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#miss williams is everything to me
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can i real quick point out that ezekiel banks's rapid fire replying to 'hey, man, i get it. i wouldn't wanna be stuck with some kid either.' is 'you don't wanna be my partner.'
not some aggressive rude shit like 'fucking rookie's cracking cases already!' or the classic 'yeah, ain't i goddamn lucky? now shut up.' or even keeping the same pissed off ignoring he did with the handshake; he goes brutally honest on how he sees it, how he's been experiencing life. you don't want me around you. nobody does.
his biggest argument against having a partner is that he can't trust anyone, the second he gets william he's throwing his worldview and personal truths at him as if testing how raw, distastefully blunt he can be because his biggest trouble around that department IS honesty. so he complains and bitches, he suddenly keeps him out of the loop on personal matters and bosses william around, he talks shit about their colleagues and tells his new partner that he did a good job because that's who he is after a busy, full day. a guy that can admit william's a good addition. that can back the fuck up and be a bit softer on the rookie.
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crumbleclub · 1 year
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I find it interesting to think of William as someone who has mostly normal-appearing social interactions. He's not the life of the party or anything, but he's charming enough. People like him. While he's not super attached to others, he does get entertainment out of a lot of social activities, so he does seek them out. Henry's kids absolutely love him; he's their fun uncle who tells great stories and helps them with their math homework.
He's cruel to his own children, especially as time goes on; but they see moments of fun and kindness, too. That's what hurts them the most, I think.
William is capable of being considerate and kind, but he decided that they weren't worth it.
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can-of-worm · 1 year
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i want william's kill count to increase every episode.
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themacabrebarbie · 2 months
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tag drop !
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camellcat · 11 months
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alright. god. I finally got to The Angels Take Manhattan.
okay, here's the thing: I was going in expecting to cry, right? but not really, cause not once in this entire show have I cried outside of something being related to rose tyler. but also, extremely attached to amy. I mean, seriously. she's my second favorite companion by a landslide.
so when I barely even teared up at rory and amy bloody falling together I didn't think it was gonna happen! I thought, oh, y'know, if this doesn't get me surely nothin' will. well. WELL.
suddenly rory is taken and amy is ready to go after him because it's amy and rory together as it should be and eleven is begging for her not to and then he says my favorite catchphrase of "come along, pond" but then he adds in that "please!" which utterly fucking ruins me (I mean, I'm already crying, yeah? this had me... oh man. sobbing might not even cut it. that shit fucked. me. up!) and then she says "raggedy man, goodbye!" and I've been got. I mean, I'm crying so hard I'm lightheaded. my sheets are soaked, my face is disgusting, my glasses need to be cleaned. I'm a right fucking mess.
this doesn't have a point I'm just so distraught right now. like. I just. I didn't. ohhh. I didn't really think I had it in me to care that much anymore! not about this! it's Doomsday all over again! GOD. I think I'll be a bit sad but ultimately fine and then I'm NOT. fuck! fuck me, man. amelia pond. I love you
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bayofwolves · 7 months
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thinking so many thoughts about sasha's death in twd
one of my favourite characters ever, i'm glad they gave her such a moving and meaningful sendoff. i also love how her death parallels tyreese's. (a part of me wishes we saw him and bob in sasha's pre-death flashbacks, but on the other hand the focus on abraham and maggie made it easier to follow.)
walker-sasha bursting out of that coffin and almost! taking negan down was sick as fuck, sickest thing i've seen on the show in a while tbh. i seriously wish the writers had let her kill him in that moment. i wanted to see her do what she had set out to do, even if it had to be in death!
sasha's relationships with both abraham and maggie are so special to me, and the flashback scenes made me want to cry. the emotional depth that abe and sasha had was unexpected but so refreshing, and ofc i loved sasha and maggie's homoerotic friendship even before they both lost their partners in the same cataclysmic event and had to find a way forward together. the addition of sasha and rosita's development in the previous episode was also stellar and i love how their dynamic turned out. eugene's recent development has got me so hooked it's not even funny, and his moments with sasha were gold. sasha's moments with Everybody leading up to her death were gold.
kind of wanna see how it would have turned out if sasha had truly joined negan along with eugene. might need to look for some aus now...
i've just finished s7 and the heartache is still fresh, but ultimately i am satisfied with sasha's ending. they did her justice. i hope she's at peace now, with abraham and her brother 🤍
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bethiewhimsy · 2 years
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im so so so excited to have if i did you deserved it on spotify im gonna loop the shit out of that song
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if William and Eliza are Mulder and Scully, then it's not even hard to see that Detective Fitzroy is Agent Pendrell
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cvntluver444 · 1 month
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taking what’s not yours
best friends girlfriend!ellie williams x reader
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-`♡´- summary : you’ve been in love with your best friends girlfriend forever now. you leave it alone thinking nothing will happen, but what if ellie has been secretly wanting you too?
-`♡´- warnings : smut minor dni, teeny bit of angst? cheating, breaking girl code, perv!ellie, dina slander (ilysm dina it’s for the plot im sorry), public stufff, abby x reader and ellie x dina in beginning, strap sex, fingering, oral, spanking, slapping, dirty talk, dom!ellie x sub!reader, reader is receiving everything lol, crying, masturbation watching!, ellie says some nasty things so if that’s not your thing you can skip this one, intended lowercase, if i missed any please let me know! <3
-`♡´- a/n : SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMG this was so much fun to write i’ve been dying to post this!! i really hope you all like it! if you do, please show your support i appreciate it so much! if you don’t no worries! i’m a new writer so i can’t please everyone but i hope i do :p
🇵🇸 as always, please continue to keep sharing and supporting Palestine 🇵🇸
daily click
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“first double date!” your best friend dina screams in your shared apartment. you laugh and you finish putting in your earrings. “i’m so happy you finally stopped thinking about this mystery crush i don’t know about!” your heart skips a couple beats but you play it off.
“yeah you’re welcome, now you can get those bff double dates you’ve always wanted,” you say smiling at her.
“i know! and abby?” dina lets out an impressed whistle. “ok girl she’s cute!” you laugh and give her a friendly shove. abby was really hot. she had the biggest arms, and she was so tall it felt like she almost towered over you, but there was just something about her that didn’t make you fall for her, or maybe it was something about you? maybe you just didn’t find her all that cute, maybe you just haven’t given her enough time, or maybe it’s because-
“oh hey babe!” dina cheers and runs over to where the door just opened. oh yeah, that’s why.
“hey, you look good,” ellie says sending you a smirk and making your cheeks go warm. “what are you so dressed up for?” you and dina give her a confused look.
“remember els? our double date?” dina excitedly tried to remind her. “i told you about it yesterday but i think you were too busy on your phone.” she then tells her with an annoyed look on her face. ellie’s eyes widen.
“oh! uh i didn’t know that was you. i thought it was another one of your friends babe?” ellie says, a slight panic in her voice.
“ellie, she is like my only friend, or the only friend who would be going on a double date with us.” dina tells her. ellie finally understands then turns her line of vision towards you. “who’s the lucky lady?” she tries to joke.
wish it were you you silently think to yourself. but that’s wrong to think, because ellie is your best friends girlfriend and ellie sees you as her girlfriends best friend. that would be wrong, and stupid, and horrible, and kinda hot, just sneaking around and-
“abby. abby anderson.” you finally say, quickly snapping yourself out of your disgusting thoughts. ellie’s eyes widen again.
“wait abby?” she finally says. “oh uh that’s fun yeah this will be fun.” she rambles on. you and dina give each other confused looks but quickly forget about it once you three gather into ellie’s car and head to the restaurant.
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you, dina, and ellie enter a small and dark restaurant that you randomly found this morning. it was a cute and casual place and all you wanted to do now was drink.
“you guys go and grab a table, im gonna order us some drinks and wait for abs.” you tell them.
“ok cutie you know what i want!” dina excitedly tells you. giggling, you send her a thumbs up and turn towards the bartender to put in your order, missing the way ellie stared at you when your heavenly laugh filled the restaurant.
after putting in your order, you feel a big pair of hands wrap around you and squeeze. you let out a a quick gasp before slowly sinking into the body behind you.
“abby you scared me!” you laugh and you turn around, giving her a hug.
“aw sorry gorgeous i just had to,” she said, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. you catch up at the bar while you wait for you drinks. once you got them, you and abby headed to a corner table in the back to join the rest of your friends.
“abby’s here!” you excitedly say as dina gets up to give her a hug. you see ellie glance at her from the side of eye and make a small scoff.
odd you think.
“i’m so glad you could join us! you know ellie right?” dina asks and you and abby sit down. dina has the biggest smile on her face as she sits accrocs from you and chats with abby, who puts her arm around you. you could almost hear ellie scrunch up next to you at the touch.
you turn to her, “you ok?” you ask quietly. her facial expression changes into her usual smug as she asks you what you mean. “never mind, sorry,” you say back. you try your hardest to join in on dina and abby’s conversation, attempting to force ellie out of you mind but to no avail.
this is gonna be a long night.
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a couple drinks later, all four of you had a good buzz and conversation was flowing. abby’s arm fell off your shoulders as you drunkenly leaned into her. you were actually starting to have a really great time with abby. she was so sweet and respectful, and you could definitely see this going somewhere. you think she might feel the same when you feel a hand on your thigh, opposite side of abby. when did her hand get there?
you gasp. “abby!” you say her name playfully. “stopp” you drag out innocently.
“huh? i’m not doing anything,” she says back to you, confused look on her face. mhm you hum back. you allow her her hand to dance around on your thigh, until it finally moves up a little more, and her fingertips graze under your skirt. goosebumps cover your skin at how soft and delicate her fingers were.
“ok not funny anymore,” you slap her arm playfully, praying dina and ellie are too invested in their own conversation to see what’s going on under the table.
“i didn’t say anything,” abby laughs, “maybe you’re done with the drinks.” but then her fingers go from under your skirt, to under your underwear. you moan quietly and abby stares at you again.
“you good baby?” she asks, but you can’t respond because now her fingers are slowly pumping into your wet cunt, and as soon as they do, you hear a moan from ellie next to you.
you look over, seeing ellie and dina quietly making out next to you and your heart drops a bit. you wonder if they’re doing the same thing as you and abby, the table cloth covering your lower halves. the fingers in your pussy speed up their movements and your attention is back towards abby.
“fuck abs,” you breathe out.
“oh baby, what are you doing to me,” she moans out, both her hands coming to cup you face as she shoves her tongue down your throat, her fingers still reaching your spo-
wait what?
you stop kissing abby and dramatically look at her hands on your face. you count once, twice, three times. both hands on your face, one still deep inside of you. you panic and look around to where ellie and dina are still making out, however as you look back down, you realize it was never abby making you come close to cumming in fucking public.
it was ellie.
“oh my god!” you let out as you quickly stand up.
“hey hey hey you okay?” abby asks. both her and dina look startled at your reaction, as well as the whole restaurant. your head is spinning as you look around to see all the people staring at you.
ellie
instead of giving you a concerned look, she instead looks up into your eyes and smirks, bringing the fingers that were just inside you, to her lips, and slowly sucking your juices off her fingers. her gaze never leaving yours.
“bathroom,” you silently let out still in shock. “i’m gonna go to the bathroom.” you tried your hardest not to stutter as you run to hide. once inside, you finally allow everything to hit you, hating yourself that you were even more turned on that it was ellie, your best friends girlfriend.
you gather your thoughts and try to keep everything down as you head back to the table. you see all of them standing up already, telling you it was probably a good time to head home. you agree, following them out the restaurant door.
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the four of you make your way inside you and dina’s apartment, all of your happy banter filling the room.
“hey i think me and ellie were gonna head to bed, see you in the morning abby?” dina asks, a scowl on ellie’s face behind her.
“yeah, if that’s okay with you?” abby turns to look at your figure.
“yeah of course!” you cheerfully say, still feeling guilty about earlier. abby gives you a warm smile and your eyes stray away to look over at ellie, her eyes meeting yours. her frown turning to a smirk when she catches your gaze. you quickly turn away, feeling so much smaller than usual.
everyone heads upstairs and into the rooms. abby and you crawl into your bed as silence takes over.
“you sure you were okay today?” she asks you.
“yeah, i’m sorry i think i just drank too much.” you tell her laughing, a big smile on her when you do. the room falls quiet once again, before abby breaks it.
“you’re so beautiful.” you blush at her compliment and give her a quick peck.
“you’re too good to me.” you say, the situation earlier still not leaving your mind. instead of answering, abby pulls you into a more passionate kiss. she grows greedy and shoves her tongue into your mouth, showing dominance. she climbs on top of you and her kisses start trailing down your neck.
“fuck abby,” you moan out, she groans back in response, her kisses trail lower and lower until they’re finally resting on top of your clothes cunt. you beg her to do something before she slowly starts taking off your shorts, followed by your panties, leaving you in just your t-shirt.
“mmm so hot,” she tells her, then quickly starts licking your clit with her tongue. pleasure overtakes you, your mind overtakes you, and you think back to ellie, and how good she made you feel under the table.
“yes, fuck el-“ you catch yourself before you can finish, but sit up in a panic.
“woah, um are you sure you’re okay? we can stop.” you startle abby for a second time tonight, but we’re thankful she didn’t catch your slip up.
“uh yeah sorry um i just got really thirsty all of the sudden,” you rush out, standing up off the bed and going downstairs to get water. you don’t even give her a chance to respond, and you’re already downstairs at the sink. you chug your glass of water and give yourself a couple of little slaps on your face to snap out of it.
“nice outfit” you hear behind you, you quickly spin around standing face to face with ellie, the girl who’s name you almost just moaned upstairs. “or should i say..” she trails off and looks you up and down, “no outfit?” she questions, eyebrows furrowed as she bites her lip. it takes you a couple seconds to register that, while you were in your hurry, you completely forgot to put your pants back on, and now ellie had felt and seen your pussy.
“oh my god!” you silently panic and cover yourself.
“don’t be shy now,” ellie now stalks toward you. “nothing i haven’t seen before.” her infamous smirk once again resting on her stupid beautiful face. you felt so weak, you couldn’t do this right now, in fear that you would cave and become the worlds worst best friend. again.
“uh, what are you doing up?” you try to start some sort of conversation, but her movements don’t stop and she’s still heading straight towards you.
“well, i was gonna fuck my girlfriend, but then she fell asleep, and i was gonna go to sleep, but..” she paused again. “i heard you come down here after your little slip up with abby and had to hear all about it.” your eyes widen and your heart drops.
she heard.
“ellie no,” your eyes start to fill up with tears. you feel pathetic, but to ellie, you look so fucking good. “i’m so sorry it was just because of tonight and at dinner-“
“ah, tonight was really fun” she cuts you off. you back up into the kitchen counter and you’re trapped.
“your pussy tasted so good,” ellie tells you, her voice drops and her eyes fill with lust. “are you gonna be a good girl and let me taste you again?”
you can’t move. all your guilt and morals are now completely out the window as you stare up at the breathtaking woman in front of you. without thinking, you nod your head slowly, a dazed look on your face causing ellie to let chuckle.
“words baby, open that pretty mouth and use your words.” she tells you. she brings her hand up to your face, sticking her thumb into your mouth. “wider.” she orders you. you obey and her thumb travels into your mouth and down your throat, causing you to gag. she moves her thumb around in your throat, then collects your spit up in her hand, smearing it around your mouth. “good girl,” she says, as she softly slaps your face.
out of no where, her hands go under your thighs as she lifts you up on the kitchen counter. once up, she grabs the back of your head, forcing your lips to meet hers.
sparks
that’s what you felt, as cheesy as it sounds, you felt sparks and pleasure shoot through your body. ellie was such a good kisser. she took the lead, making your lips match hers in a sinful rhythm. with her tongue still down your throat, she spreads your legs open, both hands squeezing your thighs causing you to let out a whimper. ellie stops and slaps your face harder this time.
“stay quiet or ill stop.” she sternly tells you, hand aggressively gripping your face. you shake your head fast and try to go in for another kiss, but she backs away. “no, no, what do you think you’re doing. just stay put and look pretty. let me take care of you.” her dominance made your pussy even wetter.
she slowly goes down on her knees, trailing kisses up your thighs and her gaze never leaves yours. “els, please, need you so bad,” you beg her, you don’t care how pathetic you look, and you certainly don’t care that this is your best friends girlfriend who’s going down on you right now.
“how bad do you want it baby hm? why don’t you show me.” she has an sinister look on her face, but with your mind foggy with pleasure, you quickly get comfortable and make sure that your pussy is right in front of her face. you slowly start teasing your own pussy, fingers sliding up and down your folds, biting your lip and staring right at ellie. she stares right at your pussy, watching how you play with it, and how you make yourself feel good. it drives her mad.
slowly, you put one finger in your pussy, letting out a quiet moan. “need you right here, els. so bad.” but before you can get any deeper, she yanks your hand away and scoots you up closer to her mouth.
“fucking slut,” she breathes out, before shoving her tongue into you. pleasure hits you quickly, and your eyes fill with tears.
“oh my god, ellie,” you squeal. she ate your pussy so good. she knew exactly what made you feel good, and you were coming close. “you’re gonna make me cum, fuck.” now you looked pathetic. you couldn’t stop moving under her, she kept having to hold you down with her hands, which would definitely result in bruising in the morning. you had to grab onto her toned arms, hair, shoulders, anything. it was becoming too much. but before you could come undone, she pulls away quickly, toying with you a bit, then giving a quick slap to your pussy. you jolt up, moaning loud, before she comes up and shoves her finger into your mouth again.
“told you to shut this pretty mouth up,” she scolds you, but then she gets an idea. “i know something that can keep it busy.” she then connects her lips to your neck, leaving light kisses while she grabs your hand and brings it to the bulnge in her boxers. you clench and let out a gasp, not expecting her to still be wearing a strap, but needing her to do something.
“ellie, please fuck my mouth. please please please,” you beg her more and she bites her lip at your whimpering.
“so fucking perfect,” she compliments, pulling down her shorts. the same fingers that were in your mouth now trail to your pussy, where she starts to pump two fingers into you. “and so fucking tight,” she moans. “so much tighter than dina,” she smirks at you, watching your eyes widen and your heart drop, but your eyes roll back once she starts pumping faster.
“you think your ready for it baby?” she asks you.
“yes please ellie,” you beg. she lifts you up off the counter and you fall to your knees right in front of the strap. you stare up at her, your eyes sparkling, and ellie bites her lip as she feels herself get wet. you pulls your chin down gently and puts its in your mouth. you moan as you feel it touch your tongue.
“yes, just like that baby, fuck so good at taking me in your pretty mouth,” she tells you, the sight of you with the friction of the strap was just enough to drive her crazy. she starts pumping herself into you faster and faster, making you moan and gag, which was such a beautiful sight for ellie.
“fuck, i need you so bad,” she tells you, “flip over baby.” she demands, and you do. it’s clear that you have no shame. face down ass up on your kitchen floor waiting to be fucked by someone who is so incredibly off limits. ellie’s voice brings you back to reality.
“prettiest pussy i’ve ever seen.” you clench at her words, causing her to bite her lip. “fuck. cant wait any longer. have to fuck you.” quickly, ellie’s on her knees and lining the strap up so it’s perfectly aligned with you.
you gasp as she slowly slides into you so effortlessly. the kitchen slowly fills with the sounds of you wet pussy, the slapping of ellie fucking you, and both of your dainty moans. it was so sinful, yet so beautiful at the same time. ellie quickly speeds up her motions, her right arm grabbing you under your tits and bring you up against her chest.
“you look so fucking pretty when i fuck you,” she tells you, her left hand coming around to rub your clit. you cover your mouth with both of your hands as she starts pounding into faster and faster. lips covering every part of your face, neck, and shoulders. you two had a perfect rhythm, causing both of you to feel yourselves growing close and fast.
“els, you’re gonna make me cum,” you struggle to get out.
“i’m close too baby, cum with me please,” she now begs you, desperate to finish.
her thrusts are now faster than ever, as the noise in the kitchen becomes louder and louder, not caring if anyone heard. the feeling in your stomach now starts to unravel and your vision goes black. you let out a loud and long moan, which is quickly cut off by your hands returning to your mouth. however this time, ellie yanks your hands away from your mouth.
“wanna hear you cum,” she demands. you don’t hold back as you feel your thighs start to drip and your legs start to shake. you lean your head back on ellie’s shoulder, hearing her own moans of pleasure fill your ears. she fucks you a little more as she finishes, and then slowly pulls out of you.
you have never been fucked like that before. it was absolutely heaven.
“someone made a mess,” ellie smirks as she gives you a peck on the cheek. you look down and you realize you did in fact make a mess, ellie made you squirt.
“holy shit, i’ve never done that before,” you let out a breathy laugh and look up at ellie, who’s just biting her lip.
“s’hot,” she lets out, still exhausted from the best sex of her life too. you awkwardly stand up, still naked, and try to clean the floor, but ellie stops you.
“hey hey no let me do that, you just go to bed,” she politely tells you, and your heart melts. you ask her if she’s sure and she promises that she’s fine. you thank her and she pulls you in for one last kiss. “again sometime?” she asks you, and without thinking, you say yes and head up the stairs, telling yourself that you’ll deal with the guilt of it tomorrow.
you enter your room with a smirk on your face, still out of it from how good ellie fucked you. before climbing in your bed, you yelp as you see abby fast asleep. you completely forgot about her, she probably fell asleep, too tired to even wait for you because of how long you were taking.
again, you should feel bad, but you don’t, because ellie williams just fucked you, so you get dressed go to sleep with a smile on your face, dreaming about the next time you fuck your best friends girlfriend.
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LMAOOOO SORRY THIS IS AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE BUT I WANTED TO MAKE IT PERFECT EVEN THOUGH I RUSHED AT THE END SORRRYYY
i hope you babies enjoy ❤️ i love you
CVNTTTLUVERRRRRR owt
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ltomlinsonsx · 1 year
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Louis Tomlinson posted
jetlagged as fuck, but at least the haircut looks good for once.
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lovelettersfromluna · 4 months
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Dream Girl
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Summary: Did you seriously think you’d be able to get over someone like Ellie Williams? Think again, dream girl.
an: I’m so obsessed with this series and the portrayal of Ellie, there’s just something about a small town romance that scratches the sweet spot in my brain. I hope you guys have enjoyed this one just as much as I have! Thank you so much for all of the support 🤍
Warnings: smut! MDNI!! 18+, tribbing (another tribbing fic by Luna?? Ofc do you not know me by now?), lots of kissing, sub!ellie if you squint, angst, mentions of another love interest, mentions of cheating, reader sucks Ellie’s fingers, pet names, unsure and closed off reader, pls lmk if I missed anything!
Read part 1 here!!
You watched from your bed as the gentle wind blew your lace curtains further into your bedroom, the birds chirping as the early morning sun slowly rose, cascading a warm glow into your room, making you squint your sore eyes with a soft groan.
With the slow rise of the sun came the constant reminder that you’d spent yet another night without catching a wink of sleep, lying there as you allowed your thoughts to carry you to places you wished didn’t exist.
Places of your ex wife, the bitter taste of your marriage still lingering on your tongue, reminding you of everything that could have been, everything that was lost due to lust.
Places of Ellie, the person who stole your heart first. You think of everything that could have changed had you not gone to the city, how your life's outcome would have had such a great shift due to one tiny change within the line of events that made up who you were, and what you did with your life.
It all leaves the whole in your heart feeling bigger, wider, swallowing up so much of the tiny organ that it almost felt there was nothing left of it.
It had been only a few days since the last time you saw Ellie, and the memories of that night still lingering in you brain, hanging heavily in your mind, stopping you from focusing on anything but that.
Because as much it felt good to kiss her, you haven't even been divorced for a year, and the conflicting feelings that you had for Ellie, paired with the newfound distrust and heartbreak that came from your recent marriage caused a storm in your head, heavy clouds swirling about in the confides of your mind and making it heard to think, hard to breath.
It was all just too fucking hard.
But you knew life was different now. You weren't a teenage girl that could run from confrontations for her own comfort. You were a grown up now, experiencing grown up situations that called for grown up reactions. So you knew that you needed to talk to Ellie, no matter how much it hurt to even think about facing her right now.
You weren’t even entirely sure where to start. Texting her was an absolute no, despite how much easier it would be to confront her that way, behind a screen would do a great job at cushioning the blow that came with confronting Ellie. Calling fell under the same category, she deserved much more than a measly phone call from your end with the intention of patching things up.
Which left only one option. You had to see her in person.
You sighed softly as you sat up in your bed, looking over at your phone resting face down on your bedside table. You hadn’t touched it since that night, avoiding the device all together in fear that you’d see any messages or calls from the worried girl.
So you aren’t surprised when you finally pick it up to see just that. Ellie didn’t pry, there were about three phone calls and four messages, all of which came across far too understanding and supportive for someone that had been kicked out mid make out session a few nights prior.
You inhale deeply before you open up your messages with her, and begin typing.
Hi
I’m sorry I haven’t responded.
Are you busy today? Can we meet up? I feel we need to talk
You practically hold your breath until she responds, which doesn’t take a very long time because the minute you send your first message, she’s read it and already typing out her message back.
Hey, don’t apologize. I was just worried about you
Ofc we can meet. Farmers market is opened today, you wanna check it out?
You don’t even realize it, but her messages are making you smile the second you read them out. Probably because of how easy Ellie makes things, how hard it is to make things awkward with someone as kind as she is.
That sounds great.
I’ll meet you there
Cool :)
Despite the small amount of anxiety that has alleviated when you’re finished texting her, you know this is only the beginning, the easy part of a conversation that will be much harder to have, much harder to explain when you aren’t even sure how to navigate your feelings as it is.
But there was no use in putting it off any further, so you’re quick to get out of bed, brush your teeth, haul on a pair of old blue jeans and an old band t-shirt and make your way out to your car to meet Ellie in town.
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It’s almost impossible to have a sour mood in a place as magical as your little town. The moment you got into your car, the warm sun soaking into your skin made you take a deep breath, allowing yourself to clear your head for a second before making your way out into town.
Your mom was right, the sun can cure more than you thought.
You hadn’t even realized it was Sunday, which meant it was your towns tradition to hold the farmers market in the town center. You used to look forward to it so much as a kid, knowing it would bring out the best of the people that lived here, showcasing the talent every person had.
Some people sold clothes that they made by hand, pieces that could only be made with love and care, something you often missed seeing in the city. Others sold jewelry, so delicately crafted it was almost unbelievable that someone was able to create something like it.
But your favorite? Was the food. Different pastries baked by the hands of men and women, recipes passed on from generation to generation to continue to breath life into the traditions that made up your town, tying one another together with a single cake or pie.
It was almost like magic.
You catch yourself smiling as you walk down the strip of stands already getting into their sales. Your heart warms at the sight of familiar faces, aged but still happy. You notice new ones as well, like when you approach a stand you remember being up when you were kid, one of which sold your favorite sweet rolls.
Your attention is far too occupied with chatting up the familiar curly haired girl at the stand, the same one that your visit when you were a teenager, eager to her mothers famous pastures. You’re surprised to see that there’s now a baby on her hip sporting the same head of spiral chocolate brown locks sprouting from her head, giggling and kicking excitedly as you introduce yourself, grabbing the babies hands as you catch your with her mom.
Ellie had arrived not long after you, standing nearby as she smiles fondly at the way the baby quickly becomes enamored with you. Watching you play with kids was something that always made her heart flutter with joy.
You giggle softly as she hands you both pastries, giving her a nod as she begs you to come visit her and the sweet baby more often. You hum softly as you struggle to push both your receipt and your phone back into your purse, groaning softly to yourself as you fail to notice the sudden looming presence that falls over the, gentle hands opening your bag wider as they aid you in putting everything away.
“Here, lemme help you” Ellie breaths out gently, her voice alone making you freeze as your eyes trail to her body to land on her face that was suddenly very close to yours.
She chuckles when she notices you staring up at her with wide eyes, nodding her head down to your bag.
“Come on now, would hate to make you drop those” she hums as she mentions the pastries in your other hand. You blink a few times before you clear your throat, giving a quick nod before you push your things into your bag with her help.
“Fuck…sorry…I…um…” you struggle to speak, adjusting your bag on your shoulders as you watch the girl step back with a soft smile.
“No worries, you alright?” She questions, neck craning down a bit to get a good look at you, her own big green eyes staring into yours, making it hard to breath.
God, this was going to be much harder than you thought.
You inhaled deeply, opening your mouth to speak before closing it, looking down at the sweet rolls in your hand before outstretching your arm to hand one to her.
“I bought this for you…I figured you hadn’t eaten yet so…” you mumble out softly, watching as she stared at you for a moment before looking down at the perfectly packaged baked good in your hand.
Her heart warming at the mere thought of you thinking of her in that way.
She smiles softly before she nods, placing her hand on the small of your back as she began guiding you out of the small strip of stands.
“So sweet of you…c’mon, there’s some places to sit right up this way” she suggests, giving you a small reassuring smile as she leads you there.
Somehow it seems perfect. The sun, the birds chirping, the little shady spot that Ellie leads you over to, covered by the biggest tree with the prettiest flowers slowly drifting down from above. It’s truly something out of a dream….
It made you wish this was all a dream.
You let out a soft sigh as you sit opposite of Ellie on the wooden bench, your fingers toying with the paper the pastry in front of you is wrapped in. Ellie frowns as she watches you closely, knowing the expression far too well. She could see just how much you were in your own head, how the events you two shared prior lingered in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything.
You couldn’t even look at her, and she hated that.
She inhaled deeply before she reached a hand out, gently placing it atop yours.
“I hope you didn’t bring me out here to apologize…because you don’t have to” her words are soft, and sweet, and it makes your throat get tight because she shouldn’t be so kind to you after what you did, after the way you treated her.
You don’t respond, so she takes the opportunity to keep talking.
“I get that things are probably hard…and I shouldn’t even have kissed you that night…so I’m sorry” she tries again, and you scoff softly before shaking your head.
“Don’t…don’t apologize” you mumble out before you inhale deeply, finally looking up, only not at her, at the scenery around you both.
“I caught her in our bed, with some girl she worked with” you mumble out softly, fingers mindlessly running along the rough surface of the wooden table.
“I probably should have seen it coming….but I think I wanted things to work out so badly that I just ignored it” you shrug slightly as you explain before you finally look over at Ellie, who’s already staring intently as she listens to you.
“Ellie I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or to think that I’m using my divorce as an excuse for what I did, for what happened between us….but I just need you to know that I’m hurting, and it’s just….hard for me to open myself up to something like that again after what happened” your voice breaks as your emotions threaten to give you away, chin wobbling as tears pool in your eyes.
But you don’t let them flow free. You don’t want to cry anymore, not over this.
“I…I just need time….” You silently beg, beg for her to understand what it is you’re going through, what it is you’re experiencing.
It scares you when she doesn’t answer right away, her green eyes scanning your face as she takes it all in. It’s a lot, and you know that, but there’s a tiny part of you that begs for Ellie to do what she does best, which is tell you exactly what you need to hear.
She blinks a few times before giving you a nod, paired with a soft smile. “You don’t even have to ask….you know I’d understand no matter what”
You inhale deeply as you watch her, her gentle eyes, her soft smile telling you that all would be fine. It make your stomach churn because you feel like you don’t deserve it, you feel like she deserves so much more than what you’re giving her.
You two haven’t even addressed what actually happened that night.
There’s nothing more to do than to simply smile back at her. It’s weak, and it isn’t much, but it’s all you can mange right now.
Ellie smiles softly at you before she looks down at the rolls in front of you both. “As good of a baker that Mary Beth is….i think we need some real food” Ellie hums out softly before she swings her leg over the bench to get up, nodding her head towards a small diner nearby.
“Come on. Let’s get something to eat” she suggests, holding her hand out for yours.
She notices the way your eyes linger on her calloused hand, unsure of whether or not you should take it, unsure of what signals it would send if you did.
You were unsure of everything. Unsure of Ellie, yourself, your own feelings. Nothing felt solid enough to trust, and you hated that someone like Ellie could make you feel that way, even though you knew that it wasn’t her that was making you feel that way, but rather what happened to you instead.
She can see it, she can see right through you and for a moment her frown mimics yours before she it turns into a soft smile.
“As friends” she affirms gently.
She sees a flash of something ripple through your eyes at this when you finally look up at her, something she doesn’t want to read too much into, something that she knows she can’t dive into for your own comfort, and perhaps even hers too.
A moment passes before you crack a weak smile, placing your hand into hers before you nod. “Yeah…as friends” you manage to make out weakly before grabbing the things off the table, shoving them into your bag and leaning into Ellie’s warmth as she guides you to the diner.
Ignoring the bitter taste left on your tongue at the way Ellie assured you that she was your friend, and nothing more.
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Your mind was in absolute shambles.
It had been a few weeks since the farmers market with Ellie, and truthfully all had been well between the two of you. You both ate together, talked, laughed, you were even able to talk about your divorce, explaining to Ellie how you felt, what it had done to you, and she listened to it all, nodding along to your words, giving you the advice you didn’t want to hear, but very much needed. For a moment it was easy to forget all about the tension that had settled between you both, the thoughts that plagued you were finally silenced as you allowed yourself to just simply be.
That was until you got home.
The second you were in your bedroom, lying there, staring up at the ceiling, memories of that night began to flood into your mind. You could feel it all so clearly, Ellie’s hands on your body, her lips pressed against your mouth, gasping for air, her tongue sliding against your own. Her words echoed throughout your mind, desperate pants and moans of how she needed you, of how you needed her.
You couldn’t sleep a wink.
It felt as though you hadn’t even talked to her, as if things hadn’t glossed over to where they were okay, a point where things were fine between you both. They were, but the feelings you had were still there. You thought that if you had at least talked to Ellie, explained to her what you were feeling, it would give you a head start on where to go with sorting out your own feelings.
None of that ever came.
Your body yearned for a moment of peace from the issues at hand, you wanted to feel the same way you felt when you were sat at the diner with Ellie, her laugh and her sparkling smile distracting you from the things you were feeling.
But you knew you couldn’t turn to her for a distraction, you couldn’t use her to occupy your mind from facing things that you’d much rather ignore. That wasn’t fair to her and it would only hurt you further in the long run, lengthen the grieving process of the death of your marriage.
You couldn’t do that to Ellie.
You could however, go somewhere that you knew would clear your mind the moment you were there.
The low hum of your car engine shuts off as you pull up to the familiar clearing, a gentle smile on your face as you can already hear the gentle stream of the water the moment you’re stepping out of the car.
The old creek was one everyone in your town treasured, a tiny glimpse of paradise in the confides of your backyard. It was where all the seniors would go for senior skip day, and where families would visit to spend the day with their children. If there was any place that the people of your town would be during the summertime, it would be the creek.
And rightfully so, the waters sparkled like nothing you’d ever seen before, the shady trees hiding the spot away like a secret that belonged to you and only you. You had many fond memories of the place, ones with your family, your siblings, your old friends from school.
Ellie.
You and her would visit the spot any chance you got, diving into the cold water the moment you were there. You could recall the moment you two first found out, thinking it was a secret only you two shared, just to find out your parents had been visiting when they were your age as well.
Regardless of the fact that it didn’t belong to you two, it felt like it. A small piece of the world that you and Ellie could call your own, sharing secrets there with one another, Ellie pushing you off the old swing tied up to one of the trees before she swung in soon after, diving in and holding you close to her chest as she promised you’d be together forever, for as long as you both lived.
The intensity that you both shared as teenagers often made you laugh. What a silly thing for two teenage girls to say who have barely experienced the world out there.
You let out a gentle sigh as you rugged off your denim shorts after setting your spot up. A small blanket settled down with your bag, your old camera and a few books, clearly having every intention of staying the entire day, swimming to your hearts content.
Once you’re stripped of your clothes, your body only clad in your old bathing suit, you waste no time in making your way down to the water, shivering slightly once your toes hit the cold water, wiggling them in the process.
You’re convinced swimming in the small body of water has to have some sort of mystical healing properties, because the moment you’re diving your head under, eyes examining the aquamarine world that is below the surface, your mind is clear. It makes you feel like you could live there, swimming amongst the different underwater caverns and the fish, creating a whole new world below as the little mermaid you always dreamed to be.
Your mother always told you she thought she’d given birth to a little fish when your father first took you swimming.
It’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re like this, floating around in the water, letting its coldness wrap you up and swallow you whole. It’s almost comforting how quiet it is, the only sounds being the gentle stream of the water, the wind rustling against the tree leaves and the frequent sound of the birds chirping to let you know that you weren’t alone, letting you know they were there with you.
You don’t even realize it but you’ve spent hours swimming about in the small pond, the grumbling in your stomach finally stops you for a moment to actually think about anything other than swimming, forcing you out to lay out onto your blanket and dry in the sun, occasionally popping the sweet berries into your mouth you’d brought from home.
The book you’ve brought with you also silences the outside world, allowing you to flip from page to page without thinking of anything but the regal characters that seemingly had much more to worry about than you. What a world it would be to wear uncomfortable dresses and attend balls in the hopes you’d find the perfect husband.
What would they think of your divorce?
It makes you snort to yourself, a gentle hum leaving your lips as you flip another page, unaware of the sudden sound of feet crunching against the grass slowly approaching you.
The high pitched sound of your name being called rips your attention away from your book, furrowing your eyebrows a bit as you cup your hand above your eyes to shield from the sun, trying to get a good look at who it was that was disturbing your peace.
“I didn’t think I’d be seein’ you here! What a surprise!” Lilac chirps out, her curly hair tied up into a perfectly styled bun, tight coils framing her face as she clutches her towel to her chest.
You hadn’t seen her since the night Ellie took you out to the Copper Cat a few weeks ago, the girl not lingering on your mind much as you had much bigger fish to fry. You were honestly a bit shocked that she’d even remembered your name.
You give her a gentle smile as you sit up, your legs folding to cross one another as you give her a small smile.
“Good to see you Lilac….going for a swim?” You ask her, watching as the girl takes the spot right next to yours, her blanket fitting perfectly up against your own as she gives you a confident nod.
“Mhm! It’s too hot…bless Ellie’s heart for sharin’ this place with me. Don’t know what I’d do without it” she chirps out as she tugs her own denim shorts off, leaning her in the cutest little bikini.
You know she doesn’t mean it in the way that it sounds, bragging about being introduced to the small clearing by your ex girlfriend, and you knew that it was only in due time that this place was mentioned to her by someone in your town, making sense that Ellie would do it first since that’s just the kind of girl Ellie was.
But there’s just something that tugs at your heart at the thought of it all. Ellie mentioning this place to her, the two of them coming down together, alone, Lilac adorned in another one of those adorable bikinis she had to show off to Ellie her gorgeous body as they play in the water together.
Something about Ellie sharing the spot you two shared with someone else that just rubbed you the wrong way.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm your nerves as you remember that this girl owes you nothing, Ellie owes you nothing and Lilac has been nothing but kind to you from the moment she met you.
Giving her a gentle smile as she settles down next to you, you nod. “It’s pretty great out here…I’m surprised it isn’t so packed. Seems we got lucky” you give her a nod before you sigh, turning your attention back to your book.
She smiles fondly as she watches you turn your attention back to your book, her neck craning down a bit to get a good look at the cover, gasping softly once she realized what it was you were reading.
“You read those too? I love them! I just finished the first two” she beams, a soft hum leaving your lips as you look up at the girl, raising your eyebrows at her comment.
“Really? Most people think they’re super corny” you pout softly as you turn the book over to look at the cliche cover, which only earns a firm head shake from Lilac.
“Honey I’m a hopeless romantic, I daydream more than I actually try talking to people” she giggles out softly, giving you a gentle shrug.
Her words make you chuckle softly, gently closing your book as you toss it to the side before sitting up to mirror her posture, crossing your legs as you suddenly give her your full attention.
“You’re a hopeless romantic? But…Lilac you’re gorgeous. I wouldn’t be shocked if you have every single guy here desperate to get a chance with you” you confess, which only makes her shake her head as she gives you a shy smile, gently shoving your knee.
“Don’t you dare! I’m awful at talking to people” she pouts out, her eyes dropping from her own as she stares down at the flowers on her blanket, delicate fingers tracing the patterns gently as she lets out a gentle sigh.
“If I’m being honest…it’s not the guys here that I want…” her words trail off softly, and it makes you pout softly as you eye the girl, seeing how whatever is on her mind is clearly bothering her, plaguing the girl just as much as what was on your mind.
You open your mouth to ask her about it, feeling bad about whatever she was going through, but she’s quick to shake her head and put on a bright smile once she looks back into your eyes. “But let’s not get into that! M’glad you’re here to join me today” she breaths out, her voice sweet and genuine as her eyes soften.
And it makes your heart rate finally slow down, seeing just how genuine the girl seemed, how happy she was to be there with you regardless of the fact that you were as good as a stranger to her than anything more.
You smile softly as you nod, leaning forward and placing your hand on hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Don’t mention it, Lilac” you hum out softly.
If there was anything you didn’t expect to do today, it was to have made a new friend, especially one in Lilac. The two of you spent the entire day down at the creek, laughing together, swimming together. The more time you spent with her, the more you realized just how much in common the both of you had.
Being completely honest with yourself, she had more kindness in her pinky than anyone in the city ever did.
The sun has set, and the breeze blew against your warm skin as you leaned against your car, Lilac in front of you as she made yet another joke that had you throwing your head back as you let out a loud laugh.
“Stop I feel the same way! I always wondered what happened to him” you gasp out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you lean back to shove your back into the passenger seat of your car. Lilac giggles softly as she nods, her arms crossed over her chest as she swatted away the mosquitos slowly began to swarm around you both.
“He’s still an idiot, some people never change I fear” she groaned out, a prominent pout on her perfect lips before she cocked her head to the side, smiling fondly at you.
“Ellie was right about you, you know? You really are somethin’ special” she breaths out, and it has your eyes going wide at the mention of the girl. It makes you realize that you hadn’t thought about her all day, not since Lilac had joined you.
It makes you wonder what other things Ellie had said about you.
You whine softly as you bring your hand forward to nudge her playfully. “Shut up….you’ll blow my head up” you warn the girl playfully before you sigh softly, looking over at the sun that was slowly bur surly setting, the once warm glow that casted onto you both disappearing.
“Ahh I should get going…we shouldn’t be on the roads too late” you breath out softly, turning towards the girl and giving her a small smile, only to see a sad one on her face.
You frown softly as you watch her, leaning forward and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Hey? You okay?” You ask gently, suddenly worried about the girls shift in her mood.
She lets out a gentle sigh before she looks down at her feet, kicking around the gravel below before she lets out a soft hum. “I know we don’t know each other well…but…I feel like you’ll be my only help with this” she admits to you, her eyes still casted downwards before you assure her with a soft voice. “Of course you can..” you mumble out softly.
She finally looks up at you, taking a deep inhale before she gives you a half smile. “I…think I like Ellie” she breaths out, as if she’d been keeping it held in for so long, as if finally telling you was letting a weight off of her shoulders.
Letting it off of hers and slamming it down onto yours.
You find it hard to breathe, because suddenly you’re shot back to the first night you met Lilac at the Copper Cat. Ellie’s hand on her waist, hers on Ellie’s arm as she whispers in her ear, the two of them matching one another far more than you felt you could’ve ever matched Ellie. You feel threatened, and it sets a fire off in your chest, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you as this beautiful girl admits her innocent feelings for your ex girlfriend.
When you don’t speak, she continues.
“And I just…you and her are so close, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice? Should I go for it? Do you…think she’d like me back?” She asks hopefully, twiddling with her fingers nervously as she watches you closely, awaiting your response.
You stare are her blankly, your body working on autopilot as you try to work your way through this. Seeing her that night felt like it might’ve all been in your head, especially when Ellie ran out after you and left the moment you were ready, but now this is all real. This is Lilac confirming that what you felt was real, and this was the reality of coming back to your hometown, more specifically your ex girlfriend.
And as you stand there, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this girl, you can only see someone doing the same thing that you’re doing. She’s a young girl, looking for love in this crazy fucked up world, and she’s unsure of herself. Someone as beautiful as her is unsure of herself and you could only wish that someone would have guided you when you were pursuing your ex wife, a third party bystander giving their advice and helping you through it all.
Because as much as it kills you? Ellie deserves love, and so does Lilac, and if they find it in one another, who the hell are you to take that away from them.
The both of them owe you nothing.
You inhale deeply before giving her a soft smile, nodding as you reach out to give her arm a gentle, assuring squeeze. “I think Ellie would be thrilled to be with someone like you, Lilac….you should go for it” you breath out genuinely, watching as the girls face lights up with joy with your confirmation, an excited squeal leaving her lips.
“I was hoping you’d say that! You’re an angel” she squeals, reaching forward and grabbing you up into her arms as she gives you a tight hug, swaying back and forth as she tucks her chin into your shoulder.
You can practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.
You smile softly as you nod, wrapping your hands around her as you hug her back before you hum. “You didn’t need me…you’ll be great on your own” you assure her before you pull away, giving her a reassuring nod.
She smiles brightly as she nods before she lets out a loud sigh. “Right…get home safe, alright? And text me! We can hang out sometime this week” she sings out as she gets into her car, giving you a wave as she begins pulling off.
And suddenly you’re left there all alone, with the newfound thoughts that are swirling about in your head. You know already that you won’t be able to sleep, not with the mental image of the two of them dancing around in your mind, forcing you to face reality, face the facts that time moves on with or without you.
But you were tired of being left behind, you were tired of being the last one to know things, the one broken heart in a sea of mended ones.
Driving off in your car from the creek gives you time to think, the cool breeze kissing your skin, pushing your hair back as the radio plays your favorite songs, creating somewhat of a perfect scenario to think things over rather than running from them.
While it all hurts, you know that there’s no use in standing in the way of Lilac or Ellie or whoever for that matter. Life would continue moving, and in that meant new love would be found, for both you and Ellie, it just felt like that wouldn’t happen for you in the moment, even if you knew it would.
But you were going to move on from this. And you were going to be fine, no matter how long it took for you to catch up with the tracks of life that seemingly always got the best of you.
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There’s something therapeutic about hanging up the laundry on the old clothes line in your backyard.
You used to make fun of your mom all the time when she did it, telling her that there was a perfectly good dryer inside that would take less than half the time to dry the clothes than they did outside, not to mention less work when it came to picking them in.
However as you’ve grown older, there’s something so simple about walking outside with your basket on your hip, the gentle smell of detergent blowing into your direction as you pin up several articles of clothing, your white sheets, anything that you’ve washed, that tickles your brain in the best ways.
That, and the fact that these days you’ll take any task to fill your brain with thoughts other than Ellie or your ex wife.
Things had been fine. You spoke to Ellie here and there, dropped dinner off at Joel’s house that you knew he made sure she got some of whenever you made extra, you even made time for Lilac within the week as well. You’d picked up a small job in town as well, working at the cashier of a small floral shop that had been in town from you could remember.
So although your mind drifted to places you didn’t often like, life was fine. Life was slow, and life was good.
Lilac constantly gushed to you about Ellie, talking about all the progress they’d been making, asking your opinion on the girls behavior, which you always tried your best to help with. Although the strange thing about it all, was you heard nothing from Ellie about the situation. She didn’t mention anything about Lilac, not even when you brought it up.
It wasn’t long until you began distancing yourself from the both of them, knowing how hard it would be once they became official and you had to live life in a world where they were together.
Because although you were doing okay, the wound was still fresh, and you had to keep your peace.
You hummed a gentle tune softly as you continued hanging up your linen on the line, enjoying the feeling of the cool summer breeze against your skin, the dandelions dancing along through the air as they became loose from their stems.
The sound of your fence creaking open cuts right into your thoughts of housework, forcing you to turn around as you hang up another one of your sleep shirts, a soft smile on your lips when you catch sight of the familiar tall brunette walking into your backyard, both her hands shoved into the pockets of her denim jeans.
“Ellie…didn’t think you were coming over” you sigh out softly as you clip the end of your shirt up, continuing to hang up your clothes regardless of her being there.
“Was in the neighborhood….I thought I’d stop by” she breaths out, eyes taking in your form as you continue with your chore.
Her voice seems like something is bothering her, and you catch onto it the second she utters her first syllable. You know already why she’s here, to question you about your sudden absence, wondering if things were okay with you or not, worry clear in her tone.
“You…haven’t been around lately” she mumbles out, that same worried tone laced throughout her words.
It was just as you suspected.
You frown, thanking the task of laundry that hides your expression from her. It’s so much easier to lie to Ellie whenever you’re not looking into her eyes.
“Oh…I’ve just been uh…dealing with some stuff” you’re quick with the excuse, clearing your throat before you turn around to give her a soft smile. “I’m fine…honest” you give her your best attempt at a reassuring nod before you turn back to your laundry.
You have to turn away from her quickly, because you can see from the small glimpses you get of her that she’s frowning, and her brows are furrowed together with something that’s bothering her.
You hope she’ll leave after you tell her you’re fine.
But she doesn’t. You don’t hear her respond to your words, or even turn around silently to go about her day. You hear nothing behind you, only the sound of your white sheets wafting through the wind, drying on the line before you.
You frown when you look down to see your basket is empty, and the task of pinning up your clothes is no longer present to hide you away from Ellie.
So you need to get rid of her.
You inhale deeply, picking up the old basket and placing it on your hip, putting your most believable smile on your face before turning around, finally locking eyes onto the girl to see something that makes your heart sink.
It looks like she hasn’t slept, prominent bags under her pretty eyes, pouty pink lips chapped, most likely picked and bit at out of anxiety, a bad habit you knew she had whenever something was bothering her. Your heart tugs at the image, wanting nothing more than to pull the girl down into a hug, consoling her and telling her that whatever was bothering her, would be fine.
But you can’t. Because things aren’t the same anymore.
You inhale deeply before you nod your head towards your back door. “Well…I have lots to do inside…more house work…dinner” you explain, trying your best to hint at Ellie leaving without having to say so.
“Did I do something wrong?” She finally makes out, her words a clear plea to understand the situation rather than a half mumble that she’d rather not say.
It makes you furrow your eyebrows, watching the girl with a confused look as you try to understand her.
“Wrong? Ellie…I’ve barely seen you. What could you have possibly done wrong?” You try, confused of the sudden outburst from the girl.
Her eyes are stormy, hazy and hard to read. Her brows are knit as she looks down at the floor before looking back into your eyes, a prominent frown on her face.
“Why would you tell Lilac that there’s something worth looking for between her and I…why would you…” her words trail off, as if she wants to say more, as if she wants to persist with knowing why you would have done such a thing.
And soon it all starts making sense.
You wish Lilac wouldn’t have said anything. You wish she wouldn’t have told Ellie that you were the one that told her to go for it, even if she was the one that asked in the first place. You wish she would have just pursued Ellie without any mention of you, because was that even necessary? You know she must have done it to gush about you even further, the girl becoming enamored with you from the moment she saw you, and even more so once you two became closer.
But for the love of god…did she really have to tell Ellie that you were the one to tell her to go for it?
You open your mouth to speak before you sigh softly, your hands squeezing the handles of your clothes basket before you speak. “I….she spent the day down at the creek with me and when we were about to leave she told me she liked you…and she asked me if I thought she should pursue you” you explain with a shrug of your shoulders, which only makes Ellie scoff in disbelief.
“And you told her that was a good idea?” She argues back, as if it were the dumbest thing you could have ever done. She says it as if it were common knowledge to tell the girl other wise, you raise your eyebrows when she says this.
“Yeah? Why not? Lilac is…she’s fucking gorgeous Ellie. Anyone would be lucky to have her, and you should be happy I put you on with someone as great as her” you mumble out as you slip past the girl, clearly done with Ellie and this conversation as you walked up the wooden steps leading to your back door.
But Ellie isn’t finished with you, because she’s quick to follow behind, closing the door behind you as you make your way into your laundry room to set your basket down, your hands going to your hips once you turn around to see the girls built figure standing in your doorway.
“Ellie come on…I have things to do…you need to go” you huff out as you slip past her once again, going off into your living room to start on the dried laundry that needed to be folded, hoping that the girl would simply drop it and leave.
“You know I understood you the night after the show, and I was more than willing to give you all of the space you need, but this feels like you’re playing some sick joke on me” she’s standing over you now, watching as you try to ignore her in favor of some pillow cases that needed folding.
“Is pushing me into the arms of someone else your solution? And ignoring me until I’ve forgotten all about it? Is that the plan? Is that seriously what you think it’ll take to get rid of me?” She tries again, her voice pleading with you at this point as she watches you ignore her.
But this time you done, your hands drop to your lap as you stare up at her in disbelief before you toss the pillow case to the side, standing up opposite of her.
“I never had a plan! Lilac asked me a question and I was honest with her. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be happy with someone else” you explain to her before you finally feel as though you’ve had enough, a huff of annoyance filling the silent air as you round the couch to slip away into the kitchen.
Before you’re fully there, Ellie’s voice is echoing off the walls.
“But I can’t be happy with someone else!” She shouts out, her arms flailing up inti the air before dropping down to her side, the sound of her palms slapping against her jeans before she sighs.
You stop dead in your tracks when you hear that one, your back still turned to her.
“How could I possibly be happy with anyone else when you’re all I fucking think about….” Her voice is tired, and it’s almost as if she’s begging you for something, something you are not capable of, something you cannot give.
Begging for you.
“From moment we had our first kiss….to the moment I said goodbye to you before you left for the city…I’ve only ever wanted you” you can hear her getting closer, slowly making her way towards you as you stand there at the edge of your kitchen, frozen, silent, unable to say anything to her as she confesses these things to you.
“It’s pathetic, and I’ve tried to suck it up for your sake because I know….you’re going through a tough time after that moron did what she did….but I can’t fucking hide anymore” she breaths out, and it sounds the same exact way that Lilac sounded when she admitted to you that she had feelings for Ellie those nights ago.
Your back is still turned to her, and you know she’s right behind you because her smell fills up your lungs and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to fight all of it back, everything that you’ve done, all that you’ve worked through from the moment you got home to get to the point that you were at currently.
But you feel all of it break the moment Ellie’s strong hand grips your shoulder gently, sighing softly as she speaks.
“Look at me….please angel…” she begs, her skin wafting onto your neck as she tries her best to fight the urge to grab you right then and there and kiss you.
When you finally turn around, her heart breaks, because the whites of your eyes are red, and there are heavy tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, making them sparkle in the warm light of your kitchen, looking so beautiful yet so tragic all in the same time.
Her chest tightens as she leans in to cup your cheek, fighting back the urge to groan as she inhales deeply. “I can’t…I don’t wanna pretend like I’m not still in love-“ you’re quick to cut her off, your tears spilling out onto her cheeks the moment you hear the word.
“Don’t…don’t say it” you warn her with shaky words, struggling to even speak with the burning sensation in your throat.
You don’t think you could handle it, hearing those words fall from someone’s lips again, the fear rising the moment they hang from Ellie’s, flashbacks of you’re wife at the alter, promising you everything and more before she kissed you and whispered in your ear that she loved you.
It’s scary, and it makes you feel terrified of Ellie.
Before she can carry on even further, trying her best to convince you that her words are true, silently begging you to hear her out as her wide green eyes stare down into yours, you’re cutting her off.
“I told you already Ellie…I’m not….i can’t do this again. I can’t give myself to someone like I did with her” your voice trembles as you explain, her vision blurring with tears as you try your best to swallow them all back.
She licks her lips as she stares down at you before she shakes her head. “I get it….I get that you’re hurting from what happened, but I can’t keep going on without you knowing anymore….” She starts to explain, both of her hands coming up to cup either side of your face, forcing you to look up at her.
“I’ve….god I’ve longed for you from the moment you left after high school. There was not a day that went by where I did not think of you for even a few seconds. And I’m sorry for what happened, and I understand if I’m just a childhood fling for you, but I’d rather you tell me that then try to push someone else onto me to distract me from what I’ve felt all these years” she rambles on, nearly stumbling over her words as they all bubble up to the surface, overflowing and dragging you down with her.
You open your mouth for a moment before closing it, looking far too similar to a fish out of water as you try to find the words to say. What are you even supposed to say? Are you supposed to lie to her? Tell her that you haven’t felt the same way? But now it’s different and it hurts to even try to envision yourself in a relationship with someone let alone pursue them? Even when it’s Ellie?
Your Ellie?
She watches as you struggle to speak, her eyes searching yours for even a sliver of hope that this will work, that her confession will bring you to a point where you can both meet, where things can be okay again.
And if they can’t? She needs to hear you say it out loud.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same” she deadpans, hands dropping from your face as any hope she might have had slowly drains out, fizzling out of her system as she watches you simply stare up at her, a mere shell of the girl she once knew.
“Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll never bring this up again. We can move on from this and we can be friends. I promise” she breaths out, feeling the air slowly leaving her lungs, making it hard to breathe.
You feel the exact same way. You feel like the world has stopped around you both as images of your life swirls around your head.
There’s images of your ex wife, taking the privilege of love from you, ripping your heart out of your chest and walking away with it the moment she decided to cheat on you. It hurts, and it burns and it feels like something you’ll never recover from, something that leaves a wound so deep, that it will never grow the familiar leathery skin that it’s supposed to, creating a scar that acts as merely a memory for what happened, for what you endured.
And then there’s something sweeter in the corner, so small that if you pay enough attention to the hurt in your heart, you don’t even notice it.
It’s memories of Ellie. Sharing your first kiss with her, going to prom with her, spending late nights with her in your bedroom talking about the future, spending time with one another that will leave sweet memories in your mind till the day you die. It’s soft, and it’s easy and it makes your insides flutter with excitement at the mere thought of her by your side.
As you’re looking over all these parts of you, standing in your kitchen with Ellie and staring up into her eyes, you make a remarkable discovery.
You realize that if you try hard enough, the pain that comes from what your ex wife did doesn’t hurt as bad, long as you’re focusing on the feeling that Ellie gives you.
Because when you’re with Ellie, you feel nothing but love.
You lick your own lips as you stare up at her, inhaling deeply before you shake your head, feeling your throat burn with tears before you speak.
“I can’t do that….” Your words trail off for a moment before your eyes drift down to her strong hands, missing the feeling of her skin pressed against yours.
You slowly reach forward to take her tattooed hand into yours, your fingers dancing along the intricate details of the leaves on her wrist before you interlock your fingers, finally looking up at her as your eyes well up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
“Because I….feel the same way” you breath out, watching as her sage colored eyes glimmer with happiness, a gentle sigh of relief leaving her lips as she quickly moves her hand to cup your face, her other reaching down to hold onto your waist, pulling you close to her body.
“Jesus…c’mere” she practically moans out before she smashes her lips against yours in a passionate, love filled kiss.
You giggle softly, your hands wrapping around her wrist as you waste no time in kissing her back, arms coming up to loosely wrap around her neck as you press your chest against hers, reveling in the feeling of her lips pressed against your own.
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You hummed a gentle tune to yourself as you mixed up the pitcher of lemonade, far too deep in thought to pay the bustling party behind you any mind.
One of your favorite parts about the summer time was the cookouts. There was something about nearly the entire town coming together at someone’s house, enjoying the warm weather, the bright sun and good food, that made your heart burst with excitement.
You were just about ready to make your way to your backyard with the others, when you felt a firm hand sliding against your waist, smoothing down over the fabric of your flower sun dress and pulling you into their chest.
“Don’t you think we have enough drinks baby?” Ellie hums out softly, pressing her lips against the base of your neck, making you giggle softly as you lean into her.
“It’s almost 100 degrees outside, Ellie…I don’t think too many things to drink is even a possibility” you explain before you turn around in her arms, smiling softly at the firm as you wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on the grill? You better not burn all that food I bought” you playfully pinch her shoulder, which only makes her groan softly.
“It’s too hotttt….wanna be inside with you” she whines out, resting her head against your shoulder as she gently sways with you in the kitchen.
You hum as you nod, your fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck. “I know baby….but your father will be very upset if he doesn’t have at least one beer with you…come on pretty girl” you hum out to her softly, your hands sliding down to hold her around her middle before giving her a gentle pinch near her ribs, which makes her yelp out as she pulls away, a prominent pout on her sun burnt, freckled face.
“Fine…but come out with me” she huffs out, leaning in to give your forehead a kiss before she makes her way outside, making you giggle softly.
You sigh softly to yourself, placing the lemonade on a small tray paired with some already filled red solo cups, and a few empty ones on the side that you knew would be getting filled up shortly after you brought them out. You had to move slowly with how full they were, groaning softly to yourself as you tried your best to not let them fall as you tried making your way through the crowd of people in your home.
“Oh honey let me help you with that!” You hear Lilac chirp out as she quickly comes behind you, pressing her hands against your waist before taking the heavy pitcher off of the tray, making you sigh in relief once you saw the girl.
“There you are! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show…” you pout out, smiling softly as the girl leaned in to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, which you were quick to lean into as well.
She giggled softly as she groaned. “Did you know that this party of yours is causin’ traffic out there?? Everyone’s dying to come, I almost ran out with the rollers still in my hair” she explains, making you giggle softly as she opened up your back door for you.
After everything happened with you and Ellie, you were terrified of what would happen with Lilac. You felt like you’d robbed the girl of something she wanted without even trying, even after being the one to tell her to go for it! Even after Ellie assured you time and time again that Lilac was always one to get innocent crushes on everyone, and that she’d get over it in no time, you were still scared that you’d lose the girl as a friend after just making her one.
You were quickly proven wrong when you met her in town a few days after, texting her and letting her know you had something to tell her. Instead of her being upset about you and Ellie, Lilac was thrilled. She grabbed you and hugged you, and told you that she even wanted to celebrate with you and Ellie, explaining that her crush was as innocent as could be.
And before you could even realize, Lilac had become your best friend.
You giggle softly as the children practically jumped you once they saw the tall pitcher of ice cold lemonade, frantically grabbing the cups and chugging them down before running off to play in the sun.
Catching sight of Ellie with her father and a few of her coworkers makes your heart flutter, and you decide to fill up a few more cups of the cold drink as you make your way over to them, a soft smile on your face.
“Lemonade anyone?” You chirp out softly, all of them taking them gladly before Ellie slung her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side as she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, carrying on with her conversation.
You don’t miss the way Joel smiles fondly at the two of you over the edge of his cup.
And later that night, when everyone’s left and the house is cleaned up, you lay with Ellie in your bed, the cool breeze blowing in through your windows, your bedroom illuminated by the white light of the moon.
You’re tucked away into Ellie’s side, your thigh hooked over her body, one of her hands rubbing along your skin and massaging your leg, the other looped around your shoulder as you stare up at her lovingly, your hand dancing along her t shirt clad chest.
“Did you have fun today?” You question softly, which earns a gentle smile from the girl before she looks down at you, giving you a slight nod.
“The best time baby….haven’t seen so many people gathered around for a party in a long time…you did good angel” she breaths out before she leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile warmly.
But the warmth doesn’t just settle in your cheeks.
A simple kiss from your girlfriend makes it travel down your body. It warms your throat, your chest, your stomach, traveling all the way down until it settles right in between your legs, making you clear your throat to bite back a whimper.
Ellie frowns softly when she notices this, pulling away to look down at you as she continues massaging your thigh. “Something wrong princess?” She questions, slight concern lacing her tone as she watches you with furrowed brows, her expression clear in the light of the moon.
When you and Ellie first started being romantic again, she promised you she’d take things slow. Your relationship only went far as kissing, a few gropes here and there, but nothing further than a steamy make out session that ended once Ellie tapped your thighs and forced you off of her lap, fearing that she was pushing you too far.
At first it was extremely considerate of her. It was true, intimacy was a bit hard for you at first, somehow thinking of your failed relationship every time you tried, blaming your self for not pleasing your wife enough.
But as time went on, those thoughts were virtually silenced. You didn’t even have the capacity to think of anything but Ellie when her tongue was down your throat, the feeling of her big hands on your body, and her toned thighs pressed between your legs.
So now…God…you needed her more than anything.
You were almost embarrassed to even say it, but it was getting to a point that anything Ellie did was setting you into a frenzy. Just today, her toned arms in here wife pleaser and her denim jeans made your head spin, and your panties cling to your needy core.
Her frown deepened when you didn’t answer, the girl turning over a bit to better face you before her hand came up to cup your cheek. “Baby? What’s the matter?” She questions once again.
You finally let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you reach up to grab her wrist gently, keeping her close as you avoid looking into her eyes.
“I….need you Ellie…need you so bad” you sigh out softly, voice barely above a whisper.
Her frown only deepens further as she stares at you down in confusion. “Need me? But angel I’m right-“ her words are cut off when she feels your grip on her wrist tighten, and your thigh hikes up her body further, pressing your core against her side.
Her eyes widen in realization.
“Fuck…” she breaths out, watches as your eyes flutter open to stare into her own, yours filled with want and need as your other hand moves down to hold onto her exposed hip gently.
“Are you sure baby? We can…fuck…we don’t have to…” she struggles to get out, eyes glued to yours as she watches you.
You shake your head before you gently pry her hand from your face, bringing her fingers down to press against your lips before you sigh. “I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve left Ellie…of course I’m sure…” you sigh out softly before you open your mouth, taking her pointer and middle finger into your mouth as you slowly suck them in, moaning around them.
Ellie lets out a soft moan as she watches you, feeling her own clit pulse against her underwear as she quickly grows warm with a need similar to yours.
“That’s my girl…fuck….been needy huh?” She moans out, making you nod before you roll over to straddle her, her other hand coming down to grip your hip softly, massaging your skin through the fabric of her own t shirt draped over your body.
You let go of her fingers with a pop before you stare down at her, a soft smile on your face as you move down to press your lips against hers, wasting no time in pushing your tongue into her mouth.
The kiss is slow, and sensual and dirty and it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed since your divorce. It’s nothing like kissing your ex wife, but it’s everything like kissing Ellie. The noises she makes has your head spinning, and it forces you to roll your hips down onto her, which makes her moan even louder into your mouth.
“Fuck…want you to…wanna feel your pussy on mine baby…can you do that for me?” She questions out desperately, her hands roaming your body, pushing her t shirt up on your to reveal your tits.
Ellie had it all planned out. She wanted it to be romantic, she wanted to take things slow and show you just how much she loved you, just how serious she was about you. She wanted you to feel loved.
Oh did her plans not go as planned, but oh how you felt so fucking loved.
You nod eagerly, sitting up and tugging the t shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your room. Ellie moans loudly at the sight of you above her, hands reaching up and cupping either one of your boobs, pinching and rolling your nipples between her fingers.
Once she’s had her fun, you climb off of her for a moment, tugging off her panties, giving her time to tug her sleep shorts off as well, leaving you naked and her bottom half bare. She’s feverishly tugging you back onto her lap, allowing you to tug her t shirt off.
And the feeling of your bare chest pressed against hers makes you moan loudly, your lips coming down again to press a needy kiss to hers, filled with tongue and teeth as you both situate yourselves.
The moment comes quickly, your legs slotted between hers perfectly, pussy right on top of hers as she stares up at you with low, hazy eyes, strong hands gripping your thighs and your ass as you slowly began rolling your hips so that your throbbing clit bumps against hers, making the girl beneath you moan loudly as her back arches and her eyes flutter shut.
“F-fuck! Oh my….fuuuuckkkk…that’s it baby…fuck yourself down onto my pussy…oh my….ha-fuck” she moans out, voice going hoarse as her strong fingers press firmly into your skin, sure to leave marks in the morning.
Your moans mix with hers, paired with the sound of your sopping wet pussies sliding against one another, a symphony of erotic love making that has been a long time coming. It’s like the two of you let out every raw emotion that had been bottled up for all those years you spent apart, her longing, your hurt, it all mixes together to create something of a beautiful love song that belongs to the two of you, and no one else.
“Ellieee…fuck! Feels…feels so good..” you moan out, picking up the pace as you feel your orgasm growing closer and closer by the second, your bed creaking with every thrust of your hips.
Ellie can’t take it anymore, moving to sit up as she grips both of your hips, aiding you in riding her pussy faster before she gives you an encouraging nod. “Come on baby…cum with me, yeah?” She sighs out breathlessly, staring up into your eyes passionately as she feels her own orgasm growing closer.
You wrap your arms around her shoulders, keeping her closer as you moan and whine, eyebrows furrowing with pleasure as you struggle to make it there, struggle to not let the pleasure get the best of you.
Your heart feels like it’ll just burst.
“I…mmm…fuck….Ellie I love you…I love you so much…” you moan out, eyes fluttering shut as you feel right on the brink of your orgasm.
“That’s my fucking girl…I love you so much baby…more than you’ll ever know…” she moans out to you.
And suddenly, you see colors.
Your chest feels like you’ve been struck by lightening, struggling to even stay upright as your orgasm ripples through your body violently, your forehead resting against Ellie’s as your arousal mixes with hers, both of your orgasms so intense, so powerful, it feels like it’ll kill you both right then and there.
The come down is hard, because it’s almost sorrowful to no longer feel the amazing feeling that comes with making love to Ellie, but the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your middle and keeping you close is almost better, her lips pressing against your collar bones and chest as you both breath hard, the room silent compared to the noise that once filled it.
She holds you there the entire time, whispering how much she loves you, promising you that she’ll give you everything you could ever want and need.
And while you’ve heard all of that before, just for it to end in shit….
You believe her, because this time? It’ll be different.
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rafecameronssl4t · 23 days
Note
Please and au where forced marriage rafe gets jealous over the reader when a guy his age flirts with her at a ball or an event 🙏🙏
Little miss perfect || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
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A/n: Got a bit carried away with this one but it was funnn thank you for the request :)
Warnings: angst galore is all i gotta say
Word count: 2,470
MASTERLIST (forced marriage au masterlist)
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Divider by @h-aewo
Your hand reached out instinctively, resting gently on his bouncing knee, hoping to calm the restless energy radiating off him. Rafe’s eyes flicked over to you briefly before he turned his gaze back out the car window, the tension in the air palpable. “I really wish you’d have told me about this party sooner,” he muttered, the frustration clear in his voice.
His words came out sharper than you expected, cutting through the silence that had settled between you. “Instead of springing it on me an hour before it starts.” A scoff escaped your lips as you began to defend yourself. “It slipped my mind—” “Oh, really? It slipped your mind?” Rafe’s voice dripped with sarcasm, his eyes narrowing as he shot you a condescending look. You felt a wave of irritation rise, matching his intensity.
Your gaze shifted to the driver, catching his eyes in the rearview mirror, and with a sigh, you reached for the button to raise the privacy barrier. “I don’t know why you’re freaking out,” you said, your voice tinged with frustration as the barrier slid into place, separating you from the driver. “It’s just a party.”
His head snaps back towards you, a bitter smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It’s never just a party with you,” he mutters, his words dripping with resentment. You furrow your brows, confusion and anger flaring as you stare at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you snap, your voice sharpening with the tension between you.
Rafe purses his lips, eyes narrowing as if debating how far he wants to push this. The silence that follows is suffocating, broken only by the soft hum of the engine and the steady rhythm of your own heartbeat thudding in your ears. “It means,” he finally says, his voice low and edged with frustration, “that nothing is ever simple when it comes to you and your family. Every event, every party, 'it’s always a show—a performance to keep up appearances, to impress everyone with how perfect everything is.”
You stiffen at his words, your grip tightening on your lap as the sting of his accusations digs deep. “That’s not fair, Rafe,” you say, your voice trembling slightly despite your best efforts to keep it steady. “You know how my family is. This is what they expect.” He leans closer, his gaze locking onto yours with a piercing intensity.
“And you just go along with it, dragging me into their mess. I’m always the one left dealing with the fallout when things don’t go according to plan—when your mother’s not satisfied or when your father makes some backhanded comment about how I should be more like William or Edward.”
“That’s not true,” you insist, your voice firmer now. “I don’t ask for these things. I don’t want to be put on display any more than you do.” “Then why the fuck does it keep happening?” he shoots back, raising an eyebrow as if daring you to argue.
“You think I don’t notice how you still try to please them? How you let them pull the strings, even when it makes us both miserable?” A flicker of doubt crosses your mind, but you push it aside, shaking your head. “They’re my family, Rafe. It’s not that simple. You know that.”
“Maybe,” he concedes, leaning back in his seat, crossing his arms as that bitter smile fades into something colder. “But I’m tired of playing this game. Tired of being a pawn in their world, in your world.” His words hang in the air, heavy and final, leaving you to grapple with the uncomfortable truth between you.
~
The car pulls up to the grand estate where the party is being held. The opulence of the surroundings doesn’t faze you—after all, you grew up in places just like this—but tonight, it feels more like a prison than ever before. The driver steps out, opening the door for you.
You glance at Rafe, his expression now guarded, the bitterness from your argument still simmering beneath the surface. Without a word, you both step out of the car, the cool evening air brushing against your skin as you take in the sight before you. The estate is alive with activity, guests arriving in elegant attire, laughter and conversation already filling the night.
It’s all so familiar, so routine, yet tonight it feels like a burden you’re forced to carry. Rafe adjusts his tie, his movements stiff, before offering you his arm. It’s a formality—something expected of the perfect couple you’re supposed to be. You hesitate for a fraction of a second before slipping your arm through his, the fabric of his suit jacket smooth under your fingertips.
Inside, the grand foyer opens up to reveal a sea of faces, all turned towards you with polite smiles and approving nods. You recognize many of them—family friends, business associates, people who have known you since you were a child. You’ve mastered the art of small talk, of charming smiles and witty remarks, but tonight it all feels hollow.
~
As the evening wore on, you and Rafe went your separate ways. It was as if an unspoken truce had been called; a mutual understanding that distance was preferable, at least for now. Rafe, much to his dismay, was intercepted by your two older brothers, William and Edward.
They were the picture of effortless charm, their laughter and easy smiles masking the razor-sharp edges of their true selves. They clapped Rafe on the back, offering him a drink, and he had little choice but to oblige, though he felt the weight of their scrutiny with every sip of whisky he took.
The conversation flowed easily—discussions of business, shared acquaintances, and subtle digs that only someone in the family would catch. The three of them stood as a formidable trio, their presence commanding attention from those around them, yet Rafe felt a gnawing discomfort.
Across the room, Rafe watched you, your every step calculated yet graceful. The elite socialite you had been raised to be was on full display, your smile radiant as you captured the attention of everyone you passed. Men and women alike found themselves drawn to you, eager to exchange pleasantries, to laugh at your witty remarks, to bask in the glow of your charm.
You were the embodiment of everything your parents had groomed you to be. Rafe, drink in hand, watched you from a distance, his gaze narrowing as he observed the way you held the room’s attention with such effortless ease. It was both mesmerising and maddening.
Your brothers’ voices became a dull hum in the background as Rafe's focus shifted entirely to you. You were laughing now, a light, melodic sound that reached his ears even across the crowded room. The source of your amusement was a man standing far too close, leaning in to whisper something in your ear.
Rafe felt a sharp pang of irritation as he watched you tilt your head slightly, allowing the man into your personal space, your smile bright and unguarded. The proximity between the two of you sent a surge of jealousy through him, a bitter taste mixing with the whisky on his tongue. “Rafe?” William’s voice cut through his thoughts, drawing his attention back to the conversation at hand.
“Hm?” Rafe blinked, momentarily disoriented. “I was saying,” William continued, an amused glint in his eyes, “that you seem a bit distracted. Something on your mind?” Rafe forced a tight smile, taking another sip of his drink to buy himself a moment. “Just taking it all in,” he replied, his tone light, though the tension in his shoulders betrayed him. Edward raised an eyebrow, exchanging a knowing look with William.
“Don’t let it get to you, Cameron,” he said, his voice low and conspiratorial. “This is just the way things are in our world. You’ll get used to it. Especially since you’re married to my sister and part of the family.” Rafe’s grip tightened around his glass, his eyes flicking back to you. The man had said something else, and you were laughing again.
He could feel the heat rising in his chest, a mix of anger and something darker, something that had been festering since the day he’d agreed to marry into your family. “Excuse me,” Rafe muttered abruptly, handing his empty glass to a passing server. Without waiting for a response from your brothers, he began making his way across the room, his eyes locked on you and the man who had somehow earned your attention.
As he approached, he noticed how your posture changed—how you straightened slightly as if sensing his presence before you even saw him. The man, oblivious, continued to speak, but your laughter had stopped, your smile faltering as you glanced over your shoulder to find Rafe closing in.
“Rafe,” you greeted him, your voice pleasant but with a hint of apprehension. “I was just—” “Enjoying yourself?” he finished for you, his tone betraying the irritation he felt. His eyes flicked to the man beside you, who now seemed to realise that he was dangerously close to crossing a line.
You could feel the tension radiating off Rafe, and for a moment, the mask you wore so effortlessly began to slip. “We were just talking,” you said, your voice softer, trying to defuse the situation. Rafe didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he simply held the man’s gaze, the unspoken message clear. His lips were pressed into a thin, unamused line.
After a beat too long, the man cleared his throat awkwardly, offering a quick smile before excusing himself and disappearing into the crowd. The moment he was gone, Rafe turned his attention fully to you, his eyes searching yours for something you weren’t sure you could give him. “You really know how to work a room,” he said, his voice low, almost accusatory.
You frowned, the frustration you had been trying to suppress bubbling back to the surface. “That’s what you’re upset about?” you asked, your voice edged with irritation. “That I’m doing exactly what’s expected of me?” Rafe’s jaw tightened as he stepped closer, his voice low and tight. “Expected by who?” His question was pointed, his proximity forcing your chests to brush against each other, the closeness amplifying the tension.
You turned your gaze away, struggling to maintain your composure. “Your parents?” Rafe continued, his voice carrying an undercurrent of bitterness. “Or you?” The question hung in the air, laden with implications neither of you were fully prepared to confront. Before you could say anything more, a voice called out your name, pulling your attention away. Another guest, eager to engage you in conversation.
Rafe took a step back, giving you space to go back to your role, but his gaze lingered on you, the unspoken words between you leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “Go on,” he murmured, his tone resigned. “Do what you have to do.”
With one last glance at him, you turned and walked away, slipping back into the crowd, into the persona that was expected of you. And Rafe watched, the weight of your earlier argument pressing down on him as he wondered how much longer you could both keep up this charade.
~
As you engaged in conversation with one of the Carmichaels, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning, you found Edward's face set in a serious expression. “I think you should go to the foyer,” he said in a low voice, his tone laced with urgency. Confused but concerned, you excused yourself from the conversation, and Edward guided you through the crowd, his presence a silent support.
When you arrived in the grand foyer, your eyes widened in shock. Your mother stood by the railing, her stance rigid and her face a mask of fury. As she turned to face you, the anger in her eyes was unmistakable. The sight made your stomach drop. “What’s going on?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly as you approached her.
Without waiting for a reply, you followed her gaze over the railing. Below, Rafe was swaying slightly, a glass of whisky in hand, his eyes unfocused. “Ah! There she is, little miss perfect!” Rafe slurred, his voice carrying up to where you stood. He took another swig of whisky, his bleary eyes locked onto you. The mixture of embarrassment and anger made your cheeks flush red, and you felt a sting behind your eyes as a few onlookers turned to see what was happening.
Your mother’s disdainful scoff cut through the mounting tension. “Is he a grown man or a teenage boy? Keep your husband in line. This is an embarrassment!” she spat before turning on her heel and walking away, her heels clicking sharply against the marble floor. You felt a surge of anger and humiliation as you looked back down at Rafe in his disheveled state.
You made your way down the grand staircase, your heels clicking aggressively on the marble floor as you blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. “What the hell is wrong with you?” you demanded, your voice trembling with a mix of fury and distress. “Are you out of your mind, Rafe? Are you seriously trying to embarrass me—” You reached out to grip his forearm, but he roughly shoved your hand away.
“Oh, I’m embarrassing you?” Rafe retorted, his tone dripping with sarcastic bitterness. “Yes!” you fired back, your voice rising as the intensity of the moment escalated. The two of you stared at each other, the space between you charged with mutual frustration. Your chests heaved with heavy breaths, the argument pushing the boundaries of your composure.
“We’re leaving,” you declared firmly, brushing past him as the doors swung open. The brisk, cold air hit your bare shoulders, making you shiver as you hugged yourself against the chill. As you stood by the curb, waiting for your car to arrive, you felt a heavy weight draped over your shoulders.
Turning, you saw Rafe standing there, his jacket missing and his hands tucked into his slacks. You rolled your eyes in exasperation, brushing the jacket off your shoulders and letting it fall to the ground. When the valet finally arrived with the car, you quickly climbed in, slamming the door shut behind you and locking it with a decisive click.
Rafe’s hand grasped the handle as he tried to open the door, his expression a mixture of surprise and frustration. The driver, sensing the tension, hesitated. “Miss?” he asked with a note of uncertainty, glancing at you through the rearview mirror. “Drive,” you said coldly, not even bothering to look at Rafe. “He can find his own way home.”
You leaned back in the seat, trying to steady your breathing as the car pulled away, leaving Rafe standing alone on the cold, gravel driveway.
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trashno0dle · 1 year
Text
so there's a lot of speculation whether or not they're gonna have mike be michael or not in the fnaf movie. and so far even i thought it was pretty unlikely considering the little things we've been shown. but now that the full trailers been revealed there's something that caught my eye. and maybe i'm puling a matpat here and over analyzing one little frame but. just hear me out alright. so in the little snippet we see of a phone call between mike and william, it's pretty normal and well, there's nothing to show that they know each other. clearly mike doesn't know who he's talking to, he just wants a job.
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and honestly for me i was losing hope that they were gonna have mike be revealed to be michael. since initially i thought this was just them confirming that he's not since, surely if he was michael then he'd recognize his fathers voice? but. that might not be the case.
my theory/speculation for the route they're going (again, emphasis on the theory i'm not saying this is 100% canon) is that it's heavily implied there's going to be SOME kind of flashback with mike as a young teenager, since a boy was cast and listed as "young mike" too. and this information about his character given back when casting for the roles were announced.
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"riddled with guilt over a tragedy in his past" which only further strengthens the possibility of a flashback to the bite of 83 where michael pranked his brother and inadvertently caused his death. it's the aftermath of this event with determines how this theory could work. either, william and his wife divorced shortly after, and his wife got custody of mike - they married into another family, the schmidt's. this could lead to abby either being his step-sister or his half-sister.
OR. mike was taken away from william either because of the bite or because the police were heavily suspicious that william was responsible for the missing children. he was put into the system and adopted by - again - the schmidt's. and the reason he doesn't remember anything is because the trauma and the guilt from the bite of 83 and the death of his little brother caused him to heavily repress those memories and in turn, a lot of others (william) without realizing.
so mike doesn't recognize william's voice here. but william?
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this is the frame that caught me here. his expression, the subtle smile on his face. the gears are turning in his head, something clicked.
what if william was keeping tabs on mike this whole time? and he carefully plotted to ensure he got the job at freddy's. for reasons unknown. maybe he just wanted to mess with him, make him remember everything he repressed from his childhood - he's trying to get him to remember by bringing him back to the place where it all started. he remembers his son, but mike doesn't remember his father.
BUT that's just me i'm a little insane. anyway i needed to make this post and write down my thoughts or i'd explode.
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snowy-vee · 7 months
Text
ALL MINE Pt.1 (E.W ff)
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oblivious loser bsf! ellie williams x posesive popular bsf!fem reader
n/a: English is not my first language, any misspelling will be corrected later on, also, please feel free to leave a comment and rb!!
Pt.2 Here
Inform yourself about what's happening and how to help! FREE PALESTINE, FREE CONGO.
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“Bye, girls!” you waved to the cheer team before getting into Ellie’s car, greeting her with a small ‘hi’ and a kiss on her cheek. “Why weren’t you at cheer practice? I missed you looking at me from the bleachers like a little stalker,” you giggle, grabbing her phone to put music to your liking.
“I don’t look like a stalker... Do I? I don't,” she said quietly, and you laughed again. “Anyway, I was doing a project, and I didn’t notice how late it was until you called me to pick you up.”
She started the car and began to drive home. You were both roommates in an off-campus flat, and since Ellie was the only one with a licence, it was common for her to drive you everywhere and pick you up.
You kept looking for a good playlist while ‘Too Fast’ by Sonder was playing when a notification came in. You blinked twice, thinking you might have seen something wrong, but the message from Dina saying she had a good time was still there.
“Dina was your partner for the project?”
“Yes, why? She is very nice; I wonder why I’ve never spoken to her; she’s got a good vibe.”
“Yeah, but isn’t she kind of a loser? I mean, the only interesting thing about her is that she dated Jesse.” You scoffed. The ugly look she gave you after that was enough to make you stop laughing. “I don’t mean it in a bad way! Just saying that you might not want to hang out with her that much.”
“I am a loser too; shouldn’t I be hanging out with my kind of people?”
“You’re not a loser! You just have different interests than the rest of our friends—"
“Your friends"
"My friends, whatever, you hang out with me; that gives you some status and makes you not a total loser but a partial one.”
Ellie rolled her eyes as she parked the car, grabbed her backpack from the back seat, and got out without opening your door, as she usually does. You opened your mouth a little offended and got out too.
“Els! Come on, don’t get angry. I’ll cook dinner, yeah?” You tried to apologise, but she had already locked herself in her room. You snorted, throwing your bag on your bed and then throwing yourself off too.
You and Ellie had been best friends since middle school. You came in as the new girl and soon caught the attention of many, but Ellie was the only one who made you feel comfortable in every way. You were always together and inseparable until high school, when you decided to become a cheerleader, and that’s when the distinction between you and Ellie began.
Although you tried to make time for her or integrate her into the “Populars” group, it didn’t work out, and it was obvious that it made both parties uncomfortable, so the only times you shared space together were at parties or break time. Ellie had friends, not counting the online ones, but for her, they were more like classmates, so she barely spent time with them.
It doesn’t matter; you were going to sleep and apologise in the morning—that is, until, coming out of the bathroom after taking a good shower and changing into your pyjamas, you heard giggles and voices from Ellie’s room.
Was she laughing with Dina? How was it possible that they were already at the level of making video calls? Was there something else she wasn’t telling you? No, you were best friends; you told each other everything.
“Els, I’m going to make instant ramen; do you want the chicken one or?” You opened the door without knocking first to confirm your suspicions, and yes, it was Dina on the other side of the phone. You could see her face and how her smile slowly faded. “Oh, hi, Dina.”
"Hi,” she said softly. “Well, I’m going to have dinner too; talk to you later, Ellie.”
“Yeah, okay, bye, Dina." Ellie smiled, hanging up. She woke up from her bed and nodded in your direction. “I want chicken ramen; I’ll go shower real quick.”
She was still annoyed with you; you could feel it, so that meant you had to apologise tonight.
Your cooking skills were not the best; it was strange that you touched the stove burners, mostly because Ellie did. Talking about the Queen of Rome, there she was standing in her black pyjama pants and sports bra. She was drying her short hair as she watched you cook.  
"Can I help you with something?" She asked, but you refused. You were almost done; you just needed to put the food on the plates. You left the dishes on the table in the living room. "Actually, I was planning to eat in my room today."  
"Ellie, please... I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk like that about your  friends." You started apologising by grabbing her hand and leading her to the couch. "Forgive me, yes? I hate that we're upset about something so small."  
"Ugh, I hate that I can't be mad at you for too long." You squealed with excitement, and before you knew it, you both had finished eating and were now sharing a blanket on the couch while watching a movie.   Your head was resting on her shoulder, and although it was a comfortable position, it got on your nerves that Ellie was on her phone, sending messages and giggling from time to time. It was driving you crazy.
You cleared your throat as you got off the couch. "I'm going to sleep; tomorrow will be a busy day," you said.  
"But the movie isn't over yet," Ellie protested, looking at you with those beautiful eyes of hers. For a moment, you were about to stay, but Ding! Another notification caused her to divert your attention to her phone again.  
"No, I don't want dark circles under my eyes."  
"Wait, one thing..."  
"What?"  
"Tomorrow, where was that party?" you frowned at her question, confused that she's asking about a party.  
"Uh... at the same frat house where we went for the Halloween party, why?"  
"Yes, but can you send me the address?"  
"Yes, but why? You said you didn't want to come, remember?"  
"I know, but you're going to drag me anyway, and Dina said she wanted to come, so I won't be alone."  
"You're never alone; I'm with you," you replied. Ellie raised an eyebrow as she looked at you. "Most of the time, I'm with you, Ellie!"  
"I know! I appreciate it, but... I think I want to get to know Dina more, if you know what I mean." Her cheeks began to redden, and she had a shy smile as she looked at her phone.   That made your stomach churn.
You nodded and couldn't help but let out an incredulous chuckle that went unnoticed by her. "I'll send you the location tomorrow, Els."  
"Great, you're the best; I love you."  
"Me too, get a good night's rest," you said, walking down the hallway to your room. You looked once more at Ellie before entering, still hooked on her phone.   You definitely had to get rid of Dina.  
You didn't have a problem with sharing other things, but Ellie? No way; she was yours, all yours.
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wasitforrevenge · 7 months
Text
oh sweetheart
pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au
word count: 1.9k
rating: 18+
warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)
summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.
authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)
PART 1 | part 2
series masterlist <3
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸
READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.
DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.
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loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.
you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.
it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.
after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.
you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.
jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.
you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.
"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.
he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.
"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.
the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.
the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.
"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.
"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.
you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.
"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.
"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.
"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.
"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.
"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.
suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.
you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.
jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.
dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.
you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.
thats her.
thats the girl who saved you outside.
the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.
the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.
you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.
...5
...4
...3
...2
as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.
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everythingne · 11 days
Text
home is where the heart is (ls2)
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a phone call from your overseas husband interrupts your grocery trip. fortunately, a little bit of florida sun takes the blues away. (requested anonymously, thank you, darling!)
smau/short fic / logan sargeant x wife!reader (no face claim)
warnings/notes: hurt/comfort, logan leaving williams, i once again bring indycar into my fics bc ofc i do. im manifesting logan and alex teammates at prema next season wdym.
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Kyle Kirkwood calling you in the middle of the day is not what you're expecting. You pause in the middle of the Publix, a list of groceries in hand, and fumble in your purse to pull out your phone. The screen showing his name, under it a photo of Logan and Kyle drunkenly floating around your pool over the summer break.
There's a bit of hesitance, and you press the green answer button and pull the phone to your ear with a soft, "Hello?"
"I'm going to kill that British fucker." Is Kyle's first sentence, followed by, "Shit, has Logan called you yet?"
"Not today, why?" You tentatively ask and there's dead silence on the phone before a string of expletives that fly out of Floridian's mouth so quickly you nearly miss his hurried plea for you to call your fiance and the rushed, "so help me God, I need a companion to the fight to the Netherlands."
You end the call after those words, hand tight around the shopping carts handle. You had all your items, right? Not that it mattered if something had happened to Logan overseas and you weren't there. In a bit of a rush, you move to the checkout, tossing your list in you bag and grabbing your wallet. The line feels like it takes years, and the second you've pretty much thrown the bags into the back of the car you are slamming the drivers door and turning on the car as your phone syncs to the cars Bluetooth.
Logan doesn't answer.
It's to be expected. You think. He's busy, he's racing, in meetings and doing media, with little videos you have saved on your phone for when you miss him and need a quick laugh at his and Alex's banter. Usually you'd leave it, but something in Kyle's voice urged you to try again.
Someone picks up on the fifth ring.
"Yn." Benny's voice comes through, soothing you just enough even as you hear the trepidation in his own voice, "Is everything okay?"
"Is Logan okay?" You breathlessly ask, "Kyle called me and said he needed me to call Logan, did something happen?"
"We're almost back to the hotel." Benny says ad you think 'No. That can't be right, it's mid quali, but Benny cuts you off, "When we get up to his room, I'll have him call you."
"Ben, is he okay?" You strain your voice and theres a hesitance, before he sighs.
"It's not gonna be sunshine and rainbows for a bit. But he'll be alright."
Your heart sinks. And you and Benny exchange rushed goodbyes before you practically race home. Every second feels like an hour as you get home, load the groceries into their respective spots, and grab a bag of chips to stress eat while you wait for Logan's call.
And then it happens, and you can barely scramble to grab your phone fast enough to answer it with a sharp, "Logan?"
"Hey." His voice is soft. He's always been soft, choosing his words carefully and keeping back from conversations. Sure, over the years you'd known him, you'd picked his hard exterior apart for the much preferred soft side he showed you. But the walls werte back up now.
"What happened, baby?" You roll to the side, laying in the sun that warms you on the couch, knowing whatever he says next is not going to be what you want to hear.
"It's over." He sighs, "I'm done."
There's a pause where you try to figure out what he means, before your breath catches. As if he hears it, you hear him let out a void laugh.
"But I thought James said.."
"Doesn't matter what he said before, Zandvoorts my last race. He confirmed it with me this morning when we went in. I knew... he was thinking about it... but he had to wait because Red Bull wouldn't give up Liam. But I guess he found a way."
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry."
"No one's gonna know untul next week. Well, excpet for you and Kyle I guess. Because Kyle called me right after it happened and I just kinda... lost it on him."
"Kyle understands. You guys have been talking about how rough this season has been." Rolling onto your back, you let out a huff. "Oh. I wish I could be there with you."
"I'm coming right home after this. I'm not even sticking around after the race." Logan's voice softens, "I just need to see you."
"I'll be here." You smile, despite wanting to cry for your husband, "I always will be."
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It's so late when Logan pulls up to the house. You've been anxiously pacing the length of the backyard for close to six hours now, sure your neighbors have finally realized you've gone a bit crazy. You hear the rumble of his engine and pause, quickly moving to slide open the back door, shutting it quickly as to not allow too many bugs or critters inside. You rush through the house, and throw open the front door to your fiance, your future husband, looking up at you.
"Hey." You whisper, but he doesn't respond. Just props his suitcase against the wall of the entryway and leans into your awaiting arms. HIs arms wrap firmly around you, hands digging into the Miami Dolphins hoodie of his that you'd been wearing all weekend, his face hidden in the crook of your neck as he just breathes in. There's no words that need to be said. The end had sort of been inevitable. Logan had hardly enjoyed his summer break, anxious that james would call any moment, and the chance to start the second leg of the season felt like good luck.
Why didn't James just do it over the break? You couldn't rationalize the answer in your head. And now your poor fiance spent two days traveling alone, and he was tired and a little gross from being on planes and flying across continents.
But now he was home, in Florida, with family set to come over tomorrow night. Giving you both time to just... exist.
"I made pasta." You murmur against the side of his head, and he leans back enough for a small kiss, "And it's with that sauce your mom makes. She wanted to be here but I figured you'd want a quiet house."
"Yeah." Logan just hums in response, arms loose around your waist, he gives you a small sigh then a peck on the nose, "Thank you, baby."
"Of course. Come on, go in and eat, it's in the microwave. I'll throw your wash in and then we can watch like... Friends or The Good Place or something."
Logan smiles, though it's nothing close to the big smiles you're used to from him. He takes your lead, following you inside, before parting in the foyer. Maybe thirty or so minutes later you recoup in the master bedroom, both in fresh pajamas, ready to curl up together when Logan just moves to basically tackle you into the bed. Your laughter rings out in the quiet home, causing the head of your sleepy golden retriever to lift from where she's been cuddled against Logan's leg since he returned.
"I have time for you to teach me to surf now." He murmurs against your collarbone from where he lays on top of you, only popping up momentarily to allow you to scoot under the covers.
"Tomorrow." You whisper to him with a tiny smile, his arms wrapping around you like a warm blanket, "We can go tomorrow."
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liked by alexalbon, oscarpiastri, kylekirkwood, and others...
logansargeant: sunrise with you
tagged: yourusername
COMMENTS HAVE BEEN LIMITED ON THIS POST.
kylekirkwood: oh so now ur 'soft launching' when you've secured her?
⤷ yourusername: ky he knows im just so irresistible he had to... ensure.. 💍
logansargeant: is this why you both are giggling at your phones?
⤷ yourusername: shhh go back to playing pong with dalton
⤷ daltonsargeant: he's losing at pong mini sarge
⤷ kylekirkwood: hes lost the frat energy. too much time in england.
⤷ yourusername: another thing james vowles stole from logan
alexalbon: eyy finally
⤷ yourusername: this is bad for you, now i can publically flirt with @ lilymhe
⤷ lilymhe: the only homewrecking ill allow is you bbg
⤷ alexalbon: @ logansargeant ?? help ??
⤷ logansargeant: good luck mate
oscarpiastri: feels good to be home?
⤷ logansargeant: you know it. see u in oct.
⤷ oscarpiastri: cant wait 👍🏻
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liked by kylekirkwood, daltonsargeant, and others...
yourusername: hometown healing my (future) husband <3
tagged: logansargeant
user: YES HER ACC IS PUBLIC??
user1: omg the PUPPPYYY
⤷ yourusername: her name is sanibel and she's my 'hand me down dog', my parents can't keep up with her wild energy, so i adopted her from them !
kylekirkwood: ur never letting him cut his hair short or style it again
⤷ yourusername: kyle HE LOOKS SO HOT WITH LONG HAIR.
user2: LOGAN LOOKS SO HAPPY SOBS
user3: AWWWW IM SO HAPPY HER ACC IS PUBLICCC!!
user4: WAIT FUTURE HUSBAND?
lilymhe: engagement era has u both glowing
⤷ yourusername: ur next... @ alexalbon
⤷ alexalbon: dont RUSH ME BITCH?
logansargeant: love uuuu
⤷ daltonsargeant: be squisher
⤷ logansargeant: i love you so much you are the best thignt hats ever happened to me you're so amaazingggg
⤷ yourusername: dalton its four pm why are you two drinking already
⤷ daltonsargeant: brother healing time
user5: finally we can get ALL the logan content
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liked by alexlalbon, logansargeant, kylekirkwood, and others...
yourusername: bc the twt girlies think i have a whole boulder. happy one yr six months engagment to us ig :)
kylekirkwood: your hand must hurt from lugging that boulder around
user: STOP THE PICS ARE SO CUTEEEE WAAHH
user2: logan rlly did cash that first williams check huh?
alexalbon: logan rlly set a high standard
coltonherta: god DAMN
lilyzneimer: i remember the like three days up to him proposing, just him and oscar sending like PARAGRAPHS back and forth ab what he was gonna say
⤷ yourusername: did I ever tell you guys he just kinda blanked and said "i think i'll like die or something if you dont marry me"
⤷ user3:OH MY GODD AHAHAH
logansargeant: not my proudest moment tbh but it worked
⤷ yourusername: my cringefail husband <3
oscarpiastri: when is the wedding
⤷ yourusername: whenever this bitch solidifies his contract so i can schedule one between all the different race schedules
⤷ user4: DIFFERENT? race schedules?
⤷ yourusername: babes. im not letting logan touch f1 again for another few years. I missed my husband.
⤷ alexrossi: join the dark side that is indycar
⤷ logansargeant: dont tempt me
⤷ premaracing: both of you get off of instagram we are in a meeting??
⤷ yourusername: LMAOOO
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general tag list (open!)
@d3kstar
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