#men parents dress for engagement india

[latestmens-wear]

Explore Timeless Men's Suit Styles with a Modern Update in our Retro Remix Collection

Introduction

Fashion, like a timeless melody, echoes through eras, weaving tales of elegance and self-expression. In this exploration, we venture into the captivating realm of men's fashion, embarking on a retro remix that transcends time. Picture the scene: classic tuxedos, versatile blazers, and regal Jodhpuri suits, each a chapter in the ever-evolving story of the well-dressed man. Join us as we navigate through the sartorial ages, blending the charm of bygone eras with a contemporary flair, creating a fashion fusion that stands as a testament to the enduring allure of classic men's suit styles.

Exploring Classic Suit Styles

Classic suits are the silent narrators of a man's style journey. Tuxedos, with their satin lapels and tailored perfection, exude an air of sophistication that transcends occasions. Blazers, on the other hand, offer versatility, effortlessly transitioning from formal settings to smart-casual affairs. And then there's the Jodhpuri suit, a timeless classic originating from the sandy terrains of Jodhpur, India, where royalty met elegance. Each style bears a unique insignia, contributing to the symphony of classic men's fashion.

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As we traverse the corridors of fashion history, it's crucial to appreciate the evolution of these suits. The roaring twenties witnessed the birth of the modern suit silhouette, influenced by the Art Deco movement. The sixties introduced sharp lines and bold patterns, reflecting the spirit of a generation breaking free from conventions. Every era adds a layer to the classic suit narrative, creating a legacy that inspires the contemporary man to embrace the fusion of old and new.

Time-Traveling Through Fashion Eras

To truly grasp the essence of classic men's suits, we embark on a journey through the defining fashion eras. The Gatsby-inspired extravagance of the twenties, with its sleek lines and lavish fabrics, sets the stage for timeless elegance. Moving forward, the fifties bring forth the concept of the well-dressed man, emphasizing tailored fits and polished aesthetics. The rebellious sixties redefine the suit, introducing bold patterns and unconventional styles that challenge the status quo.

Fast forward to the present day, where designers pay homage to these iconic eras by infusing modern twists into classic designs. The fusion of old-world charm with contemporary sensibilities gives rise to a new breed of suits that resonate with the dynamic lifestyle of the modern man. This journey through time serves as a compass, guiding fashion enthusiasts to navigate the vast sea of suit styles with an appreciation for their historical significance.

Modern Twists on Classic Designs

In the ever-evolving landscape of men's fashion, the magic lies in the delicate balance between classic designs and modern elements. Contemporary designers, like skilled alchemists, weave innovation into the very fabric of traditional suits. Whether it's introducing unconventional materials, experimenting with patterns, or reimagining silhouettes, the result is a collection of suits that seamlessly bridge the gap between the past and the present.

Take, for instance, the resurgence of double-breasted blazers with bold, contrasting buttons—a nod to the sixties. The modern man can effortlessly incorporate this retro element into his wardrobe, creating a look that pays homage to the rebellious spirit of the past while embracing the confidence of today. The key is not to merely replicate but to reinterpret, allowing classic designs to breathe new life and relevance into contemporary fashion.

The Art of Suit Design

At the heart of every well-crafted suit lies the art of design. The cut of a lapel, the choice of fabric, and the meticulous attention to detail—all contribute to the creation of a masterpiece. Today's designers draw inspiration from the rich tapestry of fashion history, infusing their creations with elements that resonate with the modern wearer.

The classic suit is no longer confined to rigid norms; it's a canvas for self-expression. Tailors and designers alike encourage men to embrace personalized touches, from selecting unique fabrics to incorporating custom embroidery or monograms. The result is a suit that not only fits impeccably but also reflects the wearer's personality, making a bold statement in a world saturated with mass-produced fashion.

Embellishments: Adding Flair to Timeless Elegance

In the realm of classic men's suits, embellishments play a crucial role in elevating the overall aesthetic. Imagine a black tuxedo adorned with intricate bead, zardozi, sequins, cutdana & Resham work along the lapels or a Jodhpuri suit featuring embroidered patterns that tell a story of cultural richness. These embellishments, whether subtle or bold, add flair and individuality to the ensemble.

Colors: The Palette of Expression

While classic suits often adhere to neutral tones, modern interpretations allow for a playful exploration of colors. Deep burgundies, rich blues, and forest greens become the backdrop for traditional styles, injecting vibrancy without compromising sophistication. The choice of color becomes a language of expression, allowing the wearer to convey their mood, personality, and style preferences.

Fabrics: Crafting Luxury and Comfort

The selection of fabrics is a defining factor in the art of suit-making. Classic suits traditionally favor wool for its luxurious feel and natural breathability. However, the modern man can explore a myriad of options, from lightweight linens for a casual elegance to velvets for a touch of opulence. The fabric becomes not just a textile but a tactile experience, enhancing both comfort and style.

Wedding Suits for Men

Navigating the landscape of wedding suits requires a discerning eye for style and a nod to tradition. The modern groom seeks a balance between timeless elegance and contemporary flair, and the choices are as varied as the love stories they celebrate. A classic black tuxedo remains a perennial favorite for formal affairs, exuding sophistication and refinement.

For those seeking a departure from the conventional, a well-tailored Jodhpuri suit adds a regal touch to the wedding ensemble. The distinctive silhouette, characterized by a longer coat and unique detailing, sets the groom apart in a sea of traditional attire. It's a celebration of heritage and a testament to the enduring allure of classic men's suits, even in the context of modern love stories.

Jodhpuri Suits: A Timeless Classic

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Among the pantheon of classic suits, the Jodhpuri suit stands tall as a timeless classic. Originating from the princely city of Jodhpur in Rajasthan, India, this regal ensemble marries traditional aesthetics with a modern silhouette. The Jodhpuri suit typically features a longer coat, asymmetrical design, and intricate detailing, making it a symbol of sophistication and cultural richness.

The unique charm of the Jodhpuri suit lies in its versatility. While it has its roots in Indian royal attire, modern interpretations allow men to don this regal ensemble for various occasions. Whether it's a traditional wedding, a festive celebration, or a formal event, the Jodhpuri suit adds an air of majesty to the wearer, making a statement that transcends cultural boundaries.

Black Tie Affairs: The Tuxedo Suit

Formal occasions demand a level of refinement that only a well-tailored tuxedo suit can provide. The black-tie affair, characterized by its elegance and sophistication, sets the stage for the man who understands the power of impeccable dressing. The tuxedo, with its satin lapels, crisp white shirt, and bowtie, remains the epitome of formalwear, a symbol of timeless style that has endured for generations.

While traditionally reserved for events with a strict black-tie dress code, modern interpretations of the tuxedo allow for more versatility. A velvet or colored jacket, paired with black trousers, introduces a contemporary twist to the classic tuxedo, making it suitable for semi-formal gatherings and even cocktail parties. The key lies in understanding the nuances of formal dressing and adapting them to suit the occasion.

Waistcoats for Men: Elevating the Look

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In the symphony of classic men's suits, the waistcoat plays a distinctive tune, elevating the entire ensemble. Also known as a vest, the waistcoat adds an extra layer of refinement, creating a polished look that transcends casual and formal boundaries. Historically, the waistcoat was an essential part of a man's wardrobe, and its resurgence in modern fashion signifies a return to timeless style.

For formal occasions, a three-piece suit comprising a jacket, trousers, and waistcoat exudes sophistication. The waistcoat introduces an element of tradition, harking back to an era when dressing well was a sign of respect and social standing. In more casual settings, a waistcoat paired with jeans or tailored trousers adds a touch of dapper charm, showcasing the wearer's attention to detail and sartorial finesse.

Designer Suits for Men

The world of men's fashion has witnessed a paradigm shift with the rise of designer suits. Beyond the confines of traditional tailoring, designers have become architects of style, creating bespoke ensembles that redefine the boundaries of classic men's suits. From established fashion houses to independent designers, the landscape is diverse, offering a plethora of options for the discerning man.

Designer suits go beyond the conventional, experimenting with unconventional materials, avant-garde silhouettes, and innovative embellishments. The modern man, armed with a sense of adventure and an appreciation for the avant-garde, can explore these creations to curate a wardrobe that reflects his individuality. Whether it's a bold pattern, an unexpected color palette, or a unique blend of fabrics, designer suits offer an avenue for self-expression in the realm of men's fashion.

Retro Style Dhamaka

As we take a delightful detour into the past, the retro style dhamaka unfolds, revealing a tapestry of flamboyant patterns, bold colors, and daring fashion choices. The retro era, characterized by its audacious style and rebellious spirit, serves as a perennial source of inspiration for the modern man seeking to make a statement.

Picture the flamboyant patterns of the seventies—paisley prints, bold stripes, and geometric designs that echoed the free-spirited nature of the era. The disco fever of the eighties brought forth metallic fabrics, wide lapels, and extravagant accessories that defined a generation unafraid to break the mold. Each retro moment is a celebration of individuality, a reminder that fashion is a form of self-expression that transcends societal norms.

Fashion Icons: Mithun Chakraborty and Rajinikanth

In the pantheon of fashion icons, Mithun Chakraborty and Rajinikanth stand as timeless figures who have left an indelible mark on retro fashion. Mithun, with his disco-era style, brought a touch of glamour to the silver screen. The shimmering fabrics, wide collars, and bold accessories became synonymous with his on-screen persona, influencing a generation to embrace the audacious spirit of the seventies.

Rajinikanth, the superstar of Indian cinema, brought his distinctive style to the forefront. His on-screen characters, characterized by their larger-than-life presence, were often adorned in classic suits with a contemporary twist. Rajinikanth's fashion choices, both on and off the screen, became a cultural phenomenon, inspiring millions to embrace the blend of traditional and modern elements in their personal style.

Blend of Old and New: Styling Tips

As we navigate the intricate web of classic men's suit styles, it's essential to understand the art of blending the old and the new seamlessly. Here are some practical tips for the modern gentleman looking to create a style fusion that transcends time:

1. Mix and Match: Experiment with combining classic suit elements with modern separates. Pair a traditional blazer with contemporary trousers or vice versa to create a look that bridges eras.

2. Accessorize Thoughtfully: Vintage-inspired accessories such as pocket squares, cufflinks, and classic watches can add a touch of old-world charm to a modern suit. Choose accessories that complement the color palette and style of your ensemble.

3. Bold Patterns and Colors: Embrace the bold patterns and colors reminiscent of retro fashion eras. Whether it's a paisley pocket square or a striped shirt, infusing your outfit with a dash of audacity can elevate your style.

4. Custom Tailoring: Invest in bespoke tailoring to ensure your suits fit impeccably. Tailored suits not only enhance your silhouette but also allow for personalized details that reflect your unique style.

5. Layer with Waistcoats: Incorporate waistcoats into your wardrobe for a touch of traditional elegance. A well-fitted waistcoat can elevate the entire look, adding a layer of refinement to both formal and casual ensembles.

6. Experiment with Textures: Play with different fabric textures to add depth to your outfit. Velvet, tweed, and corduroy are timeless textures that can bring a vintage touch to your contemporary wardrobe.

7. Contemporary Color Palette: While embracing classic styles, experiment with a contemporary color palette. Neutral tones and muted hues can provide a modern backdrop for traditional suits elements.

Remember, the key lies in expressing your personality through your style. Don't be afraid to experiment and make the classics uniquely yours.

FAQs on Retro Remix Men's Suits

Q1: Where can I find the latest retro-inspired men's suits?

A: Specialized stores or online platforms that curate retro-inspired men's suits, like Samyakk.com, are ideal starting points.

Q2: Can I wear a Jodhpuri suit for a non-traditional event?

A: Absolutely! Jodhpuri suits exude elegance and can be adapted for various occasions, not just traditional events.

Q3: Are tuxedo suits only for black-tie affairs?

A: While traditionally worn for formal events, modern interpretations allow for a more versatile use of tuxedo suits, even in semi-formal settings.

Q4: How can I personalize a designer suit to reflect my style?

A: Many designers offer customization options, allowing you to choose fabrics, colors, and specific design details to create a suit that reflects your unique style.

Q5: What accessories complement a retro-inspired suit?

A: Vintage-inspired accessories such as pocket squares, cufflinks, and classic watches can complement a retro-inspired suit beautifully.

Conclusion

In the vast landscape of men's fashion, the retro remix is more than a trend; it's a celebration of enduring style. Blending classic men's suit styles with a modern twist creates a fashion statement that transcends time. As we traverse the realms of tuxedos, blazers, Jodhpuri suits, and more, let the journey inspire you to curate a wardrobe that pays homage to tradition while embracing the dynamism of the present.

The classic suit is not just an ensemble; it's a canvas for self-expression, a reflection of your unique identity in a world of trends. Whether you opt for the regality of a Jodhpuri suit, the sophistication of a tuxedo, or the versatility of a well-tailored blazer, remember that fashion is an art, and you are the artist.

As we bid adieu to this exploration of retro remix men's suits, may your style journey be filled with audacious choices, timeless elegance, and a harmonious blend of the old and the new. Fashion is an ever-evolving symphony, and you, dear reader, are the conductor of your style narrative.

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[sosuigeneris]

What are men in those circles looking for in a woman (not in India specifically but in general)

this answer will be more generalised. Not all men are like this but I would say majority.

Ambition is seen as desirable but to an extent. They want to be able to joke around “my wife runs this wellness company” bs but they don’t want you flying around the globe making it work. It’s going to be tough being at the peak of your career and be married to someone like this.

Education is also pretty huge. Most rich circles are right leaning. Parents do influence their children on what their “ideal” partner should look like. Serious business families (meaning, those not in entertainment) stress heavily on education level (should be at least undergrad), health, background, and ability to adapt. You need to be able to adapt to the environments you’ll be thrown in. You’ll encounter gossip (and the absolutely crazy kind), jealousy, backstabbing, performative support, crude remarks, fights (even physical ones), psycho family members and if you make the mistake of engaging or calling them out (rather than just politely dealing with it) you WILL be in hot water.

looks. If you look like a fashion nova model, out. If you look like a hippie, out. If you have crazy hair or really huge tattoos, out. Again, I’m generalising. Most rich girls who are not in entertainment tend to dress extremely casual - what really sets the outfit apart is that it’s casual stuff from high end brands, paired with a designer pendant or bag or shoes. You need to “show off” the right brand accessory, not the whole outfit. And when it’s time to shine like at a gala, you can really stand out.

there are elements of the trad wife that most of these guys want. They want someone attractive, who they can bring to the most important events and not feel embarrassed, someone who is almost overly-friendly, someone who doesn’t earn more than them, inclined towards children, strong compatibility of values etc. They want someone who looks modern, feels modern but has some of those old school elements that you can’t guess easily. Most of these women you’ll notice also take care of their philanthropic endeavours - which is the best way to network, gain fame and creative more businesses. For that reason you need to be an extrovert and know how to host, all that jazz.

getting married fairly young (I personally feel under 26 is quite young to get married) is also common. The marriages where the girl is of an ���ordinary background” are commonly long term high school / university sweetheart type relationships.

[talesofthesecondcity]

Tales of the Second City: Finding the Gems

Finding the Gems

You can find heart-warming stories in the most unexpected of places.

With over thirty years of misadventures on the Birmingham gay scene, socialising and cruising bars, pubs, clubs, saunas and secluded midnight nooks, I have tales to tell of the places, predicaments and people I have been in… but most importantly the humour and humanity I have encountered… on the gay side of the UK’s much maligned second city.

Shining a light on the scene unseen.

I was in a private members men-only club situated at the shadowy end of Lower Essex Street, which confidently describes itself as ‘the Midland’s horniest club’. While anything and everything can and does go on in this salacious bar, it was a particularly quiet mid-week. Only a modest early evening crowd had come in for a post-work drink and the chance of a hook-up.

I was occupying myself by casually exchanging taps and pleasantries with local guys on… well I’ll say a ‘popular gay dating app’… but I mean Grindr, when a friendly ‘Hello’ popped up in my messages from someone 10 meters way.

I looked up to see a petite, South Asian lad beaming a wide grin at me from the other side of the central bar that dominated the core of the club. The lad turned his doe eyes bashfully to the floor. I waited the few self-conscious moments that it required for him to gather the confidence to look back up again, returned his smile, picked up my pint and walked over.

We introduced ourselves. His name was Nishantand it turned out that he was from a small town outside of Calcutta and in the UK on a three-year student visa.

Soon any hint of shyness had disappeared, and this guy showed that he loved to talk, chatting enthusiastically about his studies, future ambitions and friends, both in Birmingham and back home in India. One subject rapidly tumbling into the next in an engaging monologue, all delivered in his lyrical Indian accent. Most endearing, was the head wiggle, often referred to as the ‘Indian Nod’, that punctuated Nishant’s soliloquy, adding emphasis to key moments and marking changes of emotion, pace and tone, like a human metronome.

Sadly, his narrative took a downturn when he started to talk about a secret affair that he had been involved in with a man in his hometown. Things had turned sour after they had split up and the bitter ex-lover had maliciously outed Nishant to his community, bringing shame and resulting in a temporary breakdown in his relationship with his parents. Feeling he had no choice, but to get away, his studies in Birmingham not only presented new opportunities, but also respite from the scandal.

When it came time to leave for the UK, Nishant’s mother and father refused to accompany him to the airport or even say goodbye.

He had one older brother with whom he was understandably nervous of broaching the subject of his sexuality for fear of further rejection.

When he finally mustered the courage to talk to the brother, he asked, "Are you also ashamed of me?"

The brother replied, "I am neither ashamed nor surprised... and have been deleting your browser history since you were twelve years old." He had discovered his sibling’s taste in internet porn sites years before and had been keeping the secret safe ever since.

“I think I love your brother,” I gushed, once the story was over… and I could finally get a word in edgewise, “but hang on… TWELVE?!! Dirty boy!!!”

“What can I say,” Nishant replied, with broad grin and that characteristic wiggle of the head, “I was an early developer.”

Even in a bar notorious for anonymous cruising, casual bunk-ups and no-strings-attached fun, if you take a moment to look beyond the window dressing of slings and bars, rubber and leather you will find something else.

Within the dark corners… you can find gems in the shadows.

Find over 100 tales from Birmingham's gay scene @talesofthesecondcity.com

[kitquotes692]

Buying a School Jersey For Your Child

School jerseys come in all shapes and sizes, with a variety of fabrics and materials. You can find everything from the classic white cotton to the more colorful cotton baju kurung. If you have a child attending school, you'll be happy to know that they'll be wearing an item that's safe, comfortable, and stylish, no matter their age.

Brazilian school uniforms

Brazilian school jersey uniforms vary widely among the different schools. In public institutions, school colours and designs are decided upon locally, while in private schools, the uniform policy is up to the school. Some schools require full uniforms, while others permit regular jeans. Those with less funds may find it difficult to afford the latest styles.

Traditionally, primary and secondary school uniforms were one-piece blue or black. High school students were also required to wear a white shirt and jacket. The formal sets - which are worn on special occasions - consisted of a suit for boys and a skirt for girls.

Nowadays, students often opt for more fashion-forward looks. They can choose to wear dresses, make-up and jewellery outside of the classroom. Girls might also wear skirts that are too short. Depending on the school, they may or may not wear a skirt of a certain colour.

One of the most common uniforms for boys is a T-shirt with a school logo. Boys may also wear a polo shirt or a short sleeved button-up. Similarly, girls have many options, including skirts, shorts and leggings.

There is a new system being used in a handful of Brazilian cities to combat truancy. It works by sending parents a text message whenever a child enters or exits the school building. This is a measure aimed at improving teacher-parent relations.

Indonesian baju kurung

Baju Kurung is a traditional costume, worn by men and women in Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Thailand. This dress originated in the Malay community, and has evolved over time, but it remains a well-known cultural attire.

Baju Kurung has two distinct fashion methodologies. The first is a conservative baju kurung that has a structured silhouette. It consists of a long top with loose pants.

Another fashion methodology is the Baju Melayu, which is a baggy shirt. It is often paired with a sampin, a traditional Malay scarf. However, the sampin can be worn as part of the traditional costume, or as an entire baju kebaya.

A sampin is usually made from a woven material, and is typically made of tenun pahang diraja. Sometimes, it is made from songket cloth, which is a hand-woven brocade fabric.

A sampin wraps around the middle of the body, from the stomach to the knee. Sarongs are typically made of plaid cloth, and are usually made from Samarinda (Kalimantan), but are also sometimes made from Trengganu (Malaya).

Today, the most common form of baju kurung is the teluk belanga, which is a Johore style that has no collar. However, other styles include the Cekak Musang, which has holes for five buttons, and the Deduction, which is a long-sleeved shirt believed to have received influences from China and India.

Haredi school uniforms

If you're like most average news consumers, you may have a tough time believing that there is actually a community called Haredi. It's a Jewish religious movement that is centered on strict adherence to religious laws. These strictures are based on the biblical concept of purity.

Many members of the Haredi community consider themselves constantly under threat. This is due in part to the fact that they are a very conservative group. The group is defined by their decision not to participate in full military service in the Israeli army.

However, they do engage in an education system that is different from that offered by most public schools. A major portion of young men attend a yeshiva (a religious school) until they marry, although many continue to study in kollel (a communitybased institution).

Some Yeshivas also offer students a degree. In Maryland, there are several Yeshivas with agreements with universities such as the University of Baltimore, Loyola College, and Johns Hopkins University.

There is also a growing Hasidic community in the Washington DC area. The Yeshiva of Greater Washington is one such establishment.

Haredi yeshivas are unlike most New York city schools in that they refuse to change their names or dress. While most boys wear a kapoteh, a paisley embroidered shirt with a tzitzit, girls are required to wear a uniform that is both stylish and functional.

[mygreatpakistan]

6 Things to Know About Pakistani Culture

If you have to refer to a country whose culture is not in coherence with its international image, it is none other than Pakistan. Regardless of wherever they go, Pakistani’s have to struggle with explaining their culture to the rest of the world. Thanks to social media and the several modern news platforms, the world has finally started to read the positives of this nation. Although this country has struggled with democratic and economic issues, it has still managed to intrigue the audience with its beauty and culture. If you have been looking for some valuable information about the culture of this firm, you’ve come to the right spot. Here, in this feature, we will enlighten you about the rich culture of this country:

1. The Culture is Diverse

Long story cut short, the Pakistani culture is rich in diversity. This is due to the historical, ethnic and geographical differences. Not to forget, because Pakistan frequently engages with the rest of the world, it borrows inspiration from India, Persia, South Asia, Central Asia, China and the West. To add to your information, this country has over 15 different ethnic groups. All of them are different with regards to the dress, music, food, custom and the historic bloodlines. Secondly, the classification of people is very interesting. Some examples are of the Kashmiris, Punjabis, Sindhis, Pashtuns, Baloch, Makranis, Hazaras and Baltis. Each of these people are acknowledged because of the tribe, they come from.

2. People Are Friendly

Although the gender segregation is omnipresent, the people are friendly and welcoming. Because of the differences in education and culture in several parts, there is huge social inequality throughout the country. Luckily, with the advent of modern education, the concept of social equality has finally started to gain momentum. Today, several companies in Pakistan provide equal work opportunities to both men and women. The interactions between men and women are less intimate in public. Especially if you think of engaging with your partner romantically, it wouldn’t be wise enough to do it in public. Regardless of these minor issues, the people are friendly, warm and welcoming. In fact, they get excited to see visitors and love to engage with them.

3. This Country is Home to Several Languages

The current number of languages spoken in Pakistan lies between 73 and 76. As you travel between the different cities, you will come across intriguing languages. Secondly, as you interact with the different people, you will witness a unique touch in their accent. You might find it challenging to engage with new people but you must talk to them because they’re always interesting. If you want to magnify the experience of sifting through this beautiful country, we suggest you to learn some basic Urdu. However, English too, is a popular language in this country. With the literacy rate being close to 59%, Pakistan is the 9th largest English speaking nation in the world.

4. Food is Amazing

If you visit Pakistan and don’t munch on the local food, you won’t be able to make the most out of your experience. In simple words, Pakistani cuisines are amazing. Beginning from the local street food to the most top notch restaurants, this country has it all. To enjoy the cultural food, we suggest you to visit Lahore, Karachi, Islamabad, Peshawar and Multan. Once you sift through any of these cities, you will be rest assured about going through a typical Pakistani experience. Secondly, when you’ll visit the food street and other iconic places, you will be provided with a plethora of delicacies such as mithai, doodh jalebi, halwa poori, lassi, naan Haleem and a lot more.

5. Pakistanis Love Music

Luckily, in the last few years, Pakistani’s have slanted towards music exponentially. Now, if you go anywhere in this country, you will come across people swooning over music. Today, Pakistan’s entertainment industry is in its best form because the music factor has got uplifted. Especially since the inception of the iconic Coke Studio, the music industry has attracted the attention of millions of people across the globe. Not to forget, the nation has given some of the most iconic music stars to the world such as Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Atif Aslam, Abida Parveen, Madam Noor Jehan and many more. So if you’re a big fan of the folk music, you must acknowledge the importance of this art in Pakistan.

6. Pakistani Culture is Family Oriented

Regardless of what you’ve read or heard earlier, the Pakistani culture is family oriented. This means, regardless of wherever you go, you will eventually come across a closely knitted circle of all the people living there. In Pakistan it is common for the grownups to live with their parents and children. Although the privacy factor often gets compromised, still there is a huge reliance on living in a joint family system. For instance, if you visit a typical Pakistani family, you will be intrigued to come across several people living in the same house. Sometimes, the number of people living in a double story house often crosses 15. Secondly, if you plan to visit Pakistan and have friends there, you won’t have to stay in a hotel. Because the people are warm and welcoming, they will encourage you to stay with them.

[idio-cies]

Right, I need to go on a rant because lockdown is still getting to me and I am fed up with the same comments I hear every time I allude to my sexuality (mostly ace) towards my family.

So story time: today my Nana was showing my mum about princess Gertrude or something being married in an old Ball gown of the Queen's and how it was altered a bit and as an a fly away comment of me being pedantic I said "having a wedding dress is over-rated anyway" to which my mum gave a mock shocked face saying that of course I would say something like that (My family joke about me being cold-hearted as I don't cry at sad films or books, and can just lack empathy to certain things). So I laughed to continue the joke but what I intended was that you know why a dress? Women can be married in suits or two-pieces if they wish? Like what's the fuss. Oh hell, the men could wear flounces! Also upcycling yay for the environment! So I continued, starting to say the colour, my mum saying about how my older sister will be in Ivory and I said "Come on, that's off white! But I mean Chinese get married in red" and she continued "in India they get married in all sorts of colours" and I said "exactly! Why white?" And she said before I could continue "I suppose you would get married in black" so I scrunched up my face and said "if I ever get married" and then came the usual "you might not say that as you get older" you know. That golden nugget of a line that is told to many people who are aro/ace or whatever the identify as. Some people just do not wish to be married. I also said "whats the point in having a dress you only wear once, anyway" which, as I expected was returned with "you could pass it on to your children". My mum continued saying how her best friend used to think like me and now is married and has had two children, then she left to go do something. My Nana then joined in saying how I don't want to not give my mum grandkids, to which I shrugged, she continued saying how what if my husband didn't wanted kids what would I do then? This is when I started to get mad but with this situation I always try and brush everything over considering I know from experience how things will go (will get brushed with the aforementioned comments, stereotypes etc). So I shrugged and said "well then it wasn't meant to be" in my head I was thinking what if I don't want a husband, what if I have a wife, or a partner who identifies as non-binary or genderfluid? What if I just never marry, or just live the rest of my life with my friends? What if, if I do change my mind about kids, I adopt. But I couldn't say that. My nana continued by saying "well, I guess you wouldn't marry if that was the case" and I'm just sat there stewing.

See, my problem here is that my parents certainly are more liberal, and the reason why I make jokes that allude to me being ace is because they have also made jokes about saying how they probably will never have grand kids, or that I don't go for that sort of thing and I had hope. My sister is a lesbian and they knew for ages and still love her and want the best for her, but my mum never understood why my sister was so hesitant to come out and I explained to her how people coming out always have that fear, that even if their parents or their friends are liberal, they still may not be fully accepted for who they are. Plus, my sister has had bad experiences with friends being homophobic or use her in the face of her coming out, but my mum took this explanation as me hiding something about myself.

When I had my first boyfriend a year ago my mum thought the perfect time to bring up sex would be as she placed food in front of me. I legit choked on my food and as she continued I had to tell her right there and then that I believed myself to be ace and she had nothing to worry about and she didn't understand, so I had to explain. This was the first proper time I heard her deflect that "I might change my mind". When I stayed overnight at his, my dad was teasing me asking whether I needed rubbers and kept on asking me. The thing is, it was always jokey but I'm pretty sure he was concerned. Then my sister thought more happened between him and I when he broke up with me, indicating that we probably had sex, because of how upset I was over it all. I'm pretty sure a couple of my friends thought that too. However, one of my friends said what I was thinking which was that part of the reason why he broke up with me was because I wouldn't have sex with him which was the case considering when I told him that my dad joked about getting rubbers he asked me if I did all excited and I said no with a confused expression like "we've been over this, I thought you understood" and he looked away disheartened with an "oh" thats when I think I knew this wasn't right. To be fair I should've known about "oh, so you're a celibate" and loads of other things like believing I liked something when I didn't or I wasn't sure so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ I was young and it was my first boyfriend so you know, I was naive. The reason why I was so broken-hearted was because I'm pretty sure it was because I was ace, and because of that I felt like I would never be loved, or respected. What's more is he tried to take advantage of my friend when they were together whilst she was drunk! So he is just a huge dickhead anyway.

Anyways, I guess for my grandparents to understand is trickier and as far as I'm aware they don't know that I said to my mum who probs told my dad that I'm ace. I always get told that they won't change. My grandad I think still believes my sister isn't fully gay by the fact that he refuses to say "girlfriend" and also slander her girlfriend a bit, and he never believed she showed signs, though why should that matter if she "showed signs"? And my Nana said she did and is a little more accepting of my sister's girlfriend (btw, this is not my older sister who is getting married). I hate being told that people who are older (especially my grandparents) won't change their minds or see things differently. I don't understand how people can go through life like that? But I guess that's because I'm a more open-minded person who makes sure I have several perspectives on certain things.

The thing now though is that I'm scared that I'm under the category of ace where the stereotype is that I'm a robot because I lack empathy and am cold-hearted and such. I know that for my Nana and also for my Nanny that they ended up abandoning their careers for the sake of raising a family and for me, that just feels like an epic loss. I also think that my grandparents first impression of my mum was not approving as she had a baby when she was 20 out of wedlock and had an abusive partner.

After this spiel, if you are still with me, I just want to let you know that this is life is complicated. Heck, I even queried about my best friend being ace, but I think that is because I never thought someone so close to me could have the same feelings about that topic and also because I am constantly questioning myself, probably because I have had "oh, you may change your mind when you're older" most of my life. Oh, I know I could, but for what feels my entire life (when I gained consciousness of myself and was making choices for myself without having this stereotyped life conditioned in my brain) was that I never personally want to have kids. Ever. I understand I may change my mind and if I do I will adopt because I would like to think that I could make a child's life better, and also we have a dense enough population as it is. I do not care if I have a partner with me in my life. I can quite easily get by independently in life. I'm not adverse to having a partner, whoever/whenever/and whatever status it may be.

What I find hilarious though is that I'm very nonchalant about my sexuality, but I do not wish to tell my gay sister that I am queer on some scale. She has had too many run-ins of me slipping to say that I'm not straight or my friend legit said a joke about how my hair is as straight as me (it's curly) because I have made that joke around her before about myself. TERRIFIED. She has jokingly confronted me about it as well and I remained nonchalant as I always do.

So I guess what I'm trying to say that even though people can be liberal in mind, it is always tricky to tell your family and (after stereotypes and assumptions have been placed on me) friends. I have even had a friend who told me that basically I wasn't ace sinply because I didn't know how to answer him in something related to do with sex. I AM ALMOST 19, I DO NOT HAVE MY LIFE FIGURED OUT. I AM STILL QUESTIONING MY OWN EXISTENCE LET ALONE MY SEXUALITY/ORIENTATION.

I would love to go through my life with no labels whatsoever. Whether I'm female, that I'm ace, or that I'm most likely pan. I've always been weird with labels. I simply do not care about that, but I also care about it too much. I do not want societal pressure to tell me that I need a partner in my life, that I need to have children in order to be happy and be worth something. That is not what makes a life. I want people to understand this, especially my family, but I'm afraid they won't even if they are aware that they know it's not for all people. The life I want is to be with the people I love and I can trust and engage with. That I am successful and can stand up for who and what I believe in. So this is my message to people out there. Take all the time in the world to discover who you are. Whether you prefer labels for it or not. To not let societal pressure get to you too much. I know it's hard and the nature of the world and its people are complex, but please be true to yourself and I'm sure you will find your people and your way in life.

[holden-norgorov]

Hey, it’s February 22nd 2019 and I feel like making another extremely long Sense8-related rant reminding all of you that:

#1. Kala was never in love with Rajan.

The narrative of her storyline is entirely focused on that almost in a heavy-handed way, to the point that I really struggle to believe than anyone could think otherwise. There is just a huge amount of facts supporting this, spreading from the pilot itself to the last episode of Season 02. In 1x01, she confesses to Ganesha that the only reasons she is agreeing to marry Rajan are: society’s (misguided) opinion on him and, most importantly, her parents’ happiness. In 1x05, she feels like she is metaphorically drowning (she is seen panting heavily) and going to prison by entering this marriage, hence the connection with Sun giving away her dog to her teacher and Wolfgang being literally underwater. In 1x06, Wolfgang reveals that Kala was actually calling for him hoping that he would stop her wedding because she didn’t want to go through with it; later she tries to trick Rajan avoiding the truth by acting like she was “undeserving” of being married after what happened and hiding her actual feelings about it. In 1x07, she literally says that the wedding’s interruption was a blessing from her God. In 1x11, Wolfgang clarifies the way she feels about her upcoming wedding: as something “inevitable” and “fated” to happen because of how her world works (something he says he can never understand, which is true because of his European perspective on it). In 1x12, Wolfgang decides to close the door on Kala and pushes her to dive into this unwanted marriage because it would be the safer choice for her. She marries to Rajan against her will. In 2x01, we can see that Kala is actually trying her best to make this marriage work despite not loving Rajan, to the point that she builds a “fake image” of herself just to please him – remember the way she dressed up and put make up on during her birthday night? A clear sign that she was actually hiding her real self under that – and agrees to have sex (that is unwanted from her) with him out of her marital duty. At this point she believes that a future with Wolfgang is impossible because of his rejection, so she is willing to try to make a life with Rajan because she feels like it’s the only choice she has left not to disappoint her family and society – hence why she actually shuts down Rajan when he addresses her lack of feelings towards him. In the snowball scene with Wolfgang, though, she opens up with him and confesses that she feels like a bad person because she can’t bring herself to love Rajan (“we have to change… become better people”). In 2x04, she realizes that not only is she incapable of loving him, but also that she doesn’t even enjoy the fancy life in society that he can provide to her: this becomes evident in the gallery, where she realizes how out-of-place her real self is – remember the awkward head tilt before quickly putting herself together? – and it’s also confessed to Wolfgang right after; she tells him that what would make her truly happy is not what society expects from her but “something else” and that she is “only pretending to be a good person”, addressing again how she built a fake image for her husband and society to see and for her to hide behind. In 2x05, she confesses to her dad that what would make her truly happy would disappoint her family and hurt her husband. In 2x06, she lets out that she considers her marriage a duty (“every-day rules”) and that her feelings for Wolfgang are so powerful that whenever she is with him, everything else fades away and she “can’t be trusted with her (real) thoughts”; Wolfgang calls her marriage a pretense (“pretending isn’t a life”), tying with what he discovered in 2x04 about her fake persona. In 2x08, she talks with Will about her marriage in a very detached and unemotional way – and Kala is someone who always emotes freely and intensely – taking it as a duty or job to perform; he reads her emotions and clarifies that her problem is that she doesn’t love her husband. In 2x09, she expresses disgust and serious discomfort to the idea of having children with Rajan. In 2x10, she decides to put her own happiness above everyone else’s for the first time and agrees to follow her feelings (Wolfgang) and telling Rajan the truth. In 2x11, she confesses her love to Wolfgang and states that she wants a new life (Paris) just for the two of them, before genuinely and freely smiling for probably the first time in the whole show. All of these are facts and, as you can see, are a lot. How anyone can claim that she genuinely loves her husband is actually beyond my comprehension and indicates a serious misunderstanding of her whole storyline.

This is also extremely clear aside from the narrative perspective and focusing only on the character itself. Kala’s attitude and behavior with both Wolfgang and Rajan is completely different throughout all the show, which testifies how differently she considers both men and, most importantly, how oppressed she feels by her culture. She spends two entire seasons avoiding any kind of confrontation with Rajan because of cultural indoctrination and a deep fear caused by her submissive position in the marriage (with Rajan being the beholder of the cultural power and authority, as I will address later on). She never speaks up about what she actually thinks or feels to him until the infamous expired-drugs episode in 2x07 – which not-so-casually happens after the conclusion of her bravery awakening arc in mid-Season 02, a case of excellent character writing and follow-through. The oppression she feels from her culture and its morality prevents her from dealing face-to-face with letting down a wealthy, rich and socially rewarded man who decided she had to be his conquest (prize) – this is evident in many occasions, mainly in the 1x02 balcony scene, the 1x06 conversation about their wedding (where Kala displays a serious inability to engage in a honest conversation with Rajan because of cultural dynamics), and many moments in the Christmas Special. Rajan’s cultural and social dominance is pivotal in understanding why Kala gets fearful and hesitant whenever she is with him, almost making it look like she is a weak person. But the viewers know she really isn’t, because they manage to experience the Other Kala – the real Kala – that shows up every time she is not around Rajan. This version of Kala is firey, combative, courageous; she easily makes a bomb out of kitchen supplies to kill several people (1x12), she lets a restaurant table on fire out of pure anger (2x08) and causes a car to explode out of bright intelligence (2x11); she proves to have exactly zero hesitance in making last-minute blockers while the man she loves is being held hostage (2x11). This is the real Kala, and she is brave and resourceful and always comes out whenever she is not with Rajan. Why? Because she feels and has always felt psychologically pressured by her culture and in a position of cultural submission towards him. Kala’s real enemy – the real obstacle she had to overcome to reach happiness and embrace her real self (i.e. destroy the fake persona she had to play in her marriage) – was always her culture and the effect that it had on her. It’s also worth pointing out the relationship Kala has with her temple, which is the only place where she can be herself freely (before developing her bond with Wolfgang), and this is not-casually because it’s also the only place where she is unreachable to Rajan (whose family is not only anti-religious but also actively trying to shut down that very same place – a fitting metaphor for Rajan shutting down the real Kala in her daily life throughout all the show). And the temple ends up being exactly the place where she becomes reachable to Wolfgang (alongside with her bedroom and her bathroom, all intimate places which are forbidden to Rajan up to Season 01 but that are naturally accessible to Wolfgang). Kala actually engages in a deep relationship with him, opening up about herself and having plenty of honest conversations about the real her – her festival experience and relationship with science and religion (1x07), her actual feelings and fears (2x04, 2x06, 2x11), her opinion on his violent methods (2x10): deep topics that help establishing a trust-based bond with Wolfgang that is meant to contrast with the sincerity and depth that her relationship with Rajan lacks. This was a case of gorgeous and complex storytelling that completely got lost with the finale. At last, it’s also worth noting that Kala normally emotes freely and naturally, especially when with Wolfgang, but suddenly always appears distant and shut-down with Rajan, a clear sign that she feels very differently for the two of them.

#2. Kala and Rajan had a toxic relationship.

I seriously don’t understand how this came to be completely unnoticed by a huge side of the fandom, but there is almost everything about Kala’s relationship with Rajan that is toxic and unhealthy. They embody exactly what a marriage shouldn’t be. This is extremely clear since the very first moment, according to how their relationship starts. Rajan (her boss) spots her, decides he wants her and fills her (i.e. his employee’s) office with a huge number of flowers for everyone else to see, putting her in an extremely unfair position – she can’t turn him down because of many reasons at this point: 1) she could lose her job and have serious damage on her career, which she personally values a lot; 2) she knows her parents want her to get married, so she would let them down as well by rejecting him; 3) he has a too solid reputation and is regarded as a way too influent member of his society; 4) she would likely encounter public shame from her co-workers and society as a whole by turning down such a big gesture by such a kind man. This is also India, not Europe or America, and mentality plays a huge role in this case. She gets trapped in this situation from the very beginning. Then, in 1x02, we discover more details about their relationship: Rajan reveals he knows Kala “never ever looked at me, not once” and “can feel her hesitation”, but decided he didn’t care about this and that his selfish desire to have her was too important – “the only life I want to live in is one where we can be together”. He exploits his cultural dominance to get what he wants, something that he has basically by default because of being a wealthy man, hence the “my father thought me that fortune favors the bold”. He basically pushes Kala on with this wedding despite already knowing that she doesn’t feel for him what he feels for her and just being okay with the idea that she will grow accustomed to him, highlighting how her feelings actually don’t matter to him at all. This is also the first sign we get that he is not interested in knowing Kala as a person, but just in owning her as a possession to show off, because he doesn’t take her feelings and opinions into account. This happens again in 1x06 after the fainting episode in the first wedding ceremony, when he completely dismisses what Kala has to say about it as non-important by shutting her down and imposing his own view over hers (“Kala, Kala, slow down… for me I loved what happened […] it was a part of the story, I just hope it is not the end of our story”). He keeps pushing despite knowing she doesn’t feel comfortable with what happened. In 1x11, he confesses that at first he wanted her because she wasn’t a suitable choice for his father, which seriously puts an even worse light on Rajan as a person, since Kala became the target of a conquest caused just by an act of rebellion – this speaks about how little he actually values women in general, including Kala, and finally makes us understand why he doesn’t even care about Kala’s inner self (opinions, feelings, thoughts). This new discovery, combined with our knowledge that he knows from the beginning that Kala doesn’t feel for him, ends up establishing him as a manipulative man who keeps exploiting his cultural power to psychologically pressure her in entering the marriage and, after that, not leaving it. He is a slimy, disgusting person whose outwardly pleasant behavior hides his inner desire to get Kala as his personal prize for society to see. This will be evident in many other occasions to come as well. In the Christmas Special, for instance, he shows he doesn’t care about having even actual conversations with her, because he goes asking her mother about her virginity, disrespecting her and (again) displaying the condition of ownership that he feels he has on her: he doesn’t treat her as a person with agency, but as an object. It’s worth noting his reaction when he gets called out on this: at first, he instinctively laughs it off as something completely superfluous (i.e. proving his spontaneous reaction to be careless about Kala’s agency as a woman), but as soon as he realizes that this is making her angry, he suddenly gets worried about a possible break in their marital status and readily apologizes in a completely moronic and unbothered way (“Kala, I’ve been an ass, please just forgive me”). This highlights that he doesn’t apologize out of sincere understanding of what he did wrong, but rather out of the fear that this could anger her enough to walk away from their marriage – which is exactly the same dynamic that happens again in 2x07, after the expired-drugs talk. Things later in the episode get ever worse because he bribes her into sex by throwing her a giant party and buying her an expensive necklace, showing that he actually didn’t care at all about the conversation they had before and that, once again, Kala’s feelings on this matter were completely unimportant to him: he just cares about getting what he wants from her. This is an extremely unhealthy and toxic dynamic: Kala ends up engaging in sex unwanted from her because she feels she has to repay him for her birthday celebration and because she feels responsible for his dick incident. This is not consensual. Going on with 2x04, we see how Rajan acts with Kala in a public place in society, the art gallery: he pushes her from behind as if she is unable to walk by herself and as if he wants to show off what he has, he doesn’t even introduce her with her name (he just calls her “my beautiful wife” when introducing her to someone she doesn’t know, which is extremely disrespectful and dehumanizing). Ajay even makes quite a sexist comment that Rajan unapologetically laughs at while Kala is shown to be quite disturbed by. In 2x05, Kala tries to talk to Rajan about work, but he once again completely shuts her down and talks to her in a very patronizing way, as if she was a child who can’t understand things. In 2x07, the confrontation between the two on the expired drugs issue happens and we get to know that the only reason why Kala was given a promotion is because Rajan could profit from her work to engage in illegal activities without her knowing. Kala is obviously furious and he once again acts very poorly. The same dynamic from 2x01 returns, but this time in an even more disgusting way (“Kala, you are even more beautiful when you are upset”). Rajan’s spontaneous reaction is the same as it was in the Christmas Special: careless, unapologetic and blind to the serious damage of his behavior. He realizes once again that he pissed her off (and really badly this time, because she actually walked away from him), so what does he do later? He buys her flowers and acts as if suddenly he was aware of how wrong his business practices were up to this moment – with entire years without even being bothered by the minimum thought of it? Please – and basically tries to manipulate her once again into not leaving their marriage. These are not sincere apologies on his misbehavior (for which he should honestly go to prison). This is just the ultimate attempt to win her back by exploiting her good-hearted nature and awake her pity – which he actually succeeds at, because Kala’s final look at him is one of pity. Once again: man fucks up, buys things, gets rewarded with pity and forgiveness, and it all gets repeated. This is a toxic relationship, it’s basically the cycle of abuse (more so knowing that she doesn’t even love him). At last, in 2x11 she is finally ready to talk things through with him, and for the umpteenth time he shuts her down and makes it about him (1x06 much? This is how he has always related to her). This marriage was a complete disaster up to 2x11, with many unresolved issues and unhealthy dynamics. These spouses were strangers to each other: Rajan never cared about knowing Kala as a person because he never loved her, but fell in love with the idea of owning her and showing her off; Kala never cared about developing a serious bond with Rajan because she never loved him and always considered her marriage as a duty to oblige to for her parents’ satisfaction. Rajan manipulated Kala for the entire show and constantly lied to her during all Season 02, Kala hid things from him – including an affair – for the entire show as well. Their relationship had problems such as sexism, objectification, lack of trust, lack of intimacy, lack of conversation, dishonesty, power imbalance, and none of them were resolved or clarified (let alone even addressed in the finale). Rajan was a terrible husband to Kala because he is a despicable person; Kala was a terrible wife to Rajan as well because she didn’t love him.

#3. The ending:

Pretended that their relationship was always healthy and almost unproblematic.

Depicted Kala as the only one in the couple held responsible for their relationship issues (“and I thought I was the one with the big secrets”). Sexist writing.

Completely erased Rajan’s 23-episodes-widespread misbehavior as if it never occurred, turning him suddenly in the best husband ever (ironically the way he was always depicted by his society).

Assassinated Kala’s whole personality and especially her bravery awakening arc in Season 02 which was the core of her whole character.

Turned Kala’s internal conflict with her culture into a love indecision between two men out of nowhere.

Depicted her as happy and willing to stay in a toxic relationship with a man she never loved out of gratitude and because he proved to be a “good guy”, despite this being the very exact reason why she could never fall for him since the beginning. Inconsistent writing.

Sold us the hysterical idea that someone as selfish, possessive and disrespectful of women as Rajan would agree to share his wife (which he considers a possession) with somebody else.

Completely destroyed Wolfgang’s whole personality and role in Kala’s growth and storyline, but this is not meant to be a post about him.

Hinted us many times – especially in the last half-hour – about Kala giving even more importance to Rajan than Wolfgang, which is completely incoherent with everything we learned about these three characters in the previous 23 episodes (and in the rest of this episode as well), to the point that it looked like she eventually kept him around just to spice things up in the bedroom with her husband, who she never even wanted to be touched by before. Wild writing.

So, I guess Kalagang fans have, in fact, every right to be grossed out by this resolution and complain about it without being laughed at and dismissed with the “it’s just a ship” comments. Kalagang was not “just a ship” happening between two characters in the background of their character arcs, as many other ships are: it was at the core of their character arcs. This was not a love story, but a love storyline. It was character-defining. Fucking up that destroyed both their characters. I think this post highlights that ours are not shallow complaints. What happened in the finale was offensive and extremely serious and problematic. Stop saying we should be grateful for it.

[nhouvang-blog]

Pankaj and I first met in graduate school, by way of introduction from a mutual friend. Over the course of several months, our friendship blossomed. He asked me to go on a date with him several times; I was initially skeptical, but eventually conceded. I still remember staying up all night after our first date, talking about our families, our shared love of travel, and our life’s ambitions. It was as if we had known each other in a previous lifetime. We knew right away that we wanted to marry each other, but, of course, the actual proposal came years later. Ultimately, I found myself marrying my best friend and the man of my dreams.

What was your wedding style/theme/colors & how did it represent the two of you: Our goal was to create a magical, memorable, elegant experience for our family and friends, that was a true reflection of ourselves, our love, and our gratitude. The entire process really was a labor of love. Pankaj and I are both very detail-oriented people, so we poured our time and energy into making the wedding weekend an experience that everyone would remember forever. We brought on board Beth Helmstetter and Madeline Hunter, of Beth Helmstetter Events, to bring our ambitious vision to life. Beth’s creativity inspires me and she has such vast experience with luxury destination events; we knew that she was the one right away. Even now, several months after our wedding, we still receive countless compliments on how beautiful and meticulously planned the wedding was. The credit for that goes to her – she and her team are extraordinary. All events were held at the Ritz Carlton Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara, California. We wanted every event to be distinctly different from the others in terms of mood, décor, and color palette. The resort has such a striking beauty of its own, so it was important for us to keep the décor elegant yet simple, to enhance the natural beauty of the surroundings without competing with it. We were fortunate to be able to take over the resort for the weekend, so that all guests could be hosted on property to create a unified experience. The staff was amazing and took great care of our guests, which meant a lot to us.

The wedding was held over an extended weekend in September 2018. The events were as follows: Intimate mehendi gathering on Wednesday AM. The wedding festivities started with a small mehendi gathering on Wednesday afternoon. This was an informal event for family before the rest of the guests started to arrive. It was held in a private villa overlooking the ocean. The goal was to have my mehendi ready by Thursday night, so I could move around and enjoy the Welcome Party the following night. Vaishali Gordhan, of Henna by Vaish, was my mehendi artist. She has a wonderful energy and she did a beautiful job of bring my creative vision to life. We used fleur-de-lis motifs to symbolize the city of Paris, where Pankaj and I got engaged, and wave patterns to symbolize Santa Barbara. In the end, Vaish captured our love story beautifully through her art. I wore a crimson colored silk slip-dress and an off the shoulder blush cashmere cropped sweater. I paired it with mother’s vintage pearl and diamond necklace and earrings. The hair and makeup were natural.

Welcome dinner and Mehendi Party on Thursday PM: The Welcome Dinner was on Thursday night. It was a fun, summery, bohemian inspired event that was held in a private, enclosed lawn space on the resort for our closest family and friends. The space was decorated with suspended, hanging lights and hundreds of candles and lanterns. We had one long dinner table, which was draped with block print textiles and mismatched china. Centerpieces featured florals with feathers in dusty tones, periwinkle, and pale blush interspersed with gold lanterns and wooden bowls of heaping nuts and fruit. A separate lounge area with polished ivory furniture paired with mismatched block printed pillows and Persian rugs was created for guests who wished to get their mehendi done. Dinner featured a farm-to-table family style menu, incorporating seasonal produce local to the region. Guests especially loved that Ronobir Lahiri played renditions of modern songs on his sitar, filling the air with beautiful and mystical sounds. Pankaj wore a draped, mousepeach colored jersey kurta, with silk churidar style pants. He paired it with a mousepeach and silver brocade vest. All were from Shantanu & Nikhil. Accessories included an Omega watch, which was an engagement gift to him from my parents, and Grecian-style sandals by Joy. I wore a custom JADE by Monica and Karishma organza wrap blouse with a matching netted ivory and nude lehenga skirt. I paired it with champagne wedges and a Whiting & Davis silver clutch. Jewelry included Tiffany & Co gold leaf, pearl, and white diamond earrings and necklace. I paired this with my grandmother’s vintage gold and pearl bangles.

Wedding Ceremony on Saturday AM: The wedding ceremony was on Saturday morning, on a lawn overlooking the ocean. The celebrations commenced with a baraat procession around the resort property, which led into the wedding ceremony. Upon arrival to the ceremony, guests were greeted with rose water lemonade. The Hindu ceremony took place under an 18 foot mandap made of a light mango wood. Overgrown blooms in shades of deep red, fuchsia, aubergine, blush pink, and cream were wrapped around the mandap, giving the appearance that they had been there for years. The stage was covered in layered rugs in the same color palette. The ceremony was adapted to include our personal vows and ended with a kiss. Following this, guests enjoyed brunch overlooking the ocean. Pankaj wore an ivory sherwani from Sabyasachi, paired with a matching ivory raw silk kurta and churidar pants. In keeping with the tradition of his family, he wore an ivory silk safa tied in a traditional Rajasthani style. He paired it with ivory suede loafers from Joy, a vintage emerald kalgi brooch, and an emerald necklace. He looked so handsome! Originally, for my wedding day, I wanted to be a non-traditional Indian bride and wear a muted palette. However, as the setting of the ceremony was finalized, we realized that a more vibrant color would be more striking with the blue sky and ocean as our backdrop. I ultimately decided to wear a red and gold lehenga from one of my favorite designers, Sabyasachi. It was traditionally inspired, but with a modern feel – a perfect representation of who I am as a person. The blouse had a sweetheart neckline and the chiffon dupattas had playful gold polka-dots. The all-over golden embroidery featured an intricate paisley pattern. I paired it with gold wedges. My mom and I made a special trip to Hyderabad, the city in India where she was raised, to pick out my wedding jewelry. I ultimately decided on a set from Kishandas & Co, a heritage jeweler in Hyderabad. I wore a maang tikka headpiece, earrings, collar choker/necklace, and bangles featuring raw, uncut diamonds, emeralds, and pearls in yellow gold. It was exquisite and complemented the lehenga perfectly. The whole experience of picking it out with my Mom was a memory I will treasure forever. Bridesmaids wore couture saris designed by me, in collaboration with Megha Rao of holiCHIC. Groomsmen wore bespoke raw silk kurta-churidar sets arranged by Mallika Oberoi, an upcoming Mumbai-based designer. She was incredibly resourceful for our wedding outfit preparations!

Reception on Saturday PM: The reception was held later that evening. This was a formal affair with women in summery gowns and men in summer suits. We wanted it to feel like an intimate dinner party with 250 of our closest friends and family –it was romantic and elegant. Cocktail hour was held at sunset, on a bluff overlooking the ocean. Grey tarnished bars were donned with saturated blooms repurposed from the ceremony. Guests were greeted with custom cocktails and treated to sounds from Ybarra, a local Spanish guitarist. Guests were then escored to the Bacara ballroom, which was draped with a soft grey velvet. Half of the tables were light wood, and the other half were linened with a luxurious textured linen in shades of cream. We used a combination of cream velvet, rose velvet, and X backed wooded chairs. The tabletop featured gold leaf china with gold flatware and classic glassware. Centerpieces featured blooms in shades of lavender, blush, and aubergine. Blush and grey taper candles were placed in gold holders, with tealights in rose colored glass votives. We especially loved the chandelier with overgrown green foliage and twinkle lights, and the custom leaf-printed gobo projection over the dance floor. The rest of the room was filled with potted plants and trees, in keeping with my vision of bringing the outdoors in. One of the most special memories was our first dance, which was to “La Vie en Rose.” Anthony Ybarra, a local Spanish guitarist, was kind enough to play this for us. Pankaj and I had spent countless hours with our choreographer, practicing every turn and twirl. But, in that moment, nothing else mattered – it was just the two of us, husband and wife for the first time. This was followed by sentimental toasts from our parents, our siblings, and our closest friends. Shortly thereafter, guests jumped on the dance floor and didn’t stop partying until 2 am! The afterparty consisted of guests wrapped in blankets, under the stars, enjoying late-night snacks. It will be a night to be remembered for years to come! Pankaj worked closely with the Executive Chef at Bacara to develop a custom-plated Indian-inspired menu using local ingredients. Our triple-berry wedding cake was brought in from Sweet Lady Jane, one of our favorite LA bakeries. Pankaj wore a made-to-measure tuxedo from Tom Ford and woven leather shoes from Lanvin. He paired it with his Omega watch, and his David Yurman black diamond wedding band. I wanted to wear a soft pastel shade to complete the romantic feel of the event, and a modern silhouette that would contrast with my previous looks. In the end, I wore a custom blush version of the Sunset Gown by Naeem Khan. It was so special to be able to visit his atelier in New York and work with the team on this special dress. It featured a deep cowl neck at the back, and intricate crystal beading that shimmered under the candlelight. I paired it with a custom a yellow diamond bracelet, cocktail ring, and earrings. Shoes were from the French designer Jonak, and sourced from their store just steps away from where we got engaged in Paris. Clutch was from Inge Christopher.

For us, the most special parts were: -Milni: This is the Sanskrit word for “meeting” and is an opportunity for the family of the bride and groom to welcome each other. Our mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and elders greeted each other, exchanging smiles and garlands of roses. It was really special to see their willingness to embrace one another.

-Vows: Somehow, in the all the last-minute preparations leading up to the weekend, I had forgotten to write my vows. I remember well staying up late to write them on the night before our wedding. Once I put the pen to paper, though, the thoughts flowed freely. It was very special to be able to share these promises to one another, in front of our friends and family.

What about your venue made it “the” place: Pankaj and I had always fancied a destination wedding. We really wanted to create something special and memorable for our guests, who would be flying in from all over the world. We explored several destinations, but ultimately kept coming back to Santa Barbara. We have a long-standing tradition of visiting every year: it’s stunning and picturesque, but also feels familiar and intimate. It’s one of our favorite places, and we wanted our family and friends to fall in love with it just as we did many years ago.

What flowers were used in your bouquet: The bouquet featured blooms in shades of fuchsia, raspberry, burgundy, nude, and pale blush. Holly, our florist, affixed lockets containing photos of each of my late grandparents on their wedding days at the base of the bouquet. This was a really special way to include them in the festivities.

What from your wedding was DIY: One of the most fun aspects of wedding planning was preparing for the Sangeet dances. We had a joint dance for Pankaj and I, a bridesmaid dance, a groomsmen dance, and then one huge group dance.

We hired a local choreographer, Ana Perales of Get Amped Entertainment, to help us create Western choreography to several of our favorite Bollywood songs. Most of our bridal party didn’t have dance backgrounds, so we were really humbled by everyone’s willingness to participate. It was endearing to see how focused and eager they were to master the moves! The whole process brought us much closer together as friends.

Most memorable moment from the day: One of my favorite memories was our first look, which took place on a private bluff overlooking the ocean. The clouds were clearing, and the sun was breaking through; there was something so beautiful about it. At the time, it felt like some sort of blessing. In that moment, there was a rush of emotions. I’ll never forget the look in Pankaj’s eyes – we couldn’t hold back our tears of love and joy. We had both been dreaming about the day for so long. Now, in hindsight, we never could have anticipated how that moment would change our level of commitment to one another and solidify us as a team, ready to take on the adventures of life ahead, hand in hand. Another really special moment was the Father Daughter/ Mother Son Dance during the Reception. Pankaj and I wanted to recognize the special role our parents have played in our lives. Without them, we wouldn’t be who we are today. In an effort to acknowledge them for that, we did a Father-Daughter/ Mother-Son Dance. While the dance itself was space, the preparation for it was arguable more memorable. We took two joint dance classes at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio in Santa Barbara during the week leading up to the wedding. There were lots of smiles and laughter (and crushed toes)!

How long it took you to plan & the biggest hurdle you overcame: We planned our wedding over the course of a year and a half. Pankaj and I are both physicians, and our unpredictable work schedules would have made it hard to plan any quicker. For us, it was just the right amount of time to be thoughtful about our decisions and mindful of the guest experience. The biggest hurdle was learning to reconcile our differences of opinion. In the end, we compromised and our weekend really was the best reflection of both of us. We are both very proud of what we accompanied. I am in tears every time I look thought our photos and watch our highlight film! I believe that planning a wedding represents the first of many challenges in life, and it’s important to remember that things won’t always go as planned. That’s OK. Focus on what is most important: the commitment to love each other unconditionally and to prioritize each other above all else. Stay positive and forward-thinking. Having all of your loved ones in the same place to celebrate one of the most special moments in your life is priceless. Other advise would be to put yourself in the shoes of the guests. They have come long and far to celebrate this day with you. How can you make the experience enjoyable and seamless for them? When planning your bridal looks, start as soon as you can. It takes a lot of time to produce, ship, and alter these garments. And, on top of that, you need accessories for multiple outfits. Decide early and order well in advance! Meet in person with key professionals that will be with you throughout the weekend. You want to make sure that you are surrounded by the right kind of positive energy during that time. When it came to assembling the rest of our team (photography, videography, makeup artist, priest), we were very discerning. I had a particular vision of how I wanted things to look and be captured, so I spent a lot of time researching, meeting with, and selecting the right people to make it happen. They all did a wonderful job.

The post MEGHNA + PANKAJ // Santa Barbara Wedding Photography by Lauren & Abby Ross appeared first on South Asian Bride Magazine.

[everythingsarcasticwastaken]

Romance of Sui and Tang: Sui Dynasty Princesses

Colored in the paintchainer website.

Historically, Emperor Wen of Sui and Empress Dugu are known to have five daughters. Four of them have been named and are also pictured here. The two remaining figures are apocryphal. There are no contemporary portraits of any of the women from the Sui Dynasty, so I made up my own designs, based somewhat off of the terracotta figures and murals of the period.

 From left to right, they are: Yang Li-Hua the Princess Leping (historical), Princess Guangping (historical), Princess Xiangguo (historical), Princess Miaoyang (legend), Yang A-Wu the Princess Lanling (historical), and Princess Qionghua (legend).

Yang Li-Hua: Appears in Book of Sui, Northern Histories, and Book of Zhou. The eldest daughter of Emperor Wen, she was married at a young age to the second-to-last emperor of the Northern Zhou Dynasty. Her husband was one of the worst tyrants of his generation, but Li-Hua herself was a kind, gentle, graceful woman. Their marital spats grew to the point that he tried to kill her. Fortunately, he died after only ruling for a year. The Sui Emperor Yang Jian became regent because he was the father of the now Empress Dowager, and he soon seized the throne, established the Sui Dynasty, and put most of the royal family of the Northern Zhou to the sword. Li-Hua spent the rest of her life mourning the loss of her husband, her son, and her kingdom, but unable to hate her birth family. Instead, she led a quiet and lonely life as a widow, devoting her energies to raising her remaining daughter and grandchildren. Because she was a widow and a remnant of a vanquished dynasty, I drew her dressed in austere colors, her clothes in the fashion of the Northern Zhou, wistfully observing her sisters’ antics.

Princess Guangping: Appears by name in an appendix to the Biography of Yuwen Qing, found in both Book of Sui and Northern Histories. She married Yuwen Qing’s son Yuwen Jing-Li, but her husband died young. Her youngest son Yuwen Xiao was raised in the imperial palace by her brother Emperor Yang of Sui. When he reached adulthood, he was kept on as a court favorite, and if I might guess, some sort of male lover. He used his position to behave inappropriately with the palace maids, and even made flirtations toward Emperor Yang’s princesses. Yet Emperor Yang never punished him for his behavior. Since Yuwen Xiao was so irresistible, his mother must have also been a charming, vivacious person. She’s dressed in bright colors and has a confident smile. Her hairstyle comes from a Taoist stele from the end of the Northern Zhou period and is adorned with two jade double prong clips and comb. She wears a golden hinged jade bracelet and carries a metal perfume censer.

Princess Xiangguo: Appears by name in the Book of Sui in an appendix to the Biography of Li Yan. She married Li Zhangya, grandson of the Grand Marshal Pillar of the Nation Li Bi, nephew of the aforementioned Li Yan. He was commissioned as the Military Governor of Qinzhou, an area directly to the west of the Capital, facing the area of Tibet and Middle East and all the myriad kingdoms in the region. It was a crucial area that had to be guarded carefully, so Li Zhangya and the Princess must have have had a certain position of trust within the imperial court. The only other mention of her is in her sister A-wu’s biography, noting that she, along with the two other middle sisters, behaved arrogantly due to their high positions. She was a devout Buddhist, and one of her hand-copied sutra scrolls survive into the modern day. Thus, I’ve portrayed her as serene and literate. To reflect her husband’s position, her jewelry has more steppe nomad influences. She has a golden bull’s head ring and bracelet of jingle bells around her wrist, along with typical Chinese style bangle and a pair of golden “tiaotuo”/”chuan”, spring-clasped helical bangles copied from ancient India. Her golden chain necklace decorated with ornaments in the shape of weapons (billhook, halberd, axe) is an steppe nomad style that remained popular into the Tang Dynasty. Her fur headband is called “mo-e” or “wa-e”, both meaning “forehead covering”. At first, the forehead covering as a primitive and practical accessory used by northern nomads to keep their heads warm. Usually it was a band of cloth or fur, which could be decorated with brocade, or with gold ornaments sewn on. Toward the Ming dynasty, it became a pure fashion statement, consisting of a chain of jewels tied around the head. Finally, in her hair, Princess Xiangguo has two golden clips and a “buyao”, a hairpin shaped like a tree branch, covered in delicate golden ornaments that moved and rustled with the wearer’s every step.

Princess Miaoyang: She appears in legends surrounding Mount Cangyan. Since she was born, she was afflicted with runny bowels and a skin condition, an unhealthy, not to mention unattractive combination that put a hamper on her marriage prospects. At their wits’ end, her parents heard of a miraculous healing spring deep in the heart of Mount Cangyan, and sent Miaoyang over in hopes of finally finding a cure. Miaoyang was indeed healed after her bath in the mountain spring, but was so impressed with the miracle that she had a religious epiphany and decided to become a nun. Her parents were pious Buddhists, so they built her a temple right next to the spring and gave her custody of both. She then adopted a pet monkey, and after many years, they reached nirvana together. I drew her lesions and all, holding a small rosary. The Sui Dynasty’s most distinctive hairdo, the strange flattened cloud shaped bun, might have been an trend that started in Southern China. China was only unified a few years into Emperor Wen’s reign, so the three older princesses dress in Northern Dynasty trends. The younger Miaoyang has the trendiest hairstyle. Her hairpin is a kingfisher feather ornament called “diancui”. It was one of the few luxuries allowed at the notably frugal and modest court of Emperor Wen.

Yang A-Wu: Appears in Book of Sui. Her name means simply “the fifth.” She was the youngest out of the five sisters, and the smartest and most sweet-tempered and modest. She was her brother, the future Emperor Yang’s favorite sister. She first married Wang Fengxiao. After he died, she had a failed engagement to Xiao Yang, before finally marrying a man called Liu Shu. They were a happy couple, and A-Wu fulfilled her wifely duties excellently. She was a loving wife and a filial daughter-in-law. Emperor Wen liked his young son-in-law very much, and elevated him to high positions in his government. Unfortunately, Liu Shu was an arrogant man who let his personal grudges get in the way of his work. He mistreated his subordinates and made enemies out of superiors, including the most powerful man in the government, Yang Su. He was one of Emperor Wen’s confidants during the final days of his life, and had the misfortune to be caught in the Crown Prince’s coup against the Emperor. When Crown Prince ascended as Emperor Yang of Sui, he exiled Liu Shu to Canton. A-wu pleaded to be exiled alongside him, but Emperor Yang refused and forced her to divorce her husband, exclaiming in frustration, “Are there no other men in the world, that you must stay married to him?” The princess refused to even consider another suitor, and soon entered into a deep depression and died. The Emperor refused to mourn and buried her with few honors, but everyone throughout the realm pitied her misfortune. Here, she has not yet reached adulthood, and has long to go before her tragic romance. At the age of 15 (or before marriage for aristocratic women), ancient Chinese women underwent a coming of age called the hairpin ceremony. Before that, they were not supposed to wear hairpins or clips, and wore their hair in simple, symmetrical styles such as the bun and hoop combo shown here.

Princess Qionghua: She appears in legend as a heavily warped version of Princess Lanling. Due to Emperor Yang’s prior affection for A-Wu and his final mistreatment of her, rumors started that he actually harbored an incestuous infatuation for her. From there, the stories mutated into the story of a fictional youngest princess, Princess Qionghua. Like her namesake, the Chinese snowball flower, she was delicate and short-lived. On the cusp of maturity, she was strolling in the gardens one day when her brother saw her and was so infatuated that he made advances on her. She was so humiliated that she killed herself. Like Princess Lanling, she is shown as a happy, innocent child.

[pattie-remembers]

Famous muse Pattie Boyd says she neglected herself in her rock star marriages

10 April 2018 — 10:21am

If you remember the '60s, you weren't there: so it is said of that explosive decade of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll when girls sashayed down the Kings Road in tiny skirts and Biba boots, boys wore ruffled shirts over tight velvet trousers and London was the epicentre of cool.

Oblivion came with the territory: Eric Clapton was supposed to have slept with more than 1000 women but as he told me in an interview for Fairfax Media, "I wouldn't know, I was in a blackout for quite a few of them".

George Harrison and wife Pattie Boyd.

Photo: Keystone Pictures USA / Alamy Stock Photo

Pattie Boyd was both muse and wife to Clapton, to George Harrison before him and no stranger to drug and booze-fuelled partying. But there was little danger of failing memory for her. She kept a record of the wild years – portraits and reportage style snaps taken with a Polaroid and, later, on a Hasselblad.

As fans and paparazzi clamoured at the door, Boyd had the inside track, hanging out with The Beatles and friends, at home with George, on tour with Eric. "I took endless photos," she says. "It was something to do, otherwise you could feel a bit spare."

Pattie Boyd and her then husband George Harrison in England in 1968.

Photo: Pattie Boyd

We are talking in her Kensington flat ahead of an exhibition of her photographs and a series of speaking engagements in Australia in May. I'd spent several minutes on the rather grand doorstep, repeatedly ringing the bell and wondering if I'd got the wrong address. Perhaps she'd been having a nap; she is 74 after all and it is that snoozy, post-lunch time of day when I often feel like one myself. She does seem quite dreamy, half-heartedly remonstrating with a friendly Irish terrier called Freddie who inspects me thoroughly before jumping onto a large pouffe, not quite as pristine white as the matching sofas. "He's allowed on that one," she says.

Boyd is wearing skinny jeans on her long, slim legs and a deep blue mohair jumper; a fall of blonde hair frames what is still recognisably the face that launched, not a thousand ships, but three of the greatest love songs of the 20th century.

George Harrison wrote Something in the first flush of his youthful marriage to Boyd; the soaring guitar chords of Layla expressed Clapton's yearning obsession with his friend's wife. Then, when he had won her, he wrote Wonderful Tonight – and who hasn't danced dreamily to that, wrapped in a lover's arms?

There is a photograph of a 19-year-old Boyd in the flat: blonde fringe, huge blue mascara'd eyes and a tiny Union Jack stuck on the end of her nose. It is from a weighty coffee table book, Birds of Britain, containing portraits of London's posh totty – society girls who roamed the bars and vintage clothes stalls of Chelsea. Boyd's face is on the cover.

George Harrison, 1968

Photo: Pattie Boyd

She was a model then, on the run from her dysfunctional family, broke and living on Birds Eye chicken pies in a shared flat. "You had to go round the photographers persuading them to use you for shoots," she says. "Norman Parkinson said, 'Come back when you've learned to do your hair.' It was all DIY hair and make up back then."

Did photographers hit on her? "Well some might try it on but you didn't submit and say, 'Oh must I?' You'd get out of there and warn the others." So it wasn't a #MeToo scene? "No! I don't know why these women don't just say, 'F--k off, I'm not having a meeting with you in your dressing gown with nothing on underneath.'" Is she a feminist? "Well not in the old 'hate men' way, but I don't like women being treated badly. I think the young generation – what are they called, snowflakes? – don't take responsibility for themselves."

George Harrison and Eric Clapton in England in 1976.

Photo: Pattie Boyd

She met George Harrison on the set of A Hard Day's Night – she played a schoolgirl – and they married when she was 21. They moved into Friar Park, a gothic pile in Hampshire where the Beatles came to record, friends drove from London to stay and she threw herself into decorating, cooking and entertaining. She was, she says, blissfully in love but often lonely: wives and girlfriends were not allowed on tour and Harrison was frequently absent. After the Beatles had discovered the Maharishi Yogi and they all went to India to learn meditation, Harrison returned gripped by eastern mysticism. "He chanted a lot," she recalls, "it's difficult to talk to someone who's chanting."

He had also discovered that he was attractive to women: "He was famous, good-looking, had tonnes of money and flash cars – what a combo. Girls were offering themselves everywhere and he loved it. To come home to old wifey must have been a bit dull."

I took endless photos. It was something to do, otherwise you could feel a bit spare.

Does she think all men would be like that if they could? "Yes I do," she says firmly. What constrains them? She shrugs: "Society, women, family?"

Eric Clapton had been a frequent visitor to Friar Park, laying siege to Boyd and, famously, playing a guitar "duel" with Harrison in the kitchen: she was the putative prize. "It was John Hurt [the actor] who described it as a duel," she says, "and he was so on the button. I sensed it but I hadn't formulated it."

She was attracted to Clapton, by then a rock deity – the legend "Clapton is God" was spray-painted on city walls – but determined to stay in her marriage. Her parents had split up when she was 10, her stepfather was a cruel and unusual man who tyrannised the family and left her mother for another woman: "As a child I always thought I would do anything to avoid divorce."

By the time she left Harrison – "He didn't want us to be together, it was a life of rejection" – Clapton had made good on his threat to take heroin if he couldn't have her. It would be four years before they got together.

Propped on an easel beside the window of Boyd's flat is a rather beautiful black and white photograph of John Lennon. Did she take it? "No, I bought it." Wasn't he the most interesting of the four? "He was, yes, he was. He was quite volatile, you never knew what he would say next. He was a pretty sexy guy actually." Did they have a fling? "No!" she exclaims. I explain I'd seen it suggested somewhere in a newspaper article. "How cheeky," she says comfortably. Later, reading her autobiography published in 2007, I find another reference to the rumoured liaison. True or not, I don't think she minds the idea.

Boyd and Clapton married in 1979: "I was madly passionate about him," she says. "We lived at Hurtwood Edge [Clapton's home for the past 50 years], I was in my 30s and ready to have babies; I used to wander round the house thinking, this will be the baby's room, the nanny can sleep here." But it was not to be: despite visits to a series of doctors and several rounds of IVF, the longed-for baby never arrived.

Clapton, meanwhile, had replaced heroin with alcohol and was drinking heroically. Boyd joined him on tour where he and the band would have girls to their rooms after the show. Cruellest of all, two of his extra-marital relationships produced babies: a daughter Ruth and two years later a son, Conor, who would die, aged four, in a fall from the window of his mother's New York apartment. Boyd and Clapton divorced in 1988.

Asked once who was the great love of her life, Boyd nominated Harrison: "I think he always loved me … Eric loves himself. She admits now: "In both my marriages I had neglected myself, and got lost in a big cloud of fame, I got lost in their lives."

When the music stopped Boyd found herself with a legacy – cardboard boxes full of photographs which she exhibits and sells as prints from her online gallery. They are the archive of an era: here is an angelic George lying in bed in an Indian ashram, Eric in a woodshed leaning on an axe and looking Lawrentian in corduroy trousers, Paul and Linda McCartney at Boyd's wedding to Eric, Anita Pallenberg and Marianne Faithfull at the Brixton Academy. They are candid and intimate: did anyone ever object? "No, not at all," she says, surprised, "I would never show a photo where someone's not looking good."

The collection has been a useful earner for the girl who left school with three O levels and had no need to work while married to rich men. She has continued to take photographs – portraits of actors for their books and pictures from her travels. Does the contemporary work sell? "No one's really interested," she says without rancour.

Freddie needs a walk so we put on coats and set off for Holland Park where the trees are still leafless but there are daffodils and a hint of spring. Boyd has been with her partner, property developer Rod Weston, for 20 years – "we are old friends" – and they wed in 2015. They share the Kensington flat and a cottage in Sussex bought for her by Clapton. Why did they decide to marry? "We have lots of nieces and nephews between us," she says, "we wanted to put everything in order so there wouldn't be any tears." We walk on a few paces: "It's funny," she says, "Rod has been much nicer since we married and I am happier and less selfish. I didn't anticipate that."

She remained friends with Harrison until his death from cancer in 2001 and has stayed in touch with Clapton, many years sober and married with three more children. Last year she accompanied him to the launch of a documentary about him, A Life in 12 Bars, in which she features, naturally. "He rang me and said, 'It's a bit raw Pattie, I hope you'll be OK.' I said, 'I'll be fine Eric. I'm a grown-up now."

George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me: An Evening with Pattie Boyd will be held at Sydney's Four Seasons Hotel on May 15. Boyd's work will be shown at the Blender Gallery in Paddington from May 5 to June 2 as part of the Head On Photo Festival.

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https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/music/famous-muse-pattie-boyd-says-she-neglected-herself-in-her-rock-star-marriage-20180409-h0yi6e.html

[ashapurajewels]

Best Sterling Silver Jewelry Gift for Your Loved Ones

A gift that no way goes out of style is jewelry. This is good for any and every occasion. Jewelry is the perfect gift for anniversaries, valentine's day, a coming of age present for your child, and as a token of regard for your parents. Jewellery comes in many forms, materials, and settings. One of the most beautiful and long-lasting types is sterling silver jewelry.

Also called pure silver, sterling silver contains other metals to make it flexible for jewelry. Mostly silver jewelry comes in 925 sterling silver. We offer a wide collection of sterling silver jewelry such as rings, earrings, pendants, necklaces, bracelets, and more.

Before deciding to spend your hard-earned money on a sterling silver ring or jewelry, there are factors to consider, One important factor is the percentage of pure silver contained in the jewellery. Sterling silver jewelry contains 92.5% pure silver. Silver coins only need 90%. Look for authenticity trademarks stamped somewhere in the piece. You do not want to pay a lot of money for jewelry that is not silver.

When it comes to design, find a silver sterling ring that is wearable and understated. Some designs tend to be flashy and only match certain kinds of dresses or occasions. A classic ring is a perfect accessory if it is the right design. Some jewelry pieces can go with casual jeans and fabulous gowns. If possible, use a jeweler's loop to see if there are flaws in the piece. Examining jewelry closely before buying will save you from wasting your money.

The long-lasting property of this silver ring makes it suitable for everyday use. In fact, sterling silver tarnishes faster in storage. This makes it an excellent metal for engagement rings and wedding bands. One of the best things about sterling silver is its affordability. Other precious metals like gold and platinum are too expensive to wear all the time. Most are too fancy and eye-catching and may come off as unrefined when you wear it with the wrong attire or worn on the wrong occasion.

Sterling silver jewelry, however, tarnishes over time. Fine silver does not oxidize like most precious metals such as gold. Its base metal, usually copper, attracts the tarnish. Polishing the pieces regularly keeps them shiny. Older pieces in storage may need polishing paste readily available in jewelry.

When you cannot think of a present to show you care, consider sterling silver jewelry. They are durable, beautiful, and effortlessly classy. The last lifetime if you care for them well enough. Some of them even appreciate over time. Jewelry is not only for women of a certain age. Men and young people appreciate a good piece of jewelry, too. You do not even have to wait for a special occasion. Show your loved one how much you care through jewelry.

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The History and Evolution of the Irish Bodhran

At the beginning of every lecture I try to keep it light and engage with all the students. To get the students attention I’ve come up with a fun approach. I start by saying “The facts you are about to hear are all lies!�� It definitely grabs their attention immediately and I have 150 faces looking at me blankly!

My statement is of course not true. However, I’ve spent many years researching the bodhrán and honestly I’ve learned that there is no definitive history of the bodhran in Ireland. We can only rely on word of mouth (more like Chinese whispers), handed down through the years by the many generations.

The information and stories we hear are all narrated to us by our parents and grandparents. In other words, the history of the bodhrán is only hearsay. We have little concrete information.

If you research the history of the bodhran online, you will come across several quite varied opinions of the drum’s roots. Many claim it is an ancient druidic drum. Below are some of the theories which exist.

A trade route for the bodhrán could be traced back to over several millennia ago. The trade route may have been in Persia. This is supposedly where the drum frame originated.

The reason people believe the drum originated from Persia is due to its use for the act of winnowing, or separating seeds. This seems the most likely source, as this is what provided the basic drum for most of the other frame drumming cultures.

More recently, it’s believed that the bodhran may have come from North Africa. Frame drums are very popular in this region and are usually played by hand. This North African instrument, called the bendir was played in Ancient Egypt. As Ireland traded with Mediterranean countries, this makes it a likely theory.

This theory is based on use of the bodhran as a tool for dyeing wool. It’s believed that the rim could have been made of bent willow with the skin stretched and tied over the circular willow, then punctured to allow the dye to pass through. The popular colours for dyeing would have been purple (from the flower of the heather), green (from vegetables) and orange (from carrots). Purple and green are known as the Celtic colours.

Interestingly, the bodhran was also used in battle as a war drum. This was to raise the temper of the fighting men against the enemy.

The bodhran was first mentioned in folklore. this comes from our grandparents and they probably heard it from their grandparents and this was with regards to The Wren. The Wren is said to have been a pagan ritual, so we presume the bodhrán was used around the 18th century, however it may have been introduced centuries before that, there’s no evidence of how far back it goes.

John B Keane wrote a book called the The Bodhrán Makers, it’s a good novel, however it’s not a history book! After years of research, it’s remarkable that there’s still no written history in existence and at this stage most likely there never will be.

We know that the bodhrán has been in existence for many years, it’s now as popular as ever, but what made it so popular those many years ago?

After doing much research, I found the basis of what made the bodhrán so popular and ironically it was used as a beat played to the music on the day of The Wren, also known as Saint Stephen’s Day, which takes place December 26th.

So what was The Wren? It was when a group of men dressed up in straw hats and skirts, they blackened their faces with soot and entertained their local population by going from house to house playing traditional music and dancing in payment for food, money or drink and of course the craic which came with it! They were known as wrenboys, mummers or strawboys. This pagan tradition dates back a millennium, this means if the bodhrán was used, it goes as far back as then.

Legend has it that St Stephen was betrayed by a chattering wren while hiding from his enemies. The wren like St Stephen would be hunted down and stoned to death.

Another legend holds that during the Viking raids of the sixth century, Irish soldiers were betrayed by a wren as they were sneaking up on a Viking camp in the dead of night. The wren began eating crumbs left on a bodhrán drum head and the rat-a-tat-tat of his beak on the drumhead woke the drummer who sounded the alarm. The Irish were subsequently defeated and the wren blamed.

So if The Wren was celebrated as early as the first millennium it is possible that the bodhrán was also around at that time.

The wren the wren the king of all birds,

On Stephens Day was caught in the furze,

Although he is little his family is great,

I pray you lady you give us a treat.

My box would speak if it had only a tongue,

And two or three shillings would do it no wrong,

Sing holly sing ivy-sing ivy sing holly,

A drop just to drink would drown melancholy.

And if you draw it of the best,

I hope in heaven your soul will rest,

But if you draw it of the small,

It won’t agree with these wrenboys at all.

First Recordings of the Bodhrán

The bodhrán was first recorded in the 1920’s, it was recorded on a 78 record. It became popular in the fifties and sixties with the renewal in popularity of traditional Irish music and this gave life to the bodhrán makers of the sixties, such as Sonny Davey from Sligo, Charlie Byrne from Tipperary, Paddy Clancy from Limerick and many more.

Bodhrán-making became a cottage industry. In 1978, I joined the fraternity known as The Bodhrán Makers. An bodhrán was promoted by Seán O’Riada in his arrangements for Ceoltóirí Chualann, who later became The Chieftains, and was preferred by Seán to the snare drum used in the céilí bands.

The word bodhrán could also mean deafner, possibly as the wren boys used it to make a lot of noise. According to John B the wren boys sometimes added flattened pennies to the sides to make a jingle and hence the name bourine, short for tambourine.

The Much Maligned Bodhrán Player

The bodhran is regarded by some with derision, or at best suspicion. There are reasons behind this attitude, though I would obviously disagree myself.

The bodhrán seems easy to play. To the non-musician who wants to be thought of as a musician, the bodhrán would appear to be an easily acquired passport into a select company. Or it may be that he perceives the music as an entertainment with which everyone may, or should, join in. Whatever the motivation, the results are sometimes dreadful; a piano accordion, for example, accompanied by a battering of four or five aspiring bodhrán players, all producing personal variations on what they think is the beat is hardly likely to be music.

On the other hand the bodhrán can give a good lift to a session or to solo playing. The combination of the Irish flute and bodhrán is a well-tried one and many flute players like a good bodhrán accompaniment.

The bodhrán frame is made from a variety of different timbers, the most popular being plywood. The use of crossbars gives added strength to the frame. Goatskin is mainly used, but I have heard of people using a variety of animal skins. Goats are not killed for their skins. The skin is a byproduct. The skins that are used today come from a variety of countries mainly Ireland, North Africa, India and Pakistan.

To finish off, a researcher friend of mine was researching the word bodhrán and believes that it comes from the Irish word bodhraigh, which means anger or aggravate. Relate this to winnowing, the separating of the wheat from the chaff. As the wheat bounced against the skin, the wheat is agitated and the chaff separates. So the agricultural tool used to perform this operation could well be called a bodhrán.

So there you have it. A brief history of the bodhran. Though much information is speculation, this, in my professional opinion, is the most likely history of the bodhran.

If you’re taken with this legendary Irish instrument and want to try it yourself, have a read of my Expert Guide to Buying a Bodhran. It will teach you everything you need to know to about the mechanics of this seemingly simple instrument.

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Punjabi customary, folk and bhangra music

Punjabi Folk Music

The music played in the Punjab state and its fringe with customary instruments included. Folk music is the premise of music from any area and classification. The Punjabi folk music has various move and music related with the various phases of life. They have music for birth, birthday festivity, marriage, and demise. The folk music from Punjab have the music for each snapshot of life from the joy to distress. Punjabi folk music can be taken as the mirror into the Punjabi conventions, way of life and history. The music portrays the dedicated idea of the Punjabi men and the valiance they have appeared in the front line. Like each other folk music custom, Punjabi folk music has similar notoriety of introducing its rich culture, history, festivity, and substantially more.

Punjabi folk is joined to individuals and it is the method of communicating their sentiments on various event. In addition to the fact that Punjabi have folk tunes on the existence functions they have tunes about nature, grit, sentiment and celebrations too. The strength of Punjabi folk music is having tunes for each significant snapshots of life. With regards to marriage the Punjabi folk music has tunes and music for various event in marriage. There are melodies for the lady (suhag), the husband to be (Ghorhian and Sehra) and customs of marriage. The lady has a melody for her folks requesting that they locate her better parents in law and home. The melodies are of various length and relying upon the length of the tunes there are depiction of birde, groom, marriage, family and some more.

Folk music for fairs and celebrations

The Punjab music industry is one of the most extravagant. They have tune identified with every party. They have melodies for change of season called as Lohri and Maghi though Visakhi tune is for gathering time. The Punjabi ladies praise the period of Sawan with bunches of customs. The wedded one go to their parental home and they put on vivid mehendi on their hands. They celebrate and hit the dance floor with their companions and family members. The young ladies move is called Giddha.

Topic of folk tunes

Sentimental tunes: There are various Punjabi folk sentiment tunes that are well known among music sweethearts everywhere on the world. Melodies like Jugni, Mahia, Heer Ranjha, Mirza Sahiban and so forth are mainstream sentimental folk tunes from Punjab.

Chivalrous: These sorts of melodies are devoted to the Punjabi legends like Dulla Bhatti, Raju Rasalu depicting their grit and commitment to the Punjabi history.

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Strict: These tunes are sung about celebration, venerates and strict services. The strict Punjabi folk tunes are typically sung with tow conventional instruments; Sarangi and Dhad.

Instruments for folk tunes

Punjabi artists sing their folk tunes unaccompanied or with some musical instruments like dhol, tumbi, dhad, sarangi, gagar, chimta and other customary Punjabi musical instruments.

Bhangra Music

On the off chance that one music kind that is mainstream around the globe today and is the mark move for any Punjabi around the globe than that is Bhangra. Bhangra is really music and move structure that began from Punjab in India. It began in the towns of Punjab when Punjabi ranchers moved observing Visakhi or the Harvest celebration. Simply a famous move structure in Punjab and Assam initially, presently it is well known around the world. It has picked up so much fame that bhangra is presently utilized in the majority of Bollywood motion pictures and in various move shows far and wide.

Move Moves

Bhangra is well known move moves that have energizing music related with it. The move moves in bhangra music are quick with high energy. The artists are dressed with brilliant dresses and have a specific example of moving their hands and legs. Generally this music was the blend of singing with the beat of Dhol drum and ektara. This sound was conventional and folk type. Gradually with time the music has developed as combination of traditional stone and old style Punjabi music. It is exceptionally mainstream among Punjabi people group in the UK, Canada and USA. Bhangra these days has blend of hip jump with traditional Punjabi and has pulled in pool of audience members who are youthful and non-Punjabi.

There has been some contention as there are a few people who trust Punjabi folk music is like bhangra. However, bhangra is unique in relation to Punjabi folk music. Bhangra has rhythms and it contains high energy moves and verses than folk music. Bhangra is well known the world over with a blend of current music instruments engaged with it.

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Gujarati Culture, Dress and Food - The Heart and Soul of Gujarat

The diverse and vibrant state of Gujarat has a significant contribution to the cultural aspect of India. The sheer simplicity and amiability of Gujaratis have made them a flourishing community. The state of Gujarat boasts a vibrant art, architecture, culture, and heritage; all of which is quite evident in the day-to-day lives of the locals. The diversity exhibited by Gujarat is a result of the various ethnic groups constituting Gujarat's population; including Indic and Dravidian groups.

1. Art and Culture of Gujarat

The vast array of handcrafted products displaying intricate Gujarati art forms are not only popular in our country, but are a well-known entity all across the globe. These products include furniture, jewellery, embroidered garments, leatherwork, metalwork, baked clay articles and mirror work. Gujarat serves as the producer of some of the most creative and elegant furnishings that include bedcovers, quilts, cushion covers and table mats. Intricate dainty patterns are woven on the patola sarees with high precision. The traditional art forms of the state play a significant role in preserving its rich heritage.

MusicThe folk music of Gujarat is known as Sugam Sangeet and has acclaimed world-wide fame. The range of musical instruments utilized in Gujarati folk music includes turi, manjira, ektaro, jantar, zanz pot drum, prabhati, dhol and ravan hattho. Bhajans are also incorporated in their folk songs. Bardic tradition is another major type of folk Gujarati music.

Dance Forms

Since Gujarati people are quite enthusiastic and amiable, they have many traditional forms of dance. The four major forms of dance are Dandiya Raas, Garba, Padhar, and Garbi.

Dandiya Raas is performed by both men and women and utilizes the movement of bamboo sticks, known as Dandiyas. It has ancient roots and was believed to be played by the beloved Gopis of Lord Krishna.

Garba is usually performed by the females in a circular formation. It is performed with reverence of the feminine form of the divinity.

Garbi is traditionally performed by only the men and incorporates the use of instruments like dhol and manjiras.

Padhar is mainly performed by the rural communities near Nal Lake.

2. Customs and Traditions of Gujarat

Due to many religions coexisting in the state, Gujaratis believe in various Gods and Goddesses. Embracing different religious faiths, Gujaratis demonstrate a vibrant mix of Hinduism, Islam, Jainism, and Buddhism. This amalgamation of cultures is quite evident in their beliefs, customs, traditions, institutions, and practices. The natives display a balanced lifestyle due to the perfect system of learning, a blend of religious practices and the development of artistic traits.

3. Languages and Religions

Although Gujarati is the mother tongue of the natives of Gujarat, many other languages are widely spoken throughout the state. Gujarati is an Indo-Aryan language derived from Sanskrit and is the 26th most widely used language in the world. Gujarati has about 11 different dialects, spoken in various parts of the state.

Since the state of Gujarat shares its border with Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan; a small section of its population speak the native languages of the neighbouring states, namely Marwari, Marathi, Hindi along with Urdu and Sindhi.

The natives of Kutch-a semi-arid region in Gujarat-speaks Kachchi language, which is quite an important language of the area.

4. Fairs and Festivals

The fairs and festivals of Gujarat showcase the real vibrancy and colours of its diverse culture. Thousands of people flock to Gujarat to witness the extravaganza during festivals like Navratri Mahotsav, Deepawali, Rathyatra and Kite festival. There are some fairs as well that are organized in the state every year, namely- Shamlaji Melo, Bhadra Purnima Fair, and Mahadev Fair. The Rann Utsav is a major festival and witnesses an exquisite carnival of music, dance and natural beauty.

5. Food of Gujarat

A traditional and authentic Gujarati meal consists of dal, roti, rice, vegetables, salad, chaas, farsan followed by a sweet dish. Gujarati cuisine is quite similar to that of Maharashtra, and most of the Gujaratis are vegetarian. Some of the famous Gujarati delicacies include dhokla, fafda, khandvi, dhal Dhokli, Undhiyu, handvo, Ganthia, dal Wada, khakhra, and Thepla. In Gujarati dishes, the flavors are a blend of sweet, spicy and sour tastes. Each region of the state has a distinctive flavor associated with its local food. A typical Gujarati dinner includes bhakri-shak or khichdi-kadhi. The Gujaratis are noted for their sweet tongue, and hence every meal is followed by a sweet dish or sometimes even jaggery.

6. Cultural Dresses of Gujarat

Patola Silk or popularly known as 'Queen of all silks' forms a major part of traditional Gujarati attire. Gujarati brides are adorned with silk and zari woven sarees of Gharchola and Panetar.

The traditional attires often incorporate tie-dye or traditional block prints.

The region of Kutch has a distinctive traditional outfit adorned by women known as Abhas. Chania Cholis are a popular choice of outfit during the festive season of Navratri Mahotsav.

Men also wear unique attire known as Kediya dress during the Navratri season.

A prevalent Gujarati trend is the silver Pachchikam jewellery that originated in Kutch.

7. Gujarati Engagement and Wedding Ceremony

Just like other elements of the Gujarat culture, their wedding ceremony is as elaborate and exciting. With multitudes of ceremonies each with its own significance, sometimes the bride and groom await the marriage ceremony more than the marriage itself.Engagement CeremonyThe engagement ceremony or the 'Gaud Dhana' translates to jaggery and coriander, which will be distributed to the guest. After the exchange of rings, the ceremony ends with the bride's family gifting the groom a box of sweets to represent a sweet relationship. Wedding Ceremony

The wedding ceremony in the Gujarati culture is probably the most awaited event for the couple and its family but for all the guests as well. Like every Indian wedding, the rituals go back to the Vedic times, and the ceremonies kick off with the (Varghodo) wedding procession, that goes from the groom's house to the bride's house where the ceremonies take place. On arrival, the groom is welcomed by the bride's family (Swagatam) after which the bride's father performs a ritual involves him handing over his daughter to the groom (Kanya Daan) in front of the guest. After this, the rituals (Ganesh Puja) commences, this is known as the Vivaan. During the Vivaan, the couple performs the Mangal Phera where they go around the sacred fire and go through the most important part of the ritual, the Saptapadi or the seven sacred steps. The religious part of the ceremony comes to a close with the holy thread (Mangalsutra) being tied around the neck of the bride by the groom and he places the red dot (tika) on the wife's forehead, as a declaration of her new married status (Suhaag). The ceremony comes to a close when the couple goes to the groom's parents who will bless the couple (Aashirvaad).

8. Gujarati Cinema

With strong themes of mythology, history, social and political, the Gujarati cinema industry is different from the approach they have to cinema. Before the industry came into being, during the era of silent movie age, there was already a hoard of movies made on Gujarati culture and its people. More than just a means of entertainment, the Gujarat film industry brings in various forms of cinematic art. A trip to the cinema is a favourite past time amongst the Gujarati locals. Also known as 'Dhollywood' or Gollywood, the industry released its first movie in 1932, Narsinh Mehta.  

The Gujarati community has well preserved their rich traditions and customs that have deep roots in their past. The mingling of the diverse ethnic folks has resulted in a well-balanced community that displays significant qualities like friendliness, liveliness, unity and immense love for their various ancient art forms. The plethora of traditions along with a tinge of modernization sums up the culture of Gujarat.

[floridaindependentblog]

Best Indian Brother Sister Songs for Brother Wedding

Indian weddings are a grand celebration of color, music, dance, and joy to bless the newly wedded with a lifetime of happiness and prosperity. Have you watched Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, the blockbuster of the ’90s? It is a visual treat to take you through the magic of Indian weddings, its music, and dance. Different regions of India follow different customs and traditions for weddings, but everywhere one thing remains common – the colorful exuberance. And, there are songs for each ceremony. The Mehendi ritual, Sangeet, Shagun, or the tearful Vidaai; all are accompanied by melodious songs. Perhaps, the most celebrated among these songs are the musical brother-sister songs for the strong bond and affection they share. Bollywood has paid tribute to this endearing bond by bringing forth several memorable songs for brother wedding.

What is Sangeet in an Indian Wedding?

For Indians, the real party and fun of the wedding begin with Sangeet.  This musical night of song and dance for the families to bond together is held two or three days before the wedding.  Though Sangeet took birth in the Punjabi weddings it was warmly embraced by the other regions as well. The function is arranged at the bride’s home or separate hall to welcome the groom’s side with song and dance. The songs usually surround the bride’s dreams of her new life or parent’s pain in parting with their daughter. The bride is referred to as banni in the songs and groom as banna. The groom’s side also plays several fast numbers from timeless songs for brother wedding. Sangeet has everything in it. Everyone dances at the Sangeet without inhibitions and takes a chance at displaying their talents. In between, the men have a private time to booze a little. And not to forget the sumptuous and delectable food. Henna is the star of Sangeet along with the music. Ladies enjoy getting the beautiful burgundy brown designs on their hands. Nowadays Sangeet has become a lavish affair with choreographers being hired to teach dance numbers to the performers, DJs being brought in to for cool music or even popular musicians for live performances with catchy songs for brother wedding. What is Jago in Punjabi wedding? Jago is held one or two days before the wedding. Jago means ‘staying awake’ and the relatives of the bride and groom stay awake the whole night for this ritual. Make noise and party as much as you want for that is what Jago night is all about. The maternal relatives of the bride and groom reach the wedding home with song and dance. The maternal aunt will carry a water container having lit candles on her head while others try to shake it with long Jago sticks. The container is passed on to other female relatives as well. Everything is fun in Jago night. The party goes to other houses also where they are warmly welcomed with sweets. Fireworks, song and dance fill the air. A usual song for Jaggo is Guvandio jaag tha ka sutha to invite neighbors to participate in the merry-making. Boliyan and Gidda involving the paternal and maternal sides teasing each other is perhaps the most fun-filled part of Jago. Punjabi wedding ceremony traditions Punjabi’s are emotional, expressive and live life to their fullest. Same are their weddings which are colorful, fun-filled and loud with music and dance. But weddings are not only fun but also in keeping with the traditions. These Punjabi weddings are usually lengthy with numerous pre-wedding rituals, dance, and song of Sangeet, the indulging Mehendi, and Jago.  Pre wedding rituals Roka and Thaka – The pre-wedding rituals start with Roka and Thaka.  In Roka, the bride’s family will visit the groom’s place with shagun to offer blessings. The Roka symbolizes the beginning of the relationship of the families and has a puja called Ardaas to bring in prosperity. After this, the groom’s family visits the bride’s place with gifts and this custom is called Thaka. Magni or Sagi – The couples get officially engaged and this grand ceremony is held a few months prior to the wedding. The groom’s family feeds the bride with rice and milk and the couple exchange rings to mark the engagement. Shagun and Chunni Chadai – This ceremony shows the acceptance of the bride by the groom’s family. A group of ladies arrives a day before or on the morning of the Sagai to the bride’s house with sweets, jewelry, fruits and other gifts to the bride known as Shagun. The mother-in-law will carry with her some of the jewels which are a part of the family heirloom and help the bride to put it and chunni is placed over the bride’s head. Her face is also covered with a scarf. This is called Chunni Chadana. Sangeet – This wedding ceremony is the most fun-filled part of Punjabi weddings with song, dance, joy, and exuberance and is usually organized by the bride’s family a day before the wedding is a great way for both families to get acquainted with each other. Play one of the peppy songs for brother’s wedding and hit the dance floor.  Mehendi – The Punjab wedding is incomplete without the colors of Mehendi. Henna is applied on the bride’s hands and feet. It is believed that the darker the mehndi turns out the warmer the love the bride is going to be showered by her in-laws. A similar ceremony is also carried out at the groom’s place but usually on a smaller scale. The groom also joins the mood sporting a simple design on the palms.

Wedding Rituals 

Jago- The whole family stays awake the previous night to celebrate Jago. The maternal aunt will carry a pot with lit candles on her head and visit the neighboring houses in song and dance. Other ladies will also take turns in carrying the pot while few will try to shake it with a stick. The neighbors will feed them with sweets and delicacies. Gana Bandhana – On the day of the wedding a puja is carried out in the houses of the bride and groom. Both attend the puja in their houses during which the priest will tie a sacred thread around their right wrist. The thread is knotted many times so that it becomes difficult to untie it later on. Chooda Chadana-  Chooda is a set of bangles red and ivory in color and kept in multiples of four. The maternal uncle will sit for the havan and along with his wife, he will put the chooda in the bride’s hands. The bride’s head and face are covered during the ceremony because she is supposed to see the Chooda only at the wedding.  Other elderly members present will touch the Chooda and bless the bride. Maternal uncle will gift her a Lehenga and other ladies will try Kalire to her bangles. Haldi – This ceremony is to usher in happiness in the bride’s life. The bride is made to sit on a low stool facing four diyas. Married ladies present in the family then applies a paste of turmeric, sandalwood, mustard oil, and rose water on the face and also the hands and feet of the bride. This ceremony is observed on the groom’s side as well. Ghara Gharoli – This ritual is observed in both the brides and groom’s side. Once the Haldi (turmeric) dries, the bride and groom visit the nearby temple in their respective places. There they will bath in holy water and the ritual is called Ghara Gharoli. After that prayer is offered and blessings of the deity taken. They return home for a shower and to get ready for the wedding. Sarbala – A kid is usually chosen to become the Sarbala or the groom’s caretaker and to accompany him to the wedding. Sehrabandi and varna – The groom gets all dressed up. He puts on the sherwani and churidar and attends a small puja where the priest blesses the turban and Sehra. The elder male or brother-in-law ties the turban or Sehra on the groom’s head. Godi Charna – Now the groom starts at the wedding venue on a mare. A tilak is usually put on the mare’s head and the female relatives feed chana dal and water to the mare. The groom sets off with the relatives to the wedding venue accompanied by the band, music, and dance. Agwaani and Milni – The groom reaches the wedding venue with his family and is greeted warmly by the bride’s family. This ritual is called Agwaani and the bride’s mother applies tilak on the groom’s forehead. Next comes the Milni where the relatives from both sides seek out the corresponding ones of the opposite side. Varmala – Both bride and groom are led to the stage and given garlands to exchange. Here again Punjabi’s fill-in fun to the occasion by both sides lifting the bride and groom higher so that it becomes difficult to put the garland over the head. Madhuperk – After Varmala the couple proceeds to the mandap and the groom is given a small bowl of water from which he sprinkles a little on his feet and drinks the remaining. The groom then sips the Madhuperk made of curd, honey, ghee, milk, and some sacred essences.  After the groom sips the Madhuperk the wedding rituals will begin. Kanyadaan – This ritual is a sacred one where the parents give away their daughter to the groom. The bride’s father through recitations of mantras requests the groom to take good care of his daughter and the groom, in turn, accepts her hand and promises to keep her happy and treat her with respect. The promise of marriage is done in front of the wedding havan keeping the fire as witness. The groom is given a plate with flour on which fourteen parallel lines are drawn using a flower. Hindu marriage has fourteen vows which are symbolized by these lines. The priest recites the Vedic mantras of each vow and the groom repeats these mantras and simultaneously erases the lines one by one. Phere – In the next stage the dupattas of the couple are knotted together and they take four circles around the sacred fire. When the first three circles are taken the bride moves in front of the groom and for the last circle the groom moves ahead of the bride. Lajahom – Puffed rice is poured by the bride’s brother to her hands. This is then offered by the bride to the fire as a mark of taking the blessings of the fire god. The ritual is done three times. Sindoor Daan – Now the wedding rituals reach its completion where the groom parts the bride’s hair to apply sindoor on her forehead and ties the Mangalsutra. Joota Chuppai – This is yet another fun-filled ritual where the bride’s sister hides the groom’s shoes during the wedding. When the wedding is completed the bride’s side demands a ransom from the groom to have the shoes back. After friendly bargaining, an amount is fixed which the groom pays to get back the shoes. A mention of this ritual brings to mind the nostalgic song from Hum Aapke Hain Kaun – Joote De Do Paise Le Lo – where the hide and seek for the groom’s shoes are shown through the song beautifully. There are also numerous lovely songs for brother wedding dedicated to this occasion. Post wedding rituals  Vidaai or dholi – This is a sad part where the bride is all tearful and takes leave of her family. She expresses her gratitude by throwing rice over her shoulder in the direction of her family. She then goes in the wedding car to her husband’s car and the procession is called Doli. Paani Bharna – Once the Dholi arrives at the groom’s house the mother welcomes the bride with an aarti and pitcher of water. The bride takes seven circles and the mother-in-law attempts to drink from the pitcher after each circle. The bride, in turn, stops her from drinking and finally gives after the seventh circle. Now she crosses the threshold and enters her home by knocking a pot of rice suing her left foot. Mooh Dikhai – The couple then moves forward to take the family diety’s blessings. Next, the bride is unveiled for all family members to see. She is seated and her veil is removed. The elders will now shower her with blessings and gift her jewelry and cash. Reception – The groom’s family will throw a lavish party for the new couple. Another get-together and maybe a few songs for brother wedding would be great here. Pag Phera – The bride and her husband now return to her paternal home. They are given a grand lunch and they spent a night there. The next day the bride returns to her in-laws with gifts for them.  Sikh wedding traditions Sikh and Punjabi weddings have differences. Though from the same region, Sikh is a different religion following different traditions. Pre-wedding rituals – It begins with Roka and Thaka. The bride’s father visits the groom’s house with gifts and applies a tilak on the groom’s forehead to show his approval.  The groom’s parents return the rituals for the bride. Next, the formal engagement ceremony called Kurmai happens at the gurdwara or groom’s house. The priest offers a prayer to commence the ceremony. The groom presents the bride with a ring and the groom’s family presents a steel bangle called Kara to the groom. The bride’s grandfather feeds the groom with dates. The weekend before the Anand Karaj, the family members sit down to read the Guru Granth Sahib in 48 hours to explain to the bride and groom the significance of religion. This function is held separately at both houses. Kirtan, a piece of religious music, is performed at the house as a good omen. The family visits the Gurdwara daily and reads a random page from Guru Granth Sahib and recites the prayers and this ceremony is called Ardas. The family makes a sweet Prasad called Khara Prasad at Gurudwara and distributes this among the attendees after the prayers. A meal called Langar is also served to the attendees. Next comes the Shagan, where the bride’s family sends gifts to the groom’s family. The shagun consists of sweets, coconut, dry fruits, and clothes. After this, the Chuni Chadan takes place where the female relatives of the groom visit the bride’s house with her bridal outfit, jewelry, and makeup kit. The groom’s mother covers the bride’s head with a headscarf or chunni as a sign that the bride is now a part of the groom’s family. These are followed by the cleansing ceremony called Maiya which takes place five days prior to the wedding. Both the bride and groom will have oil applied on their hair and turmeric paste on the body. Karahi Chadana is also observed five days before the wedding. Delicious food is cooked in a large wok in the kitchen and throughout the five days, guests are served from the same wok. Warna is conducted the day before the wedding on both the bride and groom. Currency notes are waved over their heads and the money donated to charity to ward off the evil eye. In the next ritual Gaana, a red thread which is considered as a protection from ill omen is tied to the right wrist of the groom and left wrist of the bride. Next, the sister-in-law of the bride and groom visits brings holy water from nearby Gurudwara in an earthen pot called Gharoli. The bride and groom bathe in this water post their Vatnaa. During the Vatnaa, a special paste of turmeric, mustard, and barley are applied by the married women of the family on the bride and groom accompanied by wedding songs. Two days before the wedding Mehendi is conducted whereby the Henna is applied on the hands and feet of the bride in beautiful designs. The women of the house also try their hand at henna.  Next is the Chooda and Kalire ceremony where the bride’s maternal uncle gifts a set of 21 red and white bangles called Chooda which are purified in curd and rosewater. Then the relatives tie the Kalire on her bangles. Wedding rituals -  The day of the wedding begins with the Sehra Bandhi where the groom leaves for the bride’s house and the father ties a turban around his head. He is also given a fake sword to carry during the wedding ceremonies. The sister covers the groom’s face by tying the Sehra on his turban. Next is the Soorma and Kalgi where the sister-in-law will apply a black dot on his forehead to keep away the negative energies.  The sister then ties a piece of jewelry on the groom’s forehead and blocks his way outside demanding a gift to let him go. The Baarat starts with music and dance to the bride’s house. At the bride’s house, the men welcome the Baarat with Milni or chanting of sacred hymns. Next, the Anand Karaj ceremony is conducted in the Gurudwara prayer hall. The bride and groom sit down facing the Guru Granth Sahib. Any Amritdhari Sikh can perform the marriage. He explains to the couple the importance of marriage and their respective duties. The couple bow before Guru Granth Sahib and the bride’s father places one end of a saffron scarf over the groom’s shoulder and the other part in the bride’s hand. The couple will now take the Laavas. Four Laavas are recited from Guru Garnth Sahib and the couple takes four circumambulations around the Guru Granth Sahib. These are called Pheras. After this raagis sing, hymns of Aanand Sahib and the Khatah Prasad is distributed. The ceremony ends with a grand meal and the Roti which is the bride’s first meal with her husband. Post-wedding rituals – Sada Suhagan takes place where the elders bless the bride to be suhagan always. After this, the Doli and Vidaai of the bride leaving for the groom’s house are held. She is welcomed warmly at the groom’s house. She is fed with sweets and showered with flowers and the neighbors and relatives come to bless the bride. Finally, a grand reception with fun and dance is given to honor the newlyweds. 

Shagun ceremony in Punjabi wedding

The Shagun ceremony is when the bride and groom get engaged.  An ornate chunni, usually a family heirloom, is draped around the girl. The bride is also gifted jewelry and a dot of mehendi is applied to her hand to bring in good luck. The bride and groom exchange rings and the bride’s father will bless the groom and apply tikka on his forehead. After this, the families exchange gift and also feeds sweet to the couple. Sangeet songs for brother wedding A compilation of a few popular songs for brother wedding to sing your heart out during the Sangeet.  Gud Naal Ishq Mitha – One of the irresistible songs for brother wedding and sure to set the joyous mood.Oh Ho ho ho – Hit the dance floor and move for one of the evergreen songs for brother wedding and watch the crowd cheer.Nachne De Saare- Choreograph with your friends for this trending song. This is among the favorite songs for brother wedding and is sure to rock.Ole Ole – Another one of the top songs for brother wedding.Badtameez Dil – The list would be incomplete without this number, one of the rocking songs for brother wedding. Morni Banke – This number is definitely going to bring fun to the Sangeet.  Kala Chashma –Sport a kala chasma for a sizzling one from the songs for brother wedding. Ghaghra – This one from the songs for brother wedding will make even the shy ones dance. Ankh Maarey – This one is the most played of the songs for brother wedding for a duo performance on the Sangeet. Brother wedding songs Punjabi Let’s play these peppy Punjabi numbers.  These are great songs for brother wedding to show your love and joy on the occasion. Veerey Di Wedding- Play this fast number with some groovy steps for your brother’s wedding. This one tops the list of songs for brother wedding.  High Rated Gabru- This brother song is sure to get everyone on the dance floor. Another one from our popular songs for brother wedding.Desi Boyz – a perfect song for brothers to play at their sister’s sangeet and tell her that she is the best.Kaun Nachdi – gather your friends and play this fast group number for your sister. Cutiepie – praise your sister’s cuteness on her wedding with this upbeat number.Phoolon Ka Taroon Ka, Sabka Kehna Hai – this emotional song is definitely going to bring tears to your sister’s eyes.Nai Jana- another number for your sister guaranteed to bring tears. Songs for brothers birthday Surprise your brother with his favorite gift and play these songs on the birthday to have a blast. Just like the songs for brother wedding, you are going to love these collections as well. Baar Baar Din AayegaChotte Tera Birthday AayaHum Bhi Agar Bache HoteHappy Birthday SongHappy Budday Songs for brother and sister relationships in Hindi Apart from songs for brother’s wedding, we have also compiled a list of songs as a tribute to the wonderful brother-sister bond. Keep a handkerchief ready as some of these are tear-jerkers too. Phoolon Ka Taaron KaDekh Sakta HoonAb Ke Baras Bhejo Bhaiyya ko Babul Bhaiyaa Mere Rakhi Ke BandhanMere Bhaiyaa Mere ChandaRang Birangi Rakhi Leke  Jhoola Bahon ka Song for brother in Hindi list A few selected songs for brother wedding and also to express the love of brother and sister through all fights and games. Abhi Mujhme Kahin BaakiMeri Bhaiyaa Ho Lambi Umariya TeriBhaiya Phool Mein Phoolon Ki DaaliMori Choodiyaan Aayengi AaliWo Door Jo nadiya Behti HaiTera Yaar Hoon MainLamberghiniHumne Suna Hai Tumne Jeevan Saathi Chuna Hai

Songs for brother marriage Sangeet by sister

Let’s play these wonderful songs for brother wedding to make the Sangeet memorable. Chokra Jawaan – This is one of the perfect songs for brother wedding to pull your brother’s leg.Mere Brother Ki Dulhan – The right choice and the best one of the songs for brother wedding and sing about the bride as well.Dulhan hum le Jayenge – Sing this popular number among the songs for brother wedding and don’t forget the dance.Galla Goodiyan – Enjoy and celebrate with this upbeat number, the best among the songs for brother wedding. Indian Wedding Folk Songs In India, each region has its own set of folk songs to be sung at the wedding. Here is a broad categorization of the folk songs sung at Indian weddings. These are a must collection of songs for brother wedding. Devi-Devta songs- Auspicious things should begin with God’s blessings. These songs are sung to take god’s blessing for happiness and prosperity. Banni ke geet – Female relatives sing these at the bride’s place and the lyrics remind the bride of the importance of Suhaagan and serving her husband and his family. Banne ke geet – Groom’s parents express their happiness by singing these songs. Seethne ke geet – These are sung during the haldi ceremony when the groom and bride make an imprint of their hands on a cloth. Maande ke geet – This is sung at the bride’s place while creating the Maanda.  Dance songs for wedding BrotherSangeet tradition These timeless beats are just what you need to spice up your brother’s wedding. Play these best songs of brother wedding for a superb dance and song. Phatee Tak Nachna – Play this groovy number for the wedding. One of the best songs of brother’s wedding and is going to bring the whole family on the dance floor.Shaadi Wali Night – A song of fun and the shaadi night with simple dance steps to make it the most popular songs of brother wedding.Gal Mithi Mithi – A rocking number and one of the most played songs for brother wedding to set the mood and fervor.Gore Gore Se Chore – Do not forget to include this upbeat song on your list, which is among the classic songs for brother’s wedding.  Songs for brother marriage Sangeet by brother Here are some memorable songs for brother wedding to dance to your heart’s content.  Aaj Ki Party – Express your love for your brother with a party song and awesome dance. This number is one of the superb party songs for brother wedding for a rocking performance. Bhootni Ke – Among the songs for brother wedding, this one is a tad bit comic; but all is fun.Tera Yaar Hoon Main – A meaningful one among the songs of brother wedding and a perfect tribute to your brother. Birthday song for brother lyrics Hum Bhi Agar Bache Hote Happy birthday to you - (2) Ham bhee agar bachche hote - (2) Nam humara hota gablu bablu, khaneko milte laddu Aur duneeya kehati, (happy birthday toh you - (2)) Koi lata gudiya motor, happy birthday toh you Kitni pyaree hotee hai bholee see umar Naa nokari kee chinta naa roti kee fikar Nanhe munne hote ham toh dete sau hukam Piche firte daddy mummy banke naukar Choclate biscut toffee khate aur pite duddu Aur duneeya kehati, happy birthday toh you Kaise kaise nakhre karte…… Abb toh hai yeh hal ke jab se bita bachpan Chal mere sang sang le le duneeya ke rang Ho ja rangila re rangila re Rang rang rangila re rangila re Kya bhes hai kya jat hai, kya umr hai, kya nam hai Are chhodiye inn baato se hamko, bhala kya kam hai aji suniye toh Hum Jiyo Hazaron Saal tum jiyo hazaaron saal saal ke din hon pachaas hazaar sooraj roz aata rahe roz gaata rahe leke kiranon ke mele palachhin kaliyaan gin gin tera har din tab tak rangon se khelen rang jab tak baaki hai bahaaron mein tum jiyo hazaaron saal saal ke din hon pachaas hazaar … yahaan vahaan shaam ho chaahe jahaan yoon hi jhoome shama sunake tumhaari baaten pyaar liye chaand ka teeka liye yoon hi juganu liye chamake tumhaari raaten noor jab tak baaki hai sitaaron mein tum jiyo hazaaron saal saal ke din ho pachaas hazaar … Songs to dedicate to your brother in Hindi Dedicate these wonderful songs for your brother and we have also included some cool ones for you to add to your collection of songs for brother wedding. Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna HaiBhangda Ta SajdaMorni BankeMatargashtiBehana Ne Bhai Ki Kalai Se Pyaar Bandha HaiNachne De SaareAaj Hai Sagaai Sun Ladki Ke Bhai Hindi songs for brother birthday A few carefully selected songs to wish your brother on his birthday and wish him a hundred years of joy. Badhai Ho Badhai janam Din KiTum Jiyo Hajaaro SaalMast ke Hain Din CharLal Tera Jug Jug Jiye Songs for brother and sister relationships in Hindi download Brothers and sisters should not miss these lovely collections. These songs are as touching as the love you have for each other. Meri Pyari BeheniyaMeri Rakhi Ka MatlabJhoola Baahon Ka Aaj Bhi  Rang Birangi Rakhi Le KeBhai Behen Ka PyarYe Rakhi Bandhan Hai AisaMeri BehnaGudiya Jaise Behna HaiPal yaad aaye wo pal What is a sisters dance on brother's wedding Great songs for brother wedding for a sister to enjoy dancing to the fullest.  Mere Brother ki Dulhan – One of the all-time favorite of the songs for brother wedding.Pyara Bhaiyya – Another ideal song for brother wedding with simple dance steps.Chote chote bhaiyon ke – An amazing one among the songs for brother wedding, emotional and peppy as well.Banno – This is a must one of the songs for brother wedding. Play this song at the wedding for a fun time.

Hindi wedding songs mp3 download

An Indian wedding without songs is unheard of. Download this playlist of popular songs for brother wedding and have a gala time. Mehndi songs  Mehndi Ki Raat Mehndi Lagaa ke Rakhna  Likh ke Mehndi Se Saajna Mehndi Ni Mehndi Mehndi Hai Rachnewali Saajan Ke Ghar Jaana Sangeet songs Aye LadiyeBari Barsi Banno Teri AkheyaKala Doria Latthe Di ChaadarNai JaanaBhabhi Meri Gutt Karde  Shagun Songs  Chal Pyar Karegi Din Shagna Da ChadeyaJara Dholaki Bajaao Goriyo Jatt Di Pasand  Saj Dhaj Ke Sadi Gali  Baarat Songs Tenu Leke Munda Apne Viah De VichVeer Ji ViyohnJoote De Do Paise Le Lo Dulhe Ka Sehra  Vidaai Songs Papa, Main Choti Se Badi BabulBabul Ke Duayen Leti ja Babul Ka Yeh GharMadaniya

Conclusion 

These wedding song lists featuring the best songs for brother wedding are going to make the perfect Sangeet and wedding with everyone dancing, singing and making merry. Each one of these songs for brother wedding is just right to fill music and excitement in the air. Read the full article