#mutuals can ask for the uncensored version~

[arobutchsab]

you KNOW its suck his dick saturday

[analteredme]

More risky posts in the hopes tumblr is nice to me

[diextrying]

Should I just start being slutty here too, is that what the people want? Hm maybe I'll try it out, lemme know what y'all think 😉😘

[malew1fed]

just took pics for when i hit 300 followers guys,, less than 10 away until mountable tboy ass pics on main

[redfoxv]

Good morning 😊

Mutuals can ask for an uncensored version 🖤

[mcyt-summer-of-yuri]

Hello all!! With the event nearly upon us, I figured it was about time (finally) to post a sort of FaQ for the event! So buckle up, everyone, this post is gonna be a bit of a long one.

What is the event timeline?

March 14th - March 28th: Mod applications

April 21st - May 4th: Signup period

April 21st: Discord opens

May 5th - May 18th: Assignments sent out

May 19th - June 29th: Gift making period

June 9th - June 29th: Pinch-hits period

June 30th - July 13th: First gift posting period

June 30th - July 20th: Second gift posting period

August 31st: Treat posting deadline

Is there an age limit to the event?

Since this event is run through Tumblr and an event Discord, the age limit to join will be 13 if you wish to join the Discord, but if you will only be participating via Tumblr, there will be no age minimum in place. To create/receive any NSFW gifts, on the other hand, the age limit will be 18 and we ask that your gift be censored when posted on Tumblr if it is a visual art medium (though if you wish to DM your giftee with an uncensored version, go right ahead!).

What is definitely not allowed?

• Themes of incest (canonical or in relation to headcanons specified in sign-ups)

• Themes of pedophilia (referring to ships containing minors, such as Child/Adult, Teen/Adult, Child/Child, or Teen/Child pairings, with an exception to platonic or romantic pairings consisting of only characters between the ages of 14 to 17 for Teen/Teen relationships)

• Themes of underage drinking/drug use (consumption of substances by characters under the age of 18)

• Themes of abuse (physical/mental/sexual harm inflicted on a character or mutually between multiple characters involved)

• Usage of slurs (words used in a derogatory fashion against a character in regards to aspects of who or what they are)

• Lack of consent (while dubious consent may be allowed if requested in your sign up, a lack of consent entirely will not be tolerated)

• AI generated art (this applies to fanart generated by AI, fanfic created using chat bots, and anything else along these lines)

What are the gift requirements?

There will be a few options for what kind of gift you can make, as well as the option to DM a mod either here or on the discord once it opens if your preferred gift type is not listed or if you would like to make your giftee an extra gift of a non-listed art type. The options and their requirements are listed as such!!

Art - clean sketch with lineart minimum (or whatever point of the process this would be in your art style if lineart is not applicable)

Writing - 1,000 word count minimum (if you intend to write multiple chapters, you must have at least 2/3 of your total story written by posting period and the first chapter must be no less than 800 words long)

Playlist - 2hr length minimum

Moodboards/Stimboards - minimum of 2 boards equaling out to 18 elements

Webweave - at least 1 board containing 10 elements

Video Edit - at least 45 seconds in length

Poem - 100 word count minimum (or multiple shorter poems with a total of no less than 100 words)

Other Original Content (DM a mod on the Tumblr or once the Discord opens for more information on alternative gift suggestions such as cosplay videos, original songs, animations, or other such ideas)

What are the included fandoms?

What are the Included Fandoms?:

For the sake of this event you will be given a list of fandoms to choose from in your sign up form to determine which series' you are willing to create/receive a gift about as well as listed characters in each series (with a section to include unlisted characters, though those will be taken as optional rather than required for the sake of matching you with a potential gifter) The selected series are listed (in no specific order) below!!

Life Series/Traffic Life SMP

Empires SMP

DSMP

QSMP

Witchcraft SMP

Rats SMP

Pirates SMP

Outsiders SMP

One Life SMP

X Life SMP

AfterLife SMP

New Life SMP

Hermitcraft

Kingdomcraft

Minecraft Diaries

MyStreet

What counts as "yuri"?

For the purposes of this event, we will not be accepting genderbends or trans headcanons of canonically cis male characters. Yuri would include any pairing or character who would be eligible to fit into either the Sapphic or Trixic umbrellas.

What if I just don't have the time?

Well, if you're worried about not being available during the creation period but still want to participate, you're more than welcome to sign on as a beta reader (not just for looking over/helping out with fics!) or a pinch hitter/bench warmer!! Beta readers are anyone who would like to help someone out in the creation of their gift, such as glancing it over for any errors, brainstorming ideas, or other helpful things!! A pinch hitter (also known sometimes as a bench warmer) is someone who steps up in the event that someone who was signed up previously decides that - for whatever reason - they would be unable to finish the gift on time, and it is given to someone else to make on a more time-crunched schedule!! Both of these roles are very helpful and valuable to have in an event like this, so if you aren't sure about joining the event as a primary member, keep in mind these roles may also be options for you! Beta readers will be a Discord-only role, but pinch hitter roles will be available to anyone interested on both Discord and Tumblr, just be sure to respond quickly or someone else may take the offered hit before you!

Is this a Tumblr-only event?

Yes and no. While the event is run on Tumblr, you don't have to only post your gift here during the posting period! Edits may be posted to YouTube/Tiktok, fics/poems may be posted to Ao3/Wattpad/ffdn, playlists can be uploaded to Spotify/YouTube, wherever else you would normally post your content!! The only thing asked of you is that you don't post any spoilers before the posting period begins. No "here's an update on an edit/fanart I'm making for a gift exchange" videos/screenshots or the like, no posting poetry/fic snippets, and keep any playlists made on Spotify privated, for example!! You'll be DMed on Discord with your assignment if you join the Discord, and DMed your assignment on Tumblr if you don't! No stress either way.

Is joining the Discord required?

You don't have to join the discord to participate if you don't want/are unable to!! The discord is just a hub for those participating to talk about things and interact with one another, but if you aren't able/don't want to join for whatever reason, that's perfectly okay! There will be a deadline countdown every so often on the Tumblr, and on the Discord as well, so those not in the server will stay in the loop on that front!! If you don't plan on joining the Discord, just mark that down in your sign up sheet and everything will be just fine.

Will there be an Ao3 collection?

There will be a collection you're free to add your gifts to if you so wish, but it will be moderated so only those with given access can approve it into the collection during the posting period! If you'd like to add a fic, fanart, series of poems, or whatever else to the collection, feel free to do so and it'll stay anonymous until the posting period begins!!

Finally, who are the mods?

Our lovely moderators are hard at work making sure this event can stay on track! Everyone give them a round of applause!!

@rutellingmeashrimpfriedthisrice (event runner)

@daisy-bugs @aliteral-ghost @feyscape @sexyinaratkindaway @kaije224 @blocky-tides @queercode-my-minecraft @muriers

[frenchtoastie]

But yes reminder that mutuals if you ask nicely you can get uncensored versions of what I posted ^_^

[rjschoicesstuff]

About me + other stuff

My name is RJ, I'm 24 years old, I'm from Europe and my pronouns are she/her and he/him (Please don't use they/them pronouns for me!).

My main blog is @rjorpossum, I made this sideblog to post stuff relating to Choices (with some exceptions cause I also like reposting mutuals non-choices art hehe). My art unrelated to choices can be found on @rjartstuff

I'm very shy and I think due to that I can seem very standoffish/offputting at times, I'm trying to push myself more to interact with people and I'm very open to talking to people and I love when people interact with me/my posts! :)

If I've blocked you it's because you don't tag spoilers

My art and mc's/oc's

I enjoy taking art requests (characters, mc's you'd like to see drawn, scene's you'd like to see drawn, idea's etc.) sent though my ask box, I don't guarantee I'll draw it, but just know that I enjoy hearing from other people what they'd like to see! :)

My ask box is also always Very open for questions about my headcanons and my mc's/oc's! I really enjoy rambling about them!

Content warnings on my art

I enjoy drawing blood/gorey art pieces and my current favourite series (Immortal desires) happens to be fitting for this kind of art so from time to time stuff like that may pop up on my blog.

Despite my art being cartoony, I've decided to tag any gore as #tw gore and from now on (july 21) I will post a censored version, with the uncensored version below the cut.

Tags

#my art - All art made by me can be found under this tag

#headcanon - Posts with headcanons

#RJs version of ID - Basically my reimagined version of Immortal Desires, I'm really bad at consistently using this tag though lol 💀

#oc ask game - ask games I've reposted, you can always send asks, just mention what post it's for

#art prompt game - art prompt games I've reposted, always open to these too.

At some point I will probably add a list with tags for my mc's and oc's but today is not that day x

[diextrying]

Your followers humbly request a selfie if you feel so inclined! 😄

(clothing level is your choice as well 🙈)

Hey there anon! Well I certainly wouldn't want to let my followers down, especially when they ask so nicely! I thought I looked pretty cute here, if I do say so myself 😏😘 (mutuals can see the uncensored version!)

[ambrosiababy]

(Preemptive) FAQ

EDIT: ill block anyone without an age in bio or minors. Put your age in your description or pinned.

[personal questions]?

Mid 20s, prefer they/them pronouns, draw for fun. Everything else i prefer to keep private.

You can call me whatever; some derivative of this handle, 'hey you', anything. 👍

What fandoms are you in here?

For now p much exclusively Degrees of Lewdity; if by some miracle i find another porn/kink thing that tickles my art bone, who knows? (feel free to rec me stuff)

Will you post uncensored art/where can I find uncensored versions?

Based on tumblr's TOS, I don't think I can 😔 and I am not on other sites so I don't think it'll be possible for now.

i have figured out how to post links but in an attempt to not get sniped/reported as spam i'll be reblogging the original posts with uncensored versions and tagging as 'extra bits' because i think im funny

Who are your favorite DOL NPCS?

Eden, Bailey, Winter, Sydney

Avery and Briar for cash cow reasons lmao

Do you take [requests/commissions/etc]?

No commissions; ive found my current schedule doesn't allow me to finish comms on a reasonable timeline. I'm not opposed to requests but I p much draw only as a hobby now so if the request doesn't hit it probably won't happen...

tldr you can ask but I make no promises

Do you have another art account?

Not one I will ever be linking here and vice versa. If you somehow recognize my art on another blog we'll just have our mutual 'what were YOU doing at the witch's sabbath 👀' moment quietly (please keep it to yourself)

[hail-despair-hail]

29/UK/Single/18+

STRICTLY 18+

I used to be on here as despairanddeception/hailhorrorshail/hailhorrorshai1 but I got nuked without warning.

Please reblog any of my #me posts to help me find my old mutuals!!!

No racists, bigots, transphobes, terfs, pedophiles/maps. (fuck that term anyway) Get the fuck off my blog.

Mutuals get special treatment. 😘💕 They can ask me for my Snapchat (in case I get nuked again) and uncropped/uncensored versions of my posts.

Asks, messages and submissions are open!

Check below for tags, don’t be a cunt and introduce yourselves!!

[ntyr-bby]

Welcome to my blog!

Please read before you interact

I don't post my exact age or name for privacy reasons but I'm in my mid 20s and you can call me Cherry.

She/her, pansexual.

Put your age in bio before interacting and if you're a minor please don't interact with this blog. Be safe!

Maps, Misogynists, Transfobics, Racist and alike please don't interact.

Tag for my text post: #ntyr-bby speaks

Tag for my pics: #ntyr-bby pic

send a tip and you can motivate me to take more pics

if you send $5 or more, let me know and you can see and uncensored version of one set

or you can get me/chip in for a gift on throne

Unless is tagged otherwise, the content is not mine. I tend to reblog a lot of things.

I try to tag things as best as I can. If you want me to tag something specific so you can search the tag or blacklist it, let me know!

I appreciate the nice message and compliments, but I would prefer if they are send on ask and not dm. There's specific people I talk on dm and honestly, unless we are mutuals, there's a better chance I respond to a first interaction via ask.

With that in mind: don't message me if all you want to do is sext! Yes, I mostly horny post all the time in this blog, but if you're not able to maintain a conversation without it including sex, then don't bother. And if you're persistent I'll block you.

If you don't have your age on bio or haven't changed the default tumblr icon I'll block you. c'mon it takes less than five minutes 🙄

[foxghost]

This/last week’s read: Po Yun, Breaking Through the Clouds 1 & 2

All 1.6 million words. Po Yun (Breaking Through the Clouds) and Po Yun 2 (Swallowing the sea), by Huai Shang (817k) On jjwxc. I started reading them because I missed SCI, but Po Yun is a much more serious book with serious plot twists and no hypnosis/split personalities/genetic modification magic. Oh, and more whump. I mean these characters are basically hurt all the time. Constantly. A bonus: all your main characters are in their 30’s.

There’s a summary on novelupdates, but I’m going to give you an alternative summary:

International drug-trafficker King of Spades and the Gongzhou Police Organised Crime/drug trafficking division chief Jiang Ting were once childhood friends and are now caught in a game of cops and robbers cat and mouse and their love story ends in inevitable BE …

Okay, it’s not that, go get the actual summary from NU that ends in a nobody (bad) dies HE ending between Jiang Ting and Yan Xie.

(Rambling that is as spoiler-free as possible after cut, but to summarise, I’d give Po Yun 1 a 7/10 and Po Yun 2 a 10/10 recommended with some caveats for plot holes and warning for graphic descriptions of violence and gore)

Po Yun1: If this book was actually about the first story, 10/10, a very well-told tragedy that ends in a near perfect circle. As is, I’m not sure how to feel because it just felt so much like it should end in 雙愛雙殺 / “mutual love, mutual killing”, that even though it has told me it’s HE since the beginning it doesn’t feel right. Despite Jiang Ting’s insistence that he never loved SpadesK, he did … in the before times, and considering how much he hated him afterwards, he loved him a lot. I think most what made this book less enjoyable for me though is Yan Xie, who is basically your definition of male chauvinist (his nickname in the book is literally “straight man cancer”), and he touched the one squick I have … terrible personal hygiene.

Point form entirely unorganised thoughts (吐槽) :V below, mostly of my very twisted opinion, you’ve been warned

Every time I heard about Yan Xie’s “male hormones” smell I gagged a little because I’m pretty sure he stinks

No, wait, I don’t have to be pretty sure. The first time he lent his jacket to Jiang Ting he had to cover his nose and ask “when was the last time you did the laundry”

also, “wash your feet first thing when you get home or I really will avoid you” omg

Yan Xie: do I look like i have time to change my clothes <- in 3 days

why do you even like him the only thing good about him is that he loves you a lot

most of the words that come out of his mouth (especially towards women) are toxic and just THE WORST

Literally no woman in the novel is surprised that he’s tall, handsome, rich, and is single in his 30’s

his mother: now that he’s this age all I ask is that he chooses someone younger than me

anyway that’s enough about Yan Xie I just had to tell someone after Jiang Ting (whom I love) chose to end up with makes face and points THAT

Meanwhile, the King of Spades is basically a more twisted Asami Ryuichi and how can I not love that fictionally

the king of spades gets a theme song (Young and Beautiful) and childhood episode with MC

Excuse me I have feels about the villain and the MC/villain ship way more than the canon ship orz

Half the plot is about antag trying to turn back time emotionally to see if things between Jiang Ting and himself could have turned out in any way differently

“all i wanted in his life was for you to kill me and then we die together” trope

He is well-dressed, cultured, polite, and utterly off his rocker, kills without blinking, but you know something

He leaves the torturing to Jiang Ting because he’s … probably better at it

Jiang Ting will pull off your fingernails and give you the death of 3000 cuts without batting an eyelash

I love Jiang Ting a regular amount

as mentions of Yan Xie’s lack of hygiene grew less frequent I admit he grew on me (and I guess I want a happy ending for Jiang Ting since he’s suffered enough) but only right up until Yan Xie SPEAKS AGAIN

on the mystery/drama/cases front, it’s good …

too much of the plotting of how convoluted the crimes are hinged on “antag is crazy you can’t explain the motivation of the crazy”

There are plenty of surprises, lots of side characters to get attached to, and come to think of it it’s the kind of happy ending that’s really 地道, nobody (on the good guy side) dies.

Onto Po Yun 2:

MC (Wu Yu) is a contradiction of a killer cinnamon bun (do we still say that? why don’t we still say that?) anyway he can go from polite and sweet and courteous and shy about speaking in public to killer hawk jumping out of the 8th floor window using obstacles to slow his descent to stab target in the throat in 5 seconds flat

Code name “The Painter”, as in “Painted Skin”, cross-border master undercover cop, but he’s pretty to the point of standing out (this is used as a plot point later)

ML (Bu Chonghua, everytime I see his name 蔥花 “chopped green onions” floats across my brain) seems pretty normal at first glance, but he’s “living for vengeance”

MC and ML have childhood background story while MC and villain does not (thank you)

the cases are all related, and they make sense for the most part

MC’s backstory and the final reveal is a bit of a stretch and the writer knows it (and apologises)

But overall, very well plotted cases that takes its time unwinding and doesn’t get explained all at once.

however, some tropes recycled wholesale from book 1 meant that they did not fool me for a single second.

WHUMP and lots of hurt, not so much comfort. These people are wounded so often they really shouldn’t be walking around

I literally can’t tell you anything without giving half the story away, so I won’t — I’m just going to say “read it you won’t regret it”

2 is a better book than 1. Both use the same kind of ship dynamic — MC is evasive and hiding something, ML is full of love but know not to trust entirely because MC is evasive, eventually MC come to realise that “even if I’m evil this man will love me anyway” and then happily ever after. Whether the resulting relationship is healthy is … up for debate, but I’m here for all the car chases / explosions / jumping off buildings / dealing with life and death situations / nearly dying every chapter or two. Come for excitement, nobody dies, and happy wedding endings … ignore the plot holes and inconsistencies.

If Huai Shnag writes a third installment — likely, some ppl are left alive for reasons — I will drop all the points on them. This was totally worth my time. If you buy the jjwxc version, go hunt down the uncensored chapters, there is one smut scene each that got cut.

[egyptroyal]

things a new (old/mutual/whatever) rp partner should know about me !

fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests.

I have a lot of muses all spread out on different blogs so, if I can’t choose one of your muses, I’m going to send in a meme for each of your muses. Out of my three primary roleplay blogs, there are four side roleplay blogs. Four of the muses being time lords and every regeneration - incarnation - is a muse of their own. Over at @themadvigilantist​ have 339 V muses, 89 Vin muses, 3 villains; sideblog @tardis500​ has 6 tardis oc muses, here, which is also a sideblog, I have 8 ocs, 12 canonical characters, 52 televised/comic/audio parody portrayals of the doctor. At @pennybraddock​, i have only 1 oc muse. At @drbabygirl​, i have 1 oc, and 4 canon characters. At @thebadtimewolf​, I have a singular time lord main muse with 15 human alternate versions of herself and one angel entity with @nosewitch​ being one singular side blog. Altogether, i have 533 muses, possibly more if I miscounted (or if the doctor ends up getting more that I missed then well shit, i’ll add them later as muses too. So, if you are someone that don’t want a spam of asks your way or thought I would just pick one muse out of your many, you are dead wrong on that and I might not be the blog for you. I’ll slap in a new muse left and right and then think I’m done only to add 20 more out of excitement just to forget about them later on. When I say I am excited to rp with you, I’m excited to throw a small village at every single muse you got unless you pick one first.

I am a very graphic and dark writer with the occasional smut (depending on the blog/muse), that does not censor or tone down their muse but, there are some limits. Just about all of my rp blogs deal with some very heavy subject material, which I tend to write out in great detail. This means you might come across descriptions of scenarios, that are very dark, graphic, disturbing or just drawn out as something that my muse realistically, no one would give/expect that kind of reaction towards in general. However, I have a limit and no, it’s not because it makes me unconfortable writing it, I just get...stuck. Okay, for example with my villain/neutral muses, I can’t write rape. I’ll write with someone that can write that particular subject but, I can’t write it myself because I don’t know how. Murder? You betcha and with detail. Torture? You got it and with trauma. Destroy an entire solar system while making the character feel wracked with guilt over the deaths of billions? Yeah, I can do that with detail on how it affected everyone else on a visual. Rape? Nope, nothing, same goes if you random anons want to just worse stuff, I can’t write it. Don’t know how, won’t know how. Now, that being said, I will never condone any of those behaviors that I describe but, if I can’t write it? Then pick something else. I can tag appropriately but, if my partner don’t tell me to cut to the next day or do fade-to-black in their following response, I’m going to describe that. Why I say depending on the muse is this: some of my muses are into fearplay/edgeplay but, the level where they were probably the reason some of their ‘interests’ are called risk-accepted consensual kinks which, for muses that are vile or evil, y’all gonna have to um, explain it that what you’re doing to them is not a dubcon situation but, a no-dont-get-off-on-this situation-this-is-my-scare-tactic. if you don’t, it’s gonna get real uncensored morticia/gomez real quick and you don’t want it. Other muses on the other hand will actually be scared so, choose (out of the collective 533+ muses) wisely. I’ll give you a list of who is in to what real quick, just ask/im me and i’ll find a generator that show just how much/little they’ll be into a thing.

I use either memes, open starters, greeters as an ice breaker but, also aiming to pre-established starters. So, I tend to make general starter for those that recently follow me in a way that anyone could respond to. I’m not shy to plotting but, for the most part, I’m just testing the waters. We can also im each other, send each other asks or whathaveyou. A jumping board that I might respond to one of your open starters or make a thread out of an answered post that you or I had sent to the other.

I don’t know how to godmod but, if you do it ...don’t be surprised that the muse is gonna fight back?? I only say this because I can’t write physical fight scenes with anyone because I’m so shit at those that I can now say that I have been accused of godmodding (2) twice in the span of a decade on this site by two ppl who (hopefully) live somewhere with free healthcare. Everytime I respond to how my character would counter an attack, there’s always that one person with their muse - that they are clearly in a fight scene - that only I get accused of godmodding out of nowhere. Despite when I look back at my responses on how I word things and I don’t see it (I still don’t. Is there an editor I can ask to look over and what I should reword here??) and the accuser fails to tell me to reword what sentence/paragraph to fix it where it’s not that. If I don’t get a response to what/where the specific bit in my response that made you think/came across as godmodding, then clearly you was godmodding too.                        OTHERWISE, WITH THE REST OF THE PPL I RPED A FIGHT SCENE WITH IN THE SPAN OF THE DECADE, THEY WERE JUST LIKE ‘OH THIS IS FUNKY AND FUN! *CUE TO US VIBIN OVER ANGST IN TAGS WHILE ALSO POKING FUN AT OUR MUSES AND SHIT*’ AND LIKE WE COOL SO MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WRITING STYLE, IT’S JUST YOU MISREADING THE TEXT PRESENTED TO YOU AND NOT ASKING ‘hey what you mean by [action/thing]? could you like rewrite that? i don’t get it, it didn’t sit right could you rewrite it?’ I’LL DO IT, I’LL FIX IT. HELP ME SEE WHAT YOU SEE?? INSTEAD OF JUMPING TO THAT ACCUSATION WITH NO EXPLANATION WHEN A THREAD DON’T GO YOUR WAY?? IT’S NO ANNOYANCE/BOTHER FOR ME TO FIX MY MISTAKES BUT IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT THE MISTAKE IS (while consciously choosing to just point out that in some part of our thread to say only ‘stop godmodding/that was a little godmod-y’ when a muse of mine don’t react/act indifferent to yours and their actions) THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET BETTER, DO BETTER, AND BE BETTER IN MY WRITING WITH YOU IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE REPERCUSSIONS/REACTION OF MY MUSES CHOICE OF RESPONSE?? ok that’s out of my system                                  anyway don’t-don’t-don’t godmod but also, if you think im godmodding when i can’t tell where it is on either side ahahahah, u better fucking tell me which paragraph/sentence i fucked up instead of just throwing that word around when you can’t handle when muses don’t automatically shiver at the sight of yours. if anything, they already been there done that over it.

I’ll make a manip, gifset, draw our muses for our muses. I do that. I do that a lot. Ask me, I’ll do it. I’ll submit/send the drawing privately but, manips and gifsets: I put that on display. I will. Ask me.

Tagged by: @blindeddevil

Tagging: @city-full-of-ocs @idontdosecondchances @takumishinobi @paigeatyourservice @girl-in-the-tardis @followthedrums13 @gingersrockstheuniverse @destinybitten @lonelybxstards @theiracademydaysareover @theserpentsjester & anyone else that wants to/sees this

my entire mood @ #4 but, it was made at 3 AM and i don’t have the voice but, the vibe of yvette nicole brown because i got into community again

[britishchick09]

Magical Tipsy Tour: A Beatles Fic

ladies and gentlemen... my first beatles fic! this idea came to me in a dream and it was so funny that i thought, “why not write it?” and thus, a new fic series was born! this took a day to write (march 17th to the 18th) and it was incredibly fun to write. enjoy my first foray into the world of beatlemania! :D

when john and ringo come home drunk af, paul and george must find a way to keep them (mostly) sober for the concert. will it work?

Paui fiddled with his guitar, a new tune flashing through his mind faster than he could play it. Through the sounds of his instrument, he heard something odd.

Silence.

George was taking a much-needed nap in the bedroom while Cynthia and Julian- John’s wife and baby son who lived in the other (much bigger and nicer) room- had recently departed for a two week long vacation. Ringo was probably doing something downstairs and John-

Where was he?

Paul frowned. With John around, the flat was rarely silent. The only blissful time was eight at night and later, when Julian went to bed (and even then it wasn’t silent sometimes).

As Paul looked around in confusion, George walked by.

“Have you seen John around?” Paul asked him.

“I dunno,” George yawned and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Went out, I think.”

“’Went out’? When?”

“What time did I crash?”

“Um… around five or so?”

“So he’s been gone that long, then.”

Paul’s eyes widened. “He’s been gone for almost five hours?”

“Oh, he has? In the words of John himself, ‘Oh shoot!’ The uncensored version, of course.”

“He better come home soon or he’ll hear the uncensored version from me.”

Not even a moment later, the door burst open.

“John!” Paul exclaimed as he rose from his chair. “There you are! Where the hell have you- Ringo?!?!”

“’Ello.” Ringo said through a chuckle.

“Were you out with him, too?” George inquired.

“Oot in a boot in Canadaaaa!”

Ringo skipped by, causing George to frown.

“Does he normally do that?” he asked.

Paul shook his head. “No, I-”

“Hello, you beautiful stranger!” John said in a high voice, cupping Paul’s face in his hands.

He kissed his mate on the lips, causing Paul’s eyes to widen in absolute shock and horror. John ran away with a laugh.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Paul blinked and took a breath to regain what little composure he had. “If you’ll excuse me for a minute, I need to scream.” he said quietly before rushing out of the apartment.

George walked backwards until his back touched the wall. All he could do was watch as John and Ringo skipped and chattered like madmen.

“What’s gotten into you two?” George asked them.

“Probably a girl.” Ringo said.

He and John burst out into schoolgirl-like giggles and they ran down the hallway.

Paul returned a couple minutes later and said, “If there’s anything I learned from that… ungodly kiss, it’s that-”

“John secretly loves you and is now confessing his feelings after six years of seemingly mutual friendship?” George asked.

“Oh god, I hope not! I think John’s been out drinking!”

“How do you know?”

“Does the strong taste of wine, beer and maybe whiskey on his breath tell anything?”

“What about Ringo?”

“If I had to guess, he’s probably been doing the same thing. I hope he didn’t waste himself like John, but you never know with him.”

“Is there anything we can do about-” George stopped as John let out a laugh mixed with a scream in one of the other rooms. “That?”

“All we can do is wait and-” Paul slapped a hand on his forehead. “Shoot! We have a concert tomorrow!”

“So?”

“So those mad lads will probably have massive hangovers before it starts. John especially.”

“Playing with a hangover? That’s rough.”

“It sure is. They’ll probably crash any minute now and maybe the effects will mellow down by the time of the concert. …Hopefully.”

...

 Much to Paul’s dismay, John and Ringo didn’t mellow down. The drunkards were noisy almost all night. Ringo banged on his drums while John screamed their songs, botching many of the lyrics. He was finishing ‘Twist and Shout’ when someone knocked on the door.

Paul stumbled out of the room he shared with George (and sober Ringo). He tied his robe before answering the door.

“No, I’m not giving out autographs.” he said sleepily.

“But you will settle down in here!” a woman snapped. “I can hardly sleep with all this ruckus!”

“You’re telling me,” Paul muttered with a sigh before telling the woman, “Thanks for letting me know, I’ll take care of it.”

After the woman left and Paul locked the door, he stormed into John’s room, where the drunkards were still singing away.

“Can you lads quiet down a little?” Paul asked.

John and Ringo ignored him.

“Excuse me?”

John continued to scream,

“’She loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah,

She loved me, ooh, yeah, yah,

She love meeeeeee-‘”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!” Paul yelled.

John stopped singing and Ringo stared at him.

“Go to bed, why don’t you?” Paul asked in a much quieter voice.

“’Mkay.” Ringo said before slamming his head on his drum set and instantly falling asleep.

John grinned at the sight of Paul and dashed over to him. “Come over here and kiss me, pretty boy!”

“I think we already did that, thanks.” Paul said, turning his face away.

John managed to kiss Paul’s cheek and giggled.

“Are you happy now?” Paul asked. “Will you finally go to bed?”

“Not until we dance the night away, if you know what I mean.” John replied, his words slurring together.

“I don’t think I want to know what that me- woah!”

Paul was swept away by John, who grabbed him and began whisking him through the room.

“Play us a tune, Rongles.” John told Ringo, who snored.

Paul noticed George standing by the doorway and reached out to him. “George, help me!”

“I’m callin’ him ‘Rongles’ now.” George said before walking away.

“Oh, for cripes’ sake! John, I-”

“Yes, I do wanna marry you!” John exclaimed. He and Paul fell onto the bed.

“Let’s kiss the bri-”

Paul jumped up and backed away. “Go to bed now.” he ordered menacingly.

He slammed the door and John simply shrugged the comment off.

George returned to bed a couple minutes later, where Paul was brooding.

“Thanks for the help, George.” he said.

“You’re quite welcome.” George replied.

Paul groaned and stuffed his face in his pillow as John’s singing started up again.

...

The next morning was full of renewed energy.

Paul, however, was not.

“Sleep well?” George asked.

Paul glared at him, putting his unkempt hair and dark circles under his eyes into full view. “Does it fucking look like I fucking did?”

“…I’m gonna take that as a no, then.”

Paul ran a hand through his hair as he asked, “How are John and Ringo?”

“Ringo’s still sleeping and your boyfriend’s in the bathroom.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend.”

George smiled. “I saw your little dance last night.”

Paul rolled his eyes and went to John’s room. He peeked inside, seeing Ringo fast asleep by his drums. He gave his friend a gentle nudge.

“Wake up, Ringo. It’s morn- Ow!”

Suddenly wide awake, Ringo had sat up with a start, smacking Paul in the face with one of his drumsticks.

“The walrus was Paul all along!” Ringo exclaimed.

“…I don’t think I’m a walrus.” Paul said with a confused blink.

“What if I’m the egg man?” Ringo gasped. “Or… we’re the egg men! You think I’m the walrus? Or maybe it’s still you?”

“I… I don’t- Sure. Make me the walrus. Whatever the heck that means.”

Ringo smiled. “Oh, good! You make wonderful mashed potatoes, by the way.”

“…Thank you…? Speaking of John, do you know where he-”

“HELLO!” John yelled, busting the bathroom door open.

“Oh, dear god, here we go,” Paul muttered before turning around to face his friend. “Good morning, John! Please don’t kiss me again.”

“Why would I kiss you?” John asked. “We’re married! Married people do more than just that…”

Paul quickly walked out of the room and rushed back to the other room, John following him like a puppy. He told his drunken friend, “How about we have a nice, uh… couples breakfast together?”

He cringed somewhat at the idea of him and John as a couple, but John seemed to love it. He practically skipped to the dining area, where he and Paul shared a breakfast of eggs, toast and waffles. John tried to mimic the spaghetti scene in ‘Lady and the Tramp’ more than once, but Paul wouldn’t allow it.

“Go get dressed,” Paul told him. “I-”

“Won’t that be fun!” John exclaimed, gripping Paul’s hand.

Paul jerked his hand away. “Go get dressed with Ringo, why don’t you?”

“But he’s not my husband-”

“Yeah, and I’m not either. So go.”

John lowered his head and trudged to his room, accidentally slamming his head into the wall at one point.

Paul sighed as he asked George, “What are we gonna do about this?”

“Ringo’s alright, I suppose,” George replied. “That extra energy will make his drums better or something.”

“But what about John? We can’t have him screaming on stage.”

“What about ‘Twist and Shout’?”

“Besides that song. If he’s crazy on stage, the fans will notice and the press might spread rumors and- …Well, I don’t want to think about it past that point.”

“I’m sure he’s sober enough now. That long night could’ve tuckered him out a little.”

“Sure tuckered me out,” Paul said with a yawn. “Here’s hoping it goes well.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“The Beatles might become the Drunkles.”

George chuckled at the funny name and smoothed out Paul’s messy hair. “Everything will be alright, Paul. You’ll see.”

...

The concert took place a couple hours later. During the ride there, the driver gave Paul and John funny looks. John kept snuggling up to Paul and fiddling with his hair. Paul ignored it for the most part and kept his gaze out the window, stopping to give John a glare when he pulled too hard.

“They say when a gal pulls a guy’s hair, it means he likes her.” John said in a mix of his usual and high voice.

“…I think it’s the opposite.” George commented quietly.

“It is,” Paul said. “And thank you for that, John. Thanks a lot.”

“You’re welcome, hubby!” John said, receiving another look from the driver.

They soon arrived at the venue.

“Oh god,” Paul muttered before saying, “Here we go. You ready, lads?”

“Readier than Canadaaaaa!” Ringo exclaimed.

“What is it with drunken you and Canada?” George quietly asked his friend.

Once the four were backstage, Paul took George aside.

“I know this is last minute-”

“Way last minute.” George said.

“-but do you have anything that might help John… relax a little?”

John was happily skipping with Ringo in a circle. Paul was glad no one from the stage crew was around to see it.

“I think so,” George looked through his suit pockets and found a pill, which he gave to Paul. “It’s supposed to relax you.”

Paul took the pill and said, “Nice one. Now I’ll just need to find some water-” He stopped as George handed him a bottle of water. “…How did you fit that inside your pockets?”

“As Ringo says, ‘tomorrow never knows’. You think that would be a good song title?”

“Yeah, it would. Speaking of Ringo, keep him at bay while I tackle John.”

“Don’t do it literally. He might think it’s-”

Paul rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up.” he said, giving his friend a teasing smile.

He went over to John, who gave him a big hug.

“Hello, hubby!” he said cheerfully.

“First of all, don’t call me that. Secondly, take this.” Paul handed John the pill.

“Ooh, what is it?”

“Just a relaxing pill,” Paul frowned at John’s wink. “Not for whatever the hell you’re thinking of! Take it and-”

“We’ll go out on a date? I suggest the lake- Ooh! With a rose garden and-”

“-and we’ll get the show started. I can’t guarantee the date will happen.”

The Beatles’ manager, Brian, appeared backstage a minute later.

“You’re on in five minutes,” he said. “I- Ringo, what are you doing?”

Ringo stopped hitting his head with his drumsticks. “Exercise.”

Brian looked at the others.

“It’s not really his day today.” George said softly.

Five minutes later, the announcer said, “Ladies and gentleman… The Beatles!”

Almost earsplitting screams could be heard from past the curtain.

“Well, here goes nothing.” Paul muttered with a sigh.

To his amazement, the concert went just as planned. John only got drunkenly hyper during ‘Twist and Shout’ and messed up a couple verses, but no one noticed thorough the crowd’s screams. Ringo was more energetic than usual and pounded on the drums but it also went unnoticed. Overall, the performance was a success.

“My god, we did it!” Paul exclaimed through the applause once they were all backstage.

John gave Paul a kiss on the cheek, which Paul didn’t mind this time due to his immense relief.

“What did I tell you?” George asked.

“You said everything would be alright.” Paul told him.

“And it was!”

Paul laughed. “I guess them being drunk wasn’t too bad after all!” He frowned and dodged John, who wanted to kiss him on the lips again. “…Mostly.”

...

The four kept up their joyful spirits throughout the ride back to the flat.

But that all went away as soon as John and Ringo stepped inside.

“Lads… I don’t think I feel too well.” Ringo said.

“Same here,” John agreed. “I feel like I’m gonna-”

“Don’t say it. I know, too!”

John and Ringo rushed to the bathroom.

“Who do you think is using the sink?” George asked. “Can’t brush my teeth tonight without it.”

“Probably neither. Knowing John, he’s probably using the shower,” Paul shook his head with a smile. “I’m glad this is all over with.”

“I am, too. You think John would mind if we used the bathroom in him and Cynthia’s room?”

“Probably. I’ll use it just to spite him.”

“Even though he feels awful right now?”

Paul laughed. “He deserves it after snogging me in the kisser!”

“And it sure was a snog.” George muttered to himself.

A few minutes later, Ringo groaned softly as he snuggled into a sofa pillow.

“Are you feeling alright?” George asked his friend gently.

“I feel like I went on a submarine,” Ringo replied. “It was yellow and I think we stopped at a garden with an octopus.”

George soothingly stroked Ringo’s hair. “We all feel like that sometimes, don’t we?”

On the opposite side of the living room, John was groaning loudly, one arm draped over his eyes.

“Bloody hell, what did I do last night?” he asked no one in particular.

“Um… drank three types of alcohol and danced around like a mad man?” Paul guessed.

“Four. It was four types.”

“Really? I only tasted wine, beer and whiskey. What was the other one?”

“How the fuck should I remem-” John stopped and lifted his arm. “How do you know what I had?”

“Oh… let’s just say you may or may not have kissed me for five agonizing seconds last night. And professed your drunken love to me multiple times. And genuinely thought we were married. Did I mention the kiss already?”

John’s eyes widened. “Oh god-”

He cut himself off and ran to the bathroom, his footsteps pounding on the floor.

“Nice to have things back to normal, isn’t it?” George asked with a smile.

Paul smiled back with a nod. “I have to say it sure is!”