#musing; text post

[nights-at-crystarium]

do you think that the color white itself became unpopular on the First. bad luck attributed to white furred animals, white haired people. then their lord and savior Crystal Exarch begins to summon one white haired bitch after another

[geopsych]

I have no idea what life will look like even half a year from now. Maybe that's why I'm enjoying spring bird migration so much this year.

I look at my records from other years: Today I might see a palm warbler. I go down to the woods and see a palm warbler. Nothing else seems stable. And maybe by next year this won't be either but for now I can check and see when the swifts will come back, when I might see a house wren, a catbird, a wood thrush, and then have a chance of seeing them.

Another thing: I used to want to go to far-flung places to see exciting exotic birds in their habitat. Now there is literally no bird more magical than the ones that show up right here in my garden and the ones I can see in the woods near my house.

Look! These are the descendants of deeply ancient lineages and right now they happen to be in this little part of the world with me. What an honour!

Maybe I'm losing it but it seems thrilling. We're here together maybe at the end of the world.

[mellowdisko]

thinking, thinking about this so hard im going to throw up:

Prospector Saloon, so quiet so dim; Courier Six seated at the bar, flipping through a magazine, Trudy cleaning wine glasses, both complaining about the weather. Courier Six with his hand-me-down boots, holding a Varmint rifle, an old gift from an old friend, hunting geckos and coyotes. Courier Six, watching windmills spin in the distance, sitting on his own grave, smoking over it like that checkered-coated man did years ago. In his fuzzy daydreams, in his restless nights sometimes he sees him: in dusty memories so distant, so ancient now.

Courier Six, touching the small scar on his forehead, smiling with a mouth full of yellowed teeth.

Courier Six, who has only heard of the Legion in campfire stories, Courier Six who changes stations when the news sing about that antebellum giant held in Legion hands. Old World far away, unknown and redundant; Hoover Dam painted in crimson, so what?

Courier Six who does not know, who does not care about the bones of the Republic displayed on crosses, the martyrs buried in the sand, all that was lost, all that could have been- Courier Six who does not know because Trudy's beer is cold enough, the water is clean enough, home comfortable enough. Doc Mitchell holds ice over his bruises after a long day and his bed is warm in the afternoon. He watches from his window, his fate asleep, nothing but lone and level sand to be seen, streching for miles and miles, the wasteland resting soundlessly under the lazy autumn sun.

Courier Six in Goodsprings, small and familiar world, hunting geckos and coyotes. Courier Six in Goodsprings, holding an old friend's gift.

He, the nomad who has finally come home. He, who have doomed Mojave with his passivity, his absence. He, growing old in ignorance.

Sometimes, a familiar voice crackles through the saloon's radio, telling tales of a dam bathed in crimson hues, of a war long lost. Tales of twelve-year-old desert boys wearing uniforms too big for them, of bloodstains on the walls of Californian clinics, of red-clad soldiers dying in their twenties for a man who has burned their futures so that his own torch could blaze over New Vegas.

But Courier Six in his little hut, his little town... A simple life of a simple man closing his eyes under a starless sky and into a dreamless night.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

never feel pressured to read a certain book, a certain series, a certain genre. never feel guilty about loving a certain book, a certain series, a certain genre. never think a certain format (ebook, audiobook, etc.) "doesn't count" as reading.

being a reader is yours. read what you want, when you want, how you want. but please don't judge others for what they're reading, either.

[gothixm00nz]

The things I would've done for (and to) this man had I been given a chance...

[spideyswede]

Bro you know it’s bad when a man in a devil themed bondage suit is after you and you’re still the freakiest person in the room.

[shezzabee]

I can’t stop thinking about In-ho’s, “I sincerely hoped you’d have a good life,” and Gi-hun’s, “I didn’t think you worried so much about me.”

It makes me wonder: how closely did In-ho monitor Gi-hun after he left? Did he keep tabs to make sure Gi-hun didn’t cause trouble? Was he curious about how someone like Gi-hun would handle the money? Would he pay off his debts, invest it, or waste it gambling?

Was it a detached, almost dismissive order to a pink guard—“Keep an eye on him”—or something more personal? Did he obsessively check the tracker himself, his attention flickering to the blinking dot on a screen whenever he had a moment? Did he go as far as using surveillance cameras to see what Gi-hun was up to?

We know In-ho was invested. That final call at the end of Season 1 was proof enough. He urged Gi-hun to board that plane, his voice cold and composed, but I’d bet my left cheek (and my right one for good measure) that he wasn’t as unaffected as he sounded. Gi-hun heard it as a threat, but wasn’t it really a plea? A desperate, unspoken “Take the chance I never could. Live the life I lost.”

But how far did the stalking really go? Even after Gi-hun removed the tracker, it’s impossible to imagine In-ho simply letting it go—“Welp, connection lost. Guess that’s the end of that.” That’s not who he is. In-ho doesn’t move on. He’s the type to hold on too tightly, to obsess, to watch from the shadows even when there’s nothing left to see.

We’ll probably never know. It’s such a minor, insignificant detail in the grand scheme of things. But alas, this was the first thought that crossed my mind when I woke up.

I’m obsessed with these two idiots (someone save me, but don't)

P.S. If there is a post that talks about this further let me know, I'd love to read it!

[www-proxxicles-com]

ack no!!! i stepped in the pronouns ivy and now im it/she

[elle-rph]

People are so lucky I don’t fully speak my mind.

[yeezyree]

You gotta snap out of whatever you going through & get back in that mode, you got this .

[geopsych]

A musing text post if you will allow it.

Yesterday I tried to get out for a walk but although the hills at the park looked walkable at a distance they turned out to be solid ice with just enough grass blades peeking through to fool the eye. I slid and finally fell and slid as I tried to cross them but by that time had braced for it and wasn't injured. I saw it wasn't possible to get to the marsh to look for red-winged blackbirds or into the woods where the paths are narrow and notoriously slippery in safer seasons, to look for flowering skunk cabbage. I managed to scramble from the lowest icy point in the hills to a slope that was melted enough to allow footholds and ended up returning home the long way. But my takeaway looking back on it is that these are the same hills I walk in every season to take pictures of the sunrise, to look for swallows and violets and bluebirds, cherry blossoms and autumn foliage, where I've sat content among the dandelions, but yesterday I had a completely new experience. Those familiar hills shed me like water on a duck and for a while I was afraid I might break some bones. It was a good reminder of nature's power even in the tamest of places. I'll have a little more awe of those hills even next summer when they're in their soft green grass disguise.

[mellowdisko]

Many forget that Nipton was never about Vulpes acting for his own sake. At the Fort, when you ask Caesar what the Frumentarii do, he tells you: "Infiltration, assassination, dramatic atrocities to break the spirit of the enemy..." Thats exactly what Nipton was: a dramatic atrocity, a letter that reads: "We are here. We have arrived."

It was never meant to be a lesson. The NCR does not care about morality, neither does the Legion. Nipton was a town that was destined to be destroyed not because it was a wicked place (Vulpes was lying through his teeth about the whole thing -the dead legionnaires are evidence- like thats what he does, that is literally his job!) but because it was small enough to burn without consequence, close enough for the message to be heard. Nipton wasn't a lesson. It was a spectacle, meant to be seen by the eyes of the Republic. Thats why the Courier is tasked to spread the news, they're a mailman delivering a letter.

And Vulpes? Can't say he's explicitly sadistic. A bad person? Absolutely. But not playful with his cruelty. He is just as cruel as every other legionary. The only difference is he is smarter about it, more intense.

Nipton isn’t a part of him. Nothing is. Nothing but the Legion. He does not carry the weight of that town. He does not look back to the ruins he has left behind. Nipton is no pang of remorse, no pleasure, no sin. It is merely a step forward. Proof that the Legion has entered the Bear's den, proof that its will is being done.

And we never see Vupes as he truly is. He is not a person, at least not anymore.

He wears a mask, a new face with every new encounter. In Nipton he is wearing the mask of a vexillarius, in the strip the mask of a gambler. And at the fort, he is just another legionary: red-clad and quiet, a little fox curled at the foot of his emperor's throne. He has 0 indicators of individuality, he is not a person. He's only a name, a shadow streching across the Mojave.

I do believe the only time we get a glimpse of who Vulpes truly is, is when Caesar tells his backstory. His cunning, his wit—but also his insubordination, a hint of rebellious youth. That is who I think he really is: a rebel boy, not in opposition to the Legion, but in relentless devotion to it. Someone who is willing to tear down every pillar, disobey every order just to see the flag rise higher.

Vulpes will slaughter, torture, and betray and engage in "profligate scum" activities for the benefit of his side. He is ready to serve even if it angers the Son of Mars. He doesn't ask for permission. Doesn't beg for forgiveness. He does what he must, then kneels before the blade waiting for the punishment that has never managed to come since his first trial as a decanus. And there is passion in that, a desire. To paint the desert with his nation's red, to whisper his lord's name to every ear, to tame the untamable: the idea, the dream.

At the Fort, we see him as nothing more than a docile soldier but we know that he is different, remarkable; Caesar had said it himself. Rebel boy: always ready to mangle and burn the world and himself along with it just to serve what he believes is providence.

He is "a rather intense young man," whose entire existence is a disguise. A spy so devoted to his duty that he has stripped himself of everything else. A spy, in the fine suit of a gentleman or under the hide of a coyote, tearing down his own tower of humanity as the gods he belives in look down and smile.

He is not a person. He hasn't been a person for a long time.

He is a name, a shadow, a hollowed out man. He is an animal kept at arms length, dog on a leash who does not want to be set free, a weapon, a tool. Pale hand of the Legion reaching west.

With every step through the desert, Vulpes Inculta has left a piece of himself behind, until he is left with nothing but blind faith and bloodied palms. And when you lose everything you ever had in a big bad wasteland you tend to cling onto the first bright colour you see:

Crimson—so inviting, so cruel. Like home.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

[ looking for book blogs! ]

hi there, book lovers! since it's a new year, I wanted to do a fresh post to call out all book-focused blogs on Tumblr! If you primarily post bookish content, like and reblog this post and I'll follow you back! here's to growing the booklr community!

Please share this and explore the previous likes/reblogs to discover more accounts!

[sinileijona]

s-selfie emote???

[just-some-normal-jessica]

[thanathicca]

Pathologic 3: Quarantine - Thanatica and the Capital (5/?)

Footage credits: Andy North & Zuzup | ID in alt text