#mixed metaphor

[snowshinobi]

in the blink of a heart. in the beat of an eye.

[jonathanmorse]

Educational toy: a thought as deep as Harvard's

The thought, featuring a yellow-feathered university president putting on a miner’s hat to cruise deep water in her cage: The toy: a thought bubble for bathtub play after the day’s dirty work hedging the fund: AI by Canva

[sexhaver]

90% of AI art discourse on this site is people arguing over the precise shape/size/color of the bottle that we should put the proverbial genie back in. horses have long since left the barn on this one champ. nobody's belling that cat

[dollypopup]

Say what you will about the Furiosa movie, but there is something so poignant about her demanding her girlhood back, her time, her innocence, all those she lost, and still not realizing at the end that there is no returning.

The throughline of 'there is no hope' and how Furiosa refuses to lose it, but not for the right reasons, not yet. She keeps the peach pit in her hair, her cheek, physical proof of a one day that is just the past, unable to truly move on from that nebulous dream. How she buries it in the body of the man who snatched her away from any clutch she could have of home, stole away her mother, stole away her family, stole away Jack, and grows the fruit of it to give to The Wives, just prior to their escape, to The Green Place, to what she thinks of Home.

But there is no returning. Home is not Home as she knew it. Home morphed and changed and drowned and soured.

Furiosa travels days and days, miles on miles, loses and loses and loses, and all to learn the lesson of this prequel: there is no going back. There is no back to return to. That girlhood is gone, all that she once had has dwindled. There is no more what once was, there is only what Is.

Furiosa works as a prequel because it sets up that Furiosa focused so much of her time on the act of looking back, an Orpheus of a character, who has long felt what she wanted dissipate into smoke, but who believed that if she just tried hard enough, she could get it all back. Her reasons are for 'redemption', to return, a replay, a record skipping re- re- re- but it is only when she sees that The Green Place is a wasteland in its own right, and when Max tells her to go back to the Citadel in Fury Road, that she realizes what she has been running TO was actually what she was running FROM: reality. The reality that she is where she is, and that her roots have grown in a place she now has the opportunity to mold for the better, and that she *can* make it better, even though the cost was (and always is) blood.

Furiosa spends all of her titular movie looking over her shoulder at the past to set up for a Furiosa who spends the last half of Fury Road looking to the future.

[salsedinepicta]

There’s no harm in wanting something beautiful.

[loversmore]

“Hey. So will you tell me now what it is? You said you’d tell me something after we completed every course.” MY LOVE MIX-UP!, episode 05

[jaehwany]

I chose to sell Chicken Rice because it’s a simple dish consisting of four components; rice, chicken, broth, and sauce. It may have only four units yet everyone’s definition of ‘delicious’ differs. Some love to eat chicken skin. Some love chicken thighs. Some don’t eat it with the sauce at all. Some love the hot broth. That’s what makes this simple dish stand out. I see people eat Chicken Rice every day. And they enjoy their Chicken Rice in their own way.

MOONLIGHT CHICKEN (2023) dir. Backaof Noppharnach

[dyedviolet]

So imagine you're Ishmael except you're sneaking aboard an unmanned vessel, and then when you're well out to sea the boat starts talking to you and basically says "hey I'm god and I could smite you on a whim." You're understandably scared so you just start reading one of the many novels you packed for the journey, but the the boat that is god starts reading over your shoulder and almost using your brain as a filter to understand human emotion. Boat-god has blorbos now, you're besties, and then you go on to the next leg of the journey and don't see boat-god again for a while. When you do, boat-god has been almost killed to death by the fish people from Portsmoth or wherever Lovecraft said they're from, so you kill the fish people and save boat-god. Boat-god's crew is here this time and when you're done tying up loose ends, and help arrives, you find out that the organization that made boat-god has been shoving a lot of god into a lot of boats and your boat-god might actually be one of the slightly less powerful ones.

That's what Murderbot's friendship with ART has been like

[whumpster-fire]

The (N+1) Little Pigs

Where N is a comically large number.

From: Fairy Tales To Tell Other People's Children To Get Out Of Being Asked to Babysit In the Future: An Anthology

Once Upon A Time, there were (N+1) little pigs, who lived in a house with their mother. One day, their mother kicked them out to seek their fortunes in the world, because they were unemployed losers who turned their rooms into pigsties.

The First Little Pig saw a farmer selling bales of straw. "Aha!" he thought, "That looks like the perfect material to build a house for the minimum amount of effort!" He told his brothers this. They all looked at him like he was an idiot.

"A straw house is easy to build, but it's also easy to tear down!" said the Third Little Pig. "What if a wolf comes?" He started to show his brother studies about the maximum wind loads of straw houses, but the First Little Pig wasn't listening.

"Wolves are a hoax," said the First Little Pig. He bought the straw anyway, and built a rather ramshackle house.

The Second Little Pig laughed at the first little pig's foolishness, but when he saw a woodcutter selling sticks, he thought: "I want a big house, but I don't want to waste too much time building it. These will be perfect."

The Third Little Pig saw a bricklayer selling bricks, and thought: "These will make the strongest house possible. I'd like to see a wolf break into this!"

Soon, the Big Bad Wolf came along. He saw the houses the pigs had built, and he came up with a plan. He knocked on the door of the First Little Pig's straw house.

"Good Morning," he said to the First Little Pig. "Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior -"

"Go away, I'm playing Minecraft!" shouted the First Little Pig, and slammed the door in the Big Bad Wolf's face. So the Big Bad Wolf thought of a better plan.

"Hi, I'm installing Rooftop Solar, do you have a moment to talk about -"

"Go away."

So the Big Bad Wolf thought of a better plan.

"We've been trying to reach you concerning your car's extended warranty -"

"Die in a fire, Big Bad Bitch."

So the Big Bad Wolf thought of a better plan. He knocked on the door one more time.

"Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

The Big Bad Wolf peered in the window, and decided the hair on the pig's chinny chin chin wasn't much of a threat. It was kind of unimpressive actually. A neckbeard, even.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"

Then the Big Bad Wolf huffed, and puffed, and blew the straw house to pieces, and that was the end of the First Little Pig.

He moved on to the Second Little Pig's house, and repeated the process, only without the several ineffective scams. He went straight to the threats and demands, which is an admirable quality in a villain.

"Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"

Then the Big Bad Wolf huffed, and puffed, and blew the stick house to splinters, and that was the end of the Second Little Pig.

The Third Little Pig watched his brothers' demise from his brick house, and made a smug FaceBook post about inferior construction methods. When he heard a knock on his door, he said without even waiting for the wolf to speak: "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

"Uhh, this is your neighbor Bob. I just wanted to check in and see if you're okay, I saw on NextDoor there were two houses blown in by a wolf, and my neighbor Dale said both the victims were pigs, so it seems like there's a pattern."

"Oh. Sorry," said the pig. "Don't worry about me, I've got the strongest house in the whole town!" and he patted the brick walls.

Bob the Neighbor left, and the Big Bad Wolf came along.

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

"Aww, come on, man, you didn't even give me a chance to knock!"

"This story's getting too long."

"Fair. Ahem… I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"

The Third Little Pig waited smugly in his armchair, waiting for the wolf to tire himself out. But what he didn't realize was that his attic windows had blown in. The Third Little Pig had built his house with a gable style roof for aesthetic reasons, and he had neglected to install hurricane ties as required by building codes in many areas prone to high wind disasters. With wind blowing inside the attic and over the roof, it acted just like a wing! The whole roof lifted off the house and blew away, and without the structural support, even the sturdy brick walls collapsed, crushing the Third Little Pig armchair and all.

The Fourth Little Pig built his house out of stone, with structurally adequate roof design. The wolf huffed and puffed with all his might, but the house just wouldn't budge!

So the Big Bad Wolf waited for the Fourth Little Pig to leave the house. After a few days, this little piggy went to market, when this little piggy should have stayed home. But this little piggy had to buy roast beef, because this little piggy had none. This little piggy saw a familiar shape in the parking lot, and cried WEEE WEEE WEEE WEEE, half of the way home. Not all the way home, because he only got halfway there before the Big Bad Wolf caught him and ate him.

The Fifth Little Pig purchased a 7500 sq ft McMansion in a gated community. But the house soon began to fall apart due to its subpar construction, and the Little Pig lost all his money in the subprime mortage crisis. The bank foreclosed on him, and threw him out in the streets, where the Big Bad Wolf had an easy meal.

The Sixth Little Pig built a sturdy wooden house: not a flimsy stick one, but solid timber framing. The wolf huffed and he puffed, but he could not blow the house in. Instead, he poured gasoline all over the exterior walls of the house and lit a match. The house caught fire, and turned the Sixth Little Pig into fried bacon.

The Seventh Little Pig built another stone house, and a very nice one it was. In fact, it was a castle. But he'd built it on a swamp, so his castle sank into the swamp. So he built another castle. That one sank into the swamp. So he built a third one. That one burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one stayed up! And that's what the Seventh Little Pig's son inherited: the strongest castle in all of Pigland. However, when Wolfram the Conqueror invaded in 1066 AD, the Seventh Little Pig's castle proved incapable of withstanding the ferocious assault of the Warwolf Trebuchet. The Seventh Little Pig tried to surrender before the monstrous siege engine was even completed, but the Big Bad Wolf just laughed, and said there was no way he was going to all that effort to build such a large trebuchet and not use it. Soon the castle lay in ruins, and the Noble House of the Seventh Little Pig was broken.

The Eighth Little Pig built his house out of reinforced concrete. "I'd like to see you huff and puff this house down!" he boasted. "And I've got enough supplies in here to last for two years!"

But the Big Bad Wolf knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy, and the guy who a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy knew a guy who knew was an armadillo who worked in the demolitions industry. The armadillo set up several very large explosive charges all around the fourth pig's house.

"Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!" said the Big Bad Wolf.

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!"

The armadillo laughed, and said: "Then Fire In the Hole! I'll blow your house in!"

With an almighty BANG! that stone house went away, And what happened to the pig isn't pleasant to say. The locals claim porkchops and cutlets rained down On Roofs, streets and sidewalks for three blocks around And windows were broken all over the town.

A-hem! Enough rhyming, back to the story.

The Ninth Little Pig didn't build a house at all. He just wasn't into it, man. Building houses meant being part of the system! He crashed on other people's couches and smoked weed all day. One day there was a knock at the door.

"Hey, man! Wanna buy some weed?" asked the Big Bad Wolf, who was wearing a clever disguise: he had a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a t-shirt that said "420." The Ninth Little Pig stared at him through bloodshot eyes. He scratched the hairs on his chinny chin chin. "Sure, man. Totally radical." He let the wolf in. The wolf was planning to eat him, but the smell of weed was so overpowering that he immediately became high, and they talked about metaphysical philosophy for three hours. Sadly for the Ninth Little Pig, after that the wolf got the munchies and ate him. Due to the sheer quantity of The Devil's Lettuce the pig had partaken in, the Big Bad Wolf was tripping balls for several weeks.

The Tenth Little Pig decided to move to a faraway land where there were no wolves and build his house there. On his journey he came to a bridge, where a troll was waitin for passerby.

"Ha ha!" said the troll. "You must pay the troll toll! I will eat you, delicious pig!"

"Wait!" cried the Tenth Little Pig. "My big brother is coming, and he has a house made of sticks! Wouldn't you rather eat him instead?"

"What." Said the Troll, and there was a long, awkward silence. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I think this is the wrong fairy tale," said the pig.

"I agree," said the troll, and ate him, so the Big Bad Wolf lost this round.

Later, the Big Bad Wolf came to a train track, where he saw a speeding trolley heading towards a switch. On the track ahead were five little pigs tied to the train tracks, on the other track was a single little pig. By pulling a lever, the wolf could make the trolley switch to the other track, saving the five little pigs but dooming the single pig. The Big Bad Wolf didn't pull the lever and allowed the five little pigs to be run over, because he was a Big Bad Wolf and killing more pigs was a desirable result for him. The Mad Philosophy Professor who had tied the pigs to the tracks and sabotaged the trolley's brakes lost his funding due to the lack of conclusive results, which just goes to show the importance of sound experiment design.

The Seventeenth Little Pig holed up in his house and refused to leave. The wolf waited and waited, but as he was waiting, he saw a little girl in a red hood wandering through the woods with a picnic basket. The Big Bad Wolf decided to try to eat her instead, but that is a story for another time. The Seventeenth Little Pig seemed safe, but little did he know that a deadly swine flu pandemic was spreading throughout the community.

The Eighteenth Little Pig built a very grand and sturdy house of brick and stone, but it had large windows that were easy to break into. One night, a pack of four Big Bad Wolves broke into his house. "What the Devil?" cried the Eighteenth Little Pig as he grabbed his powdered wig and Kentucky Rifle. He huffed, and he puffed, and he blew a golfball sized hole through the first wolf, shooting him dead on the spot. He drew his pistol on the second wolf, but it missed him entirely because it was smoothbore and nailed the neighbor's dog. He had to resort to the cannon at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. The grapeshot shredded two wolves in the blast, and the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. The Eighteenth Little Pig fixed bayonets and charged the last terrified wolf, who bled out waiting for the police to arrive because triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. "Ah," said the Eighteenth Little Pig, "Just as the Founding Sounder intended."

The Nineteenth Little Pig went to college to become a Marine Biologist. This had many benefits, including living on a research vessel far away from any Big Bad Wolves. Sharks, on the other hand, were a different matter.

The Twentieth Little Pig didn't build a house: he hid in a cave, where he survived on a diet of 10,000 spiders per day and never left. He survived the Big Bad Wolf, but he is an outlier and should not have been counted.

The End

[peachdoxie]

See I don't mind all of the vanilla extract memes because I think watching tumblr beat a dead horse into the ground is funny.

[sneeb-canons]

"Heart bleeds purple" this "Mind bleeds blue" that

What about all three of them bleeding gold (or whatever color you intep Whole to be)

Headcanon #488

[winepresswrath]

Darla/Angelus is also great because the show has a competing designated OTP and they exist to serve as contrast and hateful competition to THE ship. they are soulless monsters even by the standards of soulless monsters, they literally make the other soulless monsters go "yikes... your relationship seems not good maybe." but they love each other so fucking much. the writers can't help it. they are constantly trying to find their way back to each other. the way she hits him over a head with a shovel and leaves him to an angry mob while he tries to say he doesn't mind dying if it's with her AND the way they coo about it to each other afterwards. the way she takes him back against her better judgement because she missed him so so much but then kicks him out again later because he still can't be who she needs him to be. that's just how they say i love you.

[pizzagame4000]

we all know human vigilante… but what about… slightly human vigilante

[soscarlett1twas]

Dragonrider!Elias who is taking up the mantle of his parents, the two wardens of the dragonriders. His mother was the first to form a connection with the creatures - which were previously thought to be chaotic and completely unreasonable - and his father the second. He spends his days watching over ocean waters or townships, there to serve the people who depend on the dragons for safety, and spends his nights in the sky, flying as close to the stars as he can, on the back of a beast born of them.

Dryad!Isaac who was made from nature but prefers to spend his days in a human form, though watching over the tree which his roots are tied to. After all, he is technically a hamadryad, and after seeing what happened to his mother... he refuses to go the same. Local legends tell of how those woods are haunted, and if you dare to step foot in them, he is always watching. Waiting. But there was a dragonrider who dared to enter once before, and while they were never seen from again, it is said flowers now bloom even in rotting trunks, a sign of a dryad's happiness.

Paladin!Andrew who too once braved these woods. But even if he reasoned with the dryad (or maybe there was a deeper connection), he had to leave, sworn under oath to his religion. But how faithful is he truly? After the woods, his fellow knights have felt his wavering, magic once foreign to him becoming clearer in the light of dappled forests. He tries to reason with himself, but the only thing keeping him truly tied to the faith is his Patriarch, the highest rank a religious official can have in his order - who also happens to be his brother.

Eldritch!Luca who looks and acts and talks just like a normal man, but there's something off. He lurks in dark corners of the world and is known by many names... are we sure 'Luca' is his real one? Creatures are drawn to him, yet even the dragons seem wary...

[wiverly]

Slade: Hi, are you a pastry chef?

Dick: No, why?

Slade: Because your dad is a real pastry.

Dick: What?

Slade: Oh shit, sorry! You are the pastry, not your father, he is the pastry chef. Never mind, bye.

[kafkasapartment]

"The cushion (Martha Kurzweil sitting on a divan)", 1903. Max Kurzweil. Color woodcut on wide-margined, soft Japan paper.