#me the player? i love estinien

[shalpilot]

temporary buddies

[astrxealis]

the character development of so many ffxiv characters mean so much to me :((

[nihilnovisubsole]

phew! finally a weekend where i can set aside enough time to type up The Promised Endwalker Stream-of-Consciousness Post. i finished the base story... a month ago? but work has been busy, and i think tumblr benefits from me being quiet sometimes. anyway, what a ride. when you've been building up to the end of your arc for a decade, you want to hit it like an earthquake, and that's exactly what they did.

i think people love endwalker because it fires on all cylinders. it returns - in both story and vision - to the eorzea we love, and the dev team gets to show off everything they've learned. the dungeons and boss fights are dynamic and imaginative and colorful and bring the game's epic sense of scope to bear. the story callbacks are juicy. the music is orchestral again. we're back home, and we're saving the galaxy. what's better than this?

i love that we go to garlemald. i don't - i mean, you know, i don't like garlemald. i shouldn't have to qualify that. but it's hugely narratively satisfying to see the face of the enemy we've been fighting since the first few hours of ARR. you don't think about them when you're beating them up in castrum centri or ala mhigo. they're star wars bad guys. then you meet them on their own turf. you observe firsthand how they starve and cannibalize their own people to feed their obsession with state power and military strength. the wintry environment makes it seem all the more barren and desperate. my favorite part by far. i wish we'd spent more time there.

actually, on that note:

there is an argument that endwalker should've been two expacs. i've heard similar about stormblood - ala mhigo should've been the whole thing, and doma should've been either patch content or an expac of its own. the prevailing theory is that, after ARR, the devs are afraid of letting arcs run long. i can't speak to that, but i wouldn't have minded, that's for sure!

i won't pretend not to be biased. i've noted in many xiv posts that it hurries through its political plots to get to the magic stuff. i felt more conscious of it in heavensward and especially in stormblood. i made peace with it in endwalker. with dessert this good, who am i to complain? i can do small character drama on my own time. for now, the game wants royce to be a big damn shonen hero, and that can be fun, too.

speaking of characters, urianger and estinien have grown on me. this is the arc where, for me at least, the scions have congealed. they're all good, but with any large cast and custom player character, you tend to form the meatiest bonds with a few specific ones. i think royce appreciates urianger's cooler, more mature head. they're both so formal. he realizes she's someone he can confide in. i think she sees estinien as a gifted, but hotheaded whelp, which i find very funny. patience, child. stop sulking. do your breathing drills.

i love thancred's MGS sequence and in from the cold too. they're stressful, but i love that the team tried, you know what i mean? the fact that you can fight enemies in a pinch makes those duties way more bearable than some other games that experiment with stealth.

in from the cold as a whole, honestly. If You Know, You Know

all right, i can't avoid referencing spoilers anymore, sorry. there's a sense of classical tragedy to the whole elpis sequence. it's like watching macbeth or hamlet. you know how it's going to end, and you know you're powerless to stop it, but if they'd just made that different choice! but we had to leave eden. the warrior of light had to end up where they are to finish what elpis started. i don't do fate/destiny plots, but this? i'll take it.

i also knew what would happen going into ultima thule and still came away from it moved. it's strong writing. that's all there is to it. sure, the visuals are haunting, but the dialogue has to sell a gauntlet of difficult character moments, and it pulls it off. on the design side, there's some interesting intentional friction that forces you to linger in the zone and sit with its sense of despair. that part where you have to search the empty park for signs of life? oof

with the majority of the MSQ under my belt, i started sniffing around for what else there is to do ingame. i tried ninja. did terribly. i tried sage. did terribly too, but at least that gave me access to the healer role quests, which, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). the nier raids are gorgeous. i even did the controversial werlyt quests, and terncliff is so cute. i kind of wish we could have another story there!

what's next? i dunno! right now i'm burning through the hildibrand quests before i continue on with endwalker's patch story. the field operation stuff seems interesting to do after the MSQ, in a "hey, you saved the world, but we have more missions for you" way. i've also contracted Triple Triad Collector Disease, so that'll keep me busy for a long time.

all right. one last thing. Real Gamer Moments: i was in a mount-farming party recently, and i said that i sort of collected mounts, but only used the ishgardian chocobo. it's a roleplay thing - it's the chocobo royce took when she ran away from ishgard. one of the party members said "haurchefant would be proud of you." AUGH

[aotopmha]

In my FF14 journey, I'm now at the first lvl 86 quest.

I stopped just before going back to the Crystal Tower.

The latter half of Thavnair is fantastic in terms of building tension.

In one of my previous posts I talked about how much I liked that the story still manages to have moments of danger despite the characters surviving the most ridiculous circumstances.

At this point, I do not believe in most danger the Scions are in, but because, just like the corrupting force of light, Akasha is a new system with new rules, it makes you doubt, even if it is just for a moment.

And it certainly made me doubt with Matsya and the baby because they're just commonfolk.

Qerasaf and Mehvan are just normal civilians, so I fully believe they could die as easily as they did.

Once again the story also uses the distinction between the massive strength of the Warrior of Light and the normal people of the world to great effect in that sense.

But even then, you can still not be in all places at once.

During the chain transformation cutscene, you could see the Warrior of Light being indecisive between targets and which people to save and later on with Mehvan, they were late to save her.

I really like that detail because stuff like this goes a long way in spelling out your position in the world. It's general enough characterisation where players can put their own spin on it, yet still enough to make the Warrior of Light have somewhat of an identity themselves.

And I think that's the best way to go with mute player characters.

I don't know much about Dungeons and Dragons, but to me it feels like a game master having their own idea of where to go with the story/characters, but leaving a good amount of room to do your own thing within their framework.

And I like that take a bunch.

Now, to loop back to what I was saying about tension, I fully believed Matsya and the baby were done for, so I was okay with either fate, but this is also where Endwalker's theming comes in.

Even if only really minor characters died, there was so much death in this part of the story.

Khalzahl, Nahbdeen, Qerasaf and Mehvan.

To cut to the point, this is a story about mental illness.

And what kind of message would that send if there was only despair?

What kind of message would this send to those suffering in similar ways?

You have to be really careful with messaging here. And I think both Matsya and the baby surviving was almost mandatory in that sense.

This is why certain criticisms of plot points later on in the story also ring wrong to me.

Because eventhough Thavnair's faith says there is more suffering in life than there is good on the surface (which I think some read the scene at the temple as), the true meaning behind their beliefs is to appreciate the good that does exist.

To see your life for what it is, good and bad.

And so the story lets Matsya and the baby survive.

Finally, I really like how Estinien's character arc and Heavensward is used in this section for Vrtra's character development and how Vrtra ends up a positive parallel to Sharlayan's policy of passivity in face of all-consuming doom.

Vrtra steps up when he is proven wrong about his presence being a source of chaos and more conflict. He considers the result of the Dragonsong War and Estinien's journey. And he considers Hraesvelgr's decision to help in the confrontation with Nidhogg.

And ultimately he steps up and decides to take responsibility as a leader of his people.

I've seen people complain about there not being enough love for Y'sayle compared to other beloved characters that died and that as a proof of sexism, but I feel it is just about the same, and the references to her with Licinia and her sister and now with Thavnair are super relevant and effective.

On my part, I think digging deeper made everything in this part so much better. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, but here it definitely did for me.

The HW connections might be my favourite because it's another exanple of making previous story have more relevance, weight and substance, but I adore the message of appreciating the good, however little, within the bad a bunch, too.

You might notice I actually didn't talk much about Bestways Burrow and the section of the Loporrits and that is precisely because the entire section wasn't as substantial to me. I had some good chuckles in there and I like the Urianger focus, but even if it has the same thematic point of overcoming passivity in the face of great danger, it was a bunch less nuanced and without much else going on aside from thay point.

Much of it was magic babble, which needed to happen to make everything come together and downtime to let big reveals set in.

And we've definitely come so far from you just having to do 8 generic fetch quests to go on to another zone with more of the same by at least getting specific characterisation and learning how this huge point of focus (the moon) functions within lore, but the technical stuff isn't as interesting by nature to me.

All of this said, Endwalker still continues to be fantastic. I just went on about how Bestways Burrow wasn't as good as everything else, but it is still contributing towards solving long-standing plot threads and it is put where it is with purpose.

Finishing Thavnair also unlocked the role quests, which I think I actually only have seen in bits and pieces, so those will be fun to do for myself.

And I'm looking forward to what comes next in general, of course.

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

if you click the unrebloggable red catboy haterade readmore it's your own damn fault

i am so tired of people trying to defend g'raha's writing in ew

"they're capable of subtlety" switching between being a manipulative asshole and the writer's most perfect prince who can never do wrong and is the wol's bestest friend 5ever (don't look at shb) and never allowing the player/other characters to say "dude wtf" at the former is not "subtle writing", it's complete lack of awareness that the character is being an asshole

like it was bad enough that the writers forced you to be buddy-buddy with him in shb with only a token option of expressing mild distaste , doing that and also making it very clear that he's still a manipulative shithead (because if he was meant to trying to put on a brave face they would have had a "dude wtf" line where he would have apologized in the post-credits, not acted like the promise made under duress was still valid) is just bad fucking writing given that on the other side of the corridor is zenos, who they constantly deny even acknowledgement of his humanity

you can try to compare it to urianger's writing but uri's writing never flinches away from the fact that he's being a fucker when he's being a fucker even when played for comedy, and they still have this gaping gap of not touching the fact that urianger functionally killed thancred's foster daughter/little sister onscreen (while they probably would have realistically hashed it out over like 3 years, you really don't get to see any of that at all so it's very strained; even having thancred still kind of mad before he gets snatched and having the more cordial relationship we normally see during shb would have communicated that better).

idk. so much of ew is just written really damn poorly (even parts that, in isolation, i find acceptable to actively enjoyable (ie the 6.0 zenos cutscenes) end up falling flat in context) because of external factors forcing the sardine treatment for plot points and i'm tired of seeing people pretend that it's not. i can't exactly compare the gameplay side well given i started in 6.0, but i can break down the writing just fine and ew's fucking dire even if you consider how heavily i weigh 4.2-4.3 against stb.

i really hope they sideline the scions besides krile (or tataru, but i think she's probably going to live in side content for a while and krile has been badly neglected for so long). i don't want to interact with g'raha again anytime soon but especially not if his writing remains this bad. either acknowledge that he can be an asshole and let me be colder to him or stop bringing him up, i'm fine hating major recurring characters if they're actually well written (asahi, varis, thordan) and the catboy isn't at this point, and even when he was better-written there was still the major problem of "let me call him a dick or at least untrustworthy you pricks".

"what about estinien don't you like him" if they just have him being a weird hungry vagrant that only shows up sometimes to be deeply strange and get mobbed by baby mamool ja that is ideal, actually, i love when he's a bit of a freak. or they could have him get adopted by another fancy prince, having him repeatedly reel in powerful fancy prince types with the power of

dragon autism

would be the funniest shit on the planet.

but like. i want a break from even the scions i like, barring maybe the twins, and the twins are best when i don't have to refer to them as a unit, yknow? i want new people to take center stage. i'm not going to get that given the trailer, but god. please. make this the erenville-and-wuk lamat show with cameos by the scions and not the other way around. they can come back in 8.0.

(plus, doing that might mean we don't have the fifth expansion straight of y'shtola death fakeouts (i counted: arr/hw (given timing it's hard for me to define where catgirl blunt best belongs), stb (vs Zenos), shb (sailor moon catgirl), ew (ultima thule)). i am so fucking tired of her fakeouts. do literally anything else with her as a character i BEG OF YOU. we all know you aren't killing Miss Final Fantasy 14. her fans would flay you. the merch sales would plummet.)

[balladingbard]

6.4 MSQ Review

Some thoughts on our quest to save the Void...(spoilers under the cut)

Admittedly, I waited a bit before I did the MSQ (because Ancients took priority with Pandaemonium's finale and all that), but the MSQ overall was both...how do I put this? A bit of a mixed bag. I don't doubt that there's a lot of set up going on for a big finale (as well as tying up some threads from Endwalker), but I found that the story update had a bit more filler than I would like. Anyways, on to the specifics!

Estinien fans, how we feeling? Because that curry didn't leave me all hot and bothered, but this sure did:

Was it fanservice? Yes.

Did it prove Estinien is Endwalker's thirst king? Yes.

Did I nearly break my keyboard from hitting that Print Screen button to screenshot? I have the right to remain silent. (Also yes.)

The scene probably wasn't necessary, but Zero's reaction made for a good laugh, and it's nice to see some of the other Scions get some fan love.

I'd like to pretend that I have more to say for the first half of the MSQ, but honestly? There's not much. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. There were some cute moments (like the curry and Zero terrifying the Loporrits), but the journey from Radz to the moon just felt long and tedious. Thancred's cameo felt short and over too soon, and from a storytelling perspective, I can't help but wonder what purpose he served there. I felt like he needed a bigger role to be there, but maybe we'll get that role later as the MSQ hinted to seeing him again.

That being said, the new dungeon is a delight. The fights were fun, the music exciting, and the view was absolutely breathtaking. And the bears! How can you not stop by and watch them play?

I should probably say something about Garlemald before we head to the Void, and I think a lot of folks have mentioned that they felt the Garlean arc served its purpose, but perhaps would've made a better story for an expansion rather than continuing as side stories. I feel like Garlemald was such a big player in the overall tale, and having it sidetracked seems like a lot of missed opportunities. Rather than repeat the same "we don't trust outsiders, but I guess you aren't so bad, so we'll trust you" thought process, I feel like we really could've seen a great story told with how Garlemald rises from the ashes. It could have been an interesting story on forgiveness and redemption (plus some really dramatic infighting with who wants to take control), but I feel like we won't really see it unless it's in short bursts here and there.

Anyways, on to the Void. Seeing Vrtra in his full dragon form was a huge delight and as much as I love his avatars, seeing him go to his sister as himself was really nice. It really brought back some of the delights of Heavensward and seeing just how capable Vrtra is like the rest of the brood. Azdaja comparing Estinien to Nidhogg was on point and made me chuckle, and it was great to see Vrtra and Azdaja reunited, if only for a little while.

But then we get to Golbez. Between his own words and Zero's flashbacks, I feel like we get to the main course of the MSQ at this point.

There's a lot to unpack here, and I'm going to do my best to condense my thoughts so you don't have a book to read. I think most have come to the same conclusion that the real Golbez (a.k.a. the mage) is possibly the Void's shard of the Warrior of Light. The unvoiced cutscene and the fact that they pretty much act like us is pretty obvious, and I don't doubt we'll get more about the mage later on, especially with their crystal getting yeeted into Zeromus. On a side note (and this is just me crying in caster main), but it was really cool to see a mage in armor. Robes are nice and all, but a mage in spiky armor is a rare sight that I'd like to see more of.

Anyways, I won't rehash what others have said regarding the new trial and how our trip to the void didn't pan out according to plan, but I do have a theory about Durante that is probably off the wall, and I can't help but wonder about it.

We learn through the mage's crystal and Zero's flashback that Durante and Golbez were pretty much besties, going off and doing hero work when the Void was in chaos. Throughout our journey with Zero, she has mentioned our "friendship" with Zenos, trying to figure out what it meant. Jullus' words on trust and our own thinking of Zenos' final moments have a reason, and I don't think these mentions are without purpose.

I think Durante is a shard of Zenos, and it's not because he's a big, buff dude with blonde hair. His devotion to Golbez, his strength and power...it's very reminiscent of our Garlean prince, but instead of a rivalry, we could get a glimpse of what life could have been like with Zenos sharing our journey instead of fighting it.

In terms of storytelling, I can't help but wonder if it's an attempt to add more layers to Zenos despite him not being in the picture. Or perhaps it's trying to show us that in another world, the WoL/Zenos pair is actually a pretty strong one. Or maybe it will provide us a way to connect to Durante later on. We couldn't save Zenos, but perhaps we could save his shard. Only time will tell with how this will all pan out, but I don't think the flashbacks to Zenos are without purpose, and what that purpose truly is, we'll eventually see.

[thescions]

you guys were lovely to ask all of us some wol questions so have a scions/mun question! : what are both of yours top three favorite scions? ✨

Aw, thank you so much for this!

For Grey ---

This is SUCH a difficult question. I'll attempt to keep my reasoning brief. In reality, I love all of the Scions for reasons that relate solely to them. How they function as a narrative vehicle, how they've been characterized by their VAs, etc. If I pinch myself enough, I would narrow my top three to Estinien, Minfilia, and Papalymo.

Estinien, because I relate to him so immensely, because his is a perspective I continue to explore in my own writing. I look at his experiences with Nidhogg as a mirror manifest of Complex PTSD, literally and expositionally. The insidious nature of having been trapped in an abusive relationship. Except, your abuser lives in your head as much your world and there is No. Escape.

How must it feel to have a being not unlike a god consistently pumping your heart with venom and vitriol, targeted or otherwise? How must it feel to know that you, likely alone amidst even the others of your role, may have a meaningful impact on the influence driving a centuries long war? The weight of it. The responsibility, self-imposed and otherwise.

As the player progresses through the game, we are deadened to the enormity of having fought hyper-terrestrial beings, just as the characters would be. The other Scions may also share in our experiences, but it is only Estinien who knows what it is to have power to genuinely match ours. At least, for a while. Even Minfilia and Krile only borrow a finite glimpse of the like.

With that said, my affection for Minfilia knows no bounds. Not only do I resonate with her as someone raised femme who also enjoys the feminine on a deeper level than aesthetic, I also deeply vibe with the proposed mentality of someone who would sacrifice their all for the greater good, whether you have faces to assign to it or not.

She may not be lobbing axes at folks with us -- but perhaps that is for the best. Because the moment she has the power to fight, she fights to the point of near annihilation, using every ounce of that strength to achieve her desired outcome. Her restraint to hold out, to do as much as she possibly, possibly could, and then some...

I too, and many of you, I am sure, have burned that proverbial candle. Or perhaps I am dramatic. ;)

As for Papalymo: oh, I just love a nerdy older man who is exasperated by his promising, younger colleagues, of whom he will tend to fullness. Are any of our followers big Buffy fans?

As for Lanna --

Tough, tough question! But I am choosing Tataru, Thancred, and Ryne. (The twins are on the same level as Ryne -- but I couldn't pick one over the other!) My reasoning for all three comes down to growth.

From Tataru the secretary, to Tataru the boss bitch entrepreneur, who even for a time tried to learn how to fight to help protect us! Tataru represents the home of the Scions. Her "welcome home" at the end of EW and anytime she starts crying out of worry for us makes me sob. She isn't a warrior but she is so strong. She took over Minfilia's role of being the Scions' core emotional support while also evolving past that to really become a vibrant individual.

For Thancred --I'll admit, a lot of my reason for him being one of my favorites is because of the headcanons and development Grey and I've put together for him. But those are all based off of his canon interactions and, again, the story he goes through throughout the series. The man is clearly so godsdamned depressed, and (if the story would let him) we can see so much potential conflict with him letting that get the better of him. And of course, allllll the development for him throughout Shadowbringers with Minfilia and Ryne. He has healed so much. I'm a little confused as to where his story/development goes now in DT -- I feel like it is done, and he should be allowed to go retire happily with Ryne on the First. But if there's more for him to do, I'm happy to see it! As long as he's not just the 'flirty naked guy' again. Then I'd be disappointed.

Ryne is such an amazing character because we really only knew her for one expansion. She didn't have the same amount of time to develop as say, either of the twins, and yet immediately her story, her conflict with her self-esteem and sense of identity captured my heart. Her history was like Puella Magi Madoka Magica in Final Fantasy for me, so that totally hit all my vibes. But more than anything, she remains generally innocent even throughout the Eden raids. Innocent and kind, but not weak. And that is so rare to find these days. Ryne is a treasure -- a blessing ufufufu -- and I can't wait for her to rejoin the MSQ. WITH. GAIA. MAKE EDEN RAIDS REQUIRED, YOSHI-P!

[mmorpg-escapism]

I have just enough energy in me tonight for my favorite solo duty. This one's a doozy, and the final thing that stands between us and Endwalker! ...which I'll start tomorrow. There are also some Thoughts on the expansion as a whole at the end under the cut.

For those of you who have been keeping an eye on this journey, thank you ❤ It's not over yet and is most definitely going to loop back to stuff I did before starting here: there will eventually be another run through ARR to current sometime after the graphics update hits every expansion, so likely late next year. I've got a hrothgal waiting in the wings for that one... and do plan to do this to Dawntrail on my main with appropriate spoilers tagged as well as the usual one. We shall see how that goes.

Now, into the duty!

Alphinaud's character growth is so very visible to us after Arenvald's pep talk. The kid is a natural-born leader, and despite his mistakes he has enough confidence to really use his gifts... after a little push from his friends and family.

And now, we fight! The Scions take the field in full force - first as a group, and then splitting up across the field to take charge of several enemies. Our first stop is us clearing the field of a LOT of tempered Imperials... then splitting up to find and deal with Lunar Primals wherever we can while G'raha holds the fort.

And now, the real fun: We get to cosplay as a few of the Scions! Starting with Alisaie! RDM is my favorite caster, and this simplified take on it is very much faithful to my experience with it itself. Lots of little enemies, one big one, and a very fun slice-n-dice playground.

Development: "Random" magical glyphs that are pointed at the heart of a massive "aetheric confluence" - which is just a fancy way of describing a spot where several aetheric currents meet - and Y'shtola's guess is that they're there to enable some seriously nasty disasters should one of the Grape-flavored Primals reach and destroy one. Cool, the stakes have risen.

Split #2 has us afield as Urianger's Astro, facing Lunar Odin - which I did NOT do in my original playthrough nor this one, so I had no idea what to expect. I'm not an Astro player, but after some experience with one of my static members being... particularly annoyed with it, this wasn't quite so bad. Odin down!

Split #3 is back to G'raha and Alisaie, but now we're playing as G'raha who is some combo of BLM and WHM, facing off with Lunar Ravana. Big stabby sword bug. Woo. He's just as cool as the original fight, if a little toned down for story and "2-man" reasons. Big stabby stuff, and even an excuse to use G'raha's Break spell! Bugman down!

Now, back to the WoL with Estinien and Alphinaud facing down the monster that crippled Arenvald: Grape Ifrit. This one's personal. And boy howdy wthat one was the most intense of the three. Fire everywhere, a big LB3-like thing out of Estinien, the works. But it's the last of the primals, and we're all still alive.

I love this duty so very much. Not only because we get to spend some time as our Scion friends. Not only because we get to fight primals in a more one-on-one style that helps me imagine how to write it when I get there. It's also because there are stakes going in - stop the crazy person with lots of power who's trying to end the world - that become more specific during the fight, and then when the evil plan is thwarted, they don't just gloss over the aftermath.

We get to see our friends being VERY human. Alisaie is exhausted and berating herself for not doing enough. Alphinaud cannot stand losing anyone, and we have to watch him fight that when his healing isn't enough to save the man in front of him. We see the Grand Company of Eorzea at work - city-state leaders and beastmen tribes alike working together to cure the tempered. We cannot save everyone, an Amalj'aa warrior reminds the Scions, but those we have saved would not have been if not for you.

"So please, hold your heads high." The entire bustling field stopped and listened. Every single country we have visited, from the Alliance to Doma, is represented here. Standing behind the Scions, who gave everything they had to win the day, despite the cost. The moon breaks through the clouds above, and one last time we hear the Shadowbringers main theme break through as everyone gathered stares up at it, and the credits roll.

================================================

As I sit and process this entire expansion one more time, it's clear... Shadowbringers fundamentally alters your brain chemistry. That's from one of the posts going around the week I wrapped this up, and it is extremely accurate. We started all the way back in ARR as an adventurer with a gift, but little else, and got used. We slowly turned into something else on our way into Heavensward ("What are you?" - Thordan VII after we beat him) and used the power we had to liberate two entire countries from the Garlean empire alongside our friends, then watched them get snatched away from us for some unknown reason.

And then we went to where they were and found ourselves embroiled in a world that flipped the script on everything we knew. Light was bad, Dark was good, and everything we thought we knew was wrong. Discoveries with ripple effects that will be felt through Endwalker and beyond were made, and two entire worlds were changed as a result.

I'm not that good at analyzing story, or at least I didn't think I was when I started. All I knew is that this expansion was The Best that FFXIV had to offer, and I wanted to find ways to articulate why I thought that. I think I've succeeded, at least a little. I'm very excited for Endwalker and Dawntrail and beyond. Maybe I'll even get some creative spark going and write more of ARW for your enjoyment and my own - I want to do more than think about my blorbo :)

One more Arenvald Appreciation post tomorrow, most likely, and then into Endwalker!

[motheatenscarf]

Man, Urianger continues to win the trophy for "Most Improved" of the main trio of Scions.

I like Thancred and Y'shtola, but idk, man, Urianger is the one between the three of them that actually makes me distraught over "Oh no, I love this character!" the way that like, the twins or Aymeric or Emet Selch do

Idk if it's just a.) a combination of endearing character traits (autistic nerd + good with kids), b.) he reminds me of my GOOlock D&D character that I played for 3 years straight, or c.) his voice actor, who's so good he will make you care about Uncle fucking Gamlen in DA2, but I really do love Urianger 🥺

He got some nice moments FINALLY addressing some of his grief and regrets and the existential horror of the "brutal algebra" of trying to decide how we can save as many people as we can from the absolute devastation of an entire world.

They're having him address "Oh, hey, we've known each other for years and been through Some Shit together, but I've never actually... opened up, have I?" which is nice, and also BIG MOOD that all it took was the world literally ending to get Urianger to open up.

Urianger's a great character with that very gentle, non-toxic stoicism (Estinien take notes), but yeah, I would not say he and Talia were especially close prior to this.

There's a good Trek quote where like, the best way to say "I love you" to the people in your life is not those words verbatim, but just saying "Let me help," and that's an adage I abide by. My favorite characters are the ones I just want to help, and there is a lovely synchronicity between player and character when it actually lets me.

To date, one of my favorite quests was going on a shopping errand for Lyse back when she was still Yda, right after Moenbryda died. It was something that was emotionally hard for her and she was asking for help, because Rowena always criticized her mask and tried to sell her a new one when she went, and she couldn't deal with that in her grief. It was a quiet, simple thing you could do to ease some of her burden and she opened up about it. And it became all the more tragically poignant when you later learned that her mask came from her dead sister, and that Moenbryda was a surrogate to that dead sister.

I'm glad Urianger, who was in theory Moenbryda's BEST FRIEND from childhood, possibly lover, is now finally, FOUR. EXPANSIONS. LATER. getting to open up about this shit.

[aislingsurrow]

Mutual Ketchup

Tagged by @ubejamjar! Thanks for poking me!!

Last Song: As I type this I am listening to a Book Club Radio mix by Tinzo, and I'm not sure what the song is I've just heard but this is, as usual, a wonderful mix.

Currently Watching: Look, it's the mix since it's a video of her set uuhhh look I'm doing this a little backwards-- the last thing I watched besides the set was Dan Olson's Comfortably Doug video.

Three Ships: Some on my mind at the moment...

Falin/Marcille from Dungeon Meshi

Xiao Lanhua/Dongfang Quingcang from Love Between Fairy and Devil

Estinien/Aisling/Urianger sandwich from my heart and mind <3

Favorite Color: Don't make me pick )':

Currently Consuming: Some coca cola.... and weed.

First Ship: Man... Belle/Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast... 4 sure....

Place of Birth: I'm a Leo Rising so make of that what you will.

Currently Residing: Joisey!

Relationship Status: Single!

Last Movie: I think it was... Chaahat! SRK goes utterly insane in this movie. "IT DOESN'T HURT! HIT ME!" aaaaaa man, he just tosses himself around and is just.... so... sopping.... his physicality is wild

Currently Working On: My next Lalapril post, for Star! I'm not able to do every prompt this year, but I'm having fun with the ones that inspire me. Star is gonna be funny. After that, I hope to work on Musical!

Tag: Okay, mutuals, uhh- @angelinecarax, @sasslett, @sparrowsong-7, @uldahstreetrat....

... And you!*

* You know, this is one of my favorite things that credits can do, especially video game credits, always end the whole thing with, "... and you!" or like, "You, the player" that sort of thing haha

[coldshrugs]

HI HELLO NO ANON BECAUSE I AM HERE TO YELL.

Things I love about your writing 🥺:

Your prose is so pretty! Your compositions are so fluid and elegant, but there's a raw honesty to them. It's gorgeous, but also so much fun and always such a joy to read every word.

I love that you're not afraid to flip the script and write from a POV that is not the player character, then hit all the right notes. I love your Estinien POV so much.

Dare I say that your smut is top-tier excellence? The perfect balance of sensuality and connection, romance and desire.

Love you, mwha! 😘💖

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you, blessings upon your word doc! 💗💗💗💗💗💗

i am such a sucker for writing how other characters view my own 😂 whether that's flattering or not! Estinien's pov is especially fun because, to me, he has SO much going on in his mind but struggles to voice it, and when he does, it's either too direct or he meanders "off-topic" in a way that makes perfect sense to him.

and. 😳 thank you..... exploring that part of relationships is so much fun!!

[windupnamazu]

real winners quit!

ffxivwrite2022 #03: temper a person's state of mind seen in terms of their being angry or calm.

alphinaud & lunya, with alisaie. appearances and mentions of other scions + @fistsoflightning's zaya, @verbroil's rjoli, @nuclearanomaly's ninira, and @whitherliliesbloom's illya. mmo gamer au. 1120wc. ⮞ "so," alphinaud said thinly as alisaie once again dropped an aoe on him, "this is the fabled tilted towers."

"Congratulations, little man," was the first thing Alphinaud heard as he joined the one other person sitting in the FC's voice chat. Lunya's smug grin was audible in each word. "You've been chosen for «SCION»'s P5S blind prog tonight! And by tonight, I mean in 30 minutes."

"As a healer," Alphinaud sighed.

"As a healer!" Lunya cheerily confirmed. "How was class?"

Exhausting. Why did the new Savage tier have to drop in the middle of the school week anyway, and on the day he had lab with his professor from hell? Why did he even choose general zoology as an elective course anyway when he was a med student?! His only answer for Lunya was a long groan that got her cooing sympathetically.

The idea of raid night wasn't all that promising either—Alphinaud loved his FC. He really did. They had a great dynamic and ran every content available in their favourite MMORPG and even grouped up to play games outside of it. But the Scions of the Seventh Dawn was also comprised mostly of players with the full capability to be hardcore but fucked around so much in prog that they were ultimately a casual group. Depending on who else Lunya pulled for prog this night was either going to be smooth or traumatic.

"Let's see… we've got me and Raha, of course." A no-brainer. The FC's favourite and-they-were-roommates! came as a pair more often than not these days, especially since it was Lunya who introduced G'raha to the game. "Raha's running Paladin so I'm getting Thancred to MT."

Oh, thank goodness, Alphinaud heard G'raha say somewhere else in the room through Lunya's mic, causing Lunya to giggle.

"Urianger and Rjoli are on a date so your co-healer's gonna be Shtola today."

Y'shtola started maining Black Mage during the last expac after a seven year streak of playing White Mage and White Mage only, but he hadn't realized she was keeping WHM geared up too. Skeptical, Alphinaud asked, "Really? What's her ilevel?"

"600. Good luck."

The night was getting more and more stressful by the minute.

Alphinaud breathed in deeply. "Okay. Who's the magic DPS?"

"Thaaaaaaat would be Alisaie."

Oh, gods have mercy.

Strictly speaking, it wasn't mandatory to invite him and his sister to everything together—they were twins, but their own separate people. It mostly happened because their schedules lined up so they were online at the same time, save for days Alisaie had fencing practice or Alphinaud had debate club. He didn't have an issue with it, seriously, because just like he loved his FC, Alphinaud loved his sister. He really, truly did. Really!

"Why not Liya?" Alphinaud asked a little desperately. "Or Ninira?"

"Uh, Kaye's static already scooped up Liya," Lunya said, her tone clearly suggesting she was thinking I thought you knew this? Fake Illya stan. "And Estinien invited Nini but she ate too many boozy chocolates at Book Club today and is suuuuuuuuper messed up right now. In the drunk way. So she's napping it off."

"I… didn't think it was possible to consume the amount of those things you'd need to get drunk before you got sick from the chocolate."

"I thought so too, but, well, it's Ninira," Lunya could only say fondly, if not a little disturbedly. "Anyway, our melee DPS for the night are Estinien and Zaya. You're welcome."

Estinien, Thancred, Y'shtola.... They were all good at keeping things in line, though Thancred was prone to getting swept up in Zaya's shenanigans (generally involving trying to squeeze as much uptime for them as they could), and Lunya's gremlinbility skyrocketed when her pseudo-sibling was around. G'raha was normally composed but everyone knew that if Lunya told him to jump into the death wall at 0.5% enrage he would do it. But while prone to silliness, Lunya loved the thrill of winning more than anyone else and knew how to behave herself during Savage raids.

No. The issue was ultimately going to be Alisaie. Alisaie, who Fantasia'd into a Galka just so she could block his view of his significantly shorter Hume so he couldn't see if he was properly in the safe spot for the last part of last expansion's EX3. Alisaie, who thought Estinien wasn't cool. Alisaie, who stole his pants drop for giggles two raid tiers ago when she already had hers. Alisaie, who caused more wipes than she saved. Alisaie, who used her RDM LB3 specifically to maul the whole party during Storm's Crown just last week.

Alphinaud rubbed his temples.

Girl Power, Alisaie's Galka, sprinted towards his body as the others scrambled across the arena in a blind attempt to survive Devour, sliding right on top of him and immediately leaning back on an invisible wall.

Using the emote was an innocuous action, but Alphinaud knew she had taken a ride through the dark side lately. Paywalled assets stolen from other games, "upscaled" textures run through waifu2x, the modifying of the dev team's hard work and the stomping on other's loving character designs, running illegal plugins that would give her an advantage over others… No, he knew what she was doing.

"Alisaie," Alphinaud said, hand trembling around his gamer mouse. "Please stop Fortnite dancing on my corpse."

"Oops." She was not one bit sorry even as the Proto-Carbuncle took a loving bite out of her head and she joined him on the floor. "I meant to hit Verraise."

"Wait, wait, wait," Lunya cut in, surprisingly not yet dead as she just barely En Avant'd out of the last AoE. "Me too!"

To Alphinaud's horror, her Tarutaru sprinted over to both dead bodies on the floor and leaned against an invisible wall as she stood on them. Zaya wheezed a breathy chuckle.

"Mitigate," Y'shtola intoned over the chaos, not that it would matter with no shields and her piddly i600 heals. Thancred and G'raha overlapped Reprisals.

RAGEQUITTING IS CRINGE, Alphinaud reminded himself. ESTINIEN WOULD NEVER RAGEQUIT. This was a lie, of course, because Estinien did in fact ragequit from E8S one time when Ysayle refused to stop spinning the boss and he kept dropping his combos from missing positionals. He still hadn't forgiven her for it to this day, though they changed the positional requirement with the current expansion.

If it sucks, hit da bricks, Estinien advised Alphinaud after everyone left so they could pick him up again and reinstance. Or at least, he thought that's what Estinien said, but it was hard to tell at the time because Estinien's cat Orn Khai had crawled into his lap and started screaming for dinner as he was saying it.

Alphinaud opened the Duty menu, and just this once, he allowed his cursor to drift to the Abandon Duty button.

[tovaicas]

@vexatious-knight​​ sure, I can get into it! I know I make it seem like I utterly hated HW in those last few points but I actually don’t, it’s one of my fav expacs. it’s mostly just that I like to bitch abt the weaker parts of things I like bc constructive criticism is love and the finest form of flattery to me.

details under the cut. this is gonna be real long lol I’m sorry

ARR: full warning, I did ARR in a complete state of ‘near mental breakdown from uni stress’ kinda fugue, combined with me being more focused on Learning The Game than paying close attention to the writing (as it goes with the early stages of a new video game), so my initial memories of ARR are a lil’ hazy. regardless I’m in the camp that it Wasn’t That Bad, and knowing the backstory behind its existence makes it easier for me to forgive a lot of it’s flaws. it’s slow and a little poorly paced and very long (and the scions have little character, and the less that’s said abt their voice acting the better, tho I miss some ARR voices like ARR-ysayle, misgardsormr, and merlwyb), but it’s otherwise a fine introduction to the game. I disagree with the fandom optic of ‘skip ARR you don’t need it!’ and how people act like it’s the worst content in the game, bc ARR sets up at least some of the basics for what happens down the line, and again I don’t think it’s that bad. it’s definitely not winning any narrative awards, but it’s serviceable (esp. for smth cooked up quickly after the near-demise of a previous game version).

HW: so far competing w/ ShB for my fav expac. something to note is that I’m a writer, not a game designer, so some of my criticisms are petty just because I theoretically have the time and ability to expand as much as I want on the things I feel could’ve been done better, because I do. I understand that sometimes game design and MMO writing is just Like That bc of time and scope restraints. okay.

I generally really enjoyed HW - though I think it had a couple of missteps, it generally kept a tight narrative and kept sight of its themes. Ishgard is still my favourite setting (bc who doesn’t like rubbernecking a dumpster fire) and I like how it flipped a lot of character genres on their heads (estinien is the broody dark character but he explicitly isn’t an asshole, he’s just traumatized; aymeric is the cool collected golden boy but displays an impulsivity (that gets someone he respects killed) that you’d more expect out of someone like estinien; ysayle is almost sisterly in how much she cares for other people, and instead of being the violent cult leader you initially knew her as she’s literally the matron for a group of outcasts abandoned and harmed by the system). I like how uncertain it initially feels, I enjoy the couple of moments where the wol starts feeling less like a player avatar and more like a realized person by having character reactions and traumas (they’re utterly devastated by haurchefant’s death, and are shown to be explicitly traumatized and worn down), it does a good job of not sugarcoating how much of a hellhole ishgard is, and for the most part it does a fairly good job of having people like aymeric recognize they’re complicit in why their country is this way and making real meaningful steps to change it. I liked the revelations abt what was really going on w/ the dragonsong war.

also i’m native, so seeing a catholic church analogue get thoroughly dunked on, acknowledge, and make actual steps towards reparations (while acknowledging that an apology requires actual action and not just words) for a crime they committed is a little bit more personal to me than it might be for some others.

as for things I think were weaker....I’ve mentioned a few of them before. like I said a few times I think estinien was an exceptionally flat character and that the reveal could’ve been so much better had he been allowed to have a modicum of growth and agency and actually been made to grapple with the reality of the situation and what it means for him and his sense of self. HW has a weird fixation on humbling ysayle (ravana, focusing on how ‘wrong’ she was during its most important scene despite the fact her not knowing makes little sense bc vidofnir) and the reveal + her completely unnecessary death makes it harder to enjoy for me. speaking of, I find the fact that after she dies the heretics are completely forgotten abt to be a particularly big fumble, bc the entire reason they even exist is a huge portion of HW’s message (they’re not all evil fanatic dragonfuckers, many (if not most) of the heretics are otherwise normal people who have been harmed by the system often through no fault of their own, ex. heustienne as shown if you did HW DRG quests, and will be killed if they go back to Ishgard), so it’s a little strange to me that their voices and plights are quietly dropped as soon as they can when they really should be some of the loudest, as should brume residents. another sore spot for me personally (that I’ve mentioned) is that neither aymeric nor the game wants to acknowledge the awkward truth that aymeric, as leader of the temple knights, is directly complicit in their many (not secret at all) crimes and how his failure to control them reflects back on him as lord commander. that he can’t seem to reconcile with this and blames everything on his father is a fun character flaw, but I’d like to see it more acknowledged (both canon and fandomwise) that aymeric fails in some pretty important ways and makes some weird decisions (like restoration-era ishgard still has the inquisitors. aymeric. you kept the fucking heresy police?). I’d like to see his characterization of ‘perfect golden boy’ to be challenged more often, but I’m not gonna hold my breath lol.

StB: oh boy. as you probably know, stb is obviously (so far) the weakest expac in terms of writing - it fails in a lot of ways, sometimes to the point things actually get offensive. what I liked abt it was mostly mechanical. a lot of it’s fights were really fun, and stb is abt the point (other than fights like nidhogg) where the game starts upping the ante on mechanic difficulty across the board and starts taking the training wheels off (just a little), and I think a lot of its maps were nicely designed and are nice to look at. omega was a fun raid storyline, and I also liked little details, like how this expac’s ‘beast tribes’ are treated as equals in contrast to the uld’ahn assertion that eorzean ones are violent savages that need to be monitored and put down when they get too uppity (this is why I have very mixed feelings on the scions as an organization, but that’s for a separate post).

narrative-wise tho.....stb is a mess. it’s the classic case of biting off more than it could chew, bc it tries to do two storylines at once and fails at this hard; the ala mhigan sections are too short and underwritten across the board, and they spend too much time faffing abt just getting to Doma that that section feels too short as well. shinryu is a massive sore spot; a bahamut+ level primal is born, disappears, and just.....is never mentioned again except at the very end, where you had no buildup or way to predict this happening. I spent literally the entire expac wondering when people were gonna worry abt shinryu on the loose potentially causing another dalamud situation at any moment. things that are super interesting and have a lot of implications, like zenos’ (fake! manufactured!) echo, which is hydaelyn’s power, giving him the ability to body hop (which is in all previous appearances something only granted by or exclusive to ascians) is inherently interesting and a good segue into the shb revelations but it’s literally never brought up again.

I also didn’t really enjoy it character-wise; papalymo and lyse have absolutely no depth or development in ARR or HW so his death is utterly wasted and the reveal that yda is a fake persona has literally no punch (haha) to it bc yda had no character beyond comic relief in ARR anyway. lyse unfortunately never gets out from under the shadow of her comic relief designation, and due to pacing issues her arc is anemic as fuck (she never really grows and keeps asking the same questions over and over) and never actually materializes into what the devs wanted it to be; lyse as resistance leader was a point that was never going to work as-written, and that’s before the colourism issue comes into play. I don’t think she’s necessarily an awful character, but she was definitely mishandled.

I’m not going to talk abt hien or gosetsu here. know that I absolutely despise them, hien especially, for a lot of reasons. but if I get into these reasons I’ll write a 5k word essay on just that so I’ll spare you the pain and save it for a different post. but hien makes me angry as a character so. yugiri is the best character here by process of elimination, fight me.

yotsuyu’s arc is unsurprisingly a mess, and the post-patches fail to actually engage with it bc her main deal is that she’s been horrifically mistreated, especially by men, her entire life, and the entirety of the post-patches are hien treating her like an object to traded around and gosetsu making funney ‘jokes’ abt women. it’s awful. note that I’m not excusing her actions - yotsuyu is an awful person who’s done awful shit, and the inherent moral dilemma of how to handle her crimes as tsuyu is an interesting beat - but everything abt her is mishandled and so...egregious that at times it almost feels exploitative. it makes me wonder that as written if she’d been better off literally just being an awful person because she’s an awful person, and not awful bc she’s a sexual assault survivor (which, I want to stress, this is not the first time this game has made the implication that women who are sexually assaulted are just morally broken afterwards (the first was eline roaille) which is quite the stance to take). all in all I think stb is just across the board unsatisfying and is just a complete mess of an expac. fun fights, tho!

ShB: this is as far as I’ve gone and I’ve not started post-patches yet, so I’ll only be talking abt base ShB. like I think I mentioned right after finishing - I liked it! I think it did a good job of keeping to a tight narrative, and one of it’s bigger strengths is that none of its zones overstay their welcome (like. cough cough. ruby sea. cough cough). other than a couple areas I think it did a genuinely good job of telling what it wanted to tell, and it’s competing w/ HW for my favourite of the bunch.

it’s maps are super pretty (lakeland has some of my favourite bgm so far), it’s fights are fun as hell, and the lightwarden narrative is genuinely gripping. I really enjoyed the bleaker, more dark fantasy tone starting out, I enjoyed how it didn’t pull its punches regarding how ever-present and how...inevitable the sin eaters feel as a threat (it reminds me of ishgard somewhat, in that way). after an entire expac of feeling like a weapon and almost background character just here to solve problems through violence, shb’s narrative of the scions actually (finally) coming to care about your wellbeing as a person as you’re literally dying for the world and working as a team and the MMO player tendency to just follow quest objectives being somewhat used against you as it’s your ‘but thou must’ violence that ends up nearly killing you is a nice subtle meta thing. the worldbuilding for the first feels fairly grounded (by final fantasy standards) and I don’t really have any issues with it. I wasn’t expecting to like the emet-selch arc at the end but I actually really did, I feel they delivered on that front.

eulmore is my biggest sore spot for this expac, bc I think that while their viewpoint re: the end of the world is interesting I don’t think they’re used well. I get that their existence is to highlight the forces keeping norvrandt divided, but just...hm. I didn’t find them super compelling or dangerous as a threat. you really get the sense that without ran’jiit these guys are just hilariously incompetent. and though I’m not going to talk abt it, it’s not my place, eulmore is fatphobic as fuck.

speaking of ran’jiit, he’s obviously the weakest part of the whole show. I find him to be an utter waste of a character, especially once you consider his hook is kinda interesting in its own right; he’s the only eulmoran we see to be in it and loyal to vauthry for reasons that don’t appear to be selfish, but we never actually learn what these reasons are. nothing abt him is explained (he has a dragon? how are there dragons on the first when dragons in this universe are space aliens deposited on the source? he can fuse with it? how? the only other time we see draconic transformations is in ishgardians bc of ratatoskr’s latent aether. is this a real dragon or just smth shaped like one? what is it? we never see any other creature that looks even similar (the closest is alte roite in omega raids). how is he so strong?), and what little character he does have is often ignored if it’s in the wol’s favour (this is a man who kicks y’shtola and his own man off the side of a bottomless pit, but for some inexplicable reason fails to do the same to the wol, his greatest enemy, when they’re distracted by it). his unwinnable fight schtick is not only old at this point but it’s infuriating - I can forgive zeno’s scripted fights bc it’s reiterated over and over again that he’s not exactly normal when it comes to his combat prowess, and the first go around is shocking in its own right bc it’s the first time you’ve lost a fight soundly, not through any trickery or magic or anything. He’s legitimately just stronger than you. ran’jiit just shows up. wrecks your shit. the exarch gives a weak ‘oh no, ran’jiit!’ as explanation. nothing else is ever explained. he’s just this inexplicably strong dude following you around as an unnecessary motivator to kill lightwardens faster, that’s it. it’s a disappointment in an otherwise strong expac. ryne is however my baby.

I’m not entirely sure on how to feel abt the exarch/g’raha rn, that will probably depend on how the post-patches handle him. know that I intensely disliked him for much of shb, bc I read his actions as deeply horrifically manipulative and genuinely thought he was going the be the main villain he was so fuckin shady. no I don’t really care he was doing it for a good cause, he still forced the wol into a war he knew could kill them without giving them full information abt the consequences and held their friends as ransom and only told them the barest of information after they were already in the shits (holminster). so we’ll see how it goes.

my other quibbles are pettier, and are more the result of time/mmo constraints. like I said once, I’d have liked the lightwarden corruption to be more obviously present (as the game pointedly goes out of its way right at the start to show you exactly what being mid-change looks like) and for maybe at least one more containment failure scare in the tempest to really hammer home how little time you have left (was genuinely surprised there wasn’t one) but that’s easy as fuck to fix in writing when you have unlimited scope.

tl;dr: it’s not that I hate what happened in HW, it’s that I think that while it’s an overall good scene a lot of it’s potential was wasted by a failure to give certain people (estinien) agency or depth (despite the fact he has massive stakes in them), and focuses on the wrong aspect bc it wants to laugh at a woman being wrong instead of the big picture. I think that all of the expacs have their fumble points, and I think these deserve to be talked abt critically. I otherwise really enjoy and even love HW/ShB.

StB is however an entire trip into a minecraft canyon of an expac. I don’t think it’s irredeemably awful, but you can definitely feel the writing issues. the less I say abt hien the better.

[wrymbloods]

this is kind of a weird q im sorry but i made a drg main to smooch estinien but drg… scares me. how hard is it for someone whos kind of Bad at video games lol.

not a weird question at all !!

personally, i think dragoon is one of the easier melee dps!! my first time playing ffxiv (before making kame), i started out as a bard but quickly dropped the game cause i just couldn't understand how the combat worked haha and when i picked it up again, made kame and chose lancer as my starter, i found it much easier to understand!!

it's also good to know that ffxiv is very friendly to players who might start out nervous to play with others! i know i definitely was, and i played the entirety of a realm reborn with duty support (which allows you to run dungeons with npcs)! but remember there's absolutely no shame in messing up every now and then! and being completely honest, since drg is a dps class, no one will notice if you do mess up anyways haha

it might take a little bit of learning to get used to, but that's the same for all games! i really do hope you end up playing, and estinien is very worth it for the smooches hehe <33 ((i would also love to see your character if you felt comfortable with that!! also enjoy seeing other estinien smooching wols uwu <333

[coldvampire]

uhh i guess update on fun stuff from me rn:

- have decided to really throw myself into finishing as much of my fic as possible before internship season is up; currently replaying bloodlines and loving it again

- speaking of vtm, I have successfully convinced my regular dnd group to let me run a a game (wow). if all goes well, it should become a regular thing. now, normally ive only ever wanted to be a player but the v5 system feels approachable to me in a way plenty of other systems do Not + i get to hoard characters and inflict them on other people + i forgot how much i like it when people yell at me for writing decisions i make lmao

- ffxiv still fun, getting into the story (technically did so around the halfway expansion point but took a little longer to rly catch on). my fc is a group of very nice people & i was concerned about that. also, estinien/varha dumbass4dumbass supremacy.

[joiedecombat]

OTP asks: 17 & 6 😊

17. Who fell in love first?

6. When did they realize they loved each other?

For Raine and Aymeric, this is kind of a whole saga, really.

Detailed Heavensward spoilers and a lot of tl;dr under the cut.

I've talked about Raine's early impressions of Aymeric and how she found it difficult to trust him at first. Though that improved after she spent some time in Foundation, she didn't really start to see the true man until she came back from her Dravanian road trip with Alphinaud and Estinien and Ysayle, when Aymeric insisted on confronting Thordan about the truths they'd uncovered. Until then he'd maintained the mask of the political game-player, supportive but also carefully hedging his bets; that was the first time she understood the depth of his idealism.

At that point, Raine had a much closer connection with Haurchefant. She might have had romantic feelings for him - she was still in the process of sorting out how she felt when the raid on the Vault happened and everything went to shit. Haurchefant's death hit her very hard, and between that and the necessity of chasing down Thordan and the Ward and finally getting some leads on the missing Scions, there was simply no time for her to process much until quite a while afterward, any feelings of attraction toward Aymeric least of all.

Meanwhile Aymeric had been getting reports on Raine's actions around Dragonhead and Whitebrim from well before the two of them met in person, and was already intrigued about what he'd heard. Canny as he is, he took all the praise she received with a healthy grain of salt, but once they met and especially after she came to Ishgard he only found himself more and more impressed by how much she did for his nation - not just for House Fortemps who sheltered her, but for pretty much anyone else who crossed her path, from the Brume all the way to the Convictory and more.

So Aymeric definitely fell first. However, this was also a very fraught time for him personally, with the looming threat of a decisive attack by Nidhogg and his horde, civil unrest within the walls of Foundation, and then having his whole understanding of Ishgard's history and the Dragonsong War upended by the information Raine and company brought back from Dravania. He experienced a very personal and ideological betrayal at the hands of his own father, was tortured by the Heavens' Ward, and while the narrative doesn't spend time on it we can't minimize how much that had to have impacted him.

And almost as soon as Raine stopped Thordan and the Ward from enacting their plans, there was the need to work things out with the dragons, and then that was jeopardized by Nidhogg's return - this time by possessing Aymeric's closest friend. So while his feelings for Raine were growing through all of this, he also didn't have much opportunity for him to process it until later.

For Aymeric, I think the lightning bolt moment was at the Grand Melee.

Riding the emotional high of Ishgard's victory against the other Grand Companies, the proof that they can still pull together for a common goal despite all the strife and upheaval... And Raine's the one who carried them there, wearing Ishgardian colors, because he asked her to fight on their side even though she had no obligation to.

(Thancred had it figured out before either of them did, once he witnessed Aymeric asking her to participate on Ishgard's side and Aymeric's reaction when she agreed:

"Gods help me, I think it might be love. [...] And did you see the way his eyes lit up when you nodded? 'Twas a look of boundless relief and joy. One would think a politician more practiced at concealing his emotion.")

It could have very well ended there, if Raine had taken off immediately for the Rising Stones and her next adventure. Aymeric wasn't blind to Haurchefant's feelings for Raine, and he had no idea if she might have reciprocated; she obviously grieved for him, so either way making a move seemed disrespectful and wrong. And even without that, he didn't want to put any pressure on her when she was already in such constant demand for whatever the Alliance might need doing.

But precisely because the events around ending the Dragonsong War took such a toll on her, Raine stayed on in Ishgard for a good while after everything was settled, helping with the restoration efforts and the establishment of the Firmament and generally recuperating. That gave them more time to interact without all of the other crap looming over them, and Raine had the time to heal and to see Aymeric's best sides as he continued to work to build a better Ishgard.

It's hard to put a finger on when she realized she'd fallen in love with him. If she had to say, it was probably during the Skyrise fetes celebrating the completion of the Firmament district. She was roped into participating by a group of orphans she'd befriended (the oldest boy among them was reluctant to join in for fear of looking childish, so Raine felt compelled to set an example for him). Aymeric managed to get away from his work as Speaker long enough to put in an appearance, and during the final round of games, when the participants were tasked to hand out gifts to various people, Francel and the organizers of the fete conspired to have Raine deliver a gift to him. Their intent was mostly just to show respect and gratitude to Aymeric for his leadership by having the Warrior of Light and national hero present him with a token, but it ended up being a moment that tipped Raine into examining how she felt about him more closely.

(Estinien had also turned up, semi-incognito in his civvies, to check out the completed Firmament and got the unexpected side bonus of seeing this all go down.

"Fury take me, you're in love with her," and then Aymeric all but combusted on the spot, giving Estinien a chance to make good his exit.)

Even then, it took a long time afterwards for either of them to act on their feelings. Raine had no idea how Aymeric felt and did not want to overstep, especially as she knew she wouldn't be in Ishgard permanently. The main result was that they formed a strong friendship with an increasingly powerful undercurrent of unresolved sexual tension and romantic pining that didn't get worked out until, uh, right before Raine disappeared off to the First for Shadowbringers.