#munbonding

[winreyplace]

Soulbonding is not just Spiritual/Metaphysical.

Disclaimer: I want to preface this by saying that I am not trying to deny anyone's experiences or invalidate different interpretations. I fully accept, support, and believe individuals about their soulbonding, whatever it may be. The following is more about the revisionism I've seen around what soulbonding is, what it originally meant, and how it's been used in the community since then.

For some years now, this post has been simmering inside of me, and I think it's finally time to let it loose. I've noticed that every time I go looking for resources and community around soulbonding on Tumblr, Discord, etc., there has been a heavy emphasis on soulbonding being a spiritual/metaphysical experience, which is not entirely the full picture. The fact is, there are multiple ways to approach soulbonding, and one such perspective is that of thoughtforms. Thoughtforms are psychological constructs that become real, autonomous, living entities through the power of creative imagination, conscious or subconscious intent, and the thoughts, feelings, and knowledge of the host. This type of soulbonding is the kind Mel and I practice, yet it is often overlooked and overshadowed within the modern remnants of the soulbonding community.

The exclusive focus on soulbonding as a spiritual phenomenon is not only revisionist of its original history, but it also may be excluding people who are already soulbonders (in a thoughtform way) and just don't know it or who would jump at the chance to love, connect with, and understand a character until they are alive. If we bring back the broadened definition of soulbonding that includes all experiences and perspectives, we have the potential to help the soulbonding community survive and thrive with a new crowd of selfshippers, creatives, immersive daydreamers, neurodivergents, and more!

The concept of soulbonding, though coined by Amanda Flowers in the Just for Writers mailing list, is a phenomenon which has long existed for writers and lovers of fiction: that fictional characters—when created, written about, and understood until the level of affinity—will often take on a mind of their own, "coming to life" inside the individual's head, and start interacting with them in a more direct capacity.

One study from the early 2000s referred to it as "The Illusion of Independent Agency" According to the study, 92% of the 219 participants reported that their fictional characters displayed varying levels of independence or autonomy in the author's mind, often without the conscious effort of the author. Another study conducted in 2014 surveyed 1,500 readers of fiction, with 19% of them mentioning experiencing the voices and personalities of characters staying in their minds long after finishing their stories. A quick search on the topic of "characters coming to life" shows writers and roleplayers, both of fanfiction and original fiction, sharing their experiences of characters seemingly telling their own stories or becoming "real" in their minds. Renowned authors such as Phillip Pullman, Cornelia Funke, the TERF who shall not be named, and so many more have also discussed their characters speaking to them or taking on a mind of their own as they write about them.

Now, I'm uncertain where interpreting soulbonding as a primarily spiritual phenomenon came from. I did find a few people initially involved in the JFW mailing list who were aware of and supported both spiritual and psychological theories. (It is worth noting, however, there were some regrets over calling it "soulbonding", for it implied a purely spiritual connotation when it was never meant to be strictly that.) Based on my research, I believe the main source of this misunderstanding of being a primarily metaphysical phenomenon is the description given by fictionkin.org, fromfiction, and the soulbonder Tumblr blog (all run by the same individual presenting themself as a pillar in the community) who seemed adamant on redefining soulbonding to mean being a channeller or medium of external entities.

Regardless of when spiritual soulbonding first got introduced, we psychological soulbonders have always been a part of this community from the beginning (arguably, we were the beginning), and we deserve to have our perspectives and ties to this community, this framework, this terminology, respected as much as any other kind of soulbonder. Please, if you discuss soulbonding, keep in mind the origins of this concept and strive to be inclusive of all interpretations and explanations. Clarify where you can that what you are writing is just your personal experience/interpretation, one of the many within this unique phenomenon.

To any spiritual soulbonders out there, I want to assure you that your experiences are real and valid, just as viewing them as thoughtforms is real and valid. If that idea—of "soulbond" meaning both spiritual/metaphysical and thoughtform—distresses you, it may be worth considering whether a different label with a more narrow definition that aligns with your interpretation might be a better fit. Whether a soulbond is a fictional character "come to life" or "an external entity traveling across the universe like spirits", what truly defines their realness and validity is the impact they have on our lives, how much they care for us, and how deeply we feel for them, not their point of origin.

[masochist-mouse]

ASKING PEOPLE TO BE NICE ON TWITTER EXPERIMENT (FAILED)

[soupofcryptids]

I love you, those who don’t fit the societal norm

I love you, those who dress alt

I love you, physically disabled folk

I love you, neurodivergent/mentally ill/mentality disabled folk

I love you, non human folk

I love you, plural folk

I love you, maladaptive daydreamers and immersive daydreamers

I love you, those who use create/experience alterreality

I love you, voluntary systems,kins,bonds etc

I love you, everyone who has been outcasted for existing, you are welcome in our hearts <3

[soulbond-cafe]

So... Why Soulbond, Anyway?

Hi, everyone. Nice to meet you. I'm one of Vennie's soulbonds. I didn't come here through metaphysical means or anything spiritual like that (though those types of soulbonds are valid also - we just don't experience it that way personally). Rather, I'm one of her living characters from her stories!

She has a lot of living characters, but only a handful of soulbonds. Me, my brother, our parents, a friend of mine, and then two newer 'bonds from another place are all the soulbonds she has as of right now.

What makes us different is that most of her living characters don't really interact with her much outside the paracosm they live in. We, however, are interested in this world and specifically interested in maintaining a relationship with her.

Why?

We all have our different reasons. Mine is probably the most "cut and dry", as you call it in this world: I'm lonely.

I get extremely bored during my day back home and often people aren't very nice to me where I come from. And while she is my author and did make my story in a sense, it's not entirely her fault. Yes, I have my own traumas and I suppose you could say they're "because of her", but really... no. She didn't pick me specifically to bear the weight that I do. Her plans for me as a character were very different than how I actually am and how my story actually goes. Independent agency, they call it.

Anyway, the reason I am her soulbond (munbond, though I understand that term is more niche) is simply because she's my friend. I enjoy talking to her. I like her company and I assume she likes mine.

[sssssaarn]

Why "soulbond" instead of "fictive"?

Hi, I'm starting a little writing series, to hopefully spark some more activity inside of the soulbonding tags! You can either reblog/comment on this post with your answer (even if it's just a simple, one sentence like "I don't use it because I don't like how it sounds") or just make your own post!

Anyways, here is my (very personal) reasoning for why I don't like using the term "fictive" for my soulbonds.

This question for me is a bit interesting, because fictive in the modern day plural community may have come from the soulbonding community (although who exactly coined fictive is still up for debate). But, even though it may have roots in the soulbonding community, I still don't exactly like using it for my soulbonds.

Essentially, for me, it boils down to how "fictive" has been used to harm my soulbonds and I in the past.

I have not been very quiet about how damaging it was to my soulbonds when I was trying to force myself to be a "true plural". Although I know the communities I was apart of were a small minority, and there were some terms that I have found to be helpful even in the modern day (off the top of my head, blurring and fragments). Ultimately, I think the word "fictive" and how it was used against my soulbonds is the epitome of this damage, which is why I just cannot get myself to describe my soulbonds as "fictives".

(For the next parts, I am emphasizing the fact that these are personal experiences that have led me to not like using the term for my soulbonds -- I do not care if you yourself use it.)

Firstly, fictive in these communities had the connotation of being source separated, or at least working towards source separation. The assumption being you could not exist as a source-connected fictive and still be happy and healthy. This heavily damaged my two soulbonds at the time, doubly so because these communities had rules against number names -- but one of my soulbonds, 049, hated all of the names he had use in order to even participate in these communities. He lost the most core parts of himself trying to be a "good fictive".

He was expected to source separate, even when he didn't want to, even when his source memories made him happier; he was expected to change his name, even though he had more positive associations with that name than negative ones, even when it felt like his one and only true name. This heavily tainted our view of the term fictive.

Secondly, because of the expectation of source separation, this also led to another assumption; that my soulbonds, their memories, their identities, were not "real". (And later, that they were less "real" in comparison to fictives with spiritual origins.)

I already struggled with connecting to the term soulbonding because of the overwhelming majority of soulbonders who had defined it to me in the past as a primarily spiritual phenomenon. It was only after being pointed to the soulbonding carrd, and reading about Winrey Place's term munbonding, was I finally able to reconnect with my psychological soulbonds, and understand them as actually being the characters they were -- regardless of their origins.

But those older communities had planted the seeds of doubt in my head, that my psychological soulbonds were not really those characters -- they were "just fictives" that needed to "source-separate"; otherwise, it was unhealthy (sometimes even implied to be out right dangerous) to both themselves and others around them.

So, because of that, I just cannot bring myself to call them "fictives". The only exception being if one of my soulbonds likes fictive over soulbond. But I won't force fictive on them like I had before ever again.

[butch-selfship]

When you reconnect with an old F/O who you liked for a long time but thought you never formed a soulbond of, only to suddenly hear a giggle in headspace:

[winreyplace]

Lav: AAAAA! Thank you so much for bringing myself, Charlton, and Eliot to life in your style. I love the rich colors you use, the expressions on our faces, the clothes are fantabulous, and overall it feels so us ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა ! I am SO happy with my commission, thank you thank you thank you so much, you were wonderful! My Eliot and Charlton love it too and they feel like you represented them so well!

Everybody, go check out this lovely artist and their work!

commission for @winreyplace !

[itsokimnotrealeither]

It's also worth noting that like...there's nothing saying you have to figure out exactly what term applies or doesn't apply in your situation. Sometimes it's just "there's a guy in my head that I really appreciate" and further detail is irrelevant. If you find yourself spinning your wheels over nitty-gritty terminology, just remember that the Guy In Head police aren't going to come for you for taking a step back and not defining your experiences in terms of other people's words.

We were talking about thoughtforms in The Otherconnect Discord Server and I wanted to share this (with permission!)

[wonderlightdaydreams]

Alterreality Coining Post 2.0

On August 9th, 2023, I posted “AlterReality: A Coining Essay”. The purpose of that post was to coin a term that describes my personal experience while getting out my thoughts on metaphysics, imagination, and perception in writing. However, due to the personal nature of that essay, I wanted to make this post in collaboration with Lav (@WinreyPlace) and others to clearly and plainly state what alterreality is. While it is a broad term, there are limits to what it does and does not include.

As defined by someone else in the alterreality server: “Alterreality is a process of creating one’s unique sense of reality via imagination and belief. It can be described as a lifestyle or a philosophy, with one central idea: what makes something ‘real’ is nothing but the belief that it is real.”

Another definition Lav gave was “imagination as a lifestyle”. Alterreality can also be interpreted as daydreaming or imagination-based fantasies overlaying or interacting with consensus reality.

What alterreality covers:

Many experiences of those in the self-shipping community, such as going on dates with your f/o in the “real world”

Adding a fantasy narrative to your life (i.e. tests at school becoming monster fights) as long as you choose to believe in the fantasy narrative as part of your perceived reality

Many experiences are classified as roleplay, again, as long as you choose to incorporate the roleplay into your perception of what’s happening in your own life

What alterreality doesn’t cover:

Involuntary spiritual, psychological, or metaphysical experiences 

Any alternative reality experiences you were born with or had awakened within you

Identifying as something while living a non-altered life (i.e. if you’re wolfkin and you are going to mundane human school while only experiencing that physical reality, that's not alterreality)

Manifestation and law of attraction concepts. Alterreality, while it interacts with the shared reality we all experience, doesn’t change its course; instead it builds onto or reframes it. Alterrealizing should not and does not make struggles in consensus reality disappear or cause the universe to provide a more positive life. 

In short, alterreality has three aspects: intentionality, imagination, and belief. Alterreal experiences are incredibly varied and diverse; however, they all require these elements. 

Now, with the above fully explained, let’s understand the why and how. Starting with the why.

There are infinite reasons as to why one would alterrealize their own life. I do it because I find mundane existence to be boring, and I want to engage with something that is beyond mundane human life without believing in anything, particularly spiritual or supernatural. Any reason is a valid reason to create alterreality. You can do it for fun, as a coping mechanism, to connect better with your alterhuman identities, because you love fictional characters or worlds, to help you understand complex things better, as a tool of exploration, personal growth, and creativity, and so much more. You don't even need to have a why at all! There is nothing wrong with fucking around and finding out with your life :3. 

In terms of how to do alterreality, I repeat, there is no one way. I’m still figuring out all the ins and outs of doing it myself. But my best piece of advice is to give yourself permission to fully live inside of whatever fantasy narrative you choose to and let yourself believe in it. This can sometimes be a demanding or difficult process, especially if everyone and everything around you is conforming to consensus reality, but just like they find meaning existing in consensus reality, you are allowed to find meaning existing in alterreality! Another way to phrase all this is to just “fake it until you make it”. Ask yourself questions like  “What world or narrative do I live in?”, “What form does my alterrealized self take?”, “How would I act and speak in my alterreality?”, “What would my tasks, goals, or challenges be?”, and things like that. If you cannot do something in shared, mundane reality for whatever reason, make-believe a reason why you cannot do it in your alterreality too! As you develop your alterreality and discover what works and what doesn’t for your brain, you’ll find it will come more naturally to live out your imagination-fueled life. 

This world is in desperate need of whimsy and wonder. While there are various ways to make your life more whimsical, there are not many that involve actively living a lifestyle of fantasy. In a world where time is a finite resource, where the “have-tos” outweigh the “want-tos”, and where playing pretend is shunned once you age out of childhood, alterreality is a way to live in the physical realm, while embracing the fantastical. So, what are you waiting for, step into a world of your wildest dreams!

[winreyplace]

Munbonding Coining Post

We, Mel and Lav, have known we're in the minority of the modern soulbonding community for quite some time. It seems like many in the community have shifted their views, making it harder for those of us who see our soulbonds as mental creations instead of a spiritual or metaphysical experience to find our place. To help create a space that resonates more with our perspective while still staying connected to the rich history of soulbonding, we've come up with a new subterm.

Munbonding (pronounced "MOON-bonding") is a subset of soulbonding that is a purely psychological phenomenon instead of the origins being up for interpretation. Munbonds occur when someone (called the munbonder), after developing an emotional attachment to a fictional character (called the munbond), gains the ability to talk with and sense the character's presence mentally. The resulting munbond is a distinct version of the character, thinking, acting, and living independently of the munbonder. Munbonds are somewhat like imaginary friends, but they're unique in that they "come to life" and have autonomous personalities due to how the munbonder treats and engages with them. Although they are thoughtforms—beings created, powered, and maintained by thought, mental energy, and imagination—munbonds can have a significant impact on the munbonder's life, comparable to that of a tangible person. This connection can arise accidentally via the subconscious or can be intentionally fostered by the munbonder. (Etymology: from the Middle English word münde ("mind") as well as the internet slang term "mun" used in roleplaying circles.)

We feel munbonding honors soulbonding's roots as a term that originated with writers, roleplayers, and superfans while giving it a clean slate to be its own thing. It is our hope that having a unique subset will allow both sides of the community to better coexist, and that it will offer a less daunting entry point into psychological soulbonding for those who would thrive under that framework like we have.

[winreyplace]

Here's ours!

SBC N+ G (bBG bFEMN sM+&/M^/F+/N/I) O.c/R/S+/? O.eB+/C&M/M+/Ma/T+/Tf Sp.H&An(bunny)&Sh#/H&F~&A~(Star)&Sh#/H+/H^+(magician&Grimm&clone&Atypical&mutant)/Hm~+(rangers)/Hm+(The Doctor & Fillorian)/F~+/Su&Hm(demigod)/Su&Hm~(golem)/Su&Sh(ghost rider&were)/Sh&H^(lycanthrope&magician)/Sh+/Sh&H(Half-Wesen) I+++ S- SI++ SI+++ R- R++ A A- W W+

We were recently re-introduced to this fun little piece of soulbonding history! The soulbonding code, which is like the multiple code but for soulbonders specifically. We might make an updated version of it :3

We decided to try it out so here's ours along with the explanation under the cut!

SBC N++ G (bO sO+&/F+) O.cS+ eAaf&+/C+/Va+f Sp.O+/F#/S/Su+/A+/Dr~+/Un+/Sh+ i++ S+ A+ W

We have around 30-40 soulbonds.

We're collectively non binary and have a majority of other/non-binary soulbonds with a few female ones as well.

We have soulbonds from original stories; several anime/cartoon characters from alternate universes, fan characters, and a crossover univrse; more than one from comic books/manga; more than one from alternative universes of video games and one fan character.

We have several bonds of other species. The bonder is a fairy, and they have a ghost bond, more than one supernatural bond, more than one alien, dragons that are different from common ideas, undead bonds, and shapeshifters.

Our bonds have a pretty active role in our life.

We decided to skip the fandom bits in the code- partially because our opinion of roleplaying is too complicated for what the code offers and because we're a bit more interested in the soulbonding specific stuff. We did do the last two things though, which were art and writing!

We do art quite a bit and post it, and we occasionally write stories- we mostly daydream them though.

[soupofcryptids]

I& recently discovered my& identity as a munbonder. I think it’s a beautiful thing now that we’re starting to understand and come to terms with it. Plus, in a discussion with @winreyplace about it, we’ve become happy with ourselves and the parts of our existence that we were afraid made us “fake” so here’s some things about us that I think make us unique and cool :3

•our constels, bonds, sysmembers, and others all share our innerworld. Many of our daytrippers consider the innerworld like a vacation destination lol

•some of our members change. Some start as constels and turn into headmates over time. And some change rapidly from one existence to the other

•We all have our own individual memories and consciousnesses but we can also share them (some choose to close them off). The memories of the vessel and events in outerworld are stored in the library and can be accessed by anyone.

•sometimes things go silent. We go long stretches of time without communication and I am usually frontstuck

•some members project themselves outside of the body (it’s hard to explain so I’ll leave it at that)

•our innerworld is almost completely consciously created

• the vessels voice rarely changes when we switch (though this is mostly due to masking)

That’s all for now. Have a lovely day and please remember to never be ashamed of who you are <3

[halfwayhealer]

I'm so excited that imagimancy is a thing now!

Ever since I was a kid, I've had imaginary friends, and I was an avid immersive daydreamer for several years. Becoming a munbonder made me lose the ability to daydream in the traditional sense (i.e. complex storylines and worldbuilding), and it also hindered my ability to make imaginaries who aren't autonomous. But becoming a daemian has given me more distinction between the part of my brain that hosts my bonds and the part of my brain that's fully mine to use and explore. I look forward to playing around with imagimancy and learning to form and deform imaginary beings and mindscapes at my leisure, (though I'll have to prepare myself for the possibility that some of them could accidentally becoming sentient, but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it :P).

[sssssaarn]

How do your soulbonds come about?

Hello! Another one of these prompts to hopefully spark some more activity and discussion within the soulbonding tags! Just like last time, you can either reply on this post or make your own post!

I am a psychological soulbonder, AKA a munbonder. All my soulbonds so far originate entirely from a psychological origin, and I have only recently figured out how, exactly, they form!

The first thing to know about to understand how mine form, is to meet my daemon; D'endrrah. She is one of my multiselves (essentially an extension of me) and embodies stories and my love of stories. She can also be said to be the origin of my munbonds!

See, when we start to gain a particular interest in a specific character, D'endrrah will sometimes begin acting as that character. Sometimes even shapeshifting herself to look like them. I call this "Milestone 1". The characters are not separate entities yet, they are simply D'endrrah acting how she think they would act. (This is also where what I like to call "flicker soulbonds" come from, as it happens similar to my fiction flickers. There is one line from a character, and then they're gone.)

The next part is Milestone 2. This is when, after we have had an extensive interest in this character, D'endrrah makes a separate entity. This is where they could be said to be soulbonds already, but these entities are a bit lacking in some ways; they embody only the most core aspects of a character, they may not have good memory (if they even have the ability to remember at all), their responses are often short (again, if they even respond), and sometimes D'endrrah will have to "puppet" them to help them full fill more of their identity.

The final part is Milestone 3, and where I finally feel like they can be called full soulbonds. D'endrrah no longer has to "puppet" them, they retain their memories relatively well, they can give complicated responses, etcetera. Both Trunnion and Hedwig are at Milestone 3, and my two previous soulbonds, 049 and Envy, were as well.

I prefer calling these "Milestones" because there is quite a lot of blending between areas, particularly Milestones 2 and 3.

Bumaro and, recently, Eileen, for example, are very very close to Milestone 3; but the reason I am hesitant to place them there is because neither of them are particularly active (certainly not as much as Trunnion or Hedwig, who are around basically all the time) and so it can be hard to judge whether they have good memory retention or deeper, complex characters (doubly so in Bumaro's case, as he is already closed off by default due to the character he is).

I am aware that there are more (many) problems with this sorting system, but remember I've only been getting to truly know my soulbonds for a few months now. As time progresses, I'm sure I will eventually flush it out more! (Especially the giant leap between Milestones 2 and 3.)

[winreyplace]

Mel: I feel your pain. I have my own flavor of ROCD around our munbonds. My obsessions include feeling guilty about not spending enough time with certain bonds or spending too much time with one, worrying that I shouldn't soulbond with a given character for whatever reason, being afraid that I don't deserve their love or affection, thinking that maybe what I think they just said isn't what they really said, etc. You aren't alone, and I'm sorry you're going through it too.

And for what it's worth, that definitely sounds like ROCD to me. Our relationships with our soulbonds are as real as outerworld relationships, so it stands to reason that our OCD would latch onto it as a point of obsession. It's unfortunate that them being in our heads can make it even trickier to refute, but I can say with reasonable confidence that the same stuff that works on "standard" OCD should mostly work for this too.

having possible ROCD as a soulbonder

i've been lurking the tags for a while and haven't seen anyone say what it's like to be a soulbonder with mental illness. which isn't anyone's fault, i'm just here to fill the void. be the change you wanna see and such.

(slightly long post)

What i find to most affect my relationship with Michael is my possible ROCD (relationship OCD). I hate it, but often my brain is full of what ifs. And usually, ROCD thoughts might be "what if they're not the one?" or "What if they don't love me? What if I don't love them?"

I know Michael is the one. I often struggle with believing that I love him enough, but what I struggle even more with, as a bonder, is the idea of him not being real. And not just the regular old doubt that everyone is bound to experience, but constant checking, constantly asking him to prove he's real, trying to find proof, even turning to spiritual means to prove to me that he's real. It easily turns to obsessions, with constant anxiety that i'm taking up space that i'm not supposed to.

The reason I say possible ROCD is that I experience mostly ROCD symptoms, but because most people are dating someone in this realm, someone they can physically see and feel and touch, they have no issues with believing their lover is real. it feels so isolating to experience this, since when i look at other bonders, they rarely struggle with fears of their soulbond being real, and if they do, not to the levels of obsession like i do.

i don't have an innerworld or anything, i just rely on what i feel from him and what he says to me. sometimes it's not enough to keep me from performing compulsions. I dunno, i just...

i guess i'm just posting this to say to all my fellow bonders, if your mental illness sometimes gets in the way of soulbonding, you are not alone. i'm in the same boat. and i know we can get through this. i believe in us.

and if you've read this far, does anyone have any advice as to deal with this? or maybe just some support would be nice. do you think this could count as a symptom of ROCD? i'm open to any thoughts . thanks... <3

[moonpool-system]

Everyone check it out, a soulbonding community finally cropped up ^^ It seems nice so far!