when ocean vuong said "this mess i made i made with love" and raymond carver said "would i live my life over again? make the same unforgivable mistakes? yes, given half the chance. yes" and you realize that the imperfection is what makes your life what it is. iain reid said "everything's both ethereal and clunky" and virginia woolf said "the beauty of the world which is so soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder" and it is really a blessing to live on the light and the dark and have everything meet in the middle. and sometimes it's night and it's raining so hard and it's getting worse and worse and you wonder if it's really worth it to stay. but then in the morning the sun rises and there's a rainbow and it's so quiet. and the sky lives for no one but itself and the birds are singing and you are experiencing something so lovely and mary oliver was right to say "it is a serious thing to just be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world" and you are learning how to live.
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I should get an award for my restraint in not automatically blocking people who say things like "I hate paladins, they suck so much, they're the worst class bc their vibes are so bad" on my posts that even just mention paladins.
RIP that you and most people do not understand paladins as a class and do not understand that their narrative is not just "stick in the mud who loves being a cop", but I'm different and I think they're incredible and they're one of the classes with the best inherent narrative
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So uh. I got my Adhd meds back.
After 20 minutes speed cleaning...
(the top half of my bed still has some stuff but even that's been sorted through, I just left it for later to put away because it's time for another thing)
(it's stardew valley with a friend. That's the thing it's time for.)
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“I never want the audience to be too comfortable watching my films. At some point, I want the film to attack the audience, to make them think about what they’re seeing and how it relates or doesn’t relate to their own lives. I want them to be mentally engaged. Perhaps I just feel that nonlinear stories are more life-like in a way. Film watching is a very subjective experience. … As a viewer, it’s never something just about being only there at that very moment. It’s about that and other things at the same time. I think it’s a more accurate way of trying to talk about the human condition. That’s probably why I feel like telling more than one story at the same time in my films.”
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To be encapsulated in joy and find beauty in the mundane takes courage and optimism at someone’s core. Strengthen that core and your a invincible spirit.
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ah dang forgot to tell my plagiarism-identification story (in light of the hbomb video essay, which I’m still thinking about). I used to grade uni coursework, and we’d see all sorts of plagiarism. by far the most surreal instance of it I saw was where not only had two students copied a solution verbatim from a scanned piece of paper someone had posted online, but both of them also drew the wrinkles of the paper which looked vaguely like pen marks onto their assignments. somehow they’d assumed the scanner burn was part of the solution. granted this was a math/physics question that required drawing a little diagram, but still, it was the sort of thing where the scanner burn was extremely obviously scanner burn if you looked at it for longer than a few seconds
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Ancient woofer stimboard
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mOther.. I'm having an active hyperfixation on my dog/breed development special interests againnn~ 🎶
The Basenji (top left, center, bottom right) is a slim, ancient African breed which falls into the Asian Spitz group. It has a fuck shaped throat that produces a distinct yodel-howl, which it does instead of normal barking. They tend to latch onto one person who becomes Their Particular Human. The Basenji's body produces less starch-busting enzymes than other dog breeds -- matched only by huskies, dingoes, and wolves -- which suggests that the breed predates the development of agriculture.
The Canaan dog (top center, middle right, bottom left) hails from Palestine and is Israel's national dog breed. Middle eastern nomadic peoples used them for guarding and herding. They were important for the ancient Israelites but had to be abandoned upon the Diaspora (the exile from their homeland), where they became a semi-feral dog living around settlements. In the early-mid 1900s, professor Rudolphina Menzel was commissioned for service dog projects by the Zionist paramilitary-- she redomesticated, standardized, and trained the Canaan dog during the establishment of the colony Israel. Their key purpose was to "protect Jews"-- something I can only assume means they were tools of violent terrorism against Palestinians.
The New Guinea Singing Dog (top right, middle left, bottom center) is a rare breed indigenous to the island of New Guinea (just north of Australia), known best for its namesake yodeling. It was believed to be semi-feral by white scientists for some time, but all evidence shows that singing dogs are domesticated-- just raised communally as village dogs. An even rarer relative from the mountains, the New Guinea Highland wild dog, is non-domesticated but is not a divergent population of singing dogs gone feral-- rather, both singing dogs and Australia's dingoes descend from it.
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lucy dacus was so right when she said "i can't hide from you like i hide from myself" we're always talking about the "mortifying ordeal of being known" and that"nobody will ever know myself in all its entirety" etc etc but we never consider that other people might have a better picture of who we are than we do. that our view of ourselves is distorted by shame and disgust but the people that love us view us with emotion that is so raw and pure that it cannot be fake. that we reveal the things we try to conceal from the world (and from ourselves!) to those we love as an act of unconcious vulnerability. who other people think we are IS a part of who we are, no matter how frightening it can be, and sometimes they reveal more about you than you ever thought they could.
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I'm home safe!
Just thought I'd brag since tonight's commute took me from work, across town to Mean Aunt's...
Mean Aunt: Jenny! How ARE you?
Me: I'm exhausted and I want to get home before the snow starts.
Mean Aunt: [30 minute monologue]
... and then back home, in the dark and the snow.
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so we're just gonna breeze past the part where Max Durden says his brother grows mushrooms that can kill you in a cave huh
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Not to be Protestant but tbh I think the idea of a holy place being just a bunch of desks and foldable chairs can be kinda sexy too in religious art,,, just a thought,,,
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