#monica x gilfoyle

[ariana-paris]

Chapters: 16/16 Fandom: Silicon Valley (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bertram Gilfoyle/Monica Hall Characters: Bertram Gilfoyle, Monica Hall, Dinesh Chugtai, Richard Hendricks, Jared Dunn Additional Tags: Romantic Comedy, Episode: s05e08 Fifty-One Percent, Canon Typical Behavior, Casual Racism, Office Romance, Strong Language Summary:

Gilfoyle likes Monica. Monica doesn’t like Gilfoyle. Or at least she doesn’t until she knows he likes her. Not that she wants a relationship with him, of course. They are complete opposites, after all. But you know what they say about opposites…

After over two years, it’s finally finished! Many thanks to everyone who followed it throughout the pandemic!

[mkmetz]

BACKUP

[thoughtslikeaminefield]

Silicon Valley

Idk who watches Silicon Valley, but I need to write some Monica shaving Gilfoyle erotica.

[schienle-blog]

also, here’s a thought that builds up dinfoyle without having an adverse effect on hallfoyle:

season five reworked and downgraded dinesh and gilfoyle’s relationship to make room for monica, which in turn validates what we’ve all been thinking since day one, doesn’t it? if d&g had to be separated in order for m&g to be palatable, that means that the boys were too involved. they were skirting the edge of romance too closely to leave room for the exploration of a new relationship.

i think everyone’s a little thrown - maybe mad at monica, maybe at the writers; maybe just confused by the turn their long-lived ship has taken - because s5 essentially dragged us through the aftermath of a dinesh/gilfoyle breakup and marched us right into monica/gilfoyle (i don’t really have complaints here, though! it’s just jarring in the way that moving on from any partner would be)

i personally hope they get back to how they’ve always been (breakup make-up?) next season, but this one has confirmed for us that dinesh/gilfoyle has always been at least somewhat legitimate and that is something

[gayformycode]

We were ROBBED of an implied/explicit Gilfoyle/Tara/Monica threesome after erlich kept insisting that Monica should "try women".

[a-pair-of-boys-back-in-business]

Silicon Valley S6 Ep04 reactions:

- "automatic social shit"

- snarky Dinesh and Gilfoyle working as a team 😍😍😍

- I hate Ethan already

- "Patches??"

- Holden's side eye at Ethan is a mood

- what the fuck is Laurie eating?

- Need more Jared

- John + Gilfoyle = Unlikely friendship?

- I don't like Jared with Gwart 😭😭😭

- oh my God, fuckkkk Ethan

- Dinesh is being a good friend for once!

- "Fuck yeah!"

- I need more Jared...

- Oh my God, leave Gavin to his terrible novel 🥺

- FUCK JARED'S PARENTS

- My poor tall angel 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- Gilfoyle's half ponyyyy

- Richard deserves some goddamn respect

- Good for you, Richard!

- NO JARED, GO BACK TO RICHARD

- Gilfoyle is bad at something?

- fuck yeah, Priya!!!

- Laurie had a reaction to Gwart? 🤔

- Tough Richard is kind of hot

- Jared trained Holden a little too well

- FUCKING GWART

-YESYESYES JARED AND RICHARD REUNITED AT LAST

- BACK THE FUCK UP HOLDEN, JARED'S FUCKING BACK

[shady-swan-jones]

Schrödinger's cat

Summary: "First you say ‘I like you’ as if I haven’t spent the last three years watching you being a mean sarcastic asshole and not caring about anyone’s feelings. Then you add ‘not like that’, disappear, and proceed to never mention it again. And go to extreme lengths to avoid me. So, for fuck’s sake, Gilfoyle, what is your deal?”

Monica is furious. Gilfoyle falls back on science and philosophy as a way to address his feelings. Naturally.

On Ao3

Notes: Did I disappear for months and came back, writing for the first time, for a fandom consisting of, like, three people? Yes and yes. Silicon Valley has the kind of witty dialogue I aspire to and the lack of romantic relationships leaves everything to our hands. Let’s make it our own, stallions!  

Thanks to @alethiometry for doing editing work and encouraging me.

Gilfoyle’s ‘Drink Coffee Hail Satan’ mug was staring at Monica, mocking her from his workspace. A week had passed since the same mug and a very surprised Monica witnessed Gilfoyle's awkward (one might say cute) attempts at courtship. Seriously, Monica thought, who says I like you anymore? What are we, five? Of course, she didn’t tell him that, due to her mind suddenly melting. The command couldn’t be processed, and fried her memory. She couldn’t even think about what this confession meant.

But now, a week later, it’s all she’s thinking about.

Because she has her own, less childish version of ‘I like you, too' but the damn man hasn't given her any chance to utter two consecutive words in his presence. He's rushing through doors when he sees her, remains glued to his work station to such a degree that he should be worried for his bladder, and, unlike that time they drank the last drops of his treasured Pappy van Winkle, he doesn't seek her out.

It's not easy avoiding someone in open offices, Monica thinks, but the Prince of Darkness is trying his damn best.

While she is staring at the mug, hoping it holds the answer to the universe, or at least to the conundrum messing up her personal life, its grumpy-faced owner comes to view. His step visibly falters when he sees her, but he continues his way over with a stroll that seems almost feline. She would appreciate his moves much more if she saw him heading anywhere else but away from her recently.

The mug gives her an idea, a plan of attack. She’s not come this far in venture capitalism without meticulously planning her every move. If she were to wait until Gilfoyle approached her, the new internet would be ancient by then. So, mug in hand, she passes the sleep-deprived faces of the programmers and heads to the kitchen wordlessly, forcing Gilfoyle to follow her there.

Inside, she marvels at the counter, which is spotless, and the pantry, neatly organised, alphabetised, the food separated by dietetic preferences (Jared is not to be messed with) when Gilfoyle enters the room. Judging by the expression on his face, there were errors in his code or something equally enraging.

“First you drink my bourbon, then you take my mug. I didn't realise we were engaging in a ‘communist Russia’ role playing scenario. I accept payment in the form of more coffee.” He motions with his head to the coffeemaker. “Or bitcoin.”

Monica levels him with her practised “you know exactly what you did” stare and taps her fingers lightly on the back of the chair next to her.

“What?”

“You are physically capable of talking to me again. Thank god!” She doesn’t even bother to mask the irony in her voice; he deserves the mocking, after all.

“That sounds overdramatic,” he responds flatly, a tiny smile threatening to break out from behind his beard.

“So is changing direction every time you see me coming.” She smiles triumphantly at his bewildered face. “What, you didn’t think I’d notice? We work together, asshole.” She feels her agitation rising. “Or at least I’m trying to work with you, but you’re making it so hard.”

“What is your point, Monica?” he asks.

“What do you think?” Her hands make gestures, seemingly having a mind of their own. ”You. Acting all weird and shit around me. At work. When we’re supposed to work together on this Atwood account. I tried to do it with Dinesh, but guess what, he doesn’t know shit about the faulty subroutine. And he kept talking to me about his Tesla, like we don’t live in Silicon Valley and it’s a rarity to be a posh manchild around here.”

Gilfoyle smirks and tries to speak, probably to insult Dinesh in an equally dark and creative way, but she doesn’t let him.

“Your weirdness is getting on my nerves. Big time. First you say ‘I like you’ as if I haven’t spent the last three years watching you being a mean sarcastic asshole and not caring about anyone’s feelings. Then you add ‘not like that’, disappear, and proceed to never mention it again. And go to extreme lengths to avoid me. So, for fuck’s sake, Gilfoyle, what is your deal?”

The initial shock has left his face and he laughs humorlessly. His eyes cast down. He sighs. “It’s time to open the box then,” he murmurs. “There is but a simple reason I didn’t wait for your answer. Or asked you afterwards.” He pauses, gathering courage and hoping that Hooli launches another attack against them, so he can leave this conversation before he says something so profoundly embarrassing that it would make Dinesh shit his pants with laughter and give him lifelong pissing material. Alas, nothing interrupts this tense silence. At her expectant stare he caves.

“Schrodinger’s cat.”

“What?”

“-and to think I used it against Jared. How ironic that it’s come to bite me in the ass.”

‘Gilfoyle! What does it have to do with anything? And I swear to god, if you try to explain it to me as if I don’t know high school physics I’m gonna kill you.” She pauses. If she expects honesty from him, she should give him a token. ”Okay, I know about it from The Big Bang Theory. Early seasons, before it went to shit. Same thing. What does it have to do with your weird… weirdness around me?”

“Cause it’s better now that I don’t know if you’re into me, Monica! If I ask, you’ll answer-”

“That’s how questions work!”

“-And possibly shoot me down. Hard, if the way you’re looking at me right now is anything to go by. Whatever impression I’ve given you, I actually care about what you think of me.”

“Since when?”

“The fuck do I know? I just do. A scary amount.” He continues, uncharacteristically serious. “So I let our thing be in both theoretical states of existence and non-existence cause I’m not damn ready to kill the cat yet.”

“Aren’t cats sacred for you? Satan’s pet and all that?”

“Yes. Plus they mind their own business and that’s something I respect. But that’s not…” he pauses. “Okay. Let’s open the box. Make it quick.”

“Ask me, then,” she says defiantly.

“That would be awkward. Are you confusing me with Dick?”

“You said it, Gilfoyle. You have to open the box. Ask me. In this century. We both have work to do.”

“Technically, I don’t. I completed the code check early so my only task now is to rub it in Dinesh’s face.”

She stares at him dead in the eyes, reminding him of the time he had a very interesting question about her annulled marriage. He’s not going to back down this time.

“If we could somehow ignore the fact that we work together 15 hours a day and that anything more than a friendship would jeopardize our jobs, would you like to have a beer with me? Or food. Anything that doesn’t involve work or the guys or anyone else except me and you.”

The intensity of his words should scare her, it would be too much coming from anyone else, but Gilfoyle’s decisiveness is welcome.

“Even if I wanted one of your weird russian beers?” she asks, trying unsuccessfully to hide her smile.

He takes a moment to fake-think about it. “That could be arranged.” A small smile breaks from behind his beard and his eyes radiate this calm sense of happiness he has when completing a particularly challenging subroutine. And they are focused solely on hers.

“Good” is all the affirmation he needs to slowly move closer to her, searching her face. He seems to find whatever he’s looking for and takes a final step to bring their torsos to almost touching. She angles her face up to his, relishing the novelty which somehow feels familiar.

“There’s only one problem.” She bites her lip and worry flows through his body like an electric shock. (Attraction flows too, because, come on, it’s Monica. But mainly worry.)

“I fucking knew it. It was too good. What’s wrong?” she finds stressed looks cute on Gilfoyle. “Did Dinesh tell you anything? Is this why he’s been so smug lately?” The layers of stress give way to concern, as he brings his hand to the side of her face and cradles her head.

“I am not a cat person.” Her smile is blinding, like it wasn’t mere seconds ago that she almost gave him a heart attack.

“Well, you kept this cat alive.” He closes the last centimeters until their noses touch and his lips find hers, the contact making him instantly aware of how much he’s craved this moment.

As her lips slide to his her hands find his chest, he marvels at how he hadn’t imagined a kiss between them for a long time but these last months the thought of it hunts his dreams. It’s everything he didn’t know he needed and he gets lost in the sensation. His hands move to her neck, angling her head to deepen the kiss. Every breath he takes brings a taste of her in his mouth and he feels warmer than the seven depths of hell. Monica fights him for control (unlike business, now she fights dirty) nipping at his lips and testing his resolve in this very public, glass covered kitchen.

The brief thoughts of privacy and coworkers leaves his mind as her hands explore his chest and anchor to his beat up flannel. Her touch is firm but exploratory, both realising that it’s one of these moments where time gets suspended, a little bling in the space-time continuum allowing them to relish this careless affection.

He chases her lips, his scruff tingling her lightly and they forget momentarily about Pied Piper, the New Internet, coin prices and remaining funding. There is no Jared making rules for office behaviour or Richard in the verge of his monthly crisis or Dinesh trying to be as annoying as a human can be. There is just them, the hum of promise surrounding them and the air clear of their worries.

Her nails join at the back of his neck and he can’t remember the last time a simple touch carried so much promise. He rests his forehead on hers and they close their eyes in silent agreement that they will figure this thing out.

Minutes after, as he makes two bowls of cereal with Monica hugging him from behind and alternating between trash talking his cooking skills, kissing and biting the juncture of shoulder to get him to make a mess, one thing is clear. He’s never been more grateful that she bullied him to open that damn box and peer inside. Hopefully into his future.

Please consider commenting if you enjoyed. It’s gonna make a difference on whether I write again or not. The Atwood account is a ‘Handmaiden’s Tale’ reference. 

tagging people @alethiometry @businessboyjared @batgirl-stephanie-brown @evilwtch @vanderhaus @babybighetti @camewiththeframe @goodstoriesneverend @collectibleclam @jd0608  @programasaurusrex @curlyricho @marvelalpha @iolanthereylo in case you’re interested

[youwillfindilluminating]

can I have some fic of gilfyole going down on monica for like, an hour?

[ren-nolasco]

About Silicon Valley’s S5 Finale

The Gilfoyle / Monica thing or joke or whatever that random plot device was had me 0% upset about a ship sinking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Come on. Somone really believed that a comedy show centered on engineers with no romantic plot was going to put two male main characters together? I’m not half as optimistic as this belief demands)

What upset me was these three things:

1-  Giving your show’s only recurrent female character a role as a main character’s love interest is falling back into the cliche that women can’t be written off a romantic narrative. I believed the writers understood the problem with this after they killed Richard/Monica between S1 and S2, but just shifting Monica to another main character’s interest doesn't end the issue. And it got me thinking: if Laurie was young and attractive, would they pair her up with Dinesh? Jared? Richard? Because she and Carla are the only two women in Silicon Valley without romantic plots now, and Carla is dead, and remember Tara not having a personality and being just Gilfoyle’s hot girlfriend walking around in a robe? This do not help at all the show’s already weak female representation.

2- Deciding to invest or even joke with the possibility of a same-gender couple in a show takes MONTHS or YEARS of planning, and writing, and plotting, and drama, but all it takes to a straight couple is five minutes interacting in a random episode. This already got me SO MAD with Gotham a few weeks ago (it took them two episodes to give The Riddler a canon relationship with a female, and two seasons to develop and not give him a canon relationship with The Penguin), but it made me frustrated with Silicon Valley for other reasons: this isn’t even about what’s interesting for the characters. Gilfoyle already has a girlfriend, they could have Tara back and give her the personality she deserves. Monica and Gilfoyle never even truly interacted. What’s frustrating is having five minutes of casual talking turning into a romantic interest just because to shut down the possibility of a way more advanced and plausible queer relationship, and how easily they made this decision when we all know if it wasn’t straight, it would be absurd.

3- Working on two male characters’s relationship doesn’t necessarily means a romantic one. Enemies to friends is a huge Gilfoyle and Dinesh plot to put in motion at this point where the show is about to end. I don’t want Gilfoyle and Dinesh to confess they secret burning desire for one another. I just want them to be friends. I want Gilfoyle inviting Dinesh to live with him and to be his best man when he marries Tara or whatever it takes to make those two realizes they’re each other’s best friends all along. And having those two spend a whole season apart just when in S4 they were drifting to a friendly path was just bad writing and, mainly, bad character development. Dinesh was all poorly written this season. Dinesh is not the new Erlich, please, stop trying to make him that. Gilfoyle is not indifferent to Dinesh. They have been best friends since S1, but their relationship grew meaner to easier jokes over the years and see it end like this was just so sad for someone who really likes those characters since year one (yeah, I watch the show since it first aired). Just make them be friends and have fun again. And don’t use Monica as a cheap and random plot device or end their friendship because you’re afraid of giving two male characters some closure. That’s just so freaking low.

[itssenshi-blog]

Fav people

[ariana-paris]

Always check with the other half before making important business decisions.

[mkmetz]

when you are hot but you realise he is hotter

[svexchange2k19]

Treat List!

What’s a treat list? It’s an anonymous list of exchange participants’ requests that I’m posting here so that anyone (regardless of if you’ve signed up to do the exchange or not) can create gifts matching these prompts if they want to :))

This part of the exchange is strictly optional (no obligation from anyone to do this) and it’s also not an exchange (i.e. if you make a treat, you don’t get something back ... other than the knowledge that you’ve made someone very happy :)).

Treats can be basically anything you want! E.g. a quick doodle, a few lines of a drabble, or anything more complex/long if you choose :)

How to submit a treat:

Please email svwinterexchange2k19@gmail.com with ‘Treat for Prompt [x]’ in the subject line, e.g. ‘Treat for Prompt 1’

If you want to post your treat publicly on your Tumblr/AO3 account, please only do so after the exchange’s gift reveal date (25 January 2020). Close to this date I will let you know who the treat recipient was and you can then tag/link/mention them in your post, send it to them if you want, etc.

The Treat List

/// PROMPT 1 ///

First choice of ship: Ed Chambers/Richard

Second choice of ship: Big Head/Jian-Yang

Additional ships: Jared/Richard / Gilfoyle/Monica

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? Teen and Up. Mature and Explicit Welcome.

Content preferences: Evil!Richard or Possesive/Jealous!Ed Chambers. Angst with happy outcomes.

Prompts/suggestions:

Ed Chambers secretly hiring himself as an employee. Richard hates him and always hears Jared talking about him.

Pied Piper actually succeeds AU. Jared dealing with super powerful Richard who needs to be brought down a peg.

Big Head secretly knowing what’s up and handling Jian-Yang, playing him like a fiddle.

Content weaknesses: I will reject nothing. Everything involving SV is good.

Content limits: No limits. The dirtier the better.

Anything else you want to share with your gift creator? If you've ever stopped yourself from writing something because you thought the fandom would judge you. Give me that.

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 2 ///

First choice of ship: Jared/Richard

Second choice of ship: Gilfoyle/Monica

Additional ships: Dinesh/Gilfoyle

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? If so, please list in order of preference. Mature, Explicit, Teen, Everyone

Content preferences: Fluff, angst with a happy ending, porn with plot/porn with feelings

Prompts/suggestions:

Pied Piper Christmas Party

Finale fix it fic

Sick fic

Meet the Parents

Pretty much any AU other than high school

Content weaknesses: Preferably not Erlich x Richard, Richard x Gavin, Richard x Bighead, or Jared x Gilfoyle

Content limits: Non-con, domestic violence, gay bashing

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 3 ///

First choice of ship: Jared/Richard

Second choice of ship: Gilfoyle/Monica

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? No preference

Content preferences: Content: fluff or h/c, comedy, but most importantly, romance.

Prompts/suggestions: Boy howdy do I love tropes. I love hijinks, farce comedy, fake relationship stuff, and bad, fumbly sex where they get to giggle and be nervous without inhibitions. But also, if you have a hankering for something specific, throw it at me! no story is going to be better than one You genuinely want to write.

Content weaknesses: gilfoyle/dinesh, anything with Erlich

Content limits: rape/ non con, underage (Like if they're 17 or something that's fine but they gotta be the same age ish)

Anything else you want to share with your gift creator? Uh... I love you

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 4 ///

First choice of ship: Jared/Richard

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? As much as I love explicit art and fic, I would prefer not to receive any in this exchange.  Teen/mature/whatever is all good for me

Content preferences: I enjoy humor, fluff, and drama.  Please no angst

Prompts/suggestions:

Historical AU

Fantasy AU

arranged marriage/marriage of convenience

established relationship

Content weaknesses: none

Content limits: No explicit violence or gore please.  hurt/comfort is ok as long as the focus is on comfort.  Oh, and no major character death!

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 5 ///

First choice of ship: Jared/Richard

Second choice of ship: Ed Chambers/Richard

Additional ships: Gilfoyle/Monica

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? 1) Explicit 2) Mature

Content preferences: in no order - angst with a happy ending; comedy; pining/mutual pining; romance; gratuitous smut; tenderness

Prompts/suggestions: in no order - bed sharing; soulmate AUs; Alone on the Water AU; high school AU with misfits finding each other and pining SO MUCH PINING; Richard sees Jared in a tux for the first time; inappropriately timed proposal; Richard bids on Jared at a date auction for charity; Jared works as a stripper, Richard becomes a regular; Pied Piper Christmas party complete with mistletoe and drunken shenanigans; any version of Richard and Jared confessing their love for each other

Content weaknesses: Dinesh/Gilfoyle, Big Head/Jian Yang, Dinesh/Gilfoyle/Monica.

Content limits: non-con (references to past abuse, like mentions in Jared's past, are ok, just nothing onscreen)

Anything else you want to share with your gift creator? Thank you for making a gift for me!

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 6 ///

First choice of ship: Jared/Richard

Second choice of ship: Ed Chambers/Richard

Additional ships: Dinesh/Gilfoyle/Monica

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? No preference.

Content preferences: hurt/comfort, pining, angst with a happy ending, porn with feelings, domestic life, AUs, established relationship, humor

Prompts/suggestions:

Richard comforting Jared;

pirate AU;

I just really like established relationship… when the characters know each other really well, when they have their own shared stories, jokes etc;

For the Ed Chambers ship – maybe something using that whole “Richard trying to be alpha” storyline from 6x04

Content weaknesses: any hints of Gavin/Richard

Content limits: Omegaverse, mpreg, hardcore violence, unusual specific kinky stuff like that. And fluff. Cuteness is cute, but in ships it often makes me cringe, sorry *covering eyes with hands* Tenderness though! Tenderness is good. Good Shit™

Anything else you want to share with your gift creator? Tbh I just want you to have fun doing this! So I hope you do (have fun I mean) :)

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 7 ///

First choice of ship: Dinesh / Gilfoyle

Second choice of ship: Big Head / Jian-Yang

Additional ships: Jared / Richard

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? No.

Content preferences: Hurt/comfort, angst.

Prompts/suggestions: Season six.

Content weaknesses: None

Content limits: None

-----------------------

/// PROMPT 8 ///

First choice of ship: Dinesh/Gilfoyle/Monica

Second choice of ship: Gilfoyle/Monica

Additional ships: Big Head/Jian-Yang

Do you have rating preferences out of the following: general (no age restriction); teen and up; mature; explicit? Any is fine

Content preferences: Any as long as there’s a touch of comedy in there.

Prompts/suggestions: Depending on pairing, some ideas:

Monica wants to try something new, Gilfoyle is into compersion, and Dinesh is into … well, Gilfoyle, mainly, but hey, Monica is kind of hot. So they get together and do a little experimenting.

5 times someone found out about Gilfoyle and Monica when they were trying very hard to hide it, and once time they told everyone. Bonus points for the 5 times being a range of reactions from turned on to disgusted, with a lot of astonishment thrown in.

Jian Yang moves back from China and everyone else moves out, so it’s just him and Big Head, chillin’ out, playing some games, shooting some cans, hooking up and kind of digging each other’s radically different vibe, like, a lot.

Or whatever the author has in mind for those pairings, I’m easy!

Content weaknesses: N/A

Content limits: N/A

[retrauxpunk]

Hi, so trouble sleeping? Let's SV headcanon/brainstorm. If you we're able to wave your magic wand, how would you fix the current clusterfuck aka s6ep4?

hello! i love this ask! i didn’t get to it before getting to sleep but i’m currently extremely sleepy at work so good enough.

ok so. from a narrative/tv perspective i actually don’t think 6.04 was a clusterfuck, i enjoyed it and thought it was good. but in terms of what’s happening to everyone and my emotions during it, absolute clusterfuck. here is what i will do with my magic wand (i interpret this as ‘fuck plausibility and do whatever’):

get jared into really good therapy and have him realise his parents are garbage monsters who ain’t worth shit. he tells richard. richard is supportive and good about it. dinesh and gilfoyle find out too (maybe walking into the conversation by accident?). gilfoyle doesn’t have a big reaction but he does use his hax0r skillz to wreak absolute havoc with their lives e.g. robbing them of their fortune and giving the money to jared in a[n apparently] legally ironclad, untraceable manner. basically making them fucking miserable because they’re cunts.

have jared and holden have a heart-to-heart and reconcile, with jared apologising for being a massive prick, and holden deciding/realising that actually what he wants with his life is not to work with pied piper/richard at all and so he gets a fat severance package and disappears to be an artist or whatever

richard and dinesh succeed in becoming more alpha but in like a nuanced healthy acceptable way, rather than by relying on this fucking deranged video (which i’m not saying would yield inherently harmful results, but doesn’t seem explicitly healthy/reliable either)

richard and jared make up and both realise at the same time that they are basically in love with each other and begin the epic romance they deserve, and also work out their shit

at one point (or several points; let’s face it, several) there’s some alpha!richard x ed chambers action. they fight. ed wins, obviously. they fuck. it’s glorious.

dinesh and gilfoyle realise/admit to feelings for each other and hook up, and either it’s a one time thing and then they become friends and then gilfoyle and monica get into a nice relationship OR there’s a dinfoyle long term relationship culminating in marriage of course. like with jarrich.

maximo and all his horrible brethren get locked up to suffer the rest of their natural lives

laurie bream decides what she wants with her life is to do something innocuous/non-harmful rather than use her skills in a completely amoral manner like so far

richard punches ethan in the face successfully, breaking his nose but causing no long-term damage

gavin continues to suffer humiliation, then gets into therapy and reforms and becomes a good person who no longer spreads suffering and chaos

pied piper becomes successful and stable and richard and jared are like, idk, the power couple running it. there continue to be challenges but now they have resources and wisdom that allow them to take them on in a less horribly chaotic/panicky way. there is a massive philanthropic arm to the company too.

dinfoyle honeymoon in hawaii

richard proposes to jared. when they get married donald dunn officially changes his name to jared hendricks.

everyone grows old and happy together, living out fulfilling and prosocial lives interspersed with a perfect amount of hilarity/chaos to keep things non-boring and fun

*cue green day’s minority playing over end credits*

oh and gilfoyle and john stafford become BFFs

[dineshgilfoyle]

Hi Lenny! Just wanted to share that it is unlikely that Monica x Gilfoyle will become a romantic pairing in the next season (and hopefully future ones!). Executive Producer Alec Berg has shared in an interview with Vulture that he thinks that'll be too cliche and that he wouldn't be having them head towards that direction, thankfully. I do enjoy seeing them building a cute and awkward friendship though! Glad to see others enjoy the show too :)

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[fussballmaedchen]

Dear Dinfoyle people,

I hope you are all right! I haven’t watched S5 yet (ungh!), but I’ve read a bit of what’s happening with Gilfoyle and Monica ... Do you think S6 will bring Dinesh and Gilfoyle closer again? :x