I read and don't reply, I often forget (hello adhd), but today it's also because I'm just fighting with myself again. however, I'm okay and I know tomorrow will be better. I just gotta let these days happen.

AAANYWAYYY, so, tomorrow! big day, huh? If I'm correct, the first 3 episodes of the Wheel of Time will drop in my country at 2AM (which is in about 3 hours). since we don't know which episodes Arnas will be in, I have no idea if it's worth staying up for, but I want to try to watch at least the first episode when it airs (will probably fall asleep before but ehh) anyway, since my boyf- fiancé?! watches the show with me, I probably won't see the other episodes until later tomorrow afternoon (he found out last night Arnas will be in the second season and he was not happy lmao) BUT, as I want to avoid spoilers; I won't be online much here until I've seen the episodes. I do want to warn that IF Arnas is in the first episodes and I can get some decent stills, I will be sharing them here. I try to keep it spoiler free, but just a heads up. I am considering to not put the taglist in any possible edits because I know/understand not everyone can watch it the first few days. so yeah... there's that. I will be updating as soon as I got something, due to timezones, I will probably be very late with any footage, but it is what it is, isn't it? however; please please show our beloved Lithuanian man some love and go stream those episodes when you can. share it with your friends, share it with their moms and their pets, and with your uncles. it's a big moment and I am so excited and I know he'll make us proud but, not going to lie, due to the lack of content we've seen of him, I am not having high hopes that he's like... super in it. unless they are going to totally surprise us (which I hope), but alas, support this show!

okay well this was a lot no one asked for bye-

[otrtbs]

nat, love

this is why i should not be left alone:

i have recruited three more people for our heist to steal Invocation to Love and a few other pieces

unsurprisingly, we’d all do it for the thrill of it rather than the money (yes, we are so unwell, shut up regulus, like you’re not the same)

but i’ve missed you, love. i’ve been loving all of your responses to all of us screaming at you about art heist, baby! (also, you’re a capricorn? was not expecting that)

oh, it’s august now. i absolutely have to listen to august by taylor swift

i’ve been reading, rather than sleeping, which is clearly taking a toll on me, but fear not. i am nocturnal, and i will absolutely sleep 4 hours later today

i think that’s all for the moment, ily <3

(ps. ur amazing, and u need someone to tell u that every day)

Ah Hi!!

Yeah I would not be into art heisting for the money at all haha like I would steal the paintings, but then I would keep them. I’d literally never sell them hahah

I am a Capricorn!! My Taurus moon and Cancer rising mellow me out a little bit a lot but it shines through sometimes!

It is August now! Time to make the switch from July by HUNNY to August by Taylor Swift 😌

Idk what’s up w me but I’ve been sleeping so much these days haha like 2am to 10am I’m OUT but reading is good!! Such a great way to spend time, a personal favorite of mine hahaha

Thanks for popping by again !! Ily 🥰 <333

[fortuositywritings]

Tattoo Heart

Summary: Tony and you make a dumb drunk decision. He gives you a tattoo.

“Um, what the hell, Tony! You said it wasn’t that bad.”

“It’s not! It’s well-proportioned. Really it’s the best heart I’ve ever drawn. I don’t know why you’re so upset. It could have been worse.”

“The heart isn’t the problem. You tattooed Wanda’s name on it!”

“Yeah, I can see why you’re mad.”

You poked your sore arm. Out of all places, he had to tattoo it on your arm above your elbow where everyone could see. Talk about bad placement.

You pout, “How am I supposed to hide this?”

“Baseball tee’s could make a comeback. You’ll be a trendsetter,” he suggests, not helping at all. 

You glare at him. “You’re paying for it to be removed.”

“I expected no less,” he concedes. You’re still touching the tender spot, frowning. He stops you. “Poking it is not going to make it go away.”

“Fuck! I’m never getting drunk with you again,” you vow. 

“You say that now, but come Friday night, whiteclaw in hand, you’ll have no recollection of this ever happening.”

“Getting a tattoo with your crush’s name on it is kind of hard to forget, Tony,” you spit out. He wears a sheepish smile. Speaking of the party on Friday, “Shit!”

“What?” Tony asks, clearly not processing the situation you’re in as fast as you are.

“Wanda’s gonna be there,” you remember.

“Well, yeah. It’s Pietro’s birthday party and they’re twins so,” he comments sarcastically.

“It’s a pool party. How am I supposed to hide this?”

“Just don’t get in the pool. Or you know what, just don’t go. Say you got sick,” Tony suggests.

“I can’t do that. She expects me to be there and I don’t want to let her down on her birthday,” you explain. Wanda had personally invited you to her party, saying you were going to be her partner for beer pong. 

“Fine. Don’t worry about it too much. We have all week to figure something out,” he reasons. You guess he’s right. No use in stressing too much.

Friday afternoon comes too fast.

You’re stressing as you look at yourself in the mirror. You look ridiculous. 

“You’re literally a genius and this was the best you could come up with?” you complain. You already feel yourself sweating. You hadn’t thought of what to wear. You only had your one piece bathing suit. Tony told you he had something and you trusted him. What he brought you, a long sleeve rashguard to wear over your bathing suit.

“Makeup was just going to wash off. We couldn’t chance it. This way, you can get in the pool,” he says. 

“I look like I’m going surfing, not a pool party,” you huff. 

“You look fine. If anyone asks, you burn easily. Now let’s go. Your girlfriend is waiting on you,” he rushes you along, grabbing your stuff for you. You throw on some shorts and slip on some sandals.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” you mumble, blushing as he pushes you out the door.

“Oh, I know. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if she was.” He closes the door.

Pietro opens the door for you and Tony. You both hug him and congratulate him on another year of being on this earth or as Tony puts it, “Congrats on being one year closer to death!”

Technically, their birthday is tomorrow but they always have a birthday dinner with their parents, so they celebrate with their friends either the day before or after. You and Tony hand Pietro your present for him. 

“Just don’t open it in front of your parents,” you warn. He decides to unwrap it right then. You roll your eyes at his impatience to wait until tomorrow. To his satisfaction it’s running shoes with a bottle of alcohol in each shoe. He laughs, thanking you for his present. He notices you looking around, searching for a certain somebody. He already knows who you’re looking for. 

“She’s in the kitchen,” he tells you, a smirk appearing on his face when you blush at being so obvious. You thank him and go find Wanda.

As Pietro said, she is in the kitchen fixing some appetizers to bring outside. What you weren’t prepared for was her already in her bikini, like she’s ready to jump into the pool. Her two piece bathing suit doesn’t leave much to the imagination but you’re quite the daydreamer it seems. You’re snapped out of your trance by Wanda clearing her throat.

She wears a smirk much like her brother’s and you splutter an embarrassed, “H-hi! Happy Birthday. You, uh, you look good. Great! You look ready for the pool.”

She smiles, amused by your awkwardness. “Thank you. You look ready for the beach.”

You blush. “Yeah, I burn easily,” you lie and quickly move on, handing her the present you got her. “Here.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she says, but you shake your head. “Of course I did. It’s your birthday tomorrow. You can open it now if you want. Your brother did.”

“Unlike my brother, I can wait. Let me go put it in my room. I’ll be right back. Wait here,” she requests. You nod and she leaves with her present. You respectfully turn your gaze to the appetizers, not wanting to ogle her backside. 

“Cowabunga, dude! What the hell are you wearing?”

“No way. I almost wore the same thing. Good thing I didn’t or that would be embarrassing.”

You roll your eyes, turning around to see Sam and Rhodey, both clearly amused by their own jokes. You give them an unimpressed look and they laugh harder. 

“Haha. So very funny,” you deadpan.

“Seriously, Y/N, why are you wearing that? It’s like a thousand degrees,” Rhodey asks. 

“Maybe I’m insecure and you guys laughing just makes me feel worse? Maybe thought of that?” you retort, but neither buy it. They look at each other and start laughing. 

“Insecure, my ass. You almost give Tony Stark a run for his money in the size of ego,” Sam says between laughs. You just roll your eyes.

Wanda returns to find the guys pressing you about the long sleeves. 

“Hey, Wanda. I think you might have given Johnny Kapahala the wrong address. She’s gonna be late for the competition,” Sam jokes and you hate that you get the joke. Wanda doesn’t and looks adorably confused. All she knows is they’re referring to you so she looks at you for an explanation but you ignore her in order to throw your own remark.

“At least Johnny wasn’t afraid to swim at the beach,” you bite, making Rhodey and Wanda laugh and Sam take offense.

“There are sharks!” Sam defends himself, making you all laugh. 

The three of you help Wanda bring out the appetizers to the backyard. They’ve got a table and a bunch of chairs laid around. Wanda asks if you’d like a drink and goes to fetch one for the two of you while you greet other friends. 

“You didn’t want one?” You ask her when she returns with only one drink. “If we’re going to be beer pong partners, you can’t leave me drinking alone.”

She giggles and takes a swig from your drink. “Happy?” She asks when she returns the drink to you and smirks upon seeing the slight blush on your cheeks. 

You get a few more remarks about the rashguard but with a few drinks in everyone’s system, the pool is more enticing than poking fun at you. You didn’t plan to get in the pool but with a simple “come on” from Wanda, you’re cannonball jumping into the deep end. 

Once it’s dark, you all begin to vacate the pool in order to play games. You and Wanda play two games of beer pong seeing as neither of you are very good and you think you’ll surely be sick if you play another round. 

You eat, you dance, you sit around and talk to your friends, and Wanda is with you the whole time. It’s midnight and you’re right beside her as everyone sings for her and Pietro. She hands you the first slice of cake, which you eat standing up just to stay next to her as she cuts a piece for everyone. 

It’s nearing 2am as people begin to leave. Wanda and Pietro make sure everyone is getting home safely, either taking a LIFT or having a designated driver. You and Tony stay later to help the twins clean up, which they greatly appreciate.

Almost an hour later, the house looks as if there hadn’t been a party. You and Tony wish them happy birthday once more before he pulls out his phone to call an Uber. The twins insist you two stay, that it is way too late and they’d feel better if you do.

Tony wiggles his eyebrows discreetly at you when Wanda invites you to sleep in her room. You spare him a warning glance before following Wanda to her room. She offers you some pajamas and hands you a long sleeved tshirt like you ask. You excuse her questioning glance saying you get cold at night. 

You change in the bathroom. When you return, you find Wanda also in her pajamas sitting on her bed with the present you gave her earlier in her hand. 

“You want to open that now?” You ask, amused at her eagerness to open it.

“I mean it is my birthday now,” she reasons. You nod, closing the door and going to sit next to her. “Or is this one of those ‘open when you’re alone’ presents?”

You quirk an eyebrow. “What kind of presents are those?”

“One of those romantic ones like in the movies that show that you’ve always loved me or something,” she replies. Your palms feel sweaty all of a sudden with the way she stares at you. She reads the nervousness on your face and takes pity, continuing, “Or a vibrator.”

You burst in giggles. “Damn it. How’d you know?” you joke. 

It’s not a vibrator, obviously. You got her two necklaces, one gold with her name and the other sterling silver with her initials.

“I was going to just get you the gold one but then I thought maybe you wanted one to match all those rings you wear so, that’s why there are two,” you explain.

She puts the box aside and throws her arms around you, pulling you flush into her. “Thank you. I love them.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I could totally return those and get you a vibrator if that's what you want,” you laugh. She pulls back immediately, a frown on her face. 

“No, they already have my name,” she protests, pulling a chuckle from you. She hands you the golden one that says ‘Wanda’ and asks, “Will you put this one on me?”

At your nod, she twists around, turning her back to you and sweeping her hair up. You struggle with the clasp a little due to your nervousness, but you get it. Had you paid closer attention, you would have noticed how Wanda shivered at your touch. 

She turns back around and you admire her with your gift around her neck. “It looks great on you.” 

She leans toward you again and you assume it’s to give you another hug, which you wouldn’t mind one bit, but she doesn’t move her head to the side the way one does to hug someone. Her nose bumps into yours and you realize she’s going to kiss you. 

For some damn reason you pull away before her lips reach yours. She looks embarrassed and begins to apologize, “Sorry, I misread that. I thought with the present and the way you’ve been looking at me all day, shit.”

“No, you didn’t misread anything,” you reassure her. She relaxes. “Can we try that again? I was just nervous, but I’m ready now.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Wait.” You get up and make a show of shaking off the nerves and pumping yourself up before you sit back down. “Okay, now I’m ready.”

She giggles, grabbing your face and pulling you into her, kissing the life out of you. She moves to lie back on the bed and you follow her lead. You’re kissing and it’s getting hot and she tugs on your shirt. You remove it without a second thought. You begin kissing down her neck pulling sweet noises when you leave a love bite. She gasps and grips your arm, right above your elbow. 

You flinch in pain. The sudden intake of breath tips her off and she pulls her hand away. She asks worriedly, “Are you okay?”

You remember the tattoo and the fact that it’s not so hidden right now. You start to panic. “Yep, why? Are you okay?”

She narrows her eyes in suspicion, but you kiss her with the intention to make her forget. A minute later, she does it again, grabbing right on that spot. You try not to, but she hears the small groan and she pulls away. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong,” you lie. 

“Then why do you flinch every time I grab your arm?” She moves to grab your arm again to prove a point but you move it away.

“Nothing’s wrong with my arm,” you deny. She sits up and reaches for your arm. Once more you pull out of reach. 

“Y/N, let me see your arm,” she demands. 

“Okay.” You try to save yourself from some of the embarrassment by explaining, “But before you look, just know I did it on a drunken dare and I didn’t know until the day after what Tony actually wrote.”

That piques her curiosity and she shuffled around you to take a look at your arm. You can’t watch, so you hide your face behind the palm of your other hand. You expect her to either laugh at you or get upset, but moments pass and you don’t hear anything. 

You get the nerve to look over your shoulder at Wanda. She looks indecisive about what she wants to say, but she doesn’t look mad. Finally, she says, “I guess I don’t have to ask if you like me or not.”

You groan in embarrassment, hiding your face again. She laughs and pulls you into her as she lies back down. “Don’t laugh. It’s embarrassing enough getting your crush’s name tattooed on you. I don’t need her to actually make fun of me.”

“Aww, you have a crush on me?” she coos. 

You pull away, giving her a deadpan look. “No, I get girls’ names tattooed on me all the time.”

“Having your crush’s name tattooed is embarrassing,” she agrees.

You narrow your eyes, thinking she's just making fun of you now and that was the last thing you need but she continues, “So how about we say it’s your girlfriend’s name?”

Your eyes widen. Wanda bites her lip nervously, waiting for your answer, and that’s how you know she’s serious. You blush, “That would be less embarrassing.”

“I think so too. So what do you say?” She asks, wanting a clear answer.

“I would love to be your girlfriend,” you answer.

She smiles and kisses you. You can’t help the giddy laughter that comes after. 

“You know, he didn't do too bad. It’s pretty well-proportioned.”

[allthingsarmin]

nerd!armin x popular bimbo girl!reader?

the reader needs a tutor so she asks the smartest boy on campus and they have a “study session” in the library

Thank you for your request! I hope you like it! (ALSO: I’m so sorry this took so long to write omgmgg please forgive me) ~ I also would like to write a better version of this later. Though I'm in love with this prompt, I feel I didn't write the smut part that well.

Minors DNI! NSFW below the cut. Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader.

_________________________

At this point, Armin’s legs were burning, his heart racing and hands uncontrollably shaking, while you were practically out breath, your lungs tightening as you released yet another hearty laugh and not caring about the sweat running down your forehead. Neither you nor Armin expected to be running away from the librarian at 2am in the morning on the cold, campus sidewalk, your hair and makeup questionably messy and his shirt noticeably unbuttoned with hickeys staining his neck. However, the thrill of it all was something you didn’t know you both needed…

Earlier:

“Y/n?” Armin questioned, waving his sharpened pencil in front of your face. “Are you paying attention?” He awkwardly laughed as he scratched the back of his neck. You look up at him, battering your mascara-covered eyelashes at him. “Ahh… I have no idea what’s going on,” you sighed.

Armin wanted to bang his head against the library table. He knew it would be difficult teaching the ‘campus bimbo,’ but he didn’t know it would be this hard… yet there he was. 1am on a Thursday, the test tomorrow, and you still couldn’t grasp the basics of quadratic functions.

“Why don’t we take a break?” he suggested, loudly dropping his pencil on the table, leaning back in his chair, and adjusting his disheveled collar poking out of his blue sweater.

“Okay!” you giggled mindlessly, turning to face him in your chair as you twirled your hair in your fingers. “Even though I’ll probably fail the test tomorrow, thank you for teaching me!” you exclaimed, fiddling with your compact mirror and checking your dolled-up face.

Armin tensed up at your backhanded words. Pushing his hair back out of frustration, he cursed the fact he was wasting his time with such an ai-headed girl. “Y-you’re welcome,” he hastily said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Why didn’t he say no to your study session - if you could even call it a study session - ? Even though Armin was the school nerd, it’s no surprise to him that you came and asked him for help because, well… Everyone does that - always taking advantage of Armin - only talking to him because they want to use his neat, color-coded notes, only inviting him to parties so that he would later help them study.

You felt bad for Armin. Though you couldn’t deny he was way too uptight, everyone did make fun of him for every little thing; the way he dressed like a professor, how he was always so punctual, the way he was the first to raise his hand when the teacher asked a question, how he came extra prepared to class with extra pencils.

But being so close to him now, this was the first time you realized how handsome he actually was. His turquoise veins protruding from his soft, pale skin… his slender fingers gently holding his flashcards, his toned muscles peeking their way through his rolled up sleeves and making his clothes just a little tight, the sharpness of jawline contrasting with his kind, bright smile, the way his ocean blue eyes stared intently with such passion, and his thick, golden hair growing to his eyebrows, allowing his cute ears to shyly show themselves while his undercut beautifully shaped his face… he was beautiful.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you suddenly asked.

Armin was taken aback by this question. No one had ever asked him this nor did any one seem to have any interest in his personal life whatsoever.

“No,” he paused, “I don’t have time for that stuff…” he trailed off. Armin never had a girlfriend, and thinking about it now, he never really had any crushes. He was way too busy keeping up with his grades, extra curricular activities, and student council. It would be practically impossible for him to keep such close relations with his kind of responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean he’s not lonely… his arms aching for someone to hold, his heart cold due the absence of warmth of a person he loves.

Armin didn’t bother asking you if you had a boyfriend. You were the most popular person on campus, partying with countless dudes every weekend, hanging out with a large group of girls at the mall nearly every day, your phone buzzing so much during class that your professor told you multiple times to turn it off, and you were pretty - your hair was always done in a pretty style, your makeup (though a bit slutty) always brought out the best features of your face, your nails were always painted, your skin was smooth and silky, and your perfume scent was addicting. Not only that but your clothes showed off your body so well; your skirt that was just a little short allowed people to see your cute panties when you bend over to pick something up, and your shirt that was barely even a shirt was always cropped above your waist and showed off your bouncy, plush cleavage… so of course you had a boyfriend. But even though Armin was an incredibly focused nerd, he couldn’t deny that your sweet smell, tight clothes, and lipstick-covered lips made him lustful.

“Too busy for that stuff?! Aren’t you lonely? It’s like you don’t even know how to have fun,” you chuckle, jokingly hitting his shoulder which happened to be really muscular underneath his sweater.

“Haha yeah,” he said, seemingly uninterested in where you were going with this.

“If you’re so busy, does that mean you don’t have time to masturbate?” you giggled, covering your plump mouth with your hand and fluttering your eyelashes at him.

Armin became extremely flustered as tints of red washed over his body in waves.

“W-what?” he stuttered. “Why are you asking me these questions? We are supposed to be studying!” he quietly shrieked, looking away to break eye contact with you and playing with the watch on his wrist.

“Haha, I am just joking. You’re such a nerdy boy, just want to make you blush,” you sincerely smiled.

“W-well I am a young college student, so obviously I - I do that from time to time thanks to p-porn,” he stammered.

“Woah woah wait. Someone as uptight and rigid as you watches porn?” you harshly laughed, genuinely shocked. You scooted your chair closer to him and leaned into his neck, your hot breath caressing his skin and your hair resting upon his shoulder. “What kind of porn does this nerd like to watch?” you inquired, widely grinning as you saw how embarrassed Armin had become.

On the inside, Armin was fuming, mostling frightened that he had gotten himself into an embarrassing loop with no escape that would most likely be gossiped about amongst the popular students, but mostly angry that some dumb, slutty bitch was wanting to pry into his personal life, not even appreciating the fact that he spent countless hours in the library helping you study to no avail because you couldn’t pay attention if your life depended on it… that this same dumb, slutty bitch was just getting her fun from teasing some nerd who is taken advantage of and forgotten by everyone… angry that you - with your pretty makeup, plump lips, short skirt, and overflowing cleavage - weren’t paying the price for your teasing.

Suddenly, Armin sat up in his chair, his muscles tensing through his clothes, and an aggravated look forming across his face, wrinkling his brows. He quickly takes a fistful of your hair and pulls you close to his face, allowing you to see the different shades of blue in his eyes and his soft, blond eyelashes. His innocent, geeky look is nowhere to be found on his face as he intensely stares into your eyes.

“It just so happens that this nerd likes to watch useless, empty-headed bimbos like you get their pussies abused,” he said, dominance seething from his teeth as his mint breath hits your face. Before you even have time to think, Armin unbuttons his slacks and practically forces your mouth on his hard, pretty cock.

Watching you gag and choke on his cock with saliva dribbling down your chin made him laugh. “You’re gonna have to be a little quieter, slut, we’re in a library remember?” he coos. He abruptly pulls you off his cock, taking in the sight of his lipstick-stained tip and the mascara tears streaming down your face. His treatment was so harsh and so sudden, making you miss the ‘nicer’ and ‘quieter’ Armin, but you couldn’t deny his sudden dominance made your aching cunt flood with arousal.

Before doing anything else, Armin scans the library, making sure no one is around. Grabbing your wrist, he forces you to sit on his lap, facing him on top of the library chair. Everything happened so quickly, barely even leaving you time to think, barely leaving you time to think that Armin was using your body to relieve his anger and frustration, not leaving you time to realize how sopping wet your needy cunt actually was.

Sitting atop his lap, he spreads your plush, soft thighs, exposing the fact that you didn’t wear any panties to this study session, causing Armin’s eyes to widen.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised that a whore like you wouldn’t wear anything underneath your short skirt to our little ‘play date,’” he snickers. He leans close to your ear, softly biting your neck. “It’s almost like you were asking to be fucked by me.”

You don’t know what to say. Your mind is so empty, fuzzy, and shocked that the only thing you can do is comply when he demands that you ride his cock. Armin lets out a low groan from the bottom of his throat as your tight, warm pussy encloses his thick cock. You let a pathetic whimper as he begins to thrust up into you, and Armin gives you a glare, reaching up and tightening his hands around your throat. “Remember, you have to be quiet, or are you too dumb to remember that?” he sinisterly smiles.

Armin begins to harshly thrust into you as you wrap your arms around his neck, holding onto dear life as he deeply penetrates your spongy, sensitive walls. He slithers his slender hands into your shirt and starts toying with your nipples and pinching them when you’re being too loud.

Groping your ass, he whispers in your ear, “you know, I don’t even know why you’re in college… you’re so dumb. Why don’t you just drop out and be my little slut for when I come back after class, huh?” You sink your head into the crook of his neck, embarrassment coming over you at the same time as pleasure fills your walls when he tells you those mean words.

He grabs your hair, forcing you to look at him. Your hair is a tangled mess, your makeup completely smeared, and your eyebrows furrowed as your innocent-looking eyes beg for some type of release.

“F-fuck, you look so dirty,” he groans, leaning his head back.

“And you look like two students who are going to be in so much trouble…”

Both of you tense up and look behind you to find the librarian staring daggers into your souls.

Immediately, you hop off of Armin’s dick, gathering your things as he struggles to pull up his pants. Both of you at an ungodly speed bolt out of the library doors. Yeah, getting potentially banned from the library would suck, but maybe it was something you both needed. Armin needed to learn to loosen up, have some fun, and you needed to learn to take things seriously and maybe just put in a little more effort.

“Ya’know, it’s kind of late. We can go back to my dorm, and I can help you study for maybe another half hour… if you want,” Armin shyly asks as you both continue running down the sidewalk.

“What about the other half hour?” you questioned.

Armin’s face grows red. “We can finish… chemistry…”

[pies-writes-and-more]

just friends

word count: 5,393

pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Fem!Reader

warnings: literally all fluff. maybe some swearing lol 

a/n: this literally was supposed to be a short fluffy drabble and turned into a full on fic haha. I wrote a lot of this while I was half asleep so please excuse any spelling mistakes haha. I hope you guys like it! 💕 gif below isn’t mind, creds to the original creator!

haikyuu masterlist

Your window was only open slightly, meant for allowing the cool air to flow in, while also aiding for a certain somebody’s quick escape if it came down to that.

The Fukurōdani Academy Group Summer Camp started tomorrow. Well. Today, if you count the fact that it was already 2AM.

It had originally been 11PM. 3 hours ago, Akaashi Keiji had crawled up the side of your house and tapped his knuckles ever so softly on your window. It had freaked you out for a second until he texted you “Lemme in”, to which you then moved to the window to greet him with a confused look.

“Akaashi, if my parents hear you-” you started, glancing over your shoulder and hoping they hadn’t somehow managed to get to your bedroom door without you noticing.

“Then stay quiet and help me in,” he shrugged, slowly plopping into your room and smiling down at you. “How’s your evening?”

You just stared at him, “Akaashi, it’s late!” You hissed as he crawled into your bed and got comfortable like he was meant to be there. “What’re you doing awake anyways? Don’t you have to be up early for your training camp?”

Akaashi just gave a hum and a nod, patting the other side of the bed he wasn’t currently occupying and giving you a smile. You rolled your eyes and tucked yourself in next to him. It didn’t matter that the two of you were slightly squished, if anything your bed actually felt comfier this way.

Without any more questions, you and Akaashi laid there for hours, whispering as the time ticked by. Your legs slowly tangled together under the sheets and you fit in his side as if you were made to be there.

“What’re you thinking about?” Akaashi asked suddenly, his voice coated with fatigue, eyes lazily opening to look over at you and your pensive expression. It had been so long between topics, you had actually started to think he had fallen asleep.

“What do you mean?” You smiled back at him, your fingers still tracing along the lines on his palm like you had been for the past 10 minutes.

“You’re too quiet to be not thinking. And you’re obviously not sleeping. So what’re you thinking about?” Akaashi explained, interlacing your hands together for a moment. Just to see how they fit.

“Why did you come?” You questioned after a moment, turning to really look him in the eyes this time. Akaashi had such a soft demeanour about him tonight, a gentleness that you hardly ever saw when he and Bokuto were getting up to their usual mischief. But he was always kind and sweet to you, always took a moment of his day to tuck your hair behind your ear, or pluck a piece of fluff off your shoulder. Always put his plans on pause to ask you about your day, texted you about life and school and plans for the future.

His future included nationals. Playing in front of crowds and cameras, screaming fans and loud cheers. His future included volleyball. But you always wondered if there was room for you in that future too.

Akaashi paused, watching your eyes and for a moment, you could’ve sworn he had looked at your lips, a flicker of something different crossing his eyes. “I needed to see you.”

He said it so casually. As if this was normal. As if it was normal for a guy to crawl into a girl’s bedroom and lay in her bed like they were already married.

“I see you practically every day when we’re at school,” you pointed out, brushing a piece of hair from his eyes and trying to determine what he was really thinking because lord knows you could never tell.

Akaashi just stared some more at you, eyes slowly blinking from exhaustion. “I’ll be busy the next few weeks. With volleyball. And I know you’ve got plans for the summer too. I just... wanted to see you before I got all busy. I wanted to just be here with you and pretend like i could come back here.”

“You could,” you added quickly, maybe a bit too quickly, because then he looked at you with surprise. “I like it when you come by,” you admitted to him quietly, sitting up slightly in your bed. “I’m going to miss you while you’re all busy this summer.”

“I can make time,” Akaashi said hurriedly, his teeth tugging on his lips as he sat up with you. “For you. I can make time.”

You look at him with a smile, his thumb grazing over your hand again as he interlaced your fingers together once more. The two of you sat there, both wanting to ask the hovering question that sat buried in your throats.

What are we?

We’re friends, you’d always insist to your friends.

But friends don’t come crawling into your room at the middle of the night to hold you and hold your hand.

We’re just friends, Akaashi had told the team before with flushed cheeks.

But no friend of Akaashi’s had ever made him so nervous, Bokuto pointed out. And friends don’t stare at each other across the room the way you two do.

What are we?

“You should go,” you pointed out as you felt the tensions rising, glancing at the clock. It was almost 3:30AM now. Maybe it was sleep exhaustion or maybe you were just tired of never knowing what you were to Akaashi, but you knew if you didn’t get him out of your room now, you might end up spilling your guts to him.

Had she felt me try to get the courage to confess? Akaashi wondered as he gathered his things, moving to leave from the window again. But not before he wrapped you up into another hug, pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. Do friends give forehead kisses?

“I’ll miss you,” he stated as he started to climb out the window.

“It’s not like you’re going across the world,” you teased with an awkward sort of laugh. “I’ll come see you guys maybe. When you’re not too busy.”

It could’ve been your imagination, but he seemed to lighten up at this idea. He nodded and pulled his backpack off for a moment to pull a hoodie from it. “To keep you warm when I’m not around,” he told you as he handed it to you. So casual. Like this was just something friends do.

“T-Thanks,” you tried to hide your smile, tried to hide the fact that you wanted to squeal out like a little girl. You held onto the hoodie as he gave you another little wave and crawled out of your house. You held it tighter as he landed on the ground, looking up at you and smiling at you like you were his romantic interest.

Do friends look at each other like that?

When he disappeared from view, you held the hoodie to your chest, smiling as you smelt his cologne or body wash or whatever the hell it was that made Akaashi smell like Akaashi. You crawled back into bed after closing your window tightly and turning off the lights, still gripping onto the hoodie he had left with you.

Do friends miss each other almost immediately after they’re gone? A few days later and there was Akaashi crawling through your window again. You heard the knock on the glass and found him with a tired smile on his face.

“Are you just going to keep visiting me in the middle of the night?” You asked with a giggle, watching him flop into your bed and open his arms asking you to join him.

“I have to look at sweaty annoying boys all day. What’s wrong with seeing a pretty girl every now and then?” He asked as you crawled in. Do friends say things like that to each other?

“Aw it can’t be all that bad,” you insisted, avoiding his eyes as you tried to wave off the compliment. “Bokuto is rather nice to look at.”

Akaashi huffed a bit, tickling your sides briefly until you reminded him in a harsh whisper that your parents were asleep. “Stop thinking about another boy while I’m here with you,” he stuck his tongue out at you playfully.

“Sorry I’ll stick to thinking about them when you’re not around,” you teased, making him poke at your side some more.

Did friends get jealous that easily?

“Why did you come?” You asked him after a while, tracing soft lines with your finger tips down his cheek and jawline, as if carefully measuring out a masterpiece because that’s exactly what he was. “Is the training camp really that bad?”

“Nah it’s alright. It’s fun getting to play with some new teams. Bokuto gets all excited about showing off his skills,” Akaashi responded softly, his eyes closing slowly as the two of you spoke.

“Aren’t you sore? From all your games?”

“Extremely. I’m not going to feel my legs tomorrow that’s for sure.”

“You shouldn’t have walked all this way then, idiot. You’re going to tire out your legs even more.”

“It’s worth it if I get to see you,” his voice was so quiet you weren’t even sure he actually said it. You looked up at him and found his eyes open again, watching you as if gauging your reaction.

Did friends make you feel like your heart would beat out of your chest? Do friends walk all the way to your house in the middle of the night after exercising all day?

What are we?

You wanted to ask, the words forming at your lips. The question was begging to be answered, pleading at your vocal cords to produce some sort of sound.

But what if you were reading into things?

What if friends really do all the things you wondered about? What if you weren’t exactly friends but weren’t anything more either? What if Akaashi saw you as a placeholder. A warm body to be everything a girlfriend could be until he found someone actually worthy.

What if you really were just friends?

Akaashi left a few moments later, groaning softly as he stretched and giving you another exhausted smile as he insisted he’d be back some other time. He traded sweaters with you, pulling out a brand new one for you from his bag and taking the one he had left earlier.

“I’m okay with this one Akaashi, why are you giving me another?” You asked confusedly.

He shrugged and you could’ve sworn there was a blush on his cheeks, “Just cause.”

He wrapped you up in a hug, pressed another kiss to your forehead and slipped out the window. Then spent the whole walk back shaking his head at himself for not saying what he wanted to say.

“Because I like how my clothes smell like you after you wear them,” he spoke aloud into the quiet night. “Because I wanted a part of me to always be with you. Because I don’t want you thinking about Bokuto, I want you thinking about me. Because I wanted to walk all this way to tell you how I felt and I chickened out again.”

The reasons piled into his head and he angrily kicked at some rocks as he walked. Why was it so much easier to think of why when he walked away?

“Because I want to know what we are,” he whispered to himself, stopping his footsteps and staring at the sky for a moment before walking further from you.

More days passed and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed when you didn’t hear from Akaashi as much. He was busy. You were busy. Everyone was busy, you told yourself. It’s not like he forgot about you. Or that he decided to ghost you.

It’s not like he found someone else. It was a volleyball training camp, who could he have found?

You wanted to tell yourself that there wasn’t anyone else and even if there was, it’s not like you had a claim to him anyway. You and Akaashi were just friends.

But you still waited for him every night, looking out the window in hopes he’d come.

Finally you heard a little tap at your window, and there was Akaashi with another tired grin. He seemed like he was glowing more than usual. He seemed bigger, more toned under his jacket.

“I missed you,” you told him shyly and the two of you curled back under the sheets together again.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, pressing his lips briefly against your forehead. “I got all caught up in training and even after the day is gone, everyone still wants to practice. Even that blond boy from Karasuno seems like he’s getting into it.”

You smiled and nodded, thinking about the few texts that Akaashi seemed to get out to you when he wasn’t so busy, “I’m sure everyone’s training hard for Nationals.”

Akaashi nodded and smiled, shifting so he was lying on his back and staring at your ceiling, “It’s getting really close. We got to be the best we can be.”

“You’re already really good. But I know you guys will win it all,” you beamed up at him excitedly. It was one of your favourite things, watching them play. And these National games always came with such excitement.

“Only if you’re there cheering us on,” Akaashi glanced at you, as if he had asked if you were coming and waiting for you to confirm.

“Of course,” you nodded up at him. “I wanna watch my boys beat everyone! Wipe the floor with them!”

Akaashi smirked and held onto you a little tighter, fingers dancing along your skin gently.

Did friends send tingles up your spine when they touched you? Because you hadn’t noticed it with anyone else but him.

“I can’t stay long tonight, love,” he whispered to you softly after an hour of whispered conversations passed. “I told Bokuto I’d wake up early with him and get some more practice.”

You nodded understandingly, though your heart felt a little as he started to move, “After your camp, maybe we can start doing all those summer things you wanted to do. When you’re not practicing of course.”

Akaashi chuckled and nodded, “Sure. Ice cream, find a beach, go swimming, whoop your ass in a water balloon fight,” he listed off.

You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder back as you insisted that he was definitely going to lose a water balloon fight.

His hands grabbed you by the shoulders, pulling you into another hug. This time a bit tighter, like he was scared you were fading away, “I’m sorry I can’t stay,” he murmured to you, pulling away slightly to look down at you. “But I promise I’ll come see you soon.”

Why did everything he say always seemed like something a boyfriend would say? Do friends say things like that?

“I know you’re busy, Akaashi, don’t worry,” you told him with a small shrug, staring at your hands nervously.

“Y/N...”

There was something in his tone... something so foreign. You looked up at him and saw nervousness in his eyes, his hands sliding down your arms to hold your hands.

“Yea?”

Akaashi cleared his throat awkwardly, his eyes glancing between yours and your hands.

“I- We...” he started.

What are we?

Three words.

Or maybe he should ask what you wanted you two to be?

Is that too much? Is that too pushy?

What if you didn’t think there needed to be anything more to this relationship? What if he was overthinking it? What if this was just for fun and you really were into Bokuto?

“Are you okay, Akaashi?” You asked after a moment of him stuttering.

“Yeah... we’ll do all those things and more,” he finally managed out, his eyes avoiding yours more now. “Promise.”

You nodded slowly, wishing he would keep holding your hand as you two moved away from each other. He traded sweaters with you again, pressed another kiss to your forehead, and disappeared into the night.

You spent the night wondering what he had started saying. Why was he so nervous tonight? What was it about tonight that made him so awkward? You hadn’t seen Akaashi nervous in a lot of situations. He was always so calm, but not tonight for some reason. Could it be that he was nervous… just like you were? Could it actually be that you two were something other than just friends?

It was the last day of the summer training camp and the smell of cooking meat made Akaashi’s mouth water. He looked around him, carefully calculating exactly what kind of meats he wanted to grab off of the barbecues. He and Komi chatted with Tsukishima briefly about their baby Ace’s tantrums, Akaashi smirking to himself as he watched his idiotic best friend going around with Hinata, drooling over the lunch. 

“When Bokuto told me to swing by for lunch, this isn’t quite what I expected.”

There was a little lurch in Akaashi’s chest, hearing that voice. He swung around to see you standing there, Suzumeda giving you a little wave after she had shown you to where the team was. “Glad you could swing by! It’s not every day we get to hang out with Akaashi’s friend,” she snickered, a teasing tone in the way she said friend. 

You and Akaashi both just looked at her funny before turning back to each other, a smile on your face, “Did you miss me?”

Akaashi just gave you a little smirk, grabbing you by your wrist and pulling you into a hug, “Obviously.” He smiled down at you. “Sorry, did you say Bokuto told you to come?” He asked suddenly, looking around to find a wide smiled owl looking Bokuto behind him.

“I just thought that you’d actually smile a bit if she came by!” Bokuto insisted with a laugh, hands on his hips all proud-like. “Good to see you, Y/N! Must be nice to come by and hang out with Akaashi huh?”

You smiled up at him and moved to pat his head affectionately, “Of course! But I like coming to see you too, Bokuto,” you teased.

Bokuto’s smirk seemed different this time as he gave Akaashi a wink, “Sure but there’s nothing wrong with being here solely for Akaashi so you two have some time together,” he grinn, poking your nose playfully.

Before you could ask him what he meant, questioning his word choices and teasing sort of tone, Bokuto got called across the field, eagerly grabbing a plate with the food.

“Are you hungry?” Akaashi asked, nodding towards the gloriously smelling food. You nodded but stayed at his side, finding the massive groups of boys a little daunting. “I’ll get you something then, you can stay around here.”

“Thank you,” you squeezed his arm gently and he just gave you one of those kind soft smiles before disappearing into the crowd.

“Come on! She’s super sweet, you’ll love her!” Suzumeda was saying, dragging a bunch of girls in your direction. You blinked in surprise, Shirofuku giving you a wave as she also made her way over.

“How you doing, Y/N?” Shirofuku wrapped her arms around you excitedly, squeezing you into a hug. “You should’ve come with us! You could’ve been a big help keeping these boys in line.”

You laughed, shaking your head, “I’m not quite sure I could do what you guys do,” you insisted shyly, smiling at the other girls who were smiling at you. “Hiya! I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” you offered to the new faces.

Soon, you met all the managers from the other schools and it didn’t take long for you all to be laughing and joking about the various attitudes and characters your teams all had.

“Aren’t you hungry, Y/N?” Kiyoko asked suddenly, noting the lack of food in your hand. “We have lots, and I’m sure some of these boys don’t need to have 7 helpings!”

You nodded and glanced behind your shoulder, finding Akaashi yelling at Bokuto for trying to steal all the meat. “Akaashi already said he’d grab me a plate. Figure it’s better than me getting lost in that group,” you pointed out and turned your eyes back to the girls. 

They were all sharing grins with each other, Suzumeda giggling, “Aren’t they adorable?”

You blinked in surprise as they laughed some more, tilting your head, “Who?”

“You!” Ōtaki laughed. “I don’t know Akaashi much but Shirofuku and Suzumeda told me you two really bring the best out of each other.”

You paused a bit more and the Fukurodani girls noted your hesitation, “Sorry, was it supposed to be a secret?” Shirofuku asked with wide eyes. “Leave it to Bokuto to go spilling everyone’s secrets!”

Your eyebrows furrowed more as you glanced between the girls, “I’m so confused. What secret?”

“That you and Akaashi were dating! We heard he snuck away between days here at the summer camp to go see you and that he finally confessed!” Suzumeda explained, her smile getting more and more stiff as you seemed more and more confused.

“Akaashi and I are just friends,” you insisted nervously, heart pounding against your chest. “W-Why would Bokuto tell people that?”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, we didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that! I thought it was pretty obvious you two liked each other,” Kiyoko admitted, the rest of the girls apologizing profusely. You shook your hands in front of each other, insisting that it wasn’t their fault that Bokuto was being dumb again, your face heating up from embarrassment.

You wondered just how many other people Bokuto had been whispering this news to, but it didn’t take long for you to find out. You excused yourself from the girls, saying you were going to find Akaashi and your food, but really just feeling way too embarrassed to look them in the eye.

You met with a few Karasuno third years, Daichi grinning as he told you that Akaashi had mentioned you before and said nothing but good things.

“It’s really great to finally meet you!” Sugawara had chimed in. “Bokuto told us about your new relationship so congratulations! I have to say, Akaashi seems like he’s smiling more that you’re around.”

You quickly insisted to them as well that you and Akaashi were in fact not dating and that you weren’t quite sure why Bokuto had gone round telling otherwise. The third years apologized on their behalf, sheepishly walking back to their team as you excused yourself yet again.

Even some of the Furkurodani boys grinned at you and gave you a thumbs up, thanking you for making Akaashi smile every now and then. As much as you wanted to take credit for those smiles, you weren’t quite sure how to awkwardly tell them that you and their setter were just. friends.

Did Bokuto not realize that you and Akaashi were just friends? Why was he torturing you like this? It’s not like he didn’t know you were constantly staring at his best friend. You wanted to slip away, hide in a corner, because now it felt like everyone was looking at you differently. You were no longer just a friend of the Fukurodani boys, now you were Akaashi’s girlfriend. You wanted that title more than anything, but not like this. And what would he say when he found out? He’d probably kill Bokuto for insinuating that the two of you were dating because you two were just friends. Just. Friends. And nothing more.

You finally managed to find Akaashi, who was giving a weird look to some of the Karasuno boys, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, “-who told you that?” He asked, a slight hint of surprise in his voice.

“Bokuto!” A small redhead grinned widely, catching your eye and his eyes widening, “Your boyfriend is so cool!” He yelled at you before stuffing his face with more food.

Akaashi whirled around to see you, both of you sharing a look of what the hell is going on? “I’m going to kill him,” he huffed as he walked over to you, handing you a plate of food. “I’m sorry I took so long but I piled enough on there for the two of us. But… everyone keeps asking me… questions.”

“About… us?” You asked slowly and he just shifted in his stance, nodding slowly. “Me too. Bokuto seems to have a big mouth for things that don’t exist.”

Don’t exist, the words rang in Akaashi’s head as he tried to remind himself that as much as he wanted, you two weren��t dating. He wasn’t sure why Bokuto had it in his mind that you were, or that he could go telling literally everyone around, but he would kill him first and ask questions later.

“Hey hey hey!” Bokuto yelled, as if he felt you two thinking about him and magically appeared behind you two. “How’s the happy couple!?”

“Bokuto, what did you do?” You groaned, not at all hungry anymore even though the food on the plate still smelled incredible.

“Do?” He asked, tilting his head as Akaashi groaned. “Why do you two look so stressed? It’s a BBQ!”

“Bokuto, you idiot. Why does everyone think we’re dating?” Akaashi asked him, flicking his upperclassman in the head. “What did you do?”

“Aren’t you?” Bokuto asked with a furrowed brow, looking between you two. “I thought all those nights Akaashi snuck away, I thought he finally got up the courage to tell you how he feels,” he told you, an oblivious and concerned look in his eyes. “Did he not tell you?”

“N-No,” you managed to get out, your face feeling hot again. What would it take to just forget all of this happened? To forget that Bokuto just insinuated that Akaashi has feelings for you? It had to be a lie right? Akaashi was going to insist that he didn’t have feelings for you and that you two were just friends. You didn’t want to hear it - you’d give anything to just slip away and forget this whole day ever happened. 

“Bokuto, I hadn’t told her yet,” Akaashi sighed instead, shaking his head. 

“You chickened out again?” Bokuto gaped, patting his friend’s shoulder in comfort. “It’s okay, I’m sure it’ll go great when you finally tell her!” He insisted, as if you weren’t standing right there.

“Tell me what?” You asked quietly, watching Akaashi’s somewhat strained expression. Why did he seem so nervous? What did Bokuto mean when he said Akaashi chickened out again? You didn’t want to believe that all of this meant what you thought it meant because getting your hopes up was terrifying. But you stared at him anyways, waiting for someone to explain to you like you were a child. 

Bokuto just grinned, looking between you two as if watching a film and waiting for the ending. “Go on, tell her!” Bokuto insisted to his friend, nudging him towards you.

Akaashi had a flush on his cheeks and he was starting to avoid your eyes. His weight shifted back and forth on his feet as he played with his fingers, sighing quietly, “I didn’t want to do this in front of everyone, Y/N,” he admitted softly.

Your heart was pounding in your ears. This couldn’t be happening now, could it? You were just friends, you were just friends, you were just friends. The words had been repeating in your head ever since Akaashi had first snuck into your room. You two were only friends - there was nothing more. You had to believe that. Because if there was something more, it meant leaving your heart open to be broken. What if he only liked you because you were available? What if he didn’t really see anything in you? What if he moved away after high school and the two of you drifted apart? Losing a friend hurts, but if you two took the next step and then you lost your friend and a lover? It would be devastating. 

“Stop overthinking,” Akaashi stated after a moment, his eyes finally catching yours and seeing that telltale sign that you were spiraling mentally. He took the plate from your hands, setting it on a nearby table so you weren’t holding it for forever. “I like you. I’ve always liked you. I wanted to tell you that night before the summer camp. And every other time that I came to see you. I’ve been wanting to tell you since that day we spent at the park and you kept picking flowers for me. You don’t make me feel like I need to be anything more than me.” Akaashi swallowed hard as he watched your eyes, feeling a little light headed as the words spilled from his lips. “I know we’re friends. But I don’t want to be just friends anymore, Y/N…”

“You don’t?” You asked softly, biting down on your inner cheek nervously. Was this really happening? Your hands were trembling at your sides, looking up at Akaashi like everyone else had disappeared (though you could still feel Bokuto squirming and squealing beside you, watching the interaction). 

Akaashi just gave you that same smile he always did, taking one of your hands and giving it a squeeze, “I’m tired of always telling people that we’re just friends. I don’t want just any friend in my sweaters and I don’t go climbing into people’s rooms in the middle of the night just because they’re a friend.”

“You did what?” Bokuto gasped, eyes widening but immediately shushing when Akaashi sent him a little glare for interrupting. 

Akaashi took another breath and just shook his head slightly, “I want us to be more than friends, Y/N. So maybe if you’re okay with it, we can start telling people that Bokuto isn’t a liar and that… you are my girlfriend?”

You looked around the space, expecting the sky to be falling or some imaginary creature to randomly show up. Because this had to be a dream right?

“You’re not dreaming, dummy,” Akaashi laughed, seeing the panic in your eyes. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. But I needed this off my chest,” he explained, starting to let go of your hand. You watched as a flash of disappointment crossed his eyes before you grabbed his hand again, squeezing.

“Of course I want to,” you breathed out shakily. “I just… always thought you wanted to be just friends. But I’ve always wanted something more with you.”

Akaashi’s face broke out into the biggest grin you’d ever seen before, pulling you into a tighter hug than he’s ever given you before, actually forcing a breath from your lungs.

“Don’t kill her before your first date!” Bokuto screeched, trying to pry Akaashi’s arms from around you. “God, that took you guys forever! I gotta go tell everyone that I’m not a liar now!” Bokuto beamed, rushing away from the new couple to shout it from the top of his lungs that his best friend finally had a girlfriend.

Akaashi laughed a bit and shook his head, watching his idiotic friend bounce around. “You should eat,” he pointed out after your hug was interrupted by the sound of your stomach growling.

You nodded and smiled up at him, “Only if you eat with me.”

“Of course. Can’t leave my girlfriend to eat on her own now, can I?” He teased, a smile on his face as he realized how easy and natural it seemed to call you that. The two of you walked around before finding a spot to eat, mingling with those around you.

You watched as Akaashi talked to people, so calm and almost unaffected by everything that just happened. But then he’d look at you with a smile, open his mouth for you to feed him and take your hand in his, and you felt like you were falling for him all over again. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself later thinking about how many people you were going to have to hear “I KNEW IT” from. Because maybe you and Akaashi were just a little bit more than friends.

Okay fine, a lot more.

haikyuu taglist:

@al0ehas​ @aurumk​ @neko-chii1​ @thisnoodlewritesao3​ @satan-ruler-of-hells​ @trashy-simp​ @jeppiet​ @tobi-momo​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​ @jesssobs​ @b-bakana​

[shotorozu]

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[crescentsteel]

Just Friends - Part 4

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo as a university student, model fem reader

word count: 5612

A/N: I enjoyed writing this chapter, thus the extra thousand words. Don’t know how I should tag this. Smut, fluff, sexual tension (even though they had sex already?) I don’t really know lol. 

Listening to Over and Over Again by Nathan Sykes while writing the rooftop scene.

There’s still 4 chapters in my head. I know its so long already but like I just can’t let go of my original vision haha

Part 3 | Part 5 | m.list

After you finish reviewing your last paper for the semester, you walk to his couch and let yourself fall on it.

“Finally!”

You’re done with the semester. You feel relief, but you also feel the weariness of the past weeks coming down on you. You thought that when you finish all your requirements and exams, the first thing you’re going to do is have sex with Kuroo. Especially since you were at his place already.

“You done with your paper?” he says loudly from his room.

‘Yep!”

You hear his footsteps approaching. He lifts your legs up and places it on his lap as he sits. You ignore him and continue to relax. His fingers start to slowly caress your legs up to your thighs. You know where he’s going with it, and it does feel nice, but not sexually.

You sit up, which gets his attention. He makes his move immediately and is about to kiss you. Before his lips touch yours, you cover them with your hands. He stops with a puzzled look on his face.

“Sorry. I know it’s been a while, but I’m still tired.”

He grips your wrist and puts your hand down. He holds both your shoulders and nuzzles your neck.

“Mmm. I can’t change your mind?”

You laugh weakly and ruffle his usual bed hair.

“Let’s watch something on Netflix. Maybe we can ‘chill’ later.” You give him a lopsided smile which he returns.

“Alright. What do you wanna watch?”

“Romance.”

He frowns at you.

“What? I wanna watch something that does not need my full attention.” You defend yourself.

“Mkay.”

It’s been around an hour since the movie started. Your mind is afloat while you watch. You can’t follow the story, but you like this state of doing nothing and something at the same time. You check on how Kuroo is, only to find him asleep. You’re amused at how this isn’t so surprising. After all, you aren’t the only one who juggled studies. You’re not even sure if he’s done with his own.

You scoot beside him. You’re about to wake him up to tease him about sleeping, but he looks really out of it. You stare at him for a while. You don’t tell it to him because he’s going to rub it in your face, but he really is good-looking. You brush up his bangs that was always blocking his face. You get a full view of his features. You’ve never paid attention to how he looks when sleeping.

Before you know it, you lean closer to him and kiss him on the forehead. After your lips leave his skin, you freeze in horror. What the hell did you just do?!

You’re only friends with benefits. Nothing about that was sexual nor friendly. You know your boundaries. You shouldn’t have done that. You don’t even like Kuroo like that. Right?

You shake your head furiously. No no no. You’re just really tired. Maybe your brain absorbed the romance even though you weren’t fully paying attention to the movie. Yeah. That was it.

You like Kuroo for sex and sex only.

You shake him furiously. He sits up abruptly.

“Huh? What happened?” He’s obviously startled by how you shook him, but his eyes are still a bit disoriented.

You stand up and remove your shirt. Your shorts go next. He puts his arms on his thighs and slouches a bit to look at you more closely. His once-disoriented eyes are now completely focused on you.

You hold his gaze as you strip yourself naked down to your underwear. That was all it took for the air to sizzle with lust. Since you’re at it, might as well make the most out of it. You stride slowly towards him. You give your hips a bit of a sway, lingering minutely in each step you take. You keep your eyes on his, not faltering in any way.

When you reach him, you straddle his lap. His hardness that’s rasping his flimsy boxers instantly lets you know that he enjoyed the show. You cup his face and kiss him right away. You don’t waste any time. You stick your tongue on his mouth as you grind on his hard-on. You want to feel him more. You want it now. You have to harshly remind yourself that this is what you came for.

You take out his member and position it at your entrance.

Kuroo pulls away from the kiss. He holds your hips in place, stopping you.

“Is something wrong, kitten?”

His lust-filled eyes now have a hint of worry in them. Why should it matter if something is wrong? That shouldn’t be an issue. You want to be had. Plain and simple.

Damn it. You don’t like how this is making you feel.

“Nothing. Don’t you want it?” you ask impatiently.

“Hah! Of course I do. But you seem upset.”

You underestimate how he notices almost everything. No way you’re going to let him know what’s going on in your head.

You sigh. You hug him and purr on his ear.

“Tetsu, I badly need you to fuck me right now.”

He grunts. You never use his first name. You don’t use swear words as well. Only now.

That does the trick. You feel him twitch underneath you. You feel his grip tighten on your hips that it almost hurts.

“Oh kitten,” he places an open-mouthed kiss at your shoulder.

“I’m gonna ruin you tonight.” You shiver at how dangerously he said those words.

He pulls your hair, making you look at him again. You shudder at the raw desire completely visible on his face.

He plays with one nipple with his tongue while his right hand gropes the other. His left hand goes to your groin. He traces the warmth of your slit and rubs your clit at the end of his strokes. You grip his shoulders tightly for support. You yelp when he bites the hard bud while inserting two fingers inside you.

Ahh yes. This is what you want, to let both of your carnal hunger for each other take over you. To let it cloud your head and consume you until your mind goes blank.

—

You look for your laptop in the back seat, but it wasn’t there. You’re a hundred percent sure that you did not take it to your unit last night. You were so out of it that you just got inside, laid down, and slept. That could only mean that you left it at his apartment.

You hurriedly take out your phone and dials his number. After three rings, he picks up.

“Hey. Can I go there? I think I left my laptop there.”

“I’m not home, but I do have it with me. I was just about to call if you’re at campus.”

“Actually, yes I am.”

“I’m around the area. I’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.”

“Alright. Thanks!”

You drop the call first.

You find a seat at the benches near the university gate. You’ll just wait for him here so he won’t need to find you.

“Oh hi y.n. Have you submitted our last paper?” It’s Kira, one of your classmates from your Management Theories class. She’s with another classmate of yours, but you don’t remember her name.

You give both of them a frail smile. That was all you could manage.

“Not yet. I’m waiting for someone before I do.”

“You okay y.n.? You don’t look too good. You must’ve stayed up all night for our paper.”

“Hahaha. Yeaaah.”

Blatant lie. You finished your paper early. It was Kuroo that kept you all night. A man of his word he is, he ravaged you senseless. It was only sheer willpower that gave you the strength to drive home at 2am.

In fact, you don’t want to go outside today. Your shoulders are tender. Your hips and legs ache. You feel sore between your thighs. Even walking is a chore You just want to lie down and waste the day away.

You hear your text notification.

“I’m here.”

When you find him, his eyes are already on you. He grins and waves at you. You can see your laptop bag on his hand. You meet him halfway.

“Are you sick?” He puts his hand on your forehead. You swat his hand away.

“No. But my everything hurts.” You speak softly.

“Oya?” You pout and glare at him. He puts up his usual conceited grin.

“You asked for it, kitten.” He inches closer to you and tilts your chin up.

“Remember?”

You feel your face getting warm. You always match his provocations. You don’t back down, but that was when you’re at the confines of his apartment. This is the first time you’re in a public space since you met at the bar. This is your university, your domain. You are very much aware that other students who might know you, are passing by.

You gently push him with one hand.

“Stop it. We’re in public.” You warn him while looking around.

“Alright, alright. Here’s your thing.” He hands you your laptop bag.

“Uhh. Thanks, Kuroo.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“It was Tetsu last night.” You scoff. “That was a one-time thing. You should’ve savored it.”

You freeze when you feel his hand on your cheek. You’re not sure which is warmer, his hand or your face.

“I did savor it.” He pinches it lightly before letting go.

Before you’re able to react, he scurries away with a stupid smile. “Hehe. See ya, y.n” he salutes with two fingers and finally leaves.

You want to be annoyed, but you’re too tired.

“You and your boyfriend look like you came from a magazine. You’re so tall and pretty.” You hear Kira’s voice behind you. You harshly turn around to explain. You wave your hands frantically. “No, no, no. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Eeehh? But you were so sweet.”

You laugh nervously. “He’s just a friend.”

Kira nods. “You should go home after you submit our paper, y.n. Your face is very red now.”

Damn him.

—

When you passed your paper two weeks ago, that officially ended your semester. Aside from your modeling gigs, you’ve only stayed at home. Kuroo’s been asking if you want to hang out, but you’ve been ignoring him. You needed the rest from juggling sex, work, and studies. You thought that you need to focus on one for now - work. But now you’re getting bored. It’s been two days since your last gig. What should you do today?

An unknown number suddenly pops on your phone.

“Hello y.n.?” It was a familiar calm voice.

“Kenma?”

“Yea. But it’s Kuroo who asked me to call.” You hear fumbling on the other end.

“Oi. Y.n. Why do you answer Kenma’s call but ignore mine, huh?” You sigh. You don’t really want to explain that you need some time away from him.

“Never mind that. I’m at Kenma’s. Wanna play here?”

You perk up. That’s perfect. You don’t have anything to do today. It’s also been a while since you played altogether.

But, you’ve never been over at Kenma’s.

“Is it okay with him?” It might be Kuroo’s idea. You don’t want to impose.

“Kenma! You don’t mind, right?” You hear Kenma but couldn’t make out what he said.

“Yep. He said it was fine. I’ll text you the address.”

You drive to the address he gave you. He said to just enter, so you did. You follow Kuroo’s loud voice to locate them. You open the door where you hear his voice from. Both of them take their eyes away from the screen to see who entered.

“Look who’s back from the dead.” You don’t want to admit it but it was nice to see his usual grin.

“Missed me, Kuroo?” You tease back.

The two-week break did you some good. You’re back to how you are with each other, in your part at least. No weirdness involved.

“Hey Kenma.” you give him a warm smile. He greets back with a curt nod.

“So what’re we playing?” You sit beside Kuroo.

“I wanna race y.n.” Kenma says.

“Ooh. That means you’re in my seat, Kuroo.”

“Fine,” he unwillingly hands you the controller.

You switch places. Kenma goes to his disc collection and looks for the game you’re going to play.

“By the way y.n., aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

“For what?”

Pride shines on his face. “Hehe. I’ve passed all my subjects. I’m officially graduating this semester.”

You gape at him in astonishment. You know he’s a Senior, but you thought he’s going to graduate next semester, not this one.

“Whoa. I- uh.” You don’t know how to react. Should you hug him? Shake his hand? Kiss him?

Wait, what? You shake your head. Kenma’s here. No indecencies allowed.

“But why aren’t you celebrating?” you ask.

“I did already. I was gonna invite you actually, but you weren’t answering my texts,” he says it casually, but his face is serious.

It‘s nice of him to want to invite you to celebrate such a milestone in his life. Maybe you really are actual friends despite being shagmates. Now you feel bad for ignoring him because you felt strange around him lately.

“Um sorry. I didn’t know.” you apologize awkwardly while looking away. Your face lights up when you think of a way to make it up to him.

“Do you want anything in particular as a grad gift?”

“You can ask for that newly released game” Kenma quickly answers from across the room. You laugh when Kuroo makes a face.

“Hey. I’m the one she’s asking.”

Kenma returns to his seat and starts the game.

“Think about it while we play,” you say.

He doesn’t seem to be thinking though. While you’re racing with Kenma, Kuroo keeps on taunting you to beat Kenma. He abandons sitting and moves behind you.

“Left, left. GO LEFT!” With his hands on your shoulders, he nudges your upper body to the left as you swerve through a curve. You two are in sync in movement which adds to your excitement. You go through two nitrous while Kenma slips on a banana.

“Bye Kenmaaaa” you can’t help but egg him on. You’re grinning so hard your cheeks are starting to hurt. You’re almost at the finish line. Finally, you can beat Kenma at something on the first try.

“Haha! Good one, kitten.”

You go rigid. You glance at Kenma to see his reaction. He’s still focused on the game. Hopefully, he didn’t hear. When you return your eyes on the screen, you hit a shell. You slow down while Kenma gets back to being first. You do your best to catch up, but he’s already at the finish line.

“So close.” you groan in frustration. You could’ve won if Kuroo wasn’t such an idiot.

“Heh. My turn.”

“Don’t you need to be somewhere tonight?” Kenma asks Kuroo.

He looks at the time. “It’s way too early,” then he stills for a second before sitting beside you again.

“I know what I want y.n.” His smile tells you upfront that he’s up to something. You ready yourself for what it is.

“Come with me tonight.”

“Where? What for?”

“We have this batch graduation party at a hotel. We’re allowed a +1.”

“Uhh. Why me?”

“Cause you’re pretty.” Kenma says in a nonchalant manner.

“Not just pretty. You’re way hot. My batchmates will be jealous of me nyehahaha.” You just stare at his animated state of idiocy.

“Sorry about him y.n.” When you look at Kenma, he shares the same expression you have.

“Won’t you get bored if I’m there?”

“Nah. I planned to go alone before asking you.”

“Why not ask Kenma?”

“Pass.” Kenma says too quickly.

“That’s why.” Kuroo confirms.

“Don’t you want anything else? I can get you anything.” You try to negotiate something else that you can buy for him.

“That’s too easy for you. And I don’t really need anything.”

You exhale heavily while rubbing your face.

“Okay, sure.” You grumble.

“Yes!” He laughs maniacally.

To be honest, you’re a little uncomfortable about this. You’re sure people will think you’re dating. Ugh. Whatever. Since he asked for it as a gift, you’ll give it to him just this time.

“I’m thirsty. Does anyone want water?” Kuroo suddenly stands up and heads to the kitchen.

“I’m good,” you say while Kenma just shakes his head.

“So,” Kenma spoke as soon as Kuroo left the room. You turn to him.

“Kitten, huh?”

Your whole body tenses up. He heard it! You have no excuse this time. You feign innocence and smile so fake that it’s making you cringe. Kenma’s smarter than you thought. If he pulled this off before Kuroo asked you, you wouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wait. He’s also the one who reminded Kuroo of the event even though it’s still early in the afternoon. Did he do that deliberately because he knew Kuroo’s going to ask you in that instance?

Ugh.

You know that Kuroo is very perceptive, but Kenma’s just on a different level that it’s almost scary.

“I think I’m gonna get some water too.” You make your escape to the kitchen and give Kuroo some verbal beating.

–

Maybe he should’ve gone together with you. It’s been thirty minute since he got there. He’s even late, but he still hasn’t heard from you.

He takes out his phone to call you, but his thumb stops when he sees his outgoing calls history. It was mostly your number from the amount of times he’s called you from the past two weeks. They were all missed though. You never answered him.

Admittedly, he was worried when you were ignoring his texts and calls. That’s why you had to use Kenma’s phone to check up on you because he has no idea where you live.

Of course, neither of you is obligated to reply or show up to each other, but he does care more than a fuck buddy should. It wouldn’t hurt for you to take 5 seconds to reply to his texts. What bothered him the most is that maybe he went overboard with the teasing and pissed you off for real.

He’s glad that you seemed normal this afternoon. You were actually nice to have thought of giving him something for graduation. He didn’t think that you would. You even agreed to be his date tonight. He didn’t exactly phrase it that way earlier because you might feel off with the word ‘date’.

Instead of calling you, he sends a text message to know where you are.

Someone puts a hand on his shoulders. “Hey Kuroo. Are you with someone tonight?” It’s Reiji, a batchmate with the same major.

“Hell yeah I am.” The confidence in his voice makes Reiji curious. “Where is she?”

“Running late,” he answers thriftly. Reiji nods his head and looks around. Reiji suddenly stands up straight and shakes his arm violently.

“Someone brought a hottie. Look!” Reiji continues to shake his arm to urge him to look at said hottie. He doesn’t care though. He looks at his phone to see if you’ve replied.

“I swear, Kuroo. She looks like a freaking model.” The word ‘model’ didn’t go unheard. He instantly turns to the direction Reiji was looking.

Reiji is a fucking tool. You aren’t just hot. You look absolutely divine. You’re wearing a crimson dress that hugged your marvelous figure. It goes just above your knees, but there’s a knot on both sides that hitches the dress higher to show just the right amount of skin on your gorgeous thighs. It has flimsy straps that highlight your neck and shoulders.

The only time he saw you with makeup was the night you met, and that was only lipstick. Tonight, a glossy shade of peach is tinted on your lips. You’re wearing eyeliner that’s intricately drawn, giving your eyes that sultry look.

You’re also wearing heels which makes you stand out even more.

The most captivating of all is how you carry yourself. You are not overdressed in any way. The clothes are just right for the hotel setting. It’s the way you walk with finesse while occasionally glancing at corners that makes you look like royalty who’s checking on her subjects.

Others are also staring, but you don’t seem to notice or maybe you don’t mind at all.

Your eyes finally meet his. He suddenly feels nervous. He has all the cockiness, but he can’t muster any right now. You look down for a while and tuck your hair behind your ears. Then you give him a coy smile before you approach him. Ah fuck.

“What the- Did she just smile at you?!” His lips form a lopsided smile as his ego swells up. He pats Reiji twice. “Sorry dude. That hottie is with me.” He puts his hands on his pockets. He raises both eyebrows and gives Reiji a meaningful look before marching to meet you.

He puts a hand on your shoulder when you’re within reach. The stares that were previously on you are now shared between you two.

“You’re late,” he says in a hushed voice.

“Deliberately, of course. Now everyone knows the pretty girl is with you. Be a little thankful.” You respond in the same manner while giving him a pleasant smile for everyone to see.

You really are a sly one. His hand goes to your waist and leads you to his friends. He introduces you as a special friend of his. He gives them vague answers when they ask if you guys are dating. You ride with it. You don’t just nod when there’s a conversation. You actually join in it and keep up with what’s going on.

There’s a time when he had to leave you for a while because a professor from his department asked him about his plans after graduation. He doesn’t prolong the conversation because someone might hog you.

He excuses himself and finds you giggling with his batchmates. He smiles to himself. You really kept your end of the bargain. You aren’t just the hot chick, you also have wits to boot.

He goes back to your side. “Sorry folks, but I’m getting her back.”

“Whaat? Cmon.” He hears more grumbles of disagreement, but he doesn’t care. He wants you to himself now. You smile politely to them and bows your head. “Nice to meet you guys.”

“C’mon.” He guides you out of the hall. “Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.”

He goes in an elevator and presses the highest button.

“I have to say. I didn’t think you’d cooperate this well.”

You sneer at his indirect praise. “I’m an amazing trophy girl, aren’t I?”

He nods approvingly and claps slowly. “Brilliant honestly.”

You punch him playfully on the arm.

The elevator dings and reveals the rooftop. He lets you go first and follows. The floor is amazing. The lights are warm and there’s soft music playing in the background. The clear view of the city lights is the biggest attraction.

“Woooow,” the look of awe palpable on your eyes.

“Cool, right?” He asks, but you don’t answer. You just absorb the view in front of you. The breeze blows your hair gently, showing more of your profile.

“Don’t you want to sit? Your feet must hurt from those shoes.”

You shake your head. “Not really. I’m used to it. I’ve stood and walked in heels for long periods of time.”

“From work?”

“And family. I’m also their trophy girl sometimes.”

He looks for any hint of sadness but you say that as a matter of fact only. On the contrary, you look back at him with warmth in your eyes.

“Congratulations Kuroo.” The smile he sees is like the one he saw when he cooked for you. He’s a bit moved that you are truly happy for his achievement.

“Thank you.” He returns the sincerity.

You both enjoy the silence and the twinkling lights laid before you. The soft music in the background is the only sound audible presently.

“Come here.” He grabs you by your wrist and pulls you close. He puts your arms around his nape.

“What’re you doing?” You struggle a bit from his grip.

“My gift still hasn’t ended, right?” He outsmarts you, yet again. You blink twice and heave.

“You’re really milking this, aren’t you?”

He wraps his arms arounds your waist when you stop resisting. He starts swaying slowly, following the rhythm of the song. He revels in the feeling of your body pressed to him. The natural thing to do would be to whisk you away from here, take you to his place, and bang you wildly. But that’s not what he wants right now. This. This is enough for him for now. Having you this close gives him unspeakable contentment.

He lifts your chin with a finger so you’ll look at him. He returns his arm to your waist once you’ve locked eyes.

“You really look beautiful tonight.” He finally tells you. You’re too gorgeous not to let you know.

You blink twice at him with your mouth a few centimeters apart. The make-up doesn’t hide the subtle pink shade that suddenly glowed on your cheeks. Lovely. He won’t miss this opportunity.

He swiftly dips down just to stop with his lips a few inches from yours. He can feel you completely tensed. The breath you’re holding is apparent.

“Relax, y.n.” His one hand climbs to your back to caress it, ushering you to ease up. When you loosen up, he claims your lips. When you melt in his arms in complete surrender, it’s enthralling. The warmth of your mouth against his is too good for words. He can’t get enough. You open your mouth letting him slip in his tongue. He adores how you reciprocate with the same passion.

Your right hand travels from his nape to his chest. How this is still non-sexual is beyond him. He can kiss you like this all night.

The ring of laughter that echoed in the air breaks the enchanted bubble you two were just in. A group of people enters the floor. You get away from him hastily.

“We should go.” You tell him while avoiding his gaze. You make your way to the elevator without waiting for him. One of the girls who just came in lingers her eyes at your face. You ignore it and get in the elevator. Kuroo goes right after you.

When the elevator closes, you see your reflection. Your lipgloss was smudged all over. No wonder the girl was staring. You hurriedly get a napkin from your purse to wipe it off.

“Can I take my gift home?” You don’t know if it’s you or his voice lacks the regular egotism it has. You still steer clear of looking at him so you can’t see his face.

You still haven’t recovered. No one has kissed you like that. It was agonizingly delicate but ardent. It felt like drowning but floating at the same time. You can still feel your heart pounding at your chest.

You laugh timidly to shake it off. You need to get back to your cheeky self before he notices.

“Sorry, but the gift is getting tired.” You do your best to look normal when you finally face him.

“I’ll drive you home then.” You want to refuse, but it would be weird. You just told him you’re tired. It’d be obvious that you just want to get away from him.

You defeatedly give him your keys.

The ride to your place was spent in silence. You close your eyes to straighten your mind. It was nothing. That was just a regular make out session done in a very romantic setting. It’s probably completely normal for him, so it should be for you too.

“I’ll let you borrow the car so you don’t have to take a cab home.” You interrupt the stillness. “You don’t have to. It’s still early anyways.”

“Consider it a consolation since you can’t take the gift home.” You did it. You said something your usual self would.

“I’d rather take the gift itself, so no.” Damn it. Just when you thought you’ve regained your sass, he instantly shoots it down. You’re almost at your place.

“Holy shit. You live at Roppongi Hills?!” He says out of the blue. Oh right. You’ve never let him drive you home. You didn’t see the need for him to know where you live. You’re also wary of your privacy. You completely forgot about that because of what happened earlier.

“Parking is over there.”

He stops the engine when he finds a spot. You get out of your car immediately.

“Thanks for driving me home. Night.” You greet dryly.

“I want to see your place at least.”

“Buy why?” You whine in frustration. You just want to lie in bed and distract yourself from any thoughts about him.

“Oh y.n. You’ve been keeping me out since day 1. Now that we’re here, can’t you spare this unfortunate man a peek?” He laments dramatically.

His acting is so bad that your laugh echoed at the corners of the parking lot. God, his humor really gets you. You speak when you catch your breath, “A peek it is then, unfortunate man.” Finally, you feel the air between you two clear up.

He follows you when you go inside the building.

“Good evening, maam.” Ths security guard bows as he greets you.

“He’s with me,” referring to Kuroo. “Good evening, sir,” he greets Kuroo as well.

When you’re out of earshot, he says, “Sometimes I forget how ridiculously rich you are. Maybe I should start calling you milady or somethin.”

“Call me ‘Mistress,’ you lowly servant,” you say jokingly.

His eyebrow and the corner of his mouth both shoot up at the same time. “So you’re into that, huh?”

“I was kidding of course!”

“Let me stay and I’d serve you all night, y.n.”

The right response would be to ask him how he plans to serve you exactly. But you panic instead, the thought of even kissing him again makes you nervous like crazy. Crap, you’re really losing it. You pray that you aren’t blushing.

“Tough luck, Kuroo. I just want to lie down and do nothing for the night.” You bring the conversation back to normal before it escalates into something that involves you and him having any intimate contact.

When you get to your unit, you let him in. You keep the door open. You don’t want to be enclosed here with him in it. The last thing you need is him tainting your place. You don’t want to wake up and realize that he’s had his way with you on your own bed.

His eyes survey every corner, looking very impressed at the interior. “Daaamn. My place is shit compared to this.”

You check your phone. Five minutes from now, you’re kicking him out.

“You can get your water in the fridge if you want.” You mentally praise yourself for keeping the conversation light and breezy.

“Left or right?”

You sigh loudly. You make your way to your kitchen. Halfway through, you hear your door creak. Oh no. You hear it thud close.

“Say y.n., what should I do so I can stay here tonight?” Despite the huge space, you feel trapped. His eyes are intensely piercing on you. You gulp to clear the build-up of nerves that blocked your throat.

“Y-You just can’t.” How dare you stutter!

As he takes his steps to cross the distance between you, you grow even more fidgety. You want to step back, run away even. If he pulls off the same stunt on the rooftop earlier, you don’t know if you can hold back the unwanted feelings you’ve been disregarding recently. You’ve been pushing them at the back of your head, telling yourself excuses, and convincing yourself that it’s nothing. And until tonight, you were successful.

You don’t want to have feelings for Kuroo. You won’t be able to handle the complexity of the situation that would arise.

You waver when he gently strokes your cheek.

“Hey,” he says it so gently that your eyes reach for his, pulled in by the magnetism of his voice.

They hold the same mellow tenderness they had while ago. He’s never been like this with you. Only tonight.

Maybe he - no. You shouldn’t delude yourself like that. This can go very bad for you if you make a mistake. You’ll end up falling for someone who enjoys only the sex and company, nothing more. What you’ve been feeling since you left the hotel is fear. You’ve been repressing all these thoughts and they’ve built up to this situation. You are now in a sitch wherein you’re scared that if he makes his move, you’ll be too powerless to stop yourself.

He lowers his head, closing in inch by inch. Too close for comfort. His lips go past yours and lands on your cheek. It’s only a soft peck.

“I really liked your gift,” he says with authenticity, then lets you go.

He heads for the door. Your eyes absent-mindedly trail him as he exits.

“Good night, y.n” He winks and closes your door.

You go to your bed and sit. Your eyes are fixated at the wall while your brain tries to make out what just happened. You stuff your face in a pillow and squeal with frustration. Who are you kidding?

Kiss or no kiss, you fell for him.

Part 3 | Part 5 | m.list 

[high-functioning-lokipath]

Chapter 3 - First Come First Serve - Words: 2,788

"Here's her profile, Greg," Sergeant Donovon said, dropping a folder on her boss's desk.

"Clarissa Hughes, aged 32, brown and blue, 5' 5", No. 1 District, been on the force since '10, promoted to Sergeant in '17. Unmarried, unattached, no children, father deceased, mother living in Manchester, one sister in America." Greg sighed after reading the file. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his forehead. He never liked cases involving one of his own. They always gave him a migraine.

The scene yesterday was impressive even for someone like him who'd been in New Scotland Yard for over 30 years. The young woman had been found in her apartment, laying face down on the floor. A small bullet hole in the window revealed a sniper had been perched on the roof of a nearby building. While there were entry and exit wounds, they had not yet found the bullet to give to ballistics.

"There's not much to go on. It could have been random. Maybe she had one bad date with someone who was a bit off their rocker and-"

"Inspector," Anderson interrupted.

"Yes?" Greg replied, migraine now doubling.

"They found this at the scene." Anderson held out a Ziploc with a ruby red, silk handkerchief. It had no markings on it, not even a snag, save for the small, gold R embroidered on the corner.

"Where did they find it?"

"It was special delivered today with no return address or other markings."

"Now why would a woman, whose name does not start with R, order a monogrammed handkerchief."

"Bored!"

*bang*

"BORED!"

*bang bang bang*

"Sherlock! I swear you had better stop that or I will call Lestrade this time and tell him it was you who put the hallucinogen in Anderson's tea!"

"Fine!"

"Good!”

*thwap thud thwap thud thwap thud*

"Sherlock?"

"I'm being quiet!"

"What are you doing?"

"A bow and arrow are much more satisfying!"

"Oh -!"

"Torry! Guess what!" Erin called out to her roommate from the living room of their shared apartment.

"You're moving out?" She called back, teasing as usual.

"Haha, very funny," Erin deadpanned. "Really though, this is awesome."

"Did we get a case?"

"Better!"

"Two cases?"

"Torry!"

"Ok! What?"

"In exactly 1 month you and I will be in London, England speaking at the International Inspectors Convention."

"Wow! That's fantastic! I wonder if-" Torry paused. "Nevermind."

"Don't worry, Torry, I already checked," Erin winked. "He's scheduled to speak the day after us."

"Inspector, there's been another murder," Donovan announced, walking up to Lestrade in the break room.

"Ok," he replied. "Is it my division?"

"Yes, this time it was Amelia Walker. She was an Inspector in No. 3 District." Greg slammed his mug down on the counter.

"Walker and Hughes were two of our best inspectors! Have you found any connection yet?" The two grabbed their jackets and headed downstairs.

"Nothing yet. The landlady just reported her body. Anderson's there now with his team."

"Ok then, let's go." The two got in the car and headed off. When they arrived, Anderson rushed up holding a small envelope.

"Another one just arrived," He said. Lestrade grabbed the envelope and looked inside. Sure enough, another ruby red handkerchief with an embroidered R on the corner. "I asked the delivery boy where he got it from but he said he didn't know. It was a different boy this time too."

"Where is she?" Lestrade asked. They followed Anderson over to the body. "Cause of death?"

"Another sniper." Anderson showed them the bullet hole in a nearby window. Lestrade shook his head.

"Did ballistics ever get a lead on the gun?"

"Nothing," Donovan replied. "It's a standard sniper rifle but there are literally hundreds of those to try and track down."

"There must be something we're missing," Lestrade groaned.

"Ah! London! Doesn't it smell great!" Erin exclaimed, taking a deep breath as they stepped off the plane.

"It smells like airplane fuel. Let's wait till we actually leave the airport," Torry replied.

"Ok, grumpy. Geez, remind me never to take you on a flight again." Torry growled in reply but Erin just chuckled. "Let's go get our bags and head to the hotel."

"And go straight to bed. I'm dead."

The next day, the inspectors convention started. There were hundreds of private investigators, police inspectors, and a few other kinds of detectives. Torry kept her eye out for one specific "Consulting Detective" but there was no sign of him on the first day. They did however meet their hotel room neighbor, Frances Grant. She had been an inspector at NYS in London until she moved to Manchester about a year ago.

"Nice gal," Erin commented, walking out of their bathroom that night.

"Yeah. I wonder what that case she mentioned was," Torry replied from her bed, already laying down.

"I don't know. She said she was going to help her old academy friend investigate while she was here, right?"

"Mm," Torry agreed. "Must be pretty serious," She said sleepily.

"Are you really already going to sleep?"

"And why shouldn't I?"

"Seriously? We're in a hotel, got to bed early, have the opportunity to actually watch BBC from London and you want to sleep."

"Yes. You watch TV and tell me all about it when I wake up. I won't be able to stay awake to give BBC my full attention when I'm this tired."

"Party pooper," Erin teased as she plugged in her earbuds. Torry grunted in reply and went to sleep. 2 hours later, Erin was nearly asleep still watching late night mystery shows on BBC.

*CRASH*

"What the-" Erin startled awake. Looking at the TV she saw the detective on the show had just been shot. "Oh, should probably turn that off and go to sleep," She whispered to herself. After turning off the TV and unplugging her earbuds, Erin rolled over and tried to go to sleep.

"Wake up sleepyhead!" Torry yelled the next morning.

"Ok, ok, I'm up," Erin groaned. The girls got ready for the day, Torry dressing up extra fancy since a certain someone was on the program. They headed down for breakfast, where Frances said she'd meet up with them. She didn't show up though and the girls headed back to their room.

"I wonder why Frances didn't come down for breakfast," Torry mused, walking out of the elevator on their floor. Erin shrugged and was about to say something when there was a yell from down the hallway.

"Help! Help! Police! Someone!" A housekeeper cried out.

"What's wrong, miss?" Erin asked, rushing up to her in front of one of the rooms

"Sh-sh-she's dead!" The woman exclaimed. Torry squeezed past her, not noticing which room it was, and looked inside.

"It's Frances!" Torry called out to Erin.

"Oh no!" Erin replied. "I'll be right there!" Erin turned to the housekeeper and handed her a tissue from a box on the cleaning cart. "Why don't you wait in our room? I'll call the police and then they can take a statement from you once they get here." The lady nodded and Erin took her to their room to sit down. From there she called the police.

Meanwhile, Torry began investigating the scene of the crime. "Hm, sniper," Torry mumbled to herself, noticing the window. She walked around the body, examining it and taking mental notes. Suddenly there was a knock on the room door.

"Police!" Torry opened the door at once. "Inspector Lestrade," The man introduced himself. "Are you the one that called?"

"No, that would be my friend, Erin. She's in our room next door with the housekeeper who found the body."

"Are you here for the convention?" Lestrade asked. 'Last thing I need is some amateur messing things up,' He thought to himself.

"Yes."

'Dang it!' He mentally shouted. "Alright, have you moved or touched anything since you entered the room?"

"Really, Inspector, I wouldn't dare! This is a crime scene after all!"

"Ok, just checking," He defended.

"36, married, no children, lives in Manchester, originally from London. That much she told us last night. We had dinner together. She must have died sometime in the middle of the night. I'd say around 2am. Based off the stage of rigor mortis." Lestrade stared at her, surprised. He'd only ever seen one other person rattle off so many facts so quickly. "She was killed by a sniper through the window. I also noticed that-"

"Wait, sniper?"

"Yes. I believe I just said that."

"What's her name?"

"Frances Grant, she's an-"

"Inspector," Lestrade said sadly. "I went to the Academy with her." He shook his head. "Anderson, get me those two other files. Let's see if this one has a connection."

"I'm sure it does, Graham. You probably just haven't looked well enough," Sherlock drawled from the doorway.

"Did I invite you here, Sherlock?" Lestrade yelled.

"Not specifically," He replied coolly, waltzing into the room. "But I heard there was a murder," He said, eyes lighting up. "And I simply had to come!" He grinned.

"Sherlock!" A shorter man yelled from the hallway. "Where did you get off to?"

"In here John!" Torry was just about to say something, finally past the initial surprise that her favorite Detective was standing in front of her, when Erin yelled from the next room.

"Torry! Get over here!" She yelled. Torry, John, and Greg rushed over. "She's gone into shock, can you help me get her on the bed instead of this chair?"

"I can help you, miss. I'm a Doctor," John said.

"Please do, Dr. Watson," She replied. Turning to the others, she asked: "Are you with the Yard?" Lestrade nodded. "She was the one who discovered her body. You'll want a statement later, obviously."

"Ah yes, thank you, Miss-"

"Erin Blair. And that's Torry Star. We're America's only consulting detectives," Erin said with a wink. John's eyebrows shot up immediately. "Yes, Doctor," She continued. "I've read your blog."

"Speaking of Sherlock," Lestrade spoke up. "I had better get back and make sure he hasn't started world war 3 with Anderson."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to come back with you. There was something I noticed," Torry said. Lestrade nodded and the two of them went to the other room. Torry walks in first and, while Sherlock and Anderson are bickering, paces the room. 'Now, I need to check what's shining behind that chair,' She thought. Attempting to go to the corner to check, Torry finds Sherlock is blocking her path. "If you're not going to help investigate the murder, then get out of my way so I can." Torry states. She then pushes past him to examine what she finds to be a bullet casing. Greg had to bite back a laugh at Sherlock's face.

'I've never seen the man look so offended!' Greg thought. 'This will be interesting.' Just then, the hotel phone rang. "Hello, Inspector Lestrade," He said, picking up the phone.

"Inspector, we just had a package dropped off for Miss Grant's room. The boy asked it be delivered right away to Sergeant Donovan."

"Alright, bring it up." Once the package was brought up, Anderson and Donovan opened it carefully while Sherlock and Torry argued over what type of sniper's rifle shoots those bullets.

"It's another handkerchief!" Anderson exclaimed.

"Another?" Torry and Sherlock asked in surprise. Greg explained to them what had happened with the last two murders.

"There's a note with this one," Donovan said shakily. "Congratulations. You're next."

"Let me see that," Torry said, grabbing the handkerchief. "The sniper is a woman. Military or police training with that level of skill. I'd say about 37 with that handwriting. First name is Ruby. This handkerchief is Ruby red and has her monogram."

"Ruby Jones!" Greg exclaimed. "She went to the Academy with me. She failed though. She didn't like working with others. She was too competitive, always trying to prove herself. She had a high level shooting badge and I think she trained on that rifle you mentioned before. I guess she was taking her revenge."

"I'll put out a warrant," Anderson said.

"Thanks," Donovan said to Torry. "I don't know what to say."

"Really?" Sherlock scoffed. "You're thanking her! She did the same thing I do! Well, not as perfectly but still!"

"She's different, Holmes," Donovan spat. "You wouldn't understand, freak."

"And with that I wish we had solved the case a little later," Torry mumbled. Donovan didn't hear her, but Sherlock did. Though he couldn't hold back a slight smile at that, he still felt a bit put off at Torry stealing his spotlight.

Meanwhile, once the others left the room, John looked at Erin with a smirk. "What?" She chuckled.

"America's only consulting detectives?" He teased.

"I couldn't help it," She replied. "We are fairly well known back in the colonies," She said with a posh British accent, making John smile. "We got invited to speak at the convention yesterday."

"Oh! Of course! You were the guest speakers! I actually wanted to come and see you but Sherlock got stuck on a case. It was really only a 3 but I couldn't get away."

"Ah," Erin sounded in agreement. "Yeah, that's happened to us too. Torry and I work together on every case. If one's there, so is the other."

"So which of you is Sherlock then?" John teased. "If I may do a little deduction of my own, you said you read the blog, you're obviously both fans, so it would only make sense that you've tried to compare yourselves."

"Well done, my dear Watson," Erin grinned. "Yes, we've done that. But we don't line up with either of you exactly. I guess it depends on the case. Some Torry picks up on right away, some I pick up on, and some we figure out together 50/50. And we've had some pretty crazy cases too! Nothing as interesting as yours I suppose though."

"Sounds like you make a good team. I, erm, wouldn't mind discussing some of those interesting cases with you," He said casually. "Perhaps the four of us could go out to dinner this evening?"

"That would be lovely!" Erin said. Just as she finished speaking, they heard yelling from Sherlock and Torry in the next room. They rush over to see what the commotion was. Sherlock and Torry were standing toe to toe right next to the body. Lestrade, Anderson and Donovan were just watching in surprise.

"What makes you think you can just waltz in here and take over my crime scene?" Torry yelled, cheeks bright red.

"Yours?" Sherlock scoffed. "London is mine! You're just some American knock off!"

"Knock off! Well then tell me, why didn't you notice the bullet casing? Hm?"

"I hadn't looked there yet! I was just about to!"

"Week excuse from a man who notices everything!" Torry smirked. "Tell me, what's your excuse now?"

"Excuse for what?" He hissed.

"Dilated pupils, elevated heart rate, rapid breathing, shall I list more?"

"I could ask the same for you," He replied. Torry blushed even brighter but maintained eye contact. Suddenly, after a moment of quiet, Sherlock leaned forward and kissed her quickly. "I like you," He whispered. "Dinner tonight?"

"Ok," Torry squeaked, abit dazed. Sherlock spun around, coat swishing behind him.

"John, let's go, we have to get ready," Sherlock stated. John shook his head and Erin chuckled.

"I guess they're just more blunt than we are," Erin joked.

"It would seem so," John replied, blushing slightly himself. "See you tonight then. We'll pick you up here."

"Ok, John," Erin said. "Well, well, well," She then said, turning to Torry. "Solve the case yet?"

"And that's how Torry and I met," Sherlock stated. He smiled at his fiance who was sitting next to him.

"You forgot to mention how nervous you were that night getting ready," John adds, laughing. Erin and Torry chuckled lightly but Sherlock's ears tinted red. The older couple sitting across them by the fireplace smiled. Sherlock had brought John, Torry and Erin to his parents house to introduce the girls and make the big announcement.

"Well, we couldn't be happier for our son," Mummy said. "Or for you John. You're family too you know," She winked.

"So when's the happy day?" Sherlock's Dad asked. Torry and Erin were just about to reply but they were interrupted.

"Oh please!" Mycroft groaned. "Weddings are simply atrocious emotional events that I have no use for." Sherlock's face fell slightly.

"So I suppose our asking you to officiate would be out of the question?" Sherlock asked

"On the other hand," Mycroft said suddenly, a smile hinting at the corners of his mouth. "Perhaps I can make an exception just this once."

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@ladylulu143

[aiden-png]

I have no one to vent to about health junk so I’m just gonna scream under the cut

‘hell yeah I’m gonna get two coffees today and get all my work done and it’s gonna be great bc I stayed up til 2am last night due to my job and have class until 9:30pm or later tonight so I gotta stay energized’ *drinks half of second coffee, which admittedly has 2 shots of espresso or more in it* heart: haha, so you choose death then?

I hate it I hate alskddfskjl I know I already wrote a vent fic about AFib but it didn’t work bc it just keeps happening and getting worse. it feels like I’m suffocating like I just can’t breathe bc something’s not right but I literally can’t do anything about it. my chest will just get tighter and tighter until my heart finally starts skipping beats or stopping and it makes me feel so faint. but I’m just sitting doing nothing whenever it happens, I’m not even. walking. standing. I’m just. and it’s always been like that!! I don’t understand and I hate it, I hate that doctors don’t believe me and I can’t afford an EKG or heart monitor. AFib runs in my family, so do other heart problems. my uncle died in his 40s of a sudden AFib attack. this was in January 2020. I panic that I’m going to die too. but I can’t afford the tests, I probably can’t even afford medication. idk what I’m going to do. it’s hard enough to get to the drs appointments I already have for T and post-op stuff. I can’t afford another surgery and I know I need 2 but I’m trying to ignore that until I can’t walk anymore, so I’ve got a few more months hopefully.

people keep nagging me about my eating problems too. I can’t. idk if that’s why my heart is fucking up rn. I know I’m underweight but I can’t do anything about it. I ate lunch yesterday and got annoyed w myself for wasting an hour to eat, and I didn’t even eat a meal I just got fries and hung out w a friend. she told me I have an eating disorder and I can’t accept that bc I don’t have time for more health problems, I really don’t. I’m eating enough that I don’t feel faint, that I have energy, that my thoughts are running as fast as they need to be. none of my clothes fit anymore. I’m eating high calorie foods every chance I get to try to gain back what I lost a few weeks ago but gaining weight has always been hard for me. I didn’t really eat for 5 days and I figured it would be fine bc my body would go into starvation mode like always and I’d gain weight when I stopped feeling sick, but I was wrong. I don’t want to be underweight or thin or anything, I like being soft. I liked my curves even, though T got rid of those a while ago. I’m trying not to look at myself in the mirror anymore bc I can see my ribs and my hips, and my prof keeps showing us images of ppl w anorexia so we can see how skin covers bone for figure drawing. I don’t like seeing myself that way.

maybe if I have a heart attack or I faint and get hospitalized I can finally catch a break. I’ll be stressing to no end while I’m forced into bedrest, but at least I’ll have a reason to take a break. I’ll be marked absent for all my classes and my GPA will tank bc they don’t give a shit about students here but at least I’ll have the excuse I need to be selfish for a while. I hate that venting isn’t helping right now, but ofc it won’t help when my back hurts and I can’t tell if it’s from stress or my heart. I just have a feeling that if I wear a heart monitor and do the tests they’ll come back negative like the time I got an EEG for my seizures. I will have seizures for the foreseeable future now, bc there is no easy way to fix stress-related health problems other than lessening stress levels.

which I can’t do.

and if they tell me hey, you don’t have heart problems and the only reason you think you do is bc you’re stressed and it’s manifesting physically again.. but here’s a massive bill anyway, fuck you... I can’t handle that. I can’t afford it. maybe I can convince my mom to take me for an EKG when I go on break for the winter. she won’t pay but at least I’ll have free time to get the tests done. I can’t even ask a relative what their heart condition feels like, bc they’ve all died at this point. I’ve always thought I’d die young, but from liver failure or something, not a heart attack.

I can’t afford this. I need to be healthy and fine. I have too much going on in my life to worry about my health.

[fashournalist]

Can't believe it's been five years since we went to NAIA at exactly midnight (we came via shuttle from Resorts World) to try and ask for fully-funded tickets to New York so I could participate at HPAIR Harvard Conference's Humanitarian Affairs panel as a Top Ambassador—and they have to give me the tickets within 10 days. That wasn't even planned. I just needed to leave Laguna to destress and then meet Momi in Manila. Then we thought, why not take action to get flights now? So that very same night, we rode to the airport using the free transportation from Newport. The ticketing office was closed (haha, I thought it was 24 hours since it's NAIA, but anyway, they were up at 2AM, or 2:30, I forgot now) When they were open, they were shocked that I wasn't there to buy tickets. I was there to ask them for free ones! They said they never heard anything like that before, but they referred us to go to PAL Foundation anyway, in case I still want to push it. So we had a "sleepover" at one of NAIA's benches (I really couldn't sleep, thanks to the sound of airplanes haha), and went to their main office during the day. I emailed first when we found a computer shop. It was awkward because there was no time to schedule...I mentioned my situation, and then I said I'm paying a visit to your office today, if your guards will allow me to. We went there...and after a few calls between the receptionist and the main office, they let us in. That in itself, was a miracle. To be there without an appointment.

I will never forget the time I met Mrs. Candie and Ms. Pinky, they were really kind.

I realised there was so much that had to be done if I were to pursue this. It was actually impossible because they confirmed what the staff at the ticketing office said: no one has been funded for a conference before. They've funded athletes, not delegates. Thankfully, they still interviewed me and I tried sharing my story, and that I'm one of the top three CAs of HPAIR. And they said they would try what they can. I just had to accomplish paperwork like exemption from ITR, etc, then they will present it to President Jaime Bautista. It was a lot to accomplish within a few days. Wew. I know I've heard from others that what I would be trying sounds ridiculous—again, it's never happened before.

But to me, just because it hasn't happened before, doesn't mean it's not possible. I guess that's what they call audacious faith. And I thank God for giving me the kind of trust that asks for big leaps of faith. I remember hearing Himala and just looked at the sky, and at that very moment, I saw an airplane. I smiled a lot and surrendered this endeavour to God. That was a special moment. I felt like that airplane flying right at the same time I heard Himala in front of Mang Inasal Taft reminded me that God's got me, and in 10 days I'll be sitting again somewhere thousands of feet up in the air. So there, my crazy attempt of asking for fully-funded flights.

Spoiler alert: I got it!!! And I got it 11 hours before my flight. Everything was so sudden, so unexpected. It was like shooting for the moon. I got it during President Jaime Bautista's birthday huhue. Thank you po President Bautista!!

I remember on February 10, in the wee hours of the morning, I just came from LB square with my UPMUN fam. We spent February 9 at the Febfair. I thought, I'm making the most of this fair today, because hey, I might be going to Harvard in two days. There was no flight yet. And the conference starts in three days. On the other side of the planet. But there was still hope in me. I thought, okay, this February 10, I'll be going to San Miguel Corporation and ask them to sponsor me. But then, before I slept,

I heard In My Heart, I Know My Savior Lives.

I got chills upon hearing that, and I cried. I was reminded, again, that God's got me. No need to go to San Miguel tomorrow. God has told me to get the rest I need, because hey, I have a flight in two days. I haven't heard from them yet, but still, I'm flying. Claim it!!!

True enough, I woke up to two missed calls from an unknown number. And a text, from Mrs. Candie!! She said that through God's grace (yes, she really mentioned that waaa I feel so kilig) the President has approved my request!! I couldn't believe it. She later called me again and she said she almost cried when the request had been approved. So there I was, crying and thanking God.

On some days the message isn't clear yet, on other days though, His voice is clearer than ever. In my heart, I know my Savior lives. And it's that Savior who told me to stop making efforts to get funded already, because it's coming. It's about time I trust Him to do the work. As the line goes, "when you do what you can, God will do what you can't."

Sometimes, all that God wants us to do is to trust and wait. And it can be uncomfortable, because we feel like we need to do something to make things happen. But when God asks us to sit still and let Him move, it's a great opportunity to deepen our faith in Him.

Thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, for authoring this story. Your works and miracles never fail to amaze me. You deserve all the glory <3

PS. After that Harvard Conference, I'm grateful to hear that other HPAIR delegates in the succeeding conferences received flight discounts, too! Yay!! Thank you PAL Foundation!! Continue supporting our passionate learners and dreamers. :)

[official-michael-afton]

We met in a Sonic parking lot

I wanted to write out something of how Mikey and @animdude-official first met... I accidentally made it more sad then I meant to but the ending is just as chaotic and gay as their relationship so AYY

Content warnings: PTSD and traumatic flashbacks, dissociation, unintentional self harm(staying in cold for too long). Read at your own risk!

It was cold. Colder than it normally was for 2 in the morning, at least. Mike sighed, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie as if that’d offer him any more heat. When had he even gone outside? Why? He was running from something- he never goes out at 2am unless something’s causing him distress, but he can’t even remember what it was this time. Same trauma, probably? … He should probably go to therapy. Guess it didn’t matter, though. The zombie looked around, trying to figure out where he wandered off to in his spell of dissociation. Downtown Hurricane, in the parking lot of… a Sonic. Huh. Well that’s… new.

“What am I even doing…” He murmured to himself as he sat down on the concrete divider between asphalt and grass, observing how each breath he took let out a small puff of condensation. He didn’t even realize how cold he was until he looked down at his hands, observing how violently they shivered. For some reason, this made him get… mad? He tried to force his muscles to relax, but he kept shivering. Ugh, stupid body! Can it EVER do anything right?! … Can he ever do anything right?!

“Dammit…” Michael hissed at his eyes warmed up- heated by tears that started to roll down his cheeks. Why was he crying?! He wasn’t even sad, if anything he was angry! The more he got furious at himself, the more tears welled up and fell. His chest heaved as he fell into near hyperventilation, letting out one small yell of frustration before throwing his head down and holding it with his hands.

Small gasps of air before sobs echoed around him, the surrounding area might as well have faded to black as he fell out of touch with reality once again. No, no, not here, he can’t break here, not somewhere he can be vulnerable to robbery or worse…

He pulled his hands away from his head enough to look down at his hands. His shivering hands. His hands. That’s how he can ground himself, by observing what’s going on around him… what’s the exercise? 5 4 3 2 1?

5 things he can see.

His hands- His shivering hands. There’s one… the hoodie he wears all the time and really needs to wash… the old sneakers he wore- worn and scuffed but still good… the asphalt of the parking lot… the body before him-

No- NO! He’s NOT going back there! He refuses. He refuses. He won’t remember that night. He’s not there now, he’s not. He’s in a dumb parking lot. He won’t remember. Not here, not now.

4 things he can hear.

His breathing- uneven, but he’s still breathing. Unlike her- NO, NO! Next one! He can hear the faint plips as his tears fell onto the ground below him… the soft hum or an airplane far over him… the cars that drove in the parking lot, not knowing they were in the alley behind the diner-

“STOP!!!” He yelled to himself, pushing those memories back to the back of his mind, He’s NOT there, he’s NOT that child that found the body of his best friend, he’s in a GODDAMN SONIC PARKING LOT.

3 things he can feel.

The curls in his hair as he tugged at his locks again- The rain that soaked them to the bone- How cold her skin was.

“No… Please…” No matter where he tried to look, his mind was still in that alleyway. He wasn’t this adult anymore; he was a child again. He wasn’t himself. He was… staring at Charlie. They were young- he couldn’t remember how old. It was too late to save her. She was still wearing that green bracelet… the security puppet wrapped around her, soaked to the point of being broken.

2 things he can smell.

Metal. Metal. He knew what it really was, but it smelt JUST LIKE METAL.

1 thing he can taste.

METAL METAL M̴E̴T͜AL M̶E̸͢T͠A͜L̷ M̴̴̡E̶͠͠͏͟T̨͟͡͡Ą̧́͞L̶̷̕҉̶

“Um- a-are you okay?”

… That wasn’t her voice… it wasn’t his either… what?

Mike looked up, eyes wide in shock at the presence suddenly beside him. There was some adult looking down at him, looking… almost scared? Oh, they must see the body…

… Wait. No… there wasn’t some random adult that found them. No, no, that’s- that’s because he’s not… he’s not back there. He’s in the stupid Sonic parking lot… he’s not a child anymore, he grew up…

Wait. Shit. He was asked a question.

“Oh- u-um-” Mike stammered, wiping the tears from his eyes as he tried to keep his spirit in his body. Memories threatened to flood back and bring him to those awful places again, but he forced a smile while he fought. Fought to stay grounded and not make this stranger worry. “Haha, s-sorry, was I making a scene? I’m a dramatic lil dork~”

The stranger took a step back, eyes wide. Wait, what? No, Mike put on the cute act to calm them, not scare them more. Why did they look scared? What did he do wrong? Fuck, no, he can’t let his shell crack, this never happens he’s supposed to pass as FINE why can’t he JUST BE FINE-

“Do… um… do-do you want to get some milkshakes?” They pointed to the Sonic, offering a wary smile.

… What. They’re… being nice… but why? Didn’t Michael scare them? Aren’t they afraid- or at least revolted by how- how he was in the middle of a breakdown?

… and yet, them being here kept him HERE and not that alley…

“A-Are you sure? I mean- you- w-we don’t- um… know each other?”

“Well, um…” They scratched the back of their head, fumbling just as much as Mike to think of the right words. “You just… s-seemed to be uh- a little upset by yourself, I-I just thought… you know.”

They were… kind. And not the sinister type of kind that someone with bad intentions would be. It was like trying to make friends on the first day of school, in a way. They were both shy “… I don’t have any cash on me…”

“I have a- a few dollars, if you really want something?” They smiled, and Mike’s heart skipped a beat. Woah. That was… weird. All it took was smile for this person to go from a random dude to something almost like a magnet, drawing Mike in.

He probably shouldn’t say yes, but… “Well, i-if you’re okay with paying.”

An order placed. Vanilla with caramel for them. Extra dark chocolate for Mike. Payment, delivery, and now they both sat on that concrete divider. Just… sitting. Drinking. It was cold outside, too cold for angels to fly, too cold for milkshakes… but how could Mike turn down a milkshake? It was… oddly comforting.

“Y-You know, most people don’t… don’t like the cold, b-but its… nice, at this hour.” The stranger spoke again, trying to start a conversation.

Mike felt numb from the cold, but… it was far better than the breakdown he was having earlier. He decided to keep the conversation going. “It’s quiet… helps you think, right?”

“Yeah! You- You get it!” They smiled, seeming genuinely happy to connect with him. “Like- how the stars get clear and you can see them- a-a-and how it’s almost- like another world!”

“Mhm…” Mike took another sip of his shake before fiddling with the straw. “I’m… I’m Michael, by the way.”

They smiled, that same smile that made his heart skip a beat again. “Michael… I’m Anim- well, Scott… Well- I- uh-”

“You use two names, I guess?” Mike looked up at the other.

“We-Well, most call me Anim… it’s just- you know- my family calls me Scott, h-haha…”

… There was something weird about how he said that. Not a nickname thing, that was normal. But… there was something in the tone. The way he tried to laugh it off… it was like how Mike always tried to laugh off his trauma. … Of course, of course he’s hiding something hurting him. No mentally sane man would be in a Sonic parking lot at 2 in the morning, buying milkshakes for some stranger… was this Anim like Michael? … Maybe that’s something he can bring up later.

“… My brother’s name is Scott.” Mike decided to just keep the small talk going, not wanting to lose the friend he just made by prying too much. “He goes by “Red” though, not “Anim”, so that’s funny how you both have nicknames.”

“Oh, y-you have a brother? That’s neat!” Anim seemed to relax, probably grateful that Mike didn’t pry into the name business. “I um- don’t have a uh- any siblings, b-but! I have 3 kids, so there- there’s that!”

“Oh, you’re a dad? That’s awesome! I always wanted kids…” Mike trailed off, smiling at the fantasy of starting his own family one day…

“Well, if you want, um, i-if you don’t want to- to go home tonight, I can let you st-stay over at our house?” Anim asked gently, as if hesitant… probably wondering if it’s appropriate to ask something to someone who’s practically a stranger.

“… Pff, wow, you’re uh… awfully trusting of bringing a stranger to your family… how do you know I’m not some- some serial killer or something?”

He shrugged “You… don’t seem like that type, o-or something. I don’t know. I don’t just… want to leave you here when-” as he spoke, he moved a hand to gently pat Mike on the shoulder, but almost immediately pulled it away “O-Oh my gosh, you’re freezing-!” Before Mike could argue, Anim had already grabbed his free hand, holding it tightly as Mike saw the way his pupils visibly shrunk in shock “You- You’re like ice! How long were you out here-?!”

“I… don’t know…” Mike admitted shamefully, glancing off to the side. He stopped feeling cold forever ago, he just felt numb now. But, with the way his hand was held, he felt nothing but warmth…

“Oh no, o-oh no, I shouldn’t have kept y-you out here- c-c’mon, I need to get you somewhere warm, m-my house isn’t far from here, you can stay and warm up!”

Michael almost said no. How could accept such a kind offer from someone he didn’t know? How could he trust this stranger who may not have good intentions? How could he…

Yet, the warmth he felt when the other held his hand… this was a warmth he was determined to protect with his life.

“Okay, if it’s alright, then- aH-” He yelped when Anim grabbed him rather suddenly, literally sweeping him off his feet and carrying him, making sure his jacket was wrapped around them both before hurriedly carrying him back to his home. There was certainly an urgency in his step- was he worried Mike would freeze to death? How strange… to have so much trust in each other when they just met, it shouldn’t be how it works. He should feel cold- afraid- distant…

And yet, all he felt was warmth.

[milatherese]

Update No. 5 (*cue Mambo No. 5*) – 90 Days, School, Discernment (just a lil bit)

Note #1: This update is long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Note #2: If you don’t know Mambo No. 5, you need to listen to it (even though the lyrics may be morally wrong, it is quite catchy).

“How was the 90 day journey of a tiny bit of asceticism?” you ask. (nobody cares but I’m pretending you do haha)

That’s a question I still ask myself several days later. 90 days is a lot to process. Therefore, I have included my short answer to this question here: – It was a bit hard in the beginning but got easier as the days went by – I especially enjoyed the no social media / limited communication – I hated cold showers, actually gave it up by the end of the first month or so because it did more harm than good (imo)

The beginning was a little rough, but about as good as sacrifice gets. (you can read my thoughts on that here, here, and here) About a month in, I couldn’t cope, at least physically. I ended up just doing what I felt I was strong enough to do.

January was a little rough. Ever since school started, I had headaches every day (including non-school days). (If you’re wondering why I never shared this with you and why I hid my pain, it was because I didn’t want you to worry.)

At first the headaches were tolerable. I could get through a 12-hour day with minimal pain. They got increasingly worse. I began taking Tylenol according to the recommended dosage (1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours). I didn’t take Tylenol every other day (I try to avoid medicine, if possible) but I eventually “graduated” to taking the extra strength Tylenol, also according to the recommended dosage. Eventually, the headaches began to impact my studying. I had limited time to study (I had to time my studying during the lesser painful waves of my headaches). I was so worried for one class that I spent all my time studying for that one class during lecture of another difficult class (I figured I could bring up my grade in the second class later). Despite my high of level of unpreparedness, I was looking forward to taking the exams for both classes. I thought my headaches were the result of stressing over those two classes. Unfortunately, taking the exams for those classes didn’t end the headaches. In fact, they may have increased the pain.

My headaches soon became unbearable. I couldn’t hide the pain any longer. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t eat out of fear that I would only make the pain worse. I was in tears from the pain. Massaging my head and using an ice pack didn’t reduce the pain. I wanted to rip my head off to get rid of the pain once and for all.

At this time, I decided it was time to begin thinking about seeing the doctor about this. (Yes, I should have already gone to the doctor but my pain isn’t really a concern to me.) I decided that I would go to the doctor if the headaches persist for another week.

The pain was at its absolute worst one Saturday. I had to call in sick for work (we had an event – which I was really looking forward to, btw). I spent the day crying from the pain (at this point, my body wasn’t really responding to Tylenol). Finally, the physical pain began to affect my mental health. I was trying to figure out the root cause of the pain. I began questioning all my decisions – transferring high schools, transferring universities, not applying to a certain community, leaving relationships, etc. I was wondering if this was some sort of a punishment for making the “wrong” decision (which I later learned is no such thing, more on this another day). I felt so lost and alone. I was wondering if this was a taste of what Mother St. Teresa described as a “long dark night.” (I referenced this before in my last update but I just can’t get her long dark night out of my head.) I eventually cried myself to sleep and slept the rest of the day until 2am the next day.

When I woke, I noticed the pain had disappeared and, with it, the emotional rollercoaster I was going through earlier. I was able to get some rest from the physical and emotional pain and my mind was finally functioning as it normally would – quiet and able to think logically. It was clear that my pain was not for torment but for me to focus on something more important than the pain itself. I decided to pray the Rosary for it had been several weeks since I had been able to pray the Rosary without distractions (I would either fall asleep or be distracted by the headache or my studies). I prayed God would help me discern what He wanted me to tend to. I felt that I should prayerfully consider my career path now that I was away from outside influences.

I began reflecting on my semester thus far. There was one day that my mom visited campus and overheard some girls complimenting and encouraging each other. She told me, “I want you to be in whatever major they’re in. They seem happy. You don’t.” At the time, I was too stubborn to see that my happiness was just a mask I put on to “be strong.” I remembered writing pre-labs and post-labs but barely understanding the material, only understanding the grammar necessary to produce acceptable scholarly work. I recalled being so stressed that I was rude to the whole world (except for work) to the point that my mom exclaimed, “Who are you? You’re not human anymore!”  She was right – I wasn’t myself.  That woke me up. I thought, “What good is my major if it only brings out the worst in me?” In prayer, felt called to pursue another career instead of MD/DO. I still don’t know what career exactly, but I’m trusting that my time studying and preparing for MD/DO will help me in my calling.

That Sunday, I informed my parents and one trusted relative of my decision to change majors and they were overjoyed. (My uncle seemed to have already known in the beginning that I would leave the MD/DO path, but wanted me to come to that decision myself.)

So, I changed majors back to Allied Health, B.S.

I met with my academic advisor (not the one who screwed me over, for any of those who know the story) and we came up with a school plan. Estimated graduation date was Fall 2021.

I dealt with this change as best I could and things were on the up and up…until it wasn’t.

Early February, I learned that a close priest friend had passed away, just 3 days shy of his birthday. I had been looking forward to his birthday (not that I would be with celebrating with him, just happy he would be celebrating another year) so hearing the news was devastating. He was like an uncle to me. To quote what I said at a memorial, he was “a great friend, a big brother, a father figure, a very holy man, a man for others.” (There’s so much I can say on him but I’ll leave that for another post) The first day, I seemed okay. Minimal feelings of sadness. It hadn’t hit me yet. It hit me the very next day. And it hit hard and long. I was crying everywhere I went whenever I was away from family and friends. Some days were harder than others (my supervisor sent me home early to give me time to grieve). I was going through so many emotions. I was frustrated that I was taking so long to grieve (I later learned that grief has no time limit) and annoyed that I did not feel comfortable talking to my family or friends about it. I had faced loss before (when Bro. Morgan passed away), but never anything as devastating as this. I did not know how to cope with grief. I struggled to stay focused during class (actually broke down in tears at least during one class each day) and to finish my work (skipped out on a staff meeting due to waterworks). I cancelled a couple meetings and called in sick to group therapy twice. I distanced myself from the world and those who love[d] me. Unfortunately, all this affected my studies once again. Despite my lighter load, I could not concentrate. I did not think of sharing all this with my professors as I felt like they wouldn’t understand (or maybe I was just being stubborn again?)

It came time for RECongress and I held it together (somewhat…more on that on another post). It was that Friday that I was able to study without getting distracted by grief. I had an exam the following Monday. But one day of studying 3+ weeks of material was not enough to pass the exam. So there went that.

February went by with each day bleeding into the next. Each day was a blur until one blessed night.

My brother had arrived home late from school one day and as he was pulling into our driveway (why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways) a beautiful dog approached him. I won’t go into details but the dog is now ours and has been the biggest blessing this semester, especially in helping our family cope with grief. We believe (as do others) that Father Suarez sent her to us.

Come March and April, things were finally on the up and up again. I was studying every day and keeping up with work. But then quarantine hit and things went downhill yet again. I did become more active on this blog since March 16th but inside I was deteriorating. However, it wasn’t as detrimental as January and February. Let’s just say that I learned the house is not conducive to studying, I may need a new prescription for glasses, and we need to find better internet (or move to a place with better cell signal). I failed a final due to failed internet connection (thanks be to God I got another shot at it). I took my two other finals in the car in the parking lot in front of Starbucks.

Quarantine has been the best and the worst for me. I realized that spiritually, I was thirsty. Thirsty for God. I live-streamed Mass and adoration daily and at odd hours, even doing homework and studying “with God.” The more things I had to do, the more I felt the need to “hang” with God (which, in retrospect, may have been a bad decision because I ended up procrastinating and losing a lot of sleep). I learned to value receiving the sacraments in-person now. I’m more aware of when I sin or am near sin. It has also reignited the flame of faith. I’ve been doing a lot more spiritual reading, especially now that APU semester is over (still have one class at a JC).

Despite this, discernment got a bit murky. I began questioning my vocation and doing a lot more “reality checks” (and a lot more second-guessing). Frankly, I don’t think I would survive living in a community of all women since all my close friends are men. (Or is that an excuse I am making for myself?) I don’t think I would make a great mother either so perhaps I’m meant to be single? (Or am I just a harsh critic of myself and I would actually be a great mother?) I had not really spoken to my spiritual director in months (transportation and schedule issues, both on my part).

A priest I met at RECongress learned I was discerning religious life (if you didn’t know this, I hope this isn’t a surprise) and asked me to email him as soon as possible in case I need guidance. I didn’t email him until April 1st so that may have contributed to my overthinking. He replied a couple weeks later (and I replied a couple days after that and am still awaiting a response). I asked God for “another sign, for some clarity” and He gave me another. However, everything still looks murky to me. I feel both consolation and desolation at the same time. I might be facing another identity crisis like last semester. Aye.

Ok this is way longer than I had planned so I’m just gonna stop right here.

If you read this far, thank you for reading. If you relate to anything I shared, I hope you know that you’re not alone and that if you ever need anything (even if it’s just a listening ear), I’ll do my best to help. Just ask. (And if you need something but I haven’t replied in a long time, just reach out again. I forget to reply to messages quite often.)