#misaki need therapy

[myreallymachine]

Perceptions of Junjou Romantica pt.1

I reread Junjou Romantica.

And I liked it, I know it's a red flag; I admit it, and I don't regret stating this.

Okay, so last Saturday, December 03, between these midnight slumps, moments where everything you consider right starts to be questioned, is that Junjou Romantica came to my head, as a blurry idea.

I listened to the thought and after at least 30 minutes of online research, I found a translation page that updates the Manga, more or less up to date and without spelling mistakes, something that is always appreciated.

Before reviewing (this is going to take a long time) then I think it is appropriate to give the respective credits to this translation group:

Credits for the small screenshots I'm going to post to @hibonbl-scan on Tumblr and link to his page where I read the manga (at least the last few caps):

(in Spanish, bc I'm lazy man. Please see the image descriptions (ALT) to read the English translation of the cartoons)

BTW: This post is a translation for a last ONE.

I read the chapters before act 40.5 in TMO and Manga Dogs; please support @hibonbl-scans in their official pages and do not resubmit the manga to these platforms, because it is a demerit to the hard work that this group does for the readers.

Anyway, I'll stop chitchatting because this is coming for a long time, because it is about the avalanche of thoughts both good and bad, of what Junjou Romantica has meant to my life.

On goodreads I rated my review 4.4 out of five stars but… objectively it doesn't deserve more than 3.

Is Junjou romantica a bad manga?

The short answer is: Yes.

But then why did I score it so high?

Because the moment you put aside the bad time the first few chapters put you through, is when you start to highlight the good stuff.

So, a little context for you to understand the crossroads of my life:

My first BL anime, was Junjou Romantica, like a lot of the people who started watching yaoi. I watched it believing that Misaki, the main character, was a girl.

And I was shocked to realize that there could be a genre specific to gay relationships in anime. At that time, I only watched shojo (I also watched kuroko no basket, but I should dedicate another post to that), my epitome of romance was Adrian and Marinnete's relationship from miraculus ladybug, and I was 12 years old.

If I were to go back in time, I would have said to myself, don't watch Junjou Romantica until you understand that the attitudes Usagi exercises with Misaki are not romantic. THEY ARE TOXIC, THEY ARE WRONG and SHOULD NOT BE ROMANTIC.

I was one of the many girls who somehow approached yaoi believing that gay relationships, in real life, were based on abuse and possession which in manga/anime, looked good, but in real life is BAD.

Well, anyway, back then, as soon as I finished the bl anime page, I read the junjou Romantica manga, but I didn't remember anything, so I decided to reread it.

Current context:

I introduce myself; I'm a 17-year-old Chilean girl, who writes BL fanfiction since she saw junjou romantica. My romantic experience is not null, but the truth is that I've never felt in love. Nowadays, I can clearly differentiate the harmful attitudes of my environment and I can say that I managed to say NO to a relationship that was going to become something extremely toxic.

Disclaimer: the manga is not finished yet. But at this point the ending is pretty easy to guess and almost all the main conflicts are settled, so I don't think my opinion will change with the ending.

Also: Too many spoilers.

With this in mind, I can start commenting: Bring your beverage of choice, make yourselves comfortable because this started long and will go on long.

The plot: Usagi is a traumatized novelist, Misaki a traumatized boy but with a cool brother. Usagi and Misaki love each other. 💕

That the easiest plot summary.

I'm going to start with the good and the bad I'll analyze it later.

My favorite character is: MISAKI 🤧

I give a trophy to Misaki, for achieving this position in my heart. A real shame that within the fandom you are so underrated, all because of Usagi's sexy face. However, I didn't fall for Usagi's charms, and I can say that Misaki is one of the best developed characters I've encountered in manga.

WHAT????

When I was 12 I didn't appreciate it, but now. OMG.

Misaki needs real recognition, and so I'm going to start by highlighting what makes him such a mind-blowing character.

Misaki is an orphan boy, and he still blames himself in his 20-something years for this event, for this very reason is that he grows up to become an insecure man with low self-esteem and even comes to believe that he doesn't deserve to be loved.

It gives me certain vibes of Charlie from heartstopper, but worse.

HOW?

Now they're going to want to kill me, I get it.

Misaki, has all these complexes, besides being an orphan, having clear homosexual preferences that he represses and his older brother who has taken care of him, since his parents died, is getting married and, therefore, Misaki must become independent to not disturb the family environment that his brother will begin to form with great effort.

And I emphasize that bother, because Misaki throughout the manga we see him constantly repressing himself for fear of being a nuisance. He shuts up his opinions, his own desires, for the sake of the other person. He is too humble, so much so that it becomes painful. But Misaki grew up like this, it's the way he lives.

But everything I said, it doesn't end there, because the Misaki of vol. 1 changes too much to the Misaki we meet in vol. 27.

Misaki is my favorite character because we see him grow too much, so much so that I ended up in tears of pride just for him.

In the beginning he is, as I said, a snowball of insecurities, which if not healed, is going to end up getting bigger and bigger. His motivations (at the beginning) are basic: finish college, get married, work, and die. A life scheme that she considers boring, but at least it won't cause problems for the people around her.

Misaki, too, has a big issue expressing his feelings, he gets a mental circuit breaker and runs out of words even though he knows them well. He cannot express what he likes and dislikes; something that also contributes to the misunderstandings that occur throughout the saga

(and which add to the toxicity of the main relationship, at the beginning).

But in the end, Misaki not only accepts that he wants to be with Usagi for life, but is also able to express this clearly to her most important circle of people. He is confident enough in the decisions he makes that he can fearlessly reject people who want to go overboard with him. And furthermore, he brings to the relationship he has with Usagi no longer just as a stereotypical "tender Uke" figure BUT now he does so by supporting the very "super strong Seme" that Usagi is supposed to be.

Exactly. Misaki acknowledges that he's pivotal because without him, Usagi would be dead. At first, he says it as a joke, but now we realize that it's true. That their relationship works for the simple reason that they complement each other like a glove.

This is true love 💓. Because we are into something that is mutual.

Misaki can convey that he doesn't like something, maybe with a little more effort than everyone else; but he CAN. He is a boy who has grown into an adult who intelligently recognizes desires, ambitions, fears, and affection.

He transmits and receives love; in all spectrums of the word. As we see in the last vignette. If you only saw it you wouldn't know who Usagi or Misaki are, because they are equals. They consider each other as equals and respect each other as one.

Do you know how much it took for Misaki to identify herself as someone just as valid as Usagi?

Junjou romantica, to me, more than a romantic story is the journey of overcoming a troubled boy through sincere love. It's Misaki's journey, and how this is just beginning, assuming that it will hurt many times and cost; but with Usagi by her side she will be able to overcome the gaps.

There is a reason why the story begins when Misaki is so young. He is 22 years old, just finished college. That is to say, he has all his life and is going to keep learning. Junjou Romantica is the beginning of Misaki's journey.

My favorite scene with Misaki as the main character is when he talks to his sister-in-law about his relationship with Usagi. That explosion of information and feelings they had inside her for years is something magical. I was in tears from how proud I was.

Maybe it wasn't the best confession, but he told her everything he felt, he conveyed to his sister-in-law all the time he has invested in the relationship with Usagi. That it would be for life.

I was with Misaki, supporting him through everything, hoping for the best. I am amazed at how much he was able to convey with those words.

I felt his nervousness. At that point I was already crying, but I had to take a break when I read the following:

So short. So sincere and so meaningful.

I don't think I need to say anything else. Misaki as the best character in the whole manga. First point finished 😉

Now, I know what they're waiting for.

Who they're waiting for.

Usagi-San.

Is he a good character or a bad character, are his actions justified, should he be forgiven?

First, a little vignette of the men we're here to analyze.

One good thing I should point out: His obsession with teddy bears. That has a charm that's hard to ignore. Seeing a guy carrying a teddy bear all the time is wonderful.

In short; Usagi is a novelist, who has a bad relationship with his family and, in reality, knows little about human relationships. We realize this in the first moment, when he attacks Misaki, just for seeing him meddling in her things.

If I'm not mistaken, Usagi never had a steady partner before Misaki, but I want to sound like there was a thing with Hiroki, but I don't remember too well and, I don't really care either (I'll talk about my complicated relationship with secondary partners later).

Okay, so with that in mind, let's start with the bad stuff, just to get it out of the way.

What's up with falling in love with the brother of your biggest crush?

The younger brother, to boot.

I consider that to be the least realistic thing about Misaki and Usagi's relationship, because we're dealing with a replacement dynamic; which ends up affecting Misaki later on.

However, I think that if Nakamura, had the opportunity to remake the first volumes, that would be something that would change; because it is NOT necessary that in order to form a strong relationship between two characters it is mandatory that one has a crush on the other. Misaki's brother himself, is a living image of this. He never had any interest in Usagi in that way and yet, he considers him as her best friend.

(I will also talk about Misaki's brother later but wait).

The second thing I don't like are the attitudes Usagi has, I'll leave a little sequence, so you can realize this by yourselves.

Context: Misaki is talking to Usagi's family and Usagi appears out of nowhere.

I mean, I know it's a joke, but it gets a little murky when we actually realize that Usagi is the kind of partner who would put her boyfriend on a damn GPS, so she knows where he is.

It's controlling.

Still, we can salvage a bit of the reasons why Usagi is that way, so distrustful even of the person he loves; but I must stress that this doesn't justify his actions either. His controlling behavior stems from how much he has struggled to form stable relationships in the past.

See, in the manga itself we are told how for Usagi, Misaki is the first person to cry for him. We are even told that this is what caught Usagi's attention, how Misaki's empathy was so high that he expressed all the pain that Usagi held back, all by himself; despite the two of them getting along “badly” at the beginning of the story.

That's the word: “Irreplaceable”. The main reason Usagi controls Misaki so much is that he knows that he will never find someone who feels the same things, at the same intensity as Misaki does.

Now, does this justify his actions?

NO, NO AND NO.

Let's not confuse motives with justifications, they are very different things, but that we have to realize in order to understand the characters a little more. Because if we start defending toxic attitudes we will be in front of a red flag, and maybe we should start rethinking what we consider love and respect.

Now, let's talk about being possessive, and we don't have to go too far in the manga for the first signs of this attitude to come to light.

This character, who has been almost forgotten, was Misaki's first friend in the uni, when everyone ignored him.

And, in fact, he behaved as a cordial person with Misaki, he made him feel understood and integrated into that micro society that is the University. He even helped Misaki forget for a moment the insecurities that haunted him because he considered himself as his brother's replacement.

In other words, what I said in the first place. Direct effect.

Now. What ends up happening? That Usagi almost wants Misaki to be his. He stresses this to her on occasions where he tells him that he would prefer him to stay in the house 24/7, or in this house itself. Interfering in Misaki's personal relationships.

The good thing is that they're manga characters, so we're dealing with people who function on a scripted basis, but if the situation happened in real life, Misaki's friend would most likely have turned the other way.

Misaki wants to go out to eat with his new friend, but Usagi refuses because he finds himself jealous no longer that he has friendships, but that he is a man. He hates it when Misaki talks to other people, because in Usagi's mentality, that action in itself expresses a sexual interest on Misaki's part.

Which brings us to one of the first major conflicts.

Misaki, for the first time claims that he wants it and Usagi what does he do?

He represses it.

That contradiction is what I hate most about Usagi, who then later complains that Misaki isn't clear with his feelings, that he doesn't hide things from him, what-the-hell-doesn't-he-do. Dude, you in Act 2, when the two of you, in reality, were nothing, not even an official couple; you silenced Misaki.

How does the situation end? With sex and Usagi imposing himself as someone who has greater authority with Misaki and, therefore, must obey him.

I tried to cut the scene as best I could, because it is very explicit.

Honestly, this accumulation of attitudes is what makes Usagi a pretty despicable character to me.

It's a strong word, but unfortunately his pretty face doesn't help us to save points.

But well, not everything is bad with Usagi. But in order to highlight the good, it was necessary to identify how this character started in the story.

Because what I like most about Usagi, is how he recognizes that his past actions were wrong and tries to repair the damage caused in the future. Without repeating the same mistakes again.

For this we have to get to the beginning of the current arc, which I have called as “Confession arc” where the relationship of both, can no longer continue to be kept hidden and, therefore, Usagi understands that in order to form a relationship that is already “for life”, he can not continue to mistrust Misaki in such small situations.

It's not for nothing that the relationships that last the least are the ones with trust bumps. It ends up tiring both parties, and they fail as fast as they ascend.

So, the situation is as follows. We have Ijuiin Sensai, who is a mangaka that Misaki adores with all his life. He admires him greatly, but the only problem is that Ijuiin does harbor romantic feelings for Misaki.

This triggers several conflicts, as Usagi, again with his trust issues tries to “mark territory” with this mangaka. But this does not end up making Ijuiin himself see Misaki as a more “desirable” target. Following the logic that when you are forbidden something you end up wanting it more.

The interesting thing happens during Misaki's 22nd birthday, when Misaki and Usagi decide to travel and by the vagaries of life, Ijuiin meets Misaki. He confesses to him and even tries to kiss him.

At this point, we realize that Usagi, is watching everything from afar, seeing when he considers it an appropriate time to intrude.

The great thing is, Usagi doesn't intrude on this conversation. He does not decide to show himself, as he is confident that Misaki will be able to reject Ijuiin Sensei without further complications.

I think at this point, Usagi starts to put his toxic attitudes aside, and tries to carefully follow Misaki's actions. Something that is really appreciated, because up to this point, I always felt that Usagi, on certain occasions "happened to carry" Misaki, for and for his own benefit.

This vignette actually has more meaning than you think; it shows us that Usagi, despite being able to have it all, what makes her most happy is knowing that he is able to fully trust Misaki.

It makes him happy to know that the person he loves also fights for the same ideals.

Usagi is not a humble person, but we do not realize how in reality, the only thing he always looked for was that; love. Reciprocal and on firm pillars of trust.

My favorite Usagi moment is this one:

If someone says something similar for me, I would hold on to this one without a second thought.

In this sentence, all possibility of failure is left out. Usagi throughout the manga has shown us that he does not intend, for anything in the world to let Misaki leave his side. He has fought against the ups and downs, for that.

To go through this life with him.

That perfectly condenses the character's purpose and how something as human as living can be made better if shared with the right person. Usagi already met him, and this is Misaki, and he is not willing for anything in the world to let go of him.

The Japanese don't have a particular and defined religion; they actually share traits of various religions they have in their daily lives, and JR as such has never really shown too marked religious references other than the typical anime/manga ones, such as the New Year's celebration. But I could say that this is the first sentence that has such a marked religious meaning.

There are various beliefs of death; the Catholic one is that we ascend to heaven and live in paradise, in others there is reincarnation, Shintoism, where humans become kami.

But the fact that Usagi has referred to “this life” transcends the religious, because he makes it explicit that he believes that in the next life he will be a completely different person.

The great thing comes when we realize that one life is full of experiences and hardships and he is willing to spend it with Misaki no matter what. Usagi believes that when he dies, in the next life he is not going to have Misaki and that makes him make the decision to live his current life with Misaki as much as he can.

Therefore, I consider this to be one of Usagi's best moments, for the simple fact that it tells us as readers that this is his final decision and that he doesn't plan to change for anything in the world.

A true: "Till death do us part".

In short. Usagi gives for a lot to talk about, considering all the background of the Usami family behind, but I prefer to leave this section up to here to go to another point.

The best brother in the world?

As I was commenting throughout the post, Misaki comes as a package, so to speak. In fact, there would be no Junjou Romantica without Misaki's brother.

Takahiro Takahashi.

I'm bad with names, so I'll just call him Takahiro or brother, just so we understand each other.

I consider Takahiro to be too good a person, and you can understand at a glance where Misaki got all the humility from: From her older brother.

Takahiro instilled in Misaki the values of hard work, honesty, and simplicity.

From the very first moment, we realize that this character is completely devoted to Misaki, to the point of putting his own dreams aside to take care of his little brother.

Takahiro is aside from this, the biggest hero to Misaki, as he is always the first person he looked to for a second opinion or support.

However, I consider Takahiro, starting from the last arc becomes such a cool character that would lead me to rank him as one of the best siblings I've seen in manga.

Starting with the point that it is not too common for the main characters to have siblings.

THIS CARTOON IS TOO CLEVER.

Takahiro's main flaw is what you see up there; he still sees his younger brother as a child, who is not ready for the adult world. His wife tells him. That Misaki is no longer a child, that he should start seeing him as the independent adult he is.

This of course is going to reflect a shock to Takahiro, who has always sought for Misaki's welfare. Fighting for this with blood, sweat, and tears; defending Misaki from the obstacles that may come his younger brother's way.

But this made Misaki end up, in a subjective way; drowned.

Takahiro is overprotective, that's his biggest problem. Misaki is too important to him and for that very reason, he would like to be aware of everything that happens in his brother's life. He faithfully believes that he knows Misaki too well and trusts that Misaki could never hide information from him because Misaki, in one way or another, is "indebted to him".

Misaki, however, believes that the best way to settle that “debt” (which is the time Takahiro invested in Misaki's childhood), is to get away from Misaki. Letting his brother live a solitary life; with his own family, while Misaki tries to live the best life possible.

Now, clearly they will remain close siblings. I really love the brotherhood between the two because it looks too sincere.

On the other hand, let's have the conflict that occurs when Takahiro discovers his relationship with Usagi and his reaction.

IT WAS SPECTACULAR.

Because it was realistic, he didn't accept everything at the first time. He even gave a look of pure hatred to Usagi, who is his best friend, and took his little brother elsewhere.

I feel, somehow or other this is no longer about gender. Takahiro doesn't care about the issue of Misaki being with another man, but the simple fact that Misaki has managed to make a person who is not him, become someone precious leaves him too shocked.

I feel that if Usagi were a woman, the same reaction would happen. Takahiro doesn't understand how this guy was able to get Misaki to express his likes and dislikes with such conviction, something that even he couldn't achieve.

This hurts Takahiro, because he hates to know that despite all the effort he made, Usagi managed to bring out a part of Misaki that even he, as an older brother, did not know. It is hard to assume and for that very reason he is perplexed.

Also, there's no denying that he even feels guilty, since it was thanks to Takahiro that Misaki stayed to live with Usagi and, consequently, the relationship was established.

Which brings us to this other thing:

I applauded at this moment.

Simply spectacular.

Are we in front of one of the best sentences in the whole manga? I think so, because in this sentence Takahiro shows us that even he himself feels guilty of what Misaki has suffered.

He knows that one of Misaki's shortcomings is to apologize even for breathing, besides being aware that the reasons for this behavior are a result of the difficult childhood he had. And more than that, is the issue that Misaki is never going to feel totally “forgiven” for the death of his parents; we all know that they passed away from driving fast because Misaki was sick and this fact ended up marking Misaki for life.

Takahiro is aware that the weaknesses Misaki has are because of that. He never expresses what he feels for fear of a similar situation happening again due to a need of his, he apologizes for everything and tries to cope with difficulties too great for anyone.

The simple fact that Takahiro told Misaki that if he has a conviction (love for Usagi), he should hold on to it, is extremely important. Because it is the biggest gesture in which Takahiro realizes Misaki is letting go of that feeling of guilt little by little.

Now how does it affect him to know that his best friend betrayed his trust?

One image speaks for itself:

You know what? The fact that Takahiro hit Usagi made me infinitely happy. Partly because it was the punch I wanted to give him in the first few chapters, but in another because it seems like a very human reaction to me.

Yeah, I guess I'm a fan of human reactions.

Now, let's understand Takahiro a bit. He fully trusted his friend, for Misaki to study in the desired university; no one would ever think that your best male friend would end up with your little brother, who is the light of your days.

In Takahiro's own eyes, Usagi took advantage of Misaki; of Misaki's shortcomings when he was still “innocent”.

Something he's not entirely wrong about because coff coff first chapter coff coff.

At this point Takahiro would feel too guilty if Misaki's relationship leads to having painful consequences for his little brother, because he somehow “introduced” Usagi.

I love that Takahiro has told him that he will never forgive Usagi if she hurts Misaki, because that makes family a priority for Takahiro and that no matter what, he will always support Misaki. He treasures him, and as he has continuously repeated; Misaki is his greatest pride.

Anyway, Takahiro of my favorite characters 💖

-✦───────────-✧

Choice of favorite chapters/moments pt.1:

To no one's surprise, I consider the best scenes to be from the 3rd season equivalence of JR's anime.

So I'll give a brief description of the situation, my feelings, and the importance in the plot.

Misaki's 22nd birthday.

It is not difficult for me to infer why this moment is transcendental. First of all, there is the simple fact that during this moment Usagi understands that the fundamental thing is the trust he must build with Misaki and, on the other hand, there is the mere fact that it is a birthday celebration.

Birthdays, although they may seem stupid to many people, are actually something all too human that people do to get closer to each other. It celebrates one more year of the birthday boy or girl's life and wishes for many more.

Misaki's 22nd birthday, marks the beginning of the last arc, where important issues end and begin; such as college and the Usagi/Misaki relationship is put into further question by Misaki's older brother.

Marbles

It happens during Misaki's 22nd birthday itself, but I consider it a beautiful moment to ignore.

Basically, Misaki teaches Usagi that with marbles you can make 3 wishes and Misaki later realizes that she made the same wish as Usagi.

This makes it clear how such a simple custom as making wishes on marbles can actually have a big impact on a person's relationship.

Without a doubt, Misaki always surprises us with how much he makes us feel, with things as simple as that. Nothing extravagant, just sincere love.

Misaki realizes that he wants to live with Usagi.

Then Misaki's older brother starts to pressure him, saying that it is no longer appropriate for a boy, who is finishing college, to continue living as a “kept man” in Usagi's house.

In this context, Misaki is forced to spend a weekend with his brother and family, realizing how much he misses Usagi.

This chapter is actually very important, as something rather peculiar happens. We know that Misaki's older brother is one of the most significant people in her life and, despite having lived with him all her childhood, we realize that the four years or so that he has lived with Usagi have been enough for Misaki to no longer feel comfortable living in her older brother's home life.

Misaki realizes how much Usagi is missing in his daily life, how such a small action as spending a couple of days without each other is already too much.

They will say it's dependency… But I would call it.

Coexistence.

Misaki no longer sees Usagi's apartment as something foreign to his life, before it even felt uncomfortable. Now, he sees that place as the home he needs to recharge his strength. Misaki now realizes that he no longer wants to keep lying to his family about his reasons for living with Usagi.

Misaki wants to live his life with Usagi, in that home that the two of them have been forming little by little.

Clad in fond memories and overflowing emotions.

Which ends up triggering the following vignette, which I decided to include at this point because it is a direct effect of the above.

Bonus: Misaki with kiki.

I include this bonus because it is too adorable. It makes for a total icon. Just that, Misaki with a bow tie is the best. It's in these moments that I understand why Usagi is so crazy about him.

Who wouldn't be!!!

-✦───────────-✧

Honorable Mention:

Okay, this is the third ending of the anime and my favorite song of the anime. Simply spectacular. I highly recommend not only this song but all the Luck Life songs that are available on Spotify and on YouTube itself.

Now, a brief analysis of the song and its relationship with JR.

This is Misaki's song.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why I like it so much.

I could imagine Misaki in a karaoke singing it to Usagi. Because the song reflects how hard it is to express what he feels.

Even if I can't find the right words/ I want to tell you/ 'Cause just wishing won't change a thing./ I can't put it well,/ But I'll pour my heart into this voice/ So don't laugh - just listen.

This refrain aside, it reminds me a lot of the marble episode, how Misaki wants to be with Usagi forever. Sure he wants it, but even so he knows it won't change anything, so he decides to pluck up his courage and take the bull by the horns. He realizes that he can no longer be ambiguous or delay the inevitable.

Me pregunto si tú también/ tienes noches en las que piensas en mí.

We go back to the chapter of Misaki spending the night at his brother's house, feeling devastated at not being with Usagi. We all know that Usagi also felt the same way. In itself, I think this perfectly reflects the comfort level they have reached.

In this changing world, with the two of us unchanging/ You'd be by my side.

I have analyzed it throughout the post, but in short this is the main goal of the characters. To stay by each other's side forever no matter how much the world changes, even if they get older, even if there are new conflicts.

To stand by each other and face the modern world that changes without waiting for anyone. No matter what happens, Misaki wants to face that future with Usagi.

Do you see how much can be extracted from such a great theme song as this one?

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊✧°•

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊   ✧｡˚    ✦¤

┊         ┊       ┊   ✫•○

┊         ┊       ✦°•

┊✦°   ┊

✧ °¤    ┊ .  ˚

˚✩

Okay, so Tumblr won't let me post so many images and this is getting too long. I can say that this is the end of this first part of the exhaustive analysis of Junjou Romantica.

I'll be glad if you tell me if you share my opinion, if you think there's something I left out or, by the way, I'm wrong. I tried to make this publication looking at various perspectives and from a rather critical point of view, although, clearly, there are many things that I was influenced by due to my preferences.

In the next part I will continue with my favorite moments, I will talk about the secondary couples, I will make my predictions, I will also say other things I don't like and conclusions. If you have any suggestions or want me to take any specific topic from the anime/manga, in the next post.

I'll be happy to elaborate on it!

I hope you liked it! If so a reblog and a heart is appreciated.

[sfaghetti]

I honestly feel so bad for Miri

eventually she'll have to know that both her bio dad and mom were killed and it's like, she never met her bio dad so it probably won't affect her (and if they tell her he was a human trafficker, probably even less chances of her caring about it) but she did know her mom and she clearly loved her mom. and after a year she finally reunites with her and they have like, a week together before her mom dies. and now she's either gonna believe that her mom abandoned her again or they're gonna tell her the truth that her mom was killed because Shigeki sent after her and I don't know how she'll handle that

[ridiasfangirlings]

Sarumi in Hogwarts AU where the classic "they were best friends until they drifted apart because of their houses" thing happens, but one day Fushimi overhears a bunch of purebloods bullying Yata for being a muggle born. That didn't used to happen because Yata was always hanging around Fushimi, the only son of a powerful pureblood family, but now that they're apart, other pureblood kids pretty much see Yata as easy prey. How does Fushimi react?

“No gets to insult Misaki except me,” I assume :P Imagine this as Hogwarts-style AU where maybe Fushimi is able to change houses mid-year, he’s sorted into the bravery house Homra but switches to the nerd house Scepter mid way through because he hates the loud idiots of Homra, he hates their lazy upperclassman Mikoto and most of all he hates the way Misaki always stares at Mikoto with shining eyes. Yata is a muggleborn who has magic, he and Fushimi met when they were young and Fushimi recognized it right away. Maybe he even tried to secretly teach Yata some small tricks, nothing big enough that the Ministry would notice underage magic, and for pure blood Fushimi this was the first time in his life that he actually liked having magic. After seeing Yata’s gaze drawn away by someone else though Fushimi gets all bitter and lets upperclassman Munakata lure him away, breaking things off with Yata in the usual fashion (i.e., badly).

One day Fushimi is walking past the courtyard when he hears Yata yelling at someone. Fushimi grins, thinking he can go bother Misaki, but then his expression darkens when he sees Yata is surrounded by a group of guys from another dorm. The guys are taunting Yata for being a worthless muggleborn, saying Yata doesn’t even realize how lucky he was having a pure blood like Fushimi sticking up for him all these years when he’s so disgusting. Yata’s pissed and clearly ready to start punching (Yata is absolutely the guy who forgets he has a wand and punches instead) but when he tries the guys just parry with magic and he keeps falling to the ground. Yata is obviously frustrated as the guys start insulting him again, talking about how he’ll never amount to anything and insulting his parents and Yata’s clearly getting increasingly angrier.

Suddenly the guys find that they can’t talk, tearing at their mouths. Yata looks confused until Fushimi walks over, saying he heard annoying noise so he shut it up. Yata momentarily looks hopeful, like Saruhiko just came to save him, but instead Fushimi gives this twisted grin as he’s like oh it was just a useless muggle chihuahua yapping. Yata’s fists clench and Fushimi laughs, like look at poor little Misaki who can’t do anything without purebloods protecting him. Yata tells him to shut up and that he didn’t need Fushimi’s help, Fushimi is like that’s amusing Misaki that you think I was trying to help you. He says it’s amazing Yata even managed to come to this school, if he’s not careful headmaster Ichigen will realize he let some muggleborn idiot into the school and will expel him, Yata didn’t even deserve to be here in the first place. Yata’s ready for a fight but some of the professors have spotted them and Fushimi clicks his tongue, saying he doesn’t have time to play with people who won’t amount to anything. He does ‘forget’ to remove the spell from the other bullies though, until they run after him pointing at their mouths. Fushimi clicks his tongue again and says they can stay quiet until he feels like undoing the spell or learn to counteract it themselves, that will teach them a lesson about bullying Fushimi’s prey.

[marukrawler]

So we know how you feel about Mr Masaki, but what about Runo's mom?

she's a nice mom!!! unfortunately not as present as mr. misaki and also conveniently nowhere to be seen when the waitresses are being oogled at. . .in a perfect world, she wouldn't let that slide.

also the eng dub line about her needing therapy because her husband is weirdly obsessed with their daughter and completely ignores his wife. . .yeah. tigress kill that man NOW!!!!

[shockersalvage]

Salvage Showcase - Mukuro Ikusaba....'s Cult

Back to Killer Killer, home of Danganronpa's most wasted potential in terms of characters, settings and concepts.

Last time we spoke of Ted Chikatilo and how the writers didn't want him to be anything beyond an Ultimate mad bomber. So this time we have the penultimate villains of Killer Killer: the Cult of Mukuro Ikusaba!

Summary

Like with many villains and characters from Killer Killer, the cult's background prior to the events of the manga is unknown. What is known is that they are women who are very devoted to one of the Despair Sisters - Mukuro Ikusaba. It's to the point that they all dressed in exact copies of her old school uniform and modify themselves to look like her physically (by some method anyway).

The cult first appeared following a report that the deceased Mukuro Ikusaba broke out and was attacking the 8th Branch. When Takumi, Misaki and Shuji arrive they found Ruruka's security detail slaughtered and confront Mukuro. But she isn't alone, she is with an entire horde of lookalikes that attack them. But, despite their efforts, none of the Mukuro's are a match for Takumi and they begin to suffer heavy losses. Takumi is pretty angry since he considers them a bunch of cheap knockoffs that couldn't hope to compare to the real Mukuro. He gives them a 0/100 for their murders (putting on the same level as Kenji Tsuruhashi).

It's during this fight that Misaki is really grappling with the idea of Takumi being Killer Killer, not wanting him to kill them. She even goes out of her way to knock a few out with muscle relaxant ammo so that they could be taken in without need for killing...only for Takumi to save her from the last batch by slicing them in half. Confirming that he is Killer Killer once and for all in her mind....

And then a second later she gets stabbed by Shuji. Turns out he hired the cult as a form of shock therapy for Takumi, to get him to stop being Killer Killer, but that failed. He was going to kill Misaki, but several of the Future Foundation Directors and Ikue Dogami arrive on the scene. Shuji escapes by detonating a bomb inside the pocket of a Mukuro and using the explosion to run away. If the cult wasn't completely killed by Takumi, the survivors that were knocked out would have been arrested. No matter what, they are out of commission for the rest of the story.

The cult is pretty straightforward and all hold pretty much the same demeanor. They are a bunch of women that worship Mukuro Ikusaba and imitate her down to the T. They seem to act as mercenaries given Shuji was able to get their aid in his plot, and hold immense skill given just one is able to slaughter numerous security guards without effort. However, against Killer Killer, or even someone skilled with a gun, they are able to be taken down en masse, showing they still lag behind the original Mukuro. In battle, they are hyper focused on killing anyone in their path, even when hurt or other cultists die. They will not give up until someone has either killed them or knocked them out.

Rundown

In Killer Killer, if I were to provide it a theme, it would have to be Passion vs Shallowness. To have true drive for your profession and do things out of love for what you really want to do. That's Takumi's whole deal with his murders and what he criticizes the villains of Killer Killer for lacking, to varying degrees. Their passion isn't for murder, but using it as a means for their own goals.

In the cultists case, their Passion is Mukuro Ikusaba. Sadly, we never get a reason why they worship her, but it's clear they hold her in some mahor esteem given their appearance and actions. They are utterly devoted to the late Ultimate Soldier and giving it their all for her, even if it costs them greatly...

But Takumi ranks them 0. Putting them, in the same vein as Kenji who is really the epitome of the Shallowness theme. He kills out of a means for an end. No love for it at all besides the backlash it can cause others. No regards to people's lives, especially the one he stole. So why is the cult, who clearly hold a strong passion for something, strongly disliked by Takumi?

Well, he says it best:

They may love Mukuro, but they hold no true love for their actions. They're fangirls that commit atrocities to be like their idol, but with the case of some fans, utterly miss the point of what she's about in their quest to be like her. (Ironically, so is Takumi, but that is something for another time...). If Kenji is Shallowness to the extreme of just doing something for the practical benefit, the cultists of Mukuro are Shallowness to the extent that they are doing it out of obligation. 'If they want to be like Mukuro then clearly they have to kill whoever is in their sights!' In Takumi's eyes, it pretty much just reduced murder as apart of something to check off on a list if they want to be like someone's replica of all things. An extreme offense in Takumi's eyes, which is why he outrights fails him.

That isn't to say they don't succeed in being like their idol in some degree. Both the cultists and Mukuro were used as means to an end by the Masterminds of their respective entries. What separates them in turn is that Junko did legitimately love her sister, getting a euphoric sense of despair for killing someone she loved with all her heart (just like she got before when she killed her boyfriend).

Shuji, though, did not give a feather about them beyond their use in potentially getting Takumi to quit being Killer Killer. He leaves any potential survivors to be arrested, if they weren't slaughtered by Takumi, and even blows up a cultists body to escape from being arrested. While their idol was at least loved enough by her killer who used Mukuro's aid to alter their world forever, the imitations end up as just collateral damage in Shuji's pipe dream that only resulted in both Mastermind and his hired goons demises. It's the worst end by a long shot for them.

On a minor note, the cultists being taken care of so easily by both Takumi, and even dispatched by Misaki, also wraps back around the dilemma with the Madarai clan and the Despair Sisters issue of quality for quality. Danganronpa is a series that values individuals talent and being unique (even it can be detrimental). Trying to mimic someone else, while it can throw people off for a bit, will never work against someone genuinely being original and just makes yourself predictable to being outplayed. Again and again. It's funny how in their quest to be like Mukuro, the wound up making the same mistake Mukuro criticizes the Madarai of doing.

Personal Thoughts

As a concept, I love the Mukuro Cult! When it comes to Ultimate Despair, while it very much makes sense that Junko would be the head honcho revered by its members, the fact Mukuro (essentially its co-founder) was left by the wayside was a bit sad, though it made perfect sense.

But these guys? The fact Mukuro herself had an entire cult dedicated to her is amazing! Like with the Warriors of Hope for Junko, it gives the feeling that these girls were larger than life and had clear influence that still wreaked havoc on society even beyond the grave! It's a excellent idea...

But like with most things in Killer Killer, it's extremely undercooked. While Another Episode goes very in-depth to show why the Warriors worship Junko and love her to the point of being inspired by her to make their paradise/being a devious pickle gremlin, the cult gets nothing. No real reason why they worship Mukuro or how they got to perfectly look like her. They're just fakers who can't compare to Takumi and go down after pissing him off.

While not as bad as Ted's deal, the writing feels like they just wanted a shock factor for their brief screentime, rather than legitimately explore the concept in any meaningful capacity. What if they were women who were taken in by the Remnants, broken by society and given meaning by becoming Mukuro? Or maybe they somehow admired Mukuro being sacrificed for someone else, and wanted to become her to get a fate like that? Maybe they were girls that Mukuro ended up saving while during her Fenrir days so becoming her and carrying on her legacy, if misguided, was their way of honoring her?

There's so much you can do with this concept...and it went to waste just as fast. It's a pity, but what can you do?

Aftermath

Concerning this Killer Killer showcase from last time, while I do still believe Ted is just a flash without substance character, I also feel that I did lean a bit too hard with it in terms of my rundown and personal thoughts (I didn't even give the theme for Killer Killer for last time). So I wanted to be a bit more structured again and dial back more of my dislike of Killer Killer as a whole. Is it still the worst of the series to me? Yes, and I will call it out for that, but I don't want that to really get too much in the way of analysis for the casts of these guys. I hope this works out much better!

[k-kizkhalifa]

junjo romantica s2ep9 --

Alright my guys, let me just preface this with: i have about three hours of sleep the last two days. i am exhausted. i am sorry. i can't sleep. and i wanna watch this.

HERE WE GO: I srsly don't remember what has happened/been happening/i need to go back and read my notes. hold on.

oh it was a miyagi episode. i have no idea whats going on anymore. lets just watch this.

oh damn okay, usagi is going over sea. LOL AT USAGI NOT KNOWING HOW TO DATE. BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also, can you please take Misaki on a date like that Usagi. fk man. STEP UP FOR OUR BOY.

LMFAO MISAKI GOING TO TEACH USAGI HOW TO DATE. also, awe at the usagi practically mentioning that all of misaki's dates have been with him. i see you usagi-san.

i love their red flag relationship (i need more therapy!)

awe misaki being a sweet heart. oh look he isn't a being a sweetheart and running from usagi.

OH I FORGOT MISAKI RAN INTO HIS DAD. oh goodness misaki is being awful hard on usagi. ughhhhhhh. just let usagi suffer in silence, baby. oh man, usagi is so out of it on the date misaki planned. MISAKI YOU LITTLE SHIT.

OH NO THE DATE WAS GOING SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Usagi's family showing up all the time! GOODLORDGOAWAY.

LOL I LAUGHED TO HARD AT MISAKI SAYING: if you take a ducky bath naked things will work out. (boy you could have handled that a lot better.) damn misaki trying to save their whole fmaily

oh god. this man and his, "i love yous". usami's brother is just a fkn creep. NOWAKI I NEED YOU TO KICK HIS FKN ASS RIGHT NOW.

oh misaki always so brave to express your love to everyone but usagi. OH THEY'RE BACK IN THE FERRISS WHEEL.

what. a date that went well. and now usagi is triyng to dump him. I AM SCREAMING. why can't i remember this season????

no misaki explaining himself. boy is in deep. usagi do you realize this is how he says he loves you! you idiot. please be easy on this young boy.

misaki taking --- HOLY FUCK HE SAID I LOVE YOU. I AM SCREAMING.

alright finally we can get some love from misaki (and gather homie just likes to play hard to get... IM JUST SAYING.) he really did it, y'all. he really looked at usagi and said: bro this is what is wrong with you? if i didn't want you, i wouldn't be here. i LOVE YOU USAGI. *CLAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

love a whole steamy scene y'all. look how cute they are. oh goodness.

[lgcmanager]

STAR TOP PET CARE ( SUMMER 2024 )

SCHEDULE TYPE: ONE TIME GIG

legacy entertainment's artist filming schedule for KBS' STAR TOP PET CARE is finally here! while the show presents itself as a reality show where various legacy artists will run a pet salon and daycare, its goal is also to promote adoption of rescued and abandoned pets! the daycare itself doesn't only take pets for the day or a couple of days when their owners are travelling, but also shelters various animals.

the group will be divided in two and further divided in pairs. one group will be in charge of grooming various animals, while another group will be in charge of playing with them. those in the "play" teams are further tasked with doing their best to show the public the good points of each animals to help with adoptions

GROOM TEAMS

KANG YOOJOON and KWON SENA: give their first baths and claw cuts to a group of 6 korean jindo puppies now ready for adoption

MOON JINO and YANG AERI: give a bath and haircut to a 3 years old husky who ran away from his owner at the park and got sprayed by a stink badger

PARK TAEHA and SEO MINSEO: flea bath 3 newly rescued 4 weeks old kittens that just arrived at the shelter

PLAY TEAMS

KIM CHERRY and PARK SEOJIN: the cats have a new play room (example here), take 6 of them there and play with them

LEE YUSHIN and KURAMOTO MISAKI: an overwheight cat needs help losing weight, take him to his swimming therapy session and assist with the various exercises in the water

SU PARKER and YOO HAEMIN: teach tricks to the dogs at the daycare (around 5 dogs, all inclined to understand commands)

REQUIREMENTS

CARE: write one thread with your partner while the cameras are rolling. for every four (4) replies (two posts per muns, 8 lines minimum) you’ll receive +3 VARIETY, +2 NOTORIETY for up to +9 VARIETY, 6 NOTORIETY !

ADOPTION VIDEO: write a 200+ word solo of your muse filming a video promoting adoption for the shelter's youtube channel for +5 SKILLS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE, +2 NOTORIETY !

make sure to use the hashtag lgc:toppetcare on your threads and solos !  to validate your skill points and collect your notoriety points, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before SEPTEMBER 21, 2024 11:59 EDT.

TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙  STAR TOP PET CARE 001 - CARE +3/6/9 variety, +2/4/6 notoriety [ LINK ] - ADOPTION VIDEO: 5 skills points distribution, +2 notoriety [ LINK ]

[chippuyon]

I think the whole thing is complicated, Miri ended up looking for his father all alone because her mother basically abandoned her. And his father was a terrible person in every sense possible.

And given how there’s not a lot of emphasis on his death on the show, I doubt it’ll be a focus on Miri’s turmoil later on. She never asked for another papa.

She has two dads already, and isn’t looking for another one.

(Besides he did aimed a gun to her HEAD)

Misaki on the other hand…

She was selfish, she said it herself, to the very end. But she did love Miri

In the end, What Miri wanted, was to all of them to live together. Unachievable, but it does suggest the best compromise would have been a split custody.

I doubt they’ll keep the secret for long, they’ll have to tell her Misaki died, and much later on, how she died.

It’ll be a hard pill to shallow, and it’ll change their relationship forever, but I do think the message of them being a family despite it all, how this truly was the best they could do for her, how they CAN make her happy and change, is what matters.

Part of growing up is realizing your parents aren’t perfect, far from it. That they have done shitty things before. And that at some point, they made a grave mistake while raising you.

But I do believe they can pull out of this one

(With a LOT of therapy, kyu can find one who can attend her without ratting out her parents lmao)

Yeah I don't think Miri will be too hung up on her bio dad, but again emotions are complicated. She'll still go through a shock and maybe even grief, even if bio dad's a piece of shit. The more pressing concern would be the reveal that her adoptive parents murdered her bio dad. I can see Miri having trouble processing this, especially once she's older.

Agree about Misaki, she's flawed and has selfish motivations but deep down she does care for Miri, and Miri cares for her. A split custody would've been the ideal outcome.

They're all gonna need therapy in the future 😭 Let's pray and hope for the best 🙏

[ask-nome-tatsunagi]

about to drop something a friend of mine, @hessadvv , came up with here. since it was related to the tatsunagis, I thought Nome would maybe (probably not) enjoy it (meru might tho)

it's long and entirely copy pasted

Great. So,the tatsunagi family has a team of therapists, that are aware of cray and it's existence. They are the ones that keep the peace,and slam some sense into takuto's head (love him,but he's insane) somewhere between season 1 and 2,they took a vacation to Italy or something, somewhere that doesn't have vanguard,and that's when shit hit the fan(didn't want to. They knew that disaster would strike. But takuto argued that it was just for a couple of months,and that he could make sure that earth and cray weren't going to get destroyed......we can both agree that he miserably failed. Cut off all communication,so these therapists had no idea about the events that transpired during the asia circuit and LJ. Either they come back at the tail end of season 3, land at the airport,have this moment of"ahh japan! it's good to be back!"with the sun shining and see the staff cardfighting with weird tattoos, get outside and see everything burning. OR coming back a bit later and takuto(we'll pretend he's alive,I haven't thought that far yet)greets them at the airport, and we get a chapter where he threatens everyone not to mention the events of AS and LJ so he doesn't have to deal with the"I told you so!)and the scolding he'll get. But someone slips. Whichever version you think is funnier.either way, Once our REAL team of heroes finds out. They ask(read: demand)that takuto round up every one personally involved,and Make them individual therapy appointments to work through what happened. Non negotiable. Takuto sends out invitations for a"celebration"and then drops this bomb on them because he doesn't have a choice and he finds it funny (don't worry the therapists will deal with him. But they're used to it so they're focusing on the rest) featuring:kai jumping out of the nearest window. Misaki just leaving. Kamui and kyou having no idea what therapy even is. Chris arguing that he's a genius and doesn't need it. tetsu breathing a sigh of relief. The tatsunagi sisters giggling at everyone's reactions when one of TT(the therapists)turns around and announces that they'll be getting therapy too,etc

Basically,each team gets a therapist(Al4,Q4,etc),and individual sessions with the therapists assigned to them. And then the sessions start and they quickly turn from"helping these teenagers get over saving the world/trying to destroy it"into "why does everyone of these kids have childhood trauma?!" As the therapists realize that all of them have issues that started way before they even got into cardfight vanguard.

Aichi's bullying and his dejection at being a "failure" of an older brother to Emi and guilt over her feeling like she has to protect him. Kai's parents death/disappearance and the feeling of being unwanted by anyone afterwards . Ren's psychotic personality and abusive relationship with his father. Asaka's unhealthy dependance on him. Misaki ostracization growing up because of her photographic memory and her parents' death. Leon's life growing up on the island, trapped with nowhere to go. Chris drowning under the pressure of being the best.miwa feeling like he didn't enough for kai His teammates having to be in his shadow. Etc.

First appointment: featuring:kai glaring and not saying anything for two hours. Ren cheerfully avoiding any questions. The therapist immediately clocking Aichi as a bullying victim.(I know I talk about Aichi's bullying past alot. But it is truly important to me. We don't see the extent of it. But considering every flashback we see of child Aichi he is COVERED in bruises and also that he switched schools,I think I can safely assume it was terrible. to me switching schools is the VERY last option. I would have liked to see side effects from that, even after a couple years. Because bullying isn't something most people easily get over. I am lucky enough not to have been ever put into that situation,but still. I would have liked to see it Like,not really trusting the teachers at his new school, because he saw them completely ignoring his situation,or dismissing it as"kids being kids" while kids can be extremely cruel without understanding the consequences. Hunched over trying to make himself smaller to not draw any attention. Him potentially running into some of his old bullies in highschool,etc. i tried touching on it in my fic but I didn't do that well. It sucks that the only time it was ever mentioned again was when naoki was introduced. As he apologized for not stepping in. I don't think Aichi had the saddest childhood in the series. Far from it. But it would have made a good plot point. Sorry I am rampeling).

Not Taking any of Ren's bias. Staring kai down. And being badass. And then realizing the that team dynamic between Q4 is extremely disfunctinal and pretty toxic. The worst of the bunch, which is a shock to everyone. So that leads to team sessions being implemented. And that leads more then once into a screaming match between Aichi and Kai.(I wanted him to call kai out on his bullshit here) also there are group sessions will all four of the psyqualia users which also end up in screaming matches between leon and ren,and ren and aichi.

I just realized I forgot about LM. We'll pretend that their memory was deleted and this just happened post canon.

That is actually a GENIUS idea because that's literally how it would work. Like you can't go to any therapist to talk to them about having gone through like 4 apocalypses, you need a specialised team for that. I'd think it was Nome's idea because his siblings grew desensitised to all that mess meanwhile he, who never directly participated in any of that, was like "Hey. What the hell. Sending you all to special therapy right now."

- meru

[andromedaexists]

Nine People You Want To Know Better

I was tagged more than once in this!!! Thank you to @/saintedseraph @/artbyeloquent @/bardictales and @/writingpotato07 (listen, you left an open tag and I just wanted to throw you on here because you're a really good friend and I think this is fun)

—three ships.

oooo having to pick just 3 is hard. Let's go Soukoku (Chuuya x Dazai, Bungou Stray Dogs), DabiHawks (MHA, though I don't watch it), and ThanZag (Hades Game). Honorable mention to Hunter x Therapy, though. Boy needs it. (Owl House)

—first ever ship.

now, if you know me, you know that I have the memory of a fucking goldfish. I don't remember what I had for lunch yesterday (like I am legitimately - RAMEN) let alone what I liked eons ago. If I had to think of the first ship that I can remember, though, I think it was Sarumi (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki, K: Return of Kings). I actually have Yata tattooed on my arm lol, he's the one who helped me come to terms with my gender.

—last song i listened to.

If we count the background music that I listen to while doing schoolwork, then Hot Milk by Snail's House. If we're just counting regular music, then DAYWALKER! by MGK and CORPSE. or maybe it was In My Room by ICP??? i don't remember lol

—last movie i watched.

I watch movies??? jk, i think it was oh god i'm actually blanking uhhhh i think the last movie i attempted to watch was the Weird Al Yankovich one, but I couldn't finish it.

—currently reading.

Angels Before Man by Rafael Nicolás. It is really good! I'm currently on my second read-through of it because I want to really give it the love and attention it deserves after I ran through it in two days the first time!

—currently watching.

Dimension 20's NeverAfter. Locke and I are watching it together! (though I may or may not have watched through the episodes as they released so I know what's going on beforehand)

—currently consuming.

Hot Chocolate. Someone said I'm not allowed to drink Monster anymore so I gotta find pleasure in life elsewhere I guess

—currently craving.

Monster. I really shouldn't have mentioned it. oops

—tagging.

@/crypticcodexcreations @/smol-feralgremlin @/ghost-town-story @/inkspellangel @/isherwoodj @/lockejhaven and @/authoralexharvey (soft tag, of course. I'm not sure who all has already done this.)

[risingfire17-the-weeb-trash]

40 Day Anime Challenge Day 10- A character you despise with all your heart and soul: Almost everyone in Welcome to the NHK (2006)

I was excited to watch this. It had great reviews, and fans raved that it was a realistic and positive portrayal of people with mental health issues. As someone with these myself, of course I was excited.

But here are my thoughts after watching the anime: 

1) It is not a realistic portrayal of people with mental illness, because the characters are not given much characterization beyond the problematic behaviors of their disorders, no redeeming qualities, and very little character development that was rushed at the end.

2) It is not a positive portrayal of people with mental illness at all. Once again, they are almost entirely reduced to stereotypes, and they’re pretty terrible people. If this is the representation people like me, who has put in a lifetime of therapy and self-reflection to continue overcoming my issues and have healthy relationships, then I fear what those without mental illness would think of me based on what they see in these individuals.

So let’s get to why I despise the characters, yeah? (Spoilers ahead)

Tatsuhiro Sato, our protagonist. 

I don’t have a problem with the fact that he is a NEET. I have a problem with the fact that he never got professional help. I have a problem with the fact that he lied to his parents to keep getting their money, and cursed them when they finally cut him off. I have a problem with the way he treated his friends, yelling, name calling, throwing things, and then guilting them into letting him mooch off of them. I have a problem with his attraction to Misaki. First, because she is a teenager, and instead of staying away from her so he doesn’t act on this, he continues to spend time with her, has her pretend to be his girlfriend at one point, uses her as a cook and housekeeper, and ultimately confesses his love and starts dating her. The second reason is that until a rushed confession in the last episode that may not even be genuine because he said it to literally talk her off the ledge, he was only attracted to her physically and because she would do anything he wanted. He told her multiple times that she was a nuisance, a nag, had a terrible personality, etc. He belittled and bullied her through most of the series.

Misaki Nakahara, our wannabe hero. 

Clearly, she’s a struggling teen and needs help. What she does not need to do is berate and enable a grown man that she only latches on to because looking down on him helps her feel good about herself (which she admitted to halfway through the series and never worked at changing afterward) She coerces him to go along with her “treatment plan” rather than encouraging him to seek actual professional help. She nags at him, bursts into his home, and often pushes him farther out of his comfort zone than he can handle at the time. She enables his codependency when she starts cooking and cleaning for him, all the while scolding him for not doing it himself, so he learns that he is incompetent and should just let her do everything and accept her criticism when he does. I’ll give her a bit more of a pass than the other characters, because unlike the other characters behaving like children, she is literally a child. But she is still a toxic and manipulative person and her problematic behavior needs to be addressed by her guardians (and a licensed therapist)

Hitomi Kashiwa. 

This girl was the catalyst for Sato having a breakdown, always talking about conspiracies. When she comes back into his life, she asks him to join a group she is part of for a trip, not telling him that they are all there to commit suicide! She takes her vulnerable junior, who, despite all his flaws, is at least trying to get himself together, and exposes him to a group exacerbate his depression and he almost gets killed because of it. I haven’t read the manga, but I am told she tries to have an affair with Sato after she is married with a kid. (And the person she is married to, Akira Jogasaki, is so sweet and supportive, he’s the only character I like in this show, so it really hurts to see her betray him like that.)

Kauru Yamazaki, Sato’s best friend, giving otakus everywhere a bad name.

 This guy is supposed to be the “functional” one of the group, being the only one who has a job and is in school to pursue a meaningful career. That’s great and all, but he has a shit personality. His life revolves around perving on 2D women, and complaining that real women can never compare because of the imperfections that make them human, like having their own personalities, motives, and goals. He voices this in a way that is very misogynistic, painting women as manipulative. When he finally starts to fall for a human girl, he pursues her after being rejected, gets mad at her for interacting with other males, and has Sato videotape his confession to her without her knowledge for reference for their game. After moving home, he dates a girl who looks just like her, implying that he does not love this girl, but just sees her as a stand-in. And this is the guy Sato goes to for advice, ugh.

Finally, Megumi Kobayashi. 

After finding out about Sato’s issues, she lies to him and manipulates him into joining a toxic MLM scheme. Even when he tries to get out, she tricks him multiple times into buying her stuff. Look, I feel sorry for her circumstances, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior.

This show was painful to watch. (Even with Akira Jogasaki carrying the whole show on his back) I don’t know if the manga did any better and never will because I’m never touching this series again. I hate these people. Time to search for an anime that is actually a realistic and positive portrayal of people with mental illness.

[abyssmalice]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

NAME: Flower

PRONOUNS: she/her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: tumblr IMs or discord if you have me on there!!

NAME OF MUSE(S): -Genshin: Tonia (Harbinger AU & Abyss AU ; main muses) -TWEWY: Shiki Misaki (Composer AU ; on hiatus) -Original: May Circletti (OC ; fandomless with multiple verses ; low activity)

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):   lmaooooo i guess like?? ten years roughly, give or take?? i was very on-off with RP due to personal life stuff, but all of it was on this hellsite.

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: tumblr

BEST EXPERIENCE: i always enjoy the shenanigans that happen when a bunch of muses are put in the same room and some nonsense results from it - the sheer character interaction is fun as is!!

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: extremely aesthetic writing—like, to the point where it’s unreadable. to me at the baseline, RP is written correspondence; if i can’t even Read and therefore understand what’s going on, it’s not fun anymore. as such, this also extends to custom blog layouts—if i can’t intuitively figure out where your god damn navigation is then you can kiss my interest goodbye. like, you don’t have to be minimalist but please, Where Is Your Page 2 Button

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: fluff and angst for me!!!!!! i also wildly spin on the comedy axis bc dash shenanigans are just too fun sometimes

PLOTS OR MEMES: both!! tho i prefer plotting a longer thread out since my focus is on character development with my muses.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: long, unfortunately. i type too much.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: any time i feel like it, rip

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): kinda depends on the muse. of my current muses, my OC May and my Harbinger Tonia are very similar to me (i.e. are pessimist, cynical, probably need therapy), but the rest are hit or miss in varying departments. essentially, the more polite and considerate of people my muse is, the more they Aren’t like me lmao

tagged by: @eonsadrft​ !! tagging: you!!!!!! bc im too lazy to tag-

[unfocused-always]

Chapter VI: Please, arrest me!

Summary: Yui loses solid 10 years of her life. Misaki makes a few discoveries.

A/N: It's long. Like 5k long. Idk why, I was typing on my phone, and here we are.Enjoy!

The sound of her heart thundering in her ears almost drowned the insisted knocking at the door. Misaki spared one panicked glance over her shoulder and strained her senses to catch the sign of life inside. True, the visit was unannounced, but she didn't have many options left.

Just as she was about to rattle again, there was a subtle shuffling behind, and the heavy wooden doors swung open. Inside stood a petite lady, looking over her with concern evident on her face.

"I'm sorry for the trouble but... I don't know what to do. Please," her voice cracked. "Please, help me." 

The lady regarded her for a second, only to nod to herself, seemingly making up her mind. She pulled her inside with more force than Misaki ever expected from such a frail arm. She immediately bolted the door and hurried over to the shaking girl.

***

Misaki was moving before she even realized what she was doing. She quickly squirmed from Laito's grasp and bolted to the hall, the vampire hot on her heels. She felt somewhat dazed, her legs still unsteady from having her blood sucked.

Whatever came over you just now,  she sheeted internally,  you- you are in serious need of therapy! Look,  persisted the logical part of her brain,  I know, you have your little fantasies, and he played perfectly into one of them, okay, fine. But next time, keep in mind that he's higher than you in the food chain. And maybe try not to get on his plate without a fight, would you? Better yet, don't you think it's high time we've bolted out of here?!

That thought gave her a brief pause, and she quickly stashed it away for later. They've just run into a spacious hall. A small silhouette was cowering near the front door, a remotely humble suitcase resting at her feet. The girl had soft blonde hair and big pink eyes, now uneasy with apprehension. Misaki has a sense of smell almost as bad as it gets for humans, but she could have sworn feer was oozing from her very being.

"Oh! Please, pardon the intrusion," the girl stammered as soon as she saw them, bowing slightly. "I'm Komori Yui. I- I was told I'm supposed to live here."

A memory fresh as a day flashed before Misaki's eyes. Her own arrival, a letter of acceptance neatly folded in her suitcase. They, whoever  they  actually were, had used guile to bring her here. By some bitter coincidence, history was repeating itself. Misaki remembered the pain of Laito's first bite, his cold fury when he almost drowned her in the bathroom, Kanato's maniacal eyes, and anger issues radiating from Ayato and Subaru. If Laito, who seemed the least dangerous, was capable of such cruelty, she didn't want to imagine what the rest could do. 

Before Laito could even open his mouth, she rushed to the girl's side, grasped her by the shoulders, took hold of her suitcase, and pushed her to the doors. 

"I'm Misaki Sugawara, pleased to meet you. Now," she gave speechless Yui a stern look, "you need to go."

"But I- Hold on!" she struggled out of her hold. "I don't understand! My father clearly told me I was supposed to stay here with my relatives until his return. Has there been a mistake?"

"Hm~ What's the rush, Bitch-chan? It's pretty rude to walk out on us like that, you know?"

Misaki threw a panicked glance at Laito, who peeled himself off the wall and was slowly sauntering to them.

"That's why-"

"Girl," Misaki gently shook her by the shoulders. "Trust me; these guys are  not  your relatives. Now, go-"

She pulled the doors open and cursed violently. Thunder rumbled in the distance. In the flash of lightning, Ayato materialized in the doorway, dripping water on the marble. His lips were lightly smeared with blood, and the way he was eyeing Yui told Misaki he was far from done with his meal. The blonde screamed. 

Misaki's courage dissipated just as quickly. In two quick steps, she scrambled back, straight into Laito's awaiting arms. They closed over her like steel cage, forearms digging into her ribs with enough force to cut off her breathing.

"Woah! I have no idea who you are, but you smell delicious! C'mon, yours truly will grant you the honor of feasting on you!"

He moved to grab her, but adrenaline seemed to give Yui the upper hand. She jumped back, and Misaki winced as her foot almost caught on the suitcase.

"What are you talking about?!" The girl demanded, earning a barely auditable chuckle from Laito and an annoyed snort from his brother.

"Idiot! I've practically spelled it out for you," he grumbled, finally getting a hold of her arm and pushing her into the wall.

"Stop! Let go of me! Stop it!"

Misaki squeezed her eyes shut. Her stomach turned. Yui's trashing was ringing through the whole hall as Ayato pressed closer. She gave a particularly high-pitched wail as she assumed from the wet noise that he liked her. An involuntary shiver went down her spine, turning Laito's attention back to her.

"Ne~ Bitch-chan, don't you think there's something so sinful yet so arousing in watching someone thrash at the mercy of dark ecstasy?" His slender fingers crept over her chin, forcing her head towards the scene.

She stubbornly kept her eyes shut. "Can't say I'm a fan," she mumbled.

"That's because you haven't seen the best part yet," his cold breath washed over her ear, and her body reacted on its own, goosebumps peppering her skin. "Go on, be a good girl and open your eyes. Taste the forbidden fruit and watch this girl fall on his mercy."

She wished that what she'd felt pressed against her lower back was a trick of the mind. However, she was more than aware that her mind was not capable of hallucinations of this quality. With a heart lodged in her throat, she forced her eyes open, immediately wincing as Yui caught her terrified gaze. Misaki knew that opposing Laito here would only bring her pain.

"I'm so sorry-" she whispered as Ayato buried his face in Yui's neck.

"For once, it does not seem you are to blame. Ayato," hearing the unmistakable frost in the voice, Ayato straightened reluctantly. "I told you to keep such activities in your room many times. Which part of that message was not clear enough for you?"

"Tsk, Reiji. I've just come back. Can't you mind your own business?"

"Believe me; I'd be more than eager to do so. However, with the screaming this girl has caused, I cannot devote myself to my duties. Now, explain at once, what is the meaning of this?"

"Hm~ It's quite simple, really; I'm sure you also realize it. This little girl paid us a visit, and Ayato was just playing a good host~"

"A good host?!" The girl stammered, hastily getting away from Ayato and focusing on Reiji instead. "I'm sorry for the intrusion. My name is Komori Yui, and my father told me I'm supposed to live here."

Reiji regarded her for a second, then, as if fueled by something, checked his watch, adjusted his glasses, and managed with a tone suggesting a migraine. "All of you to the living room at once."

Honestly, at this point, you can't say you're surprised...  snarked her inner voice as Laito forced her down on the couch beside him. He had both arms wrapped around her in a bruising grip. Any attempt to throw him off proved unsuccessful, and he only threatened to move them elsewhere. So she was forced to remain still, trying her best to suppress shivers that shook her every time he as much as moved.

Yui remained standing, watching their unusual group gather in the room. Ever since Subaru first shouted, she still hadn't let go of her rosary.

"Is it true?" Misaki whispered in a conspiracy tone just as they waited for Kanato to finish his tantrum in the kitchen. "Are you guys afraid of crosses and such? Holly water?"

Laito leaned in so close his cold breath sent a shiver down her spine. "Why, Bitch-chan? Are you looking for a way to hurt me? I guarantee I'd welcome whatever you sent my way~."

She was willing to bet he was blushing. And avoiding the question while at that. "I should have seen that coming, huh? But no, this time, let's call it curiosity."

"Do you see any of us shaking in fright?"

"Fair point. Garlic?"

He chuckled at the thought. "Only Kanato. We might have traumatized him once."

"Only once?" She snickered before her brain caught up and promptly froze. She felt him smile against her ear a second before his sharp fang caught on her ear. His following words died in the outburst of glass shattering, and shortly after, Reiji returned, almost dragging Kanato along.

"Now, let us not prolong this anymore. Explain, what is this about?"

Yui made a visible effort to pull herself together and repeated her tale. She looked over them questioningly, her gaze landing on Misaki, who shook her head in a silent  I have no idea how to help you. 

"Ay, cut the crap. She's another one of them, isn't she?"

"I am not sure, Ayato. Father hasn't said anything about her," Reiji's brows furrowed. "Shu, has he contacted you?"

The eldest brother gave the quietest  no  she'd ever heard and slightly adjusted on the pillows. "I don't know who she is. Nor why she's here. And frankly, I can't be bothered to check."

"Typical for the no-good like you. It truly is impressive that for-"

"Perhaps a better question," Laito cut in. "Would be who sent her."

"Not that I care, but didn't they, you know, stick to the one-girl-at-a-time schedule?" Subaru grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

One girl at the time, but that would mean...

"Hold up; there had been girls before?" Misaki felt her mind run to an abrupt stop.

"Shut up, Stunky; it's not the time for your small brain energy. It's family business."

"Nfu~, of course, there'd been girls in the past." Her stomach dropped. "Why? Did you think you were special?"

"No, I-"

"Can we please concentrate on the matter at hand? If father hadn't sent her, then what are we supposed to do with her?"

Kanato eyed Yui with blatant hunger, smiling eerily at the bear. "We could always keep her, ne, Teddy? She'd make such a pretty doll."

"Oy! Fuck off! The great me has seen her first!"

"Shut up! You're making me want to puke! Why would you have her all to yourself, ha?! She's clearly not a bride, so rules don't apply here!"

"Subaru-kun, are you perhaps tempted by her~ womanly charm?"

The white-haired vampire sheeted threateningly and took three steps toward Laito before Reiji stopped him with a glare.

"While I agree that this is most certainly unusual, we would be stupid to let her out. It's best she remains here. I see no reason to drag this bride-nonsense. That to say, she remains free to all, except Laito, given he already has a stable food income."

Brothers grunted in agreement, earning, "I'm wounded!" From Laito.

"A bride?!" Slight blush was creeping up Yui's cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't- there must have been a mistake-"

But Ayato was already looming over her, cutting short her protests.

"Until I hear back from father, let's try not to kill her accidentally. It would be quite problematic if he were to grow displeased."

Yui's face grew white with terror. Ayato gave a cruel laugh, her prayers falling on deaf ears. His pale hand inched closer, and just as it was about to close on her throat, Yui swayed on her feet and passed out.

"You know, Bitch-chan," Laito's voice was full of cold humor. "Maybe they've already sent another one because they think you're dead. I wonder, how long will you manage~."

She almost passed out herself. 

***

With the first strike of hour nine, Misaki had her backpack ready. Housing her warmest jumper, a bottle of water, wallet, and her phone, it was all set to provide her for a day. Or more if her trip to the market proved successful. She pulled on her running shoes, gathered her resolve, and skipped down the marble staircase like it was the most natural thing in the world.

The Sakamaki household seemed dead this early morning, but it only unnerved her further. They usually slept during the day, but she'd grown so used to Laito hovering over her over the week that this slight stretch of freedom seemed suspicious.  No matter,  she thought, pulling the front doors open. They gave in with a loud creak, and she froze on the spot. Silently counting to three, she listened, but no sound of life reached her.

Cautiously, she took a step out. The garden before her was breathtaking, with tiny droplets of water shining on the flowers. Whoever took care of them did a marvelous job. The air was sharp and fresh, filling her lungs with new energy. With a determined huff, she settled on her journey.

After the metal gate, the forest closed in around her. She looked with great trepidation at the surrounding trees. Deep down, she knew that somewhere, something was lurking. Chasting her mind for playing tricks on her, she pressed forward, destination clearing her mind. She knew she only had one shot for this. After all, such a stupid excuse could only get her so far.

The sun proudly reached noon, and only then she arrived in the city. Almost weeping with relief, she made a beeline for the nearest lamp and squashed the urge to hug it. People. Finally. Living people surrounded her. They were all minding their own business, shopping in the nearby stores. She didn't know any of them. But it didn't matter now. She felt like she belonged.

Big shopping malls and small cafes fought for a place on the street. From an Italian restaurant, a delicious smell tickled her senses, and her stomach grumbled. It was no time to indulge in her favorite cuisine. She had a goal in mind. 

And the said goal has just materialized on the corner.

A police officer was strolling down the street without a care in the world. The hat was pushed back on his head, revealing intelligent eyes scanning the surrounding. He was toying with the bat in his hand like it was the most natural thing to do. Misaki spared one glance over her shoulder and ran to him.

His eyebrows rose a smidge. Reluctantly he stopped whistling and asked in the most bored tone. "Is there a problem, ma'am?"

Voice stuck in her throat. So many things had happened this week, and she didn't know where to start. Because she was sure, he wouldn't believe her. If she said they were vampires, he would laugh at her. But that was the horrible truth. And she was stuck with them. Only, how to tell him that without convincing him she'd lost her mind?

"Officer, I need help," He immediately straightened at attention. "The place- The place I'm staying at- I- I can't stay there," she hesitated, then whispered the last part. "They will kill me." Deep down, she knew she must sound ridiculous. But it didn't stop her. It was her only chance.

"Ma'am, please calm down. You are safe here." He said soothingly, reaching for his notepad. "Tell me everything from the beginning. Where are you staying?" 

"At the Sakamaki mansion."

She watched with growing unease as something flashed in his eyes. He froze for a second and then looked at her with eyes that weren't really his. He closed his notepad, reaching for handcuffs instead. "Ma'am, I assume you are aware that I could arrest you for making false statements as a prank, right?"

She gaped at him. "What?!" She exclaimed. "What are you talking about?! I told you, I need help! You can't just ignore that! They will kill me! Don't you understand?!"

She was making a scene. Small crowds started to gather around them. People were curious about what the shouting was. The policeman waved them off, but it was never that easy. One lady found a hiding spot behind the street lamp, and if she wanted to believe she was invisible to them, Misaki wasn't about to crush her dreams. She had problems on her own.

"Those types of rumors," he weighted the words. "Can be very hurtful for both sides. You understand, right?" His voice was cold as ice. "You would do wise to stop spreading them without any evidence to back it up. You don't want to make  him  your enemy."   Him ? Who was he talking about? "Now, get out of my sight before I arrest you. And don't joke like that again, or I won't be that forgiving."

"No! Please, wait!" She called after him as he sidestepped her and continued his patrol. She grasped his navy shirt, but he simply shook her off without a pause. He never looked back at her but left her on the street. "If I ever find peer review, you are in a world of trouble!" She screamed at his departing back. Satisfaction of her petty revenge numbed the growing unease.

What the hell was going on here? Why did the police send her away? It was literally their job to help her now, wasn't it?  Maybe,   she forced hope into her mind.  Perhaps I was just unlucky with this one. Maybe he's having a rotten day.  She had to try again. Otherwise, she would never forgive herself.

She didn't call the police after Laito almost killed her because she was sure that if she did, they wouldn't arrive on time. The brothers would never let her get this upper hand and live to tell the tale. But here on the street? There was no sight of them. She was left unsupervised and was about to make it everyone else's problem.

She pulled out her phone, checked the address of the precinct, and headed there. 

***

"So, to clarify," the police officer sat behind the desk across from her and gave her a tired look. He had a prominent aura of boredom, with receding hair and a slight belly. He took off his glasses and ran a heavy hand over his bloodshot eyes. She almost felt bad for bothering him. "You asked for help from one of the patrolling officers, and he laughed at you?"

She puffed out a breath. "Not exactly laughed. He scolded me for  joking . I wasn't," she pleaded with the man when he threw her a skeptical look. "I need help, please. Please, you can't send me away."

"Alright," he nodded and fetched an official-looking form. "Please state your name and business," he prompted, his pen hovering above the sheet.

"My name is Sugawara Misaki," he started noting. "And I'm sure my roommate is trying to kill me."

At that, his pen hesitated. He searched her eyes for hints of deception or lies, but she was more than confident that was the truth. And even if it wasn't before, she did not doubt that after today's escapade, Laito would end her. She reported him. Twice. Oh, she was  so  dead.

"You realize that's a grave accusation?"

"Yes!" She snapped, leaning above the desk. "Of course, that's a serious accusation! So is the crime! So, I'm begging you, help me!"

"Yes, of course," he sighed. "Calm down, miss. As I said, you are safe here. Now, give me the address and the name of your roommate."

She knew he had to ask this. And she knew she had to reply. But it didn't stop hesitation from sinking its claws into her guts. The last policeman turned deaf to her after she mentioned her address. So, she started carefully, observing his eyes for any sign of that strange flash. "His name is Laito," so far still grey. "And we live in the mansion in the nearby forest." Lucky for her, there was precisely one hunted house in the area, so the policeman didn't ask for the exact name of the place.

He scribbled it down, then looked at her expectantly. "His full name, miss. Laito?"

"Sakamaki."

As the last vowel left her mouth, her heart broke. The grey eyes now held the unnatural bluish hue, looking at her without seeing anything. With anger evident on his face, he tore up her statement and then leaped off his chair. "Does this place seem like a joke to you?!" He bellowed. "This kind of behavior is very irresponsible! We are here to protect the law, and you clearly have no respect for it!" His hands slammed down on the desk, shaking the pens in the tin. "Get out of my sight before I arrest you! And if I ever see you here again, I'll make sure you suffer the consequences!"

"I- No! Why are you doing this?!" She demanded, bolting to her feet so he couldn't loom over her. "I am  not  joking! Just check it! Or arrest me! Just do something!"

His face turned white with fury. He stormed over to the door to yank it open. With his finger shaking with barely contained anger, he gestured her on her way. "Out. Of. My. Sight."

***

"Now, dearie, sit down, deep breaths."

The old lady led her to her living room, and Misaki almost wept with gratitude when a cup of hot tea was pressed into her hand. She closed her numb fingers around it and then took a deep breath, inhaling the soothing herbal aroma. She gathered her resolve and faced Cho.

"I'm so sorry for coming so suddenly, but I didn't know what to do-" her voice sounded weak even to her own ears. After a second, she realized she was shivering.

Cho regarded her with a sympathetic smile. She settled into the worn armchair by the fireplace, reached out for a cookie, and started nibbling on it.

"What happened? You seemed quite frightened on the doorstep. Has someone been bothering you? Were you followed?"

Yes, to all that,  she thought bitterly.

Ever since she slipped out of the mansion with the poor excuse of grocery shopping, she'd spent the whole day trying to reach help. She was exhausted. The police- there was something very wrong with them. She didn't have much experience with the law department, but she was relatively sure yelling at a citizen just after saying the name wasn't the usual procedure. She felt awfully alone. By the time afternoon rolled by, her feet were sore, her spirit dark as the moonless night itself, and she was starving.

It made her homesick. She'd kill for a batch of her mother's lasagna or just their presence. Throughout the whole week, she'd tried to contact them via various messages, but they never responded. When she tried calling them from her phone, the line never connected.

He probably found her misery quite amusing.

To make matters worse, she was confident that today's misadventure was not as much her cleaver planning as it was Laito allowing her to feel utterly helpless. Every step of the way, she knew unseen eyes were on her, carefully following her every move. Even now, sitting in Cho's living room, she had a terrible hollow in her gut that she'd led  them  here. If anything happened to her only because she'd helped Misaki-

"I had an exhausting week," she started, staring pointedly at the leaves in her tea.

"Yes, I can see that. Oh, how I wish you didn't go to that particular house, my dear. This place… Very little good resides there."

Misaki's attention snapped back to the woman opposite her. She had that slightly unfocused look in her eyes, almost like she remembered something. Too many questions were battling in her head, and she didn't know where to start.

"You sound almost like you've been there."

Cho's face sobered up; in the blink of an eye, her dazed smile was back in place, and she waved off whatever thought took seed in Misaki's head.

"Oh no, never. They'd never let me leave. This is a strange place, dearie," she fumbled with her skirt. "Over the years, many girls passed through town, asking for directions to their house. After that- we didn't see them much, and then always," her voice shook, tears forming in her eyes, "then they disappeared. And a new girl always came shortly after."

The warmth of the mug suddenly did nothing to fight the frost creeping over her palms. She didn't want to voice the thoughts, afraid that it might somehow make it real. She forced herself to breathe: "Had any -?"

Cho seemed to sense her real question. She folded into herself, soundlessly shaking her head. "Not even one."

The thought, even though not surprising in the slightest, still made her nauseous. Her throat went dry, and she forced down a sip of tea. Her stomach nearly turned. "Have you tried reporting anything?"

Cho's brow furrowed. She paused mid-smoothing the cloth at the table, gazing into the flames in the fireplace. "Yes," she whispered. "There was that one time I went to the police, begging them to help this one girl. It was very, very long ago, dearie."

"They sent you away, didn't they?"

"Yes! That's exactly what happened. Though I never quite understood what this whole situation was about. They snapped in the blink of an eye, and later there was no changing their minds. They didn't listen to a single word," Cho rambled with vivid annoyance, almost knocking over a vase at the table. She caught it at the last second and tugged at the flowers. "But how do you know this, my dear? Have you gone there?"

Misaki nodded reluctantly and told her the story. When she finished, Cho propped down on the couch beside her and nudged the plate of homemade cookies in her direction. A gentle arm circled around her waist. Misaki realized how awfully drained she felt. Not only physically, though, but her feet also ached, and she was more than sure she'll have blood in her shoes tomorrow. She felt hollow, like a black hole opened in her chest and was sucking down all her emotions. She gave in to the gentle touch, and Cho pulled her closer, tucking Misaki's head under her chin. One silent tear slid down her cheek.

"Listen, dearie, none of this is your fault," Misaki closed her eyes, and more droplets fell on her shorts. "What happened to you shouldn't happen to anyone, but the world is cruel, honey. You have to survive this," with a tentative hand, she guided Misaki's chin to look at her. Pain shone clear in her kind eyes when she whispered the last part. "You must be strong, dearie. If anyone can do it, it's you."

"Thank you," she mumbled, her throat almost closing in on her.

Cho nodded, then pulled her in for the most vigorous hug yet. Misaki wrapped her arms around her, the tension slowly leaving her shoulders. Hugs always calmed her. They used to work miracles when as a child, she had night terrors after Hinata hid under her bed as a joke. She got him so hard for this one.

"Now, I hope you're hungry. My husband will be home in an hour, and I've made a delicious stew. You'll stay for dinner, right?"

At this moment, Misaki was ready to crawl to Cho's feet and worship her. This woman was a goddess. Instead, she managed another watery smile and thanked her quietly. "I'll help you." When Cho started protesting, Misaki quickly cut her off. "Please, it's the least I can do."

"In that case," she huffed good-naturally while rising from her seat. "I'll be waiting in the kitchen."

Misaki's eyes slid from the woman before her and landed on the worn-down phone near the wall. "Do you mind if I make a quick call first?"

"Not at all, dearie. Take your time."

When Cho left to prepare the meal, Misaki rose on shaky feet. She could feel her shoe digging in painfully and almost wept when she realized she'd be forced to trot back the same way she came. She couldn't stay here. It would put Cho and her husband in danger. Staying for dinner already seemed like pushing her luck, but Misaki hadn't eaten in the early morning, and her stomach threatened her with murder if she didn't feed it soon. She'd stay for one meal and then figure out the rest.

But before, she had one call to make. Heart thudded in her chest when she spun the circular dial, pushing in the number she'd memorized ages ago. When the line connected, she had to grasp the table to steady herself. After a few seconds of beeping, there was a break and a voice she longed to hear.

"Hello?" It was always warm but a bit unfocused now. She probably caught him in the middle of something.

"Dad?" she whispered, holding her breath when heavy silence fell on the other side.

"Who is this?" he demanded cautiously.

"Dad, it's me. Your daughter, Misaki," she almost cried into the microphone.

The man on the other side cussed. "So it's you!" He hissed. "Listen, I don't know who you are, but you've been harassing our family for a week now. Stop this nonsense at once! It's causing my wife serious stress. Don't call me again." And with that, the line disconnected.

She stood motionless for a few more minutes, hand holding the phone, hoovering helplessly over the station.  So it's true.  She realized she wasn't shooked. She had her suspicions ever since that text from Hinata. Now her fears were only confirmed.  My own family- forgot me.  Something died inside her at that moment. This one part holding her together evaporated, and with it, she felt like she'd lost a sense of herself. Her family didn't know her. How could she be sure  who  she was?

A melodic doorbell cut through the silence of the house. Misaki numbly registered Cho's hurried footsteps as she rushed to greet her husband. "Welcome home, dear, dinner is almost ready-" her voice took on a sharper edge, suspicion rising to the surface. Misaki straightened, edging closer to the hall. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Oh, with just a little, tiny thing. I'm here to pick up one very naughty Bitch-chan, and I was hoping you could nicely hand her over," he sang, his voice as cheerful as ever.

"She's not here," Cho's voice quivered.

"Hm~ Liar, liar pants on fire~ It's a bad habit to lie like that, you know?"

When his footsteps sounded on the floor, Misaki's heart screamed at her to run. She didn't get a chance to because he stood before her in the blink of an eye.

"Hello, Bitch-chan."

[Chapter V] [Masterlist] [Chapter VII]

[duskdragonxiii]

dusky in what ways do you think therapy would help q4?

I'll be honest i dont know the exact benefits of therapy ive only had counselling a couple of times bc it was free and i was on the brink but i do have so many many thoughts DJSKLBF

Every character in vanguard has thier own issues and while some of them are nuanced some of them are really really obvious

Aichi is very clearly depressed it's not even subtle and as someone who's been through situations that make Aichi's story relatable I think therapy is something he really needs but I've stressed before that Aichi even goes through relapses and such. Vanguard is what's helping him through it its the closest he's getting to therapy. Maybe it's from being bullied in school but Aichi has serious self esteem issues and the core of Vanguard is imagining yourself as the best version of yourself- It's really not a subtle message. Kai brought him into the world of Vanguard and it completely changed his life. Slowly but surely. Even his family note how happy he becomes after getting into vanguard and meeting Kai again. The development on aichis part is really slow but in fairness depression is just like that.

Misaki canonically has PTSD after the death of her parents (this was more severe in V series but at the same time it felt really brushed over which is a real shame) and similar to Aichi was depressed and had little interest in anything before being dragged kicking and screaming into a game she was so scared of. Once again Vanguard is the key to getting through- not over- her issues and she's far happier with her life now.

Kamui is easy to overlook bc he's younger and isn't as clearly distressed as the rest of the team but I think he has serious social issues. He's a popular kid among his peers and he thrives on enthusiasm but he's also vulnerable in his own way. He's intimidated by change and finds it hard to understand other people I think. He has a hard time feeling he belongs with people. One of those people who has so many friends but rarely lets any of them close. He found where he belongs in Q4 and thats why when he finds Kai hard to deal with he finds is especially hard. It's really hard to say what Kamui's issues are tbh but I don't doubt therapy would benefit him too. (I hc he has adhd and dyslexia but that's more of a me thing) Kai in particular has serious issues with running and hiding from his problems. He acts all cool in order to push people away. Obviously he's already fucked up from his parents death and the first person who got him to open up after that was of course Ren (and Tetsu) unfortunately as a result he didn't realize how high a pedestal he was putting Ren on that it absolutely shattered him when Ren turned out to not be the person he had been in his imagination (Don't give me any of that he changed bc of psyqualia thing, that's a metaphor and you know it and you're missing the whole point) and instead of trying to accept Ren as he was he ran away. This is addressed again in the Psyqualia Aichi arc when Aichi starts to get lost in his own power- giving Kai the painful reminder when once again someone he's connecting to might not be the flawless and innocent person he imagined them to be. The difference is, Aichi brought him close to a whole lot of other people and Aichi himself made him realize that he can't keep running and that's what brings him to his senses and able to face it.

Not Q4 but relevant; Ren has abandonment issues probably due to his shitty parents (although this is only really established in V series where things are quite different but i still think that's the case in the og) so when Kai didn't approve of his new self and worst of all walked away without even saying goodbye it sent him over the edge and he became the nasty and aggressive cardfighter we know him as in season 1- all because he wants Kai to come back to him. He has a single minded OBSESSION with Kai that's really not healthy- and while after season 1 he starts to get better he never truely lets go.

Kai and Ren could BOTH get over their issues if they would just talk about it but unfortunately they both have issues with communication that make it impossible- hence why cardfight is so important to them now. with thier imagination and putting thier true selves in this game it gives them something in common and a way to communicate through all the issues they have with eachother and at the end of LM though it's been really slow its clear that they ARE healing. It may sound silly, but Kai making an off comment about how he doesn't like the way Ren is dressed is a BIG thing for him. I could analyse this moment till the cows come home because its the first time Kai manages to express himself with words, clumsy as it is. What "I don't like the old you" really means below the surface is I know and accept that you have changed. And Ren's playful response being "Then you like me as i am now?" while he is being playful that in itself means I'm still not the person you want me to be I will never be that again but I'm happy that you can finally see me as I am. It's really important to me....

Anyway Sorry for this ramble i really feel strongly about cfv LOL welcome to my KaiRen agenda--

[ridiasfangirlings]

Normal universe AU where Sarumi are exes who broke up because their relationship got a little too toxic; fast forward a few years, they both become better people (maybe therapy or getting out of bad situations), and they meet again but they never really stopped loving each other. Issue is: Saru's already got a partner, and he thinks there's no way Misaki would like him again, so he settles for that, and of course Yata isn't about to break a couple up, so he says nothing about how he still likes Saru. Angst ensues.

Even in no powers AU, they have angst :P Imagine Yata and Fushimi still meet in middle school and go to high school together and all that, but as they get closer to graduation things start to turn bad as all Fushimi's insecurities flare up and he basically begins his usual habit of sabotaging his own happiness in the most explosive way possible. Yata's not intending to go to college, instead planning on like learning a trade – maybe this is like AU where Yata gets a job as an apprentice welder working under Mikoto, who he thinks is the coolest and Fushimi feels like Yata chose working with Mikoto over going to college with him. Fushimi thinks that the long distance relationship will never work and that Misaki is leaving him behind. Things start getting tense between them and even though they still care for each other Fushimi starts deliberately being an asshole in order to get Yata to break up with him. When they finally separate Yata's probably still confused as to why Fushimi changed all of a sudden, while Fushimi thinks Misaki never understood him and it's better this way.

Fushimi goes to college while Yata starts working and say Fushimi's mental health takes something of a dive. He wants to reach out to Yata but feels like it's pointless, Yata won't come even if he calls, and basically just spirals downward until one of the teaching assistants at his college, Munakata, notices what's happening and is able to get Fushimi some help and some nice much-needed therapy. A few years later Fushimi's working in a government agency under Munakata and he even has a boyfriend, though really all this time he's still been quietly pining for Yata. One day he goes to get lunch from a vending machine during work and discovers that there's some construction happening in the next building over and who should be there but Yata, who's all happily chatting with his coworkers and seems really upbeat and content. Even though Fushimi's made all this progress he still feels a stab in his heart when he sees that, a Misaki who's perfectly happy without Fushimi around, and he probably tries to sneak back into his building without Yata seeing him. He goes to grab a cola from the vending machine first though and as he turns to go back he ends up face to face with none other than Yata, who also came over for a drink.

Fushimi's changed his hair since he and Yata broke up and he has this momentary hope that Yata won't recognize him, but then Yata's face just breaks into the brightest smile as he's like '….Saruhiko?'. Fushimi mumbles 'Misaki' and Yata almost hugs him, so excited to have finally met Fushimi again. Yata just wants to talk to Fushimi about everything, how he's been and how long has he been working over here and what's he doing now. Fushimi responds haltingly at first but he finds himself being drawn into Yata's rhythm unexpectedly, talking to Yata like it's old times and he keeps remembering how much he still loves Yata. Yata's about to ask Fushimi if he's seeing anyone when Fushimi's boyfriend shows up to see how he's doing. Yata's like '….um, be seeing you, I guess?', all awkward suddenly. Fushimi nods, letting his boyfriend lead him away and keeping himself from looking back at Yata.

They keep running into each other though and there's like mutual pining but neither one realizes it. Fushimi thinks there's no way Yata can fully forgive him for all the terrible things he did to Yata before they broke up, while Yata thinks that Fushimi has someone he loves now and there's no way Yata can take him away from that. Yata at least wants to become Fushimi's friend again though and it's rough, because he keeps like leaning in a little too close or his hand will brush Fushimi's and he feels his face getting red despite himself. Fushimi meanwhile is telling himself just to accept that he won't ever be the one for Yata and to try and be happy with his current boyfriend, but he can't deny that he doesn't really love his boyfriend the way he loved Yata and maybe he just shouldn't be with anyone at all since all he does is hurt people (and then maybe Fushimi's boyfriend is the one who realizes what's going on and kindly steps aside so that he can get these two idiots together so they'll be happy).

[nikaidou-stan]

"Would they bully Kiriyama?": a thread

- Kiriyama: 10000/10

absolutely. no one hates kiriyama more than kiriyama himself. dropped a mug? he's sobbing on the floor. he needs therapy but he doesn't want to inconvenience the therapist (in his defense he's an INTP with trauma, who can blame him?)

- Nikaidou: 9/10

yea yes yes. king of bisexuality, he's both Kiriyama's #1 simp and biggest bully. one minute he's cursing at him for putting milk before cereals and the next one he's ending all his messages with "thanks! i love you!!!". he and hina have unironically created a group chat called "kiriyama's bitches" where they just insult him and clog his photo storage with badly edited facebook meme

- Hina: 6/10

really conflicted on this one: if we consider her canon personality, then 2/10; if we take the actual-16-years old Hina that i crafted in my head 8/10, she teases him for everything but sometimes worries she's taking it too far (she's not)

- Akari: 1/10

a pure soul. she only teases him about his relationship with hina and/or nikaidou. what a great big sis, we stan

- Momo: 4/10

i know kiriyama is a lame nerd but getting bullied by a literal 3 yo is a but much. 4/10 just bc when she grows up she keeps sending these very ominous messages at 2 am with another phone just to freak him the fuck out (it goes on for three years and it's always as funny as the first time, nikaidous really proud)

- Shimada: 3/10

shimada's accostumed to random assholes entering his house once a month, abusing his stash of coffee, eventually threatening to set something on fire and then leaving, so rei's presence didn't really change anything. but he has to admit that kiriyama doesn't know when to shut up, like what the fuck are u doing you're the least problematic one, don't make me hate you too plz

- Shigeta: 8/10

you know how sometimes you just want to kick a child across the room but everyone's like nooo he's four you have to be patient with him?? that's exactly their relationship. feels like it's their duty and priviledge as honorary older sibling to smack the shit out of rei when he's having his little bitch moments

- Kyouko: 10/10

she literally emotionally, verbally, and physically (and maybe even sexually) harassed him, is this not enough for you heartless monsters???

Bonus:

- Misaki: 10/10

"she shouldn't make fun of a teenager, she's an adult" shut up. a kawamoto family dinner aint a kawamoto family dinner if she doesn't gives hina the "is this the man you want to marry???" look at least three times. she still thinks that takahashi was the best option and she's absolutely right