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asgardianthot · 4 years

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Hunting Season (sambucky) – Part 5

Series Masterlist

Warning: mention of abuse

Words: 2597

A/N: I know I sort of disappeared for a while lol school work has been insane and I’m just beginning to get used to the stress of being an art major, especially under these circumstances :/ All my free time I spent doing fanart tho so it feels like forever since I last wrote! Anyways, enjoy the following set of heavy declarations between these two loverbois because I loved writing this chapter!

Another note! In case it’s unclear, the flashback in the second half is what happened the night of the first chapter, when Sam invited Bucky over to help him with his financial problems and such, and he ended up getting drunk and being dragged to bed (when Sam asked if he said anything stupid, Bucky lied and said no)

When they reached their bedroom, Bucky let go of Sam’s grip, softly enough so that Sam would know he wasn’t tumbling from mere drunkenness. Even though he did tumble a bit on his way to the bed. Meanwhile, Sam closed the door and turned to aid his friend.

"I'm fine, Sam.” Bucky reassured him as he sat on the edge of the mattress, “Just wasted, 's all."

Sam, however, was determined to look after him, "Sit." He ordered.

James nodded with acceptance and took a breath, feeling the alcohol wash away and making room for sleepiness. Almost immediately, a knock was heard on the door, to which Sam checked to see if Bucky looked decent enough, in case they had to deal with any family members.

“Who is it?” Sam asked before opening.

He was relieved to hear a female voice which belonged to the maid, Nicole.

“I brought your coffee.” Her statement sounded more like a question.

Sam let go of the breath he was holding and received the platter, not without before thanking her with a kind smile. He waited until she had left to shut the door for good; the next person to come knocking would be met with them pretending to be asleep. Neither Sam nor Bucky were in the mood to withstand more judgement, but especially Sam wasn’t in the mood to deal with any other Barnes than the one in that room.

Sam offered the mug to Bucky, "You still want it?”

Yet the man made a grimace before rubbing his left eye, letting Sam know he was sleepy now and was in no need of sobering up through caffeine. It was better to just go to bed. When Sam put the mug away, James laid back on the bed with exhaustion. A few seconds later, he felt Sam’s hand taking off his shoes.

"Thanks." Bucky said in a hoarse, almost embarrassed tone.

Once Sam finished taking off the drunk man’s shoes off, he tossed them aside and sat on his butt, groaning with tiredness. What his eyes spoke to Bucky was uncertain, but there was a clear hint of disappointment. Sam didn’t mean to, but his entire body was rejecting the patience he tended to have for his buddy.

"What's got you so jumpy, dude?" Sam finally spat out what was in his preoccupied mind.

From the bed, Bucky looked down to the man on the floor and saw concern. Love. Someone who cared, and Bucky’s every fiber rejected the possibility of giving into it. He put up a big emotional wall between them and proceeded to fake disinterest. He scoffed, rubbed his sleepy eyes again and began looking up at the ceiling with nothingness dwelling in his eyes.

He shrugged and spoke as if it was nothing, "You know what's got me jumpy."

It had to do with Brock, obviously, and he didn’t feel like discussing the sensitivities of the past relationship right now. But Sam knew his friend and he knew he had never seen him react that defensive to anyone before. So aggressive, and excessively responsive. Sam wasn’t an idiot.

"No, I don't.” Sam replied sternly, “I know he's an asshole, and he's manipulative, and he's horrible, but I think there's more. And I really want you to tell me, if that's okay."

The way Sam phrased it, Bucky knew he already suspected the answer. There was no use hiding it, and he felt like lying about it would turn the whole situation into a bigger deal. There was no deceiving Samuel Wilson.

He bit the inside of his cheek, concealing his disgust, and replied in a monotone, "He kicked my ass, okay?"

Sam frowned, but his friend couldn’t see him.

"He what?"

Bucky sighed loudly. No matter how hard he tried to derail the subject, he knew he had to tell the details. He was finally giving in, and he hated it.

"I was... walking out that door for the last time, you know, he said he was tired of me leaving and coming back.” He turned his head to avoid facing his friend before continuing, “So he- whatever, he sort of... yanked my hair and stuff.”

The silence that followed gave room for Sam to believe there was more.

“Kicked me.” Bucky completed the details, then cleared his throat in an attempt to get rid of the knot in his throat, “Like I said, he kicked my ass."

"That's a big deal, Bucky,” Sam stated, his eyes big and apprehensive, and filled with an indiscernible mix of negative feelings, “that's abuse."

"So, it was. What'd you care?"

As much as Sam knew, deep down, that Bucky was speaking out of mere rejection of his own feelings, he couldn’t help but feel offended at the assumption that he could not worry about it.

"Because I care.” He raised his voice with disbelief, “God, of course I do, how couldn't I?"

He gained no response from James. In the midst of the horrific news, Sam had to remind himself of the fact that the man was still wasted, therefore he couldn’t ask too much of him. Sam wanted to know more, he wanted to have a real heart-to-heart, he wanted to go downstairs and smash a glass to Brock’s smug and damage his face permanently. Instead, he steadied himself, somehow. It took him a few long and difficult seconds to gather his calm, but he managed to do so.

He stood up and went to the bathroom to put on his pajamas. He seized the walk to throw Bucky his pajama pants, not too gently. The last thing he saw before shutting the bathroom door was Bucky’s inaccurate hand grabbing the item from the other side of the bed. When Sam came back from brushing his teeth, he saw Bucky in pajama bottoms and shirtless, passed out on his belly.

During the half hour to follow, Sam tried to catch some sleep, but his mind was elsewhere. More agonizingly long minutes passed, and all he could think about was that he would be too tired at the hunt the next day, which made him think of the Barnes and their guests, which made him think of Brock and how much he wanted to kill him for hurting Bucky.

Eventually, he heard choked noises coming from the man he was giving his back to, and later he realized that those noises were sobs. He turned and saw Bucky, curled up on himself, also giving Sam his back and trembling slightly as he failed to conceal his own crying.

"Buck." Sam called softly.

"I'm sorry.” He replied, his voice cracking, “I'm sorry for everything, for bringing you here, asking for money, fuck, I'm sorry for being your friend."

The final statement broke Sam’s heart even more than the sound of Bucky’s sobs. He placed one hand on the side of his torso, where his ribs contracted at the rhythm of his hectic breathing and attempted to calm him, mostly by telling him a comforting truth.

"Don't say that, man. I love you." He reminded his friend.

"You shouldn't.” James denied it, “God, I'm a mess, I drag everyone into my shit, and now I dragged you. You- you don't deserve this."

"Hey.” Sam interrupted, “You got some issues, doesn’t mean you're not a lost cause."

"No, but I am.” Bucky’s pitch dropped an octave, managing to express more sorrow and certainty than before, “Not even Brock fucking Rumlow could handle me, he said I was so-“ a hiccup cut his words short, “so damaged that... that not even he- he could stand me."

"He was manipulating you."

"I know, but he's right!” his own words surprised him, and they truly cut like knives, “I'm such a fucking-“

"Hey." Sam cut him off, hugging him from behind.

"I'm-"

"You're my best friend, remember?” He said sweetly, “You're a great guy. And I'm a great guy, so I know what I'm talking about."

Barnes shook his head, "No."

"Just let me hold you, dude."

At the sound of that, Bucky’s breathing calmed a little, realizing there was no convincing Sam of his own self-flagellating thoughts. Sam believed he was good, and perhaps, only perhaps, it gave Bucky a tiny bit of hope. He eventually loosened next to Sam’s embrace, and they accommodated themselves in a cuddle. Sam ran his thumb up and down Bucky’s naked shoulder, as a reminder that he was there.

"You're okay.” Sam whispered soothingly, “You're dealing with stuff. We'll manage."

We. Bucky couldn’t help but warm up at the thought of a ‘we’.

"Thank you.” Bucky croaked, then swallowed with difficulty, “For everything."

Silence and calm being insured, they slept like that, cuddling until morning came.

A few weeks ago. The night before.

“Okay, Professor Wilson, you got homework to grade tomorrow.” Bucky groaned humorously as he struggled to hold Sam’s weight on his feet.

The wine they had poured for themselves was long gone, but its disappearance was, at least, ninety percent Sam’s fault. While Bucky’s senses were untouched, even though he was the one whose life was falling apart because of his miserable living situation, Sam seized the opportunity to get absolutely wasted nonetheless, leaving the task of getting his ass to bed in Bucky’s hands.

While Bucky found his friend’s drunk state amusing, leading his tumbling body to the bedroom turned out to be harder than he thought. Sam’s entire weight relied on Bucky’s upper body strength, not to mention his resistance to being babied.

“N’a don’t.” Sam protested.

“Well, you’re drunk.” Bucky sighed.

Sam’s lips curled into a smile and he directed his wine-smelling breath directly towards Bucky’s face, almost taunting him, “Yes’am.” He slurred.

Bucky looked the other way with exasperation before bettering his grip on Sam’s unstable body, losing his patience.

“Come on, man, help me out.” He complained.

Finally, the two managed to cross the door to Sam’s bedroom, and being so close to dropping the dead weight on its bed, Bucky started realizing how tired his own arms were.

“You hittin’ the gym or something?” he mocked, almost out of breath, “Why do you weigh ten times more than the last time I did this?”

“Mmm-maybe I put on old man fat.” Sam said in a grumpy tone, “Like an old man.”

Barnes rolled his eyes while taking a breath to recover his physical strength, “You’re not an old man.”

As soon as he let Sam’s body fall dead on the mattress, Bucky sighed with contempt, yet went back to his babysitting task by leaning down, hovering over Sam’s face.

“Hey.” Bucky put on a stern, yet not serious voice as he pointed a finger at his friend, “I hope you remember this tomorrow, ‘cause I’m about to drop some knowledge, okay?”

Sam’s lost expression didn’t change though, “M’kay.” He mumbled.

“You’re not old.” James began, “You’re a youthful, incredibly handsome man, and any woman would be lucky to have you.”

The hyping words caused Wilson to snort amusingly.

“I bet all of your students drool over you but you’re too much of a good man to even notice.”

This time, they both laughed.

“I dunno…” Sam shook his head, his eyes not really focusing on anything.

“Say it with me. I’m hot.” Bucky demanded.

“’m hot.” The other repeated.

“I’m a catch.”

“I’m a catch!” He raised his voice with a deep, exaggerated tone, clearly concealing his laugh.

Bucky then squinted with amusement, “And I got a fine piece of ass.”

That got the last of Samuel, provoking him a loud chuckle that satisfied Bucky enough to decide his job as drunk-babysitter was completed.

“Alright, go to sleep, hot stuff.” He smiled and stood up straight.

Sam, however, stopped him before he could leave, “Wait. I got some knowledge, too.”

His words were difficult to pronounce, and even more when he struggled to sit. He gave up on trying and simply rested on a more upright position, supported by his forearms. Bucky watch him do his best effort and prepared for the drunk babbling that was certainly about to happen. He crossed his arms and was incapable of concealing his smile.

“Alright, go.” Bucky taunted him.

“You’ve always… been too good for him.”

At the sound of that, Bucky’s smile dropped. He wasn’t expecting a serious chat, and less one about Rumlow. He didn’t know what to respond, and so Samuel went on.

“He’s not even that great, he’s just… so good at lying, he-he made you think he was.” He declared, frowning like he was trying to understand the injustice, “And you-you tried to…I dunno, see the good in him. ‘cause you do that, you find the good in people.”

Sam’s gaze lingered, focused on Bucky’s expression, but it didn’t seem like the drunkenness allowed him to process the fact that Bucky was neither content nor comfortable with the conversation. After a few seconds of silence, Bucky spoke in a cold, partially upset tone.

“Why would I do that?” He asked out of genuine curiosity for Sam’s insight on the matter.

“’Cause you’re good!” The man replied with an instantly escalading smile, definitely not reading the room, but entirely confident in his own words, “You’re the goodest- no, that’s not…” He stopped himself by laughing at his own made up word, finally catching on how unintelligent he sounded.

“Alright.” James cut him off dryly, “Time for bed.”

But Sam was too invested in conveying his strong opinions to his friend, so he barely even heard him.

“His hair is dumb.” He continued naming Brock’s flaws, “And he’s the dumbest guy alive for treating you like that. ‘Cause you, you… God, if I…? If I had you-?”

Before he could stop stammering, Bucky raised his voice and interrupted him.

“Sam, go to sleep.”

Being too wasted to protest or even understand why Bucky was acting in such a way, Sam dropped his head down with exhaustion. He nodded in agreement of the fact that he should go to sleep, and plopped on the pillow behind him.

Sam was too far gone to consider the weight of his words. But even if he was sober, he would never know to what extent what he was about to say would hurt Bucky. Because Bucky had considered it before, years ago. He had thought, in his darkest days, that if only Sam liked men, if only Sam dared to look Bucky’s way like something more than a friend, perhaps Bucky could have had a shot at real love. He fantasized, long ago, that Sam’s love would be a breath of fresh air, that Sam could teach him what respect and real care could mean.

In his brightest days, however, before Brock, he had felt something beautiful. There were no selfish reasons, no wishful thinking, simply… something. Bucky had felt something beautiful towards his best friend, something that made him think perhaps he was capable of beautiful feelings, he was capable of loving selflessly. The problem was that if it ever came out into the light, and Sam found out, he wouldn’t reciprocate, and then Bucky would have risked everything. He decided, eventually, that Sam’s friendship was more important than his hope of becoming the kind of person who felt beautiful love.

That kind of confusion, Bucky hadn’t felt in years. Not since he shoved it all down his throat and pretended he had never even considered Sam as something other than just his best friend.

So, whatever Sam was about to say right there, Bucky refused to hear the end of that sentence.

#sambucky #sambucky fanfiction #sambucky fluff #angst #fake dating au #sam wilson x bucky barnes #sam wilson/bucky barnes #sam/bucky #Sam x Bucky #tfatws #marvel fanfiction #sambucky fanfic

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caranfindel · 5 years

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Recap/review 15.12: “Galaxy Brain”

Oh, my friends, so many things have happened since we last got together. Most of them bad. But let’s try to forget them and immerse ourselves in our favorite show again, shall we?

THEN: Sammy lost hope (Saaaaaaammmmmm!!!!), Chuck needs to visit his other worlds, and oh. Crap. Kaia. Claire’s wooden response to Kaia’s death, Dark Kaia’s stupid dramatic poses… ugh. I’m not here for any of this. And also, Jack has to do exactly what Billie says if he wants to kill God.

NOW: Four weeks ago. Earth 2. Apparently Radio Shack Shed is still in business in this other world. Maybe because Hillary Clinton is the president. Oh, but things are going to go downhill for Radio Shed, because Chuck just walked in.

I take it you’re unsatisfied with your viewing experience at home?

You have no idea.

Hee!

The friendly Radio Shed employee tries to interest Chuck in his giant wall o’televisions, but he’s not here for a TV. What is he here for? “An audience. It’s monologue time.” Each of the TVs begins to show scenes from one of Chuck’s worlds, including the interior of the bunker in our world, as he begins his monologue. As we watch Sam’s visions from the other worlds, Chuck complains that he created his one world, created copies, and should be happy. Because he’s gotten what he wants from hundreds of Sams and Deans, and could get more. But the other worlds don’t spark joy like the original Sam and Dean do. “They challenge me. They disappoint me. They surprise me. They’re the ones.” Chuck doesn’t need more. He suddenly realizes he needs less. It’s time to cancel “all the other worlds, the alternate realities, the subplots, the failed spinoffs.” YES, CHUCK, ESPECIALLY THE FAILED SPINOFFS.

Title card!

Sioux Falls. Our version. Jody is examining a dead cow. Alex calls, wanting to know when she’ll be home to eat vegan lasagna. Which sounds nasty. I’ve got nothing against vegan cuisine, but I think taking a dish that’s supposed to be loaded with cheese, and loading it with not-cheese, is a mistake. Just make spaghetti. Jody says she thinks her dead cow is evidence of humans, not monsters. She sees something suspicious in a barn and heads inside, where she is promptly clobbered.

Bunker. Sam’s wearing that orange plaid shirt that fits him just right, although the collar is higher than I’d like, and we’ve discussed my feelings on orange. Whatever TFW is talking about, he doesn’t like it. “Which part?” Dean asks. “Jack’s deal with Death, or the part where she’s got him eating angel hearts?” Yeah, there’s a lot to dislike there. Sam doesn’t think they should trust Billie, and he’s concerned about Jack’s state of mind, considering that he is still soulless, and was in the Empty for months. And I’m sure this was not intentional on the writers’ part, but I like the way this played out. When they first saw Jack, Sam was the one who immediately reached out, because his boy was back, and it wasn’t until later that he thought oh, things might be fucked up. Dean, on the other hand, immediately had his guard up, and took a moment before he decided it was okay and accepted Jack. This feels true to the characters and I like it. But as I said, I’m sure it’s an accident.

For his part, Jack is wandering the dark rooms of the bunker. He comes across the initials scratched into the table and touches Mary’s, then retreats to his room. Where a strange woman suddenly appears behind him and says she’s answering Jack’s silent prayer to Death, who is busy at the moment.

Meanwhile, Cas says he has some concerns, but Jack trusts Billie and he trusts Jack. And that makes sense. Jack is, what, two years old now? So of course he’s learned who is trustworthy. It’s not like he ever trusted Lucifer or anything like that. Sam reminds them of the required cosmic balance, what with Amara needing to be cancelled out by God. Dean says, having spent time with Billie and visited her library, that he believes in her and her commitment to the rules. He thinks she’s probably got it all figured out.

“Probably?” Sam says. “Like she had the Ma’lak box figured out?” Well, there’s an interesting point. Billie was sure there was only one road that didn’t end in chaotic destruction, and she was wrong. {Or she was lying. Discuss.} But Dean’s still willing to put his faith in her. After all, she was right about Rowena. And it’s the only plan they’ve got, which Sam reluctantly agrees with. Well, he doesn’t agree as much as he just stops arguing.

Skeptical Sam!

Jack is telling his visitor about how he called out to Billie for help with the Grigori, but she didn’t respond. The visitor must be a reaper. She’s a pleasant change from other reapers – a middle-aged woman with gorgeous silver hair and a matronly outfit. She assures Jack that Billie must have known everything would turn out okay, or else she would have stepped in. All Jack has to do is follow Billie’s rules – lie low, wait for instructions, and don’t use your powers under any circumstances, because God might find you. Oooh, what could possibly happen now? Whose life will be in jeopardy, forcing Jack to use his powers?

Approaching Jack’s room, Sam hears him talking to the reaper. Sam knocks on the door and then opens it, which is not cool. {Sidebar: A knock is supposed to say “can I come in,” not “here I come.” You should wait for permission to open the door.} Anyway. When Sam enters, the reaper is gone. Jack claims he was talking to “no one,” and Sam lets that pass. He tells Jack he’s just checking in on him, and stumbles a bit when trying to express how glad they are to have him back. He tells Jack that he could have come to them, even though I’m pretty sure Jack said he couldn’t because he was hiding from God, but that was so long ago that I’ve forgotten. But let’s concentrate on the important part of this conversation. Sam’s face.

He’s awkward and endearing and I adore him.

Dean and Cas are sharing a decanter of whiskey now that Sam’s finally out of their hair. {waves to the Destiel shippers.} Cas explains that he was sure Jack would save the world somehow, and he was “lost” when Jack “died” because he knew Jack’s story couldn’t be done yet. And now, he is absolutely sure that he was right all along. “Here’s to being right,” Dean offers as a toast. He’s also excited about the idea of revenge against Chuck, though Cas says he’s only interested in “Jack fulfilling his destiny.”

Can we just have several minutes of Dean drinking whiskey? Please?

But before Dean can spend a lot of time basking in his anticipated revenge, his phone rings. It’s Jody. Someone’s holding a phone up to her face, so she must be tied up. “Dean, I’m in trouble. Route 11, Fletcher Farm, the old barn. If you don’t come, I’m dead.” Yeah, looks like trouble, all right.

Fletcher Farm. The Impala pulls up next to Jody’s Sheriffmobile. (Aw, typing that makes me miss the Pimpmobile.) It’s just Sam and Dean, though Sam is on the phone with someone when they arrive.

Hello, gorgeous.

The guys find Jody tied up, as predicted, inside the old Fletcher barn. Sam starts to untie her, as Dean conveniently looks the other way and therefore completely misses someone attacking Sam. You will probably not be surprised to hear that this someone is Dark Kaia. She dispatches Sam easily, as people always do when it’s convenient for plot reasons, and gets Dean by the throat. “You have something that belongs to me,” she says. Which, as we know from the Then, is her magic spear. That got broken. Oops. Dean doesn’t care that he promised her he’d get her back to her own world, or that he promised to return the spear, because “that promise expired the minute you hurt our friend.” Although, Dean, you were conveniently ignoring that promise long before Jody got involved, but okay. Luckily, Jody is able to sneak up behind Dark Kaia and hit her with something, allowing Dean and Sam to pull their guns. Yay! {Sidebar: I love Jody, y’all, but that doesn’t mean I want her being the badass instead of Sam.} Sam asks Dark Kaia why she’s so desperate to get back to “that hellhole,” because apparently Sam doesn’t get that your home is your home, even if it’s a hellhole, which makes perfect sense, she said sarcastically.

It turns out the awful orange jacket doesn’t actually match the orange plaid shirt all that well.

Dark Kaia explains that her world is dying, and she knows this because she’s psychically connected to Kaia 1.0. Who is still alive, somehow. Jody feels awful, but Sam and Dean are the ones who didn’t even bother to haul her carcass back through the rift, so. {Sidebar: Coincidentally, I just watched “Defending Your Life.” I wonder if Dean’s feelings of guilt have changed since that episode?}

Bunker. Jack is beating Cas at Connect Four when they hear the creaky door open. {Sidebar: The Husband winces every time he hears the Impala’s squeaky doors. Do the Winchesters not know what WD-40 is?} Sam comes downstairs with Jody, and we have this weird conversation.

Jody!

Hey, Jack, Cas.

Nice to finally meet you in person.

Have Jody and Cas really never met? And if not, why did she casually greet him with “hey, Cas?” Weird. Carrying on. Dean appears with Dark Kaia, who also greets Jack, because I guess she knows him from Kaia 1.0’s dreams or whatever.

Time jump. Cas insists Jack can’t help Dark Kaia, and the guys are like, no shit. But they still want to rescue Kaia 1.0 somehow, so they send Jody into the depths of the bunker to look for something they might not have thought of that can help them jump worlds. Let’s just think about that for a minute. These two, experts in hunting and lore, residents of the bunker for the past 7 years and at least one of them a cataloguer of its contents, who spent a huge part of previous seasons trying to break into a different world and scouring the bunker for anything that would help, think Jody will find something they didn’t?

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Cas says he’s going to call Sergei to see if he has any more archangel grace. Sergei? Sergei who almost killed Sam recently, and had to be threatened with death to fix what he’d done?

Oh, seriously, for fuck’s sake.

Carrying on. Cas wants archangel grace because, other than Jack, it’s the only thing that’s opened a rift before. And Sam agrees, because both Sam and Cas have forgotten that an angel’s vessel retains some grace which can be extracted after the angel is gone.

Come on, guys. I’m trying, but you’ve got to meet me halfway. And this isn’t even a Buckleming episode.

Shhh. Concentrate on the pretty.

Dark Kaia yells that they’re wasting time, and Jack is right there and could get them to her world right now. “Hey, Not Kaia?” Dean says. “Not helping.” Hee! Jack decides he’ll do research instead, and then they have to decide what they’ll do with Dark Kaia. Jody says “She killed a prize heifer just to get my attention, then she jumped me, beat me up, and threatened to kill me. Do I get a vote?” Oooh, I like Dark Jody.

But the worst thing that happens to Dark Kaia is that they handcuff her to a table and force her to read a fashion magazine. She pretends she’s not interested, hurling it across the table, but sweetie, you’re not fooling anyone. I’m looking at your hair and makeup right now and I can tell you’re into it.

{Sidebar: Is this model supposed to remind her of Claire? Is that why she got upset, because she feels Kaia 1.0’s love for Claire? Discuss.}

Jack throws himself into the research and finds an old Italian spell that requires the liver of a monster which is, unfortunately, extinct because John Winchester killed the last one. Awkward. Dean suggests Jack check on Cas and Jody, and Jack does the oh, because I’m a failure look. The guys are sure they won’t find anything, but to me, the possibility of one spell that requires a monster’s liver implies that other spells might be possible. I mean, how special could that one monster be? Unless it was an archangel monster. Sam suggests he might be able to jerry-rig some magic using a substitute, and oh, guys, once again I’m sure this was accidental, but I love Sam being able and willing to do magic. Love it so hard. Unfortunately, he abandons this idea, since no substitutes are available.

In another part of the bunker, Cas is leaving fruitless messages with Sergei, who presumably remembers the last episode he was in better than Cas does. And Jody’s not having any luck identifying what she finds. They have a little chat about Claire, who is out of cell phone range (which means she won’t show up in this episode, thank you baby Jesus). Jody doesn’t want to involve her anyway, because she loved Kaia so freaking much after knowing her for, what, a day, and if they’re not able to rescue her, Claire would just be crushed.

I don’t know how we’ll be able to tell, since this is Claire’s crushed-by-the-loss-of-her-true-love face. And it’s also her Alex-borrowed-my-sweater-without-asking face. And her Patience-ate-all-the-Cheetos face.

Uh oh! Jack was listening! What will that do to him? He goes to see Dark Kaia and apologizes for not being able to do more. Dark Kaia blames him for Kaia 1.0 crossing over, and reminds him again that she’s going to die soon. Oddly, she doesn’t try this guilt trip on Dean, who pointed a gun at Kaia 1.0 and forced her into the car, as we saw in the Then. Dark Kaia says she crossed over into our world because she envied Kaia 1.0’s peaceful world, but it turns out she hates it, and desperately wants to go back to her own world. She grabs Jack’s hands and begs him to fix it. Jack touches her face, like he did when he was showing the Winchesters where Mary was being held in AU World, and sees Kaia 1.0 in the Bad Place. She’s got a shelter and a campfire and a lizard in a cage, so I guess things could be worse.

He goes to Sam and Dean and tells them he saw Kaia 1.0 and is going to save her. He confesses to dreamwalking, which is against Billie’s rules, but he insists it’s the right thing to do. “You’ve gotta be kidding me” says a voice from the shadows. Jack introduces Merle, his silver-haired reaper. “How did you get in here?” Dean asks, because he’s forgotten how reapers work, I guess.

(Checks again to make sure this isn’t a Buckleming episode.)

Merle says being willing to risk everything for one person isn’t just dumb, “that’s Winchester dumb.” Dean is offended but, well. She ain’t wrong. Merle says if Jack tries to use his power to save Kaia 1.0, she’ll tell Death. Jack says she should go tell Billie, but while she does that, he’ll open a rift, and therefore Merle will be in big trouble. And I kind of had the impression that reapers didn’t have to, you know, physically go find Billie to tell her anything, but maybe I’m the one who forgot how reapers work.

{Spoiler alert: I don’t think I am.}

Anyway, Jack’s threats work. Merle agrees to fix the bunker’s cosmic warding, which the Winchesters did not completely repair after Amara destroyed it. It can’t be restored permanently, but she can put up a temporary fix that will hopefully hide Jack from Chuck. And she’ll need to use Cas to juice it up. Oh, so many possibilities for disaster here. Later, Sam performs a spell and we see glowing sigils appear on the walls, which is a nice effect.

Sam reading the spell is also a nice effect.

Another time jump. The guys are packing for their journey. Dean asks how Sam feels about it, and Sam says “Honestly? It feels like we’re taking a big, probably stupid risk. It feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the dumb right thing. Feels like we’re back.” Aw yes. My boys, doing the dumb right thing.

Jody thanks Cas for staying, and he asks her to stay too. Because he’s concerned that if she gets killed, Claire will never get over it. Jody agrees that he’s right. And I’m pretty sure this is going to be important somehow; that something awful will happen because Jody isn’t there, or Jody staying behind will mean she’s able to save the guys somehow. {Spoiler alert: I’m wrong.}

Oddly enough, Jody doesn’t seem to actually tell the Winchesters she’s not going. I guess it happened off camera. Merle and Cas power up the sigils, Jack does his thing, and the rift opens. Dark Kaia goes through first, followed by Sam and Dean.

Bad Place! It’s dark and windy and there are lots of those weird little red-eyed dudes around, but they don’t attack. Dark Kaia says they’re afraid of the oncoming storm. {Sidebar: What evolutionary purpose is solved by glowing eyes? It seems like a hindrance.} They yell for Kaia 1.0, and she comes out to meet them, grabbing Dean for a hug. {Sidebar: Yeah, of course it’s Dean.} They turn to leave and wait, you’re just going to leave your lizard? He’s in a cage! He’ll starve! Dark Kaia doesn’t follow, and says she’s going to stay. Sam reminds her she’ll die, but she doesn’t care. She can’t live in our world. Which, well. It sucks sometimes. No judgment here, kiddo. And I guess she can take care of Kaia 1.0’s lizard. The Winchesters head back to the rift with Kaia 1.0 just as the lightning picks up and a huge cloud of destruction approaches. Oh. I guess that lizard didn’t need anyone to take care of him after all. Bye bye, Bad Place!

Bunker. Jody is sitting in front of the rift when the boys burst through with Kaia 1.0. Big hug! Later, we see Kaia (I’m gonna just call her Kaia now, since I think she’s the only one left) wearing Jack’s clothes. It’s cute. Jody invites her to move back with her. “Will Claire be there?” Kaia asks, because, you know, the love story for the ages, blah blah blah. Kaia thanks the guys, and leaves with Jody. Yay! Job well done, right? Except there’s a little too much time left in this episode for a happy wrap-up, so.

Merle tells the guys that if she gave a rat’s ass about Kaia, she’d call this a victory. But she’s pretty sure their scheme worked, since none of them are dead and oh crap, she’s impaled by a scythe. Guess again, Merle!

So, yeah, Billie’s here and she’s not happy. She lectures everyone and points out that one life isn’t important, because all the worlds are dying. All of them except this one. Sam angrily asks Billie what her plan is. She tells them everyone has a death book in her library, even God. God didn’t plot his own death, but “the books wrote themselves,” so Chuck’s death is in there, pre-plotted. But no one gets to read their own book unless Billie lets them. Jack is in Chuck’s book, and so are the Winchesters. “This is your destiny. You are the messengers of God’s destruction.”

Back at the Radio Shed, Chuck is watching his worlds self-destruct on the bank of TVs. He’s been there a while, judging by the number of takeout containers. The sales clerk is curled up on the floor, having served him “for weeks.” He asks Chuck if he’ll be spared, and Chuck says “You’ll be fine. Everything’s just fine.” Then he walks out of the store just as the sky fills with falling meteorites. Hey, I think that was a lie!

So. Several annoying things happened (yes, we know, because you wouldn’t shut up about them) but I can’t call this a bad episode. But I can’t call it a really good one, either. As mytharc episodes go, I guess it could be worse. What did you think? (And what does the title mean?)

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

#spn #15.12 #recap #tv recaps

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shirtlesssammy · 6 years

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14x08: Byzantium

Then:

Jack’s all better, guys.

Oh, wait..

Now:

Our nougat boy is dying, guys. Dean “Free Will” Winchester is beside himself--for not being able to help his son and because he can’t seem to stop the inevitable. As Jack lies coughing his last coughs, Dean leaves, unable to handle it anymore. Once in the hallway he looks up (like, was he even humoring the idea of asking for help? In any event, Chuck ain’t listening, but Cas comes to his side.)

Sam stays by Jack’s side. Jack tells Sam to assure Dean that it’s ok. Then he asks what will happen next “for someone like me.”

As many times as Sam has died, and as many realms that Sam has explored, he doesn’t know. “Then it’s gonna be an adventure.” Well, the ugly sobbing for this episode started way too early for my taste.

In the hallway, Dean turns from Cas when he comes up to him. Dean just can’t process what’s happening.

For Concerned and Slightly Irritated Husband Science:

Cas makes it clear to Dean that Jack needs him by his side. They head back into Jack’s room. Sam informs them that he passed. AND WHAT? I was fully prepared for Jack to die, but right away?! Gah.

Sam, Dean, and Cas plan Jack’s funeral (pyre, hunter style).

Sam leaves the hallway conversation, and Dean lets him.

Dean reaches out to Mary, letting her know that Jack died. It kind of breaks my heart that Dean reaches out to his mother at this time. I really like Mary, but she is not the nurturing type, and yet Dean still tries to get some kind of motherly comfort from her, and I HURT.

Cas watches Sam take off, only to have Dean ask him where he is. Uh, oops?

Together, they take off in Cas’s (new?) truck to track down Sam. (This was glorious, by the way. Cas has never driven Dean anywhere before.)

They find Sam slumped against the Impala and Dean and every audience member ever scream, “Tell me you didn’t make a deal!” That’s what it looked like, but no, Sam was just taking out his frustration and sadness in the form of misguided tree chopping. So, in the dark of night, the brothers and Cas try to process their grief. Tomorrow they will say goodbye to Jack, but tonight Dean suggests they get loaded.

What follows is a glorious, fourth-wall breaking montage that is just a wonderful moment to witness for Team Free Will. This show is always so good at giving us a little happy with heaps and heaps of sad.

I love Cas drinking from the bottle vs Sam and Dean’s glasses. And Dean’s unanswered “We did everything we could, right?” is just beautiful.

Jack’s Good Place is traveling to Dodge City with Sam, Dean, and Cas. ALL THE HEARTS. Dean flickers in and out and the sun dims. Jack realizes that this place isn’t real and finds his way to the white hallways of Heaven. As he’s walking, a black goo rushes for him. He runs.

The next morning, Dean awakens to a knock-out hangover, and the voices of Sam, Cas, and Lily Sunder in the war room.

(Sidenote: The actress playing Lily has been steadily acting since the 1950s! I recognized her from the X-Files but she’s been in everything! Amazing.)

She’s older (as Dean so tactfully points out), having given up magic. Sam called her for help on Jack. Dean also points out that she tried to kill Cas. (Lol, I imagine Dean has an Arya Stark list of people who’ve wronged Cas. He’s just biding his time to cross off some names.) Sam wants Lily’s help with the angel tablet. She’s not a prophet, but she knows a lot about angels. She can’t read the tablet translations, but she does have another idea: use her magic and a part of Jack’s soul to bring him back. She just wants to get into heaven in return. Easy Peasy.

Team Free Will discuss. Sam’s “I know how important a soul is. Believe me, I do” punched me in the gut a little. He’s all for saving Jack though. They need to figure out how to get Lily into heaven before trying this little plan. Time to summon Anubis, Guardian of the Dead.

Meanwhile, in heaven, Jack finds his mom. Blarf, bringing back Kelly and having them meet just hurts so much. Kelly’s realization that Jack is dead is SO HARD TO WATCH.

Dean is still not on the Lily Sunder Plan Train, but his argument with Sam is interrupted when Cas comes in to tell them that Heaven is in trouble. All of Heaven’s gates are open. Cas heads to Heaven.

Dean continues to be the cantankerous worrier of the trio, complaining about the plan to resurrect Jack while he and Sam prepare the bunker for the ritual. Dean's seen way too many bad resurrection side-effects, man. But it's okay, because Cas is back!

Only...Cas reports that angel radio is just a distress signal on repeat, and all of Heaven's gates are wide open – including the ones closed by Metatron. Iiiiinteresting. Dean and Sam let him go. Cas will head up to Heaven and they'll pray to him when the ritual is ready. What could go wrong?

So Dean apologizes to Lily, but he does a “Dean” apology which tends to be half accusatory. He wants to know why Lily's using the Enochian magic again if she quit doing it. She tells Dean that if she preserves a piece of her soul, that she might make it into Heaven and finally see her daughter again.

Up in Heaven, Cas finds puddles of black goo and two apparently dead angels.

Dumah wakes up in a gasp, and asks Castiel why he's isn’t on Earth. (A question which will be important later.) He's there to find Jack. Dumah begs to go with him, and they head off to Jack's heaven together. Jack's adorable paradise is empty. Oh WAIT Naomi is there. She tells them that Jack is gone – perhaps the “angel side” of him knew how to get out. Naomi informs them about the nature of the goo. It's the Shadow from the Empty, and he wants Jack because of his half-angel nature. (Side note: also Cas is the only one to ever escape. Good job, bby!) Naomi encourages Dumah and Cas to give Jack over to the Empty. Jack's soul can't possibly be worth more than the safety of all the other millions and billions of souls in Heaven.

Cas refuses to help her, and Naomi gets enveloped by black goo. She urges him to run.

Downstairs, the Winchesters and Lily summon Anubis. Dean's a little salty, given the number of times he died and, oh yeah, went to Hell that one time. “Pushing pencils, damning souls,” Dean summarizes about Anubis's work. Anubis laughs (it's my personal headcanon that he rather likes salty Dean). Lily asks Anubis to tell her where she's going after she dies and Anubis glances at the Winchesters and accedes. He pulls out an abacus, which begins to calculate Lily's worth. The chips fall and show that she's headed to Hell.

Dean and Sam threaten Anubis with a trap of palm oil which they “just happened to have laying around.” Our headcanon: Dean bakes, okay? Anubis tells them that neither he nor God have the power to shove somebody upstairs or downstairs – the human decides where they go based on their choices. If they keep him there or try to kill him, they can't save Lily (but they might damn themselves). It's a compelling argument, and Anubis goes free.

Cas tracks down Jack in Kelly's heaven. They share an emotional reunion. (Boris: Crying noise. Crying noise.)

Cas apologizes to Kelly for failing her, but she tells him that he raised Jack well. Jack learns about their resurrection plan and how they'll just use a leeeeetle tiny piece of Jack's soul for it. Kelly's concerned about this plan, but the Empty's attack has added new urgency to the resurrection plan. If Jack's alive, the Empty can't claim him.

Dumah slinks in from the back of the house and turns out to be – Old Man Smithers from the abandoned carnival! J/K, friends. Dumah is now the Empty. Well, fuck.

In the bunker, Lily packs her bags to leave. If there's no hope for her, then the deal's off. Sam shouts after her, telling her that they're trying to save their kid. And she should really empathize with that. Dean skips past empathy and goes straight to accusing Lily of being essentially a monster. To him, her chopped up soul and willingness to leave them in the lurch is ample evidence of that fact.

The Empty is ready to take Jack. Kelly's ready to cut a bitch.

Erica Cerra as the Shadow does an amazing job of showing a completely cracked up facade, reveling in the pain that the Shadow brings her denizens. She tosses Cas across the room...

In the bunker, Dean's aggressive guilt trip has convinced Lily to help them after all. She reflects on the photo of her daughter, and then they begin the ritual. They pray to Cas, who is still mid-fight with the Empty.

It's go-time, and the Shadow has hold of Jack, so Cas offers himself. “Take me in his stead,” he demands. CAAAAAAS! “I'm the one you want. I'm the one who woke you up,” he tells her. The Shadow turns on Cas, enticed by the offer. Cas sweetens the pot. He's destined for the Empty when he dies, yes. But it might be years or aeons until that happens again. OR the Empty could have him now and without a fight.

We...had many emotions about this.

For Science (and get your minds out of the gutter) (Boris: Imma stay in the gutter, please and thank you):

Cas closes his eyes for the blow (get your MINDS out of the GUTTER) but the Shadow wants him to “suffer.” The Shadow will claim Cas when he finally gives himself “permission to be happy.” Daaaaaamn.

We...had MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS.

Cas agrees and the Shadow fucks off, leaving Dumah alive after it's departure. (Phew) Cas explains to Jack why he made his choice. He loves Jack, and so do Sam and Dean. They're working right now to bring him back to life.

Cas asks Jack not to tell the Winchesters what he did. “I don't want them to worry,” Cas tells him, and Jack promises not to tell them, THEREBY COMPOUNDING OUR PAIN.

Jack and Kelly say goodbye – Kelly telling him to have a wonderful life and she'll see him when he comes back to Heaven. Cas sends Jack's soul back to his body.

In the bunker, Jack wakes up. Sam gets him to read the rest of the spell and as he reads it, Lily looks weak and walks away to sit in a chair. Life returns to Jack completely. He seems whole and healthy and all it cost was...

Dean thanks Lily for her help, then realizes just how much she helped them when he finds her dead in the chair. She used the last shred of her soul to save Jack, rather than cut into Jack's soul.

Lily finds herself in Anubis's office. He pulls out his abacus.

(Guys, look at his office, I love him!)

The calculations progress and show that Lily's moved the balance of her fate. “Did you know what doing the spell would cost you?” She totally did. <3 I love Lily.

“Say hello to your daughter for me,” Anubis tells her with a gentle smile.

Cas makes his way out of Jack's heaven, his memories clearly wiped by now. Confused, he's met with Naomi who thanks him for saving Heaven.

Naomi gives him a reward for his help – Michael's location. Cas returns to Earth victorious! I guess.

TFW 2.0 share emotional burgers now that Jack's resurrected. Jack's wrapped in Dean's robe. They're all happy. I'm...it's...this is all very, very good and touching.

We end the episode on a hopeful note, ready to find Kaia, tackle Michael, and WIN. Go, team! Nothing can hurt us now. NOTHING.

Natasha: Man, I loved this episode. I’m so excited to see how this bears fruit later on!

Boris: This episode! This. Episode. I just watched All Hell Breaks Loose (and Dean’s demon deal), and I’m just amazed how one episode is able to juggle 14 years of story threads while introducing really intriguing new story potentials. And we got a seriously good amount of TFW. Yep.

Everything’s fine and nothing quotes:

Everything we've got – the spells, the lore, what good is any of it if we couldn't even save him?

Old school! A real map. Let's find our way to Dodge City!

When God left – sorry, long story – we needed a new judge and Anubis was the obvious choice

I don't like rolling the dice on the word of a psycho ex-angel-killer

Why risk going to Hell if you don't have to?

Where I'm taking you is worse than Hell, because at least Hell is something

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn spoilers #spn 14x08 #byzantium #spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #kelly kline #lily sunder #naomi #dumah #the empty #supernatural season 14

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hekate1308 · 7 years

Text

The Baggage We Carry, Chapter Nine

“Ah, just like the old days. You, me, and a disdain for the world at large”.

Dean rolled his eyes but accepted the cigarette Crowley handed him.

“Thought you were quitting”.

“It’s my first and only one this week, Squirrel”.

They were skipping geography, ostensibly against Cas’ wishes, but all in all their friend hadn’t seemed to upset.

He never missed a class, of course; meanwhile, Crowley’s attendance had steadfastly increased, although he insisted on keeping it “just under half” of their weekly lessons because he had “a reputation to uphold”.

Dean wasn’t sure whether he should mention the pictures or not. Technically, he had been snooping, and it really was none of his business what Crowley did in his room.

And quite frankly he was glad there was anything in this house that felt personal.

“Say, did your mother use an interior decorator?”

“Of course”.

“Thought so.”

He was silent.

“It’s alright, I hate it too”.

“Hey, only one and a half years to go”.

Crowley grinned.

“Can’t wait to get out of here”.

“You don’t even know what you’ll study yet”.

“I’m sure I’ll find something... whatever it will be, I doubt it’s going to be difficult.”

Dean snorted.

“For you, maybe”.

“Of course for me. As you well know, I don’t care for others”.

Again, he could have mentioned the pictures, but chose not to.

“On another topic, when are you going to ask choir boy out on a date?”

It was a bad time to inhale smoke.

He coughed for five minutes until he managed to say, “What?”

“Please. It’s obvious. Even your brother has noticed, and if I didn’t think your parents are as observant as a block of granite, I’d think they must have realized it too”.

“There’s nothing to realize”.

“Who are you trying to fool here?”

“Myself, I think” he admitted. “But even if – no. Cas would never...”

“Do you have eyes? Functioning ones? That guy is so gone on you, it’s not even funny. Didn’t you realize how jealous he was of me in the beginning?”

Dean could have sworn they’d got along quite well immediately.

“What do you mean, jealous?”

“All that squinting and tilting his head? He could tell, you know. Our little arrangement...”

“How is he supposed to – “

“God, you’re helpless. Why are we friends again?”

“You’re the one framing pictures of us!”

Now he had mentioned them after all.

“Yes I am” Crowley replied carelessly. “Doesn’t mean I can’t annoy you when I want”.

Dean sighed.

“If I’d known I signed up for another little brother – “

“I’m older than you”.

“By how much anyway? You won’t even tell me when your birthday is”.

“You wouldn’t celebrate the day either if your mother routinely just that date to drown a bottle of scotch and tell you how much she regrets the orgy you were conceived at”.

“Man, she’s a piece of work”.

He knew better than to react in any other way. Crowley didn’t want his pity.

“You have no idea. Used to fantasize how to get rid of her when I was younger. Now I just want to leave”.

Dear God, Dean thought, I think I might have saved the world from a future serial killer.

“Good for you, I don’t think they’d like a murder on a college application resume”.

“With all that back stabbing going on, they should.”

Yes, it somehow felt exactly like old times and yet it didn’t.

Because Dean had finally stopped feeling guilty about his best friend.

Cas shook his head at him when he resurfaced in their next class.

“I thought you were going to concentrate on your education”.

“You know how it is, I can’t neglect Crowley. He’d just get bad ideas”.

“Lisa was right” Cassie suddenly interjected, “You sound like a couple talking about their teenage son who’s going through a phase.”

“Crowley isn’t going through anything, I’m pretty sure he was born that way.”

Yeah, his life was definitely looking up, even with all the school work he had to do.

Especially because today, Cas nervously invited Crowley and him over for the afternoon.

“Are you sure that’s wise, angel boy? You come from a pretty saintly family, and...”

“Trust me” Cas interrupted him, resigned. “They won’t even notice who you are”.

Dean couldn’t imagine there was anyone in the world less likely to be overlooked than Cas, and he was rather curious what his parents and siblings were like, after everything he’d heard.

Their house was smaller than Crowley’s or Dean’s, but that didn’t really surprise him. There had to be a reason Cas liked to be outside so much he even made them go to the park when it rained.

“They probably won’t notice I’ve come home, but in case... They can be rather intense, guys”.

“Have you met me, Feathers?”

Crowley’s fascination with Cas’ name would never fail to amuse Dean.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine” he said, even though his throat was dry and he would have liked to hold Cas’ hand.

You’re not meeting your boyfriend’s family, for crying out loud. You’re just friends. Suck it up and be nice. They can’t be that bad, certainly.

He learned that they indeed could as soon as Cas opened the door.

“YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT FATHER TELLS YOU, HOW PATHETIC ARE YOU – “

“I AM JUST A DUTIFUL SON, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL BY COMPARING US – “

“And I thought Mother could get loud if she wanted” Crowley said. Even he looked taken aback.

“Lucifer and Michael are always fighting” Cas informed them casually. “It was a bit quieter around here when they went to college, but since they moved back in – “

“THERE IS NO REASON TO – “

Something was thrown against a wall.

Good God.

“We should not go into the living room” Cas assured them as if it was no big deal.

“I’d say...” Dean agreed.

On the stairs up to Cas’ room, they met another one of his brothers, smaller than Dean and even Crowley.

“Hey, Cassie!”

Somehow, Dean had the feeling this went beyond the gentle ribbing Crowley intended when he used the nickname.

“Gabriel” he greeted him tiredly.

“Who are your friends?”

Alright, Dean didn’t want him to know his name. That mischievous glint in his eyes... And if he wasn’t wrong, there was a hint of cruelty there too that he’d weirdly never detected in Crowley of all people.

“That’s Dean and Crowley”.

“Rowena’s son?”

He clicked his tongue.

“Growing into quite the rebel, aren’t you”.

“Gabriel...”

“Wanna play our old game? How long until I annoy them enough to leave?”

Good God.

What the Hell?

“Don’t make me throw you down the stairs” Crowley said.

“Oh my God, you are adorable! Why don’t you – “

With ease, Crowley moved past Dean and punched Gabriel in the gut. While he was busy kneeling over and coughing, he said, “You wanted to show us your room, right?”

“You shouldn’t have done that” Cas said quietly, “Gabriel loves to retaliate”.

“I’m not scared. Let him try”.

Cas still looked worried but showed them his room.

It was smaller than Dean’s, but very clean. As expected, it was full of books...

And hey, wasn’t that the small stuffed bee Dean had given him two months ago as a joke after he’d learned how passionate he was about saving them?

“I had no idea you kept that”.

For some reason, Cas blushed.

“I like it”.

“Hey man, no harm done”.

A door slammed downstairs, followed by more shouting.

“Do they ever shut up?”

“My mother is very strict when it comes to fighting at the dining table”.

“I bet” Crowley said. “I always think I would have hated whatever sibling Mother might have thrown my way, but even I can’t imagine we’d be that bad”.

“Me and Sammy fight sometimes” Dean said.

“You still love one another as brothers though” Cas said matter-of-factly.

Dean could have sworn Crowley cursed under his breath.

“Yeah, well...”

“It’s alright. I know. To be honest, I am looking forward to college too”.

A knock on the door. Cas winced and for a second Dean thought Gabriel was about to enact his revenge, but instead a young woman came in.

“Castiel! Gabriel said you had friends over! Can I help you with anything, would you like something to eat and drink?”

She sounded nice enough, but there was a sort of mute desperation in her expression, as if she was forcing herself to be happily polite.

Cas eventually managed to get her to leave after repeatedly assuring her that no, they weren’t in want of anything.

“She’s either like that or completely silent” he informed them.

“Okay, I give up. Tell us the secret. How did you end up normal?” Crowley asked.

“I’m friends with you”.

“Fair enough”.

The front door closed with a bang and the shouting stopped.

“Father has come home”.

“And that means silence?” Crowley asked hopefully.

“It means he’ll go to his office to drink and try to write”.

“How do you even study in this place?”

“I barely do, I mostly sleep here”.

A good call, Dean had to admit that.

Really, he was starting to think he didn’t have it nearly as bad as he’d always believed. Sure, he’d have to stand up to his parents a little, but Cas and Crowley didn’t even have the hope that things would get better.

They had him, though, and he’d make sure they always would have.

“Man, I don’t know about you guys, but anyone wanna go grab a burger?”

“I thought you’d never ask” Crowley said and Cas gave him a small, pleased, private smile, that he only understood later when he whispered to him in the diner “Usually everyone runs away”.

“So this was a test?” he muttered back.

“No, I already knew you wouldn’t”.

Dean looked into his sparkling eyes and could have kissed him.

The next few weeks passed quietly; Dean studied and spent time with his friends and his brother.

His father was growing a bit nervous, though. Dean didn’t think he’d behaved much different at home, but he’d still noticed something was off.

“How’s the training going?” he asked that evening.

“Well, although I’m studying a lot right now”.

“Yes...” he appeared to be a little lost.

“And what are you... studying?”

“Oh, physics. I like it a lot actually, there’s...”

“Yeah, yeah, Dean, doesn’t matter, I probably wouldn’t understand it” Dad, who always let Sam ramble on, interrupted him.

“Just trying to tell you about my day” he snapped.

“That’s no way to speak to your father”.

“I was just clarifying what I said.”

He didn’t add the “sir” Dad was undoubtedly expecting, because all of a sudden he felt tired of it all. Here he was, putting in an actual effort to do well in school, and on the other side were his parents, ready to judge him and make him live his life as they saw fit instead of the other way around.

“Dean – “

“John” Mary interjected calmly, “Please. You forget he’s a teenager”.

So his feelings weren’t valid because of his age? Dean got up.

“We don’t leave the table before everyone’s done –“

“I am done, Dad”.

And he went to his room.

He should have known that this was not a good way to ensure his parents’ trust in him, especially because Gabriel Novak was still out there, seething because of Crowley’s punch.

Sam came to his room later that evening.

“Dad was pretty pissed.”

He grinned.

“It was awesome”.

“Yeah, yeah, you freaking rebel”.

And they watched a movie on Dean’s laptop.

For the next few days, they all pretended as if his outburst at dinner had never happened, and he had hopes that this would continue, until he came home one evening to find his father waiting for him, seething.

“I knew there must be a reason you’ve changed so drastically. What do I hear about you and that Crowley boy?”

#destiel #high school au #my writings #smart!dean #bestie!crowley

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hekate1308 · 7 years

Text

The Baggage We Carry, Chapter Nine

Read it on AO3