#me: it's fine if you love halloween but it's kind of creepy the way capitalism smothers & reshuffles cultural traditions for optimum profit

[hedgehog-moss]

I used to roll my eyes impatiently when I’d start a nonfiction book like an anthology of essays about dogs on sailboats and the introduction spent 15 pages carefully defining words like “What is understood under the term sailboat is the type of boat that has one or several sails—” But you get 1 post on tumblr with a few thousand notes and find yourself being nitpicked to death by anons and having to be like “why would you even think that’s what I meant by recently and shoes” and next thing you know your feelings when you pick up the anthology have shifted to “you didn’t define dog... that’s brave...”

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Belle Of The Ball: Dark! King! Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: So this my first ever proper dark fic and I’m so nervous. I finished it but my mind thinks it’s garbage. so I’m gonna post this now when I’m feeling a random spurt of courage and am confident in my work. So here’s my masterpiece, cookies.

This is for Dark!MCU  Festive Fic swap hosted by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor  and @darkmcuficswap

My giftee is @hermesmaximoff Hope you enjoy it love!

Thanking @firefly-graphics for the dividers: both personalised and general.

There is also an amateur somewhat okay shitty poster I decided to make which is included at the end.  

WARNING: THIS IS A DARK FIC CONTAINING DUBIOUS CONSENT BORDERING NON-CON AND EXPLICIT SMUT. YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. LOSS OF VIRGINITY, ABUSE OF AUTHORITY, BREEDING KINK ALSO PRESENT.

Summary: Invited to the Royal ball by the benevolent monarch, you could barely control your excitement to visit the Capital. While you were busy admiring his prosperous reign, King Steve was quite occupied getting enamoured by you. As you try to fulfil the King’s demands, secrets find their way out.

CHARACTERS + GENRE: DARK!STEVE ROGERS X READER, SUPERNATURAL STEVE ROGERS X READER (read to find out what), ROYAL AU, HALLOWEEN THEME (I tried for the request, hope you do like it)

King Steve Rogers invites the princes and the princesses of all Kingdoms, near and afar,

To celebrate his several years of reign.

He requests thy kind and noble presence

At the joyous regale

of his auspicious ball

On the thirty first of October,

after sundown, in His Majesty’s finest castle.

Challenging thy with the unique theme of

A Halloween Masquerade Ball,

The King expects exceptional indulgence from all.

 The Most Grandiose Halloween Celebration is being organised with the spookiest of events within.

Come here if you dare.

“We have been invited to a royal party! My day couldn’t have been better!” Your elder sister exclaimed, jumping quite unladylike in your chambers, as you went through the details of the venue. You chuckled at her antics, knowing rather well that she would be scolded if someone else was present. 

“Emma, Mother has to approve first. As Lady Ava always says, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

“As if mother would really decline an invite from the King, dear sister.” She rolled her eyes at you, not letting her enthusiasm die as you pondered over her words.

Your sister had a point though, the King summoning your presence was not to be taken lightly. The invitation came up handwritten in a scroll with the King’s wax seal atop it. It was placed elegantly beside a golden mask in a rectangular black box, that bore the Majesty’s sigil on the front.  

The theme of the ball wasn’t that peculiar if you reflected over it, the renowned monarch was also recognised for his distinct interest in eerie, unearthly beings. He was known for adventuring into haunted lands, mysterious manors and sinister soils, meeting up with people rumoured to be sorcerers and occultists.

Of course, the reason for his encounters was sometimes rumoured to be because of his familial distress, how he couldn’t find a mate to procreate with and conceive his own heir no matter what. Three females, who were pregnant with a progeny of his blood, none his wife though, had died during the first two or tercet months, reason unspecified why.  

Coming to You, you and your sister weren’t actual princesses, rather the daughters of one of the esteemed Ministers in the King’s cabinet. The benevolent King, however referred to the daughters of the town, more exactly, the Kingdom, as noblewomen. He held high reverence for the females and was the sole creditor to the improved condition of the women in this era. No matter how troubled his own life was, the King was the most merciful royal to be crowned to date, his people prospering under him.

Your sister nodded eagerly to your mother, drinking in her words like the fine tea you all had in the afternoons, while you just smiled at her advice.

 When you both met your mother for dinner, you were surprised to find her already informed about the invitation. Her conformity to the celebration astonished you even more, but Emma’s zeal was starting to rub off on you too by the end of the meal. 

Your mother continued, “Your father mentioned The Majesty is looking for a wife, quite possibly. He has been insistent in trying to get a successor the correct way this time, by courting the lady who piques his interest. Even though this might be a rumour, or some gossip spun by the ladies of the Cabinet, you both should try your best to be graceful and presentable. Among the hundreds of guests, he’d be having over, on the off-chance, if Gods allow, that either of you manages to entice him, it will only promise you the most pleasant of all forthcomings. It would also do me and your father some good, if you managed to find some other suitable bachelor, from a nice background to engage with.”

Your sister had always been one with the more overactive imagination out of you two, while you had been the more serene and poised one. When she’d be out playing with the children in your town, you’d be talking to the younger toddlers, drawing with chalks on the side. For every kid she splashed with water in the nearby sapphire river, you made tots flower crowns. These were the values you both grew up with, and these will be the values you’d die with.

After days of shopping velvet fabrics and silk textiles, and bothering your seamster to make sophisticated and stylish dresses, you both neared your day of departure. After some instructions to you both to represent your father and town well, your mother bid you adieu. It was nerve wracking to not have your mother by your side, for an event as big as this was, but since you both had passed more than twenty name days, you were expected to be proper, independent ladies. 

With a heavy heart and some self, positive affirmations, you and your sister embarked on the voyage, which was filled with her chitchat.

You only hoped that the gala was as exciting as your family made it out to be. That it was just a King trying to celebrate his sovereign with some western festival integrated together. That the event would not be as unnerving and creepy as the last line of his invitation made it out to be. 

For some unknown cause, it did not sit well with you. Your apprehensive intuition made you wary of the invitation for some reason, but you let your sibling’s zest take you over. What benefit would fretting get you?

The ball was far more pompous than anything you’d have imagined in your little head. All the ideas that Emma had come up with during your journey, to anticipate the extent of extravagance for the ball, were all exceeded with tenfold finesse. You had travelled to faraway, distant lands with your parents, but the King’s mansion, with all the festivity happening, was truly a sight to behold.

Entering The Capital had been the highlight of your excursion, you were sure earlier, but well you were proved wrong. Your father greeted you both when you had arrived, eager to see his angels after almost six moons, and had ensured you both got the best of the accommodations in the well-built, enormous fort. He introduced you to several of his comrades as well as their brooding, young lads and then, left you both to rest for the main event next eve. With two maids at your every beck and call, courtesy of your father, your time went smoothly and now you found yourself at the said Halloween themed celebration, staring around in awe of every little detail that had been so meticulously handled to make the event as dazzling as it was.

The servants were dressed rather ridiculously as cats, wearing some bizarre structure resembling cat ears, horribly short black dresses barely past their thighs and some whiskers draw using either coal or makeup, you weren’t sure. It was a poor attempt to make them appear feline. However, the food was as immaculate as everything else, entirely themed like only blood red wine, candied apples, chicken pumpkins, cheesecake brain, mummy muffins, some appetizer with bell peppers as jack-o-lanterns; these were the few that met your sights.

The hall was so grand, almost the size of three jousting arenas and playing fields combined with pillars having detailed architecture supporting the place. The walls were covered in scarlet, golden and black velvet drapes, the royal colours, and beautiful masquerade masks were pinned atop them, along the walls. Almost hundred round, white clothed tables filled the ballroom, with gold plated candlesticks and utensils upon them. The entire place had entertainers progressing around, the essence of it being magicians, clowns, contortionists, palm and tarot card readers. 

In the centre of the hall, was an empty space, reserved for the soon to be ensuing dancing. An orchestra on the side had beautiful instruments, playing soft melodies for now, reserving the upscale beats for later.

You had only read a few books on Halloween to be prepared but nothing could have geared you up for this. Your small-town self was gaping at everything with a childlike wonder while somehow your sister was quite composed and calm, somehow your roles had been reversed. 

Emma was wearing a blue gown, having several layers of nets and cloth, each a different shade of azure. She tried to dress as the mythical creature called mermaid, with crystal heels and a beaded neckline. Her masquerade mask had scales like fish, made using shining sequins. She looked so gorgeous, truly managing to look captivating.

You on the other hand were dressed like an angel, which you were against, finding it too mainstream and typical and wanted to dress like an enchantress with violet and jade colours, which your mother immediately negated. On demand of your sister, she let you wear a fluffy white ball gown, and had you made wings with dove feathers, an apparatus which was astonishingly light to wear. Using her art and craft skills, Emma made you a headband with two wires attached to a metal ring, shaped like an angel’s halo. The loop at top made of some special metal that glowed golden in the dark, making it look like a real, floating halo. Your mask had a fur lining on it, and silver sparkles were sprinkled all over you, with pretty makeup on your face, courtesy of your sibling.

The change in music brought you out of your reverie, as trumpets and harps began to hum, signifying the arrival of the King on the grand staircase. He had a crimson red velvet cape descending his broad shoulders, his tuxedo underneath could hide neither his long legs nor his bulging, protruding biceps. His black, shining shoes cost more than your entire apparel, you were certain. 

As your gaze ascended his masculine form, you were mesmerised furthermore with his high cheekbones, full lips tainted cherry pink, a Grecian slanting nose, sleek eyebrows, luscious blonde hair, a thick beard and the best of all yet, cerulean blue eyes, the prettiest you’d ever seen in the entirety of your small life. The ladies beside you, Emma included, had the same reaction whether they had witnessed his Highness before or not. Every female’s gaze seemed to flicker between his azure eyes and the Golden crown resting atop his blonde locks, flooded with rubies and emeralds and gemstones you weren’t sure your books had.

For a moment you felt his eyes land on you, which surprised you even more so, that you questioned yourself about it, but his cheeky grin and wink confirmed it, make you shiver involuntarily as heat spread through your face while a titillating stir ran through you, a first for you. His impeccably white teeth were clearly visible now, showing two elongated canines, which finally gave you a sense of his attire, paired with his blush lips, A Vampire.

He spoke a few words, eyes unsteadily wavering, observing different members of the gathering. He let the dances commence, partnering with his most suitable match at the festivity, the daughter of the wealthiest lord. After the first song was over, other couples joined alongside him while you stood at the side, observing everything. Only mere moments ago had your sister been courted by a young man, the two of them shooting each other coy glances since they had entered. 

A tap on your shoulder had you puzzled, you turned around focus landing on warm, brown eyes. You recalled him to be Lord Stark’s son, Peter, having met him yesterday at dawn. His familiar brown eyes gave you sense of comfort, which you liked, not being alongside Emma now.

“Shall we?” He asked, his cheeks ruby like yours were, as he extended the palm of his hand towards you. You giggled, smiling like a little babe who got extra cookies for dessert, and accepted his hand. Sauntering to the dancing arena, you only prayed to The Heavens above that Lady Ava taught you enough to embarrass neither yourself nor your guild.

Tracing his steps and following his lead, you did manage to dance without falling, which was a surprise seeing how spread out your wings were. You and him made easy conversation, about your hometowns and interests.  You saw your Father proudly looking at you and Emma, dancing with lads, you guessed, he approved of.

As the song ended and the orchestra played a transitioning tune between the melodies, a cough sounded beside you as you and Peter stopped. Your eyes widened as you nervously curtsied beside Peter, A ‘Your Majesty” falling from both your lips.

“If it’s not too much trouble, may I share a dance with the most stunning dame here?” 

Peter politely stepped back, letting go of your waist, as The King’s wide stature more than filled his place. Your heart was beating rather loudly, blood pumping to your ears as you tried to make sense of what was happening. In your peripheral vision you could see the prying eyes of others looking at you both, ready to criticize you for one wrong move. Your father watched intently, a slight warning in his eyes to not mess this opportunity up while your sister comfortingly smiled at you. You tried to even your breaths and make sense of what he was saying, to not just stand and gape like a fool in court.

As the harmony played out, he swayed you around, lifting you up and twirling you around. Compliments spewed out from his lips, making you crimson like freshly ripened apples. You couldn’t keep up with your expression of gratitude through your words as he admired your eyes, your elegance and your ensemble which just couldn’t make him shift his eyes from you. 

After two songs had played out, he left as suddenly as he had come, with a promise to meet you later. You watched him dance with other maidens, who approached him when you were dancing together, entertaining every approaching lady like an excellent host.

You made your way to the side, hoping to get some liquor, or at least some fluid in your veins and not faint right there this moment. Emma came up beside you while you were having wine, and rubbed your back in a parental way. Her eyes communicated her understanding of how overwhelmed you felt at the instant. Her date and Peter soon came and kept you both company for the rest of the night. As duos danced and people got intoxicated, you had to call it a night on behalf of your sister, her incessant giggling make you worried for her inebriated self. 

You slipped her out before your father caught her and gave her a stern talking to and tucked her in her bed keeping a glass of water and some fresh fruits for her on the bedside wooden bench. You concluded retiring for the night yourself but only after assuring your father of your whereabouts and well beings. Before returning to the hall, you took off your wings and the halo, also opting to leave the mask behind as the fur tickled your skin. Your makeup hadn’t ruined in the heat of the hall, it was a miracle. You made your way to the Hall, hoping to find your father, assumingly drunk with all his entourage.

Two hallways before the decorated ballroom were you pinned to the wall, one hand of your attacker covering your parted lips while the other held your face delicately, with a lover’s touch. A split second was all it took for you to be immobilised by this man and another by your wavering form to recognise the cobalt blue eyes and blonde curls. When The King was certain you wouldn’t scream, his hand left your mouth slid upwards, mirroring his other hand, with thumbs in front of your ears and palms resting on your cheeks.

“Your Majesty?” You mumbled back, your voice somehow even lower, afraid for yourself and even more so terrified to offend him.

“Say, would you come for a while to my chambers, the view of the creek from my balcony is splendid.”

His choice of words gave you an option, but his eyes, almost hypnotically told you there was only one correct answer.

“You are the one, I can feel it.” He whispered lowly but your heightened senses gladly picked it up.

You meekly nodded, your inner self surprised at your body moving of its accord alongside him, as your mind started voiding of thoughts like reporting to your father, checking up on Emma. You felt like you were trapped in someone else’s form and fought with an invisible force to take over the reins of your own body.

You did not fail to notice the lack of guards outside the King’s chamber and how every entrance managed to open itself. The King wasn’t lying about the picturesque scene though, as you stood in the balcony, hair getting ruffled by the strong breeze that seemingly came from nowhere.

Your body stiffened as King Steve came uncharacteristically close to you and slid his hands around your middle, his nose nestled in your locks, inhaling deeply.

His lips descended your neck, laying feathery kisses on his path as you stood there, unable to even move your hands or turn around. This out of body sensation was broken when you felt intense pain on piercing of your skin where your head met your torso. You suddenly gained all wits and enough strength to flail your limbs around but all your might wasn’t enough to even stir the man from his task. Your throat couldn’t gather enough energy to scream, though you doubted anyone would come. You started getting light headed and only then did he stop, carrying you in his arms to his widespread four poster bed, mattress as soft as sponge and sheets as silky as butter. Too weak to fight him off, you harvested all your energy in staying conscious as your gaze danced around, trying to make sense of every object present but not awake enough to notice too many details. The wine you drank did not make it any better.

As you laid on the stranger’s bed, you felt his body sit beside you, holding your neck; leaning down, his lips meeting yours for the first time. You did not reciprocate, neither did you have the strength nor the will, while his tongue slipped inside your mouth, roaming around like a traveller in foreign land.

As the kiss drew on, you felt some energy sidle inside you, enough for your mind to function again but not ample enough to fight off the brawny thief who robbed you of your first kiss. King Steve broke off the kiss and connected your foreheads together, his indigo eyes turning black in want, leaving you a frightening and gasping mess.

He backed away, sitting more straighter now as his hand drew back from around your neck and slid along your stomach, nearing the most intimate part of your body, even though there were still layers of cloth present. His hands did not stop there, however, and made their way downwards only stopping at the hem of your gown and slipping inside.

You shrieked out suddenly, becoming aware of his intentions quite late and grasped his wrist that rested now on your knee. 

“Your Majesty, I……I can’t-”

“Do you wish to refuse your King?”

You looked down, caught in the dilemma of wanting your safety and offending him once again. Your virtue had to be preserved till marriage, your mother had taught you, but on the other hand, the King’s words were the law.

“Answer Me.” The King’s cold voice broke through your thoughts, not a shout but still scarier than a yell.“

Your Majesty, I’ve never engaged in s-” You started tearing up, lower lip wobbling and body shaking at the thought of the future. You did not see this ending beneficial in any scenario. If you lost your virtue, you would never get wed but if you refused the King and he felt insulted, your family and your connections would be in the ruins, he held that much power over you.

Cradling your face with his other hand, he began again, “You think I’m not already aware, pretty one?” The man who was reprimanding you only few moments ago upon not answering him, had a smile on his face this time: not assuring or comforting, but malicious and sinister to its very core. “I could smell your untainted scent from my room, before even descending the stairs.”

“Your e-eyes..” You gaped again as colours morphed in his eyes, red now swirling around in the pools of darkness, his words lost on you as you felt your fear rising due to the inhumane action.

“For an intellectual, bibliophilic girl, you sure are oblivious, sweetheart.” He scoffed, looking unimpressed at you, “Come on, prove to me you aren’t heedless like the rest, draw the conclusion." His eyes held yours, again altering into hues of different colours, seemingly mocking you now. 

You don’t know how the thought jumped into your head, maybe because the two holes on your neck stung suddenly or because the automatically opening doors entered your mind, the contemplation that his fangs appeared so realistic and authentic the more you stared at them paired with the blood on his collar, not just the fresh red stain of your plasma but also the burgundy stain present there, giving his lips the cherry red shade you admired hours ago on his arrival at the event.

“This is not a co-costume, no-” You inhaled a quick breath, “you are a vampire.” Your face paled in realisation while he smirked proudly, tapping your knee in a weird, twisted form of appreciation.

“Tremendous, my dear. But only half, you see. My mother was one, yes, but my father, he gave me an even better ability, he was an Incubus.” You shuddered as the words sunk in, your only worry being staying alive now, when your life was in the hands of this sex demon, having the greatest of powers and strength. Your mind did not spend any time mulling over the existence of supernatural beings, only dwelling on possible escapes now.

“That is why even your untouched body couldn’t help but react to my form and it is also the very reason, that I can read what goes on in your mind, all your memories, your hobbies, every book you’ve read, your precious sister, Emma isn’t it? So please, do not even think about fleeing if you don’t want your family to suffer.”

The threat loomed in the air, nasty sobs wracking your body as his thumb came to wipe the tears off. His hands started undoing the lace on the front of your bodice as you sniffled. Managing to quieten down just a bit, you begged, “Please don’t do this, I’ll have nowhere to go if my family found about me partaking in this unholy deed before marriage.” You had little hope about him seeing reason but there was optimism nonetheless. 

“Darling, do not fuss that I’ll leave you unhinged and deserted after finding pleasure in your body, you are to be mine now. Essentially, you already are.” His lips claimed yours again as the front of your dress slackened, bundling around your waist.

You pulled back, surprised at his promise, “You mean that?” He nodded, coming to kiss you again. You turned so that his lips met your neck, tongue licking the salt residue of tears there. “In what sense?”

“In every sense you could think of and more. I’ll give you everything, make you my queen, would you like that?” He mumbled in your neck, tongue now soothing the two punctured cavities residing there.

You could feel yourself crossing your legs involuntarily, trying to caress the abrupt yearning in your intimate part, your underclothes dousing with wetness somehow. Steve smirked in your neck, sitting upright and playing his trump card.

“I’ll marry you and we’ll rule together with the plenty of successors you’ll give me. Won’t that make your parents proud? Isn’t that what your parents taught you? Catch the King’s eye?” You meekly nodded, his charisma of an Incubus winning you over. “I’ll make your father The King’s Hand and send your mother the finest of jewels and gems, satins and silks.” He looked over at your submissive form, looking at him with the innocence of a toddler, swayed by his promises.

“I’ll let your sister have a grand wedding with the man she dears. All you have to do is surrender yourself to me and be my Queen, rule alongside me. So I ask, will you?” You cut him off, your lips pressing against his as you tried to mimic his earlier movements. He held your waist, surprised but pleasantly so, crushing the layers of the rolled top half of your dress underneath his hands. You had very little idea about what bedding someone meant but you had this primal urge to not have any skin of yours covered or untouched by him.

Steve shed his cape and threw every cloth on his torso away, almost as eager as you to get skin to skin contact. Your hands tangled in his hair as he lifted you up and sat you in his broad lap, not before sliding your dress all the way down. As he broke the kiss and took in your body, parts of you hidden under the smallclothes, he let out a growl that frightened yet excited you with another shiver down your spine. 

He made quick work of his bottoms, his cock standing and reaching his muscled chest almost and you gaped. Your sister, Emma had informed you of men’s parts being far much smaller than what you had just witnessed. His member stood erect and proud, glistening as he pumped it with his fist. His eyes drank in your surprise and trepidation, getting amused and turned on even more. 

You still laid stretched across the bed, legs straight ahead of you while your torso rested on your elbows, eyes wary of his every next movement.  He eyed your scantily clad body, gaze filled with lust and nothing more and climbed between your legs, one hand coming down on your waist while the other grabbed the back of your head and pulled you into a possessive kiss, robbing you of your breath. Your mind was slowly registering the reality of it all, this was going to happen no matter what. You were going to sin by engaging in fornication. But is it really wrong if your benevolent king demands that of you?

His hand sliding from your face to your bosom distracted you from your chain of thoughts. He slid the cups of your garment revealing your nipples and took one in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it while his other pinched the abandoned one. You didn’t know if you should be more surprised at his actions or the rush of the feelings that ran through you.

He slowly released your nipple and trailed soft kisses down your stomach to your most intimate part yet, kissing it through the cloth there. His delicate touch was abruptly contrasted with him grabbing the fabric, tearing it into two and revealing you bare. 

You closed your legs out of instinct but his heavily muscled hand took them apart in a single push. He eyed you with a warning, to not obstruct him anyhow anymore.

“Let me taste that sweet nectar of yours, sweetheart. I really want to find out if it is as addictive as my senses picked it up, as sweet as the aura that surrounds you.”

And with that he dove into your pussy, his tongue roaming your wet cavern. Neither did you understand what he spoke of nor had you sister told you about the activity happening right now. But all you could do was focus on the astonishingly pleasant shivers running through you as you had an out of the body, more accurately an out of the world experience. You had no sense of the time that passed and how long you laid there clutching the silk sheets letting out mewls. But out of nowhere, something in you snapped and all your energy left you. 

As your blurry vision cleared and your eyes found his face, he licked his still glistening lips, his beard moist and wet but erotically so. He dove right into kiss again and you tasted your own sweet nectar for the first time ever. His hand roamed your body, grabbing your curves and caressing your soft flesh. 

One of his hands made its way down furthermore and spread your fluids along your folds, and then lined up himself along your hole. With a sudden push, you felt yourself being full like never before, and a sudden pain hit you as your face visibly flinched. Steve swallowed your grunts of pain with his kisses and started rubbing your bud above your linked bodies. 

The shudder that ran through you once again made you incapable of thinking, the ache slowly subsiding behind the pleasure you felt. When your moans filled the air, Steve kissed your collarbones and sucked leaving bruises there, and started thrusting again. As his movements became faster and consistent, and his callused hands rubbed you and pinched your intimate flesh, you ascended to another world. Each action of his introduced you to a new star in the wide galaxy. The same unknown descended upon you again as something snapped in your abdomen and you experienced pure bliss. 

“Going to make you the mother of my children, you will carry my seed and bring the Kingdom several heirs. This time I’ll succeed, you will be mine, my Queen in every sense.” His words made you clench around him and that was all it took for him to achieve ecstasy as well.

Your head lolled and your eyes met his sweating frame lying across the silk sheets as a sinister grin adorned his face again, “I need to fuck a successor into you tonight, you ready?”  

[bronanlynch]

I enjoyed doing this last week so this is. a thing now I guess. click through for roundup of whatever media I’ve been into in the past week (will normally be on thursdays I think bc that’s the day I’m usually free but my schedule this week was weird) (inspired by the tuesday again thing that @girlfriendsofthegalaxy does)

listening: the new Mountain Goats album Getting Into Knives is very fun and full of bops, for a given value of both “fun” and “bops” because it’s The Mountain Goats so it does have that edge of depression but quite a few of the songs are a bit more. cheerful? than a lot of their other stuff, for lack of a better word

favorite track is probably The Rat Queen

listening (podcast edition): this very fun episode of Overinvested tearing apart the new movie adaptation of Rebecca which I have not seen and was not planning on seeing but I do enjoy people smartly analyzing why things aren’t good and also I do love discussions about Gothic romance

reading: The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall is probably a very good book that someone else will enjoy very much, as lots of people whose opinions I generally trust already have enjoyed it. and I possibly will enjoy more if I give it another chance, once I’ve gotten over being disappointed that it wasn’t what I was looking for right now. the premise is neat! the worldbuilding is cool! the characters are interesting! mermaids, witches, and seas are three of my favorite things and also there are pirates, my other fave thing!

the reason I bounced off of it so hard is that I kept seeing it hyped up as a trans/nonbinary book, and then felt kinda let down when I started reading it and realized that the main character whom I’ve seen described as genderqueer is 1) dressing as a guy because someone else suggested it for safety reasons and 2) this was several years before the story starts and this character still refers to herself exclusively (disclaimer that I didn’t read the full thing but. as far as I got and also I skimmed toward the ending) as she and by her feminine birthname. and those things are fine, that’s a valid gender story, nonbinary people can absolutely keep their old pronouns and names and it doesn’t make them any less nonbinary, but the way it was framed in the parts that I read felt to me more like the old classic ‘girl dresses as guy for plot reasons’ thing, which isn’t something I personally wanted to read more of right now, especially not when I went in expecting something that would resonate more with my gender experience

watching: I’ve been rewatching Leverage, since I only ever watched the first season many years ago because that’s what was free on hulu at the time, and the thing that’s really getting to me is how fundamentally hopeful it is. like, yeah, sure, the premise of it is about how capitalism is designed to fuck people over and there is A Lot about specifically health insurance being really really awful. so there are parts of it that are a lil bit too real, but then at the end of the day they always win and punish the rich capitalists and help their victims and it’s just. nice to see that kind of happy ending

the specific episode I’m having lots of thoughts about is the Mile High Job, which is about the team is trying to protect a potential corporate whistleblower from being murdered by her coworker while on an airplane. at first they’re not sure what’s going on because they weren’t expecting two people from the corporation to be on that flight, so they don’t know which person is the one they should be focusing on. one of them is an anxious younger woman and the other is an extremely generic man, and from the moment they decided that the woman was the one they had to protect I was dreading the plot twist of “no actually you just helped her take out her target and you should’ve been protecting the other guy” which would’ve felt just. so mean-spirited and cynical but it’s the kind of thing I expect from media I guess. and then once it was clear that nope, that twist wasn’t going to happen, I expected her to turn around at the end and be like “actually no I’m not gonna testify against the corporation because I’ve realized how dangerous it is.” and I kind of hate that I’ve become so jaded by both media and also the real world that I’m so ready to expect the most cynical option, because I’m not used to stories about how even though the system is corrupt and oppressive and exploitative, people can still help each and they do and sometimes they make things better

playing: got back into playing Dishonored after taking a couple weeks off because I got stuck and frustrated and also kept playing for too long at a time and giving myself headaches. Lady Boyle’s Last Party (which I am going to completely and entirely spoil so if you don’t want that this is your warning) is probably the mission that I have the strongest mixed feelings about. I love the approach to the party, I love the concept of sneaking into a masquerade ball, I love signing the guestbook with your actual legal wanted fugitive name while wearing the mask that you commit all of your crimes in, I love a good fancy party mission I cannot stress that enough it’s the sexiest possible setting

HOWEVER. trying to sneak around upstairs fucking sucks because the ceilings aren’t high enough for there to be places to hide, like convenient hanging lamps or pipes to blink up to. my least favorite room in this entire game is that art gallery because you can get on top of the cases and you think you’re safe because you’re Up but then the guards spot you instantly and sound the alarm and the entire party shuts down and then you let them kill you so that you can go back to your last save

ADDITIONALLY, fuck the nonlethal option for this one. I hate it so much and feel so incredibly gross about choosing it but I also feel extremely not great about tricking her into meeting me alone and then actually assassinating her. the conversation is so uncomfortable that I tried to be like “actually no nevermind” which causes her to think you’re weird and creepy and she has the guards ““throw you out”“ which apparently in Dunwall is just how you say that she’s gonna have the guards murder you. but anyway. she's a shitty rich lady but she doesn't deserve either of the things that could happen to her and she's only a target because she's sleeping w a guy who sucks. she hasn’t done anything! she isn’t actually responsible for what happened to Jessamine or Emily! which works on a narrative level in my opinion because this is the last mission before you go after the lord regent and it’s becoming clear that the loyalists are just using Corvo for their own agenda and don’t actually care about Jessamine. but it’s still unpleasant to be the one enacting it, y’know?

also on a narrative level, I really like the concept of doing a clean hands run except killing each of the actual targets, because I feel like that would be a cool inversion of the trope where the hero kills a bunch of mooks and then refuses to kill the big bad because murder is wrong. on a gameplay level, I’m still gonna do the nonlethal options because I refuse to risk getting the bad ending, and I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t killed anyone since getting out of prison. I do wanna do a high chaos playthrough at some point though just to see how it goes, since I went low chaos last time too

sorry for writing an entire essay about Dishonored but. the funniest thing from that mission is that apparently if you get spotted by one of the maids in the basement where you are not supposed to be (the guards will immediately attack if they see you) instead of raising the alarm she just says “welcome to the party.” love that solidarity.

making: none of my cosplay stuff is at an especially picture-worthy stage and I didn’t get pictures of the pesto I made for dinner last night so there’s not gonna be much that’s interesting here but I did go to Spirit Halloween after Halloween when everything was on clearance and got a bunch of stuff that I’m gonna use for cosplay eventually

writing: soon I will finish the Eddis/Attolia Queen’s Thief fic that’s been rattling around in my brain ever since I finished the last book. hopefully.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Over and Over

Inverted Character Intros 6/7: Jack

Tagging: @evyptids​ @awkward-bullshit​​ @watermelonsinmyattic​ @asunachinadoll​ @a-humble-narcissus​​ @metautske​ @odysseus-is-best-boi​ @acuriousquail​

“Hey bro, are you finished recording for the day?”

Jack pulled off his headphones and spun around to see his friend Chase peeking through the door to his recording room. “Oh hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

“Marvin’s back. He’s kinda...well, he wants to talk to everyone.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course.” Jack turned back around and paused the game he was playing, then stood up and followed Chase out of the recording room.

The upper floor of the house was mostly bedrooms, but there was also a closet, the recording room, and a room that Jackie kept locked. He said it was an office for his work, but Jack...wasn’t actually sure what that was. He asked a couple times, but Jackie had been evasive, and after a while Chase approached him and explained that Jackie was embarrassed, and asked that he stopped asking about it. Jack had immediately dropped the subject, not wanting to make his friend feel bad.

The downstairs, meanwhile, was the communal area. There was a kitchen, a dining room, a storage room, and a living room. Chase led Jack into the living room, which had a wall-mounted TV, a coffee table, two sofas, two armchairs, and three square tables. The one oddity was a tank in the corner, half-filled with a translucent green fluid. The glass had a jagged hole near the top, and small shards floated in the liquid inside. Jack’s eyes lingered on the tank for a long moment before looking at the other people in the room. Jackie was wearing his red hoodie, like always, and was slumped on one of the couches. Schneep was sitting on the other, filling out a stack of paperwork for his clinic. Jameson was sitting upright in one of the chairs. Marvin was pacing in front of the television, fuming. “The gang’s all here!” Jackie said when he saw Chase and Jack.

“Yeah, Chase said Marvin wanted to talk to us?” Jack sat down on the couch next to Schneep. He wrinkled his nose. The doctor had gone overboard with the cologne again. He kept telling him there was no reason to wear this much.

Marvin stopped pacing and looked at Jack, eyes bright behind his mask he always wore. “I lost them.”

Jack felt his heart stop. “Wh-what?”

“Are you sure?” Chase asked, moving over to sit in one of the chairs.

“Course I’m sure.” Marvin scowled. “That motherfucker has some good illusions up his sleeve. I thought everything was going perfectly, then I get back here and the thing fucking disappears.”

“Oh...” Jack said softly.

“That is unfortunate,” Schneep sighed. “Your Sam is unique, Jack. I have never seen anything like it. What luck, to have lost it!”

Jack instinctively opened his mouth to correct Schneep: Sam was a “they,” not an “it,” and they didn’t belong to Jack. But he stopped. Schneep had a hard time understanding that Sam, an eyeball, was actually sentient. It was no use trying to explain to him. He’d tried enough without success.

Jackie made a strangled kind of laugh. “We didn’t lose them, Henrik, they were taken and we need to get them back.”

“Can you shut up?” Marvin snapped. “I know I failed, you don’t need to fucking rub it in!”

{Marvin!} Jack jumped at the voice in his head. He was never going to get used to that. Jameson must’ve been broadcasting to the group as a whole, because everyone’s heads turned toward him. {Jackie didn’t mean that at all! Just because you’re in a tizzy doesn’t mean you need to lash out. If you’re going to continue to act this way, you can go chase yourself.}

“I’d prefer to stay, actually,” Marvin considered. “Alright, I’ll try to not do that.” Then he turned and continued his pacing.

“We’re sure we can get them back?” Jack asked nervously. “We’re really sure?”

“What do you take us for?” Schneep scoffed. “A batch of incompetents? Yes, we are sure.”

“That’s not what I—never mind. Sorry.” Jack sighed. “God, I hope Sam’s alright. They’d finally gotten used to living here.” He laughed a bit. “Only took them two years.”

“What?” Chase looked at Jack, head tilted, concerned. “Dude, you haven’t been here for two years.”

“Yeah we have.” Jack’s brow lowered as he remembered. “I...yeah.”

“You’ve been here for seven months, Jack.” Chase shifted back and forth in his seat. “You, uh, feeling okay?”

“No—no! We celebrated Christmas twice here! We had the year where we went to a hotel, then the year where we all stayed here. We got new sweaters then.”

“That was the same year, dude. It was only a couple months ago. We decided to go overboard? Because it was your first holiday with us? You moved in after Halloween last year? Any of this ringing a bell?”

“I...” Jack looked at the others for support, but they were all looking at him with variations of the same expression. “I could’ve sworn...”

{You’ve been pretty stressed lately,} Jameson pointed out. {Putting out all those videos, doing all those events. Perhaps the strain is getting to you.}

“Maybe you’re right...” Jack trailed off. “I’ve been thinking about taking a break...”

“Really?” Chase asked, interested. “I thought you loved YouTube.”

“Yeah, but—”

“I don’t take breaks, personally. But maybe that’s just me.”

“Oh. Well, then...” If Chase, of all people, still managed to keep to a schedule, with all the problems he had in his life, then he didn’t really have an excuse. “Yeah, you’re right. Stupid idea. I should—should probably get back to recording, actually.” He stood up.

{Capital idea,} Jameson said, giving a thumbs-up. {It’s rather late, actually. We should all go to bed.} He stood up as well.

“Not tired,” Jackie and Marvin said in unison.

“I have work to do.” Schneep looked back down to his paper work.

Chase merely shrugged.

Jameson looked to the ceiling, exasperated. {Well, if you four would prefer to burn the candle at both ends, you are free to do so. Meanwhile, I have business in the morning.}

“Really?” Jack asked.

{Oh yes. The cleaning company is sending a new maid over, and I plan to introduce her to the place. Show her around, where the problem areas are.}

“Ah! Man, those guys must have a quick rotation schedule, or whatever, there’s someone new here pretty often.” Wasn’t someone here most days? Just wandering about...? No, that wasn’t possible. He must be imagining things. Yeah, he definitely was, his vision was swirling in spirals a bit. He really needed to de-stress.

{It’s a big house! Needs lots of professional hands to take care of it!} Jameson bounced, hands on hips.

Jack held back a laugh. “Dude, I can’t take you seriously when you do that.”

Jameson shrugged, then turned on his heel and strode back towards the staircase. Jack followed. As he walked toward the staircase at the end of the hall, he noticed a door. It wasn’t anything unusual, looked just like the other doors. But he didn’t remember having ever been through it.

He stopped for a moment, considering. He’d been here for seven months, how was that possible? For a moment he paused. Then he decided to take a quick peek, just for the hell of it. He crossed to the door, grabbed the knob, and pulled it open.

Behind the door there was another hall. It was unlit, but he could make out the slight shape of a couple doors, and at the very end there was a staircase leading down into darkness.

It was kinda creepy. No, actually, it was very creepy. His breathing quickened, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and his vision became purple at the edges. He quickly shut the door and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. Freaky. Why did they have a place like that in the house? He’d have to ask them. But later. When his hands finally stopped shaking. God, it didn’t matter what it was for, he was never going through that door into such a...a scary place.

Jack opened his eyes, and frowned. He had the strangest feeling of deja vu. Whatever. He pushed away from the wall, gave the freaky door the side eye, and went upstairs. He had more important things to worry about.

He had more important things to do than worry.

He didn’t need to worry.

What was there to worry about?

Everything is fine.

At first I felt weird putting Jack in this AU. In the early stages I tried to make him a bad guy, but it felt too...I don’t even know how to describe it, I just wasn’t comfortable doing that when character Jack is based on real person Jack. So eventually I decided to keep him the same, but change everything around him. And then I realized that if I did that, there would probably be consequences...and the torture-the-cinnamon-roll part of my brain kicked into gear!

Inverted!Jack is still the Jack we all know and love, it’s just that some things have affected his behavior significantly. For one thing, he made friends with the wrong group of people. The Inverted!boys do like Jack, he’s a positive figure to have around! And he’s connected to lots of people! But they all simultaneously agreed he can’t know anything, and they need to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t know anything. Just go do your YouTube thing, Jack! Don’t ask why you’re afraid of certain areas of the house, or why you sometimes get a strong feeling of deja vu, or why you suddenly pass out when it’s late at night and the rest of us are having a meeting. That’ll make us upset, and you don’t want your friends to be upset, do you? What do you mean one of the fans you met disappeared? You’re probably wrong. You’re really stressed, but don’t take a mentally-refreshing break. Aw, did you forget something again? Classic Jack, haha. God, somebody help this boy.

[awriterorsomething]

Interviews With Some Monsters

If you haven’t already read The Carnival make sure you check it out before reading this one!

I’m sitting here with William Saxon. The ring leader, so to speak, of a travelling Halloween carnival, called Halloscream. Later on, I will be interviewing a few more guests from this wonderfully scary carnival. But, let’s get into this, shall we?

Tell me, Mr. Saxon, how did this whole thing start?

Hi Debra, it’s great to be here with you. It all started when my mother and father took me to see my first circus show. It was magical, and the performers had excellent tasting blood. Now that I think about it, that was my first real hunt with my parents. Rest their soulless bodies. Anyway, as I was cleaning the excess blood off myself, I thought about how fun it would be to have my own show like that. And before I know it, I’m five hundred years old, thirty-something in human years—don’t ask, I still don’t understand how ageing works among us vampires—and I’m recruiting all the best ghouls and monsters to join my creepy carnival on wheels.

That sounds… delightful! What sort of challenges did you face when you first got yourself started? And how long has it been since the first event?

Well, it definitely wasn’t easy. I honestly didn’t think it would take off. But once I gathered some friends and told them my plans, they were on board. Then word spread and more creeps were eager to help out. We figured out everyone’s role, what we wanted to have in our shows, and we had to do some research on human carnivals. At first, we were worried about humans not enjoying it because it was too scary. We then realized we could capitalize on Halloween, and went from there. Also, time doesn’t really affect us as it would with you, so it could be twelve or twenty years since our first rodeo, we don’t know.

It seems like that really worked out for you. What kind of things do you do to entertain your guests?

Great question, Deb—can I call you Deb?

Fine by me.

So, Deb, we do all kinds of things! For starters, we scare the heaven out of our guests. We have real haunted houses—although they don’t know they’re real—different rides, and some small acts throughout the place; juggling, sword eating, bobbing for poisoned apples, you know, the usual stuff. Most of our rides run on some magic from our lovely witches, and we’re lucky to have such a great team of talented freaks. Everyone gets paid by the scream! So we work hard. But it’s not all about the earnings, it’s about the guests too, of course. We love scaring them and seeing them all have a fantastic time. It really makes all of this worth it. Pardon me, I’m getting off track. Our forms of entertainment are as human as any other carnival; except for the special effects, I don’t suppose humans can pull their own faces off. We like to keep things as “normal” as we can. But, we do have a special after party for those who seem worthy enough to enter. Which I won’t get into because it’s VIP only, and I wouldn’t want to spoil the fun for anyone listening.

Very good. I have one more question for you before we move on to our other guests: are you ever worried that young people will stop being scared of ghosts and monsters? With today’s mainstream media, they might become desensitized to all the fake horror of the world, especially when there’s so much real horror that’s hard to ignore.

First of all, what we do isn’t fake. It’s real. We are real. We just tone things down for the public, so we don’t get shut down by the feds. And secondly, I try not to think about that, because I know kids these days are becoming more entertained by horror, than scared of it. I know some kids who laugh while they’re supposed to be getting scared. It’s tough business being a monster. Although, I have faith that we—the unexplainable—will always make people frightened and uncomfortable. Compared to the day-to-day horror we see in the news, there’s no easy way to explain us; what you see on the news is what you get. With us, you never know what will happen. We are, and hopefully always will be, the enigma of horror.

Excellent! Thank you for joining me, I appreciate you being open with me.

You’re welcome, Deb. You always have been my favourite journalist. Maybe we can meet up later, and I can show you my fangs if you know what I mea—

Okay, great. Thanks again, William.

Our next guest is Vivian Wyrm. She’s been with Halloscream for quite a while, and I’ve been told she is one of the resident witches. Welcome, Ms. Wyrm, thank you for being here today.

I didn’t really have a choice, vampy over there said that if I didn’t give an interview he’d stop letting me turn kids into animals. So, here I am.

Oh, well I’m glad you came. Now, can you tell me how this experience has been from your perspective?

It’s not bad; I get my own trailer, my own food, and everyone knows that if they try messing with this old lady they’ll get turned to soup—that’s another fun thing I like to do. I just like turning people into things in general. I can also summon the dead sometimes, just depends on who answers. I don’t have a very good track record with the ladies and gents downstairs, so they tend to hang up before things even get going.

And the carnival, do you like your job there?

Of course I do. Didn’t I just say that? You uppity people… I used to be like you, you know? Glowing skin, bright eyes… look at me now! I’m a goddess. You should really look into dark magic. I can teach you a thing or two if you’d like. Though, I do already have my hands full with my fellow witchy women. I don’t know what I’d do without that bunch.

Well, I—

How long do these things usually take? I’ve got a date with the devil and I need time to freshen up before I go.

Oh, you can go if you have somewhere to be, that’s fine Ms. Wyrm.

Great! Thanks. Good luck with… whatever this is. See ya.

Okay, have a good day Vivian.

Next on our list is Bobo The Clown. Hi there Bobo, how are you doing today?

Hiya! I’m great, Miss Debra! So happy to be here!

I’m glad! So, what do you do at Halloscream?

Well, I scare the kiddies, but I also like making them laugh. I like doing tricks for them and seeing their faces when the trick is over. One time I even learned how to pull a bunny out of a hat, but it didn’t turn out so well because I didn’t know it had to be alive… but anyway, I love the kids. They’re great. I guess my job is to make sure everyone is happy, happy happy!

It really seems like you enjoy yourself there. What do you think of your fellow carney’s?

I think they’re great! Well, mostly. Some of them can be mean, but that’s okay. I know it’s hard for them to control that. One time wolfie tried to eat me, but he didn’t like the taste, he said I tasted too much like candy and battery acid. I guess those acid baths really paid off!

Oh my… do you have a favourite trick to play on your guests?

Hmm, let me think… oh yes! I really like doing this thing where I use my own intestines to create balloon animals! I learned it from a friend of mine. Everyone thinks it’s fake, like some kind of cool special effect or something. But, it’s totally real. And before you ask, it doesn’t hurt at all. I’m not really sure why though… my supernatural abilities are kind of a mystery. My friends tell me that I was in an accident when I was human, and then they found me wandering around my corpse like a lost puppy. Oh, I do love puppies. Do you love puppies?

I do. That’s an interesting story Bobo, but unfortunately, your time is up here, and I need to bring in the next guest. It was wonderful speaking to you, thank you for sharing your experience.

Aww… okay. I liked talking to you. But I guess I’ll go. I hope you have a super amazing day Miss Debra!

Thank you again, Bobo.

Now, let’s welcome one of the many ghosts on the Halloscream team, Samuel… The Spookster?

Ayuh, that’s me. You like it? You like it, don’t you? Spooksta’. Sounds good, right? The big ol’ vamp over there told us we could call ourselves whatever we wanted. I thought this was a pretty nice pick; really rolls off the tongue… although, everything rolls off the tongue these days… because like, I can’t put anything in my mouth, because I’m dead.

Right, yes, it sure is a great name. What made you want to participate in this carnival?

I dunno, I like scarin’ people I guess, and the benefits are good. It’s a cool gig. Before this thing started, I was just spookin’ people in their homes. That was cool, but it got boring after some years. In this day n’ age, people don’t get scared like they used to—too many movies out there, gets people excited to see ghosts. That’s pretty rubbish. But whatever, it’s cool, this place is nice.

So you work in the haunted houses I hear, do you do anything else besides that?

Nah, I like the haunted houses. They remind me of my old job, the home job I just mentioned, y’know. Except it’s more entertaining and there are more people to scare. I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.

I’m sure your ringleader is glad to hear that. Is this something you see yourself doing for a long time?

Well, y’know, I got all the time in the world, being dead n’ all. I would die again if it meant I could still be here and with this family, and scarin’ people for the rest of my life. I couldn’t be happier. I really am blessed to be here Debs. I can see myself doing just this until my ectoplasm turns to dust—figure of speech, of course. This slimy ol’ bod ain’t goin’ nowhere!

Really great stuff, Samuel. We are running out of time here, though. I still have a few more of your friends—

Family.

Of course, family. I still have more of your family to get through, so we’ll have to say goodbye for now.

Sure thing. Was great talking to ya.

You too, Samual.

Our next guest is Lillian Dawn, one of the resident werewolves. Nice to meet you, Miss Dawn.

Please, call me Lillian. It’s nice to meet you too. It’s great to be in the presence of another strong female.

Why thank you. Now tell me, what has all this been like for you?

It’s been… interesting. As you probably know, most werewolves are seen as male. So, sometimes it can be difficult for me. But if anyone ever steps on my tail, it’s dinner time, baby. I don’t mind cracking open a few sexist skulls here and there. Even if the vamp disapproves—he’s pretty old school. I do enjoy frightening people, though. My big trick is convincing the guests that I’m this lost and scared damsel in distress, and when they think they’re helping me, I turn into my beautiful self. It’s hilarious watching their eyes bulge and legs shake. I love it!

I didn’t know that sort of issue came up with creatures like yourself. That’s unfortunate, but I’m glad you’ve learned how to deal with it. What made you want to join the gang?

To be honest, I was iffy at first. William found me wandering around a forest by myself. I was in full wolf mode, too. I had just found out my parents had been killed by hunters. I was afraid… I guess that’s why I try so hard to prove myself now because I don’t want to be that scared werewolf anymore. Anyway, he explained what he was planning and eventually convinced me to join him and his friends. There wasn’t a lot of them when I joined, but it quickly became something huge. And here we are! As much as he gets on my nerves, I’m grateful for what William did for me—I’m grateful for all of them.

Wonderful, Lillian. I’m sorry about your parents. It also seems like we are running out of time faster than I anticipated. I suppose I put too many people on the roster today.

That’s all right, Debra. It was very nice chatting with you.

Oh yes, you as well!

Last and certainly not least, our next guest is the newest member of Halloscream. Allow me to welcome Molly Thatcher to the show!

Thank you, it’s good to be here.

I’m quite excited to meet you, Molly. I heard that you’ve only been part of the team for about three years, is that right?

Yeah, it’s been like three or four, something like that. I honestly haven’t been keeping track, especially after I was turned.

Right, and how was that? Was this something you were seeking out?

Absolutely not. I was only sixteen when I showed up at the carnival. I grew up loving Halloween and all things scary, so when I heard about the event I was really excited to check it out. The next thing I know I’m watching two young boys being hurt for entertainment. It was horrifying. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. Eventually, I let them have me. I joined the carnival. And as soon as I turned eighteen I became one of them. It was the hardest choice I ever had to make, but looking back I’m glad I did it. Even if I did say yes just to protect the people I love, I’m happy now, and I wouldn’t change anything.

Are you implying that they used your loved ones in order to convince you to join them?

Well, yes. They did do that. But I’m happy now; being a vampire is incredible!

I see, well as long as you’re happy. Is there anything you miss from your human life?

Of course. I miss a lot of things. Like, being able to eat whatever I want… I really miss french fries. And my family and friends, I miss them a lot. But I know they’re better off and doing well. I also miss my bed—William makes us sleep in old coffins for aesthetic purposes. He says we should honour our ancestors or something. But honestly, I don’t think about my old life all that much. I have a new life now, and it’s great! It’s everything I didn’t know I needed.

Understandable, there’s no winning when you live in the past. What role do you play amongst everyone else?

I don’t really have a role right now. I’m kind of still learning a few things. Sometimes I’ll be around the area, scaring kids, but I’m basically a side character. I do like scaring, though. It’s really fun.

Interesting. Would you ever recommend doing something like this?

What? No, of course not! This isn’t like, a vacation. This is our livelihood. The last thing we want is people coming to us and begging everyone to make them a monster. We’re a family, and only those who deserve to be here, are here. I was lucky to be given this life, but I would not “recommend” trying to squeeze your way into our home.

Fair enough. Last question for you before we go: after being initiated into Halloscream, has your view on horror changed at all? Do you still find certain things as scary as you used to?

That’s a good question. I do think my views have changed. Being around monsters, ghosts, and all sorts of ghouls on a day-to-day basis has desensitized me for sure. Which is a little unfortunate, because I used to love being scared of those things. But, I think now I’m afraid of other things. There’s a lot that comes along with being a monster. I’m constantly thinking about how I can protect myself from the outside world, like, I always need to make sure I’m not in my true form when I’m entertaining people, or just talking to them. Because humans aren’t really accepting of creatures like us. It’s hard. But I mean, you get used to it I guess.

Well, I appreciate all your honesty today. I’m very glad I could talk to you. Thank you for being here, Molly. I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavours.

Thank you. It was great to be here!

On that note, I want to give a special shout out to everyone who made today possible. I’m incredibly lucky to have this job because I get to meet so many wonderful people and… non-people. Thanks again to everyone who talked with me today. We really learned a lot, and I’d be happy to do it again. It was a good reminder—we shouldn’t judge people before we know them. And here’s another reminder: make sure you check out Halloscream in a town near you! Until next time, this is Debra Way, signing off.

Thanks for reading! If you’d like to read more of my work, you can find them here.

[mysticcamiluss]

Another Ending - Chapter II

Summary: Madison grieves as if she was sure someone she loved just died, but still holds some hope in her chest. She's determined to continue.

~ ~ ~

MADISON

Christmas eve… Beginning of the last week of the year… These are days to celebrate and be happy around your family and friends… but It’s been almost seven months since we last heard of Isa.

Three days after we last communicated with her, both Isaiah and me began to get worried. We attempted to call her several times but her phone number, according to the telephone operator, doesn’t even exist and I’m completely sure she'd have informed us if she was about to change her number. We also tried sending her emails but apparently the email address that she used to use doesn’t exist neither. Her Twitter and Facebook accounts has been deleted as well.

We reported the case to the Police after a week but they informed us that her NID corresponds to a man that died twelve years ago (creepy, isn’t it?). They took us as crazy people and sent us back home with a warning of not bothering them with false reports.

My brother is devastated, he won’t even talk to me or eat anything, at least not while I’m present. I miss her too but him being her twin brother… I wonder how someone would feel after losing their other half. His always puffy red eyes make me want to cry as well, but I need to stay strong for him, that’s the less thing I can do.

There’s no way we are imagining the existence of Isabella. She IS real and it’s clear that there’s something fishy going on so right now so I’m finally convinced that travelling to the Capital in order to search clues around her sudden disappearance from the world is what I must do.

Maybe someone kidnapped her? Maybe she’s not even… No. That’s not an option, MC, focus. Unless I find her corpse, that will never be an option. If we were dealing with the first case scenario, what kind of kidnapper would erase even her birth certificate from the government information system? A Hacker? Why would a hacker be after my little sister? Millions of questions like these crossed my mind for months now, but nothing makes sense. Isa wa- Isa is one of the most trustworthy and kind persons I’ve ever known. She’s naive and would help anyone she considers in need, that’s why I had always told her to be more suspicious around others because, otherwise, she’d get hurt and... now that I think about it, my warnings meant shit: something bad did happen now and I don’t have a clue on how to proceed forward.

Why would some illegal association or a hacker or whatever be related to her?

I’ve been in need to get my thoughts straight. I need to take a break. I’ve been stressing out for so long, nearly able to sleep and, if I keep going like this, I won’t live enough to discover the truth (I feel like I’m already losing hair, to be honest).

I believe that shutting up my computer and going to take a coffee will be for the best and that’s what I’m going to do.

.     .     .

Before exiting the apartment where we both, Isaiah and me, live I took a shower where I let myself relax for a bit, letting the hot water plant soft kisses on my skin while the steam made its job in opening my pores. After that, I put on some clothes and dried my hair. I waved my brother as before going, but he didn’t even look at me.

Me being so lost in my own thoughts, again, I didn’t realise I already reached the coffee store I was looking for so I enter.

“Madi! How you’re doing?” My best friend, Michael, greets me. He has been working in this café, which belongs to his mother, for almost five years and it’s always comforting hearing his voice. “How’s your research, MC? Any news around princess ?” Since we’re childhood friends, he knows my sister as well as I know her; I bet he remembers when we played together as kids: in Halloween, the twins would be the serial candy collectors from the whole neighborhood, always wearing matching costumes that melted everyone's hearts, and we were the mafia that ended up eating everything and end getting sick the following morning because of all the candy we’d get.

He has been by my side in my darkest days and helped me out whenever I needed anything: a hug, a shoulder to cry, a house where to stay and his family even lended me money when our uncle kicked my siblings and me out a couple of years ago.

I hadn’t noticed till now that tears are wetting my face and that Michael was looking me as if he was asking me if it was ok to embrace me… These are the tears I’ve been repressing, that I can’t show anyone else other than him since I can’t even try hiding my emotions around Michael, he knows me better than myself and I’m genuinely glad he does, I’m so lucky to have someone like him...

“MC?”

“Don’t worry, Michael, I’m fine. And no, I still have no clues around Isa but I’m thinking of going to the Capital soon, maybe if I check her department…”

“Then I’ll go with ya, girl.” He’s smiling now but I can notice that his really worried. He doesn’t want me to go alone to a place where someone disappeared, maybe he’s wondering if I’d have the same fate.

“I don’t know Michael… You see, It’s my si-”

“I know, but you’ll need help. ‘Two Players Mode’ is always better than ‘Single Player Mode’, we can search for clues together!” He interrupted me and finished his point and, even he’s right, I need to convince him that I can do it alone. As for the way he expressed He’s an informatics student as well, so silly jokes concerning games are natural when talking to him.

“I can take care of myself but thanks for your concern, buddy.” I fake a smile and he rolls his eyes. I can tell he’s not please with my resolution.

“Then hot chocolate or cappuccino?” As I said, he knows me well.

“cappuccino, with extra chocolate.”

“White chocolate or black chocolate?” I bet he know what I’ll answer… “Black chocolate it is.” Bingo!

“Hey… What time is it? I didn’t even bring my phone.” I notice it’s starting to get dark outside, and I don’t want to return late.

“Almost 8 p.m., we’re closing in a hour but you can stay as long as you want, honey. You can even spend the night here, you know? Tomorrow being Christmas day and that shit.” I roll my eyes. Can someone like me actually celebrate Christmas?

“I’m not in mood, Mich, but thanks for the offer anyways.” He hands me my cappuccino and I slowly drink it, enjoying the sweet flavor the chocolate adds to it. I see him flashing a little smile from the corner of my eye, probably glad I seemed to relax a bit.

I sweared, back then, that there was no way we could spend a worse Christmas.

This year I’ve proved myself wrong.

Atleast back then we could held each other.

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to the much anticipated Union Season 1 finale, featuring the diverse cast of well-developed characters we’ve all come to love, such as cheating whore #1, cheating whore #2, and my personal favorite, cheating whore #3. Also starring purple Hannibal Lecter, Melody Tinker’s sunglasses, and Leon Trotsky. Last update saw the erotic tension between resident porn-king Gunther and his brother’s intended, Regina George Brittany Upsnott finally boil over, leading to this harrowing image:

GOOD TIMES. Let’s pick up right where we left off..

.. namely precious Gunther immediately jumping into bed with Melody not two minutes after his close encounter of the Brit kind. Guns has been suspiciously loyal and un-gross ever since we moved out of the dorms, but apparently his goal for senior year is to out-worst everyone else in the house. What a comeback!

Meanwhile Brit is depressingly bowling her frustrations away under the unforgiving desert sky. Whaddup Brit, you must be dealing with some pretty complicated emotions right now.

-What?? No way, I’m totally, totally fine!

I mean sure, why wouldn’t you be, it’s not like you’ve fucked literally everything up. After spending half of college dealing with fucking HaremGate all I wanted was an uneventful senior year I could speed through, but that would be too easy now, WOULDN’T IT.

-The pins are you well-laid out plans for the future!

UGH Brit seriously, this isn’t happening. As in we’re gonna pretend it literally never happened, you’re gonna marry Daniel, Gunther is gonna marry Mel, everyone will live happily ever after and that’s the last I’m gonna hear of this bullshit.

BRIT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

-I’m just heartfarting, GAWD

Yea you’re also about to fucking serenade him in front of Mel, have you legit lost your mind??? Is this how the rest of this year will go, me chasing you around cancelling your dumbass actions?

-Probably! lolol!

-Aww Brit, if there was an award for best couple, we would definitely win it <3

-Oh please, Gunther and I have you totally beat!

-Yea right Mel, bet you §10 me and Brit are gonna move in together before you and Gunther do!

-…So how you liking that pizza, Gunther?

-…Oh it’s good, Brit, thanks for asking.

Meanwhile it looks like my restless Jojo/Wyatt reconciliation efforts have finally borne fruit! Good job, Wyatt!

-It’s no job, I’m just following mon coeur!

Nice, follow it all the way to redemption!

YASSSS. I can’t stress enough how many times Wyatt had to apologize to get us to this point, I’m talking half their awake time for 3 days. God. The whole thing has been an extremely repetitive nightmare but finally we can put it to rest. Much like we put Frances! BURN IN HELL

Finally, the universe has responded to my desperate pleas. I will even forgive the creepy ass llama because for once the cheering is completely appropriate. Reunited and it feels so good! Especially for me because if I had to press the apologize button one more time istg.

Well.. The universe giveth and the universe taketh away. Literally can’t leave these dicks unsupervised for more than a minute before they start slutting it up. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO

-Oh oh oh oh oh OH, caught in a bad romance <3

STOP SINGING INTO EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS. It’s time for drastic measures. Gunther is obviously unfamiliar with the concept of decency but maybe there’s still hope for Brittany..

..especially after Daniel gives her a high-class romantic evening! Looking great, Dan. Please stop picking your teeth.

-I’m so uncomfortable, my hair hasn’t seen the light of day since I was a toddler! I’m putting my cap back on.

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Also suppress your gag reflex + every instinct in your body because it’s time-

-to hit Londoste! OOH LA LA

-Brit, I feel like we’re.. ridiculously overdressed.

-No such thing, darling!

-I’ll be having the filet mignon and a glass of the Veronaville ‘64, thank you.

-And I’ll be having chicken nuggets and a detailed report of the working conditions in this bourgie hellhole.

-DANIEL YOU PROMISED

-Let’s raise a glass to us and our magical evening together-

-Yes, and this delicious food, stained with the tears of the working farmhand-

-Daniel, please.

-My beloved ice queen, even though the diamond engagement ring “tradition” is another completely made up, SHAMELESS CAPITALIST SCAM, I just couldn’t bear the thought of wounding your gigantic, aggressively materialistic ego.. Marry me, my darling, be my Nadezhda!

-OH baby of course I’ll marry you! Everything before this moment doesn’t count, right?

-I mean.. sure?

-Great!

Yes, what a wonderful, subtle night.

-Oh Brit, you make me the happiest worker alive, which of course is a completely paradoxical state under capitalism!

AWW MEANT TO BE <3 Finally we can put that gross, freckled chapter behind us.

THAT’S RIGHT YOU BETTER RUN

-WOOO congrats for not cheating for an entire day, Gunther!

Our greek house is currently at a pathetic level 3 and it’s not hard to see why. As if the graves of Jojo’s former flames weren’t enough to put people off, imagine walking by and seeing this.

This shit is still going on and has reached the hate-boner point where these two have permanent wants to see each other’s ghost. So much for nice points!

Also going on: this bizzare, inexplicable feud that appeared literally out of nowhere.

-SHUT UP WYATT MAGIC ISN’T REAL

-IT SO IS MAGIQUE IS ALL AROUND US

Finals are upon us! Only one semester of this fuckery left. There are of course two kinds of people, the kind pictured above..

..and my peeps.

Gunther, who hasn’t done anything college related since we were back in the dorms and Blue Meatballs et al were writing his papers, somehow still has a 4.0 gpa. Wow Gunther, what’s your secret??

-It’s no secret, I banged the half-alien professor.

Oh right lmao. You’re looking pretty down boo, what’s wrong?

-Man idk, I’m struggling with what might be like.. legit feelings for Brit.

WHAT. WELL PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM GUNTHER AND DRINK YOUR SORROWS AWAY LIKE AN ADULT. GOD

YOU TOO BRITTANY. ISTFG YOU ASSHOLES ARE NOT FUCKING THIS UP ANY FURTHER.

CAUSE HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST PERSON WHO WENT OFF SCRIPT. Looking good, Fran!

…………………………poor Brittany obviously suffered a stroke at some unspecified point in time. As if she didn’t have enough problems.

SO. CLOSE. We just have to get through this one semester without the entire charade imploding, is that too much to ask????

APPARENTLY YES. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER

-The heart wants what it wants.

What DOES it want tho, Selena, cause last time I checked you were in love with Mel you GIANT ASS

-Yea, hell if I know! Huhu!

IF I HEAR YOU PEOPLE HUHU ONE MORE TIME

In equally distressing news Mickey Dosser was passing by and I invited him in just to see if he would go straight for the bubbles, which he of course did..

..a move so irresistible that Wyatt had to stop and swoon over him literally in the middle of his millionth Jojo apology. I’ve honestly never had a sim court death as persistently as Wyatt, dude straight up WANTS TO DIE.

-HOW DARE YOU WALTZ IN HERE AND TRY TO SEDUCE MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES YOU VILE DISGUSTING SLOB

-Wut

-GET. OUT. BEFORE I STUFF YOU AND PUT YOU ON MY PORCH FOR HALLOWEEN

-Wyatt.. I sensed it was you.

-Of course, Jojό <3 I got your message, why did you send a raven, I’m just upstairs-

-SILENCE. I invited you here, to my favorite place on this entire wretched planet, the center around which revolves my very existence..

-..to ask you a very important question that I want you to CAREFULLY consider, taking into account that you’re standing next to the graves of the last people to betray me..

-Wyatt Monif, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard, which despite all my struggles and your whoring around, has overcome every rational objection, and I beg you most fervently to relieve my suffering and consent to be my husband. Also to please ignore my brother woohooing in the hot tub behind us and ruining the moment.

-MON DIEU JOJÓ, OUI, OUI A THOUSAND TIMES OUI!! <3

-Wyatt.

-Oui? <3

-Please don’t make me murder you, ok? Promise?

-Never, Jojό!

AW, what a beautiful engagement you guys, I’m tearing up.

AND FINALLY, IT’S OVER. Gunther seriously graduated summa cum laude, how in the fucking world I legit dk but whatever!

The last supper.. The Union bros have all graduated and I’m gonna speed-play the rest through their last year. Also Daniel and Melody are bffs now, I didn’t even know they were talking but nice.

Time to go back where we came from! Ah, all grown up. It seems like yesterday they were toddlers surviving on cat food.

Brit is the youngest of the bunch and has the whole house to herself after Mel and Wyatt graduate, a situation she takes advantage of by ALMOST CHEATING WITH THE FUCKING LLAMA. BRIT ISTG

Finally, it’s time for Brit to leave our gross, incestuous cocoon. We’re gonna need a placeholder for the next generation tho, so as much as it pains me to say..

..it’s Frances time. Bitch literally scares Brit as she’s trying to resurrect him, way to make me doubt my merciful decision Fran!

Ugh great. Welcome back, Frances. I really did prefer you dead.

Yea, can’t make any promises there. I don’t know what kind of wave of kindness overcame me, but I felt bad for Fran being all alone so…

-I’M BACK BITCHES

Can’t believe we wasted 20k on these assholes but whatever. Time to grow up, Brit!

Oh yea, looking good! Taking the ‘on Wednesdays we wear pink’ rule to extreme lengths.

And we’re out of here, leaving the place in the capable hands of Fran and Ti-Ning, who immediately reconnect for a hot tub celebration of life.

So normally you’d think that would be the end of it and we’d get to the heir vote, right? RIGHT?

WRONG. Please bear with me through this incredible bullshit. So I’m taking the heir vote portraits, specifically Jojo’s, and everyone else is hanging around on the edges of this empty photoshoot lot, when suddenly the fight cloud appears. At first I think it’s Wyatt/Daniel aka business as usual but then I make the horrifying discovery that it’s.. DANIEL/BRIT.

As expected, the MINUTE I looked away, Gunther/Brit went for it in plain sight, leading to the eruption of a massive shitshow. I’m like ok w/e we’re basically in pre-heir vote limbo so it doesn’t count, I’ll just quit without saving. But THEN I take a look at Daniel’s panel.. AND SEE THIS:

I’ve literally no idea WTF HAPPENED, HOW IT HAPPENED, WHY, WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE but the fact is that right after catching Gunther/Brit cheating, Melody and Daniel somehow got together even though they have never given any indication of being into each other and have one sole pathetic bolt. My best guess is 4-nice-points Melody went for it as a revenge but seriously WHAT THE FUCK

GOOD TIMES. At this point I’m obviously even more like ‘I’M GONNA QUIT WITHOUT SAVING’ so I’m just taking these pics for shits and giggles, but THEN I look at Gunther’s panel… and see probably the most disturbing want I’ve ever come across:

OK THEN. Reminder that Gunther’s secondary is PLEASURE so there’s literally no explanation for this shit except for legit. true love. As much planning as I did for these couples I’m like who am I to refuse A ROMANCE SIM’S engagement want???? I mean I also planned for Jojo to marry Frances and we all saw how that went. So I decide to save the game, even though it’s kinda unorthodox since it didn’t happen during actual gameplay but w/e, you just can’t ignore shit like that!!

So I revisit the lot the next day and am faced with a shitshow of cosmic proportions. The whole thing is like a bizzaro parallel universe, I mean you have Brit and Dan legit looking like they crossed over from the set of NLL..

..Gunther and Mel heartfarting over each other while also wanting to beat each other up..

..this torrid affair out in the open..

..AND WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS. I changed their turn-ons and now they have 3 bolts cause it felt like they really got the short end of the stick but I still can’t get over this bullshit happening in the first place. At least Jojo and Wyatt are having a good time! I guess at this point there’s only one thing left to do..

..simultaneous break ups! The couple that dumps their fiances together stays together.

Moving on to simultaneous crying/sighs of relief. If it seems like I’m halfassing this by not writing any dialogue it’s because I am, but I legit can’t, the whole situation is just too absurd to dramatize.

And now to complete the wife-swap..

Incredible. Now, hold on to your seats, everyone.. because the red ring memory..

IS NOT GUNTHER’S. WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL. BRIT GOT A RED RING FROM HER ROMANCE SECONDARY BUT SOMEHOW GUNTHER DIDN’T??? Honestly I’m hardly a romantic but. TRUE LOVE. Or a glitch. Let’s go with true love.

And there you have it. The end of generation 1, which will live in the annals of history as the one where literally no one ended up with the person I had in mind for them and I might as well haven’t been there for all the control I had over these assholes.

NOW. TIME TO VOTE.

WHO WILL IT BE????

Head over to my lj for a handy guide to voting + the link to the poll. Thank you all for reading! <3

[pumpkinspicelexatte]

*puts on scientist goggles* EVERY QUESTION

           Random and personal questions  Redacted abusers from history     

1. Name:Amy Brianna Rose Meadows

2. Birthplace:Worksop

3. Ancestry: I have zero idea but apparently i have some irish family lol is all i know

4. Zodiac Sign: Gemini

5. Biggest fear:Tied between getting older and people I love abandoning me

6. Strength/Weakness: Loyalty/Stubbornness

7. Worst habit:Eating salt packets whole?

8. Favorite holiday: Halloween I guess?

9. Ever been in a car crash: Nope

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: So many times

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: Check tumblr lol

12. Age at first kiss:25

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: I wanna say 11 ish?

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long:

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be happier

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sending my girlfriend a birthday message and listening to the new paramore album

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: today with @janes-nature-garden “I guess you just have internalized drumphobia”

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: @allisbornagain

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: yesterday as in thursday i guess, either @allisbornagain is so cute or why are there chickens

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: I guess the cinerma with my first ever girlfriend grace when i was like 13 lol

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen:I have never

22. Who did you see in concert first:Thursday when they opened for MCR

23. Who was your favorite teacher:Jemma my college biology twacher

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: @allisbornagain or @janes-nature-garden

25. Who do you think about most: @adorablyamy or @allisbornagain or @janes-nature-garden

26. Is your ideal occupation?  If i didn’t suck at it a writer of some kind

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? I guess wine

28. Favourite restaurant? Firezza in soho is amazing but i’ve been to so many good places recently

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Dairy free soy vanilla

30. McDonlads or Burger King? Burger king

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? Alexa bliss, Poppy, Lana del rey, Hayley williams

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? lots of time, Probably the night me and jane did karaoke

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? probably karaoke with Jane lol

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? I have no idea

35. How many pets do you have? Does a vulpix count? :p

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? A house so i could live with my girlfriends

37. When was the first time you smoked? Technically age 2 or 3 lol

38. Who last sent you a text? Jane

39. Who did you last send a text to? Jane

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? Sattelite internet, water purifier, phone , solar charger

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? @allisbornagain @janes-nature-garden @truetrashsoulrebel

42. Favorite song? Right now it’s idle worship by paramore

43. Favorite movie? The disappearance of haruhi suzumiya

44. When did you last cuddle someone? today

45. When did you last have sex? I guess technically wednesday although weird feels lol

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? Internet stuff for money lol

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? That i’ll never be able to be a girl

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? I have no idea

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? I guess there’s one online one where i still love them a whole lot and i just can’t get past it

50. Where would you take a road trip? I have no idea

51. How do Mondays feel for you? alright

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? i dont know

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? self loathing mostly lol

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? Escaping an awful abuser?

55. What scares you about your future? Money and fascism

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? Because delivery bags are square?

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? no idea

58. How does it feel to be photographed? nice sometimes

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? A certain night in november

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? Nope bpd is hell

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? I’m kinda bad at just trying to please others

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? Something useful and good like volunteer

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? Actually feeling like i have a chance to live

64. Do you have same sex gender fantasies? Always

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? Not quite but there was a bus station with em

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? lol yep

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 27

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 21

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? as a polyam i can choose both right? :p

70. How tall are you?    6′3 ish

71. How much do you weigh? I have no idea, I avoid because ed related reasons   

72. What color is your hair naturally?     dark blonde/ light brown?

73. What size jeans do you wear?    16?

74. What is your favorite color to wear?  pink or black  

75. Do you have any piercings?     nope

76. Do you have any tattoos?    nope

77. Do you care how other people see you?    very yes

78. Do you like sports?    eh not really, thanks to certain podcast hosts i have a slight interest in mma lol

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships?    mostly fine as long as everyone is over 18 although huge age differences particularly way older men scream creepy power dynamic

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships?    why would that be an issue????

81. Do you believe in karma or fate?    very yes

82. Do you keep a journal?    nope

83. Describe the last dream you remember:   making out with a tumblr follower, although one i interact more with on twitter lol

84. Describe your favorite dream:    

85. Where are some places you would like to visit?    Arctic to see aurora, Japan with em tbh

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend?    not really

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy?    paramore, lana , poppy

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad?    paramore , lana, poppy, melanie martinez

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense?    not really

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?    wine

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages?    prosecco is good atm lol

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? only when jane gives me them :p i have before

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there?    All my friends are good, but i guess Jane has a best friend feel?

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?   nope

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? a few

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? seems dangerous :p I’d fall in the shower lol

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex gender?I have only

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you?ew

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you?no cause thats all i’ve done , well mostly , i’ve dated some nb people

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? Amazing

101. How often do you brush your teeth?Daily, thanks exec dysfunction

102. How often do you shower?  When was the last time you had a shower? most days , today

103. How often do you shave your legs?weekly?

104. Political affiliation? not sure

105. Opinion on abortion? let people do what they want /need with their bodies

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? immigrants are in no way a bad thing

107. Should prostitution be legalized? very yes

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? if i could choose? like 19

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Capitalism?

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? make men not in charge

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Something involving looking after pets?

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yes

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? italy seems nice i guess?

114. Why are you the person you are? Abuse and trauma?

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Kinda although im super needy

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? they don’t really,

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? do my comfort things in public, be visibly trans

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? not really

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? she laughs at the tube station euston cause of euston we have a problem

120. Want someone back in your life? Not anyone who would be good

121. What are you excited for? My chewable necklace thing

122. Are you scared to fall in love? not any more thanks to @allisbornagain

123. When is your next road trip? never?

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? message em?

125. Do you like to cuddle? very yes

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? I’ve kissed two people within five seconds of each other

127. Plans for tomorrow? Rest i’ve been told

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? can’t care too much so just enough

129. How is life going for you right now? okay to good in different aspects

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? sure

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? probably @catnip-brownies :p

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? yep

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? shapeshifiting seems fun

134. Background on your cell phone? Me jane and em

135. What are you thinking about right this second? Girlfriends

136. Last book you read? How was it? The sigh of haruhi suzumiya  pretty good

137. What is the last thing you bought? food

138. Do you live with your parents? nope

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? nah my parents never cared

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? nope

141. What are you like when you’re drunk? fun and loud

142. What are you like when you’re high? emotional

143. Do you want children? idk

144. Do you want a church wedding? idk

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

147. Who was your first real crush? Lauren styles a blonde girl who moved to where i lived from croydon,

148. What are you allergic to? some antiallergy meds

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Meadow Meadows

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? girl prolly

151. How did you get your name? i chose it , inspired by someone who saved me

152. Name one thing about your body you love? My butt is pretty nice

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and help people I care about be happy

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? is hate a feeling?

155. Do you think aliens are real? yeah

156. What age did you start drinking? I guess 14 on a school trip to italy?

157. What do you think of President Obama? I don’t know enough about politics nevermind american ones

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yep , nearing 6 months and 5.5 months with my gfs :)

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? furryish cute, weird, gay

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? Weiss schnee right now

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 1274 , 215 ish , 50

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? hahahahahhahahahahhahahah no

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person?

171. Do you talk to yourself? Always, in the third person referring to myself as aimz , amyface, amykins or aimster lol

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26 ew

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? On tumblr

174. Do you have any hickies?i have never

175. Turn ons? girls

176. Turn offs? boys

179. How many siblings do you have?  one sister

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? ew yes