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anotherghoul666 · 2 years

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Oh no :( sleep token seems to have awoken something else in me. What is it about watching masked, menacing figures appreciate each other on stage that’s so addictive? Gahhh

So I'm pretty sure this was a thirst ask which, so valid anon, my own thirst for Vessel has hit me like a truck, and I could leave it at that or answer with a joke, but! I am me, I over-analyze and over-intellectualize shit, and you asked what it was about him that's addictive, so here we are. On today's episode of "AnotherGhoul takes a simple asks and turns it into a whole damn essay": masks, monsterfucking and stage personas, or why Vessel from Sleep Token is hot (with a nod to Ghost). For me*. I'll add, why he captivates me*, because everyone's thought process and erotic sources are different, but maybe you'll recognize yourself in something I describe here! Under a read more because I went WAY OVERBOARD WITH THIS XD

Option 1: the mask kink So, I've had a mask kink for a long time. I've had a name for it for maybe a decade. I got to wear my first full masks in an arousal context maybe around 2014-2015. I acquired my first mask in 2019 for play. I jumped in the puddle with both feet within the past two years or so in terms of wearing masks and making people wear masks. But I can also remember early memories when I was a kid of being very very very drawn to masked characters in cartoons or video games, so I'd say my propensity for them has been there for the vast majority of my life.

Masks do it for me because I highly eroticize the removal of human features or aspects. I find the consensual removal, or giving up, of humanity extremely exciting. Think, removal of speech through a gag or a simple rule, so that one of the main things that make us human, language, cannot be used during play. Or objectification, where a human would be made into an object consensually, or treated like one, be it playing a chair, a foot rest, a table, a decoration, a sex toy, etc. I enjoy the idea of a human, with its dignity and morals, consenting to being used like a mere disposable piece of plastic. The removal, blurring or limitation of core human features turns me on.

So it's easy to see why masks in general do it for me. It erases the human facial features, or replaces them with artificial features, to different degrees depending on which mask is chosen. It makes someone look less human. It separates the human from the object. Inside a mask, any micro-expressions you make don't matter. You may make a face or try to signal an emotion but that's not gonna translate. You cannot appeal to anyone's empathy from within a mask. From the outside, all the other person sees is the flat planes of the mask that don't move or change or adjust with the wearer's emotions. There is no expectation of being able to "read" a face when it's masked. No pressure to figure out the right expression and meaning. Which is probably comforting for me in terms of my neurodivergence and my difficulty with reading facial expressions in the first place. The mask doesn't move. There's nothing to read.

Now, I also know, for neurotypical people specifically, apparently masks are super hot because of the accent on the eyes. Your typical mask will have lessened facial features but slits or openings for the eyes, so the person inside can see. Naturally your gaze will glide on the featureless face and find the eyes. For NTs, whose brains are made to read people's eyes, "the eyes are the window to the soul" and all that jazz, eyes are often a person's most attractive feature. A mask accentuates someone's strongest and most unique trait. I don't subscribe to that. I prefer masks to dehumanize, not draw attention to the humanity under. The masks I find the hottest will have very little sight possible inside (added sensory play aspect here) and from the outside, covered eyes or weird eyes, as long as I don't get to see much of the wearer's eyes, it gets bonus points.

Which leads me to Vessel's mask. Inhuman face shape, check. No mouth (assumed no speech), check. No nose, check. In this case there are eyes, but there are six, not two, which I find very hot because of the monster aspect I'll speak about later, but also, they're covered inside. There's a mesh inside that allows him to see out, but we can't see in. So, no eyes, check. There is nothing for me to grasp there, nothing for me to read. My eyes glide and slide over the smooth surface of the mask with nowhere to grab onto. It's an endless search, so my brain can stop searching for clues, and that's relaxing. He could smile, he could be furious, he could cry, he could be uninterested, I'd never know. All I see is a mysterious face, the erotic appeal of anonymity on full display, the lack of humanity, the removed features. It's a 10/10 mask for me. (I like his stage mask less because of the cut out mouth, but I understand 100% the need for his mouth to be uncovered and unrestrained because the man has PIPES and he couldn't sing to the full extend of his abilities while hindered.)

(All of this applies to the Ghost masks too. Imma dip into Ghost because this remains a Ghost-centric blog. But like, the masks are a huge part of why I write what I write, and why I find the ghouls so hot. The shiny, smooth surface of the masks. The replacement of all the musician's unique features for an ensemble of pre-determined uniform fake features. The lack of individuality. The lack of names. The dehumanization. Some masks show more eyes than others, some masks have more mouth space or show nose more than others, but all the eras still appeals to a degree.)

Option 2: teratophilia Another thing I eroticize a lot is monsters / inhuman monstrous creatures. That would be known as teratophilia, the sexual attraction to monsters, or monsterfucking as it's been popularized online. It can also cross over with exophilia, the sexual attraction to alien or extraterrestrial creatures, for some people. Basically, non-human weird creatures are hot. This is not a new concept at all, look at any historical mythology, people were down to fuck monsters thousands of years ago. It exploded in popularity on the internet within the last decade or so (tho it's been around since the creation of the web), with big movies like The Shape of Water or Marvel's Venom that spawned basically a tsunami of terato online, and the internet was never the same, for the viewing pleasure of us monsterfuckers. (*important note to please Harkness Test all your monsters before moving forward with the monsterfucking. If that test is news to you, please research it first.)

Monstrous, inhuman creatures are hot to me, similarly to masks, because of the removal of the human experience and aspects. Monsters, weirdly enough, are safer than humans. Monsters tend to be direct and instinctual creatures. A monster's level of danger or threat is readily visible and apparant. They may have fangs or claws or be huge or more powerful than a human, that shit tends to be obvious. I can deal with obvious danger. I may even eroticize said obvious danger. A human's level of danger is very difficult to determine. Humans know how to lie, they can manipulate and deceit, they can hide, their form doesn't betray immediate threat like a monster's form does, and so, humans feel unsafe. I'll take a direct, transparent danger over a hidden threat I might never notice any day.

Monsters also tend to not understand or value human concepts. They exist outside of human constructs and that has immense appeal to me. I can't imagine a monster giving much of a fuck about social constructs like gender or the binary; a monster's not gonna assume things about you and force you into boxes based on how you look; a monster's most likely not gonna give a fuck about neurodivergences or about your mental health status, positive or negative; a monster's not gonna give a fuck about physical health or disability. That's the core appeal, for example, of The Shape Of Water and why it made such a big splash in the terato community and converted lots of people over: the human lead character is mute, and a core part of her romance with the amphibian monster in the film is that it loves her for her. It doesn't know she's even disabled, because how would he know that humans talk and "need" a voice to be socially accepted. We shouldn't need a voice, or any other "default" capability to fit in. Everyone should be valued equally, yet in human society we are not, abelism is an unfortunately reality, but in the eyes of a non-human creature, all these social standards are meaningless. Monsters are a door to radical acceptance.

Which, once again, leads me back to Vessel. So, in the lore of the band, and I quote, "Sleep Token are a masked, anonymous collective of musicians united by their worship of an ancient deity crudely dubbed 'Sleep', since no modern tongue can properly express its name. This being once held great power, bestowing ancient civilizations with the gift of dreams, and the curse of nightmares." Now, immediately that makes my brain jump to Lovecraftian horror, the Chtulu mythos, eldritch horror, etc. It conjures images of an immemorial creature with powers far beyond the human brain's conceptualization capabilities, a deity of a thousand eyes and mouths and pure darkness and tentacles, a creature that would corrupt the feeble human mind on first sight and break our psyche to fragments with a blink. This? This is the shit for me. That's my kryptonite. I adore eldritch horror (while being conscious of the extreme ethical and moral problems in the source material, yes I know Lovecraft was a racist piece of shit, I hate it too). Tentacles are deeply, deeply ingrained in my brain and DNA as pure arousal triggers (thank you, random hentai videos from the early 2000s). So like. What more do I need. I'm already in love. Vessel. He's a vessel. He channels this Sleep deity. He receives. He takes in this deity, its unconceivable power. A vessel, the term by itself, the concept by itself, is erotic. A vessel is useless unless filled. It's made to be filled. To receive. To carry. To hold. A vessel can only take. A vessel is always open and ready. A vessel may overflow and make a mess. A vessel is an object. A vessel is intrinsically feminine. So what can Sleep's Vessel do. What power would he hold within, what has he received. With his faceless face and his blackened body, remains of a human, overtaken by a cosmic monster of Sleep and dreams. Made to worship. He dedicates his life to worship. Active worship of ink and voice and energy on stage. Vessel receives and holds. What could be give. Of course I'm gonna think of tentacles and monstrous, unavoidable, mind corrupting sex. It's like, right there. It's in the name. It's in the deep marine biology theme of This Place Will Become Your Tomb. Fall For Me? Please, you give me this visual and this command? I'll fall.

(This also applies to Ghost. The entire "the ghouls are demons" vibe the fandom has given them is in huge part why I'm so attracted to them and write them in erotic scenarios. They are not human. They're demons. They're creatures from hell. I love to play with their lack of understanding of the human form and human social norms in my fics. They don't understand rejection, so they may not reject based on human constructs. They have powers tied to the elements and the void and hell mythology that makes them strong and scary. They have the fangs and claws and horns and devil tails; they can shift their shape and look more demonic with crazy tongues and wings and hands and feet. Nothing about the ghouls is human beyond the general shape of their flesh and that's pure seduction for me.)

Option 3: stage presence Anonymity is a weird beast that radically changes how a person acts and feels. Anonymity allows for a process called disinhibition, where a human's natural behavior inhibitors (eye contact, to read someone's expression, fear of being judged, fear of being seen, fear of getting caught, discomfort with pain, etc.) are diminished or nullified. We all knows disinhibition very well, because we experience it online every day. It's what allows us on tumblr to be thirsty motherfuckers this openly, while we likely wouldn't be as horny on main in person with other people. It's what allows trolls to thrive and cause harm; allows people to send mean asks or comments without feeling bad about it. Through anonymity online, we're allowed to post whatever we want, and not face the consequences of having someone's eyes directly on us, of being observed, of seeing the hurt we may cause on someone's face. If we make someone cry online, we likely will never know and we'll never see the tears, for example, and tears are an evolutionary tool to show emotion and discourage an attacker from causing further harm through a presumed level of empathy. When anonymous, you are invulnerable. Unreachable. You are the ether. You are the void. You are formless. You have no weakness. Nothing can get to you. Anonymity is power. You cannot be judged, for who can prove that it was you. To be anonymous is to be free.

History is chock full of the use of anonymity and masks to justify a change in behavior. Just think back to masquerades or carnivals. Events that often devolved into pure debauchery, because when masked, you could do anything you truly wanted. You could have sex and act wanton, you could drink and overindulge, you could party and be open about who you are inside, because nobody knows it's you, and nobody will know come morning. Masks were a key to freedom, a class eraser, a way for different classes to mingle without consequence. To wear a mask changes how you act. Once protected, once hidden, once safe, a person will act according to their true desires and whims. Masks allow us to be unhinged. And that's what happens on stage with masked performers.

In the mask, Vessel can act as unhinged and inhuman as he wants. He can let music consume him, make him move weirdly, erratically, dance around and contort himself like he does on stage, because it's not him doing it. Whoever is inside the mask (and no, I don't want to know. For now at least.), on stage it's not him. It's Vessel. And Vessel is a conduit for the music and the god. That's why he moves so strangely. Why he's so "creature". He doesn't have to be a human on stage, he's in the mask, in the paint, in the costume, nobody can ever hold anything he does up there against him, nobody knows who he is. The freedom he must feel. That's also why he can feel up on his band mates like he does. He touches them, encircles them, gyrates and grinds against them, appreciates them as you say, because he's not himself, and they're not themselves. This is all fine to do, because it's Vessel and the numbers, it's the characters. He feels his music, and his music is sex. It's so fucking sexy. His voice, the bass, the drones, Sleep Token is incredibly erotically charged music, like music with heavy themes of worship and power and surrender tends to be. Vessel sings lyrics of obsessive love and devotion, of violence, of consumming each other. He feels himself. His bandmates feel themselves. They feel each other. There's so much tension in their stage antics. They sing of sex: "Oh, and my love Did I mistake you for a sign from God Or are you really here to cut me off? Or maybe just to turn me on Cause these days I would be lying if I told you that I didn't wish that I could be your man Or maybe make a good girl bad" Why not act like it.

(I guarantee the anonymity disinhibition is what happens to the Ghost ghouls too. Not that they're anonymous anymore, and they know that, but on stage, in the moment, the disconnect between who they are as a person and who their stage personas are in Ghost is visible to the naked eye. Yes there are tells with how they move, but in Ghost it's like everything is turned up to 11 on the intensity dial. Because they're not *them*, they're the ghouls, so they can have more fun, be more free, more unhinged. They're more silly, they make more jokes, they fuck around with each other more than any of them does in their "real" unmasked bands. The ghoul personas allow them to be a magnified version of themselves, because it's not them, they're behind masks, they can sell the sex more, the tension, they can go theatrical with the jokes, it's characters doing it, not the musicians. I saw Per Eriksson live with Blootbath, I saw him with Ghost. Are there tells it's the same guy? Sure. Did I ever see Per lick his guitar picks and mime jacking off on his audience in Blootbath? No. Would the guy think of doing that shit in his "real" life? I'm sure. Dude's got "Sodomizer" tattooed across his stomach, I bet he goes ham on the sex jokes. But like. Unmasked in person, he's more soft spoken, he's more shy, even on stage, in the absolute blistering agfression of Blootbath's music, covered in fake blood, he still holds back the jokes and the sex. That's allowed for his Ghost character, but not for Per Eriksson the guitarist.)

Option 4: all of the above For me it's the combo. Inhuman masked face + monster undertones + anonymity disinhibition = arousal trigger / fascination for a character.

tl;dr: enjoy Vessel, enjoy the guys appreciating each other, thirst over them, it's all great, as long as you Worship and ideally support them (within your means) with streams or merch or concert tickets if they have earned it in your mind.

#asks #Did I legit just sit here and spit out a 3k words essay about why the masked anonymous promiscuous band member thing works? YOU BET I DID #this might be one of my favorite posts / analysis / desonstruction I've ever written #Ghost people and especially the ghoul fans this is for you too #cause it explains the ghoul masks as well #sleep token

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hinacu-arts · 2 years

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I posted 753 times in 2022

That's 689 more posts than 2021!

225 posts created (30%)

528 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@help-i-need-a-cool-username

@hinacu-arts

@millylotus

@void-inked-pen

@freakadr0id

I tagged 713 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#hinacu tmnt - 166 posts

#rottmnt - 114 posts

#hinacu au - 106 posts

#hinacu sonic - 98 posts

#rwby - 86 posts

#hinacu rwby - 80 posts

#tffm fic - 78 posts

#hinacu xover - 67 posts

#tmnt 2012 - 61 posts

#bbc the fic - 54 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#when i walk and i really wanna put a sash in but would i ever actually wear it? no i'll leave it out for now maybe i'll add some jewelry and

My Top Posts in 2022:

Some sonic drawings i wanna do after i figure out how to draw them

Tails sitting on Tom's shoulders. They are wearing matching sunglasses

Sonic puffing up all spiky

Maddie and Knuckles doing yoga together

Knuckles demolishing a carnival strength game

Redraw these scenes:

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390 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

One again on the cusp of finally attempting a fic, and once again its crack taken seriously

You know all those fics where 2012!Mikey shows up in Riseverse and the brothers instantly adopt him and he doesnt want to go home? Yeah its that but from the 2012 gangs perspective, as they fight the Rise cast in stages (they win, they "get Mikey back"). Leo and Donnie are always Extra™️ so its set up like a videogame, and the boss battle is Splinter Rat Jitsu. Theres a fog machine so all 2012 can see of Casey Jr. is the glowing eyes in his mask. April introduces herself by coming up behind 12!Raph and hitting him so hard he flies. Donnie's "stage" is Albertoland and he's clearly unhinged the entire time. Raph doesnt really wanna fight so its essentially him just pushing 2012 back with little effort. Leo and Mikey Dr. Delicate Touch are a duo. Cassandra comes out of the shadows with both her masks on and gives 2012 a run for their money. At the end 2012 run through the last door, expecting to see 12!Mikey tied up, but he's just chilling with Draxum on the couch eating chips and salsa

EDIT: i did it Ao3 and FFnet

470 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

another possible crossover scene that has absolutely nothing to do with anything (but i laughed so im sharing)

rise! Leo: Your Casey and Donnie don't like each other? Oh this is really funny.

2012! Leo: what... do you mean?

rise! Leo, snickering: well you see, in my world Donnie and Casey are kinda married...

2012! Everyone: WHAT?!

rise! Leo: yeah, so first off we're in Florida-

2012! Raph: why were you in Florida?!

rise! Leo: and we got our tails handed to us pretty bad. Raph busted his hand up, April fractured a couple ribs, Donnie had a concussion, Cassie messed up her knee, yadda yadda. So, we're on some heavy duty painkillers, and Mikey-

rise! Leo: actually I think i have the wedding on video actually. *pulls out phone*

rise! Leo: ahhh no it must be on Mikey's phone. This video was the same night though!

Video!Leo: so, tell me Don-Don, how would you rate your whole Florida experience?

Video!Donnie, who clearly is not 100% coherent: two outta ten. Do not reccomend.

Video!Leo: but you still give it a two?

Video!Donnie: the humidity and heat are pretty nice but that's the only good thing about this state.

rise! Leo: i'll just fast forward to the relevant part.

Video!Mikey: Donnie! You're the smart one-

Video!Donnie, off screen: right you are!

Video!Mikey: PLEASE tell Casey that people who go through Vegas' drive through wedding chapels are real and actual marriages!

Video!Donnie: of course Vegas weddings are real!

Video!Mikey: aha!

Video!Donnie: its every other drive thru wedding chapel who's marriages are a sham.

Video!Casey, to Mikey: aha!

Video!April: im pretty sure they're also legal-

Video!Donnie: no they arent!

Video!Casey: You heard Mikey, Purple's the smart one, so he must be right! Which makes me right!

Video!Raph: but your stance was on Vegas weddings-

Video!Leo, behind the camera: if you two are so sure about this why don't you go test it out? Theres a drive through chapel 45 minutes awayyyy

Video!Casey: no thats too far. You couldn't pay me to sit in a van with all five of you for that long.

Video!Leo: what if I paid you both $50?

Video!Donnie: done! CASSANDRA! What is your middle name I need to propose properly

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572 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

Every time i play around with a 2012 x 2018 crossover set in 2018 verse i get secondhand self conscious and dial back the affection between 2018's extended cast. But you know what? No. Let 2012 and every other verse get uncomfortable with being in a environment filled with so much undisputed love

2018 boys cuddle on the couch. One of the boys will plop their head in 18!April's lap. Casey Jr. will slide up under 18!Leo's arm and doze off while leaning into his chest. Draxum comes over for lunch every Saturday and 18!Mikey excitedly calls him "Dad" while bouncing around him the first hour he's there. 18!Splinter kisses his sons goodnight if he sees them on his way to bed, including alternate universe counterpart sons. The Hamatos are huggers and every time 18!April or Sunita or Cassandra drop by, and on the rare occasion Sr. Hueso or Big Mama deliver something, they get a big hello hug. Cassandra greets Casey Jr. with hugs and dramatic cheek kisses and Casey Jr. has the biggest smile on his face the whole time. 18!Raph's just constantly beaming affection. 18!Leo will drape himself off everyone and everything. "I love you"s are said in almost every goodbye. No one is ashamed to admit they crawl into each others' beds at night after bad dreams or scary movies, often just telling a 2012 thats looking for them to jusy come to that room that morning because theyre comfy and dont want to move. 18!April regularly wears 18!Donnie's sweatshirts and trades off with him throughout the day (she likes baggy sweatshirts, Donnie likes warm sweatshirts), even after 12!Donnie and the teasing his brothers not-so-quietly do makes it a little uncomfortable, because this is something small that makes the other happy and a couple stares is hardly a price. 18!Mikey actively does gestures of affection (ex. making someone's favorite meal, making a painting, playing with April's hair, etc). 18!Donnie will walk away from a project if someone expressly states they wanna spend time with him (videogames are a whole different story). Sitting on top of each other because the booths at Run of the Mill cant hold 12+ people (Leo's sideways in Donnie's lap with his arms around his neck, Mikey is sitting on top of the booth with April sitting in front of him between his legs and his plate balanced on her head, Cassandra is propped up on Raph's shell and Casey Jr. is on his knee, Sunita has one leg on the seat and the other in April's lap) while 2012 try to pretend they arent uncomfortable with being squished together in a row. Todd shows up being Todd and 2018 actively and enthusiastically join in his sappy friendship things. The boys using their ten thousand dad nicknames for 18!Splinter. 18!Mikey running around to get goodnight hugs and kisses

702 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Drew this meme for a tmnt 2012 x rottmnt crossover and now i wanna draw more

See the full post

1,593 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #hinacu

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ranney16 · 2 years

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Virtual Sketchbook 1

1. WRITING AND RESEARCH

I was assigned one of Banksy’s pieces and it is untitled.

The artists real name to this day is still a mystery.

Banksy art is known as ephemeral art meaning it is not meant to be permanent in time. It’s meant to be perished away.

The nickname Banksy is a form of street graffiti which is done by stencils.

Most of his works depict things that promote peace and not war.

Banksy is England-based Street artist.

When I first looked at the untitled piece, I thought that I was observing a horse hierarchy of some kind. That horses have taken over and have become smarter than humans. After learning that Banksy likes to depict antiwar and peace among worlds in his drawing, I can see that his image in the scene is that the people in the car are scared and confined to there small space while the horses are free to roam about with there larger canvas. The people are wearing very little clothes and their expressions are showing that they are scared of their enemy while the horses feel superior with their technological advances and more pronounced posture. I feel that the human spirit in this image is broken. This to me is what Banksy is trying to depict of a nuclear war and the fallout it would bring.

2. ART AND WRITING

This flag hangs besides my bed side near where I do homework, quizzes, tests, and pretty much everything else stressful in my life. This flag is of the New England Patriots and their expression they tell their players is to do your job. This flag represents how I want to live my life which is by being productive and continuing on so I can relax later. I want to help myself by doing my job now so I can focus on other things sooner. I wouldn't call this flag beautiful but I do call it meaningful. This flag was bought online.

3. WRITING A SELF-PORTRAIT

Hello, my name is Benjamin J Ranney. I am Caucasian and I am 20 years old. I was born in Somerset Massachusetts, but I moved at the age of 11 to Venice Florida. I live with my mom, Dad, Sister, and two pets. I have a dog named Zoey and I have a cat name Lola. My favorite hobbies are hitting the gym, hanging out with friends, and playing games on my computer. Some of my favorite games to play are Escape from Tarkov, Rainbow Six Siege, Call of duty. I work in management at Firehouse Subs and my favorite sub to take home is the Hook and Ladder. I love to watch football with my Dad and Mom and our favorite teams are the Patriots and Buccaneers. I am apart of Big Brother Big sister and what makes me unique is my fun going personality.

4. ART PROJECT (SELF-PORTRAIT)

This is my and my amazing spectacular girlfriend Sydney. We love to go to Comic Conventions together dressed as our favorite movie characters. What makes us who we are is that we love to go and live our lives to the fullest. What I want you guys to see from this piece is that you can be whoever you want to be with or without a mask.

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uwuwriting · 4 years

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Wearing his jersey w/ Daichi, Kageyama and Osamu

Request: hi!! can i req the ‘wearing their jersey’ with daichi kags and osamu plss! i loved the one u wrote for kuroo akaashi and ushi. -anonymous

Okay I haven’t written for my Haikyuu babies for quite some time and that sucks. Everyday is Haikyuu day and I simp for a different character every hour of the day lmao. Although my new found obsession with Nanami is taking up most of my time. Oh well guess he’ll have to share my spare time with one of the Haikyuu boys every time. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff, I don’t think there are any warnings for this one.

Sawamura Daichi

-Captain Daichi thirst is active 24/7 lmao.

-He is used to you taking his clothes.

-From hoodies, to t-shirts to his sweatpants, it has become a regular occurrence in your relationship.

-He loves seeing you in his clothes.

-They are always too big on your body, his hoodies almost reaching your knees and it makes his heart go doki doki.

-He just wants to hug you to his chest and never let go.

-He has given you one of his t-shirts to wear to sleep cuz he loves the idea of you having a little part of him with you even if it's just a shirt.

-You two were having a sleepover before one of his major games and of course you were helping him unwind.

-You helped him make his duffle bag and double check for his knee pads, gave him a massage for his sore muscles after a long week of non stop practices and finally forced him to take a self care evening after he asked you to help him practice with his receives.

-While putting on his face mask you were going on about something random when you noticed the furrow of his brows.

- “Everything is gonna be fine baby, you’ll see. You and the boys have practiced really hard for this match and you;ll make it I know you will.”

-Smiling up at you he gave you a peck on the lips, careful not to smudge your own face mask in the process.

- “I know or at least I think I do. I just feel off knowing you won��t be there.”

-Oh that’s right….You weren’t sure you would make it in time to catch the beginning of the match due to a family obligation but you were certain you would get to see the later half of the game.

-Though Daichi didn’t have to know that yet.

-Kissing him again you reassured him that the team didn’t need you to be there to wipe the floor with the other team’s ass, that he didn’t need you there.

-The pout on his lips said otherwise though but he didn’t push it.

-When the time came for the match to begin, he kept glancing at the stands mainly out of habit but also because he half expected you to make it on time.

-No such luck though, you were nowhere to be seen.

- “Oi Daichi focus!!”

-Suga nearly karate chopped him in the stomach when he didn’t stop looking for you.

-Everyone could see that their captain was a little out of it but they chose to keep quiet.

-You on the other hand, were sprinting through the streets of Miyagi to get to your boyfriend’s game as fast as possible, his jersey spurring you forward as you pounded down the school’s courtyard.

-In a flash you were in your regular seat in the very front of the bleachers, chest rising and falling frantically as you tried to catch your breath.

-You took off your jacket and rushed to the railing, tracing the ball with your eyes as the opposing team spiked it right into your boyfriend’s arms.

- “GO DAI!!”

-His eyes found you immediately, quickly shooting down to your chest where the number 1 of his dark jersey rested proudly flushing at the sight.

-The game was over rather quickly after that.

-Daichi was in top form, his receives being immaculate while his serves were on point.

-The first thing he did when he walked out of the lockers was to hug you, hug you so close and tight you could barely breath as he thanked you for coming.

- “You r-really thought I w-would miss this???”

- “........Baby I can’t b-breath.”

Kageyama Tobio

-Flustered babyyyy.

-He will never get used to seeing you in his clothes.

-You have worn his hoodies before and he has had a heart attack every time.

-It reached a point where you thought that he hated seeing you in them and you stopped asking for his hoodies or jackets even if you were cold.

-That caused the frown on his face to deepen and a very shy confession that he indeed loved seeing you in his clothes.

-Ever since that day you always have at least one of his hoodies in your closet.

-Now your relationship is a secret.

-Considering who his teammates are, you both agreed that it would be wise to keep your relationship under wraps, neither of you want to go through their reaction in this lifetime at least.

-Keeping that in mind, you never wore his clothes out in public so you wouldn’t draw unwanted attention to you.

-You go to all his games of course, being his best friend before becoming his girlfriend does that to a person, plus he had convinced you to become a manager alongside Yachi.

-So even if you wanted to skip a game you couldn’t.

-Now that you think of it this must have been part of his plan since now he can be near you all the time.

-You couldn’t bring yourself to be even remotely mad at him, he was just too cute.

-You were so proud of your boys for making it to nationals that you decided to hype them up a bit.

-Convincing both Yachi and Kiyoko you stole three jerseys from the team while they were changing before you took your seats in the sidelines.

-Many would think that you wearing Kageyama’s jersey was a mere coincidence.

-You chose him because he is your best friend, not because something else was going on.

-Sugawara and Tsukishima aren’t most people and you soon found yourself in some hot water with those two.

-Apart from the fact that Kageyama couldn’t look your way without having a stroke, he whipped the floor with the other team, gasps and applause filling the stadium every time he dunked the ball on the other side of the court.

-It got to the point where the other less observant member of the team started noticing the significant difference in his attitude.

- “Kageyama why are you playing so aggressively the ball keeps going like WOOSH and BAM without me even hitting it.”

-Poor boy almost chocked on his water at Hinata’s words and when you went to help him he turned 50 shades of red in a matter of 0.0005 seconds.

-This whole charade ended with your relationship being exposed after Noya begged you to wear his jersey and Tobio wasn’t having it, three nosebleeds and a whole lot of teasing.

-He moved to your room that night despite the fact that the third years kept teasing him about being safe and wrapping it before tapping it.

-Held a small grudge for like five minutes.

Miya Osamu

-Love of my life number 20.

-The superior twin and this will make it evident.

-Atsumu is always being a little shit about your relationship and how you don’t look like a couple cuz you don’t make out in the hallways all the time.

-Em sir excuse you!

-Anyways, you know to ignore him at this point figuring that he’ll get tired and stop but no such luck; he irritates Osamu to no end resulting in one of them needing bandages at the end of practice.

-PDA is not something you are both comfortable with and you prefer small reassuring touches throughout the day.

-This has led to many believing that you two aren’t a couple just like Atsumu says and other people have confessed to you or asked you out WHILE Osamu is with you.

-It doesn’t bother him much since he trusts you but it still tugs at his insecurities.

-And because of those insecurities you get a new wardrobe.

-Literally a whole ass new clothing line made by none other than Osamu Miya himself.

-What is in this new clothing line you ask?

-Osamu’s hoodies and shirts in general.

-Every time he stops by your house he brings a new item of clothing with him, something that he has worn recently and others have seen just to get his message across.

-You aren’t complaining, you love wearing his clothes, they are always so big and they completely swallow you plus they smell like him.

-It’s like you have him with you.

-Now Osamu might not show it often but volleyball stresses him out, like a lot.

-It means the world to his brother and despite their fights and bickering, he loves seeing him happy and if that means he has to play the sport like his life depends on it so be it.

-Osamu would do anything for Atsumu.

-So you can understand the pressure he is under as a spiker.

-His distress is you basically and you give him a small pep talk right before he enters the court.

-Imagine his surprise and pure childish glee when he saw you making your way to him wearing his jersey.

-It reached just above your knee and it made you look so cute he wanted to bottle you up and keep you forever.

-Atsumu and Suna could be heard in the background teasing the living shit out of Osamu who remained frozen in place, the whole stadium turning into white noise as the only thing in his view, the only thing that mattered in that moment, was you.

-He noticed your glare as you told his brother off, saw the way you played with the hem of his jersey as you walked near him and the furrow of your brows when he didn’t answer your calls.

-Wordlessly he enveloped you in a tight hug, picking you off your feet and twirling you around a little bit much to the dismay of his fanbase in the stands.

- “Hi.” “Hey ‘Samu”

- “Whatcha wearin?”

- “Oh this old thing? I figured you might need the motivation.”

- *cue kissing assault*

TAG TEAM AY:

Arcana-Fan-at The @-FIC @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @ storage11037 @ezoyscorner @letscheereachotheron @ wolfkid22 @ Dark-Thoughts-and-Red-Roses @threeamwriting @ysatrap @yashinosakura @yongboxerrr @meena-in-a-nutshell

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cno-inbminor · 4 years

Text

domus

a/n: here we have another short drabble dump! i wrote this up very quickly -- i’m still working on that long fic i’ve been talking about! i apologize for taking so long to put it together. pls take this short fic as an apology for now. stay hydrated, wear your masks, and be safe! love you all so dearly <3

plot: when kuroo tetsuro drops the hard-hitting truth that he’s fallen out of love with you, your first thought is to escape. but you find comfort in the least likely person: akaashi keiji, a boy you had grown up with out of forced family interactions, who always seemed so distant from you. yet you probably knew more about him than anyone else.

characters: fem!reader, ex-bf!kuroo, & family friend!akaashi

wc: ~3.7k, will probably have other parts in the future.

genre/warnings: angst with dashes of fluff; mentions of alcohol

pt. 2 | pt. 3

edit: now crossposted to AO3!

When you’re in love, you spend weeks and months wondering why time won’t stop. You sit and ponder over why you’ll have to die someday and leave behind the person you’ve dedicated your entire soul to, or what might happen if your death came early and you didn’t get to say goodbye. You wonder why the seasons seem to pass you by so quickly, that in the blink of an eye, you go from enjoying a cup of iced tea on the porch to holding a mug of hot chocolate inside watching snowflakes swirl in their journeys to the ground.

But when love ceases to exist, time seems to stop. The days drag for longer, the seasons crawl at a turtle’s pace, and the inevitable end feels less terrifying. You no longer fear the eventual sagging of your skin or the spider legs that grow at the corners of your eyes. You no longer cling onto a hope that there will be a lover’s hand holding yours at your bed of eternal sleep. You simply become, just you. Solitary, single, independent you.

It’s no longer you and someone else. The realization stings so badly that it physically hurts you, a whimper leaving your throat. You shakily reach over for the next blouse and fight back the tears, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. The skin is chapped and broken to the point that you would need layers and layers of chapstick to save any semblance of it, a terrible habit that you wish you hadn’t possessed. It’s muscle memory, the way you fold the blouse in half, fold the sleeves in, bending it over your arm before it lands in a neat stack of other tops in your suitcase. Your eyes take a glance at the clock, and you gather you have about another hour before you needed to leave for the airport and make it on time for your flight.

You ignore the male figure hunched over on the edge of your bed, tuning out his pleas and broken promises. He begs you to give him time, to implore that it’s all his fault and he’ll make it work for the two of you. Tetsuro promises that he didn’t mean to and that it wasn’t anything you did, but you feel so empty inside that you can’t even find the energy to argue, to turn on him and say that he was pretending to take all the blame so it’d be a better explanation to all your friends. A relationship involves both parties, and while there were special exceptions, this wasn’t one of them. Something was clearly wrong with you, and you were okay with that. You were just tired of Testuro attempting to take everything onto himself.

“I thought it’d be best to come clean with you,” he says, throat hoarse from lack of hydration. “I know you would question it and I haven’t done anything, I swear, I know you’re amazing and don’t deserve to live a lie and—”

“Do you want me to say ‘thank you’?” You interjected quietly, morosely. Your hands slide open the underwear drawer and take out a week’s worth of underwear, bras, and bralettes. “Do you want me to express my gratitude in your honesty for telling me that you don’t love me anymore? You can easily buy a trophy online and make the inscription yourself. ‘Most honest man alive’? Is that what you want?” You ask, tone flat and not possessing the least bit of amusement and humor.

“Can’t you give me some time? I’ll try, I’ll try to figure out what went wrong, and I can love you again. We can still get married and everything, but please don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving forever, Tetsu. I’m just gone for a week, maybe more.”

“Where are you even going?”

“That’s none of your business,” you quickly reply, defenses back up as you make a beeline for the bathroom. You pick up all the toiletries you can, the ones that would be allowed in your carry-on. Strangers won’t care about your missing skincare routine and your complexion not looking its best.

“What if you get lost? Or kidnapped? What if people ask—”

“Easy. Just tell them I had a last minute business trip, family emergency, whatever floats your boat.”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying? I—”

“This isn’t just about you!” You snap, whirling around to look at him for the first time in the last hour or so. Testuro notices with a pang in his heart that your cheeks have sunken in slightly since he broke his revelation to you just last week, the eye circles darker than ever. But your eyes are soulless, dead, no shine or spark that he’d wake up to every morning even muddled with sleep.

“You can’t just expect me to be okay and continue to bend over backwards for you without question. The least you could do is give me my time, give me some space to think about all of it. That’s the bare minimum.”

And with that, you zip your suitcase shut, grab your passport (even though you probably don’t need it), keys, wallet, and phone, and walk as quickly as you can to the front door. The scheduled Uber will arrive in just a few minutes, and as you slip into a pair of flats, you can hear the creak of the bed and Testuro’s padded steps nearing you.

“Just be careful, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything. You’re still one of the most important people to me, so just – text me at some point. Let me know you’re alive at least.”

“You need to rest. You’re on call tomorrow,” you digress while opening the door.

“(Y/n)—”

“I’ll text you. Promise.”

And the door shuts behind you.

Your relationship with Akaashi Keiji is…hard to explain. In fact, you’re not even sure what to refer him as in your life. Anytime you spoke of him or attempted to explain, you’d fumble over words and draw blanks. While it was irritating and aggravating at times, you learned to just accept it.

Akaashi Keiji was the neighbor down the street, two years older, and someone who had known you since you were 8. Your moms were attached at the hip not longer after you moved to Tokyo, and that meant holidays were spent together, impromptu get-togethers and dinners were a common occurrence, and you saw him frequently at school. He was a quiet soul, gentle, but reserved. In fact, most of the things you knew about him were secondhand conversations from your mother talking about the family, because honestly his mom was basically your second mom now, and your mother trusted you with everything. His past, his troubles, his personality all relayed through your mom from his own, and when you saw him in the hallways, he wasn’t much of an enigma to you. Many other girls had found the mysterious air around him to be attractive, that the pretty setter who only ever smiled around his volleyball team and kept a tight circle of friends had something significant beneath the layers.

Keiji grew up with you, playing Smash on the Wii to pass time as your parents gossiped away. Sometimes, you’d play an intense game of Monopoly with him, a game that typically tipped in his favor. He never said much about himself, always relayed more about others that overlapped in your lives. The most he ever spoke to you about was when it came to teachers at school, even giving you some of his old notes and pointers. But even you could tell that he kept his guards up, and you wondered if he even classified you as a friend.

Your go-to explanation of Keiji’s standing in your life was a family friend. But that insinuated you were close with him, which you weren’t at all. No matter how many times he walked home with you (mainly at the pushing from his mother), no matter how many times he was forced to entertain you at dinners and holidays, no matter how many times he gave you a small smile in school, there was such a large gap between the two of you. He always seemed so different around his team, like they had the privilege of knowing the real him, and at times, you felt…jealous.

And the weird thing is that you can rely on him somehow – whether it be because he’d get an earful from his parents if he didn’t help you when you asked it or out of the goodness of his heart, he was simply always there. Sometimes, you were bold enough to text him about a show he talked about in the past, and he would reply quickly as if your unexpected, rare text about something benign didn’t faze him at all.

Yet despite the distance, despite the lack of any semblance of an actual friendship with him, he was the first one you thought of when all this happened. He was the one you wanted to see – maybe it’s because he was the closest thing to home, and you didn’t want to go back to your parents explaining everything. It’s been a while since you’ve been back in Tokyo, ever since you moved to Sapporo for your job and Testuro got matched for a residency at a hospital there.

At 7PM on a Friday afternoon, past the baggage claim with the sunset beaming in through the sliding glass doors, you stare at Keiji’s contact on your phone, thumb hovering hesitantly over the call button. You could count the number of times you’ve called him on one hand, but this was an emergency, right? Is this why your heart is pounding against your chest, so anxious that you feel like you’ll break into a cold sweat any time soon?

You jump into the deep end.

Your hand nervously brings the phone to your ear, waiting with bated breath as the dial tone echoes in the chamber of your brain. Part of you wants him to miss the call so you can avoid this awkward conversation, but another part of you desperately wants him to pick up as if he’ll be able to save you.

Oh god oh god oh god, you panic as the tone stops, there’s a pause, a rustle, and then a hesitant, “—Hello?”

You didn’t plan this out. You’re not ready for this. Shit, what are you supposed to say?

“—hello? (Y/n)?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

Wow, you’re a terrible conversationalist.

“…um, I haven’t actually. I was about to warm up some leftovers?”

Your eyes focus on the taxis driving by, picking up passengers as they get waved down. Maybe you should just find a cheap hotel nearby, continue this conversation tomorrow.

“Well…I’m in town, actually. I just landed about 30 minutes ago and realized I didn’t have anywhere to go and I don’t really want to call anyone else and I don’t exactly know who else to call so I just, um, thought about calling you and asking if you’ve had dinner? Which if you’re busy and stuff, that’s totally fine, I should’ve texted you beforehand instead of springing this on you and—”

“(Y/n), it’s okay, alright? It’s okay. I’m not busy, so you can stop by. Did my mom ever give you my address?”

Keiji’s brief attempt to calm you down works, surprisingly. You allow yourself to take a deep breath despite the stale airport air, but it was some much-needed oxygen. This is going to be okay, Keiji doesn’t hate you quite yet.

“N-no, she never did.”

“That’s fine, I’ll text it to you. My place is about 30 minutes from the airport, I’d recommend getting a taxi instead of an Uber. I’ll order some delivery—”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“You still like the miso ramen from that shop not far from your house, right? They opened up a second store not far from where I live.”

How did he remember that? You’re pretty sure your own mother had forgotten that fact by now.

“Y-yeah, I do,” you smile to yourself. “I still think about it sometimes.”

“Sounds good then. Get here safely then.”

“Okay. Thank you loads again. I’m sorry for all this—”

“Don’t worry about it. Keep me updated, see you later.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Not 30 seconds later, a text arrives to your phone with an address, a keycode for getting past the main door, and other relevant instructions.

Keiji’s apartment is exactly as you expect it to be – prim, proper, neat almost to a fault, with minimalist decorations. The apartment complex he lives in is rather high-end, if the security guards standing outside the main entrance indicated anything. You almost feel completely out of place or like a bug on the wall as you step in after him, a rather comfortable silence between the two of you. His kitchen is spotless and almost sparkles back at you, and the only thing that seems out of place are the containers of your ramen he so kindly ordered for you.

“Your place is really nice, it’s really…you,” you comment, setting your stuff down at the door. Keiji indulges you with a quiet laugh, making sure that there wasn’t anything that would be in your way. His glasses are perched on his head, an old monochrome t-shirt on his shoulders and sweatpants hung low on his hips, yet in this apartment that almost seems like it should be in an interior design magazine, he looks at home. His ethereal beauty, the softness in his eyes, the gentle up-turned strands of his hair – he belonged here.

“The ramen came not too long ago, so it’s still hot. I’ll go ahead and put it together, you can put your jacket on the couch.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Instead, you fold your jacket over your suitcase and quietly make your way into the apartment. Straight across from you are doors to a balcony – darkness had long taken over the city, so you see nothing but your reflection at first. But as you near the plexiglass, the reflection disappears into the view and you almost gasp from the beauty of it.

Blinking lights, flashing billboards, and the brightly lit Tokyo Skytree peer back at you. It only hits you now how much you’ve missed home, and that even though Sapporo was one of the largest cities in Japan, it still wasn’t Tokyo.

“I never get tired of it,” Keiji chimes in while carrying your bowl of ramen to the dining table.

“It’s an amazing view, I can see why you’d live here,” you reply while moving away from it. The table also has two empty wine glasses, and just as you’re about to ask him why they were there, he returns with a newly opened bottle of chardonnay.

“I haven’t had a lot of time to restock the wine fridge, but I knew I was going to kick myself for not having a bottle of that dessert wine we had before you went off to college,” he said with mirth and amusement. “You remember that one?”

“Yeah,” you nearly splutter, almost flushing that once again, Keiji was remembering details about you that you didn’t even know. “Your mom wanted to throw me a graduation dinner and you made it back in time after finals. And she had a bottle of it and between the two of us, we probably drank most of it. Our parents said it was too sweet.”

He nods and sits across from you, elbows on the table as you mutter, “Itadakimasu,” and start eating. You finish your meal silently for the most part, making small talk here and there. Keiji refills both of your glasses and the two of you sip the wine demurely, and while he seems okay with the lack of an explanation, you’re struggling to find the right words.

“So what’s with the impromptu trip to Tokyo? Are you going to see your parents?”

“Should I try to lie to you?”

“It’s up to you.”

Oh, okay then.

But he looks expectant, as if he knows you wouldn’t lie to him – in fact, you’ve never lied to him before. There was never any need to, but did that just mean neither of you ever cared enough?

“Something happened with me and Testuro. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but at the end of the day…I just needed to get away, as cliché as it sounds,” you laugh brokenly. Keiji continues to carefully observe you with a stare that you can’t escape. “I don’t want to tell my parents – you know them, they’ll ask a million questions. Without thinking, I booked a ticket to Tokyo and…now I’m here.”

That was a lie. How are you supposed to tell Keiji that he was the first person you thought of in an effort to run away? You and Keiji have never gotten personal before, he made sure of that. The last thing you want to do is weird him and scare him off.

“…did he cheat on you?” Keiji asked. His voice is darker in his inquiry, deeper than you’ve ever heard before. He has his hands folded in front of his lips and his eyes harden. Testuro may be an old friend to him, but you were in his life longer.

“Nonononono,” you quickly wave off. This isn’t the time to slander your…boyfriend? Could Tetsuro still even be your boyfriend if he no longer has any feelings for you? “Nothing like that.”

“That’s good to hear. If you want, you can tell me another time then. You’re welcome to stay here until you go back to Sapporo.”

You look up at him, eyes incredulous. Could Keiji really be this comfortable with you?

“I wouldn’t mind staying tonight, but I can stay in a hotel for the rest of the week that I’m here.”

“Nonsense,” Keiji refutes, standing from the table and taking your wine glasses to the sink. You follow with your bowl and he starts washing them before you can even offer. “Mom would kill me if she knew I let you pay for a hotel when I have a perfectly functioning bed you can stay in.”

“I mean, if it’s not a bother…”

“It’s not. The futon’s pretty comfortable, I’ve definitely fallen asleep on it plenty of times.”

“We can switch, I would never let you sleep on the futon for a whole week.”

“If you say so then. But for tonight, you can take my bed. Let me grab you an extra towel so you can shower. I’m sure you’ve had a long day,” he says while drying everything off, folding the kitchen towel neatly before heading off to his room. He returns with a large, soft grey towel and you shyly take it from him with a word of thanks, but he stays there in front of you, waiting for something.

“I’m really glad you picked up the phone,” you whisper softly, feeling the effects of the alcohol. You’re entering uncharted territory for the two of you, and this could either kill or strengthen this odd distant friendship. “I meant it when I said I didn’t know who else to call. You were the first person that came to mind and just…I don’t want to make this weird, like you can kick me out,” you begin to ramble. “Don’t feel like you’re obligated to take me in because your mom would be disappointed if you wouldn’t, you’ve already put up with me for over 15 years and it’s fine, I can be on my own and—”

Smooth, calloused hands delicately hold your face, large palms and nimble fingers cupping your cheeks. Your words die on your tongue as Keiji stares straight into your eyes, holding your gaze until your breathing calms down to a steady, languid pace. “You’re my friend, (y/n). So it’s good that you called me.”

“I’m your…friend?” You ask unsteadily, feeling a sense of disbelief.

“Yeah,” he confirms with the corners of his lips turning up slightly. “We’re friends.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now go shower.”

“Okay.”

You’re fast asleep before Keiji finishes his own shower, his bedroom door left ajar as the hallway light beams through. He pauses in the midst of drying his hair with a towel, letting it bunch and hang off his neck as he cautiously pushes the door open. Keiji notices your even breathing and how much more relaxed you look in sleep. You’re curled up on your side with the blanket pulled up to your face and he can’t lie: it’s adorable and cute, and he shouldn’t really be thinking these things.

He sits on the edge of the bed in the little space that’s provided, lithe fingers reaching out to brush back a few stray wisps of your hair. Watching you sleep pulls him back into a fond memory he’s kept of the two of you, one that might’ve held very little significance to you but meant something so much more to him. He knows you know him well, he knows how much his mother babbles on about him, and adults were more prone to gossip than the rowdiest of teenagers – he’d be painfully oblivious if he didn’t think you knew that much about him, or more than the average friend.

But it’s comforting to him, sometimes. Knowing you, how kindly you think of others, he might not have to explain what he’s feeling in the moment. You would be able to know, and that soothes him to some degree.

Maybe he had a little bit too much wine as well, but ever so subtly, motions steady and unhurried, he deftly leans closer and closer until his lips brush the apple of your cheek. He lingers for no more than a few seconds and sits back up, gazing at you before standing. His hands adjust the blankets and make sure you’re properly tucked in. He pads away, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible as to not wake you.

And when he’s found a comfortable position on the futon with his most comfortable throw blanket, he realizes, begrudgingly, that this week will fly by too fast for his liking.

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pomegranates-and-blood · 4 years

Text

Salvation, Damnation

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader, Heahmund&Reader (brother/sister relationship)

Summary: “Where the reader is Heahmund's sister (or some kind of close relative) and she ends up meeting Ivar, but while Heahmund's always seen her as quiet, shy and insecure, she finds Ivar attractive and starts hitting on him and openly flirting with him in front of any and everyone. Ivar notices that it bothers Heahmund, so he flirts with her back until they end up spending 1 on 1 time with each other (something cute and romantic) and he starts to genuinely like her.”

I am so sorry anon if I dissapointed you, this story got away from me.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Mentions of violence and death, nothing major. My awful attempt at masking my dislike for Heahmund. Horrible, horrible attempts at writing sexual tension. Subtle (and not so subtle) D/s dynamics. Implied sex. Implied bondage, and knife/blood kink. Nothing exactly explicit, but still.

A/N: I really need to put my foot down and write a meek reader character at some point, they always turn out being crazy or annoying little shits. Or both.

Also, alternate title to this: two switches try to out-dom one another for 3k words. Hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @1950schick @ietss

Heahmund paces in front of you, head low and hand gripping tightly at his cross.

“You will be sent to Kent, I have friends there that can-…”

“No, I will not leave you.” You argue, to which your brother replies only with a sigh.

“I want you safe.”

“I will be safe with you, not surrounded by old men and priests somewhere in Engl-...”

“Can’t you see we are surrounded by enemies!?” Heahmund’s voice doesn’t rise, but it still makes you tremble, “We can’t afford to stay together.”

“Then why make that Viking take me from Lindsey? You put me in his grasp.”

“Lindsey won’t hold under English control for long,” He promises, voice almost a whisper though you can still hear the anger, the impotence, the fear bubbling beneath “It is too close to York. You’ve seen their army, they’ll…they’ll crush them all.”

“And yet you fight for them, for pagans.”

“I don’t have a choice,” His hands are warm on your arms, “But you do. I have to send you to Kent, I have to keep you alive.”

“Why would they kill me?”

“Punishment for a failure, maybe. Ivar knows he needs only to threaten your life to have me do his bidding.”

“And you think he’ll allow you to ship me away? The one thing that keeps you on a leash?” You shake your head, “Brother, this is madness.”

“I don’t care if he allows it,” Heahmund sentences, voice grave and certain. “Whatever punishment befalls on me, I shall endure.”

You shake your head again, and you want to fight back, argue, but you know that dead look in his eyes, you know that deadly stillness, that terrifying certainty.

And so you lower your eyes, and accept his words with a nod of your head.

He needn’t know you retrace each and every one of his steps, and undo his plans for sending you off to England. You will die before leaving your brother alone at the mercy of these heathens.

____

“Does your sister know how to play?” The Viking asks, moving a wooden piece on the board. Without missing a beat, he adds, “Or are nuns not allowed to learn chess?”

“She’s not a-…” Heahmund closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “She does.”

The Viking looks down at the board, and his expression twists into a mix of surprise and disapproval at your brother’s move.

“Hopefully better than you,” And it seems answering a question about you, acknowledging your presence, was a wrong move on your brother’s part. “Does she have a tongue?”

You keep your eyes on the pale ones of the youngest son of Ragnar.

“I do.” You reply slowly. The Viking only seems to grow more delighted with this little game of his.

“And you know who I am, don’t you, little dove?”

“There are more fun ways to make me say your name, you know.” You quip, and not even a thousand years of teachings of chastity and restraint could keep you from smiling when the Viking’s eyes widen, right before he runs his tongue over his bottom lip, looking…hungry.

The youngest son of Ragnar stands, using the table and then the crutch at his side to stand tall and walk towards you.

When your brother growls his name in warning, Ivar only laughs darkly, and continues approaching you until he towers over you, eyes dark and set on you.

“What would those ways be, little dove?” He reaches down, and hooks one finger on the rosary bracelet you wear, tugging on it and reminding you strikingly of bindings.

“Hands-on practice is much more…rewarding than lessons.”

“Hmm,” The Viking muses, eyes studying you with an intensity that should make you uncomfortable. He doesn’t release his hold on the rosary on your wrist, for a moment tugging on it harder and making it tighten on your skin like rope. He chuckles, “I like you. You are…interesting, for a Christian.”

“And you are…intriguing, for a Viking.”

Ivar the Boneless only huffs a laugh, but there’s still a spark of excitement in his gaze, of pride, of satisfaction.

He turns his head to the side, and addresses your brother, ordering him to leave.

Heahmund hesitates, of course he does, and his hand goes to the handle of his sword at his side. You hold your breath.

But after a moment, with the restrained anger of a dog brought to heel, the threat that he might take these Vikings and this kingdom down single-handedly if you are to come to harm written in his dark eyes; your brother takes his leave.

The Viking’s hand closes around your throat, and you only stare back at him with wide eyes as he corners you towards the wall. He is so close to you, with each breath you take you feel his armor against your own chest, you can discern every speck of blue in his eyes.

“What game are you playing?” He snarls, but you cannot find the words, your heart beating wildly in your chest and the blood in your veins singing with fear and something else. “Answer me!”

“I am not playing anything!”

“I don’t believe you,” He snarls without hesitation, lips curved into what looks like a beast threatening to attack. The hand on your neck moves up, cupping your jaw roughly and moving your head to the side. You feel his breath on your neck as he speaks again, quieter, “I don’t like being lied to.”

“I am not lying, you brute. Now get your hand off me.”

“Or what?”

Your eyes widen, but something in your blood sings at his defiance, something in his blue eyes as he dares you makes your heart quicken.

“What?”

“You heard me, little dove. What will you do, if I don’t do as you say?”

You are pushed against a wall in some Viking kingdom, with the most feared Viking alive holding you by the throat, and yet you smile at him.

You reach up with your hand, and, the same way he did earlier to you, you hook a finger on the metal arm-ring on his wrist, and tug, hard enough he feels the strain of the makeshift binding.

“Why don’t you do as I say?” You prompt sweetly, “I prefer rewarding to punishing, I have too soft a heart.”

Ivar’s lips part at your words, and naked want is written in his face. It is barely a moment, where the mask slips, the game grants you a victory, and you see him feeling the siren call of giving in.

Still, slowly his lips curve into a sinister smile, and he leans even closer.

“I don’t.” He promises by your ear, what you could swear is the scrap of teeth against the shell of your ear before he lets you go.

You stay there, back against the wall, trying to regain your breath, regain your control, as you watch him walk out of the room.

It is an easy, fun game to play, this push and pull you engage on with the Viking. Circling one another over and over, taunting one another, testing one another; waiting for the other to pounce or retreat.

You know on your end there’s more than pretense and empty words, and you dare think on his end it’s the same.

It is fun, and thrilling and liberating; and you soon find yourself enthralled by the Viking and his captivating voice, his depthless eyes that give so much away.

You know it is wrong, you know it is sinful and awful, you know no Christian would speak, wish, dream, of such things, much less with a heathen of all men.

But, at the end, you were never a very good Christian.

And so, much to your brother’s horror, you grow closer and closer to the Viking. In between the games you both play, in between the taunts and the defiance, grows what you dare call a comfortable intimacy, an understanding of one another.

It doesn’t hurt your cause that Heahmund cannot even dream of taking you right from under Ivar’s nose now, send you off to England so you can be safe, but alone.

____

A sharp tug on the rosary on your wrist draws your attention to Ivar, and you turn to him with questions written in your eyes.

“We will sail for Vestfold in two days,” He tells you, smiling slightly when you make a point of wrenching your wrist, your bracelet, from his grasp. “Will you be coming with us?”

“Are you asking me to?”

“If I were, what would you say?”

You offer only a smile, partly exasperated and partly enthralled.

Heahmund stands up from his place in the table in front of you, and with a grunt of your name stalks away, to a place of relative privacy. You notice Ivar’s eyes following your brother’s retreating back with what strikes you as suspicion, as disdain, and so you hurry to follow Heahmund.

He runs a hand through short dark hair, and shakes his head as if to try and dispel himself of his anger.

“What on God’s name are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything,” You reply innocently, before your eyes find those of the son of Ragnar across the room. A thrill runs through your spine when you find he was already looking at you. “He is rather handsome, isn’t he?”

“Are you mad!?” Heahmund says lowly, in that way of his of yelling at you with a whisper. His brows furrow, “My sweet sister wo-…”

“Your sweet sister refuses to be shipped off to England, Heahmund,” You finish for him, “I would have believed you knew better than to expect me to leave you behind.”

“You put yourself at the mercy of Ivar the Boneless! That monster has none!”

You hear the Viking call your name from across the room, and even if you didn’t have a point to prove, you know you’d answer the call.

“I bought us -you- time, if anything.” You tell your brother, before you go off to sit at Ivar’s side.

____

The Viking King he takes you to meet -Harald, you remind yourself- is a strange character. A man that makes a strange thrill of disgust and fear run down your spine.

You don’t miss the implication of Ivar’s display. While your brother is brought in chains and forced to kneel at Harald’s feet, you remain standing at the Viking’s side, Ivar’s hold on the rosary bracelet you wear for once not the promise of thrill, of lust, but a silent oath of protection.

You awaken in the dead of night to the soft sound of knuckles rasping against your door. You hold on tight to the dagger in your hand, even though you know if any of these men wanted you dead you would be so.

Ivar stands at the other side of it, and it steals the breath from your lungs, the words from your lips.

Still, you let him in, and watch with wide eyes as he takes a seat on a low settee near your bed.

“Doesn’t it scare you? To be all alone with a heathen?”

You shrug, and find your voice again,

“If I were to fear, it would be for being all alone with a murderer, with a warrior. Not a pagan.”

“And why is that?”

You study him in silence for a few moments, before offering, “I am not my brother, I don’t share his…conviction.”

“His faith.”

“His fervor,” You correct, before sighing, “Maybe it will damn me for eternity, but…I ought to fear you, to hate you, for the things you have done and the things you will do, not the Gods you follow.”

“And do you?” The Viking asks, and your eyes narrow at his question. After a breath, eyes searching yours, he presses, “Hate me.”

“You care about some nun’s scorn?”

“You definitely aren’t a nun,” He offers, the hint of an amused smile on his lips, “And you are…fascinating, I’d like to know if you despise me.”

“I don’t,” At his strange expression, you press, “You’re disappointed?”

Ivar shrugs, head moving side to side as his mouth curves downwards, indecisive.

“I don’t know. There is something to be said about a poor Christian nun at the hands of a Viking; fearing, fighting, resisting.”

His words, the images they conjure up in your head, make a thrill run down your spine, a rush of heat settle low on your stomach. You lick your lips, and because you cannot help yourself, you offer a counteroffer,

“There’s also something to be said about a Viking at the mercy of a wayward Christian. Makes one wonder what it takes to have him…cave, obey, beg.”

Ivar laughs, shaking his head, “I’d like to see you try, little dove.”

There’s no mistaking the darkening of his gaze, the quickened breaths, the hunger in his expression, though. He wants it as much as you do, he craves control as much as he craves surrendering it.

You cross your legs and try focusing on the matter at hand.

“But you didn’t come here to talk…hypotheticals, did you?”

Ivar sobers, and you could swear he grits his teeth as he toys with the crutch on his hand.

“Harald promised us support. We will march for Kattegat soon.”

“I don’t have my brother’s strategic mind, I’m afraid,” You offer when he stays quiet. “I fear I won’t be of much help.”

“Lagertha could be dead, in a matter of weeks. I could…I could finally kill her.” He confesses, eyes falling from yours, and there’s the clear tell of anger in his expression. Anger at what you are sure he considers weakness, anger at having you be a witness to it.

“That is what you want, is it not?”

“To you Christians…my people are monsters, are we not?”

“You honor your Gods with blood, you value death over life, you pillage and burn and conquer. Of course my countrymen think that, of course they fear you.”

“Do you think I’m a monster, little dove?” Ivar asks you, taking you aback. If you weren’t so used to him, if you weren’t so familiar with the tones of his voice, with the subtle tells in his expression; you’d think he’s daring you.

You wouldn’t have believed, months ago, when he barged into Lindsey with an army at his back trying to find Bishop Heahmund’s sister, that one day you’d be sitting on front of Ivar the Boneless and see his eyes shining with hesitation, with vulnerability, with fear.

The answer you can offer is a smile, and a shake of your head. The answer he demands is the bruising kiss he presses against your lips, is the breath he steals from your lungs.

____

For all the ruckus planning a battle implies, for all the chaos that comes before a siege, for all the months of war talks and battle plans; the battle for Kattegat sneaks up on you.

On your happiness. On your sin.

Ivar presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist, eyeing the marks of rope on your skin with careful eyes. You only watch him, sated and tranquil and at peace; letting him make inventory of the marks, of the evidence of your surrender.

“Tomorrow we will march,” He tells you quietly, rough fingers still circling your wrist delicately. “Kattegat could be mine in days.”

You hum an agreement, and stretch. Because you cannot help it, you burrow into him, your face hidden at the crook of his neck, and trace your own marks on his skin, the evidence of his surrender.

The faint cuts of a knife are still visible in his chest, and when you trace your fingers over them, Ivar shudders. You smile.

“Ivar the Boneless,” You whisper against his skin, before you give in and press a soft kiss over a darkening bite mark on his shoulder. “King of Kattegat.”

He huffs a breath that could have been an amused chuckle.

“When it is all done, I…I will send your brother to York.”

Your heart drops to your stomach, and your breath shudders past your lips.

“York?”

“To defend us from some Danes that threaten it with capture. He won’t fight Christians, you have my word.

But that isn’t what made you freeze under his touch, and he knows it. Ivar swallows, and returns his gaze to the ceiling.

His hand tightens on your wrist, before he takes a deep breath.

“I want you to stay with me,” He confesses, not looking at you. “I want you at my side, I…I want to make you Queen of Kattegat.”

Your eyes widen, and you lean back, even though he doesn’t release your wrist.

“Ivar…”

“I’ll release Heahmund from his vow, he will be free, and safe. You…if you want, we can marry before your God after we marry before mine,” He promises, rushed and anxious. You realize he’s giving you reasons to say yes, as if you didn’t have enough of those written in his gaze, in his burning touch, in the marks that litter both your bodies. “I-…

You lean in, and kiss him. It has always been surprisingly useful in getting him to stop thinking, to stop talking; and you realize when he presses back against your lips with a soft sound, when his hand tangles in your hair and he brings you closer, that it continues to be so.

When you part, his eyes open slowly, and when they meet yours you see in them that emotion neither of you has been brave enough to admit yet.

“Marry me.” He whispers.

You press your brow to his with a breathed laugh, happy and mad and warm.

“Yes,” You reply, voice hushed, eyes shining. You steal a kiss from his lips, and another one when he continues to stare up at you, surprise and awe and hope written in his pale eyes. “I love you, Ivar.”

His eyes search yours, looking for the lie, for the mirage. When he finds none, Ivar smiles, wide and hopeful and happy.

“I love you, little dove.”

That night, he promises his love between fervent kisses, brands it against your skin in the mark of his fingers on your hips. That night, he demands your love with whispers of your name, steals it from your lungs in the air he robs you of with skillful fingers and tongue.

____

Soooooo, whaddya think?

Ik I need to write smut at some point, but I’m too much of a coward atm. At some point I will, and mark my words, I will return to this one shot.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it!! Love you!

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar

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engekihaikyuu · 4 years

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View from the Top 2 - Review

Check out the Read More if you’d like to hear about this show! Askbox is open as well if you’d like me to elaborate on anything out of this.

Before I begin my review of the final show, I do want to start with some caveats:

So as I mentioned previously, the production once again went with PIA for their live streaming platform, which means that live streaming this show is very inaccessible for anyone living outside of Japan.

PIA is a ticketing platform that requires a working Japanese phone number in order to finish activating/registering a new account because you must call the number provided to finish account verification. So without a Japanese contact or a Japanese phone number, this platform is basically impossible.

I have a generous friend in Japan who was willing to share her account information with me, which is how I was able to pay for a show and use her log-in to watch the stream. I did not see this show in-person; I do not live in Japan and obviously travel is off-limits. Even if I did live in Japan, I would have qualms about going to the theater.

There are some logistical issues with this show because of the current pandemic, with the most visually obvious one being the small face shields the actors wear on-stage. They basically serve as protection against direct spittle, but obviously they do nothing to guard against aerosol spread; putting on the play is still an incredible risk to the performers and staff. Another difficulty they face is the fact that Tokyo is still continuing to maintain a nightly curfew. Every evening Tokyo performance needed to be bumped earlier so that spectators can leave the theater in time to make it home for that curfew. Keeping that in mind, the show is a surprisingly condensed 2.5 hours long, where I would have expected 3 hours given the amount of content it covered. This does affect the pacing in Act 2 noticeably, and I get the feeling that were it not for covid and the current curfew restrictions, it would feel a little less rushed at the end.

So, with all that said, here are my thoughts on Engeki Haikyuu’s final play, The View from the Top 2!!! This is absolutely not spoiler-free, for both the play’s content and everything that happened in the manga finale, so if you have not finished the series, this is your last chance to turn back.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t written a full review on a show since Fly High, so I’m a bit rusty at this, and I’ll probably leave out a lot so as always, my askbox is open for people’s additional questions!

The absolute main theme of this play (and really of the entire Haikyuu story) is the friendship and rivalry between Hinata and Kageyama, and the theme: I’m not alone. Engeki really did right by our dual protagonists by framing the final show as showing both of their journeys from beginning to end. Act 1 begins with that familiar sequence from the very first show: Hinata seeing the little giant on TV, being inspired to start playing volleyball, his struggle to find a team in middle school, losing to Kageyama in his one and only middle school tournament, and finding him again at Karasuno. They repeated the scene almost exactly as it was in the first show, and I think it was very smart of them to show us Daigo’s version of it, so to speak. That way we have a more cohesive vision of Hinata from the beginning of his journey to the end. Then they absolutely FLOOD the stage with a montage of projections with footage from all of the shows from the past five-and-a-half years. So already it’s pretty emotional for me, seeing how far the play had come as well as how far Hinata had come in the story.

To parallel this, the beginning of Act 2 actually begins with baby Kageyama. Yes, the baby Kageyama flashback with his sister and grandfather and how he started volleyball. We see Kageyama’s volleyball journey from childhood (for this they used a small doll similar to the dolls they used for young Kuroo and Kenma from Revival) to playing at Kitagawa Daiichi, to losing his grandfather, to being labeled the King of the Court, to defeating Hinata, and then having Hinata find him at Karasuno. And then they once again, they flood the stage with projections with past show footage, but this time they are more Kageyama-centric in the way that the previous ones were often Hinata-centric. And it just really highlights how much these two are meant to share the stage as the two main characters.

To see this framework and to know what’s going to come at the end, with the two of them reuniting in the pro-volleyball arena… just the beginning of Act 2 alone had me in tears. Another way they paralleled their respective journeys was to show us who have influenced them. In Act 1, there’s a dance with Hinata, Hoshiumi, and Udai (all little giants… well, Tsukishima’s in there too because he’s feeling a particular competitiveness with Hinata in this part of the match). In Act 2, there’s a dance with Kageyama, Atsumu, and Oikawa, because Atsumu and Oikawa are the setters who have had the most influence on Kageyama, and he’s drawing on what he’s learned from them for this match. They are not alone in their journeys, they have had people inspire them and be inspired by them in addition to having the support of their teammates.

The Karasuno vs Kamomedai match is interspersed with bits of action from the Fukurodani vs Mujinazaka match, so the stage was pretty busy for basically the entire time. The wires are back for some sequences so that both Hinata and Hoshiumi have a chance to fly, and there are plenty of acrobatics and lifts, and the same incredible soundtrack we love. Ryuu’s Hoshiumi is the obvious standout on Kamomedai for how many lifts he had, and they definitely tried to have him running around on the stage about as much as Hinata. It was notable how much they drew on past techniques and music for various parts of this match, since this is meant to be Karasuno at their peak. When Asahi was feeling particularly stuck/trapped against Kamomedai’s defense, they incorporated the tying-up visual they had previously used in Winners and Losers, with Kamomedai basically tying up and holding Asahi in place with ribbon. There was Summer of Evolution music when Karasuno does a great synchro attack, and the extras-wearing-Hinata-masks reappeared to show us Hinata’s “afterimage” as he flashes around the stage. If you’ve seen all the plays, you can’t miss these call-backs.

The flow of the match was fast. They hit the highlight plays and the highlight emotional moments, but we are clearly past the point where they need to narrate the actual volleyball to us. There was more dancing/acrobatics than attempting to place the two teams on either sides of a physical net with more overt volleyball moves. Everything was more intertwined and fluid than that. And actually now that I think about it, they have been sparse with their usage of a physical net in the past few shows, because everything has been a little more fast-paced overall.

They definitely wanted to highlight Karasuno’s rise throughout the game, to show that they were absolutely a formidable team, that they deserved to be at Nationals, and to show us all the ways that Hinata and Kageyama had grown. For most of Act 2 leading up to Hinata’s collapse, it really feels like they could win this. And I think it makes it that much harder for Hinata to accept being benched, because the team is riding this high and doing so well, and even Kageyama’s more visibly having fun. I think Takeda-sensei easily has a third of the best lines in the series. His speech to Hinata during the Kamomedai match is one that was really gut-wrenching to read when those chapters came out, and it was great to hear it said aloud.

And here is something I’ve never been able to point out because I didn’t do reviews for the past two tours, but I think Daigo’s voice is one of the strongest aspects of his Hinata. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with the work he’s done as a voice actor, but when he cries or whimpers, it is genuinely the most pitiful noise. A lot of Kenta’s portrayal of Hinata’s frustrations throughout the story had an undercurrent of anger and frustration. He’s upset, but there’s always something behind it that says, “well next time, it’ll be different.” And I think Daigo replaces most of that with pure sadness, especially for this scene. After Takeda-sensei lectures him good and proper, and he accepts that he needs to leave, he just sounds so broken. It doesn’t have that anger and drive underneath, he’s just in despair. And why wouldn’t he be? A part of him understands this is the last match he’ll ever play with this team, his first real team.

We then see Hinata bundled up in a coat and scarf, watching the rest of the match from the tablet that Kenma gives him. Snow begins to fall on the stage as he slowly wanders through it, with Karasuno and Kamomedai finishing out the rest of the match around him. Engeki Haikyuu has always allowed for the losing team in a match to line up at the edge of the stage, say thank you to the audience, bow, and take their leave. It’s so symbolic, and it’s so emotional for the actors and for the audience who are in the theater. It’s a moment that just barely breaks the fourth wall, when they turn to us, the spectators, to say, “Thank you for your support.” And they mean it both in and out of character. And I was so so so sad when I realized that Karasuno would take their final bow as a team without Hinata in the lineup. He’s in the back of the stage, separated from his team, and he does take a bow, but it’s very lonely.

Now, I’m sure people are very curious about the timeskip material, and mostly I just have to preface with: it’s fast. It does not take up as much of Act 2 as you might think. It’s boom, boom, boom, cameo here, pre-recorded projections there, patissier Tendou interview, Kuroo in a suit doing a promotional commercial for the V-League, Kageyama’s curry commercial, a projected Osamu selling his rice balls, get the old team together, fateful encounters in front of the bathroom, GO! The only thing we see of the Brazil arc is Hinata having a brief flashback to tell Kageyama that he met Oikawa while he was in Brazil. It’s very short, and that’s all we get for his time in Brazil. Basically, the play is not the place to see Hinata’s journey and growth from those chapters because he goes through so much of it alone, and there’s just no time. The Brazil arc also brings back a lot of technical details about volleyball itself, especially as Hinata is learning the beach version, and that’s an area where the manga is the best medium to examine the finer details of the sport. I can see why a play version would gloss over the technical details to focus on the emotional arc, which is in this case, Hinata and Kageyama.

Because of how fast the ending is, it definitely feels made for the people who already read the manga; Previous Engeki Haikyuu shows have always presented the story in a way that was very friendly to those who may not have read the manga or watched the anime. You could watch just Engeki Haikyuu and not feel like you were missing out on references/jokes for the most part, but this ending would be way harder to follow for those not familiar with what’s already happened.

It’s difficult because I do feel like Act 2 was overly condensed to wrap up this story, but I also don’t think the timeskip material is enough for a whole play on its own. If we had stopped at the end of the Kamomedai match, and had a whole separate play to cover Brazil and the Jackals vs Adlers match… the pacing would’ve been slow and low energy especially in the first half, and it would be an odd choice for the final show of a series like this. My preference would have been for this play to have been three acts, three hours, so that we could linger on some of those timeskip moments a little more, slow it down, and let them land emotionally. But clearly the covid situation prevents that in this case. That being said, I don’t think any of those timeskip moments could really hit as hard as when I first read them in the manga. Narratively, that Haikyuu timeskip was so unexpected and so outside the normal sports anime formula, that the initial shock is extremely hard to top. It was fun to see how they presented everyone in the future (seeing Noya on that boat catching a giant swordfish, or seeing Ennoshita almost break a patient’s back) in stage form, but it’s unreasonable to expect them to give us the same feeling of ?!?!?!? when we first read that Noya was in Italy of all places after waiting weeks and weeks for him to show up.

I still cried in several places, it’s still a great ending to one of the best 2.5D franchises in existence, and it still feels like the culmination of their legacy. I don’t know how it would be possible for anyone to watch that ending sequence with all of the team flags and the chanting of their names, and NOT cry.

There are no more live streams until they complete the rest of their tour and then there will be a live-stream of the very last show, which I will be watching with a towel in hand for my tears. Feel free to send in any questions if you’d like, and if you would like some Strongest Challengers or Trash Heap merch, I have a sales post that I recently made.

#Haisute #Engeki Haikyuu #Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu #Final Show #View from the Top 2 #review #reviews #2300 word vomit for any who are interested

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kyotakumrau · 4 years

Text

A thread with the 1st slot report from azifxxx, Zepp Tokyo with Kyo and Shinya

F: Hello everyone at Zepp Tokyo! I'm DIR's manager Fujieda.

T: I'm manager Takabayashi.

F: today in Tokyo it's the last day (...) now I'd like to invite two band members to start the talk event! Give them applause!

Shinya arrives, then Kyo.

Kyo wore a black beret and big glasses, blackish grey jacket, some yellow badge on the left side? and grey denim. Shinya (Yamo-chan) wore all black, double jacket? it looked very soft. When entering the stage Kyo did 'Fujifuji pose' to F...

F: today Kyo and Shinya came to the event! How are you doing, the two of you?

S: I'm always fine. 24h a day. Just got bit foolish in Sendai due to snow...

K: yeah... I'm also good...

F: for both of you it's your second time, going straight to the point what's the most impactful/memorable thing in 2020 for you?

S: not COVID?

F: from the band's point of view it is.

S: it didn't feel like being in a band. There were no concerts at all.

F: for you, Kyo? (pretending to eat)

K: PS5.

S: I see.

K: I couldn't get it. That's all I can think about.

S: I want it too, but not that much... can you play Dead by Daylight on PS5? having ps4 edition?

K: you can.

S: then I want it. I also applied for it, but as I wasn't contacted I don't think I won.

F: there's nothing besides PS5?

K: the fan who said in the message they're getting it next day, they are probably playing right now.. I get angry again when I think about it. And not just a bit....(F: what would you do if after you got PS5?) Eh? I have to say it each time？💢 (makes dissatisfied sound and turns away, for a while stays silent)

F passes them the merch items.

S&K: ... (silently checking the items)

When prompted to say something

S: mini water bottle.. is for when you go out for a bit...

K: is that a pig?

S: it's a bear

But it has 3 fingers? The hoofs?

S: a bear isn't like that?

K: but only 3 fingers?!

K: you draw 3 or 4 fingers for a bear! A horse gets 2! is the claw here (between the fingers?)? the claws come out here (pointing back of the hand)?

S: there are no fingers there (in the back of the hand)

K: and it is listening standing in front of the speaker? Its ears will get bad! Listening to such loud sound in front of the speaker! you will go nuts!

F: so Kyo, you were praising the choker a lot in Osaka.

K: ... (looks at the choker) ...(starts to tie the choker)...(puts the choker in front of F)

F: it can be tied up? Is that a good point? Ah, you mean that it can be displayed like this? It's a very popular item so everyone please get one!

Today there are only two tables, on the right (kamite) sits Shinya with Takabayashi, on the left (shimote) Fujieda with Kyo

F: any no-no topics for the questions? (S says nothing) I hope it’ going to be interesting... what kind of outfit are you wearing today?

S: I’m wearing black... the hood is...(hesitates) like Penyu

K: (smiling😊)

S: I realized today that it’s like Penyu. Not because Kyo came today as well.

K: suddenly getting closer, feels bad

F: Kyo... today you’re also wearing a total outfit idea?

K: you think there’s a theme?

F: a bit... like in an older coffee shop.... cafe... like sitting in a coffee shop...

K: it’s monochrome checkers!

F who got told it's checkers went 'i see~'

K: what, so today's theme is let's have a smoke or let's go to a cafe?

The usual atmosphere... like Kyo who always corners F until he's lost what to say

Ta chooses a question: 'what's the memorable small (v-kei) venue for the band members?'

S: Area or Cyber recently got closed, right? I really don't remember... didn't we only play at Rock-may-kan? I think no small venues [we played at] are left in Kansai? only Cowboy or Muse Hall.

K: I guess only Rock-may-kan.

Ta: how about for Shibere Bajiru?

K: with going straight to Shibire (like paying too much attention?), is that a shoulder pad. No? I wanted to see~

F: Cyber, Area is a very sad news... K, you don't have any [venues]?

K: not really...

Ta: 'what's the book you've recently read or a movie you've seen?'

S: ehm... nothing much... I also don't really read manga. But I've seen Demon Slayer. I got into it after watching anime.

K: heh, about Demon Slayer, I ordered the comics to be delivered, but only volumes 4~8 came. Am I supposed to start from vol 4? Wouldn't it be horrible? don't wanna start there

K: there's this thing I have, only get into it after it stops being so popular. I also didn't watch yesterday.

F: what kind of books do you read?

K: I read various things ... but I'm really excited about the new story from the Innocent.

Ta: 'what's your kanji of the year?'

S: 心・kokoro from 心夜・Shinya

Ta: isn't that the same every year?

K: for me... nothing really.

Ta: what was it this year (officially)?

S: 密・mitsu・crowd/carefulness, right?

K: (still trying to think) ...nothing really.

F: 'if you were to play on a different position in a band?'

S: by elimination only the guitar is left.

K: not the vocals? You're going for the guitar??

S: I'm not going for the vocals...

K: but you sing in karaoke?

S: I can't sing...

K: there's emotional singing! You're often angry!

S: I haven't gotten angry in 10+ years

K: but you sing the chorus!

S: but there's only short phrase with the chorus...

K: but you're doing lotsa of choruses

S: well... I'm practicing...but vocals are the most impossible for me...

'If you done something else than vocals?'

K: Takumi's position is good, watching the band members from the side, if it's something else than vocals then from the side is good.

S: but you like bass? That's the only idea I have for you.

K: that's only when song writing though!?

S: but you've been playing everywhere, right?

K: where everywhere? I haven't!

S: you have that time... (=sukekiyo)

Ta: aren't we going fast today? 'is there any country you'd like to visit?'

S: if possible I don't want to go...

K: but you're always going somewhere alone. To play board games etc

S: it only happened because I was already going.

Ta: Kyo doesn't want to go like "I'm!Not!Going!"

K: I'm playing a bit online games (Fortnite), but I'm told I suck at it. When you suck at something it's usually better to quit, I'm told so, many times, why is this guy going that way or is he going to the enemy's site on purpose? I'm told things like that from 6:30 in the morning sometimes.

K: if I (my heart) get broken by that how should I continue living?

S: I'm being told 'how are you living?'. I'm using the pig character but it feels like I'm living like a pig. I can block out the talk, but I'd rather hear those terrible opinions.

K: but it's hard

S: it is really hard.

K: when I played with Fujieda it was going well! He told me, get down or make your nose bigger

S: it also went well when we played, don't go there, let's go there and so on.

K: but the fights take about 20 mins in DbD, right? I'm dead in Fortnite in about 10 seconds

Ta: 'what do you like about F?'

S: he's always full of energy and almost never gets sad

K: his nose? Doesn't it get bigger as you look at it?

F: is that a praise?

K: it's easy to breathe and the mask stays on. Hands down it's your nose.

F: 'what song would you like to listen to very loudly?'

S: I'm not good with loud sounds... I prefer to listen quietly.

F: what do you listen to nowadays?

S: our new song(s)

K: I also don't want to listen (loudly), not really...

F: how about a song to listen quietly?

K: nothing special

F: Fujifuji!x

K: (ignoring him) (removes invisible dust from his shoulder)

Ta: 'what would you ask Santa for?'

S: it would be PS5?

K: Me? After all of that, I don't need it anymore, don't come. How does he get inside? There is no chimney. Is he picking a lock? Is Santa like a cockroach? Pretending to be dead when they're not... but maybe Santa is fine with all of that.

K: in the past, when I was in elementary school I was happy when Santa came, but then at some point he stopped coming. Wasn't that a crime (Santa's visits)? and parents also don't know how he comes in, isn't that scary? And from that time he doest come. I don't want him to come anymore.

'What song do you want to play when you can do concerts again?'

S: And Zero. I saod that in Sendai as well, but if it's not mode of Arche we probably won't...

Kyo: I don't really have one..

F: Do you want to play new songs?

K: I haven't listen to it (them). Isn't it how it is that you listen to them even when you weren't planning to? you dot feel like listening so much to the song you made yourself, no?

S: I also haven't listened to the new song(s) much.

Ta: Fujieda is listening to new songs a lot, in a car.

K: isn't that a bit narcissistic?

F: you don't want to perform new songs?

S: I already did while filming the music videos... doesn't that count?

'what time you go to bed and wake up?'

S: I go to bed at 6 and wake up at 1pm. It's my cycle.

K: I go to sleep at 1 and wake up around half nine. Should be around then? So there's someone who wants to know information like this?

F: they want to imagine (their lives)

K: and for what? Even if they know the time they don't know what we do

K: what time you wake up and then what time do you make coffee, make a toast, I don't understand why asking that, what's the point?

F: Shinya, is there something you'd like to know about Kyo?

S: I want to know everything.

K: I hate it that this person is called a doctor.

F: when the band has just started you two have met as first, right? What was your impression then?

S: I thought he's a really good person.

K: ...Oh?

F: And did you hit it off/became friends?

K: he didn't speak like this then. He spoke one or two things a day. He had long black hair and earrings.

S: You've bleached that black hair for me.

K: and, he said 'thank you' but... he said his kanji of the year is 心・heart, but he's the one without one. For over 20 years all band members are saying that he's like a robot or humanoid. When you go to his house he will reply with 'what is it?' with the chain on the door.

S: this is because when a certain member came some things happened...

K: But when I came over I was nice! I want to visit! Remodel stuff! (with enthusiasm)

S: remodeling... (like the certain member) there are issues like that and that's why you're banned...

'is it weird if your mother comes to the concerts?'

K: isn't it okay?

S: and brings dad...

K: I'd love to see mother headbanging. The deep one when you start from waist!

F: do your parents come to the shows?

S: mine often come.

F: your parents as well, Kyo?

K: sometimes.

F: is it something you welcome?

K: yeah.

And then F asked when they came last time but probably T said nlt to ask something like that

About the avatar Music Clip for the 12/31 stream.

S: the video looks like PS2 game..

K: like that from Virtua Fighter.

The last comments

Shinya: Thank you for today. I think we won't be able to meet for a while, but there will be the nye stream and also a knot calendars, I hope you will spend the next year using them. Let's meet again.

Kyo: We couldn't meet at all this year, but after this long time seeing everyone's faces I calm down. I think it's a good thing. Everyone knows through social media what others are doing, but it is important to meet in person. We will be looking into concert plans, hope you stay tuned and thank you.

#dir en grey #kyo #京 #shinya #the world you live in #zepp tokyo

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sealer-of-wenkamui · 3 years

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Ciaran Character Analysis

I’ve been thinking a lot about Ciaran over the last few months, so I wanted to try and collect my thoughts and do a proper character analysis of sorts. Of course, things are highly open to interpretation in Dark Souls, so this is just how I read her character and the reasons why.

First of all, I actually don’t think she was together with Artorias for a number of reasons. She almost certainly had feelings for him, but I think she tried to hide them, and perhaps didn’t fully understand them. For one, she simply speaks of him as a “dear friend”, and while this could also be taken as her keeping their relationship secret, there is no description or unused dialogue from Artorias’ side hinting at it either. I also wonder if her unused dialogue where she calls him a “dear companion” was changed because it sounds too openly affectionate. In Gough’s unused dialogue he states that she had “strong feelings” for him, which is worded like they were one sided instead of in a relationship. And while he might have realized it, Gough is also the most perceptive of the Knights, even realizing that the fire will one day fade, while Artorias strikes me as being much more oblivious. Finally, her dying words come across like the confession of a dying woman, one who was never able to say her feelings in life, so she at least will say them now that she has nothing to lose. Interestingly enough, they’re also unsubtitled- words meant not for you, but for Artorias and for herself.

One of the biggest reasons why I think she would hide her feelings is her position. She is one of four Knights of Gwyn, entrusted with a special soul, and despite her appearance, she is considered something more than human, and seems to have disdain for humans (as seen by her dialogue when you attack her, or even just the way she says “human” in her unused dialogue).

I don’t think it’s the case that she’s human while the others are not just because she’s small, since size seems to be easily variable based on the state of the soul, for example Ornstein grows in size upon absorbing the soul of Smough, or Gael, much larger than your average person after consuming the dark souls of the pygmies. Perhaps even Artorias was a normal size to begin with.

Ultimately the gods and these demigod-like existences with their special souls aren’t all that different from humans, but the important thing is that they are considered as such, so she would be too. Humanity is constantly linked with the dark throughout the series. And even someone as kindhearted as Artorias, who believes in the goodness of humanity, thinks of the dark as something evil, something to be feared (In fact he words it as believing them to be more than just dark in his unused dialogue). One of the four Knights of the man who sacrificed himself to stave off the Age of Dark would want nothing to do with the dark. Yet feelings, and especially feelings of love, are a very human thing (just look at the pursuers/affinity description for example). That alone seems like the strongest reason to hide any feelings she might have for Artorias, to refuse to acknowledge that human side of her, to repress them and pretend they don’t exist.

Even more so than the other knights she comes across as having something to prove, as someone that has worked so hard to reach the distinguished status she has and doesn’t want anything to take that from her. The lightning arrow description mentions that female knights were rare to begin with, and she was able to work her way up to being one of Gwyn’s most trusted. The porcelain mask description mentions how determined she was to earn it as a decoration of honor (I imagine she first became an especially distinguished Lord’s Blade before becoming one of the four), and the English description actually leaves out another interesting fact- that it’s decorated with her own hair. The wording makes it sound like she cut her own hair to decorate that mask. This makes it seem like she wanted to stand out and make a name for herself- giving herself a distinct look that would come to be feared by all enemies of Lord Gwyn.

On the level of character design, her mask is what she’s most known for, the hornet ring description in DS3 even drawing attention to it. This comes across as a very deliberate choice reflecting her character- as she is a woman whose mask is more than just physical, someone who is perpetually hiding her “human” side. Her mask gives her an otherworldly look, like something beyond humans and reflects her “divine” self. Her purpose in life is to strike down any and all enemies of her Lord, and she has worked so hard towards that alone, almost as if she’s trying to become the mask she wears. Even though I think she might be able to relax a little around the other knights and especially Artorias, she comes across as a very serious woman that doesn’t truly know much about herself outside of her job. Interestingly, her face under the mask is just the default female face in-game, as if she truly isn’t meant to be seen without it!

No matter how much she tries to repress her feelings though, a mask is still just a mask, and they don’t disappear just because she wants them to. She has strong feelings for Artorias, a darkness she desperately wants to hide. Despite being a Knight of Gwyn, I tend to associate her with the darkness as a result, and even her name may be a reflection of that as well. Ciaran is common Irish boy’s name (Ciara is a girl’s name but she specifically has the masculine form of the name, a decision I also think was intentional and may tie into her being the only woman of the four and how rare female knights were) and looking around, she doesn’t seem to be named after any famous Ciaran as far as I know. So, what is the meaning of the name? Little dark one. A name associated with darkness seems especially significant in this series, and her struggle with her own humanity is central to her character, something that even her name itself betrays.

Since female knights are apparently rare, and she has an especially high-ranking position, I think she would also want to hide her feelings out of fear of being seen as just a girl in love. I also think its interesting how the hornet ring description also draws attention to the fact that she’s the only woman of the four, and how her name is almost exclusively used for boys, and I wonder if she went by the title of “sir” as well. At the same time, her appearance is the distinctly feminine look shared by all the Lord’s Blades, even using her own hair as well, so it’s not something she’s hiding either.

In addition to being the lone woman of the four, I also got the impression that she’s the youngest and last to join the Knights, which may further add to the feeling of needing to prove herself.

The main reason why actually comes from her speech pattern, when you compare it to the rest of the characters seen in that time period, it stands out. While Elizabeth, Dusk, Gough, and even Artorias all speak in an old-fashioned manner, she noticeably does not, except for “May the Lord guide thee” which sounds like a set phrase anyone serving Gwyn might say. If it was tied to status, then she would speak that way as well, she’s hardly trying to hide it (and besides we see other characters opposed to the gods that speak in the same way, like the hollow outside the Ringed City or Yuria). Maybe she did come from a more humble upbringing and that could be why, but with how varied the characters that do speak like that are I don’t think that’s it (and even some clearly noble characters don’t, like Lothric or Oceiros). So I wonder if its simply because she was born later once speech styles had changed.

Her position also makes sense if so as well, she’s an assassin, so even if she wasn’t around until after the Age of Fire had begun and Gwyn had gained status, that’s exactly when you would need a skilled assassin to eliminate your enemies. In other words, she’s not a dragonslayer, so it still makes sense if she is younger.

Going back to her feelings, the way I see it is that Artorias being consumed by the Abyss and killed is what finally forced her to face them- she’s not able to recognize just how strong they are until the man himself is gone. Perhaps she planned to kill him herself as she was in the area, but realized she couldn’t, or rather that she would almost surely hesitate and get herself killed. In a way, its almost a relief the chosen undead came along and killed him instead, she understood it was something that needed to be done, and though she doesn’t seem to like humans very much, she doesn’t hold anything against you. You find her immediately after killing Artorias, so she almost certainly would have been the one to find his corpse and make that small memorial, as if she wanted to make sure it would be her and no one else to find him. Despite being the kind of person who would always be watching her back, you find her kneeling in prayer, not so much as turning to look at you when you approach, and you can even easily attack her from behind in such a state. As if simply being there in prayer was the most important thing in that moment- and she surely has a lot of thoughts going through her head and a lot of feelings hitting her all at once. At this point, she can’t lie to herself, and even if she couldn’t confess while he was alive, if you take her life, she’ll at least do it before she dies.

When you speak to her, she seems to have no interest in you outside of obtaining Artorias’ soul, with only his will stopping her from taking it from you. She claims she wants to pay proper respect to him with it, but at the moment, his actual grave hasn’t been made yet, so I imagine she might take it into herself for a while until that point.

As to her eventual fate, I do think its likely she’s the corpse found behind his grave that has the hornet ring. At first I wondered why someone of her status wouldn’t have a proper burial, but in time, not many people are going to that grave, and those that do don’t return, so it may simply be she died after it was forgotten, and her corpse was never found.

The fact that she will give you her tracers if you give her his soul implies she gives up being a Knight of Gwyn (they’ve half fallen apart at that point anyway), but she doesn’t strike me as the type to kill herself right then and there, I think it would be a slow wasting away and curling up to die behind the grave of the man she loved. She (nor Gough) drop the special souls that they should have as part of the four… and while it may simply be to not further encourage people to kill them, if that soul is what gives them a long life (Ornstein is somehow still around after all) she may have purposely given it up so that she may eventually die… or maybe its after she receives his soul and she keeps both hers and his at his grave.

Finally, her ring ends up in the untended graves in DS3, and while there are a number of reasons you can come up with for how it ended up there, I feel like the most important part is the symbolic meaning behind it- for it is found by a grave with a Farron greatsword, one of the types modeled after that of Artorias’. It feels as if even in death, her feelings linked the two of them together.

While not nearly as direct, even DS2 has a parallel to Ciaran in the form of Alsanna. Much like Ciaran, you find her kneeling in prayer mourning her lost love, who also happens to be a left-handed swordsman who sacrificed himself and got corrupted and even has (several) animal companions. (DS2 also is where its mentioned that Artorias was left-handed, and its consistently used to mark characters paralleling him, even in Bloodborne with Ludwig.) Her soul even gives you a pair of curved swords. Parallels can also be drawn between the other three knights and people closely associated with the fragments of Manus, but only Ciaran parallels the child of dark herself, further deepening her association with the dark.

More directly, DS3 has the Dancer and Vordt, two knights who seem to honor Ciaran and Artorias’ legacy, and were always seen together- in fact you can see phantoms of what seems to be them before they were transformed into beasts walking the streets of Irithyll together (Vordt too, is left-handed). Despite how she tried to hide her feelings, I think it may have been her ring that betrayed them, so they ended up being remembered together. The Pontiff Knights in general also have a great deal of similarity to the Lord’s Blades, somewhat in armor design but mostly in their job, being described as Sulyvahn’s “punitive blades”. The Dancer herself most notably has two curved blades that look remarkably similar to Ciaran’s tracers in shape, as well as being gold and silver, even wielding the gold one in her left hand like she did.

There are probably more little details I could add, but this is already long, and I’ve covered the major points that I’ve thought a lot about. I tried to explain my reasoning as best as possible too, but there’s plenty of stuff that’s unknown and that’s half the fun. Feel free to comment, I love Ciaran and I love to think about her and discuss her!

#Dark Souls #Ciaran #Lord's Blade Ciaran #I've been dwelling on her ever since i met her in DS1....#i love her.....#i don't really write much but i've been posting a looot of thoughts about her on twitter and stuff #so i wanted to try making something somewhat cohesive to collect them all #didn't even get into little details like how cute it is how her voice softens when she talks about Artorias #or my delusions about how she might have initially reacted to his death #but i got the important points!#enjoy?#I hope i can make everyone appreciate her just a little bit more~

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chronicalchaos · 3 years

Text

Wick modern AU: Explained +Some fun facts

Uhm, i was gonna wait until i finish this AU's synopsis and new book cover, but both will be taking a while until they get ready...

And i wanted to post this "overview" for a while now, anyways, here's some fun facts and a summary of the story:

Old book cover:

I'm really proud of Sam's shading, but the twins look weird and Tom looks old...I won't use this cover, 'cus Travis and Duncan are main characters as well and i want to include them on the cover. +My art style changed!

Story summary:

Just a quick thing! I changed quite a few things to fit the narrative and the modern days setting, i hope you understand!

The story of this AU happens in September 2014, a little less than a month until Sam’s birthday, where the Weavers aren't dead– Well, most of them aren't...

The narrative is centered on a curse, that was based on the audio that plays when you pick up Benny's bible, where 7 people are affected by it: Tim, Tom, John, Sam, John's brother/Sam's dad(I won't name him), Mary and James.

Sam's, Travis' and Duncan's side of the story will be more on the investigative side maybe with a bit of comedy(I'm not good with writing that, so it will most likely be just investigation), while Tim and Tom's side will be the more angst and unusual/horror side. Sam will have a bit of horror as well, since he's linked with them by the curse, but the twins will definitely have the spotlight when it comes to horror/unusual stuff.

Fun Facts:

General:

The story happens a week, maybe a bit more, after summer break

Even tho one of the first chapters is set on school, them going to school will probably just be mentioned or implied, Example: Them leaving a school bus

For some reason, i saw a few stories where everyone knew what polio is and how it works, which i felt it wouldn't be realistic, so that won't happen here

It has a lot of paranormal stuff

The summer camp by the Weaver's property is closed and has been like that for a few years now

Just Mary and James call the twins Changelings, the rest of the city knows there are "changelings" walking around, just, not that the twins are them

There's no changelings, they think there is, but in reality it's just a curse(like that's something lighter than a demon switched with a child at birth)

The song that helps me get in the mood of this story when I'm writing is "Far too young to die" by Panic! At the disco

Timas Weaver:

Tim is 12, he'll be 13 in...approximately 3 months

He was born December 30th 2001 and is the oldest between him and Tom

He's almost an inch shorter than Tom

He has a huge burn scar! It goes from a bit more than half of his chest, both his arms, his palms and his whole neck, he got that scar when he was 3 years old

He's does not have asthma, but he does have extreme pyrophobia on it's place

He has flat affect, his face doesn't match his emotions/he looks serious most of the time(I'm so sorry if I don't portrait it right! Please give me constructive criticism if I do something wrong here!)

He's a theater kid and would be quoting a lot of musicals if Mary didn't isolate him and Tom from the world(The theater part only exists because of his and Tom's masks)

The whittling thing exists here, but like, it won't be of much importance to the story, the knife will! But not the whittle part

He despises spiders and it's Tom's fault!

He climbs trees (there's not much I can say here to be honest)

He has this...i don't know if you can call it a quirk, but, he tends to tilt his head to the left, it's kinda random

He's ambidextrous, was left handed, but Mary forced him to learn to use his right hand

He teached himself how to throw knifes...don't mess with him

Paranoia!

Needs therapy

Tomathy Weaver:

Tom is 12 and will be 13 in approximately 3 months

He was born December 30th 2001 and is the youngest between him and Tim

He's almost an inch taller than Tim

He doesn't have Polio now, he did when he was...around 5 years old

His left leg is bigger than his right one, his right feet reaches his left ankle

His left ankle is paralyzed, that's why he uses a leg brace

He's claustrophobic, he developed that on the same day Tim got his scar and pyrophobia

He won first place on a spelling bee before he got Polio and he used to spell when he got anxious, but after John's disappearence he started shuddering, shaking and cracking his joints instead, very similar to how he shudders on the game

He loves spiders!

He is really flexible, but, because of his polio, he can't play around with it anymore

He likes to draw

He has pretty bad scoliosis

Paranoia #2!

Socially awkward baby

Went to therapy when little, needs to go back

Caleb Weaver:

Caleb is 9 years old

He was born August 19th 2005

He's almost the same height as Timas

He was a year old when Tom had polio

He's actually James' kid, not John's

He won first place in 2014's(the year the story happens) county track meet

He dislikes Tim

Lillian Weaver:

Lillian is 5 years old

She was born February 28th 2009

She's a bit tall for her age

She's notorious for making little deals between her and her siblings, like helping them get away with something in exchange of something(getting her out of class during their recess, buying a new plushy, etc.)

She's a really curious and affectionate kid, loves hugs, kisses and especially being picked on someone's lap

She loves bunnies(even tho this isn't a surprise)

Benjamin Weaver:

Benjamin is 14 years old and will be 15 in less then a month

He was born October 24th 1999

He's just really tall compared to the twins (it's kinda funny, Tim and Tom are 4 years older than Caleb, but they are just an inch taller than him)

He's really religious and prays a lot for his siblings' health and safety

He's been trying to take care of Tom after John's disappearence, since Mary doesn't do it, much the opposite, she hides Tom's medicines on purpose

Mary Weaver:

I didn't give her neither an age nor a birthday...i probably need to do that

She had an affair with James, when the twins were 4 and Benny was 6, Caleb was born from this affair

She doesn't hit any of her kids, but she does neglect most of them

On the nights between Saturday and Sunday, she doesn't sleep, she spends this time praying with a candle, then, before they go to church, she writes everything that happened that night on her diary

She has a lot of diaries, she keeps them in the attic

She's a little bitch(i don't know what else to say about her)

Pastor James McAlroy:

James also doesn't have an age nor birthday (i only have the Weaver kids and Sam's birthdays)

He won't appear much, but he does have a big role on the story

He's Caleb's biological dad(i mentioned that like 3 times already)

He tried doing a "honest-to-god exorcism" on the twins, it was just a cover for an attempt of murder

He's a toxic little shit(there's not much I can say about him)

Samuel Burton:

Sam is 12 years old and will be 13 in less than a month

He was born in October 2nd 2001

Him and Travis are Brothers on their mom's part

He's cousin with the Weavers, minus Caleb, they just don't know each other

He can be just as smug as Travis sometimes

He absolutely hates going on ghost hunting, he thinks it's dumb

He has long hair and freckles all over his body

He's just too lazy to tie his own shoes

He's the only one that remembers to bring a backpack when ghost hunting

While Travis is the camera man, he's the flashlight guy

Travis Burton:

Travis is 15 years old and i don't have a birthday for him, well, he would be born in 1999 just like Benny

He doesn't like wearing glasses, but doesn't have other choice, he either doesn't take proper care of his lenses and gets his eyes irritated or he just lost them

He's the face of his and Duncan's channel

He tries to drag Sam to be part of the channel, but he doesn't really want to be part of it

He cusses way too much

He's brave, only because he goes face first into danger without thinking

Duncan:

Duncan is 15 and would also be born in 1999

Big ass coward, sends Travis and Sam to go investigate on his place every fucking time

Entitled as fuck

The "brain" behind his and Travis' channel

He's suspiciously good on researching, he'll find the most unexpected things about you

He's a little shit as well

...i think that's it! Now i can go continue the first chapter and maybe finish it soon

#wick (2015)#travis burton #wick hellbent games #tom weaver #tim weaver #caleb Weaver #lillian weaver #benny weaver #mary weaver #sam #duncan #wick #modern au #wick au

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wordsoflittlewisdom · 4 years

Text

Watching bop again

I kinda forgot Cass was at the roller derby game. Love how all the characters are connected

Why does Roman’s voice...sound like that

Boss Bitch is weirdly nostalgic now

I like that the whole roller derby team is wearing like. team jackets. and harleys got her whole fringe sleeves thing going on

YES LOVE WHEN SHE THROWS THE NECKLACE AWAY

The chemical plant blowing up as fireworks was a very Harley choice

“So I’ll start where I fucking want” four minutes ago

huntress huntress huntress huntress huntress

I read somewhere that this huntress and Montoya scene was one take and they just changed the lighting to show the change

romans middle name being beauvais is probably the clearest clue they could have given that he was from a rich family

Love that Renee finds the necklace and knows Harley and the joker broke up. I like this idea that superheroes/villains are kinda like celebrities in this world

The egg sandwich scene is great what more can I say

Love that there’re cars and people just living their lives in this city

It’s a crime that we never see Harley wear this glittery fanny pack

The music is really good in this

It’s neat how the line between her narration and her dialogue is blurred, like how she’ll say the first part of something in narration and the second part in dialogue

Huntress’s little flute theme

And Montoya knows Cass; c o n n e c t i o n s

Montoya’s been going after Roman, too

And now we’re flipping back to the bertinelli massacre and diamond

Even if the whole missing diamond plot isn’t that unique, everything’s woven together so neatly

And now Dinah and Renee are on the phone about Cass and the diamond

It’s all connected

Harleys whole “I’m here to report a terrible crime”—she could have just run in there but she wanted to be Dramatic

I do wish the vocals were a little louder here maybe?

Big fan of this fight choreography

Harley pausing on a frame where she’s making a weird face before rewinding to explain about the diamond—it’s so rare to ever get to see women like. making weird faces in movies. All the women in his this are gorgeous but they don’t always have to be; they look beat up after fights and get dirty and make weird faces and it’s great

Dinah singing? Exceptional

“Loans, liquidity, laundering” ah yes the three L’s of illegal business

I unironically listen to Black Canary’s man’s world.

I like that everyone just calls Dinah “Canary”

“I’m all on my lonesome. It’s great” Harleys even an unreliable narrator when she’s just talking

I’ve really never seen a movie that feel like it’s from the female gaze visually as much as this one—all the rings and earrings, the hair, the makeup, it feels like what women might fantasize about dressing like

Dinah yelling “you motherfucker!” While beating some creeps up is quality

What time of day is it? Dinah would probably be leaving early in the morning, but I Refuse to believe that Roman would be awake particularly early any morning

She either canary is leaving her nightclub singing gig in the late morning/early afternoon or roman is still awake from the night before and is going to go to sleep soon

Cass and Dinah in the same building. (Bernie voice): I am once again talking about the connections

I’ve riffed on this before but i refuse to believe that Roman can drive

This Dinah and Renee scene establishes character, backstories, and moves the plot along all at once

Jesus some of ewan mcgregor’s acting in this is painfully bad

I love that Cass has a big bomber jacket and longer, looser shorts

Jurnee’s abs wow

The lights from behind the hands with the eyes behind Harley, who’s surrounded by people and then Roman and Victor emerge from the back, whispering to each other? Beautiful

One of the grievances roman has against Harley is “constantly interrupting him, like I’m doing right now”

Harleys “you’re really not as complicated as you think” bit is almost satirical of this cult we’ve created of “complicated” white male movie villains who have massive fan followings (cough cough joker)

Interesting that Roman holds the knife to Harleys face but hands it off to Victor to do that actual cutting

Someone handed Roman a bowl of popcorn

Harleys pocket tampon

It’s diamonds are a girls best friend yeah babey!

The male backup dancers are wearing muzzles/masks (Roman has one too for a split second) is an interesting flip on the way women are typically the ones being silenced, as well as Harleys desire to silence the men around her and be the one telling and controlling her own narrative

“Hey! you’re that singer no one listens to!” “Hey! You’re the asshole no one likes!”

Harley with her glitter gun

Harleys reaction when the sprinklers go off is perfect—Margot makes her feel like a living cartoon

This cell block fight scene is a showstopper

I like that cass doesn’t immediately want to stay with Harley. It gives her some agency in a story where she’s mostly just following the curveballs life throws her

Harleys little stare straight into the camera when cass admits to eating the diamond

Harley at the grocery store really emphasizes that she’s a total weirdo

I think I heard somewhere that the pic of child Harley with the nuns is a pic of young Margot??? Not totally sure though

Cass not knowing who the joker is goes with the whole supers are like celebrities thing—cass probably follows a whole different group of them (like how most kids follow different celebrities than their parents)

Huntress huntress huntresssss

“Give me number 32. Mild”

This kid in helenas flashback doesn’t really look like she’s grow up to look like Mary Elizabeth Winstead

This filming in this flashback has so much style

Helena practicing in the bathroom mirror with her drawing and her multiple bottles of travel mouthwash

We’re in the scene where Roman makes the girl dance on the table and oh god it’s so uncomfortable

No no no no no not this hate this

Alright that nightmare’s done

“and that’s why you should never pay federal income taxes”

Harley offering to bring cass to Roman after hearing doc say “business is business is interesting

OH ITS HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT TIME

Dinahs car is yellow because it’s...canary yellow

Roman putting on the mask is cool and all but he’s just gonna have to take it back off to get changed

This Harley vs Renee fight is fun because they keep mirroring each other—they’re fighting each other, but they’re really on the same side

The way the women all kind of circle each other at first and don’t immediately get along

Cass popping up with the gun also gives her some agency—she’s at the end of her rope with the diamond and being betrayed by Harley

“I am nOT THE CROSSBOW KILLER”

The way Huntress sounds so uncertain when she says “...and now I’m done” Mary’s acting really popped off

Roman’s a bitch but I like his outfits

Helenas little smile when Harley says “you just killed his BFF”

I love how excited Harley is when they all agree to work together

Roman’s giving his little speech in the back of a pickup truck?

When all the guys turned around with masks on I got chills

“I love this chick she’s got rage issues.” “I DONT HAVE RAGE ISSUES”

Huntress stabbing the guy while going down the slide is peak cinema

This set lights up as the scene progresses and reveals more

I love love love that Helena is genuinely caring towards Cass and recognizing that children shouldn’t have to go through trauma like her

“When the fuck did she have time to do a shoe change?”

THE HAIR TIE YEAH

Forgot to mention this but it’s a stroke of genius for this place to be called the booby trap

Love me some canary cry

“Told ya she had a killer voice”

Harleys chase was a real group hurrah—the canary cry cleared the way and pushed her forward, Huntress towed her, Renee gave her the gun with one bullet

Cass and Roman are just sitting in the back seat. That must have been an awkward car ride

Cass pulling the gun away from Roman when he tries to shoot up at Harley when Harleys on top of the car is elite

Damn this is one foggy pier

When Harley starts with “your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you” you expect her to say that it’s wrong or something but she says “I’m the one they should be scared of” this movie messed with tropes so much

That also includes the whole “one bullet” thing—Harley misses with her one bullet, and you don’t really know what’s gonna happen next

“I took your ring”

You can pinpoint exactly when Harley and Roman realize what Cass did

I’d put the entire taco scene here if I could

Renee moving the drink away from cass shows her caring side—she doesn’t want a kid to get into alcohol and make the mistakes she did

“Does she always talk like the cop in a bad eighties movie?”

Harley and Cass stealing the car is a fun way to show that she may be on the side of the good guys sometimes, but that doesn’t necessarily make her one

“Woman” by Kesha

Wow the outfits in this scene are iconic

I mean they are in the whole movie but I especially like these

Cass riding around with Harley and a hyena, wearing cute outfits and learning the ways of chaos

Harley got her sandwich!

The credit art for this movie is cool

Especially how they represent each character

In conclusion this is still my favorite movie

I know I’ve been kinda absent recently, but watching this again has really reminded me how much I love it. I got really busy but I’m going to Make An Effort to be a contributing member of the bop fandom again.

#birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn #birds of prey #harley quinn #huntress #black canary #Renee Montoya #Cassandra Cain #Roman sionis #Victor zsasz #words of little wisdom

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bluenet13 · 4 years

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It's All In Your Head (Chapter 1/2)

Written for @badthingshappenbingo

Fandom: Chicago Fire

Characters: Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett, Kelly Severide, Stella Kidd, Wallace Boden, Firehouse 51.

Prompt: Hair Matted with Blood

Summary: Post-ep to S09E09 "Double Red." Casey's life continues to spiral as his friends worry around him; or what happens when no one notices Casey is struggling and our captain is too stubborn to ask for help. AKA, I enjoyed the ep but needed more angst, h/c, and Brettsey, so I'm fixing it.

Links: ff.net / AO3

Playing basketball with Severide probably wasn't his greatest idea, because by the end of just one round with Stella's new arcade machine, Casey's head is throbbing and the whole room is spinning.

Barely suppressing a grunt, he stumbles backwards until his back hits the column in the middle of their loft. Taking advantage of Stella and Severide being focused on their new furniture, he takes a second to rest his head on the pillar. Eyes sliding closed as he massages his temples, another barely suppressed grunt escaping his lips when he touches the swollen and tender spot on the side of his head. Moving his finger around the area, Casey makes a mental note to take a shower before work the next day as he can still feel the cut from when his head hit the ground and dried blood sticking to his hair around it.

As soon as the machine plays the sound that signals game over, Casey quickly opens his eyes and rights himself. His mask continuing to slip away as his pain continues to increase.

Turning towards the kitchen, Casey does his best to avoid his roommates' stares as their eyes search the place where he had just been standing. He moves quickly to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, before he gingerly makes his way to his room.

"Going already?" Severide shouts from the living room.

"Yeah, man. Just tired. So I'll grab a quick nap before beating you again. God knows you need some alone practice," Casey says, trying to get the attention off him, while doing his best to sound convincing and not slur his words.

"Are you okay, captain?" Stella asks carefully, knowing how the boys get when you fuss over them. She is standing a few feet away from her boyfriend and is looking at Casey with clear worry in her eyes. They're all usually tired after a shift but their last one wasn't particularly bad and Casey always likes to take advantage of his days off to do some construction or work around the apartment. And it wasn't even 6pm. Definitely early for Casey to turn in.

"Yeah, yeah. All good. As I said, just tired. I'll see you both later. You guys enjoy yourselves," Casey says, throwing what he hopes is a reassuring wink their way, and making a point to hide the side of his head where blood might be visible.

Stella nods, but she can't shake the feeling that something is off. The previous day's events play on her head and she wonders if the accident did more damage to Casey than everyone thought.

Turning to her boyfriend as soon as Casey's door clicks shut, Stella grabs his shirt and draws Severide to her. "Did Casey seem off to you?" She wonders, not able to stop herself.

"Hmm, honestly? Since that night last fall, he always seems a little off," Severide answers sincerely. Both automatically knowing which night he's referring to.

Thinking back to the last few months, Stella can't help but agree. Remembering how the captain tends to spend his free time on shift closed down in his quarters, and how often he loses his cool and snaps at people now. Not to mention, how little they see of him at home, with Casey spending most of his days off working his construction job or locked inside his room. His occasional trips to Molly's usually ending soon after Brett makes an appearance with Grainger.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Stella concedes eventually. She then grabs the basketball and proceeds to put the ball in the net from where she's standing. "Come here and let me school you. And maybe next time you can actually beat Casey," she teases, picking up the basketball and scoring another point.

Severide mumbles something under his breath but he's smiling to himself as he stares at his girlfriend proudly. He waits until she's done, beating both his and Casey's scores in the process, before he takes her hand and pulls her alongside him towards their bedroom.

-x-x-x-

As soon as the lock clicks shut behind him, Casey slides down the door. The short walk to his room left him winded, and made his headache evolve to include nausea and a ringing in his ears that makes him feel as if his PASS device is active. But unlike in that scenario, there is nothing to turn off now because this sound comes from within, as his skull seemingly threatens to break in two.

Taking a tentative sip of water, Casey stops as his stomach tries to revolt. Closing his eyes, he takes slow, deep breaths willing the nausea to pass so he can drink enough water to down the two pills he managed to grab without Severide or Stella noticing. Now wishing he also had the presence of mind to grab some nausea medication from the kitchen.

After minutes tick by and his symptoms don't ease at all, Casey decides to forgo the water and just down the two pills dry. They scratch his throat but, at this moment, he couldn't care less.

With a groan, he then drags himself through the floor and awkwardly climbs into his bed. Not even bothering to take his clothes off and just collapsing into the mattress. Hopefully a good night's sleep in his own bed is all he needs and he will wake up feeling refreshed and like the last two days had just been a bad dream.

-x-x-x-

He doesn't.

Sleep is elusive all night long. And he spends the whole night tossing and turning because of the pain in his head, and then having to take deep breaths to calm his worsening nausea because of all the tossing and turning.

His awake moments also mix with dreams of cars and sad smiles. Leaving him feeling even more miserable and exhausted than the night before. So much that the last two days do in fact feel like a bad dream, while this night feels like a full-blown nightmare.

-x-x-x-

The following morning, knocking on the door wakes up Casey, and he groans as soon as his eyes land on the clock sitting on his nightstand. He's late for work.

"Case? You alright? We need to leave soon or we're going to be late." Severide's voice comes from outside his room and Casey briefly wonders if it's too late to call in sick. He feels like hell but all things considered he should probably feel thankful he's still alive and that his head is still in one piece. Even if it feels like someone is trying to crack it open from the inside.

"Sorry, man. Just getting ready. Give me a minute," Casey shouts, wincing as his own voice hurts his head. With no time to shower, he just spends a couple minutes getting ready in the bathroom, mostly trying to fix his hair that's sticking up in every direction.

"Let's go," Casey says, stumbling out of his room, and going directly to the front door so his roommates have no time to take in his appearance.

Or so he hoped. "Are you really okay? You look like hell, and you're wearing the same clothes you had yesterday." Severide asks. "And is that blood on the side of your head?"

Looking down at himself, Casey frowns, taking in his wrinkled look, before moving his hand to the spot where he knows the cut is and sighing as he can feel new crusted blood around his hair. He must have reopened the wound with all his tossing and turning the night before. "Didn't have time to do laundry. Will get on that after shift. And why would I have blood? It's probably red paint from my construction job yesterday." Casey settles on the first excuse that comes to mind, hoping they're already so late that Severide won't have time to question him further. "I was working on a barn," he adds as an afterthought, shaking his head and promptly regretting the movement as it intensifies the pounding on his skull.

Severide and Stella look at each other. Both knowing Casey is not the type to neglect his housekeeping duties, and also remembering the captain had actually done laundry last weekend. But, they're both more worried about what looks nothing like red paint and definitely like blood on the side of Casey's head.

Does he really think he can fool a squad lieutenant and firefighter/paramedic/future lieutenant? Stella seems to ask as she shares a look with Severide.

Severide nods, then shrugs and walks to the kitchen, grabbing a styrofoam mug and a plate with toast and eggs. "Here, we left some breakfast for you. You can eat in the car."

Casey's stomach does a backflip at the sight of the food and he has to use a lot of his remaining energy just to push his nausea down. "Thanks, man. But not really hungry. I will just take the coffee," he says casually, trying to sound normal.

Severide and Stella share another knowing look, but both decide to let it go for now, instead Severide sets the plate on the fridge and passes the cup to Casey. Then everyone grabs their keys and bags and they're out the door.

For a moment, Severide worries that maybe he's imagining things and Casey is totally fine. But looking at Stella out of the corner of his eye, noticing his own worry reflected in her brown eyes, he decides to trust his intuition and ask her about it later. He has been Casey's best friend for a long time and he knows they need to tread carefully when it comes to the man sharing his feelings and opening up about what's ailing him. Because something clearly is.

For his part, Casey is barely able to follow Severide and Stella down the stairs and towards the parking lot, and in his struggle, has the sudden, very obvious realization that he shouldn't work like this. All his energy is going into just taking one step after the other and he's in no condition to be anyone's captain today. But he made it this far so he can at least make it home. Once he's there, he can just tell Chief Boden he's not feeling well and spend the day out of the field and doing paperwork. It would be good for Stella too. She can be truck lieutenant and get some more preparation for her upcoming exams.

With that decision made, Casey then spends the next half hour sitting quietly in the backseat of Severide's car. The cup of coffee getting cold in his hand after his first tentative sip was received with his body threatening to throw up. What exactly, he wouldn't know, given he had skipped both lunch and dinner the day before.

When Severide parks his car in the street in front of Firehouse 51, Casey takes a second to close his eyes and compose himself, then slowly gets out of the car and makes his way inside. Not sparing his roommates a single glance.

Ignoring everyone who is already in the common room, Casey walks directly to the bathroom and closes himself inside a stall. After taking a minute to make sure there's no one inside, he finally lets go and proceeds to try to throw up the emptiness in his stomach. With nothing to come out, Casey just coughs and dry heaves. By the time he's done, he is sweating and shaking. And not for the first time realizes he's in no condition to go out into the job. Matt Casey has never been particularly good at self-preservation but he is the best at protecting the lives of the firefighters and paramedics under his command, and he would never willingly put their lives in danger.

Moving to the sink, Casey washes his face and mouth, before reaching inside the stall for his discarded bag and taking off his now sweat soaked t-shirt and changing into his white captain's shirt. He spends the next five minutes carefully scrubbing the blood that's matting his hair, before he arranges it in such a way that it covers the cut on his left side. Then taking deep, calming breaths, he schools his features and exits the bathroom.

As soon as he turns the corner towards Chief Boden's office, Casey collides with Severide and he can't help the grunt that escapes his lips. "Here you are. I've been looking for you. Case, are you sure you're okay?" Severide asks, concern evident in every single one of his words.

"Yes, man. Stop worrying. You're acting worse than Stella last time you got hurt," Casey says, as the previous day, trying to take the attention off him and direct it back to his roommate.

Severide says nothing, but looks at his best friend intently. Easily noticing how tired he looks and how the dark circles under his eyes are even more pronounced than anytime in the last few months. His skin also looks flushed, cheeks reddish, and he keeps squinting at him. Casey hasn't particularly looked good since his failed night with Brett, but he looks like shit now. But before Severide can steel his resolve and call him out, Casey seems to dismiss him with a shake of his hand and continues on his way.

"Going to speak with Chief Boden, I will see you later," Casey offers, then he is gone.

-x-x-x-

"Casey, good morning. What can I do for you?" Chief Boden asks from his desk, signaling for Casey to close the door and sit down.

"Hi Chief, I wanted to request the day off," Casey begins, but stops at the shocked look on his chief's face and the sudden way his eyebrows go up. Casey knew it was uncommon for him to voluntarily request time off but he wasn't expecting his chief to look so surprised. "Must have eaten something bad yesterday because my stomach is not agreeing with me today," he lies, inwardly wincing.

Matt Casey never lies, but sometimes he likes to color the truth. After all, his stomach is really not agreeing with him. And, as if trying to add more truth to his statement, Casey's stomach does another flip.

"Alright, Casey. I will tell Stella to take command of truck for the day and you go home and rest. Let me know if I can do anything to help," Boden agrees easily. A small seed of worry settling deep inside him because his captain rarely takes himself off the lineup voluntarily. But if he says it's just a bad case of spoiled food, there's nothing he can do and they just need to let time do its magic.

"Thank you, sir. But, if you're okay with it, I'd prefer to stay here. I can just lie down in my quarters for a bit, then take advantage of the time to get ahead on some paperwork," Casey proposes, knowing his situation is a lot more complicated than food poisoning. He doesn't want to go to the hospital as he fears this might be the time the doctor mentioned where another head injury could really put a damper on his career as a firefighter. And even if he hopes that this will all resolve on its own with time, he would still like to be close to an ambulance and paramedics in case it all turns worse before it gets better.

As it turns out, he does have some sense of self-preservation after all.

"Whatever you think is best, Casey. But if you're feeling worse, don't hesitate to go home. Or ask Brett or Mackey to check you out. They can give you something to make you feel better," Boden instructs. Like always being the type of leader that likes to point out what he believes to be the right path, but ultimately, wanting to give the men and women under his command the chance to decide for themselves.

Casey nods, even knowing that Brett is the last person he would ask for help right now. He almost did yesterday, then spent the whole night dreaming with her sad eyes when he had broken her heart. Being honest with himself, he knows he wants nothing more than to talk to her and let her comfort him. But he has done enough damage already; now she wants space, and the least he can do is give that to her.

"Thank you, chief." Casey bids his boss farewell before he walks straight to his quarters. Closing the door and lowering the blinds, then promptly falling face first onto his bed.

Five minutes later the alarms go off, calling all five units to a vehicular accident. The alarms and sirens only intensify the throbbing in Casey's head and a sob escapes his lips as he tries to shield himself from the noise by covering his head with his pillow. When the room is back to silence, he sighs in content, glad he doesn't have to get up and worry about being Captain Casey right now. At this moment, he has more than enough just worrying about how he feels like he is dying.

Barely shaking his head, Casey wills those thoughts away from his mind and closes his eyes. With the whole firehouse out on a call, he can finally get some rest and hopefully this time actually wake up feeling better than before.

-x-x-x-

After Casey more than dismisses him and walks to the Chief's office, closing the door behind them, Severide has the familiar need to follow him and find out what's going on. But he doesn't want to get on his friend's bad side, so instead, he follows the path where Casey came from, and decides to find some clues on his own.

Seeing the locker room empty and intact, Severide walks into the bathroom and quickly notices the discarded cup of coffee on the trash. The entirety of the black liquid spilled on the bag. Sighing, Severide decides to go wait for Casey outside of Boden's office so he can talk to him about it. Something is clearly wrong with him, and Severide needs to do something about it before Casey's stupidity lands him in trouble. Severide knows he's not great at taking care of himself, but some days he thinks Casey is even worse.

Getting to Boden's office, Severide finds the door open and the chief alone working on some paperwork. Briefly considering talking to Boden about it, Severide eventually decides he doesn't want to go over Casey's head, so he turns around and walks to the officer's quarters.

From a distance, Severide can already see that Casey's door is closed and the blinds are down, so he's probably inside, but before he has time to knock on the door the alarms go off as they're all called to an accident downtown. Staying in place for a few seconds, Severide waits to see if Casey will come out so he can make sure he's really okay before they go into a scene. But there's no movement inside, and Casey never comes out.

Hearing the engines of the trucks, Severide shakes his head and runs towards the apparatus bay, coming face to face with Boden as soon as he exits the door.

Seeing all of truck, but Casey, sitting at their usual spots, and the seat next to Stella empty, Severide turns to his chief. "Sir, is Casey alright?" Casey can get pissed off if he wants, Severide thinks. After all, he wouldn't need to be asking their boss if the idiot had just opened up to his best friend and roommate, instead of avoiding all his questions.

"He said he has food poisoning, and requested the day off. Stella, you're in charge of truck today," Boden all but shouts, both answering Severide's question and informing the rest of the house that they will be going to work without their captain today.

Food poisoning? Severide wonders, scrunching his face when he remembers he hadn't seen Casey eat anything since the day before yesterday. Something is clearly up and he will find out as soon as they're back from this call.

Nodding, Severide jumps into the squad truck and turns on the sirens as Cruz hits the gas. For a brief moment, as he passes the apparatus floor, he catches Stella's eyes, and again, sees his own worry reflected in them. They briefly spoke when they got to the firehouse, and even though Stella also felt something was off, they both agreed this might all be in their heads and was just another side-effect of Casey's current distance from Brett. Still, they can't help but worry. And if that wasn't enough, Severide then turns to Brett, who's sitting on the driver's side of ambo 61, and sees an unasked question on her gaze, her face also showing concern.

-x-x-x-

Sylvie Brett prides herself on always being ready to do her job and help whoever is in need. Or rather, almost always. Because a certain fire captain has the uncanny ability to draw her thoughts away from the job and towards his beautiful blue eyes and deep gaze. Even when the man is not even in the same space, her mind is an expert in conjuring his face whether she wants to or not.

So now, even as she exits the ambulance and goes to the back to find her med bag, Brett tries to catch Severide or Stella's eyes. At any other time, they would be the ones seeking answers from her, but nowadays, she knows Casey is much more likely to share personal details with his roommates than with her. It's not the first time she has that thought, and as every time before, a sad smile escapes her lips with the realization.

Brett can't deny that she is in love with Casey and wants to be more than friends with him, but mostly, she just misses her best friend. And wishes things would go back to normal, when they would communicate like no other, and share with each other what neither dared share with the rest of the world. That's how she knew that whatever was happening now, wouldn't be happening at all if she hadn't sought Casey that night. Then she wouldn't have asked that question, and he wouldn't have broken her heart with the power of his honesty alone.

Shaking her head, Brett gives up trying to attract Severide or Stella's attention and instead focuses on the current call. Grabbing every instrument and item she might need, she follows Mackey to the accident, and together they stand to the side, while squad works on getting the victims out of the three cars involved in the crash, and truck, minus Casey (as her mind helpfully points out), works on extinguishing the few flames that had already sparked and making sure no others join.

When that's done, Brett and Mackey do quick work of taking care of the victims and getting them stable while they wait for additional ambulances to come and help them transport the victims to Gaffney Chicago Medical Center. Only for that brief moment she forgets about Casey, taking some time to stare at the young paramedic, her partner for two more shifts, as she ponders why another partner is leaving her. Maybe she's a good paramedic, and just not a good leader? Because there has to be some reason why no partner is able to stick with her for more than 2 years, while the previous Ambo's 61 PIC was able to spend years with just Shay and then Brett. Apparently Casey is not the only one who prefers Dawson.

Sirens getting closer draw Brett away from her own pity party and she joins Mackey in letting the new paramedics know the state of the victims they just treated and helping them get everyone inside an ambulance. As she proudly stares at Mackey, hearing her confidently recite all the patients' stats and known injuries, Brett makes it a point to remember to congratulate the young woman again and wish her good luck in her new house.

That thought also makes Brett realize that even in a very small way, she's still a part of Mackey's success and the fact she so quickly got the recognition she deserved by being considered for a future PIC job, an achievement which took Brett more than a few years. She should feel proud of that, for both of them. Plus, she's always been good, some would even say great, at her job. So there's no reason for Brett to be feeling down on herself.

But then she remembers Casey, and her conviction crumbles. Whatever is happening to him now wouldn't be happening if she hadn't let their personal lives mix with their jobs. And even if it is just food poisoning, which she doubts, it would still be her fault, because any firefighter should feel like they can reach out and ask her for help, however minor the injury or illness might be. And Casey clearly hadn't thought he could. But then again, he had tried to ask her a question during the last shift. It hadn't been her fault that, as usual, they got interrupted, but it was her fault not to ask him about it later.

Same as it was her fault that she didn't check Casey after the incident last call. And deep down in her gut, she is certain that is the real problem of whatever is happening to him now.

Sighing, Brett forces her mind to return to the present and closes the door of Ambo 61 after Mackey climbs inside next to the stretcher. For now, she will focus on doing her job to the best of her ability, but she knows something is up, and she will find out what, as soon as they're back at 51.

-x-x-x-

Again, Casey doesn't wake up feeling better than before. In fact, the pain in his head now reaches a new level of misery and the room is spinning so much that just getting out of bed is a struggle.

Closing his eyes, Casey pictures what he remembers of his small quarters and tentatively makes his way to the door. Resting his head on the wood as he wills the world to stop moving.

Opening his eyes again, he unlocks the door and slowly makes his way to the common room in search of Brett, Mackey or anyone that can help him. But the room is empty and with a sinking feeling he realizes the call lasted longer than expected or maybe he just didn't sleep all that much.

But then Casey hears the telltale sound of the firehouse's units and his friends' voices and with the last of his energy follows the noise to the apparatus bay. Every step is a new challenge and by the time Casey crosses the threshold and stands on the garage, the ache in his head has worsened. He moves a hand to message his temple, hoping to alleviate the ache in his head and frowns when his fingers come back sticky with blood.

When the trucks and SUV are close enough for Casey to see them, or rather, their blurry outlines, he raises his hand, hoping to get Brett or Severide's attention, and in his disorientation, frowns again when he sees blood staining his hand. Wanting to get closer to his family and the only people that can help him now, Casey takes one final step but it's too late and his whole world collapses on him. His dizziness and nausea take over, the room around him disappearing as the blurriness gives way to full-blown darkness and the familiar sounds of the firehouse are reduced to interminable silence.

And before Casey can process anything of what's happening, the world seems to tilt off its axis and he feels himself falling...

#Chicago Fire #matt casey #sylvie brett #brettsey #kelly severide #brett x casey #bad things happen bingo #chicago fire fanfic

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quazartranslates · 3 years

Text

Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH137 (Extra)

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents ]

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Chapter 137: Extra

Introduction to Extra: When a high school student idol girl encounters an exorcist of the Holy See who transferred to her school, the original scientific world seems to suddenly become unscientific...

Beautiful idol girl: A lovely and beautiful girl like me, of course, only likes handsome girls!

Handsome girl: Hmm!

Agent: Excuse me?

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Note: This story is an AU (Alternative Universe) story, that is, a parallel universe, not a story within the same timeline as the main text. There is no Nightmare Game in this story. Everyone is living in modern times, including fantastic creatures such as supernatural ghosts, demons, and blood cults, but they are not widely known. The story involves the locations and characters from the Castle Cry copy, but it is different from the story in the text. Please refer to the text.

Genders are different, genders are different, and genders are different (important things are said three times). Because of gender differences and different experiences growing up, the characters are slightly different from the text.

Qi Leren entered the entertainment industry from an early age while attending high school, filming and singing, and was a famous idol and beautiful girl; Ning Zhou is the royal elder sister* mixed-race exorcist who transferred from abroad for some reason.

*{E/N: yujie, like the Japanese onee-sama character type}

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The sunshine outside the window was too good, and there wasn’t even a cloud in the blue sky.

Qi Leren looked out of the window with her cheeks propped up, a little absent-minded.

The teacher was giving a lecture on the podium and the students around her were all keeping their heads down and taking notes carefully. Qi Leren’s eyes quietly drifted to the black-haired and blue-eyed student by the window. She sat upright and looked at the teacher on the podium, looking serious and earnest.

Her blue eyes were really beautiful.

Qi Leren's thoughts suddenly returned to the day a month ago.

On that day, she’d flown back to X City overnight the previous night. It was already after midnight when she’d gotten home, so she’d unfortunately overslept the next day and rushed into the lecture building as the school bell rang. Although the school was tolerant of her frequent leave, Qi Leren didn't want to be treated specially because of her idol status, so she would try her best to observe the school rules.

The bell was drawing to a close, and she was still a corridor away from the classroom. Qi Leren ran at the speed of the 800-meter women's champion in the school sports meet. As she ran, she thought she might not be late this time. As a result, at the corner at the end of the corridor, she ran head-on into someone.

"Ow!" The bump was really strong. Qi Leren raised her head angrily, covering her nose, and glared at the person.

The blue-eyed girl who was hit: "...Sorry."

Who is this? I've never seen her before. Is she wearing fashion contact lenses? So tall and beautiful!

Qi Leren stared at the person and for a long time she apologized until the class teacher coughed: "I'm sorry, I ran into you, I'm sorry!"

The class teacher accompanying the blue-eyed girl smiled and said, "Xiao-Qi, what are you hurrying for?"

Qi Leren immediately wore a bitter expression: "...Sorry teacher, I'm late."

"It doesn't matter, you’re busy with your work, the teacher understands it, go back to the classroom quickly," the teacher in charge said, taking the two people with her to the classroom.

Qi Leren walked on the left side of the head teacher and slowed down after two steps. She secretly looked at the girl walking on the right side of the head teacher. She looked only ahead of her, and she could see that her facial features were more three-dimensional than the average person. With those sapphire eyes, Qi Leren boldly guessed that she should be mixed-race.

"Hey hey, I’m Qi Leren, what's your name? Why haven't I seen you before? Did you transfer to this school?" Qi Leren put on her trademark smile photogenic smile and smiled sweetly at her, and spoke without any of her idol baggage.

The blue-eyed girl gave her a look, turned her face quickly, and fell silent.

Qi Leren, who’d failed to strike up a conversation, froze for a second. What? Someone ignored her? This was not scientific!

Qi Leren debuted at the age of seven, playing the sister of the self-improving poor hero in a drama set in the Republic of China. Because the story required crying from beginning to end, crying deeply and emotionally, and because of her lovable role and outstanding acting skills, she played the clever and poor little girl vividly and immediately became the little daughter in the eyes of the aunties and became a national sweetheart.

Since then, Qi Leren, who was still a young girl, relied on her mother's contacts as an actress and her own outstanding acting skills - and probably also her well-proportioned face - and after ten years, her development route had been well planned by the management company. From the age of thirteen, she had changed from the role of poor and lovely sister and daughter to the route of a youth idol and beautiful girl, acting on one hand and singing on the other, busy enough that she needed 48 hours per day. If it wasn't for her mother's insistence that she should continue her studies and at least finish college, she probably wouldn't even have the chance to experience normal school life.

It can be imagined that the campus life of this popular idol, this beautiful girl, was full of stars, yet Qi Leren had never met anyone who was nice to her.

To paraphrase the lines of the hero of her recent idol drama: Very good, woman, you have successfully caught my attention!

"Ning Zhou is a new transfer student. She was in Italy before, and her Chinese isn’t very good. Xiao-Qi, you should help her more and let her integrate into the group as soon as possible," the teacher in charge said.

"Oh, no problem, leave it to me!" Qi Leren smartly saluted the class teacher, which attracted the class teacher's tight smile.

The girl named Ning Zhou unnaturally turned away from her gaze, staying silent as she looked at the distant scenery.

It had been a month, and she was still like this.

Qi Leren, who was pulled away from her memories, sighed softly and looked at Ning Zhou with increasingly melancholy eyes.

Ning Zhou was really beautiful and cold, and she exuded an aura of staying away from strangers. Qi Leren heard that her classmates would also talk about her privately, saying that she wasn’t easy to get along with, and the amount of time she normally took as leave was comparable to Qi Leren.

Hey, why was she so cold? She had spoken up many times explicitly and implicitly, but Ning Zhou always ended the conversation with a "hm" which made the idol girl frustrated. If it weren't for Ning Zhou's eyes that were clear of disgust, she would have almost thought Ning Zhou really hated her.

Qi Leren was resting on her arm and looking sideways at Ning Zhou. The side of her face seemed to be glowing in the warm sunshine. It was really beautiful...

Suddenly Ning Zhou turned to look up, and Qi Leren who was peeking was caught red-handed as their eyes collided in the air... What happened with ordinary people? Were they embarrassed and looked away? Qi Leren didn't. She kept her head pillowed on her arm and smiled generously at Ning Zhou, especially sweetly.

Ning Zhou quickly withdrew her sight, not looking out the window.

In the warm sunshine, her earlobe was red.

Qi Leren blinked and repeatedly confirmed that she was not mistaken.

So, in fact, Ning Zhou wasn’t cold but just shy? Qi Leren was stunned by this idea and screamed in her heart for a long time, Ning Zhou! Lovely! She's shy! Super cute!

Qi Leren's heart was filled with an unprecedented impulse. She should try harder to strike up a conversation with Ning Zhou and make good friends with her! The kind where she could bury herself in her breasts!

When the bell rang, Qi Leren immediately sat up straight, and the students around them stood up and walked around the classroom. Several nice classmates gathered around Qi Leren and chatted with her twitteringly.

"Qi Leren, I heard that you’re going to release a single again. Have you recorded it?"

"When will your new show be released?"

"Qi Leren, help me ask Su Ying for a signature! The news said that you’ll be acting in that show, right!"

"Are XX and XXX really in love? I think it’s all just a rumor!"

All kinds of questions surrounded Qi Leren, these curious baby girls racing against time to inquire about the entertainment industry. Qi Leren patiently answered them one by one, and some inconvenient words had to be vaguely taken out. Fortunately, the girls were just curious, not asking why. Compared with them, it was obvious that the students in other classes and even other grades outside the window gave her a headache. If she wanted to go out to the toilet now, she couldn't do it without two students because she would be overwhelmed by the crowd...

This was also the trouble of being a popular and beautiful idol girl.

Until after school in the afternoon, Qi Leren didn't find a chance to get closer to Ning Zhou. She walked too fast. Qi Leren didn't find a chance to leave school with her, so she had to instead leave the school with several girls. In the afternoon, the driver who was in charge of picking her up asked for leave. She thought about whether to take a taxi home or to walk home. After thinking about it, the school wasn’t far from home anyway. It was currently rush hour, so the road would be too blocked. It was better to walk.

So Qi Leren put on a mask and walked towards home with her school bags.

Since the beginning of primary school, Qi Leren had had only a handful of opportunities to go home by herself. She looked at the cars blocking the street from one end to the other and the motorbikes occupying the sidewalk, gave an annoyed tut, and turned her head and walked into the alley.

Through this alley, one could reach the neighbourhood her house was in. Qi Leren was happily humming the tune of her upcoming single that she would be shooting the music video for tomorrow...

At dusk, the orange-red light fell on the corner of the lane, which shrouded the scenery in a decadent golden splendor. A cold wind blew, and the coolness was a little unsettling. Qi Leren instinctively had a feeling of foreboding. She hesitantly stopped and looked around - the sunset’s sudden dimness was only caused by the shadow of a building, and everything seemed ordinary.

The exit was just ahead. With an uneasiness in her heart, Qi Leren strode forward.

There was a cold wind, and the wind mixed with the foul smell and decay. Qi Leren held her breath and took three steps in two strides, but the accident did not let her go. Just less than ten meters away from the corner, the golden sunset was suddenly swallowed up by a strange darkness, and Qileren stopped suddenly and looked ahead in amazement.

The residential buildings on both sides of the alley echoed with the shrill cries of crows, and the daylight around her suddenly darkened as if she had stepped into an instant night. Qi Leren looked back in panic, but the road that she had originally come from had been submerged in the darkness.

What was happening? Was this some strange joke?

Qi Leren panicked and took out her cellphone to make a call. As soon as she unlocked it, there was no signal at all!

Qi Lered was flustered, using her cellphone to illuminate ahead as she walked faster and faster, but no matter how far she went, there was no end to the road ahead. Only the light of the cellphone illuminated a small section of the concrete ahead, and there was a mottled blood on the ground...

There was a strange movement in the darkness ahead. Qi Leren stopped and looked toward it with bated breath. The flashlight lit up the darkness. In this faint light, there was a rickety and distorted shadow coming towards her, step by step, slowly and heavy, as if a cold corpse had been forcibly fished out of the morgue was posing strangely and stumbling forward.

It entered the range of the flashlight’s beam and Qi Leren breathed in a gasp - Was that alive? The limbs were stiff, the skin was gray, and the eyes were glowing red. It paused for a second, its head lowered, and the red eyes looked straight in Qi Leren’s direction.

The next moment, it opened its closed mouth, showing a whole row of sharp teeth, and growled at her!

Qi Leren gave a cry and ran away. She bet that hadn’t tried so hard when she’d ran 800 meters in the school sports meet, but even still the monster that had suddenly become agile got closer and closer as it chased her, and with a swoop forward it grabbed Qi Leren's calf.

"Ah-" Qi Leren fell to the ground, and the monster opened its mouth and bit her throat.

At this critical juncture, Qi Leren, who had closed her eyes tightly, heard a gunshot, but the expected pain did not come. She opened her eyes carefully. The monster holding her down was covered with frost and the cold seeped into her body. She shivered, struggling out of the monster's hold by rolling and crawling, brushing the dirt off her clothes while looking in all directions for the source of the gunshot.

The darkness around her was fading gradually and the sunset came back from the end of the world, spilling its afterglow on the earth.

And in the direction of the sunset, there was a tall and slender figure with a silver shotgun pistol in her hand, looking at her from a distance.

That figure...

Qi Leren suddenly opened her eyes wide and ran to her without thinking. The girl took a step back and seemed to want to leave, but Qi Leren had already cried her name: "Ning Zhou! Wait!"

Ning Zhou didn't go away after all. Instead, she was pulled by the arm by Qi Leren: "What happened just now? What was that monster?"

"...Low-level magic," Ning Zhou said, and went to the monster who had been shot dead by her gun. She bent over to check it and confirmed that it was dead. Then she took out a bottle of a liquid flashing with silver luster from her bag and dumped it on the body. The body instantly turned into black and dissipated in the air.

Qi Leren was still immersed in the absurdity of the thrilling adventure just now, and her mind was full of strange questions. However, when Ning Zhou was about to leave, she quickly caught up and held onto her: "Don't go, where did that monster come from? Why did it suddenly get dark just now? What’s the silver liquid in your bottle? Corpse water? Who the hell are you? Certainly not an ordinary person?"

Ning Zhou, whose arm was being clung to, looked at the curious girl with a depressed face. At that time, she didn't know what to do. She could tell her, of course, but it would hurt her, involving her in something she couldn’t escape from... What should she do?

"Oh, please talk to me, I'm scared to death, can you walk me back? My house is just a little way away, it’s very close! Just be good enough to walk me there." Seeing that Ningzhou seemed to be shaken, Qi Leren immediately switched to acting mode and watched Ning Zhou, trying to impress this mysterious transfer student with what are known as "puppy eyes".

"...Let's go," Ning Zhou gave in.

Qi Leren silently made a victory gesture in her heart and took Ning Zhou's arm happily and naturally - at that moment, she felt Ning Zhou stiffen: "Thank you for saving me, Ning Zhou, you’re so handsome! I upgrade you to my goddess!"

And then? Then she succeeded in seeing Ning Zhou's ears turn red again.

It's so lovely, Qi Leren chuckled in her heart.

On the way home, Qi Leren played the rare dead-end part of the idol beautiful girl and pulled a lot of information out of Ning Zhou's mouth, which was sparing in words and inaccurate in pronunciation. What had happened just now was she had walked into the Nightmare World at dusk, a projection of the real world that existed in hell. Whenever night fell its power would become strong, and occasionally someone would go into the Nightmare World and be attacked by monsters.

She also learned that Ning Zhou is not from Italy, but from the Vatican. The Vatican was not only responsible for religious beliefs as she had imagined. There was also a very complex and huge underground Holy See beneath the surface. Since the Middle Ages, they had fought with the dark forces. Exorcists were not simply characters in novels and movies, but really existed.

At this moment, the person whose arm she was holding was an exorcist of the Holy See.

It sounded really cool. It sounded cooler than an idol girl!

On the short walk home, Qi Leren's worldview had been scrubbed clean. Sadly, she still wanted to continue to be washed, but she had already returned to her doorstep. Still holding onto the girl: "Eat with me, my parents aren’t at home these days. I have no appetite when I eat alone, and I’ve lost a few pounds!"

Saying this, Qi Leren pinched her arm and looked at Ning Zhou pitifully.

Ning Zhou compromised again.

Qi Leren felt that she had found the trick to deal with Ning Zhou, she just had to play up this charm and act as the cute coquettish girl. Ning Zhou was shy and soft-hearted, and had no idea what to do with this kind of girl.

"Let me see what's in the refrigerator. When the auntie comes to clean the house in the morning, she leaves something for me to eat later. I just take it out and heat it up at night." Qi Leren opened the refrigerator and studied it for a while. She smiled back and reported the name of the dishes present. "...What would you like to eat?"

"Whatever."

"There’s no food called whatever! I’ll tell you what, shall I make you spaghetti and steak? I'm good at that! Okay, it's a deal! Go and do some homework and I'll cook." Qi Leren kicked Ning Zhou out of the kitchen, turned on the stereo, and played the songs off her last album, which were all youthful and relaxed and made people feel happy when they listened to them - although Qi Leren was not interested in her own songs at all. When she heard the melody, she would recall collapsing while singing and having to leave the recording studio to vomit, but out of some unspeakably subtle mood, she especially wanted to play it in front of Ning Zhou now.

This careful choice really caught Ning Zhou's attention. She picked up the album case that Qi Leren "inadvertently" put on the coffee table. The girl on the cover was wearing a sailor suit and full of energy, with her hair that was tied into a pair of ponytails floating up as she jumped. Her pitiable and lovely drooping eyes became glowing because of her happy smile.

Ning Zhou looked at it for a long time, but she didn't even notice that Qi Leren, who was busy in the kitchen, looked back at her frequently. She picked up the remote control and turned on the TV. The image of the song’s music video immediately appeared in front of her eyes. The girl wearing sportswear in the music video was participating in a sports meet and fell down as she ran, suffering from a cold sweat, but stood up stubbornly and limped to the end regardless of her bleeding knee.

That stubborn and tough look... Ning Zhou's heart was suddenly hit, and then she woke up. It was just a music video.

When she looked into the kitchen, she happened to collide with Qi Leren who was secretly peeking at her. Their eyes were separated by the transparent glass door. Caught red handed, Qi Leren covered her eyes with one hand. After a long time, she opened the glass door and blushed and as she said, "That music video was shot blindly! I didn't fall when I was running. Last year I won the 800-meter women's championship in the school sports meet!"

Of course, winning the championship was due to the fact that special sports students couldn't participate in the school sports meet.

At the sports meet, Qi Leren was photographed from beginning to end and made headlines with her win of the 800-meter championship, so when this music video came out, it was ridiculed in good faith - Le-mei, you won this 800-meter championship by beating the previous player, right?

Qi Leren really wanted to promote herself in front of Ning Zhou. It was naturally a bit depressing to be seen in the music video, and for Ning Zhou to take it so seriously...

Inexplicably ashamed and resentful Qi Leren pulled Ning Zhou away from watching the TV: "Give me a hand, you cook the spaghetti and I'll make the steak! If you don’t know how, I can teach you."

So one person's kitchen became two people’s, and the sunset outside the window stretched the shadows of the two people until they collided with each other unconsciously. When an elbow touched another person, the two people would stiffen and casually pretend it hadn’t happened.

The living room outside the kitchen echoed with the familiar melody, full of youth and love.

After dinner, Qi Leren invited Ning Zhou to work on homework together. Whenever she did homework, she always complained that she could earn money to support herself yet she still had to study hard and do homework. With how often she took leave, it wasn’t easy to stay in the middle ranking. The price was that she often had to study hard on the set with her textbooks, and she was so tired that she would never get up until she was hungry in the afternoon.

When doing homework, Qi Leren's mouth didn't stop. She talked to Ning Zhou who didn’t say a word. Ning Zhou said too little, and she was almost always chattering: "My mother has been very busy recently. She’s the busiest person in my family. It’s normal for her to fly to three cities in a day on press tours when a movie’s released. She acts so tired even at her age. I think she’ll struggle until she’s 80 years old. My dad’s fine, he isn’t too busy working at the university. I don’t see him very often, even though we’re his wife and daughter. When my mother’s resting, he is not busy. I really want to cover over his face." At some point, Qi Leren casually asked, "Where are your parents? Did they come to X City with you?"

Ning Zhou's writing hand kept moving as she said faintly, "They’ve passed away."

"Ah..." Qi Leren froze, "I'm sorry..."

Ning Zhou stopped writing and looked up at her: "It doesn't matter, it’s been a long time."

Her blue eyes were so calm, almost empty, as if talking about something irrelevant, but… why did she feel sad?

No, you haven't let it go at all, Qi Leren retorted in her heart. You’re obviously sad, but you don't want to admit it. Do you feel that you’re weak? It’s lovely that people have such strong emotions. They laugh when they’re happy, cry when they’re sad, and pursue bravely when they like someone. Because of these feelings, people are able to become real.

A bell came from somewhere far away. Qi Leren took a look at the time, strengthened her heart to keep Ning Zhou here, and pretended to learn the time casually as she said, "Ah, it's late, why do you have to leave? I am alone at home, and with what happened before... I’m a little scared." With that, Qi Leren blushed and asked, "Can you stay with me?"

In the face of such a person, such a request, Ning Zhou couldn't refuse. Receiving a positive answer, Qi Leren happily went to help her find a change of clothes: "I haven't worn these pajamas yet, the underwear is new, a toothbrush and towel are ready, and I put them in the bathroom on the second floor. I’ll go wash on the first floor."

Finished saying that, Qi Leren trotted down the stairs, brushed her teeth and washed her face quickly, and took a bath while humming. After washing, she looked at herself in front of the mirror for a while. After hesitating repeatedly, she picked up a bottle of girls’ perfume with a fresh scent from the washstand, sprayed it twice in the air, and then walked through the mist.

Qi Leren, who walked out of the bathroom, also sniffed her body nervously. It was light, and it wasn’t obvious after being mixed with shower gel. It should be... It should seem quite natural.

The fragrant Qi Leren walked to the piano in the living room, pressed it twice, then sat down and played the piano skillfully.

Ning Zhou, who had finished washing, came down the curved staircase. Qi Leren looked up at her and smiled as she said, "I'll sing you the song from my new single."

Ning Zhou nodded silently.

Qi Leren coughed twice: "This song ‘I like you’ is dedicated to the goddess Ning Zhou who is willing to accompany me through this frightening night. Your blue eyes are as beautiful as sapphires, I like them very much.

"Everything became incredible, I fell in love with you at first sight, and the world was instantly sweet. Your smile and your voice linger in my mind. My eyes only follow you in the crowd, and my first love suddenly comes... I want to take you out of your lonely world, I want to accompany you to see all the beautiful sights, and I am inseparable from you from now on... La la la la, just like you so much, la la la la, I like you."

In the brightly lit living room, the girl who played the piano and sang presented her a song with countless sweet smiles. When being watched by brown eyes, the heart always lost its rhythm, and the heat surging in her chest was so strange and difficult to control. She was afraid of this uncontrollable thing, but she just wanted to let it go.

As she finished playing, Qi Leren looked at her eagerly: "Is it good?"

Ning Zhou hard nodded her head.

So Qi Leren smiled: "I hoped you’d like it! When I have a new song next time, I’ll sing it to you again!"

Ning Zhou looked at her deeply, and her deep blue eyes seemed to become gentle under the light.

Qi Leren, who despite not having a teacher had learned how to pick up a hot chick, jumped with excitement and tried to calm down, saying, "It's late, let's go to sleep."

With this said, she took Ning Zhou to the bedroom: "My bed’s quite big, it’s no problem for two people to sleep in it. If you’re not used to it, we can each have a quilt."

Anyway, there was no such option as sleeping next door.

Ning Zhou was not used to it. Girls here went to the toilet in droves and walked in the street hand in hand. Kissing and touching were commonplace. When she first came, she thought the girls here were all gay, but later found out that this was a difference of national customs.

"My friends have told me about having sleepovers with their girlfriends, but I entered the entertainment industry too early and the agents are very strict, and I haven’t had any friends close enough to sleep with." Qi Leren seemed to be a little hesitant to look at Ning Zhou, and quickly tried to act cute to disguise it. "I’ll definitely have nightmares tonight..."

Ning Zhou compromised again, and she found herself frustrated that she was always easily persuaded in matters relating with Qi Leren, without any bottom line.

Qi Leren, successful in being allowed to share the same bed as the goddess, got under the quilt and snickered, so happy that she couldn't wait to roll a few times in bed. But in the face of the goddess, she had to be careful and reserved!

The dim bedside lamp lit up this square inch. Qi Leren got out from under the blanket and leaned against the pillow. She looked at Ning Zhou sideways and said with a smile, "Let's chat."

"..." They had agreed to go to bed since it was late. Ning Zhou felt unbearable condescension, but nodded her head.

Qi Leren was quite good at chatting. She couldn't help it, it was also the actor's professional quality to be eloquent. Otherwise, they would be tongue-tied when being interviewed by reporters and the other party will be embarrassed. When she was on talk shows, the atmosphere would be stagnant, and the lethality of the silence would be huge.

Seeing that the goddess agreed, Qi Leren chatted with her in a garrulous way, getting closer and closer, and in the end she had cocked her head and leaned on the other's shoulder to show her her photos.

"This photo was taken when I was seven years old. At that time, I cried and didn't want to go to school. My mother threatened to make me go to her film set with her if I didn't go to school. Every day, I had to crawl in the mud and hang from a wire. I cried and said that I would rather go to the shoot, so my mother took me to her film studio to teach me a lesson. At that time, she was filming a drama set in the Republic of China. It was scary watching them shoot a war scene. I was scared. I thought that the actor brother was really dead and started crying. The director of the studio next door had just come to chat with an old friend, looked at me crying pitifully, and said that the actress who was meant to play the little girl next door had broken her leg and couldn't come, and he discussed with my mother whether he could borrow me the show. At that time, I was so naive that I thought I really didn't have to go to school anymore if I did it, so I happily went away with the director and embarked on the road of no return. The worst thing is that I have to go to school while I’m shooting a show. If I don't do well on an exam, I have to ask my tutor to make up the missed lessons! It’s mad, there’s no humanity." Qi Leren chattered at Ning Zhou, talking about her mother and making angry gesticulations as she went on.

From the tip of her nose came the sweet smell of girls, mixed with shower gel and an unknown fragrance, which was pure and fresh and sweet. Ning Zhou, who was almost never so close to anyone, instinctively felt her body stiffen and repeatedly stressed to herself that she was harmless, that she needn’t be so on guard or have to fight back. On several occasions, her line of sight had habitually fallen on her slender neck, which was so soft that a gentle push would be enough to stop her from ever singing well again. It turned out that she was flawed, and she didn't have any precautions about showing them. This naive innocence made Ning Zhou anxious and subconsciously worried.

"...And you? What was it like when you were a child?" Qi Leren asked in a low voice, she was a little uneasy for fear that such a question would be too abrupt, but she couldn't help but want to know more about Ning Zhou.

That isn’t a happy memory, she doesn't want to know, Ning Zhou thought.

She didn't want to know of the endless bloody killings at the border between the Nightmare World and the human world, and what it was like to hunt demons alone at the border of hell since the age of thirteen, and she didn't want to know how painful it was when she ran out of food and fell into the demon forest and her intestines slipped out of an abdominal wound. Even when they were sitting side by side, the worlds they lived in were never the same.

She didn't want her to see the filth and darkness hidden behind the peaceful world.

Ning Zhou was silent for too long, and Qi Leren lowered his eyes in frustration and realized that her questions had troubled Ning Zhou: "I'm sorry... I'm too curious..."

"When I was thirteen years old, I went to the Vatican..." Ning Zhou interrupted her apology and said quietly, "I’ve never seen my father. After my mother died that year, I had no other relatives who could serve as guardians. Her friends followed her will and sent me to the Vatican, where a senior who respected her was my guardian.

"Living in the Vatican was very happy. I’ve learned a lot of things and I am determined to be an exorcist like my mother, fighting demons hidden in the dark. In recent years, the scope of the Nightmare World is expanding, and the number of demon attacks around the world is increasing... I was commissioned by a descendent of a German noble to investigate the history of his past relative who had lived in China with her family."

Ning Zhou saw Qi Leren looking eagerly at her and wanting to hear more, so she talked about some modified hunting demons. Qi Leren listened to her carefully. Ning Zhou said many words very carefully, with a little accent, but it sounded so lovely to Qi Leren. The more she listened, the more absorbed she became, and when she heard some thrilling thing she would gasp and hold Ning Zhou's hand nervously.

The girl's hand was small and soft, and the veins were clear. She found that Ning Zhou's hand was different from hers. She took her palm and looked left and right. She also curiously touched the thin veins that ran from her palm to her wrist, and touched Ning Zhou's left hand. There was a scar in the center that looked like a thorn, and she said with distress: "This must have been painful."

The palm of her hand felt crisp and numb, and Ning Zhou breathed slowly and withdrew her hand quietly: "It's time to sleep."

Qi Leren was a little regretful but she had to turn off the lights, depressed at the thought of having to shoot the music video tomorrow on her day off classes.

The room was dark and the balcony off the bedroom was open. The wind blew in from outside the screen window, together with the moonlight. Qi Leren lowered her breathing and listened carefully. She couldn't hear Ning Zhou's breathing at such a close distance. If it wasn't for the other person's temperature, she wouldn't even feel someone sleeping beside her.

The hand hidden under the quilt sneaked over and grabbed Ning Zhou's hand. She looked at her with her tilted face that was turned away from the moonlight. Her facial features were immersed in the darkness, yet her sapphire eyes were shining.

A smile appeared on Qi Leren’s moonlit face. She held Ning Zhou's hand, leaned over, and kissed her on the cheek: "Thank you for saving me today. Goodnight, Ning Zhou."

It was too close. When she had neared, Ning Zhou had almost turned over and stopped her, but the sweet smell of the girl puzzled her and she didn't move until her soft lips pressed to her cheek.

Qi Leren, who had kissed the goddess, lied back, and the quilt covered the lower half of her face, which also covered her hand clutching Ning Zhou’s.

Strange joy and pain haunted her at the same time. In such a complicated mood, she breathed another person's breath and gradually fell asleep.

The night was silent and long, but Qi Leren, who had always slept well, suddenly woke up. She hesitated, rubbed her eyes, and got out of bed to go to the toilet without realizing that she was the only one in the big bed.

When she walked to the bathroom, she looked at the mirror with a yawn. She looked sleepy in her reflection. Just when she was about to go out of the bathroom, she suddenly looked back with a start - the toothbrush cup on the washstand wasn’t hers!

The sleepiness was washed away at once and Qi Leren recalled, because the bathroom on the second floor had been lent to Ning Zhou, she had moved her things to the bathroom on the first floor, but... Where was Ning Zhou?!

Qi Leren ran out of the bathroom, shouting Ning Zhou's name and searching everywhere. There was no one in the bedroom, no one in the bathroom downstairs, no one in the living room, no one anywhere! A slipper fell off as she ran and Qi Leren suddenly thought of something, running to look at the shoe cabinet by the front door with one foot bare - Ning Zhou's shoes were gone.

She was gone?

Qi Leren sat down in front of the piano, angry and wronged. Why did Ning Zhou quietly leave in the middle of the night without saying a word? Why?

Maybe it was something urgent, Qi Leren thought sullenly, picked up the slippers she had dropped as she ran, and walked slowly back to her bedroom.

Once again back to the warm bed, Qi Leren sleeplessly rolled back and forth. When she was finished shooting the music video tomorrow, she would have to ask Ning Zhou.

Suddenly, an idea came to Qi Leren’s mind: Wait, was it because she snored and grinded her teeth when she slept, so Ning Zhou left because she couldn’t bear it?

Qi Leren held her face on both hands, like the frightened figure in "The Scream". After all that effort to convince the goddess to sleep in the same bed as her, she had made it unbearable for her to stay!

Qi Leren, who was on the verge of collapse, tearfully wanted to pick up her cellphone and turn on the camera. She wanted to record herself sleeping. How could a beautiful girl who was an idol sleep so badly? No, she refused!

With the cellphone set to record, Qi Leren lied back in bed, pulled the quilt up to cover half of her face, and the moonlight outside the balcony window was still clear. She still remembered that she had looked at Ning Zhou's face against the moonlight a few hours ago, and she was so curious about her, but when the tip of the iceberg of her past was uncovered, she couldn't help but feel distressed for her. She knew that the past Ning Zhou had told her of had been modified. She was not as relaxed and happy as she’d said. When she approached her, the stiff and cold alertness of her body could not deceive people.

Qi Leren didn't know what kind of experiences would make her develop these habits. Unlike her, this little princess who was brought up in the greenhouse from childhood and grew up like a star, Ning Zhou's wounds, cold eyes, and precise marksmanship... All the details implied that she is not a person of that world at all.

But so what? Couldn't different people be friends? She just liked Ningzhou, loved her dearly, and wanted to make her happy. She wanted to give her the most beautiful songs and show her all the bright, warm, and happy feelings. As long as she could get a little bit of happiness and a little bit of the world under the sun, she would feel it was worthwhile.

Since childhood, Qi Leren had received a lot of love. Now she wanted to give her love to Ning Zhou. She wanted her to feel that being loved was a very happy thing.

Thinking about this, sleepiness surged up again, and Qi Leren yawned and glanced at the moonlight on the balcony before closing his eyes.

When she was beginning to drift, Qi Leren felt that there seemed to be some movement by the bed. She opened her eyes in a daze and saw Ning Zhou lying down softly with her back to her.

"Where have you been?" Qi Leren murmured dreamily.

"...The bathroom."

Liar.

Qi Leren suddenly woke up, but she didn't open her mouth to confront her. Instead, she pretended to answer in a daze, stretched out her hand and continued to close her eyes. She could smell that the shower gel on Ning Zhou's body had changed, which wasn’t the smell of her family's shower gel.

Recalling the scene in which she had shot and killed the monster in the Nightmare World at dusk, Qi Leren knew her whereabouts well.

The fragrance couldn’t deceive her of the smell of iron and blood it masked.

Let's not expose her, Qi Leren thought. She took Ningzhou's hand and interlocked their fingers. Either way, this time she won't loosen her hand again.

When she was about to fall into a deep sleep again, Qi Leren felt vaguely as if someone had leaned over and said something to her, but she was too tired to fully register it before she lost consciousness.

Ning Zhou should have gotten up at dawn, but her hand was clasped tightly. As soon as she turned her face she could see Qi Leren sleeping soundly, with long eyelashes, red cheeks, and slightly open lips. What do you think is so lovely about me? Ning Zhou watched quietly for a long time, letting the sun rise higher and higher.

There was the sound of opening the door downstairs and someone came in. Ning Zhou, who had excellent five senses, frowned. These were a woman's footsteps. Was it Qi Leren's mother? Was it better for her to avoid them?

But Qi Leren also said that it was normal for girls here to sleep together...

The bedroom door was pushed open rudely and the woman with slender eyebrows and a good figure stood outside the open door and angrily knocked on it: "What time is it, is your cellphone not on, do you remember that you have to go shoot the music video today? Hurry and get up!"

Chen Baiqi, the agent who killed people in Qi Leren's family*, was about to rush in and pull her up. But when she looked at it from a distance, there were two people in the bed!

*{E/N: metaphorically, in case that wasn’t clear}　　

At this moment, Chen Baiqi, a senior agent, was about to collapse: Qi Leren! Do you still remember that you’re an idol acting as a role model for young and beautiful girls? Why is there a wild man! You can't fall in love before changing your image! How have you already developed to this step!

The "wild man" sat up from the bed and looked at Chen Baiqi coldly.

Oh, it's not a wild man. That's great... Like hell! Who is this woman!

With her hair a mess, Qi Leren yawned as she sat up in bed, looked back at Ning Zhou, and kissed her on the cheek naturally: "Good morning, Ning Zhou."

Chen Baiqi: "..."

"Oh, Chen-jie, this is my classmate. I’m a little scared of sleeping alone, so I let her accompany me," Qi Leren talked nonsense without a hint of shame.

"...Hehe." Chen Baiqi thought: Don't smile, your parents aren’t home half the time. How did you sleep before?

The girl named Ning Zhou nodded to her and went to wash up. Qi Leren took Chen Baiqi to the bathroom downstairs and explained the situation to her while brushing her teeth and washing her face. Paranormal, met yesterday, couldn't be spoken of. She had to say that there had been a small incident with a mugger as she had been walking home yesterday, and she was just saved by her classmate Ning Zhou. Since she was a little afraid, she had asked her to please stay for one night.

Chen Baiqi was skeptical but she couldn't say anything, so she let her quickly wash up so they could go to the studio.

Qi Leren remembered that her cellphone was recording her last night, and it should have automatically shut down when the battery had been depleted. No wonder Chen Baiqi came to her house in such a hurry to catch her in person.

After washing, Qi Leren, who had forgotten to eat breakfast, told Ning Zhou that there was food in the refrigerator. The auntie will come to clean up later and she could leave a note for her. She should just say what she wanted for the evening.

Ning Zhou had the illusion that she lived here.

After telling Qi Leren that she had something to go do, Qi Leren let out a "oh" in frustration and reluctantly followed Chen Baiqi to get in the car that would drive them to the shooting location.

Chen Baiqi inquired about Ning Zhou from beginning to end along the way, and Qi Leren said all the things that should be said, but didn't say a word that shouldn't be said. Chen Baiqi's intuition was that Ning Zhou wasn't so simple, but without evidence she couldn't rashly make Qi Leren stay away from her.

Finally, she sighed: "Your identity is unusual. You should be very careful when making friends. If you meet someone with ulterior motives who enters your room, secretly films you, eavesdrops on you, and reveals your privacy to the media, it will be a great blow to your image, especially as your current image is very sensitive to negative news."

Qi Leren knew that Chen Baiqi is good for her and obediently listened to her instructions.

"Although your last transformation was very successful and you got rid of the image of a little girl, this transformation is the key. If you can't jump out of the image of a young girl now, your journey will only get narrower and narrower. You’ll find that as you grow older you’ll be hired for fewer and fewer roles, and there are always young new faces to replace you. The audience doesn't want to see a 30-year-old actress playing a 17- or 18-year-old girl. Your mother's train of thought is very clear, she will take the time to find a drama for you where she can play mother and daughter with you - your mother also fights for you, she never promised to play such an age-exposing role before - this stunt can drive your popularity, if you play well, you’ll play the leading role in the next show, and when the small screen stands firm, it will develop like your mother to the big screen. The company is already discussing your new image and route. When you go to college it will begin, and then you won’t be as leisurely as you are now." Chen Baiqi couldn't help rubbing her temples when she thought of how busy she would be in the future.

"I’ll try my best, Chen-jie, thank you for taking so much trouble for me." Qi Leren cleverly said that although she was the one standing in front of the audience, there were countless people worried about her behind the scenes/ She had gone too far today and Chen Baiqi had helped her block trouble she didn’t know about.

It wasn’t easy to be an actress. Qi Leren looked at the passing scenery outside the window and sighed softly.

But it was no harder than being an exorcist. As Qi Leren thought again, she couldn't help smiling at the thought of Ning Zhou. They would have many opportunities to get along with each other in the future.

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Editor’s Notes: To be continued...? (don’t hold your breath)

Phew, this was a longer chapter than I remembered, but this completely caps off Nightmare Game part 1! I have one more little bonus of funny things from the mtl, which can be found [here] if you’re interested.

Thank you once again to everyone for reading and I’ll see you again in part 2! :)

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