#most of my friends still use this name so i promise u i won't mind 😌

[sevnthhart-a]

the s in aeris ( not referring to the flower girl herself hdjshd ) is optional when it comes to this blog lmao

[anton-luvr]

can you do childhood enemies to lovers with sungchan please 🤞 i love ur writing!!

# MR. CONSIDERATE.

𖦹 childhood enemy!sungchan x fem!reader | fluff | ce2l au 𖦹 note ; tysm for requesting anon!! i had so much fun writing this i love sungchan </3 thank u for waiting and i hope u like it!

Sungchan's yawn changes into a frown when he notices the pair of unfamiliar shoes by the door.

His aunt never mentioned about having guests over.

Thinking he had to endure another awkward social interaction, Sungchan sighs as he takes off his own shoes.

Don't get him wrong, he loves his aunt to bits.

But oftentimes, the friends she had over would nag him till his ears were ringing, endless questions about his college and non-existent dating life thrown his way.

So when he steps into the hallway to see that it's only a girl about his age with his sister in the living room, he's instantly relieved.

Until he notices his aunt is nowhere in sight.

"Somin," he calls out suspiciously, making his way over to the living room. "I'm home!"

The little girl squeals in delight, and she rushes over to hug Sungchan tightly. "'Chan, meet my new friend!" she says excitedly, pointing at you.

The smile on Sungchan's face freezes.

When he last saw you more than ten years ago, he had celebrated the fact that he would never have to see you again, but here you were: standing in his aunt's living room and staring right back at him.

Memories rush through his mind like a rollercoaster: childish fights over ice-cream, competitive glares exchanged when the teacher gave back your grades, and the promise he made to himself to hate you forever.

"S-Sungchan?" you sputtered, snapping him out of his thoughts. "What are you doing here?"

And just like he used to, Sungchan gets defensive. "What are you doing here? This is my aunt's house." he asks back, tone sharp and bringing an edge of hostility.

"She's the new babysitter!" Somin replies, unaware of the situation. "Her name is Y/N, isn't she nice?"

"Y/N, this is my brother! His name is Sungchan." Somin continues, grinning brightly at you.

You bite on your tongue to hold back from snapping back at Sungchan, feigning a surprised expression in response to Somin's introduction.

"Okay, bye! I need to go watch TV now." she sings, dashing off.

A heavy silence settles between the both of you as she leaves you alone, and Sungchan fakes a cough to break it.

"Sorry about that." he muttered.

"Oh, it's fine." you lie, shifting uncomfortably on your feet.

Sungchan shakes his head strongly at this, making his way into the kitchen.

"No, it's not. It's our first time meeting after forever, and this is how I treat you." he sighs. "Here, let me get you something to drink."

Not saying another word, you simply follow him into the small but cozy kitchen.

You watch as he pulls out two cans of soda from the fridge, and a small smile rests on your lips when you recognize the brand.

"I didn't know they still sold these sodas." you said, sliding into a seat by the kitchen counter.

They had been the most popular ones when you were a kid, and you would save your allowance to buy them during the scorching summers.

Sungchan makes a huffing noise as he places them on the counter, sliding one towards you. "You won't believe how expensive they are now." he complains. "It's almost five dollars a can!"

Hearing him complain like a grumpy middle-aged man, you couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asks, confused as he takes a sip from his can.

"You sound like an old man." you giggle, pretending to dodge when Sungchan picks up his soda as if to throw it at you.

The silence from earlier returns as your laughter dies down, and you wrack your brain to think of something to say.

Thankfully, Sungchan beats you to it.

"So... how's life? How have you been?" he asks.

Shrugging, you take a sip. "Not much. I'm on summer break from college, so I thought I'd earn some money at it while resting."

Sungchan hums, leaning back on his chair.

"And my aunt hired you to babysit my sister? Yikes." he mumbles jokingly.

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "I see that you're still the same, huh?" you retort.

As if you had accused him of a great crime, Sungchan gasps and dramatically clutches at his chest. "Hey, if this was us back then, we'd already be fighting and screaming at each other on the floor!"

The fact that it's happened before makes you chuckle, shaking your head.

It was crazy to think about how you used to hate him with all your guts, but here you were, having a conversation with him in his aunt's kitchen.

And as if on cue, you hear the front door rattle open and the loud chatter of ladies fill up the house.

"Oh God," Sungchan groans, mortified as he buries his face in his hands. "My aunt brought her friends over again."

You didn't understand his reaction till they swarmed over, chatting away like a coop of chickens.

"Oh wow, who's this gorgeous lady?" one of the ladies asked, waving enthusiastically at you.

"Is this your girlfriend? You never told us you had one!" another lady teases, whacking Sungchan on the shoulder.

He chokes on his soda, shaking his head frantically. "W-We're just friends! She was taking care of Somin, that's all!"

"Hmm, and maybe she can take care of you too!" one of them adds in, smirking at Sungchan.

"Someone's turning red!" Sungchan's aunt notices, laughing along.

Sure enough, his face was the color of a strawberry. Embarrassed, he stands up quickly, pulling you up with him by the hand.

"Okay, it's getting late, I have to take her home." he rambles, tugging you after him as he squeezes his way to the door.

"You do?" you echo, following him in surprise.

"Aw, our Sungchan is all grown up! He's bringing a girl home, how sweet!" one of the lady coos, and Sungchan's eye twitches.

"Bye!" he shouts, slamming the door shut behind the both of you.

All noise fades the moment he does, and the peace of the night wraps around you like a hug.

"Sorry about that. My aunt's friends are... something." Sungchan mumbles, annoyed.

"It's fine." you say. You were sure you had at least five aunts from your family who were the same, if not worse.

"Wait, but are you actually going to take me home?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at the brown haired boy.

Eyes widening, Sungchan plants his hands on his hips. "Of course I am! What kinda douchebag do you think I am to let you go home alone in the dark?" he scoffs, seemingly offended.

Shrugging, you laugh as you walk away. "Well, let's go then, Mr. Considerate."

He catches up to you with a "Hey, wait for me!", your footsteps falling together in a rhythm as you make your way home.

"Anyways, how about you? How's life?" you ask.

Sungchan hums at this, kicking a random rock on the sidewalk. "It's good. I'm finishing up my degree in engineering, then I'll probably start working."

"Oh, cool!" you say softly. "I would never have guessed you wanted to be an engineer." you laugh. "You were so obsessed with being a fireman back then."

Your words unlock another memory for Sungchan, and he smiles to himself.

Silence falls between the both of you again, but it felt more comfortable this time.

And as you continue walking together, Sungchan can't help but look at you from the corner of his eye, the old hatred softening away into unfamiliar adoration.

And he realized his aunt's friends were right. You really were gorgeous.

Your eyes still had the mischievous glint he used to hate, your cheeks a soft pink from the cool autumn breeze, while the orange street lamps overhead cast a soft glow on you - almost like an angel.

His face burns in realisation when he catches himself admiring you, and Sungchan's about to slap himself when you stop in your tracks.

"Alright, this is it. Thanks for walking me back." you smile, pointing at the apartment complex you stayed at.

Sungchan smiles back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "No problem," he says. "It was nice seeing you again."

You nod, waving as you walk up to the entrance.

"Goodnight!" you call, pulling out your access card.

But the beep of verification has barely gone through when it's cut off by Sungchan, shouting.

"Y/N, wait!" he calls.

"Do you want to go get a coffee or something tomorrow? J-Just to catch up." he stutters, eyes shining with what seems to be nervous anticipation.

"Sure," you say immediately, surprising yourself. "Text me the details?"

"I don't have your number though." Sungchan says, smiling sheepishly.

You face palm yourself, dumbfounded. "Sorry," you laugh awkwardly, taking his phone from his outstretched hand.

He watches in amusement as you type in your number, failing at least twice because you kept pressing the wrong number keys.

God, you were so cute.

"Still struggling with numbers?" Sungchan teases when you pass his phone back to him, and you slap his arm. "I passed math in high school, get it right." you scold lightly.

He grins, slipping his phone into his pocket. "Well, you can tell me all about it tomorrow," he says casually.

His words make your cheeks warm up, and you nod.

"Bye!" you call out, stepping into the lift.

Sungchan waves back as the lift doors close, and he can't help but smile like an idiot.

It seems like he wasn't going to hate you forever after all.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

[the-original-skipps]

Fluffy Alphabet A-Z

Sano Manjiro aka Mikey

Note: Thank you so much for 100+ followers. I wouldn't have been able to get his far without your support. I'm super overjoyed and glad that you guys take the time to read my writing. I love you all very much as promised I hope you enjoy the fluffy alphabet! 💗

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

> Mikey likes to go for rides on his CB205T and he likes to bring you along. He just loves the feeling of the wind passing and your presence behind him. Maybe sharing some snacks while you both watch the sunset or the starry night sky, talking about random things. He just generally likes being around you even if you're both just sitting in silence.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

> He admires your determination and strong will. Since Mikey is mentally weak, he admires those traits in other people. No matter what you'd always be there to scold him or comfort him. It reminds him of his older brother.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

> Mikey instantly knows if you're feeling down, he just senses it. He'll bring you somewhere where they could both be alone maybe a park or he'll drive somewhere and sit you down. Mikey won't force you to tell him what's wrong but if you do he'll be listening intently. He's not the best at comforting people but makes sure to let you know that he's here for you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

> Now this is a hard topic to answer. Mikey has pictured a future with his s/o, living in peace after all the rush during his teenage years. However, he doesn't see it happening because he knows it's best if he keeps his s/o away from him in the future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

> I'd say he's both but mostly on the passive side. He lets you take the lead since he doesn't know much about being in a relationship. He'll be given advice and teased by his close friends but he'll keep their words in mind.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

> Mikey is pretty stubborn and doesn't like losing. If it's a petty harmless arguement, if he's wrong then he'll muttering an apology to you and completely forget about it. It's difficult to get into a serious argument with him unless it's something concerning him or Toman. Say the things he needs to hear even if himself doesn't agree with you. Then he'll leave to give himself space and think about things. Be patient with him because eventually he'll come around.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

> Mikey is very grateful for you being by his side even though he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He appreciates every gesture you do for him from the big things and to the little things such as making him lunch or fixing his hair or just being by his side when he feels he's losing himself.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

> Mikey doesn't hide things, if you ask him something he will directly answer you. He has no trouble talking about a past event since it already happened. Even though he doesn't want you getting involved with Toman, he still tells you about how they're doing or what they're up to. The only things he wouldn't share are his true feelings and his dark impulsivities since he doesn't want to scare you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

> Just by being by Mikey's side you are a positive influence on him. It will take a long time but little by little he tries to open up about his true feelings and tries to rely on you more. Everytime you sense he's distancing himself, you would have to drag him back and knock some sense into him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

> Mikey is definitely the type to get jealous easily and his childish tendencies tend to come out. If he sees you getting too friendly with someone he'll keep staring until he's had enough and say "(Y/N) is mine, hmph!" With a cute pout on his face. Be sure to coddle him afterwards because he might give you the silent treatment.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

> Mikey has no experience whatsoever. He has no idea how kisses work. It'll be super rare to get a kiss from Mikey since he's not used to being affectionate. If you're lucky he'll peck you on your cheek or kiss your hands occasionally. Your first kiss with him wasn't planned. Both of you were alone and you were just admiring him as he talked and pressed a light kiss on his lips. He was instantly shocked by what you did as he traces over his lips with his fingers but inside he's feeling all warm. He never knew kisses from you would have this kind of affect on him.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

> It took long time for Mikey to realize that what he felt towards you was more than just friendship. He confessed this to Draken and he replied "huh, obviously you like them you idiot. Hurry up and go tell them." In which Mikey replies by telling Draken to do the same for Emma. It happened when he came to pick you up from school one day on his motorcycle and brought you to the riverside. "I finally understand what I feel, (Y/N). I like you... You don't have to give me an answer right away, I'll wait however long it takes..."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

> Another hard topic to answer. When Mikey fell for you he fell hard. As much as he wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with you, it won't happen. That is until he goes through "certain changes" and let's say he did. You'll be riding with him on his motorcycle on Christmas until he stops at a certain place. He'll start talking about his past and the times you've spent together. Then talking about how much he appreciates you and thanks you then pops the question. The wedding will be small and privately held with only people close to him and you are invited.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

> It is known that Mikey gives nicknames to those who are close to him. It depends on what your first name is. He'll most likely you use the first syllable of your name plus -chin, -cchi or -chy. Only when he's serious will he use your real name.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

> Honestly, it can be really hard to tell unless you really observe Mikey. You would notice he stares at you longer, or everytime your name pops up in a conversation he's interested. Draken is definitely the first the notice this change in Mikey and teases him for it, while Mikey denys it. The others will slowly start to notice this too. Especially, when he bought an extra taiyaki and gave it to you. Takemichy's jaw dropped at the scene.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

> Mikey won't be announcing to everyone that he has an s/o. However, if someone asks he'll answer honestly. I wouldn't use the word "brag" but he will say nice about you to others. For Mikey, intimate gestures such as kissing are only between the two of you. If someone catches the both of you, Mikey wouldn't be pleased.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

> You wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to flirt with you or trying to hurt you not when Mikey's around. Mikey cares deeply about you and would give his life to protect you. You wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to flirt with Mikey either since you already have his heart, he'll simple brush them off. He's loyal.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

> As I have mentioned earlier, Mikey has no experience with relationships. You would have to teach him things. Still there will be moments that might seem simple to others but to you, you know it's a way Mikey shows his love for you. For example, draping his jacket over your shoulders or buying an extra snack so you could have some too. If he's not busy with Toman matters, he would want to spend his time with you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

> Mikey would genuinely support your dreams and passions, telling you to never give up on them. He believes in you with his whole heart, and he knows you would be able to make your goals come true.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

> He would like to try things he never experienced before with you, like taking pictures at the photo booth or going shopping for matching keychains. That being said, what Mikey likes the most is the constant reassurance that you're here for him. Routines like going riding on his motorcycle or just talking with you, it what he like most. He's scared that one day you'd leave him so these mundane routines assures him.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

> You would think Mikey is the forgetful type but he actually pays attention to things. He'll notice you eyeing a certain item in a store or if you're lying to him. He genuinely cares about you and would like to know everything about you, even the shameful parts. Mikey has a hard time with emotions, he may not fully understand your troubles but he'll assure you that he'll be there for you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

> For Mikey to actually want to establish a relationship with someone. It means he sees you as an important person in his life. However, certain things would have to come before you such as his family and Toman. It is something you would have to understand when dating Mikey.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

> Whenever he looks like he's spacing off during Toman meetings while he is paying attention to what's happening his mind can't help but wander towards you. About what you're currently doing or if you're at home safely. Before he starts the engine of his bike, or has nothing to do he fiddles with the keychain on his keys. It's the matching keychain you both have.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

> Mikey is not known to be the most showy when it comes to showing his affections. It's the little things he does for only you, that shows how much he cares about you. Mikey secretly likes the affection you give him even if he denies it. It surprises him everytime you hug him or kiss him but he never stops you or tells you to stop. Just don't do it in front of Toman. Even if he doesn't want to, cuddle him as the big spoon and it'll make him really happy. Since he's so used to keeping a strong facade, cuddling with you gives him the impression that with you maybe he doesn't have to do that.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

> Mikey will still act as the strong charismatic leader of Toman, where nothing fazes him. He won't outwardly show that he misses you but you can tell by the way he fiddles with his matching keychain or stares off into the distance that he misses you. He might even unconsciously blurt a quiet "I miss (Y/N)...."

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

> Mikey is willing to give his life away to protect you. Just you being with him is dangerous enough who knows who might be out to get him and easiest way they can do that is by getting you. If your safely is at risk even he likes you he would have to break up with you, keep you away from the danger. Because he utmostly cares about your well being and if anything happens to you, it will destroy him.

[the-lonelybarricade]

Hiii!! I've been following your work since the beginning and i just wanted to give u a big squeeze of a hug for blessing us with all of your fics 'cause i feel like we don't deserve u for blessing us with all these wonderful feysand content that u are sharing.

I hope all is well with ur life and in ur studies, and if it's not too much to ask, would you consider writing a feysand au where Feyre & Rhys aren't mates, but are happily in love and in a relationship--when all of a sudden, one of them meets their mate (preferably Rhys..?) or something like that 😚. Won't lie to u that im dying to know what events would play out and how Feyre would react if this scenario happened. Really no pressure to write this or anything just wanted to try my luck with this idea :DD. Thank u!

Bestie, ooof. What are you trying to do to me? Can you imagine how heartbreaking that would be for Feysand to be happy and in love, waiting patiently for the mating bond to snap only to find out they were star-crossed lovers all along? Well you don’t have to imagine it, because I already have. And if I’m going to be in torment over Feysand angst, I’m (affectionately) dragging you all down with me.

P.s. thank you for the submission lovely, I hope you enjoy <3

The Chains That Bind Us

Word count: 1,956

⟡⟡⟡

Feyre and Rhysand were happily married. For 300 years, they had basked in what seemed like an infinite stretch of rapture, working alongside and complimenting each other with a grace and chemistry that had always felt predestined. They had always been certain they were mates, but time had flowed on and neither had felt the inkling of that special, magic bond.

They have resigned that perhaps the mating bond will never snap, perhaps that’s simply not what they were to one another, but that was okay. It was enough to be husband and wife, to be High Lord and Lady, to be happy and in love. They didn’t need a mating bond to reaffirm what they felt for one another. Things were already perfect as they were.

Until they weren’t. Until they had journeyed together to Illyria to oversee the announcement of the first all-female battalion. It had been a long term goal of Rhysand and his brothers to finally battle back the long ingrained sexism of Illyrian culture, and the visit was meant to be a celebration. A liberating ceremony, in honor of their mothers and all the females who had been victims of prejudice.

But when the leader of the battalion stepped forward to be acknowledged for her accomplishments, Rhysand had gone rigid at Feyre’s side, his breathing suddenly ragged. His pupils were blown wide, eyes fixed, riveted to the female.

Feyre felt her whole world had imploded in that moment. Especially when that female’s eyes had met her High Lord’s and had frozen just the same, the two bearing matched expressions of awe and disbelief.

She was certain she was going to be sick. Such a thing would be far from befitting of a High Lady, so Feyre had immediately winnowed back to their River House, back into their bathroom where she was instantly emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

Rhysand was there not too long after, holding back Feyre’s hair. They said nothing to each other, not until Feyre had recovered enough to turn and face her husband.

She was entirely unprepared for the way her heart shattered to meet his face, to meet those lovely eyes she had loved for centuries. Eyes that had only moments before been staring at another female with so much blind devotion it had torn her open.

“Feyre—” he started.

“I suppose we should have assumed that something like this could happen,” she interrupted, because she couldn’t bear to hear him apologize. Not for something like this, something that was entirely out of either of their control.

“It doesn’t change anything,” he insisted, but there was a strain to his voice that had never been present before. A bite that Feyre was convinced was the result of Rhysand battling against his instincts to return to Illyria, to that female.

“It changes everything, Rhys.”

She was already weeping as she choked the words out, because speaking them made them true. Those few centuries of bliss between them, they were a bubble, a perfectly crafted delusion that had finally popped.

“I love you,” Rhys seethed, as though arguing with himself. “I don’t even know that females name—”

“It doesn’t matter, Rhys. She’s your—”

“Don’t say it,” he begged, his voice a broken rasp. “Please, don’t say it.”

Somehow, that made it impossibly worse. That Rhys had been gifted this incredible, Cauldron-blessed thing, but was scorning it for her sake. Most Fae dreamed of the moment their mating bond would snap, and here was her husband acting as if it was his worst nightmare.

But Feyre knew what it was like for males. She knew he was clawing against every instinct in his mind, screaming at him to go to his mate, to know her name, to claim her. Feyre stifled another sob. Rejected mating bonds could drive a male mad. How could she ever think to do that to him? How could she deny him this piece of himself?

What broke her heart more than anything is that Feyre knew he would. Rhysand would reject his bond, would let that intrinsic part of his soul be torn away, for her sake. If Feyre asked, he would stay. He would stay and be miserable.

“I can’t do this to you, Rhys. I can’t force you to stay with me out of duty. I will not be your jailor.”

“You are my wife,” Rhys choked, reaching for her hand. He drew her palms to his face, allowing her to caress his cheeks. He shut his eyes as he nuzzled into her touch, causing his unshed tears to fall, racing down to collect at her hands. “You are my High Lady. You are the only one I want to be with.”

That wrecked another sob through Feyre’s body, which came out as a harsh exhale as she tried to restrain it. “You’d be a broken male without her, Rhys. The Cauldron—” she sucked in a strangled breath. Some truths were just too difficult to confront— “The Cauldron didn’t intend for us to be together.”

“Damn the Cauldron,” he growled, reaching for her with newfound conviction. “No one and nothing can decide who I love. No one can tell me that you are not who I belong with—who I belong to.”

Feyre allowed him to bundle her in his arms, to press her fiercely against his chest. She knew moments like this were fleeting, where they could hold each other as husband and wife. Already, their love was tarnished. Tainted. Blood spilled onto white snow. How long would it take for this mating bond to seep, to spill into the cracks, to spread until it consumed them? She couldn’t see an outcome where they could stay together unblemished, where they wouldn’t come to resent one another.

“Rhysand, listen to me love,” Feyre said, and found that her voice was steadier than she anticipated. “I care more about you being happy than I care about that happiness being found with me. Do you understand?”

“I would not be happier without you, Feyre.” His voice was ripe with earnesty. When she turned those eyes to meet his, those violet depths were burning, the silver constellations completely eclipsed by molten amethyst. He swallowed thickly. “Do I… want that female? Yes.” Feyre cringed to hear her husband admit it outloud. “But, that is just my instincts. I will be able to manage them with time. This bond is nascent. My love for you? It’s endured for centuries. The cauldron is not faultless; my parents were mates and they were miserable together. I could never imagine someone so perfect to walk beside me as you, Feyre. I do not seek another, no matter what fate has to say for it.”

Feyre allowed the comfort of his words to wash over her. She rested her head against Rhysand’s shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent, letting herself lavish in the rhythm of him, the beat of his heart steady in his chest.

“I will understand if you change your mind,” she whispered. “I do not hold you to your vows. If you become unhappy, if one day you cannot resist the pull you feel towards her… I will not hold it against you. I give you permission to… to leave me.”

Rhys let out a small, rueful laugh before he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “How could I desert a love that is so selfless? The least I could do in the wake of such a declaration is promise to never see that female again.”

Feyre shook her head emphatically. “Don’t promise me that, Rhys. Just—just promise me that we’ll always be honest with each other. That we’ll always be a team, whether it be as rulers, or as lovers, or… or just as friends.”

“I promise,” he swore. “I vowed on my court and crown that I will love you for eternity. And I still know that to be true, even now. My soul… it might belong to someone else. But my heart, Feyre, it will always belong to you.”

There was something irreparably changed between them. They both knew it, could sense the way it lingered between them. The first crack, and possibly not the last. What they had was fragile now, but they had a gift for being delicate with one another.

The silence hung between them, a wretched, discomfiting presence that had never been there before. Both not quite sure what to say, not quite sure where this put them. She watched Rhysand’s lower lip quiver, understood that it was from the strain of not burdening her with his own turmoil over the situation.

Feyre tutted as she threw her arms around him, recognizing the signs of his crumbling. Rhys bowed his head in shame, burying his face into her chest.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped against her, releasing a sob of his own. “I’m sorry it couldn’t have been you. I wanted it to be you. I’m a failure of a husband, for putting you through this.”

“You are an excellent husband,” Feyre protested, threading her fingers through his hair soothingly. Her voice was still raw. “I don’t blame you for this, Rhys. I love you just the same.”

He lifted his head so their tear-stained faces were level. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, still glistening in silver. “What do we do now?”

They clung to each other so tightly, as if they pressed hard enough they could redirect fate, could mold their souls together and correct the misdeed of the Cauldron.

“I don’t know,” Feyre answered, burying her face in his shoulder as if it would hide her from the truth of the world. “I suppose we have no choice but to keep going. We’ll find our footing again. Together. And if we don’t… well, maybe we can wish on the stars.”

There was a huff of air at her ear. A laugh, she guessed, or something like it, something wry and humorless. Rhys moved underneath her, and Feyre pulled away to watch in confusion as her husband rose to his feet.

He extended his hand towards her. Curious, Feyre accepted, allowing him to pull her to her feet. In a blink, they were on the rooftop, beneath the stars. She hadn’t even realized the sun had set until she was staring up at the impossibly bright cosmos.

“Where better to find our footing than under those very stars?”

She turned to him, and Rhys was staring at her the way he had on starfall, all those centuries ago. Staring at her as if she were the brightest star in the sky, as though he looked to Feyre to cast his wishes.

“Will you dance with me, wife?”

Not convinced she was capable of speech, Feyre nodded. Using the hand he still held, Rhys twirled her into his arms. And though no music played, they found their own rhythm, lost in the cadence of each other, spinning endlessly under the stars.

As they swayed under the endless expanse of sky and starlight, Feyre mused how even the brightest of stars eventually burned out, but that didn’t make them any less worth wishing on. That didn’t mean they weren’t worth fighting for.

⟡⟡⟡

[hitozy]

have you ever ‹ masterlist › denouement

tw! manipulation, mentioned underage sex, dubious consent, cheating. i also want to point out that reader is around 2-3 years younger than Iwaizumi, while Jae and Iwa are the same age. ps. this is a long chp :)

𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞

Iwaizumi has no idea of what has possessed him tonight. He doesn't know why he's walking around the city in the middle of the night a day before he should be on his way home.

He doesn't know why after the celebration he didn't follow his teammates. He doesn't know why he has barely answered your texts since after the game.

He also doesn't know why he agreed to go and see Jae, to hear her out.

He's been doing fine so far, seven months Jae clean and while the first three were bumpy; your company had made it easier to deal with. Your cheerfulness, your happiness, the adventures you've both have been planning have taken his mind off the broken heart he was nursing.

She continued to contact him, even when he begged her not to and blocking her phone was no use, she just got a new one and tried again and again. His resolve was diluted and he knew it would be a matter of time before he fell into his old habits.

lil jae: congrats on the win haji! let me invite you to a drink, im in town.

-

Iwaizumi recalls an old memory from back in high school, a few weeks before moving to California, you were sitting on his bed helping him organize his suitcase with 'essentials'. His clothes all over the place but as always, you showed enthusiasm at helping him out.

He remembers you giggling and calling him a dork while folding his Godzilla themed underwear and placing it inside his suitcase. He remembers the way you hummed some songs that you had just placed on your shared playlist because 'it's kinda your style' and it kinda is. He even remembers what you were wearing, a pair of black running shorts and a blue tank top. When you reached over the edge of his bed for his fallen socks, your cleavage was visible to his eyes, 'If a man ever peers down his shirt', he thought, 'I'll kill him without hesitating.'

But what he remembers the most is you pulling out an old shoe box from under said bed, a shoe box that held his most treasured things. Pictures from his childhood that matched the ones on your bedroom wall, doddles from your hand, your favorite flowers pressed inside a copy of your favorite book, short stories and poems, snippets of stories never finished from you. He'll never forget your teary eyes and happy smile when he took the box from you, emptying the contents carefully inside his backpack. The hug you gave him afterward still sets his heart on fire, nothing has ever been more lovely than you and your happy smile.

He also remembers Jae coming into his room right during your hug, wearing an empty smile on her face, her eyes red and raging. He's only ever seen her this mad whenever he's with you and he still doesn't get it.

She stay's to "help" when in reality all she does is glare at yn the whole time. It helps that you don't even mind the glares or the bad mood, joking that 'Jae's grumpy because we couldn't go to the movies today'.

It was late afternoon when you left, Iwaizumi had given you a bag filled with some of his stuff - things he knew you loved and adored, things he couldn't take. He watched you get inside your parents car and wave him goodbye, even though you both knew he'd be coming through your window in a few hours for movie night.

He remembers when he came back inside to find Jae naked on his bed. How angry she was and how she took it out on sex, the tension so palpable he could taste it. Once it was over, she walked towards his backpack and pulled out all of YN's things and that's when it clicked. She was mad because he was taking stuff about YN and not her, she made it clear when Jae told him, 'What the fuck is this.'

-

He remembers that hours later, he finds himself in your room squeaky clean and wearing nothing but his sweatpants and socks, his back against your front with his head against your breasts. He hadn't told you that Jae broke up with him, but he knew you had figured out he was sad because your arms cradled him since he got situated there and had not moved since.

How Jae said she wouldn't move with him in the end. How she had decided to stay in Japan and have him go to California all alone in the end, just because she wanted him to. How he begged her to come, to stay with him, to not leave him and how he watched her get dressed to go home. How she winked at him as she left with a, "Call me once you're in Cali."

How she only wants to go out when she knows he has plans with you. How she only cares about him when you're around or how messed up and used he feels ever since she took his virginity during your 14th birthday party.

He feels disgusting sometimes after sex with Jae, disgusted with himself on how wrong it is but how much he loves her still.

He didn't have to say any of that to you, the kiss on the forehead you just gave him eased it all away anyway.

-

He remembers all of this while he's kissing Jae in her hotel room, her dress and underwear discarded somewhere in the room, his cock buried deep inside of her like a starved man, Her nails racking down his chest from his unbuttoned shirt as she moaned at the feeling.

When Jae separates herself from him with half lidded eyes, she smirks, "I bet my little cousin can't even kiss right, the little virgin." She kisses the column of his neck, grazing her teeth against the skin, getting ready to mark him as hers and even though he doesn't agree with her, he stays quiet.

A memory burst through his mind as he pounds into Jae. The way your sighed his name when he settled himself inside of you, the way your nails scratched his back when he hit your G-spot, the way you moaned when his thumb circled your clit; your gummy, tight walls griped him as you came, with his name on your lips. Your soft, pillow lips that have only been his, only kissed him.

"Be safe out there, Hajime! I'll be waiting for you!" She smiled as she kissed him goodbye by the front door.

He turned to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to him like a starved man, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna runaway, mochi."

As he walked down the steps of his house, he heard her say "I miss you already."

It's then that Iwaizumi snaps out of it.

He pushes her off of him and steps back until his back is against the wall, feeling disgusted with himself in a way he hasn't since they broke up.

"I can't do this, I won't do this, I-" he pushes himself off the wall, tucking himself in and picking up his stuff, "Never again, Jae."

Jae watches him leave, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Her gaze steady as his figure disappears into the night, "If you think you can just up and go, Haji, you are very mistaken."

She walks to where she hid her phone and chuckles as she presses send, "Lets see what my little cousin has to say, hmm?"

-

Iwaizumi was worried, it wasn't normal for you to not answer his calls or texts. He was on the road back home with the team, their ruckus would usually give him a headache, but right now? Right now he can't focus on anything except the little 'unread' mark at the bottom of his last text to you.

my one: mochi? r u ok? im on my way back home

-

He didn't expect to come back home and find you in the living room in silence. Your eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying, you didn't have to say anything for him to know what had happened.

Jae told you.

He wish he could be surprised, but Jae had been nothing but a devil all this time and he can't believe he never saw it until now. Until he married you, an angel.

"Mochi, I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, please talk to me." He knelt at your feet, his hands on your knees trying to get you to look at him. His guilt crashing down brick by brick, he should have never gone out to see her.

"I know this means nothing to you, mochi. But I'll never see her again, only when its a family reunion or you're with me."

Silence.

"There is no excuse, but yn, please, look at me, let me explain."

She pushes him off a bit, without much force as if her sadness took away all her strength and his heart clenched. How could he do this to his best friend? Lie and lie, again and again and again.

YN-”

“No, STOP! You- you got your say, now it’s my turn.” She's shaking and her breaths are short. She's starting to have a panic attack.

I get up and advance towards her slowly, “YN you need to calm down. Here,” I place my hand on her back, “let me-”

She pushes me off, her back towards me, “Please, don’t touch me. Please, please, please.” She's sobbing and its hurts so so much.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

“Remember your breathing exercises, mochi. In and out. In…”

Eventually her breathing normalizes but she still won't look at me and it takes all of my strength to not touch her.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me, Hajime.”

Whoever said words can never hurt someone, has never been in my place. She just stabbed me without a knife and its more painful than I ever imagined.

“I wanted you to love me, to see me as your wife, as a woman but you didn’t. You don’t and I- it hurts so much.”

“But, mochi, you said you would marry me so we didn’t end up with strangers.”

“I know.”

“Then why-”

“I lied. I’ve loved you since the moment you came into my life. I’ve loved you for years, even before Jae came into the picture. I’ve loved you so so so much, I love you so much.”

“… you know about Jae? Since when?!” I made the mistake of reaching out for her, she pushed me back and said nothing. The dread of her knowing, of her finding out before today makes me sick.

“If you knew then why did you marry me!? Did you think I would change? That my feelings would change? You know I’m not like that.”

“I do know. I- thought that maybe-, but then it was clear that nothing would change but, I made a promise to you and I said it in our vows.”

“YN-”

“I know the mistake is mine. I know what all the blame is mine to take, I know it and I accept it. I’m sorry, Hajime, that’s me that you have to stay with.”

She finally turns to look at me, but I wish she hadn't. The tears are flowing steadily down her cheeks to her neck. I did this to her, I hurt her again and again, without thinking. No, without watching. Because if I had paid attention to her like Jae did, I might have seen it sooner.

“We could get a divorce, you know. That way you can stop getting hurt. Stop your heart from breaking. You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s okay. I- I give you permission to do it, to break my heart forever.”

“…What?”

She takes my hand, and in-between the tears she smiles at me as if her heart wasn't breaking in two. As if I didn't shatter her dreams for a few sloppy seconds, “It’s okay, I know what I signed up for, I knew it from the beginning. I guess I just didn’t want to accept it. So go ahead, break my heart, break it into a million pieces! I give you permission, Iwaizumi Hajime, please just - don’t leave me.”

I can't say anything, what am I supposed to say? My sweet, sweet girl is hurt and damaged and all she wants is for me to stay. I feel disgusted in a way I never did with Jae, because instead of being used, I am using her.

I bring her into my arms, and say the only words that have actual meaning between us, "I love you, mochi."

"I- I'll do better, I promise. Please YN," He gripped her shoulders tightly, "Please forgive me, I'll do whatever just, I'm so sorry, baby."

He can feel the tears spilling onto his shirt, a scorching pain expanding through his chest at the consequences of his actions. He hurt the one person who didn't deserve it, who he promised to keep safe and happy.

"Hajime, please take a bath, I wanna sleep without the smell of Jae."

His heart dropped at her words, he forgot that he had just upped and left from Jae's, only changing his clothes for comfort. His skin still smelled like her. As he separated from her, he kissed her forehead, "Join me?"

-

He laid on the bed with her hours later, her head on his chest where he could see her puffy eyes. She had washed him thoroughly to the point were he thought she had scrubbed him raw, and he couldn't blame her - he wanted to do the same since the beginning.

He pulled her closer, practically on top of him and felt her heartbeat against his own. He had done something terrible and he needed to fix it, fix this. So he needed to take the first step.

to lil jae: for someone who says they love me, u sure like to make me miserable. i don't know why u hate yn so much and tbh i don't care anymore. i don't want to see u or talk to u ever again. if u contact me, i'm gonna get a restraining order, jae. i can't do this anymore.

to lil jae: goodbye jae.

do you wish to block this number?

yes.

Remorse is memory awake, Her companies astir,— A presence of departed acts At window and at door.

Its past set down before the soul,         And lighted with a match, Perusal to facilitate Of its condensed despatch.

Remorse is cureless,—the disease Not even God can heal;         For ’t is His institution,— The complement of hell.

Remorse is memory awake - Emily Dickinson

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! *hands you all this and runs* i'll see you soon for chp11~

but in all seriousness, i wrote this chapter with my heart on my sleeve. love is truly the strongest curse and for it to be unrequired? imagine it.

now, i'm off to write the next part! and i am sorry :) ♥

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

[cottonblush]

promise me | lmh

❧ word count: 3,403 maybe?

❧ genre: fluff, one mention of a cut so like gore i guess

❧ notes: installment one of the skz powers au!! this one is kinda a drabble series?? also i’ve discovered i love the whole “i hate u” “u love me” thing a little too much but it’s not hurting anyone so yee to the haw my guys!

The first time Minho realizes he’s a gifted one, he’s on the rooftop of his apartment building, unclipping some extra laundry from the clothes line. The wind picks up all of a sudden and the large bed sheet he just unclipped comes flying at his face. He’s trapped, a tangled mass of fabric and limbs, the opaque sheets doing nothing to aid his vision.

The sheets seem to act as a pair of wings, lifting the young boy into the air. It’s just a couple of feet at first, but then he keeps going higher and higher, and Minho can’t get rid of the sinking feeling in his stomach.

When he finally manages to untangle himself and take in a deep breath, he makes the biggest mistake. He pries open his eyes and looks down. There’s no building below him now, just the apartment complex’s playground and park. It doesn’t help that he’s afraid of heights. In that moment, he feels like a cloud, yet he feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on his shoulders.

The fear overwhelms him, clouding his mind, and Minho starts to freefall out of the sky. He tries to scream but can’t seem to find his voice. All that’s left is the seemingly infinite supply of salty tears welling in his eyes and streaming down his cheeks.

In the few seconds it takes to fall, the world seems to slow down. Minho sees flashes of his past, though there’s not much since he’s only at the ripe age of eight years old. He sees his mom making him ramen with an egg on top for the first time; he sees himself in the mirror, small hands running over the scar on his stomach from a surgery he needed; he sees his friends gathering around him to show him the stray cat they found behind a dumpster; he sees you, his next door neighbor and best friend, on the first day that you two met, eyes wide and curious about all the world could offer.

He won’t get to say goodbye to you or anyone else, Minho realizes. He screws his eyes shut and hopes everyone will at least remember him in a good light.

And then everything goes dark.

“Minho,” comes your high pitched voice after what seems like an eternity, “what are you doing hanging from Mrs. Yang’s terrace? Hammocks are meant to be set up close to the ground, silly! And you can’t use a bedsheet. My daddy says you have to buy a special thingy for it.”

Thankfully, the universe has decided it just isn’t Minho’s time yet, and when he realizes this, the boy scrambles to try and get to the terrace.

“Y/n! Please, help! I don’t wanna be in here anymore.”

You run off, causing Minho’s heartbeat to skyrocket, but you return moments later with Mrs. Yang. The woman quickly sees how serious the situation is and cautions Minho not to move.

“I’ll come get you so stay put,” she says, moving quickly.

Once the boy is safely back on the ground, he can’t stop crying, snot and tears turning his once pristine face into a soppy mess. You take the boy into your arms and the two of you fall to the ground, remaining in a tight embrace. Even though Minho is a couple of months older than you, you know it’s no time to point it out and make fun of him.

Instead, you hold him tighter and hope that only good thoughts can reach him, tiny arms doing the best they can to support the taller and larger boy.

Mrs. Yang calls Minho’s mom and she rushes downstairs to get her son, worried expression softening when she sees him safe and sound. She starts to pry him away from you and pick him up in her arms.

Before he can get away from you, you stick out your pinky finger.

“Promise you’ll tell me what happened?”

“I promise,” comes the reply, a matching pinky finger hastily wrapping around your own to seal the deal.

When Minho comes to terms with the fact that he has powers, specifically the power of flight, the first thing you do is urge him to start training to become a super. It’s your latest obsession, the name ‘Megaman’ leaving your mouth at least a billion times a day.

You tell Minho that you want to marry the famous super one day, regardless of the fact that there’s more than a decade between you two. That’s when the boy starts to think that maybe if he becomes a super, you’ll want to talk only about him instead.

Although it doesn’t take much convincing, actually getting Minho up in the air is the difficult part. You have to take it slow, holding his hand even if he’s only a couple of inches off the ground.

After weeks of the same results, it doesn’t seem that Minho will be able to make any improvements, so you do the only thing your ten year old brain can think of.

You unclasp the silver chain that rests around your neck, pendant shaped the same as the first letter of your name, and put it around his. Your hands come to rest on his shoulders, face serious as you try to pretend you’re like a sergeant from your dad’s favorite war-time movie series.

Minho scrunches his brows and tilts his head as he asks, “What’s this for?”

You giggle, serious façade immediately breaking, “It’s a good luck charm! This way, I can be with you whenever you’re flying and you don’t have to be scared.”

“For real? I can actually keep this? You’re awesome, Y/n! I’ll never feel scared if I have this with me!”

You give the boy a tight hug, a giant smile contouring your lips. Minho mumbles something into the crook of your neck, but you don’t quite catch it, so you pull back, hands still grabbing his shoulders and keeping him at an arm’s width away.

He looks unsurely down at the ground for a moment, contemplating if he should voice what he’s thinking or not. However, when he sees your that your encouraging smile hasn’t faltered one bit, it’s just the boost of confidence he needs.

He places his hands atop your own and says, “The necklace sure is great and all, but do you know what’s even luckier?”

You get pouty for a second, thinking your best friend might dispose of your precious gift. With a frown on your face, you grumble out, “No. And I don’t really care either.”

“It’s you, dummy!”

“Hey! Don’t call me a dummy when you’re the dummy, dummy!”

Minho resists the urge to roll his eyes because of course you’d find it in you to argue in a moment like this.

“Ugh, fine, I’m the dummy,” he concedes. “Anyway, I was thinking you can be my lucky charm! As long as you promise to never leave me, of course. And then we can be best friends forever!”

“Really? That’d be perfect, Minho!”

“Promise? That you’ll be by my side forever?”

“I promise.”

Flash forward a couple years and the two of you are sixteen. You’ve become on of the top students in school, balancing grades and your responsibilities as student council secretary. Minho has made a name for himself as a super, dedicating most of his time to saving lives and counting on you to catch him up when he returns home late at night.

However, with people on the streets becoming more aware of him, it also means bad people are better equipped to deal with him.

It’s one fateful night, the wind is howling in his ears and lightning flashes every couple seconds. He’s managed to sneak his way into a gang meeting, trying his best to calm his heartbeat and memorize every detail about the scheme that’s supposed to occur in the coming weeks.

The lightning ends up being a dangerous adversary, its light illuminating Minho’s crouched figure from his place beneath one of the windows on the second floor. One of the grunts notices something is amiss and whispers a command for the building to go into lockdown. He also alerts a guy who appears to be an interim boss of Minho’s location.

The other grunts have him in no time, using their familiarity of the layout to their advantage and sneaking up on him. They grab his arms, forcefully pressing them against his back, and drag him downstairs to the boss.

Minho finds himself seated in a chair. It feels like an investigation scene from the popular crime show on TV, the nearest source of light being an old lamp shining directly in the teen’s face. He gulps, knowing if whatever he says doesn’t please the boss—and it likely won't—he could end up in big trouble.

However, there’s one more mistake Minho makes, and that is overestimating the amount of leniency he would receive. He doesn’t even get a chance to speak before the breath is knocked out of his lungs. Next comes a sharp punch to the face and he knows that’ll leave a mark that won’t be so easy to cover up.

The gang members are relentless, each taking their turn punching or kicking the poor guy, until it’s finally the leader’s turn.

The bulky old man whips out a switchblade and slowly stalks forward. He places the tip of the cold blade on Minho’s forehead, applying enough pressure to draw blood. Minho’s eyes widen in recognition when he realizes what’s about to happen: the man is going to cut off his mask.

He can’t allow that to happen so he wills his body with all his might to break out of the death grip that the grunts have him in. He flies up into the air, shooting through one of the windows and making his escape. Although he does manage to make it out without anyone seeing his true identity, he flies home with a large cut on his forehead, gash slightly tearing into the edge of his mask.

Minho knows that if he goes home and his parents happen to see him in his current state, they’ll find out he’s a super and even worse, they may forbid him from doing the job he’s come to love so much.

Instead, he lands haphazardly on your bedroom’s balcony. He gives the sliding glass door a weak tap, hoping you’ll hear him over the sound of the raging storm above.

Like an angel sent from above, you do hear his call for help and crack open the door.

“Minho,” you call out, voice laced with drowsiness as it’s almost the middle of the night, “what are you doing? Come inside.”

You slide the door open even more, allowing his drenched body to weasel its way inside. You tiptoe across the room and turn the lights to the lowest setting that the dimmer can possibly allow. When you turn around, you resist the urge to yelp, instead rushing forward as Minho’s body collapses.

“Oh my god, Minho! What happened to you? Look at your face. It's…”

You can’t even finish your sentence, your thumb tracing over the delicate skin on his forehead, not ignoring the way his temperature is rapidly falling.

“We need to get you warmed up first,” you urge.

First, you plug in your space heater and position it in front of your bed. You then grab some spare clothes of Minho’s from your closet and turn, ready to hand them off when you see that his form is too exhausted to move on its own. Carefully, you peel off his suit, embarrassment not even close to being present in your mind due to the severity of the situation. You dress him as quickly as possible, making sure to avoid his open wound when sliding on his shirt.

Lugging his body onto your bed, you cover him with your blanket as well as the winter comforter you usually keep tucked away beneath the bed.

Thankfully, the wound is not as deep as it first appeared, and you hope that you can get away with treating it with ointment and wrapping it in bandages, at least until you can get Minho to a doctor.

You lean over his weakened body as you dab the cut with the necessary ointments and creams. Minho doesn’t make it easy for you. His right hand refuses to let go of its grip on your left wrist, skin never losing contact with your own. However, you let it be, knowing that just like that fateful day years ago, the best thing to calm him down is a nurturing touch.

He falls asleep like that and you can only hope for the best, refusing to sleep until you hear his breath even out.

When the sun rises the next morning and Minho comes to, you practically pounce on him, arms winding tightly around his neck.

“Can’t breathe,” the young man chokes out.

You instantly jump back, worry plaguing your features and tears threatening to spill onto your skin.

“S-Sorry,” you say, voice warbling and hands self consciously coming to rest at your side.

Minho softens upon seeing you so concerned, hands reaching out to grab your own.

“I’m fine,” he tries to assure you.

He tells you that he feels much better; he can’t even feel the cut on his head anymore, and that causes you to laugh, telling him he’s being absurd.

“I was so worried, you know? I really thought you were gone for a second there.”

“Don’t you remember our promise? I’m never leaving you and you’re not getting away from me anytime soon.”

“Of course, I remember. But I want us to make a new promise. I want you to promise me to always be careful on missions and always, always, always make sure to come back home safe to me.”

“I promise. I love you, Y/n. I hope you know that.”

“I love you more. And I’ve always known, dummy!”

“Hey!”

“You can’t even argue this time. You literally have a giant cut on your head. You are officially the dummy.”

“Oh god… Do you think my mom will notice?”

“It’s impossible not to. But maybe we can tell her you tripped on the way to school? She must’ve already left for work by now so at least you won’t have to worry about that for now.”

“Ah, what would I do without you?”

“Don’t know. Probably something dumb, dummy.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me!”

“…I hate when you’re right.”

You’re seventeen, not quite a dancing queen, when you’re first asked out to a school event: the winter formal dance. You’re giddy with excitement, chatting with your girl friends about the insta-worthy proposal all day. A classmate who’d recently been in a group project with you, Younghoon, asked you by stopping you at your locker with a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.

Because you’re so caught up in the excitement, Minho has to learn of this event through social media, grip turning his knuckles white when he sees that a picture of you and Younghoon in a side hug is your most recent post. He thinks bitterly to himself that you would’ve liked lilies or snapdragons instead and would’ve much rather preferred Haribo sour gummy bears to a cheesy box of chocolates.

He doesn’t know why he’s so irked, to be honest. He thinks maybe it’s because you’ve always attended school functions together as a tradition and you could’ve at least given him a heads up.

However, on the day of the dance, when Minho sees you leaving your apartment through the tiny peephole on his front door, he swears his heart stops. Even through the distorted view of the glass, you look stunning. Your hair is styled and you’re wearing a beautiful floor length gown, but the only thing Minho can think is how you seem to glow. You’re not wearing any makeup but it looks like a fairy came and sprinkled you with glitter and fairy dust. Your million watt smile is just as bright as any other day, but it has Minho’s heart going a mile a minute like he’s seeing it for the first time.

While you spend the night dancing with your supposed prince charming, Minho spends his night at a table sulking. His close friend, Jisung, tries to get him to dance with one of the many girls who are head over heels for him, but he doesn’t have the heart to, telling his friend that he’s just not feeling well.

As Minho downs his sixth glass of punch and crushes the flimsy plastic cup between his fingers, he makes a promise to himself. He promises that from now on, he’ll try his best to make you see him as someone you can spend the rest of your life with. Because maybe all of the 'I love you’s that he’s said to you weren’t a way to express platonic appreciation, but actually are his way of showing how he wants to be able to call you his own and vice versa.

Nothing seems to be catching your attention. You’re quite dense for an eighteen year old. Even his famed flirting and aegyo tactics breeze right by you. Minho swears if he could use one word to describe the whole situation, it would be the infamous r/woosh.

Everyone in your friend group knows about his not-so-little crush, but they’re waiting for him to make a big move. However, Minho’s used all the moves he knows. He’s about to give up hope when a friend suggests a last ditch idea: the silent treatment. That’ll have to get you to notice him.

He never predicted it would be so hard, though. Seeing you in the halls and living right next door to you but not saying a word isn’t as easy as it first sounded. You’re the first person he wants to speak to when he gets a good grade. His finger hovers over your number when he sees anything he thinks you would enjoy doing together (which is pretty often since he basically thinks about you 24/7). You’re the first thing on his mind when he wakes up and the last thing his mind remembers before he goes to sleep.

It’s taking a toll on you too because after a long week, you corner him at his favorite dinner.

Sliding into the booth across from him with a serious expression adorning your face, you inquire, “Did I do something wrong? I swear I haven’t and there was probably just a misunderstanding.”

“No,” Minho denies. “There was no misunderstanding. I just needed some time to clear my head, I guess. Something my friend said really got to me.”

It’s not a complete lie, but Minho would rather be swallowed by a black hole than admit he resorted to something as petty as the silent treatment, especially when it comes to wooing a girl.

“Next time, give me a heads up, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

You change the subject, offering to split a milkshake with him, eyes turning their focus from his face to the menu in front of him. You use your fingers to maneuver the menu around to face you, calling over a waitress. You order a vanilla milkshake with two straws and no maraschino cherry on top: the classic order for the two of you.

Minho hesitantly asks after taking a sip of the cold and sweet milkshake, “Hey, I know we’ve made a lot of promises, but I want you to make me one more.”

When you don’t reply but look at him with attentive eyes and an open heart, encouraging him to feel comfortable and speak his mind, he gets the extra boost of confidence he needs.

“Promise me you’ll give me a chance.”

“What? Wait, a chance at what?”

“I guess I should’ve said, 'give us a chance.’ Go out with me?”

The smile on your face is so bright and full of joy that Minho swears he’ll go blind if he sees it again, but the thought is dismissed when you jump up and reach across the table to pull him into a tight embrace.

Placing a light kiss on the tip of Minho’s nose, causing it to scrunch up in an adorable manner, you whisper, “I promise.”

[v1rg1nvodkasprite]

Hard Liquor Mixed with a Bit of Intellect →Roger Taylor

Summary

Roger had always been known to be hotheaded and fearless whenever it came to fighting but you were known to be worse. A well-known actress with a mind of her own. Roger is intrigued by you and invites you home one night. A month later, you call him and tell him, “I’m having your baby, it’s none of your business. He knows he’s going to pay for this

Warnings: cocaine usage, excessive smoking, excessive drinking, mention of pregnancy, mild smut

Notes: thank u to @rencontre-moi-dans-le-couloir for sending in this amazing idea. i had a lot of fun writing it. enjoy!! x

I opened the pack of Marlboro, taking another cigarette from the box after putting the one that was just in mouth out. The glass of Macallan whisky in my hand was about to run out. The last year had been great for me. Two academy awards under my belt and some others with two signed deals with some of the biggest movie producers in the business.

"Could I maybe get you another?" A long haired blond man asked me. I knew him as Roger Taylor, apparently one of the best drummers in the world and a reputation of having multiple groupies when on tour.

"I can get my own, thanks," I told him, pushing myself from leaning against the doorway. "Wait," he said, grabbing my arm. I turned to him, almost glaring.

"Congratulations on wining... those um awards," he stumbled over his words. I'm sure that probably was the first time someone refused his offer. "Thank you but excuse me, I have another drink to refill."

I smirked, swaying my hips just a little to tease him. Maybe if he tried hard enough, I'd let him in. He was hot and I wouldn't mind playing with him. I just wasn't drunk enough for that yet.

"Y/N L/N!" Is that you?" Freddie Mercury said, in his roaring voice, "Why yes it is. Hello darling, it's been a while.

"Yeah, Fred. It has," I said, hugging him. Freddie and I met at mutual friend's party, throwing back shots and doing lines of cocaine. "How are you, love?" I asked him, smiling.

"Amazing, but I want to know about you. Any men you've done yet? Some I might know?" he asked, looking over my shoulder as he raised his eyebrows. I looked to where his eyes trailed to and was met with a Roger Taylor. I laughed. "Not yet, you know nothing isn't fun without a chase," I smirked.

"Of course, darling. Refill?" he asked, grabbing my drink from me and I nodded. "Friend of Fred's? Funny how we haven't met," Roger said from behind me and I sighed. "Hello, Roger. Yes, how funny," I said, turning to try to find Freddie.

"Let me get you a drink, I promise you won't regret it," he said. "Freddie has got that down already. You're too late," I told him. "Rog! So you've met Y/N, here is your drink. I've got to talk to an old friend but I'll catch up with you later, Y/N?" Fred said, handing me my drink with a wink. I winked back, smirking.

"How about you score some coke and meet me in the limo outside and I'll give you a tour of New York, yeah?" I asked, sipping my drink. "Already got one, I'll grab my jacket and meet you there," he smirked and I nodded.

I left my drink on a table, leaving it to be cleaned up later and got in the limo. "Robert, here's a list of places me and my friend would like to go tonight and then after that take us to mine. I think tonight will be an amusing night," I told the driver after scribbling a list of places down a piece of paper. "Yes, ma'am."

I reached over and took off the lid of the jars of liquor, pouring myself a glass. The car door opened and Roger slid in right next to me. "You ready, Rog," I asked and he nodded, pulling out a small, plastic bag of coke. "Are you ready?" he asked and I smirked, taking the bag from him.

I took a sip of the liquor and then set it down. I grabbed the cross on my necklace, taking it apart and dipping the end of it into the bag. I unbottoned his shirt a little more than it already was, revealing his chest. He looked at me confused, "Got no where to put it," I mumbled to him and he smirked. I pushed him back so his chest was more horizontal and tapped the powder onto him.

I frantically found a credit card and dollar from my purse, straightening out the line. I rolled the dollar up quickly. Making eye contact with him, I lightly licked his chest making him sigh and then snorted the short line. I threw my head back, moaning.

"You're ravishing, sweetheart. My turn," he said, grabbing the end of the broken cross from my neck, doing the same as I did, setting up the line on my thigh. He leaned down, placing a couple kisses right before the line before taking the rolled dollar from the floor and snorted the line.

He groaned, sniffing a bit before going back to kiss my thigh. I smirked, grabbing his shirt and pulled him up to roughly kiss him. He moaned into my mouth and I pulled him closer. Abruptly, I pushed him away, fixing my lipstick.

The limo came to a stop and Tobert came around, opening the door. "Thank you, Robert," I said, slipping him a twenty and he nodded.

"You took me to a ditch?" Roger asked confused and I cocked an eyebrow. "No, I took you to a pub," I told him and he looked at me as if I was crazy. "Sorry, sweetheart but I don't see a pub," he said. I grabbed his hand, leading him down some stairs and knocked on the door.

"Name?" a man asked from behind the door. "Y/N L/N," I told him and the door opened. I had gotten a reputation around here and it wasn't because of my movies or because of the Oscars I had won. "What are we doing here?" Roger asked. I leaned into him, setting my lips against his ear, "You'll see."

There was a small stage in the back of the club that I headed towards, dragging him along with me. I pushed him down in a chair right in front of the stage. I winked at him before turning around, walking up onto the stage, swaying my hips a bit.

I danced slowly, running my fingertips from my hips, dragging them upward. Whistles and howls came from the crowd making me smile. Making eye contact with Roger again, I slowly dropped to the floor and stood up again, pushing my ass out. He shifted slightly in his seat, adjusting his pants. I laughed, getting off stage and grabbing his hand.

"You've got a little something, Roggie," I said, pulling him further into the crowd. "You want to fix it for me, love?" he asked, growling and almost begging. "Maybe later but I still have some more places to show you," I said, kissing his cheek. "Could we hurry it up?" he whined and I laughed. "You're driving me crazy but some how I'm into it," he said, pulling me into a kiss.

I pulled away, licking my lips and smirked. "If you want to hurry this tour up, I suggest we get out of here and move on," I whispered into his ear and he smirked, leading me out of the club.

He opened the door to the limo and I got it, pulling Roger in with me and kissed him roughly. I enjoyed the feeling of his soft lips against mine. I was getting hungrier and hungrier by the second. I pulled away from a whining Roger and tapped on the window. Robert rolled it down, without looking into the back, knowing better that when I had a man in the car that whatever we were doing was most likely not meant to be seen.

"Take us home. I think our tour of New York is over," I said, chuckling as Roger slid his hand up my thigh and kissing my neck. He nodded, rolling the window back up as I turned back to Roger. I straddles his lap, kissing down his neck. Grinding roughly into his lap, I could feel his prominent buldge from underneath me. His soft moans in my ear were like music in my ears.

"Roggie, wouldn't you want to wait until we get back to my place? We'd have so much more fun and time there with all the toys I have," I whispered and he growled, removing me from his lap.

"Then it'd be best if you didn't make me cum in my pants. Then there wouldn't be any fun at all," he said, kissing my cheek.

Once we got home, the sexual tension had built up so much that it couldn't be cut, even with the sharpest of knives. He pushed me up against my door, once he had slammed it closed. Moving us to the bed as quickly as possible.

The rest of the night consisted of three rounds of moaning, groaning and growling. I woke up and Roger was still asleep next to me. I sighed, changing quickly and scribbling down a short note to Roger that I was going to be out for the day and that I expected him to be up and out by the time I got back.

Weeks passed by and I had started to feel sick and my period was late. I was on birth control and had been the night Roger and I slept together. I silently cursed, grabbing a pregnancy test I stashed in the back of my medicine cabinet.

After waiting for a few minutes, I turned over the test after taking it and showing as positive. I sighed, dialing up Freddie. "Hello, darling! What are you doing calling me at this hour," he greeted me. I laughed, "Is Mr. Mercury seriously not up by now? It's 3:00pm."

"Well after the last night I had, it called for some sleeping in and a hangover cure. Now, what can I do for you?" he asked, groaning a bit. "Roger's number, please. I promise to tell you all about our rendez-vous later when you aren't in so much pain," I explained and he laughed. "Sure, darling. Whatever you wish," he told me and then proceeded to inform me of the phone number. I bid my goodbye after saying thank you and quickly dialed up Roger.

"Hello?" he answered, groggily. "Jesus, is everybody sleeping past 12:00 and hung over?" I sighed. "Y/N! I wasn't expecting you to call," he said with a sudden enthusiasm. "Listen, I'm having your baby and it's none of your business," I told him, bluntly. "Woah, wait. This is getting crazy. What do you mean you're having my baby? I think I'm losing it," he mumbled under his breathe. "You're not. You heard correctly. Goodbye Roger," I told him before hanging up, abruptly. "I'm going to pay for this," I mumbled.

taglist

@rrrogah-tayluhh , @simplyvictoria-93 , @johnrichardsondeaconn , @satanspaghetti , @rogersrager , @rogahmtaylah , @johnricharddeaconn

[jlpat82]

Not Our Home

Chapter 7

An shrill blasted penetrated the silence, startling me back to my reality. It had been the fifth one since the doors had closed. I was disoriented, looking around my surroundings. The metal shined brightly as the sunlight poured in the window.

I stumbled over and peered out, the grass swayed in the light breeze. In the distance I saw tall columns, dabbed in various shades of green. Trees, I had seen them in pictures and movies. It was marvel to behold, beauty that I had no words the describe.

I felt my stomach tighten and rumble, I knew what laid a head of me. Part of me wondered since there was little to no radiation how they managed to kill those sentenced to death. Bullets were scarce, and hard to make since the dropping of the bombs.

Other methods that they had used previously to kill those on the death row were no longer available. I had a week to figured out how to escape, or if I even could escape. All while becoming dehydrated and starving, with little to no sleep.

❧

"Sir, the prisoner is awake." The guard informed him. It was time to figure out how this girls little friend was getting in the building, disrupting the flow of things.

The metallic door slid open with a large bang, baldy stepped in waving his lakies away. The door slid closed with another large clang. He walked in towards me as I sat on the metal cot, his eyes concentrated on the window.

"It's amazing, never ceases to surprise me. It only took a couple of years for the trees to come back." His voice was cold, almost disgusted. "We almost had the perfect utopia. Everyone in their appropriate social classes, not mettling. Then you came along."

He finally turned his head toward me, his eyes narrowed. I stayed silent, I didn't know what he was planning but I didn't want to be a part of it. He looked down at me and folded his arms.

"You know, we only took the brightest of lower middle class. Before the bombs dropped, thinking maybe, just maybe it would make all of you smarter in the long run. Remind you guys if it hadn't been for our generosity to your grandparents you wouldn't exists. However, I felt obligated to personally take your dad in." I heard the disgust in his voice, it dawned on me. This man was easily a hundred and fifty. Which meant he was one those genetically modified.

"That's right, little girl, I'm like your little friend out there. The only difference is, I was able to live out my life in luxury. You see I was promised an amazing life if I didn't disarm the nuclear warhead in the bomb. I'm sure had your little friend not been so focused on her he would've noticed." He gloated. "Things ran smoothly for the most part around here, everyone happy in their classes, content. Till you started dabbling in the underground."

"Me?" I was genuinely confused by this.

"Yes, you. Bringing your books and movies top side had a long impact on our society. People talk, and whisper through the community. Telling stories of things you'd bring back to your friends. We let it slide, as at that point it hadn't caused to much trouble. People were still complacent in their dull little lives, that was till Reaper showed up."

"Reaper showing up had nothing to with me."

"Your right, and wrong. Had you not been curious that night and walked the tubes he would never had seen you. He would not have been fixated on you, as you look so much like your grandma. He had to come in, and you just had to make contact with him. Then stories swirled about that outside isn't as deadly as people were lead to believe, if people know that life is capable of surviving out there society will crumble again."

"I was right." I whispered, looking towards the ground. My mind began to tail spin.

"It took hours of persuading your friend Elise to rat you out. Ultimately we had to threaten her family but you get the point. She will be taken care of after we are done with you. We will slowly eliminate everyone you have had contact with, so not to draw any attention."

"You have held us hostage, kept us from a better life because the lot of you are to lazy to do your own work? That's what this comes down to?" I sprang up from my cot yelling, my entire body shook with anger. "You think by getting rid of me that will solve your problem? You think that nobody else will question your ideas of utopia? Your wrong, there will be others like me. Word is already spreading, you can't kill the idea once the doubt is put in their minds."

"How cute, you think this is the first time people have wondered if it's safe out there. News flash child, it's not. We will deal with it as we have always done, destroy the non-believers. We are due for a reduction in numbers anyhow, can't have over population happen. It makes people unhappy once the over crowding starts. Can't have that, unhappy workers make bad decisions."

"You’re a monster." I stated in disgust.

"So is your little friend, how do you think he earned the name Reaper." His lip curled as he smiled at me. "This has been a marvelous chat but I have better things to do now."

I watched as he banged on the metal door and left. I felt sick to my stomach, my chest started to heave. The realization of how bad our society really was hit me like a brick. Lives meant nothing to these people, killing people for having thoughts that didn't conform to their beliefs.

A scream startled me from my thoughts. It was deafening, and inhuman. A hallow metallic sound that chilled you to the core. My heart raced, I sprinted to the window and peered out. I watched as a pair of boots walked passed the window struggling to pull something. Another shrill scream pierced my ears louder then before. I clamped my hands over my ears.

Large pale white hands planted into the soil before my eyes, long talon like nails dug into the soil. The skin was almost translucent white, marred by large bloody blisters. It lowered it's massive head to the ground. It's smooth face was void of any eyes, sunken skin covered the sockets in the skull.

The creatures body was heaving with each heavy breath. It opened its mouth, sharp jagged teeth glistened, its eye teeth absurdly long. The abominations tongue slipped out and graced the ground licking the soil, saliva sticking to the ground.

It's body braced back as it took in a deep breath, that shrill, ear piercing hallowed scream exited it. I winced in response to its call. The thing snapped its head in my direction, I was confused as to how it sensed me.

It lunged at me through the glass, hissing. Pressing its flattened nose against the glass, and started clawing erratically. I instinctively took a step back, it lunged again and shrieked. In horror I heard a small crack and watched as a small fissure appear in the glass that separated us.

The boots came back into view, I heard the zap of electricity. It spasmed, and turned to the boots hissing. The thing slowly crept away from the window, growling. Whatever that thing was, whatever it's genetic make up, it was far from what it had originally been. Years of genetic mutation from radiation had taken its toll.

❧

Sasha waited in the tube as night approached, she didn't know who else to turn to. Reaper had found away into the building surely he could find away to rescue her sister. She had no idea where they housed the condemned, but she knew where the blue prints were contained.

She could see a storm rolling in, the first few droplets twinkled in the fading moonlight. A green light flickered through the night sky, thunder rocked through the tube. Sasha stepped closer to the tube wall, pressing her hands to the cool glass.

Lighting graced the blackened sky, she saw him. Reflecting in the glass, an irrational fear ripped through her body as she spun around. Their eyes locked, confusion etched across his worried eyes.

"They have her." She breathed out, his eyes narrowed.

"Where?" His voiced boomed.

"I don't know, I don't know where they house the condemned." His body began to tense up at her words. "I know where the blue prints are, Julianne found them once. She told me where they are."

"Where?"

"They are deep in the underground." Sasha stated turning walking toward the tube door.

"Do you know where at in the underground?" He asked as they paced through the door, he turned toward the elevator as she had turned to take the stairs.

"Yes, but we need to her bag, it has pepper spray. We're outsiders they will attack us." She watched as he pushed the call button.

"Then let them, you won't need the pepper spray. You will be safe." The doors dinged and slowly rolled open.

"Are you sure?" She asked, stepping in the elevator car.

"Yes." He pressed the U button, the car started its rickety descent downward.  Sasha watched him out of the corner of her eye, he was tense. His hands clenched into fists, causing the veins in his forearms to pop out a bit. She adjusted her weight to her foot farthest away from him.

"You don't trust me." His voice flat, her eyes trained on the door.

"I don't know you, or what your intentions are with my sister. All I know is you've killed at least three people since you arrived, and now I'm standing in a small elevator with you, descending into bowls of darkness riddle with crime and filth. My sister is awaiting death and we have absolutely no plan on how to rescue her and you're worried that I don't trust you?" She scoffed. "Trust is the last thing I'm worried about."

"Trust is needed in any mission." He replied, looking at her.

"The isn't a mission, and I'm not a soldier." She quipped, he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her gently to face him.

"Without trust, you're going to worry that I will hurt you and not those who intend to do is harm. If I don't trust you, you could be leading me on wild goose chase that could get you or I killed. If we fight with each other the odds of us getting to your sister are slim. Trust is necessary."

"Okay, fine, I trust you." She stated, her eyebrow raised. He let go of her, his chocolate eyes bore into her, her body relaxed. She could almost understand why her sister felt at ease. There was something about him. "Why are you fixated on her?"

"She reminds me someone. Reminds me of a woman who gave everything, and expected nothing in return. I wanted to keep her safe, so she could return her family but I failed." He tore his gaze from her, and watched their reflections in the elevator door.

"Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. Trust me I learned a long time ago that you can't save everyone." She looked back the door. "My father said he failed us and my mother when they arrested him. I was tasked to take care her after they took him. Julianne would tell our mother amazing stories of adventures he was going on to get her the help she needed. Our mother thought our dad was on journey went she passed."

"Your father didn't fail though."

"It didn't matter, in his eyes he had. That's the thing, you may see yourself as failure but in reality to her, you weren't." The car started to slow as the number hit fourteen. "Just like no matter what happens from this point on, we won't fail. You can't fail if you don't stop trying."

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[typingtakoyaki]

Juliana,

may the candles light up your wishes

and the moon lay its light on you

may the constellations take away your nightmares

so days won't feel anymore blue

these letters you're about to see,

may remind you of friendships that keep you free

so keep going, wanderess

for the world awaits for seventeen more years of your presence — m.m.m.

———

written by Sarah

Who would have thought that in just one night, we shared our hearts together without hesitations and with full excitement inside that room, we are sitting on top of our green screen cloth that's the very moment I realized I'm going to treasure her.

Happy birthday to the girl who, at first, I feel so intimidated but later on up until now, gained my love & my purest form of care I would give to a sister everyday. I always remember her everytime after I take a bath u wanna know why? because she's the one who taught me to properly cover my hair with the bath towel. All I can say is I'm hoping that as we grow older, we remain friends and sisters.

written by Carl

You've been through a lot, and I really look up you for that. First thing that comes up in my mind whenever I hear "Juliana, Juliana Milanbilen" is a strong independent woman.

As I get to know more about you, I've seen your greatness, your different sides and a lot of things I truly admire—and your fun side's my favorite!

I am beyond grateful that I've met a Juliana Milanbilen. Your baby boy always got your back! All your love, your help and other things we share are truly appreciated. Happy, happy birthday, Ate!

written by Jacques

To the best anchorwoman and one of the faces of Cavite and CALABARZON TV Broadcasting, happiest birthday, Juliana! Two years na tayong magkakilala at kahit tuwing may press con at trainings lang tayo nagkakasama yung nabuo nating bond at friendship ay strong pa rin. Makwento ko lang. Noong DSPC 2018, akala ko talaga grade 11 ka rin o kaya grade 12 pero laking gulat ko noong training na you are a grade 10 student. Hahaha! Kahusay banaman. Our future anchor, never settle. Never settle for less than what you deserve. I know that you are capable of extraordinary things, and it's your purpose to fulfill your visions and dreams. Don't let those go. Rise to them.

Yana, thank you for laughing out loud, listening to my horror stories, those prankish fights, and all those crazy kinds of stuff we did. Thank you for being our light every time both teams were down. I will forever cherish the memories we've made along the way, and I'm looking forward to more. Sana kahit hindi na tayo masyadong magkikita at magkakasama sa mga susunod na taon, hindi pa rin magbabago yung nabuo nating bond sa loob ng dalawang taon. Yana, I just want to remind you that we always got your back, and we are only one call away. I can't wait to see you on TV! Again, happy birthday!!! I miss you! I love you!

written by Matthew

Hello, ate Juliana! Happiest birthday to you. I hope you're doing well. I'm really thankful to have you as one of my ates during my first year in campus journ. I learned a lot from you. We may not have a lot of moments together, but when we do, they're all nothing but genuine. I remember you comforting me while walking on our way home from school after a depressing training. That day, I learned how harsh it is to be in TVB, but I also learned that no matter how harsh it can become, you will always have friends who are there for you during those trying moments. We are a group— a family, after all.

To be a Juliana Milanbilen is to be a fighter. You are, by far, the bravest gal I've ever met, and for that I'll always have you and your character to look up to whenever I feel hopeless. Again, happy happy birthday to the one and only Juliana Milanbilen.

written by Chloe

Happiest Birthday sa aming Juliana Milanbilen. I don't know but the way you say your name, sobrang iconic. Doon pa lang makikilala ka na. It feels like destined ka to stand up and to stand out. Ever since na makilala kita, you were both a "baby" and an "ate" to us. Sobrang tapang mo, pero sobrang humble rin. I know that you'll be great, and even greater pero I still want to wish you the best because I know that you deserve only the best. Lovelots, Juliana. Happy Birthday!

written by Jhester

Hello, Yana!

First of all, Happiest Birthday sa pinakamabait at pinakamagaling na TV Broadcaster na close friend ko! Hindi ko talaga inakala na super magiging close tayo noong sumali ako sa TV Broad! Super dami kong masasayang memories with you! Lalo na 'yong tatlong mumu! Hinding-hindi ko talaga malilimutan ang naging journey ko na kasama kayo! Super-duper grateful ako sayo yanaaa dahil tinuruan mo ako noong una kong sali sa TVB! Sa pagbibigay ng mga ideas at mga advise na sobrang nakatulong sa akin as in! Nandito lang kaming Team NS palagi para sa'yo! Mahal na mahal ka namin yanaaa!!! Miss youuu and see you soon!!! Happy Birthday!

written by Raffy

To our beautiful and woke future anchor/ reporter, intelligent and sweet bunsoo, i wish you a happy birthday!!! Waaah two years may not be long enough but always know that im forever thankful and happy for having u and get the chance to work with u in the field na minahal ko rin. Alam mo naman na isa ka sa pinakaclose kong kaibigan na para nang kapatid kaya sobrang weird din sakin na kung hindi si micka, ikaw yung shiniship sa'kin sa tvb HAHAAHAA!!! I will never forget all the experiences we've shared in NSPC 2019 kasi doon kita mas nakilala at sa tingin ko, doon nagsimula yung matibay na friendship na meron tayo ngayon. Grabe no, sa 2 years na 'yon, na-witness natin lahat ng ups and downs ng isa't isa kasi halos lagi na tayong magkasama.

Sana sa mga susunod na taon, kahit na magkalayo na tayo ay hindi pa rin magbago yung bond at turingan na meron tayo. Please know that i'm always here to help you, support you, and love you as your friend and big brother kahit ano pa man ang mangyari. Sumbong mo agad samin kung sino mang aaway sa'yo kasi reresbakan agad namin HAHAHA djks. I hope na maenjoy mo pa rin ngayon yung araw mo kahit na wala kami riyan kasi grabe sobrang deserve mo na sumaya!! Ayun langg. Huhu sobrang mamimiss talaga kita yanaa. I love youuuu!!! Have a great day!

written by Krissy

Yana, you’ve always been one of the most admirable women I’ve ever met. At such a young age, you’ve managed to face and overcome so much whether it was alone or with the help of people close to your heart. Through all that, I’ve watched you grow and am continuing to witness you become the best version of yourself.

I am so glad to have met a girl whose love for people, for her passions, for life never burns out. I hope you never run out of fire. Happy birthday, baby! I love you forever.

written by Joash

Hello, Juliana! Only a year has passed since we got really close pero sobrang dami na agad nangyari. Tbh, I'm a little sad because we don't talk much these days and because I feel like I suck at being a friend. Pero as your forever cancer boi, I wanna let you know that I'm always here for you no matter what. Even if we don't talk much, please know that I do think about you and I still care. Actually, sometimes, I still feel like sending you a new song na feel ko magugustuhan mo hahahaha.

Anyway, happy birthday to you, sunshine! I hope you find the peace that you were always looking for and I pray that it stays. There were challenging times and there always will be but I pray that you remain strong as a person and with your faith so that you may overcome it all. Continue being the compassionate yet adventurous soul we've always known. I'll take you for coffee anytime, magsabi ka lang. Love you!

written by Micka

Staying strong in a constantly changing world is called courage, and you might just be the embodiment of it. I have seen you struggle on one foot but still chose to step forward by the other. And when I think superhumans aren't real, I remember you and convince myself I'm wrong — because I didn't just meet one, but also shared moments with — and that, for me, is a blessing.

Juliana, you are a woman fit for love and I sincerely hope you never run out of it even if the world refuses to give it to you. I'm sorry if there are things time don't seem to mend, but I promise I will always be here to put a band-aid on your wounds and make you forget it was ever there at least. Our friendship is the sisterhood I never thought I needed, but as soon as it came, I always prayed that your kind of blessing is what God showers me more of.

Happy birthday to you — the love that keeps growing, keeps healing, and keeps inspiring. You may forget about other days, but I hope you always remember this one. I love you.

#Julianais17

[englishfrensh]

Chapitre 2

Austin: I am already done my morning workout.

Austin:What happened here?

Mother:Oh wiliam, i knocked over one of the paint cans ! I knew that was going to happen

Father: Honey, i have to finish painting this staircase,potential buyers need to see it. In all its glory

Mother:That won't help, let the buyers decide what to do with it.

Austin: Mom, dad, what buyers are u talking about?

I promised i'd repair the hall, and the staircase too right after.

I have to take care of the disaster first, clean up the paint and put away the can.....

....

Austin:it looks like the paint is all gone ! It a good thing the bookcase didn't get splattered, look at all this books. There's even a complete Butlers Herald collection.

Austin : Dad, don't you worry the bookcase might collapse soon? I can put in a new one.

Dad: The bookcase work just fine for me, there isn't much room, but i can put so many things on top, and on the floor next to it.

Austin: i guess chaos and messes are just part of dad's life now.

I am sure life wilk be much better once he has a new bookcase

Austin: the old wallpaper spoils the view too.. I think it was hung before i was ever born. So the wallpaper is a must. So wallpaper is a must !lets makes this hall nice and cozy so my parents will reconsider selling the room.

Dad: you ordered a new bookcase even after we talked? I told u i was fine with the old one...

Dad :Is that beech? Nice wood.. Smells good too, the shelves are spacious... And the books look great. All right ! I can stay i guess there's no point returning it's to the store

Austin: i am glad we didn't listen to my dad, the new bookcase transformed this area, and he's happy, well done by us.

We are't done yet? Something's missing here...

Of course, i say we lay a new rug in front of the armchair, so dad's feet don't get cold during the long winter nights

The wallpaper ia great,is looks good enough for magazines

We aren't finished yet, but it definetly worth half spread

Let's wallpaper the rest of the room.

So much better,huh? Now the walls looks modern and don't feel embarassed about inviting friends over.

It time to take care of the floor.

Mother : what are u going to do with the floor. ? There'is nothing wrong with this.

Dad :If u have anything to do, you can catalog my collection of toys cars or organize my business cards alphabeticaly

Austin : Mon, Dad !can't you see humongous cracks? Walking on this parquet will put u in the hospital.

Dad: Nonsense ! The floor is absolutly fine, it'll last for handred years. Let me show u...

Mom: oh, Wiliam, are u okay?

Dad : i am fine, but the floor isn't....anymore.

Austin, Mom, Dad, don't worry, i will fix the floor, trust me. The floor will never let u down again.

Fantastic, the floor 50 years younger.

You know, the floor brings back on many memories.

Something you'd go to the kitchen and hear it squeak, almost as if it was complaining about its life

And that's the board i used to hide my treasure when i was a kind, baseball cards and superbuttler comic books

The floor turned out great, even, beautiful and most important.

Dad won't be making any more holes in it.

Dad : a rug ? Why do i need one ? I've always been fine whithout one. Austin : dad, armchairs should always have a rug next to them. That's we were laught at the Institute of modern Butlers. Take a seat and enjoy.

Dad : okey, okey, but i don"t understand what it's ll change.

Dad : Not bad, soft and cozyi think i will stay here a little longer to read the paper.Austin, can u move the lamp stand a bit closer ?

Austin : oups, looks like just dead....dad don't worry, we will fix the lighting situation.let's install wall light in the book corner.

Look at dad's corners now, cozy and bright.

Dad : hear that Austin,Mike butler bought an island. In the hebrides, that s the life.

By the way where exactly is the hebride ? .

Austin: Maybe exactly next a old hebride.

Wiliam : i'll go to look it up in the encyclopedia.

Austin : We should get a globe. He loves staying on of what's going on in the word.and a globe is more interactive to an encyclepedia.

It turns out a new hebrides are near Australia. Where made me think ylthey were off thz Florida Coast ?

That's because we didn't have a globe Austin.

So in 1848, ships named the Terror were icebound near king Wiliam's island,were is it that ?

The armchair is a dinosaur and like all dinosaur, it belongs in the history books. You want to know what we'll remplace it with. Oh i thought of a gift that would be the perfect finishing touch !

No. Don t even ask me. I'm silent at the grave. Let'll be a surprise for u too.

Dad : A rocking chair ! I'm speachless , son, i've been wanting one for so long...oh u made me so happy.

Austin : wouldn't yu agree that this whole reading area is must cozier ? Maybe you w'll reconsider selling the house now ?

Dad : what.. Are u trying to bribe me with this rocking chair ? It's that's the case. I can't accept it.

Austin : how could say something like that ? The chair is my present to u. I hoped that all the changes in the hall would change your mind.

Dad : i dont know.. I feel bad selling the house. We've lived here our whole life. And now this gergeous book corner...on the other hand, one redone part doesn't fix the whole hall. So, i'm sorry son. Thanks for the rocking chair, i'll take it whith me to our new apartement when we sell the house

Austin : Such a shame ! I really thought, i could make dad change his mind.

It not over yet, i can still get the work on mom

It's so late tonight but tomorrow let's start bright and early in her favourit spot, the lounge area !

Today just flew by. Lets go to sleep.

Three hours later...

Mother : Austin, darling.. Time to wake up.

Austin : Please just five more minutes.

Mother : No my dear, the new owner is here and its time to leave. We already have everything packed up. It's just u and your parrot left.

Austin : what are u talking about ? What owner ?

Dad : you dont remember, we sold the house yesterday

Austin : this can be hapenning !!!! Nooooo

[eternallybroken7604-blog]

We have been up for 2 days. I accepted years ago that this has to be part of my life. He's a package deal. But I am so tired. I do it with him. Idk y. I don't enjoy it most times. But I'm also afraid and to sleep while he's up. I learned not to the hard way.... A part of me wants my life back. My before life. But I know it will be the fight of my life. And I'm not ready. I sometimes tell myself that this was God's plan. I believe that each of us have at least one person that they are mentally to impact in some way and set in motion a positive path. Or bring a lost soul to God. God made me strong and brought me this man. He had to put me thru it to equip me to be wha this man needs. Maybe I'm the only one capable of sticking this journey out with him and bringing him out other side with me. That's why my addiction is so odd. My husband gets locked up from time to time, and when he's gone, I don't do any dope, I smoke my weed. But with the dope, he does my shots, from start to finish. He twirls the bowl. I don't want to know how. I tried once, he got arrested at the end of an 8 month horrendous, traumatizing bender. Suddenly my person is gone and I've been up for weeks. I tried to do it myself. I had the audacity to tell him about it at visitation, because he has always hated doing my shots. He feels enough guilt over where my life is and where it was. He's scared that bnb if I die, he will go to prison. So I always take sure my prints are on it too. He's not ready to even see that he needs to change. I can see that it weighs on him sometimes. And he will want to do better. But then he has no way to stop the guilt, the pain, self hatred. The high and associated relief are his constant and a very erratic life. I'm aware of all this and more. I'm aware I could be completely wrong and he really is just a piece of shit junkiethat destroy a family by joining it. I can't even fault him for that. My kids adored him. And he them. He had a family finally. He was know where near ready to be a step dad. But he gave it an honest try. Then again maybe I just rrwa lly ne ed there to be a greater purpose beh9nd all this, losing my babies, my self respect, my family. Everything.

I can't hate him for being selfish and out for number one, it's all his life has really ever been. I can see what drives everything about h, I study him cause I have never met someone that level of addicted. I cant explain why his thought processes fascinate me, I have to study them til I understand them. Which is hard to do because it's so complex and I'm juggling moneyissues, homelessness, the hustle, him in general, and the dope. The more I learn him, the more pity I feel and I cant leave. I love him to a fault, but I am not ready to abandon him to his demons. He won't survive it with any sort of sanity. He would argue with me on that but it's the one thing I believe with no doubt, he does need me. I think he knows it deep down. He knows I'm 100% on his side. Even if he dont like how at times. He knows I'm real. Even if he tells u I'm not. It's like his pride and years of telling me in so inferior refuse to allow him to recognize anyachievements, no matter the size. I know this but I forget every time we fight, cause it's his defense mechanism with me, it's about the only thing that works. He will reach I to the depths of cruelty and verbally destroy me. He knows what hurts me too. He has left scars that will never go away. I will never forget his eyes and voices and the feeling of my own pain at things he has said. My first husband beat me, that's not how u hurt me. The act of being able to hurt me, that really hurts. My now husband has gotten physical a few times. I cant hate him for it long because I see how much he hates himself for it. But that pride tho, he wont apologize verbally, but he will show me best he can that he's sorry. He knows I deserve better. He went thru a phase where all the blame was put on me for not leaving when it first started, woth the dope and us losing the kids. I tell myself I pushed him too far. It's no excuse I know. But I know how much weighs on him daily, and when substances are u introduced, well I am the embodiment of a large portion of his pain and stress and guilt. I forgive him because I know he's not mentally able to deal with all that and day to day life without help. To stubborn to ever agree with me but I just k ow I'm right. Cant explain that but it's never led me wrong. I shoulder as much as he will let me. And getting high and drunk and my mouth can sometimes push him too far, exacerbates things.

I knew he was a 'recovering' addict when we met. But he only smoked weed when I met him. I thought all that was his past. I didn't mind weed. I didn't personally smoke when we met. I was a divorced mom to 3. We were all finally happy and stable after my horror of an ex-husband. Idk y I fell in love with this man. But I did. He was my first serious relationship in the 2 years since. I never even missed sex, I wasn't lonely. I didn't miss that kind of love until...I was reminded.

8 mos later, we have a place together with my kids. Then a neighbor moved and offered my husband dope. He hid it for a little bit. But I picked up on his different behaviors and made him tell me. Then I wanted to smoke some too. I'd heard of Meth. But I grew up very sheltered by a pill head. I didnt know that when this gorgeous man told me he used to be an addict that he meant thousands of dollars and many hears of hardcore IV drug use. Herion, bar salts. His drug of choice was simply, more. He named his addiction Maria. He needed that relief so badly that once he discovered its power to 'fix' things, he personified his addiction. Maria has been his stability. Shes lways there when everyone else let's him dow. I can understand the desire not to feel. So badly u wanna die. But I was raised different. U can be weak, but dont stay weak. .

But by the time I realized that he didn't recover from his addictions, he fled his former home state and had no access to those things here. He was big on the run big ti.e qhen we met. Hes a hardened city boy. I'm a small town countrygirl. He let me smoke with him. A week later, hes got a needle. I have never seen a pill snorted. I wanted him to let watch him and he did. Seeing the man I love so in thrall to drugs, it broke my heart for him. Women pray to God to see a man look at them with that look. His addiction borders worship. As I write this we are also high with a few friends, he just finished fixing his shot and has decided to ask them to film him. I cant keep going. Thats bothers.me and ill to tore up now to try to figure out my feelings. So I'll wrap this up. My emotions are going every where and I really hate him like this. I hope he watches his video and hates himself. I love him and wint leave him to feel all that guiltalone, that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to feel most of it. God knows I feel my fair share. I promise myself one thing, I will not live like this forever. I'll keep looking for my way out. I'll keep praying for strength to leave. Or for God to open his eyes. I know better than to preach too much at him. He usually shuts down as soon. as he realizes what I'm saying. But I still try. He doesn't know it yet, cause he has never felt it before, but I love him enough for this. I will win this fight. Even if he hates.me in the end. (Forgove any typos, I'm intoxicated and when I get adamant about a topic, I type too fast)