#me living up to my url

[certifiedalbedoenthusiast]

I have crafted 2000 Woodland Dreams.

Around the time of Albedo's first rerun in 2021, I began a quest in Genshin: to craft the maximum possible quantity of his special dish, the Woodland Dream. Today, I finally hit 2000.

This has been around 2.5 years of daily fishing, milk and salt purchasing, butter crafting, and small lamp grass collecting. Never mind artifact grinding, this is the grind I had on my mind.

I was inspired by Youtuber Memorii, who crafted 1000 of Noelle's special dish for her birthday back in 2021. At first I thought I would just craft a hundred Woodland Dreams, which I figured was an impressive but manageable number. But, as I hit 100, I just wasn't satisfied. Why stop at 100 when the item limit is 2000? And so here we are today, 2.5 years later, with a full inventory of Woodland Dreams.

Fun stats, musing about optimised Woodland Dream production, and my attempt at cooking Woodland Dream in real life below the cut:

The Sunshine Sprat recipe uses 3 butter, 3 fish, 1 salt and 1 small lamp grass. Like any 3-star special dish, you have a 15% chance of crafting a Woodland Dream whenever you cook a Sunshine Sprat with Albedo. I was cooking Sunshine Sprats at a rate of around 100 per week, and while I didn't keep any exact records, we can use these facts to make some estimates.

I would have crafted roughly 13k Sunshine Sprats in total, over the course of around 133 weeks. 85% of those (around 11k) would have just turned out as regular Sunshine Sprat. Of course regular Sunshine Sprat has an item limit of 2000 too, which means I would have had to discard (consume) about 9k Sunshine Sprats in the process.

Crafting 13k Sunshine Sprats takes approximately:

40k butter

40k fish

13k salt, and

13k small lamp grass

I exclusively crafted butter from milk, as it was easier and cheaper to buy in bulk than directly buying butter. This means I would have bought around 80k milk, which cost me 7.2 million mora.

Fish can be gathered from the wild as well as purchased from various merchants around Teyvat. In the early days, I was very diligent about collecting fish in the wild, but towards the end I got a bit lazy and started buying fish more. Overall I bought roughly 10k fish, which is around 75 fish per week, and cost me around 2.2 million mora.

(Sidenote: I was using mora gained from expeditions exclusively for this Woodland Dream quest. This gives me a decent estimate of how much I spent on fish, since I can calculate how much mora I received from expeditions over 133 weeks, and my estimates for milk and salt costs are a bit more concrete.)

The other 30k fish were gathered from the wild. With the assistance of Kuki Shinobu and Yelan, who I discovered were very, very good at killing fish efficiently (helpful when you have high ping like me), the fish populations around Yujing Terrace, the western shore of Mingyun Village, and the Dawn Winery shoreline were absolutely decimated. There are many places to gather fish in Teyvat, and I didn't limit myself to these 3 spots, but these I found were the most convenient places.

(Klee, I found, was surprisingly not that good at killing fish. Her bombs are not very easy to aim properly, and the explosion AoE isn't that great.)

Salt cost me around 670k in total. Nothing more really to say about salt.

And finally, small lamp grass. I had an intensive teapot farm going, and grew nearly 2.5k small lamp grass. But the teapot farm could only give me 8 lamp grass every 3 days, so the bulk of lamp grass, the remaining 10.5k, was harvested from the wild. Whispering Woods and Wolvendom are good sources of lamp grass (17 and 19 lamp grasses respectively), and there are 4 west of Dawn Winery, which were also convenient to collect while I was fishing. Nahida was a blessing for easy lamp grass collection.

In total, I spent around 10.1 million mora on this quest. I don't want to try to calculate the actual number of hours I spent gathering fish and small lamp grass because that will make me cry.

This screen makes it totally worth it though.

I did take this quest at a pretty leisurely pace, admittedly, so just for fun, I thought I'd calculate how long it would take to craft 2000 Woodland Dreams at the most optimised pace. I'd say there are two cases, one where you have unlimited access to resources in co-op worlds, and one where you only have access to your world.

For the first case, you can assume unlimited fish and small lamp grass since these can be gathered from as many co-op worlds as necessary. The limiting factor ends up being butter. It takes 5 minutes to craft butter from milk, which means 288 butter can be crafted every day. (This takes 576 milk per day, which is not a problem, as 600 milk can be purchased daily across Teyvat as of version 4.2.) Additionally, 40 butter can be purchased weekly. Thus you can craft 96 Sunshine Sprats every day, plus an additional 13⅓ each week. This comes to about 685 Sunshine Sprats per week, and on average, 102.75 Woodland Dreams per week. Thus, it would take just over 19 weeks to craft 2000 Woodland Dreams at the most optimised pace possible, about 7x faster than it took me.

If you only have access to your own world, the limiting factor becomes small lamp grass. 77 lamp grass can be collected from the wild every 48 hours. Also, every 3 days, 8 lamp grass can be harvested from the teapot, and 5 bought from Flora. Thus, every 6 days, you can collect 257 lamp grass, and thus can craft 257 Sunshine Sprats every 6 days. On average, this gives you 38.55 Woodland Dreams every 6 days. Thus it would take you just over 44 weeks in total to craft 2000 Woodland Dreams at the most optimised pace when you only have access to your own world. This is about 3x faster than it took me.

But I was already getting quite tired of spending the measly few minutes needed every day to catch fish towards the end. I had no interest in doing it "more optimally" - it was a marathon rather than a sprint, to use a cliche.

Anyway to celebrate this historic moment, I cooked some Woodland Dream in real life. I followed the recipe in this video.

The fish used is barramundi fillet (which was the best size and shape out of all the fish at the local supermarket). I had just as much trouble drawing with the sauce as the guy in the video. But tastewise the dish turned out pretty good! The sauce especially was very nice (I slathered a lot more sauce on when I started eating). This is a dish I'd definitely make again, but I don't think I'd bother making it look fancy like this. So basically, I'd make regular old Sunshine Sprat in the future instead, which I suppose is fitting.

I shall now proclaim myself #1 Albedo Fan (culinary division) 🥇🎣

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

[smithsibsceo]

"(flashbacks of baby kai and nya)" "this is for kai!" "no! kai's still in there!" "i would've never admitted it when i was a kid, but- my big brother was always my hero" im so normal about them what if i killed myself right here right now btw

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Y’all are so fire with your 2024 predictions. I’m gonna try not to repeat ones I’ve seen so here’s some filthy ones from me:

- Another furry adjacent photo from dan like the catboy one except this time the tail is a distinctive one that someone finds online and is undeniably one with a plug

- Sponsorship from a sex toys company. Idk if bad dragon do sponsorships but 👀

- Dan and Phil react to The Urge and The Hand. This is a thinly veiled excuse to reiterate that they’re totally fine with us writing about them and making phanart and is actually them asking us to write and draw more filth for them

- Dan in a leather harness and choker. ��For fashion’ (I don’t think they’re anywhere near this kinky but I think Dan likes to imagine he could be!)

- More Phil ass content. Specifically Phil in tight underwear candid from dan bc I think he’s moving past ‘this is mine hands off’ possessive to ‘look at my man’s amazing ass aren’t you jealous’ possessive

- Video of dan sucking something phallic (the ice lolly pics but up a gear. More like the old banana clip)

- Phil in something like the cat maid outfit but better quality/ a better fit. Maybe in a vpmo3 on AP? (A girl can dream)

- Something I can’t even begin to predict to one up the onlyphans nude on april 1st. I’m already scared.

[ruegarding]

imagine you're holding someone you love in your arms and you are begging her to live and she isn't even listening to you bc she's thinking of seeing someone else and she dies saying his name. i would've one-shot a drakon and dragged its corpse around too.

[lobotomizedtord]

totally normal ❤️💙

[trustinisms]

the celebrity manhunt noco bus cuddle was a cover up for the secreter gayer trustin red carpet cuddle. im so sick. hes laying on his lap

[mobius-m-mobius]

anon requested Owen Wilson + kisses 😘

[pillxw-prince]

god i wanna be stuffed soooo bad but i'm too exhausted to do anything about it. if only two hard and aching men would come over, fulfilling my dreams of being fucked to oblivion, sandwiched between them with one in each hole? i'll be the perfect pillow prince and take it so well, making such pretty noises for you that you'll never wanna stop, promise 🥺

[poison-into-positivity]

“oh we’re clowning so hard” “let me get the clown makeup out” “honk honk” brother I will lace up my clown shoes a hundred times before I become a pessimistic defeatist and that’s a promise.

[daz4i]

*bored for 5 minutes* hmm i should kill myself

[bunnihearted]

.

[vampiremotif]

@vampiremotif’s horror gif meme

the format is meant to be similar to the “get to know me” meme. where the the number of gifsets you do for each category is adaptable. feel free to tag #horrorgifmeme and @vampiremotif if you do it

[5] favorite vampires

[3] favorite witches

[2] favorite ghosts

[3] favorite werewolves

[5] favorite monsters

[4] favorite final girls

[2] favorite haunted houses

[3] favorite subgenres

[1] free space (your choice)

[rocicrew]

poly roci crew rights

[macbethisms]

macbeth + he who drowned the world

[originalcontent]

my name is Bill and soon at last it wil be tyme to brayke thy fast, so to the icebox you shall come. This is to say- i ate the plum.