#me: oh you think gimli's gay? interesting

[galadrielspeaks]

ooh for the askgame, arwen and also legolas =)

OOOO Arwen!!! :D

Sexuality Headcanon: She may be married to the most heterosexual man in the world but i am a firm believer that Arwen has kissed a girl before! I think she’s bisexual :)

Gender Headcanon: I think she’s firmly comfortable in labelling herself as a woman!

A ship I have with said character: Ofc her and Aragorn <3

A BROTP I have with said character: HER AND BILBO. I REALLY believe that her and bilbo got along very very well while he stayed there and that she considers him a good friend :) Arwen and Bilbo supremacy!!!!!

A NOTP I have with said character: I think I’ve seen her and Glorfindel being shipped before?? that was a bit strange but i cant think of anything else so yeah that ship probably

A random headcanon: I headcanon she gets migranes! Just makes sense to me :) Although elves don’t really suffer human conditions her human side gets the better of her in this regard!

General Opinion over said character: I love her a lot, I definitely wish there was more content of her Not as Aragorn’s wife if that makes any sense. Like I wish her identity outside of loving Aragorn was explored more!

LEGOLAS!!!!! 🤍⭐️🌿🏹🧚🌿⭐️🤍

Sexuality Headcanon: Gay. But a victim of comp-het! Just like Gimli I think it took Legolas a while to figure out the reason he wasn’t interested in anybody around him was because he hadn’t met the right dwarf yet :) Basically what I mean is that him discovering his feelings towards Gimli definitely led to him having a sexuality crisis.

Gender Headcanon: Once again I think elves are outside the gender binary but Legolas fully embraces this. I think he’s non-binary. Like he’s okay with the role as Prince and such but I headcanon that in formal attire and things of that sort it is almost impossible to tell what gender he is. Legolas doesn’t care what gender people see him as and doesn’t bother defining himself by anything either :)

A ship I have with said character: OBV GIMLI. him and Gimli are the blueprint ‘enemies’ to friends to lovers. nobody does it like they do it 🔥

A BROTP I have with said character: Obviously Gimli!!! I do believe they are best friends. But besides that of course him and Aragorn, I think besides Gimli Aragorn is the closest thing to a best friend he has! Also this is totally a headcanon but I think after the war of the ring he and Frodo got along pretty well in a very sort of casual sense. Also him and Arwen are casual friends as well :) espc after the war of the ring!

A NOTP I have with said character: As we all know from that one post of mine: LEGOLAS X ARAGORN. i am so sorry i know it’s a really popular ship but listen okay we are all much older now, we know better. the elf is fucking the dwarf. aragorn is the straightest man this world has ever seen.

A random headcanon: Oh god I have SO MANY… I headcanon that despite refusing to be a tragic character Legolas is a little bit of a sadder person. If this makes ANY SENSE FKFJJS. Like he’s totally that one friend who is super positive and funny and lightens up everybody’s mood but when you find out their backstory you’re like DAMN. HOW ARE YOU HAPPY?! Also I headcanon that the reason Legolas is so silly is because he is a raised by a village sort of child! His community helped raise him :D and they definitely supported and encouraged his more silly antics! Especially after his mothers death, I could go on for a while about this but I’ll stop here FKFJDJ there’s soooo much I could say about that.

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE LEGOLAS. Love him, I really do. As someone who will crack a joke no matter what situation i’m in, his silliness enduring in the face of evil is so relatable!!!

[introspectivememories]

i read lord of the rings meta like it’s the daily newspaper

[windandwater]

was tagged by @hurricaneoflies whose new url is going to throw me off for the rest of my life, we are both fellow ancient ones from the olden times when you had to pay to change a username and it’s even weirder when one of us does it. yeesh. (fully understand though! and it’s good one!) (although between this and @lies it’s starting to feel like all my tumblr friends are full of lies. who even are you people.)

Instructions are to tag people you want to get to know better or catch up with. I never follow rules. However I did end up I tagging a few people in this post while talking about my answers and they’re welcome to do this if they want, otherwise, as always, do this if you feel like it.

I’m not cutting this because I’m in a particularly rebellious mood idk.

Favorite color: a fact about me is that I don’t like picking favorites of pretty much anything even though I’m pretty solidly in the blue camp for color--still, I’ll go with what I’m into right now, which is that I’m kind of digging bright orange & yellow flowers for summer. I just got some for my main room and I love the way they brighten everything up and just feel kind of glowy.

Currently reading: Oh boy. I just finished a string of books and I’m at a loose end. So here’s some recs: Peter Darling, by Austin Chang, a trans & gay Peter Pan remix, The True Queen, by Zen Cho, a gay followup to Sorcerer to the Crown which has POC main characters and is very good (the plots are exciting and unpredictable in a very refreshing way), Ash by Malinda Lo (bisexual Cinderella), and then I reread the Tiffany Aching Discworld series which I loved even more this time--I was thinking last night that in the Witches books he drew the world of the Witches, and in the Tiffany books he made it sing.

Last song: Rod Stewart - Rhythm of my Heart. Make fun of me all you want but while walking home last light night from visiting @truncated-symphony, it was a nice listen in the dark. (Never will I roam / For I know my place is home / Where the ocean meets the sky, I’ll be sailin’)

Last movie: I haven’t been able to focus on many movies since the pandemic started so I think the last time I watched a movie was spontaneously watching Winter Soldier again with @brightontheoutside because she was talking about it as she watched and I was like fuck I love that movie I’m watching it with you. I know it’s a boring answer but I really really haven’t been able to watch a movie in any real way for over a year. Also it was so nice to watch it with her even digitally and without seeing her face or hearing her voice. I miss my frieeeeends.

Last series: I think this means TV? It’s been even longer since I’ve been able to watch TV, since before the pandemic. Somewhere along the way my attention span for it just snapped in half. I’ve really just been watching youtube. So! I’ve been watching a playthrough of Resident Evil: Village which is wild if you know me, I hate the horror genre, but for some reason this doesn’t apply to games? Especially when men play them? I like male fear. And when people are making sarcastic jokes while bad shit happens. I also have a soft spot for fantasy horor. So it’s extremely fucked up but I get why y’all are gay for the tall vampire lady. mad respect.

Sweet, spicy, or flavory: uh, all of the above. I have a hell of a sweet tooth but I wouldn’t say no to any of those. Spicy food has to be flavorful though and not just pure pain.

Tea or coffee: Do these surveys ever come up with more interesting questions? As usual: I don’t drink coffee, so yes, this is the only time I’ll pick. I drink herbal teas because I can’t have caffeine, it fucks with my anxiety and the anxiety drugs I’m on. I prefer fruity teas & hibiscus but I’ll try just about anything.

Currently working on: I’ll answer this like Jess did! Professionally, I am working on making some ebooks that I can’t tell you about because it would reveal exactly where I work but they’re both going to be beautiful when they’re done. I really wish I could say because I would love to tell people to buy at least one of them, I cried really hard while making it (because it’s so complicated, design-wise, I ended up basically reading it) for multiple reasons. If that makes you curious and you know me in real life, feel free to message me and ask--I just don’t want to say publicly!!

Personally, for fandom/the internet I am STILL working on my beast of a Legolas/Gimli fic. I had wind under my sails when I was still reading LotR (part of the reason I dragged my feet reading it was so I could keep writing) but when I finished I got a little stuck. I’m at the part where they’re reunited with Merry & Pippin and I’m working on Gimli’s POV of that scene but I haven’t cracked how I’m going to approach it. I need to think on a bit and I just haven’t yet.

For my real life, I’m also working on a long-term project (that wasn’t meant to be long-term! argh!) of removing the stain and re-staining a table that I’ve had since I was a kid. It was stained white because I wanted white furniture in my pink room but I’m A Grownup Now and the table was all dinged and dented and needs to be a new, less dingy color, that brings out the wood grain better. (White stain does not look good--if you want white, use paint. imo.) Also going to put a polyurethane protective coat on there so it doesn’t dent so bad in the future, the wood seems to be very soft and this table is definitely a working table that holds my internet router among other things. I finally got all or most of the stain off (after probably 2 years, I refuse to look up how long it actually took) (removing stain is REALLY hard) and I’m moving on to finer grain sandpaper at last. I’m both terrified and excited to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and get to actually stain this thing--part of me definitely wants to be like “well there’s a spot of white stain here in the crevice of this joint no one will see better get it out and take another week” just to avoid making any permanent changes I can’t undo.

[thatgirlonstage]

woozapooza replied to your post “Sorry for the impromptu rant go on and scroll past now but I was...”

your point about the potential for increased racial and sexual diversity reminds me of my problem with the random female elf they made up for the Hobbit movies

like I guess it’s nice to have some token female representation but you know what would have been a lot nicer? making ONE hobbit movie and being faithful to the book

and then spending the time and money that went into movies 2 and 3 on adapting an epic fantasy book that’s actually about women

rather than trying to pander by sticking 1 woman into an overblown adaptation of an extremely male book

Oh yes definitely, The Hobbit is a prime example of what I’m talking about (it also has about ten dozen other issues but let’s focus in on Tauriel for now) (the fact that I had to look up her name should tell you something). Fair warning that I’m gonna rag on Tauriel pretty hard so, uh, if you like the Hobbit movies and you like her you might wanna go ahead and skip this post. Under the cut cause it got long

You know what would have been a way better option, if they wanted to update the novel by including female representation? Make one or several of the dwarfs female. Honestly, given their androgynous nature, the fact that Gimli specifically says most non-dwarfs have trouble telling the genders apart, and the somewhat confused and fluid talk about which dwarves are female in Middle Earth anyway, it wouldn’t be at all hard to include - and it doesn’t need to change the movie at all.

As it is, we got a shoehorned love interest who didn’t exist in the books, and as such could not majorly affect the plot - depriving her of any real agency or importance and instead making her a hollow stereotype of a “strong woman”, and even worse we had to watch that stupid trope of “strong woman whose barriers are broken down by an unconventional yet attractive man”. And then she just cried over Kili’s corpse at the end and must have wandered off to the Undying Lands shortly thereafter, giving her an overdone and pointless storyline that went nowhere.

But honestly, I don’t even need any women in the film. It’s not like it’s a new story someone decided to put together and just not include women. This is an extant story that is, for good reason, well-loved, and I would have been fine seeing a good adaptation of the book, flaws and all. And like you said-- it would have been money much better spent if they put the budget of the latter two films into instead adapting Graceling, or Sabriel, or The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, or any other fantasy novel with a female protagonist. Or hell, even just something like Cinda Williams Chima’s works, which have mainly male protagonists but a ton of cool female characters in them.

To make a brief comparison -- I think it’s cool to have, say, a Shakespeare play where certain characters are changed to be women, and those can be incredible performances, but ultimately I’m also perfectly happy to watch a performance where everyone is playing their original gender. It’s not the same, in my mind, as certain things you really have to change, like cutting out pointless racial and antisemitic slurs. Lysander does not need to call Hermia an “Ethiope”; skipping straight to the line “Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! vile thing, let loose” tells us everything we need to know without causing unnecessary pain to anyone in the audience.

Those are the sort of changes you need to make when adapting a work: taking out casual racism/misogyny/homophobia/ableism/etc that do nothing to change the story. Adding in characters or severely changing the story to include more representation is the sort of thing that can be really good and really cool, but you don’t have to do it for the audience to still enjoy the story. If you do, you risk a Tauriel-like situation where what was probably, at some point, well-intentioned representation instead ends up an aimless and annoying distraction that detracts from the story rather than adds to it.

Again, that doesn’t mean “never adapt a work and add diversity”. Sometimes it works out great. Look at the RSC’s Richard II where they gave him and Aumerle an explicitly gay relationship - in my opinion, that’s a great performance and made a lot of sense, even if it did change the story. But also, we’re always going to get more mileage out of stories that were written for diverse people, ideally by diverse people. Why not make space for those?

[lumateranlibrarian]

I was tagged by @penthesilea1623 to fill out this ask meme. It was fun, thank you!! I tag anyone else who’s interested - if someone wants to run with it, please do!

1. How many works in progress do you have?

Hmm. There’s only one at the moment that’s deep in the works... there are probably five or six ideas I’d like to expand on into actual stories, but there’s just the one I’m actively writing on. Here’s a bit:

In the space between blinks, when her eyes were still closed, it was too easy to imagine the Dasher leaning forward in the chair where Alexius had been sitting.

She ducked and dodged around the thought like an Antivan avoiding questions about tax evasion.

Eh. It’s a work in progress. A WIP, one might say.

2. Do you/would you write fan fiction?

Bruh. That’s all I write these days. I used to be really into original fic, and when I was in high school I actually wrote something that was novel-length. I’ve always had a thing for re-imagined fairytales. OUaT started off strong, but I fell off the wagon around season 3 or so.

3. Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

Paperrrrrrrrr. But I don’t read that much these days because of my courseload. When I do buy books, I always plan ahead as much as I can so I know I’m getting something I’ll keep and add to my personal library (which makes it sound much more legit than like the single shelf’s worth of books I carried to grad school with me). I’m working my way through Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett right now, and I love it. 

4. When did you start writing?

Uhhhh. Gosh. First full story was around 12 or 13.

Oh that brings back memories. Ahhhhh, nostalgia :) I was so proud of it. I bet I still have the notebook somewhere.

5. Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

I rarely share works that are in-progress, but I bounce ideas off a lot of people depending on the fandom. Recently, it’s been @penthesilea1623 for Dragon Age stuff, @vaderslocker for The Adventure Zone, and it’s been a while but @godihatethisfreakingcat and I have shared some seriously intense story ideas and headcanons for the Hobbit. We went all-out once on this idea that Fili and Kili (F!Kili) survived Erebor, and Kilis went to reclaim Moria with Ori, and they both died and Gimli found them protecting Balin’s tomb... lol that was super angsty but it was fantastic, I’m so hyped just thinking about it.

6. Where is your favorite place to write?

Home. Curled up on my couch. There is tea on the endtable and on the TV the soundtrack to Skyrim is softly playing. The windows are cracked open, through which the gentle sound of wind and rustling leaves rises and falls.

7. Favorite book as a child?

HHHHHHHHHH I LOVED THEM ALL.

But I seriously adore The Lumatere Chronicles by Melina Marchetta. I didn’t read them until high school, which is a good thing because they address some intense topics like cultural diaspora, rape, genocide. I’d honestly advise people don’t read them until they hit sixteen or seventeen years old. But the overall message is the idea that horrible things happen and they can be overcome with love and support and family.

That being said, I (admittedly, a straight person) thought it had some decent representation of gay characters, especially in the second and third books. The breadth of personalities of the female characters was amazing. It talks about the importance of watching what you say, not passing on harmful ideas by saying thoughtless things to children... heck, the first book literally begins with a story about what happens when people stand by and say nothing. It hits close to home, especially these days.

8. Writing for fun or publication?

Fun, for now. But I’m not averse to going back to original fiction one day, and maybe shooting for a published story.

9. Have you taken any writing classes?

Yup. One, in undergrad. I was still knee-deep in Twisted Fairy Tale Town. My final projects for the class were a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood in a nuclear wasteland, and another one about a hermit who accidentally adopts a runaway princess.

10. What inspired you to write?

I loved reading, ever since I was old enough to (I am not joking. When I was a kid, my mom make me get those book fair order forms from the higher grades because I burned through the Junie B Jones in like a week, I was a tiny menace ok). Eventually, writing became a mix of creative outlet and a way for me to cope with stress. There’s something therapeutic about having your characters react like real people who get angry and don’t always say the right thing. It’s this weird mix of writing being an environment where you have total control as the author, but also exploring through your characters how to deal with a lack of control.

#thisiswhylumadoesn’twritemeta

[parallel-lineage]

Tags I’ve collected from the post two weeks somehow

Tagged by @epicfallenismine for all of these!!

rules: answer the eleven questions given to you and then make up eleven more for the people you tag. 

1. If you could wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?

So like those outfits you put on dead people for funerals?? Oh shit that got dark, I’m not okay. I apologize. I wouldn’t mind wearing a cute dress, really comfortable leggings, and boots that come up to my knees. Don’t forget the jacket/sweater-

2. Can you pick up objects using only your feet?

Sometimes

3. Favourite youtuber or youtube video?

Right now, I really like CDawgVA but like. If I had a favorite Youtube video that I watched all the time, does HEAVENS performance of Immortal Inferno from Legend Star count???

4. Would you rather be a mermaid or a fairy?

I always wanted to be both, but I’d rather be a mermaid. I love the water, almost like HAru, but not as much. If it were up to me, I could lay under water all day and not drown. SInce I’m human, I can not do that.

5. Name a movie/book/etc that you did not expect to like but managed to surprise you. Why?

Diabolik Lovers..... You really don’t want to know why tbh. 

6. Sweet or savoury?

Sweet, I crave sweet things like a bat outta hell.

7. If you had to dye your hair any colour, which and why?

Ummmm.. Maybe like purplish that fades into a turquoise color?? For like two years now I’ve been wanting to dye my hair like this but it’d be too much of a hassle.

8. If you had one opportunity to teleport wherever you want, where and why?

Straight to the universe of my wife, Luci. Where she resides in England waiting for me-

9. Is there something you started saying ironically but now can’t stop saying? If so, what? If not, what is something that you annoys you when people say it a lot?

I have a lot of stuff like that. I say “ii” to quote Eiichi. I say “what the mcfrick” and “what the heckie” and im at a loss. I also do stuff I started doing ironically and now its just kinda stuck??? And people wonder why I hate myself :’)

10. Favourite hobby?

B A N D

11. Llamas in hats or seals in bowties?

Why not both?

My Questions:

Would you rather be locked in a shark tank, or walk into a wolf den?

Is school a safe zone for you? Why? If not, is the internet your safe zone?

What’s your favorite fast food (this is my american side im sorry)?

Why do you like what you’re currently obsessing over and what is that obsession?

Do you have a crush on anybody irl, online, or perhaps a celebrity or fictional character?

Unicorn or Phoenix?

Gay Rainbows or Blue Flames?

Describe your aesthetic in the worst way possible.

Favorite type(s) of music?

Any interesting facts???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

name: nicknames:  Jamie’s my name, no nicknames here folks, but really if you want a nickname... Idk just call me James like Nadie does. zodiac sign: Taurus (cause im a piece of shit) height: 5 feet exactly-ish (i’m a little over but not enough to add an inch :’) ) orientation: Ummmm, i want to say bisexual but like... girls are good nationality: aND IM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN- (im not i fucking hate america) favourite fruit: apples, watermelon, and bananas. favourite season: Winter!!! Cause all of the bugs I don’t like are mostly dead :) favourite book: Lockwood and Co. The Water Fire Saga. Lord of the Rigs. The Hobbit. How To Kill a Mockingbird. The Great Gatsby. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. The Magic Treehouse. The Hunger Games. MAXIMUM RIDE (Im thinking manga doesnt count soo...) favourite colour: Turquoise and Teal (now people know why im biased towards Azusa Mukami) favourite animal: UMMMMM DOGS AND CATS AND HORSES ???? coffee | tea | hot cocoa: Coffee and Hot Cocoa. The other really isnt my cup of tea. (Anyone see what i did there?) average hours of sleep:  With marching band 4-6, and normally 6-8ish. cat or dog person: both favourite fictional characters: HAJIME MUTSUKI- (im done here, actually i lied im not this is a very long list save me, imma just put my faves from the shit ive obsessed over through the years) ALL OF HEAVENS, Tomochika Shibuya, and Reiji Kotobuki (UtaPri), Eowyn, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, and Pippin (LOTR), Kazuna Masunaga (B-Pro), Bumblebee (Transformers), Cinderella, Lucy Carlyle and Quill Kipps (Lockwood and Co.), Jorge (Halo Reach), Rapunzel, Barbie, Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars), Bilbo Baggins, Tauriel, Thranduil, Bard, Thorin, Fili, and Kili (The Hobbit), All of TsukiPro at this point in time and that’s pretty much... Most of them. number of blankets you sleep with: 7+ it depends on the night blog created: July 2015 number of followers: 600+ (most are probably porn blogs i just havent blocked yet cause im lazy af and i really dont care) random fact: ummm, I have glasses and I feel like theyve slowly absorbed into my personality and people freak out when I take them off?? Its like Im slowly becoming an Anime character-

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dont worry, Im not tagging anyone~

OR SO YOU THOUGHT

@tooobsessedwith-quartetnight @melanie-ko @semie78 @polarbearsamurai @mikaze-san

[toomanyfeelings5]

39 for Fred and Max! Also 25 for Dot and Billie if you need more

thanks so much for sending this! i’m gonna do both, but one at a time. the dot/billie one will come tomorrow!!! :)

39. fred/max long distance relationship au also i just realized their ship name could be fax lmaoooooo

max’s phone alarm chirps cheerily at 4:30am, and yeah, he’s tired and groggy as he shuts the sound off, but as he wakes up more, his heart skips a beat.

it’s almost been a year. it’s quiet in his single dorm, and soft light filters through the blinds. max had never thought he’d love this time so much.

he reaches for his laptop charging on the floor, and he opens up Skype, and a few minutes later, there’s fred, beaming at him through the screen. 

“hi,” fred says, eyes crinkling. his voice is tinny through the laptop speakers, but max can still hear the excitement, too. 

“hey yourself,” max answers, running a hand through his messy hair. 

“how’s med school?”

“oh,” max yawns. “the usual. got an exam coming up next week, loads of reading and applying to programs and everything else to do.”

fred frowns slightly. “but you still like it, right?”

max smiles. “yeah. yeah, like, it’s stressful, and i keep thinking about all of the scholarships i gotta maintain to keep doing this, but–i dunno, i just really want to help sick kids.”

“you’re gonna be the best pediatrician, babe.” 

max feels himself blushing, which is stupid–they’ve been boyfriends for three years and two months now–but he does it anyway. “you’re gonna be the best film director, babe.”

“thanks.” fred doesn’t brag or make a joke about it like he used to. instead, he smiles a small and private smile, just for him. “that means a lot, max.”

“’s what i’m here for. how’s wellington? you been to that hobbit town yet?”

“uh, of course i have! i’m sending you like, a million pics tomorrow. it was…holy shit, it was so cool. and like, you know i don’t really care about lord of the rings–”

“your middle school legolas and gimli fanfiction would say otherwise–”

“oh my god, we are not going into that right now, mr. i wrote nothing but finn and poe fic for a full year. anyway, i’m not even like, a fan of peter jackson and everything, but the hobbit holes have been great inspiration for set design. this film…i think it’s gonna be a good one. you know?”

max smiles, and hopes fred can feel his warmth through the screen. “i know. keep sending me stuff about it. i’m always ready for gay comedy fantasy adventures.”

fred laughs, full-bodied and loud. 

they talk about day-to-day things after that–nothing very interesting– “i saw this weird bird the other day,” “one of my classmates always has celery stuck in their teeth,”–and too soon, it’s time for both of them to sleep.

“g’night,” max says, and before he can stop himself he reaches out and touches the screen. god, how lame is he? 

then fred reaches his hand out too, and max lets out a hoarse laugh. 

“morning, max,” fred says softly. “love you.”

max hopes that fred can feel his smile. “love you too.”

the Skype call ends. 

max stretches, puts his laptop back on the floor, and tries not to think about all of the work he has to do, and about how he just wants to hear fred’s laugh in person, wants to hold his hand, wants to kiss him senseless, wants to write him reminders on the fridge about eating more vegetables, wants to trace his smile with his fingers–

max wipes his eyes.

he misses his best friend.

they’ve never been apart for so long. max feels fred’s absence deep in his chest.

they’ll make it. max knows this, and that certainty is deep in his chest, too. it’s nearly been a year. fred will visit at the end of the month, if all goes well.

max settles back under the covers. he breathes, and dreams about the rings he wants to buy.

[stumblingsbalderdash]

Rules: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better.

Tagged by @spikelikegwah   <3 Thank you for tagging this humble, mother of a turnip <3 

Name: Dianna

Nickname:  Stumbles <3

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Height: 4′11″

Orientation: Gay 

Ethnicity:  In-jew... I’m half native American and Jewish

Favorite fruit: Pineapples and bananas <3 

Favorite season: Autumn, Love the cool breeze-- fiery red and orange leave, warm scraves, hot teas and rider boots <3

Favorite book series:  Anne Rices’  Vampires and Mayflower Witches <3

Favorite flower:  Lavender, roses, and assorted Peonies

Favorite scent: Sandalwood and Rose

Favorite color: Black and gold

Favorite animal: Owls <3 

Coffee, tea or cocoa: Definitely hot tea <3

Average sleep hours:  I’m kinda old so 7-9 hrs :D

Cat or dog person: Dogs, my ex never cleaned her cat box...I can’t deal with the smell. </3 

Favorite fictional characters: Oh boy, this is a deep rabbithole. 

Dorian Pavus, Fenris, Cassandra Pentaghast, Tali, Bernard Black, Spock, Chris Pine’s Kirk, Bones McCoy, Capitan Sisko, Quark, Jadax Dax, GARRICK and Bashir <3 , Merry and Pippin, Gimli, Bombur, Fili and Kili <3

Number of blankets you sleep with: You’ll never find me under them all! I be a tiny bed bug. >:3

Dream trip:  At this moment, @frenchy-and-the-sea ‘s place . So we may go to Disney dressed in Lolita and eat delicious foods :D. <3

Blog created: I think early this year? Maybe, I deleted my old blog and made a new one. 

Number of followers:  53 <3 Small and perfect :D

Tagging:

@frenchy-and-the-sea , @whatthefenriis, @colonelcupquake @wtfenris @americanbeauty-americansidehoe @justhanderspositive   and anyone else interested <3

[wingsporkhalo]

A Collaborative Spork of “Why?”: a Lord of the Rings Fanfic-- Chapter 5

Wow, up to chapter 5 now. What a milestone (feels more like a millstone)!

All right, it’s time for @icykalismsts and me to get snarky again--there’s actually some pretty good zingers in here if I do say so myself. As usual, excerpt below, the rest beneath the cut, and if you missed the previous parts, look no further than here: http://wingsonghalo.tumblr.com/tagged/why-fic/chrono

Chapter 5: It’s agreed then. We’ll stay

W: Yeah, that’s pretty much what Kali and I say after every chapter of this mess. We say it while sighing in a long-suffering manner.

K: Exactly.

I got my reviews! O.M.G.! Ureshi!

W: She’s missing an i at the end, but it means “I’m happy!”

Oh, change of plans

about the "crystal's point of view" thing. I have an

alternate fic of this that is completely different except

for the triangle, and characters, that I'll post up AFTER

I've finished posting this fic.

******************************

As the girls began to near the gates, an arrow

zipped by the group's faces. Yura's eyes widened, yet

the others remained calm.

W: They were just like

~ Gomen, gomen, Yura-chan. I thought you

and that big band of yours were some trespassers. ~

' Liar! You can recognize everyone's footsteps

just by listening to them! ~

~ I know, but you were being so quiet... ~

~ Girls, you can squabble all you want AFTER

we finish our business. ~

W: They came all the way out here just to poop?

~ Hai, hai. Diamond-san, you're no fun. ~

K: But I thought diamonds were a girl’s best friend!

"I know. That's why I'm still alive after all these

years."

"But Crystal-sama is fun, and she's more alive then

you."

~ Unasi (shut up) ~

K: Isn’t it supposed to be “urusai?” Why do people keep claiming others are Nazis in this fic?!

W: Because obviously this whole thing is actually a pro-Nazi propaganda piece.

******************************

~ Crystal? ~

She glared at him. ~ I don't think that someone who

loathes Dark Elves should speak their language. ~

K: Okay, Dark Elves are a thing in Tolkien’s work, but they do not mean this. Just thought I’d point that out.

~ Demo... ~

W: Man, I wish we’d only read a demo of this fic. Instead, this fic has become a pain in the demo.

' Legolas Greenleaf, I will not tolerate your talking

back to me in my own domain. '

Legolas closed his mouth. * When was the last time

that she gave me such a cold, hating stare? *

W: Last Tuesday?

Then it hit him.

W: “I’VE BEEN HIT!” he wailed as he collapsed. “Deja vu,” said everyone else present.

Hard. * This was almost as cold as when I pinned her. For a

crime I wasn't even sure she committed. It's too late to change

the past now though. *

W: Isn’t it always?

K: I think the Defrosting Ice Queen trope came and went...

They both looked up as they heard loud bickering. The

voices of some of Crystal's closest friends since she got loose.

~ Must you be so loud? You remind me of a mansion

filled with little children. ~

W: “You callin’ me as big as a house, buster?!”

Diamond bowed. "Sorry Crystal-sama. I tried to get

them to earlier,

W: Get them to earlier? Weren’t you listening?? It’s too late to change the past!!

but I don't seem to have as much influence over

them as you do." She glared at the two girls.

Crystal laughed. "Honestly Diamond, you act just like

the mistress at a school would! Lighten up some. It's not as if

we were going to war. If we were, that would be a different

matter. As for you, Thika.

W: My Friend Thika. Or would you prefer it to be pronounced “I choose you! Thikachu!”

Did I not ask you to stop practicing

near the gates? You could hurt one of our members."

K: That’s what she said!

W: OH MY GOD

"I'm sorry."

Crystal got up, and dusted herself off. "So, who are

your friends?"

Yura coughed. The Fellowship took the hint.

Frodo gave a small bow. " I'm Frodo Baggins. These

are my friends and allies. This is Aragorn," Aragorn stepped

up and bowed. "These are Sam, Merry, Pippin, Boromir, and

Gimli."

K: Gimli defeated Gimili! Woah!

"My, what an interesting group we have here. Two Men,

four Hobbits, and a Dwarf.

W: “...walk into a bar. Then they sing a bunch of songs for some reason. One of the Hobbits disappears briefly.”

What brings you here?"

"We came to ask for our friend Legolas Greenleaf back."

W: “What are you going to give us for him?”

Crystal looked disappointed. "I was hoping that you all

would stay here for a few days. It's seldom he have company,

especially such a varied group of males."

W: She sounds like she’s talking about a dog breeding business.

The Fellowship talked amongst themselves.

"I feel uneasy about this Crystal. She seems too nice."

"We don't care where we are, as long as we have food."

"I will go where the ringbearer goes. I still feel as if it is

my duty to protect him."

"I will go where the Fellowship is, for I have no true home."

Only Legolas remained quiet. The others looked at him.

* Could there be a reason for the always-gay elf

K: The author said it! Not us! W: Oh my god. Oh my god, that is priceless.

to be saddened

by this place?

Are there memories here? No, it can't be. This place

can be no older then 100 years. *

K: But then one hundred years passed, and then it was older than one hundred years.

They all waited patiently for the

W: ...hundred years to pass...

confused elf to respond.

Legolas shook his head. "It is my duty still to see to it that

you remain safe, Frodo."

"So it is decided than.

W: Than...what?

You all shall stay for a few days, and

hopefully enjoy yourselves. But I must warn you. Nothing you see

here may be repeated to the outside world.

K: Because if the outside world knows they’re Sues, they’ll kill them all!

While you are here, you

follow our rules, and do not go where you are told not to."

W: “For the last time, I’m sorry. I thought it was a chamber pot.”

******************************

The Fellowship was awed by what they saw. The place

would shame the most beautiful of places.

W: “YA THINK YOU’RE SOMETHIN’ SPECIAL? YOU’RE JUST A BIG WATERFALL. ONLY THING YA GOOD FOR IS THROWING THINGS INTO.”

They were each

given a tour guide for the remainder of their stay. They were

also shown to their rooms.

"Breakfast is always at 7 o' clock sharp.

W: “Lunch is at 12 o’clock blunt. And blunt is at 4:20.”

Lunch and

dinner times shift around, depending on our schedule.

K: Then what determines what they’re called?

Now

that you have seen most of our city, I'm assuming you would

like some rest for now. I'll leave you to your rooms." Each

room had a beautiful view, depending on it's theme. Legolas'

was the woods; Gimli's an over-looking of mountains;

K: Gimli always was fond of ignoring mountains.

Aragorn's a raging river;

W: Oh, and I suppose he’s also the dark side of a typhoon, a coursing fire, and a great moon. Dammit, badfic, sing the song right!!

K[Aragorn]: I sure hope I don’t almost drown in this river or anything!

The Hobbits, some hills near lakes;

and Boromir's, a view of tremendous waterfalls. They all also

attached to one another, so that they could converse all at one

time in their own rooms.

K: Unfortunately this led to some terrible incidents involving voyeurism and masturbation… W: Honestly. Why didn’t they just have a Skype call if they wanted to converse at the same time. IT DIDN’T HAVE TO END LIKE THIS K: You mean "it didn't have to reach a climax like this" ;) W: LOL "THIS WASN'T WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID WE HAVE TO COME TOGETHER IN TIMES OF TROUBLE" (K: [in a tumblr chat] THAT'S INCREDIBLE... PLEASE INCLUDE IT W: I ALREADY PUT IT IN ...WHICH IS WHAT THEY WERE ALL SAYING K: We just keep getting ourselves in deeper, don’t we? ;) W: Omfg.)

As each of them unpacked, they

thought about staying here.

W: I literally yawned while reading that part, and I’m not even tired.

*~*~*~*

Like?

W:

I know this fic has been going a bit slow, but I'm trying

to add a bit more detail. I'll go over the individual rooms in the

chapters that are coming up.

W:

Ja!

K: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eghMntWNeCU

Thanks for reading and see you next time!