#mind im not even 20 yet so she was expecting me to know when i very wellhave been completely new to weed

[swagging-back-to]

so i hought a whole bunch of shit and still had enough for all my food, with some money left over

heres my new pipe. i have no idea what it's supposed to be. it's so ugly and weird. im thinking of naming it.... send in suggestions maybe?

it reminded me of those noodle worms and i was like absolutely that one LOL

[leafostuff]

Private Appreciation [FT. TripleS Nien]

Tags: smut, established relationship, slow stripping, body worshipping, cunnilingus (at least an attempt lol)

Author's Note: quite short but it was fun writing, really into Nien lately so i had to write something about her, it does count as my September upload

I have been feeling a bit down lately so it took me longer than expected to finally finish the smut (started writing in 20/8/24), i hope yall enjoy it even though the end may feel a bit rushed.

=================================

“Baby…im horny”

“Nien, what the fuck?”

Honest question: was this the appropriate time for such a saying?

you and your girlfriend Nien are cuddling on your couch, watching some random romcom movie on a saturday afternoon, you would've gone outside and had a normal date but today your laziness was next level so you decided to stay at home, it's not like it was gonna get any less hot.

And here’s Nien, telling you the most random thing you heard this week (and for the time you know her, she said a lot of random things) during a movie where it's not like there is a sex or kissing since its was only the first 25 minutes of the movie, so there wasn't anything to trigger her.

“What do you mean ‘what the fuck’?” She whines while her eyes look as tired as ever. “I am feeling hot, wet and it's sure as hell not making it easier for me with all of the sexual tension going between them” she complains while pointing at the screen.

“They are just… flirting” you say, a bit confused

“And?! I can tell 30 minutes from now they are banging” she annoyingly added while her hand goes to grab some popcorn, cutely munching on it.

“Nien are…is it that-”

“NO ITS NOT THAT TIME OF YOUR MONTH” she responded, now angry at you. “I am just horny, and wet, and i need you RIGHT NOW,” she explains.

“In the middle of the movie though?? I already paid fo-” You wanted to ask when suddenly Nien leans forward to capture your lips and quickly releasing, leaving you surprised.

“Please jagi…?”

Its unfair how weak you are to her, the pleading puppy eyes that look at you with glimmer in her pupils, her innocent and sweet smile that will one day will be the cause of your death, and her nickname for you that sends tingles to your brain to switch into ‘yes’ mode almost automatically for her.

You sigh in defeat, its not like you couldve changed her mind anyways.

“Ok babe…lets do it” you say

“Yayyyy, thank you baby” she responds, pulling you into a tight embrace. “You are the best, you know that?”

“Brat” is the only word you can think to yourself when you see how happy she is as you cant help yourself but lean in and mesh your lips with hers engaging in a slow, lazy yet very sensual makeout session.

It's quite clear how much both of you enjoy this, making hums and quiet whimpers in between each kiss while your hands roams around each other’s back. Slowly you could feel Nien slowly fall into the couch with you joining her as now you are on top of herz still focusing on the kiss.

Release yourself from the kiss and look at her. Wearing a pink tube top that shows her smooth belly and tiny navel in their full glory paired with denim jeans that make her look more curvy than she is, her eyes look directly into yours with a mix of excitement and arousal, so you ask.

“Bed?”

“No, on the couch” she answers, “don't wanna move” she lazily said with a wide smile, with that logic you won't look for any arguments with her.

“Okay babe… what do you want me to do?” You ask, in the end, it's her wish to do this so who are you to not let her have it her way?

“My tummy…kiss it” she cutely pleads, you know how important foreplay is for Nien as in her eyes, foreplay is the key for having the best time. So nod with a smile before lowering your face to be parallel to her belly, take one last look at her before planting your first kiss barely above her navel, sending tingles directly to her brain.

“Ngh..yes…” she hums in excitement while closing her eyes, seeing her reception to your first kiss was good you continue peppering kisses all around her navel. Sometimes giving a teasing lick that makes her elicit a quiet moan.

“My pants…Ah-baby…” she breathes 

“What about them babe? I can't read your mind” You teasingly ask, knowing exactly what she wants you to do with them but hearing her say it is part of the fun for you.

“Nghh…take them off” she instructs as you oblige, your fingers working diligently as each button of her jeans that you pop, you place a soft kiss directly to her belly button, after the last button is undone you lower her denim clothing down her thighs, revealing her white panties with a visable stain in the middle.

“You weren't joking when you said you were wet”

“shut up” she moaned, giving you a light smack on the head. “take the panties… off too baby".

“Should I continue kissing?” A simple question in which Nien just nodded, your hands now went to her panties, sliding them off slowly, letting the friction drive her insane as your girlfriend takes her hands and plants them on the back of your head.

Eventually, you leave her completely naked waist down, letting you see her soft thighs and her glistening sex without any obstruction as you could feel yourself get harder by the view. “What now babe?” You ask, waiting for your next orders.

“One hand on my thigh… and-” she stops for a second to release a small moan. “Kiss higher” It's hard for her not to sound needy, especially when you pleasure her midriff with only your lips and tongue.

But, her wish is your command.

So let your palm rest on her right thigh, knead and massage it to your heart's content, all to amplify her pleasure from you tenfold. Meanwhile, your lips travel up from her midriff, eventually stopping near the in-between of her two mounds.

A glance at your girlfriend and you know exactly what she needs as your free hand holds the hem of her top, slowly taking it off revealing no bra and instead a pair of boobs neither too small or too big, just the perfect size for you to let your face dive into the gap between her tits, savoring their sweet taste.

“YES…more….” Nien whines a breathy moan while you alternate between each mound, kissing and licking all around her nipples while her hands get inside the back of your shirt, gliding across your back in an attempt for her to be as close to you as possible.

This goes on for a while, you kiss your girlfriend’s entire body while she instructs you, telling you exactly how she wants to feel good from you, each correct action you follow causes Nien to moan loudly but eventually she pushes you away from her tits.

“What happened?” you ask, confused by the sudden push as she looks at you with a horny smirk.

“I want you to eat me out oppa”

Pause, Nien letting you eat her pussy out is something quite rare for her to suggest since she always felt it was a bit uncomfortable for her. Disagreeing with her request would be foolish of you so look down at her glistening pussy, waiting for you to devour it like your next dinner and let your face close between her thighs.

One last look at her grinning smile and you start

“Yess…” she hisses, your first lick sends tingles to her brain, causing her to wrap her legs around your head, meanwhile her hands grab your hair, trying to not lose herself in the haze, after that you let yourself run wild on her inner thighs and wet pussy with long licks and kisses.

She is still not close however, it is just the beginning for the both of you. So increase your pace slightly to raise the volume of Nien’s breathy moans let her thighs squash your face signaling how horny she is 

“I'm close baby…” it's not hard to tell, how her moans are getting higher pitch, how her thighs are clamped around you and how her grip on your hair is harder, it may hurt but you don't mind, both of you are close to your high.

Eventually you let yourself enjoy the main course since Nien finally let herself go, her wetness flowing out of her as your mouth salivates her sweet taste, meanwhile her left hand gropes her left breast to amplify her own pleasure audible by her sensual moans

Eventually her climax comes to an end, her last wave of cum comes out of her pussy into your mouth. Raise your head and see Nien, a panting mess after the high she has been feeling all this time as now she also rises up from her lying position now seated near you, hands wrapped around you and leans in to kiss your right cheeks.

“Thank you, i feel much better now”

“Anything for you babe” you respond, returning the favor with a kiss of your own. You were helping your girlfriend find her clothes when suddenly you heard sounds of moans coming from the TV. 

You forgot the movie was playing the entire time, the main couple were now making out, half naked and ready to begin their own endeavours for their orgasm.

“I CALLED IT!!”

=================================

Hope you have a good day leafies

[yutarot]

IN PERFECT SYNC [j.jh smau]

betrayal [noun]  /bɪˈtreɪ.əl/

1 : the act of dissapointing a persons trust, hopes or expectations.

2 : revelation of something hidden or secret.

3 : failure to keep or honour a promise, principle or cherished memory, etc.

twelve — betrayal. wc: 1k

café neoro. 4:14pm

if you were to say you weren’t confused by the sudden cafe invitation, you’d be lying.

as you enter the front door, triggering the cafe’s bell to ring, you spot giselle sat in the far corner, biting her nails; a habit she does only when she’s dreading something.

that’s weird.

she spots you, dropping her hands to the table and nodding you over to come and sit with her.

“you’re here!” she squeals, “you’re here..”

the atmosphere is strange, you must admit and there’s something odd lining the air between you. so you begin to drone on about your class in efforts to ease off the weirdness.

“urg, im so sick of my professor just constantly leaving the hall. im literally paying to be here and he can’t even be bothered to stay!” you whine as you set your bag down beside you, sitting opposite giselle on the cafes patchwork coach.

it’s a cute little place, you and the girls come here often to catch up when you don’t see eachother for periods of time in exam season.

but for giselle to ask you here alone? when neither of you have exams for months?

there was something going on.

“honestly, i wish my professor would leave sometimes.” she replies. “she’s so boring!”

you laugh, spending the next 20 minutes complaining about your courses and gossiping about overheard conversations.

that’s until you decide to bring up giselle’s absence from the party the other night.

“where did you even go?!” you ask, too excited for your own good. but you know giselle.

and you know she’s forcing her smile.

“oh, just some room upstairs, no idea who’s. could have been chenles for all i know.” she laughed.

you take a sip of your coffee as you laugh in reply, winking at her jokingly. “so, who was the guy? was he good at yk… that stuff..”

she giggles as she nods. but her smile withers.

“look, yn.”

the sudden change of atmosphere brings you right back to the feeling of the beginning of your meet-up, the cold, stark vibe of something being wrong, of something eating away at whatever is between you.

“i told myself that i should be honest with you, so i will.” she continues.

“what is it, giselle? you’re scaring me.”

she’s silent for a moment.

the silence kills.

but you soon find out that it isn’t the silence that is killing you, its the thought that in these mere seconds, giselle is counting down the moments until she tells you who it is.

until she knowingly breaks your heart.

“it was jaehyun. the guy i slept with was jaehyun.”

your mind feels heavy, unattached even.

how could she do this? after everything you went through. she was the one who was there the entire time, she was the one who comforted you, telling you how he was in the wrong and how he deserved the worst kind of punishment for what he did.

and yet, in the end, she must have never truly believed it. because now she has betrayed your trust.

and she has betrayed you.

“what?” you can feel your vision going foggy, tears welling up in your eyes.

“i know, i know. i shouldn’t have, but can you really blame me?”

“yes!” you raise your voice, and your thankful that the cafe is near empty. “giselle…”

there’s a pause of silence as she lets you figure out what you want to say.

but you continue. “you know what he did to me. you hugged me as i cried when i found out. i had no friends because of him, none! all the girls in highschool hated me giselle, do you know how that feels?”

you’re crying at this point, but she listens, watches as you burst into tears.

“do you know how it feels to find out your bestfriend had been shit-talking you to all the girls just so he could get in their pants?! he had used me as a pickup line giselle, he had embarrassed me, telling girls he thought i was ugly, annoying, that he only tolerated me to make himself look better, all so that they wouldn’t get jealous! do you know how that feels?”

“…no.”

“so why would you do that?” you quieten down, almost to a whisper as you struggle to get your words out. “you know how much he hurt me, about how i can never be friends with half the girls in this college because to this day they still laugh and point. and yet, you don’t care about any of that.”

“it was one night, yn.”

“and yet you still felt that that one night was important than my feelings. how do u think im going to look when people find out my best friend has slept with him? i already look stupid enough!”

“yn, noone will know, i promise.” she replies.

“i know. that’s enough.” you stand up, leaving giselle sat there as you make your way to the door as you let the tears fall.

you feel 18 again, you feel the eyes, the giggles as you would when u walked down the hallway with jaehyun, unaware of what he had been doing behind your back.

jaehyun was probably so smug right now, knowing he had not only used you in highschool, but in college too, and with your own bestfriend on top of all that.

so now, you hate him even more that you ever did before.

you’ll never understand him, you’ll never know why he did what he did.

but there’s one thing you’ll know you will always do:

you will always hate him.

mlist — next

notes; so!.. i guess the truth is out now….. hope u guys don’t hate me too much! 😄😄 (btw there won’t be a chapter tmr bc im busy all day and don’t have the next chapter written, the next update will be sunday! sorry😞)

taglist — open; @https-yeonjun @chenlesfavorite @therealbobbyshloby @f6llsun @jkslvsnella @nanaxwi @cloudmrk @neocrashed @vernonburger @vividwritess @taeeflwrr @mmjhh1998 @cyjzzl @stareaa @minkyuncutie @mrkleelvr @dudekiss3r @nattan127 @slayhaechan @jaeveil @tynlvr @mslora @nosungluv @grassbutneo @dokyriu @girlz4jaem @axo-l0tl @yyangj3lly @solvrse @m1ng1swife @gentlepeach @xiuriii @soobinbunnie5 @tocupid @apolloxxivmin @ctrlstar @gyuguys @tokitosun @i-kai @flamingi @mrkleelvr @en-dream @queenrachelpink @ssweetreveries @swanyvess @flaminghotyourmom @hyuck-me @cryingforjae @hizhu @starfilledgaze

[muikitoo]

Hi,Ummm,good morning/night

Can I request something regarding the Rottmnt boys,I want them their love at first sight with a female reader in a school ay(More like a mix between the Yokai/mutant/human society

(No rush,It's ok if you don't want to do it and stuff,It's totally fine to take your time☺️,Have a nice day/night)

Love at first sight

Aged up! Rottmnt x fem! Reader

(somewhere around their 20s)

Warnings:

None

A/N: this was so hard to do for me for some reason (especially Mikey and Raph), i had to think for a few days for certain scenarios and this might come late bc i rlly want it to be good. Im sorry if it isnt what u expected 🙏

You were an English teacher who recently started working at a new school. Youre quite nervous, but exciting at the thought of what awaits you with this sudden change.

Donnie

- Donnie was one of those strict science teachers that nobody dared to underestimate.

- At first, he didnt seem too interested when he heard of a new teacher who started working there.

- hes never even been a romantic type, he honestly didnt care and let fate decide if he gets a partner or not.

- When he saw you for the first time though, he thought he might be hallucinating.

- "Oh sweet Galileo help me.."

- you probably immediately checked his "cute but mean" type without even saying a single word

- He became more interested in you, talking to you more often, even at times asking u to meet up during the break.

- "Hey, uhm.. Could i maybe interest u in some coffee during the break?"

- he thought all of this "romantic feeling" thing wasnt real, but he seriously cant help but fall for you.

Leo

- Leo is obviously the laid-back cool Spanish teacher.

- Almost every student liked him, he was chill and even jokes around

- (he once drew donnie on the board with a huge forehead and wrote "megamind" next to it)(no, donnie did not take that well)

- He was quite interested when he heard of a new teacher, hell he was probably the first one to interact with you out of his brothers

- The second he saw you, this mf fell straight face down in love with you

- "oh mi gosh thats the new teacher?! Shes gorgeous! Do you see her Donnie?! You see her?! Oh i so need to get her number!!"

- tries to act sly and flirt with you

- and fails miserably

- "Hey there hermosa, how do you feel about a date? Ya know, just you and me? *Wink wink* *leans on wall, trips and falls miserably*"

- (A/N: i cried writing that)

Mikey

- Mikey is the sweet art teacher and students enjoy being around him, but yet again they probably wont dare to underestimate his "Dr. Delicate touch" side

- He was quite excited when he heard about a new teacher.

- When he saw you, he suddenly felt nervous and flustered. And he knew why.

- at this point, everyone but you knew abt how he admires you, a little more than in the friendly way.

- He couldnt get the courage to go and talk to you, which put Dr. Feelings to shame

- When you actually started talking tho, you got quite close.

- Youd be with him almost every break

- You would often stay in his classroom/art studio and watch him paint during the lunch break

- and during those times he even asks u to pick his colours

- "Hey Y/n, which colour do you think would suit the ladies dress more? Red or blue?"

- Sometimes you even jokingly ask to be his model, but in all honesty he doesn't mind at all

- you guys were an inseparable duo, and he caught himself falling more and more for you

Raph

- He's the PE teacher, hes fun but strict when he needs to be.

- He doesnt mind that theres a new teacher, hes quite excited abt it actually - he would gladly want to meet you.

- First thing that catches his eye is that he thinks youre really pretty.

- He's most likely stuttering during ur first convo now😭

- Hes super sweet, bringing you coffee and/or lunch, helping u out with random teacher stuff, checking up of u, ect

- "Hey! How you feeling? I brought you some coffee.. if youd like."

- Hes so shy, but he cant help but feel his heart flutter every time you thank him or show appreciation towards him

A/N: Raph was so hard and i know it's not accurate at all. Ive literally been beating my ass up bc of him cuz i didnt have any ideas😭😭 this took super long and I'm really sorry about that, i hope it turned out the way u wanted🙏 anyways its 1AM so im js posting this cuz i have nothing else to do😔

[lampiridaes]

HELLO!!! iys me again heheh, id like to request ermm.. tsukasa and minori, with a s/o that RARELY shows affection by physical touch, BUT gets really clingy when theyre half awake or when theyre sick,,, though when they fully regained their consciousness/health,, they get embarrassed about it? thank yew :3!!

♬ now playing: "suddenly clingy"

-> when you've got a partner as aloof and reserved as you, can you really blame them for being so surprised?

★ — chars ; tsukasa , minori

★ — notes ; MWEHEHE HELLO AGAIN LYN (i hope thats ur name and im not misreading anything somehow huhu)!!! another tsukasa and minori req... rlly love writing them so im always grateful :3 DID U KNOW I DREW MINORI FOR MY CLASS PIN THING!?!?! my teacher was nice enough to print it out for everyone hehe... still have yet to receive it bc of break but just a fun little thing that happened!! hope u enjoy <3

★ — warnings ; implied fem!reader for minori (implies that reader also attends miyamasuzaka) , otherwise none!

★ — taglist ; @akitosheart , @mintchocaur (tsukasa!!)

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ track #1: tenma tsukasa

to put it simply, tsukasa was really surprised! just the night before, you were so calm and reserved, maybe holding his hand a few times. even kissing his cheek once or twice.

... but right now? after you just woke up? you're all over him. literally. he doesn't mind, please don't get him wrong! tsukasa finds it endearing, if anything. it's just...

"tsukasa... love you..."

feeling your entire body cling onto his with such desperation... he wants to question it, but at the same time, it might risk embarrassing you and making you back away again, which isn't what he wants at all!

though the embarrassment was basically inevitable, as 20 minutes or so later, you're back to your usual self, just a little more shy this time.

"oh, goodness... tsukasa, i'm sorry, i didn't-"

"not to worry, [name]! i don't mind it one bit!"

he knows that you don't show a lot of affection normally for a reason. maybe you're too shy, maybe you're uncomfortable with it. as much as he loves it when you do, tsukasa doesn't force you to do anything! sure, he'll ask once or twice every once in a while, but he's very understanding if the answer is no.

... though, if you do it when you're fully awake for the first time... expect him to suddenly get all quiet and freeze up. it's a good thing, no worries.

★ track #2: hanasato minori

minori's way of showing her love for you is mostly words of affirmation or gift giving, so she doesn't mind that you aren't too keen on physical affection!

that doesn't mean anything bad, of course! it's not like she doesn't want to hug you, hold you, or kiss you, it's just that... she's a little shy about it. which means your lack of physical affection works out just fine.

so you can imagine how perplexed she was when you started begging for her attention, holding her hand and asking her to stay with you when you got sick.

"minori, stay a little longer... i'll feel so much better if you're here..."

minori may be an idol now, but hearing compliments from someone she truly holds near and dear to her heart... might give her a heart attack.

... but she also really adores it. after all, it makes her feel loved and special, more so since it's coming from you, of all people.

with all the training and practices she needs to attend to nowadays, minori makes sure to leave cute, handwritten notes or sweet text messages to check up on you! if you're allowed to use your phone when you're sick, that is.

when you finally recover and go back to school, it's absolutely over for the both of you. minori gets flustered easily on her own, but now that you've also lost your cool, getting all red alongside her? it's quite a cute scene from an outsider's perspective.

... the outsiders being the rest of more more jump, of course. as silly and clumsy the two of you can be, you're really the perfect pair for each other.

[lvxybby]

"Another, please" Dad Kai Anderson X Mom Reader

A/N: its christmas time, so i thought i would give you all a gift<3 THIS DOES INCLUDE SMUT!!!

Work. Absolutely destructing. but thankfully it was friday and the rest of my day was focused on spending time with Kai and our 4 year old daughter, Nova. i was just so ready to plop down on the soft couch with a glass of red wine in my grasp. i pulled out of the packed parking garage and onto the busy road. traffic was being a pain in the ass, so naturally i took back roads and arrived home about 20 minutes early. i was so exhausted, but everything changed when i opened the door, just to see kai sitting on the floor with a crown on his head. and our daughter nova sitting across from him. "mommys home! look daddys a princess!" she said jumping up and pointing at him. i softly chuckled. "i didnt expect you to be home yet..." kai said taking the crown off and walking over to me with nova. "awh... you were so pretty" i said brushing the hair out of his face. he let out a scoff. "what? your just being a good dad" i said picking up nova. i pressed a small kiss on kais cheek. "i wanna kiss!" nova exclaimed reaching for her father. she cupped his face and pecked his nose. kai kissed her forehead. "ok, how about mommy can go give you a bath then we can watch a movie?" kai asked our daughter. "yeah!" she said very happily. i smiled at kai while i took nova upstairs into the bathroom. i couldnt stop thinking how sweet kai is with nova, its made him into a completely new person. although he wants her to be the leader of "Fear Is Truth" when he dies, he doesnt want her being around too much while shes still very young. it always reminds me of when i found out i was pregnant, kai made EVERYONE know if they even touched me, he would kill them. hes very protective of his daughter, shocking. i snapped out of my little mind trance when nova was tapping my leg. "mommy? wheres the water?" she asked sitting in the empty tub. "oh baby, im sorry. mommy got a bit distracted" i said turning the knobs on the wall. soon warm soapy water filled the tub. "bubbles!" she exclaimed smiling and blowing them in front of herself.

After her bath we walked back downstairs as kai scrolled through HBO. "hi daddy!" she smiled, running over to him. she climbed onto the couch and bounced eagerly. "movie!" she exclaimed. i sat down next to her. i ran my hand through her hair. "shh baby, calm down". "ok!" she was very bright and happy about everything. we looked for movies until suddenly she turned over to look at kai. "daddy? why is your hair blue but mine isnt...i want blue hair! im tired of brown" she said pouting. me and kai laughed. "well...i have hair dye in my hair" he said looking over at her. "i want!" she said smiling. "ummm...we'll see" i said looking at her. finally kai settled on a movie. not even halfway through, nova was fast asleep, laying on her fathers thigh. i paused the movie. "hm?" kai said loudly. i quickly shushed him. but when he opened his mouth to protest, i pointed to nova. "ohh" he whispered. he picked her up and took her to her room. i stayed on the couch. i sat there thinking. i wanted something, but i didnt know what.

Wine

i got up and scanned the kitchen for our wine. my eyes landed upon it and i poured me a glass. by the time i finished pouring it kai had come back down. i took a few sips. he come behind me and looked over my shoulder. "let me taste" he spoke. i turned around to hand him the glass but he gently moved my hand away. he pressed his lips to mine. i set the glass on the counter. my hands snaked their way around his head. next thing i know were on the couch. his lips still connected to mine. "babe...i want another" he mumbled against my lips. "really?" i said laughing a bit. "maybe..." i said before kissing him again. "wanna try" he asked. "sure" i agreed. his hands worked quick of my pants. mine doing the same to his. we removed piece after piece of clothing from each other. i could feel his clothed cock rub against me. he took off my panties as i worked on his boxers. his red and hard cock sprung free, hitting his lower stomach. pre cum leaked from his tip. i could feel my wetness grow from the sight of him above me. he simply stroked himself a few times, before pressing his tip into me. "oh fuck..." i moaned. he adjusted a bit before thrusting slowly, but deep. he let out a soft groan. his hands held onto my waist, and my legs were tight around him. his pace became faster after some time "ohhh yeahh" he moaned. i felt myself growing closer to my orgasm. "kai! yes, your doing so great." i yelped throwing my head back. "shh quiet" he said before kissing my neck. i whined. my orgasm was so close and i was going to be hard to keep quiet. the knot in my stomach twisted and churned. "oh fuck im so close" i whine. "shit....mmph...me too" was all he was able to get out. he thrusted harder and harder and finally i came. thankfully we knew we were going to be loud so we clamped eachothers mouth shut. his seed flew into me. maybe we will have another.

[sakkiichi]

hello, i'd like to request a matchup! i'm in my 20s, significant other/male matchup please

my friend's description:

she can look intimidating at first sight but once you get to know her, she can give the deepest conversations, intellectual topics and the best listener when you need someone to talk to instead of advices. She is quite lazy to go somewhere but can spend hours in department stores. She never judges someone and open-minded to any opinions but is very loyal to her own beliefs and is very prideful. She expects decent-level respect from everyone which can be stressful to herself. In terms of relationship, she needs someone who is quick-witted, observative and needs to know their ways to make someone talk their feelings.

random facts: i look bored/sleepy/angry normally, rbf in definition.. but im super timid and people pleasing, avoidant attachment, quick to drown in my head/thoughts, get quiet and dismissive when sad/angry, and the most important aspect of a person for me is their emotional depth and respect.

thank you sm!

hello, dear nonnie ! thank you for the info you sent <3 i hope you like your matchup ! i apologize too for the wait…

i’m publishing the ask since you didn’t sign it and i have no way to identify you otherwise, hope that’s alright with you.

your genshin impact match is someone who, much like you, looks intimidating the first time you lay eyes upon him. his smarts are definitely a good quality in him; though, at times, it can lead into him being less than good with feelings, bordering on harsh. In a parallel to your listening over advising trait, he’s the type to provide solid facts and practical solutions rather than comfort. If you are looking for someone quick-witted, who can hold intellectual conversations, he’s definitely your man.

well, can you guess who fits this description…?

✧ ALHAITHAM

What you deem to look intimidating at first sight, is, in no way, a setback for the scribe. I mean, take a look at him, he’s not the softest looking either, and yet, he cares (in his own way).

Your ability to be a good listener is something Alhaitham really needs. Even if he won’t express it at all, it is not frequently when he can lay his burdens on anyone else, often tending to shoulder them by himself. In addition, your tendency to listen over providing advice is something that really can favor our beloved former acting grand sage; he has the means to figure out his troubles himself, but, albeit not the best at making it obvious, he’d really appreciate and value the warmth of his lover by his side in his most trying times.

Don’t worry if you’re lazy to go out, Alhaitham isn’t the most adamant when it comes to outings, nor is he fond of crowds.

However, that smile of yours, when you browse through department stores, all sparkly eyed and radiating joy… he could stare at you forever, like this…

—

Bags keep accumulating on the scribe’s strong arms.

For once, he can’t say ‘no’.

But did he really want to ever deny you, when sunshine itself seems to cling to your frame as you run from one place to the other?

From bookstores you spent hours perusing, giving your lover the puppy eyes every time a tome was too high up for you to reach; to shops filled from floor to ceiling with plushies, to the most crowded clothing stores, the subtle smile on Alhaitham’s lips doesn’t waver.

“Alhaitham! Look, look! Isn’t this bag super pretty? It matches your eyes!” You excitedly wave, holding a turquoise handbag with golden accents for him to see.

His jade-like stare, however, is paying little attention to the object in your hands, favoring instead the crescent outlined in your lips.

Now, Alhaitham has always considered himself in control of his impulses, but right now, you’re making it pretty damn hard.

If it weren’t for the several bags he’s carrying, he’d wrap his arms around you and kiss you breathless right here, right now.

He loves you too much, though, so he’ll humor you.

“Hmm you’re quite right, darling.” He states, gaze sharp, set on the hue of the accessory you’re holding. “I do think it goes very well with the shade of your skin and hair, don’t you think so?” Your boyfriend smirks, aquamarine stare glinting behind the silver edged waves of his soft looking strands.

“Huh, you really think so?” You prompt, a grin tugging at the corner of your lips. Stepping closer to him, you run a hand over his abdomen, stopping with your palm flat over his chest. “In that case, I’ll really have to get it, no?” You practically purr into his ear.

“As long as you’re happy,” the scribe lets out, voice low, managing to balance your new acquisitions and take your chin in between his fingers at the same time, his lips teasingly brushing yours.

As you stand there, frozen and smiley, he takes the new bag from you, paying for it while you dreamily stare at him from a distance.

You can’t wait to start discussing the new books you got today with him later tonight.

And well, your lover can’t wait to kiss you properly later, no people and intense lights around.

—

You being loyal to what you believe in and prideful are attributes Alhaitham really admires from you. Even if at times he can be a bit stubborn, both your personalities can easily reach agreements through debate, due to your open minded nature, which brings us to the next point.

You mention you’d like someone who is quick-witted, so fear not, Alhaitham is plenty quick-witted. With him, no argument is boring, both you and him exposing your facts and reasoning, rather that rising your voices.

He is very observant too, and even though, he is not the best at expressing his own emotions, he can tell when you’re starting to feel uncomfortable or hurt, resulting in him backing off and putting your feelings first.

For that same reason, in moments when you drown in your thoughts, or get detached because you feel angry, sad or frustrated, Alhaitham knows without you having to express it verbally. In these instances, it is not rare for him to just sit by your side, book in hand, as he wraps an arm around you. If you lean into his touch, your head resting on his broad chest, he’ll take that as an indication to run his hands through your hair, soothing the whipping waves of your rage or despair.

If emotional depth and respect are aspects you value in a partner, well, Alhaitham is definitely a complex individual in that sense. As aforementioned, he may not be the most adamant at making it known, but he definitely has an elaborate set of morals and emotions very few are privy to. In rare moments, however, when it’s just you and him, you get to see his more tender side; even his more explosive feelings if you ever got into a dangerous situation.

Considering everything, I do believe you and Alhaitham would make a really nice couple, with lots of interesting conversations by candlelight, as the stars of Sumeru’s distant skies pass over you, bearing witness to the facts on romance you write through hands intertwined and gazes scanning the same page.

✧ RUNNER UP: NEUVILLETTE

You and Fontaine’s chief of justice share some traits in common: looking serious, but being softer than your appearances suggest. You, having a timid temperament and a tendency to people pleasing; him, being sensitive but not fully knowing how to express it.

This man is the epitome of respect. A true gentleman, he’s totally the kind to open doors for you, carry your back, be sure you’re walking on the inner side of the sidewalk, while keeping a protective arm lingering at the small of your back.

If you seek someone with a depth to their character, there’s definitely a lot to unpack when it comes to Neuvillette. He is mysterious, highly intelligent, and way more softhearted than his imposing aura suggests. Just please, hold him softly while you figure out the puzzles of his soul.

I can envision deep philosophical conversations between you and him as well, be it on justice, the latest discoveries on Fontaine’s technology or simply a new mystery novel you’ve picked up, discussing who’s the culprit and trying to piece together the yet to be unveiled facts.

[primaviva]

so any news on carmilla since you returning to the gwen girlies? *does fuck boy hand rub to rizz you into confession*

*does that one pinterest emoji smirk back* ??? LMAOOAOA BUT YES LEMME GIVE YOU GUYS AN UPDATE

for starts yes i AM working on it, i actually started recently and it’s so much easier writing for girls since i have more fun so i feel it maaayyyyyyy get done quicker. but i also want to come on and say that yes, while i will be posting it to tumblr, i think i might make it on wattpad too. its only because i feel like it might be easier for people to read if they read it on wattpad to just scroll and also people usually read series on wattpad and come to tumblr if they wanna read oneshots (beside like oneshot books). and also i like how i can just brainstorm it all together on wattpad and make it look all pretty so… anyways with my AMAZING graphic design skills lemme start showing sneak peaks 😒😒

you can see a little peak of the cover 🤭 BAHAHAHAH but yeah this is what i have going on so far. im also an extreme perfectionist and because i made the wattpad cover start with the capitalization i refuse to not make the titles or writing be lowercase.

ANYWAYS! to start, i usually write gwen with spider gwen in mind so her age is usually between 16-18 in my stuff with the acception of the fics i do that specifically link to spiderverse but she usually is her comic 17-18 version. but for the plot i am gonna take HEAVY inspiration from one of the gwenom comics but its also gonna be based on the comic where she is starting college but when the plot starts she’s already been like a student maybe like a year in.

and secondly….this will NOT be the gwen we know and love or should i say the gwen YALL know and love. i kinda want to mess with her characterization to make it interesting like yes gwen is gonna be the awkward but nice girl but also like because i want this au version of earth 65 to be a little melancholy or dark vibes to it she WILL be a bit of an asshole at times, real cocky, and so on- like it’s gonna be so fun UGH!!

thirdly, im not sure if there is gonna be downright smut in this. like again, ik i have written “suggestive” content like my makeouts because i don’t necessarily write for strictly spiderverse gwen but just a whole amalgamation of it and its always based on comics so she’s like 17-18. i’m bringing this up because if you read carmilla- CMON NOW😭😭😭 there will be the suggestive scenes but idk if imma do it because while this will be the college version of gwen from the comics around 18-19 like i never wrote stuff like that and also don’t wanna perpetuate or feed content to the predator gwen fans on ANY platform. not like carmilla is heavy in sex i just wanna preface that because it’s always weird when people utilize au from something heavily sexual so it implies that the content WILL be sexual and not that that’s wrong in this case i just wanna let yall know you can expect content but not THAT content.

LASTLY the plot is lowkey short like i haven’t fleshed it out yet because i haven’t been having fun on tumblr when i write for guys so i wanna have fun with this and take my time writing the chapters before even releasing them so i don’t worry about dates for theme. but it won’t be like an intense lead rn it’s looking like MAYBE 15 chapters? possibly 20. i want a good balance of plot heavy and also gwen content in it that is sub plots to intensify the main plot (someone break me out of ap lang im gnawing at the enclosure) but i’m still working on it.

so yeah this is just little teasers for now and y’all can tell me what you think. im making little notes and stuff and im gonna woke on the plot and then just get straight to writing so i can just post a chapter weekly until we at the end so it gives me time to sprinkle other stuff in as well. i been over astv and just wanna write for my favorite women so this is me taking my stand on business 😒

[idontplaytrack]

tw: vent

once again feeling like i just wanna give up bc i’m just constantly stuck— mentally, physically. i’m just never really happy anymore. i’m expected to pay for my siblings’ meals when i take them out, and can’t ask for it back because they’re younger than me and they don’t work. i was nearly at $200 in savings and somehow, without spending more than $30 on myself for the last week, I’m down to $95 in my savings. i’ve been scrimping and saving so i can take time off of work and ‘reality’ to go to hawaii for a few days but now im just so much further away from my savings goal that i just feel like it’s not worth it anymore. yes, i know i can just go to a neighbouring country but there’s nothing i wanna do there, the same stores are everywhere in this region and it’s like what’s the point? it’s a personal preference but a place i’ve been wanting to visit but never had the guts to even think about, to plan, to research to make sure i keep in mind that i respect the people, nature and wildlife. to make sure i stay within my budget, knowing where to go, where to eat, what to do, what i want to buy so i only buy those items and not extra things. i know life isn’t fair but why the hell does birth order have to decide what one has to do for family? when the more ‘grown’ adults in the family have nothing but terrible, terrible things to say about the choices i want to make? what i wear, what i eat, where i work, where i want to travel to, what i want to study, where i want to study, why i want to study? why I am always thinking about being anywhere but home??? i get that i owe my parents years and years worth of money and then some for bringing me up, but little things, ‘casual remarks’ stick with me and just ruin me day by day. i can barely remember the good.

i’m in a way fortunate to still live in this apartment with my family so i don’t have to worry about rent. but i pay for my own expenses at work, transportation and my phone bill. i also pay for whatever the hell kind of knick knacks, snacks, meals and even toys when we go out. because i know she doesn’t like to be home and being the target of my parents’ yelling, it sucks for them to talk shit about you right to your face, calling you burdens, telling you their lives stopped because of you. i didn’t choose to be here, i didn’t choose for us to be low-income if you yourselves don’t want to do anything but spew out your so-called ‘creative ideas for new job ventures and asking me to help you. you’re so vague, help with what? how do i help? what do you want me to do? why do i have to give up on my part time job to risk a new career with you that you’re starting from scratch with no clients/customers yet? why is the burden just on me like this even though it isn’t explicitly said? i’m not a bad person, but they’re making me out to be a horrible human being that disrespects family and elders even though i’m treated as less than just because ‘they’re my parents and know me best because they raised me?’ you have no idea how much of myself i had to hide in my 20 years of existence. i don’t even know who i am anymore, what i believe in, what i want in my life for myself.

[destinyc1020]

By the way Hollywood is i would just b content with Kaia being in her late 20s n Austin in his late 30s bt 20 (wen they met) is just so.. young. I actually enjoy Kaias book club n she said in the last one that was told a lot that she was very "mature" n a "old soul" when she was young n i definetly get that vibe from her, i feel like she thinks shes more mature bt by her interviews she sounds like her age to me tbh (nt a bad thing though shes still seems more stable than a lot of other nepo baby models).

I did think her n JE were going to last longer, they give off the same kinda vibe imo. In his print interviews he seems pretentious/wanting to emulate old hollywood stars or Health Ledger n Kaia mentioned smthin about how an artist isnt going to sacrifice their movie for someones kid (wrong lol) cuz thats not how art is made n she wants to "make art". Just by those comments i got why they were a couple ☠️ both of them can just sound very eye rolling to put it plainly lol kaia seems a lil more geniune wen shes nt ignorant about nepotism tho lol

Im srry bt the "rent a model gf" gave me a lil chuckle lmao it def helps wen her last n current bf have been actors n she wants to b an actress now. Anytime someone mentions her its either cuz her mom or shes "_'s gf". I think shes prob going to continue to have a deal with the paps until or if her acting career takes off cuz they give her visibility in hollywood

Late 20s would be fine....shoot... even 25 would be better and just fine imo lol 😆

I've always liked the fact that Kaia had her book club, and it's smthg she's done for years. She's a VERY avid reader, so I'm not even surprised that Austin was attracted to her, coz he loves to read also! 😊 Like, I can totally understand why they clicked, cuz they actually have quite a bit in common.

While I do think that Kaia has been forced to grow up VERY quickly in the modeling world, and probably isn't a "regular person's" 21 year old, she's STILL very young (imo), and pretty naïve and out of touch.... You can tell by her interviews. The funny thing is, she doesn't even realize it yet, which is why it's so ironic.

I'm not sure of the context of what she meant by "making art", so I won't comment on that, but part of me almost feels like she's just repeating buzz words lol. At least with JE, I feel like that's who he truly is, and what he truly wants. Although they sometimes looked miserable together lol, I actually think they were better matched? They were closer in age, and seemed to have similar backgrounds.

ALL of us were more naïve at that age though, so it's not a slight towards her, it's just a reminder that she doesn't have much life experience yet. 🤷🏾‍♀️ According to Psychologists, your brain isn't even FULLY developed until your mid-late 20s!

JE grew up pretty privileged, and so did Kaia. When you've been raised around wealth your entire life like Kaia has, it's hard to know how to relate to "common folk".

Re: JE.....

I'm not even surprised he's with Olivia Jade rn lol. 😅 They've actually lasted waaaay longer than I expected, so I guess he stopped cheating on his gfs lol. 🤭

Re: Rent-a-Model-Girlfriend...

Lol I'm sorry rofl 🤣 But after dating Pete Davidson, Jacob Elordi, and now Austin Butler lol, it just seems like I'm noticing a pattern here rofl 🤣 (Hot, up-and-coming actors who are going places lol)

As far as Austin is concerned.....

I'm probably gonna ruffle some Kaustin/Kaia feathers by saying this lol, but I'll say it anyway since I'm ALWAYS 💯% honest here on my blog....

First off, I'll just say, I think Austin is actually a very nice guy, and definitely seems way more humble and in touch with reality due to his background.

But boy does he have a bad woman picker lol 😂 Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the women he's been with have been "bad women" at all (I actually didn't mind Vanessa back when they were dating pre-covid 🥴), I just think that his personality doesn't always align with who he's dating. So his choices are sometimes like, "seriously?" to me lol. Almost like, he doesn't realize that he could do better. 👀

Tbh, I've often wondered if maybe he got with Kaia because after the lengthy Vanessa rlshp and breakup, maybe he just wanted smthg more low-key, easy maintenance, a pretty girl on your arm for movie premieres and press tours so you're not asked about your ex all the time 🙄, and just someone who can be private, and not rustle feathers too much, or be overly obnoxious on social media. 👀

I could be dead wrong, but I kinda get the impression that he's more so focused on his career right now. Yes, he's been in the business for almost 20 years, but he's JUST now getting his big break, so he's a bit behind than some others who got their big breaks in their early 20s or younger. He could def date an older woman again in the future, but I don't think at this moment in his life that he's really looking for an older woman who might be wanting or pressuring marriage right now.... hence, KAIA. 👀 🤷🏾‍♀️

I actually wouldn't mind Kaia too much if she were at least 25 and came from a regular background like himself. She's private, she doesn't say anything about the rlshp, and many famous ppl need you to be that way when you're dating such a high-profile man. Maybe she took notes from Zendaya lol 🤭

Anyway, I think his focus at the moment is his career. You saw how QUICKLY those engagement rumors got squashed right lol? Rofl 🤣 😂 I'd be a little surprised if he gets engaged to Kaia anytime soon. (I could be totally wrong though)

But he is def a guy who seems to prefer stable, long-term rlshps though, so they will probably last quite a while! They might even surprise everyone and get engaged one day, but I don't see it happening tomorrow, in other words. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Honestly?? I actually think Austin would do well to just be SINGLE for 6 months lol. I know that's a TALL order for a handsome, nice guy in the industry lol, but imo I think it would do him well. He's been through a LOT. Not just his mom's death, but other things in his life as well.

Relationship-wise, he went from an 8-yr rlshp with Vanessa, to then a massive breakup, to then a rebound "situationship" with his Elvis costar Olivia, to then another rebound fling with Lily Depp lol.... like laawwwd dude rofl 🤣 😂 Can't you just be single lol? 🤣

I'll give him a slight pass though, cuz 8 years is a very long time to be with someone, and then NOT have anybody.... I always say that the longer your relationship was, the longer you rebound also. I don't even think they broke up in person face-to-face. 👀

Anyway, IF he and Kaia do breakup one day, I'll be looking to see who he gets with next, cuz if it's some young 21 year old again I'm gonna be giving him the MASSIVE side-eye.

🤨

Anyway, those are my thoughts/opinions.... you don't have to agree. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[solardick]

Find in mind.

Cards died. Resurrect in time, perhaps.

How am i supposed to

Too smoking while im serrounded by an rntire army of assholes fucken with my exixtance? Whole reason i started smokign in the forst place.

Why you you all go take a picture of your shit in the toilet anf then you can frame it on the wall and impresses all yo friends with how proud you ste to take such a massive dhit.

Instead of trying tp prove how united spsrklings yurds are. Tou gonna come harrass me with another girl. And then rape me some

More?

Terrible on tarots part. It lost that time. No new cards.

So, i dont know what to write about the cards. Save that for temperance letter R and letter 3. Incrementally. They belong together. Pooring water down from the sky. Water is essential. Same is said upwards.

On the russian side of things here. Letter Я. Not to say a mirrored image. For both belong seperatively. Apart from one another. This chosen as Waites sun card, to designate the hilghly biased Letter Ii. Not to be mistaken as Ll. As i’ve seen the hermit. Here would show as The man toiling the feild. To promote the ideal of one with nature. Or yet, to give it to the blacksmith. The ideal, and toil to forge the tools of productivity. To forging the self. Both belong to dedication.

What card did i give letter Bb? In this system card letter Ff is exchanged for Bv. Foreign system. Bbv all get jumbled. To tarot it was… the high priestess. But i gave her to number 3. As letter Cc. Which has its own foreign connection to letter Cs. Which happens to be the devil.

Chew that one over a while.

There’s no equivalent to a mirrored B. Thats forbidden. Top tier shit. The gamers ot that level. Dont like if things dont run smooth.

The high priestess here, comes from foreign land. It’s once removed, literally. 3C. She pictorially becomes the field he’s plowing.

But it looks like they fosed ne again. May nog go to work tomiriw again. Be out of work and. Ack to suicide. Lije i an right now. Dorry i havevto ho foghg for my life now sgain. For the N-th year in a row

And nobody deserves having their entire lives owned by other people. So they can fuck with it at leasure.

But, i like my cards. Olmost time to veeto my legs again. I also like having hairless legs. Im not a hairy guy. But the legs always bothered me. Saw a guy sitting there waiting for his appoitment. Wearing shorts riding up his thies. I was like “ewe”. One of my favorite parts of being with a girl. All those 20 years ago. Was the legs. Soft, smooth, could go down there hickey up the inner thy. Another part was when their tops were removed and they were standing infront of you and all you could see in your feild of vission. Were their bare shoulders riding below rosy cheeks. Mhn.

But apparently. According to others. Im a gay bashing homophobe who throws cats agaisnt walls for fun. How can you be a homophobe when you spent the first 13 years of your life sucking on cock. While tour family plays dumb. And introduces you to bands like Korn. Before you even know what their singing about. Then you grow out of it. Realise whta the fuck your doing. And stop. But all thise years. Bred addiction to the only positive source of feel good brain chemicals. Then you fall off the wagon a couple times and get your entire life destroyed by stupid fucken retards. And then over 26 years later tour still being raped by assholes.

What you an alchoholophobe. Dont want to deink this vodka?! Lets poor it doen yo throat. Well. Not really. Doesnt really compare. But. You get the jist. But ehat do you expect from a society that sells poison on every street corner. One stop shop of gassoline, ornohraphy, sugar, alchohol and cigarettes, from a society that sell turd toys for young children. ….. every child matters right? Bunch of bs that is.

If i ever have a kid. Not likely. They arent going to know what i tv is until they get to highschool. No no no. You’re not going to be in this pot of spectrum disorder. Might as well remove the segregation completly and have bous and girls share the same public restrooms.

But, try and might to see what i can do with the cards. Firmly imprinting an image of the emperor save that its mostly associated to war and not good feeling things. Hardship and taxes. The alternative becomes better. Empress things. Merged with the priestess and the devil.

I woke up gin his morning. Why?

Wonder if they’re ever going to give Russia their land back. Its theirs. They gave it to ukraine. Umarine turned their back on them. And joined nato. So they want their land back.

And yes im still

Smoking. Cause im

Still

In prison.

But crawl back out. Until i get pushed back down. It just echoes. Repeat the same lines. Over because i want to but. The momentum is gone. And its hard to get started. Even without. And unfortunaelty all thats comingout is this sickly crap. And i wonder what the next phase of the plan is next week. How im going to be worked.

Save but, to continue on. Ss Cc Cs.

Let these three groupings, i would say, rest. In your mind. There is t other pairing to make with these. From two to three. Four still comes before. Whats already there. Doubles.

Four is a multiplication from three. For there is two ways to spell a number.

With out its symbol it has little trace. To speak of it with a foreign name.

Let me show you.

3

_______

Letter three is Cc. Because of the lack of symbols C plays a duel nature. To distinguish, in english Cc varies between Cs And Ck. Whereas C is soft K is sharp. In most cases K is replaced by C. And often K is silent. The letter is weakened by the unspoken and shares time with knowledge.

Letter three is also Bv to distinguish it from english. It isnt Bb. It belongs with two. Theres a little warping involved while pronouncing B and V to their similarity with three. And the letter C.

But Cs is more of a “Ts” sound. And is no where near three as it falls on number eleven. But it does accentuate two separate bodies. And is less divergent than the western counterpart.

Knowledge is power; power corrupts.

As for C and S. stands the virgin priestess. And the devil side by side. Below that perched is the english devil. And above the cartes des dammes etailla death card. A quaternity of feminine sexuality. Innocence tied to will and bondage.

There is also another pairing with the empress card who from the foundation up serves for number three. This also changed position with the qwerty system, from a lack for what to call it, and was given to letter D. Its equivalent is Д, which starts one basic word that forms close to the heart. Дом. Home. Its certainly more comforting written in the russian set than it is in english. It was given to the throne. Domicile. Dominion. Domination. Damnation if its built upon the fool.

The D is set to symbolize the womb. From where life comes. The physicality of presence. Substance, with form. Its a living world. Not mechanical.

And the game is all

About unlocking yo chi.

Had a couple visitors this weekend. A cat and a ferret. Exploring my appartment. Well their about to innitiate another hit on me. We’ll see what it is.

So i may as well go

Get a pack of smokes. Going on 40 consistent ywars of being hit like this. Taking other peoples punishments. That they deserve on top of everything fun dun.

Uh, all that came up was casually mentioning boogus sexyal harrasment charges. No gay dhit. Surprised. Eow.

So in this image of temperance and the land. She has no place as of yet in my deck. Not the one i’m working on. She should belong somewhere in there. Attention is still drawn to card letter Я. The farmer in his field, surrounded by golden wheat. Hat’s off, for more sun. … though, like already before, the blacksmith gives light to the industrial. To strength, and formation. It just doesnt fit well with the above. You want something harmonious to see. Something that brings all the cards together. In a way that surpasses the attention.

Hey the cats back. Male, tiger striped.

Maybe, the man, with his straw hat, holding a hammer. In the feild. “What you doing with a hammer way out here, old man?”

What indeed son….

Something like this. And not to remember that Я stands for I. They mean the same thing. Every letter that has room for an I. Put it. Its fun to consider card letter 3 has no I. B does. D, E, F, H, K, L, M, N, P, R, T, Y is debatable. Not really a full I. M and N are partial. Sometimes slanted. But curios if to use this. On the matter of the Tower card letter Б, and card letter 3. If card letter B isnt present. Another messages speaks out here. A tower in the field. Worth to think about.

So card letter 3 is on number 9. Which also inextricably links card number 3 to card letter 3. Seeing how they share the same symbol. So at wall-value the two are interchangeable. It’s by layer that they differentiate. The interchangeability. Still there, weaker because it’s been diluted. This created 3 separate images but, two separate pathways.

The two three’s are also a single three squared. This number being nine. The midpoint obviously six. Perhaps that why six is an image of lovers. And the letter H. With its similarity to sex. Vowels aren’t counted in tarot. There is no card letter Ii or Ee. Its just SX. Card letter S is the devil. And card letter X is another image of boy meets girl. Or Crowley’s. Rim job. Though also taken with freedom, innocence and exuberance. This is not something taught.

I dint like this feeling? Is it going to go away? And stop calling me jack sparrow. I dont have a compass. Fuck off. The only thing im learning in life is the conditioning tgat degenrates entire populaces. Understanding how it works. And why it works.

Russia invades canda. Im joining their side. And ill sell ouy every mother fucker i know. Well i should say father fucker. Because we need political correctness after all.

Curse words do curse. you are what you speak. Ну, is this course it’s written. The written word is interresting compare to the spoken word. In this instance,

It’s negation to the male figure. Mother, fTher. Odd type O. Turns of phrases make a whole lot more sense. When the symbol what represents the letter carries with it a wonder. At the arrangement. What’s it mean?

Odd. Type. O. Is such a phrase.

….i’m not that high, . Why^

I created love again. It’s out there. A single unity. My effects are powerful. Always were. There’s strength there. Not much of a life. It will grow. Never lasting. On the letter N, here, suits the french strength. As in no is a fundamental word. If i were to create its own separate card. The Гг asian dragon. Will glide a-coiled the empress. For in all affect it is taught to treat with dignity.

https://youtube.com/shorts/eAXGSMARcCk?si=EBmC-QXZiZ9EatnM

But not that i’ve been forced and raped into a queer. I better get hooked up with a guy or two. Cause sex is all i care about now nothing else matters. Im just here to be fucked. Born and bred to be a subordinate punished every moment i stepped out of line to talk with a girl. And all i got to do is take these pills once an evening. For two days everyother couple of days. And ill take a massive shit that will completely empty my bowels and keep me loose. And they’ll weaken my muscles. So i wont be as strong. And people can continue laughing at me, and doing cruel things to me. Its been that way since childhood. Im used to it. My enyire existance has been nothing but people fuckein with me. Somce my forst memories. I even got eiple making fun of me if i stand up straight instead of slouching.

I live in a gay abusive idiocracy and i dont want ot be alive anymore. .

Hey its labour day. Eveything is closed except for the poison dispensaries. Evil never sleeps. You may always have the opertunity to

Smoke amd get drunk. I have no will to live my life anymorw. Choice is removed. At a certain length. Of all the years of set ups and negative relations. Druggings, manipulations, and conditioning. Does t really make it a free will choice. While no one tells you, all play to ulterior motives. Not letting you in on them. And half of them are sexists fucktards. Laughing at you. But you cry a bitch if it was turned on them.

Its pure queer for me. There’s no bi, there’s no gay. Its just queer. May as well have tits and a vagina. But, i have a masculine athletic build and the “persona” to match. Always paired to some “superior force” outside of me in the form of another person or an entire community. Bedroom with a spychotic abusive older brother from where ive been beaten on for being beaten on.

A magical golden aura toyroom. Al it takes to reach the bottem is being puched down them so you can roll like a ball and hit the wall at the bottem. That right there. Is all you need to know about me. Because thats all its ever been.

Ill start training myself how to be queer. Start watching japenese anime. Well until rhis shit wears off and i can go back to being me again.

I want to be in the abisive side of life. And rape people into suicide. Then i could feel like im

Part of the comunity. Makinng life a better place for everybody. Maybe i could turn a bunch of eomen into lesbians with my toxic feminity. Then they be willing to fuck me with their metaphorical dick. They already done a miraculous power at degenerating society into based driven pervets.

But society does run off, have its language basis from slavery. Generations of enslavement unti the people developed their own identity and form of communication based of submissive habits.

All these years of conditioning and manipulations to turn me into a queer. All those years list on the defendive insread of growing and learning hhow and building a life for myself. All thet development lost to other people. Obsessed with me.

Maybe go yo the gym. Start working out. See a teainer. See if they can help with certain joints and tissue. Doing posuture and diaphragm exorcizes. And some degen fuck tard was talkign smack behind my back. Like i dont have that extra sense. Not to know. Because i was standing up tall. And my chest wasnt as sunken.

Made fun of and picked on for showing masculine. Get fag bashed and heyerobashed by everyone. Byt thats just me for being born. Get manhaddled and shipeed around like im not a person. Always ben a product of other people projections. And most of them. The majority of it all is negative. And people actually rhink that if they keep their thoughts in their head. No one can hear them. Or that their actually good actors. Cause they suck. And should watch more tv.

Its easy alot of the time to tell if someone is being themselves are not. Aadly to say most of the gay people ive been i troduced to. Are all aliens in their own skin. Cause they live a lie. There a taint looming over them. Passing through them. And its revolting. Because they are not. Save for society and all the conditioning and pressures and the sexualization of symbols. And it mKes me feel bad. Pity. Speaking of which then you have the fully emasculate with the bestie girlfriend filling there intents and motivations with friendly feminine support agaist their own better judgement. Some of these guys are brilliant. Caught listening to the dark externalized feminine sins. Affecting the morality or ethicallity of theire decisions.

I was gaming with such a couple. And he was all like. But i shouldn’t cause it’ll be intrusive or etropic to them. Meanign the girl is like. No, nonits alright. They don’t mind. And i was like. Ih yeah i do. He’s right. Amd your an idiot. And then they mive on away from the friend and the nagotive feminine. Addopt the best of it. Find a dmoninate male and have mind blowing anal sex for the rest of their days. One less good man making the world a better place.

But good job getting my mother into it. Now when ever i see her abusive ugly face,i’ll go watch a family oriented film or something. With a good mother “archetype” and good family values. To help save on the degeneracy of my constant conditioning. She always wanted a girl. No she has one. She should leave me the fuck alone. Too busy living in her fantasy land and her memories to pay any attention to her children. Whoch is what she should hav ebeen doing instead of being present but absent. Or beating on me or throwing a bipolar double fire fit everytime if it involved my person.

Now excuse me in my fantasies of the ideal mother and family while being raped into suicide. And repress the hatred to bury everysingle One of you with out conscience or mercy. Which also means the absnece of cruelty. Whoch is a sing of dovinity in this world.

Purge the fucken demon.

An impossible task in hell.

Fuck love. Born again.

Though i do wonder if the next step, if this one doesnt work. Is to kidnap and rape me everyday until i like it.

Meh, ive came further.

Everytime ive jerked off, which is alot, i hit the wall on the other side of the room.

Damned, that ass. You guys are luvky get to stair at that all day. If it were me. Id take iher in the back every 5 mins and pump her full of baby girls thta look just like her. And the world would be a better place for.

But i aint 8 years ild anymore. Dont have the drive like i used to.

Thats not good hash thats bad hash. But ill smoke it anyway. Maybe it’ll turn me into a queer agajn for a fee hours. Its harsh, burns black and tastes and smells like a dollar street dealer. Ive smoked enough laced weeed in my days. Some

Of the shit they put in it. I som’t even want to know. When you take a small little puff and blackout. You know its good shit. Maybe itll make me unstable and ill get raped again.

I need to kill myself.

Wonder who my boyfriend is gonna be. Hope he’s like 6ft, exercises, hung and wealthy. If im gonna be a bitch than i want to be well off. And not need to work. And do art and study cards game and stuff instead I won’t have to deal with anyone and i wont have to deal with everything on my own. It just be me and him. And anyone else he decided to bring. Cus id be open to that. You take care of all the life stuff because im eas never allowed to learn how to live. An dill take care of the hime stuff. Id hate the world too much to leave the house anyway. As ling as i get my ass fucked into a spasm seizure fit unable to even moan. Because all that matters in life is pleasure. People dont need to feel

Like thye beling anywere and its not like they need people to be able to

Have healthy lives. If all that can be replaced by a dick. Then who am i to argue. I was born to be owned anyway. Always at the mercy of other people and how i get treated. I was never ment to feel human.not like i have a single social connection that doesnt play me this way. All

People have ever dome is fick eoth me. And i dont eant to be alive anymore. 40’urars later i still don’t know what it is to trust somebody.

Ugh. It wore off. I still got some more.

I need a new job. G luvk fimding one. Meet a new group to fuck with me.

So hurry up and send me a guy so i can blow him in my appartment and get it recorded on video for everyone. I have enough experience of it that it destroyed my life. So lets go back and satisfy everyones evil over me. And then you can all smile and laugh and feel superior to me. It’s all ive ever known anyway.

When i asked her for her number, even though, i kmow, after like the 6th time or so being friendly. Ahe started spazzing out. Looking for an excuse but couldnt settle on ine and/or form one on the spot. “Yeah, i can see your uncomfortable. Ya,” walk away.

Too bad they manipulated my physiology into be queer now. The only thing i have to do is unravel all the bs. Oh that what, this that. Its terribly depressing. Im going to go play with my ass now. It kinda feels like massaging your esophagus with a dick. Nothing worth wild. Maybe hurt to swallow for a while.

Well its virgo season so its all about the moon. Some crazy ass far off unavailable, violent and severe moon up in with the fishes of peace and space vibes. If their not a fucken spychopath.

Mothe rplayed with my ass one day. Too focused on my bowels movements then what i was actually doing. Heres a little enema go take a shit. No, no dont force. Let it come out naturally. Like a fountain or some shit. If there wasnt soap going into my mouth, she was popping my pimples. The cakes were good though. Thats pretty much it. But i can go on at quite a length with this. Formulated it all together over thr last few years. I want to beleive that that is the reason why i got raped but, its not. Theres plenty before. Dtop talking jow. Ok. Theres been nothing to hold on to for iver 25 years. Just in the ocean. Being beaten wvery where i go. All these years. Fucken sadistic fucken cocksuckers man.

I glad ive never been able to hold that kind of mentality. Its alien to me. Its way done there pilled all inder less relevant stuff. See? Did i puzzle you? Exactly. Its puzzling. ….” I cry, when angels deserve to die.” Wake up, grab a little makeup….

I hate that words matter. Sentimentality. Spit on it some more. All i do is breed evil. And feed the ines who already are. Its always been that way. Thats just life. Great, your life advice is to shot myself. Fantatic mom. And no i got a while army of women just like you. I dont need you no more.

They all play pretend, they all far away, off in there own little grand worlds of the known, and none of them talk to me either. And they usually have some pre planned thing and nothing is ever organic. No spontaneity, no life. Staring at me at a distince making decisions for my life for me. And, deflect everything. I just font’t know if they own up to it.

My little puppets. Its my power i own it. , never got the what to lead up to this point till now. Tried, failed, fucked with. Doesnt lead much place for development. Always on the defensive on the will. To exorsize evil over being like hey man. Ehats up? Nope. How can i help. Youd figure after all theose hundreds of people. One would. Nope.

I’s hate to say this but, you all suck.

The minute associations from growing up in this retard culture. Interconnectivity. Flow by aspciation. Rippling through your brain. I dont even need to say it cause you already know. Most people say “meh” coincidence or unimportant. Because its dcares them.

I dont think im surviving much longer. Theres no point to life.

Wow, i learn from her. Thise fee short moments of social. Even though its all set up, the back and forth. Ive been a trying to get that for years. Like the feedback loop effect. Ive been deprived of that for so long. Im bately alive anymore.

But im just here to be beaten and manipulated into a belivenrent mess and then raped. Like thats why. Sure ok. Why not.

Ciga and weed. One word i agree with. By association. Pull it! Kill it! Burn!

Sucks to be a four leaf clover.

Go get ipl treatment done on my legs. Their getting patchy. Above the ankles. Ten treatments roughly. 2800$.

Well maybe with all this treatment their eorking over on me. Ill get to go back being a sexually immoral freak that has no bounderies and i can ruin some more lives. And my own while im at it. Ill be back to being a hairless child getting dicked again. While the men im forced to share my life with take pleasure in being superior to me. Oh well so much for the queer life. Somce i was a child. People have always taken pleasure from being over me. Thats just life. Too bad i fomt enjoy it. Id be the happiest person on the planet right now.

But i deserve it. Missing out on my childhood, losing my entire youth and being sexually manipulated in my prime. To never experience anything other than being at the mercy of other people. And never expwrience anything worth living for. 40 years and running. Wonder what a fenuine case of feeling loved feels like. I’ll never know.

Go order some dildos and wait on a guy to make a move on me. It’ll be a set up. Like always.

Throw an anger tantrum. Yell at some people. Boxes are shit, lifys ate shit. Saw is shit. Make a man cry. Igh. Your dad dies last year….(lucky) wow youe sad. You loved your dad. Dint ask for sympathy. Im incapable.

I wont get an inherentance any more than what theyve already goven me. If i do. All that money. Which is gonna be a handfull. Is probably going to. Charity. I dont accept money from strangers and assholes and rapist cocksuckers like he is.

Quit smiking for awhile see if this feeling in my ass ever goes away. If not. Months from now. Ill be ill prabably be a full receptive queer. Agaisnt my own better judgement. And everyone can celebrate.

Hopefully the old testemant is true and god destroys the anericas.

I want to move to russia. Wait till the war os over so i dont get shot by some ltgb rights rapist.

Funny about that while i was getting raped. Was thr forest fires. Worst in years. Hells a burning.

Too bad i don’t enjoy sex at all.

And all the hedonists. Are all oike what?! I dont understand. You cant bot like sex.

With this ass rot desease theyve given me. Ill probably kiss out on old age too.

I dont know how not to be addicted to something.

I scared myself straight. Cant bypass the life preservation with out killing yourself.

I want to turn as many women as i can jbto lesbians. Just to price how sexy of a woman i am.

Dont think im sleepinvvyo ight the ass is too severe. No work. No money. Want to quit anyway. Wont fine another one. Another countdown till i kill myself.

Not putting in any more effort to do a good job thats for fucken sure.

Course i will i dont knwo how not to try and make life better for everybody. It that ive ever experience it before. Give what you get. Has bever once rung true for me.

I always get ten times worse at everything. Could save your life wounldt mayter.

Im nit even allowed to use health care services or see a shrink without being fucked with. There goes that idea.

They want me to be sick so they can continue torturing me for as ling as they can.

Theres no flames to light and keep in anyones hearts. And none in serrounded to thar im willing to.

I cant even be mysellf in my own appartment by myself

Im gonna have to kill myself to prevent everyone from raping my existance. There nothing quite like vbwing framed inti something your not and raped into suicide. Excuse i have to go to work now. Need to to be fucked with some

More.

I have the entire fucken twonships. Hahhahah fucken raping my life hahhab

I need to

Go

Puke soem more.

Hard being s lesbian in a womans world.

My feet are balding my legs are balding my assis balding and the small of my back. Ehats next? Tits and a fat ass. Man, id look skward with tots my shoulders are too broad.

Womanhood aucks. I feel bad for you. Well not really cuz its worst for me than it would ever be possible for you. Chucks. Buch of pussies.

Because ive always been with nature. In nature. Serrounded. One side. Ivr never been fully present. Half of me is here. There other half over there. Ling bouts of solitude paired to toxic personalities. And silence. Nothing means peace. Nowhere means freedom. Just lacking that part to other people. Cuz they’ve always been all the above. Its never stoped. Always there. Always attcked, or persecuted. Singled out, and smalled.

All these years in this inhavent learnt a thing.

And the world is nothing but faget this and faget that. And expectant sadist pleasure with knowing eyes, and curled lips. Year after year.

Father, strangers, others already awuianted to. Social worker, shrink, dentist. Job job. Job. Job.

Alright my god. Show me what next. Pls. The smokes are gone. Give me grace. Like you have. Give me a wonder. Like you have. Brush my skin with wind and my lips with honey.

Yup. Making sure the dentist appoitmment is done by a super pretty girl on really negative venus mars aspects. Still being manipulated into being a queer. All they do is arrange for me to have negative relations with the oppostire sex.

Noy going to the dentist in the 17th. Cant have it on a day of my chossing. Uh?

Anal sucks. Its gross, its smelly, harzardous, and no happy ending. Here come madsage my earloob eith a Q-tip. Itll be mindblowing. An dim a little confused by whomever personalize this general horascipe app of mine. No passion, no fate, no romance. During a transiting mars square venus aspects. With a moon/saturn conjunction in connunction to natal moon. During a lunar eclipse while. Moving away from a sun trine mars to a sun sextile saturn. Not like i understand astrology at all and neither can i study it. Cause my life isnt my own. And it makes it super convinent form oytside forces to manipulate tour life with.

At work to tries pairing me eith an obnoxious buttlover. And a sissy princess. And a foreign indian who has lost his daddy and is still emotionally vulnerable about it. Im a woman remember im incapable of compassion or sympathy. Because women arent like that. And their even more terrible at pretending like they are then men are. They have lies, deceit, drugs and makeup. Theres nothign real about them. Theres no person behind the mask.

Maybe im just not aueer enough yet. Maybe i need to be brought ot the brink of suicide again. Or maybe i need another hormanal injection so i can fantasize about sucking off menopausal women.

Guess ill never know companionship. Be alone forever. Fighting the erge to kill myself. Peobably wont be around mucj longer. All life has ever sone is fuck me anyway. Therws nothing in it gor me.

Anf there probably somethign else excessivly cruel in store for me.

Hahhaha 40 straight fucken years. Hahha. And everyone thinks its fuckne funny. Maybe if i was as eetard as they are id thinknit be funny too.

She thinks im a badass. Being in the right fighting to entire ficken palbet by myself.

Messing with tbe hormones. Probably did the same when i was a child.

[solardashpraxus]

🎁, 💛, and 🔫 for the person ask game :D

PROXY HIIII MY BEST FRIEND PROXY THANK UOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3 kisses u thank you for doing this. cue “oh good i get to explain this to you. you will regret it” image :3 hold on to your hat it’s gonna be a wild ride

🔫 favorite S.E.E.S member?

oooh this one is hard! i’m not that far into persona 3 (reload) so i haven’t met them all yet but i’ve got a pretty good idea of what they’re all like.

ok i think i have to give 2 cop-out answers first: the protagonist (like yeah he’s literally there for the audience to project on but. ohohoho) and koromaru (has not actually joined the team yet but. he’s ouppy dog. the goodest of boys!)

OK now for real answer time: i’d have to say junpei? again im not super far into the game but despite his personality being… kinda annoying and sexist, he’s also just such a cheery and fun guy that i can’t help but be endeared to him! and i hear he goes through some big character growth later on. apparently he’s kinda like sokka? a big part of it is his voice actor too, zeno robinson did fucking amazing. also i haven’t gotten that far yet but i think im gonna really like ken when he shows up 👍

🎁 favorite character?

GRRRRRGH ok so. i could go on another huge spiel about which characters could claim this spot and why but. man there’s no contest. TATSUYA SUOU LETS GOOOOO YEAHHH TATSUYA FUCK YEAH TATSUYAAAAA!!!!!! WIN FOR MOTORCYCLE BISEXUALS VROOM VROOOOOOOM!!!!! (and also the suffering ^_^)

💛 favorite dynamic(s)?

hhhhhrhgk asking some hard questions here. this will be very long you have been warned. okkkk. ok so. starting off simple with joker and ryuji they’re just. so silly man. they’re just buds having a good time! and they’re just goofing off and hanging out but they care so much about each other and it just creates this sense of. light and warmth and joy and respite from the world around them. i think that “you make me feel free” goes both ways. and that’s not even talking about what happens with them in canon!!! god i love ryuji so much.

anyway for the next one we have to take a trip into my beautiful mind (aka I Am Just Making Shit Up)… ok imagine with me: joker is aromantic asexual but doesn’t know there’s terms/community for it yet. also he’s probably not cis but he doesn’t have time to think about that right now there’s ruin coming or whatever. and ann is a recently realized lesbian who’s coming to terms with how her experiences with sexual harassment + objectification affects her sexuality (and she’s in love with shiho!!!) and they’re each others first person to come out to and they bond so hard over being queer in ways that especially defy japanese social and gender norms (being a lesbian in a society where young women are sexualized + objectified while also placing huge importance on traditional values, marriage by a certain age, having children + starting a family 🤝 being aroace in a society where men are expected to sexualize women, be dominant + increasingly to gain a sense of power/masculinity in their sexual prowess [Belarmino, Melanie and Roberts, Melinda R. (2019). Japanese Gender Role Expectations and Attitudes: A Qualitative Analysis of Gender Inequality. Journal of International Women' s Studies, 20(7), 272-288.] sorry bout the citation i wanted to get my facts right) (also like, atlus come on. queer issues perfectly fit into the themes of persona 5 you’re just a fucking coward + homophobe) sorry abt the tangent ANYWAY they get just so much closer after that, as well as a lot more comfortable with casual platonic intimacy + physical affection cause they both know they can be safe + not have their actions misconstrued by the other. tbh i could see them being in a qpr? there like. gay best friends in a way that doesn’t put emphasis on stereotypes cause they just hang out and genuinely have so much fun eating crepes and trying on outfits and talking shit abt ann’s coworkers lol. they would have the best sleepovers.

ohhohoh and im not even done! ok so i haven’t gotten that far into persona 2 innocent sin cause i got softlocked 13 hours in somehow + now i have to restart BUT i know things, and hooooo boy tatsuya and jun lemme tell you. shuake fans eat your heart out cause tatsujun was doing it better back in 1999. like i haven’t read a lot of in depth analyses cause im trying not to get even more spoiled than i already have been but. the entire basis of innocent sin’s story starts with their relationship… and thinking about everything jun goes through and then what happened in eternal punishment… GOD they’ve got me so fucked up. head in hands. everyone play persona 2 please.

[1d1195]

WHY IS HE LIKE THAT OMG THAT IS TORTURE😭 A girl can only have so much patience! Yes! That line about the Faks was everything! So subtle yet so perfect! Truly did not expect them to go to the hospital like that but it’s so them lol

Men are whiny! But yeah essentially i know what you mean lol 

I'm SO glad meeting up with your high school friend went well! And I hope the one you met up with Monday night went just as well!! Of course I will be sending the best vibes for you bestie when you're with your family because we all know family stuff is so 😭 BUT YES GET THOSE DEALS!! And I think Target has a 20% thing for teachers and students for this week! Is there any book(s) you're excited to read?

We saw the movie “I USed To Be Funny” and “Sam” was the main character so she wasn’t 100% perfect BUT it really makes sense for the plot! It’s not an easy watch since it deals with sensitive topics but it’s not horrible lol Overall she wasn’t a horrible character lol I can only imagine having such shit representation of Sam/Samantha’s! It must be so tiring lol I cannot lie I have disliked Sam/Samanth’s in shows before and irl lol Like I love trash reality tv so Jersey Shore is one of my faves and there's a girl named Sam on there and ngl Im a hater lol

Anyways!! MOST PART TWO OMG SAM 😭 I was so hoping( me being delusional) that they would make up before they started college but alas I was wrong lol But once again I LOVE it for the plot! Idk where to start bestie because it was so good! I loved how long it was and it truly did NOT feel like it was too much! Loved getting to know some backstory for both of their characters! Knowing how both of them were so SAD and hollow without each other was just so hard to read only because it’s just so heartbreaking to see two soul mates being apart 😭 Especially that part with the two little kids like you were breaking ME! But them both saying that they are TAKEN?!😭 hello?!? Now that is so heartbreaking but kinda heartwarming at the same since they truly own each other's hearts😭 also loved that the MC has Addie! She truly needed her! And Carter is so sweet omg! But now…. dare I say I was so annoyed that yet again Lauren was even remotely near harry! And my man is seriously going out his way to see her?! Like i know he’s reaching because he wants to somewhat be close with the MC BUT IF HE ONLY KNEW THAT LAUREN PLANTED THAT EVIL SEED😭I truly wonder if he ever will find out lol BUT OMG I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHY IS HE BACK IN TOWN??? HOW DOES SHE FEEL SEEING HARRY AGAIN??! Many questions lol but you did so amazing Sam! It was so perfect! 

Sending all the love Sam! Hope the week is going so smoothly! Love you lots!-💜

Okay side note i forgot to mention that piece jump… bestie your mind is just amazing! Truly like that alone could is already so GOOD literal chills!!

----

I saw a post that said having a bf is like having a dumb son 💀 I'm just going to leave that there to resonate with everyone 😭 WE FINISHED THE SEASON THOUGH 🎉 I'm def not a S3 fan but I get what they were trying to do. It was a cool season but I feel like overall the pieces didn't perfectly fit together like in a overarching storyline. My bf and I discussed how many seasons we think it's going to be. I'm very much a proponent of don't ruin a show by doing more just because so I'm hoping that tbh it should only be 4. I think that would wrap up things nicely. But he thinks it'll be 5 (which I COULD let slide) or even 6 (which honestly I'll riot). I can't watch Carmy be a dumbass for three more seasons. So intriguing either way though. Very curious to see where it leads!

I had a great time with my friend on Monday as well! Still lowkey dreading the family stuff but trying to be positive. Gotta pack for a long weekend to stay with them. i feel like i bring my whole wardrobe when I visit in the summer because the weather is so unpredictable and I sweat through 20 outfits a day.

YES Target Circle is there for teachers between now and Aug 24. So I have to fill up my cart strategically and figure out what I need. Which means I need to go to my classroom and set stuff up so I can see what I need.

BOOKS. Lord, like all 20 I keep buying. I just got Kate Quinn's new novel. I'm fairly certain I've mentioned her 1000 times on here so I'm VERY excited to dive in on that. I also have The Lioness of Boston and tbh no idea what it's about but I'm a big fan of Boston. I was actually just thinking I have to update the book rec list I have because I thought of like three more books that I LOVED so much but I've let others borrowed them and I haven't gotten them back to look at on my shelf so I FORGOT completely. But I'm also looking to read this never ending pile I've accumulated. Even though I'm doing much better than I was at the beginning of the month I can't really get my brain to read still. But I'm supplementing by binging TV and writing hehehe

Hmm! I will probs give it a watch when it comes out on a streaming service hehehe. In def piqued my interest! Sammi on the Jersey Shore was throughout the first couple years of when I was in high school so it wasn't enjoyable 😭

Sad and hollow is a great way to describe them! I might steal that! Very glad it didn't feel too long! Like it wasn't dragging. I feel like sometimes i just add stuff that pops into my head and I never know if it's really going to enhance what I'm getting at (my bf reminded me of that for chapters in the personal writing workshop he's been giving me that there is no such thing as filler chapters 🙄) But anyway! You know I love to write about little kids and thought it would be a fun little analogy hehehe She did need Addie! And Carter! I almost didn't give her anybody and was just going to make her alone AF. But I changed my mind, I wanted her to have somebody. Harry's got a whole team with their friend group so she needed someone! Everyone who's been reading HATES Lauren so you're not alone. I just like to be dramatic. I hope he figures out she's a bitch 😅👀 Very glad you liked the Jump part too! I was a bit nervous about it being extra or whatever so I'm glad it was nice 😅😅

I think part 3 will answer all your questions! 💕😉 thank you so much for reading as always 💕 Hope you have a great rest of your week and a fun weekend planned!

xoxo

[selamat-linting]

i just remember a really funny story. so i was unemployed and recently turned 20 years old. and there's this job ad for a cashier at a karaoke bar. i was invited for an interview. when i got there, there was around 20-30 people. one of the managers came, and separate the men and women into different groups. i wasnt out at the time, so i was with the girls. we were lead into another room in the back, and we all sat down in this big table. and she told us about the dangers of working there.

turns out we're not just cashiers, we're going to be nightclub hostesses. our job is to pour drinks, entertain guests, and make them spend as much money as possible. she said, if you agree to this, expect men to flirt, grope, and sexually harrass you everyday. and she allows everyone who couldn't handle that to leave. i was one of the few who stayed. honestly, i do mind that i had to basically whore myself out for strangers, but i was really desperate for a job, and the part of me who enjoy sexual attention already exists even though it was very repressed at the time.

after we saw more than half of the girls leave, the lady went on for another warning, we have to drink. we have to be able to take endless drinks from our customers without getting too fucked up. that my last straw somehow. i was like, "no!!! i can enjoy being a slut but i dont like tequila!" so of course, i excused myself and leave.

at the time i was disappointed that its yet another failed attempt at getting a job, but honestly its pretty funny when i think about it. like, you can excuse unwanted sexual advances but you draw the line at alcoholism? girl fix your priorities.

tbf i think 20yo me's reasoning was that he had experience hiding that she got SA'd as a preteen so its easier to hide any rape attempts than hiding a hangover or booze breath since my mom is very familiar with it courtesy of my dad, (which is really sad if i dwell on it for too long) but still. im going to take my imaginary straightedge award for staying true to the drug free life even if it costs me a chance to get a job (please ignore that i didnt know what straightedge was two years ago lmaoo)

[mosviqu]

loved ur thoughts on it and i'm yet again glad to know that 2 out of 3 of our fav songs match again and i'm so glad it's a 20/10 album for u as well

tbh i only remember matthew talking so i'm not going to be a help here sadly💀💀

ERIC NEEDS TO HAVE LONGER PARTS I LOVE MY MAN SUNWOO LOVE HIS RAPS LOVE HIS VOICE BUT ERIC DESERVES TO SHINE AS WELL HE ALWAYS GET SO LITTLE PARTS💔 and i'm glad we did talk more about sunwoo😇 atleast it was worth it cuz of actor jihoon ig but the fact that only the last episodes were good😭😭 AND YAYYY IM HAPOY TO HEAR THAT🥳🥳

TBH IT WOULD BE CRAZY IF WE WOULD ACTUALLY END UP MEETING UP but if u need any help while u guys are here i am available to help anytime🫡

THE CLUB ONES WERE SO FUNNY I REMEMBER HOW THE TAEHYUN ONE AND THEIRS WERE AROUND THE SAME TIME AND I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD AT THEM (i remember seeing someone say "can't believe they are dancers and they move like this" i lost my shit actually) AND SO TRUE GOOD FOR HIM LMAO and now that u say that i follow an intak stan on tiktok AND SHE HASNT TALKED MUCH ABOUT JIM LIKE SHE USED TO (she also doesn't really make tiktoks that much and took like half off but we don't talk about that)

I DID WATCH IT!!! BAR!!!! I CANNNNOTT PUT MY FEELINGS INTO WORDS I LITERALLY ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR AFTER I WATCHED IT FOR THE FIEST TIME I JUST COULDNT TAKE MY EYES OF OFF JIHOON IT WAS SO BAD HIS FIT AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM WAS😭🤭 THE SONG🤌🤌🤌 THE CHOREOGRAPHY 🤌🤌 (but i did. feel a bit weird when i looked at junghwan doing al that .-.) and ever since it came out it has been my motivation to learn i'm just like okay i'm gonna finish this part and watch it again🤭 i am just so not ready for them to perform this like ever shsndbfn (liebestraum anon🥸)

SEE our taste in music actually matches for the most part 😭

still thinking of eric in kiss me if you can....and eric in general..... (i watched their vid w the fo squad today and girl let me tell u i think i fell in love with him ☹ you know me so well goodbye) also i wont talk abt sunwoo anymore bc he is yours only and i wont be a bad friend in this situation /j (i finished the bbam bbam social club series. literally 8h of staring at tipsy sunwoo. what did u expect to happen). ERIC DOESNT GET MANY PARTS ???? HAVE U HEARD THE MAN??????????????? JUSTICE FOR MY MAN.

omg im...so down actually ??? even tho i am SO awkward irl istg i think id die of anxiety but it would be so fun i think 😭😭 i still dont have the tickets so. we'll see hhhhh

NO BECAUSE TAEHYUNS CLUB WAS TOO DRY ISTG THAY WAS THE WORST ONE 😭😭 my man has to come to slovak clubs fr i'll show him how its done 🙄🙄 but also THEY HAVE SO MANY HONGDAE CLUBS AND HE WENT TO THE DRIEST ONE ??? 😭😭 but w the dancing part like how do u expect him to dance at a club he isnt gonna bust out the good boy gone bad choreo 😭😭😭 i mean at least shake ass a little i understand but dont expect big things 😭😭 also SEE im the most active intak stan confirmed (dont look that up) i need him to be my golden retriever boyfriend he's so pookie

on the topic of T5 move. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. jihoon's fit...lives in my mind rent free. like we knew he had abs and we did see them before but why did the sight affect me so much this time 😭 also i didnt even look at junghwan that much 😳 maybe for the best to not feel weird AHAHA i mean he is an adult but the 2 year age difference is providing a mental block for me to not see him in that way LMAO. we are NOT ready for the mv OR the live performance im afraid. plan my funeral friends ☹☹

[bitchykelp]

I was thinking about how Fig, in Dimension 20, always says she’s hard to read and closed off despite constantly sharing with the other Bad Kids regularly. And as much as it is a a great bit, its also just so relatable??? I mean was talking this over with a friend of mine, the other day, and that feeling of thinking you’re closed off and hard to read despite constantly sharing?? And while we laughed it off, it was just this thing of shit yeah, I mean I can be quite open with that friend just cause they fit the mysterious checklist of vibes my brain requires to talk to people. But like i don’t know how well either of us actually know each other?? or let alone how well I know my other friends, or even how well my friends know me in actuality?? I felt distant from them so much this past year, and yet Ive made so many new ones who feel like they could be great, and reconnected with lost ones. but i know I’m gonna hit a plateau with them all. And its not even they’re fault. I mean its me, its my fault. I think i at one point got a little better at being open and stopped working on it, then idk at some point over the end of last year beginning of this one, I just stopped trying. But idk how to start even, like how can i know my friends when i don’t know myself? I’ve covered my mind and soul in mirrored walls so i could keep the danger out, and just copy the vibes around me, seeming okay in my people suit. I then go and make my friends try to break through the people suit chained in riddles, just to know me and my desires but at some point i lost those desires?? And i get annoyed when people don't want to break though even though everyone deals with so much in this world how can i expect someone to add more to their plate? And like i always talk about how lonely i am, and wish i had a partner of some romantic nature. but how do i look when i don't even know what i want or am looking for on the day to day basis let alone on a dating basis. I can share all day but i couldn't tell you a real damn thing about my hobbies or who i am. I know I’m me but my concept of me is such a fucking mysterious amorphous blob. Fuck I’ve buried my souls for so long i might as well be some soulless vampire, and i love to make jokes about how could and sexy that’d be but to be a vampire I’d need to love the chase, to be able to go after my desires, even if they’re all just unfulfilling and i immediately move onto the next. I mean that's the whole thing with vampires, they got no soul and now they’re big hot pits of emptiness just craving for some hint of real life for eternity. God im not even that im just some ghost, left to rot and haunt my spots, just lost. A friend said i could do better on my dating profile, and which yeah they were right i made it while i was high and for stupid reasons. and i want to do better on my profile and in so many ways but ask me a question about myself and i wont know how to answer it. I know nothing about myself and honestly i spend way too much time analyzing the flesh mound of my mind to have so little on it. But when all I’m staring into is a mirror meant to work on people who aren’t me. What to I do?