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#more sketches soon I don't know
cxffeeink · 4 months
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MORE NOLI OCS
[ ☀ ] Maybe I should do this more often--- drop like a somewhat colored sketch and then a BUNCH of sketches
Anyway !! On your right would be Marisol Dimayuga and potential love interest, Phillip Escheverria ( they make my heart hurt but more on that later. soon ), I know my anatomy is really wonky--- I find it funny how I sketched most of these in school
[ 🍂 ] THINGS YOU MUST KNOW
Marisol's parents are Elias and Salome Dimayuga ( Elias took Salome's last name because of all the tragedy surrounding his family--- he believed it was ill luck + Salome has a surname from Batangas despite being from Mindoro because her father was from the first province teehee + you can see how much time I spent thinking about this )
Marisol is canonically SIX FEET AND ABOUT NINE INCHES TALL. It's even funnier to think about because there is a certain rumor in San Diego ( there are far too many about her small family to count, from her father being a bandit to her mother being a sorceress from the islands--- she isn't entirely sure which are false ) stating that Marisol is really just a giant and her mother is a goddess or something ( in Filipino folklore, I think humans and deities make giants, which I found super interesting )
she is into art and hyper-realism while sketching + she prefers charcoals and pencils over paint but will make an exception with oil paint, PLUS she is very good at math + carrying stuff around and doing "heavy" chores
she has a sort of ghostly connection w her aunt, Elias's twin sister--- she often sees her ghost hanging around the house with a bout of roses growing in her chest it's spooky
she loves her parents, her brother Amihan, and the friendship she finds with Victoria Ibarra and her siblings ( they make me so 💕💕💕 )
I'LL STOP YAPPING NOW BUT YEAH HUAHAHAHAHA
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moonstruckhaze · 3 months
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during work yesterday I had the thought that Satoko is the more likely sibling to want kids, and then the image of early-to-mid 20s Sasaki hanging out with said kid would not leave my mind...
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ame-to-ame · 3 months
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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abeinginsand · 1 year
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Sorry for constantly sketching stuff instead of lining and coloring, it will happen again though
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rainbow-burst · 7 months
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I being so fucking normal about this fit on him rn I'm beingsofuckingnormal I'm beingsofuckin nor-
#you have no idea how fucking long I've been drooling crying begging and just screaming for them to do a Lost boy kill count#like I just watched the podcast maybe like a week ago and I'm just like rocking back and forth on my bed like they're going to post a video#<--real soon#and oh my God I watched the video of the kill count in there's so many things I wish they talked about on there but I'm grateful to get it#they did talk about the sequels and.....ekkkk... I mean it's only based off of high demand so let's hope to God no one talks about it#or send any emails for them I mean if they talk about the remake that's fine I haven't really seen that one I know Sebastian stan is in it#oh my God I feel like I'm about to be so fucking annoying about the movie again I think I'm going to just start posting random shit about it#also lately I've been more happy to be posting and drawing again than usual#so I might be back on doodling and drawing random shit or actually I've been having more confidence in myself to start posting doodles#why do I bring that up because oh I don't know...wink wonk 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤗🤗 😉😉😉😉😜😜😜#my laptop kind of sucks now so I'm going to buy a new one probably this month or next month so I'll be drawing and posting doodles#I'm also thinking about posting some of my recent sketches I have in my notebook but don't expect any Picasso or Vince Van Gogh for me#I know I'm good but like I'm not that good lol im jking kinda sorta maybe not relaly okay yeaj am BUT!!!#I feel like I'm back on my drawing shit again and if I don't finish your drawing I'll just still post it because why the fuck not I'm young#let's fuck around and have some fun why not huh#man I can't believe I'm actually really rambling here but yeah I'm happy to say that I'm going to be back on my stupid shit ❤️#kill count
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cak31ssuperi04 · 2 years
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1bitJanuary Day 6- favorite ship
It's Izuchi/Sagara btw Kirai doesn't have anything to do with this.
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Month 4, day 6. I think this guy just told me something about himself. Not his name, no, because that would be useful information, but instead I... think he might be Rheddig? Idk I just wanted to see what would happen if I gave him a Rheddig soldier helmet and then things just started kind of clicking into place. ...so yeah, um, was not expecting that XD
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keeps-ache · 4 months
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i may be be wanting in physical prowess. but with the weight of 50000 wips i can defeat anyone who dares challenge me!!
#just me hi#i have like 5 canvases open i feel like i'm on a carousel that just keeps getting wider at the base Lmaoo#if i try to get off it's going to get wider again or i'm going to fall through that ominous lookin chasm that separates it from the rest of#the ground. so i shall sit on my chipped horse hfbshfs#//help my artistic vision requires more work than i was mentally prepped for fbvhsfbv#usually i know exactly how much energy a piece is going to need and pace + compensate as i need. but i was not ready this time hfsh#turns out when you add things to a piece. it means you have to. add things to the piece. it's crazy out here man#it's not even like the colours or shading are kicking my azz‚ that's just the usual and we live laugh love like that. but i did not foresee#the INKS getting me. the betrayal. the utter‚ utter betrayal lol#i thought we were friends!! but alas‚ in my time of need they pulled the rug and then spritzed me with water. just a travesty all#around hfbvhs#//oh also that cowboy au i mentioned some while ago is making a comeback on my brain lmao :)#unfortunately the piece i am working on for that is barely out of the Mist Stage and i need to draw a fence because it's prominent in the#piece. so i am not expecting it to be finished anytime soon unless god strikes me with one of those moments of inspiration so clear and#distinct i get it done in like 4 hours Lol#<- one of my favorite kind of things hfsh - except for the Consequences. i don't like those lmao#it really is like every status effect on the planet t-boning you over and over again until you scratch each one off the list hfshbh#//anywho i need to figure out this sketch situation#i'm getting better at wings!! unfortunately that means i am also worse at them Bhfshf#so. toodles .w./
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luvyeni · 2 months
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YOU CATCHING THE BOUQUET 𖹭 스트레이키즈 ( reaction ) !
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genre fluff 𖹭 warning nothing pairing — OT8 x fem reader | back to library .
— stray kids reaction to when you catch the bouquet at a wedding ...
request. skz! Reaction when ur at a wedding and u catch the bouquet? saw someone do it with enhypen and I was immediately intrigued.
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𐙚 : BANGCHAN ֶָ֢ !
He watched you catch it, the bride telling you to get ready for your wedding; his entire neck up to his ears turning red, smiling down at the ground shyly ( I love his shy smile ). the entire night he's thinking about it, how his married life would be with you, and it all seemed perfect in his head. he probably will bring it up a few days later casually, both of you just sitting on the couch when he turns to you. "what do you think about getting married?"
𐙚 : LEE KNOW ֶָ֢ !
smirking ; he just wants to tease you. "you practically threw that girl to the ground to get them." he tapped your pouty lips. "hey." you tried to defend yourself. "you tryna tell me something?" he knows that getting married is not on your list for right now , but you do want to get married. "you finally ready?" he said dancing with you. " maybe in a few more years , not now." he nodded , he's ready whenever you are.
𐙚 : CHANGBIN ֶָ֢ !
oh so you want to get married? cause he's sure the man who officiated the current bride and grooms wedding was still around; if he paid good money he'd do it, changbin just needs your word and he'll leave this wedding right now and go get a ring, that's how serious he is about this shit, you have to take his hands into yours to calm him down. "so when are we doing this, just give me the word?" he's already calculating the prices in his head for your honeymoon. "definitely not today so calm down baby."
𐙚 : HYUNJIN ֶָ֢ !
all our lover boy hears is wedding bells the moment the flowers touch your hands , he can picture the wedding. you don't even notice it , someone points it out. "you might want to go tell lover boy over there he's in public and everyone can see him sketching out your wedding plans on that name card." you turn to find your man in his own world writing down something , you smile, walking over to him. "what you writing?" "our future vows." you furrowed your eye brows. "hyune." you slapped his shoulders. "do you really want to get married?" you asked. "of course." he said. "even if it's in 5 years , it's you I want to marry."
𐙚 : HAN JISUNG ֶָ֢ !
he didn't know what happened; until people started coming to him saying "get ready" or "good luck" — poor jisung was so confused; until he saw you holding the bouquet of flowers in your hand while you talked to friends. every single question went through his head. 'does she want to get married?' 'is this a sign' he didn't even know if he should bring it up; you saw him standing there in his head , and you went up to him, kissing his lips. "don't think too hard into it love , we're not getting married anytime soon."
𐙚 : FELIX ֶָ֢ !
whether you agree with it or not; felix reminds me of the type to propose at someone else's wedding— but this isn't about that. seeing you excitedly catch the flowers, looking at him with a smile, he took that as 'yup she wants to get married' so when he gets you alone , he pops the question; yes the question. "marry me." he said. "Huh?" You asked. "Not now of course, but soon; marry me." you didn't want to cry to take away attention from the bride. "o-okay." You kissed him. "let's get married." i said he was the type to ask at a wedding, not that he'd take away attention from the bride and groom, you'd announce it weeks after the wedding.
𐙚 : SEUNGMIN ֶָ֢ !
you've ever seen a video of him just freezing up all confused mouth hung open, that's it; for the first time in his life he was shocked. "aren't we supposed to get married now?" You teased him, handing him the bouquet. "where's my ring pup?" he quickly snapped back into reality, his friends slapping his shoulders teasingly. "please , I'm not that stupid, she doesn't want to get married yet." he's still gonna ask you about it, he doesn't want you to think he's over looking it. "when are you gonna force me to marry you?" he says trying to be cool. "who says i want to marry you." you teased back, both of you ending up just smiling at each other. "who else would I marry?" "your right who else would you marry?" you know it won't be anytime soon , but you know you won't be marrying anyone else.
𐙚 : JEONGIN ֶָ֢ !
another confused one; like you were eager as hell to catch those damn flowers , were you ready to get married? you both were so young and he loved you and with time he wouldn't mind talking about it with you, but right now he wasn't ready. he genuinely wanted to ask you, so he waited until you got home , subtly bringing up the topic. "you don't want to get married yet?" he would ask. "what?" "married , earlier you were so happy about catching the flowers." you smirked. "Do you not want to marry me?" he began to trip over his words, making you laugh. "innie please." You calmed him down. "of course I want to get married , but not now , we're so young." he sighed. "You were so happy." "because the girl in front of me kept pushing me out the way, I was happy i got it, the look on her face still makes me smile."
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©️LUVYENI
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dadsbongos · 3 months
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5 times laios almost says he loves you + 1 time he does
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2 k words / warnings - momentary lead up to smut (foreplay/roleplay), modern au w fantasy elements
summary - laios wants to tell you he loves you, but keeps getting interrupted.
~~~
When Laios was a kid, he'd imagined a tri-headed beast crossbred from reptiles, mammals, and birds attacking all his problems. Recently, that image has been… tweaked…
Now when he's afflicted by demeaning nightmares or stiff social situations, the power he summons to crush all which is dark sided is, surprisingly, a human.
A mere person.
His partner.
Every time you appear in his dream, Laios wakes up in a massively good mood. Whenever Laios pictures you over the unpleasant sight of strangers, he can suddenly bear unwelcome conversation. Whenever Laios so much as spots you, his whole day elevates -- swirling into something brighter and sweeter. Misery to melon juice, he’s absolute goo as soon as you’re in the room.
And everybody except him knows what his deal is. Similarly, they know it’ll take a miserably long while before he can spit it out.
the time where you’re naked
“I wanna learn human anatomy, can you pose nude for me?”
You choke on your water, trying to laugh off the awkward question with a couple chest-pats, “Can't you just look at porn for that stuff? I don't mind, you know?”
“Nah, I wanna draw you.”
“Oh! Uh, okay…” you cross the floor, drawing the curtains to your living room before stiffly beginning to disrobe, “Like… right now?”
“Mhm,” Laios nods excitedly.
“‘kay then.”
Sweat practically oozes down Laios’ forehead, shoulders knotted towards his jaw as he obsessively studies each roll and dip along your body. Trying to copy you down on sketch paper that’s now marred with charcoal and eraser strokes. Drawing has never been something Laios cared to prove himself for, he knows what he’s skilled with and doesn’t fret over what he isn’t. Until now, now he feels the utmost need to prove himself.
To prove how devoted he is to perfecting your body on paper because how else will his adoration be known?
Because trust: he does adore your body. So pretty. And tender. And so very welcoming to him, just like you. Laios adores your personality more than your body -- you’re nice and funny and understanding and, most importantly, you like him. You seriously like him. His rants about monsters, his social ineptitude, his shameless nature: you’re verily into all of it.
And, in turn, he’s into you. He’s so into you it makes him want to choke himself in excitement whenever you lock eyes.
He’s so into you he thinks he loves you.
Laios pauses mid stroke on your thigh: it’s a little skinnier than the fleshy counterpart. So he erases again and lets the realization fizz over him slowly.
He definitely loves you. Unfortunately the sudden thought makes him so emotional he’s tearing up.
the time you’re on a date
Flickering overhead fluorescents are hideously unflattering to customers and staff alike at the diner. Not you, though. Somehow you make them work, even though everytime Laios catches his reflection in a window he looks absolutely ghoulish. The pale wash of sickly light almost makes you seem like a varnished painting.
You’re not even aware of his obsessing, too busy scanning the menu, “I’m looking at the breakfast for dinner options, but I dunno what I want…”
Laios wants you, and he figures the best way to get it out is just saying it.
“I lo- !” he’s silenced by a woman cheerfully greeting the both of you.
Her broad grin tackles him like a personal slight.
“So, what can I get started for you guys?”
Laios swallows his frustration with a wash of chilled water, letting the rhythm of your voice soothe him. Now the mood is ruined. Too stuffy with this onlooker.
Oh, well, he sighs quietly before ordering his own dish; paying no mind to how the server silently questions his moody demeanor.
There’s always more chances.
the time where you’re naked pt. 2
When you’re genuinely asleep, your lashes consistently flutter against your cheeks with each jerk beneath your eyelids. Your lips are parted to let air puff between, and usually you’ll curl your arms towards your chest -- which Laios finds so cute it makes him want to bite you. Sweetly, of course. Not enough to draw blood, unless you say he can.
Either way, he’s fully aware you’re not really sleeping. Which he considers preferable since the secondary act of roleplay doesn’t work if you aren’t awake.
Suddenly, you roll onto your stomach and stretch along the bed -- perking your ass up with a faux drowsy mumble. Laios can register you’re trying to spur him on, a more emotional exhaustion gnawing your spirit the longer he goes without touching you.
Laios has never been able to fanatically explain Incubi mating before he met you (well: he skimmed through it with Kabru, but that didn’t feel impactful), and furthermore, he’s never been able to act it out. Nobody before you seemed the type to accept his interest in portraying a sleeping body about to be bred by an Incubus.
Nobody before you is even worth remembering, Laios steps forward with fingers trailing up the bed and teasing your ankle. Mouth opening, he’s gearing up to confess when suddenly a voice not his own breaks the scene first:
“Laios, please,” you mutter, pouting so adorably he feels like his chest is about to explode, “I don’t wanna be mean, but I need you to hurry it up.”
“Now we have to restart,” Laios steps back until he’s pressed against the bedroom door, “Okay, I’ll go faster this time,” then he grins, “That’ll be even more realistic if I rush in! You’re so smart!”
By the time Laios re-enters the room, his confliction of pure love has been stifled in favor of lust.
the time you’re out with friends
Earplugs are snug in Laios’ ears, cushy and pressing against every crevice of his ear, as he slouches into the booth across from Senshi. He’s sliding a mug of beer from hand-to-hand, leaving a condensation trail along the shiny veneer of the table. Beside him is a gaping hole he laments, belonging to you, as does the margarita saucer. Melting ice chips and an olive Laios promised to eat are the only remnants of your drink.
Otherwise, it all seems to be pumping through you like hot blood. A beaming grin alight on your face as you and Chilchuck bounce around each other on the dance floor. You’re holding hands in the cramped throng of guests so as to not lose each other, and Laios shocked Marcille by not getting the least bit jealous.
“I trust them,” he reasoned, “It’s not like I’m the only person allowed to touch their hands now.”
Not that he’d like to be, either. Laios thinks everyone should touch your hand at least once: it’s soft and warm and you’ve got the perfect grip strength. Just holding your hand makes Laios want to be a better, more upstanding citizen that votes and volunteers. That sort of inspiring spirit is something he couldn’t dream of caging.
You’re like a human morphine injection confounded with pure sunlight, and Laios is already a baked sucker.
“Don’t wanna join?” Senshi slides along the black leather seat until he’s squeezed out from their booth, “You won’t be so young forever, you know? Best to take advantage while you can.”
Laios can barely make out what his friend says, combining muffled gibberish with the shape his lips made and praying he’s assumed correct, “I like just watching them.”
Senshi’s gaze follows Laios’ pointing, he nods slowly and pitters off with another few mumbles.
Laios cannot handle anything outside the safety of your group’s booth. Music too loud and air too hot the further he crawls along the dance floor, so he leaves that to you. And Chilchuck. But mostly you.
Life has many opportunities for him to sway with you to music: in your shared apartment, at friends’ weddings, and fairs. He can handle not taking this particular once to dance with you, and besides just watching is enough.
He whispers affection into the club, naturally you catch none of what he says.
the time where you’re naked pt. 3
Your nails scratch over Laios’ scalp, rinsing bubbles from between sandy strands of hair. His head is tilted, neck beginning to ache from the angle as you finish scrubbing his hair clean. Fingers snatch him by the chin, forcing his head back until water is trailing down his spine and shaking out his head with finality.
“There,” you push onto your toes to kiss his cheek, making him hurry to stabilize you by snagging your hips, “All clean!”
“Thanks,” Laios fails to release you, instead letting you spin in his hands towards the wall for your body wash -- the brand he bought you for your birthday once and you always kept going back to.
“If you’re gonna keep groping me, wash my back, yeah?”
“I’m not groping,” Laios protests weakly, frowning at the perverse accusation. Though he doesn’t pause before uncapping your soap and squirting a heap into his palm, then yours when you hold your hand out expectantly.
You scale down your legs, from the inside of your thighs to your shins as Laios lathers your back. He shifts a step aside to let water coax soap foam down the curve of your spine. Then he’s stepping back entirely, eyes lingering inappropriately. If he was able to die staring at you, then he’d take that certainty in a heartbeat.
Now, right? Now is the perfect time for him to get it all out there. Nobody else is in your apartment. It's domestic and quiet and so, so peaceful.
“Hey,” he calls over the thrumming showerhead, and you hum sweetly in reply, “I lo- !” he bravely takes another step, a lost bar of soap slotting perfectly under the arch of his foot, “Fuck!”
“Huh?” you turn in time to gasp as Laios tumbles forward. Yanking down the shower curtain in a feeble attempt to catch himself before his skull thuds loudly against the tile wall, “Oh my God, Laios!”
His body collapses against the wall before limply sinking into the shallow tub. Your petrified face blurring out in favor of deep,
rich
black.
+1 - the time Laios had a head injury
“Can you see straight? How many fingers am I holding up?”
Laios smiles at your flagrant concern, enveloping your shaky hand with his own and bringing it toward his thigh -- still damp from the shower and barely covered by the boxers you hastily dressed him with, “I can see fine. Let’s leave the doctors to do the testing stuff.”
“I thought you were done for! I was so scared,” you don’t fare much better than Laios in the clothing department: shorts he knows are his wrapped around your waist, and shirts clinging uncomfortably to both your wet bodies.
“Aw,” he coos, leaning closer to peck your cheek, “I wouldn’t go down from a hit like that. My head’s a lot sturdier than some shower wall.”
“I know, but still! How terrifying, you just- !” you slap a hand against your thigh, “Boom!”
“Well, you got me to the hospital pretty fast,” Laios squeezes his hand around yours, “So even if I was dying -- which I wasn’t -- I definitely would’ve lived with how fast you were going.”
“I almost didn’t dress us, and then I spent the whole time you were asleep wondering if I got you killed by wasting the time.”
“Like I said, I wouldn’t die like that,” he shrugs, “I can’t die before I tell you I love you.”
“Huh?!”
“I love you, by the way,” he sighs, a hand splayed over his chest with apparent relief, “Now I can die.”
You laugh, head throwing back in glee before you can catch your breath, then patting his thigh with a smile, “No, you can’t die. Because I love you too, so you can’t just die on me.”
Laios’ cheeks flush, he nods curtly, “Cool.”
“Cool?”
“I spent so long trying to get it out that I never planned what to say when you told me you loved me back.”
Laios is so cute you want to bite him in half, and you’re unbelievably relieved to hear he feels the same.
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scarletlizzard · 4 months
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Inked Desires - Part 3
(Part 1) (Part 2)
Pairing: gp!Natasha × fem!Reader
Tags Minors DNI: natasha has a dick, miscommunication, unprotected sex, breeding, cheesy shit
Masterlist
A/n: Thank you to everyone who stuck around for this part, and thank you for 1,000 followers! 🥳 There are no more parts to this, but I do have some drabbles I'd like to write for it if y'all are interested 🫶 Please leave some feedback, and thank you again for reading ❤️
Art Creds for the first 2 pics: @sweet--escape17 (Please go check out their art, it's amazing!)
Also, shoutout: @oolsen (Thanks for helping me with the plot when I get stuck!)
****
Your eyes glaze over as you stare at the screen of your phone, looking at the same messages that had been sitting in your conversation with Natasha for the past week. You replay the events from the last night you saw her at Joe's bar, wondering where you went wrong. An entire week, gone, and not a single text. No 'Good Morning'. No 'Have a great day'. No ridiculous smiling emojis attached to an even more ridiculous joke. Instead, a one-sided conversation with yourself:
Y/N: I had so much fun last night!
Y/N: Have a good day, baby <3
Y/N: Maybe we can get together soon? Kate told me about a fair happening nearby next weekend. I think that might be fun!
Y/N: Hey, is everything okay?
It wasn't like Natasha to not text you back. The two of you had practically talked every day since meeting, and when you hadn't, she always had a good reason for not replying. Most of the time, it had been you that was too busy to text back... but now the quietness of the empty chat in the palm of your hand allowed an eerie loneliness to seep into your chest, along with a feeling of guilt.
***
"Come on, it'll be fun! " Kates voice rings in your ear from your phone. A sigh spills from your lips as you shake your head, knowing she can't see you.
"I don't know, I'm just not really in the mood..." You mumble into the speaker and silently thank the man who opens the door for you. The smell of freshly brewed coffee enters your nose, a small sense of comfort filling the cracks in your chest.
"Well, you don't really have a choice. You already know I'm dragging you with me... Plus, you can't be in a bad mood when you're eating caramel popcorn," You can practically see the grin on Kates face, knowing how much you loved the simple fair treat. You can also hear movement from the other side of the phone, raising an eyebrow as Kate shuffles around.
"Alright then, fine. Only for the popcorn," you sigh again as Kate cheers. She tells you goodbye as you walk up to the counter to order your usual latte. You pay and move to the opposite side of the counter to await your drink, when you spot a familiar red head in the corner.
Your eyes widen, chest bursting at the sight of Natasha. The feelings hit you all at once, guilt, anger, confusion. Overwhelmingly at the top, happiness. Her brows pull together in concentration at the paper, headphones rest atop her head as she sketches away in a notebook. Her short sleeve shirt reveals her inked skin, and you feel the familiar desire for her all over again.
You give yourself a second longer to stare, a second longer to mentally prepare yourself for what you want to say. Where have you been? Why haven't you texted me back? But as you step closer to the table, and her kind green eyes move away from the paper and to your not so composed stature, your mind seemingly empties.
"Hi," you say with a small smile after she removes her headphones. Natasha clears her throat awkwardly. You want to kiss her red cheeks.
"Y/N, hey," the smile she gives you back doesn't seem genuine, causing your own to fade.
"I've texted you a few times. Is... everything okay?" You ask, a small tilt of your head.
"Um, yeah, you know. I've just been busy?" She avoids your eyes, her body language distant as she crosses her arms with a shrug. You glimpse at the notebook open on the table, an intricate design of lines and shapes, before she closes it abruptly. "I actually have to get to work," Natasha sighs and throws the notebook and pencils into her bag. You don't miss the fact she's not wearing her work shirt.
"Right." You click your tongue as she stands, the tension in the air killing both of you.
As badly as Natasha wanted to pull you into her arms and kiss the worry off of your face, she couldn't. She couldn't deal with the fact she wanted more and that it was reciprocated. She couldn't deal with the fact that she wanted late night talks and laughs, while assuming you only wanted late night hookups. She couldn't deal with the fact that she liked you more than she thought she would, while assuming your interest in her was not on the same level.
"Look, can we talk?" Your soft tone surprises her as she stands, her tall frame towering over you. "Maybe tomorrow we can get together and just... talk. Huh, baby?" The term of endearment slips your tongue, and in a last ditch effort, your hand reaches out to softly touch her bicep.
Natasha finally meets your eyes again, and the two of you still for a moment, the coffee shop fading around you. She almost gives into you once again. She was weak against you. You feel her muscles tense in your grip, and the sound of your name being called by the barista takes her attention away from you. She takes a step backward and pulls on her pierced lip with her teeth.
"I uh, I'm hanging out with Yelena tomorrow," she rubs the back of her neck, attempting to sooth her nerves. You only stare up at her, feeling defeated. "Maybe next time."
You frown up at her, the feelings of confusion and anger rising to the surface as she refuses to look you in the eyes. "Sure. Next time."
Natasha opens her mouth to speak again, but no words come out. Instead, she turns her back to you and walks away, leaving you behind.
***
The next day, you found yourself once again staring at the empty conversation on your phone. You had typed up a million different messages, none of them sounding good enough to send. All night, you had tried to come up with the words to say to her. Ranging from paragraphs of you confessing your feelings to a simple, 'Hey, I like you. What are we doing?'
She had said she wanted more, didn't she? Why were you suddenly getting the cold shoulder?
You sigh aloud as you walk into your apartment building, calling Kate for the fourth time since you got off work early. In a rush this morning, you had forgotten your key, and you desperately hoped she was still there to let you in. Trudging slowly up the stairs, you get her voicemail - again.
As you walk up to the familiar sight of your door you knock hard, "Bishop, you'd better have a good fucking reason for not answering my calls," you joke and continue banging on the door. The lock clicks, and the door swings open. "I'm so glad you're home I-" you stop mid sentence, a now unfamiliar sight standing before you.
"Kate saw she had missed calls from you, I think she's hiding," Yelena laughs and steps back inside the apartment as you walk in behind her.
"Yelena.. I- what are you..?" Your heart picks up for a moment, assuming Natasha would be here with her.
"Oh, Kate invited me over for a movie day," her accent is thick as she speaks, and she gives you a friendly smile. Apparently, she was unaware of the current state between you and her sister.
"Aren't you hanging out with Natasha today?" You ask with a tilt of your head. Yelena raises an eyebrow and shakes her own head.
"No?" She questions and returns to her seat on the couch amongst a pile of pillows and blankets.
Your stomach drops. Natasha had lied to you. Why would she lie to you? Your mind begins to spiral at the list of reasons as to why she would. Kate walks out from the bathroom in the hall and sees the furious expression written on your face.
"Uh.. hey, you got off early!" Kate strides across the room towards you. "Everything okay?" She asks.
"Everything's great." You give her a bitter smile, making her eyes widen. "I'm sorry to interrupt your movie day," you look behind Kate to Yelena.
"Well, maybe since you're here, we can call Natasha over?" Yelena looks back to the now wide, sarcastic smile planted on your face.
"You know what, that's actually a great idea," you mutter and walk past Kate towards Yelena, who was already grabbing her phone.
"Y/N," Kate starts, but you quickly silence her with a glare.
"Oh, she finally answers!" Yelena laughs into the speaker and looks to you, blind to the situation unfolding in front of her. "Where are you at? Of course you are, that was a stupid question. Look, I'm at Y/N and Kates, we are having a movie day! Why don't you quit working out for 2 minutes and come over?"
At Yelenas words, you quickly walk to the kitchen counter where your key rests, grabbing it. She was at the gym, of course she was. You don't need to see Yelenas face change as you hear her English switch to fluent Russian. Natasha was finally filling her in. Kate gives you a look that you ignore as you leave the apartment and prepare yourself to make the 5 minute walk to Natashas gym.
The two of you passed by it any time you hung out, always pointing out the fact it was so close to your place and how you wondered why the two of you had never met before her party. Your footsteps are heavy against the sidewalk, and you don't give yourself a second to think about your current state. Still in your work uniformed shirt and slacks, hair a mess, eyes dark underneath from lack of sleep. It didn't matter. You were set on finally confronting her.
You walk inside to see Natasha standing by the weights, an unsurprised look on her face as she watches you move swiftly amongst the workout equipment. Your heart races in your chest, an uneasy feeling as Natasha begins to tower over you the closer you get. You try your best to ignore the tight black tank top she wore, along with the tight black shorts that showed off her toned and tatted thighs. You forced yourself to look only in her eyes.
"Y/N... let me explain," Natasha begins. You roll your eyes and ignore her words, anger bursting from every crack.
"So what is this then? You're just going to fuck me in a dirty bathroom bar then ignore me? Lie to me?" It leaves your mouth faster than you can think about it. Natasha meets your gaze at the words, a hurt expression on her face. Gone are the soft eyes once reserved for you, replaced with the cold stare everyone else receives.
"Are you kidding me? That's funny coming from you, Y/N," she scoffs, tone laced with venom.
"What the fuck does that mean?" You raise your voice, watching as Natasha steps forward towards you.
"Lower your tone," she commands, looking around the gym. You suddenly feel small. "I mean, that's all you want from me, isn't it? Look, I told you I wanted more of-of this," she motions between the two of you. "You don't, and that's fine, but stop trying to text me every time you need to get off." The last part is said in spite, and you feel as if you'd been pushed back. Natasha wanted to take it back as quick as she'd said it, but maybe being harsh was what she needed to get rid of her growing feelings towards you.
"Is that what you think I am? Just some slut trying to use you?" You spit back, watching her face twist in confusion.
"I never said that, Y/N."
"No, but it's implied."
"Unless the words leave my mouth, don't you dare put them in yourself."
"Is that seriously what you think?" You huff out. She nods, standing straight and crossing her arms.
"Well, yeah?" Her voice is unsure as she looks down at you. You sigh loudly, pinching the bridge of your nose with your fingers.
"You are a fucking idiot," you say with a shake of your head. Natasha face contorts as you look back up.
"Excuse m-"
"Why do you think I text you all the time to hang out? Why I invited you to hang out with my friends ?" You ask her in a serious tone, seeing her body language soften. "You want to talk about putting words in mouths? You don't get to say if I do or don't like you - and for your information, I do. A lot," you sigh as you finish your ramble.
"You do?" Is all she says, and you don't know if you want to slap her or kiss her.
"Of course I do.. I thought that was pretty obvious." It's your turn to cross your arms as she brings a hand up to rub her inked neck, her cheeks turning red to match the hair braided behind her.
"It's just - I thought maybe - You didn't -" She stumbles over her words, suddenly with a nervous demeanor.
Natasha wasn't prepared for this. She was prepared for an argument and then to never see you again. She hadn't given it a thought that you actually did reciprocate those feelings. And now here you were standing before her, in her mind, looking as beautiful as ever. She was putty, again.
"You didn't say anything that night back, so I just assumed.." her voice is soft to match her eyes, and you feel that guilt again, seeping out of you.
"Baby.. I'm so sorry. It was only because I was so excited that you felt the same way I did, I didn't know what to say," you reply just as soft and step forward. Natashas eyes spark with life at the use of her favorite word, leaving your lips, and her arm instinctively flexes as you touch her forearm. "Maybe next time, give a girl a moment to gather her thoughts?" You say with a small smile. Your heart leaps at the smile that spreads across her lips.
There's a moment of silence between the two of you, and just like before, the world seems to quiet and blur around you.
"Hi," Natasha chuckles, and you roll your eyes at the familiar game.
"Hi," You giggle back and reach up to cup her cheek. She leans down with a strong hand resting on your hip, lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss.
The two of your pull apart, but her large hand continues to rest on your side as you stand in front of her, now letting your eyes admire her toned muscles that were on display. The black lines on her skin move with every flex in her arm.
"Tell me more about this fair... will there be caramel popcorn?" Natasha asks. Your eyes shoot quickly up to hers as a warmth spreads through your chest.
You hadn't told her about your love for the snack. You lean up and kiss her again, ignoring the confused look on her face and letting yourself melt against her.
***
Lights of all colors of the rainbow seemed to flash around you. The sounds of laughter and screaming of people on the rides filled your ears. Your eyes search the area around you, watching as couples and families walk from stand to stand. A few teenagers run by, and a loud ringing and a cry of, "Winner!" catches your attention from next to you.
"Holy shit!" Kate laughs and taps your arm, showing you the brown teddy bear she won. You can't help but smile at the sight.
"Only took you about ten tries," you laugh along with her, reaching out to check out the bear. As you hand it back to her, you notice her eyes trail above your head. Then, a pair of thick arms wrap around your waist from behind. You can smell the familiar scent of the fragrance she wore.
"Well, well, what have we won?" Natasha asks from behind you. You lean back against her, smiling widely as she leans down to press a kiss to your cheek. "Pretty girl.." She mumbles in your ear, fingers tracing the material of your dress.
Things had been going great with Natasha since you talked about your miscommunication. Her morning texts returned, along with nightly chats over the phone until one of you fell asleep. She took you on dates, and you even went with her to the gym. Though, that mostly consisted of you shamelessly checking her out while she blushed gorgeously. You were happy, truly happy. One thing that had been building between the two of you was a certain... tension. The last time you both were intimate was the night at the bar. Since then, there have only been a few heavy make-out sessions and teasing between you. It seemed neither one of you wanted to be the first one to give in to those oh so familiar desires.
"Kate finally won a teddy bear, twenty dollars later," you cough out the last part jokingly and rest your hands on top of Natashas that stayed wrapped securely around you.
Kate groans and rolls her eyes playfully, "You know what? I'm not sharing him with you anymore."
You scoff, feeling Natashas chest rumble as she laughs along with Kate. "Yelena is at the ticket stand, by the way," Natasha says with a small smirk on her lips. Kates eyes widen a bit.
"Oh?" She says with a slow nod. "You know, actually, I think I need some more tickets!" Kate pats her pockets innocently with a shrug and gives you a smile. "Meet you later?" She asks, and you give her nod before she walks away.
Turning in Natashas arms, you finally get a good look at her, and you could drool at the sight of her in her white shirt and blue jeans. Just as always, you can see the pops of color peaking out from the seams, dark lines visible through the thin fabric. Her crooked smile lets a chuckle slip through.
"Alright?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as you continue to gawk at her.
"More than alright," you clear your throat and step back, letting your hand take hers. "Now, are you going to win me a teddy bear, or do I have to do it myself?" You poke her side, and she laughs.
"Step aside, I've got this," Natasha leans down to kiss your forehead, taking out her wallet and handing money to the man in charge of the booth.
"Three shots to knock down the bottles, and it's all yours!" He cheers loudly to gain the attention of others, showing off the teddy bear in question. Natasha takes the ball in her hand, and your eyes are glued to her broad shoulders as she winds up. She throws the ball, missing completely.
"That was just a warm-up," she turns back to look at you, clearing her throat. You stiffle a laugh and purse your lips, nodding.
"Of course, baby! Just a warm-up."
"Two more shots!" The man cries.
Natashas gaze changes from playful to pure concentration, eyes focused intently on the stacked bottles in front of her. She throws again, this time knocking two of the three bottles down. You can't help but let out a giggle this time at the proud expression on her face as she turns to you once more.
"One shot, and it's all yours!" He says loudly, shaking the bear next to her.
"Piece of cake," Natasha says with a laugh. She takes the last ball and winds up again, only to miss completely.
"Ohh, out of luck!" He says with a shrug and moves away. "Who's next?" He yells.
Natasha turns to you with red cheeks, "So maybe I'm not so good at this?" She rubs the back of her neck, and you only shake your head.
"Step aside," you repeat her own words to her, brushing against her as you hand the man money. He goes through his same shpiel and hands you a ball. Only when you go to throw it, the ball hits the bottles perfectly. All three go down instantly.
"Winner!" He yells loudly, handing you the stuffed bear. You smile widley as you take it and return to Natasha, a stunned look on her face.
"But.. how did you.." She shakes her head.
"Here you go, princess," you tease and hand her the bear, giggling as she rolls her eyes but accepts it.
"Alright now, at least let me buy you some popcorn," Natasha laughs along with you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walk.
The two of you spend the next couple of hours riding the carnival rides the fair had to offer, walking around aimlessly, laughing and smiling, teasing each other. You had never felt happier. As you stand there, finally eating your favorite sweet treat, you look at Natasha stood next to you, the sight making you smile. You take out your phone and step back, ignoring the questioning look from her and snap a picture.
You giggle at the image you got of her, the stark contrast of her heavily tattooed and pierced body whilst standing there holding a teddy bear and a box of popcorn was a sight to behold.
"What was that for?" She raises an eyebrow, trying to look at the picture you took.
"Nothing, I just wanted a good memory of this," you smile and put your phone back in your pocket quickly, grabbing another handful of the caramel popcorn. Natasha smiles back. Before she can say anything, a raindrop hits her face.
"What the -" She starts, looking up at the dark night sky. The drops start coming faster, hitting harder as the rain begins to pour. All around you, people begin walking quickly to canopies, attempting to stay dry. "Come on," she says and grabs your hand.
The two of you make your way through the crowds of people, rain pouring down as she leads you out of the fairgrounds. The bright lights and loud music begin to fade as you run behind her, seeing her car just across the lot. Once you reach it, Natasha opens the passenger door for you.
The small act has you swooning as she stands there, waiting with a smile for you to get in. That even in the pouring rain, she was just the type of person to open the door for you. Instead of moving past her, you reach up to take her face in your hands, stepping on your tiptoes to kiss her.
The darkness is thick around the two of you, rain drowning out any nearby sounds. Natashas hands move from the door to wrap around your back, letting you down on your feet as she leans down to deepen the kiss. The cold rain is unforgiving as you melt into each other. A shiver runs through your body as her tongue slips in your mouth, a groan leaving your throat as the two halves spread to engulf your own. At your shiver, she pulls away breathlessly.
"We should get in," she utters against your lips. You nod feverishly.
"Backseat," you say, earning a groan from Natasha. She quickly pulls you away and opens the back door, letting you climb in. She follows behind, and as soon as the door is shut, you are climbing into her lap, lips colliding with hers again. The kiss is messy, tongues sloppily licking at eachothers mouths as you make out.
"Do you have any idea how crazy you drive me?" Natasha moans as your lips travel to her neck, her chest rising and falling rapidly with every nip. At her words, you grind your hips down in her lap, feeling her growing bulge. "F-fuck," she whimpers, bucking her hips up as you grind against her. "I need to be inside you, now," she groans. Her large hands move to your thighs, lifting your dress above your hips.
"Desperate, are we?" You purr, bitting down hard against her neck. She moans and nods, letting one of her hands move up to grip your jaw.
"Y/n," the soft look in her eyes is replaced with dark lust. "I need to fuck you. Now," she reiterates, grip on your jaw tight. Her thumb slips into your mouth, and as you suck on the digit she moans.
Your hands move to the bottom of her shirt, lifting the heavy, wet fabric over her head, along with her bra. Your fingers trace the tattoos that litter her collarbone, nails scratching lightly. You couldn't deny you were just as desperate for her. Natasha lets you up slightly to undo her jeans, pulling them down past her knees along with her underwear. She winces as you return to your previous position in her lap, hard cock rubbing against your still clothed pussy. She could feel you soaking through the thin material.
"God, I've missed this," you mumble as her lips reconnect with yours. You feel her fingers pull your underwear to the side, the tip of her cock rubbing against your aching cunt. Your hips hover over her length before slowly taking in a few inches.
The two of you moan loudly in the small car at the feeling, windows already fogged from your breathy groans.
"My pretty girl.. fuck," Natasha hisses as you lower yourself all the way down, feeling her thick cock stretching you out completely. "You were just made to take me," she moans again, hands resting on your hips. Your hands grip onto her shoulders, nails digging into the side of her neck. Her hands guide your hips to move, and you begin to ride her. Your eyes screw shut as she splits you in two, euphoria filling your veins with every movement of her own hips slapping up to meet your bounces.
"Look at you riding my cock, such a good girl for me," Natasha grunts as she watches your lips part, head thrown back in pleasure. "Taking every inch, fucking yourself on me," she pants out.
The coil in your stomach was building quickly, and as your legs began to grow weak, Natasha held tightly onto your hips, thrusting up into you harshly. Your mouth met hers again, and she swallowed your moans as you kissed her. "Baby I-I'm gonna cum," you moan out, whimpering as she shakes her head.
"Hold it. You cum with me or not at all," Natashas voice is stern, and your head falls forward into her neck. Your chests press together, and you can feel the piercings on her nipples rub against your dress as her arms wrap around your back to hold you in place.
"I wanna feel you soak my cock, god just listen to your pretty cunt make those noises," she moans. You can hear your wetness with every thrust, mixing the the rain hammering onto the roof of the car. The two of you are wet, sticky, and messy. Natashas primal urges to fuck you sending you closer and closer.
"Ohh, Nat, please I need to cum! Fill me up, baby," your moans turn higher pitched and she knows you won't last any longer, and neither will she.
"That's it, pretty girl.. cum for me. That's it, soak my cock, fuck, fuck!" Natashas mouth let's out a string of curses, fucking up into you mercilessly. The coil in your stomach snaps at her words, and you feel your orgasm hit hard. You moan her name loudly, body trembling as you feel her load fill you up, your hot walls swallowing every drop. Natashas hips finally slow to a stop, and you're left limp in her arms as the two of you pant against each others skin.
"So good, so good... my pretty girl..." Natasha whispers against your neck, holding you tightly. You stay like that for a while, head resting against her shoulder and just holding onto each other. The cool piercing on her lip brushes against your skin as she peppers kisses up to your face.
You lift your head to meet her soft green eyes with a smile, feeling her fingers brush your messy, damp hair out of your face. Before Natasha can even think to say it, you open your mouth.
"Hi," you giggle, earning a breathy laugh from the red head.
"Hi," she gives you a toothy grin and kisses your head.
****
The sunlight creeps through the windows, warming your skin. It was late in the morning, when you habitually reached out to grab your phone. Your heavy eyes barely peeking open as you check the screen. For a moment, in your sleepy morning haze, you looked for a 'good morning' text, but saw none.
It was then a pair of inked arms wrap around you from behind, and you smile to yourself, feeling Natashas body wrap around you protectively.
"Good morning," she mumbles tiredly against you, breath fanning the back of your neck. You chuckle and let yourself melt back into her hold, hands holding onto her arms as you drift back to sleep.
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Beethoven - Symphony No. 5 1808
The Symphony No. 5 in C minor, Op. 67, also known as the Fate Symphony, is a symphony composed by Ludwig van Beethoven between 1804 and 1808. It is one of the best-known compositions in classical music and one of the most frequently played symphonies, and it is widely considered one of the cornerstones of western music. First performed in Vienna's Theater an der Wien in 1808, the work achieved its prodigious reputation soon afterward. E. T. A. Hoffmann described the symphony as "one of the most important works of the time". As is typical of symphonies during the Classical period, Beethoven's Fifth Symphony has four movements. It begins with a distinctive four-note "short-short-short-long" motif, often characterized as "fate knocking at the door", the Schicksals-Motiv (fate motif). The symphony, and the four-note opening motif in particular, are known worldwide, with the motif appearing frequently in popular culture, from disco versions to rock and roll covers, to uses in film and television.
The Fifth Symphony had a long development process, as Beethoven worked out the musical ideas for the work. The first "sketches" date from 1804 following the completion of the Third Symphony. It finally premiered in 22 December 1808 at a mammoth concert at the Theater an der Wien in Vienna consisting entirely of Beethoven premieres, and directed by Beethoven himself on the conductor's podium. The concert lasted for more than four hours. The two symphonies appeared on the programme in reverse order: the Sixth was played first, and the Fifth appeared in the second half.
There was little critical response to the premiere performance, which took place under adverse conditions. The orchestra did not play well - with only one rehearsal before the concert - and at one point, following a mistake by one of the performers in the Choral Fantasy, Beethoven had to stop the music and start again. The auditorium was extremely cold and the audience was exhausted by the length of the programme. However, a year and a half later, publication of the score resulted in a rapturous unsigned review (actually by music critic E. T. A. Hoffmann) in the Allgemeine musikalische Zeitung. Apart from the extravagant praise, Hoffmann devoted by far the largest part of his review to a detailed analysis of the symphony, in order to show his readers the devices Beethoven used to arouse particular affects in the listener.
Beethoven was in his mid-thirties during this time; his personal life was troubled by increasing deafness. In the world at large, the period was marked by the Napoleonic Wars, political turmoil in Austria, and the occupation of Vienna by Napoleon's troops in 1805. The symphony was written at his lodgings at the Pasqualati House in Vienna.
Symphony No. 5 received a total of 94,6% yes votes!
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deerspherestudios · 11 days
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Short Break and To Dos!
Hello all! 🍄🍄👻 I'm glad to see people enjoying Day 3 so far! I was so nervous about showing another side to Mychael in the update I thought people wouldn't like him as much but plenty have reacted positively! ❤️
I'll add a TLDR; above the read more, but if you don't mind my ramblings and want more details about everything, I'll write everything below! Light spoilers ahead!
I'll be taking a short break from MO development until 28th October to work on a short VN for the Monstrous Desires jam!
Most probably missed it, but there's a tiny small patch to Day 3 explained here.
Queue will return soon! I just gotta handle some housekeeping first with my Patreon.
Regarding the feedback on Day 3, I'm glad people aren't as averse to the new side of Mychael, in that he isn't always soft and sweet. I want people to fall in love with a person after all, not a yandere caricature, and that means that person can get upset, angry and sometimes irrational when we don't know what's going on in their head even towards the subject of their affections. While some (understandably!) were shocked about his reaction to the mushrooms, it'll be clear as to why (hopefully!)
Some of you have given incredibly accurate theories, and I'll take that as something I've done well in building up the mystery!!! I'm excited to share more in the next update, but for now!
1. I'll be taking a short break from MO development to work on a short VN for the Monstrous Desires jam!
What I have planned for Day 4 of MO might be the biggest update so far, since one route will lead to a few official BAD ENDINGS as opposed to 'dead ends' like the current demo has. To those who really want to, you finally get to see Mychael at his worst. As usual, writing the script takes a few months with plenty of changes in between, and I don't wanna bulldoze ahead and rush the story when it's getting to the climax!
But before I jump into all of that I just wanna give myself a creative exercise and try exploring a different theme, style and setting with a fresh new character for the jam! Since I'm a sucker for the trope... yes, the new blorbo will also be a yandere, sorry, I'm predictable.💔 The jam ends on October 28th so development on MO will continue then!
The last time I wrote something remotely sci-fi was in high school, so this will be fun to try!
2. Most probably missed it, but there's a tiny small patch to Day 3 explained here.
What it says on the tin! If you've already played Day 3, rest assured there's no significant story changes. Just an updated credits list, three extra sprites for one route and a small fix in the code.
3. Queue will return soon! I just gotta handle some housekeeping first with my Patreon.
Plenty of people have sent such sweet and encouraging messages to my inbox on what they thought of the update and I cannot thank all of you enough for the support!! I can't wait to post them out to archive them on the blog and answer all your interesting theories and queries in my queue!
But for now I'm due for a short break from my socials and to catch up on my Patreon sketch requests haha. I also plan to release cut content from Day 3 for my Yearling and Deer patrons. Plus, I'll be working on some written prompts for extra lore so that's something to look forward to!
I'll be back soon! Take care, fireflies!! ❤️
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pamicakery · 2 months
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₊✩‧₊˚౨ LOA IS EXHAUSTING ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
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Let's be honest.. We have been trying to force ourselves to affirm, visualise and it's been years that we are waiting for our manifestation. We can't even manifest in field we used to success, we try more and more techniques but fail again and again. We got depressed, exhausted, sad and we want to give up. We see success stories over success stories. We see tumblr Loa blogs coming and deactivating.
You want your Sp? You are chasing after them.
You want your job? You're distributing resumes everywhere waiting for an answer.
You want your ideal body? You are avoiding mirror.
You are affirming that you are that bad bitch that gets everything you want? You're crying and asking every Loa blog how to manifest this with many accounts or on anon.
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The error is not the world. You are. Well.. Said like that is harsh but let me explain.
You are manifesting with ego.
You want to manifest with logic, reasons and known pattern. You are not using the subconscious mind but your ego. You want to convince your Rational ego that you have that body that you don't have, that your boyfriend is this guy who blocked you, or this job that you don't have. Let's put it like this :
🧸: I have my ideal body!
🧠: No you don't look at the mirror you are the same.
🧸: I swear I have it!
🧠: No you don't, you don't work out or diet.
🧸: but I have it.
🧠: Why are you avoiding mirrors if you have your ideal body?
🧸: Because... I don't have it yet but it will come soon!
🧠 : Who told you you don't have it?
🧸: I see it in the mirror.
🧠:So you don't have it, I was right.
🧸:Yeah you are right, I don't have my ideal body.
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Why are you relying on a rational person to prove a miracle?
You are more stressing out and forcing yourself to visualise more than anything.
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What you should do then?
Nothing.
🎀 When I mean nothing, it means relying on the miracle person to prove the miracle. Make it easy for yourself. You can speak to the subconscious mind, who doesn't have any limiting belief, agrees with you, prove you right, show you and tell you what you want and believe in you and will do anything for you.
🎀 Your subconscious mind is not your bitch, your whore or your slave. It's your best friend. You don't need to tell it everyday :
'' Make me breath ''
'' Make me walk ''
'' Make my heart beats ''
'' Digest my food ''
. It takes care of everything but you prefered to listen and talk to your ego instead.
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Let's put it like that :
🧸: I have my ideal body.
🎀: Yes you have and you are so beautiful.
🧸:no... I still have the same body.
🎀: what? Of course not, in your 4d you have it!
🧸: Really ? But in the 3d -
🎀: I've finished the painting in the 4d, let me start sketching here so you can see it too. It Will be beautiful, trust me.
🧸: But what if it doesn't come.
🎀:You have to trust me, because I trust you when you tell me how's your life is going in the 3d. You're my eyes, remember?
🧸:Okay then, I trust you.
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It's like someone ordered a commission for a cake. The person told how exactly they want their cake okay? With detailed. So now it's for the baker to catch up to do the exact replica of the cake. But if everytime the customer calls '' Is the cake is finished yet? '' or '' You won't make it in time '', the baker doesn't have time to bake so when the day will come, there will be nothing on the table.
But
If the customer trust the baker, and let them cook, the baker will be more concentrated on the cake and will give a stunning result.
You need to trust the subconscious mind and let it work. Your only job is to know what you want and how would you feel if you already have it. If you want to send a reminder to the subconscious mind, send it the feeling of already having it.
🩷know that your subconscious mind is your best friend, if you trust it and enjoying in advance because you know it will bring your the best results it will thanks you with your desires.
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Aaaah, to hell with the rules, I'm finally in the mood for some quick ugly sketches. Rules are for people, not people for rules, yay!
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(... the major problem with Bulma is that when you draw her in a non-Toriyama style she's basically any woman with big breasts and blue/violet hair lol. On the other hand, that's why it's always interesting to draw her.)
~~~
On a seemingly unrelated note: I've always been more of a "crescent" kind of girl rather than a "full moon" one, lol.
For me, the best part of crescent is the empty dark space in its center - except that it isn't empty at all. When I focus on the blackness, that's when I really get The Big Cosmic Feeling. The picture is being transformed, and I am struck by the realization that this is actually a shadow on this giant spherical object, and I am standing right now on a huge ball rotating in the endless void... This is an eerie and magnificent feeling that never fails to take my breath away.
The full moon, of course, too is spectacular in its mystical white roundness, but it just doesn't do the same thing for me.
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wombywoo · 11 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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