#miss thing werk

[vvatchword]

In Defense of BioShock Infinite

Although I had preordered BioShock Infinite with all its bells and whistles, I did not actually play it until January 2023. And lordy, I had me another Experience with a capital E. How the hell a bunch of urban Yanks could capture my experience as a queer democratic-socialist atheist struggling with her roots as a rural evangelical-cum-fascist is kinda magical, honestly. As to the game itself, it didn’t hurt how good it looked—the kickass skyhook gun battles—that novel setting—the complex characters—that delicious historical setting—that bloodthirsty critique of America—and to top it all off, they had pulled yet another Cassandra. Hell, speaking of which—not only was the game fun, it was fucking smart. It was intelligent, memorable, and meaningful in a way I hadn’t experienced in video games for years.

Now, back in 2013, when I had realized that I would be spoiled for Infinite, I left the BioShock fandom. After completing the game, I headed to Tumblr to re-engage, wagging my whole body like an excitable golden retriever, only to discover that BioShock Infinite was remarkably absent, and when mentioned, brutally derided. 

“I hate BioShock Infinite and all my friends do, too,” someone said in the tags under a post. 

I was utterly befuddled and deeply sad. I wanted to talk about BioShock Infinite! I wanted to dig into it, uncover unexpected ideas, learn new things, talk shit, make new friends—the full fandom experience. And instead I kept stumbling into hateful diatribes and super-charged disgust.

Obviously, I first looked at myself and my own judgment. Had I missed some obvious problem or misread some theme or dialogue? This wouldn’t be the first time I’d snapped down on a hook. But the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

There are two parts of BioShock Infinite that are unquestionably terrible: the fridging of Daisy Fitzroy and the false equivalence of violence between haves and have-nots (lol what are the have-nots supposed to do, ask nicely?). Additionally, one could look at the use of real Native American tragedies as tasteless. Personally, I do not—in the same way that I don’t find it tasteless that real war victims were used as inspiration for Splicer deformities. This is what really happened; this is commentary on events that really happened to real people. 

At this point, I’m sure I don’t have to explain why two of these themes are Unequivocally Bad. 

Anyway, I thought that perhaps these were the reasons BSI had been condemned to Super Hell.

I was wrong.

How Criitcsim Werk

This wasn’t the fandom I’d made friends in over 2010. Hell, this wasn’t the fandom of 2013. This was a fandom made up of Babies. They were making their first coltish stumblings into media criticism and with it, dredging up the same brain-dead bullshit from Tumblr circa 2008.

Suddenly I was brought face to face with people who seemed to think that if a character couldn’t be likable or good that the story itself couldn’t be likable or good; that one bad element means the story is unsalvageable (lol u pussies); the implication that one is bad for liking it; the destructive juvenile insistence that media accurately measures its fans’ moral qualities en masse like an astrological sign. This goes far beyond simple like or dislike and plunges head-first into Puritanism: praying loudly on street-corners instead of quietly in a dark corner where God might hear you.

At one point I had a kid go off about how they wouldn’t take time to understand Booker DeWitt’s perspective because he had (fictionally) taken part in a genocide. (That same person said the Native American element had been employed for shock value, a thought that sometimes keeps me up at night, because it is legitimately one of the dumbest criticisms the game has ever received.) At another point I saw someone acting personally offended that (fictional person) Dr. Suchong’s (fictional) data was being stolen (in a fiction) by a (fictional) racist who would (fictionally) take credit for (fictional person) Suchong’s (fictional) inventions “while calling him slurs”. Sure, a better question would have been, “Why would the creative team opt to do this” rather than assume intentional racism from a Jewish creative director with an in-office multi-ethnic team in the year of our lord 2013, but why not handwave the choice with prurient moral dismay so your audience won’t beat you to death with bats? 

It was as though fans were treating these completely fictional characters as real people whose personal gods had opted to torment them, and that their tormentors merited the kind of censure that psychopaths should receive. As I hope all of you understand, this is fucking madness.

More than once I saw people posting about hating the studio or the creative director in ways that seemed intense, unreasoning, and excessive—notably an “I Hate [Irrational Games creative director] Ken Levine” stamp (rofl the more things change amirite). People get so performatively moralistic about it that I started wondering if I missed something big along the way. Was there some secret Voxophone I missed swearing fealty to baby Hitler or some shit?

Double Standards

At the same time, I was utterly confused. BioShocks 1 and 2 both featured some absolutely ghastly bullshit based on real-life horrors and a thick mix of complicated human beings—many of them victims who have become monsters. The fact they are grounded in historical tragedies is a huge part of their appeal. Hell, I don’t think those games would have had half their meaning without World Wars I and II and the threat of a third.

A gay man who feels so cursed by his orientation that he is incapable of intimacy and systematically destroys his ex-lovers—including the man he loves the most. A Korean who survived Japanese occupation and a Jewish Holocaust survivor repeat the violence and traumas exacted upon them and their people, subjecting a new generation to agonies unthinkable. Chasing the shadows of Bolsheviks, a Russian citizen becomes the brutal tyrant that he loathed. A rich lawyer with an easygoing drawl designs a concentration camp and systematically harvests hundreds, if not thousands of political prisoners, selling them out to medical testing for a quick buck.

But a Native man who destroys his own people and class to ensure his own survival and social acceptability is too far? This character is where people drew the line, so much so that the entire game is disavowed? Hell, if you’re just talking about Booker (rather than Comstock), he doesn’t have anywhere near the largest bodycount. If we were to judge on the metric of human misery alone, Booker wouldn’t even hit the top ten. 

Keep in mind that the most-discussed BioShock game on Tumblr is BioShock 2, and that one of the biggest fandom favorites is Augustus Sinclair—the easy-talkin’ Georgia lawyer who sells your character into horrors past all human comprehension, as he sold hundreds before and after you. Sinclair is a motherfucker so vile that BioShock 2 gives you no choice but to murder him. But Sinclair is also pleasant; good-looking to some; spends the whole game making sweet love to your ear; is one of the only true positive experiences you experience in a horror story. Unlike DeWitt, a man who is brutal and awful from step one, Sinclair is smooth and sweet. Unlike DeWitt, Sinclair’s victims are faceless, completely fictional, and carry no political or social baggage.

People fuckin’ ship this guy with Subject Delta, his explicit victim. He’s usually described as a squishy cinnamon roll. In most fanfiction, he often gets to escape to the surface and fuck Delta while helping raise Eleanor as Dad 2. It is rare that I find fanfiction that acknowledges his monsterhood in all its glory. In fact, I can only think of two.

Literacy Comes in Levels

My problem with the over-the-top hatred of BioShock Infinite is along the same lines as my confusion at Twilight and Harry Potter hate: there is so much worse out there (how much do the haters actually engage with media if they think this is that bad—yes, even considering the shitty creators themselves!), the hatred far outweighs the sin committed (in BioShock’s case, the truly bad bits are not central enough to derail the larger narrative), people don’t seem to hate it so much as they want to be seen hating it, fans want to enforce an unspoken rule hating it (bitches this is poison. Stop this), and there’s something about the hate that stinks of poor reading comprehension.

A great metric for general literacy is the newspaper. In journalism, you’re writing for the lowest-common denominator, which for years here in the USA has been about a fifth-grade reading level (about 10-11 years old, for my non-American readers). The AP posted an article a couple years back about how the general reading comprehension of Americans needs to be dropped to a third-grade one (8-9 years), and baby, I’m here to say it’s true. 

Most of the problem is that the American education system is shitty as fuck. The rest of it is from an extremely American disdain of intellectualism and the arts. People are not taught how to interpret art or literature—a difficult and subtle skill which involves accepting such truths as “multiple contradictory readings can exist and yet be simultaneously correct”, “the author can be a complete tool and still be right about things”, “the author can be a great person and still write horrifyingly incorrect bullshit”, and “worthwhile works can be ridiculously long and it really is your fault for not having an attention span”. 

Media criticism must be learned through trial, error, asking questions, confidently swaggering into a public space to announce your brilliant insight only to have your ass handed to you (usually by your older self ten years later), being willing to admit you swaggered confidently into a public space to state bullshit and then amending your bullshit only to produce more bullshit, and otherwise making a complete and utter cock of yourself. We are taught to fear and flee pain and failure, despite the fact this is how we learn and improve. Because we judge our value by whether or not we are “smart,” we are afraid of displaying that we don’t know something or might be mistaken–better not to try at all than to reveal ourselves to be fools. And yet the best way to learn is to crash up against someone else and be proven wrong!

American parents are terrified of hurting their children to the point that they spare them cognitive dissonance of any kind, disavowing difficult art—without any appreciation for the fact that art is how we provide safe spaces to explore key human experiences, better preparing us to face those difficult subjects when there are real-world consequences (sex, gender and social expression, grief, violence, predation, illness, interacting with people of different ideologies, whatever new issue is pissing off some smooth-brained old motherfucker somewhere). 

If parents and teachers aren’t teaching us how to interpret art, we’re probably never going to develop the skill at all, or crash unsubtly into it in a piecemeal fashion (hello it me). Another unfortunate side effect is that these readers tend to be blitheringly superficial: they are literally intellectually incapable of reading deeper than the uppermost layer of a text. The curtains are always blue.

And let’s not forget the role moral performatism plays in media criticism, which although faaar from new, has reached hilarious levels in the age of social media. What’s important isn’t understanding something, it’s finding something to symbolically burn at the stake so everyone knows God loves us: please keep loving me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t throw me on the fire—for performatism is not for outsiders. We long for human connection so fucking much that it’s more important to destroy what might point out our fallibilities than it is to let ourselves stand in the furnace and burn out the dross.

What do you think the point of BioShock Infinite was?

Emotional Machines

Let’s face it. Human beings give a lot more credence to how something makes them feel than they do its complex invisible reality. We are not logical creatures; we are emotional ones. Our logic is too new a biological mechanism to override something as powerfully stupid as our primal lizard brains.

Knowing this, let’s take BioShock’s most popular characters. The first two are Subject Delta and Jack Wynand, the protagonists of BioShocks 2 and 1, respectively; and why not? They’re the characters we play. In the first two BioShocks, whether or not you kill Little Sisters determines the ending you receive. In other words, Delta and Jack can only be as “wicked” as the players are. 

How do people want to see themselves? As good. What do people want to see around themselves? Good. (What is “good”? Uh, well,,,,,,) What do they want? Simple moral questions with simple moral answers. And in the first two BioShocks, what is moral is obvious: don’t kill little girls. It’s actually kind of insulting once you say it out loud.

In-fandom, Jack and Subject Delta are almost never painted as murderers or monsters, but as victims and heroes; I saw someone musing about putting Subject Delta on a “gentle giants” poll and I nearly choked on my own tongue. I only saw that musing because someone put Subject Delta and Jack in a “Best Fathers” poll. Nobody in-fandom really considers the “evil” or “complicated” endings as canon choices, despite those versions being fully understandable alternate readings, with a story that doesn’t make sense without them. (I don’t believe Burial at Sea is necessarily canon; in fact, I would bet good money that it is a huge middle finger lol, mostly because a number of brain-dead motherfuckers won’t take unhappiness for an answer.)

Most fandom art and writing is gentle, sweet, good: the symbolic healing of the damaged, the salvation of innocents, the turning of new leaves. These things are not just saccharine sweet—they tend to be unrealistically sweet. Now, far be it from me to demand these works cease. There’s a reason they exist. People write them because they need hope and happiness; I have enjoyed them greatly myself and intend to enjoy them in the future. But if y’all get to have your dessert, I demand the right to have my dinner.

The Colours Out of Earth

Let there be media where the opposite can also be true: where everything is unbelievably complicated and unforgivably fucked-up. Let there be characters who slide slurs into their speech without thinking. Let there be characters who destroy themselves in a thousand different ways, not all of them obvious, some of them horrifying. Let there be well-meaning people struggling with all their mights to do what is right only to destroy everyone around them and then completely miss the fact it’s all their faults. Let there be wickedness painted as goodness, superficial appearances accepted over essential and inherent values, denial of change and transformation, failure to accept that what is old must die and what is new must live, human stupidity and short-sightedness and cruelty in all their flavors. Let’s smash it all together and see how it plays out. 

Oh, badly? No shit! But “badly” isn’t the point. How does it play out?

Let there be a world of gradients—a place I can float from color to color, hue to hue, value to value, while attempting to figure out where, why, how, and by whom they transform—to taste concepts in a hundred different ways, test their textures by a hundred different mediums, insert them into a hundred different contexts. I need to understand why I feel the way I do; I need to understand morality in all its hideous, fragmentary glory. For I have been sold to a ideology of blacks and whites, and let me tell you: it prepares you for nothing, and it will always destroy what is most precious about human life.

I can no longer believe in a world where what is lost always returns, because that world does not exist. I have a reflexive need to come to terms with Finality: what I have lost, what I have destroyed, what will never return, what will never be better. I have a reflexive need to understand Transformation: what I am now, what is as of the present, what has risen shambling from the ashes, what turns to gaze upon me in the darkness. I need to understand what is wretched about me as much as I need to heal myself. How can I heal if I can’t understand how I have hurt and been hurt? 

I need to shine a light in the dark. Not to remodel it, not to destroy it—because I also can’t believe in a world where the wicked is destroyed forever—but to behold it, to learn from it, to view my own impact upon it, to accept how it has become a part of me, to learn how to do my best (because that’s all one can do). I must learn to love people more than causes, I must learn to love people rather than the act of winning, I must learn to love people rather than battle. I need to stand in that endless black with the lamp off and my eyes closed, letting the agony roll over me, burning with a fire that throws no light, rolling back and forth from an intense self-loathing to a fury at a society that destroys what is most valuable because it didn’t make them feel the way they wanted.

The Unforgivable

I believe that there are only two differences between Booker DeWitt and his equally cursed cohorts.

In the Hall of Whores: The Unmarked Slate

First, unlike the previous two games, where you enter the world as a tabula rasa and might roleplay as what you perceive as a good person, you are explicitly put into the shoes of a monster, and nothing you do can save you.

With other shitty BioShock characters, you are passively watching other people, and you are able to hold yourself apart. Sure, everyone else is crazy as fuck from using biological Kryptonite, but you’re too smart to end up a crazy fucking asshole like them! Sure, you are now technically a mass murderer, but those fuckers deserved it, damn it! 

“Look at this crazy bastard!” you say, rolling your eyes at the Steinmans and Cohens and Ryans and Fontaines. “It sure is a great thing I’m not a crazy bastard!”

You are able to escape acknowledging that you, too, in certain circumstances, might be the crazy bastard. You are being challenged to stand in the body of a person who has committed unforgivable sins. Imagine if you yourself committed those sins. Imagine what sins you have already committed. Imagine what brutalities you cannot take back. Imagine what horrors you have wreaked just by breathing.

“Ahhhh!” said players, probably. “What do you mean I’m not allowed to be good?”

Because that’s what the game was designed to do. Because “good” is a fucking cop-out and if it’s how you live with yourself wait until you find out you’ve been doing horrifying bullshit all your life without question. You can be evil by association through no fault of your own.

Original Sin

Second, the plight of Native Americans is a sin that non-Natives will always carry, and the socially conscious are aware of this even if they don’t know how to put it into words. The state of affairs being what it is, it is unlikely that First Peoples will ever be treated humanely, much less have their land returned. They must struggle for scraps of what is rightfully theirs while we lounge on their corpses. We cannot help but benefit from their destruction; we are made unwitting partners with our forebears; we steal the fruits of their lands and make mockeries of their faiths and identities. We have destroyed part of what made this world fascinating and unique and most of it can never be returned. Even if everything were to be made right tomorrow, their genocide is a sin that we will carry until we die, because the only reason we could be here at all is because they were killed. 

The obvious solution stands before us, but the powers that be are so much greater than we that we are effectively powerless, and achieving anything less than total restoration smacks of anticlimax. 

This is unbearable.

How can one think of oneself as a good person if one sees the good that must be done, but cannot achieve it? If one’s actions are meaningless? Goodness without action is pretension.

We are all Booker DeWitt. We have all set fire to the tipi. We swept the ashes away, we ignored the sizes of the bones, we built a CVS on their graves, and then we made statues and holidays commemorating Native Americans like the world’s cheapest “Thinking of You” card. We have de-fanged them, transformed them into cardboard cutouts, and set them up as cute little side characters in our sweeping American dream.

Booker is not a man. Booker is America and Americans—and America and Americans are monstrous: one part hypocrisy, two parts incessant violence, three parts constant peacocking, and four parts dumb as a stump.

The Monsters We Make

Outside of the message about “choice,” an enormous part of BioShock’s thematic ensemble is the creation of monsters. How are monsters created? Who or what is responsible for creating them? What do the monsters think made them the ways they are? Can a monster be saved? How? Is it enough to acknowledge you did wrong and want to be a better person?

Maybe most people are aware on some instinctive level of what facing one’s own monsterhood means. No one wants it. It’s not fun. It hurts. It’s embarrassing. It’s destructive. It’s admitting you don’t have it all together and might never, ever—that despite your best actions, you can have it horribly wrong at any point. In an age where we demand moral perfection, it demands vulnerability: you must admit that sometimes you’re the racist, the transphobe, the sexist, the nationalist, the classist, the homophobe, the violent, the wrong, the dumbfuck. 

Human beings are not built to be moral; human beings are built to survive. We so rapidly learn how to deal with our contexts at such young ages that we don’t have the time or capabilities to question why those contexts are the ways they are or why it is demanded we perform the ways we do.

In a very real way, BioShock Infinite demands vulnerability of us. It demands you look in the mirror and see what is monstrous in you—how you have been created—manufactured—a tool, a machine, a trained animal. It asks you to recognize that you can be a monster simply by association. And if we can’t look into the mirror and truly acknowledge that monsterhood, we run very real risks of becoming or enabling those monsters in one way or another.

Worst of all: perhaps monsterhood isn’t optional. Perhaps the monster was inside of us from the very beginning. It’s not a matter of if you become a monster, but when, under what circumstances, by whose hand. What is more, believing the “right” moral stances will not save you. Monsterhood can afflict anyone, in any ideology, any political stance, in any social movement, in any faith. The only element that can save you is to truly love other people, and even then, you can fail, for there can be states where there is no winner and ways to misread how best to treat another person.

Environment and Society: Context Will Not Be Denied

BioShock 1’s original ending is Jack-as-monster, regardless of how many children he saves, regardless of your feelings as player. He passes through the gauntlet of Rapture, but he has supped of its poison. And he wasn’t poisoned when he entered Rapture the second time—he was poisoned the minute he was conceived. He was born of it. He had no hope of ever escaping it—he never could have—he’d never had a choice to begin with.

No matter what choices you make in BioShock Infinite, Elizabeth will always kill you. Why? Because she has seen every world—every context—every limitation—every boon. And there is no way to stop what has been; there is no way to undo what has been done. The minute you have committed to a decision, you have split the universe; there is no telling what kind of person it will make you. In fact, there’s no telling which of your decisions will matter at all. Only Elizabeth can see because she is the unlimited future: your offspring stands before you, judge and jury, and you will have no choice but to accept her verdict, for despite your name, you are incapable of controlling how you are interpreted. 

Elizabeth sits across from you in the boat and stares without blinking. She sees a million million similar Bookers. Some are a little bit taller, some a little bit shorter, some a little heavier or lighter. Some more-resemble one grandparent or another. They have different colored ties. This one blinks when rain hits him in the eyeball. That one took a brutal beating back on the airship and one eye is swollen shut. That one can’t stop shaking; this one is unable to speak at all; one hasn’t yet lost hope, although even he doesn’t realize it.

They all lowered the torch to the tipi.

The baptism determined Comstock; what determined Booker?

Why Booker Is

In BioShock 1, characters are often stand-ins for larger concepts. Thus Ryan stands in as Ayn Rand’s Objectivist Ubermensch; Bill McDonagh as Andrew Ryan’s conscience; Diane McClintock as the citizenry of Rapture; Captain Sullivan as law and order; Frank Fontaine as the truest expression of Objectivism in its distilled form.

Who is Booker? Most importantly: why is he?

Booker is a fictional character with a brutal background based on historical events, alternative and true. Booker might be Lakota; Booker might have undergone forced Anglicization; Booker might have been ripped from his parents; Booker is a product of violence, perhaps literally. Booker is American exceptionalism distilled. Booker is the past in constant judgment of itself, unable to live with itself and unable to die. Booker destroys what is best in him and around him in exchange for belonging. Booker has sold the future to absolve his sins. Booker has sold his daughter because he is a fictional character in a work of fiction who needs to be propelled.

Booker is a shell, a sluice, an environment. Booker is the broken shape you are meant to fill, horrified. His internal shape should torture you as it has tortured him: the messy slaggy soul of a shitty tin soldier.

Does Booker take the baptism and become Comstock? If so, it might be his second one. His last name literally means “the white.” His first name can mean “author.” It is most likely his second name: an attempt to rewrite himself. And when he was unable to rewrite himself the first time, when the cognitive dissonance boiled at the edges of his skull, he found there was only one way to cleanse himself the second: to remake the world entirely. To force transformation on everyone else. To take vengeance on a world that could never love him, never want him—to create a world that has no choice but to love him. If he can’t change the world’s mind, he’ll change the world.

Note what he opts to do: to take the fight to the environment–to the unyielding universe.

Context Is Everything

It is no mistake that BioShock Infinite occurs in 1912: the sinking of the Titanic is often credited with ending an unfettered optimism, a period when the Western world believed technology had brought the human race into a golden age. With World War I—which would follow a mere two years later—came modern warfare and all the horrors thereof, not the least of which was the realization that humans had created a kind of war that could destroy the entire world. World War I also seeded the rise of the United States: much of the wealth of warring Europe—itself fat on the blood of subjugated peoples and stolen lands—would rattle into America’s coffers.

It is also no mistake that BioShock 1 directly follows World War II. With WWII came a heightened terror—that this war is not the last war, that there will never be an end to war, that war will go on expanding and expanding until it has consumed us all. World War III would not be denied: prettily packaged in the ideals of its children, it simply followed the utopians down to their underwater tombs. According to BioShock 1’s original ending, World War III is not a matter of if—it’s a matter of when.

But even more important than the history in the BioShock games are their settings. Mute leviathans, Rapture and Columbia determine all of your behaviors: from where you can exist in space to all of your desires and goals to how you choose to present yourself to how you opt to behave. Isolated in extremism—whether that extremism is the crushing depths of the ocean or the unbearable lightness of the air—most of their power is that they simply cannot be escaped. You can’t outrun them. They are everywhere. They are everything.

Like Lovecraft before it, BioShock acknowledges the greatest horror of all: you cannot escape your context. Your context does not only involve your immediate surroundings. It is also historical; contains zeitgeists from various cultures and subcultures; is filled with pressures both personal and impersonal, human and nonhuman. Many of these forces can hurt you. Many more can destroy you. What you do to survive depends very much on where, when, and with whom you must live.

Human beings are not built to be moral.

The Death of the Future

In the film Operation, Burma!, a soldier asks Errol Flynn: “Who were you before the war?”

“An architect,” says Flynn.

Who were you? Because that “you” doesn’t matter now. That “you” is irrelevant. So you’re an architect. What the war does to you; what these deaths mean to you; your past, your education, your loves and desires and forward motivation, the you that could have been outside war, the you that slogs alone into the brutal future—all completely irrelevant. Your forebears don’t care so long as you can bleed. 

Children are the manufactured tools of their creators—helpless before the enormous strength of their elders and the zeitgeists that enclose them, poisoned by their parents’ insecurities and flaws, utilized like weapons regardless of the cost—often with great love.

Consider something more than the traumatized culture: consider the society filled with traumatized children; consider the traumatized society. Consider channeling children through that trauma over and over and over again, if you can. Poisoned—poisoned—poisoned—all of us poisoned. Poisoned by those who loved us most. Poisoned by the people we trusted. Poisoned by the people who meant to make a better world.

I believe it is notable that creative director Ken Levine is Jewish; I have read from multiple accounts that the European Jewish diaspora was uniquely traumatized from the Holocaust and passed that trauma down upon their own families. I sometimes wonder if he saw that firsthand.

The fathers eat sour grapes; their children’s teeth are set on edge.

Choice: Player Expectations and Entitlement

For players who experienced BioShocks 1 and 2 with their multiple endings (Good, Bad, and “ok bye then I guess” respectively), it must have been jarring to suddenly reckon with being a monster. How often I see players grousing that nothing they do will change their wicked pasts! These players completely miss that the only meaningful choice had already been made, that it had nothing to do with the player at all, and even if they had been there, DeWitt was still unforgivable. The only way to go on was to bow out and allow the future to redefine herself.

Nobody was ready for that shit. 

Like it or not, BioShock 1 had set a precedent. Not everyone’s going to read up on creator intentions. If any keyword came blaring through the noise, it would have been “choice.” Most players only recognize choice by the ability to make it, not the absence of it, and most of them weren’t equipped to recognize that its lack was the point. The meaningless choices were commentary, and they were as much about the player as they were about DeWitt himself. Not every choice will be meaningful, will it? And there will be choices you make that will be momentous, but they will seem very small when you make them.

Because most players had experienced what they thought was a basic moralistic tale in the first two games, and would see Infinite not as reflection upon America’s destructive personality, its obsession with a meaningless Good/Bad duocracy, and the infinite, cyclical nature of violence, they saw Booker’s death as corrupted artsy claptrap.

“I did the good schuut,” they say. “I want the good schuut end. Where happy end??? Where treat :(”

Bitch the future is here. 

Time to die.

It’s Not Me, It’s You

Generally I despise essays that end with, “But the real fault lay with the clueless motherfuckers who played the game!” Often, if enough people complain, there’s something to it; the message has been obscured somehow. Details or explanations weren’t clear or intuitive enough, some mechanism isn’t working somewhere, some character needs to talk more or less, some setting needs to be transformed. O artist: stop whining and get cracking. If everywhere you go smells like shit, it’s time to look under your shoe. 

But sometimes it’s true that a piece of media is on a level folks aren’t equipped for. Think of every literature and art class you’ve ever had, if you’ve been fortunate enough to have one. There’s always someone scoffing in a back row, like here are all these jokers making more of something than they should. Similarly, some of you have been arguing with me this entire time, saying: “I just wanted a video game. I just wanted to shoot something and feel better and instead I get this bullshit ending that makes no sense.”

First of all, smart bullshit (and even fucked-up attempts at smart bullshit! Hi BioShock 2) gets to exist on this Earth along with Gmod and Roblox or Schuut Big Tits 84 (there are 84 tits and you must shoot them all. They explode into smaller tits) or whatever-the-fuck-else you think is a worthwhile gaming experience. Second of all, miserable bullshit also gets to exist, and what did you fucking expect if you played through either BioShocks 1 or 2? When you hear a football player quavering out in the darkness for his mom to pick him up, how’d that make you feel? What did you think was going to happen to Jack after pounding back the entire Plasmid library, the cancer cocktail that explicitly destroys the fuck out of its users? Third of all, if you missed the smart bullshit going on in BioShock 1 and didn’t think BioShock Infinite might be larger in scope in more ways than one, that’s on you. Fourthly, if you were simply satisfied with saving like, 15 kids from a violently-perishing city of thousands and call it good, I mean… is that really where your thoughts end? Are you really that fucking small?

It’s Not You, It’s Me

You ever meet those motherfuckers who talk shit about Shakespeare or modern art? And you’re just left there staring with dead eyes at this poseur who mistakes playing devil’s advocate for intelligence, cheek resting on your fist, thinking about the fanfic you’re writing, wondering who it’s for, remembering that all your smut-writing friends get ten times the viewers, and considering throwing yourself in front of a bus.

Yeah, there’s a personal element to this: the fact that BioShock Infinite is the kind of art I like and long for and want to make myself, the fact that the game was successful and yet the studio was closed, the way its DLC was so rushed that the story plopped out like half-baked mystery meat—realizing that the same forced rush was at 2K’s behest for BioShock 2, as well, and wondering how good art can ever be made in this unforgiving capitalist hellscape. The game was weirdly niche and I’m not 100% sure I’ll ever experience anything quite like it again. And with the whiners in this fandom, the loud ones controlling the narrative, some fresh brain-dead exec in some brain-dead publisher might be like: “We must keep it safer and simpler for these fuckin babby adult!”

Nah bitch nah. Naaaah. Cry some more while I enjoy me my fucking dinner. I’ll eat it while making loud smacking noises and keeping unbroken eye contact. Come here. Let’s look at each other. It’ll be like Lady and the Tramp but we want to punch each other. What truer form of love can there be here in the modern world?

I keep having to remind myself that this response isn’t new. I keep having to remind myself of my place. I keep having to remind myself why I write, why I read, why I like to experience art to begin with. It’s not for the reasons other people do it. Oh, I want the same emotional release as everyone else, I want the same rollicking plots, I adore the same tropes. I seek out everything and anything for a good time; I’ll read Moby Dick today and a smutty 5,000-word abortion with the world’s most suspect grammar tomorrow. I don’t give a shit if it’s low- or high-brow; there are all kinds of ways to have fun and there are all kinds of ways to engage with art, and lord knows I’ve done my share of smooth-brain criticism. The problem is that I’ve always wandered off by myself, sunk into an all-consuming reverie, on tracks that no one else ever seems to be on, and then looked up to talk excitedly about something only to realize I’m alone. And whose fault is that?

By the same token, maybe I haven’t talked enough. Maybe I spend too much time with my mouth shut. Maybe I haven’t stood up enough for things that are worth our time, worth talking up, worth setting on pedestals.

I tell you, BioShock Infinite will stand the test of time. It’s too good for this. It’s too good for you, warts and all. Some of you will grow to understand that; some of you won’t; many of you will shrug and go on with your lives (and this is fine; it is only a video game). But I’ve truly not seen anything like it. I can’t believe a mainstream video game was allowed to be so fucking brutal about the American juggernaut, and what’s more, that it sold like hotcakes. Plus, I can’t think of any works in recent memory that have struck me so close to my own heart. No creative work has made me start beating a monster’s face into a washbasin for ten hours only to lift her by the scalp and see my own eyes looking back.

Look into those eyes. See your own stupid impulses pouring out. Your own stupid excuses, your violences, your sins—your claws, your teeth, your costumes, your hilarious attempts at interpretive dance. The beast doth protest too much.

O, monster—behold thyself—and tremble.

[blackdragoness]

💫WHICH FEMALE ARTIST ARE YOU MOST ALIKE?💫

Do y'all ever fantasize about being besties with your favorite female artist, or is it just me? Oh well, welcome to my world 🤪 Which female artist are you most alike? This PICK-A-CARD is for YOU. Granted, it's only out of the 3 artists that I chose buuuuuut, who cares! Just play the fricken game. Lessssssgo 🔊

Pile 1:

Pile 2:

Pile 3:

---------------------------------

Pile 1:

The female artist you energetically match is....

Cardi B 😜

OKUUUUURRRRTTTT🔥

***Eeeeoooowwwww***

You are the life of the MF party! WOOP WOOP🔊 I don't know why but this energy makes me want to turn all the way up and it's a Wednesday 🥴. This is some big BIG energy.

You know how to turn up, you know how to get lit and you know exactly how to have fun. You are the first person people think about when they are planning to throw a party. They want to make sure you're informed and that you will be there. People will pull any kinds of strings to make sure that your presence is guaranteed. I'm getting something like VIP treatment, okurrt. You may even be asked to be a part of event planning committees because of your reputation for being the life of the party.

As soon as you walk through the door, I'm feeling a rush of excitement flowing through the room. Like electricity. Your presence excites people! Not even in a creepy sexual way, although you might get that type of attention too. But your presence makes people feel alive.

You could be viral in some way. Either online or in real life. Or people could just constantly have your name and your business in their mouth whether you know them or not. Half of them don't know shit and the other half are making up shit. Haters are gonna hate, but that never stopped Cardi B from being Cardi B so it shouldn't stop you from being you.

You are so unpredictable. No one ever knows what you're gonna say or do next but they love the anticipation about it all. Some people fear this about you, others love this about you. You shock people with the things you say and think. You might be super quick witted and intelligent especially with your comebacks. People might describe you as someone having a "sharp tongue". Chileee, the things that be flying out your mouth especially when you are upset, is as venomous as a snake bite. I'm scared of you 😶‍🌫️

You might be a very good debater! Nothing gets past you and you bring all the facts to the table. No bullshitting or beating around the bush.

Just like Cardi B, you have an original sense of humor. You are HILARIOUS. After you leave a conversation with someone, the other person will replay the jokes you told over and over again in their head hours after the conversation ended. You really keep a smile on people's faces long after your presence is gone. People will try to mimic your mannerisms and your jokes but they can never quite do it like you. You might have your own slang or your own way of speaking. It's cute and very catchy. People may want to copy the way that you speak.

You might have a ton of copy cats or people who want to be just like you and do things the way that you do. I'm getting that it can be annoying to you sometimes. but on the bright side, that just means you're an inspiration to a lot of people. A lot of people wish they could be as authentically real as you but they don't know how. They feel that if they copy your moves, it might jump start them on their own path to self discovery. For a lot, that's exactly what it does for them. How do you do it Pile 1? We need to know your secrets.

Channelled Song: Big Energy by Latto

---------------------------------

Pile 2:

The female artist you energetically match is...

Rihanna 😈

"BITCH BETTA' HAVE MY MONEY!"

"WERK, WERK, WERK, WERK, WERK, WERK"

Your energy is most similar to that of the Boss Queen herself, Miss Rihanna!

Honestly, you can never go wrong with RihRih but that's also how people feel about you. You just can't go wrong with YOU.

You got your head on straight and you know exactly where you are going. Laser eye focused on your goals and your aspirations. Once you set your mind to something, ain't nobody gonna stop you.

"Loyalty, Loyalty, Loyalty". Y'all are some loyal ass mfs just like Queen Rih herself. People don't question you or your motives because they know when you are loyal to someone, you are a diehard. Your actions prove that you are who you say you are.

UNTOUCHABLE! *gasp*! Y'all remember that long ass time period where Rihanna was single and not looking? Yeah, that's the Rihanna era I'm channelling in this reading. Even if you're not single and are in a happy thriving relationship, you still give off that independent, boss-of-my-own-life kind of vibe. If you're single, I'm getting that you play hard to get 🤪 UNTOUCHABLE! I'm hearing the "uncatchable catch" LOL. But this is what keeps them thirsty and chasing!

This energy is super fierce. Very straight up, cutthroat and to the point. Confidence is HUGE in this pile. You know what you want and how you want it done and you'll do it yourself if you have to.

Very fucking independent and very very regal. I'm hearing, "Talk to me nicely. Come to me correct, or don't come at all." So fiesty, rawwrrr lol.

You may fit a lot of the beauty standards of society. Very very physically attractive and seductive. You might have a very seductive vibe to you. Maybe you have a raspy sultry voice that naturally makes anything sound sexy or maybe you just move very elegantly. You have a magnetic pull about your energy that sucks people in and keeps them glued to you for hours.

Fearless. Bold. Spontaneous. Mysterious. Effortless.

Humanitarian. You might be someone who is driven by a larger cause. You might be a very charitable and an active member in your community. You may give back to the community through acts of services regularly. You might ponder about different problems in today's society and brainstorm solutions to combat these issues.

I'm hearing Undercover Genius. You may not flaunt your intelligence. In fact, you hide your intelligence so well people may underestimate you at first. But you truly shock people once they dive deeper into that complex mind of yours and realize there's a whole maze of information just waiting to be shared with them.

You are A MUTHAFUCKING ICON. There's nothing that you can't do and if there dare be anyone who challenges that, you always prove them wrong. Everyone used to say Rihanna couldn't sing. Nowadays she can't go a single interview without being asked about when her next album is gonna be released. They said she was a puppet singer not a makeup artist. "Her makeup line is gonna flop!" Fast forward, Fenty Beauty is one of the top make up brands and a sister to her successful lingerie brand on top of her musical and acting career. If Rih can do anything, so can you. YOU can do anything. What's it gonna be Pile 2? We need to know your secret.

Channelled Song: F Myself by Queen Herby

---------------------------------

Pile 3:

The female artist you energetically match is...

Britney Spears 🫦

"ITS BRITNEY BITCH"

"She's so lucky. She's a star. But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart thinking, if there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night"

Your energy is most similar to the Queen, Britney Spears!!!

I'm not gonna lie, this energy is feeling kind of heavy and intense which is puzzling to me because it's fucking Britney Spears. But we'll continue and see where this heaviness is coming from.

You are a sweet pea! I'm hearing the face of an angel, body like a coke bottle, and a heart made of sugar. Very sensitive in nature and tender hearted. You have this air of innocence to you or something very youthful and untouched about you. Feels a little sheltered from the world. Gentle. Meek. Humble. Sensitive.

Man, this energy is making me emotional. I feel like handling you with care.....something about handling you with care and being careful with you. I'm not gonna lie Pile 3, I'm feeling a lot of emptiness, brokenness, loneliness, etc. I'm feeling a lot of pain in this pile and it's not that enjoyable if I'm being honest. I can only imagine what life must be like for you to experience it.

Protect your heart. Protect your mind. Protect your emotions.

I apologize, this reading took a turn I wasn't expecting it to but we will push past this cloud and continue this reading.

You are a big goofball!!!! This may come as a shock to most people because you give off this vibe of "church girl/church boy" who is always poised but you are totally not that. You can be spontaneous when you want and serious when need be. I'm getting in serious situations, you are the one who says or does something purposely to lighten the mood.

You actually have a really big heart and that's why you are so sensitive to the world around you. You feel everything and everybody that it gets overwhelming. Maybe you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders with no one to help you hold it up but there's also too much pressure on you to give up. If I could salute you in person right now, I totally would. This is what the heart of a real soldier is made out of. You are a TRUE WARRIOR. It's gonna require you to fight some hard battles alone, but you've always risen every time. Don't you see? You will ALWAYS RISE. You've done it time and time again, so why doubt yourself now?

You are a soldier of life. Even with the whole world against you, you still manage to wake up every morning and breathe in the air of a new day and get your shit done. That is inner strength and emotional maturity that I wish I had myself.

Your optimism and positive outlook on life is unmatched. Your life may not be as publicized as Britneys was but I'm feeling like there was some type of publication on your life where alot of people saw you going through a battle alone. But they also witnessed how you tried your best to hold your shit together despite the bullshit you were being handed and then you rose. How do you do it Pile 3? We need to know your secrets.

Channelled Song: Naked by Ashton London

[issie-https]

A-Z Headcanons

Slash X Reader Headcanons

A/n: Istg, I’m gonna rip my uterus OUT! Anyways, enjoy this�� Also, lmk what you think about the handkerchief thing🫣

Word count: 1059

Warnings: Smut through and through!

Masterlist

༺✩༻

A - Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Angel. "Do you want me to rub your back?", "Do you want me to run a bath?", "Do you want to cuddle?", "Do you need anything?". He cares so much. I'm calling it now, him and Steven are the best at aftercare. Especially if he's been a bit rough with you.

B - Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner's)

He loves his hair and his hands(who doesn't?!). He knows his hair is perfect. And he loves his hands because they make his two favourite things make amazing sounds. His two favourite things being you and his guitar(duh).

His favourite thing about you is your mouth and your ass. He's 10000% an ass man. He smacks your ass every time you walk past him. As for your mouth, he loves to kiss your lips, ruin your lipstick and he loves when you suck him off. Just sayin'.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum)

King of Cum-land. He loves to cum on your face and make you clean it up. He also loves to cum in you and eat it out of you.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

It's a secret for both of you but he loves to take pictures of you both fucking or you fucking yourself and he takes them with him in his wallet or whatever and looks at them when he misses you on tour. You also have a little secret Slash stash in your bedside draw and girl, they're a werk of arttt!

E - Experience (how experienced are they)

Expert level shit. He's experienced but kind of immediately like if you lost your virginity together, you'd think he was lying and had been fucking for ages. But he's just naturally a sex god.

F - Favorite Position (self explanatory)

Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. He likes to see you on top , riding him until he has to thrust up into you because you're so fucked out. He loves to look at your face but doesn't want to be stuck in missionary for the rest of his life. Also mentioned in K & W why.

G - Goofy (are they more silly or serious in the moment)

He loves to keep it serious or sweet but jokes will be cracked every once in a while.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they)

Keeps it classy. Trimmed but not shaven at all. 100% matches his hair, dark and curly.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Depends on his mood. If he wants to fuck you deep and sweet, he will. If he wants to fuck you deep and rough, he will.

J - Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

He loves to masturbate and cum on you just to make you clean it up. As mentioned before, he loves to cum in your mouth or on your face or lips. If it’s just a quick one while he’s on tour and away from you, you’re the only thing on his mind.

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

BDSM, S&M, Bondage, blindfolds, breeding, dirty talk & more. Okay, straight into it. Regarding the BDSM & S&M, I did some research and he wears a black handkerchief on the left. Which means he's into S&M AND he's a bottom. Whether he does it ironically or unironically, I'm rolling with it. Tie him up, fuck him senseless. He loves it all, ig.

L - Location (favorite place to do the do)

Bed or kitchen. He loves to bend you over the worktop and bury himself deep inside you. With the bed, it allows for more free play and more of his kinky shit.

M - Motivation (what gets them going)

Anything and everything. Teasing each other is a big turn on.

N - NO (something they won't do, turn offs)

I don't think there's much he wouldn't do but permanently marking you would make him feel like a bad boyfriend/Fiancé/husband.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skills)

This mannnnnn! UGH! Your pussy is like a delicacy to him. He eats you out like a starved man. He also loves when you suck him off but prefers to eat you out.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual)

Fast and sensual if that makes sense. On special occasions, he can be slow and soft but almost always he loves it hard and rough.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

Depends on his mood. If he's too tired to go a full round, you're getting a quick sesh.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment)

Yeah, definitely. He loves to experiment with you and see what gets you going more or less.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

All day & all night. 24/7. Constant. He loves being in you in anyway possible.

T - Toy (do they own toys? Do they use them?)

Y.E.S!!! He has a little of almost everything but specifically blindfolds, vibrators and cuffs.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

King of the tease. He loves to fuck you until you're screaming for him to let you cum.

V - Volume (how loud are they)

Depends. Majority of the time, it's a groan, whimper or low moan. However, he loves for you to get vocal so have some throat sweets on standby bcos you’re gonna loose your voice xoxo

W - Wild Card (get a random headcanon)

Back on the S&M thing. When he first told you, you were a bit surprised because he's Slash, he comes off as a top but when he told you he likes to be on the bottom, you took a second to let it sink in, then got on top of him and fucked him until the cows came home.

X - X-Ray (let's see what's going on in those pants)

He's got size and girth, hunny. 6-8 inches, nice and thick, slight curve. It's not unbearable but it's enough to wind you.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Horny most of the time but he's just that way🤷‍♀️

Z - ZZZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

Waits until you're asleep and taken care of and then settles down for the night.

[smallestapplin]

Fluffy times with Clavell, Maxie, Laventon It can be headcannons or something else - Night Owl

Fluffy headcanons it is

-

-

Laventon

- shyest softie. He wants to make the moves, but gets so flustered by his own overthinking that he can’t do it, and will spend twenty minutes looking at you and your hand, trying to move his hand into yours before backpedaling. Only to jump you finally grab his hand, and he’s melting

- He likes having you in the office with him when you two are done with survey missions. He likes having your presence in the room, or even just talking to him about mundane things.

- LOVES COOKING! He wants to share so many dishes with you from Galar, he just knows you’ll love it! But he wants you in the kitchen with him, either sitting at the hearth, or helping him as his assistant. (This also comes with smooches as a reward.)

- He’s always rambling about something, either his theories, Pokémon, or talking poor Cyllene’s ears off about how much he loves you, and is trying to think of a good time take you to Galar for a trip. Cyllene loves her friend, dearly, but she’s ready to throttle him whilst she works.

- Swoons so very easily. You kiss his cheek in front of everyone before running off to work, and the guards surround him, asking if he can stand as they catch him. You make him so weak in the knees, he’s always a mess from your affection.

- He cannot read aloud to you for the life of him, he tries cause you said you love hearing him talk, but he stops mid chapter to excitedly tell you deeper context that most people miss, or his idea on what’s going to happen.

- Makes you, or has commissioned for you a hat or a scarf that matches his. He’s a sucker for couples matching, and thinks it’s the sweetest thing, like he wears his purple beanie, and you wear a yellow scarf! Or a beanie like this! (Though he’s aware with your job that’s not the best idea, so he is perfectly fine with any color the can match his hat, cause you match him perfectly already.)

- You two can be married, and he’s still a flustered, bashful mess just wanting to kiss you, he’s too cute.

-

-

Clavell

- “hey, beloved, what does ‘Gucci’ mean? Or this ‘werk? Darling I’m confused- why are you laughing? What do you mean that’s now how you say it?-“ you’re going to get front row seats and likely be the person he asks about new slang words. “Say less!” You could say excitedly, and he will tilt his head, confused “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Please help him. “That car is so cunty.” “I thought it was rather nice.” “No babe-“ but once you explain you will see him hold up a pretty, hard back book and softly whisper “cunty.”

- Though Clavell gets caught up at work a lot, he always makes time for you, and makes sure his schedule doesn’t overlap. When it’s his time with you, he wants you to know and feel like his attention is 100% yours.

- Loves taking you on walks and going to different towns to either have a picnic, or to go to a restaurant there. He always insists on paying, as he doesn’t mind, and it’s his way of thanking your for your patience with him, and his work schedule.

- Loves to lay his head in your lap, and you play with his hair in nice days out, basking in each others warmth and presence. He loves being able to look up at you, and take in your peaceful, content expression. To see the love and mirror it back to you.

- He’s not so much a good cook, he can make small and simple items, but he is mostly an amazing baker, and loves to have a matching apron set with you.

- Slow dancing in the kitchen happens quite a bit, the music slowly filling the room, as he rests his hands on your waist, and gently moving you around the room. Your forehead bonk together as he whispers “I love you.” He couldn’t be happier than right here, with you at his side.

-

-

Maxie

- grumpy cat boyfriend. He cannot stand anyone else but you, you get away with a lot more than the average person in team magma. Such as his open door policy, which is only and specifically for you, if anyone else tries they get a three hour long lecture.

- Maxie loves just existing in the room with you. Say like, you come into his office as he’s doing paperwork, you sit on the little sofa and scroll on your phone, neither of you saying a word, just enjoying the presence of each other.

- Anytime he leaves and he doesn’t let you go with him, he always brings you back a little trinket, as he knows those being you joy. From the biggest plushie, to the smallest rock, he knows you’ll adore it. And he just loves how excited you get to see it, and smother him in kisses, but he’ll never admit it.

- Sometimes he gets lost in thought thinking about you, wondering what you’d like to dinner, or if you’re going to stop by his office for lunch, or thinking about just going back to his room on the base, and just cuddling with you.

- Once he figured out how phones work, his photo album became filled with nothing but pictures of you and his Cramerupt. He keeps his phone and Lock Screen generic, as he wants those pictures to be private and for his eyes only.

- Likes it when you lay on top of him, not only does your body make a good rest for his eyes so he can read, but he also likes the weight of you on him, he finds it and your scent comforting. Like a home he’s always wanted.

- Grumbles and acts like the gift you bought him was not needed, but then quickly is never seen without it. He’s a sentimental man, large gifts mean nothing to him unless it holds a meaning, and he’s weak when you give him a bracelet, it’s easy to hide under his coat, but it’s always there, reminding him you love him, and it’s like he’s always carrying a piece of you with him.

[ghostly-penumbra]

Ectober Werk 2022. Day Twenty-five

"Forest"

He thinks about the body in the woods sometimes.

Hard to forget where you are buried.

 Ao3 FFN

Summary: The Amity Park forest is haunted, in many and varied ways.

Warning: Implied death, murder, drug usage and sexual situations among minors.

- - -

The Amity Park forest is haunted, you need only hear the screams coming from the thick darkness of it.

If you pass by in the night, you will hear the howling of the animals deep within yourself, hollowing you from the inside out until you're shaking like an autumn leaf, about to fall off from the tree that is your life.

Whatever you do, don't follow the laughter. Don't follow the melodious singing and the hollers of youthful joy, because if children can be cruel, teenagers more so, and they wait for you to lower your guard and think them your friends.

Do not harm the fauna here, it is protected by s̶͈̹̭͉͚̬̯̠̰̳̮̫̪̞̐́͂̃́̓́̇́̈́͛͜͠͠ȏ̶̘͔̺m̷̡̛̘̮̙̜̹͕͈̖̲̟̍́͆͐͑̾ȅ̸̱̽̒̒̆̍̎̇o̷̟͙̟̖͂̔͛̿͌͛̐̀̑͒͊̀̑̒͐ń̴̠̊͆̈́̒́̒͋̏e̶̩̹̱͓̱̽̒͒͛ else. There is only one hunter here, and if you try to take his post, you will find you have become the prey.

If you see the pale boy with the white hair and the green eyes, and he asks for help, help him. He will take you through the thickness, and know exactly where to turn, when to duck, how to step around the obstacles on your path. Soon, you will start seeing the light filter through the treetops, making the dust dance in the air around you.

D̶̛͙̹͇̹̈́̓̌̏͑͛̇̊͘̚͝͝ǫ̶̢̝̳̳̼̥̱͈̣͕́͑̈́͛̉ ̵̨̧̫̼̖̩̝̦̌̉̎̀̍̒́̿͋̿͋̊̍n̴̥̹̝̯̣̪̹̺̣̞͈̽͂̈̓́̀̓̏̅̚͜͠͝o̶̖̽̔̾̀̽̀̆͐̌̀͗͠t̴̳̦̰̜͐̈́̎̈́̀̈́͘͝ ̴̫̦̤̬̹͔̺͆͋ḽ̵̨̮̦̘̤̗̹͆͜ͅͅǒ̴̞̲̳́̓̇̏̕͘ö̷̡̮̤̯̝̝̭̪̪̪͕̥́̏̏́̐̓̅̄͋̈́̈͘̚͜͜͝k̷̼̜̭͎̈͛͂͋̕̕ ̷̬̘̥̟̹̫̭͕̞̬̱̮̝́͌̔̉͒̊̈́̌̓ḇ̴̢̢̻̝̦͖̩̙̯̝̌́͂́͑̈́̎̅̍̃́̓͜͝ȩ̷̨̨̯̗͈̠͖̜̘͎͈̳̫̗̈͗́̀̈͛̃́̀͠y̵͇̠̰̬͍̓̂ǫ̵͇̥͉̜̮̭̖̲̔̐͐̿̏͘n̶̢̰̩̙̦͕̖͇͇̋̓͆̍̓͐͐̈́̕͜ͅd̷̛͕̰̤̞̩͛̉̈̾̎̃̆̀͛͝͠ ̵̩͓̜̭̹̲̪̝̤̲̼̦͗̆̎̊̄͠ͅͅţ̷̡̫͚̱͓̦̬̞̦̥̦̮̫̆ḧ̵̦̠̻͈̦̮́̍̇̑̓͝ë̵͚͕̫̎̀̑̕ṃ̶̡̬͙̺̹̤̬̯̹̓̎̈̋͐͊͗̔̐̌̓͝.̸̨̯̦͈̝̖̜̺̲̾́̃̈̎̄̄͋̐̈́̅͘̚͜ͅ

The boy will take you to the clearing, with joyous birds singing, beautiful blue flowers blooming at your feet, and the sound of the running river nearby. The boy will smile and take you by your hand as you look, speechless, at his unmoving form three feet under you. His hair will be black as the feathers of the ravens singing around you, and his eyes the pale blue of the sky above your head, beyond the treetops where you m̸̪͈͉̙͖̟͔̋̀͗̽̓͒̆̋͆̓u̵̡̱͉͌̀̽́̅̃s̸̢̨̠̫̦̣̪̜͛̄͠ṱ̶̨̳͍͖̯̪͈́̿̽́̒̅͗̒̈́͘͜ņ̸̗̲̯̱̼̺̤͉͎͋͂͗̒̋̈́̒͂͘'̸̨̘̲͚̊̍̍̄̃̉̈́́̽̚͘͝t̵̡̤̭͖̹͍̰̞̻͕̝̃̒̒̌́̂͠ look —though some are reminded more of ice, like the one running down your spine when you look into those dead eyes—, but it will be him and you will know it. And as you look upon his half-buried corpse, the boy will push you into the second hole, which he dug himself for you.

You will lie there, unmoving, wordlessly watching him throw shovel after shovel of dirt on you; you won't complain, you won't say a thing, because dead men tell no tales.

You didn't heed my advice, you howled with the wolves and the wild dogs, you laughed and took delight in the carnal and the drugs as you sang your throat raw, you hunted and were hunted in turn so as to know what is like to be predator and be prey.

The boy cried for you and took you to your grave, but don't worry, for he is kind; far kinder than I was with him, and the one before me was in turn. He will bury you properly, and put the blue iris that grows in the clearing atop your grave, and speak on how you will be missed. There won't be need for coins in your eyes, neither of you had any after you followed the laughter of the manic youth, but he will make sure you cross the river nonetheless.

You may rest in peace, as do I, even as the boy stays back, trapped in the forest.

[evansbby]

I'm so late but I just have to talk about my DILF story because I need y'all to know while many (maybe most tbh) DILFs are trash, there are some good ones out here!!!!

Okay so first of all you gotta meet the DILF organically and not on any dating app! Obviously my friends and many women have had bad experiences with even the DILFs they randomly met IRL but you still have a better chance than on Hinge so remember that babes <3 Put yourself out there and pray hard 😭

I met my DILF through friends of friends. I'm lucky enough to be friends with rich people who are popular and know everyone soooo I'm always meeting and interacting with all kinds of people. My friends are also freaky AF so meeting old men is a norm 😭 Atp, I don't even ask how tf they know these people lol. I'm just here for a good time!!!!

So a few years ago, I met this one DILF and he was unlike any guy I'd ever met (I never expected to meet a guy so amazing, seriously). First, I quickly realised he was autistic like me (my friends don't agree because they been hurt but autistic men do it better 😌). We automatically clicked and we became really close friends instantly. I was 21 when we first met and he was 39.

He has triplets but his ex wife (here's where I kinda got the ick: they were childhood sweethearts and dated their whole lives and I have dealt with too many men like that to not know better 😖) has full custody of the kids and are raising them with her fiancé at the time (they've been married a long time now), one of the men she had been cheating on him with and the one who got her pregnant 😗.

Anywayz he had been divorced for a few years already but I was sooooo scaredddd. We had insane sexual tension between us from day 1 that we tried to deny but we also had this friendship and bond..I didn't know what to do. And my friends weren't helpful 😒 They just wanted me to hop on his dick and get over with it smh.

One day a horny demon possessed me and I just started kissing him while I was chilling at his house 🙈 (I also stopped having sex when he entered my life sooo there's that). He kissed me back really hesitantly. Like he would kiss me passionately for a few seconds and then just stop as I kissed him all over his face and neck. After some time of him doing that, he pushed me off of his lap and said he doesn't wanna take advantage of me I'm much too younger than him etc (I was 23 and he was 41). Girlllll the horniness was really in control cause I really told this man "You can take advantage of me all you want" 😭 which left him speechless lmao

We ended up talking it out though haha and after centuries of me telling him "Yes I want this I want you the age gap isn't a big deal" we scheduled a date. The first date happened and he wasn't gonna have sex with me until a while after to show how much he respects me (his words) but I begged him like crazy 🙈 and after the first few dates where I was a huge tease hehe we made love in his bedroom. TMI but he was the first man I've ever met (didn't know they even existed....) to spend most of the time eating me out front and behind 🏃‍♀️ He worshipped my body and the foreplay was insane he really kissed all over my body so slowly and gently I came by the time he was making out with my thighs🏃‍♀️ He focused on me the entire time I knew I had to wife him up 😊😚

So we're married now. Really betraying my people for this beautiful white man 😖 We recently agreed that we wanna have kids soon 😌 So remember girlies you gotta manifest and believe in yourself. You can and will find a good DILF 🧚‍♂️

Your high standards will bring good things 💞 I have had the worst experiences with men you could ever think of and I was still able to meet my soulmate 😚 It will happen for you all I promise!!!!

WELL DAMN

Yeah, I think you hit the lottery with this rich and thoughtful dilf who sounds like he’s AMAZING in bed too 😭😭😭 OKAY WERK MISS Y/N

Also I’ve noticed so many of y’all are the ones who make the first move! I love that for you guys! Personally I’ve never made the first move bc I have the crippling fear of being rejected !! 🤠🤠 BUT MAYBE I SHOULD START MAKING THE FIRST MOVE SINCE IT HAS WORKED FOR SO MANH OF YOU 😂🥹

[inspiteallthedanger]

You are going to spend a romantic and sexy evening with George Harrison.

Which version of him do you want:

1965 George, lounging on the pink chair in the George V hotel with the champagne bottle on the table (Jean-Marie Périer photo)

"Fashion is my life" George from Get Back in his pink pinstripe suit and purple ruffle shirt

Zen George, inventing the man bun

Yassss, thank you for this. It's really made my day to get to think of this, to distract me from the end of my trip.

George my man. New rating system for this, because he deserves it. We'll run each of these through the Shagometric reader and see what results we get, I think.

Pink champagne George

There's lot to love here, huh? He’s so fresh and pretty. He’s full of sass and enjoying life. Also he just does swag better than any of the others. Facts.

Shagometric reading: a 7.9. Good, but not the best

Fashion, werk George

This is very "you might think I broke up the band, but I look to good for you to bring it up now". So, I'm into it for that. I also need to give extra points for how hard George worked to look off the charts good for this entire project, compared to the others.

Shagometric reading: 9. Mostly for the pre-divorce, look what you're missing vibes of it all

Man Bun George

This look. This look. It makes me want to invent time travel so I can go back and touch his hair. Or, you know, grab hold of it. I've also always had a thing for men with long shiny hair like this. It's my ideal. Look at him.

Shagometric reading: off the scale.

Man bun George takes the day and also my heart (and anything else he fancies to be honest).

[dykefever]

Okayyyy I finished tsasog and without further ado here is me simping:

God I missed your wolfstar the UST, the chemistry is unparalleled. I need my wolfstar pathetic and intense and pining mutually right off the bat and you delivered. Don't think I didn't see Remus's reaction when he caught sight of Sirius in his church that first time!

Ok some of my fave metaphors (not incl. religious) that have stuck with me: spit watermelon seed for Lola. Holding a cherry pit under his tongue waiting for Remus. That whole description of James in the last chapter omg.

Having never watched Fleabag bc of the triggers, to me, the way you described missing your dead friend, and what it felt like for Sirius right after she died-- it's accurate. All of it. Thank you for treating it tenderly and honestly. It made me feel less crazy tbh.

Ok onto the Hot Priest bit. Again, only you and only wolfstar will have me buying into The Hot Priest (like yes, Sirius, Get On Your Knees for Remus where you belong. The fingers on his tongue, like he is receiving the Eucharist, the Body of Christ, only hello it's the body of Remus John Lupin). I weirdly grew up with a brand of priest where being hot was part of their whole thing to like "attract people to God" but then like try being fifteen and in confession and having to tell said priest you let your bf touch your boobs shit got weird.

ON THAT NOTE. I am FERAL for all the religious/sacrilegious metaphors and perversions and commentary. I already talked about Sirius receiving "communion," but Sirius crucifying himself on a FIRE ESCAPE with his pathetic love for Remus? Perfect. If you ever need a beta for that shit PLEASE let me put my catholic education to werk. I once wrote a metaphor comparing a sex facial to the baptism of Jesus in the river jordan. I got a lifetime of knowledge.

I'll end with this: Remus, after he leaves the church and goes to Sirius and professes his love-- that experience was beautifully depicted. Remus saying that religion is a source of goodness and truth and peace, and if you aren't experiencing that, then it's not what you are meant to be doing: SO TRUE. And then there's that feeling of freedom and happiness and joy you have when you are brave enough to truly follow your path, even if it means giving up an identity and a life and a truth you once believed. It's terrifying but exhilarating once you make it to the other side. But yeah, that idea of bone-deep, constant "suffering," as Remus called it, while staying in the church, and then realizing that that is not what church or God or love should actually feel like- that is the *only* way a truly devout person will ever have the strength to walk away from it. You nailed it.

Hope this ask isn't too unhinged but like what is the point of fandom if you cant pull shit like this amirite? Thank you for sharing your writing-- you are doing the lord's work. xxooo

hello hello!!!! i love this ask definitely not too unhinged thank you for all ur lovely words :-) and thank you for including the bits from the last ask i somehow deleted 😭😭

i actually can’t write r/s without UST and like intense amounts of pathetic pining it just doesn’t make sense to me thank you for seeing my vision and loving it!! i’m really honoured you read this work despite it having some triggering material for you - and then also feeling i honoured the events that happen and treated it well. whenever i write difficult topics (grief, mental health struggles, unhealthy relationships etc) im always trying to approach it with care and honesty and vulnerability! drawing from what i know and how i think that character would also react to these events. but yeah thank you :-) particularly irt religion which i have some knowledge of but not hugely, i actually ended up doing a lot of research and like reading priest’s experiences in the church and why they chose the profession etc and then why some leave. and i’m glad the last part resonated because religion isn’t inherently evil or bad and i didn’t want r to be like i don’t want any of it! but to actually connect with his faith again to realise that the way he was practicing and engaging with his religion was no longer healthy and no longer the best way to like connect with it and god!!

and damn i wish i had gotten you on board for the religious metaphors 😭 you would have taken it the next level aidjfjw but thank you so much for all these lovely words!!!! just loved reading all this :-) xxxx

[krimitastisch]

Empfehlung für heute

Hubert ohne Staller

18:50 Uhr im Ersten

SOKO Wismar

18:00 Uhr im ZDF

Bones - Die Knochenjägerin

20:15 Uhr auf VOX

Akte Ex

14:10 Uhr im NDR

Tatort: Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf‼️

(Ep. 502, Tatort Köln, Ballauf und Schenk)

0:20 Uhr im WDR

Wattmann ermittelt

13:25 Uhr im SWR

SWR Wunsch-"Tatort": Abstimmen auf meinSWR.de‼️🍀

22:00 Uhr im SWR

Tatort: Bienzle und die Feuerwand‼️

(Ep. 315, Tatort Stuttgart, Bienzle)

23:30 Uhr im SWR

Tatort: Der höllische Heinz‼️

(Ep. 1078, Tatort Weimar, Dorn und Lessing)

22:10 Uhr im MDR

The Thing About Pam

20:15 Uhr auf Super RTL

Navy CIS: New Orleans

20:15 Uhr auf SAT.1 Gold

Steinschlag

20:35 Uhr auf SRF 2

Miss Marple: Mord nach Maß

20:15 Uhr auf ONE

Wilsberg: Gottes Werk und Satans Kohle

20:15 Uhr auf ZDF NEO

[efangamez]

One of the things I miss about being popular on Twitter was that when I wanted a pizza, someone would send me money for one

Mannnnnnn I was spoiled lmao. Now I have to WERK for that pizza!!! Hey, the harder the work, the sweeter the pizza!

[theblackinfluencers]

The Influencers

Black Women In Music

The record for the most Grammy Awards won in a lifetime is held by Beyoncé, a Black singer, songwriter, and dancer, who has won 32.

Beyoncé, Lizzo, Lauryn Hill, Solange(Pictured above), Chaka Kan, Normani, Nicki Minaj, Brandy,Jill Scott, Megan Thee Stallion, Queen Latifah

All Black Women who have led and are leading music in a great way. Black women's place in music is irreplaceable and that shown thru not only the support from music lovers but the charts as well.

Patti Labelle, Godmother of Soul.

Gladys Knight, Empress of Soul.

Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul.

Dionne Warwick, Queen of Smooth Pop.

Miss Diana Ross, The Boss and Queen of Motown

Lizzo is like a one-woman variety show. The girl can sing, she can dance, she can rap and she can play the damn flute. Lizzo has endless wit and charm, and can work any stage (and I’m not just talking about her twerk werk, ya hear?). But it don’t end there. What’s most special about Lizzo, is how real she is. She is absolutely inspiring 

Jill Scott , A mature R&B vocalist who excelled with slower, sensual material ("Slowly, Surely," "I'm Not Afraid," "My Love") and was versatile enough to pack plenty of punch with anthems of pride and self-empowerment ("Golden," "Family Reunion," "Hate on Me"), Jill Scott grew up in north Philadelphia and began her performing career reading her own poetry.

Janelle Monae, Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter, arranger, producer, and actor Janelle Monáe left her mark on 2010s R&B with an energized retro-futuristic sound wrapped in theatrical science fiction concepts.

When Mary J. Blige's debut album, What's the 411?, hit the street in July 1992, critics and fans were floored by its powerful combination of modern R&B and edgy rap production that glanced off of the pain and grit of the singer's New York upbringing.

The list of influential women in music can go on for hours. But 1 thing that is certain is that they make their marks, go with their move, and are here to stay.

[resmarted]

was put on schedule for the day I thought I would be off so all my pkgs got stolen ofc

never thought I would come to loathe this neighborhood so much. used to be convinced I would get a 70117 tattoo bc of my lifelong love of this place but so glad I didn't curse my skin with it.

got an omen that a person I work with and I will fall in love and was like is it the ukrainian Shia LaBeouf looking dude? tonight I caught him dancing to shoop by salt n pepa while we rolled silverware together and learned as much as I could about his life in a span of 20 minutes. very fascinating kid with a complex life and view of the world.

also keep getting omens I need to leave behind people that siphon my energy so what, like everyone? just be alone all the time forever etc?

literally never get a shift drink after werk but got a marg and smoked the second cigarette mike gave me yesterday. feeling like a person and a sinner and also worried I am backtracking and need to repent by never relaxing again for another six months.

so. sick. of never. relaxing.

australians love my Kath and Kim impression it's my greatest claim to fame w them. we both go "lookit moiiii" at each other and scream laughing together. then I overshare how gina riley got me through a period of extreme depression bc I love to make it weird. they seem to find it relatable tho.

should probably rewatch gina riley comedies now that I am experiencing the most excruciating period of mental anguish of my life (after a lifelong full of this, like the absolute worst of the worst at this point)

quietly fell deeply in love with a table full of hot dark eyed hyper-educated brunette women discussing very intellectual things and wanted to run away with all of them

everyone thinks I'm weird for using pen and paper and rebelling against the toast(tm) machines but I hate them. I hate the way it interrupts interaction I hate how you have to type in your stupid little requests it makes things awkward at the table I'm writing with a pen so suck all the dicks.

things aren't the worst but also things feel like the worst. very tiring to deal with all the time.

I miss spending time with my cat we are apart far too much and this life is so stupid and meaningless and nothing even matters.

will try to find normal things to say tomorrow bye

[predestinatos]

Hi queen, not to stress you out but when are we getting more content? 🥺 Kinda miss you

i promiseee i'll post something new soon! like before the end of this werk for sure! i'm working on a request and some other things hehe

sorry for the delay, holiday season is always a mess... but thank u for the support <3 reallyyyy means a lot and keeps me going

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first watch of south park -- season four (part 4)

LORD THIS IS SO LONG SD GSDBGKSBKJ

EPISODE 11:

AYO WHAT IS THIS BEEEEAAAT BRO?!?!?!?!?!?!?

THIS INTRO IS SO GOOD I AM SHAKING ASS

12/10 INTRO CARD SLAYED THE HOUSE DOWN BOOTS HOUSTON I'M D E C E A S E D

they are now 4th graders !!! they abt to be 9 years old !!!

wendy and BEBE MY KIDS IN FRAME I LOVE IT

stan be for real Y'ALL AIN'T ABT TO SHOW ASS TO THE NEW TEACHER

BUTTERS JKDNSGJNJKDSNGKJNDFK HE'S UNHINGED UR HONOUR

I am looking respectfully. this lady's breasts are ENORMOUS

MS. CHOKES ON DICK ARE U CEREAL SDJFBJISDBGK

stan, baby, we gotta work on ur jokes.

THE WAY IT WAS ONLY CARTMAN DSAHFBJDSBG GET BONED

TWEEK IS ME FR

cartman in his elvis era

NO NOT CLYDE CRYING JSDFBGKJSDBKJHBKSD MY FUCKING BABY DON'T CRY MI AMOR

clyde and wendy giving butters the bombastic side eye

these boys abt to use timmy as time travel bait NOT COOL

Mr garrison?!?!?!? where art thou

wendy sussing out the specifics iktr

damn. timmy went flying.

nah not y'all doing timmy dirty...

WHAT THE FUCK LADY DON'T GRIND YASELF ON TIMMY HE DID NOTHING

20 MINS UNTIL TIMMY IS BLOWN UP. I HOPE WE NEVER GET THERE

Mr garrison backstory damn

of course they gonna put kenny w the exploding chair I mean how else this man gonna die huh

OMG EW U ARE SICK FOR THIS DEATH

TIMMY SAYING PLS HELP???? HIS FIRST WORDS

OH FUCK THERE HE GO INTO SPACE

NO NOT THE PREHISTORIC TIMES

MR GARRISON AS A MONK FOR MISS CHOKSONDIK

garrison pls just come out as gay PLEASE THIS PONDERING IS SO BORINGGGG

THANK YOU LORD

all the FACULTY BEING SUPPORTIVE OF GARRISON AS THEY

F U C K I N G SHOULD

I take it back, y'all freaks

EPISODE 12:

ITS BEEN A COUPLE WEEKS BUT IM BACK AND THIS INTRO STILL BUSTS DOWN HOLY

IKE IN A BUSINESS SUIT ?!?! clean af boi

FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN !!!

NOT KYLE AND CARTMAN HAVING THE SAME THING

cartman always 1 uppin Kyle LMAO

who the fuck is this man.

BILL COSBY ?!,!

KYLE GET HIM

Stan being the voice of reason so real

NOT THE KIDS BULLYING IKE BOOO

Mr.Garrison bro these kids understand jack shit

KYLE BEING SMART he’s that straight A kid wbk

Kyle and Ike geniuses

CARTMAN RELAX LANDISMXKMAKD

STOP IKE IS QUAKING

BILL COSBY STEALING THE TRAPPER KEEPER LMAO

FLORA 💘 A BABY GIRL

KINDERGARTENERS RIOTING

Cartman UNHINGED

OH HE A ROBOT ?!?!,

so basically Eric destroys the future alright

FLORA DECIDED !! IKE SLAY

LMAOOOO THE RECOUNT

the kiddos are FERAL

KYLE AND CARTMAN FIGHTING FOR NO REASON

everyone okay with killing cartman

“KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE FAT BOY” Stan spitting facts

DAMN THEY GETTING THE BIG GUNS IN

OH FUCK THAT THING IS SCARY

liane my beloved

LIANE OH MY GOD SHE GETTIN ROBOT DICK

OH FUCK CARTMAN OH NO

NOT KENNY

JESUS CHRIST OH MY GOD

liane still getting it tho LMAO

OH god KYLE it’s gross in THERE

NO KYLE MY KING SAVE HIM

MR GARRISON POPPED AWF AS HE SHOULD 💅🏻

this cartman monstrosity makes me physically sick

IKE WINS LIKE THE KING HE IS

cartman this is so gross

Stan forcing cartman to thank Kyle and doesn’t HAHAH

EPISODE 13

AAAAAA STENDYLEEEEE

Wendy looks SO CUTE JEICKSKXKDKXKC SHE IS THE GHURL

Stan and his fake beard WERK

KYLE MY SON

I’ve been famished of stendy/STENDYLE content pls excuse me

STENDY HAS A DAUGHTER OH MY GOOOOODDDDD

Timmy LOL

BEBE MY GIRL LETS GOOOOOO

BUTTER SPRINTING

CLYDE AND TOLKIEN OH MY GOD SO CUTE

the kids are so cute I can’t

Wendy speaking boosts my serotonin

GOBBLES :)))))

Timmy protecting gobbles is so sweet

OH FUCK TIMMY SAID JUMP THRU THE RING OF FIRE

AWWW GOBBLES SLEEPING W TIMMY IM CRYING SO WHOLESOME

Clyde slayed

THE KIDS ARE SO CUTE DANCING

kybe crumbs they beside each other

TURKSLAY

BEBE MAIN SLAYER

OH FUCK KENNY

Gobbles sacrificed Kenny for himself not slay

this man manipulating Timmy NOT COOL

cartmans brain is so whack

EW SOME OF THESE VISUALS ARE SO DISTURBING I can’t

NO TIMMY IM SORRY MY LOVE 😭😭😭

NOT HEIDI’S DOG :((((

ALL THE DADS SETTING UP CAMERAS LIKE DADS DO IS SO CUTE AND VERY WHOLESOME 😭 very slay of them

I SEE WENDY AND TOLIKEN CHITTY CHATTIN IN THE BACK 👀 SPARKS ?!?!

DONT KILL GOBBLES

OKAY PRODUCTION !!!!

OH DAMN THEY KILLED SO MANY TURKEYS

STENDY MOMENT STENDY MOMENT I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

singing for their fake baby IM DEAD

I have BIG FEELINGS FOR MY KIDS

STAN AND WENDY YELLING AT THE PLASTIC BABY WHY ARE THEY SO UNHINGED I LOVE THEM

them faking their deaths to end the act is so REAL. no one is doing it like my kids ON GOD

NO HE SHOT TIMMY

IM SO UPSET

WATER HELEN

I know WENDY HITTING THAT HIGH NOTE I JUST KNOW

OH FUCK THEY KILLED THAT TURKEY ON THE SPOT

gobbles !!!!

butters. Oh my god

Okay another part bc I fear the character limit

[davidblaska]

America paralyzed by writers' strike?

There’s enough good stuff that we missed! We get the impression that John Nichols and his comrades at The Nation (we really do love you, John!) won’t be satisfied until the world goes on strike for higher wages, better living conditions, and an end to that climate changie thing. If anyone should go on strike, it’s writers — if only because the esteemed founder of Blaska Policy Werkes was once…

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

Creamy 11:11

i Saw someone carrying a tree trunk at 14th square union n Soy gay. :-] i think im a crime detective from a weird thingy that happened 7 wks ago i kant talk ab online cuz ill get the eebeegeebeez. Alll i kan say is dat iz if someone seys they hav a steak n it iz a hunk of meet it probz means they r loco 4 coco puffz . but BASICALLYZZ. i thought i saw a ded bodie wiff my fwendz this week n then we went to tha police tht said it was jus a mannequin . So ima fight whoever fuked up FIT student / parsons fashion student did dis. Cuz im happi no one died but holy shiet i kant take back the 24 hours i wuz freaking out n depressed n lookin up NYPDz twitter account for missing pplz . N legal ritez for anonymous tippers cuz i not tryna lose mi job or B interrogateD cuz like Im a scared poc dyke!!!!!!!!!! N ive always imagined myself gettin so anxious on a lie detector test tht id like somehow start admitting tht i committedd some crime out of psychological fragility tht id just end up gettin moiself arrested . Also didn’t obv wanna call police cuz like i wanna protect unhoused people in my community cuz where we were adventuring we imagined therewere def ppl living there. Whatevs. I don wanna b a hero anymore. im DONE.!!

i Fell down the stairs n i Think i brok my arm !!!!! i blame mi fwendz New rockz platform but. Tis okie . i has limited mobility rite meow . Physical pain hit diff cuz it’s just so shocking . Idk how i used to think i was invincible when i wuld get new piercings every week n not feel a thing or when i wuz a fucked up punk teen i wuld ask to get black eyez on triple C’s . Now im just a pussy bitch!!

i Saw someone carrying a tree trunk at 14th square union n Soy gay. :-] i think im a crime detective from a weird thingy that happened 7 wks ago i kant talk ab online cuz ill get the eebeegeebeez. Alll i kan say is dat iz if someone seys they hav a steak n it iz a hunk of meet it probz means they r loco 4 coco puffz . but BASICALLYZZ. i thought i saw a ded bodie wiff my fwendz this week n then we went to tha police tht said it was jus a mannequin . So ima fight whoever fuked up FIT student / parsons fashion student did dis. Cuz im happi no one died but holy shiet i kant take back the 24 hours i wuz freaking out n depressed n lookin up NYPDz twitter account for missing pplz . N legal ritez for anonymous tippers cuz i not tryna lose mi job or B interrogateD cuz like Im a scared poc dyke!!!!!!!!!! N ive always imagined myself gettin so anxious on a lie detector test tht id like somehow start admitting tht i committedd some crime out of psychological fragility tht id just end up gettin moiself arrested . Also didn’t obv wanna call police cuz like i wanna protect unhoused people in my community cuz where we were adventuring we imagined therewere def ppl living there. Whatevs. I don wanna b a hero anymore. im DONE.!!

my ex gf from 2020 who was a life long lesbian is trying to b bisexual w my roommates de transitioning situation ship (they them de transitioning to he him) N the person who did Tha Spotify wrapt graphics made me hummus from scratch once n gav me head. And it wuz mid.

A goth gurl yelled at meh asking for ear muffs where i werk n i liked it. another goth girl introduced herself to meh as her sign n pan sexuality n i sed i like woks too . Secwet pour wuz fun n i met a “12 yr old person in a 27 yr old body “who had 5 diff insta accounts n a black eye n his insta bio was www.lanadelrey.com for all 5 accounts . Sameziez. Lana del rey is soooo hot and i want to b shooka shooka how now take my body downtown . I kant wait for baby jesus tree day cuz ima be wiff my fam in la and my bestie soulmate lily Cuz Im done crying im so done feeling not enough n stupid and reserved. i realize sometimes i laff sm n joke sm cuz i rly rly rly rly jus wanna cry. i hav accepted conflict is part of life n relationships tho.

My chiron n venus n mars r in scorpio n idk if my bad luck or feeling of being misunderstood will ever leave meh. Nihilism approaches me in a beautifully wrapped gift package n i confront it everyday with the self restraint to not touch the ribbonz.

My pattern app tells meh i yam here on earth to bring ppl happiness n laughter . But i wanna b on earth to get Fucked n eat hotpot . Moi therapist says i’m selfless . But i need to b selfish n address my vagimismis so i kan hav 4 somes with my bestie . :-[ Whut else r fwendz for.

Sometimes when i feel really sad i take the wrong direction home n sit on the train watching the way it passes thru the tunnels . Its mostly accidental . Cuz mi heads in a million directions n even tho my body remembers the way that i should go and which direction downstairs uptown is and which direction upstairs downtown is ……. on the wkends the subways r always messed up. Wiff the Q and the R running where the N line usually does , and the L being broken . N replacement buses and shuttles . Im just exhausted . N still don’t feel like im catching up w as much melatonin induced sleepful nites n adderal filled tweakerish days where im running around doing a million things n still don’t wear out . Im feeling so protective over what i own and what i know

I don’t know why it hurts so badly. And I want to be whole hearted and sincere so badly that i am willing to put all my heart and all my hurt in all of my relationships. i see everyone around me as people ive chosen to go deep with. Like oceans, like deep taverns. like an adventure.and with each journey we spend together, it accumulates time and time ends up being nonexistent. i love deeply, and i love hard. there is a profound love i find that surpasses irony and excuse when i love others and that love makes me love myself. Every time I give, I am bearing and subjecting myself to the weight of love. every time i smile or ask “how are you?” or “do you need anything?” or “do you feel safe?” it is out of wanting others to feel filled. i think hurt and pain and hate and love share the same excuses and for that, i think they need the same pardoning. so i will wipe the crumbs off of my lips, excuse myself from the dining table. every memory of all those i have kept dear to me are as lockets dangling around my heart. ifear to lose it so I’ll hold on tight. i don’t wanna imagine days where we share different toothpaste we fall slumber in different paths embracing each other in a different sun light .

Lost the rest of this on my old blog …. :(

renny <\3