#min challenges herself to write children

[aconstellationofmemories]

Good Parents

This fic is dedicated to @unicornbeauty290, who has her big day ahead of her soon. I wrote this as a way to commemorate the happy ocassion. It's not good but I hope you like it, Liyah. I challenged myself with this one. Just know that I'm dead from writing this fic. (How dare you rush the birthday girl, haha.)

Bonus points to those who caught the Clannad reference!

Word Count: 2.6k (my longest yet omg).

AO3

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“Gray-sama! Over here.” Juvia tugged Gray by his arm. He let her pull him as she weaved them through the crowd.

Earlier at the guild, she had gabbered about a popular dessert shop and the satisfied reviews from their customers. Their desserts were supposedly spectacular, especially their ice sherbets – a must try, she said.

Although in reality she spent half an hour just talking about the shop’s desserts, he felt like it was an eternity. He would never admit it to her – he couldn’t hurt her feelings, no matter how boring it was – but he had zoned out a few times.

Her chatter stopped abruptly when she stared up at him with puppy eyes and asked him to try their popular dessert with her. She had said something about how it’d be a memorable occasion if he accompanied her on one of their anniversaries.

When she put it that way, he didn’t have it in him to deny her. Coupled with the loving way she gazed up at him, like he was somebody special, and he was a goner.

So here he was.

Getting dragged, and not complaining about it.

Gray didn’t know who he was anymore.

With her skilful manoeuvres, they arrived at the dessert shop in no time. She turned to him enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Gray-sama, can you pay for Juvia?”

He frowned, puzzled by her request. "You don't have any money?" he asked in a neutral tone.

"Juvia does but she'd like you to."

"All right." It was his plan to buy it for her in the first place.

"Gray-sama's treating Juvia!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"Huh?" He wasn't getting where she was going.

"But Gray-sama shouldn't mind paying." She suddenly turned serious.

He never felt more confused in his life. "Why?" he dared to ask.

"Because it's for Juvia."

He sighed. Despite being on the receiving end of her fantasies countless times, they never failed to befuddle him. She appeared as excited as a child who was about to get her first taste of a sweet. He didn't have the heart to dampen her excitement, so he played along with her.

Yeah, he needed a brawl with Natsu later to confirm he was still Gray.

“One blueberry sher–”

“Ya naughty little thief! Ya ain’t getting away this time!”

He glanced sideways to the direction of the noise just in time to see a boy tossed to the ground. The baker towered threateningly over him, casting a looming shadow. The child cowered and crawled back a few inches, a bread in his lap.

“P-please...” the boy pleaded, his voice breaking.

“I need to teach ya a lesson, ya little thief,” the baker spat out.

With his hand raised, he smacked down to hit the boy.

To the man’s surprise, a streak of ice swiftly crossed his path and blocked his slap. His palm hit a pointed shard of ice and instantly withdrew his hand in pain. “What the...”

Standing protectively in front of the child, Gray levelled the man a glowering look. “It’s you who needs a lesson.”

He heard Juvia rush to the child’s side from behind him. “It’s all right, you’re safe now,” she tried to console the boy.

“Don’t meddle in business that ain’t yours, young fella,” the baker warned, glaring at Gray.

“It’s sure as hell is mine when you’re hurting a kid,” he countered, his voice hard.

“This wee thief can’t keep his hands off my breads. I ain’t letting him off the hook. And now I ain’t letting you off the hook either.”

The baker charged toward Gray and swung his fists at him. Gray, now sans his jacket, deftly dodged his attacks by evading to the side. He bounced back a few steps and placed his hands in his Ice Make stance. “Ice Make: Hammer!” A large ice hammer appeared out of thin air above the man and slammed down on him. The attacked knocked the man out cold.

“Let’s see if anyone buys from you after this,” Gray muttered in distaste.

The crowd that gathered while they fought shouted their cheers for the ice mage. He ignored them and pivoted on his heels to check on the boy. The child peeped at him from behind Juvia while clutching her dress.

“Gray-sama was amazing as always.” She offered his discarded jacket.

He took it and put it on. “How’s the kid?” he scanned the shy boy.

“Besides some old minor injuries, he’s okay. Juvia thinks he’s starved,” she replied, concerned.

“What’s your name?” Gray asked. The child didn’t answer. He tried another approach. “Wanna eat something?” He smiled a little to reassure shy fella.

The boy’s eyes immediately brightened. “Yes!” he said, fisting Juvia’s dress and the stolen bread in his small hands.

“Come to my shop!” a lady from the crowd stepped forward with her offer. “I’ll treat you guys for kicking that high and mighty arse.”

“Well, it isn’t necessary... We can pay for our meals,” Gray said awkwardly, raising a hand to the back of his head.

“You young ones hush and come over, will you?” the lady demanded.

“Let’s go, Gray-sama!” Juvia tugged his arm for Mavis knows how many times it had been today.

While he appeared somewhat annoyed by her public displays of affection, he was in fact secretly enjoying it. The sensation of her soft curves against his was a lovely bonus. Another thing I would never admit to her. She was crazy enough as it is; Gray didn’t need her craziness to be multiplied upon his confession.

--------------------

As soon as the waiter served the plate of curry rice, the child jumped right in to feast on it. Gray and Juvia reminded him repeatedly that no one was going to steal his food, therefore he could eat slowly. The normally timid boy paid no attention to them as he munched on his food. The plate was wiped clean in mere moments.

Gray nudged the second serving to him, and he gobbled the meal down just as quickly. With the second plate licked clean of any leftover, the boy rested against his seat and patted his bulging stomach.

“Are you full now?” Juvia asked cheerily from beside him.

Her voice jolted him back to his fearful self as he straightened. His nervous hazel eyes flickered to them. “T-thank you...for saving me and feeding me...”

“It was nothing,” Gray said nonchalantly.

“Don’t mention it.” Juvia smiled brightly at the boy. “Do you have a home?”

He fidgeted in his seat and squeezed his hands. “T-the street is my home. I was abandoned.”

The boy might as well have grabbed hold of Gray’s heart and squeezed it than his own tiny hands. He had expected the answer, but it didn’t make him any less pained to hear it confirmed. There was a flicker of a grimace on the ice mage’s face before it passed.

Juvia gasped, a frown marring her features. “That’s so sad.”

“I-I don’t have anywhere else to go.” His gaze dropped to the ground.

“I know a place,” Gray said. The boy lifted up his head, his interest piqued. “They’ll take care of you. Do you want to go there?”

The boy remained silent.

“We can’t just leave you in the streets,” Juvia said softly.

“W-will I have food?” He fixed his gaze on Gray for the first time.

Of course, the first question he asked was about food. Gray wasn’t one to indulge in pity – it never got you anywhere – but he couldn’t help the slight tightening of his heart for the boy. His heart ached a little when he imagined the suffering the child must have gone through.

“Every day, whenever you want,” he said softly.

The light returned to his eyes. “Yes, I do!”

Apparently you just had to mention food and the boy was on for anything.

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The sun had dipped down the horizon and painted the sky with shades of orange and purple when the trio arrived at a church. Back when they were kids, Cana had mentioned to him that she lived in this church orphanage before she joined Fairy Tail. They took good care of her, she had told him, even though the Father was odd. Just the other day, he heard that she brought Wendy to visit the children at the church.

“I must fix the child’s fashion sense,” Father Block said, contemplating as he fixed his critical gaze on the boy’s tattered clothes.

“Seriously, Father? The kid is homeless, for God’s sake.” Of all the things, Gray couldn’t believe he had to point that out.

“Worry not, I’ll give him a brilliant makeover.” The Father’s eyes gleamed with all the ideas he imagined.

“That wasn’t what I was worried about...” He was beginning to doubt it was a good idea to bring the boy here.

He glanced over a couple of steps ahead of them where Juvia sat on her haunches in front of the boy. Their conversation was barely audible from where Gray and Father Block stood.

“But...” the boy squeezed his hands and stared at the ground. “I-I’ve never mixed with people. What if they make fun of me because I-I’m different? What if I don’t fit in?”

“They won’t. The children here would love to be your friends, Juvia knows it.”

“I-I’m scared,” he admitted.

She brushed back the hair from his face and smiled comfortingly at him. “It’s all right to be scared; you’re starting a new adventure. But this time, you won’t be alone. You’ll have friends to cry and laugh with and they will hold your hand.” She gently held his small hand in hers. “You’ll be all right. Juvia promises there will be happy times ahead.”

Tears began to well in his pure, innocent eyes as he stared at her. Swallowing back his tears, the boy nodded his head at her. She gave him a proud smile and hugged him.

Gray could feel his cold heart thawing in his chest as he watched them. Juvia was by far the most caring person he’d ever met. They were polar opposites – Juvia and him. Where he preferred to withhold from affectionate gestures, she went out of her way to express her love. Where he was an arse who chased people away with his frigid behaviour, she was the loving person whose presence was the glorious light after the spring rain.

Gray didn’t know what she saw in him to have stuck by him despite his coldness. What did I do to deserve her?

When he pondered about it, he realised they weren’t that different from Laxus and Mira in that regard. However, in their case, he couldn’t understand why sweet Mira put up with the lightning bastard. Gray was an arse – with how openly he displayed it, one could even say he was proud of it – but even he wasn’t as big of a smug arse as Laxus. He snickered. Both of us don’t deserve our woman.

Juvia led the boy back to Father Block. Unlike the scared and withdrawn child he was all along, the boy seemed to have abandoned some of his fears as he held his head up. He appeared the most confident Gray had ever seen him. Must have been Juvia.

“We’re leaving him in your care then, Father,” Gray said.

“We will take good care of him,” the priest replied. He offered his hand to the boy who promptly took it. Without hesitation, Gray noted.

“O-one thing...” the boy braced himself to look at Gray in the eye. “I-I hope I will be like you one day.”

Caught by surprise at his admission, he stiffened in his posture. Be like me?

“I want to be s-someone who protects the weak, just like you.”

Stunned, Gray was rendered speechless for a few moments before he blinked out of it. He ruffled the boy’s hair and gave him a small smile. “You should stop by Fairy Tail sometime. We can teach you magic.”

“Gray-sama’s right! You can play with Wendy-san too.”

“Ah, Wendy. The children had so much fun with her the other day,” the priest reminisced.

The boy’s eyes widened in wonder at the prospect. “Mmh!” he uttered in agreement, nodding excitedly.

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Having said their goodbyes to Father Block and the boy, Gray strolled alongside Juvia with his hands deep in his pockets. He anchored his attention on the ground. There were certain things which had been bothering his mind. Once they were a safe distance from the church, he mustered the courage to voice his concerns.

“Do...do you think I’m a good role model, Juvia? If I had a kid, would I be a good father?” he blurted out.

“Gray-sama.” Her voice was suddenly serious. She turned to fix her kind gaze on him and smiled. “Gray-sama is already a good man. Gray-sama would be a good father as well, just like father-in-law.”

Tensing at the mention of his father, he suddenly halted in his steps. The memories he had of his father played in his mind – how he felt on top of the world when Silver sat him on his broad shoulders, the snowball fights they had in the snow, and his dad’s boisterous laughter filling the walls of their home.

His heart constricted painfully in his chest. The time he spent with his father was achingly short.

Yet, despite having so little time together, Gray remembered he felt safe with him. If he was afraid to try out a new thing, or if the past was caging him in a mental prison, Silver always nudged him forward into the future. Most importantly, he believed in Gray.

In short, Silver was both an outstanding father and an honourable man.

Gray wasn’t sure if he could be as good as his dad – or if he was good enough for anyone to look up to him.

“You think so?” His uncertainty leaked into his voice.

She smiled confidently at him. “Juvia is certain. Gray-sama is Gray-sama after all.”

Staring at her with in stunned silence, he allowed himself to feel her faith washing over him. It seeped into every fibre of his being and cleansed his doubts, instilling confidence in their place.

The corners of his mouth curved up slightly in a rare display of a soft smile.

Recalling how she comforted the scared child earlier, he inhaled in some courage to say his thoughts out loud. Say it, you idiot. He forced his next words out.

“I-I think you’d be a good mum too, Juvia,” he said awkwardly with slight heat in his cheeks.

“Gray-sama!” she exclaimed, shocked. She stared him with a luminous glow of happiness in her eyes.

Shit. He was glad that the attention was diverted from his feelings of inadequacy, but her daydreaming posed another headache. Her wildly exaggerated ideas could get out of hand quickly.

Gray immediately took a deep breath. He sent up a quick prayer to whichever god was listening to save him.

“Juvia would be happy to have Gray-sama’s baby,” she said dreamily. She clung to him, lost in her own world.

Flustered by her sudden change in demeanour, he stumbled sideways with Juvia still clutching his arm tightly. The colour in his cheeks rivalled the bright hue of the sunset sky.

“I never said that!” They were on entirely different wavelengths.

“There’s no need to be shy, Gray-sama. Juvia understands.”

“The hell you do!” He didn’t want to know what exactly she understood.

“How many children does Gray-sama wants?”

“None!”

“But Gray-sama, we have to get married first. When is our wedding date?”

He didn’t bother trying to correct her by that point. She was too far gone to hear his words properly. Mavis knows how she’ll interpret whatever he would say.

The gods must be having the time of their lives watching his torture. Curse them, he thought with a faint smile on his face.

[unu-nunu-art]

General FAQ

Please read this before sending me any questions, it might save you some time~

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For Character info, please read the following posts:

Template and Pale Masterpost

Faith and Frenzy ref sheets

Gauge masterpost

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About using my characters:

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A: Yes, absolutely! Please credit me in the description, that would be amazing. As a general rule of thumb, I allow you to include my characters in any kind of your work as a long as you give credit.

Q: Can I include your character/s in a fanfic that I'm writing?

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A: Yes, that's okay! Please be aware though that there are currently no canon ships of my characters, so be mindful of other opinions and don't try to force me to canonize any kind of relationship that isn't established already.

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A: Yep, that's also fine!

Q: I'd like to make a ship child that includes your character/s. Can I?

A: Another clear yes! The same applies, giving credit would be super cool, the only exception to this would be Gauge as I consider her to be a child herself, so giving her children of her own would be kind of irritating.

Q: What's your opinion on NSFW related arts/fanfics/etc. featuring your character/s?

A: That's fine and heck, by all means share it with me if you want to! I don't mind any NSFW at all! Once again with the exception of Gauge, please keep the child out of NSFW related content.

That's all for now. I hope this FAQ helps to clear some confusion and helps everyone to find their answers more quickly then before. If things are changing or additions are made I will edit this post. Thank you! ♥

[justvibewith]

Surprise Visit

Summary: You are a nursing student who just survive a hell week and you missed your husband, Wonwoo who is a doctor at a hospital in another state. Why not surprise him with a visit? Definitely a surprise visit that contains a whole drama.

Genre: fluff, a bit of suggestive (?), angst (more like a verbal fight tho)

Characters: Doctor Wonwoo x Female OC

Word Count: 3052

A/N: Hi! I’m a new writer and I only write for Seventeen atm. The name is Angel or you can call me Ella. English is my second language, so hopefully explain why writing is so bad. I used to write before but I had a writing block for over 3-4 years. Recently, I’m trying to train myself to write again. So I hope that all of you could give me some feedback or might challenge me to write some stories~ All of things happen on the story are fiction and some are real life experience. Enjoy!

"Finally, the hell week is over '' Hana lay her head down on the table. It was called hell week for a reason since the students had to take their final exam while also completing their practicals at the hospital. This is the week where a lot of students stay up, cry and stress together. Hana was also one of the students that pulled an all-nighter. To make it worse, she was not feeling herself. For a positive ball of energy like her, it’s unusual for that to happen.`I'm craving drinks, man. I wanna get drunk.." Siyeon said as she sat next to Hana with her iced americano. "Should we? Hana, you wanna go out tonight?" Jinjoo looked excited as she poked Hana. "I'm tired.." Hana mumbled from her arm. "That is why we should go out.." Jinjoo pouted as she tried to persuade her best friend. Hana sits up and drinks her iced tea in a daze. "Earth down to you, Hana. Are you good?" Jinjoo squeezed her friend's hand. "It must be about your husband, is it?" Siyeon guessed correctly which made Hana pouted. She looked at her sparkling wedding band on her ring finger. Jeon Wonwoo is Hana's husband and also a neurosurgeon at Seoul University Hospital. But currently, both of them are in a long-distance relationship since they are working and studying in different states. "How did you know?" Hana questioned, making Siyeon snicker. "It is so obvious, woman.." Hana pouted as she twirls the ring on her finger. Jinjoo looked at her best friend with a beaming smile. "How about you go and visit him? You know, give him a cute surprise~" Immediately, Hana's eyes lit up at the idea. “I mean, we already started our break. It doesn’t hurt for you to spend your time with your husband,” Siyeon encouraged her friend with a smile.

Hana was preparing her luggage when her phone rang. It is Wonwoo, who face-timed her. Hana scrambled, panicked before jumping on the bed to make it look like she did nothing. "Hi, baby. How are you?" Wonwoo's deep and gentle voice soothes Hana. She could make out that Wonwoo was also having a busy day judging by the tired smile on his face. Not only that, he was still wearing his white coat and his black thin-rimmed glasses subtly covered his dark eye bags. "Survived hell week. How are you? I missed you so much.." Hana beamed at the screen. "Miss you too, honey. Well, I had a few surgeries and I am also on call tonight, which is not fun. Have you eaten yet?" Hana nodded. "I did.. Take a quick nap okay? you look so tired, babe. Take care of your health too, if you are sick, how are you gonna take care of your patient?" Hana nagged her husband. "Yes, I understand, Mrs Jeon." He giggled. "I missed you so much.." Hana spoke softly. "Come here then.." Wonwoo grinned as he stretched. "Oh, I will. Just wait~" He laughed at her cute face scrunched.

"Who did you call?" Wonwoo turned to look at his fellow surgeon, Kwon Soon Young who pushed the door open. He came in with a cup of ramen with Jihoon, tagging along behind him. "My wife.." Wonwoo stood up and took a seat near the men as Jihoon put his ramen on the table. "You are married?" Sooyoung shouted. He was so shocked. He can’t believe this cold and stoic-looking man is already married. Soonyoung’s mind is revving to spill the tea about Wonwoo’s secret marriage to Seungkwan and Seokmin, the friendly nurses that he is close with. "It's obvious. He didn’t even hide that he is married. He even has his wife's picture in his locker and on his phone lock screen.Oh, I've met her once too," Jihoon said as he slurped the noodles. "Wait, am I the only person who didn't know? Can I meet her? Please?" Wonwoo sighed at his friend's persistence.

Wonwoo was finishing his round when he approached the nurses and doctors that he’s close with. "The infamous Jeon Wonwoo. Come and join us.." Yoon Jeonghan, the pediatric doctor called him. "We are talking about going out for dinner together tonight. I know your shift is gonna end today, so join us." Another pediatric doctor, Mingyu, excitedly urged him. "Mrs Jung, do you seriously agree with these nasty boys?" Wonwoo turned and asked the oldest nurse who is like his mom in the hospital, Mrs Jung. "I can't decline if someone is gonna buy me food and drinks. Doctor Min Ah Ra and Nurse Han Seo Jin are also going, so at least there are more women added to the party." She smiled. "I mean Doctor Min Ji seems very interested in you~You both would suit each other very much" Nurse Han Seo Jin wriggled her eyebrow at Wonwoo. Wonwoo looked very uncomfortable at the mention. Doctor Ah Ra is known for her straightforwardness in work and her love life. She always goes all out. Yesterday, she even bought him and Jihoon coffee and cakes. Even before that, she would always buy him food and sit near him. It’s not like he didn’t drop hints that he is not interested but in fact, he always declined and avoided her. Somehow, she didn't get it or she was just being persistent. "Should I be upfront and tell her that I'm married?" He thought. Sensing his discomfort, Mrs Jung said "I don't think that Doctor wonwoo think Doctor Ah Ra that way." Jeonghan also jumped to save him, "I guess it's true that Wonwoo is not interested in anyone.Oh, great news!  Soonyoung and Jihoon said that they are going to join us too. This is going to be more merrier!" 

Hana was very happy when she arrived at his apartment. When she entered the house, she smiled. The house was very clean despite being a bit dusty. "He must be very busy.." Hana cleaned his house and even stocked his fridge with food. She can't wait for him to come back home. After doing all the chores,she texted him to ask when he is available so she could call him, in order for her to  know when he is going to go home. "Sorry babe, I'm going out to eat with the team. Might be home around midnight though." He spoke softly. "Well, I miss you.." He chuckled. "If you want me to call you around midnight, sure~" Hana laughed as she snuggled in his bed. "Well, it's okay. We can talk tomorrow.." He sighed when he heard his name "sorry babe, duty calls.." She smiled. "Take care babe, love you.." He whispered. "Love you too darling". After the phone call, Hana pouted, thinking what she should do to kill some time. " Well, I should go shopping and eat great food.." She grinned as she searched for the restaurants that are popular in that area.

Not only SoonYoung and Jihoon follow them but the nurses, Seokmin and Seungkwan also joined the team. They were having bbq and enjoying the meat. "You know, I'm glad my children are older now. I can enjoy going out with you youngsters without stress." Mrs Jung laughed happily as she ate a piece of meat. "This is so good!" Seokmin sighed happily. Wonwoo nodded as he munched on his food. Doctor Ah Ra, like always, would stick near him. "Here a wrap. Says ahh..'' she tries to feed him a wrap. Wonwoo put his hand in front of him "it's okay. You should eat it.." Jeonghan and Jihoon looked at each other and sipped at their shots, at the awkward drama. Before nurse seojin can try to be a wing woman, Mrs Jung speaks out. "I guess we should play a game.. I really wanna see all of you youngsters play the game truth or dare without dare.. I'm too old for dare.." All of them laughed at her joke.

Hana grinned happily as she walked into the BBQ shop. "Hi, can I have a seat for a person.." The waitress nodded and brought her to a seat. "I'm sorry to inform you that the set comes for 2 people," she smiled at the waitress. "It's okay.., '' she grinned at the waitress. The waitress nodded at her before sitting her down at an empty table. Hana was looking around the BBQ restaurants when a group of people caught her eyes. They were laughing at one of the women's jokes. "I should invite Siyeon and Jinjoo here.." She pouted as she looked at her phone. However, the guy who sits at the edge of the table looked very familiar which made her double take. She looked up again to see the man,clearly. Lo and behold, it's her husband. She quickly ducks her head, hiding her face. "Oh no! I'm going to be caught."

"Which department doctor do you hate so much?" Jihoon asked the oldest nurse. "We all know Mr Kang Ho Jun from the cardiology department. That man is annoying!" Mr Jung huffed. All of them laugh. "Yup I can't deny it."  Jeonghan sighed, taking a shot. "So now let us turn the bottle.." It landed on Doctor Ah Ra. "Who is your ideal type amongst the doctors and why?" Nurse Seojin asked her. "My ideal type is doctor wonwoo. He is tall, handsome, and great at his work..." Everyone just wooed at her responses. Wonwoo wants to focus on the game despite his annoyance but the lady at the table in front of him caught his eyes. She was ducking her head awkwardly with a menu in her hands. He narrowed his eyes at the ring on her ring finger that looked awfully familiar. Then, he saw one of the waitresses come to her table. That is when she dropped the menu to talk with the waitress. She looked very hurried."Wonwoo it's your turn." He looked at them. "Huh?" Nurse Seojin goes again. "What nickname would you give to doctor Ji A?" Wonwoo's eyes travelled back to the familiar woman at the table in front and when the waitress moved, both of him and her eyes met. "Baby!" 

"Baby!" When Hana's eyes met Wonwoo, she knew she was busted. She waves awkwardly. Wonwoo spoke briefly at them before standing up and walked towards her. Before she said anything, he immediately hugged her. "Umm... Surprised..?" She giggled." When did you arrive?" He looked at her, grinning happily. "This afternoon..." He barked a laugh, "so when you called me earlier.." Hana grinned "I was on your bed.." Wonwoo shakes his head at her and leads her to his table. She looked at the people nervously. Not even wonwoo's hand behind her could soothe her nerves."Guys, this is my wife, Hana. Hana, this is my friend and colleague." She bowed to them "hello, I'm Hana, wonwoo's wife. Thank you for taking care of him while he is working at the hospital." Jeonghan waves "we met again, Hana..." Jihoon also put his hand's up, saying hi to her as they met before.

Hana sat next to Wonwoo. The woman next to him look at her with unreadable expression. "I never know you were married!" Seungkwan bellowed. "I thought everybody knows.. Mrs Jung knows too.. " wonwoo said as his hand wandered behind Hana's back. "How was your internship?" Jeonghan smiled at her. "It was great. I learned a lot at the hospital.." Hana mused. "No wonder wonwoo hides her. She is so pretty..." Soonyoung's word makes Hana hides her face to his side. “You are studying nurse, right? I hope I can work with you in the future,” Mrs Jung smiled fondly at her. “ I hope she can do her job very well then,” the woman next to her rudely. All of the people at the table looked uncomfortable at her statement. “ Oh! Since you never met us formally, this is Nurse Han Seo Jin and Doctor Ah Ra. Both of them worked in neurosurgery too,” Hana nodded in understanding and turned to Doctor Ah Ra. “It’s nice to meet you,”  Doctor Ah Ra rolled her eyes and just nodded as she drinks her soju.

Doctor Ah Ra keeps drinking her soju which makes all the people at the table become very nervous. The thing about doctor Ah Ra is, she is very outspoken but she can be much worse when she’s drunk. “ How did you guys meet?” Hana looked at Doctor Ah Ra.  “Oh, we were in the same school,” Doctor Ah Ra hummed. “So, you become a nurse because he is a doctor?” before Hana could retort her reason to be a nurse. “Are you stupid? You think that you can date while working if you do that?” Doctor Ah Ra snickered. Hana frowned. She doesn’t understand why this woman is attacking her. “I did not become a nurse because my husband is a doctor. I don’t get why you insinuate things, Doctor Ah Ra.” Doctor Ah Ra laughed bitterly. “I don’t get it. Why does he like you? Because you are cute? We all know cute girls are the most foxy ones. You are not even that pretty.” The others were rendered speechless by Doctor Ah Ra’s words. Hana could sense Wonwoo is heated with Doctor Ah Ra’s statement. “ Doctor Ah Ra, I think you should get home now. You drank too much..” His voice is low and serious. “ I don’t get it. Why don’t you like me back? I don’t care if you are married, you should be with me,” Hana was heated with Ah Ra’s childish words. “Are you even hearing what comes out of your mouth?” Doctor Ah Ra laughed. “Look, a lot of guys left their wife for me. It’s not my fault that they want me. Jeon Wonwoo, I don’t understand what is so attractive about her. Her look is just basic, and I doubt she is that intelligent-” The sudden bang shocked everyone. “ I don’t mind if you insult me but don’t insult my wife. You have crossed the line, Doctor Ah Ra. Excuse us, it is better for both of us to retire for the night. I’m sorry everyone,” Wonwoo stood up and gathered their things. Hana looked at the others, feeling bad for ruining their dinner. “I’m sorry for this Doctor Jeon,” Mrs. Jung looked at him, feeling guilty. He shook his head, “ No, It’s not your fault, Mrs.Jung. See you guys tomorrow,” 

“Are you okay,Wonwoo?” Hana sat down next to Wonwoo on the couch. “ I can’t believe Doctor Ah Ra has the nerve to say all of that. I thought that I didn’t drop hints that I was married and uninterested in her. It seems like she was ignoring those hints all along,” Wonwoo sighed. He used to feel so guilty when Doctor Ah Ra made moves on him, even though he, with the help of his other friends, did drop hints to her that he was uninterested and married. “It’s not your fault. It’s not like you give her false hope or anything. Some people choose to ignore things for their own happiness,” “Are you not mad or anything?” “ Why would I be angry about something that you can’t control? It’s not your fault that she falls for you. To be honest, I couldn’t get angry at her for falling for you but I am angry at her for not understanding boundaries,” Wonwoo hummed in understanding. “Anyway-” Hana quickly jumped on him, covering his face and neck with kisses. Wonwoo hauled in laughter. “You really miss me huh?” Hana kissed on the tip of his nose before answering. “ Of course. Who wouldn’t miss their husband, especially someone as hot as you?” Wonwoo grinned before flipping her on the couch. “Well, I guess I should give you all those loving that I missed during our last meeting,” 

“ Someone’s glowing,” Mrs. Jung grinned when she spotted Wonwoo walking to their circle. “I guess you have a good night,” Jeonghan lifted his eyebrow, teasing Wonwoo, making the man groan. “ Did he fu-” before the words leave Soonyoung’s mouth, Jihoon shoved the rice cakes into his mouth. “ Have some rice cakes, I brought when I was out of town for conference meeting,” Doctor Seungcheol from cardiology department pat Wonwoo’s back. “I heard about yesterday’s tea. I hope you will be fine today,” he smiled to assure Wonwoo. Before Wonwoo could say anything, Doctor Ah Ra made way for him. “ Doctor Jeon, can I talk to you for a minute?”. Wonwoo nodded before making her way to her office. “Have a seat,” She offered when they got into her office. “I’m fine. What is it?” He spoke coldly. Doctor Ah Ra sighed before apologizing. “ I apologize for yesterday. I guess I’m not good at handling things,” Wonwoo nodded without saying anything. “ I also hope to apologize to your wife directly. It was low on me for blowing my anger at her,” Wonwoo nodded before opening his mouth. “ I accept your apology. I hope we can work like before without any personal feeling attached,” . Hana was surprised when Doctor Ah Ra apologized to her directly when she was having lunch with Wonwoo. “ It is fine. I accept your apology,” she smiled softly at the woman. “ What I did was very wrong, so I am very sorry once again,” said Doctor Ah Ra before she dismissed herself. “ Did she really apologize?” Jeonghan ran and sat near the couple. “Yeah, why?” Wonwoo spoke as he finished chewing his food. “ Very surprised because she has a reputation,” Hana nodded, “ What reputation?” Wonwoo immediately cut, “ No need to worry baby,” Jihoon and Soonyoung came and sat at their table. “ Baby? Gross,” Jihoon snorted as he took a sip of his coke. Soonyoung grinned at Hana “ Hi, we meet again. I have a lot of questions to ask you,” Hana laughed at the man. “ Yeah, ask away” Soonyoung giggled when he got the approval before typing in his Tiger cased phone. “ Does Wonwoo love skinship?” Hana giggled before grinning deviously. “ He does look cold but he loves skinship. He is a very romantic guy despite his looks,” All of the boys wooed at the shy man who’s gaze was straight on his food. “ Ewww, tell me more!” Jihoon giggled. 

[ucflibrary]

Women’s History Month began as a week-long celebration in Sonoma, California in 1978 which was centered around International Women’s Day on March 8. A year later during a women’s history conference at Sarah Lawrence College, participants learned how successful the week was and decided to initiate similar in their own areas. President Carter issued the first proclamation for a national Women’s History Week in 1980. In 1987, Congress (after being petitioned by the National Women’s History Project) passed Pub. L. 100-9 designating March as Women’s History Month. U.S. Presidents have issued proclamations on Women’s History Month since 1988.

 The Libraries will be hosting two virtual events to celebrate Women’s History Month for 2021. The first is a talk by Nicholson School of Communication faculty member, Dr. Kimberly Voss, called “Make No Mistake, Florida is Crucial”: Sen. Lori Wilson and the Equal Rights Amendment, which discusses efforts to ratify the ERA in Florida. The second is a panel discussion called Women & Academia in the Time of COVID where five UCF faculty and administrators will discuss the impact of the COVID pandemic and remote learning on their teaching, scholarship, service loads and personal lives. Both events are free and open to the public. Click on the links to register to attend.

 We have created a list of books about women, both history and fiction, suggested by staff. Please click on the read more link below to see the full book list with descriptions and catalog links. And don’t forget to stop by the John C. Hitt Library to browse the featured bookshelf on the main floor near the Research & Information Desk for additional Women’s History Month books.

 A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton Porter Elnora Comstock grows up on the banks of Limberlost Swamp in Indiana with her bitter mother, Katharine. Unable to afford an education, Elnora develops a plan to sell artifacts and moths from the swamp. Suggested by Pat Tiberii, Interlibrary Loan and Document Delivery Services

 A Woman of No Importance: the untold story of the American spy who helped win World War II by Sonia Purnell Based on new and extensive research, Sonia Purnell has for the first time uncovered the full secret life of Virginia Hall--an astounding and inspiring story of heroism, spycraft, resistance, and personal triumph over shocking adversity. It is the breathtaking story of how one woman's fierce persistence helped win the war. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services

 All the Horrors of War: a Jewish girl, a British doctor, and the liberation of Bergen-Belsen by Bernice Lerner Drawing on a wealth of sources, including Hughes's papers, war diaries, oral histories, and interviews, this gripping volume combines scholarly research with narrative storytelling in describing the suffering of Nazi victims, the overwhelming presence of death at Bergen-Belsen, and characters who exemplify the human capacity for fortitude. Lerner, Rachel's daughter, has special insight into the torment her mother suffered. The first book to pair the story of a Holocaust victim with that of a liberator, it compels readers to consider the full, complex humanity of both. Suggested by Katie Kirwan, Acquisitions & Collections

 Data Feminism by Catherine D'Ignazio and Lauren F. Klein This book offers strategies for data scientists seeking to learn how feminism can help them work toward justice, and for feminists who want to focus their efforts on the growing field of data science. But it is about much more than gender. It is about power, about who has it and who doesn't, and about how those differentials of power can be challenged and changed. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Field o' My Dreams: the poetry of Gene Stratton-Porter compiled and edited by Mary DeJong Obuchowski In her introduction to Porter’s work, Obuchowski argues that the natural and spiritual themes of Porter’s poetry mirror the self-same concerns regarding nature and social issues found in her fiction and nonfiction. Reflecting and in some cases reacting against, current social attitudes at a time of political and demographic change, she was in demand as a columnist for popular magazines and a widely read fiction writer. Porter wielded considerable influence over her reading public, and in that role she acted as a reformer, particularly regarding the environment but also on behalf of women, children, and education. Suggested by Pat Tiberii, Interlibrary Loan and Document Delivery Services

 Finish the Fight!: the brave and revolutionary women who fought for the right to vote written by the Staff of The New York Times Who was at the forefront of women's right to vote? We know a few famous names, like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, but what about so many others from diverse backgrounds—black, Asian, Latinx, Native American, and more—who helped lead the fight for suffrage? On the hundredth anniversary of the historic win for women's rights, it's time to celebrate the names and stories of the women whose stories have yet to be told. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Founding Sisters and the Nineteenth Amendment by Eleanor Clift In this riveting account, political analyst Eleanor Clift chronicles the many thrilling twists and turns of the suffrage struggle and shows how the issues and arguments that surrounded the movement still reverberate today. Beginning with the Seneca Falls Woman’s Rights Convention of 1848, Clift introduces the movement’s leaders, recounts the marches and demonstrations, and profiles the opposition–antisuffragists, both men and women, who would do anything to stop women from getting the vote. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee Casey Han's four years at Princeton gave her many things, "But no job and a number of bad habits." Casey's parents, who live in Queens, are Korean immigrants working in a dry cleaner, desperately trying to hold on to their culture and their identity. Their daughter, on the other hand, has entered into rarified American society via scholarships. But after graduation, Casey sees the reality of having expensive habits without the means to sustain them. As she navigates Manhattan, we see her life and the lives around her, culminating in a portrait of New York City and its world of haves and have-nots. This fresh exploration of the complex layers we inhabit both in society and within ourselves. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 From Equal Suffrage to Equal Rights: Alice Paul and the National Woman's Party, 1910-1928 by Christine A. Lunardini The woman's movements and work in American history during the second two decades, was dramatic. It dealt with the past, with pageants and politics; with different organizations and with conflict from within. It took on the Democrats, founded a National Woman's Party; it waged a home front war. It dealt with prison, and resolution. It went from equal suffrage to equal rights. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Indelicacy by Amina Cain A cleaning woman at a museum of art nurtures aspirations to do more than simply dust the paintings around her. She dreams of having the liberty to explore them in writing, and so must find a way to win herself the time and security to use her mind. She escapes her lot by marrying a rich man, but having gained a husband, a house, high society, and a maid, she finds that her new life of privilege is no less constrained. Not only has she taken up different forms of time-consuming labor - social and erotic - but she is now, however passively, forcing other women to clean up after her. Perhaps another and more drastic solution is necessary? Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 See Jane Win: the inspiring story of the women changing American politics by Caitlin Moscatello After November 8, 2016, first came the sadness; then came the rage, the activism, and the protests; and, finally, for thousands of women, the next step was to run for office—many of them for the first time. More women campaigned for local or national office in the 2018 election cycle than at any other time in US history, challenging accepted notions about who seeks power and who gets it. Journalist Caitlin Moscatello reported on this wave of female candidates for New York magazine's The Cut, Glamour, and Elle. In this book, she further documents this pivotal time in women's history. Closely following four candidates throughout the entire process, from the decision to run through Election Day, readers are taken inside their exciting, winning campaigns and the sometimes thrilling, sometimes brutal realities of running for office while female. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Taking on the Trust: the epic battle of Ida Tarbell and John D. Rockefeller by Steve Weinberg Long before the rise of mega-corporations like Wal-Mart and Microsoft, Standard Oil controlled the oil industry with a monopolistic force unprecedented in American business history. Undaunted by the ruthless power of its owner, John D. Rockefeller, a fearless and ambitious reporter named Ida Minerva Tarbell confronted the company known simply as “The Trust.” Through her peerless fact gathering and devastating prose, Tarbell, a muckraking reporter at McClure’s magazine, pioneered the new practice of investigative journalism. Her shocking discoveries about Standard Oil and Rockefeller led, inexorably, to a dramatic confrontation during the opening decade of the twentieth century that culminated in the landmark 1911 Supreme Court antitrust decision breaking up the monopolies and forever altering the landscape of modern American industry. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services

 The Book of Gutsy Women: favorite stories of courage and resilience by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Chelsea Clinton Hillary Rodham Clinton and her daughter, Chelsea, share the stories of the gutsy women who have inspired them—women with the courage to stand up to the status quo, ask hard questions, and get the job done. Ensuring the rights and opportunities of women and girls remains a big piece of the unfinished business of the twenty-first century. While there's a lot of work to do, we know that throughout history and around the globe women have overcome the toughest resistance imaginable to win victories that have made progress possible for all of us. That is the achievement of each of the women in this book. To us, they are all gutsy women -- leaders with the courage to stand up to the status quo, ask hard questions, and get the job done. So in the moments when the long haul seems awfully long, we hope you will draw strength from these stories. Because if history shows one thing, it's that the world needs  gutsy women. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 The Good Fight by Shirley Chisholm Chisholm describes being the first woman, and first black woman, to run for President, and how politicians operate. She writes about her relationships with black political leaders Walter Fauntroy, Louis Stokes, Ron Dellums, and Julian Bond. She gives her views on what direction black politics should take in the years to come. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Unapologetic: a Black, queer, and feminist mandate for radical movements by Charlene A. Carruthers Drawing on Black intellectual and grassroots organizing traditions, including the Haitian Revolution, the US civil rights movement, and LGBTQ rights and feminist movements, Carruthers challenges all of us engaged in the social justice struggle to make the movement for Black liberation more radical, more queer, and more feminist. She offers a flexible model of what deeply effective organizing can be, anchored in the Chicago model of activism, which features long-term commitment, cultural sensitivity, creative strategizing, and multiple cross-group alliances. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Unmarriageable by Soniah Kamal In this retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in modern-day Pakistan, Alys Binat has sworn never to marry--until an encounter with one Mr. Darsee at a wedding makes her reconsider. A scandal and vicious rumor in the Binat family have destroyed their fortune and prospects for desirable marriages, but Alys, the second and most practical of the five Binat daughters, has found happiness teaching English literature to schoolgirls. Knowing that many of her students won't make it to graduation before dropping out to marry and start having children, Alys teaches them about Jane Austen and her other literary heroes and hopes to inspire them to dream of more. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

[madeleinesfm-blog]

             *  𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨  𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞  !  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  (  and  actually  coming  back  ,  but  i  decided  to  change  my  alias  because  i’m  a  certified  child  )  ,  but  if  you’ve  been  here  since  opening  ,  then  you  once  probably  knew  me  as  kris  .  i  prefer  she  /  her  or  they  /  them  pronouns  ,  i’m  21+  ,  and  reside  in  the  est  timezone  .  nonetheless  ,  i  missed  six  and  i  decided  to  come  back  ,  but  this  time  with  my  woman  crush  everyday  ,  madeleine  kim  .  she’s  a  spoiled  brat  and  quite  literally  an  asshole  ,  so  please  bear  with  me  for  this  lengthy  intro  !  

            (  rosé  .  cis  female  .  she  /  her  .  twenty  four  )  omg  !  i  was  walking  yonge  street  downtown  ,  and  you’ll  never  guess  who  i  saw  .  madeleine  kim  !  i  just  saw  a  post  about  them  on  sixsecrets  !  i  think  it  said  something  like  ‘  madeleine  kim  gets  in  a  twitter  war  with  anti  -  fan  ,  and  we’re  living  for  her  clapbacks  !  ’  .  isn’t  that  wild  ?  i  guess  it  makes  sense  though  ,  since  they’re  apparently  contemptuous  and  loathsome  ,  but  i’ve  heard  they’re  also  unadulterated  and  companionable  .  i  mean  ,  it’s  not  like  i  know  them  personally  —  they’re  a  famous  heiress  and  youtuber  !  you  know  ,  i’ve  actually  heard  rumors  that  redacted  ,  but  they’re  just  rumors  ...  i  think  .  if  you  happen  to  run  into  them  ,  tell  them  i’m  their  biggest  fan  !

i.  statistics  .

NAME  :  madeleine  kim  .

NICKNAMES  :  mads  +  maddy  .

AGE  +  DATE  OF  BIRTH  :  24  +  june  19th  ,  1996  .

ASTROLOGICAL  SIGN  :  gemini  ,  gemini  sun  +  cancer  moon  .

MYERS - BRIGGS  PERSONALITY  TYPE  :  estp  .

MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  neutral  evil  .

ENNEAGRAM  TYPE  :  the  observer  .

GENDER  +  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  +  she  /  her  /  hers  .

PLACE  OF  BIRTH  :  ascot  ,  queensland  ,  australia  .

PLACE  OF  RESIDENCE  :  toronto  ,  ontario  ,  canada  +  click  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .

OCCUPATION  :  social  media  influencer  ,  heiress  +  model  .

NATIONALITY  :  australian  .

ETHNICITY  :  korean  .

PINTEREST  :  click  .

ii.  biography  .

madeleine  kim  was  born  to  tae - min  and  min - ji  kim  during  the  summer  of  1996  in  sydney  ,  aus  .  tae - min  had  already  been  growing  a  fortune  as  he  was  one  of  the  top  real  estate  agents  within  the  city  of  ascot  .  min - ji  was  a  woman  who  wanted  everything  handed  to  her  ,  and  thus  ,  when  madeleine  was  two  her  parents  had  gotten  a  divorce  .  her  mother  went  off  to  marry  another  man  ,  and  she  hasn’t  seen  her  since  she  walked  out  with  her  louis  vuitton  suitcases  .

for  the  next  five  years  ,  tae - min  put  romance  on  the  back  burner  as  he  continued  to  build  his  real  estate  empire  .  eventually  ,  he  left  the  agency  he  was  working  with  to  open  his  own  ,  and  the  agency  was  an  instant  success  due  to  previous  clients  continuously  sending  their  referrals  to  him  .  the  agency  slowly  began  to  incorporate  custom  builds  into  their  system  ,  adding  on  to  the  empire  .

for  little  madeleine  ,   she  was  the  apple  of  her  father’s  eye  .  he  was  continuously  spoiling  her  and  getting  her  whatever  she  wanted  .  if  she  wanted  a  princess  themed  birthday  ,  then  she  was  getting  a  custom  made  dress  and  a  little  tiara  to  match  .  there  was  never  a  day  where  she  didn’t  get  everything  that  she  asked  for  ,  and  she  especially  would  always  clasp  her  hands  together  every  night  and  ask  to  not  have  a  new  mommy  .

sadly  ,  this  was  the  one  time  where  madeleine  didn’t  get  what  she  asked  for  as  she  was  soon  introduced  to  her  step - mother  ,  bo - ra  jeong  ,  when  she  was  thirteen  years  old  .  bo - ra  was  a  nasty  woman  ,  a  woman  who  didn’t  want  children  ,  and  believed  that  children  should  neither  be  seen  or  heard  .  although  madeleine  didn’t  know  her  biological  mother  ,  she  definitely  took  after  her  in  terms  of  personality  as  she  continuously  bumped  heads  with  her  step - mother  .  there  was  never  a  moment  where  the  two  weren’t  at  each  other’s  throats  ,  and  madeleine  was  especially  upset  with  her  father  for  never  taking  her  side  .

thus  ,  madeleine  became  an  angry  girl  who  took  all  of  her  frustrations  out  elsewhere  .  during  her  high  school  years  is  when  madeleine  made  her  youtube  channel  .  originally  ,  it  could  have  been  seen  as  a  place  where  she  ranted  out  her  frustrations  about  her  step - mother  ,  but  she  primarily  liked  the  aspect  of  doing  something  creative  .  for  the  first  year  ,  she  transitioned  out  of  ranting  lol  and  into  doing  things  she  actually  enjoyed  .  she  often  talked  about  clothing  ,  hair  ,  and  makeup  ,  but  the  subscriber  count  was  very  slow  .  

during  that  time  ,  madeleine  was  faking  being  ‘  relatable  ’  as  it  was  the  most  popular  way  to  grow  a  channel  ,  so  she  often  hid  the  designer  labels  in  her  bedroom  and  filmed  in  one  of  the  smaller  rooms  in  their  home  .  thanks  to  this  ,  her  subscriber  count  began  to  slow  ,  and  she  slowly  changed  back  to  her  actual  personality  where  she  began  to  show  off  the  things  she  or  her  father  purchased  for  her  .  

it  was  in  2014  when  madeleine  graduated  from  high  school  ,  and  her  step - mother  pushed  for  her  to  move  out  .  madeleine  was  annoyed  by  this  ,  but  with  her  channel  growing  ,  she  knew  that  she  was  able  to  do  so  .  not  only  that  ,  but  she  now  had  access  to  the  money  that  her  father  had  been  saving  for  years  ,  so  madeleine  left  and  decided  to  make  toronto  her  new  home  .

as  an  eighteen  year  old  moving  to  a  new  country  ,  madeleine  decided  that  she  would  document  the  journey  through  a  series  on  her  channel  ,  which  aided  in  the  boost  in  her  follower  count  .  she  showed  the  process  of  finding  an  apartment  ,  purchasing  furniture  and  moving  in  ,  which  led  to  a  lot  of  chaotic  vlogs  and  people  really  enjoyed  seeing  her  personality  shine  through  .

madeleine  has  now  been  living  in  toronto  for  the  last  six  years  ,  and  has  been  gaining  subscribers  slowly  but  surely  .  although  she  does  weekly  vlogs  ,  she  still  does  sit  down  videos  for  makeup  ,  fashion  ,  and  hair  .  

iii.  social  media  statistics  .

YOUTUBE  :  23.5m  subscribers  .

INSTAGRAM  :  21m  followers  .  

TWITTER  :  9.8m  followers  .

TIKTOK  :  3.2m  followers  .

iv.  temperament  .

she’s  a  bitch  and  that’s  that  on  that  OUYHUYOIU  .  she’s  very  blunt  and  doesn’t  find  a  reason  to  hold  her  tongue  because  how  the  hell  else  is  she  supposed  to  get  what  she  wants  .  of  course  ,  she’s  really  easy  to  get  along  with  but  it’s  also  equally  as  easy  to  get  on  her  bad  side  ,  so  she  can  turn  into  an  asshole  real  quick  .

madeleine  has  a  HUGE  superiority  complex  ,  and  it’s  so  ugly  !  she  doesn’t  outright  brag  because  she’s  really  not  that  bad  ,  but  it’s  not  unheard  of  her  to  make  little  subtle  remarks  in  reference  to  the  amount  of  money  her  family  has  .  to  put  it  simply  ,  madeleine  is  the  mean  friend  .

she’s  a  person  who  likes  to  challenge  almost  everything  ,  so  she  has  a  habit  of  coming  off  as  someone  who  creates  chaos  just  for  the  sake  of  it  .  she’s  definitely  not  a  stone  cold  bitch  by  any  means  ,  but  depending  on  certain  situations  she  can  sometimes  lack  sympathy  /  compassion  and  will  straight  up  tell  someone  to  ‘  get  over  it  ’  .   she  might  not  be  the  one  to  start  arguments  ,  but  she  will  finish  them  .

v.  headcanons  .

she  is  never  without  her  vlogging  camera  !  she  always  has  extra  batteries  in  her  purse  just  in  case  ,  so  she’s  ready  to  whip  out  her  camera  whenever  the  moment  calls  for  one  .

madeleine  is  a  pot  stirrer  and  she  wears  that  badge  with  pride  .  do  NOT  tell  her  a  secret  because  she  is  not  one  to  be  trusted  with  such  information  .  she  will  spill  the  beans  ,  tote  the  news  to  her  friends  (  especially  if  she  doesn’t  like  you  )  ,  and  be  hella  shady  .  she  will  literally  spill  your  tea  and  own  the  fact  that  she  did  .

her  hair  is  canon  to  rosé’s  as  she  was  a  strawberry  blonde  for  a  very  long  time  before  dying  it  with  a  silver  tone  with  blue  highlights  .  has  a  habit  of  always  touching  her  hair  and  forever  has  a  scrunchie  in  her  bag  because  she  can’t  live  without  them  .  

the  spare  bedroom  of  her  apartment  is  reserved  for  filming  ,  so  she  set  up  ‘  stations  ’  where  one  side  is  made  for  doing  makeup  videos  ,  another  is  used  for  fashion  /  standing  videos  ,  and  the  back  wall  is  where  she  films  sit  down  videos  .  she  mostly  loves  making  vlogs  ,  though  ,  and  she  does  weekly  videos  .

madeleine  is  calm  chaos  ,  which  is  the  best  way  to  explain  her  .  she  doesn’t  hold  her  tongue  (  per  her  headline  )  ,  and  she  doesn’t  really  hold  her  tongue  either  .  very  much  has  twitter  fingers  but  she  backs  it  up  .

vi.  wanted  connections  .

            my  favorite  part  aka  plots  !  i  find  rich  kids  rps  having  room  for  plenty  of  stuff  ,  so  if  none  of  this  works  or  if  there’s  something  else  you  want  to  do  ,  please  let  me  know  !  all  of  these  plots  are  open  to  female  ,  male  ,  and  non - binary  pals  ,  so  if  something  interests  you  as  well  please  yell  at  me  about  it  because  i  love  yelling  about  plots  NJFBHDBSJHDS  .  

give  me  an  ex - girlfriend  or  give  me  death  !  i’m  thinking  about  something  that  was  cute  and  soft  ,  someone  who  appeared  in  her  vlogs  a  lot  and  someone  who  her  subscribers  absolutely  adored  !  i’m  thinking  that  they  broke  up  on  relatively  mutual  /  good  terms  ,  so  they’ve  become  good  friends  since  their  break  up  !

due  to  her  personality  ,  i  wouldn’t  be  surprised  if  madeleine  found  herself  in  a  toxic  relationship  .  lots  of  back  and  forth  ,  lots  of  arguments  that  ended  in  them  quite  literally  kissing  and  making  up  ,  but  give  me  something  i’ll  dream  about  KNFDBSIFDS  .

i  don’t  really  have  a  label  for  this  one  ,  but  something  that  was  highly  disapproved  by  their  friends  /  inner  circle  ?  this  would  require  a  little  more  plotting  just  to  get  dynamics  down  ,  but  i’m  just  picturing  something  where  when  they  made  it  official  their  friends  were  like  ‘  why  would  you  date  them  ?  ’  so  there  was  probably  a  lot  of  moments  where  they  felt  like  it  was  them  against  the  world  but  i  think  it  could  be  an  interesting  dynamic  to  write  !

the  way  that  madeleine  has  enemies  is  sickening  !  i’m  looking  for  something  where  they  genuinely  hate  one  another  and  there’s  no  chance  of  them  EVER  becoming  friends  .  i  have  no  clue  as  to  why  they  wouldn’t  be  friends  ,  but  i  want  is  please  .

some  collaborators  !  people  who  show  up  on  her  igtv  reels  every  so  often  or  even  in  her  youtube  videos  (  in  videos  like  ‘  what  my  friend  wears  to  fashion  week  ’  or  even  general  vlogs  )  ,  and  they  go  on  little  adventures  with  one  another  !  i  just  think  it  could  be  something  cute  and  fun  !

[kimshavacado]

Dead Heat Ch. 1

Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader

Genre: Yet another Arranged Marriage/Mafia AU

Summary: Three extremely powerful families with enough power to bring down entire governments, all with vastly different views on how things should be run. The Min family thinks everything can be solved with money, the Jeon family think everything can be solved with violence, and the Kim family relies more on thought which leads to a lack of action. When Kim Y/N loses her father, she only has one way to save herself and her family. But it involves having to give herself over to a stranger. How the hell is she not supposed to punch him in his stupid rich face?

Dead Heat Masterlist

A/N: Hi there lovelies. This is the first time I’ve ever written anything of my own, I usually just edit friends work, it’s something I’ve been doing for years. I came up with this weird plot and thought I’d take a shot at it. I’ve also always wanted to write Y/N as a badass. This is just another stereotypical fic, and I’m not really sure how long this will be, but I’m kinda looking forward to it. :D

Chapter 1: The Fire In Her Eyes

Never once have you felt the way that you feel right now. Even when you think about all the shit you’ve been put through the past 24 years of your life, nothing comes close to the scale of the fire coursing through your vanes in this moment. It’s not just anger, it’s bigger and more complex. Sure, you’re angry. At your father, at yourself, and at the asshole standing in front of you. But there’s something that adds a hollowness to the melting pot of emotions inside of you. Loneliness. Helplessness. That man’s stupid face as it looks at you certainly doesn’t help. He has this confused expression that’s just dying to be wiped off of his face by a sharp cut of your hand. It seems comical how dull someone could be. You feel everything piling up to the point where you’re about to explode. But instead of keeping face as usual you storm toward the man with fire in your eyes.

*2 weeks earlier*

“Y/N, it’s time to go.” Your best friend of over 20 years says down to you. Instead of responding, you get up off the couch that you’ve been sitting on for the past 2 hours and silently follow him as he leads you both down the building’s main staircase. As you walk through the crowd of people dressed in black he glances back at you a couple of times, most likely trying to analyze your vacant expression.

“The fact that you haven’t even said a word today makes it seem like you’re actually sad he’s gone.”

At hearing this you stop walking. You finally look your friend in the eyes and notice the worried expression on his face. Your hard stare causes his expression to fall. He looks away from you and towards the floor as you continue walking past him. When you reach the base of the stairs, you barely notice the faces of the well-dressed people you pass as you head directly out the door. You’d rather die than receive looks of pity from people you barely know.

Once outside you find solace in the dark and quiet car that’s been waiting for you. You’re alone for less than a minute before Jimin finally joins you inside. When the car starts moving, he doesn’t say anything else to you because he knows you more than anyone. He knows exactly what situation you’re in right now. You’re not even remotely sad about the death of your father. Not with all the shit he put you through growing up.

On one hand you feel like a weight has been lifted off you because he’s gone. No one is left to tell you what your purpose in life is. On the other hand, a new weight has been placed on your shoulders because of what’s about to happen to your family. Something your father had never anticipated happening was dying and leaving you in charge. Yet his untimely death had spoiled his plans. You, being unmarried and an only child, were all that were left of the Kim’s.

As the car finally pulled up to the decently sized mansion you and Jimin still sat in silence. You didn’t notice when Jimin turned his head towards you as you sat there contemplating the events over the last few days. You heard him let out a sigh and let ti hang in the air before you finally faced him and broke the silence.

“I’m sorry. Thanks for today.” You say as you finally look away, not feeling the need to say anything else.

That was something that was great about your relationship, words weren’t always needed. He knew you needed time to sort your thoughts out before a heartfelt discussion on what the hell you were going to do about your situation. You might have seen a slight reassuring smile on his lips after your thanks had you not already been dragging yourself out of the car leaving him inside as you make your way up the steps of your home.

Before you know it you are laying on your bed in your pajamas staring at the ceiling. You barely remember walking up your large staircase or even changing out of your black funeral dress. The house is quiet and empty which makes every moment stretch on forever but simultaneously flash by in the blink of an eye. Your mind is in this surreal state of limbo, but it gives you the peace to go over your options.

Your family is likely to support your father’s opinions on you taking over. They’re very traditional and have their eyes set on a strong male head of the family. There are some who would support your claim, but many don’t know of your abilities to lead since you were so inhibited by your father. Theoretically, someone else in the family could take over, most likely Jin. He’s never expressed interest in leading the entire family but he’s highly respected here. But then what happens to you? You can’t just leave and start a new life, and know you’d never be able to.

If this is the case and someone else takes over, you’ll probably be given away to someone. Jin is married already so that ruins your chances of coming even close to staying as you are in the family. Not that you want to marry him anyway, sure he’s got a pretty face, but he thinks a lot like your father, which is something you aren’t very fond of. Still, your life will never be the same. You just hope that that’ll be a good thing. So long as you get out of it alive.

That night you dream of your childhood. There are a few moments from when you were younger that let you forget the truth about your lifeand future and you are lucky enough to recall them tonight, when you need it most. Tonight you recall the night that you and Jimin became friends.

It was during some annual family get together. It wasn’t a fancy ordeal, just a time for everyone to be together. All the parents had left the children to mingle in a separate area of the house. Jimin had always seen you around at these things. When you were around all the other kids he was intimidated by you.

You were loud and friendly while he was quiet and shy. This is why little Jimin found it strange when he didn’t see you in the center of the room feasting on the attention of the other kids. After wandering, he instead found you in a room down the hall sitting outside of an open window looking up at the sky. It was the first time in days it had been clear enough to see the stars.

Jimin climbed outside to join you and sat next to you silently. The two of you star gaze for quite a while without saying anything.

“What do you think it’s like to be a star?” You ask the young boy next to you. 

“I… don’t know.” He timidly answers.

“I think it’d be wonderful. You can look down and see everything that’s going on everywhere in the world, and you get to see a ton of other stars too!” You excitedly answer your own question.

“I heard that when people die, they turn into stars.” Jimin adds.

“Really!? So one day I’ll get to be a real life star!?” Jimin sees you bursting with excitement and is only able to give you the biggest eye smile you’ve ever seen as he nods in confirmation.

You two spend the rest of the night alternating between talking about what you would do as stars and gazing in silence. It was really the first time when you felt you could be yourself around someone else. Maybe it was because of how innocent he seemed. You wish you could relive moments like that every night, when times were simpler. But with morning comes the reminder of the harsh reality that you are going to have to face.

The next day is a meeting with some high-ranking men in the Kim family. They too have been wondering what the hell was going to happen with your father gone. It’s no surprise to you how quickly it was decided that Jin, one of your father’s right-hand men would take over at least temporarily. At this point you shut your brain down, just wanting to be anywhere but here, especially when they move on to politics of the change and relationships with the other families.

After over an hour of the board’s relentless debating, you let your mind start to wander away from all the issues in your life. You’re about five seconds from dozing off when you catch the end of a certain sentence.

“…best interest to ally families.” Your eyes immediately shoot toward the direction of the speaker knowing exactly where this is going. Jin, one of your father’s righthand men, notices your sudden attention on him.

 “Since the death of his father last year, Min Yoongi has become the richest man in the country. Your father and his were in good standing with each other before their deaths. Marriage between our families was something that was discussed but never acted upon because of unfortunate timing. I’ve talked with Min representatives and it’s something that they’d still be interested in.”

 “What would that do for us?” I ask. “So what, I go marry him and become a Min?” 

“Like we were saying before, Y/N, we’re not in the best financial position.” Jin responds, realizing you weren’t listening to everything before.

“Why do you think that is?” You challenge.

“Y/N-“

“We pride ourselves in what? How smart we think we are? How we think things out and come up with long term plans that we never carry out?” You interrupt. Somehow you keep face and continue your rant towards the board.

“We’re a sorry excuse for a family, we’ve got no power and can easily be cut down by everyone else because my father, who you seem to hold in such high regard, was a misogynistic pig who cared more about how many different brands of scotch he could collect that the longevity of the family-”

 “Y/N!” Jin stops you and stands up, staring you down. So you do the same. You stand and place your palm of the table. You direct your serious expression towards the faces of the surprised members of the board until you land back on Jin.

You look pissed but composed, an ability you got from your father which made it look like you could set fire to the entire world and still have the same look in your eyes. It looks like Jin is about to say something, but you don’t give him the privilege.

 “You know I’d do better.” And you calmly turn and walk out.

 You’ve lost, but you’ve also won. Things were decided in the meeting that wouldn’t be easy to change, but you did gain something. The words you said about the family and your father would’ve gotten anyone else killed, but instead it showed them all who you were. Not many people had seen the fire in you come out when your father was alive. Women were always supposed to behave and save face, but that never changed the fact that you are your father’s only child.

Even though he wasn’t a good man, he was a frightening one. He was intelligent and everyone knew that he was capable of horrible things. You on the other hand, knew he didn’t care about horrible things or what his job was as the head of the family. There was a time where he might have been an awesome scary boss, but you surely hadn’t seen it.

He was more content on just existing and having the power, which might have worked had there not been other families and had we not been involved with organized crime. And now he’s dead for it. You, however, know what it takes to be the biggest player in the game and hope you get to be as cunning as he was because you know you wouldn’t waste it. But for now, you have to worry about crap like marriage instead.

Min Yoongi, the richest bachelor in the country. How lucky are you? You bet he’s just like his father.

Min Yoongi sits across the table from you with an unreadable expression on his face. It’s almost like he doesn’t care that any of this is happening. Like it’s some minor annoyance and he’d rather be somewhere else.

The meeting is fast and formal and you two don’t say a word to each other. Papers and pens are exchanged as well as conversation between family representatives.

Eventually you catch his eyes and you two remain unmoved in a stare down. The intenseness of your expression causes Yoongi to furrow his brows. It’s an expression of curiosity, afterall, he’s never met you why are you suddenly looking at him like you’re about to jump across the table and stab him with one of the pens?

The men around you interrupt your little exchange by shaking hands and collecting papers. You watch as they act like they just bought a car or something. Not just put two incompatible people together.

By the time you turn away from the final handshakes, you see Yoongi is gone. What a charmer. At least that means I may not see him often. Your men collect you and take you home, which will soon not be your home. 

That night you’re out on your balcony with Jimin watching the sky as you talk about the strange meeting.

“Was he cute at least?” Jimin asks you.

“I can’t remember, I was too focused on the dumb look on his face. How could someone not care what the hell someone else does with their life? It was like I was some minor disruption in his day.” Jimin looks at you expectantly basically ignoring what you said.

“He’s not fat.” You concede. “Not horrible looking, but he is short. You’d probably like him.”

“I’m gonna assume you say that because he’s attractive and not because you think I’m short.” He responds. You snort at this as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“What am I going to do?” You ask yourself after a moment.

“Use the situation to your advantage and take what’s yours. It’s what you do best.” Jimin tells you, somehow knowing an answer that would work for you. You knew you picked a good best friend. The two of you sat under the sky and star gazed that night for what would be the last time.

A/N: I promise it’ll get a little less cliché in future parts. The first scene I wrote which made me want to write this in the first place is coming soon along with some Yoongi. I had to rewrite the entire plot of the first chapter so I hope there are no holes so far. I hope this turns out well. Thanks lovelies.

Next Chapter

[matildainmotion]

All The Things I Wish I’d Said on Woman’s Hour

           As many of you will know we went on Woman’s Hour last Thursday morning, 10.30am, the last item up before the daily drama. ‘We’ here is Mothers Who Make, represented by me, Lucy Simm from Halifax and Naomi Lange from Bristol (thank you Lucy and Naomi!). We had all of 12 minutes which the producer assured us is a long time on live radio, and we had all of 3.5 million listeners. What an amazing opportunity. So amazing that as soon as we came off the air at 10.42am, and for the 48 hours since, the radio of my mind has been live streaming all the things I wish I’d said. I have a long list of other things I should be focussing on  – I’m moving house and there are many boxes to sort and pack. Meanwhile my son wants me to set him a continuous series of ‘Yoda-puzzles’ and my daughter wants The Tiger Who Came to Tea read over again. I think I’d better broadcast here all the things I wish I’d said to Jenni Murray so that I can get on with the urgent mothering at hand. It is unlikely to reach 3.5 million of you. Maybe 35. I’ll settle for that, since at the core of what I wish I’d said is an issue about value, what things are worth and how we talk about them in a way that does not bring us back to measuring by numbers. Having said that, I can tell you that there are exactly 4 things I wish I’d said – I’ve been counting them over and over. Here goes…

           Firstly, for me, our 12 minutes didn’t start too well. Jenni Murray introduced us as, “A network for women with children who are keen to be full time mothers but also want to set up some kind of career in the arts…”. I did manage to clarify on air that Mothers Who Make is for ANY kind of mother, although I didn’t get to spell out the full list: stay-at-home; out-at-work; single; married; divorced; surrogate; step; grand; adoptive; any race, religion, sexuality, gender identity. And it is also for ANY kind of maker, professional and/or passionate, and not only for those ‘making a career in the arts,’ since a creative practice lies at the heart of so many kinds of work (ask my sister, the eminent scientist, who would also call herself a mother who makes). But there is something else I would have liked to say as well: that phrase ‘full time mother’ bothers me, because it is a tautology. Whoever heard of a ’part time mother’? Being ‘full time’ is part of the job description of motherhood, however much support you have, however much you have to or choose to enlist the help of a nursery or nanny. Sorry to interrupt you Jenni, I just wanted to clarify that one. Let’s go on…..

           Secondly, despite the fact that when asked for a one line description of myself prior to the show, I said I was “a theatre-maker, writer and mother”, I was introduced as a “former aerialist” and so I should have seen the question coming……”Do you miss your circus work?” I said no. I gave a nervous laugh. I said I didn’t miss the push ups. I didn’t say but thought, “Why are you asking me that? It’s irrelevant!” But it isn’t. It wasn’t – it was right on topic because it was a question about what roles are easily visible, which have glamour and which don’t, and ‘trapeze artist’ is so much more glamorous than ‘mum.’ I sincerely want to replay this section of the interview. Please? Can I? Here goes, for your ears only.……

”Do you miss your circus work?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t because I’m writing and I’m being a mother now and both of these things are far more daring than anything I ever did in circus. In fact I gave up the circus work for the very reason you are asking me about it. Because it was too cool. Because I grew tired of being cast as the free-flying fairy or the sexy sorceress - female archetypes, slumped into stereotypes. None of that felt dangerous or difficult, unlike my mothering, which is so challenging it gives me vertigo every single day. ”

           Imagine if I had managed to say that on Radio 4.

           Third thing: a question I knew was coming but I still didn’t get it quite right: “Why not include the fathers? Why Mothers Who Make? Why not ‘parents who make’?” I had the words ready, but I didn’t change my answer to acknowledge the context, to talk to the men that were listening in that moment. I didn’t manage to tell them that I would love them to set up their own ‘Fathers Who Make’ group, and for someone else to set up a ‘Parents Who Make’ one. We need all of these groups. I don’t have time to run them all, but amongst the 3.5 million of those listeners maybe there was someone with the passion and the energy to do it. I hope they do it anyway.

           And finally, the last question of our 12 minute slot, and the real deal breaker: “Are any of you actually making a living doing this?” Jenni Murray asked. At 10.40am on Thursday morning I felt obliged to respond to this by acknowledging how fortunate I am to have my husband’s financial support - I gave the polite, slightly embarrassing answer that the question was inviting. I sincerely wish I hadn’t. I’d like to have questioned the question because it is linked to the attitude that money is what gives work a stamp of approval, money makes it valid and valuable, and any work that is unpaid is a privilege (because who else could afford to do it?), a fun hobby with little status. But that is almost all mothering. That is most making. So I wish I had said: “Am I making a living? Yes actually. Emphatically yes. I am earning hardly any money but I’m making a living – I am making two lives, my son’s and my daughter’s, and I am trying to make all of our lives worth living. I am working as hard as my partner whose work is seemingly worth a lot more. Mothers Who Make exists precisely to give value to this work that is all too often unpaid and unseen - and we are doing the whole thing on a shoestring, with a tiny pot of funds and whole lot of goodwill and passion.” 

That would have rounded off our 12 minutes just fine.

           It feels important to acknowledge at this point that, despite all the things I didn’t say, we have had an overwhelmingly positive response to our 12 min slot. It has been wonderful to be contacted by so many new people. There are only the two of us at this point – Lizzy Humber, MWM’s producer, and me - and it is a busy time so please bear with us if it takes us a few weeks to get back to everyone.

           Meanwhile thank you for tuning in to all the things I wish I’d said on Thursday morning. You can listen again to the things I, Lucy and Naomi did say here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0bfx5lb

And you can join Mothers Who Make, via the holding page for our soon-to-launch website: https://motherswhomake.org

           Now it is late Saturday night and I had best get back to the gritty, daring, difficult job of making my living - I’ve boxes to pack, Yoda puzzles to invent, tigers to invite to tea, children to love, stuff to make.

.

[chucksandjeans]

2020 in Review and Goals for 2021

This has been a challenging year. I say that with the utmost respect for people around the world who have had it way worse that I had but, in all honesty, it’s been tough. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to separate out the days from the months and the weekends from the weekdays. For this year-end review, I thought about going off on a rant. That would have been easy because it was a sh!t year. But, I decided against that. The previous sentence will be the only and last negative thing I’ll pen in this entry because I truly believe that 2020 delivered many moments of positivity and hope for a world that was growing increasingly disconnected. Let’s put the sad stuff away. This means putting aside COVID19, the passing of icons and visionaries (RIP Kobe, Chadwick B, Sean C, RBG, George F), forest fires, political dohickeys, etc. For the first time in many years, humankind was up against common enemies and it united the world. The most uplifting part of 2020 was worth seeing, even if it meant we all had to see it from afar.

My daughter was born in January and I am grateful to see her grow up every single day. She was born the day just before the first COVID19 patient arrived at the very same hospital she was born at. Lucky much! I originally had plans for bachelor parties, work trips, going to the office (which seems outrageous now) and many other things, but I would not trade any of those for my daughter’s time. It has been incredible to share in Leia’s every day with my wonderful wife and mother of my child. I am lost for words when I think about how I will likely spend less time with my next child(ren) when life goes back to normal (fingers crossed). The three of us became closer than I could have ever imagined, and we built those memories in our first home. This home has an abundance of memories of 2020 and I am thankful for this house for keeping us safe, warm and loved. 

RELATIONSHIP - A

Staying at home with a newborn was tough but rewarding for Celine and I. Many friends, family and literature conjure up how draining it is on a relationship to raise a child. It is indeed personally draining physically and mentally, but it is not draining on our relationship. In fact, it has strengthened our relationship. I continue to be impressed every single day with this woman who has brought strength, kindness and patience to our child in addition to being a fantastic partner to me. We were unable to climb big physical mountains this year but we certainly are scaling the mountain of life in a more coordinated and stable fashion than ever before.

PARENTHOOD (new category) - B

Being a father is difficult. The fun stuff is easy - playing, tickling, carrying - but almost everything else is hard. This applies to feeding, pooping, wiping, teaching, and anything else you can think of. I have the basics downpat but I must admit that my ‘intermediate’ parenting skills are lacking. To make up for it, I have read a few books that talk about parenting best practises but I realized that these books are just opinions of other people. There is no one obvious parenting method that trumps all else. I kept the baby alive this year and as the years go by, I’ll need to come up with some specific principles to live by so that I can pass the right values on to her.

FAMILY - A

There have been limited chances for this category to shine in 2020 with various lockdowns in place. I can probably count how many times I have seen family on my toes and fingers and it’s been a constant battle in my head of whether I should listen or not listen to public health guidelines that are telling everyone to not mingle with those outside of your immediate household. During the lockdown, is it better to see family or not see family? Should we just see them anyway because we are family, but risk infection and super spreading? Is one good and the other bad? I don’t know, but for the most part, I have done what I think is best to protect my family, even at the expense of loneliness. I hope that I made the right decision(s).

FRIENDS - A+

With the backdrop of 2020, I think I did a splendid job with friends. I have delivered on my goals of reaching out to friends as much as possible and “hanging out” virtually to play games and chats. I organized a few outdoor gatherings at parts when the lockdown was lifted in the summer. I did good.

CAREER - A

I embarked on a new journey in 2020 and learned new skills and gained new experiences. It was a rewarding year for personal and professional growth. I am proud of myself for managing the fast-paced and always-reorging style of Square. Case in point, I am working for my third manager already in only 12 months in my role. I’ve managed to build strong relationships and inched closer to gaining clarity on my ambitions.

TRAVEL - A

We did a fair bit of exploring in 2020. Despite not being able to travel very far, Celine and I took it upon ourselves to maximize the opportunities that we had. I have let go of my prior country counting practise as I learned that what’s most important about traveling is experiencing new cultures and seeing new things off the beaten path, no matter the country. We became tourists in our own neighbourhood, Toronto and surrounding areas, Prince Edward County, and Bruce County to hike and see everything we could, all while lugging our growing baby. We used a stroller, a front baby carrier, a back baby carrier, and a shoulder baby carrier, hoisting a bag of Leia’s clothes and stuff to see what we could. It was a great year to get used to traveling with a baby. We are ready for international travel once the pandemic is over.

HEALTH - B-

I started a habit with Celine last summer of sharing, just before bed, three things that we are thankful for that day. We call it ‘daily affirmations’. We have built this into daily routine and it has worked very well to inject positivity into our day. Other than this mental wellness commitment, my overall physical health regime was tossed out the window with COVID19 and no access to a gym or proper equipment. I blame COVID19 but I really can only blame myself. I learned that I am very much a gym rat that enjoys quick bursts of workout in 45-60 min sequences. This can be bench press for 3 sets of 10 and squats for the same, but asking me to do HIIT or workout videos in my house with light dumbbells or bodyweight exercises just doesn’t do it for me. I have been bad at adapting to new workout regimes.

FINANCE - A

This year was great for the finances. Not having any ‘extra’ expenses, like vacations, in-person shopping and dining, our spending has never been lower. Celine’s been on mat leave and, surprisingly, despite lower family income, our budget has been healthy. Square stock also did well which delivered unexpected surprises, but this was serendipitous so I am not giving myself credit for that one.

PERSONAL - A+

I had a lot of time this year to “do me”, with the lockdown and all. I did not take as much paid-time off as I would have liked but in the time that I had, I was able to think deeply about my life and what I want to achieve. That’s a big plus. I also read a solid number of books, blowing by my stretch goal of 5 books. I read 11 (list below), with 7 in the last 2-3 weeks, thanks to my new Kobo Clara HD! I find the reading exhilarating and much more useful than watching TV shows, which I did a lot of too this year.

Alibaba: The House That Jack Ma Built - Duncan Clark

Tools of Titans - Tim Ferris

The Innovation Stack - Jim McKelvey

Good Strategy/Bad Strategy: The Difference and Why It Matters - Richard P. Rumelt

To Pixar and Beyond - Lawrence Levy

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - Amy Chua

How to Raise Successful People - Esther Wojcicki 

The Ride of a Lifetime - Robert Iger

Super Pumped: The Battle for Uber - Mike Isaac

Born a Crime - Trevor Noah

How Will You Measure Your Life? - Clayton M. Christensen

Range - David Epstein (currently reading into 2021)

2021 and Stretch Goals

RELATIONSHIP

Preamble: I recently read a book called ‘How Will You Measure Your Life’ and there was a concept that I wanted to implement. It’s called ‘jobs to be done’. It’s a popular framework in the product development world to tangibly describe what a product does for a user a.k.a. what does a user hire a certain product for. What does the customer need the product to do? The book draws connections to marriage such that partners think about the job that their partner needs them to do. For example, instead of “I’ll clean the house so that my wife doesn’t have to”, the concept asks that we first think about “what does my wife need me to be/do”, and then do that. It’s a simple but powerful way of putting the other person first.

I will think about what my wife needs and wants me to do before I make any assumptions using something like the ‘jobs to be done’ concept.

I will support my wife in her personal and career endeavors.

I will encourage my wife to be creative, ambitious and honest with herself so that she can find her path.

I will be an attentive and caring husband, and try to be positive in the most difficult situations. I will listen first and offer an opinion if suitable in the situation.

I will be cognizant that my wife is stressed from taking care of the baby and try to relieve her stress as much as possible.

I will recognize milestones and also everyday events because life is short.

Stretch: I will create and capture more memories outside of Instagram, through writing, photos or videos.

PARENTHOOD

Preamble: There are various schools of thought on parenting that have some similarities but more stark differences. Specifically the “Western” and “Chinese” schools have opposing tenets, and generically there are more studies not specific to raising children that pose another theory. In the coming year, I’ll digest a few more of these parenting hypotheses, come up with a set of strategies and principles, and align with Celine on tactical steps to take to get there.

I will read 2 to 3 more books on parenting techniques.

I will create a set of strategies, goals, principles and priorities for us and Leia to follow.

FAMILY

I will be more present to foster the most harmonious balance where possible.

FRIENDS

I will build on strong social bonds by reaching out, staying in touch, physically or virtually seeing friends, and recognizing special moments.

I will not be non-existent to friends.

I will think about my friends’ ‘jobs to be done’ and try as much as possible not to project my own expectations onto them.

Stretch: hang out with 1 friend per a month and recognize special moments with handwritten cards and gifts.

CAREER

I will continue to think about my career structurally and critically to deliberately plan out my path. I am entering my mid 30s so the next move or two have to be career moves.

I will consistently evaluate my skills and proactively find ways to fill the gaps, either through structured learning (courses), unstructured (books) and/or experience (asking to lead a project).

Stretch: meet at least 2 new people every month who can help me in my career or gives me new ideas; discuss international opportunities with Square

TRAVEL

Find a new travel goal that revolves around cultural exploration. I want to love to travel immensely again and give that gift to Leia.

Go at least one place with Leia on the plane.

Stretch: Take Celine and the baby to San Francisco for a few weeks.

HEALTH

I will find a new workout regime that I am deeply passionate about. It can be cycling or running up and down the street with a box of weights. In any case, I have to love it and stick with it.

I will choose to eat healthy food more often. In particular, this means more fish, chicken, vegetables and legumes, and less red meat, fried foods and dairy products.

I will eat more fruits and drink more water (at least 2L daily).

I will workout at least twice a week.

FINANCE

I will continue shifting the finances on a monthly basis to ensure that Celine and I are tracking towards our retirement goals.

I will spend less money on products and more on experiences.

I will cut back on impromptu purchases.

I will continue saving money for myself, Celine and the baby.

Stretch: plan for investment property.

PERSONAL

I will keep learning what it means to be a husband and father.

I will dedicate time to self-improvement through reading 24 books this year (2 per month) that span a wide range of topics, from non-fiction to fiction.

I will focus on what I can control and push out things that I cannot control. I worry too much so this will help me reduce mental stress.

I will be a better listener and only dish out tough love sparingly.

I will continue documenting my career ambitions and philosophies in my journal at least 2x a month.

I will clean the house once a month. This means wiping the windows, vacuuming and mopping the floors, bleaching the sink, etc.

I will not leave my shoes and jackets everywhere, and will not leave the lights on if I don’t have to.

Stretch: I will read 36 books (3 per month) this year.

FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF 2020

Driving around the city with Celine a week or two before Leia was born. We went for brunch, went shopping, and had some delicious dinner at Pinky’s Ca Phe. It was a simple day but oh so memorable.

The day just before and the day Leia was born. I woke up and Celine “surprised” me by telling me that she thought her water broke (lol?). We rushed to the hospital and the doctor told us to come back at 7pm that night to start the labour process (if it hadn’t started already). We went home, hung out, took a shower, had a quick nap, had pho for a quick dinner and then got ready. It was the beginning of a long night. Then, watching Celine deliver Leia, and holding her in my arms throughout the first night. I was so tired that I was delirious. Maybe that’s why it felt like a dream.

Watching Leia interact with my parents. Leia has taken a liking to them and it fills my heart with warmth and joy. It also feels like I gave my parents one of the best gifts they could ask for - a smart, healthy and happy grandchild.

Hanging out in the basement, which is essentially Leia’s playroom. All of it.

Walking to the beach.

Each and every day that I woke up to my wonderful wife and child. Leia smiles every so widely in the mornings, making cute sounds and greeting me. It’s a shot of caffeine in the morning, even after a possible poor night of sleep filled with Leia making funny noises.

Making trips to Prince Edward County and Bruce County.

Seeing my parents and in-laws after weeks and months of lockdown. Humans are not wired to be alone, and definitely not wired to say no to seeing family or waving to them behind a window.

Hanging out with my boys before Ryan’s wedding and the wedding itself. There was so much love and joy that day.

Doing ‘normal’ things, like going to the mall, eating at a restaurant, playing golf and having out with friends at the park. Seeing friends at the park, even socially distanced, felt amazing.

Seeing a new administration installed at the White House.

Reading the news about the vaccine being discovered, manufactured and now distributed across the world.

[sascerides]

The dangers of glitter - a short tale

I went to a women’s writing lab a couple of nights ago and my friend challenged me to write about glitter. This is the short short story I wrote (in the space of like 30 mins from getting the challenge):

The first rule about glitter is: it cannot be destroyed. Glitter can only be created. It can be acquired and accumulated and amassed. But it can never be gotten rid of.

You know the truth of it if you have ever touched glitter. Just once. It’s a parasite. Weeks later you’re still finding glitter in your bed. In your hair. Inside your ears. It’ll be there forever. And you know it.

You may not think too much about it. It’s only glitter after all. But here’s a cautionary tale. Here’s a little warning: there is such a thing as too much glitter.

There is a limit to how much glitter a person can touch before things change. Before the glitter stops being part of their life and becomes. Well. Their life.

It happened to a friend of mine. Georgia Patterson. After one too many glitter parties in a Berlin nightclub. She woke up with glitter in her hair. Glitter under her fingernails. Glitter stuck on the inside of her bra. I’m sure you’ve been there too.

At first, Georgia thought nothing of it. She continued her morning. She found glitter in her cereal and glitter in her tea. By the time she made it to the shower she realised. Her skin was glittering in the sharp fake light of her bathroom. But Georgia thought “eeeh it’ll wash off” and she got in the shower only to clog her drain with glitter.

Days went by. And glittery Georgia Patterson continued to glitter. When she went outside, children would point and pull on their mother’s sleeves. Georgia herself would blinded by the sun reflecting in the glitter on her nose. It was a bit too much really. And the glitter just. Staid. Glitter cannot be gotten rid of.

Soon, she stopped leaving her flat. Just restlessly pacing on the living room floor. Day in and day out. Leaving a glittering trail in a circle round the room. Just. Glitter. Everywhere.

After a month, Georgia needed a breath of air. She opened the window one day and a sudden gust of wind blew the shutters open and blew her left hand right off in a puff of purple glitter. She ran to close the window, of course, but not before she’d lost a shoulder, part of her nose and no less then seven toes.

And so it continued. Bit by bit. Glittery Georgia Patterson dissolved in puffs of glittery wind. She left a bit of herself in the sofa. A bit in the drain. A bit floated out her window and flew up from her hinterhof.

I guess I don’t need to tell you now. Glitter is dangerous. Not a year had gone by before little puffs of wind had all both dissolved Georgia. And the same could happen to you.

After one too many glitter parties in a Berlin night club. You may just find yourself crumbling away. Turning into glitter. Becoming one with the glitter in your life.

Georgia Patterson would tell you herself. But she couldn’t be here tonight because she’s scattered across the town. Scattered in its streets and alleys.

Next time you see a bit of glitter in the wind. Remember, it might just be her.

I go to these writing sessions for women in Berlin roughly every second week They’re lots of fun and it’s fun challenging my self and trying new things. Here’s another text I wrote at one of these sessions.

[swedishmrose-blog]

“Our people are starving.” Madeleine repeated. Her voice was firm even though the little Queen did not feel as steady as the vibrations from her vocal chords. Her eyes lifted to meet those of her husband’s. He was already a formidable man, experienced despite his youth. She studied his face, as if trying to decipher him. He was a complex puzzle, far more complex than his enemies gave him credit for. He was not simply a man of pure physical exertion. He had an intellectual mind, a hunger and a thirst for knowledge that Madeleine both admired and had come to loathe. He was too intelligent at times, a match for her in every way. Every piece she moved was met with an equally wise motion of his own. It was exhausting and thrilling at the same time. Yet when it came to their people, it was purely irritating. 

She had not been Queen for long, nor had he been King, and yet so much had rested firmly on her shoulders that she felt as though she’d aged ten years in two moons, and had known nothing beyond the crown. “Do you not care for our people, Valdemar?” She asked, her voice openly challenging him despite the presence of other gentlemen of rank, namely his majesty’s dear brother, and the Marshal of the Realm. It did not deter her. She was in the right, and she knew it. His pride be damned. She had not come to Sweden to watch another kingdom of innocent people be cast aside for a greedy monarchy. Before he could answer her, she spoke more, her voice soft and feminine despite the authority that rang in each word. Her confidence had grown immensely, which was ironically Valdemar’s own doing. He’d started to notice her now that she had power in her fingertips. He’d started to listen when she spoke. Yet on this matter they clashed as strongly as he clashed with any other courtier in his court. 

“Our people must eat. I know that your soldiers must also eat, but who supplies your lines, Valdemar? Who is it that replaces soldiers cut down by our enemies? Who maintains the kingdom whilst the soldiers go off to fight? And for what do they fight if we will not care for our own?” She demanded, “There must be a better system of rationing or this winter will destroy us. Your soldiers will fall, and there will only be scrawny children and worried mothers to take their places.” Her words were filled with genuine compassion for the people she’d come to call her own. Slowly, she had begun to see Sweden as home. It was different than Estonia, would always be different than Estonia, but she had been sent to the North to give her people their best chance. Food supplies had come along with the little princess, and Sweden had played it’s part, defending Estonian borders from mutual enemies. 

But she had made a fatal mistake in her compassion. She’d challenged the great King Valdemar, the youthful, prideful, arrogant, King Valdemar in front of his men. In front of his brother. She could feel the weight of their gaze, but more than that, she could feel the weight of his silence. He was thinking, she could see that on his face. And yet his eyes weren’t cold in the way she had anticipated. There was something else there, a spark of interest, perhaps. His voice was low and controlled, something she also hadn’t anticipated. So often she saw him wracked with ire, his voice loud and thunderous through ornate rooms, that to see him calm and deep in thought had her heart racing faster in her chest. She could handle his passionate displays of anger. She could handle his temper. But his quiet anger? His calculated thoughts? She had not yet figured out how to manage such. She swallowed back her nerves, waiting with bated breath for his response. 

When at last he spoke, she allowed herself to breathe as much as could be managed in the tight corset that held her ribs snugly. “We will use your dowry then, to feed the people, and what we have already rationed for the soldiers will remain in transit to the lines.” He answered. Madeleine would have preferred his vocal anger. She would have preferred it if he’d slapped her across the face and told her never to speak to him in such a way again. This was so much worse. His decision was wise, and yet it put her in a situation she had not anticipated. Her dowry was not large enough to supply all their people with the necessary amount of rations. Surely he knew that as well as she did, and by the smug smile that had settled across his brother’s lips, so did his men. It meant she either had to confess to such, and prove herself less valuable in the eyes of Valdemar and the men surrounding him, or it meant agreeing to his decision and having to do something to increase her dowry. It was wisdom and punishment wrapped into a neat package.

The Estonian wanted to be sick. She would not tell him that her dowry was entirely too lacking for such things. And yet, Estonia had sent her to Sweden as a beacon of hope, and to write to her father demanding more would surely place Estonia in a difficult position. Her country had been ravaged by war, by Swedish soldiers for years. Half the North had fallen to Swedish rule before the marriage agreement had been negotiated, and now she was meant to request the Estonian crown give more to Sweden? A quiet anger flowed through Madeleine’s veins as she swallowed her pride down, pushed away thoughts of what was good for Estonia. It didn’t matter anymore. She was not the Queen of Estonia. She was the Queen of Sweden, and the Swedish people needed to eat. 

“An excellent idea, min älskling.” Madeleine responded, forcing herself to keep any hint of anger from entering her voice. She bowed her head, fighting to keep the smile from her lips as well at the sight of his brother’s evident surprise. The Marshal was duly surprised by her decision as well, and saw to it that he would point out the lack of coin filling the coffers if the Queen would not do so herself. “Your majesty, surely we do not--” The Marshal began, but Valdemar silenced him with a single look, his eyes leaving his wife’s at last to meet that of the Marshal. “We will use the Queen’s sizable dowry. We’ve other matters to discuss that are not suitable to gentle ears.” He spoke, his eyes returning to his wife’s. Madeleine understood his subtle dismissal. Her welcome to the room was no longer in place, and yet he did not sound angry. Rather he sounded amused, impressed even. She was no longer the tiny, frightened Estonian princess who danced with ribbons and shrieked at stories of olde. She was growing into her crown at last. 

The parchment below Madeleine’s quill had become her enemy. Writing to her father had brought back her guilt. How could she possibly ask her father for more than he’d already given? He’d done everything to place Madeleine on the Swedish throne, to turn enemy into ally. He’d given a sizable dowry in the first place, albeit not sizable enough to feed Sweden through a winter as harsh as the one it was facing. He pained her deeply to request more from him, but she had no choice. She’d already taken to eating less herself, had endured just as everyone else had. She would not dine in luxury when children died in the snow. 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, hand reaching to wrap around the teacup. It’s warmth was welcome. She exhaled, her breath billowing in clouds despite the fire that was being continuously kept with. The winter was brutal. She wondered if God was punishing them for something, and yet what was their fault? What was their great sin? She pushed thoughts of sin aside, trying desperately to focus on the letter. Elisabet was sitting quietly in a chair nearby, her hands expertly working a needle to close a hole in the fur blankets that Madeleine longed to curl up in. She longed to rest, but there was work to be done. Rest would come once she had finished the letter. A sigh left her lips as she crumpled the parchment once more.

Elisabet’s eyes turned at the crinkling noise. “You might take a rest, majesty.” She spoke softly, with a fair amount of sympathy. Elisabet understood the Queen’s predicament. She was a wise woman, older than Madeleine by several years, and loyal to the position she’d found herself in. Madeleine’s eyes softened as she looked to her but she shook her head. “No, I must send this letter as quickly as possible. There is no sense waiting.” She insisted. Elisabet set the needle and furs aside, a warm smile settling on her lips as she rose from her seated position. She came to stand behind the little Queen, and carefully pulled the brunette curls back, her fingers smoothing over the locks in a soothing motion. “You’ll tire yourself needlessly, majesty. A short rest will clear your mind and allow you to write sensibly. Or perhaps you could share your thoughts with me and I could assist you in formulating them with the quill.” 

The offer was most welcome. Elisabet knew her too well. Madeleine leaned back, closing her eyes as Elisabet brushed through her hair. It was soothing. It reminded her all too much of her own mother. She missed her dearly. The raw ache at her lost was still felt by the Swedish monarch on more than rare occasions. All that she was could be credited to her dear mother. It was the Estonian Queen who had raised her only daughter with dignity and grace, with a sense of compassion, with a mind filled with wisdom. “I simply wish there were a way to benefit our people, without subjecting Estonia to further hardship. It pains me. I feel as though I am betraying her.” She confessed, trusting Elisabet to keep her confidence. 

“Oh Mada,” Elisabet breathed, her motions still meant to be soothing. Madeleine had long since given Elisabet permission to be informal with her when it was just the two of them in her private chambers. “Your heart is too large, my sweet Queen. Do not trouble yourself so. Your father is a wise and good man, he will be understanding.” She reassured. Madeleine knew Elisabet was right. That was what made it hurt more. Her father would not protest, he would not grow angry with her. His love was unconditional, and his patience saintly. He deserved a far better daughter than she. Yet she needed to rely on such now. She shifted, sitting straight once more. Elisabet’s hands fell resting on the back of the chair. “If you would like me to read over the letter when you are finished..?” She offered. Madeleine turned her head, offering a tiny smile. “Of course, you may retire for now. I shall send for you when I am finished.” She promised. 

Once Elisabet had left her chambers, Madeleine turned her focus to the parchment once more. The quill wrote smoothly against it, in Madeleine’s practiced and elegant script. When she was finished she signed her new name, the name afforded her as Queen of Sweden. So many titles had been bestowed upon her. She needed to prove that she deserved them. God had given her a crown for a reason, but she longed for the people to put their faith in her. She would do what it took for the good of Sweden, no matter the personal expense. Was that not the role of a monarch? Did not a monarch sacrifice for the good of the people? 

She did as promised once the letter was finished. Upon receiving Elisabet’s approval, she carefully pressed her seal into the wax. The letter would reach her father in due time. From that moment forward, it was in his hands. She passed the letter over to Elisabet before rising from her chair. Her bedclothes were already on, and she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in the furs that had been mended. She stilled at the sound of the door opening, watching as Elisabet dropped into a curtsy. Her eyes fell to the only one who could come to her chambers at such an hour. She lowered herself as well for a moment before straightening once more. Elisabet quietly dismissed herself, leaving Madeleine alone with her husband.

“I’ve finished penning the letter, my love. The increase in my dowry shall arrive soon.” She promised. She couldn’t keep the pain from her voice completely, and she knew he noticed. He closed the distance between them, and her breath hitched just so. His hand moved to sweep the brown curls from her shoulder as the other settled against her hip. “Good.” The single word was the only answer she’d get from him. She did not protest as he guided her to the furs she’d longed to curl up in. 

As promised, the increase in her dowry had arrived swiftly after her letter had reached the Estonian King. Madeleine stood now, dressed in her finest outwear. Even so, she was still frozen to the bone. She did not complain for a moment as she reached for another sack. She did not need to personally give food to the people--there were many ways to see that they were fed, but Madeleine wanted to. It was in service to her people, service to God. It was no different in her eyes than giving alms to the poor. She passed the sack to the kindly woman who smiled to her. She could see years of work marring what could have been a beautiful face. It was her words that caught Madeleine off guard, however.

“May God bless you, Queen Madeleine!” The woman’s voice was filled with joy, with relief. Hope swelled in the Estonian’s heart. This was what would make it all worth it. Her father was wise, he would find a way to make sure his people did not suffer for the aid he’d given to Sweden. And she could delight in the comfort she was giving the people who bowed to her. The Queen smiled warmly, “And may his merciful love cloak you in warmth.” She responded before the woman could leave. Similar sentiments filled her ears and passed her lips as she offered food to those who needed it desperately. She would not cross all of Sweden to provide such food of course, but those near Tre Kronor would see their little Queen in person. They would see her compassion. And if she could help it, they would see it genuine as well. 

Madeleine was exhausted by time she took her leave, walking with Elisabet and her ladies close behind. “Excellency,” Madeleine began. “See to it that tea is given to each lady, and spettekaka.” She ordered, her voice filling with the joy she felt at seeing hope restored in little ways. Was that not what they should hold on to? The Swedish people were resilient. They had endured far worse and would continue to endure. It was in the very stones of Tre Kronor. The castle beat with a pulse, steady and strong. The winter was their salvation as much as it was their destruction. It was something she had come to love about her new home: the strength of the people forged in ice. There was none like her people. They were filled with a stubbornness to live that outlasted the harshest of winters and would continue to. Her people grasped to the single bud growing through the white. They held to the first sound of birds chirping. She was filled with the same hope that they felt from offering them what little she could. They deserved more, truly they did. Yet if she could offer them a tiny sliver of hope, then she would be grateful. 

She took her place in the women’s room, watching the steam of tea dance through the room as the hum of women’s voices filled her ears. She felt her shoulders relax. She had endured. She would continue to do so. Her people deserved a Queen focused on them. It was what pushed back thoughts of betrayal. She could not think of Estonia. She was not Estonian any longer. She was the shining light in the Swedish court. She was the soft voice, the sweet melody. She had to be. She had to contrast her husband’s harshness. She had to soothe wounds that he’d caused, and quiet dissent before it came after everything she loved and held dear. She had to be the quiet strength, hidden in plain sight. Valdemar could rage. He could make demands. He could show his power with strength and brute force. But Madeleine? She was proving herself valuable in other ways. The Little Queen’s eyes turned toward Malvina, a smile on her lips. “Tell us again, Lady Malvina, the story of the Viking Queen.” She insisted. It was a favorite, a tale of endurance in a similarly harsh year. The babble quieted as eyes turned to her lady-in-waiting. Malvina was an excellent storyteller, an entertainer in every fashion, and Madeleine appreciated that. The room was entranced by her within moments, allowing the Queen reprieve to her own private thoughts. 

She wasn’t surprised to hear the door open again. Madeleine stood by the window, her eyes looking down to the courtyard. She loved the layout of Tre Kronor, from her private chambers she could see far and wide. The mountains were beautiful, the frozen lakes seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. It was breathtaking, haunting even. But her thoughts were much farther away, in a little country nestled in fields of purple flowers. She did not turn to greet him as he crossed the room. She did not turn to greet him when his hand settled against her waist. He lowered his mouth to her ear, his breath warm, tickling her skin. “I have made you a Queen in their eyes.” He murmured. Despite her best attempts, he knew. He knew she was troubled. He knew she was torn. His words were enough to finally force her to look.

“And what about you, Valdemar? Am I a Queen in your eyes?” She asked, ignoring the redness of her own. She ignored how they had grown wet. She had endured her guilt, had prayed endlessly, and yet she needed it to be worth it. Her people were fed. They sang her praises in the street. Yet she found herself longing for Valdemar’s approval just as much. It was him she had challenged in the first place. It was him who had kept himself at arm’s length in so many ways. She watched him, waiting for his answer, dreading that it would not come. She caught the tiniest rise of his lips, and it made her soften. He lowered his mouth to hers, silencing her with his lips. She returned the kiss. It had, then. Or it had at least started to. 

She would be the good Queen. She would be at his side. Together they would build a dynasty. But if she could help it, she’d never again subject Estonia to pain for the benefit of Sweden. She had wrapped herself in the viking songs. She had crowned herself in winter roses. She had donned Scandinavian furs. But she would always be Estonian. She would always love the walls around Tallinn. A part of her would always be stuck in a field of purple wildflowers. 

[alyssajames400-blog]

How To Write A Resume - Overcome The Biggest Problem Nearly Everyone Has

Some teens experience the rebelling from all of authority. This can be a very scary time for both the teen and the parent(s).  There are no guarantees in your life or how teens can get with the challenging times, but worry only enhances the problem. The following provides a perspective to calm the worry and open doors to an alternative perspective to your teen's extreme rebellion. If I were to tell you just how one can learn release a yourself from stress, increase your wellness, raise your emotional intelligence, make better decisions and become happier and more successful by simply sitting on the sofa and watching your breath for a couple of minutes daily, will you be persuaded? Probably not. If you think about this, that's strange because you probably do lay on your butt for most of the day and you also never stop breathing. So what is the problem?

Now, achievable female client, as she grew older and started children, she became extremely busy maintaining her kids and husband together with looking after the household chores. She had turned into a very loving and caring mom but always putting family members and everyone else first. She forgot to take care of herself, and she did start to put on pounds and the entire body fat. Now, ok the problem of helping others, you can do so in several forms, limited only from your imagination. Be searching while out and about performing all of your daily routine. If you see someone that might require help in the path, offer first, and take it from there. You could also be a little more discreet, making a donation to some charity of your choice. Alternatively, merely a note to state thanks to your colleague for assisting you out. I think you get the idea. By being proactive of this type, frequently, you will notice that you are going to be ok with yourself, along with discover that situations will manage to exercise healthier. This is based on a combination of your state of mind, as well as the attraction principle. Choose a time each day along with a space in places you and your child could be quiet and alone not less than 10 mins. You can begin with a shorter timeframe as required or if your youngster is incredibly young. Closing the eyes, instruct yourself as well as your child in relaxing each portion in the body..."arms relaxed.... hands relaxed.... fingers relaxed.... chest relaxed.... tummy relaxed.... thighs relaxed... breathing relaxed..." and the like. Relax means permit go of release any muscle contraction. Experiment with contracting the muscles and then releasing the contraction with your youngster so your kids truly understands this is with the word relax. Make sure to include the tiny muscles of the face and in many cases the scalp when relaxing. As your child grows older along with continued practice, you might not even have to verbally glance at the sequence because the relaxation can be second nature to you both. There are many benefits to using restorative relaxation each day. These include a strengthened body's defence mechanism, a chance to better handle and control emotions, more focus and concentration, feelings of happiness and calm that linger during the day, sleeping better, decreases tension and blood pressure levels, increases endorphins (the feeling good hormone), reduces frustration, increases productivity, increasing feelings of self confidence and more! Relaxation is paramount to health insurance well-being. If you're like lots of people in western culture, you've been taught that jealousy is a a dangerous thing. You may have even been told that experiencing jealousy means you're a bad or ungrateful person, or that being jealous makes you weak or less spiritual. For most of us, whenever we experience jealousy, we try to get rid of it or prevent it from ever springing up. Given that jealousy is a natural emotion, this is often a pretty doomed effort. For many years the typical means of shedding pounds have included diets of all shapes, colours, and flavour, diet pills, extreme exercise routines, and also surgery. The facts, however, reveal that though these methods work in the short-term, inside long-term most of the lost weight returns and often with increased. This is no way to reside in. It is demotivational and unhealthy. You end up asking yourself why you bothered within the first place. I really disliked these ugly areas of my body. I didn't wish to look like my mother, I already didn't want it on her. But it was okay on her to check that way because she was so much older. And now I looked exactly the same? No way! That was a good problem in my opinion. I really didn't want to be checked out, it am embarrassing. The unemployment rate in the United States is currently 9.8 percent and possesses been 9.6 percent or maybe more for more than a year. When you include people who discouraged no longer looking, the rate is much higher. For example, in California it's 22 percent. However, using a significantly larger pool of men and women offered to volunteer than in normal times, the volunteer rate has actually declined. Yet work of any kind, whether for a salary or as being a volunteer, enhances feelings of self-worth and strengthens self-esteem. There are two major reasons for self-esteem: First, the ability that you will be loved when you do you think you're with the ones who matter, those who brought you into our planet and continue to feel special you're here. That's basic. Second, accomplishing something meaningful and receiving recognition for this from others as well as appreciating it oneself. That seamless comfort! But it can't be a giveaway. If it's too easy it does not give rise to self-esteem. It leads to mediocrity.

[babajimindscope2018]

Mindscope

SolutionsNo Predictions, Only Solutions!

MindScope is a great gift of Mahavatar Babaji to Dr. N Rajgopal. The Deeksha, Babaji bestowed upon Dr. N Rajgopal on 28th April 1991, has brought a revolutionary transformation in the form of an extra sensory knowing like a THIRD EYE leading to MindScope, which helped to solve many problems of several individuals. Ever since the divine Deeksha Dr. N Rajgopal never fell ill due to any major setback on his health and never underwent any sort of surgery till date. People coming to him for various issues like Consultation, Treatment, Counselling, Case Analysis, Gemstone selection, Remedies etc. were on the rise. He came to know of the secrets of several Remedies for any complicated problems of life through MindScope revelations as they would start appearing before him with certain divine hints. It became possible for him to touch the photograph of the concerned person and get answers for any intrinsic or complex queries. He was also able to visualise and subsequently conceive several of Yantras, select Gemstone, or Yantras rendered by his holiness the Sri Adi Sankara in the Saundarya-Lahari or the Yantras conceived through revelations by clairvoyance, holy tantric Gurus, Saints and Spiritual Masters. He has been blessed with the unique quality of precisely selecting the right and suitable remedy for a native and solving each of their unique problems. The first lesson he learnt was that every individual is unique on this Universe. Each one arrives and departs at the specific appointed day, at that particular chosen time, when the celestial rays are in mathematical harmony with their individual Karma. It is, therefore, amply clear that a true horoscope relates the planets, houses, and minute divisions of the signs in order to show the strength and potential of the planets or otherwise, for that particular native. The secret here is that, in between the birth and the death, the native is given a choice. The person can play a major role to turn the history behind him/her or re-write the future himself/ herself or for the entire society on this earth. Or the person can live an insignificant life by doing nothing specifically even for himself or herself; leave alone the society. The result is decided by the choice of Coin he or she chooses between the “fate” and the “free-will”.

In this context, the horoscope is a challenging portrait, revealing the native’s unalterable past and its probable future results. The horoscope can be rightly interpreted only by a few men of intuitive wisdom. It is here that the intuitive knowledge gifted to Dr. N Rajgopal by Mahavatar Babaji, known as MindScope, helps him in precisely knowing the correct planetary afflictions or deficiency etc., of a native without the horoscope. As is done in many cases, the horoscope is not meant to emphasize fate – the result of past good and evil- but to arouse man’s will to escape from his universal thraldom or bondage. What he has done, he can undo. None other than he himself was the instigator of the causes of whatever effects are now prevalent in his life. He can overcome any limitation through a “free-will” because, he created it by his own actions in the first place, and because he possesses spiritual resources that are not subject to planetary pressure. But where to find a good astrologer who would lead the already troubled person away from the maze of cumbersome Astrological calculations and jargon used commonly by the soothsayers in the presence of any client, who is impatient and wants only the result in a jiffy. In many cases, the disturbed and restless client does not understand all the astrological technicalities, but wants to get over the ticklish issue he got in, or he wants to be given only a green signal / guidance for important crucial decisions regarding some investment, business, marriage or the like. Sometimes he wants the solution and remedy to work even before he leaves the Astrologer’s chamber.

The MindScope is a time tested method having produced hundred and thousands of success results for the natives who approached Dr. N Rajgopal. Every MindScope solution conceived by Dr. N Rajgopal, with the grace and guidance of SadGuru Mahavatar Babaji, produces success for the concerned native, Thus based on the photograph of the concerned person, MindScope detects certain hidden secrets of afflictions affecting the journey of the person, which are specific to that person. Dr. N Rajgopal is able to mark such afflictions and conceive suitable remedies through innumerable spiritual articles and methods. With this method, several people have been benefited over the years. Thus, Dr. N Rajgopal or MindScope command a success rate of almost 100% with all the clients being happy in one way or the other. All MindScope Specific Solutions can be suggested and informed only after the case is fully analysed and the native’s report is furnished. The remedial charges will be extra and is not included in the consultation fees. In case you do not want any report and are interested in straight Solution, please avoid consultation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2AcjVb9TGc

In this Episode, we can understand that how Mahavatar Babaji never lets down anyone who trust him. In fact, he graces all those who are very sincere to the nature, irrespective of whether one trust him or not. Trusting Mahavatar Babaji happens automatically as he is the nature, he is the trust, he is belief, he is he and he is in you. He is the cause and he is the effect. All comes from him and all surrenders to him. The power the Himalayan Master wields is in and around you. The Master SadGuru is so awakened that he understands the pain in each cell of his children and takes out the pain before it hurts them. The need is you to be his disciple and enjoy all his gracefulness. More details https://babajisannidhan.com/about-min... https://babajisannidhan.com/mindscope... https://babajisannidhan.com/about-bab...

[wilwarind]

Min Yoongi as a father

The blog was originally posted at 7th of May, in 2017.

“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”

Being an idol is a tough job, and being a parent is even more of a challenge. In the future, the boys will become parents, and they will have endless amounts of wisdom, laughs and touching memories that will sure to make their life even happier and enjoyable.

I’d like to personally write – without any interpretations – about Min Yoongi’s future life as a parent. Please consider the following lines are just the way I imagine the alternative future behaviour of him based on his personality traits.

But as a start, I think we can surely agree, in fact, parenthood will induce a large scale of emotions inside Min Yoongi.

If his child was a boy he would probably…

The boy-father relationship is as important as the tie between the little child and his mother. In my point of view, boys are identifying themselves with their dad. The father always shows gentle power which can be admired by the little boys.

He would be aware of the fact that he is the role model of his little boy.

He would act the way as he wants from his boy to behave. He probably does not want to be a bad example.

Respect the boy’s mother.

Since he would show adoration towards his wife, the boy would honor her as well. And if the boy loves his mother, then he will also look up to his future wife and will have a wonderful relationship too.

He would be not just his friend but his father.

He would support as a friend but also protect, defend his boy and give advices, encouragement and use his past as the source of his knowledge.

Appreciate the time he could spend with his boy.

In my point of view, he knows the importance of the time they can spend together. He’d use to the full that time: tell bedtime stories to the little boy, play together or go for a trip.

Teach him how to defend himself with words.

And also teach self-discipline. He’d tell him what the difference between honesty and rudeness is.

If his child was a girl he would probably…

A girl is a whole different world. The unique relationship between father and daughter has a big influence on the daughter’s life. To the little girl, the father means the love , safety and concern.

Listen to his daughter.

He’d focus to the significant points: his daughter’s thoughts, fears and dreams instead of her outward appearance. He’d understand how his little girl sees herself and accept her just the way she is, in her own sincere and truthful self. With this, Yoongi would give her confidence and self-esteem. Maybe he would tease her sometimes but in a sweet and lovely way and never hurt her feelings.

Support her strong personal attributes and natural virtue.

He would help her to recognize and at the same time, to cross over her hardships. They would develop the girl’s strengths together and he’d help to reach her aims and dreams. He would not leave out of consideration his precious lady. The girl will obtain his attention and with this true respect she will never feel that she have to prove anything to her dad in any section of her life. It would be an unconventional and true love.

Respect her personality and individuality.

I suppose he would try to make it clear that she should love herself, even if it comes to her body or her any other attributes. He would tell her, that he loves her just the way she is with all of her possible weaknesses. Since Yoongi’s mind is possessed by success (as he stated once), he would say: “Try to look at your weakness and convert it into your strength. You are strong when you know your weaknesses”.

They would spend so much time together.

They’d even do sports together. It would be all the same, what kind of sport they choose, they would exercise with hands in hands. He’d show her, how strong, staminal and persistent she can be and she is as worthwhile as a boy.

Make the life more acceptable to her daughter.

He would be conscious of how many dangers exist in this world, so probably he would try to protect her, but not in an over-anxious way. He would not be an overprotective father, because it can be easily turn out to be the sign of mistrust.

But either way…

He would tell them that he is not perfect.

His children will see him as a hero, but he will probably explain them that he can make mistakes too. He will ask for apologize for his flaws but with this he will become bigger in his children’s eyes. They will learn that it is human to make mistakes, but they will have to face up to the consequences.

He’d happily be involved in his child’s interests.

He’d allow his child to has big dreams and encourage him/her to achieve it. His kid will “stay innocent and be naïve. But still dream big”.

He’d teach the child how to say no.

Of course the child will use this against him, but at least he will be joyful, that his child is able to reject if it is necessary.

He will not forget his child’s birthday.

I am sure he knows, the child will not remember the presents ten years later but will remain in his/her memory if he ever misses one.

As a last thought, I am completely sure he will love his children more than he has ever loved himself.

Do you ever think about what kind of parents will BTS’ members be in the future? Please let me know what your thoughts are.

I do not own any of the pictures. All rights belong to their respective owners.

[khhunniewriting]

Rap Daddy (10)

Episode 10: Rap Anonymous

A while had passed as Mino, Bobby, and Yongguk talked among themselves waiting for Namjoon to arrive for the recording. The kids were off playing around knowing they had time to do as they wish. Recording always started after everyone arrived. 

“Ji-Young” Mino called out to the fashionable young boy. He motioned for him to come quickly. Ji-Young ran over leaving his father behind.

Mino opened the studio door letting Ji-Young in.

When Ji-Young entered he saw the others standing around a table.

He went over to the twins who were hunched over as they wrote on a piece of paper. “Hyung, what’s going on?”

Yong-Min stopped his writing to explain to give Ji-Young a similar paper and pencil. “We have to write a verse about yourself. The dads have to guess which one belongs to who so you have to make it a bit hard to guess.”

Understanding the task Ji-Young began to work on his own piece.

Yong-Jin, on the other hand, was struggling to help Mona. “Just use the word ‘I’ and try using a less rhythmic style.” 

She sighed as she struggled to hide her identity in the writing. 

“Hyung how is this?” King was also finding it hard to hide his identity. He always used himself or his father in his verses. Anonymity was a new concept to him.

“King and Mona seemed to be struggling today.” The producer interviewed Yong-Jin about his helping role.

Yong-Jin nodded, “King kept talking about himself in a way only he would. It was obvious. He needed to be more...” he trailed off searching for the word.

“Humble” the producer offered.

“Yeah” Yong-Jin nodded. 

Outside Bobby and the other father’s were given insight into why they were being kept outside. “Today will be another game where you will be going against your children.”

The rap daddies were visibly discouraged as they heard the producer. 

She noticed their heads lowering and a few sighs here and there. “Last time it was a physical challenge. Now we will be challenging your fatherly intuition.”

“We’re all father’s so we should be able to do this right?” Bobby pumped up the atmosphere.

The producer was handed some note cards with the show’s logo. “We asked your wives the same question pertaining to your children. In order for you to earn a chance card for the next challenge, you must all answer correctly.”

One of the staff members passed out white boards and dry erase markers to them so they could answer the questions. 

“Question one...”

They opened their markers ready to write down their answers.

“What was your child’s first word? You have five seconds. 5...4...3...2...1.”

After time was called they all turned their boards towards the camera revealing their answers. 

Mino: My

Namjoon: Daddy

Bobby: Mommy

Yongguk: Mommy & Water

The producer laughed as she looked down at her note card that had the answers. “Correct.”

They all cheered feeling glad they were able to pass. The laughing erupted as they saw the answers. Most were predictable.

“Of course Mona said Daddy first, she’s a Daddy’s girl” Namjoon commented on his daughter’s first word.

“I can picture King as a baby just saying everything was his” Bobby commented. Despite being friends with Mino he never knew what King’s first words were.

The answer that really got them laughing was Yongguk’s. “Seriously hyung? Who said water before anything else?”

Yongguk’s gummy smile appeared as he remembered the moment. “Yong-Min, he was a very thirsty child. After he learned the word he kept repeating and asked for water so much we didn’t know if he was really thirsty or not.

The producer handed them a chance card for them to hold onto until they wanted to use it. “Next question, if it weren’t for rap what would your child want to be when they grow up?”

Some of them began writing their answers immediately while some were left scratching their heads. Namjoon was especially clueless and stood out from the group when they revealed their answers.

Mino: King of the world

Namjoon: ?

Bobby: Model

Yongguk: Video game designer

“Really,” Mino asked in shock when he saw the question mark on Namjoon’s board. 

Namjoon sighed feeling displeased with himself as well. “I don’t know, she always told me she wanted to rap. I don’t know what else there is.”

“It was a trick question” the producer informed him. “Mona has always said she wants to be a rapper.”

“Makes sense” Bobby commented, “because her mom and dad are both rappers she always wanted to do the same.”

“What about you hyung? There’s only one answer” Mino pointed at Yongguk’s board.

“It’s the same for both. Their only other hobby besides rapping and dancing is playing video games.” 

“You failed to earn a chance this round but there is one more question. What is your child’s biggest fear?” The producer counted down the five seconds then asked for their answers to be shown.

Mino: ocean

Namjoon: Insects

Bobby: heights

Yongguk: heights

“Correct” the producer gave them another chance card.

They had a short celebration before addressing their answers. “The twins are both afraid of heights too?” Bobby asked Youngguk who had but the same fear as he did.

Yongguk nodded, “they have never been on a plane before because the idea itself makes them scared.”

Bobby understood the struggle. “Ji-Young has never seen me perform in other countries because he is too afraid of being in the air. He won’t get on amusement park rides that are high either.”

“They have very common fears” Namjoon stated. “Being afraid of open bodies of water and heights are normal for anyone. Mona is the only strange one.”

“I think there are a lot of people who are afraid of insects” Yongguk defended.

Namjoon nodded in agreement. “Yes, but what I find strange about her is that she’s afraid of insects but thinks spiders, snakes, and komodo dragons are cute.”

“Really” Yongguk gasped along with the others.

“I took her to a reptile sanctuary thinking it was a bad idea because she would be scared but by the time we were leaving she looked up to me with wide eyes and asked... Daddy can I have a pet snake?”

The producer gave a small yelp as she herself was afraid of snakes.

Namjoon laughed, “my wife said the same thing.”

When the rap daddies were allowed into the studio they were surprised to see their children behind a transparent wall. They were placed in a soundproof room where they wouldn’t be able to hear them.

The kids, however, would be able to hear their fathers' thanks to the headphones they were wearing. They laughed having a good time in the box.

“The kids have all written a verse that hints at their identity.” The producer showed the first verse as it was projected on a screen in front of them. 

I’m a puzzle with no answers. I adapt to my situation, causing devastation to the standards. Good boy, with good manners. On my way to the top and becoming a young master.

The staff had typed up the verses that the kids had handwritten. “You earned two chances from before. You can use them to see the original handwritten verse or pick one of the kids to say the verse.”

That is when Yong-Jin who was holding their only microphone spoke into it. “Try to not use the chances.”

“I’m sure we can do it without the chances.” Bobby had a good feeling that the first verse they were seeing was his son’s. Although Ji-Young settled on his rap name being Young Boss he had often used the term young master to describe himself as well. “This one is Ji-Young’s” he told the others who were still analyzing the verse.

Mino nodded agreeing it could be Ji-Young’s because of the second line. “Adapting is what freestyle rappers do. Ji-Young likes to freestyle so this one could be his.”

Yongguk had been voted to give the final answer for them and decided to go with Bobby’s fatherly instinct. “Number one Kim Ji-Young, final answer.”

Ji-Young was handed the microphone and began rapping his verse. A sign that they had guessed correctly.

“I think I shouldn’t have added the last line” Ji-Young commented on how easy it was for his father to guess.

“Correct” the producer stated to them in order to make it clear. “Now, here is the second one.”

I’m the only one... I will reach a whole other level of fame. So many false claims of blame to my sweet face I must contain. Rapping is a war game, and strategy’s my middle name.

As they read the verse there were many interpretations. 

“I’m the only one could refer to Mona being the only girl” Mino suggested.

“Or it could men only child,” Bobby said as he looked through the rest of the verse.

“It is Mona” he looked over at his daughter who was instantly blocked by Ji-Young and King. They knew Mona would give it away if she smiled at him. “Mona likes to plan her verses that’s why she has her notebooks. It’s like a strategy. This is Mona’s.”

Yongguk nodded, “number two, Kim Mona.”

Mona smiled as she took the microphone and began to rap her verse.

“Maybe it was too easy or maybe Daddy knows me really well.” She giggled showing she didn’t care if it was hard or easy.

The third verse was then brought up on the screen. This one was longer and the composition was different.

Double the money and double the fame. Can’t nobody get in my way. Straight shot to the top. My flow will never stop. Too busy to take a breath My rhymes will send you to your death.

“Double, it has to be one of the twins” Namjoon suggested. As they read it they decided it could be either one of them. 

Yongguk looked into the details but even then he was having a hard time. The reference to taking a breath could go two ways. It could hint at Yong-Jin who knows how to control his breath and that is why he is too busy to take a breath. Or, on the other hand, it could be Yong-Min explaining how he was too busy to learn how to breathe properly when rapping. “I think we need to use one of the chances.”

After explaining his reasoning they agreed to use a chance. Yongguk handed the card to the producer. “I want to see the handwriting.”

The producer projected a scan of the original writing on the screen.

Although this may not be of use to any of the other rap daddies it was to Yongguk. He clapped his hands in excitement. “Number three Bang Yong-Jin final answer.”

After hearing Yong-Jin start the rap the others wanted to know how he knew from the writing.

Yongguk pointed at the words ‘in’ and ‘straight’. “The letter ‘i’ isn’t dotted. Yong-Jin doesn’t dot them.”

“I knew he would guess correctly with the writing.”

“Why don’t you dot your ‘i’s?”

Yong-Jin shrugged “I just feel it’s not necessary.”

To keep from one being automatically guessed by being the last one the producer showed the last two verses side by side.

“With the last two, you must determine their author at the same time.”

Gift sent from above. I’m a rap god like no other, unflawed. My speed, outlawed. My rhymes, applaud. My swag above par.

This is a test, to show I am the best. My name and growing fame are just insane. Your rap is so lame, like a king lion with no mane. My presence alone outweighs the rest.

After reading both verses it was pretty clear who the owners were. 

“Number 4 Bang Yong- Min and number 5 Song King.” 

After guessing them all correctly the kids were let out of the box. Yong-Min and King rapped their verse before joining the rest of the group.

“Maybe we all did it too easy” King laughed, “it’s hard to stop writing versus the way we like.”

“The father’s win this round of Kids vs. Dads.” The rap daddies began celebrating their victory by giving high five’s to each other. After official filming of the episode, the staff treated the cast to dinner.

They all went to a restaurant and were filmed eating together like before. The camera focused on one person in particular as the lights were turned off. 

“Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...” a cake with eight candles lit up the room as everyone sang.

“Happy Birthday dear Mona...” 

Mona smiled, happy to have everyone singing happy birthday to her. As the song ended she blew out the candles and made her wish.

She received hugs and presents from the other kids who all had been told about her birthday in advance. Mona was the only one who didn’t know they would do that for her. 

“Mona really loves being on Rap Daddy. When I found out her birthday was on the same day as filming I asked her if she wanted to stay home instead so we can celebrate with her Mom. She refused and said she wanted to go have fun with the oppas and uncles.” 

At the end of the episode a video message from Mona was played:

“Hello I am the Rap Doll Kim Mona. I turned 8 today. Thank you to the oppas, uncles, and everyone from Rap Daddy. I love you all.”

-end-

A/N: For those of you wondering who that cute little girl is... her name is Louie Tucker. She is a British/Korean kid’s model usually for brands like Lipop and Benebene.

[inloveandwords]

The Buzzword Readathon starts on Monday and I’m SO ready.

OK, maybe not SO ready, but kind of ready and also nervous because I have a lot of physical books on my list and only one audio. Finding time to sit down and read a physical book is always a challenge for me, but that’s the whole point right?

If you’d rather watch this TBR and rec, check out my video here:

Otherwise, keep reading!

Buzzword Readathon TBR

The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

Every year, the people of the Protectorate leave a baby as an offering to the witch who lives in the forest. They hope this sacrifice will keep her from terrorizing their town. But the witch in the forest, Xan, is kind and gentle. She shares her home with a wise Swamp Monster named Glerk and a Perfectly Tiny Dragon, Fyrian. Xan rescues the abandoned children and deliver them to welcoming families on the other side of the forest, nourishing the babies with starlight on the journey.

One year, Xan accidentally feeds a baby moonlight instead of starlight, filling the ordinary child with extraordinary magic. Xan decides she must raise this enmagicked girl, whom she calls Luna, as her own. To keep young Luna safe from her own unwieldy power, Xan locks her magic deep inside her. When Luna approaches her thirteenth birthday, her magic begins to emerge on schedule–but Xan is far away. Meanwhile, a young man from the Protectorate is determined to free his people by killing the witch. Soon, it is up to Luna to protect those who have protected her–even if it means the end of the loving, safe world she’s always known.

What if it’s Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

Arthur is only in New York for the summer, but if Broadway has taught him anything, it’s that the universe can deliver a showstopping romance when you least expect it.

Ben thinks the universe needs to mind its business. If the universe had his back, he wouldn’t be on his way to the post office carrying a box of his ex-boyfriend’s things.

But when Arthur and Ben meet-cute at the post office, what exactly does the universe have in store for them?

Maybe nothing. After all, they get separated.

Maybe everything. After all, they get reunited.

But what if they can’t quite nail a first date . . . or a second first date . . . or a third?

What if Arthur tries too hard to make it work . . . and Ben doesn’t try hard enough?

What if life really isn’t like a Broadway play?

But what if it is?

Anywhere but Here by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

Seven years ago, I left Conway, South Carolina swearing I would never go back. I put that town in my rearview and didn’t stop until there were several hundred miles between me and the memories I wanted to leave behind. But you can’t outrun your own heart. The past always comes back, and it didn’t matter how far I went, I couldn’t erase the mark he left. I’d never met anyone like Kellen Nash before. He made me feel so . . . alive. Until I made the mistake of falling in love with him. I spent seven years trying to forget only to be forced to come face to face with him again. I wasn’t prepared for old wounds to be reopened or for him to still have this effect on me. He nearly broke me once. I won’t give him the chance to do it again, even if he does still look at me like he can see everything I keep hidden inside. There’s too much history between us, like the North and the South, to forgive and forget so easily, but the longer I’m back, the more I start to question what really happened then, and the more I worry about what will happen if he discovers my biggest secret.

At seventeen she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and not at all what I expected. A girl like her didn’t belong with a guy like me, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her, or breaking her heart. I never thought I’d see her again, but she’s back. Only she isn’t the girl I knew. In her place is an angry spitfire even more gorgeous than I remember, and she’s determined to take all that anger out on me. I’ve spent seven years missing her, living with the regret of letting her go, and when I start to catch glimpses of the girl I loved, I realize it’s never too late. Or is it?

When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon

Dimple Shah has it all figured out. With graduation behind her, she’s more than ready for a break from her family, from Mamma’s inexplicable obsession with her finding the “Ideal Indian Husband.” Ugh. Dimple knows they must respect her principles on some level, though. If they truly believed she needed a husband right now, they wouldn’t have paid for her to attend a summer program for aspiring web developers…right?

Rishi Patel is a hopeless romantic. So when his parents tell him that his future wife will be attending the same summer program as him—wherein he’ll have to woo her—he’s totally on board. Because as silly as it sounds to most people in his life, Rishi wants to be arranged, believes in the power of tradition, stability, and being a part of something much bigger than himself.

The Shahs and Patels didn’t mean to start turning the wheels on this “suggested arrangement” so early in their children’s lives, but when they noticed them both gravitate toward the same summer program, they figured, Why not?

Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways.

Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler

Min Green and Ed Slaterton are breaking up, so Min is writing Ed a letter and giving him a box. Inside the box is why they broke up. Two bottle caps, a movie ticket, a folded note, a box of matches, a protractor, books, a toy truck, a pair of ugly earrings, a comb from a motel room, and every other item collected over the course of a giddy, intimate, heartbreaking relationship. Item after item is illustrated and accounted for, and then the box, like a girlfriend, will be dumped.

Roar by Stacy Sims

Women are not small men. Stop eating and training like one.

Because most nutrition products and training plans are designed for men, it’s no wonder that so many female athletes struggle to reach their full potential. ROAR is a comprehensive, physiology-based nutrition and training guide specifically designed for active women. This book teaches you everything you need to know to adapt your nutrition, hydration, and training to your unique physiology so you can work with, rather than against, your female physiology. Exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist Stacy T. Sims, PhD, shows you how to be your own biohacker to achieve optimum athletic performance.

Complete with goal-specific meal plans and nutrient-packed recipes to optimize body composition, ROAR contains personalized nutrition advice for all stages of training and recovery. Customizable meal plans and strengthening exercises come together in a comprehensive plan to build a rock-solid fitness foundation as you build lean muscle where you need it most, strengthen bone, and boost power and endurance. Because women’s physiology changes over time, entire chapters are devoted to staying strong and active through pregnancy and menopause. No matter what your sport is—running, cycling, field sports, triathlons—this book will empower you with the nutrition and fitness knowledge you need to be in the healthiest, fittest, strongest shape of your life.

♥ ♥ ♥

Buzzword Readathon Recs from my Bookshelf

Hideous Love by Stephanie Hemphill

An all-consuming love affair.

A family torn apart by scandal.

A young author on the brink of greatness.

Hideous Love is the fascinating story of Gothic novelist Mary Shelley, who as a teen girl fled her restrictive home only to find herself in the shadow of a brilliant but moody boyfriend, famed poet Percy Shelley. It is the story of the mastermind behind one of the most iconic figures in all of literature: a monster constructed out of dead bodies and brought to life by the tragic Dr. Frankenstein.

Mary wrote Frankenstein at the age of nineteen, but inspiration for the monster came from her life-the atmospheric European settings she visited, the dramas swirling around her, and the stimulating philosophical discussions with the greatest minds of the period, like her close friend, Lord Byron.

This luminous verse novel from award-winning author Stephanie Hemphill reveals how Mary Shelley became one of the most celebrated authors in history.

What I Thought Was True by Huntley Fitzpatrick

Gwen Castle has never so badly wanted to say good-bye to her island home till now: the summer her Biggest Mistake Ever, Cassidy Somers, takes a job there as the local yard boy. He’s a rich kid from across the bridge in Stony Bay, and she hails from a family of fishermen and housecleaners who keep the island’s summer people happy. Gwen worries a life of cleaning houses will be her fate too, but just when it looks like she’ll never escape her past—or the island—Gwen’s dad gives her some shocking advice. Sparks fly and secret histories unspool as Gwen spends a gorgeous, restless summer struggling to resolve what she thought was true—about the place she lives, the people she loves, and even herself—with what really is.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Everyone in Shaker Heights was talking about it that summer: how Isabelle, the last of the Richardson children, had finally gone around the bend and burned the house down.

In Shaker Heights, a placid, progressive suburb of Cleveland, everything is meticulously planned – from the layout of the winding roads, to the colours of the houses, to the successful lives its residents will go on to lead. And no one embodies this spirit more than Elena Richardson, whose guiding principle is playing by the rules.

Enter Mia Warren – an enigmatic artist and single mother – who arrives in this idyllic bubble with her teenage daughter Pearl, and rents a house from the Richardsons. Soon Mia and Pearl become more than just tenants: all four Richardson children are drawn to the alluring mother-daughter pair. But Mia carries with her a mysterious past, and a disregard for the rules that threatens to upend this carefully ordered community.

When the Richardsons’ friends attempt to adopt a Chinese-American baby, a custody battle erupts that dramatically divides the town and puts Mia and Mrs. Richardson on opposing sides. Suspicious of Mia and her motives, Mrs. Richardson becomes determined to uncover the secrets in Mia’s past. But her obsession will come at unexpected and devastating costs to her own family – and Mia’s.

Little Fires Everywhere explores the weight of long-held secrets and the ferocious pull of motherhood-and the danger of believing that planning and following the rules can avert disaster, or heartbreak.

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore

To everyone who knows them, best friends Miel and Sam are as strange as they are inseparable. Roses grow out of Miel’s wrist, and rumors say that she spilled out of a water tower when she was five. Sam is known for the moons he paints and hangs in the trees, and for how little anyone knows about his life before he and his mother moved to town. But as odd as everyone considers Miel and Sam, even they stay away from the Bonner girls, four beautiful sisters rumored to be witches. Now they want the roses that grow from Miel’s skin, convinced that their scent can make anyone fall in love. And they’re willing to use every secret Miel has fought to protect to make sure she gives them up.

How to Find Love in a Bookshop by Veronica Henry

The enchanting story of a bookshop, its grieving owner, a supportive literary community, and the extraordinary power of books to heal the heart

Nightingale Books, nestled on the main street in an idyllic little village, is a dream come true for book lovers–a cozy haven and welcoming getaway for the literary-minded locals. But owner Emilia Nightingale is struggling to keep the shop open after her beloved father’s death, and the temptation to sell is getting stronger. The property developers are circling, yet Emilia’s loyal customers have become like family, and she can’t imagine breaking the promise she made to her father to keep the store alive.

There’s Sarah, owner of the stately Peasebrook Manor, who has used the bookshop as an escape in the past few years, but it now seems there’s a very specific reason for all those frequent visits. Next is roguish Jackson, who, after making a complete mess of his marriage, now looks to Emilia for advice on books for the son he misses so much. And the forever shy Thomasina, who runs a pop-up restaurant for two in her tiny cottage–she has a crush on a man she met in the cookbook section, but can hardly dream of working up the courage to admit her true feelings.

Enter the world of Nightingale Books for a serving of romance, long-held secrets, and unexpected hopes for the future–and not just within the pages on the shelves. How to Find Love in a Bookshop is the delightful story of Emilia, the unforgettable cast of customers whose lives she has touched, and the books they all cherish.

♥ ♥ ♥

Buzzword Readathon Recs I’ve Read

Atheists Who Kneel and Pray by Tarryn Fisher

Yara Phillips is a wandering muse.

She dates men who need her, but always moves on to something new, never staying in one place for very long.

David Lisey is in need of a muse.

A talented musician lacking lyrical inspiration. When he first sees her, he knows he’s found what he’s been looking for.

Yara believes she can give David exactly what he needs to reach his full potential: A broken heart.

David’s religion is love.

Yara’s religion is heartache.

Neither is willing to surrender, but religion always requires sacrifice.

The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson

Adrift after her sister Bailey’s sudden death, Lennie finds herself torn between quiet, seductive Toby—Bailey’s boyfriend who shares her grief—and Joe, the new boy in town who bursts with life and musical genius. Each offers Lennie something she desperately needs… though she knows if the two of them collide her whole world will explode.

Join Lennie on this heartbreaking and hilarious journey of profound sorrow and mad love, as she makes colossal mistakes and colossal discoveries, as she traipses through band rooms and forest bedrooms and ultimately right into your heart.

As much a celebration of love as a poignant portrait of loss, Lennie’s struggle to sort her own melody out of the noise around her is always honest, often uproarious, and absolutely unforgettable.

Where the Silence Gathers by Kelsey Sutton

In this companion novel to the critically acclaimed Some Quiet Place, Alex must choose between Revenge and Forgiveness.

For as long as she can remember, Alexandra Tate has been able to see personified Emotions, and she’s found a best friend in Revenge. He’s her constant companion as she waits outside Nate Foster’s house, clutching a gun. Every night since Nate’s release from prison, Alex has tried to work up the courage to exact her own justice on him for the drunk driving accident that killed her family.

But there’s one problem: Forgiveness. When he appears, Alex is faced with a choice—moving on or getting even. It’s impossible to decide with Forgiveness whispering in one ear . . . and Revenge whispering in the other.

Buzzword Readathon TBR & Recs! + {New Video} The Buzzword Readathon starts on Monday and I'm SO ready. OK, maybe not SO ready, but kind of ready and also nervous because I have a lot of physical books on my list and only one audio.

[molliefoos060-blog]

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In today's globe there is a great amount of focus on discovering effective ways to connect as well as social skills when that involves private growth as well as achievement. That's why very most candidates (and dieters) wind up gaining back their original weight As our company've claimed before: health and fitness is an ability So as to absolutely progress, you'll should go down the word blunder off your lexicon to ensure you could change inside. When this comes to having powerful interaction is actually that they are actually not mindful of their physical body vocal, accent or language variation, the very first popular oversight people make. Below are actually seven common oversights that earns a degree make in their return to as well as ought to prevent this.

Definitely, mistakes are good for us - they create us which our company are as well as often make up our most valuable prizes of knowledge and also knowledge. If you treasured this article therefore you would like to be given more info relating to yellow pages london (their website) kindly visit our web site. Understand that your trouble with your little ones' oversights remains in reality a reflection from your challenge coping with your personal errors; recognize this as well as cope with your very own problems initially. You can get in touch with RI Lawyer David Slepkow by going to Rhode Isle Household Regulation Lawyer or even by naming him at 401-437-1100. Although we have all listened to the terror accounts of folks acquiring benefited from by mechanics that have made recommendations for repairs or even services that were certainly not important, you do not want to risk the chance that your technician is being actually honest along with you, even if you are being low-priced or even untrusting. Positively allow the concept that your youngsters are performing their best, which they'll discover faster regarding their errors if they remain in an atmosphere that allows oversights. Viewpoint just what occurred as an encounter that will definitely boost your actions as well as habits, so you will not make the very same oversight once more. Acknowledging blunders suggests durability: Wanting to check out, go out on the edge, and also fall short, specifically before others, signifies a person who relies on herself and also her potential to succeed. Like I discussed above, my most significant mistake after passing was actually tingling and purchasing a cars and truck prematurely. And also, hopefully you'll understand that just because you miscalculated doesn't indicate you enable that to undo every one of the excellent selections you have actually brought in and also the goodness that is in your soul. This is crucial to comprehend the manner in which errors may developing deals to ensure that your service is actually certainly not come to be involved in contracts which may be made gap or voidable due to an error entering into the arrangement. Our team often uncover just what will do by determining exactly what will certainly refrain; as well as probably he who certainly never miscalculated never ever created an invention. David Slepkow is actually a Rhode Island Separation Legal representative concentrating in Divorce, Family members Rule, Restraining Purchases, DCYF, Adoptions, Dna paternity, Blog post Breakup, Relocation, Little one Custodianship, visiting and also support. Consequently, you should obtain quotes off numerous providers to guarantee you're receiving the greatest cost. While some artists may say that it took all of them a lifetime to obtain their search from being a professional within this area, a frequent Joe may actually find it much easier learning how to participate in piano thanks to the tools provided today as well as along with the current technology. Rather than wasting your time thinking about that made the mistake or even which is actually very most responsible, examine the situation overall as well as see exactly how you can easily change this for the better. You can re-send the initiative to these receivers utilizing MessageFocus's filter resource, with the correct link apologising for any irritation as well as the error induced. It was a 2003 Ford that had clearly acquired a decent handful of kilometers (most likely certainly not the greatest option I had made) but I possessed my vehicle! Some personal trainers make the mistake of following what they presume will definitely function better, without understanding the physical exercise activities, strategies and tools they could be using. Value your errors for what they are: priceless life lessons that can simply be know the hard way. That was claimed that Cullinan helped make the oversight after receiving distracted when he twittered update a photograph, which has actually due to the fact that been erased, from Emma Stone after she gained Ideal Actress at 9:05 pm - merely mins before the most effective Image oversight. The very best sort of blunder is where the prices are low but the knowing is higher," Schoemaker says. The concern with blaming people for our mistake is that our team will certainly experience the pain as well as effects of our blunder, however will not pick up from it, and so bingo! Detailing in a non-defensive method what brought about the blunder could assist people much better understand why this occurred as well as effective ways to avoid that later on. Oversight # 4)) No Dating Funnel: A guy stalks a female, customers an ingenious opener, receive's her contact number, calls her a few days later, he establishes a 1st day and afterwards they walk out. See that you do not provide a severe repercussion for a mistake that was actually given good attempt. Given that you are actually as well afraid to create a blunder, the only blunder that may absolutely hurt you is picking to do absolutely nothing just. If you can easily manage to steer clear of making any of these five oversights outlined above, you'll be well positioned to recover your ex man's center ... and rebuild a satisfied, caring connection that will stand up the test of time. However, among the biggest main reasons our experts restrict ourselves off brand new adventures is because-- although our team have actually all brought in and survived many of all of them-- our company hate mistakes. When I refused this, I after that thought concerning exactly how I would certainly create that write-up and also created a couple of pointers I could make use of those pointers to compose a write-up myself, to ensure brief repetitive short article created a concept for me but this will not be copying. Oversight # 1) Acting Needy: Some of the most significant keys of attraction as well as temptation is actually a male that resembles he performs NOT need to have a girl. You can easily regularly request for quotes as well as contrast that with 4 to five asks for and choose the very best. Merryll Manning: Entraped On Enigma Island through John Howard Reid was published over twenty years back in Australia. That is vital for you to avoid this mistake as well as be gotten ready for various other costs like evaluation expenses, appraisal prices, financing handling charges, etc There really are no mistakes, only choices you created accordinged to the impressions you contended the moment. Positively accept the thought that your little ones are performing their greatest, which they'll find out a lot faster about their mistakes if they are in an environment that allows blunders. Scenery just what happened as an encounter that is going to enhance your practices and also habits, thus you won't create the same error again. Recognizing mistakes is a sign of toughness: Being willing to discover, go out on the brink, and fall short, particularly in front of others, signifies an individual who believes in herself as well as her capacity to be successful. Like I pointed out above, my largest oversight after passing was getting excited as well as getting an auto untimely. I will detail the significant ones to ensure if you are carrying out the activity to set up marble floor ceramic tiles you have an odds not to create the usual blunders in the first place. You and your children could view this film without fear of unnecessary and also unpleasant garbage originated in sensationalism for rankings as well as greed. Although everyone miscalculates now and then, satisfy carry out certainly not take too lightly the relevance from right syntax. You created the mistake merely because you located your own self in a posture in which your opinion about a business was being challenged as well as you were facing the unpleasant setting of must accept that you were wrong. Massage therapy oversights include mistakes in pressure, or not checking in with the customer about his/her convenience. Slip up pertains to a little blunder in speech or even creating, or even to a small indiscretion: I misspelled his name by a slip from the marker. For many years I produced some adventures with other determines as well as different forms of strands that I desire to show you. There is actually a considerable amount of I am actually FINE, you are actually FINE, mistakes are FINE" talk out there in both your business and also self-help planet. Moms and dads that raise their youngsters to become frightened of miscalculating could typically seeing pointing the finger at as a response to the error.