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#me when i draw things nobody cares about
ozwuv · 2 years
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pokédog sports!
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t8oo · 9 months
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this happens in the columbo world and not the magic lupin world where physics dont matter and lupin probably breaks all the bones in his twiggy body to slide out the prison window bars 😢 (original by @/hausofdecline on twitter)
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miniiinebulaee · 1 month
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Man I'm so tired of this talk
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askpokepelago · 2 years
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Moon, Gladion, and Hau’s Silvally playing tug-of-war on the shores of PokePelago
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98chao · 7 months
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its kind of funny that crk brought out such Emotion in me that i just whipped out all my knowledge on how symbolism and colour affects art. im not playing about those cookies bro.
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thetisming · 20 days
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im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it
#im in this group chaf and im the only one there that doesnt live in new york snf doesnt know any og them irl and theyall know more and see#it a lot and know about the swing order and i dont and ive been feeling so bad about it and it's been so hard for me and then i have friends#that are clearlv better at fandom in general than me so theyre better at characterisation so if i get criticisrd i just feel Terrible and i#havent properly wtitten in ages caude ive been so worried about my characterisation cause a friend very gently criticised me on my character#isation like 2 months ago and i really look up to this person so now i just cant Do anything#and also the thing that they eere pointing out wad more anothrr friend's thing that i didn't even Like much but if someone talks enough i#can be persuaded to anything and also because im just terrified do i#'ll go along with literally anything just because i dont want poeple to hate me#and it's ruining my enjoyment and i mean i made an au and i was hoping that that would make it so that i could maybe write again but nobody#carrd so now i judt cant#i feel so broken right now#also people that were meant to be &j friends are now friend friends and i mean thats Fine#but i cant! handle it!!!#i cant talk about other things unless it's My other things#and i especially cant talk about five nights at freddy's because i used to be hyperfixated on that so now that im.not i just cant! talk abou#t it! or hear about it!!!#not to mention that that game fucking destroyed my life when i was 9 because everyone liked it but i didn't know what it eas anf they wouldn#t explain so now i judt CANT hear about it!!!!!!#i cant do it i cant. do this#i miss when it brought me so much joy but now i hate talking about it online and i cant do it anymore#i can't pretend to care i can't keep being an &j blog even though i do love it!!!! but i feel so insecure and inferior that i just cant!!!!!#i hate this so mcuh im sorry i needrd to get this out#i dont have anything interesting to say anymore and i mean there's also just like. the whole being autistic thing and not wanting peopel to#judge me for my interests which they have my whole life and now it's too much and i cant care this much anymore. i just can't#i dont have anything to contribute either i cant draw and i can't write anymore and i just dont know what to do#sorry
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sysig · 6 months
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See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#Ft. Wally West and Xigbar again - they're good to him <3#Hhhh ;; The sads :'0#ZEX never got to fully show off his uniform ;;#I was so hoping for that! He deserves to show off and feel nice and be praised </3#At least he'd surrounded himself with good people - the dynamics around which are also interesting#Wally lovely <3 He's so sweet honestly just wants to offer a shoulder if he's able any small bit of comfort#He's injured and he's still trying to hug ZEX weh ;; Any bit of solace ♥#Xigbar's way of cheering him up is his own kind of misplaced sweetness haha I love the care put into everyone's quirks <3#Ugh the whole thing of Nobodies trying to (and failing to! To varying degrees) convince themselves that they don't have emotions#Clearly Xig is unbothered by this so it's better to just flirt and not worry about it! It's a shame but it happens to everyone#I see you Xigbar#Really tho him being a bit flippant and silly and tactile with ZEX did seem to help haha#''Let me comfort you'' pfft - sad silliness hehe#And then Dexter showed up!! I was so unprepared for that!!#Honestly I only expected him to come visit The One Time so I was so not ready for him to be here after All This#He made ZEX cry last time and this time he came to it already crying ;;#Ughhughgh ZEX's unshakable trust for DAX - even just his voice - being the breaking point of his self control I jfdlksahfds#Someone he can be weak in front of since he doesn't want to be seen by anyone that way - only to DAX ;;;;#Offering any bit of familiarity as comfort weh I'm fine this is fine ;;#Poor ZEX :( Being so powerless and helpless in this situation is so sad!! At least when he was in the War he was in control to an extent#He only touched his cheek with his uniform later that night which I do honestly love the imagery of soft and tender <3#I like drawing people holding things fully to their face more than I remembered haha#And then the fact that his roommate changed the same night and it was /Kirk/ of all people fjdslahfdsfd wehhhhh 😭#Kirk is genuinely the sweetest to him he is absolutely best boy but to have a Captain after all that ;;;;#It cuts so deeply ironic oww <3 <3
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cyberfunsupporter · 1 month
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people want aubrey to be this soulless gang leader so bad sometimes tbh and i can tell. like the mean friend. instead of caring and fun. yes she went through some serious shit and (outwardly, at least) detested her original friend group — but she didn’t like. lose her emotions in the process? or at least like u know the empathy. the kindness. that’s actually kind of the point. she pretends like she did and she doesn’t care because she’s protecting herself. everyone always says she’s so angry and like. ur so close to the point actually. she IS angry. cause she feels things and she’s hurt. and she also still feels like she wants to be kind. and she wants to be friends with them again. and she wants to have friends in general. just cause she’s mad at the way everybody handled mari’s death and can’t stand them cause of that during the course of the game doesn’t mean that she isn’t capable of like. having friends and being kind and being a good friend to others. it’s actually kinda funny to assume everything w the hooligans is just mean cause like. aubrey’s 16 lol. those people are all like 14-17. her and her friends are regular people, and they’re all FRIENDS. they don’t just follow aubrey cause she’s like badass and angry or something. they’re all close + look up to her or whatever because she’s their friend. angel always wants to show aubrey his new dance moves . that’s because she always wants to see them! she cares about what angel likes even when kel and sunny and everybody else thinks he’s a loser. the maverick freaks out when she won’t leave her house because he cares about her and he wants her to be happy… because she’s his friend and she cares about HIM. and vance is concerned because kim’s upset, kim likes aubrey, and vance likes what kim likes. he’s gotten pretty close with aubrey too because he cares. aubrey cares too. she cares about kim a lot (she has a photo of her by her bedside table!) and so she cares about vance a lot too because kim and vance are really close as siblings so of course they’re all close!!! and charlie’s so concerned she even speaks because she cares for aubrey. aubrey cares for charlie. the kind of concern the hooligans were feeling when aubrey wasn’t okay just proves how much she really brings to the friend group and how much she really matters to them. they care for her BC SHE CARES FOR THEM and she’s a GOOD FRIEND!!! she is a kind person and a good friend! you don’t really see much of it because the game’s all about sunny and kel ends up being sunny’s best friend in the rw (and because of this, headspace as well) cause everything’s so fucked up with everybody. and kel’s just so irritated because he can’t understand aubrey, so i guess it’s easy to see her as just this mean person if you don’t really look past all of that, but she’s not. she’s really not. she misses everybody. she’s kind to others. she wants peace. and she’s genuinely trying to be better she just can’t figure out HOW because nobody’s giving her the grace of listening or even attempting to understand because she doesn’t fit what they deem “normal” or like, the easy version of depressed like sunny or hero where they just rotted. no, she’s complex and her emotions are all over the place because she also had and has other shit going on that nobody cared to learn about. and yet she’s still trying! that’s what she does the whole game! that’s what she did for 4 years when nobody cared to look! even longer than that too, hanging out w the faraway gang when her dad left and her mom was an alcoholic and neglectful. just cause she doesn’t handle things the way everybody else does (she has abandonment issues and anger problems and complicated emotions cough cough bpd what who said that) doesn’t mean she like. ever stops being kind. or ever stops possessing the ability to be a good friend. you just have to look honestly.
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the-kipsabian · 5 months
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igneouswyvern · 6 months
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once you learn how to draw characters in a way you find attractive it's literally all over
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yelloworangesoda · 7 months
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gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this
#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds#im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing#life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something#i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore#i finished. and i hate it#i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here#i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant#it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them#i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just#didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore#ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better#idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu#but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years#and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!!#i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad#i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped#like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this#drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me#not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess#yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well.#i dont like to say the words#simons spouting#vent :(
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feisaru · 2 years
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I have 2 questions: - What got you into Inazuma Eleven and into shipping SaruFei and -What is your MBTI?
I like those two asks a lot! I've been waiting for someone to ask me about it for ages. Thank you!
First, about my MBTI. I am one pretty solid INTJ, I have a tendency to lean towards ENTJ in certain aspects tho. (As a little trivia on the side: I'm interested in MBTI and so have been researching functions etc. for quite some time now)
What got me into IE?
Simple. My brother. Summer 2018, he was always watching that annoying soccer show on TV at our grandparents' house, always asking me to come join him. And you know what? One day, I did, and it was one of the best decisions throughout my entire life. The show (only the first season back then) grew onto me rapidly, especially its lovable characters. Heck, IE had me in such a chokehold that I even played soccer with my brother bc of it. At the very beginning, Afuro was living in my head rent-free. He specifically helped me through some very rough times and I will never forget that. He will always be dear to my heart. I did get "out of" IE at some point for reasons, but I always wound up coming back to it cause turns out, no other franchise has ever quite given me as much comfort as this one. Across the last few years, I've been always returning to it with my thoughts whenever it got especially bad. I'm glad I managed to properly come back to it and have it be a big part of my everyday life (hyperfixation be damned (very lovingly)).
Now, imo, Chrono Stone deserves a honorary mention. The CS game (and later the anime) made me feel approximately ten times better than the rest of IE, and that's something. Long story short, I picked up the game from the store the first time I was into IE right after I had done research and learned that this franchise is actually based on games. There was no other game there, so I thougt this would do, too. Then I didn't touch it until 2021. The reason I started playing it was that I desperately needed to escape reality and CS succeeded at distracting me excellently. Coming home in the evening to open my Nintendo was the single highlight of my day.
How did I become insane over Sarufei?
Good question, anon. I cannot really pinpoint the moment it happened, but I can tell you it was pretty quick. Their first bits together already caught my attention in the most brain-tickling way possible, like this one:
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The CS manga panel where they let Saryuu cry after he lost and Fei reassures him played into that too (I bought the manga solely for that, but turns out it was overall good). I could go on and on about their psychological aspects that spoke to me right off the bat, but I'll spare you that. Before I knew it, I was trying to search out content of them at 3 am on a week day (good content of them is pretty hard to come by with, in my experience at least). My head was really really really full of them, as it is now as well. They're pretty much the reason I picked up drawing & content creating again after years. The first thing I did after I finished playing CS was draw them and create a social media account so I can post it, so I can find someone to talk about them to. I had to channel how unhinged I'm over them somehow. They're also the reason I still keep on drawing. They make so fucking ill and I'm rotating them in my head at all times.
In conclusion, thanks for letting me go wild through text although this is by far not the best thing I've ever written
(I have. So much to say its jarring but sharing my stuff makes me anxious sometimes nonetheless)
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assmundr · 1 day
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Hey you're back on critiquing webcomics! Does that mean you're also going to start posting Crystal Clear again soon???
Oh no, my kryptonite fhfhxdbcjxj
I honestly really don't think so. It's even less likely than me restarting and finishing the Asmundr/Home review video essay.
Two main reasons for that:
1) The story is So. Incredibly. Outdated that continuing it as it is would not be up to my current standard whatsoever and I just wouldn't enjoy telling a story I see as incredibly flawed. I firstly conceived this story when I was like eleven (or twelve) then started to cough it out when I was sixteen. I am now twenty five, twenty six in a few days, and whatever I created when I was a teenager is just not up to my standard today. All the experience, maturity and objectivity that I have today is not what I had back then, so it's lacking severely in a lot of departments. The story would need to be rewritten completely to fit what I'd consider adequate today, which leads me to my second reason.
2) It takes so damn long to do. I am an incredibly slow artist already, burdened with neurodivergence, meaning that I get distracted and burned out so much more easier than other people. A single page could take anywhere from 6-12 hours to make, spread across several days because my ability to focus is akin to an eight year old ipad kid addicted to Cocomelon. I work six days a week and just don't have time to dedicate most of my life to something nobody really cared about anyway. When I was a teenage student? Yeah. When I was unemployed and seeking a job? Yeah. When quarantine was a thing? Yeah. But not right now.
I'm sorry if you were hoping for a positive answer but. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be and CC seems to be one of those things.
I'm still an artist, I draw nearly every day! But the content I focus on is marginally different from what CC is and also only posted in a private circle of friends. Now with the terror of AI scraping hanging above every real artist's head like the Sword of Damocles, I have no real interest in sharing my art publicly.
#This really sounds like I'm just trying to complain how hard and unfortunate my life is fhfhxxbfnc#I'm not trying to do that at all#I'm just saying that working six days a week while in chronic pain AND struggling with adhd and autism just kinda kicks you in the balls#While nobody really cared about the story anyway. Which was also disheartening#I could spend three days on a page and get like three stars and zero comments#Again. I don't wanna sound like I'm complaining about getting no attention#What I am saying is that it feels like I do all that work for nothing when nobody really sees it or cares#Which is fine! Sometimes things just end up that way and I made my peace with it#Plus I don't think I could juggle my current interest (Starcraft) and CC#Because I draw/write daily on a small sever of people that I get a lot of feedback on and who I give feedback to too and engage with too#And it's so much fun bro but it takes up a lot of my time that I really don't wanna take and invest into something-#-that I know won't get nearly as enough engagement as my SC content#Unfortunately I have to choose between two things and if I can I'll pick the one that makes me feel happy and fulfilled#Which currently is my Starcraft AU and not CC#AI scraping is also a part of it. Da has an AI scraping policy and while I know I can glaze and poison my artwork-#-I don't want to constantly do that every single time just to be able to somewhat protect it while it also-#-ruins the integrity of the artwork#Sorry about that one too#Ask
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slutofpsh · 1 month
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strip for me.
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part five | lhs.
pairings: hyungline x reader
synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.
wc: 8k
warnings: smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. this is not proof read.
note: lee heeseung’s solo part. next one will be jay’s. thank you so much for supporting my works and loving strip for me series. also, this doesn’t have heavy smut since i want to show the boy’s affection with reader outside the bed even more. anyway, reblogs and replies are highly encouraged.
part one; two; three; four
slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.
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you got sick the day after. maybe because your body got overwhelmed and didn’t expect that kind of activity. they let you rest for as long as you like until you finally regained your senses.
it was almost 10 pm when heeseung drove you home. both of you silent throughout the drive. heeseung’s glancing at you from time to time, but you refused looking at him.
your mom isn’t really skeptical about it. its also a good thing that she didn’t wonder why the hell did you get sick the day after because you have no idea what will you tell her.
today’s saturday. you skipped school yesterday and just laid on your bed the whole time.
your mind is still occupied by the big question: ‘what are you for those boys?’
they did took care of you that definitely ruin the whole concept of you being their toy and made you confused. the switch up is totally odd as well. they’re always so rude and harsh towards you, then suddenly they went soft and gentle.
that tho, didn’t change the fact that you felt used. (name)’s words kept repeating inside your mind like a broken radio.
a faint knock on your bedroom door snaps you out of you thoughts.
“y/n?” its your mom. “you have visitors. your friends are here.” she announced that draws your brows together.
“friends?” you’re beyond confuse.
nobody ever visited you, and more importantly, what friends? while feeling a little disoriented, you forced yourself out of the bed then faced the mirror once.
the smile on your mother’s face is bright, looking so delighted. she feels excited by this visit she’s referring to, you can tell by how she ushered you down the staircase.
“mom, wait.” you tried calming her down because you can’t think properly on who those friends she’s talking about.
“come on! they’re waiting.” and finally, you made it to the last step then she almost drag you to the spacious living room.
your lips gapped when you saw them dominates the sofa set by the middle. its just the four of them but it seem too crowded. maybe because they’re all so tall and now the average looking sofa looks a bit small for them.
they all whipped their heads on your direction the moment you stepped inside. you cannot exactly tell the look on their faces. your mom smiles and tugs your arm lightly.
“they said they’ve been worried, sweetie. why didn’t you told them that you’re sick?” she pouts.
you blinked, pushing the tears back inside your eyes. its a bit annoying. how you planned to ignore them after what happened and now you can feel your heart warms up just by seeing them here. how all the courage to finally end it dissipates along with your anger for the four fine men in front of you.
its kind of sickening. you find yourself pathetic for actually letting them affect you this way. they make you feel worthless, but at the same time they’re the only ones who can make you feel special.
“i’m s-sorry, it slipped off my mind.” you sniffed and tried to hide the real emotion through a half-smile.
your mom totally bought that reason. she hums and then she can hear a faint ringing from the other side of the house.
“oh! that must be my workmate. i’ll leave you guys here, okay? i will order food for you guys.” she coos and then exits the living room, leaving you alone with them.
their eyes settles at you, flashing with an foreign look on it. that made you feel uneasy so you glanced away.
“sweets,” jake was the first one to approach you closer, reaching for your arm.
his heart sank when you yank it back, declining his affection. he looks surprised and he wanted to try again, but he doesn’t want to push it.
“why are y-you here?” your voice cracks and looked at them one by one.
jay looks concerned, heeseung have his usual calm composure and sunghoon’s brows are furrowed. you can’t tell if he’s mad or worried. he stood up, stopping himself to advance towards you. he doesn’t want to scare you.
“we just want to check on you...” sunghoon says in his softest tone. he licked his lips, blinking multiple times to try and calm himself.
your view of sunghoon got covered when jake steps closer, his brows furrowed hardly and eyes glistening with sadness. his hand hangs mid way, attempting to get in touch of you, craving it.
“we got worried when you skipped class yesterday. we tried to call you, sweetheart.” jake looks desperate. it slightly broke your heart seeing him this way. his mischievous smile long gone.
“but you ignored all of us...” it was jay who talked this time.
you gave him a short glance. the stare stays for a while before you pursed your lips to sigh heavily. chest tightens and mind all messed up.
“what happened, sweets?” jake steps closer.
out of all of them, he’s the most touch deprived. one day without you and he’s all over the place. not to mention that you’ve been ignoring all of them. none of their attempts to contact you became successful and its sending him in distress.
you glanced at him then took a step backward. it pinned him on his position, eyes blank. jake looks in pain, but you looked much worst.
heeseung may seem calm, but behind this composed demeanour is his mind being a mess. he’s in panic. he never seen you this way and honestly he’s not prepared. he gulps and tries to gather himself.
“jake...” he calls his friend to stop him from advancing more.
as expected, he didn’t listen and attempts to take another step but a tear escaping your eye is what halts him from doing so. they never seen you this bothered and terrified before.
“sweets...” jake almost chokes on air when he softly tries to call you.
“p-please leave.” your breaths heavy, and chest painful from thinking that you’ll be ending what you have with them
its messed up. its very wrong. the set up is fucked up, but you can’t deny that you’ve gained more than you lost from this—whatever you call this.
it may sound exaggerated, but you think you saw all of their faces lose color. their eyes flickers fear and shoulders hangs low after hearing what you said.
“s-sweets...” jake’s voice cracks, trying to earn some sympathy. he never done that. he isn’t someone so weak. he always know where he stand and his power he holds over people. but not at the moment, specially not in front of you.
heeseung clenches his jaw to hide his trembling lips. he unclasped his fist, realizing he’s been doing that ever since you’ve walked inside the room.
jay’s in shambles. he doesn’t know what to feel at the moment. he’s always been the nonchalant one. never shown that there’s a weak spot in him. but now that you seem to be slipping away from him, he’s lost. he can feel his heart aching, hands shaking and breaths shorten.
sunghoon’s silent. his eyes never left you, fists balled tightly. he’s cursing himself. for being so ruthless and aggressive. he’s blaming it all to him and his friends. they’re so selfish. and you’re just too perfect. you did nothing wrong. it was all on them.
“y/n,” heeseung licks his lips and this time he trudges closer. jake glances at him, eyes full of hope. maybe his heeseung hyung can fix this mess. he can, right? that’s what echoes inside his mind.
“angel...” he gulps and you noticed how he’s a little off right now. he’s far from the reserve and calm, heeseung you’re used to.
he looks... anxious. the fear and trepidation flashes clearly through his eyes. something you’ve never seen before.
“tell me what’s wrong, hmm? we’ll talk about it.” he says using his calmest tone. “we’ll figure things out.”
that caught you off-guard. if there’s something about these four men have in common is that they love being in control of you. they get off seeing fear and watching you submit to them.
so to hear him saying those words are new for you. talk? will they really listen? what if they just laugh at you if you opened it up to them.
those questions clouded your mind to the point that you didn’t notice jake approaching closer. heeseung wanted to stop him, but he knew there’s no preventing jake from getting close. its either he lets him or he’ll completely lose it.
jake’s warm hands wraps over your wrist is what snaps you back in to your senses.
“sweets...” he calls you. his eyes scanned your face and wait if you’ll resist his affection once again.
he gulps, hope igniting when you didn’t shove his hold off. he took a step closer and this time cups your face. your cheeks warm that sent comfort to jake.
“tell us what’s wrong...” he whispers, pleading. he rest his forehead on top of yours and shut his eyes. “please.” he added.
that made you cry. because you got scared. you’re afraid to confront them because it may end everything.
“what a-am i to you, really?” you started that caught them off-guard.
“y-you guys...” they kept their stares right at your face, waiting attentively to what you’re about to say.
“you treat me like a toy. you’re playing with me like as if i d-don’t have feelings.”
if the scene moments ago hurts them, then this surely broke everything in them. they were silent for a while. reflecting to all the things they’ve done so far to you. yes, they were a little less insolent the other day, but what they did to you probably made you misunderstand it.
jake was the first one to retract, “what? no, sweetheart.” he licks his lips and cares your cheeks gently. he shakes his head continuously.
“we...” he gulps, nervous. he locks his gaze at you and softens, tears brimming his eyes. “i love you.” he blurted out that made you hitch your breath.
that obviously is not what you expected to get from him. specially from jake. he’s the player, always have girls around him. you’ve never heard him say those words to anyone.
your eyes stares right at his desperate ones, trying to search for any traces of mischief over them. but none. sincerity and desperation is all you can see through them.
a warm hand rests at the small of your back then someone rests his forehead at the side of your head. his familiar manly scent invades your nose.
jay’s eyes are tightly closed when you try to glance at him. his jaw clenched hard as his hand bore onto your back.
“i’m sorry if you misunderstood us, baby. that’s not how we want things to escalate.” he mumbles so softly. nuzzling close to you, like as if it will help ease those pain away.
it made you sob. heeseung approaches and his friends gave space for him. he grabs one of your hand and caress it. while staring at your eyes, he placed a gentle kiss on it while the other two boys tries to hugs you. jake’s got his face buries on the crook of your neck, jay remains standing beside you.
“i’m sorry, angel. we...” he couldn’t continue right away. he gulps. “we didn’t know this is how you feel.”
tears streams down your face. continuously. and your chest aches, but this time its for a different reason. you didn’t expect any of these. you imagined them scoffing and laughing at you for actually catching feelings for them. they basically mistreated you.
jake tightens his hug on you, refusing to let go. his warmth envelopes you. jay has his hand placed at the small of your back, caressing it up and down. heeseung has your hand, kissing it from time to time.
the three of them whispered their sorries. they totally feel bad. as your eyes roams around, it caught sunghoon’s.
he’s still standing at his place. didn’t move a step. he’s just there, watching all of this unfold. his heart aches, that’s for sure. he wanted to come close to you too just like how his friends are trying to console you, but his feet are stoned.
he cannot do it. he’s afraid.
out of all of them, he’s the meanest. he says the most hurtful and degrading words towards you. of course, he meant none of them. he’s just caught up in the moment and to the thought of dominating you.
his heart drops at the sight of your tear stained eyes. all those times he’s been rough on you flashes back through his mind like a montage. he hates it. he hates himself.
heeseung whips his head back to look over his shoulder. he can see how sunghoon has his fists balled. how he looked scared. he’s never seen him this way.
“dude.” he calls.
jake lifts his head to look at his friend, jay’s watching too. sunghoon kept silent, his lips shaken.
“h-hoon?” you called him out, now starting to feel worried by how he’s acting.
sunghoon’s eyes stings as it heats up. he knew he’s tearing up, but he won’t let you see him shed tears. not because he’s trying to mask it ouy, but 'cause he knew it will make you even sadder. he’s scared that he will cause more damage.
his eyes met his heeseung hyung and he nods with a small encouraging smile. the four of them grew up together. they’ve known each other their whole life, so he knew why sunghoon’s not approaching.
its not because he’s mad. he’s being careful. and sunghoon’s never been like this towards someone.
sunghoon gulps then take small courageous steps. your eyes watch him carefully, waiting patiently.
when he’s steps away from you, his eyes softens and you saw how his hand trembles when he lifts it to touch you. he backs out, hesitating to lay his hand on you.
“i’m sorry.” he says in a low voice.
it was such a short sentence but the amount of emotion his eyes shows is enought to let you know that he has so many more that he wants to say.
your eyes scanned his face. slowly, you laid your hand out for him. its a way to let him know that its fine and that you allow him to touch you.
his eyes darts at it. he contemplates, but eventually reaches out. your warm hands sent comfort to sunghoon’s cold ones. it gave him life.
“i’m sorry, pretty. w-we’re really sorry.” he mumbles as he buries his face on your neck. his big figure almost covers you up from heeseung’s perspective.
they watch silently. thankful that you’re just too nice to even let them be this close to you. they exchange look to each other and knew they had to do something to make it up to you.
“forgive us, angel. we’ll do better from now on.” heeseung says and rest his big hands on your hip.
you looked at him and kept silent.
honestly, you’ve been thinking of ending it between them. the amount of stress and overthinking you’ve been going through because of them was unhealthy. you promised that after confronting them and if they confirmed that they’re just here for the fun, you’ll bolt out.
but... this is totally a big turn of events.
your lips stretched a little. a subtle gentle smile, but still visible to their eyes are what relieved them.
“okay.”
jake rushes closer and kisses your cheeks multiple times. “really, sweets? thank you! i love you!” he excitedly mumbled between his kisses.
you felt sunghoon’s big strong arms wrapping tightly around your waist.
“thanks, baby. we will try our best.” jay caught your attention when he rest his hand on top of your head, giving it light taps.
the corner of his lips lifts before leaning to kiss you on the lips. “i love you.” he whispers, like he doesn’t want the other boys to hear. like it was only meant for you.
jake steps in, the sulky boy in him coming out. “kiss me on the lips too!” he argues and pouts his plump lips.
jay snorted and swat his arms. you chuckles and lets him lean in for a swift kiss. his eyes sparkling after that smooch.
heeseung’s hands digs on your hip as he leans silently to drop a kiss on your lips. it was soft and lasts for a few seconds. when he pulls away, he remains close and smiles.
“thank you, angel. we’ll be good boyfriends. right?” he says and looks at his friends which they responded with nods.
you blushed, “b-boyfriends?” surprised.
heeseung smirks then nods, “you’re our girl.” he pinches your cheeks lightly. “not some toy.”
sunghoon places a kiss on your neck then pulls away. his eyes bores to you. they glisten affection and relief.
“our pretty girl.” he whispers and dips his head to give you a feathery hot kiss on the lips.
your eyes opens when he pulls away.
“we need to work on our issues in order for this to work. we don’t want another misunderstanding like this.” heeseung announces.
“do you have anything else you don’t like, angel? except from us being total assholes...” he cleared his throat.
your mind wonders. “i d-didn’t like what we did the last time. its o-overwhelming...”
they all looked at you with cute eyes then jay chuckles. “i mean she did passed out that time. her stamina couldn’t handle it.” he says.
heeseung nods, “at least we get to try it once, right?” he smirks, the memories of the night still lingers to his mind.
you blushed and glanced away.
“is that all, angel?”
you look back at heeseung and nodded.
“please stop being aggressive.” you reminded, ears turning red.
they almost cooed at how adorable you looked.
“we promise.” they say almost in unison then approaches for a group hug with you in the middle, making sure they aren’t squishing you too much.
“but we can still do threesome, right?” jake asks innocently that made all of you whip your heads at his direction.
“jake!” they all hissed at him for still being horny despite the wholesome situation that only made you chuckle.
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“hi!” you shyly greets when you saw heeseung outside of your house, leaning over his black audi.
its monday morning and you’re beyond surprise to receive a text message from him saying he’ll be picking you up for school. of course you got excited. this will be the first time.
“good morning, beautiful.” he smirks and snakes his arms around your waist to pull you closer.
your cheeks blushed at his words then stomach churns when he leans in for a kiss. it seems so natural. like this is your usual morning routine.
“get in.” he instruct and even open the door for you.
once inside, he swiftly walks around to ride the driver’s seat. then off you go. it was a short drive, but it isn’t awkward. heeseung’s asking questions from time to time to start a conversation while a low music plays on his radio.
the moment his car enters the parking area designated for the students, you saw familiar boys. jay’s leaning over his car while jake and sunghoon bickers about something.
“oh they’re early.” you mumble because usually you arrive first.
heeseung’s always on time since he’s the school’s president. jay and jake arrives at school just on time. sunghoon’s the one always late, unless he have his morning practices.
their heads whips at your direction once they heard the familiar blaring of heeseung’s car. jake turns his back over hoon then waves like an excited puppy. he for sure cannot see you yet as the car is heavily tinted, but it made you smile. he’s so cute.
he’s on your side of the door once heeseung’s done parking it. he waits until the car’s unlocked and then open it for you.
“sweetheart!” he greets happily then hugs you.
heeseung shakes his head while smirking then unclasped your seatbelt for you as you’re busy greeting jake, returning his hug.
jay and sunghoon walks closer as well then hoon went to grab your things from the backseat. he naturally carries it, letting one strap hangs on his arm.
“hey, baby.” jay greets and placed a kiss on your cheek.
“hi jay.”
“i arrived earlier than both of them!” jake interrupts, proudly letting you know how he’s very punctual today.
“wow, that’s great jakey.” you complimented him and his eyes sparkles.
“yeah, right. you’re so childish.” sunghoon commented before leaning towards you for his kiss.
all of you walks on the hallways together. sunghoon and heeseung’s is a few steps ahead while jake’s beside you telling you about his dog. even showing you her cute pictures and bragging how she’s the smartest dog ever. which sunghoon quickly argues that his dog is much better.
jay’s on your other side, silently listening to his friend’s playful banters. he’s very used to it already and slowly, you too.
curious eyes follows the five of you. there’s a hint of surprise and judgment through them. some are whispering, some just stares with mouth slightly gapped and others just don’t care.
honestly, it bothers you. their eyes carefully watching you is making you uneasy. it felt so weird being watched that it makes you wonder how these boys got used to this.
jake’s warm hand envelops yours that caught your attention. he smiles, his red plump lips distracting you.
“don’t mind them, sweets. they’re just jealous.” he whispers, eyes staring straight at yours.
with blushing cheeks, you blinked twice. “w-why? because i’m with you guys?”
he shakes his head and leans closer, his lips grazing your ears that made your stomach drop. “because you’re ours.”
to say that your face turns red is an understatement. your heart races and he just winks then continues talking about other things.
when you arrived at the classroom, they’re all looking curiously. wondering why these boys are acting this way around you. as far as they remember, they used to bully you around. basically why you end up becoming a loner.
“here, pretty.” sunghoon says and placed your things at the side of the chair. you thanked him and he just smiled before walking to his seat.
jay and heeseung did the same but jake remains near you, pouting hardly.
“can’t i move seats?” he complains.
you chuckle and cares his arm, “go to your seat now, jakey.”
he sighs and wants to lean to give a kiss but stops himself. you did talked about them not to do pda in public or at least when around a lot of people. not everyone is open for this kind of relationship, you just don’t want any issues.
“jake, stop being sulky and sit down.” jay calls him then rolls his eyes.
the said boy just raises his fist and showed his middle finger to his friend. you chuckled and just sat down so jake can go to his chair.
eventually, the homeroom teacher walks inside for morning reminders. she mentioned the upcoming fieldtrip which slightly riles you up. you’re excited to go at the museums and such.
during the breaktime, the boys accompanied you. sunghoon and jake to be specific. the other two are busy on student council so its just the three of you.
“what do you want to eat, doll?” sunghoon asks while pulling a chair for you.
jake’s playing with the edge of your hair while watching you carefully.
“anything is fine.”
hoon nods once, “i’ll order for you.”
“thank you, hoon.” with a smile.
he smirks then squeezed your hand before walking off. jake and you sat down at the table.
“did heeseung hyung told you already?” he starts.
“about?”
“he’s taking you out on a date later.” he says casually while doing something to his phone. his forehead narrows, very focus.
“a d-date?”
he hums, answering your question with a short nod. he’s not looking at you, still hooked to his phone. “where?”
he shrugs, “have no idea.”
your heart hammered just by the thought of going on a date with thee lee heeseung. yes, they did said that they’ll make it up to you and that confirmed your relationship with them, but sometimes it still don’t sink in.
they’re your boyfriends...
your eyes caught the glimpse of what jake’s doing and you got distracted. its a picture of you. that was the first time you saw it.
“is that me?”
jake whips his head at you then smiled, “yes! i’m putting you as my wallpaper.” then he clicked something before locking it and opening the screen to show you.
its a candid picture of you. you forgot when it was, but it was obvious that you’re unaware of him taking that photo. you’re focused on something.
“beautiful, isn’t it?” his smug smirk looked adorable. he cocked his eyebrow once, smirking wider. “that’s my girlfriend.”
you blushed even harder. “stop it.”
he chuckled, finding you adorable. instead of stopping, he stared more intensely making you even more flustered.
“j-jake..” and you glance away.
“fine, i’ll stop.” finally, he glances away, his big grin not wiping off.
sunghoon arrives afterwards and the three of you enjoys the time together before going back to your class.
during your vacant, some of your classmates are doing random things inside the room. you find it a waste to just do nothing and remembered about the history assignment.
you stood up and instantly, four heads whips at your direction. when the bell rang and one of the students announced that it was your vacant, they all naturally gathered around you.
“where are you going?” they almost ask at the same time.
“a-at the library.” you answered, shy that all of their attention is now directed at you. its slowly becoming a habit, but that’s something you will never get used to.
“i’ll go with you.” heeseung was quick to stand up and fix his uniform slightly before carding his soft black hair once.
you gulped, “o-okay...” and your eyes dropped at the three boys who remains sitting down.
sunghoon smiles, “see you later, doll. i’m sleepy.” he reasons then leans over his table.
jay just smiled. jake have this pout on his lips. “i really want to co—” his words got interrupted when jay covered his mouth.
“shut up.”
heeseung covers your line of sight from them then flashes this soft smile. “let’s go?” he says and just like being hypnotized by his gaze, you nod your head.
heeseung ushered you to the library, asking what you’re going there for. once informed about the assignment, he said that he’s already finished with his so he’ll just help you.
you can’t help but to be at awe for this man. can he be more perfect? he’s good in everything.
he find you guys a vacant table and asked you to sit down. he said he will look for the book he used and you thanked him. it didn’t took long before you saw him walking back with a handful of books. strangely, he fits this image well.
you’re in complete trance when he walked closer then placed it on the table. he then started pointing the references he used and told you that you can gather information from those articles then summarize it to your own words.
that was plenty for you. considering it will save you time doing this assignment. with a small smile you thank him then proceed on focusing on the task. heeseung sat beside you and watch how your brows draws closer.
his grin grew wider and fingers starting playing through his lower lip. his stares never left you then it slowly trailed down from your brows to your nose and then lips. those damn lips...
he inhaled and licked his lip, cleared his throat in the most silent way.
now, he went here with you with the most genuine intention of helping you. but then his thoughts are starting to wonder into something... inappropriate.
you did said that you only disapprove of them being mean and aggressive, right? being horny is not mentioned. so you probably won’t mind if he fingers you knuckle deep right now.
god, just by thinking of it, heeseung’s already salivating.
besides, its not his fault that you look so innocent and very pretty looking all serious.
he rests his hand on your thigh that made you jolt in surprise. you blinked twice then turns your head at his direction. he’s giving you this lazy look while biting over his lips.
your chest hammered and stomach churns when he started caressing your thighs gently. making sure you can feel his rough palms rubbing against your exposed skin.
“h-heeseung...”
he raised an eyebrow, “yes, angel?” he asks innocently like as if he’s not doing trailing his hands upwards into your inner skirt.
“w-we’re in the library...” and you roam your eyes trying to check if there’s people near enough to get suspicious of what’s going on under the table.
“exactly. go study.” he says with a grin.
“w-what are you doing? they might see—”
“shh, don’t worry. just be a good girl and do your assignment, okay?” and he leans to drop a kiss on the side of your head, ushering you to continue doing your work.
after staring at him for a while and realizing he ain’t going to stop, you decided to just go with it. besides, you can’t hide the arousing feeling that slowly poisoning your whole system. your head starting to get fuzzy, core getting wet as he started to trace the line of your pussy.
you hummed, teeth sunk onto your lower lip in attempt to stop any moans that wants to come out. “ungh,”
he chuckles sexily, “try to be quiet. we’re at the library after-all.” he whispered.
he pulls his hand out then gave it a lick before dipping it back in. “open your legs for me, please.” he demanded in a very soft tone.
you’re already in deep thoughts, unable to even respond properly and just obliged his dirty desires. once he have a better access, heeseung pushes your underwear to touch you bare.
his fingers are hot and rough. feels so good. he started on your clit, rubbing it in a very delicious way.
“fuck, you’re so wet.” he curses, enjoying how your face contorts out of pleasure. pleasure that he’s currently giving you.
“h-hee..” you calls him.
he smirks, loving the way you’re so needy for his fingers.
“all right, i'm going in angel. focus on your assignment.” he stated like as if its even possible to do that. but you tried to pull yourself together. heaved a sigh then looked at the books in front of you. none of the words made sense, but that’s not important.
your mouth slightly gaps as he inserted one finger inside you. the stretch felt so good it makes you want to moan loudly.
“shh.” he reminded, chuckling.
he’s enjoying it. he’s loving it as much as you’re loving being finger fucked.
he didn’t stopped and put another finger. he let it rest inside, trying to take time feeling your tightness around his long fingers. he wants to imagine it to be his dick and he bet it will feel heaven. he shove that thought right away, he needs to focus on you.
“you’re so tight around me, angel.” he whispered huskily. “even after being fucked by all of us, you’re still so fucking tight.” he started talking in nasty way.
the way he say it in a calm tone just hits in a different way. you gulped and breath out, calming yourself.
“p-please.”
he smirks and gave you another kiss on the side of your head. he started moving his fingers that almost sent your soul out of your body. the way his fingers moved in and out in your tight hole just feels perfect.
he continues, slowly catching his pace that just added to your pleasure. one of your hand grips over his thighs, squishing it that he quickly find adorable.
“how i wish its my tongue inside that hole, angel.” he says that he truly means.
you whimpered lowly and tried to keep your eyes open. the words on the book starting to became blurry. it went on for a while until you feel a knot forming on your stomach. a sign that you’re already close.
“heeseung...” you calls out.
he chuckles then rutt his fingers even faster making you whimper softly. you glance at him and he already knew that you’re close. from the way your eyes are half-lidded and teeth digging unto your lips, you are definitely about to release.
he fucks deeper and just a few moments after you came to his fingers, head hanging low and grip over his thighs tightening. you shake lightly that made him chuckle, leaning his head closer to kiss you by the head.
“you did so well.” he complimented then kept on thrusting in and out in a slow pace, helping you ride your high.
once you calmed down, he pulls it out making you wine. he stares at you then shamelessly took his fingers over his lips to suck it. your eyes grew and cheeks blushed hardly.
“heeseung!”
he smirks, “i deserve a reward, don’t you think?” then he winks at you making you lose your mind. he’s going to be the death of you.
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“bye baby.” jay smiles and kisses you gently before moving away to give way for sunghoon. he’s already holding his helmet by one of his hand.
“bye, pretty.” he says with a playful grin over you.
you smiled before pouting, “please drive safely.”
his eyes soften after what you said and leans in again for another kiss. “i will, i promise.”
you nodded and a sulking jake came into your view.
“bye sweets.” he says half-heartedly that made you chuckle then insisted for a kiss just to ease his bad mood.
sunghoon rolls his eyes then grabbed his sulking friend by his uniform and drag him out of there. jake complains and started to argue, but jay helped to drag him away.
heeseung sighs and snaked his arm over your waist, “let’s go?”
you glance at him then nod your head once before going to his car. he opened the door like always and guides your inside.
“where are we going?”
he glances, “i’m taking you to our small vacation house by the lake.” he smiles.
you smiled back, “hmm. okay.”
“i called your mom and told her i’ll get you home a little late.”
“you called her?” you’re surprised he even remembered telling it to her.
“yes. i don’t want her to be worried or get you in trouble.” he says while eyes fixed at the road.
you pout your lips and looked at more with so much adoration. that was so sweet of him. you can feel your heart races and butterflies going crazy inside your stomach.
heesueng notices your stares and chuckles, “why?”
you shake your head, “its just you’re so sweet. it makes my heart melt.”
his smile grew wider, totally proud that he made you feel more special.
“anything for you.”
he said it will took a bit time to get there so you guys went to drive thru so he can buy some food you can eat while on the way. while on the way, you naturally fall into conversations, giggling and teasing each other.
it feels so good. heeseung used to be very intimidating for you. his serious demeanor and the way he seems so calm about everything just makes you feel agitated around him. but eventually, he starts to feel warm. like someone you can entrust yourself fully. they all feel that way, honestly. but heeseung’s the most reliable one, you must admit.
when he noticed your eyelids looking heavier, he chuckles and told you that you can sleep for a while.
“but how about you?” feeling a little bad that you’ll leave him driving.
he smiles assuringly, “i’ll be fine, angel.”
and with that you slowly dozed off. he lets you sleep until you’re already pulling over the driveway of their small vacation house. its not particularly small. its actually above average, but maybe for people like him who probably have many vacation houses, this is small for him.
“careful.” he mumbled and quickly reaches for your hand when the rocky path greets you.
the house is very cozy and simple. the clear view of the lake can be seen from the big glass windows. it was beautiful.
“you can go roam around while i set our food inside the fridge.” heeseung says then kisses you at the head before heading to the kitchen.
your eyes wanders around with curiosity and admiration. everything looks expensive. your eyes darted at the table filled with picture frames. with full curiosity, your feet trudges closer.
“wow...” was the first word that came out from your mouth. you can see pictures of their family. his dad and mom. him and his older brother.
“cutie!” you exclaimed when you saw heeseung’s baby picture. he does resembles him that you can tell right away that it was him.
your smiling ear to ear then fished your phone to take a snap of that pic. after getting satisfied with your shots, you slowly head over the small balcony where you can see the lake.
“wow, its so refreshing.” you mumble under your breath then leaned over the railings, letting the wind blow onto you.
you jolted when a pair of arms wrapped over your waist. “enjoying the view?”
“y-yes.”
heeseung kisses your cheeks then place his chin on your shoulder. the two of you admired the view while holding that position. the breeze is kind of cold, but heeseung’s hug kept you warm.
“do you want to walk around for a bit before we start dinner?” he asks then finally pulls away.
your eyes sparkles, “yes!”
he chuckles, finding you adorable then leans down. “give me a kiss first.”
your cheeks blushed then blinked twice. the two of your stares at each other for a while until you decided to give in to his request. a big satisfied smile spread across his handsome face then stand back up.
“let’s go.” and he intertwined your fingers.
looking at the lake in a much nearer distance gave you comfort and peace. you never thought watching the soft currence while holding heeseung’s warm hands can make your heart race.
“do you know when i started liking you?” heeseung breaks the silence.
you craned your neck to glance at him, eyes flashing curiosity. “when?”
he stares at your for a while before chuckling lightly then pinching your cheeks.
“you look adorable, but i have to resist. come on, try to guess.”
his compliment and how he said that using his softest tone soothes something in your heart. it made you blush instantly. despite all of it, you tried to guess like how he requested.
“when you started this thing with me?” that was the first one that came in your mind.
you barely remember any interaction with lee heeseung before all of this.
his brows narrowed, “this thing?” he sighs. “relationship, angel. that’s how you call it properly.” he says using a salty tone.
you chuckled and just nods as acknowledgement. he kept his stares, his eyes returning to being gentle and full of affection. a small genuine smile then appears over his lips.
heeseung’s out of words to describe how precious you are for him. he’s usually good on saying the things he wanted to say, but with you his thoughts are starting to be messed up. there’s just so much he wanted to say yet he don’t know where to start.
“it was on seventh grade.” he stated that made your lips gap.
7th grade? but you’re already on eleventh grade. still surprised, you cannot say anything.
“during that time i experienced my first loss. it may be nothing for a normal high-school kid, but for someone who comes from a perfectionist family who doesn’t accept defeat, it is a pretty big deal.”
instantly, you feel slightly bad. of course, you’ve heard about his family. they are pretty strict when it comes to him. maybe that’s why he’s very reserved because he has no time for failure. they’ve put too much pressure on him.
your free hand extends and travels from his arm towards his neck, up to his face. slowly, he relaxes to your touch.
“i remember feeling so worthless while staring blankly at my silver medal.” he resumes telling you the story.
“while i stare with despair at it, already imagining the disappointed look from my father, someone approaches me.” he stops.
“guess who?” he smirks. “i'll give you a clue.” then smirk grew wider.
“she’s very pretty and currently holding me softly right now.”
“me?” you wonder.
he nods. “you were pretty amazed at my silver medal.” he states, a big smile on his face now.
just the emotion he was showing was enough to tell how delighted he is by reminiscing that moment.
“i was actually annoyed at first because i thought you were mocking me.” he chuckled and you pout jokingly.
“hey, you’re so judgemental.”
he shrugs his shoulders. “can’t blame me, angel. i was still very introverted that time.”
“you’re still a little introvert now.”
he cocked his eyebrow and you did the same thing, staring back. that made him chuckle.
“okay, maybe you’re right.” he surrenders then drop a kiss on your forehead.
“and then what happened?” you curiously asked.
he smiled. “then i told you harshly that what’s so great for second place?” he continued.
you grow silent then tries hard to recall the memory.
“and then you said,” you glanced at him, eyes starting to water a bit.
“that there’s nothing wrong with being second place. that it doesn’t mean that you failed or you didn’t won. that instead of being sad, you should take it as a chance to become better. that it only means you still have a room to grow.” you finished it that made him smile.
“right...”
“hee...” eyes brimming with tears already. “that was years ago.” you stated, couldn’t believe that he started to get interested that time.
his eyes dropped at your intertwined hand and he raised it to gently place a kiss on top of it.
“hee...” you mumbled again, this time voice cracking a little.
he smiles, “sorry if we approached you the wrong way. we just really don’t know what to do.” his eyes sparkles, getting a bit teary as well.
“i-it’s okay... i didn’t know.”
he chuckles, “obviously. you’re too dense to notice.”
“hey!” you playfully shoot him glares that he just laughed at before leaning in to give you a kiss.
the two of you stared at each other affectionately, enough to communicate what your hearts wants to tell one another.
“i know that with all the responsibilities and the expectation from your parents, it felt heavy. like you feel that you can’t be flawed.” you started.
“but for me you’re just perfect the way you are. with your achievements and failures.” those words tugs his heartstrings, a tear escaping his eye.
the moment you two steps inside the vacation house, heeseung’s lips are attached to you. his kisses are gentle yet passionate. his hands holds you closely to his hot body.
his kisses moves from your lips, down to your chin then neck making sure to suck on your skin making you moan, fingers tangled on his hair.
he slid his arm over your legs then carries you towards the bedroom. he went back to your lips and kisses you once again.
he gently placed you on the bed hovering above you, his hand starting to remove your clothes. and you let him.
when he pulls away, you try to even chase him that made him chuckle.
“wait, angel. i’ll just remove my clothes.”
your eyes trailed down his now erect member.
“d-do you want me to...?”
he smiles then shakes his head, “no. today, its just about you.”
then he kisses you again, resuming on discarding every clothing that you still have on you. once fully unclothed, he positions himself in front of you. he started rubbing his head on your now wet core.
your brows narrowed and whimpers sexily.
“i’ll go in now, okay?” he glanced at you and a nod is all you gave him.
and while your eyes staring back at each other, heeseung pushes his dick inside. the stretch feels so good, his thick cock making you moan his name. it made him satisfied, hearing you getting comfortable on letting out your moans.
“that’s right, let me hear you.” he whispered then pinned your hand on the sides, intertwining his fingers to yours.
he lets you get more comfortable with having him inside and connects his lips on yours again, couldn’t get enough of your lips. his tongue pushes in, wanting to taste every insides of your mouth.
when he started to move, your head starts to get blank. nothing inside but the man above you and making you feel this good.
he slides in and out. starting with a slow pace then going faster. he thrusts deep and fast sending so much pleasure.
“heeseung...” you moaned after his lips moves away.
“i love you, angel.” he suddenly said that made your heart jumped. you didn’t have the chance to say anything as he leans in for a peck.
“i love you so damn much.” and then start thrusting even faster.
“i...” you pursed your lips, eyes shuts as the pleasure from his dick takes away your ability to think and speak properly.
“i..” you attempted again, opening your eyes so you can look at his pretty face.
“love you too...” you finally finished it.
heeseung’s heart thumped faster and he fucked you even harder. he smiles and leans in for another heated kiss. he loves and adore you.
he continues drilling his cock inside until he felt you tightening around him, indicating the approaching release. he kisses your chin.
“cumming for me, angel?”
you open your mouth, “yes. feel so good.”
he smirks, “i know. pussy so good for me.” and then he rut his cock deeper.
“i’m cumming too..” he announces, feeling the knot on his stomach.
“cum with me.” he orders then attach his lips before going rapidly.
not long after you came around heeseung then he filled you with his hot cum. he pulls away to look at your fucked out face, brushing off some hair. he smiles.
“i love you.” he whispers, still going in and out but in a slower pace. riding both your highs.
you opened your eyes and reaches for his face. this time, you lift your head to give him a sweet kiss with a smile on your face. then you laid back down, staring lovingly at him.
his thrust starts to go faster again and a playful smirk spreads across his handsome face, some of his hairs sticks on his forehead due to sweat.
“round two, angel.” and then you let out a whimper from both pleasure and overstimulation.
the two of you spent the rest of the time just going for each other. heeseung making sure you felt how special you are for him.
lee heeseung is scared of failing. always aiming to be the best and to be perfect. he’s too obsessed on pleasing his parents to the point that he almost lose himself. but with you, he felt at ease. he felt safe and confident knowing that despite all his flaws and just being his true self, he’s still admirable.
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variuss-petals · 1 year
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spending a lot of time making something and then no one buys it or even looks at it, like what’s the point in even trying, you know, like, what
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d0rothydraws · 5 days
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After a night out things get heated and Sylus can't control himself, revealing a new side of him.
content: f!reader, monster cock, porn without plot, public sex, multiple orgasms, Inappropriate use of Evol, after care, just a lot of smut idk
w/c: 3.7k
Ao3: Here
a/n: This took so long i'm so sorry works been wearing me out so much I haven't been able to post much. I hope this satisfies all the monster fuckers that wanted this from my one post.
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Tonight had been.. A lot. You and Sylus were at a dinner banquet. Apparently a very important man was hosting the event and Sylus was looking for information about something. You didn’t really know or ask. You don’t really ask many questions these days. Sylus had custom fit you one of the most beautiful dresses you had ever seen. It was made of the softest silk, the neckline was low yet tasteful, showing enough to catch some looks but not enough to feel exposed. The skirt had a high slit that went to the top of your hip, exposing your leg once in a while. As you walked, the long skirt looked like it was flowing around you like water. You wore matching blood red heels that looked like they were carved out of ruby. The light catching them in a mesmerizing way. Your hair was done in a way where it framed your face, pulled in an updo that bounced slightly every time you took a step. And on your neck was a crow pendant embedded with a ruby. 
To say it simply, you looked beautiful. Elegant. 
And Sylus couldn’t keep his eyes, or hands, off of you.
As you walked, his hand was draped around your waist, hand on your hip. Or his hand was on your lower back, or when you sat his hand was on your thigh, fingers drawing patterns that sent a chill down your spine. He looked at you from the corner of his eye, meeting yours once in a while. You almost could feel the hot breath that left him when this happened, exhaling every time as if he was trying to control himself. 
You couldn’t lie, it felt good to see him like this. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what you would look like in the dress, it was custom fit, custom designed just for you. He had seen it on you before. And yet when anyone looked over at you, giving you just the smallest bit of attention, you felt his hand tighten, body pulled closer. Your hip flush against his. You could feel heat radiating from his body.
Part of you wondered if he was going to end up dragging you into the bathroom. A couple times you thought he was considering it, especially as his hand moved to the inside of your thigh halfway through the banquet. His rough fingers trailed higher, brushing against your panties. He leaned over whispering in your ear, his voice thick as honey. 
“You look delicious.” His words sent a shiver through your body as your hand tightened on the fork you were holding. You looked around, everyone was talking about something you didn't understand. Nobody knew what was happening under the table. And in a bold decision, you parted your thighs just a little bit more. Moving your hips to press against the fingers that were tracing your folds through your panties. You heard his breath catch, his hand pausing for only a second, Sylus’ lips returned to your ear. 
“Try not to squirm too much, kitten. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold back.” He said as his fingers dipped under the fabric, calloused fingers grazing the sensitive skin. You took a bite of food to hide a moan, your face red as a shaky breath left your lipsticked lips. You wanted nothing more than to ride his hand. To throw all caution to the wind and thrust your hips against his fingers until you were clenching and twitching around him, begging for more. 
And suddenly, his hand was gone. Your disappointment must have been audible because he chuckled, bringing his finger to his lips. Swiftly he liked them as if he was licking off a stray drop of sauce that fell onto his hand. You caught the look in his eye as his right eye started glowing slightly. Glancing down you seen the red and black tendrils of his power snake its way around your leg. It felt warm and you tried to not shiver or make a sound as you felt the weight of it move between your thighs. Your panties pushed to the side and as a reflex you tried to close your legs. The tendrils pushed your legs back open gently, like a pair of hands and as you felt the warmth against your core, you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching a hand out, putting it on Sylus’ thigh, nails pressing into the thick meat. 
It felt as if it was Sylus himself between your thighs, just a different version. The feeling was like a warm tongue licking at you, lapping up every bit that you provided as you tried your damndest to not moan, or at least, too loud. You never felt anything like this before. You almost forgot you were in public until you heard his voice in your ear again. 
“Quiet, kitten. You’ll get caught.” His voice was low, strained. A rush of adrenaline flooded your veins as you choked back a whine. The energy pushed inside you, curling exactly where you needed it. Licking your sensitive, throbbing clit. Your hand on his thigh tightened, nails digging in more making him give a low groan deep in his throat. 
“Sylus-” You said, trying to be quiet, but the sound was choked out. Your breathing was heavy, face red and eyes were starting to get glossy. “I can’t. P-please, I-” You let out a choked gasp, louder than you wanted as your orgasm rushed through you. You clenched around the thick mass of energy inside you as you panted, blushing so dark that you probably matched your dress. A few people turned to look, eyebrows raised in curiosity as they saw your out of breath expression. 
“We will be taking our leave now.” Sylus said, the energy around your lower half dissolved as if it never happened. Your legs felt numb as you tried to steady your thoughts, your heart pounding and blood rushing. Your body moved on its own as Sylus stood, as if being willed by him to follow. You had no complaints about this, your anticipation was as high as ever to get him alone. His hand was firm on your lower back giving you much needed support as you walked to the car.
The drive home was quiet but the tension was thick. His body was tense as he pulled into the driveway and before you could even open the door, the red-black tendrils of energy embraced you again. Your body was moved by a force you couldn’t fight even if you wanted to. A thrill ran through your body. He had never used his Evol on you like this before. 
You were placed in the middle of the bedroom, Sylus following you through the door as his eye glowed. His hands in his pockets as he looked at you with a hunger you never saw from him before. You let out a slow breath, feeling the energy dissolve into the air as he towered over you, a hand moving to your chin. 
“Sweetie, you almost made me lose control, looking like that in public. It’s dangerous, you know.” He said, fingers trailing your skin as his other hand trailed down the curve of your waist, admiring the figure hidden under the dress he picked out. 
“I guess you could say I had a good stylist.” You said with a half laugh, he chuckled, a low sound that warmed your core. His hand moved behind your neck, fingers making quick work of the tie that held the light dress on your body. With a flick of his fingers, the fabric fell to the floor around your feet. Your hand moved to his chest, trailing up to wrap around his tie. 
The tension broke as you pulled him down into a rough kiss, one of his hands curled in your hair while the other moved to your hip. He guided you as you felt the bed hit the back of your legs, one of his legs coming to rest on the edge of the bed as you fell back. His kiss was hot, hungry. Teeth bite your lip, tongues pushing against each other as your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. He took your hand from his tie, his fingers wrapping around yours as he pinned it above your head. 
“Do you trust me?” He breathed in your ear as he pulled back, panting softly. You could feel the hardness of his cock against your thigh, straining his pants. You arched your hips up to apply some pressure, making him groan. You knew there was only one answer to his question.  
“Yes.” 
The grip on your hand tightened as it was pushed harder into the soft mattress, his other hand moved to your face bringing your lips to his as he kissed you. Slow, deep. Different from the kiss you just had. You felt hot breath on your cheek as he breathed out through his nose asif he was holding his breath waiting for your answer. In turn, the kiss took your own breath away as you pulled back, your lips slightly red from how he bit your lip as you pulled back. His fingers traced the outline of your lower lip as his eyes stared down at you, red orbs swirling.
“Darling,” His voice made a low sound as his eyes looked into you. A serious look that brought you back to reality for a moment. He didn’t give you that look often.  “I’m not sure if I'll be able to hold back tonight.” Sylus sounded just as breathless as you felt. “If you need me to stop at any point, tell me. Promise me.” He said, the hand on your cheek gently tracing the skin under his fingers. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Your heart fluttered as you looked up at him. Your cheeks flushed as you took a deep breath, processing his words. 
You two had a safe word. It was well established when you started becoming physical. There was one time you did have to use it, not because of anything horrible but you weren’t in the right mindset for what he had planned that night. So instead of putting yourself through it, knowing that he wouldn’t want you to do that, you said it. He stopped instantly followed by a warm bath, snacks, and your favorite show. 
“I promise.” You breathed, looking into his eyes as he stared down at you. There was something that you couldn’t tell, that you never had seen before. “I trust you, Sylus.” You whispered, bringing your free hand to pull him into a slow kiss that matched the last one. You put your whole soul into that kiss, as if hoping he would understand just how much you cared for him. How without a thought you would put your life in his hands, knowing damn well that he would do the same for you. 
As the kiss continued, the energy began to change. Once soft and gentle was becoming something more. His lips were hot, hungry as he straddled your hips. His clothed cock grinded against your thigh making your body twitch and shiver with need. His hand on your face became rougher, holding your jaw firmly as his kiss devoured you. He pulled away with a soft growl, licking his lips. 
“You’re like a drug to me.” Sylus said as his hands moved to pull at his clothes, buttons unfastening to reveal his chest. Your mouth started to salivate at the sight.  Your hands moved up to help him, guiding your palms over the surface of his skin. Sylus let out a low sound, watching you as you made your way to his belt. He didn’t stop you as you undid the fasten. The sound of metal was loud in the room as it fell from its hold as Sylus pulled the belt and tossed it on the floor. 
His lips were on you again. Hungry, hot. You felt your breath be taken from your lungs as your hands were pinned above your head. His tongue pushing into your mouth, devouring you whole. He pulled away with a low growl, looking down at you, his eyes dark and his lips red from the kiss and the stain of your lipstick. 
“Roll over kitten.” Sylus purred as he let go of your hands and instantly you followed his direction. You felt the slick of your arousal as you moved, making your need even more known to you as you turned. Now with your ass to him, arched as your cheek laid against the pillow. You felt his fingers wrap under the lace of your panties, pulling them down to your knees. You looked over to him, your view obstructed but still managed to match his eyes. 
No words needed to be said, both of you needed the same exact thing and he wasn’t in a mood to tease you, at least not at the moment. His hands worked on his pants, letting them fall to the floor as he stood off of the bed, his boxers following. Your mouth watered, moaning into the pillow at the sight of him. Hard, dripping. His hand wrapped around his cock, pumping slowly as his thumb brushed against the angry red head. You felt your pussy clench as if trying to draw him in. He was beautiful. He didn’t even look human. No human could be this beautiful. 
As he climbed back onto the bed he wasted no time in positioning himself. He kissed your back, one hand on himself to adjust while the other was on your ass, sinking into the soft flesh. He kissed your back again before speaking into your ear, his voice was rough, deep.
“Remember our promise?” He whispered, his voice strained. Reminding you that you would use the safe word if you needed. You felt his tip slide against you, eager for the final confirmation. You nodded into the pillow, shifting your hips as you grinded against him. He groaned, the hand on your ass getting rougher as he held you still. 
He began to push into you slowly. You felt your body stretch to accommodate him, your moan loud as your body felt like electricity was pulsing through your veins at the feeling. Fuck he always felt so good. So thick, so heavy inside you. Your eyes rolled as he bottomed out his hands gently rubbing your back, your ass, the back of your thighs. He waited a moment, his breath strained as he tried to contain himself. But as he started to thrust it was a lost cause. 
You cried out moaning as he pulled out, thrusting back in. Your body shook as you felt him fuck you, his thrusts started to get faster the louder you moaned as if the sound of your cries edged him on, which was very much the case. You tightened around him, gasping as you felt his hand coming to rub against your clit, his rough thumb brushing the sensitive skin. 
“You sound so beautiful darling. Let me hear how you sound as you cum on my cock.” He purred in his ear. His voice sounded.. Different. Deeper somehow, more primal, needy. It drove you wild. You moaned gasping as you moved your body against him, fucking yourself on his cock while he pressed his thumb against you. You felt the sensation take over your body as Sylus hit that spot inside you that made you cry out and see stars. Your orgasm flowed through you as your pussy fluttered and clenched around him, pushing him to the brink as he filled you with his hot cum. 
You caught your breath, your forehead sticky with sweat as you felt your body tremble from the release. Sylus on the other hand, was still inside you. Cock hard, twitching as if he didn't just cum inside you. His hands gripped your hips, his lips moving to your back as he kissed your sweaty skin. You could hear his heart pounding, as fast as ever. 
“I’m not done with you yet, sweetie. That was a warmup.” He said as he started to thrust again, slowly at first. Your body shivered and moaned at the sudden movement, sensitive from your orgasm as he stated to fuck you. You felt his cum inside you, being fucked deeper. You blushed gasping, your head spinning with pleasure. 
As he fucked you, you swore his hands on your hips felt larger. His nails were digging into your skin as if they were talons. Not cutting into you, but more noticeable than before. You gasped, your mouth opening against the pillow, eyes widening as you whimpered. 
“Sylus!” You cried out as you felt your pussy stretch more than before. You felt his cock, which was already big and thick, get even bigger. The girth stretching you out more to the point your legs were shaking. You felt him hit places inside you you didn't even know existed. You felt tears fall from your eyes, sure it hurt a little but god you never felt so good in your life. You felt his tongue lick up your spine, long, thick. His mouth moved to your ear, sharp teeth nipping the skin. You could hear your heart pound. What was he? How did he become… like this? 
“Wow kitten, you took me so well.” Sylus purred. He wasn’t even moving yet and you were a whimpering crying mess. “I bet you love being stretched out on my cock like this, don’t you? I’m not even moving and it feels like you’re about to cum again.” He teased as you felt a rough, larger than normal thumb brush against your clit. “Careful, if you do, you might boost my ego. I could get addicted to this.”
Your head spun as you whimpered and moaned. You couldn’t see him. Even if you tried to turn, he was pressed against your back. But he wasn’t wrong. You were close. So agonizingly close that when he touched his thumb to that damn spot between your legs it was instant. You cried out, clenching around him and he hissed at the feeling. His cock twitched inside you as he felt you cum on his cock from nothing more than just being inside you. Filling you up completely. Stretching you to your limit to the point you weren’t sure if you’d be able to walk later. 
“Good girl. You’ve been such a good girl for me, haven’t you?” Sylus purred into your ear as he started to move. Your eyes widened as you cried out, hands clawing at the bedsheets as you felt how massive he truly had become now that he started moving. Your legs shook as you struggled to keep yourself propped up on your knees. His hands came to grab your hips as you whimpered and moaned mindlessly into the pillow. His hands felt so big, so strong. He had always been strong but this was different, otherworldly. He held you exactly how and where he wanted you as he began to fuck into you. Your body bounced and shook as if you were a ragdoll. 
“That’s it, sweetie, just like that. You’re a perfect little slut for me, aren’t you. Taking anything I give you, no matter how big. You’ll stretch your tight little pussy for me, won’t you?” Sylus growled in your ear and you gasped, eyes rolling back at his words. You couldn’t control the sounds coming from your lips, or the drool that spilled out onto the silk pillowcase. You couldn’t stop the loud needy whimper at the things he said to you. His nails pressed into your soft flesh as he continued to ravish you. 
His thrusts started to get unsteady as he panted, one hand groping your ass as the other curled into your hair, turning your face for him to kiss you. His long tongue forced its way into your mouth, his teeth were sharper but it felt more like fangs now that you could feel him better. You opened your eyes for a second, catching a glimpse to see that he looked normal. As he pulled away and opened his eyes though, you noticed how both eyes were glowing red. It looked like orbs of the red mist of his Evol flowing inside his eyes. It was beautiful. If you weren’t getting your brains fucked out you would have more time to appreciate it. 
The hand returned between your thighs, drawing circles against your sensitive nub. As he felt you twitch and whimper, his hand continued until he pulled another orgasm out of you. Your scream was muffled by the pillow but the sound made him take in a sharp breath. Even when he was like this, the sounds you made affected him more than you could ever know. You felt as his cock twitched, his thrusted uneven before he came inside you. The feeling was different than before. It was thicker and it felt like there was more than usual. You gasped, moaning as you felt him thrust a few more times, the thick globs of cum running down your thighs. 
Slowly, you felt him begin to pull out. Your body was too weak and tired to turn around and look at him but that was the last thing on your mind right now. You didn’t care what form he took. He was still yours. And you were still his. You felt him shift around you, his arms pulling you into his chest as he kissed your head. The smell of him flooded your senses as a sense of calm you never felt before came over you. 
His hands were so gentle as he carefully checked for marks and scratches. You felt a warm cloth on your thighs. A cold bottle of water pressed to your lips. You opened your mouth and the bottle tipped so gently. His hands were still on you, gently touching and caressing you. As you opened your eyes gently you saw the oh so familiar black and red mist surrounding you. Cleaning you, giving you water. You felt a kiss on the top of your head as Sylus pulled you closer. 
“Relax, kitten. You’ll need to recover. I’ll take care of everything.”
~•~•~•~
some people on my post asked to be tagged or really seemed to want this so here u guys go i hope you dont mind the tag
@lunacielooo @in-too-deepspace @sefynarose
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