#and i dont even know how much thc is in it

[swagging-back-to]

so i hought a whole bunch of shit and still had enough for all my food, with some money left over

heres my new pipe. i have no idea what it's supposed to be. it's so ugly and weird. im thinking of naming it.... send in suggestions maybe?

it reminded me of those noodle worms and i was like absolutely that one LOL

[biblicalhorror]

Thinking about one of the loser men I dated directly post-college who, after I showed them Dirty Computer [the emotion picture] by Janelle Monae, said they "prefer rap that has something to say"

[weirdmageddon]

ok. let's finally talk about this thing i've been wanting to go public with for ages

so i am not a fan of needing THC to help me curb the embarrassment i have in being happy talking about my real realll special interests, because perceived rejection of my interests feels like rejection of myself since i put so much of myself (my time) into them. i anticipate rejection from others because the stuff i find myself occupied with is detached, abstract, highly technical, or niche, and i'm aware of the surrounding cultural assumptions. some of them, and the level at which i am in involved in understanding them, are really specialized or esoteric, so even opening up about them is like "fuuuck im gonna be made fun of or it’s gonna be too technical that they zone out and dont understand why this is so meaningful to me" ive even posted about that feeling before.

see if i start accumulating too much self-context made in my own mind without sharing it i start to feel more and more isolated from other people around me, that they’re not seeing the full extent of what im seeing myself. i don’t share it, because i fear rejection or superficial judgments in other people’s eyes (probably because it’s happened to me and i’ve seen it happen to others). but at the same time it has to be shared with more people around me or else i feel like i have an intestinal blockage in my mind. what happens is my mental colon explodes from all the shit accumulated over time and vou get a post like this. i’m sorry for that mental image btw. anyway back the point of this post

anything where i can systematize archetypes in real, everyday situations has always been my strong suit. so when people ask me my hobbies im like ... uhhh what am i supposed to say? i analyze stuff about the world and rotate it in my mind. when carl jung wrote there are “as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life” i know exactly what he was talking about.

i’ve been toeing the line to really talk about this thing for two years, so let me tell you about socionics. if you already know what im talking about i love you. if you don’t (or even if you do, keep reading there’s probably stuff you don’t know in here), it is part abstract cybernetic model, part jungian concepts, part philosophy of information exchange. it classifies how people communicate and exchange information. it was created in eastern europe in the late 70s, developed primarily in the 80s-90s by other authors and it’s been an endlessly fascinating, elegant, and reliable tool for me.

usually people dismiss personality typology systems because the mbti became so watered down and pop-culturally saturated that people seemed to collectively take a stance of not taking anyone that genuinely cares about it seriously, or at least that’s the impression i got.

(btw — i need to go on this brief rant — i will never forgive 16personalities for being the big five rebranded and people thinking it's mbti. 16personalities gives you your big five type. they explicitly state on their website that they don’t borrow any concepts from jung. -A and -T don’t exist in the mbti and correspond directly to low and high neuroticism respectively. i figured out myself they mapped each letter dichotomy to the other four measures on the big five: extraversion (I/E), conscientiousness (P/J), agreeableness (T/F), openness to experience (S/N). which is stupid and it’s false advertising. take 16p and a big five test see for yourself how they match up. your personal mbti type can be different from its correlated big five type. the actual mbti using jungian concepts as a base is alright though. oh, and the best neo-jungian mbti stuff is by far michael pierce’d takes on it. if you actually fw that heres a carrd i created a few years ago about the cognitive function axes.)

but i always end up going to the bottom of the iceberg in anything i get really into, and i basically integrate it into my own understanding of the world around me for a while. maybe it was because i had a bad experience genuinely talking about it a few years ago from some people who made superficial judgments about it that made me sort of quiet about my interest in typology systems. i assume it’s because myers and briggs used the tool towards racist ends; it acquired negative connotations, bullshit intuition supremacy, and left the study of psychological types tainted in the united states. even if the individual’s study of the system is neutral, unbiased, out of pure curiosity as a way to classify and relate different personality structures to each other, as was the case with me. in addition to 16personalities being an invalid “mbti” test that bought their way to the front page of google, and rampant superficial information at all levels of study, finding anyone who was into it like me was basically impossible. the reason i have a preferred interpretation of jungian + mbti concepts is because i’ve tried different ones on and sensed how well they conform to reality as a way of describing phenomenon, ditching old ones that werent as clear. michael pierce’s i’ve found are the closest to what i sense jung's intentions were. (actually quite likely this is something i would attribute to being because all three of us are types LIl (and also all infj too, how about that?) brain-to-brain communication LII (carl jung) to LII (michael pierce) to LII (me)). so i felt like michael pierce kept the things that worked in real life and ditched the things that didn’t, leaving behind his elegant integration of the concepts.

anyway, i was under the assumption that anything that could be mistaken for it—which socionics often is at a glance—would be dismissed out of hand, even though it’s entirely different. plus, there’s all the context i’d need to clarify about how “it’s different from the “fun” unserious pop-psych mbti and also absurdly more technical” and what's the point in doing that if they don't respect you enough to hear you out anyway? so it just made me closed off.

they share a common ancestor though. the concepts are still based on carl jung’s book ‘psychological types’ which is why there is some shallow overlap, but the scope, structure, and application of it is different. i feel like this system is a lot more “living” and relevant to real interactions and communication between people in our everyday lives. i am always seeing specific examples of these concepts in play in real life and in characters depicted in media. it’s also been more empirically studied and successfully implemented over in eastern europe, and has gone under constant development and contribution. while since the 50s, mbti had crystalized and become stagnant with diverging interpretations to the point where it’s become basically meaningless to try to talk about because nobody can agree on concepts or semantics; there are virtually no distinctions between “schools” or “models” to differentiate interpretations — (although i have my preference for what i think are the most meaningful and reasonable one; as i said, that goes to michael pierce.) eastern (not so much western) socionics is incredibly more well put-together than mbti or kiersey for squeezing the potential from jung’s original ideas, and goes much deeper. that said, i will ALWAYS advise self-studying typlogy concepts over taking a test. the algorithm of a test can never possibly know you and your individual biases in interpreting the meaning of the words better than the knowledge you just have about yourself. if you learn the theory underlying it you will actually learn about yourself and others and it will actually mean something to you instead of a being an empty decoration for your profile.

here is a comparison chart i translated into english so you can get some idea of where these systems actually differ.

Букалов, А. (2019). On the advantages of socionics over other post-Jungian typologies. Socionics, Mentology and Personality Psychology, (6), 5–7. Retrieved from https://publishing.socionic.info/index.php/socionics/article/view/2603

for me it’s been super insightful applied to real life. it is like a toolkit for interpreting why some people just rub me the wrong way and our communication feels disjointed. or why some people pass my vibe check to enter my personal inner circle and i feel like talking with them is easier and not an uphill battle. who i feel drawn to and want to get to know better. to deconstruct why i and other people interpret information in the world the way they do, and how that explains the kind of people i end up curating in my life. it has put into words the concepts i haven’t been able to find the words for beforehand, and thus enables me to retrospectively pinpoint exactly what unconsciously makes people feel more at ease or why communication is just easier with some and why it’s harder with others, regardless of any other factors. there are other factors of course, that are the result of unique circumstances—nurture, culture, and upbringing—and i of course account for those, it’s not as pertinent to me as the framework that provides the skeletal structure regardless of those individual variations that are simply already a given for me. that was actually the whole point of its creation.

the system gives me a common language to communicate these ideas with, at least to the few people i talk to who have learned it, but i can adapt the concepts in how they relate to specific circumstances and convey it to a lay audience. i’ve been doing just that to explain why, of the people who have been made aware of the hs rarepair john-aradia, i have seen no one object to it, and instead, everyone i saw found it intriguing the more they thought about it, even when they initally thought was “so random”. and i realized, “hey wait! i know how to explain that!”, but that's in another post i've been working on.

[i was actually originally writing this post in the middle of said aradia and john analysis but i felt like there was way too much i wanted to talk about as its own thing. i figured people are going to be reading that post for john-aradia explanation, not public updates about my mind. i just didn’t want to rewrite this to account for the context because the point i made was still relevant]:

but now i’m thinking okay… i’m talking to a bunch of homestucks. why am i prostrating myself here? why am i so defensive? they’re probably creaming their pants at the idea of another symmetrically divisible system of classification to get their hands on. homestuck itself is founded upon a bunch of ideas with symmetrical divisions and classifications (divisible products of 2). aspect dichotomies, quadrants, cards, black-white, yin/yang and literally countless other abstract systems. if there is a common word to refer to these sorts of things, please let me know.

but in socionics terms, all of this sort of stuff i’m refering to would be within the domain of extraverted/black intuition (Ne) information, and classifying or positioning someone within those frameworks would be introverted/white logic (Ti). you can read more about these “elements” here. homestuck has familiarized you with notionally irreducible aspects present in everything, dual yin/yang forces permeating everything, so if you understand all of the sorts of abstract classification systems in homestuck you’re basically already 75% the way to fundamentally grasping model A socionics. it is way more structured and stable than the typologies in homestuck though. but you will perceive there to be similarities in the need for archetypal/thematic sense skills.

if you want to learn socionics, for the love of god start here. there are many weak places out there to start out with that will set you up with a faulty and loose understanding, but school of classic socionics is the best foundation to start with. i saw it emerge from the beginning when it was founded, having been part of it since late 2022.

this is an introduction to SCS, what makes it special, and and how differs from other socionics schools. i find SCS to be the most comprehensive, and i’m active within a side discord to discuss theoretical constructs related to model A. i’ve helped find the links between some concepts in model A that weren’t fully substantiated in augusta’s original works, specifically the importance of the asking/declaring reinin dichotomy, how it fits with regard to the rest of model A’s structure, how it underpins the ring of social benefit (which was missing from her writing), and how it can be used as an information element charge just like positivist/negativist can (i.e. all process types have positive asking Ne (+Ne? and all result types have negative declaring Ne (-Ne!). i’m still working on transfering my essay on that to a document.)

i know the intricacies of this system like the back of my hand but yeah i never post much about it because it’s so niche and i dont know who would even want to hear it besides people who i already know would, like in that small specialist group, but they actually been quiet lately even though i’m still active in there sharing things i realized. and i even feel alienated in most casual socionics discussion groups, especially larger ones. i need people who can match my freak about it.

because i have nowhere else to talk about it i’m starting to feel guilty yapping my friends’ ears off about it when i deconstruct everything i come across in light of this system like i’m being annoying about it. but at the same time when im doing that i am constantly reinforcing the merit of the system in successfully finding some dynamic i see in the drama of real life in connection to some idea from the model. i can immediately lock on to the core principles that are at play in any situation, validating the patterns that have been observed by others. by what measure do these people / characters / groups relate to each other, how do we define the specific “feeling” of the energy between them together? i could do a socionical analysis for anything that captures my interest.

it’s also been incredible for self-insight. i can now accurately explain my thought process.

i can change my perspective of the scope of my thinking on different levels. depending on the urgency of a situation developing around me and my respect for other people’s time, i can expand my reasoning from splitting hairs at the smallest pedantic specifics—although i prefer not to, to the most holistic global hard binary 0/1 (no/yes) judgment.

it’s fractal-like; once i know how to classify and compare the features of something to another, everything else with overlapping logical relationships instantly rises up in the same way, which of course is what leads to me having insights that reinforce the potential inherent in the things around me, because my way of thinking is isomorphic. i also experience strong animated mental imagery accompanying my conscious thoughts about these systems, minimalist shapes or lines of the barebones motion happening. i feel like my mental activity and what i actually write down is trying to capture what im seeing in my head.

i prefer to be brief, but that requires sharing contexts with someone. once i've established similar ways of talking about the same thing with someone so that we’re on the same page, our messages basically become exchanging code words with each other. all of the potential densely packed into these efficient little terms.

the effect is that i am reducing the amount of time and energy i have to spend trying to explain things to someone. i just want to communicate easily and be understood by the people i talk to so that i can enjoy my time with them. this is why i felt like such a long, clarifying, in-depth post was necessary, which would rip the bandaid off and pull it all up at once, instead of on a private, individual-to-individual level. i had to have it engraved somewhere i could just point someone to instead of repeatedly having to explain the same thing over and over cause that’s a waste of time and energy.

in fact, that revelation i had about myself just now can be explained by model A too! my own type is LIl and this type’s id block houses the information elements +Te! → +Ni?, which aushra describes as “The quality of deeds and actions and the efficient expenditure of energy in work—only performing for what is truly necessary—leads to peace of mind in the future.”

or, for example, coming at it from another angle, here is an older post i made before i was even aware of socionics. i was already talking about my experiences, patterns of thinking and self-awareness in a way that was so on the nose for a socionics analysis.

is that not the clearest example of phase 2’s sensitivity (for me it is information about sensorics)? -Fi? → -Se! superego block, anyone? and did you see how much i gave attention to the time i spend working; +Te! -> +Ni? id block? [information element descriptions here]. you could also derive the progression of the information metabolism stages in my own psyche (phase 1: Ethics -> phase 2: Sensorics -> phase 3: Logic -> phase 4: Intuition).

(from The Characteristic of SLI)

so through socionics it’s like i can find an explanation for just about everything i observe in others and myself just because i’ve extrapolated the logical relationships from that system and can isomorphically apply them to anything.

and i don't say that lightly! i'm not saying anything in this post lightly. like i have a degree in biopsychology from an honors college (ncf; yes, the liberal arts college desantis got his soulless hands on because it was “too woke"). having taken courses in statistics, research methods in psychology, and others, i know all about proper research design (and designing them myself). and of course i ended my four years there with my undergrad thesis, examining temporoparietal synchrony in autistic individuals when working alone and together, where for months on end i was doing nothing but reading and interpreting the validity of research papers. i even deconstructed poorly designed psychological constructs commonly used in autistic research in mine.

i also took personality psychology as a course during my time there. i got a birds eye view of most of the popular paradigms and still felt like i was more knowledgeable in the discourse behind some of the topics we glossed over since the course material was more of a broad comprehensive thing than an in-depth one for anything specific. in totality, all of the models i read about in relation to each other seemed so fragmented into different cuts and perspectives in trying to understand and find the patterns in people’s mental life. and yet none of the models i read about hold as as great of an everyday explanatory power as socionics does for explaining ways of thinking, people's proneness to certain tendencies, and the energetic tension that happens between certain people.

people can say otherwise that it’s pseudoscience. even though there are numerous studies built on real-world observations, the large-scale statistical data like from victor talanov. there's school of system socionics who emphasize its practice. it would be impossible to add all the evidence i can to support my claims to this post but you can see for youself - there are still countless new articles being published from different authors. regardless of that, even if it isn't accepted within the rigors of “scientific canon” i really dont give a fuck since it absolutely does indeed have explanatory and predictive power, and that’s all i care about. i’m confident in this not only through firsthand experience, the ability to frame what i know to be true about the real world within it and have it successfully describe those things, as well as talking to other people about my observations.

additionally, i see people make conclusions about interpersonal dynamics where they unknowingly repeat information that can be derived from socionics concepts.

something i noticed a LOT and ive repeatedly thought about and come to the same conclusion multiple times is that i think i naturally might "embody" the most optimal ways of interacting with other people for myself. it gives me insight into the nature of the personal relationships that i already procure in my life, but it’s not really a self-fulfilling prophecy because i dont use socionics to prescribe who i "should" be friends with. that's silly. thats a silly thing to do because people do have idiosyncracies that don't perfectly align with a system if you rigidly adhere to it, so you're bound to be set up for failure if you try to force that and you will be disappointed. it's better to let these feelings happen naturally without pretense, because that's where the observations that fuel my insight comes from.

i have a subconscious sense for who i will be able to get along with in the long term almost instantly without the need for any kind of system, just based on their actual mannerisms and “vibes”, but that alone is not good enough for me, i want to know why. socionics just gives me tools to figure out why so that i know what im dealing with and its not just ineffable energies, but i can put a name to those energies to think and talk about it and compare and discover patterns in what ive curated in my inner circle over my life, what i feel drawn towards. and indeed i do find plentiful amounts of recurring patterns. the simplification and abstraction is not to destroy the soul and expression of individuals but to wrap my head around them and understand them deeper in relation to everything else, including myself.

i am aware it can be confusing for many people which turns them away. but if theres any questions you have or youre confused about any concepts i can answer them

but yeah um, i’ve really only scratched the surface of this cognitive cybernetic tool. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say and want me to talk more about it please openly tell me since i’m not a mind reader! i assume disinterest by default.

anyway if you got to this point thanks for reading. i wanted to just put it out there for context about any posts i make in the future. just stating my honest thoughts and whats been occupying my mind for the past two years.

be on the lookout for the john and aradia analysis soon where i’ll use it in practice to deconstruct some things about those characters. and if you’re coming to this post from that analysis after ive posted it, i’m sorry this post is so long in the middle of an already long-ish post. i just thought the context was important.

[yokakaiju]

i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed

justifications under cut

so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together

also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs

okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism

haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it

13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman

ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that

ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh

aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)

noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you

asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)

chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh

OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm

poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3

natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit

vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk

kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3

tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk

ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him

i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."

ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all

fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh

now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)

again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect

ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is

again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG

now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan

kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright

wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful

en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf

genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed

now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass

fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent

curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho

oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS

kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is

store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Quitting Weed Day 9 Status Report 📝

to start off , i'll say, i do indeed feel like Ass ! this post might get a tad emo. regretting my life choices to smoke for as long as i have 😕 But then again, maybe that's harsh, cus i was just doing the best i could with the circumstances i been dealt in the past.

i couldnt just quit cold turkey cus every time i try that its way too intense and i alwaus end up going back. So the past 9 days i've been hitting my (extremely weak) weed cart a couple times a night, only after 9pm, just to help me sleep. Before that i was smoking probly like. 5-8 bowls a day, followed by hitting the weed pen RELENTLESSLY all night until i passed out. So its still been a huge change lol. From tonight onwards tho i'm done w the weed pen and ready to try 0 thc 🙏

kind friend @palmceader sent me a CBD tincture made for sleep (thanku again 🥹) which im sure has a TINY percentage of thc, but nothing even close to how much im used to.

i cant even imagine how fried my dopamine receptors are, cus honestly, i feel Fucked. spaced out is an understatement. i cant focus on anything and its kinda driving me insane. it feels impossible to read or draw or do any of my hobbies.. my body feels heavy and depressed. No motivation. its kinda the opposite of what i was expecting. i can barely keep my eyes open during the day..

on a brighter note i havent been struggling too much with sleep or appetite. i think sleepy time tea + the tincture + magnesium is rly helping. my dreams recall is already improving so much, and the times i have nightmares arent as bad as its been previous times i tried to quit. i havent rly struggled with cravings at all either, which used to be a huge obstacle for me ! im just so over it now. i was starting to get chest pains and coughing a lot, which was taking any joy out of the act of smoking for me.

morbid to say but I often think of my father and how his rampant addictions directly lead him to such a painful and horrific early death. its a rare perspective of imagery so disturbing , i know i can't go on in such a manner. Like, what a fucking fool i would be! For others i can understand it but for me, no. it has haunted me for a long time to know i'm letting myself go down that path, even with all my insistent self-justification that his death is what brought me to this in the first place. deep down ive been knowing i need to break the cycle like i have the choice and the power, im still alive im still here ..

Sorry if thats depressing to bring up! i do feel depressed tho. i cant use weed to hide from my pain anymore.. i have to rewire my whole ass method of coping with stress at age 30. i know i can do it but its gonnnna be a long winded process full of ups n downs. Running away is no longer an option and thats a lot to face! a lot of old wounds i never rly dealt with, cus i kept my head in the 💨clouds💨 for so long.

i promise not to give up this time tho no matter how hard it gets 🙏 i want to set a good example too like indunno a lot of younger ppl follow me now i dont wanna feed into narratives that may influence them in bad directions. i have a responsible heart. i rly dont think weed is cool i havent since i was like 16. i was just dependent on it so i tried to romanticisze its role in my life. its silly.

im kinda laughing now cus im like god, i initially felt like the reason im quitting is so i can be more active in my dream world, but the more i think about it the more i notice MANY many more reasons to quit that go way deeper.

All in all the reason im talking about it is to maybe inspire other ppl who have been on the verge of quitting but too afraid to rly take the plunge-- Ur not alone, ur not weak for being addicted, if u need to reach out to me u are more than welcome.

Ppl rly downplay weed addiction cus the withdrawals arent life threatening like other substances, but that doesnt mean its a walk in the park. Most ppl i know who are stoners have never been able to quit for similar reasons as me. It takes a major psychological hold over u. if u ever need to vent about it or need advice, im here!

if u read all of this, pls dont worry abt me xD Even if it feels miserable rn i have faith things will improve, the heaviness and brainfog will lift, the emotions will be purged, i am excited for my future. One day at a time....Dont giving up 🙏

Signed, PMD9

[sl-ut]

so i was reading your casual dominance hcs for college! abby and i thought it was so cute!! i cant find your rules so ignore this if you dont feel comfortable writing it- but you mentioned abby being protective over y/n if they did other drugs and i was wondering if you could write something about that- maybe the reader took something at a party or slipped up/how abby would help the reader thru withdrawal- the concept just stuck out to me cus pf my past and i was thinking “huh i wonder how abby would react to her partner doing drugs” especially because yk her dad is a doctor- but absolutely NO PRESSURE!! this is your blog and i understand if you’re uncomfortable writing stuff like that

love u hun<33

ofc!! i was hoping to expand on this at some point i just wasn't sure when. in regards of my rules, i don't really have any aside from (obviously) show respect to me and others on my blog and that i reserve the right to simply not write something if i am not comfortable with it.

WARNING: THIS BLURB CONTAINS CONTENT THAT MIGHT NOT BE SUITABLE FOR EVERYONE, INCLUDING MENTIONS OF DRUGS, DRUG ADDICTIONS, WITHDRAWLS, RELAPSING, AND BEING DRUGGED. PLEASE DNI IF THIS WILL TRIGGER OR MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

more college!abby

abby makes it very clear early on in the relationship how she feels about drugs. she obviously does not use any sort of drugs aside from the single drink she allows herself at parties, seeing as she is a varsity athlete and came from a medical family. however, she does understand that y/n may not have the same feelings towards them.

she can understand the interest in the recreational use of weed. it was soothing and generally did not harm the body as drastically as any other drugs did so long as it didn't become something that they were reliant on. to be quite honest, if she hadn't been subjected to regular drug tests by her coach, she would probably partake herself.

she didn't mind when y/n chose to smoke some weed at parties with her friends, and she could honestly say that she enjoyed the nights when she would take a thc gummy before their weekly movie nights; y/n would just sit there and giggle away, and then would eventually become so handsy that abby had to force her to go to bed.

when it came to the hard stuff, though, that's when she got nervous. the thing was, she knew that she couldn't prevent y/n from doing anything, she could only warn her against it. she always would, and if y/n still decided to go ahead with it, she only asked that she let abby know beforehand and be safe. there were things she would take into consideration before she actually stepped in and didn't allow her to do something, such as how much she might have drank already, what kind of drug it was, and who was offering it.

one time, they were at a party and someone offered both of them some molly. of course, everyone knew that abby would decline, the offer was simply a courtesy. when y/n glanced up at her, abby only shrugged and told her that it was her choice, and even pointed out that she had only a few sips of her first drink. y/n agreed, taking the pill and anxiously waiting for the effects to kick in while abby ensured that no one would fuck with her when they finally did. it turns out, molly really is the love drug, because all she could do was slide her hands up and down abby's toned stomach while she scattered sloppy kisses across any exposed flesh she could reach. abby didn't mind it too much, but was definitely on guard for the remainder of the night to ensure that nothing happened to her girl.

the one time that y/n actually got drugged was a different story. she'd been a bit suspicious all night about that one guy that seemed to be lingering around. the campus pub was busy that night, and she hadn't exactly been concerned when y/n seemed a little tipsy; she was hanging out with abby's friends, and some of them weren't exactly welcoming, if you know what i mean (and yes, i will be expanding on this). she had been watching y/n from across the bar as she played darts with nora and mel, vaguely listening to manny's story about his most recent conquest when she noticed the quiver of her knees. she had furrowed her brows, watching closer as she gripped the wall, shaking her head slowly as mel touched her back in concern. abby was on her feet in a second as she watched her tumble to the floor, eyes rolling back in her head as she completely blacked out. she was concerned first and foremost, but anger took a close second; for a moment, it was aimed at y/n when she thought that she had gotten so drunk that she couldn't stand, and then because of how painfully obvious the situation was when nora noted that she hadn't even finished her first drink. after an overnight stay in the er and a very uncomfortable first phone call with y/n's parents, abby decided that she would not be letting y/n out of her sight in that kind of setting again.

if y/n were to have had issues with drugs in the past, i can picture abby having a tough-love approach when it comes to keeping her clean. obviously she understands that the process is not easy, but she makes it clear that she isn't willing to be with someone who cares more about drugs than her or their own life.

in saying that, she isn't going to take off when the going gets tough. if she can sense that y/n is getting stressed out or anxious enough that she might relapse, she'll comfort her in the best way she can. she offers her unconditional love and support from herself and will likely reach out to y/n's friends and family who know about her issue for support as well. she's not going to let her slip away so easily.

if the situation did happen to occur where she relapses, abby is there for her as well. if anything, she would probably feel some guilt for allowing it to happen without noticing the signs, especially knowing that relapsing would probably cause a complete mental breakdown for her. she had been so happy to finally get clean, and now she had to go through it all over again.

the withdrawls were the hardest part. she suffered with fevers, nausea, depression, etc, etc. abby did her best to help her through it, but would probably fold under the pressure of doing it alone and end up taking y/n back to her hometown. she would stay with her and her family for a bit, doing as much of her work online as possible, but the simple fact that she now had the help of y/n's family to help her cope was exponentially better than before. now all she could hope for was a smooth recovery, and for it to never happen again.

[eventually27]

Heyyyy I noticed you haven’t written for warren lipka 👀

could you possibly do a warren x reader with them having sex while being higher than a kite? Thank you! :D

Finish on a high..

Warren Lipka

(Warning: drugs, sex, swearing)

"Ahh fuckkkk," you tightened the strings to your hood and made a run for it, straight out the door and across the road to Warren's car. It was pissing it down, and you didn't want to get your hair wet, "Warren unlock the door quickly!!" You were banging on the window to get his attention, Why do you look like E.T?" Warren laughed as you got in, "shut up. " You loosened your hood so you could take it down, your hair flowing out of it, "That's better, isn't it? " You giggled, "so did you get the weed?", "of course I did, have I ever let ya down?" Warren removed a bag of weed from the glove box and passed it to you.

You watched as Warren sparked up, "You want some, or you guna go back in that rain?" He looked towards the window. You could hear how hard the rain was crashing against it, you defiantly didn't want to go out there, "yeah I don't think I'll be leaving for awhile, we wouldn't want me to drown" you laughed as Warren passed you the joint, you took a deep inhale, releif took over your body as you felt the THC go straight to your brain, "Wow you look like you needed that" Warren laughed, his eyes already bloodshot. You burst out laughing. "I definitely did need that." You both looked at each other and started to laugh, "you know I've forgotten how cool you were to hang out with Warren. " You slumped down in the passenger seat, leaning slightly over to Warren's side so your shoulders were touching, " Wait, how could you forget such a thing? I'm awesome, " he laughed and also slumped back, both of your arms now touching on the middle arm rest. "Want to hear a joke?" You inhaled again and passed it back to Warren, "go on, " he turned to look at you even tho you were gazing out of the window, "what do you call a pothead with two joints?... double jointed" you stayed silent, Warren burst out laughing so much he was choking, which only made you do the same, "how stoned are you? Let me see those eyes. " Warren placed his hand on your chin to turn you to him, you felt butterflies as you both looked in eachothers eyes, he had the most dreamy brown eyes, you swore his pupils were swirling around to hypnotise you, his hand was still on your chin, you saw his eyes go to your lips, you were so high your thoughts came straight out, "kiss me" you said, "if I do I don't think I'll be able to stop" Warren couldn't take his eyes off your lips, "then dont stop" you whispered. Warren's lips met yours, even with dry mouths your tounges danced around eachother passionately, you swung your leg over to the drivers seat to straddle him, you could feel his hard cock between your legs, "fuck" Warren groaned as he placed his hands on your hips to grind you against him, you were getting wetter by the second, you let out a moan, "i need you right now Warren" you tugged at his trousers to signal him to take them off, he managed to slide them down as you did yours, seeing how hard he was made your whole body tingle, you gripped his cock to guide it to your soaking entrance wasting no time, you lowered yourself onto him, You began to slide yourself up and down feeling every inch, "Oh shit that feels good, keep going baby" Warren's hands were helping you keep your pace, his cock was curved right against your gspot, every bounce making you twitch, Warrens hands went up your jumper to caress your bouncing tits, "your pussy is so good baby I can't hold on much longer", Warren's words were enough to send you into climax, you moaned Warrens name so loud and as you did you felt yourself tighten around his erupting cock, you both locked lips as you slowly grinded up against him both pulsating and riding out your highs, "Wow I didn't expect that" Warren brushed your hair behind your ear, "neither did i" you laughed, both dressed and back in your seat, you lit and passed Warren the rest of the joint, "bet you wont forget how cool i am now" Warren laughed.

[zeroiii]

hi i know this is a weird question but idk who to ask or anything really and i keep getting conflicting opinions off reddit

what r the best type of weed/thc gummies to order do you know? and how long does it take to kick in is there a scientific formula to it? im a fat guy so i did read that it might take longer to work for me or that i might have higher tolerance because of that

i am legal btw if you're worried about that, im just disabled and have some mental issues that make it hard for me to figure this out

and i keep finding so much varying info??? it really is not easy to research

pls help or maybe your followers can help if you don't know

or maybe direct me somewhere where i should be asking instead? idk

thanks!

honestly i might not be the best person either but i will post so others can help but most importantly if ur looking for pain relief i would look for thc AND cbd gummies; they make ones with both. cbd is seriously going to be ur best friend for pain relief

your tolerance is kind of weight-dependent. i can't remember exactly what it is, but if you're super skinny like me ur gonna lose ur tolerance super fast (mine gets pretty low if i dont smoke or do edibles for more than a day). i dont know if i worded any of this right especially bc if its ur first time trying anything thc its going to hit you no matter what. my first time eating an edible i had 20mg and did not move from the couch for hours

it also kind of depends on how full your stomach is, at least ive noticed for me. i try to eat something before eating a gummy if i can and depending on the strength it can take a bit. i never time it anymore but usually its working within the next half hour

i cant rly say WHERE to buy weed because it really depends on ur state and local area stuff. i have a couple dispensaries about 20 minutes away from me but it could be different for u. dont do gas station weed. even if theyve got a fancy counter and all the cool glassware behind them, dont do gas station weed.

i think ive said everything i wanted to say so if anyone else wants to give inputs :)

[ghostbustermelanieking]

Since you're wanting asks: how do you convince yourself to read for fun? I'm one of those people who used to read a ton for fun but now as an adult I read a ton for work...and that's it my brain is fried. How do you best get back into it?

honestly being a college student might give me a bit of an unfair advantage asdfgghjkll... i'm not working very much at the moment, and i haven't gotten into much reading for school yet, and i've been in the groove of reading every day since like october, and i dont have much of a day to day social life, so i do have a lot of down time.

but mostly, personally, i just try to find stuff i enjoy reading, not be too forceful, do it when i want to and don't when i don't... although i'm that kind of person who like. if i'm not watching something or actively interacting with others, i'm probably reading something, even if it's just like. shitposts or blog threads on my phone. so it's kind of just a habit for me.

i would advise trying to make it fun and rewarding for yourself. don't challenge yourself too too much, at least not at first -- read whatever makes you happy! find little quiet moments where it's a good time. read stuff that makes you want to be reading it during the quiet moments. find ways to make reading feel fun and/or relaxing -- maybe read in the tub, or by the pool? (i read IN the pool bc i'm a fuckin weirdo.) maybe try doing it in different spots -- i like reading in coffee shops, or on/by the beach, or going out to eat alone and taking a book. a friend told me he has reading nights with a friend where they sit quietly and read together (which i totally wanna try). i would just say don't put too much pressure on yourself, and make it as fun as you can!

edit: @poolsidescientist i forgot one thing i wanted to mention for me, personally, that i like. i don't know how you feel about thc, but i've found personally that reading while on a d8 or d9 gummy makes it way more enjoyable. i get very pulled in and focused and it feels like a brand new story in a way.

[danihwang882]

Happy Changbin Day~

I'm going to follow up @stayinlimbo with some very comforting words. But don't give up on yourself, even if the pain is too much to bear. I believe in you, don't quit on yourself. Stay in it for the recovery.

We all know what our bodies needs, and if your pushing yourself. Take like four days off if not five and rest, replish, self care, love yourself, because you are also looked up by me. <3

You wanna know a honest truth about me. I had to pull myself out of thc hybrid strain flower use and I learned that wasn't worth it. So now CBD GUMMIES help with anxiety, depression, sleeping, and insomnia, but also joint and leg or arm pain. So try that with 100% CBD and ZERO THC.

Just like Felix if he feels fine opening up to about any of his injuries or any of the other members feel like doing that. In one ear and out the other. I might cry, but I love you all so much. Don't push yourselves to be the best if your handsome bodies are taking pain. Exspecially you Chan, Han, Changbin.

aka XIULIN/Kitten/Dani legendary cross fade on Changbin's Kitten D-11 party without you fuckers for Changbin. Cheers on This pop and crown royal whiskey vanillia so good~ Better than APPLE.

I need a song rec from Changbin and Han now. So give me something similair to Skip Marley and H.e.r. Because that might be my next karoke song in a week.

My reasons for listening to Slow Down is Inter-RACIAL acceptance on SEOUL that you really do not need to judge like the masses if you love someone from a different culture or background. This lyrics is how I feel about Hyunjin and Felix both, maybe plontically my bestie Channie too. Its a fucking freedom and free will choice whom they choose to love.!

When Felix read my tumblr letter yesterday. He said basically Our Dani/XiuLin your healing me thank you. I understand all the past heartache you and other members and even myself have been though. But I also see that thats no longer the verison of you that I have gotten to know now in present.

You all are my deepest Universe love. Not even the stars shine as bright as you 8 men.

Favorite new past time, bumping Stray Kids from backyard at odd hours of the night and morning to disturb moms and dads sleep.

My new motto "No one loves Stray Kids more than Dani/XiuLin/Kitten or an S/O. Both are the same of the same."

I might snipe my ass with Hyunjin and Felix again. May I? Posted from my phone account. Is hyunjin eating tripe like me eatting eel. I just cant do it, I might for Hyunjin and Felix if they take me out to my new sushi place for shared sashimi. That shit is so good. I wanna go for sashimi again but I dont wanna pay. Who will out of sTRAY KIDS? fELIX? cHANNIE WILL YOU PLEASE BESTIE?! i WANT TO GO LYFT TO RIKI SUSHI NORTH PARK. wHILE DRUNK AND CAPABLE TO FIND HER WAY OUT THERE.

[digitalcockroach]

on the one hand i know i do get cranky anxious withdrawals from weed when i have to do a t break like i wont deny that but on the other hand so much of it is the symptoms that come rushing back at full force after like a full 24hrs off THC like i truly dont know how i was surviving before i started smoking (the answer: i wasnt, i was self harming all the time, doing riskier drugs, hanging out with people who enabled me being an alcoholic, and ended up in the mental ward for the weekend before i started to get my shit together) like and trust me early on when i started being an everyday stoner (like summer 2020) and would feel like shit when i was sober i worried it was just withdrawals but i did the work to identify it and honestly it really is an unmistakable feeling - the sensory overload, the flashbacks, the way almost nothing feels good or satisfying. but of course now ive been smoking almost every day for like 4 fuckin years of course my tolerance is shot to hell, what lasted me a month in 2020 lasts me less than a week today and it's more expensive too. i dont even have a point im just venting because guess what outta weed 😬 sometimes i think about the mythical month long T break that could cure my tolerance but how tf do i do that when when im sober it's like i can feel every second physically dragging me closer to death lol

[indigo474]

Sunday fun day- 2182024

my leg hurts worse today than yesterday. i am upset. i wanted to go to the gym but i can barely walk. this sucks. it feels like maybe i pulled something?? i have no idea. a week ago i was fine. now i'm not. I'm trying not to go down a dark road- these things happen , not a big deal, i'll work through this and be ok. I was making so much progress and now this and why...

My Mom called and invited herself over. Our last 2 interactions have not gone too well. She asked if i would make dinner. I told her i couldn't do that. I don't know what people eat for dinner. i know what i eat. I know what Madison eats. I wouldn't know what to cook for someone. I need time to plan this sort of thing its not something i can just do. AND i'm not convinced she will even show up.

I will not be going to the country festival on the beach. I told the person who invited me it was a money issue- not a total lie.. on my list of reason NOT to go, money was on there but at the bottom. If i wanted to go, I would make it happen. I did ask how much for the room and she never got back to me- i pretty much made up my mind not to go anyway so i didnt ask again. She kept telling me i would have fun.. I know i would have fun.. . a year ago, i would have been so excited to go. and i know if i went i would have fun its just that i don't want to be around all those people drinking.. i could take my back pack of THC.. but i dont know this person that well and we work together and there's that whole thing and i could go on and on about why i dont want to go. I would go if it were like 2 days- i feel like i could do 2 days. I am not the same person i was a year ago and that is exciting- i like who i am. it's also scary? maybe not scary but unsettling .. i cant find the word. it's weird to me.. ive never felt more like myself, at the same time i am questioning who i even am. I'm in a constant state of becoming. i like who i am becoming.. i really do. I dont realize how much i have changed until something like this comes up. it's like WOW - you really arent the same person you were a year ago.. that's a good thing.

[weirdmageddon]

can someone explain what “weed paranoia” is?

ive never experienced it, all i experience is like….relaxation, monotropic autism flow state, calms me down enough to not get overstimulated by my own thoughts (i feel more at ease with my thoughts coming and going, i kinda go into free flow thought tunnels without getting hung up or ever spiraling. in fact, the opposite, where it’s like a “catch and release” sort of experience to train of thought most of the time. i mean i’ll still definitely hyperfocusing on something which you could consider getting “hung up” on but thats just normal autism stuff and i feel like i can mine for more deeper insight riches in those hyperfixation tunnels when high.

it also definitely helps me unmask. like my mask is sort of built into my core personality and “self” but i find it hard if not impossible to shut off even when im alone because ive internalized the external social sphere. but THC (i should note im taking Δ9) like…. takes the edge off, and i feel less conflicted about my thoughts? like i’m more confident in getting my thoughts out there without worrying about people judging me for how i phrase things or how hyperspecific im being to my own interests. i feel like i dont have to water things down as much because i dont feel as threatened by judgment externally, and in turn internally

i looked up my question about what “weed paranoia” feels like on reddit and the common answers ive seen were:

generalized anxiety

“everyone knows” / you feel like people are watching or judging you and that youre gonna be in trouble

“You’re very aware of your own actions and existence, and assume everyone else is also.”

heightened self-reflection (for some people this freaks them out??) because different perspective

more vulnerable

but i’m not satisfied with these answers??

i want to know if people who get paranoid have these traits while sober/before getting high. like, is it just non-introspective people getting freaked out because they’re considering their own actions/thoughts and existence? or do introspective people who are used to metacognition also getting freaked out?

are people afraid of confronting their weaknesses that weed makes them aware of? are people who normally hide from truths more likely to get paranoid?

ok so i can only fully know my own mind; that is my reality. i have a habit of assuming people more or less share the same phenomenological experiences in their minds, but since i’m autistic i’ve had to expand this boundary over and over continually reconciling with way more diverging phenomenological experiences than i thought.

so i normally i have thoughts about my own thoughts pretty much at least five times every hour, every single day of the week. i do not experience is not a bad thing, it’s a neutral and even good thing. i think i am insightful by nature and always have been, ive been described as such. i don’t know how normal this is for the average person. weed does enhance these metacognitive thoughts i have to an even higher level, and i feel very, very pulled towards them in a good, flow state way. ive also been told my guarded chilly heart melts a bit and i become more open/vulnerable while stoned but that’s because i don’t feel as vulnerable as i normally do. so i dont hide or clam up as much away from psychological openness or whatever exact shit enneagram type 5 is on

but anyway even without weed i normally feel “outside” of my own thoughts, always judging them from a third person perspective, or even multiple third person perspectives through reframing. so i dont feel like i have a defined or clearly illuminated sense of self. i’m not trying to really “find myself” so much as uncover it. like, it’s definitely there to begin with i can feel its presence, but the specifics are obscured and i’m trying to bring them to light. i automatically isolate logical components from emotional components into their own boxes and rarely acknowledge the emotional box because it’s unhelpful in more circumstances than not so it’s all a pretty clinical process when i make sense of things

because i can do this i’m never afraid of the truth; in fact i actively go in search of it and honestly it feels like THC helps me achieve that on MYSELF and it makes me very satisfied

i also don’t know if what i said is normal. am i comfortable with truths and facing them to an unusual degree over most people, or about the same as them?

i saw this comment and it’s like….. that makes sense with disinhibition of the frontal cortex. i think way too much about the rhetoric and kairos of how im communicating information to others normally, but with these consciously overthinking circuits driving and modifying my social thoughts and behaviors being turned down while stoned, i find i dont care as much. it’s like my conscious autism masking is peeled away, so i feel more content while stoned. and it also makes me more open as a result.

like i said, “i feel more at ease with my thoughts coming and going, i kinda go into free flow thought tunnels without getting hung up or ever spiraling” which is how this guy is describing “going with the flow”

the takeaway is i dont have a negative reaction to when i realize unpleasant things about myself while high. it’s just this neutral acknowledgement. this even goes for physical things that usually tip people off like their heart rate being “too fast” while high. i do perceive it also but theres like no anxiety with it, again just neutral observation and acknowledgement

basically im Actively looking for this

so some questions:

can someone explain what “weed paranoia” is like, taking into account the gist of what ive said? if you experience it do you have any insight into why it happens? does anything ive said have to do with it? do you already have neurotic tendencies (low resistance to stress)?

what does my experience while high + my normal thought processes as ive described them say or imply about me?

why am i experiencing pretty much the polar opposite of the way weed paranoid people are describing anxiety of being judged? or like the thing about my feelings of vulnerability?

am i more comfortable with truths and facing them to an unusual degree than most people, or am i actually about the same as them? am i more introspective/metacognitive than most people, or am i actually about the same as them?

if people who ARE already introspective get high and feel paranoid, why would that happen—wouldnt they be used to uncovering things about themselves? are there other reasons? does one’s sentiment to oneself play into it? neurotic traits?

oomf said “your high is always driven by how capable you are of passively defusing triggers for a bad trip”. the explanation for how well people tolerate THC ive gravitated towards outside of genetics (since my mom doesnt tolerate thc well but i do) is ability to deflect stressful thoughts, or how impacted you are by stressful thoughts in the first place. is this anything?

i hope im describing these things adequately so i can get the answers im looking for lol. please tell me if any of this means anything to you or if its just words

EDIT:

^ to me everything is great and feels significant, but is that because the things that feel significant are themselves good? if weed makes stuff seem more significant (too much dopamine weighs negative inputs too highly), that means it amplifies what’s already there (while also amplifying “noise”). so that tells us about the nature of what is already there in the mind’s contents, then?

so again, question 2: what does my experience while high + my normal thought processes as ive described them say or imply about me?

[fuck-kirk]

Okay wait, has it ever been mentioned whether or not any of the forsworn were elves, or where they all human?

[garfieldsladybird]

info on marijuana.

bro so today (aug 31) there was club rush at lunch and when i was looking around, there was a club for uh basically shaming drugs which is a good thing and i went over there and i got a pamphlet of marijuana drug abuse prevention series :)

yep. click on it if you want but let me just say they use big ass words. im not going to repeat what it said, just say it the way it will make sense to me.

A note before getting started: I do smoke weed and I’m 15 years of age. I honestly think it’s a bad thing for me to be smoking, there’s a lot of casualties that go with me smoking from a young age. I mean the brain stops growing at 25 for both male and female and I’m not even close to that age. I literally have 10 years until I hit that age. I would love to stop smoking but it also brings me so much joy and I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing that I smoke. it’s not like I smoke cigarettes. but i’m still ruining my lungs and since I’m young my immune system has not like been at its fullest, it most likely has been when I was younger and I did not smoke but I feel like I’m just throwing something something at a wall that’s getting damaged every time i smoke. basically that is whats being put in my mind.

-> now just because I have put this all together and all this info, it does not mean I will stop smoking. I just want people to know the casualties that go with smoking marijuana and if they want to fully do it or not. just know I am definitely not shaming marijuana and people that smoke it. I am people that smoke it and you do you boo!!

this includes:

what is marijuana?

how marijuana can be smoked?

three different types of weed.

what’s in marijuana?

types of marijuana (going with two).

synthetic marijuana?

marijuana and the body.

short-term effects.

long-term damage.

marijuana and sports.

is marijuana addictive?

and info.

1. what is marijuana?

could’ve just said this — ‘Cannabis, also known as marijuana among other names, is a psychoactive drug from the Cannabis plant.’

2. in the pamphlet it adds how marijuana can be smoked?

what it saids -> weed can be smoked as a joint like a cigarette, in a bong (water pipe), and a pipe with no water. And also with dab pens, which are like vapes.

3. there are 3 different types of weed. (they did not include this in the pamphlet)

The first one is sativa; its more of an energizing weed, the plants grow taller and are lighter in color, it takes longer to flower and produces more cerebral effects. This one is the largest of the three families, and it keeps you up during the day and just makes you energized if anything, but it depends if you got the good stuff.

The second one, Indica; Its a like sleepy weed, the plants are shorter, bushier, and produce more sedative physical effects; meaning it makes you more drowsy. I like to call this one 'in the couch' because it’s Indica, so 'in da couch', and like i said it makes you sleepy if anything.

Third one, Ruderalis; I don’t know a lot about it 'cause i dont smoke this kind and not a lot know about it ig. but it's a low-THC species of Cannabis meaning it doesn’t have that much THC in it so basically for people that don’t like to get high they would use that, and i think maybe some cigarette users might smoke that after quitting too if they dont like sativa but I don't know much abt this one.

4. whats in marijuana?

the main compound in marijuana is thc and thats what causes the effects of getting high. THC stands for tetra-hydro-cannabinol, tetrahydrocannabinol, thats the chemical responsible of marijuana's mind effects and that is also what makes people feel high.

this is because there’s two receptors in the brain that it releases too, it binds with receptors in the brain that control pain, mood, and other feelings.

And there’s also cbd (cannabinol). Cannabinol is a chemical found in the Cannabis sativa plant. There is interest in using cannabinol for sleep, pain, and as an appetite stimulant. CBD is a non-intoxicating cannabinoid, so it won't get you high. It will, however, produce a wave of calming and relaxing effects that can elevate the mood and invigorate the user; makes you feel mellow and more comfortable.

5. types of marijuana? kinda going with 2. (they should have named this differently bc this is basically how you would smoke it)

so a joint; which is basically rolled up marijuana in cigarette paper.

a roach; technically you would get this after smoking a blunt or maybe even a joint too but it depends. this is just like whats leftover. (i personally wouldn’t call this a way to smoke weed but still counts)

a blunt; what i do with blunts is take the tobacco out of the blunt and fill it with weed as if its a joint. 

in the pamphlet its saying ‘hash oil.’ hash oil is basically dab. BHO; butane hash oil is what makes dab, dab. this is in other words a kinda liquid form of marijuana but the form is not like water, its like jello but when heated it melts and thats how you would take it. This is also what they would put in carts/cartridges, they would put dab in dab pens (which are like a vape).

6. synthetic marijuana.

like a designer drug. bc they are sprayed with artificial chemicals that are designed to mimic the effects of cannabis.

i dont know much about this.

7. marijuana and the body. (im not copying anything from the pamphlet, im just commenting on what it says)

the lungs; okay so right now i have a really bad cough, like real bad, i can feel it when i need to cough and it feels/sounds as if your shoe is scraping rocks on concrete and uh i think why i have it might also be bc of smoking. like it says, “regular users often develop a chronic cough that can progress into lung diseases..” which i have no words to make a comment other than this.

the mouth; i did not know that could happen. omg.

the cardiovascular system; i could have a heart attack!?? omg-

the stomach; wait, marijuana slows the digestive system? ik it increases appetite, we call that the munchies! but when eating marijuana edibles it can cause nausea?.. i haven’t really been able to get high from edibles and i rarely have em but i still dont know if it causes nausea..

muscles; yes to that. when high and i’m sleepy, my hands are numb and i just don’t want to move especially if im in bed abt to sleep. but when high during the day, im fine yeah my muscles will feel light but i am aware of my surroundings. 

body tissue; yes it can be detected in the body for up to 28 days, a month at its finest. i did not know that THC is stored in fatty areas of the body.

the reproductive system; okay this is cray cray. it says, “in females, marijuana use can disrupt the menstrual cycle and lead to fertility problems.” that scares me cuz i want kids. oh gosh. this is scary. continuing, “in males, marijuana lowers the sperm count and may cause irregular sperm cells to form.” i hope males are okay too.

going with that i found a site saying, “In women, high THC doses interfere with the menstrual cycle and may delay or prevent ovulation.” — this is all true.

8. short-term effects.

delusins

painic

paranoida

acute psychosis (basically delusions)

increased appetite (muchies)

increased heart rate

bloodshot eyes

dry mouth and throat (cotton mouth)

dizziness

loss of short-term memory

altered sense of time

impaired judgment

mood swings

inability to concentrate on tasks

loss of coordination

loss of depth perception

9. long-term damage.

risk of brain damage

mental depression

reduce immunity to infections

impaired memory and ability to learn

hallucinations and paranoia

chronic lung disease such as bronchitis and emphysema

heart disease

increased risk of lung cancer

irregular ovulation in females

decreased sperm count in males

10. marijuana and sports.

-> THC actually binds to receptors in your brain that control balance, posture, coordination, and reaction time—all things that are important to athletic performance. In addition, marijuana smokers can have many of the same respiratory problems as tobacco smokers, such as a daily cough and phlegm production.

-> i personally think that marijuana helps in creativity so it can also depend on what sport. but everything above is true. i think that if you smoke weed and do dance, it might help for being creative in way but who knows.

11. is marijuana addictive?

yes. no joke.

Approximately 1 in 6 people who begin smoking pot as a teenager will become dependent on the drug.

Users who are dependent on marijuana may also experience withdrawal symptoms when they stop using, such as irritability, trouble sleeping, decreased appetite, craving and anxiety.

thats why im scared.

12. info.

call; 1-800-784-6776 for national alcoholism and substance abuse information center.

‎© 𝗀𝖺𝗋𝖿𝗂𝖾𝗅𝖽𝗌𝗅𝖺𝖽y𝖻𝗂𝗋𝖽.

[thisisgonnafuxkinkillme]

POV: You Got Wayyy Too High

Warnings: Drug use (weed lol)

Aizawa Shouta/ Eraserhead

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked Aizawa as he plopped his bag at the door. You were trying to smoke weed from a pipe, but instead of lighting the actual herb, you were trying to heat it up from the bottom of the pipe.

You’d never smoked weed, but wanted to try it and bought the supplies from a local smoke shop, as well as buying some good stuff from your friend.

Unfortunetly, you also didn’t bother to look up how to actually use a pipe, instead just relying on knowledge you gained from drug documentaries.

This meant that you only knew how people heated up heroin with a flame under the spoon, which meant that surely you could do the same with weed.

“No, no, no, no. Stop that,” he ordered. You were his age, but nonetheless still buckled under his stern tone.

“Look, do you need me to show you how to do it?” he asked, gently taking the glass pipe from your hand. You nodded.

“Watch carefully,” he ordered, as he properly lit up the herb as he inhaled the smoke. He then passed it to you, watching you carefully to make sure you were doing it right. Soon, you got the hang of it.

Even sooner, though, you were a coughing mess.

“Calm it down, there. Don’t take huge puffs. You’re not impressing anyone here, y/n,” he scolded, taking another puff. He did it effortlessly, as if he’d done it for years. (He has.)

You wanted to impress him, though, even though he seemed to not care what you did. You just wanted to prove to him that you were ~cool~.

Well, this ended up in you looking very... uncool.

While Aizawa was chilling with a pretty decent high, you were laid across the bed, starfish style, blasting music in your ears. You were honestly vibing though, so Aizawa didn’t mess with you. For now.

The next day, he definitely teased you a little bit about how totally out of it you were, and how you listened to the same song on loop for 3 hours.

“How did you know that?” You asked, cocking a brow.

“Uh, because your headphones weren’t plugged in?”

Yagi Toshinori/ All Might

He was smoking when you came home, and though he tried to hide it, you smelled it. He acted as if he was just caught as a 17 year old in his mom’s house.

“Uh, no, it’s nothing! I...I don’t do anything like that!” He insisted.

“Toshi, come on. I can smell it,” you smiled. He covered his face.

“Please, please, keep this between you and I...I only do it because it helps with the pain and-”

You cut him off, “ I dont care why you do it, just lemme have some already!” 

Of course, you were just teasing him, and he knew that, but he couldn’t help but ask, “...You smoke?”

You shook your head playfully.

“If you’ll let me, I’d like to try some, though!” 

He passed it to you, and you took a way-too-long drag. Instantly, you were doubled over, coughing and hacking your lungs out. 

He patted your back firmly.

“Since this is your first time, you’re gonna cough a little. Just try to take smaller puffs and take deep breaths. There you go.”

Once you recovered, and Yagi got his turn, he handed the joint back to you. It continued to be passed back and forth between you two until it was finally no longer than a centimeter. 

For a moment, you both just chilled out on the couch together, just vibing. That was until Toshinori noticed your goofy, dreamy facial expression. He chuckled to himself, but that was all you needed to become hysterical, laughing so hard that you couldn’t breathe. Seeing you laugh so much of course made Toshi a mess as well, which only added to your decent into utter madness.

Eventually, though, you both calmed down, and Toshi excused himself so that he could go take a quick bath. He often did this whenever he smoked, so that the warm water could aid even more in soothing his aching muscles and creaky bones.

So you were left alone. Totally unattended. At first, everything was totally fine.

However, as you started to actually feel the effects of the herb, you began to panic.

Is this normal? Does everyone else feel like this when they smoke? Oh God, this isn’t right...oh fuck, I’m gonna be the first dumbass to OD on THC...fuck...

Thoughts whizzed past your brain, every single one making sure you knew how totally fucked you were.

Tears streamed silently down your cheeks as you counted your pulse with two fingers on your wrist, but you coulnd’t find a pulse.

oh fuck...i’m probably going to pass out any minute now...it’s all over...

Images of your final goodbyes to everyone you loved flashed just behind your eyes.

“How’re you holding up, pumpkin?” asked Toshi, coming back from the bath, in a robe and his golden hair still damp.

You looked at him, your eyes red and puffy.

“Toshi...I’m...I’m dying...I love you, okay?” you murmured. He would have laughed, all except he saw the genuine fear in your eyes. 

He sat down next to you, surrounding you with all of his lanky limbs. 

“You’re not dying, honey. What you’re feeling right now is totally normal, I promise. Take some nice, deep breaths for me. Come on. There you go. Good.”

He cradled you there for a good while, until he felt your tense muscles finally slacken, and your breathing evened out.

Toshi made a mental note to never let you smoke that much ever again, guilt pinching at his sides.

Fatgum/Taishiro Toyomitsu

You had taken an edible cookie from your friend. She told you it was just a small bit in there, just enough for you to feel something.

You decided to be modest, eating just half of the cookie. You didn’t notice any effects, and out of sheer boredom you decided to go ahead and eat the rest of it. No harm in that, right?

Well, an hour later, it kicked in. You were expecting to feel something interesting, but you definately weren’t expecting anything like this at all. 

Everything seemed so far away. Even your breathing sounded like it was coming down a long corridor and echoing to your ears. You could feel your soul swimming in your body. 

Fatgum, who you lived with, luckily finished his hero duties early, and walked into the house joyfully as usual.  He called out your name. You didn’t reply.

His large footsteps could be heard, but you were too busy thinking about how weird breathing sounds to notice. 

Fatgum soon found you collapsed on the bathroom floor, face pressed against the cool tile.

Immediately, he propped you up against the wall, looking into your eyes with great concern.

“What did you take? Y/n, look at me. What did you take?” 

You lazily looked at him, your face completely serious. As serious as it could be, anyway.

“...i...it was...edible...” you mumbled out. As soon as he understood, he was laughing hysterically.

“s..stop...s not funny...” you grumbled, punching him in the gut. 

“Alright, alright... let’s get you into bed. You’ll feel much better once you wake up,” he smiled, picking you up and bringing you into the bedroom. 

You quickly were comforted by the warm, heavy comforter. Fatgum took a moment to look at you in your groggy state, trying his best to hold back a laugh. It was so painfully obvious that you’d never done anything like this in your life. His only regret was not being around to witness your ascent into cloud 9.

Soon, though, you had drifted into dreamland.

Hizashi Yamada

You locked yourself in your bathroom, sneakily lighting up the joint you bought off of your friend. Your boyfriend was in his room, playing Fortnite or some shit, and frankly, you were embarrassed to smoke in front of him. You knew that he’d definately find something to roast you about, and he was relentless.

A couple minutes after you lit up, though, the door was basically busted down.

“HEY, HEY! You better be planning on sharing some of that!” yelled Hizashi, his hand already out and waiting. He still had his headset on, but you saw with relief that his mic was turned off. You passed it to him.

“Augh! Where the hell didja get this weak shit, y/n? Nah, this ain’t gonna cut it,” he complained, putting it out. 

“Hey! I got that from my friend, dude! What the hell?” you frowned. Before you could be too mad at the waste, though, Hizashi pulled out a small wooden box from under his bed. Opening it, he revealed his stash of entirely too much pot.

You covered your mouth, stifiling a laugh. How the fuck could you have not smelled it? 

Within five minutes, he’d rolled up a blunt, and was passing it to you, already lit. 

It was gone after a little over half an hour, and you could already feel the effects. Your eyes were dry, your stomach craving junk food, and your brain craving chill vibes.

He returned to his game, unbothered but his volume definately toned down about 5 notches. He was a lot more chill than you’d ever seen him act, ever.

You found your way into the kitchen.

Once his game was over, he met you in there. You were in front of the fridge, pulling out thing after thing. By the time he’d gotten to you, you had eaten half a jar of pickles, three pieces of cake (with your bare hands), drank a bunch of soda, and you were headed for the chips that were sitting idly on the top of the fridge.

“oh, God...what the fuck are ya up to, dude?” he groaned. He did not want to deal with this mess.

You grinned at him.  “I dunno, maan... look dude could you just get me these up here? please bro...” you giggled. He sighed dramatically, taking them.

However, instead of handing them over to you, with your dirty little fingers, he ate them.

“stoppp, bro, please lemme get some!” you pouted. He acted as if he couldn’t hear you, leaving the kitchen. You followed after him, kicking him in the shins. 

Still, he didn’t seem to notice.

“Hizashi, come on, maaannnn!” 

He laid himself on the bed, covering himself with blankets. He pulled out his phone, calling you.  “Y/n, I miss you so much, man. Come chill out!” he spoke into the phone, trying his best not to break the act. You were absolutely furious at this point, punching at him.

“I’m right here, you doughnut!!” you groaned.  Dramatically sighing, Hizashi frowned, “I really wish y/n was here to sesh with me...” all while still eating the chips. You jumped on top of him. 

Finally, you caught him off gaurd, grabbed the chips, and locked yourself back up in the bathroom. 

This time, though, he just left you be.