#meanwhile phil spends the whole time like

[dandp]

For the record (excluding the mentions during and directly after the marriage):

Number of times Dan mentioned Henry in the video unprompted: 1

Number of times Phil mentioned Henry in the video unprompted: 4

[kaiokentimesten]

The stuff with q!Wilbur and Tallulah is SO GOOD. like

q!Wilbur is a spoiled brat who expects everything to go his way. He has no issue drifting from place to place, never staying for long. And then, on this island, he finds a kid, abandoned in the adoption center. She looks just like him, and the first thing he thinks is "oh no, I can't do this". He tells her he can't take on that responsibility. But then, he does it anyway. You could argue that maybe he didn't really have a choice (the egg looks like him), but you could also argue he always did

He spends time with her while he can. He gives her a pretty name and he tries to raise her with pacifism in mind. Saying "You don't need to fight, you can just stand back and let me protect you!" when he can't even protect himself. He teaches her how to play guitar and sings her songs. "You were the person I asked for and even more."

And then he leaves. Days go by, then weeks, then months. Circumstances change, and Tallulah can't be a pacifist. qPhil raises her, teaching her how to fight and survive. He's there for Tallulah more than qWilbur could ever even hope to be, and Tallulah's attitude starts to change. For a while, she was hard on herself, feeling unloved because her only parent was gone. She felt bad that she viewed Phil as a father more, and the guilt nearly ate her alive until Phil reassured her that he considered her a daughter from the moment he started taking care of her

Then, Tallulah disappears, and the midst of chaos, Wilbur comes back. Immediately, he's taken aback, and he scolds the other parents for seemingly doing nothing. But, what has he done? At least the others were here. His fight with Phil and subsequent actions show off just how little he understands how things work on the island. He goes "well, I'm the one thinking LOGICALLY here while everyone else is just acting on EMOTION", all the while he spends the whole time throwing tantrums and starting fights. He really thinks leaving her a letter and playing a song will bring her back. Meanwhile, Phil's sent to purgatory, fighting tooth and nail to find her and bring her home

When they finally find the eggs, Tallulah's not even surprised that Wilbur isn't here. It's "papa Phil" and "Wilbur" now. She's jaded, and she has every right to be. Wilbur can make all of the promises in the world, but if he's not here, what good is his word?

Of course, from a meta perspective, I don't think this was cc!Wilbur's intention. He said he would've written more letters, but he was so busy that he couldn't. However, the story's moved on without him, and I am very eager to see how he decides to play this, because Tallulah and qWilbur's dynamic is definitely changing, and it's not for the better

[bonesandthebees]

I am loving the Qsmp PTA AU. For all of the parents, what are each of their favorite and least favorite chores?

oooo we are at peak surburban parenting with this question

quackity's least favorite chore tends to be taking tilin to appointments or extracurriculars or playdates. of course he doesn't want tilin to be locked up in the house all the time, but he's just so busy with other stuff that driving tilin around really cuts into his time and he doesn't count it as spending time with tilin either since he's just driving them places. he'd rather actually go hang out with his kid at like a movie theater or make dinner together or something, but then he has to take tilin for a checkup and that takes the whole afternoon and suddenly it's nighttime and there's just not enough hours in the day. he has a carpool set up with roier and jaiden.

mariana genuinely sucks at babysitting. charlie isn't great either, but mariana would much rather be around juanaflippa with at least one other parent around to help him out. he always loses sight of her at the worst possible moments and it gives him a heart attack every time. charlie meanwhile tells people that family dinners are a chore because that's when he has to spend the most time with his "bitch wife". this isn't exactly true he doesn't hate mariana that much but he's very dramatic about their marital problems. also the entire process of making dinner, and any meals really, for juanaflippa is a headache because of how many allergies she has. of course charlie doesn't mind this his little girl needs to eat, but damn it would be easier if he could just give her a pb & j.

spreen has the energy of a guy who would pass out trying to change a diaper. I have not watched enough of him to know if this is true but it's the vibes i get.

while foolish doesn't dislike socializing he really isn't a fan of all the social events the pta puts on that you have to go to all the time (this definitely has nothing to do with the fact that bad shows up to every single one of these. nope no way not related at all). he'd much rather stay at home sketching out more blueprints (I think he's an architect in this au) or exploring the city with leonarda. vegetta doesn't mind and happily goes to events like these on his own (it's a wonder people still think foolish is the flirt). but vegetta hates home repairs like if the sink busts or something so foolish takes care of that stuff for the family.

jaiden doesn't mind cleaning chores because those give her time to clear her head and she enjoys spending time with the kids so she doesn't mind babysitting either, but cooking is where she fails. girl has burnt water before. she's not allowed near the stove in the house so roier does most of the cooking. meanwhile roier hates doing dishes so it works out for them both.

phil can't stand things that keep him tied up at home for long periods of time. like a full day of house cleaning? nope get him out of there the man needs fresh air at least for a few hours every day. missa dislikes grocery shopping because he can never find what he's looking for or he never brings enough reusable bags or he forgets something- phil does the grocery shopping for them lmao

wilbur has a whole list of mundane chores he absolutely sucks at because he's used to living on the road and keeps forgetting the things you have to do when you're settled in one place for a while. like missa, wilbur also hates grocery shopping. but unlike missa wilbur just uses the wonders of instacart and gets a lot of their groceries delivered to the house. he also sucks at putting laundry away. he's used to keeping his clothes shoved inside a small suitcase you think he's gonna know how to hang stuff or fold it? no he does not. he makes an effort to hang up tallulah's skirts and dresses so she doesn't show up to school in wrinkled clothes, but his own outfits are a mess. at least they're clean. and he also sucks at cooking but like his solution for grocery shopping, he has a dashpass for doordash so he and tallulah eat take out at least 3 nights a week.

bad is like the 50s housewife stereotype except he's a single parent. he cooks he cleans he bakes—he does it all! except vacuuming. on god this man hates vacuuming. I have no explanation for this except I hate vacuuming and I couldn't think of anything else for him

[m4ycrowave]

Love you art, did you ever go anywhere with that sbi heroes au with Tommy becoming a villain to get their attention?

Firstly I completely forgot that asks were a thing for a while so I'm going to answer this now I am SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG thank you so much for being interested in my silly ideas

TO answer your question of.. I don't know how long ago you sent this I'm sorry, nah, I mean I had an idea that I'll put bellow but for the most part it was always just meant to be a one time thing, since in my opinion superhero AUs were used and done a lot to the point where I didn't feel my personal au added anything original enough to really turn it into something more

Also I just didn't feel like it 😭

BUT I did let my mind wander and came up w some plot ideas back then so here you go:

Phil, for some reason I never thought of, started working for the hero committee, mainly for money to support his family because while it was very dangerous it payed well, and then Techno & Wilbur when they get older noticed how overworked Phil is and how he keeps putting himself in danger and so to help out their dad they start helping him out.

Tommy always admired the hero Phil presents himself as, but he never really knew that it was his dad, nor that ANY of his family were heroes.

SBI neglected tommy (without meaning to but they still did) because they were quickly climbing up the ranks as best heroes and the committee likes money or whatevs so they kept getting more cases each more complicated than the last cuz the government was like "instead of risking our lives let's let them handle it"

Tommy is eventually told his family's secret (on his 15th birthday) and this makes him hopeful that something Will change,,, yeah no, they still have to leave but this time Tommy just takes it even worse because before he thought they either didn't like him or were actually busy, but now it's worse because it turns out his family are the TOP THREE HEROES (though if I were working on it nowadays I'd change this so they're a bit lower rank yet still on the top heroes ranks, but not top top)

they can literally get out of work if they want they're the most beloved heroes and surely they earn enough so that means they're just having so much fun being heroes that hanging out with tommy isn't worth it (this isn't really true, but Tommy's a bit of unreliable narrator in this)

Then the plan somehow forms of Tommy doing villainous acts to encounter SBI, it works the first few times because all he does is like, tag along with them as they're busy (mainly Wilbur), and SBI think he's a vigilante who's just a big fan and they entertain him.

Eventually they stop paying attention to him because they start getting scolded by the committee to stop wasting time (Phil is mainly the one who gets scolded and pulls back, he's polite in doing so but a bit cold when tommy(vigilante mode) keeps pushing, Techno didn't care for this mysterious fanboy in the first place, Wilbur is having fun but still lightly rejects Tommy's (vigilante mode) attempts at hanging out after a while)

They also stop paying attention to him when they realize that his 'villanous acts' aren't anything that crazy that some of the top heroes need to monitor him, if anything it's just like, breaking windows of abandoned places and graffiti on walls about how SBI suck and how the hero committee is trash

After SBI stop spending time w him even as a vigilante Tommy grows desperate, getting more and more reckless with his acts, and meanwhile in his real life he's avoiding his family as much as he can because the shame and disgust he feels at the fact that his family just keep on putting on a kind face when he knows they want nothing to do with him makes him want to punch a whole in a wall

Turbo & Ranboo are there (BENCHTRIO.. 😭)

With Ranboo being concerned but deciding not to get involved because it's not like Tommy's "actually putting anyone in danger" and with Tubbo just backing Tommy up in whatever crazy shit he decides to do, but also calling Tommy a dumbass when he gets himself hurt or when he actually does start endangering people

Things start to escalate as Tommy gets more and more desperate to spend time w SBI, who by that point are warming up to him (his vigilante (?) Villain (?) Self), but they keep getting told by their superiors not to engage and Tommy's just constantly chasing any sort of what he perceives as affection from his family, which is the annoyance that starts to show up on their faces when he's there but it doesn't matter because they don't /leave/, they still dismiss him, but with the mask, he can be himself without being scared that he'll scare them away, because if they get far enough away form him he can just keep causing problems and have them scold him and have a reason for them to spend time with him and notice him

So basically it's Tommy's decent into becoming genuinely self destructive and dangerous out of just wanting to be noticed and loved by his family, his heroes. And the more SBI push him away without noticing what they're doing, the worse he's getting.

And that's just the ideas I had for Tommy himself! But yeah, sorry it was so much text ;(

This is the au the person's talking about btw:

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Christmas Eve Masterlist

A Christmas Fantasy - chocolatesaucelester

Summary: Phil finds a secret diary of Dan’s, and unlike the first time he found one, this one is considerably different.

A Toast to Now (ao3) - melapplesphan

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, 2016, and Phil Lester's plane home for the holidays has been delayed due to snow. In a fit of boredom, he finds himself taking an uncharacteristic leap and striking up a conversation with "DanielH."

Meanwhile, Dan Howell can't quite believe that AmazingPhil - the same guy who ignored his messages 7 years ago - just started chatting with him on Grindr.

Baby, It's Cold Outside (ao3) - TodayWe_Are_Infinite

Summary: Dan is freezing cold on Christmas Eve, and Phil is always warm.

Best Christmas Ever - dxnhowell

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve and Dan isn’t the happiest teenager, especially after learning that he couldn’t meet his online boyfriend who he had been dating for six months, this Christmas. Dan’s parents set up a plan and they surprise him on Christmas morning.

Bottled Truths - cactuslester

Summary: All it takes is a drunken Christmas Eve in 2014 and the truth comes spilling out.

Can't Help Falling In Love - im2weirdforu

Summary: It’s christmas eve. Dan has a surprise for Phil and tells him to come to the living room. Candles are lit. Fairylights are lighting the room. Dan is sitting behind the piano and tells Phil to come over to him. When Dan begins, Phil can barely believe the words he’s hearing.

Christmas And Coffee Shops - phanficanddil

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve. Dan is late for work. Phil needs to get gifts. It’s the rush hour. Dan and Phil run into each other, and Phil saves Dan’s job at Macy’s from the grumpy old manager. They go over to Starbucks and talk about their ambitions, but Phil feels like something is missing… He forgot to get his mom a gift! Will they find the gift in time?

Christmas At The Lesters' (ao3) - internetakeover (nymeriahale)

Summary: 7 years after Dan first spent a Christmas Eve with the Lesters he's finally returning, this time for the whole festive season.

Christmas Eve (ao3) - KaytheJay

Summary: Dan and Phil set up Santa for their daughter.

Christmas Eve in the Howell-Lester household - ultxmasunicornphanfics

Summary: Dan and Phil spend Christmas eve with their son, Jonathan, and end the evening with the one word story game.

Close To Me - paradisobound

Summary: Dan is a bartender at a local bar on Christmas Eve when a new customer walks in and asks for something strong. Hours later, he finds himself in the midst of a one night stand with the new customer that leaves him feeling something new the night before Christmas.

Happy Christmas - phinalphantasy7

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve 2009. Phil has had an amazing year, and the best part of it is sleeping on the sofa next to him.

How I Met Your Father - gorgeousdan

Summary:It’s Christmas Eve and Daphne Howell asks to hear the story of how her fathers met. Meanwhile, in 2015, Dan has been acting strange, and even he doesn’t know the cause.

Kindness (at the End) (ao3) - lovestillaround

Summary: A story about the Christmas Eve, a wooden chest left by Phil on the kitchen table, and a mission to get the key.

my wish come true (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan spends Christmas Eve with Phil in 2009.

No Time Like the Present (ao3) - brookwrites

Summary: It was Christmas morning in the Lester household. Well, really Christmas Eve morning, but Dan bumped it up so he could give Phil a very important gift before leaving for his own home.

The Last Roll Of The Wrapping Paper - auroraphilealis

Summary: It’s midnight on Christmas Eve, and Phil has just realized he has no wrapping paper.

The Night of Christmas Eve (ao3) - Full_Moon_Lover

Summary: “I know we hate each other but it’s Christmas Eve and your flight was cancelled, please come outside.”

two turtle doves (ao3) - ravels (orphan_account)

Summary: to say that christmas eve in the howell-lester household was a very busy event would be almost akin to saying, "the sun is rather warm."

or, a quick obligatory christmasfic featuring parent!phan, baking, and milo the corgi.

You Can Coax The Cold Right Out Of Me (ao3) - ashisnotmyname

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Dan and Phil are at a Christmas party. How will a game of spin the bottle change their relationship?

[flowerberry-dump]

Im writting a Crimson peak dreamnoblade au, wich goes a bit like this:

•Phil and Kirsten have 3 children, and after her death Philza stars neglecting them, reason why the oldest, Wilbur, stars taking care of his siblings every need

•that protectiveness becomes a bordeline unhealthy need to be near them, and when they try to separate them, Wilbur takes drastic meassures and they end up separated anyways

•years later they reunite, and life seems bright until a series of unfortunate (and quite murderous) deaths shakes everything again

•Wilbur clinges to the only thing he has left from his life, his brother Technoblade, desperate to not be left alone also by him

It got long so the rest is under read more

•When their family house starts badly falling appart and their inherited money becomes sparce, they start looking for ways to get more money. Techno tries to sell the idea of one of their associates, working with the clay mines on their terrain. It does not work out very well

•At a party, Wilbur meets Quackity, a young and promising american aristocrat, and he comes up with the idea to marry him for money. So, when Q has to go back, Wilbur and Techno travel too so Wil can try and woo Quackity.

•At arrival, they encounter that Quackity is actually engaged to Sapnap and Karl, but Wilbur is in desperate need so he keeps trying.

•Meanwhile, Techno tries to sell the work idea he had and for that he meets with important bussiness people, and in one of those reunions he meets the son of Captain puffy, Dream, a bright aspiring writter

•They realize they have a lot of things in common, and more often than not, when Wilbur is trying to spend time with Quackity, Techno goes to reunite with Dream. They go out and they just enjoy each other's company, and Techno even reads the novel Dream is working on

•After seeing them interact, Wilbur questions Techno on the nature of their relationship, and makes his brother promise he will never fall in love and leave him alone, telling him its only the two of them, and no one will truly understand them less love them with all the secrets they keep together. Techno, unconvinced, promised Wilbur that he will not leave him alone, more than anything to keep his brother's thinning sanity.

•After his attempts are unsucessful, Wilbur realized their best bet to get the money is actually Dream's relationship with his brother, so he convinces Techno they both should get married and move back to their family house.

•Dream says yes, but Puffy doesnt trust the brothers, so she seeks out to someone that can investigate their past, and after doing so, threatens to reveal the whole true of the deaths in their family if they dont go away and never come back.

•Shortly after, the threat never gets completed because Captain Puffy is murdered.

•After some time, Dream and Techno decide to get married, and they travel to the Minecraft's family house to start fixing it so they can love there. With Wilbur, of course.

•Dream starts noticing weird things happening around the house, and on top of that he starts suddently getting sick. He starts looking for answers, and finds about how many deaths actually happened there, and under what conditions those people died

[fight-the-corn]

sbi x reader part 7

I was terrified. The moment the door closed, I was waiting for the hammer to drop, my breathing immediately picking up. But my dad just walked away. What? I was confused. Was I not going to get punished? He walked to the kitchen and I trailed after him, hanging back. He just walked over to the alcohol cabinet and poured himself a drink. Then, he say down at the kitchen island, facing away from me.

Did I seriously get out of a punishment? The tension in my muscles slowly started to dissipate until he set the glass down and turned, crossing his arms.

"You've been gone for a while."

"Yes sir, when the Crafts found me they said I had been in bad condition, I was unconscious for three days. Otherwise I would've returned earlier. "

"I don't remember asking for an excuse."

I incline my head. "I'm sorry sir."

"Your mother is upstairs. Go get her, then come back down here. "

This was where the punishment was coming, and it was going to be bad, I could already tell. I walked up the stairs quickly, no use delaying the inevitable, it would only make it worse. I knocked on my mom's door, telling her dad had asked for her downstairs. Then I walked back down with her behind me.

Dad handed her a glass of whiskey as she entered the kitchen. "Wanna know where shes been all this time?"

My mom raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "So she's back. Where?"

"Apparently the whore took up residence with a family of four guys. You can guess what she's been doing this whole time. "

I went to interject. "No, it's not like that! They just took care of me, I had gotten frostbite and I was literally freezing on the street after you kicked me out! I was unconscious for almost the whole time! I wasn't sleeping with them! "

"A likely story. Either way, you're about to regret it. Don't pull that shit again."

Before I could respond, a hand cracked against my face. I felt a fist drive into my ribs. My arms were yanked behind me, I was forced into a painful position.

"It's gonna be a long night, princess, buckle up."

---

Meanwhile, the Crafts were debating their options. As soon as Phil got back to the car, Techno spoke up. "We all know she's going to be beaten to a pulp in there. Why did we let her just go home?"

Phil responded with a calm voice but a displeased face. "We can't force her to stay Tech. As much as I don't want to send her to those monsters, we can't do anything until she lets us. She should trust us, plus it's not a good idea to make her life decisions for her."

Wilbur spoke up. "She doesn't even know we're an option though! We'd gladly take care of her but she doesn't know to come to us! "

Tommy was quiet, which was unusual. When he spoke, he didn't speak in his normal loud voice. "I think we should tell her we could be an option. The foster homes where you'd be hurt but you had nowhere to go were the worst. She should at least be able to spend the bad nights with us."

"We can't just tell her we know though! I only know because I saw the bruises as the Blade. "

"We can just offer her sanctuary. She can choose whether or not to use it. As we build trust, we can talk about a more permanent solution with her. Don't push her for anything though." Phil spoke. In the end, they agreed on that plan.

Wilbur shot her a quick text saying "we loved having u! Feel free to swing by any time u need us, no matter how early or late! :)" and that was that for the time being.

---

My whole body hurt. I was sore in places that shouldn't be sore, bruises all over me. It hurt to walk, to stand, to exist. I wanted to cry. I think that was the worst it has ever been. I wasn't sure if my arm was fractured or not, not like I could get it checked. I wrapped it as best I could with what I had, then peeked at my phone. I saw the text from Wilbur and smiled. I let myself hope that, since they knew, they could help me. Maybe I could get out of this hellhole. Deep down, I knew it wasn't true, but a girl can hope, which is exactly what I planned on doing.

It was a Tuesday, so I had to go to school. I went back to the routine that I was so used to, the everyday lifestyle from before. Make breakfast, out of the house by the time mom and dad were up. Go to school. Do the shit that needed to be done. Class, homework, repeat. I had my lab in chem, but I hadn't gotten to write a pre-lab for it, so I was behind everyone. I had two tests that I hadn't been able to study for, so I'm like 90% sure I failed them both. Overall, it was stressful. I missed the Crafts. I wished more than anything that I had a family to fall back on. They were so lucky.

At least I was able to slip by my parents after school. I made dinner, then went to my room, having downed whatever scraps I could sneak, not wanting to risk an argument and possibly beating tonight. Laying in my bed, working, I slipped into a rhythm of work. I was only pulled out when I heard a knock at my window. I went to the window to see Blade, right on my second story balcony.

After I got over my jumpscare of seeing him, I opened the door, letting him in.

"Hi, I'm so glad you came by! I had to thank you for the other night, I'm so sorry I bothered you so late, but you probably saved my life with that favor. Thank you for getting me to a safe place."

He just nodded. "Why were you outside in the first place? "

"Um, I got in a fight with my parents. so I left."

He crossed his arms. "Don't bullshit me. You were kicked out."

I sighed. "Yeah. I was kicked out."

"You know, if that happens again, just call the Crafts. They loved you. They'd rather take you in again than let you freeze."

"Are you sure? They're so nice, I don't want to take advantage of that."

"You're not. They offered. I just said I'd pass along the message."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. They liked me? They wanted me around? That was more than I had ever hoped. At least I knew he wasn't lying, because this was literally Techno.

"How do you even know them so well?" Probably not the best idea, playing dumb, but I kind of wanted to push a little bit. Learn a bit more.

"We're close. They know a lot about me, and I know a lot about them. We've gotten each other out of some bad situations before. I trust them."

I nod. "How much did you tell them about me? Really? They said not much, but they seemed to know quite a bit about my living situation."

"I told them you're parents didn't seem very nice, and I didn't know the extent of it but I knew you were being hurt. "

At least he wasnt lying to me. He reminded me of techno, even after only knowing him for a short time. He had the same blunt responses to questions, where it seemed clear that he wasn't lying, but he wasn't trying to cushion or sugarcoat anything either. I appreciated it.

"Well, again, I wanted to say thank you for getting me to a safe place. I really appreciate it. I probably would've had a very long night if you hadn't picked up. Um, I'm not sure how the favor business works, so do I owe you one for that? Because it was pretty big. A lot bigger than just letting you stay here for 10 minutes. "

"Nah. We're even now."

I nod. "Ok. Um, can I ask why you came by? Not to be impolite, I'm just curious. "

"Just checkin on you."

"Oh." I was surprised, I didn't expect that. "Thanks?"

" No problem. so you're ok, right? "

"Yeah-"

"Sorry, I'll reword that. You're not okay, clearly, but if it ever gets too much, call me or go to the Crafts. Seriously."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"Its nothing you should have to handle."

"Its okay. I'm used to it."

For the first time, his tone changed from monotone to slightly agitated. "You shouldn't be!"

I bite my cheek at the change, immediately backing down. "Okay. I'll call you if I need anything."

"Don't just say that to make me happy. I'm sorry for raisin' my voice at you. But do call. We're here. "

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Uh, I'm gonna head out now though. Still gotta patrol tonight. "

"Alright. Bye! And thank you again!"

Part of me was screaming not to trust them, they were villains. But a tiny bit of me just wanted to call, and ask for help, because I knew that they were kind and patient and everything I had ever dreamed of in a family. It's fine, I tell myself. I'll survive. I have until now.

[faebriel]

Hi! Just read the hadestown au piece and I just wanted to say it was so gorgeous and heartbreaking at the same time.

I was wondering if you could say a little more about the au? Maybe some stuff about how everything plays out following where the fic ends (I know how Hadestown ends, just mean in the au terms) and obviously the walk out of the underworld (and Wilbur’s reaction)

O/

hi anon!! first of all i am so SO glad you enjoyed the fic <3 thank you so much, and thank you for the question as well!!

as for the rest of the au - well, the recap in the notes kind of summarises the first part. and niki finds wilbur, and fights schlatt, and gets dumped outside the walls, and goes to sleep.

the person who finds her, actually, is ranboo - for someone so goddamn lanky they're not bad at finding their way around hadestown unnoticed, and they've heard about niki from techno and phil back in the pit. he's the one who wakes her up. niki is still despairing and angry when she wakes, and turns to go - but ranboo, hopefully, asks her if she's the person techno and phil told them about, if she is the crack in the wall.

and niki is furious and hurting, still, but she doesn't entirely have the stomach to leave when ranboo is staring at her like this -> 🥺

so she follows him as far as the fighter's pit. and passes more people who recognise her, and whisper, and stare - people who heard about her the same way ranboo did, or people who saw That Fucking Display on the railway. not only did she care for the strangers here, but she stood up to schlatt (emotionally and physically lol). not only was she brave, but she was kind, too. and when guards pass, people offer to hide her. and people wish her well on her journey.

she reunites with techno, and, god damn - look around. techno really does think that with the people behind them, with quackity behind them (he could recognise a god's handiwork anywhere, and niki's guitar is so obviously mended by godly hands), they might actually have a chance at tearing schlatt down long enough to escape to freedom. forever free from governments what have you. and niki is bitter about wilbur, but she is still twice as furious with schlatt - so sure. gather the people, free the end. beat him at his own game. they charge the centre of the city

meanwhile, quackity and schlatt are getting into an absolute shitfit about this whole thing. ohhhh you're betraying me for some stupid mortal country why don't you like MY country huh WELL maybe if you weren't so AWFUL TO ME i would LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU etc etc etc. and quackity looks outside and he hears the distant sound of guitar and he's like oh. oh, shit. oh, thank god. they actually did it

while all this is happening, wilbur is continuing his no good very bad afterlife on the railway line, right in the centre of the city. wilbur is not really great with manual labour to begin with, if we're totally honest - he can build a house, or an office, but it's not how he likes to spend his time, and especially not in a place so grey and featureless and devoid of feeling or, well, life. and he's feeling quite horrible about the fact that not only do his friends mourn him, just as he hoped they might not, but niki came all the way down here for him. and she got hurt, because of him. it's a nightmare, but one in which he has signed over absolutely any power he had to affect the outcome.

phil finds him. security is getting kind of lax around hadestown. they talk about life, and death, and getting demoted from being the messenger between those two worlds because you got a bit too mouthy with the boss. it kind of puts things into perspective.

wilbur still doesn't regret sending niki away, because he knows he's trapped, but he regrets pretty much every other wasted second.

fortunately for him, niki is currently swept up in the crowd making its way straight to the heart of hadestown. techno is living up every second. oh, he has missed revolutionary action. techno is the righteous anger, ranboo is the soft-spoken follow-up, and niki is both. oh, wow, the four of them really make a charming matched set, don't they. almost like a syndicate okay i'm not gonna be coy look it's the syndicate

they make it to the heart. schlatt's really not happy. but man, he's in the mood to emotionally crush some hippies so - you want to sing and dance your way through my country? quackity sure thinks that little anthem you lot keep twittering on about is something special. so sing a song for me! make me laugh! make me WEEP! go on, if you think you're so special. sing it.

so niki sings the anthem.

okay. niki plays the anthem, and she sings it too, but she's one person and she hates this much scrutiny and her voice is failing even as she sings - and then, a voice pipes up from the crowd, someone who already knows all the words.

and wilbur sings it like he believes it, too. and in that moment, niki (tells herself) that she forgives every awful thing that happened between them since he took that train.

the melody is not hard to pick up. two voices become a dozen, become a hundred. (techno hums obligingly because okay, he doesn't love the symbol of the revolution being a country's anthem, but these things are kind of hard to change once they get rolling and he can sit most of these people down for a class on anarchism later - )

and schlatt gets emotional over this for three whole seconds. oh, three seconds is enough for wilbur and niki to reunite with more hugging and more tears and more apologies this time, and for quackity to reminisce about their pasts, and for him to think more about his country than he has in the last thousand years combined. and then he hates niki even more for it. oh, he respects the hustle. but also he despises the hustle.

so, fine: you want to get out of hadestown so badly, then? well. let's not make it easy for you. here is the age-old catch - wilbur can leave. but niki must walk ahead, and cannot look behind until the two of them have returned to the mortal world.

oh, he adds, and, wilbur - of course, if you change your mind, you're welcome back in hadestown. shit, you might have just earned yourself a promotion back here. if spring is coming again, i might just need someone to help lead down here.

and wilbur scoffs, as if i could ever do that!

and niki holds her breath beside him.

because leading hadestown - a domain over a country of citizens who cannot starve, and cannot die. without having to worry about mortal things ever again. isn't that exactly what wilbur would want? and he already left for less. he already left her for less.

so hadestown gathers. oh, yeah, they're coming too - they heard l'manberg's anthem, of course (or some of them heard techno's anarchist diatribes against governments and are quite excited to lead a life without rulers. it depends). there is niki, there is wilbur behind her, and she walks for a while and he walks for a while and they all walk for a while, and after that while niki calls out to him, but there is no response.

brief pandemonium.

schlatt's rigged it, you see - niki can't see wilbur. but now she can't hear him, either. can't let them go without one last trick. the crowd will have to guide her instead.

Niki takes a trembling step forward. "Got eyes on him, Niki," Techno calls from behind. A quiet laugh ripples through the crowd.

so they keep walking.

and walking...

and eventually, the crowd falls silent too. and doubt comes in.

it's been hours - beyond hours, beyond days - and niki hasn't heard a thing. there is no music, no bubbling of voices behind her, no shuffling of feet. for all she knows, wilbur turned back and left. for all she knows, everyone else gave up and followed him. why wouldn't they? they don't know where they're going. she barely knows where she's going. right back into the cold, and dark, right at the edge of winter - and who is she to lead them? niki isn't a god, or a muse's son, or a president or a tyrant - she's a baker, for gods' sake. her best friend died and her heart is still broken because of it. is that the kind of person who can lead a country's worth of people out of hadestown? it can't be. it can't be.

and none of that matters, because who cares who would and wouldn't follow her out of hadestown - wilbur wouldn't. he couldn't. he couldn't even follow her home when the alternative was literally dying. of course he would take up schlatt's offer. it's perfect for him. he already made his choice. he already chose his side. and he didn't choose her.

Niki staggers over the next crest, outlined in the bronze and gold of sunrise - painting a sharp, bright glow round every stray strand of hair, round the guitar scuffed and restrung across her back, round the shape of her trembling fists, pressing themselves tight against her sides. And she stops. "Does she look okay to you?" Technoblade mumbles, at Phil's shoulder. "It's a long walk," Phil responds. He is entirely too quiet for Wilbur's liking. Technoblade looks just as displeased with the answer as he is, and turns to Wilbur. "She normally good at walking?" She doesn't look well. She shakes - Niki, solid, steadfast in Wilbur's eye, never trembles. Her shoulders sink, and for a moment that rends his heart from his chest, Wilbur thinks she might be crying, and he's driving his nails into the flesh of his palms in matching fists before he can stop himself (because there is nothing he can do, silent, even if it's the exactly what Niki would scold him for). But all he hears are sharp, laboured breaths. Her boots rest at the edge of shadow. Niki stares down at them, edges blurring and warping, the sunlight crawling towards the tips of her toes - so, so close. She sang the song. Spring is almost here. She is almost home. But she can't bear walking home alone. Is he there? is all she can think. Is he - And she turns.

not to break the immersion, but - in hadestown, orpheus cannot bring himself to trust hades, and thus he turns. here is a bit different. niki doesn't trust schlatt, but she turns because she can't bring herself to trust wilbur anymore.

the crowd surges forward into the sunlight. surrounded by the flood of people, all niki can do is stare at wilbur - who, mere steps behind her, looks just as exhausted and filthy and heartbroken as she does.

and then he's gone.

-

i could never really decide how i wanted this fic to end.

the foundation is there. the people of hadestown swarm past niki, into the sunlight. quackity steps off the train. niki sinks to her knees, and phil puts a hand on her back, and techno and ranboo stand there hovering beside her because something really bad just happened and they don't know what to say.

tommy, tubbo, fundy and jack emerge from the ravine, shouting in glee as the crowd reveals itself as friend, not foe. tommy searches desperately for niki in the crowd. finally, he finds her, knelt on the ground. he knows before she turns to him, face streaked with tears. tubbo follows, and then shakes himself out of whatever grief-induced stupor his brain is trying to slip into - president of l'manberg, he turns to the nearest gangly teenager and starts ordering him around with piles of quilts for the country's newest residents. fundy and jack crowd around niki, and niki holds them as close as she can.

many ex-residents of hadestown settle into the ravine - the very one that niki spent hours carving rooms and gardens and homes into, in that slim space of time between losing l'manberg and losing wilbur. the others wander. i don't think niki stays. i think she fumbles around the ravine for a while, helping people settle in, but she doesn't feeling like she's really doing much. she's made a minister of the new government, but she can't bring herself to care.

i could never decide if i wanted l'manberg to go down with wilbur. it was already besieged enough without setting two godly anarchists (and their bffls) on it. and this time, i really do think niki would be the one to turn away. it wouldn't be surprising if it didn't survive another winter.

it feels a little cruel, but orpheus' story is cruel, too. do wilbur and niki meet decades later, in a peaceful afterlife? i don't know that either. i'll leave that part for you to figure out.

and here's a link to the fic if anyone missed it 🌹

[quackcicle-real]

fic masterlist !

feel free to request something from me! i looove writing, i mostly main connor and quackity !, but tbh if i do research i will write anyone <3

~

quackitys closure - quackity travels in time with karl, but something goes a little funky. he tries to go along with it but eventually sees a familiar face

am i really that bad? - the dealer and mr. mask are neck and neck villain and superhero !!! they are arch enemies !! meanwhile, quackity and dream are best friends that Love to cause chaos <3

loving is easy when everything's perfect - quackity runs a museum with his fiances (karl and sapnap), and tubbo likes to visit him and they hang out and they are just very happy

i hope we both die - There was nothing left to do. Las Nevadas had finally fallen apart. The team was gone and people fully evacuated. It didn’t matter how many times Quackity assured them it was safe, and Dream would never get them, they didn’t listen. Nobody listened. So there he sat. In his office, in his country that he tried so hard to keep together. In his country he formed out of heartbreak, and grief, and loss. In his country that was doomed from the beginning. Just like Quackity, everything was doomed for him.

i loved you then and i loved you now - connor, for the first time since they met, shares with schlatt about his gender and asks him for help

close your eyes, so afraid. hide behind that baby face - dream was given peony when he was 14 years old from a godly figure. he was given no explanation, though he was promised shed be taken back. its hard, being 14 and raising a daughter, but it gets better. thats what phil promised him.

happy times together we've been spending. i wish every kiss was never ending. - dia de los muertos. a day to celebrate the dead. to celebrate the lives of those who were once there, and enjoying that they eisted to begin with. quackity used to love the holiday season, but now it were spent alone. it was spent doing work for his nation. he didn't do anything for most part, other than dia de los mertos. a tradition taken from his mom, to show respect. what a life.

let me take this coat and this weight off of your shoulders - tubbo doesn't want to be a villain. he hates being a villain. but he's there for tommy. he's always there for his best friend. and tommy promised that he'll fix everything.

you've got my whole world in your hands, got that little blue spot - again and again, connor dies. he's finished up in a world, he's played his entire course. each time he dies, he fails, he meets xd. and has to look them in the eyes. for once, they don't look at him with anger. instead, for once, they look at him with kindness.

i need you now, i love you so much, more than you could know - the sbi throw a holiday party!! (so many people are attending ....)

i try so hard to be so happy, are you happy too? - an apocalypse caused by the revival of people! schlatt and wilbur stick together because of their history. connor eventually joins them because hes immune. connor thinks they need a little bit of holiday spirit ! :)

no, i dont care about anything at all. but i still stop and stare everytime that you call - connor and schlatt have a little talk

vvv LATEST FIC vvv

im starving, darling. let me put my lips on something - schlatt hates bad jokes, but thats all connor can do. how is he gonna get out of this one ?!

[rmpmw]

Tablet: My hero’s journey

Let me start on a side note: Dear netbook makers, whoever you are — I don’t know your names because we don’t pay any attention to you, but we know you’re out there, polluting the world with your cheap, ugly, underpowered machines — but here is my command: Surrender and prepare to be boarded. Yes, you’ve been pwned. We told you we didn’t care about the netbook market, so you went ahead with your plans, but now we’re about to put you out of business — iTablet is in the final stages, which means Apple will be taking over the market you created and then reinventing it in such a way that it immediately becomes 10 times bigger than it used to be, and all the money goes to Apple.

Honestly, Apple faithful, I feel like Jesus coming down from Mount Zion with those stone tablets. Except my tablet is electronic, which Katie says makes me Electronic Jesus. Of course she’s kidding. We really don’t go around comparing me to Jesus. Frankly, it’s apples and oranges, and it sort of diminishes both of us to put us in a framework like that. But I really view this product as the crowning achievement of my career. I’ve come to believe it is the reason I was put on earth. And yes, this is why I was, well, a bit of a dick to the people who were working on it. Because it had to be perfect. And you know what? It is. It’s actually better than perfect, which maybe you didn’t think was possible, but it is. In fat that is a phrase I first heard from my friend I.M. Pei (who by the way just loves his 30-inch Cinema Display) when he was telling me about that glass pyramid at the Louvre. “Steve,” he said to me, “it is better than perfect.” Ever since then, I’ve strived to reach that level of beyond perfection, or, as we say at Apple, “perfection plus.”

And now we’ve hit it. Because iTablet truly is the most amazing product I’ve ever created, more amazing even than iPhone, and I was pretty sure iPhone would never be topped. Fast network? Check. Gorgeous interface? Check. Light weight? Sleek design? Great (unremovable) battery life? Check, check, check. Childlike wonder? Almost too much of it. In fact, the first time Phil Schiller held iTablet in his hands, he began to shake and had to sit down. It’s that overwhelming.

As usual, we began with an ad campaign. Then we went through excruciating rounds of prototyping and non-thinking and dozens of emergent designs. Then came months of trying to decide whether the tablet should be white or black, and looking at plastics, and getting the exact right gloss. Then came the packaging, and finally, last March, we began the lock-down period where the two dozen engineers who are most crucial to the project are kept on campus 24×7 so that they can’t talk to their families or friends about what they’re doing. For 18 of those hours every day they work in solitary confinement, communicating with each other only through email and instant messages, and receiving delicious, freshly cooked ethnic meals through a slot in their door. For six hours they are put into “sleep mode,” meaning they are hooked to an IV and put into an intensely restful chemically induced coma in solitary sleep pods (shiny white, natch) during which time their dreams are monitored and scrubbed of any information that we deem proprietary.

Now we’re in the final stage — leak mode. No doubt you’ve seen the articles, like this one in Apple Insider or the one in the Financial Times where they said we’re doing some “Cocktail” thing with music companies so we can force people to go back to those wonderful days when you had to buy a whole album of shit songs just to get the one song you liked. That part about the music companies and the cocktail was what we call a “barium enema,” meaning it’s fake info that we attach to the real info so that we can trace who leaked it and then have that person shot.

Meanwhile, we’re also well into rehearsals for the iTablet keynote. And, as always, it’s making me nuts. We spend eight to ten hours a day on stage in the recreation of the Moscone Center here on campus. And it’s just grueling. Every few seconds I have to stop because some tiny thing is not quite … perfection plus. I realize I’m being overly obsessive, but I can’t help myself. This is a super important event. Not only because we’re introducing the most amazing product the world has ever seen, but because this marks my return from the underworld.

We’re using the code name “Project Orpheus,” and in order to create the right vibe for the event everyone on the events team was required to read Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces.” Because think about it. A hero goes off on a journey or adventure; experiences tremendous challenges that threaten his life; he possibly even dies, and journeys into the underworld; but then he returns to the ordinary world with a great gift, or “boon,” to share with the world. (Yeah, I know — “boon” sounds like “boom.” Happy accident. We’re working with it.)

Anyway, just like Orpheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to the world, my gift to the world is iTablet — a device that incorporates not just chips and software, but magic. Special secret powers from Mount Olympus, stuff that turns you into a kind of man-god, a semi-divine being with a magic tablet so light that you can’t even feel it in your backpack or briefcase but with the ability to connect you to the Internet and enable you to buy anything you want as long as it comes from Apple. In other words, you’re a superhero. With super powers. All this for only $899!

If you doubt the power of this hero’s journey myth to sell products, well, I urge you to check out some of the organizations that have used it in the past. Like there’s this product called Christianity. Have you heard of it? Pretty big deal. I mean they’ve been selling that stuff for two thousand years — to be sure, with updates and upgrades, and a lot of forking of the code — but it’s still throwing off huge amounts of positive cash flow. All based on this amazing marketing narrative about a dude who dies, goes down into Hades, and comes back to the ordinary world with something to tell. You spiff that story up a bit and tell it just right, and people send you their money. Not just once, but over and over and over again, throughout their entire lives. Brilliant! It’s the greatest marketing campaign ever invented.

But you know what? This whole “I’m off to get a liver and might even die but oh wait, I’m back now and guess what, I saw God and here’s the tablet computer that he wants you to use” thing is right up there. People are gonna be so excited to see me on stage that they’ll do anything I tell them. P.T. Barnum? David Blaine? The big J.C. himself? I have pieces of guys like that in my stool. So, my advice? Keep your Tuesdays in September free. Get the lawn chairs and blankets ready, and start staking out a space in front of your local Apple store, and get those credit cards ready. Nerdvana is just around the corner. Seriously. It’s closer than you think.

[made-nondescript]

You know what would be great and awful? Tommy’s been doing his own thing for so long & only talking to like, Phil and Wilbur, who wouldn’t tell him, so he has no idea Tubbo’s doing ambassador stuff on another server until a while after Tubbo’s left.

Tommy: Why didn’t he tell me???

Ghostboo: Idk man, probably because you haven’t spoken with him since literally before I died. Kinda dropped the ball there, didn’t you? I mean geez, no wonder he wanted to leave, haha.

(Meanwhile, Tubbo: man, Tommy would find this so cool, oh Tommy would annoy the shit out of these people it would be hilarious, Tommy would totally have laughed at that joke-)

Tubbo DID tell Tommy about his whole ambassador thing, but in truth he wasn’t listening that closely. It sounded like a load of boring political shit from how it was described, having to talk about “trade” and “resources” and whatever the fuck you do when you go to someone else’s server to make an “alliance.” The benefits did sound nice. He won’t lie about that. But mostly he was glad he wouldn’t be the one having to talk to a bunch of politicians with sticks up their ass about the economy.

He forgets. About the ambassador thing, and about Tubbo. In his defense he was a bit preoccupied.

A lot of the Hermits, meanwhile, know about Tommy. Once the formality of Tubbo’s presence on Hermitcraft frays, he starts voicing all those Tommy-related thoughts. He’d love that stream right there, with all the flowers, or he’s always really liked cows, he’d love that shop. 

Tubbo brings Moo-pop back for him only to realize that he isn’t even sure where to find him anymore. The pop goes bad. 

I really like the idea of Ghostboo updating Tommy on all this. Like at that point it’s been a year or more since the arrangement has begun and it’s all but fallen off Tommy’s radar, and then very helpfully his bestie’s dead husband starts rambling about that server Tubbo spends so much time on.

“More time recently than usual.” Boo adds thoughtlessly. “With MIchael, sometimes, too.”

Boo tells him the little that Ranboo knew: about the scale of it all, the wealth of kindness, the way Tubbo always seemed a bit more bright when he returned. Of the treasures he’d always come back with and gifts with no one to give them too. And, notably, their lax attitude towards security.

That’s when Tommy decides it’d simply be irresponsible for him to not investigate.

[anonbeeishere]

Secret Princes Wilbur and Tommy AU

the sleepy bois are the ruling family of the antarctic empire, which is one of the largest and strongest kingdoms in the world

it goes king phil, crown prince technoblade, and princes wilbur and tommy

the royal family has a tradition where, in order to connect with their people and learn other cultures, each member of the royal family will leave to travel the world at age 15 with one or two trusted people. when tommy turns 15 he leaves with wilbur

the point of this journey is that no one knows theyre the princes, so they just dont tell anybody and like walk or ride horseback everywhere.

they send a letter home at least once a week to let their family know theyre safe and where they are.

they pick up tubbo somewhere along the way and he & tommy become best friends and he travels with them

they dont tell him anything for a while but once theyre sure they can trust him they do

he figured it out a long ass time ago tho lmao

so they travel as a trio for a while

shortly after tommy turns 16 they come upon the lands of the dream smp

they send a letter back to phil saying theyre gonna stop there for a while and then continue on later

and then the letters just stopped

phil & tech get like. SUPER WORRIED bc theyve lost all contact with their family

so they decide to go there themselves and send a messenger ahead of them asking for an urgent diplomatic meeting.

(meanwhile wilbur decided Hey Drugs Are Nice Actually and started a revolution bc he wanted to sell them and just,,,,, forgot,,,,,, about sending letters back home)

by the time phil & techcno got worried enough to go find them the whole election had gone down so theyre exiled and in pogtopia when they get there

the people who show up to the meeting are dream, eret (since theyre technically King), and schlatt and his cabinet (george quackity and tubbo)

phil calls the meeting to order and tells them that his eldest and youngest sons had gone on their Journey and that the last theyd been heard from was in this area, so “If anyone has heard anything about my sons, Princes Wilbur and Tommy, please, we haven’t heard from them in months.”

chaos ensues

tubbo just spends this whole meeting holding back laughter bc this is honestly so funny to him

dreams like “oh fuck i SHOT the prince of the antarctic empire”

schlatt is trying to think of ways to turn this in his favor

tubbo pipes up “hi mr king philza i know where they are! i’m tubbo!”

and phil lights up like “oh tubbo! my sons have told me so much about you!”

(quack george & eret are just sitting in shocked silence the whole time)

so the meeting comes to an end and tubbo offers to go get the two missing princes while everyone else waits in manburg

so word got out that the king and crown prince of the antarctic empire were paying the smp a visit and so theyve attracted a bit of a crowd

(its basically everyone who wasnt in the meeting)

everyone who was there is still kinda in shock so no one says anything

phil & techno (but mostly phil bc “oh no social situations”) talk to the people of manburg while waiting on tubbo and phil gets into a conversation with niki about whats been going down around here. he learns about all the war & election stuff from her.

meanwhile she is INCREDIBLY curious about why theyre here and no ones said anything yet but she doesnt want to ask bc yknow. royal family & all

and then techno is rugby tackled by a flying tommy. like “teeeeEEEEEECHNOOOOOOO” B A M

everyone around them is like. horrified. bc techno being techno has a reputation for his battle prowess and bloodthirstiness so theyre like “oh god is he going to be murdered”

but no. phil just busts a gut laughing at the boys on the ground while techno complains in his typical deadpan tone

tommy starts rambling at techno and about a minute later here comes wilbur & tubbo.

they see the sheer confusion happening and tubbos like “did you not tell them??” phil: “and miss out on this? no way”

(phil can have a little chaos. as a treat)

after phil stops laughing he pries tommy off of techno and pulls both his missing boys into a hug like “oh god i was so worried you didnt write for months i didnt know if you were even alive” and they both feel so guilty and apologise and they just hug for a minute

(tommy grabs techno & drags him in too)

and when phil’s done reassuring himself that his boys are ok he does a COMPLETE 180. he grabs them both by the ear like “now whats this i hear about you starting wars in foreign countries??? i taught you better than to start shit with potential allies!!”

everyone around them is so fuckin confused. niki’s just like “uh,,,, tubbo? do you know whats going on?”

he just casually says “oh i forgot you guys didnt know! yeah tommy and wilbur are princes of the antarctic empire”

“.......WHAT”

wilbur & tommy get scolded for a solid 20 minutes while the entire population of manburg goes through the realization that these idiots are royalty. fundy & niki get over it the quickest & fundy decides to be a lil shit

(so in this au fundy isnt really wilburs son but instead he’s accidentally called wilbur dad MULTIPLE TIMES so its become a running joke between the members of the former l’manburg that fundy is his son)

so after the Scolding he walks up to wilbur like “hey DAD why dont you introduce me to my grandpa?”

wilburs like “FUNDY NO- ugh dad this is our friend fundy. he keeps calling me dad by mistake so now we call him my son as a joke”

“..... i cant believe im already a grandfather” (tommy laughs so hard he falls over again)

techno and phil can’t stay for too long after they make sure everything is okay so they stay for like a week to get to know will & tommy’s friends (and techno does a bit of Threatening @ dream & schlatt so they stop with the serious fighting shit)

they also do some ~~~~politics talk~~~~ to smooth everything over bc like. they DID start a revolution in a foreign country

tommy gets his discs back as part of it but phil immediately takes them away for the rest of the time he’s there

will & tommy decide they want to stay at least a little while longer bc they have friends there and dont want to leave quite yet. phil lets them but they have to promise not to start any more wars and schlatt decides to be smart for once and revokes the banishment so its mostly,,, well not peaceful bc this IS the dream smp but theres not any more big wars at least

and at some point everyone goes to visit the antarctic empire and see where tommy & wilbur grew up and realize how COLD it is there

[ramzawrites]

Familial Love - Dad!Badboyhalo and Reader Part 1

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Philza, Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, Badboyhalo

Warnings: n/a

Series: only a two parter

Summary: Having mischievious kids who were interested about the nether, Philza thought it would be the smartest thing to bring his whole family togther into the other world, so he could keep his eyes on them and satisfy their curiosity. Besides, they all could collect some resources while being there, though once in the nether they find more than they bargained for. Bringing in BadBoyHalo who might be able to help with this delicate matter.

Words count: 2684

Authors Note: It was a request ages ago but I sadly lost it, now I’m using it to slowly get back into writing and I know I’m horrible when it comes to multiple chapter fics but I am already almost done with the second part though I have to heavily edit it since I forgot something important. I can’t promise I’m turning back into an upload every week but I’m going to slowly inch my way back to it. I would appreciate some feedback on this one since it’s been a while :)

Philza was fanning some air towards his face using his hand. This wasn’t really helping, of course. The air in the Nether was way too hot for that but he had no better way to deal with the heat that he was currently experiencing. He used to be better at that but he has been spending way more time in the Overworld as of late due to personal projects and having to raise three kids, hence why it took him a bit by surprise with how much trouble he seemed to have to adapt to this environment.

This was also mirrored by his oldest kid Wilbur, which made sense seeing how he only spend minimal time in the Nether, meanwhile Technoblade did fine and interestingly enough, while Tommy was obviously also uncomfortable in this heat, he seemed to be doing better than Philza and Wilbur. Techno was born in the Nether so while it might take a moment he had no problem getting used to this, but Tommy? It was his first time in the Nether so it was a bit surprising. Philza just chalked it up to him being younger and able to adapt faster.

“You sure you guys want to help find the materials?” Philza was looking at both Wilbur and Tommy, though his attention was primarily on Wilbur who was once again wiping away the sweat on his brow.

Both nodded but only Wilbur spoke “Yeah! It’s usually just you and Techno, we want to help out for once as well.”

Philza squinted his eyes, staring his son down “This is bullshit but I’ll take the help nonetheless. I’m sure you will also find the things you both are looking for, would be easier if you would just tell me outright what though.”

“You knew?”

Wilbur clasped his hand around Tommy’s mouth and pulled him closer “It’s fine, dad! We’ll be fine! We’re gonna get that blackstone and the wood in no time!”

He then proceeded to drag Tommy off who begun to angrily yell at Wilbur.

“Remember to stay close!” Phil tried to throw after them but it seemed to go unnoticed, which meant he needed to stay close to them and not the other way around.

“They’ll be fine.” Techno suddenly appeared next to him. An iron axe in his hands.

Philza sighed “ I hope. It’s Tommy’s first time in the Nether and Wilbur doesn’t spend a lot of time here. We have to make sure to stay close.”

Techno nodded, he too was worried about his brothers as well after all “They have some Enderpearls should anything happen and Wilbur will make sure to look out for Tommy.”

He was correct. Philza went over this with all of his sons a ton of times. Teaching them how to enderpearl away while falling and training their aim. He also made sure to tell them all of all the dangers that would await them here. Giving them enchanted bows that could one hit a Ghast.

There was no sense in dwelling on that for now though, hence why Philza hesitantly approached a red tree. His diamond axe soon burrying itself deep into the surprisingly soft wood. Not only is this wood beautiful if used correctly but this wood was also fire resistant which could be helpful for some of his other builds.

Techno was also already on it. He was younger than Wilbur and yet he already showed greater strength than him. Though this wasn’t surprising seeing how Techno was a Piglin Hybrid. They usually grow up pretty fast and were known for their brute strength.

With one swing of his axe he was already pretty deep into the tree. He was just a kid and yet he could keep up with Philza’s rate of cutting down these trees pretty well.

All the while Philza would make sure to run after Wilbur and Tommy. Cutting down the trees close to them. Always making sure that all of his three kids were in his peripheral view. They were still clumsy young children and every time they would even just stumble for a small second his heart would drop.

At times Wilbur and Tommy would try to coax Techno over to show off a cool looking mushroom. At first he was unsure, just wanting to help gather the few recourses that Philza needed but the more his brothers asked the bigger his curiosity got. It didn’t take long for him to join his brothers to look at all the interesting plants and other things they found. Philza just gave him a nod as a sign he is allowed to go after them.

Of course, as a worried father, Philza would still keep his eyes on them.

Honestly this was probably a horrible idea to bring them all with him. The Nether is just too dangerous for kids but also they were so curious! And mischievous kids who are curious about something specific especially when their father doesn’t allow them to approach it? That seems to spell disaster, so, in his infinite wisdom Philza thought it would be a good idea to bring them in with him for a really small outing. Nothing special. He even made sure the portal was in a good place and made it as safe as possible before he took his whole family in.

So when he suddenly heard a scream his heart figuratively stopped. He was so preoccupied with his worry that he didn’t notice how the kids left his view. Without hesitating Philza dropped the heavy axe and instead opened up his wings. With just a few beats of his wings he flew up into the air. Frantically looking around for his sons, hoping they haven’t gone further underground. It calmed him down that there weren’t more screams which could mean one of them just got scared for a second, or they are all already dead not having a chance to yell out again.

Realizing that thinking about this would only make it worse he begun to fully concentrate on the environment, calling out to his sons in the progress. Sweat rolled down the side of his face, this time not only due to the heat but also due to the fear that seemed to fester deep down in his heart and bones with every second he couldn’t find his family.

Then suddenly he saw something blonde. Thank the End Tommy had such an easy to spot hair color. And next to him were Wilbur and Techno, all three of them seemed to look at something laying on the floor. Philza couldn’t make it out from up in the air since the kids put all of their heads together above the item of interest. Either way they seemed to be alright.

As Philza landed close to them he put his hand against his heart “By Ender you guys scared me. Are you alright? I heard one of you scream and I couldn’t see you. Didn’t I tell you guys to stay close to me for that exact reason?”

He kept on rambling along, more out of nervousness and guilt but was stopped as Wilbur looked up, turned around and just stared at his father with a confused expression. In this confusion was a worry there that made Philza almost cautious. Something was wrong after all.

Techno and Tommy followed suit, all of them finally forming an opening so he could see what they were staring at.

On the hot nether ground there was a bundle. A bundle that slowly moved around.

Philza slowly approached it, soon noticing two horns poking out of this bundle. Wrapped in this dirty brown cloth was a baby. A baby with two horns on their forehead and shimmering skin. It looked like there was shimmering ink buried beneath the skin that was now happily dancing across. There was no glow to it and yet he couldn’t describe it differently. There was a shimmer.

This was a demon baby.

His eyes widened as he realized this, fatherly instincts kicking in as he scrambled to get that child off the ground. It was most likely fine seeing how they are a demon but in his mind right now he needed to get the child off the hot netherrack.

“Dad, whose is it?” Tommy stepped closer, pulling on his fathers long sleeve. While young he seemed to understand the implications of a frail small baby just lying around on the ground, understanding that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

And he was correct. In Philza’s life he has met demons only a couple of times but has already read a lot of texts on them. While they can live in either the Overworld or the Nether most get born inside the Nether and just like humans, they usually grow up with parents at their side. Parents that taught them how the world works and showed them how to control their magical prowess.

They got the name demon by their unnatural ability and affinity for magic. Being able to control the magic of an enchanting table like no other, able to read the enchantments and crafting new ones. Some even showed outside of enchanting abilities like summoning forth fire for example.

This child was orphaned. Maybe the parents died? He has never heard stories of demons abandoning their own kin, though only because he hasn’t heard it, this doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. He just knew that they took their kin seriously and it was in their eyes one of the strongest bonds that you can have. If a demon called you their kin? That is something special and honoring.

Philza looked the child over one more time. No wounds, no jewelry not anything that could tell him what has happened here or whose baby it is.

As his hand came across the cloth, trying to see if there might be anything embroidered on there the baby instinctively grabbed for his hand. Holding on to his pinky for dear life. Accompanied by a few babbling baby noises. Melting his heart in the process but it also pulled him out of his frantic thoughts.

The next few minutes he ordered his boys to scour the place a bit. Trying to look for any hints of the baby’s parents but there was nothing.

“So, what do we do with them?” Wilbur asked, standing on the tips of his toes as he tried to get a good look at the baby again. The dark horns was what really piqued his interest. Realistically he knew things like this were possible, seeing how his father hand black wings, but it still seemed so magical and impossible.

“Do we have, uh, a new sibling?” Techno asked. His cheeks turning into a soft shade of red as he asked. His eyes darting to the ground. He still wasn’t used to this even though he was adopted and a Piglin Hybrid he was very much a part of the family.

With wide and hopeful eyes Tommy looked up at Philza “I can be a big brother?”

Oh.

Philza wanted to agree. Wanted to tell them, to greet the new member to their family but he couldn’t. Not in good consciousness when he knew there was a better option. An option that would teach the kid what they needed. He couldn’t teach them anything about magic beyond enchanting tools with an enchantment table.

Besides he did know a demon. He met him only a couple of time, so they weren’t particular close but he knew how to reach him and this seemed to be by far the best and most fair option for this baby.

So, he shook his head. All three kids almost seemed shocked at that.

“Why?” Wilbur asked, his hand now holding onto the cloth that the child was wrapped in.

“Because I couldn’t give the child what they needed but I know someone else who can give the child a proper chance at life. Listen, you don’t need to understand yet but trust me as a father. Besides I’m sure we can visit them!”

This wasn’t enough for the children obviously. Asking more questions, trying to get a specific answer. Just repeating the questions.

“That’s enough! This is my decision and as your father and as the resident adult who actually has to take care of all of you, this is my decision. You’ll understand when you get older, I promise.”

Of course there was still some groaning and mumbling but the kids noticed that this was not something they could change Philza’s mind on. Didn’t mean they have to like that though.

With that Philza guided his family back into the overworld as fast as possible. Once back out the nether he made sure to see if the baby was dealing well with the sudden environmental change but they just kept on smiling and babbling which he interpreted as a good sign.

With the help of a long range communicator Philza managed to send of a message to said demon who in return managed to visit Philza after a day using the nether as a hub to travel faster. Seeing how he needed a full day to travel using the nether roof just showcased how far he actually was.

It was Wilbur who opened up the door to him. A tall demon clad in black clothes that had grey and red accents. Two horns grew out of his forehead similar to that of the babies, his skin being a deep black vortex that seemed to swirl but whenever you tried to really concentrate on it , it seemed to disappear and move to the corner of your eye.

Wilbur rubbed his eyes “Um, hello?”

A bright and happy smile appeared on the demons face, a thin tail moving happily around in the back “Hello! Nice to meet you! I’m BadBoyHalo! Your father messaged me, can I talk to him? Is he here?”

“Dad! Someone is here at the door! Is it that guy that is gonna steal our sibling?”

It only took Philza a short moment until he arrived at the front door with the baby in his arms, washed and taken care of to the best of his abilities “Wilbur! We talked about it, he is not stealing them! I’m sorry, Bad but I appreciate you coming over.”

Both Techno and Tommy walked in behind him, obviously having caught on to what was happening. Their expressions sad and almost dark. Still thinking that this was unfair.

Bad curiously pointed at the child in Philza’s arms “That’s them? Can I take a closer look?”

He didn’t hesitate to give Bad the child. Bad might have only been an acquaintance but he knows for a fact that he is a peaceful person. Someone who only fights to protect but don’t let that fool you. He was still powerful and dangerous.

It didn’t surprise him at all when Bad poked lovingly one of the chubby cheeks of the baby and cooed “Aw, look at you! Aren’t you adorable!”

This seemed to confuse Wilbur though who saw Bad as a mighty demon, not as a demon that just melted at one look of a baby.

“What can you tell me about them?”

Bad’s happy, scrunched up face returned to normal, now looking with a serious expression towards Philza “They already have their horns which isn’t unusual but more rare. It’s close to how mine are formed so if we Demons weren’t spread thin all around the place I would say they would technically be in the same clan as me. It’s the typical form of pyromancers but that doesn’t have to be it. I can’t feel any spells on them not even any protective spells which is weird. Even if parents abandon their kids they still apply a few protective spells, hoping it will give them enough time for other Demons to find them.”

“So, you think their parents died?”

“I-“ Bad begun only to scrunch up his eyebrows, an air of sadness seemed to sweep through the room “We are so wide spread and don’t live only in the nether anymore, so, abandoning a baby hoping that another demon finds them is… rare at best. We stick together. Our kin is important to us. I don’t think this was planned. No, they would have given over their child to people they trusted. This feels wrong. Very wrong.”

His voice wavered a bit at the end. The sadness of the situation seemed to have hit him.

Philza crossed his arms as he listened, the kids now almost hiding behind him but still peeking at the strange man “That’s- I have hoped for something better somehow but I figured it would be something like this. Can you help? Will you think about my proposal?”

“I’m not sure-“ but he got interrupted by the cries of the baby but Bad reacted immediately. Slowly swaddling them and carefully wiping away their tears. Lulling them slowly to calm them down again.

“What was it you wanted to say?” Philza tried to get back on topic.

“I’m- I’m taking them home. I’ll be their father.”

A huge smile spread across Philza’s face “Well, congratulations and thank you. Do you already have a name for them in mind?”

It shocked him when Bad immediately answered “Y/N. Their name is Y/N.”

[bonesandthebees]

Then Wilbur asks about the playing favourites. And Phil gives him enough time to gather his thought without pushing because again he knows Wilbur. It’s kinda cool to spend all these chapters watching their relationship built and to now get to see all that progress on display. It’s very satisfying, Bee.

Anyway, Wilbur asks about the playing favourites. And here we get to see one of the big differences between them. Because Wilbur was raised a prince and a politician. He cares about all these unspoken rules because they were drilled into him. And he cares what other people think of him, because he’s been treated like shit for most of his life. Just once, he wants people to like him. So maybe some part of him is scared that this will impact how people view him negatively. When in reality to opposite is probably true. Like it cannot get worse the it was on Eldingvegr.

Then we have Phil, who was not raised a politician, who does not care about these rules except when involved with people who do if he needs them for something. Phil who stopped caring about outer people’s opinions a long time ago. He knows his people don’t really care either. Not enough to say anything about it anyway. They respect/fear him too much for that.

And it is so funny to see that difference play out in real-time. Funny and sad. Because Wilbur is convinced that this is wrong. He isn't used to being put before Tommy and it feels wrong. Which isn’t to say that he doesn’t like or deserve it. But it hurts so much that for once in his life he’s been given value and being put first and he’s willing to give it up because it’s upsetting Tommy. Not that I’m sure he wants to give it up. But he does think that something needs to be done until Phil reacts so casually and he realises that maybe it’s fine. Maybe he can have this nice thing.

(2/?)

-🌲

I'm so glad it feels satisfying to see the progression of their relationship!!! I love doing slow burn relationship development in stories because it makes things SO satisfying once you get to a point of closeness. phil and wilbur's dynamic has shifted so much since the beginning, and you can really see how comfortable wilbur is with him now, and how phil knows exactly how to get wilbur to say what's on his mind, and it's such a stark difference to before.

yup :) another difference between phil and wilbur is very on display in this chapter. phil wasn't raised royal. he'll follow the basic rules and play nice with other politicians, but he doesn't actually give a shit about the stupid etiquette stuff. he doesn't care that he's playing favorites because why would he pretend he's not? he's not going to bullshit and pretend like he isn't way closer to wilbur than he is with tommy. in his mind, that just seems pointless. he knows his people well enough to know he can get away with something like that and it won't damage him.

meanwhile though, wilbur has spent his entire life on his tip toes trying not to upset people by breaking etiquette. he's so used to be disliked just for breathing, that now that he's finally on a planet that doesn't really care that he's a bastard, he desperately doesn't want that to get fucked up. so this favoritism freaks him out, because he knows people will judge him for it.

it's definitely sad how wilbur feels like this isn't right. tommy is supposed to be the one put first, and he doesn't want to disrupt that status quo that's been true for his whole life. but then phil just doesn't care. tells him it's fine. and if the Emperor himself isn't worried, then maybe wilbur can just... have this.

[blockgamepirate]

On Philza and Tommy

I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while but I just didn’t wanna rewatch ANY exile streams because they genuinely make me so depressed and anxious but I finally forced myself to rewatch the one where Phil visits Tommy. Or I say “rewatch”, I actually never saw the whole thing before, I kept popping in and out of the stream while it was live bc of the aforementioned anxiety and shit..

Anyway, I’ve seen arguments over the topic of whether Phil is a terrible person for not helping Tommy or not. And I wanted to offer my take on it. So I’m just gonna go through the arguments:

1: “Phil is Tommy’s dad and has a duty to look after him“

I’m not gonna spend too much time on this because for one thing it’s not really canon and for another, I actually don’t think it’s the relevant issue here. Even if Phil was Tommy’s dad, Tommy has already basically been living independently for a while. And even back when Phil and Will were still talking about the family relationships being canon, Phil said as much: that he doesn’t have authority over his boys, they’re independent people.

2: “Phil doesn’t even know Tommy and it’s unfair to ask him to look after a stranger”

I legitimately have no idea where this take came from or what it’s based on. I feel like it’s so obvious that they knew each other from before Phil even joined the SMP. Tommy recognises him right away (1), they act very familiar with each other, Phil immediately attacks Dream when Dream blows up Tommy’s house (2), Tommy tries to convince Phil to join NLM but Phil is torn because he’s friends with both Techno and Tommy (3), they plan to make their houses in NLM next to each other and Phil helps Tommy build his (4), Phil specifically gives Tommy one of the three friendship emeralds he has (5)... Also OOC Phil refers to himself as basically a father figure to Tommy (6).

The reason their relationship becomes colder is because Tommy doesn’t approve of Phil staying friends with Techno. I think this is made pretty obvious too. Tommy gets upset with Phil when he sees him hanging out with Techno (7) and when Phil comes to visit him in exile, Tommy immediately acts cold towards him and accuses him of being Techno’s friend before softening a bit when Phil gives him gifts (5).

Ref:

1: I assume you’ve all seen this one it’s in Tommy’s video

2: Philza’s Twitch Archive: Nov 16 (around 03:44:30)

3: Tommyvods: Tommyinnit speaks to Philza’s wife (around 37:40)

4: Philza’s Twitch Archive: Nov 18 (around 18:55)

5: Tommyvods: Tommy Is Holding It Together in Exile with Dream (around 24:35)

6: Philza’s Twitch Archive: Jan 27 (around 01:20:30)

7: Tommyvods: Tommy & Wilbur make Tubbo a gift and he hates it (around 19:30)

3: “Phil didn’t help Tommy at all while he was in exile“

Oh shut up, watch reference video 5 again. He brought Tommy tons of useful shit, a stack of coal blocks, 8 iron blocks, diamond boots, how was he supposed to know that it would all get destroyed by Dream? When asked, he also helped Tommy with his projects at Logstedshire.

4: “Even if Phil isn’t Tommy’s father OR his friend, he still has a duty to save an abused kid”

Okay this is finally getting to the actual point.

So I wanna refer back to video number 5 up there on my references list again and I’m gonna go through that stream here:

- Ghostbur brings Phil over to meet Tommy

- Tommy is mad because Phil is friends with Techno

- Tommy gets distracted by Phil’s new clothes and the vision of Tubbo reappearing

- Phil gives Tommy a bunch of presents, including “Tommy Slippers“ (for the cold) and a friendship emerald from Techno. Tommy is excited about the slippers, somewhat apprehensive about the emerald until Phil assures him that it’s a gift from him to Tommy, not from Techno

- Tommy decides that Phil is his friend after all

- Dream shows up and acts all casual and friendly, Phil greets him politely but doesn’t interact much with Dream unless prompted to

- Tommy asks Phil and Ghostbur if they’re even real because he keeps seeing Tubbo

- Phil asks if Tommy has been drinking the sea water

- another vision of Tubbo, only Tommy and Ghostbur see him

- Ghostbur shows Phil around while Tommy tells Dream not to tell Phil about the beach party because it’s a surprise

- Tommy asks if the reason why Phil didn’t visit earlier was because there wasn’t a path and if the path made it easier for him and Phil says yes, because he didn’t actually know how to get there before

- More Tubbo hallucination shenanigans which I’m gonna cut out from now on, just assume that it keeps happening

- Phil tells Tommy not to drink the sea water, Tommy goes “I DID DRINK THE SEA WATER BECAUSE IT TOLD ME TO!“

- Tommy asks Phil (and also Fundy who showed up) to leave the VC so he can talk to Ghostbur and Dream alone (about the secret beach party plan)

- Tommy is happy about the fact that the path he made seems to be working and people are coming to visit him

- Dream notes that they aren’t even really hanging out with him so they might just be visiting Logsted, not him (which... Tommy literally asked them to leave them alone so they could plan, Dream is just blatantly trying to fuck with his head) and Tommy deflates and agrees that Dream is probably right

- Ghostbur invites Phil and Fundy to help decorate the beach (not telling them what for but it’s like super obvious that they’re planning a party) and they do

- all five of them work on the beach for a whole while and goof around until the end of the stream

So from Phil’s point of view Tommy is acting kind of cold towards him and doesn’t seem to particularly want him around (combined with the fact that he later doesn’t get an invite to the beach party that Tommy was obviously planning). Phil brought Tommy basic survival stuff and the slippers to keep him from getting cold, not knowing that all of that is going to get destroyed by Dream anyway. He seems a bit worried about the hallucinations but assumes it’s because Tommy’s been drinking sea water and tells him to stop doing that. He also notes that Tommy looks kind of rough but doesn’t push the issue.

Meanwhile Tommy is being manipulated by Dream into believing that Phil didn’t actually come to visit him, even as Phil is literally visiting him, with named gifts and everything. And he’s already doubting if Phil is even really present because he keeps seeing Tubbo who isn’t actually there so Phil could just as well be a hallucination too, or he could easily be convinced later that Phil was a hallucination.

Basically Phil sees that Tommy is having a hard time but there’s no obvious sign of anything being wrong besides him not taking very good care of himself and feeling lonely. Tommy says he hasn’t been sleeping and that he’s been drinking sea water (which is probably a joke but anyway). Him and Dream seem to be very friendly with each other, they even keep having all these secret chats that Tommy is telling Phil to leave for.

So.... assume this is your friend who you’ve recently had a bit of a falling out with. What kind of conclusions would you draw and what would you do? Honestly, yes, Tommy’s condition seems pretty worrying, but everything just points to him being lonely and depressed about being exiled, which isn’t really something Phil can easily fix other than just visit him more. But then Tommy gives really mixed signals about whether he actually wants Phil there or not (which is because he’s planning the party but Phil doesn’t know that) and then when Phil finds out about the party he doesn’t get an invite to it (because Dream stole the invites but, again, Phil doesn’t know this). So Phil just kinda has to decide whether to go there uninvited and presumably unwanted, or just vibe and wait to hear from Tommy. Meanwhile he has stuff to do with Techno who DID invite him to hang out.

Also Tommy seems to be doing better, he’s very excited about his beach, he’s excited about the fact that he’s getting more visitors (not just Phil but Fundy too) and he’s convinced that there will be more now that there’s a path. So as far as Phil is concerned, it seems like things are getting better and Tommy might end up doing okay after all, despite everything

As a sidenote also, Phil is a bit of a hermit, right? I feel like that’s fair to say about his character. He doesn’t mind hanging out with people but to him living alone in the wilderness isn’t a bad deal at all. Obviously he understands that Tommy is not like him and needs company but you can see how he might not see the situation as all that urgent. And you can argue about what Tommy’s canon age actually is but he’s been living independently and taking care of himself like an adult during his entire time on the server, this shouldn’t really be that different. Obviously the fact that he’s exiled is bad and upsetting for him but there’s nothing Phil can do about that either. He doesn’t have control over L’Manberg or Dream.

And I just wanna point out that all of this is exactly how abusive relationships work, right? Dream is deliberately distancing Tommy from everybody he knows and making him think that Dream is the only one who cares about him. And that shit can be really hard to pick up on. It might just seem like your friend is becoming kind of distant and has different friends now. And I’ll tell you, even if you DO see the signs, it’s really hard to decide when or how to intervene, or if you’re just paranoid about it.

It’s easy to say Phil should do this or that when you’re watching Tommy’s streams and KNOW what’s happening, but try to put yourself in Phil’s shoes for a second and actually think about what you’d do in a situation like this. Also please do so while assuming that Phil is a real person with his own life to live too.

You can say that he should have been more worried and more suspicious of Dream and gone to see Tommy anyway, that’s fair. But that’s a normal human mistake and also something pretty much everybody else should have done too by that logic. And Tommy was not being very receptive to help because he was being manipulated by Dream. Honestly this was probably something where Tommy needed to figure out for himself to break free. Which he did. (And speaking from a narrative perspective: that was the best possible ending to that arc. Tommy finding his own strength and willpower again, on his own.)

I’m gonna leave this here but I might reblog with more points (or make a new post). It does take ages to go through the vods, though, and I only made it up to December 9th so far.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Christmas One-Shots Masterlist

10x10, a hundred images of loving you (ao3) - silentOrator

Summary: Dan and Phil at Christmas through the years.

A Christmas Ring - forphansake

Summary: Phil decides to do a radio show by himself but only because he has a special present to give to Dan.

A Prince's Choice (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: Prince Phillip reconnects with an old friend at the royal family's annual Christmas party.

A Toast to Now (ao3) - melapplesphan

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, 2016, and Phil Lester's plane home for the holidays has been delayed due to snow. In a fit of boredom, he finds himself taking an uncharacteristic leap and striking up a conversation with "DanielH."

Meanwhile, Dan Howell can't quite believe that AmazingPhil - the same guy who ignored his messages 7 years ago - just started chatting with him on Grindr.

Air Hockey (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Christmas fic where neko!dan, who has a horrific past, faces his greatest challenge yet: meeting his fiancé’s family…

all i want for christmas (is you) (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: He finds himself huffing out a small, high-pitched laugh that he couldn’t even dream of passing off as part of his natural register. “Hah… yeah. Mhm. Nice. Morn… ing. Yup. Sure is.”

Dan’s smile falls a tiny bit, a hint of confusion flickering behind his eyes. Unfortunately, that’s an expression Phil is all too familiar with receiving.

AU where Dan is Phil's Christmas coworker crush, and awkward boys are awkward.

Christmas Coming Out (ao3) - FandomFeels17

Summary: He didn't intend to come out to his mum in his future mother in law's kitchen at Christmas... But here he was, doing exactly that.

Christmas Dinner - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil go to a Christmas party with other youtubers, and of course, Dan’s worried about who might be vlogging... but vlogging is the least of their worries when they get stuck under a mistletoe.

Christmas Lights - fiction-phan

Summary: “I live below you and I was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window when I saw a body fall. Are you really putting up Christmas lights right now?”

Christmas with You (ao3) - plinth_of_life

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first Christmas together as a couple, joining the Howell family for Christmas Eve in Wokingham.

close to me, you are all of me (ao3) - sunflowerwitches

Summary: a little insight to dan and phil's christmas day

december 14th: bundle up, baby (ao3) - watergator

Summary: dnp taking their little kid for the first time to the iom for christmas

there's nothing more exciting than a child's first christmas

Eskimo Kisses and Christmas Wishes (ao3) - philsdrill

Summary: Dan gets a nasty surprise when he at last comes out to his family just before Christmas. Alone and out in the cold, he makes the trip up to Manchester where he spends Christmas with Phil and his family. It’s a struggle for Dan, being in such a loving family environment when he has just been evicted from his own, but Phil does his best to look after Dan and cheer him up as best he can.

Feels Like Christmas - phanimist

Summary: dan's told to go out to get things at the store, despite the fact that it's christmas eve, and he's not all too happy about it until he runs into a cute stranger named phil.

home for the holidays (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil take a moment to themselves while hosting Dan’s family for Christmas.

Home is Where the Wifi Connects Automatically - oqua12

Summary: The wifi at Dan's parents' house is utter crap, which is definitely why he's always so miserable when he visits his family for Christmas. Because of the wifi. (Or at least, that's what he chooses to tell himself.)

I’d Like To Hang Out With You For My Whole Life - cafephan

Summary: In which Phil’s advent calendar is a daily treasure hunt, and Dan has planned everything to perfection.

if you want to be happy (in a million ways) (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: “You’re leaving me for an entire week, Phil? What am I supposed to do, just sit around and watch my socks dry?”

“Yes, Dan, you can come too.”

Or, Dan and Phil's first (real) Lester family Christmas.

Kindness (at the End) (ao3) - lovestillaround

Summary: A story about the Christmas Eve, a wooden chest left by Phil on the kitchen table, and a mission to get the key.

kitchen counter (ao3) - ordanary

Summary: Phil asks Dan to come up north with him for Christmas, some realizations are made in the kitchen, and now Nigel owes Kath twenty pounds.

maybe they're seeing something we don't, darling (ao3) - phantasizeit

Summary: When Phil invites Dan to the Lester family Christmas, Kath can only assume that they’ve have finally gotten together. Dan and Phil don’t realize Kath’s misunderstanding until it’s a little too late. But, how hard can it be to fake a relationship between them? (AKA: The fic where Dan and Phil are already dating, but have to be put in a fake relationship situation to realize it. Also, they do fluffy Christmas things with the Lesters.)

maybe this christmas (ao3) - blackbirddan

Summary: In all the years they've known each other, Dan and Phil have never been able to spend Christmas Day together. And it's looking like they still can't, even with how much things have changed this year. Unless...

a.k.a. Dan’s family spend Christmas in the Isle of Man.

Merry and Bright (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Dan and Phil host their first Christmas

One of kind (ao3) - winstonlives

Summary: Phil needs to do some last minute Christmas shopping, and Dan decides to join him. This one simple shopping excursion changes everything.

Our First Christmas (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Dan and Phil celebrate their first Christmas together as a married couple.

since i wrote you last (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan and his letters to Santa over the years

the long way home (ao3) - danthrusts

Summary: Dan’s Christmas Eve hasn’t quite been going as planned. His parents can’t make it home because they’re stuck in some foreign country, so he has to go up north to his grandparents’ house, all along while missing his girlfriend’s Christmas party extravaganza. Throw a train, two annoying girls, a small town diner, and a cute boy with pale skin and dark hair into the mix and he has himself the weirdest Christmas Eve he’s ever had.

through the years, we all will be together (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Martyn comes home for Christmas in 2009 and finally meets Dan, that guy his brother won’t shut up about. Ten years later, and it’s like Dan’s always been a part of the family.

Two of Martyn’s family Christmas celebrations, a decade apart.

What We Are to Each Other (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: So maybe they both suck at communication. Maybe Dan needs to talk to Phil about what they are to each other. And maybe Phil needs to sit his parents down and tell them that big, slightly scary thing about himself. But maybe it'll all work itself out, one way or another.

Winter Wishes - chocolatesaucelester

Summary: Christmas is without a doubt Phil’s favorite time of year, and he’s convinced there’s something purely magical about the season. His festive feelings are only amplified when a little bit of Christmas magic brings he and Dan a little closer.

Under the Mistletoe - dxnhowell

Summary: It's no secret that Dan and Phil hate each other, everybody knows it, including their own families. But now, It's the holiday's time, and a Christmas party is being thrown at the Lester's house, and of course... Dan's family has been invited. Dan's being forced to go, even though he clearly doesn't want to but his mother doesn't care. The night quickly changes when Dan and Phil get stuck under a mistletoe.

Yours, Absolutely, Positively (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: Like so many things in his new life, Dan was coming to understand that Phil was the only exception.

~Christmas 2009~