#mostly desperate

[anti-cupid]

Guys. If u see father grego headcanon posts. GIVE THEM TO KE PLEASE. PLESAAASSEEREERR PLEASE

I e onl found one so far... I nwed more.... Need more FOOD .....

[isbergillustration]

[pinkseas]

thinking about. how siffrin seems to have declined so, so much more rapidly than loop did. and part of me thinks it's because of the objective- loop had the clear, unchanging goal of beating the king, where siffrin was able to accomplish that much earlier on and was struggling to find ways to move forward in the aftermath. but.

siffrin has loop there. talking to them, helping them remember, helping to keep them sane. a safety net of sorts, someone to fall back on, someone to depend on at least in the specific context of the loops. loop didn't have that. loop had absolutely nothing and no one but themselves. if they forgot, if they started slipping, if they lost sight of their goal- all of vaugarde was doomed. they couldn't afford to lose hope. they couldn't afford to slow down or take a break or rest for even a moment, because if they'd stopped moving forward, they'd have fallen apart, and then what would happen to vaugarde? to themselves? to their party?

siffrin's lack of clear direction for so long definitely contributes very heavily to their breakdown, i just. keep thinking about how loop Did Not Have That Choice. how easy it is to imagine that after a countless number of loops, after finally achieving their ONE goal, their ONE purpose, it's over they're free they're finally, finally free. after forgetting everything about themselves and their party, forgetting everything except for the fact that they have to defeat the king, they've done it. and then they wake up again.

the despair!!! the hopelessness!! the loneliness!!!

if they'd gone into that fight thinking "this might not be the end, i have to keep my guard up," i think they could've gone on for an eternity. but in defeating the king, they can stop. they can rest they can breathe they can relax that's it!! they're done!!!!! and in finally stopping, that really is it. they can't pull themselves together enough to keep trying, now that they know defeating the king isn't it. i dont know that there was enough of them left that they could've even tried again. their entire reason for existing rendered useless, meaningless in the context of the way they're trapped.

and they STILL don't actually give up!! they could've wished to die. for everything to just be over. but they didn't want that. they wanted to be saved. they wanted to keep existing, to keep going, to stay with their friends they wanted vaugarde to be saved they wanted everyone to be okay!!! themselves included!!!!!!!!!

and then, because of them, vaugarde is saved. their party is saved. siffrin is saved. every last person is saved, except for them.

[bet-on-me-13]

Ghostly Host AU

So! Ghosts need a physical Anchor in the living world, or they are liable to fall apart and fade away if they stay for too long.

In Amity Park, this usually isn't too much of a problem. Sure most Ghosts can't stay for a week without a Host, but the ambient Ecto-Levels in Amity Park are enough that they can stay for a few days or so at a time with little worry.

This changes however, during Reign Storm.

When Pariah Dark awakens, Tens of Thousands of Ghosts use the Fenton Portal to escape the Rule of Pariah Dark, running away into the Human Realm.

If Amity Park had stayed where it was, this would have been fine. They could have stayed in the Living Realm for a few days, and maybe the Weaker ones would need to find a temporary Host, but that was fine since Amity was filled with thousands of Liminals.

Unfortunately, Pariah Darks first move was to suck Amity Park into the Ghost Zone, alongside all of the Ecto-Energy that had accumulated there.

Now left trapped in the Living Realm with no way back to the Zone, thousands of Ghosts suddenly needed Hosts or they would start dying off by the Hundreds. In a Panic, they spread out across the Planet in search of viable Hosts.

Any normal Person wouldn't do, they needed a Living Being that could actually handle their Power, or someone who matched their Soul. Preferably both. Liminals were the best since they had a durable Body and a Malleable Soul, so any Ghost could use any of them as a Host.

But outside of Amity Liminals were very rare, and finding someone who matched their Soul was time-consuming and hard. Thankfully, in recent years the population of Aliens, Metahumans, Enhanced Soldiers, and even extra durable baseline Humans had spiked across the world.

All across the planet, People suddenly found themselves stuck with a new Passenger in their Bodies.

Those new passengers thankfully weren't malicious, for the most part, but it was still annoying. The only good thing was that they now had new Powers, which neat.

They could summon the Ghosts in their Body outwardly, and then command the Ghost to use their Powers in whatever way they wanted. Only other Hosts could see another person's Ghost, which meant they looked very awkward to normal people when they fought. Generally, Hosts seemed to act more strangely after getting a Ghost, as if they lost a few of their Inhibitions.

Why did they feel the sudden need to strike a flamboyant Pose? Or over dramatically scream?

[sunderwight]

Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.

Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.

Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)

After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...

Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?

But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!

Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)

But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.

He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.

Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!

Except.

Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!

Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.

Except...

Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?

He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.

Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.

Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.

Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.

But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.

The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.

Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?

What's weirder, though, are the rumors.

It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.

What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.

Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!

But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?

SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.

That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.

But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--

Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.

But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.

It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.

SY is stunned.

Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?

Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.

Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.

Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.

He takes the veil off himself.

Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.

Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!

There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.

Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.

Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?

They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...

Oh what the hell!

Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.

[c6jpg]

GENSHIN IMPACT ⟡ an everlasting dream intertwined

[celestial-castiel]

decided to rewatch an early spn episode and FUCK s1-Dean gives me the craziest gender envy, it's so unfair

like??

the bed-head too omg

why am I not shaped exactly like that man. feels unfair

[smallenoughtopurr]

One of my headcanons is that Adam only calls Lawrence "Larry" when he's pissed. It's not an affectionate nickname it's a warning. When Adam wants to be sincere and vulnerable it's "Lawrence 🥺" but when he starts calling him Larry then Lawrence knows he's in for it.

[lambmotifz]

What make you think Dean is not a bottom?

i’ll never understand why 99% of spn fandom are so convinced he is a bottom with men when he’s canonically 1) straight (he said so himself multiple times, also jensen confirmed it) 2) homophobic (he HAS said things that are kinda homophobic and since he’s not canonically not straight, those things are just homophobic) 3) if we’re talking about wincest then it couldn’t be more obvious from their canon interactions that his primal urge is to possess/control sam in every aspect, including physically, and also regain control that john took away from him when he was younger (which also explains his repressed enjoyment of violence & sadism that he’s ashamed of). i often see shippers say that he “just wants to submit and be vulnerable” but i don’t get that vibe from him at all, especially when it comes to sam. on the contrary he is often shown to be physically violent with sam and he goes unhinged every time he loses a bit of control over him (which partly comes from his unhealthy obsession with the ideal version of sam). he enjoys having that power/control over sam because it gives him the feeling of stability, he feels confident when he knows sam belongs to him. also just because he lets women take the lead in bed doesn’t mean it’d be like that with sam because dean has completely different needs when it comes to their dynamic

[fabbyf1]

Give Him Something (To Believe In)

Sometimes, Oscar liked to be dominant. He wanted the push and pull of power between him and Max. He enjoyed taking charge of the situation and fighting to be on top, to come last, and to be the big, strong alpha dog.  

But sometimes he also liked it like... this. 

Where Max called the shots, and made his decisions for him, and touched him where he needed it the most. 

He didn’t have to pick one role and stick with it.

He didn’t always have to be daddy.

OR: The surprise return of the lestappen+guest series that I swore I'd never write for again. Max and Charles take care of Sad Oscar™ after a shitty home race.

Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen/Oscar Piastri | 10k | Read on AO3

[firestorm09890]

before June 985 comes you guys should know that this

does happen in Demian (1919 novel)

and these premonitions do hold weight. something terrible does happen... and it's World War I

[buggachat]

Ok I know this is kinda specific but does anyone have some recs for established relationship lovesquare fics that have a conflict that goes beyond just an identity misunderstanding? Like it’s already post-reveal or a reveal alone can’t fix it? Like they have an argument or some drama happens or something and they have to solve it together as a couple? I don’t know what I’m saying but I go wild for that stuff but it’s hard to search for

[sideswipesjetpack]

Slight robogore

Sideswipe food come eat

[freyholland]

im obsessed with how teenage Misty tries so hard to mask and mirror the people around her but it's that usual autistic funhouse mirroring where everything is just slightly off and wrong and so people find her extremely off-putting and even creepy and it ends up making things worse than if she'd just been fully herself to begin with. i love that with adult Misty you can see that she's basically stopped masking and allows herself to be as weird and quirky as she wants to be - but she still mirrors the people she loves (primarily Nat) because that's such a huge part of how she's learned to interact with others. also like that they gave her a pet parrot in obvious reference to that. she learned mirroring as a survival strategy but now it's become her love language

[sandeewithtwoe]

@chuliann

“He sees the relationship (friend) as positive”

Wiki belongs to PaintedHen

Transcript:

To Wiki: Are Wiki sans and Blue sans friends?

Wiki: He-

Blue: HELL YEAH WE ARE!

[r-aindr0p]

Aight...... I think it's time to finally go through book 6 in one go... (or as far as possible at least)

I'm still not ready but I can't stall any further