#mutuals start up a war with me pls

[taesanluv3r]

build-a-bear.

kim woonhak x reader

idol! woonhak x non-idol! reader, established relationship. based on this woonhak scenario i wrote a while back!! cuss words, first i love yous. lowercase intended. pls excuse any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. enjoyy <3

wc: 3,324

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"fine then." - "fine!"

those were the last two words kim woonhak and yn ln had spoken to each other before she had slammed her front door shut on his face, before he had angrily turned around and begun walking towards the exit of her apartment building, before she had shut her blinds and stuffed her head deep into her white sheets, staining the fabric with silly little tears.

they didn't want to fight. in fact, the young couple rarely ever did so in the first place. however, with the newly debuted idol boy's rising fame, and the girl's growing insecurities, it was almost inevitable this one particular argument was going to come up onto the surface of their otherwise wholesome relationship.

you see, yn and woonhak have known each other for ages now. when he first started showing signs of his dream career, she was the first to support him- heck! she even came to all the auditions with him and gave him endless moral support. similarly, he was always there for her, accompanying her when she had to study late for an exam, or even sending her chocolates and other sweets when it was that time of the month. the pair have mutually liked each other forever, and they both knew that as well. it didn't take them long at all before they started officially dating, sharing one awkward kiss under the moonlight before he left again to the next city over to start the preparations for his coming debut.

from then on, she started seeing him less and less. their daily conversations on the phone had become simple good night and good morning texts that don't really give her much of a serotonin boost anymore. she missed him, and she always let him know. he missed her too, he just didn't have the time to tell her. she'd complain about it, "you don't have time for me anymore, huh?" and he'd furrow his eyebrows, "i have a job to do, yn. i thought you supported me the most?" then she'd gasp, taken aback by his words, her own eyebrows knitting together and her eyes almost glowing red in anger. for a second, she saw the way his eyes watered, like he knew he was wrong. but kim woonhak was stubborn, quickly shaking away that look and mimicking her own furious one. and that's how it happened. that's how they ended up in this battle of silence, secretly waiting for the other to break and end this cold war they didn't even want in the first place.

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woonhak sighs as he finally takes off his shoes. schedules ended earlier and the boy still had practically the whole day to do whatever he wanted. he watched as his members went their own ways, leehan and riwoo heading to some cafe, taesan locking himself up in his studio as per usual, sungho going out to see a movie, and jaehyun...sitting on the couch in the middle of a very serious fifa game.

"so where you headed, broski?" jaehyun suddenly asks the boy, still not looking away from the TV screen. "going to see your girlfriend? or are you still not talking to her like an idiot?" he snickered, earning a big eye roll and middle finger directed at his face from the younger boy. "i don't know hyung...i mean i obviously want to see her...but i'm not sure how she'll forgive me when i've been such an asshole" woonhak says, slumping himself down on the spot beside the older member. "just...ah-!" jae cut himself off when he misses a goal in the video game, "just go get her a gift or something- don't girls like that stuff?" once again the younger one rolls his eyes, but he nods at his leader's suggestion. "i guess you're right hyung...i'm gonna go to the mall and find something" and with that the kim boy gets up, slipping back on his shoes and grabbing himself a cap to cover up his messy hair before running out the door and down the building to call himself a taxi.

woonhak arrives at the mall, dragging his feet solemnly as he passed by multiple young couples on dates. "seriously...it's not even valentine's day...why is everyone out on a date here right now?!" he grumbled to himself, probably looking like a big ol' loser to the outside eyes that felt like they lingered on him as he walked. the boy circles the mall for what he swore were hours but he found nothing at all that was worthy enough to gift his angry girlfriend. "ugh..." the boy groans as he's one step closer to giving up and just meeting with her empty handed like the idiot that everyone kept saying he was. however, all those doubts immediately exited his head when a familiar large sign appears in his line of sight. it's bright yellow with a giant brown bear and beside it in big blue lettering, it read:

build-a-bear workshop.

"perfect!" he almost said too loudly as his eyes gleamed and began to sparkle. in the moment it seemed as though a big bright light-bulb had gone off in his head, his large feet padding against the floor and taking him into the kid's doll factory. the boy's eyes were wide and his mouth hung opened as he took in his surroundings. a huge variety of stuffed animals, in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and designs stood against every corner of the shop. on high shelves, rows and rows of clothes, all perfectly tailored to fit the standard plush toy size.

woonhak didn't know where to start. the loud speakers that played recent k-pop hits, mixed with the sound of little kids running around and dragging their parents in and out of the store made his ears ring and head hurt a little. his finger grazed against the wood as he scanned through every skin you could pick for your toy, there were cats, dogs, even moths! but one thing in particular caught the boy's attention. right there in the very corner of the store, just a simple brown bear. there was only one left in stock and it was just perfect. it's fur was light brown, it's legs were slightly longer than it should be, and it had the sweetest set of little dark brown orbs for eyes. even if he tried to, woonhak couldn't deny the fact that the teddy was nearly the spitting image of himself.

"okay, now rub the heart against your chest, hold it in your palms and give it your best wishes!" the tall guy's cheeks turn bright red as he follows the bear stuff-er's instructions, praying to god no one recognized him beneath his cap and beginning to regret doing all of this in the first place. it was all over in a second though, the bear being all stuffed up, it's heart and a little recording he did all wrapped up warmly inside it's cotton flesh. now it was time to dress it. woonhak hasn't really had any experience dressing anyone but himself, so it was really hard for him to not dress the plush toy like it had just raided his own closet. and so, naturally, the boy chooses a light blue jersey and a miniature pair of denim jeans, a cute pair of black sunglasses as an add-on accessory to it's look as well.

"now, all that's left to do is to name it...but what..." he mumbles to himself, tapping his fingers against the surface of the table that was much much shorter than him. "hey mister" a squeaky voice, and the feeling of his sweatshirt getting tugged down shakes him out of his thoughts. "huh?" he asked, looking down to meet eyes with a little girl. "mister, that doll looks just like you!" her eyes disappeared as she smiled- well, if you could even see them under her thick bangs that messily decorated her forehead, and she shot him a toothy grin. "me?" the boy asks, beginning to smile too at the sweet girl. "mhm!" she says finally before running away. "great..." he says, smiling proudly at himself as he begins to type out the teddy's name for it's birth certificate.

"there you go, have a nice day and come again soon!" woonhak nods, thanking the cashier before leaving the store. "like hell i'm going in there again..." he whispers to himself, the image of his own self awkwardly pressing kisses onto a miniature plastic heart in the middle of a kid's store flashing in his head as he began to walk out of the mall and into a cab. he's on his way back to the dorm now, trying his best to stuff the build-a-bear box in his large tote-bag so that his group members wouldn't see it. cause if they ever did, he'd never ever hear the end of it. woonhak throws his shoes off on the rack, quickly making his way over to his bedroom and trying his best to avoid his hyungs that were playing together in the living area. "so, what you got there, woonagi~?" leehan called out from the bean-bag on the floor. "yeah bro, show us what you got for your girl~friend~" taesan follows, dragging out his words teasingly. "it's nothing, leave me alone! and DON'T come in the room" the tall maknae boy says sternly, narrowing his eyes at the others who just stifled in their laughs and nodded.

the kim guy can't help but giggle like a child as he pulls out the doll, sighing once as he places it and it's papers into a different bag; a gift bag he had picked up before leaving the mall, it was pink and just the right size to fit the rather beefy bear. "now...the hard part" he sighs once more as he picks up his phone, his chatroom with her vacant, no new messages since their argument the other day. it felt foreign, unusual for he always had new messages from her. the boy takes a deep breath, fingers tapping softly against the screen of his phone as he began to type. it takes him a while though, coming up with a sentence and then deleting it all and starting again and again, until finally, he pressed send.

i know u hate me rn but i literally cant function without u pls meet me at the park tonight let me make it up to u please?

the boy doesn't expect her to open his texts so fast, he finds himself twirling his lips against his teeth as he watches the way three dots begin to bounce up and down on her side of the chatroom. he doesn't even realize he's holding his breath until her response causes him to let it all out. it's simple, dry, still unlike her, but at least it's something.

my love<3 ok, see u in 5.

"bye guys wish me luck" woonhak calls out as he rushes out the door, the sound of his confused (but supportive) members growing faint as the door closes behind him.

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by the time the boy gets to the park she was already there. yn ln, sitting patiently against the green grass. her hair fell loose against the skin of her arms, he could see from where he stood afar the way the breeze sent a shiver down her spine. "how long have you been waiting?" he asks, finally sitting down beside her. "not long" yn's words are cold, much like the atmosphere of the night. and her eyes stayed glued towards the distance, juxtaposing the way his ones remained fixed onto her.

"please look at me" woonhak practically begs, not really knowing when or how his voice got so small. the girl's breath hitches, tears threating to spill out of her eyes as she lets out a sigh and closes them shut. "yn..." he drags out, a shaky hand reaching over to turn her head to face his. "please?" he asks again. this time, she opens her eyes, tearing up slightly at the very sight of him. she couldn't do it anymore. she can't sit there and pretend to hate him, pretend to be angry at him, pretend she didn't miss him. she can't lie anymore. "woonhak" she says, her voice warmer now and a hint of content laced in the way that she spoke. "hey" he said, a smile beginning to grow against his face. "hey" she repeated, her own lips flipping up as well.

"i'm so sorry" the boy says, scooting to sit closer to her. "why? i should be the sorry one, i was being inconsiderate and-" the girl couldn't finish. "no! i was being selfish. this whole idol thing...it's so busy but that doesn't mean i get to be a total asshole about it to you...so, i'm sorry, yn" the features on her face soften as she looks into the genuine sorrow in his own. she lets out a laugh, confusing the boy a little. "don't worry...i get it. i guess i just...missed you, a little, that's all" yn reasons, a sweet smile tugging at her mouth as she slowly leans her head against his shoulder. woonhak reacts almost immediately, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her deep into his embrace. "i...i missed you too"

"what's in the bag?"

the boy sits up straight when her question slips into his ears. "ah! this...this is just a gift i got you...um...here!" he stutters a bit, suddenly flustered by his own romantic gesture. "for me?!" she gasps and he nods, scratching the back of his head, though there was nothing itchy about it at all. "wow...rising rookie idol kim woonhak of boynextdoor bought little ol' me a gift?!" now he rolls his eyes, as if he were telling his girlfriend to shut up and open it already.

"what is it...?" yn mumbles just above a whisper, carefully opening up the ribbon and revealing the insides of the pink paper bag. her mouth drops open as she pulls the bear out, squealing all too loudly as her eyes adored the jersey-wearing teddy bear in her hands. "ah! i love it i love it!" she cheered, wrapping the doll in her arms and hugging it so tight it might just explode. her eyes gleamed, looking up at her boyfriend then back at the bear and then right back at him again. "where's the birth certificate thingy...wait" yn spoke, looking back in the bag for the printed piece of paper. "hah!" she exclaimed, her smile reaching her eyes as she read through her doll's information. "birth name...kim unak...how...fitting" she said, shooting her boyfriend a look of slight disbelief he would name a doll after himself. "hey! don't look at me like that, some kid said he looked like me!" woonhak argued, grabbing the bear and holding it up beside his face. "hm...the kid was so right" yn replied, finding the resemblance quite cute.

"thank you woonhak, i love it..." her loving expression as she patted a hand against the fur of the stuffed toy's head was enough to satisfy the boy for the rest of his life. "oh! and...um...if you ever miss me when i'm busy...just press on his hand- but not right now! it's embarrassing! do it later!" he panics, sighing in relief when she moves her hand away from the heart-shaped patch on the bear's one. "okay then..."

the rest of the night was spent in peace. just a couple of sweet teens finding comfort in each other's arms after being separated from each other for far too long (it's been like two days pls don't be dramatic). "and so then i told professor yang about it and he totally freaked and...are you even listening to me?" yn stops mid-story, her head that laid on his lap shifting slightly to get a better look at his face. the face that stayed still staring at her blankly, his large hand mindlessly stroking her hair as she talked about whatever it was that he didn't really seem to be listening to well enough. "hello? woonhak?" he shook his head, "huh? what? sorry...i got kind of distracted" she chuckles, rolling her eyes playfully as she sits back up. "am i distracting you with my beauty again?" yn teases, loving the way his cheeks grow red and his hands fly up to cover his face. she giggles, pushing the boy down on his shoulders, sending him toppling on his back onto the grass.

she hovers over him, moving his hands away so she could see him clearly against the bright moonlight. the boy smiles softly at her, reaching up to push her hair behind her ears. his hand lingers, moving to cup at her blushy cheeks. yn giggles, finding his touch ticklish against her skin. "yn..." he begins, voice rather raspy from the way he fully laid down on the ground. "mhm?" she hums, head tilting to the side in curiosity as her boyfriend sat up again.

"i love you"

his voice was clear now, not a single bit of shakiness or fear in the way that he spoke. she smiled, not even a little bit shocked from the words that came out of his mouth because she knew. she knew all along that he felt that way, and she knew that she had always felt the same way for him too, she had just been waiting for the right moment where one of them would say it out loud first. yn presses a hand on either side of his warm complexion, pulling him in for a short kiss. it was sweet, a honey flavour from her lip-balm seeping onto his tongue. then they parted, hands still holding onto each other's faces and she smiles, he's grinning with all his teeth showing.

"i love you too, woonhak"

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later that night when yn ln got home, she hastily kicked off her shoes and ran straight to her bedroom. she didn't even care to properly put away her bag and her coat, jumping straight onto her bed and pulling out the brown teddy her boyfriend had gifted her earlier.

"...if you ever miss me when i'm busy...just press on his hand" his words replayed in her mind, "press on his hand..." she whispered to herself, carefully gripping onto the stuffed toy's hand, putting just enough pressure on it until she heard a click of a button. a moment of silence engulfed the atmosphere around her, just a moment before woonhak's voice began to sing out of the cheapest sounding speaker located within the bear.

"Mm mm 지금 내 playlist...금요일에 시간 어때요? 내 새벽을 망치지 마요..."

his own song, his debut song. he sang it just for her. her own serenade to listen to whenever they couldn't meet...

aw, rising rookie idol kim woonhak from boynextdoor...what a sweetheart, you are <3

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"i'm home! hyung...? what are you guys laughing about?" woonhak furrows his eyebrows as he walks towards the living room. riwoo sighs, calming down from his fit of laughter. "so...did she like the build-a-bear?" he asked, breaking into hysterics once again, as did the others. "huh? WHAT HOW'D YOU FIND OUT?" the maknae boy couldn't believe his ears, eyes widening and mouth dropping opened. "woonhak...it's all over the internet!" sungho exclaims, turning his phone over to show him the source of all their laughter right now.

"what...oh my god" the boy's whole body grows a ripe-tomato-shade of red. there, on the older member's screen, a fan-taken video of him at the build-a-bear store, the cap on his head failing to hide the obvious embarrassment on his face as he stands near the stuffing machine of the store, awkwardly wishing his newly stuffed teddy a good life and rubbing it's plastic heart within his palms.

at least his girlfriend's reaction was worth it...cause there's no fucking way his hyungs are ever gonna let this one go...EVER!

the end.

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i feel like this sucked but it's cute idk idk idk i just want loverboy woonhak so soososososo badly hes so sweet :( i locve him im crying while typing this btw hope u enjoyed TT reblogs n feedbacks r soso appreciated i love u guys so much. love, kona. MWAHHHH

[motherofthechickensandwich]

✰ enemy!yord fandar x enemy!jedi!reader ✰ 18+ ONLY!!! minors pls dni! content warnings: smut, unprotected sex, not edited lol, enemies to lovers(?), pre-The Acolyte (2024), star wars cussing™ that turns into regular cussing, incorrect star wars lore, i literally haven't seen the newest two episodes so don't come for me notes: new fic format!!! cuz i'm tired of titling and formatting my fics like my old format was so fugly! also i posted a new masterlist that i will be updating as these fics come out. i have a couple of them cooking up in the notes app so be on the lookout guys! also rip yord and jecki i am still heartbroken. as always, if you have any thoughts or criticism (pls be nice), please slide me an ask! enjoy!

summary: too lazy to come up with a good summary ermmmmm ok so you're a jedi alongside yord but you two hate each other but oops now you're hate-fucking! also you get a purple lightsaber cuz i said so

You would be the first to admit that you were not the greatest Jedi in the Order. While you are pretty well-attuned to the Force, decent with a lightsaber, and can practically recite the Jedi Code backwards, in a handstand, while balancing the most fragile of relics from the library on your feet, you still had yet to learn how to manage your emotions.

You are one to feel strongly. You have always been, ever since you were a youngling. Your oftentimes intense feelings clashed with one of the biggest Jedi teachings of mastering one’s own emotions. Unlike most (maybe even all) Jedi, you are quick to become irritated and have a distinct lack of patience that is typically required for a life in the Jedi Order. Your master had often admonished you during your Padawanship for your “passionate” nature. You aren’t sure passionate is the correct word to describe the common source of your irritability: Yord Fandar.

Growing up, you and Yord were close, proximity-wise, but never emotionally. At best, you both tolerated each other’s presence, but you were never friends. Your masters were good friends, sure, but you two certainly were not. You always preferred the company of Osha, a mutual friend with Yord who often played the reluctant peacekeeper between the two of you, but she had left the Order a long time ago. Shortly after her departure, the small sense of peace between you and Yord had all but disappeared. You both found yourself more and more annoyed with each other. To you, Yord Fandar was a stickler, overachiever, and, quite frankly, a boot-kisser. You couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times you’ve rolled your eyes at the way he practically worshiped the ground Master Sol walked on. Everything he did made your blood boil, and you were not afraid to make it abundantly clear.

Yord had also made it abundantly clear that he didn’t like you, except that he did it in the most Jedi way possible, which made you hate dislike him even more. He would chastise you like a child (as if you two weren’t the same damn age), give you sharp looks whenever you did anything he didn’t like (which was most things), and would oftentimes ignore you in conversation or group settings. That is, until you eventually got on each other’s nerves so much that you would start bickering, which would cause even the most patient Jedi Master to roll their eyes.

Yord drove you crazy in a way that no one else did. You did just the same to him; he had told you as such during one of your spats. It had become so much of an issue that the Council had to have an intervention. After hours of bickering and snarking, Grand Master Yoda’s solution was for you to just avoid each other as much as possible. But the Jedi Temple was only so big.

You’re practicing your lightsaber forms in one of the older, smaller training rooms tucked deep within the Temple. Very few Jedi ever come there besides you. There’s a rumor that the younglings spread around about the room being haunted. But really, no one comes there because the room is subpar compared to other training rooms.

You’re facing yourself in the large mirror, watching as your body clunkily switches from form to form, occasionally striking at an invisible enemy. The door to the room suddenly slides open with a hiss, breaking your concentration. You look through the mirror toward the intruder, and feel your face and mood sour when you realize that it's Yord kriffing Fandar.

You instantly break your form and turn to glare at him. Before you can open your mouth to snap at him, he speaks.

“Your lightsaber is still on.”

You glance down at your hand to see it gripping the hilt of your definitely-still-on lightsaber. You stare at the purple blade before quickly deactivating it.

“Also, you shouldn’t be pointing it at the ground,” he adds. “That’s how you end up injuring yourself or others.”

Yord walks over to a bench, which sits at the other side of the room across from the mirror. You scowl at his back.

“I know that, Yord. It’s almost as if we trained together.”

“Then do better,” he replied smoothly, removing his robes, folding them, and placing them on the bench.

You can feel your blood boiling. You just hate the way he condescends you, as if you’re still a Padawan! You try to think of an insult to hurl, something that’ll really get under his skin, but your thoughts halt as you realize Yord is stripping himself of his shirt. You watch with wide eyes as he removes the beige fabric, revealing his skin. You stare at his muscled back and shoulders, watching them flex as he removes the shirt completely and folds it, placing it on the bench next to his robes. He turns around to see you staring and raises an eyebrow. Your face begins to feel hot, both at being caught and at remembering that you’re only in a bra and tight athletic pants. You quickly turn around to continue your forms.

As you begin practicing again, you ask, “Why are you here, anyway?”

Yord walks up next to you, trying to leave space, but it’s difficult in this small of a room. He ignites his yellow saber and closes his eyes, inhaling deeply.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” he says, opening his eyes and exhaling. “But I’m practicing my forms, not that I need it.”

You roll your eyes at his “subtle” gloating.

“Just don’t distract me,” you say, moving into Form I.

Yord glances at you in the mirror before moving into Form I as well.

“You seemed pretty distracted just a moment ago without my help.”

Your face feels even hotter and you want to scream. But instead you mutter a quiet “whatever” and move into Form II. Yord does the same. The both of you move in sync, but Yord, as much as you hate to admit it, is far better than you. You’re not used to all the forms, having specialized in Form V, but Yord seems to have mastered each step of every one. He quickly goes from I to II, II to III, III to IV, and so on. You, however, are still struggling with Form III. Occasionally you can see Yord look at you in the mirror, and though his expression remains neutral, you know the bastard is feeling smug inside.

Frustration builds as you attempt to go through the forms once more, only to stop at III when you realize you messed up yet again. Yord continues on, gracefully moving like it's nothing. The final straw is when you realize he’s not even breaking a sweat when you most definitely are. You let out a frustrated groan, deactivate your lightsaber, and walk to the bench to put your robes and shoes on so you can go back to your quarters and sulk at being bested by Yord, again!

As you sit on the bench, resting for a minute, you find your gaze drifting back to Yord. He’s staring at himself in the mirror, clearly concentrated, so you’re not worried about him catching you looking this time.

You stare at him unabashedly as his body contorts into the various forms, switching between them like it was nothing. He’s fast and smooth, much like a rolling river. And, like everything he does, it pisses you off.

The words blurt out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Let’s duel.”

Yord stops and lowers his blade, looking back at you in the mirror. His chest quickly rises and falls. He nods, and you know you’re going to regret this.

You hop up from the bench and the two of you take your places across from each other. Yord bows and activates his lightsaber, entering the beginning stance for Form VI. You don’t bow back. Instead you activate your saber and enter Form V. You both stare at each other. The room is completely silent other than the sounds of your sabers humming. Normally, duels between Jedi are meant for practice. Often, they’re all in good fun. But you want to destroy Yord. You can tell he wants to do the same, no matter how much Jedi restraint he has.

You strike first, which surprises the both of you. Form V is a defense-and-counter form, not one meant for striking first. But you do anyway, and Yord blocks your saber with his own. You continue slashing at him, letting your rage flow with each swipe of your blade. Yord looks almost afraid as you continue your assault, pushing him closer and closer to the wall behind you. You raise your lightsaber over your head, ready to knock him into the wall, when you feel the Force pushing you away. You struggle to find your footing, but when you do, you glare at Yord. He’s standing there with his hand out, saber deactivated, breathing heavily, and glaring right back.

“That wasn’t proper dueling procedure,” he fumes. “You were out of line.”

“I’m out of line?” you almost shout, deactivating your saber. “You’re out of line! You interrupted my practice with your stupid presence.”

“It’s a public training room!”

“So?”

“So, I have every right to be here. Though, given your performance just now, you should be questioning your right to be here.”

You pause.

“What are you saying?” you ask slowly.

Yord huffs. “You are undisciplined, disobedient, bad-tempered, foul-mouthed, and if I’m being honest, completely unfit to be a Jedi.”

His words echo violently through your head, almost feeling like a physical knocking in your skull. You feel your eyes burning. Your whole body tingles. You can’t even think. Yord’s words ring through your head, the only thing you can focus on. Your mind screams at you to say something, do anything!

So you attack.

You lunge at Yord with a feral snarl. His eyes widen as you grab his shoulder and dig your nails into his bare flesh. Yord grabs your waist in an attempt to shove you away from him, but the two of you begin toppling over before he can. You land on your back. Yord attempts to pin you down, but you lock your legs around his waist and flip the both of you over. The two of you roll around the training room in a violent ball of limbs until you finally use all of your strength to slam Yord’s shoulders into the ground while you straddle his waist with your knees on his hands, keeping him pinned beneath you. 

He thrashes beneath you violently. He bucks his hips up in an attempt to throw you off of him, but you slam your hips down to keep him trapped beneath you. Yord lets out a loud moan. You both pause. His cheeks burn a darker shade as you both stare at each other.

“Did-did you just-”

“Shut up!” Yord snaps. “Get off of me, right now, or I’ll-”

You roll your hips experimentally. Yord lets out a groan as his head falls back to the floor. The sound sends a flash of heat right to your groin. On top of that, you can feel Yord’s dick harden beneath you. You roll your hips again a few times, relishing in Yord’s sweet sounds and the delicious friction between your clothed sexes until you realize what you’re doing.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize over and over again as you stop and begin to get up. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I-”

Yord grabs your waist before you can get up and grinds you down against his cock. You let out a tiny whimper as a shock of pleasure runs through your body.

“Don’t stop,” he begs. “Please.”

You take a second to look into his eyes, trying to see if this is something he really wants. For a minute, you’re not even sure if you really want this. Sexual relationships between Jedi are forbidden. If you’re caught, there will be punishment. Ideally, you should get off of him right now and leave, never to speak of this again. But all that rationality goes out the window when he grinds against you again.

You continue dry humping each other, a chorus of groans and moans and whimpers flooding the room. At some point you find your lips on Yord’s chest, biting and sucking at the sensitive flesh. Yord mewls enthusiastically as you mark him. You move up to his collarbone, then neck and then you pull away. You want to kiss him. But it’s almost too intimate, even despite the context of what you were doing. So you dive back into the other side of his neck before he can do anything, drawing out those sweet, sweet sounds.

“Fuck me,” he moans. “Please. I need it. I need you.”

His begging is so fucking good that you can’t help but give in. As you stand, you realize there’s a wet patch on your pants and his, exposing how turned on you truly are. You shimmy out of your pants and bra, leaving you completely bare. On the ground, Yord does the same, sliding his pants down to the middle of his thighs. His tan cock slaps against his toned stomach, hard and throbbing and pretty. The sight makes your mouth water. In any other scenario, you would take it into your mouth and give him the best head of his life, but you’re too desperate. You really want to hate to admit it, but you need Yord inside of you.

You hover above Yord, spitting into your hand and jerking him off. He bucks his hips up into your fist, biting his lip. His hands claw at the ground, desperate to hold onto something. He looks so fucking good beneath you. You angle yourself and his cock so that the tip goes inside of you. You both hiss at the tightness of your cunt as you slowly lower yourself down onto him. The stretch initially burns, but then turns into pleasure. You’re both sweating and desperate. You just want to fuck him already.

Once he bottoms out inside you, you sigh at the feeling of fullness. His cock feels too good within you. You’ve missed this feeling. If you could, you would just sit here forever, full of cock. But you don’t have forever, so you press your hands onto his large pectorals and slowly lift your hips before bringing them down. Yord’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he moans loudly. You repeat the motion until you're fully riding him. The room begins to get hot and humid, with the smell of arousal permeating the air. The sounds of your breathy whines, Yord’s deep moans, and the wet slapping and squelching sounds of your hips meeting fill the room.

You look up and catch your own gaze in the mirror. You watch as you lift your hips up and down, your tits bouncing. You see Yord writing in ecstasy below you, his strong hands digging into your waist.

You look mesmerizing.

Yord’s fingers pinching your nipple brings you back to him. You let out a short squeal as he repeats the motion to your other nipple, alternating between the two. After a minute, his hand finds its way back to your waist in a bruising grip while the other begins kneading the fat of your ass. His eyes squeeze shut as you move your lips back to the junction between his jaw and neck.

“I’m so fucking close,” he sobs. Then he begs for something you don’t expect.

“Kiss me, please.”

You sense an opportunity here. You grin mischievously into his skin before pulling back.

“How badly do you want it, huh? Are you gonna apologize for being so fucking mean earlier? Huh?”

Yord opens his eyes, and you see he’s struggling to hold back tears.

“Yes! I’m-I’m sorry, shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m sorryI’msorry, please, please, I’m so close, just kiss me-”

You can’t find it in yourself to deny him any longer. His pleading is too fucking pretty. You slam your lips onto his in an attempt to steal his words for yourself. Your eyes shut, not caring to see if his eyes aren’t. His lips feel cool and smooth against your own slightly dry ones. Your lips quickly overlap and you begin sucking his bottom lip, gently nipping as your hips begin to speed up. You break the kiss and he chases your lip, but you give him what he wants and kiss him again. It’s wet and sloppy and hot. It’s everything you want, everything you need.

You pull apart once more, a string of saliva connecting you both before it breaks and drops onto both of your chins.

“Shitttttt,” Yord curses. “I’m gonna cum. Please can I cum? Please, please I need to cum inside of you.”

Fuck. Again, you can’t deny him.

You kiss him again, softer and more intimate than before. Something about the softness does something to Yord, and then he’s there. His body tenses, then he shivers, and you can feel him explode inside of you as he moans into your mouth. Tears of pleasure run down his face as his hot cum paints the walls of your cunt. You continue riding him through his orgasm, chasing your own release. You’re close, but you need something to really send you over the edge. Your thinking ceases as Yord’s hand moves between your legs, finding your clit and rubbing tight circles into it.

“Yes, yes, yes, right there!” you chant as your orgasm creeps closer and closer.

When it finally happens, it’s like a star collapsing. You choke on your moans. Your vision nearly goes white as your gummy walls squeeze Yord’s cock, causing both of you to moan. You rock your hips as he continues playing with your clit, guiding you through your orgasm until your hips stop spasming. 

You collapse on top of him, your tits pressing against his chest. Your face rests between his collar and jaw. Yord’s arms go to wrap around you, one around your waist and the other around your back and mid-arms. You both breathe heavily, letting each other come down from the intense throes of pleasure. It feels good to be held in his strong arms.

After a while your senses come back to you. You should go. But Yord’s grip around you is unwavering. He seems to be in no rush. So you relax in his hold and close your eyes. A voice in the back of your mind asks how you’ll deal with this change event that has undoubtedly changed you and Yord’s relationship forever, but you push your thoughts to the side and wrap your own arms around him in return. When the time comes, you’ll deal with it. But for now, you just want to rest in Yord’s arms.

[lovemyromance]

Stop trying to bait us. All you do is make endless posts about how much Elucien and Gwynriel suck, trying to get one of us to respond so you can argue with them. Too bad nearly every single mutual I know has blocked your account, and for good reason. You're toxic as hell

???

LOL, you think I make Elriel posts to bait antis into fighting with me??

Pls, heavenly father, give me patience to deal with this troll

Every single one of my posts is tagged #antielucien (except one post where I was trying to ask a genuine question, not trying to start anything). Not even #anti elucien - so they algorithm doesn't even have a chance of putting it in the Elucien tag. How am I trying to bait people when I literally tag everything properly?

And before anyone even comes at me for the #elain #azriel tags - I see plently, PLENTY of elucien/gwynriel posts with Elain and Azriel tagged. But if I see it's #anti-elriel , I don't respond. I know it's not meant for me. And yet, I see so, so many antis commenting on Elriel, #anti E/L or G/A posts just because they see #lucien or #gwyn tagged. They know it's not for them, and yet, here we are.

Also - I can literally count on one hand the amount of times I have gone onto an anti-elriel post. The first time was when I was brand new and didn't realize this ship war was that serious (have learned my lesson since). Another time when I was defending another Elriel who got bombarded with Elucien trolls. The other 2-3 times I have commented on an anti post have been because the OP indirectly or directly referenced me, specifically.

It's funny you say that, because I haven't gone onto Elucien & Gwynriel blogs to rile them up in their comments/reblogs. They're the ones who start fights in my replies/reblogs. I simply respond to them, matching their energy. If they come onto my blog with a genuine question, I answer it sincerely. If they come looking for a fight, then they'll get a fight :) Because I don't tolerate personal disrespect when we're debating fucking fictional characters.

So it really does not change my life in any shape or form if the Elucien/Gwynriel blogs block me. I don't look at their posts, comment on them, or even go on their pages. It literally makes zero difference if they block me, and in fact, if they really can't stand to see a post with a different opinion than theirs, then I highly encourage that they block me. I'd enjoy being able to post my thoughts without any drama.

I usually just scroll past a post if I don't agree/don't like it. And I don't follow any tags, including elriel, so I see a LOT of anti-posts every single day. It's a little thing called self-control, feel free to exercise the right to have some. And if you really, really, don't have any, then feel free to block the Elriel tag too.

Hope this helps :)

[ohthatstragic]

Could you write something with a shy reader for Rooster? 🫣

I have multiple forms of severe anxiety and get extremely overwhelmed in crowds unless I have someone I trust with me and I’m allowed to hold their hand, so I thought it might be cute for maybe Rooster taking his partner (or even just his friend, who they share feelings for each other bc friends to lovers is iconic) to meet the other pilots and he realizes they’re starting to get a bit fidgety so he just immediately takes their hand or puts his arm around them, not calling much attention to their anxiety, and silently comforting them and helping them become more at ease around his friends 🥺

Anxious Attachments - b.b

a/n: hello there, and thank you for requesting such a sweet thing :,) i'm so sorry for the long wait, there is just a lot of requests to work through, and also life! i hope you enjoy this anon <3

i am working through them all! i promise <333

also pls don’t repost or translate any of my work.. i don’t give you permission to do that.

pairings: rooster x reader

warnings: mentions of anxiety, swearing once or twice i think, fluff hehe

wc: 1,507

summary: as above!

Every night you lay in the shared bed between you and Rooster, you always thought he had been sent to you by a Guardian Angel - or something along the lines of that. He was the perfect man to you. A six-foot-tall bundle of care and love. How you were so lucky to have him love you... it was just something you could never get your head around. The two of you had met through mutual friends at a birthday party a couple years back, and ever since the moment you laid eyes on each other, you'd been inseparable. He'd grown to love each and every part of you through the ups and downs of your relationship, and you were so grateful to how accepting and caring he was towards your anxiety.

Today of all days, you were going to meet his friends, and you couldn't be more terrified. Of course, Rooster had reassured you multiple times that they were the best people in the world and that they'd obviously love you. The anxiety and overthinking in your brain of course held you hostage and twisted his words into something along the lines of: they'll probably hate you and talk shit about you after you've turned your back.

"You almost ready to go, baby?" Rooster poked his head around the bedroom door, a pair of fingers wrapping around the wood. A happy grin worked it's way onto his lips as he stared at you, admiring you in all your beauty. You turned to face him, a nervous smile painting your face. "You look beautiful, honey." Rooster sighed with the same cheerful grin and brought himself into the room, slowly padding over to you with open arms. You felt a burning blush creep onto your cheeks as he let his big brown eyes rake over your dressed figure.

"Thanks, Roo," You said back with a quiet giggle, happily accepting his hug as he wrapped his strong arms around your smaller figure. "Are they all there already?" You asked, voice muffled as you had pressed your face into his chest.

"Yeah," He hummed, still keeping you wrapped up underneath him. You felt so safe in his arms, and in all honesty - you never, ever wanted to leave. "I'm gonna be beside you the whole time, baby." Rooster added after a short while of silence, knowing that there was most likely a war going on in your mind. He'd been with you long enough to know how your anxiety fucked with your head before going out somewhere to a foreign land. That land being a bar full of raucous naval pilots.

"I know, I know," You mumbled back, pulling your head out of the safety of his big chest. You looked up at your tall and tanned boyfriend and a small smile creeped onto your lips. "I wish I could stay here forever." You said, leaning your chin onto him. Rooster smiled down at you and chuckled, his teeth poking out from underneath his moustache.

"Me too, honey, me too." Rooster muttered with a gentle sigh, and leant his head down to press a soft kiss to your lips, reluctantly loosening his arms around you. You bit back the whine that threatened to slip from you as Rooster let his arms fall from you, your eyes still trained on each other. "Ready to go?" He asked you, taking your hands in his own. With a hesitant smile you nodded at him, silently answering his question. A grin spread across his face and you instantly felt part of your worry melt away as you watched his eyes crease and his moustache grow wide in a show of happiness.

****

The bar was buzzing with life as Rooster and you walked in together. Your eyes flicked around the room, crowds and seas of people dotting the tables and booths scattered throughout the bar. You clung to Rooster's arm, your chest suddenly feeling tight and barely breathable. Rooster noticed the sudden change in your grip on his arm, and he glanced down at you, worry in his eyes. 

"You okay?" Your boyfriend whispered in your ear, making you look up at him quickly with a frantic look in your eye. Not wanting to be a nuisance, you nodded and put on a fake smile, encouraging him to keep walking.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." You smiled up at him and he stared at you for a moment, not totally convinced that you were telling the truth. Rooster didn't want to press you so he accepted your words and walked towards the group of his friends you came to meet; a concerned smile playing on his lips. He pressed a quick, soothing kiss to the top of your head and you felt a little less on edge, though the bubbling anxiety within you was still there, waiting to pounce.

As the two of you wandered through the crowds of people in the bar, you soon caught sight of some beige-coloured uniforms, and you put two and two together. "Is that them?" You asked quickly, glancing up at Rooster who still had you glued to his side. He looked down at you with a beaming grin and nodded, before his attention was cast away from you by a shout of his name.

"Rooster!" A female voice shouted from behind the wall of beige uniforms, it suddenly parting to reveal a gorgeous, tanned brunette woman. Rooster's arm was still around you as he walked you to the pilot who had called his name. "You must be Y/N." She beamed at you, her big brown eyes boring a hole into you.

"The one and only," You chuckled quietly, glancing up at Rooster for help. The naval aviator caught sight of your pleading look and immediately took control of the situation. A silent sigh of relief left your body.

"Y/N, this is Phoenix, Phoenix this is Y/N." He chimed in with a smile as his hand left your back. Phoenix, that must be her call-sign, you thought.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." Phoenix's grin never left her cheeks as she glanced between you and Rooster, a cheeky glint in her eye. "Rooster never shuts up about you, by the way." She winked. The aforementioned pilot groaned at her words and you couldn't help but laugh, the feeling of anxiety returning to your body.

"Well I hope that everything Rooster's said is good." You joked, another amused laugh slipping from your lips. Before Phoenix could reply, a pair of tall men dressed in the same uniform stepped beside her with curious smirks. One was a strikingly handsome blonde, and the other was a similar height with black hair and a darker complexion with a bright, wide smile. 

"We were wonderin' when Rooster was gonna bring the missus to meet us," The blonde chirped, smirk still sitting pretty on his face as he shared a glance with the pilot to his left. "Y/N, right?" He looked to you, holding out a hand for you to shake. You instantly felt like you'd been choked as Rooster's attention had been curbed by Phoenix after she asked him a question that required more than one brain cell to answer.

"Um, yeah," You replied, politely accepting the man's handshake and pulling away quickly as soon as he released your hand. The anxiety was becoming too much to handle and you started to pick at your fingers as you stared at the two pilots. "It's nice to meet you." You said with a weak smile, totally oblivious to the damage that you were causing to your hands.

"I'm Coyote, and this is Hangman," Coyote said with a kind smile, throwing a loose arm around Hangman's neck as you smiled back at them politely, praying that Rooster was going to finish up with Phoenix soon. "Rooster's told us a lot about you." He grinned, folding his arms against his chest.

"All good things?" You chuckled quietly, nibbling down on your bottom lip in an attempt to silence the anxious thoughts that were invading your mind. It felt like a storm had suddenly swarmed your head, and it was wearing your down quickly. You needed Rooster sooner than later. Speak of the devil, a pair of large, warm hands suddenly slipped around your waist and in response you whipped your head to look up at the owner, your heart skipping a beat once you realised who it was.

"It's always good things, honey," Rooster grinned and pressed a kiss to your temple and you instantly melted into his touch, your eyes closing momentarily as you savoured the way he felt against you. "You okay?" Rooster's silky voice brought you out of your thoughts and back into reality, and you smiled, leaning into his warm body.

"I'm perfect now." You replied quietly, looking up to catch a glimpse of his big, brown eyes that you'd grown to love and adore so dearly. You were so thankful for Rooster, and yet again you found yourself lost in your thoughts about him, wondering how the hell you were so lucky to have someone like him in your life.

my masterlist

how to request something

tag list:

@hlstead

@alltoocecilia

@shakespear-picaso-lovechild

@risingtripletaurus

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@elenavampire21

[crystalflygeo]

Long overdue final ebg post (lmao) bc I need to get this out of my system...

Tag for all the posts/storyline

Art by the amazing lovely precious cutie Aine @/ainescribe

First of all I want to thank @i23kazu immensely for allowing me to participate pls I was SO unsure at first haha and she absolutely killed it with the interactions, the lil side project, the prompts, the scores tally... it's just so much work, kudos to you Ying fr!! It was a super fun game.

Shoutout to my besties/mutuals

@silentmoths @ainescribe thank you for your lil asks I love seeing your characters aaaaaaaa 💕

@floraldresvi @moraxsthrone and all the anons I got, your sabotages here and in discord were brutal omg Vi you almost made my cry //pos bc I wanted to react/respond to Li's messages 🥺 EVERY SINGLE TIME ghgnhgnghgn and NOT KEL MAKING MY GIRL HAVE A WET DREAM/SPICY MEMORY TYVM 💕 the way I had to contain myself hELP I loved it svcgavscgvsjgacbkackl

@meimeimeirin you also sabotaged me a lot, meanie //pos I loved SO MUCH your asks/little stories aaaaaa thank you for engaging so much when I know you're super busy 🥺 it def made my day everytime, ty for bringing the girl home and solving my silly lil mystery hehe 💕

@kurikurikurisu GIIIIIRL it's so funny to me that we kinda started interacting more on the last ebg for Rin and then I was like "she's a cool person I wanna fren.... 👉🏻👈🏻 but I shy...." took my sweet time to invite you to the server and turns out THIS ebg got us closer (I think? ehe?//hit) we didn't interact much in tumblr with each other's plots but bOY were we emotional support in discord, we really were in this suffering together 🤝🏻 mhm //nods nods 🤣 thank you so much for being interested in my lil silly plot and my girl aaaaaa

As for the "plot" and other things... (this got so long I am so sorryy;;;)

Well at first I wanted to do kinda a normal ebg, no plot or anything bc I don't think I have the smarts to do an elaborate game/story lmao and I kinda wanted to have more established s/i lore?? And then I realized hey I can use the ebg to introduce my s/i!!!

See I'd been working SO hard on her names lately, researching and studying in-game adepti lore and stuff and I though why don't I make it a simple game where the goal is to guess her name (with me giving hints ofc) and at the very start I had the idea of her losing her memories so she could re-discover/remember things about herself alongside the "players" learning them. Whoever character I got as my bias would help her and get to know her too along the way, even npcs (or in the rare case of me getting Dottore/Pantalone, probs be the villain for her memory loss lmao)

And then I got Kazuha. And it was so SO perfect. I took inspiration from Spirited Away with the plot point of having your name/memories/identity stolen and for some reason I remembered the whole Ino-shika-cho koi-koi card combo from Summer Wars I just had this vivid mental image of a scene where Kazuha dropped the biggest hint by writing the Kanji for Butterfly (Chō) which doubles ofc as the Hanzi for Butterfly/Crystalfly (Dié) written the same pronounced (and romanized) differently :3c

I was very proud of myself//hit also

I did not end up making haiku bc they are complicated but I at least tried to loosely keep/emulate the 3 phrases, phonetic rhyme and sensory elements while referencing my lil plot lmao

✧˖Originally I was gonna blame it on a playful tanuki or smth but I don't think they're powerful enough youkai lmao it was probably a kitsune.... we may never know ✧˖She was technically never in any danger yeah but imagine being lost with no memories and no way to know if you could get them back even because every person she met kept telling her they didn't know ofc she'd break down, or at least me, I'm very crybaby and neurotic sometimes//HIT ✧˖Yes this entire thing was technically Zhongli's fault since he did write her a letter addressed 亲爱的晶蝶 ("My dear Crystalfly/Jingdie") and that IS her name woops on a random note I kinda imagine he also signs with something like 你的龙 "Your Dragon" and vice versa with Crys ("My dear Dragon/your Crystalfly") sgcvgajsvcjhacbajkca //squeals kicks feets

And all this started because I was stressing over the fact that "Crys" is not an appropriate name for a Liyue character lmao, I debated for so long giving her a chinese name, but I didn't want to further make her an OC I wanted her to represent me/my blog (also part of me was and still is immensely worried I somehow insult cn ppl by being as some sort of weeabo equivalent or that I am "appropriating culture" or idk I may be dumb but I try to do my research and I prommy it does not come from a place of malice or anything I genuinely love genshin and Li and it's got me interested in a culture/country I funnily enough have somehow interacted with and have friends in but never really paid that much attention to ig...) and then I just had the epiphany What if I just reverse engineer and name her Crystalfly in cn? Lore would be that either her name got accidentally translated in documents a long long time ago and ppl started calling ehr Crystalfly/Crys and she rolled with it or she simply adopted the translation/nickname as her name for international settings, keeping her true name more private (hidden in plain sight tbh) p sure the only ones who know are the elder adepti (Ganyu/Xiao included) and Neuvillette (once he told her his real/first name) (ironically Crys may be harder to pronounce i other languages lmaoooo rip Fontaine)

Anyway this got way too long lmao sorrryyyyyyyy thank you everyone kith kith love y'all bye!! 💕

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hi, I am suuuuuper new to Eruri and AoT but I immediately started shipping Eruri since like Female Titan arc? I love their dynamic so much and I think that ship makes perfect sense and everything isayama says about them sound like he also ships them? lol but people keep telling me it's one-sided in canon because while Erwin respects and admires Levi's skills obviously, apparently "he doesn't show any commitment to Levi and sees him as humanity's best weapon and that's why he wouldn't respect Levi's wish and let him die if the roles were reserved" people keep telling me that!! :'( like I am new lemme ship in peace sadfgdsdf sorry lol anyway I wanted to ask you that, since I am so new to Eruri, what do you think, do you honestly think they can easily be canon or do you just think "I just ship them idc"? And did you see the AoT game before? It's always like "Erwin completely trusts Levi!!" and "Levi: I will kill those titans before Erwin arrives!!" how do people expect me to not to ship them sdfsadf :( Excuse my poor English and if this ask is annoying pls ignore :( thank you <3

Don’t worry Anon, your English is just fine and there’s no such thing as an annoying ask, as long as the question is asked in good faith.  The first thing I would say is don’t listen to people who are hellbent on “disproving” your ship, and that goes for any ship, regardless of whether it’s canon or not.  There will always be assholes out there who would rather spend their time shitting on ships they dislike rather than enjoying media that they do.  The best thing to do is to block, mute, and ignore.  Don’t waste your time trying to change their mind, and don’t let them discourage you.  

I’ve had so many asks over the years about whether Erwin and Levi’s relationship is one sided, in fact I answered a very similar one just a few of weeks ago which you can read here and you can find a summary and links to previous asks on this topic here.

In answer to your question, I do firmly believe that Erwin and Levi’s relationship is canon and and this answer sums up why.

The thing I adore most about Erwin and Levi’s relationship is that it’s not a romance. It’s a mature adult relationship between two war weary veterans who have spent their entire lives fighting. Who, against the odds, have grown to trust, respect and love one another. Erwin gives Levi a purpose, a cause to fight for, and Levi gives Erwin his strength and support. Of course some of the trappings of romance are there too in the supplementary materials; the private dinners, the quiet moments watching the rain fall, the contraband tea, the gifts of fancy clothes, but it’s not the romance that matters, it’s the Deep Bond of Mutual Trust. It’s the fact that Erwin depends on Levi and trusts him enough to reveal his deepest regrets and desires. At the same time, Levi cares so deeply for Erwin that he willingly shoulders his burden and damns humanity to let him rest in peace.

Quite aside from shipping, Erwin and Levi’s canon character arcs are entwined throughout the series and their relationship and Levi’s vow play a pivotal role in the plot. 

If you’re interested, I’ve written loads of other posts on this topic, which you can find in my eruri relationship tag.  Hope this answers your question Anon and helps to set your mind at rest.

[nevvaraven]

hi raven pls give me 4 and 17 for jegulus

Hi kit :))

Ok so a coffee shop AU + War AU……..🧍‍♀️

Let’s make it the first wizarding war and of course enemies to lovers jegulus on opposite sides of the war.

At the risk of being laughed out of the room let’s imagine that Voldemort is a bit of a diva and needs his daily matcha green tea latte (green for Slytherin Ofc) before plotting how to slay (literally) and so he sends his favourite little death eater intern to get it for him every morning (it’s Regulus btw) and here he runs into everyone’s best golden boy James F. Potter who……is being a very kind soul and bringing the coffees in for all the order meetings (don’t laugh at me idk how else to make this work) and they run into each other one morning and immediately both whip out their wands (😏) no I mean their actual magic wooden wands (that didn’t make it sound any less sexual I apologise) but basically they both just sorta freeze, clearly neither of them know what to do next, they don’t want to hurt each other, they know how much the other means to Sirius and they’re not willing to do anything to hurt him, so they both lower their wands, ask each other why they’re here and after establishing that they are both coffee bitch boys for their respective teams and that neither of them are willing to move to a different coffee shop because this is simply the best shop and moving would mean admitting defeat and they are both stubborn individuals, they make a mutual decision to make the coffee shop a neutralised zone.

SO they run into each other here every morning and at first they don’t speak, then eventually they become familiar with each others coffee order, then at some point it becomes a habit to keep looking at the door waiting for the other to walk in when one of them comes in earlier, then they start talking a little whilst waiting in line, but never about the war, their conversations get a bit longer and then eventually you could almost call them friends with the way they’ve become so comfortable with each other. Then one day when James doesn’t show up to get the coffees, Regulus starts to get a little worried, he brings his own coffees back to his home where other death eaters are bragging about the number of order members they killed and injured the night before, Regulus panics and immediately goes back to the coffee shop and asks the barista if James ever showed up, the barista says he didn’t, Regulus really starts to get scared then and does something incredibly reckless and apparates to James’ house (he remembers the address from when Sirius ran there) he runs up to the house and looks into the window and sees a familiar head of curly hair sitting inside with his parents. The weight that lifts off of Regulus’ chest becomes all the more crushing in the next second when he realises just how much he really cares for James [audience coos] and then because I’m lazy I’m leaving it there.

Ok coffee shop AU + War AU DONE 💃🏼

[trudemaethien]

FIC MASTERLIST

Fics are grouped by rating, then alphabetical (except series, which will be posted by series name with titles color coded for their individual ratings). These links will take you to the respective tumblr posts, which are in turn linked to the stories on AO3. You’ll need to be logged into AO3 in order to read, as I archive-lock everything I write.

🥳 I hit the link limit (100) so ToC pt. 1 is complete. (pls lmk if any links are broken bc I will fix them) Please enjoy and feel free to reblog any you like 😊

Table of Contents, Part 1

[G]

Give Those Back This Instant!

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Legacy of my Life

Special Forces

There Rose Such A Clatter

Werdlaara: Ad be Haar Au Be’catra • Gaan’ike • Haar Jai’galaar bal Haar Laar’senaar • Mhi An Jurir • Ner Verd’ika • ni copa

[T]

Bacara Knits (Soft Wars): Knitting is Soldiers’ Work • Every Burden, Layette Down • Shall I Spin You A Yarn • Worry Knot

Restoration and Reclamation

Four and Twenty Blackbirds Baked in a Pie

from your lips, a kiss

Seen, Known, Loved (Changed)

Song of Songs: Laar’riduur

Unit Cohesion

[M]

Adenn (Merciless) • How Painful the Dream I Do Not Wake From

Boots on the Ground

Butt Fucking

A Gentleman and An Officer

Ghost Legion

[E] (biggest section 😊😅😌)

Artists Unknown

Blossom

Closer

Electromagnetic

f(x)=√25e^2: You Don’t Have To (No I’m Gonna) • plus podfic by flowerparrish! • And Do I Dream Again • Move Everything Slightly to the Left, to the Right

Holder of Sheaves

I know your Name as I do my own

Intersection of Non-Standard Genders: As Above, So Below • Down We Go Together • Woke Up Alone In Our Bed • Hand in Lovable Hand

Ke’bajuri

Kiss of Danger (CoD MW, https://archiveofourown.org/works/43655341 🔒)

Kriff Squad: For Fucks Sake • Hay Babe, I Herd Ewe Might be Down to Flock • CG Report Form HKU-575/1010 • Zero Fox • Defenestration and Other Romantic Activities

Look Down to the Infinite Depths

(loving you is) not a chore

Merverse: Ocean Torrents • Hold Me, Thrill Me, Ke’murcyu Ni • Take My Haal Awayyy • Edeemi, Baby, One More Time • Bring Me To Oya • Shoulda Put a Brii’rud On It • Be’chaaj In Your Rock and Roll • Something in the Sho’cye

No Consent on Kamino: Danger to the Body • Ground Zero: First Time Hurts, Kid • Odd Ones Out • Bloody Inconvenient • Just a Little Prick • Ad-vent-ure • Looking Good plus podfic by flowerparrish! • Push to the Limit • Does Not Occur In Isolation

Purple Butterfly: I do? I do. • I Take Thee

A Proud Man May Kneel

Rocky Start

The Scourge Lays Low All In Its Wake

Served Cold plus🔒https://archiveofourown.org/works/48494416 podfic by stargateinmybasement

Torrent’s Vod’ika: Color Me Curious • Satisfaction Brought Her Back plus🔒https://archiveofourown.org/works/49569277 podfic by stargateinmybasement

shu’tup and fuck me hard,case

split ourself wide open

trust me to see you home safe

Repcomm (All Ratings)

All Fun and Games • Nine Tenths

An Ehn

Boom Boys (Ke’bajuri)

everything about you pisses me off

Faces Indistinguishable in the Dark

Family Formed

For Taking, Forgiving

I’m Not Lost, I’m Right Where I Need To Be

love in all the wrong places

Make It Hurt

Mentality

Now and Then (i wonder what u see in me)

Offer. Consideration. Acceptance. Mutuality.

Only Good Things in Storr For You

Percussive Recalibration

Send My Love

Watch My Battleskirt

[ambientsoundtrackfan]

10 lana songs to get to know me by (not favorites) tagged by @oneofthemantletwins

this is hard as I would say lana's music connects more with my shadow self

everything about this song....the existentialism, the romantic and the suicidal♥️

I hate summer so I always feel so depressed when the summer propaganda rolls in, I also love driving down the coast but in a loner way

they mistook my kindness for weakness, I know I fucked up but Jesus, can't a girl just do the best she can? catch a wave and take in the sweetness, think about it, the darkness the deepness, all the things that make me who I am?

death drive + I got a war in my mind + I'm tired of feelin' like I'm fuckin' crazy [I love the monologues idc about the haters. the girls that get it, get it]

I'm a dragon, you're a whore

it's true..........

if you're in my inner circle, i'd sit with you in hell

everyone can start again, not through love but through revenge, through the fire we're born again, peace by vengeance brings the end. yeah......

I'm a very oceanic women, and I do truly believe I can pull myself out most days

this song is so personal for me, I like to think of it as a dialogue of manic depression. the messiah-complex psychosis vs. depressive observer

if anyone else wants to (if you are a lana mutual pls!): @violetsandoval , @womanifested @medievalanchoress

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

If you already got this from someone and you just haven't answered yet pls ignore, but if no one else asked i want to add klinger+charles for the relationship bingo ask meme

ok I’m getting to this late as FUCK but PLEASE nobody ever hesitate to send me something for an ask game if I get one ask on a topic I will go YIPPEE and if I get 20 asks on the same topic I will go YIIIIIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anyhow you're indeed the only one around here who shows outside interest in our rarepair insanity, a boon I will remember as long as I live btw. Mx. Smoking Marlene Dietrich I owe you the WORLD

TRIPLE BINGO because they are EVERYTHING. to me.

It’s funny. This is the one duo where I almost do just want to post the bingo and leave it at that. Part of me wants to tell people about this ship SO bad, to give novel-length explanations and justifications and theses. But the other part of me is like you know what. You either Get It or you don’t.

Anyways there are 10000 things to say about Them but one is: I specifically did not fill in “gay af to have a sworn rival” even though it cost me another bingo because one of the most fascinating things about the interactions between these two is that they actually do not have a mutually adversarial relationship--even though that’s what writers usually do with two characters on diametrically opposite ends of the socioeconomic spectrum. 

I’ve been thinking about this a bit because I’ve seen people say things like, “It’s great what a funny duo they turned into when they started out hating each other, haha.” And I get why one would think like this but IMO it’s actually not the case! Charles acts more familiar with Max over time because he does that with everyone--

(Though he’s racist towards Max throughout, of course. Because Charles’ racism never goes away. You know that right. MASH fandom I am putting my hands on your shoulders and asking: You know that, right? I keep seeing people talk about Charles having a character arc and a redemption arc so I’m just. I’m just making sure.)

--but Max has actually been pretty nice to him right from the start, back when Charles’ relationship with basically every character was antagonistic. As soon as s6e13 he tells Charles how similar they are, how they should work together to try and get away from the war, how they’re “soulmates”. Even after Charles insults him, he straight up says, “I’m on your side, Major”, which I’m pretty sure remains one of the nicest things someone canonically says to Charles, ever. Just one scene, but emblematic of a greater whole, of quite a few future scenes where Max gamely engages with Charles even when it puts him in unpleasant situations.

And of course, the motivation the show usually gives, on those occasions when it thinks about Maxwell’s motivations at all, is a simple throwaway “Well Charles is paying him / giving him some other material benefit, so obviously Klinger will be his kicked dog! You all know how Middle Eastern people are! We are a groundbreakingly progressive show btw.”

But man. Fuck that shit. This is far afield of my original point but the thing is, Max’s interactions with Charles are often the most egregious exempla of every way the later seasons fucked over my girl here. It almost seems useless to try to analyze any of Max’s actions after a certain point from a Watsonian perspective, when the Doylist reading of the show being too racist and stupid to do anything coherent with him is the ultimate explanation, and sometimes the only explanation you can even come up with, because shit just makes NO fucking sense in-universe. 

But unfortunately I’m a stupid cringe ass fanfic writer/reader, and I love this character, and Max already gets so little screentime compared to the main protagonists, and I don’t want to just ignore him because of the decisions of writers who didn’t care about him.

(That’s the entire reason I started shipping this stupid thing in the first place, btw. I just wanted to read some fanfic where Max is the main character and idk if you’ve noticed but if it weren’t for AO3 user stateofintegrity and their ~problematic cringe ship~, the pickings would be pretty fucking slim.)

So I like to pretend there’s a better reason for Maxwell going from “Major Burns I hate you so fucking much I am going to kill us both with this fucking grenade” to the equivalent of a tumblr blog responding to pathetic anon hate with “are we about to have sex”. After all, if you’re going to write Maxwell yourself, get inside his head and all, then you also have to account for why he tolerates all the OTHER characters’ racism towards him in later seasons, too. 

And the messy problematic reasoning I come up with is that Max is at heart the kindest and also most emotionally intelligent character on the show, and even the liberalized version of the 1950s our story is set in is a systemically bigoted universe that is all he’s ever known and experienced, and he’s certain these are good people, really, when it matters. And being emotionally intelligent, and generally intelligent too for that fucking matter, and observant and insightful, he can tell there’s a big difference between Frank and Charles, and perhaps less of a difference, even, between Charles and Hawkeye. Maybe when you watch things from Hawkeye’s POV, the ideological and moral differences between him and Charles are huge, but maybe if you were in Max’s POV instead there wouldn’t be quite as much of a distinction between them. I don’t know! I don’t know. Just some ideas, I don’t know. 

Of course getting into fucking. internalized racism and such is pretty uncomfy and exhausting shit. And that’s not even touching all the gender stuff my girl has going on. You start to see why nobody wants to get into this character’s head much. But I do :3 And I do honestly think sometimes the most effective way to do that is to look at the Messiest Ship In All Of MASH (TM). As I’ve talked about before from the Charles angle, I love this ship precisely because of its Problems, because they’re problems that exist anyways for both characters, and having the two of them interact makes the problems impossible to ignore, so they maybe finally get to be dealt with. I mean, I just don’t think the optimal resolution to Charles and Max’s racism-laden interactions is that Charles goes back home to a big opulent house and Max struggles to save up to buy a used car in After M*A*S*H. That is not super satisfying. to me. 

This post got derailed to hell but I think what I was trying to say is that Max treats Charles SO much better than that bastard man deserves and I would at least like to see something come of it, for the love of--

[redandblackpoetry]

ur writing is top-tier so no worries there, and it's very writer of u to say u like to break characters and put them back together. fic writers are a different breed istg LMAO

eldritch monsters and their workings being left vague is actually v interesting to me bc what ppl don't know, they fear, so it's actually a good way to write horror stuff i feel like. however the good lil student in me who has taken kind of detailed biology lessons several years ago says that i am very much grateful for and on board with u giving them a nerf in the sense of needing nutrition bc FUCK IT i tried to explain and continue this sentence but after failing to get out what i wanted to say and deleting my words like 4 times, i've come to the conclusion that i'm too lazy to get into its details but. yeah it makes sense. anyway it's insane to read that cthulhu is ghost's nephew from a neutral point of view, i hope u know. i wanna learn more abt this where is my time machine i need to go to a point of time in which this fic is finished and all my questions are answered so that i can come back and bug u abt how much i loved reading it

also this fic made me google lovecraft a bit and. is it just me or does he look a bit like samuel roukin. am i crazy???? simon riley is canonically h. p. lovecraft confirmed????

for the remembering details stuff, idk abt other readers but i am abysmal at it. which is why i actually forgot u've mentioned roach before, i caught that detail at the time but i wait one day and my brain bluescreens so i was like will roach be here? that's why i reread ur entire fic from the start when there's an update so i don't miss anything. anyway 6-story-tall-but-somehow-still-smol!ghost is like actually one of my favorite things now bc considering what he is and how simon's body is like BUILT is hilarious to me. imagining him pulling the 'but i'm tiny' card on some situation and the rest of the 141 going 'the fuck did u say bitch???' is just amazing. also gaz going 'yes u are' and metaphorically squishing his cheeks would be insanely brilliant, so.

oh and simon and ghost are murder bfs btw. that's their duo name. u can thank me for it later. bUT HOLD THE FUCK UP TF DO U MEAN UR CONSIDERING WRITING THE ONE THING I TOLD U I WAS SCARED OF SEEING??? PLS NO (do it it'd be so funny) (by funny i mean i'd have a breakdown and start sobbing uncontrollably) (do it anyway, i wanna see the world burn)

monsterfucker simon is. i approve. i am physically grinning after reading that paragraph, i hope u know. he's like 'fucking monsters up since 2009' *sees ghost* 'my bad, let me correct myself: fucking monsters since 2009' anyway i am very pleased to have gotten u thinking abt naughty soap/ghost/simon bc. i am like !!!! at the idea of reading ur take on that dynamic v much!!!!!!!! pls soap would be so over his head i am. i'm Interested. (making that my motto these days thanks to u)

mermay roach!!!!!! he's!!!! baby!!!!! he deserves the spotlight!!!!!! yes pls!!!!!!!!! my inbox is open and also i am ready to spare my leftover one and a half neurons for this as it is a worthy cause, tyvm

but yeah venom is my hidden obsession. and now that u've mentioned it yeah that plot is v close to it and. i'm. i'll sob. i'll actually sob wait please venom au goes so hard with ur ghost????? i'll cry i can't believe this fic doesn't exist in this very second, i'll sit down and have a temper tantrum like a 5yo right this second bc all these ideas we've talked abt so far aren't existing in like a 100k+ fic form that i can read to sleep tonight bc that's a travesty, how dare the world inconvenience me like this?????

the length of these asks are making me feel like a poor, stranded wife in the 1900s sending letters to her soldier husband who is off to fight in a war btw. come back home mutual, i miss u <3

Fic writers truly are a different breed, its honestly fascinating how popular hurt/comfort fics are, tho I do understand it

I am constantly at war with myself over how much do I explain versus how much do I leave up to the mystery/horror of it. I'm glad you enjoyed my giving them nutrition! Would you believe I'm kinda terrible with biology and several of the squishy sciences? Because I absolutely am, history and literary analysis was always my stronger suits. And yeah its bonkers to say shit like Cthulhu is Ghost's nephew without any context, you're gonna love the next chapter because family tree shits gonna get crazy

If you invent a time machine can you let me know so I can also read my own fic and take notes?

And I did not realize they looked so similar before! Huh!

And you reread my fic when there's a new chapter??? Can you hear by brain bluescreen?

1,000% thats how it would go, Gaz would be like 'absolutely a tiny and adorable (giant) Ghost', Soap would be somewhere between turned on by the size different and baffled swearing about how hes a big motherfucker, Price would be like 'if Ghost is the small one how big are his kind usually?'

Hell yeah murder boyfriends! (And you're in luck because I sometimes like burning the world)

I'm glad you approve of monsterfucker simon lol, glad I made you smile! Soap would definitely be in over his head, but he would definitely enjoy every minute of it, I think he would like being ruined in the best way possible (and I will accept that motto of yours gladly)

Darling, sweet roach! My problem is I love developing characters and worlds but plot, I suck at making a plot. I might consult your askbox in the future for wisdom

I am also upset that these ideas arent 100k fics and given time I'll roll up my sleeves and say if no one else will I'll do it myself, god I love the idea of a venom au

I will gladly accept your letters while I'm off in the War (different time zone), love hearing from you as always. I await your next letter, beloved mutual as I fight in the trenches of poly 141 ideas

[joculatrixster]

I posted 7,601 times in 2022

That's 780 more posts than 2021!

581 posts created (8%)

7,020 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

inkstaindusk

ace-in-the-quiver

doodlebeeberry

asavt

I tagged 7,549 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#mod trix - 707 posts

#reblog for l8ter - 552 posts

#loz - 517 posts

#lol - 440 posts

#cookie run - 437 posts

#pokemon - 359 posts

#link - 285 posts

#yup - 217 posts

#zephyr - 178 posts

#cookie run kingdom - 166 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#as long as they respect skintones acting like a black person cant have big eyes or tiny noses is wwell gross! especially in a stylized styl

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The current discourse revolving around Affogato Cookie is literally just Aloe Cookie but genderbent.

YUP i said it in my reply to anon its not about HIM specifically its a FANDOM WIDE ISSUE the fact this keeps happening is the issue. as one of the only fandoms w/ MULTIPLE CANON nonbinary and gnc cookies we cant keep forcing gender roles on cookies then acting a fool when they dint align w/ our assumptions this kind of thing is what makes pll not want to explore their genders because then they'll feel like there something else to them like they have to be gay or nonbianry. like i get u guys want to express thise hcs but the problem is i NEVER see ppl say cookies like cheesecake or chocolate bonbon are nonbinary or trans women no its always sour belt or aloe. why does Affogato HAVE to be a trans man or nonbinary but not dark cacao...? think about why u guys chose the LITTERAL man in a dress for ur trans hcs but not the strong heroic kingdom leader. thats fucked up. and trans men can hc whayever the FUCK they want i dont care but cis ppl and other trans ppl are ALSO buying into it and being upset he wasn't a she/her or they/them. thats when i get the issue. because this shit never spreads in the fandom unless a cookie is gnc and yall wanted them to be the opposite gender or nonbinary. if u make trans hcs even subconsciously because u dont like the assigned gender of a character thats. fucked. up.

this is coming from a bitch w/ a mostly trans and nonbinary friend group who loves dresses, skirts, and leggings im very much fem irl but i do not use she/her online. anyone coming across this in the tags pls stop assuming if someone disagrees w/ u they r automatically an enemy to ur cause lmao just tell me if u disagree and we can have a talk about it

36 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#4

btw if u think kumiho is a slut/whore genuinely i hate u so much if u think its ok to insult her like that i want u hunted for sport

38 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#3

if ur harassing ppl over info that came in a brand new update ur a bad person i dont care if canonly or heavily implied the dragons r all related the devs JUST dropped this info and ships like Ananas x Pitaya have been around for years. let ppl hae time to see the new info and change their stances on stuff yall r too fucking rude and stupid to understand that sometimes ppl dont play updates or dont have all the info before u run ur mouths istg

46 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#2

FELLAS IS IT GAY TO-

60 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

dear cookie run mutuals! i just got a reply on my post about how Cream Unicorn canonly did kidnap children(not even mentioning modifying 2 adults body w/out their consent) that was condescending and also woobifed cream unicorn cookie. once again fandom ppl assume when i point out the flaws of my favs it means im being malicious and misunderstand canon as if im an idiot newbie who doesnt understand what motivation is so i obviously make posts w/ouit understand that no bc ur fav was sad/lonely they get to do whatever they want

u know what that means?

war. this means war.

im gonna start Cream Unicorn cookie is a bit fucked up propaganda now. join me in my cause of being petty bc someone didnt bother to read my tags on my post for the millionth time!

Cream Unicorn cookie is a faerie who IS fucked up that DOESNT mean they r evil but it does mean they lack general human morales and will do things like *checks notes* kidnap children and keep them bc they r lonely bc they do not understand other ppl may like *check notes* not want to be trapped in a fantasy world forever! wow! look at that a valid interpretation of a character based off canon facts that doesn't woobify my fav or ignore their actions. ik its crazy to see it!

if u wish to see more of this join me in the cause!

63 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[regaldragonempress]

I posted 335 times in 2022

18 posts created (5%)

317 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@professorsparklepants

@elytrians

@phoenixyfriend

@tanoraqui

@unpretty

I tagged 126 of my posts in 2022

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles - 3 posts

#food mention - 3 posts

#friend writing - 2 posts

#star wars - 2 posts

#east coast us - 2 posts

#to show dad - 2 posts

#can spell really well - 1 post

#can cook but i get bored - 1 post

#can drive - 1 post

#funny - 1 post

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#“merry merry christmas” in the most terrible key and i'm down on the floor like “pls i just want to pick this water shut up”

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

if you’re following me about the whale comment i swear i’m not usually that stupid i just had a no brain cell moment

5 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#4

🦀 time for crab 🦀

today i summoned one crab and then we fell in love 🦀💙 crab my beloved

6 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

blursed linguistics thing

So! I write a lot of BNHA fic, and while determining the brief description of an underclassman to 2-A, I had an Epiphany.

We’ve already seen in fandoms the rise of new epithets referring to hair color, like “greenette” (which considering it’s usually referring to Izuku should be “greenet” but anyway) or “bluenette” (Marinette MiraculousLadybug). I fully believe that in the event of secondary mutations that give people wacky hair colors, these terms would exit the fandom space and become common and acceptable terms. However, “bluenette” indicates a darker hair color, and distinction would have to be made in the event that someone is looking at/writing about two strangers with different shades of blue, so I came up with

blund/e

(then my sister suggested “skynette,” which is the humor option)

13 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

#2

If you’re here (that is, on Tumblr) from Twitter, welcome!

A couple things that might smooth your experience here:

1. If you miss the timestamps from Twitter, there’s an option to turn them on in Settings. If you don’t like how that looks, you can check the time a post was reblogged or posted by viewing it in the poster’s blog and clicking on the three dots in the upper-right corner.

2. Tumblr Savior is your friend! It’s a browser plugin that blocks words you don’t want to see (for instance, I had any reference to LOTR muted for a minute because I was tired of the salt about the amazon show).

3. Choose a profile picture and put something in your bio to look like a human, not a bot. Relatedly, liking things doesn’t boost them like it does on Twitter--reblog to show artists/writers/whoever love!

4. There’s a bunch of really old posts that are still circulating. If you see one that says “do you like the color of the sky,” prepare for some scrolling. These posts are met with exasperation and fondness in equal measure.

5. There are certain unofficial holidays started by said old posts that are observed, such as the Great Molasses Flood and November 5th, 2020. Homestuck Day shares a holiday with a picture of a rat next to a xylophone called “Neil banging out the tunes.” Though perhaps it’s inversed, because Neil is three years older.

6. It’s easier to curate your experience here, especially if you don’t go looking through the trending, because aside from Blaze posts and “based on your likes” everything on your dashboard comes from your mutuals. 

Welcome to the hellsite, and I hope you enjoy your stay!

20 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

PSA for people who have photosensitivity

The reblog chain feature is back when you click on the notes button on dashboard! 

HOWEVER.

Not only is it barely functional as of May 3rd 2022, it flashes very fast and very bright to very dark. 

I’m not too bothered by it, but people with photosensitivity might be, so I figured I’d spread the word.

128 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[puwumats]

you know what? im gonna say it. i miss the "essik" vs "essek" war of campaign 2. the thrill of pedantic in-fighting is a skill lost to time in this fandom

[notnctu]

push & pull | kim doyoung

❀ slytherin!doyoung x hufflepuff!femreader ❀ genre - SLOW BURN, smut, fluff, a bit of humor (idk not rlly) ❀ details -  hogwarts!au, fwb to lovers?, y/n is a player lol, jealous doyoung, mutual pining, doyoung is a lil mean ❀ word count - 9.7k ❀ warnings - explicit language, possessiveness (a concept of marking), dom!doyoung, angry sex?, slight dirty talk, penetration, fingering, praise kink ❀ synopsis - in which a prideful slytherin and an oblivious hufflepuff play a clueless emotion game of tug of war.

❝I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?❞  

❝People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you pursue me?❞ ❀ a/n - i changed the plot a little bit as i was writing lol but hopefully it still fits everything! i said this in the teaser, but i want to preface and say that the magic/marking is not canon to harry potter, and that the only thing im using are the sectional houses/subjects. besides that, everything is made up LMAO also pls b lenient with me, i read hogwarts!au but writing it is very out of my comfort zone and am very bad at creating anything magical 

READ NEXT PART

Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, mindlessly and imperfectly steals glances your way across the dining tables and under several hundred floating lit candles. He sits huddled with his few posh friends that wear the same green and silver tie situated so tightly underneath their necks. And you, just looking as dazzling as ever, with your yellow and black tie hanging loose and a few buttons undone from your dress shirt.

He hates how easily you catch his attention and his ability to spot your figure in a dense crowd. You barely even look his way in public now, often distracted by a broad Gryffindor that tries to make flirtatious advantages at you. And when he thinks it can’t get any worse, it does… as you’re flashing your bright beautiful smile back at him and the shift in your body language.

“You’re staring again.” Yuta flickers between his friend and the subject of his focus.

Doyoung clears his throat, smooths his tie and physically turns his body away from the horrendous scene. “It’s very hard not to stare when she’s flirting with other men in front of me.”

“Does she do it on purpose?” The silver haired boy raises a questionable eyebrow and Doyoung reacts before he can speak.

He perks up and narrows his eyes at Yuta. “Purpose? Like to make me jealous?” Doyoung scoffs, laughs almost at the ridiculous thought. “The answer is no. We’re not exclusive, we’re nothing.”

“If you two are nothing, then why are you acting like you two are something? Get a grip, it’s practically sickening watching you fume over a ditzy Hufflepuff.” As Yuta prepares to bite into his delicious soft bread roll, it flies out of his grip, down the long table and onto another person’s plate.

Both boys are quick to stand to their feet and face each other chest to chest. Neither one of them is intimidated by the other, but their other friends around them are rather shocked by the sudden discrepancy.

Doyoung forcibly brushes off an imaginary dust off his good friend’s shoulders and draws a perfectly strained fake smile, knowing that others may be watching and he is a Prefect after all. But most importantly, you could be watching. “Call her that again, and your dinner won’t be the only thing that’s thrown across the table.” His threat is loud enough solely for Yuta to hear.

Yuta, with glaring eyes, picks up his dinner tray and walks off with his chin held high and a brisk in his stride. Doyoung clears his throat in the midst of the brief silence and out of habit, fixes his tie back in place. He takes a seat back down and the chatter at the table resumes, but he’s beyond embarrassed and disappointed at his loss of temper that everything drowns out.

Almost everything. He feels a light tap on his shoulder and out of annoyance, he spins around hastily and sharply snarls, “what?” But his eyes land on your fearful wide eyes and the slight cower in your stance, knowing that you caught onto his bad mood. And he’s half in disbelief that you’re approaching him right in the center of the Great Hall, that you’re standing so beautiful a foot away from him.

Instant regret and guilt fills his chest, his sharp eyes soften at your pout and the concerned furrow in between your brows. Nonetheless, he doesn’t have any words to say… he can’t get himself to apologize for his behavior.

“Do you want to walk to Herbology with me?” The quiver in your voice made you seem so small, so desperate for him, that he can hear the reactions of his friends. They’re laughing, at him, at you, at the whole scene that’s unfolding. He feels mocked, being a laughing stock isn’t something he’s very fond of.

His lips form a tight line, and in a snarky tone, “you don’t know your own way, Puff? Mind you ask your own Prefect to guide you.” Fuck. He tried to find the nicest way possible to brush you off, but his friends laugh a bit louder and intensely. And you didn’t like that one bit.

Your lips part slightly in a frown, an eyebrow raised and a hand on your hip. You look as if you’re ready to attack him, to jinx him, to probably pinch at his skin. But he knows you, and you’d do none of the above. Instead, you say the one threat that causes his heart to sink into the pit of his stomach, “don’t talk to me in class.” You’re slipping away from him as you pick up your pace, exiting all the commotion in the Great Hall.

He tries to hide the disappointment that stems from his chest, and his heart beats with an inexplicable dull pain. All he can think about is the twist of your expression and he’s gathering his things rather quickly to follow after you, without even a bid goodbye to his clique.

Without any knowledge of what you two do behind closed doors and the complex history that you two share, one may view your relationship as practically nonexistent; you two are strangers, barely passing acquaintances. 

Doyoung does not approach you in the halls, in anywhere that necessarily has many witnesses. You smile at him, maybe even a wave depending on your mood, but no one questions it … as you wave at almost everyone who passes by you.

Classmates might see interaction during the one class you two share, if they pay attention close enough. However, you and Doyoung are much more to each other than passing acquaintances. Although he’s starting to see himself as another name on your list of individuals you sleep with, you are much more to him than you could ever know.

He’ll never forget the first time you two met. He was patrolling the halls for anyone lurking past curfew with his nose dug deep in his heavy book on magical creatures, when you walked right into him and caused the both of you to fall to the granite.

He was beyond ready to dock off points for whoever the rule breaker may be, but you took his breath away when you hovered above him and clasped your palm over his mouth before he can scold anyone. You looked a bit frazzled as your hair was all over the place and he noticed your minimal amount of clothing in the middle of a cold winter night.

He saw the signature Hufflepuff badge on your thin sweater and the sound of your voice completely threw him off his tracks.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper at the stunned Prefect underneath you, whose body feels warm against your own. But your eyes remain frantically on the lookout for anyone else passing, despite the lack of light in the cobblestone hallway. You most definitely do not belong in this wing of the castle and knocking down a Prefect caused more of a problem in your escape route.

Quickly standing up, you lend your hand out for him to take. His long fingers accept your hold as he pulls himself up and dusts the dirt off his robe. His green emblem glows in the dim light and you’re internally screaming at the mess you just made for yourself. But you recognize his features: the sharpness in his eyes, the small curves of the corners of his lips, his neatly parted black hair.

“You’re in some deep---”

“---Kim Doyoung.” The boy freezes at the sound of his name and he blinks at you, curious as to where you know of him. Being a Prefect has its small perks of popularity, but he didn’t expect for it to go this far. “Y/N, we had brooms together.”

As he repeats your name and examines your pretty features, a light bulb goes off in his head. “The clumsy Hufflepuff that fell off her broom in the highest altitude?”

“If that’s how you remember me by.” You smile proudly, and he scoffs at how someone could possibly hold pride in something so silly. “It’s nice to see you around, you’re a Prefect! Wow! That’s incredible.”

“And you’re still as clumsy as you were a year ago. Falling all over the place.”

“Unfortunately, some things don’t change! But you certainly have.” Doyoung looks at you with hooded eyes and a cautious gaze, but you’re so outlandishly bold despite swaying with your hands behind your back. “Please, don’t take that the wrong way. I meant it as a compliment! I used to have a tiny crush on you, baseless, but you helped me catch my broomstick and I’ll never be able to forget that.”

Doyoung, unknowingly, lights up at your shameless confession and takes another good look at you. You're much more mature now, and if he stared into your alluring gaze any longer, he’d be completely mesmerized without the need of a love potion. “So you liked me over a meaningless chivalrous act?”

“I liked you because you were charming and yes, perhaps I am someone who finds attractiveness in men who are chivalrous. There’s nothing wrong with that.” You bat your sweet eyelashes at him so endearingly, and he’s a blushing mess all over the place.

Doyoung has had anonymous love letters passed on from his friends, but they were all Slytherins who yearned greedily to be associated with his status. So knowing that a Hufflepuff, with an innocent youthful approach to love, festered some form of infatuation with him does flatter him quite well. “I’ll let you go.”

You’re about to exhale an exasperated sigh of relief until Doyoung continues, “under one condition.”

“Okay, I’ll do anything.” Your gleaming eyes sparkle like stars paired with the night sky.

He rolls his eyes at you, “don’t be so quick to jump at conditions without hearing them first.” Doyoung groans and you passively brush off his comment.

“If it’s harmless, I’ll do it.”

And in the dead of the night, where only you two stand in the middle of an empty cobblestone hallway, Doyoung requests, “I want to see you again.”

Although that night marked the beginning of your friendship, public interactions were still scarce and this was mainly on the fault of Doyoung. The times you met were late nights past curfew where he was stationed at and he grew to enjoy your wondrous personality. This boy grew up in a Slytherin bubble his whole life, no one outside of his house ever dared approached him … at least, not with the warmest smile as yours.

You were everything he was not, but he liked it so much. You were a half that completed his whole, and there were growing pains he couldn’t confide in anyone else. Surprisingly, you knew his imperfections more than he did himself and yet, you still wanted to be around him to encourage him. Not to mention, you had a sudden growth in other parts of your body and formed into your features very beautifully.

He wasn’t the only one who noticed, as there were more male counterparts who smiled at you, talked about you, fawned over you. And he felt something heighten inside of him along with his existing romantic feelings, and that he began seeing you in a new light.

With you experiencing new things, like hand holding and being showered by love letters on Valentine’s Day, it was wrong of him to fester such envy over the ones who publicly adorned you. He was so blinded by his hot headed rage that he completely missed the fact that you never accepted anyone who confessed, maybe the hand holding, but everyone else was a complete rejection.

All this time, you had been waiting for him and when you two shared your first kiss together, you had an assumption that Doyoung was going to finally confess that he felt the same way. But he never did. You two did, however, further your relationship into something more intimate and taking each other’s virginities opened a whole pathway of possibilities --- none being one where you two end up officially together.

He was the first to sleep with someone else, that was his first of many mistakes that he was going to make in his relationship with you. It also became the drop of the needle for you to start seeing other people as well, to explore what Doyoung couldn’t offer, to rid yourself of the feelings you had for a boy that didn’t seem like he wanted anything more.

Chivalry was dead and Doyoung believed that the innocent youthful Hufflepuff love had disappeared from within you.

As his present day runs after you, you’re abruptly stopped by a Ravenclaw for a small chat. Damn you Hufflepuffs for being friendly and social. So, he rushes past the two of you and into the classroom to await for your arrival. The quick shade of green flashes by your side and you’re fuming incredibly at how Doyoung continues to play you like a harp.

When you slide into your assigned seat next to him, he goes off like a canon. Doyoung starts spewing backhanded excuses and endless shameless rambles about his behavior. “I told you. Don’t talk to me during class or I will jinx you. Won’t be able to talk with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.”

“You’re not going to jinx me.” With a subtle flick of his wrist, your chair is pulled closer to his. “And if you were to do so, you wouldn’t do something so cynical.” Yelping at the abrupt usage of his magic, you’re irritably pressing your ink into your journal with a newfound annoyance.

“You’re right. I’d turn you into a duck, so at least, you’re still cute to look at.” The mindless scribbles on the paper make no sense in your head, as you’re primarily zoned in on the disrupted energy you have about your Slytherin companion. These ill feelings make you almost sick, wanting to shut out any bad replay of the moments before and forgetting about the attention you seek so much from Doyoung.

“For you to successfully cast a jinx on me, you must make eye contact first.” His finger lifts your chin and you’re eye to eye with his lustful dark stare. Doyoung licks his lips, a shine shimmers from his saliva, and he’s tempted to bring you into his chambers for an intimacy he’s been craving. “My, oh my. You’re looking very charmed today.” A grin curves up and taunts you, and you’re blinking away down at the table.

“Doyoung, we’re in class. Please, focus.” Your desperate whisper turns into a whine once his cold hand slyly smooths over your bare knee.

“Are you free later tonight?” Doyoung peers over at your side profile and your skin feels soft at his fingertips. He’s imagining your intoxicating scent mixing with his sheets, your light playful kisses along his neck, and gripping onto every naked part of you. For a whole minute, he’s forgotten that he’s in class with other no name individuals and a boring professor. He has tunnel vision whenever he’s with you.

“I have an arrangement.” The grip on your knee tightens at your quiet answer. An arrangement.

“The Gryffindor who had leafy greens in between his teeth?” Doyoung treads lightly, because you’re both well aware he’s made harsher insults than that. He retrieves his hand and picks up his pen as if he’s never touched you.

He sees your head shake out of the corner of his eye, you’re rolling your lips together sheepishly. There’s something odd about your stance and he’s growing a bit more curious…. A bit more spiteful at how closed off you are being. There’s something you’re hiding from him. “Then, who?”

“Is there something you’d like to discuss with the class, Mr. Kim? If not, I’d like for everyone to head over to the greenhouse.” As the class slightly snickers and the classroom empties, you and Doyoung are stopped by your professor.

Professor Sprout, wearing her worn out Dragon hide gloves and a thin lined smile, shoves a potted plant into Doyoung’s hands, “behave, you two. Your conversations are never very secret when spoken aloud.” She gives both of you a warning before proceeding out along with the rest of the class.

Doyoung scoffs at the absurd encounter and rolls his eyes. “Ah, you’re getting me in trouble with you now.”

“I’m sorry, Doyoung. It’s better that you don’t know.” You say this every time, when will you realize that keeping your hookups a secret only causes him more agony? He catches your wrist as you both exit the corridors, he barely ever has you alone now. And to say the least, he fucking misses you.

“Spare me some of your time after class.” He’s disgusted by himself, knowing that his eyes are begging for you to say yes. Him, a highly admired Slytherin, has settled for scraps and if anyone knew, they’d never let him live.

Your hand gently clasps over his and when you look up with your starry eyes, something inside him feels at peace. “Did you miss me?” He gulps at your question and blinks at you like a deer in headlights. If said by anyone else, he would not hesitate to snap his fingers into a malicious spell. But you ask the million dollar question so sweetly, there’s no taunt… there’s no mockery in your tone. It’s full of genuine curiosity.

So, he answers you with part of his heart that you know too well. “Unfortunately.” His body falls slightly in defeat, and suddenly the potted plant is alive in his hands. It’s wailing a dangerous and annoying loud cry, completely ruining the moment.

Doyoung quizzically ponders the monstrous green plant and its magical capabilities puzzle him, possibly reminding him to pay more attention to the actual curriculum than on your unbuttoned shirt.

Moreover, your giggle surprisingly calms him in this stressful situation and you lightly pat his hand that’s still gripping your wrist. “I’m all yours after class.” 

Taking the wretched plant, you hurry off toward the greenhouse to find someone to diffuse the crying creature. Doyoung laughs in disbelief at your comical animated figure running around with a pot over your head and shouting for any student to help you. So you’re not paying attention in class either?

Doyoung takes you to your favorite place, despite the rule that you’re not allowed access to it. The Prefect Bathroom remains spotlessly clean and fresh paired with an immediate scent of rosewater and wild honeysuckle. The white polished marble gleams prettily under the twinkling diamond chandeliers and you’re twirling enthusiastically in the center of the large undressing area.

He observes and smiles widely to himself at the sight of your happiness and cute giggles. It’s always a risk to have you use their bathroom, but he is always abusing his privilege to seek your enjoyment that he truly doesn’t care about anything else. Your morality has beaten him enough and he’s heard plenty about his wrongdoings, yet here you are… sweetly dancing in the one place that’s absolutely wrong. Perhaps, you two have rubbed off a little too much on one another.

“I can never get sick of this place.” As you plead to Doyoung to cast a bubble bath, you’re already stripping out of your skirt. He shields his eyes to give you some privacy and recites the charm to run hot dazzling water in the ginormous pool. A nice soothing bath is exactly what you two need after a stressful day playing in the dirt.

“This is your favorite place.” says Doyoung with a matter of fact edge to this tone.

“It’s my favorite place because I only get to come here with you.” You jump on his back and he hoists you up by your thighs. His heart skips a happy tune. “I refuse for you to tell me the password, even if you do wish for me to enjoy the simple pleasures of a bubble bath.”

“You and your right and wrongs.” With eager hands, you’re loosening his tie from around his neck. “You stripped so fast that you’re going to get a cold.”

“It’s going to get steamy really soon. Plus, I know you like me best without any clothes on.” Your hot breath tickles the shell of his ear and a blush scatters across Doyoung’s cheek. Button after button, his open shirt exposes his toned build. He sets you on the edge of the elevated step before the bath.

Doyoung smirks at your nakedness and your hot lustful expression. Leaning in until he’s practically breathing against your lips, he stares straight into your eyes. “My Puff knows me best.” And dives into you with all his soul. Fruitful drags of his lips along yours, his long tongue enters your mouth. His large hand carefully caresses your cheek to pull you further into the kiss, noses pressing into skin and with a desire to never part.

His heart swells lovingly, kissing you feels like the best thing in the world. There are no tricks, no spells, no recited charms, but you are more than magical. The same surge of energy runs through his veins, but unlike his impressive ability as a notable wizard, he can’t control it. You make him lose control. As meticulous and cautious as he is, you’re the first thing he doesn’t think through.

Your needy hands push off his dress shirt and he hurriedly unbuckles his belt. When you break the kiss, he automatically pouts and pulls you back in for one more lingering peck. “Are you going to scrub my back for me?” You smile, dragging him closer to the overflowing bathtub.

Large puffs of white bubbles spill from the rims and disappear with your every step. It reminds you of sea foam that washes upon the shore, with a floral fragrant that fills your lungs. “That’s quite an intimate gesture, but yes.”

After removing all his garments, he joins you in the large pool of glossy bubbles and the clouds of steam that rises from the water suffocates him warmly. He sits with his back against the wall and eyes unwavering on your alluring expression. 

The bubbles do a great job at covering your breasts, but his sneaky hands snake under the water to grip them. Doyoung grabs a full tit and thumbs over your erect nipple, all while he holds the most sensual gaze with you. Slowly, you naturally end up in his hold and your wet back relaxes against his chest.

The beating of his heart is too loud and surely, you can feel the way it jumps out of his chest. Doyoung attaches his lips on your skin and as you’re melting at his harsh suckling. However, you perk up and snap out of your dazed arousal at the realization of his purposeful licks. “You’re trying to mark me?”

His hand continues to rub and twist your aching nipples. The sensation stimulating the growth of pleasure to sprout below and your mind to wander. 

“Possibly.”

A lovers’ mark is the ultimate testament of mutual love. Engraving the skin with your beloved’s Patronus, wherever the giver chooses to mark. Love emblems are meant to be something sacred to the couple, a way to make someone completely untouchable to everyone else. Not only does the symbol glow with an iridescent shine whenever love is felt, it also numbs any romantic feelings for all others besides the partner.

Besides the use of possessiveness, it’s a beautiful way to discover one true love since the engraving of their Patronus shows up on the skin under the conditions that both individuals must be madly in love with one another. And if it doesn’t end up forming, the receiver is left with a bright, sparkling star hue in its place before fading away completely. If it does appear, it fades when both fall out of love.

“Doyoung--” His name falls from your lips as a moan and he’s running down to explore the beauty between your legs. “--can’t do that unless you actually want to commit to me.”

“I am committed to you.” The more your neck cranes off to the side and exposed to him, the more he wishes to etch the symbol of his love for everyone to see. A hand is hooked under your thigh to keep your legs spread open and you’re gasping at the slight pressure from the water.

“Romantically committed to me.” You remind him, but your train of thought is cut fairly short as Doyoung begins rubbing circles on your needy clit.

“You’re afraid of it showing up?” He’s lathering your breasts with bubbles and dragging his long finger along your slit. His greediness overtakes him and with wandering hands, he’s gripping every part of you that they can reach. Doyoung’s guilty pleasure is always going to any form of physical affection from you specifically. When he finally gets ahold of you, it’s hard for him to let go.

Your warm skin is delicate and smooth beneath the very tips of his fingers and every exploration of your terrain makes him feel inexplicable explosions of fondness. Perhaps, you’ve captivated him and although he believed it would take something as extreme as the Amortentia to have him falling for someone, you did it as easily as being yourself. His better half.

So, he’s impressed by your genuineness and how he’s willing to give up parts of his reputation to unapologetically be himself around you. No one else matters, nothing else matters, but why must it be so difficult to tell you that?

“I’m afraid of it not showing up.” You’re more than convinced that Doyoung has confused his strong sense of lust with love and there would be no possible way his Patronus would appear. It’s better to save the embarrassment for the both of you.

Spinning in his arms, the water twirls to the curves of your body and he’s admiring parts that expose above the surface. He’s matched with your beauty before him, resemblance to the stained glass window that situates above the large bathroom.

However, the doubt in your statement finally reaches his ears and he’s grabbing your ass as you settle over his thighs again. His furrowed eyebrows bring together a rather upset expression --- lip pout and all.

“Why wouldn’t it show up?” Doyoung puzzles, bringing your arms to wrap around his neck. Leaning into him, your pruney fingers trace his smooth chin and he notices your quick flicker between his eyes and his lips.

While your gentle kiss reassures him of your subtle endearment, your next words do the opposite. “You tell me.” All you do is push him away with your vague doubtfulness, like you’re constantly testing him and using his poor guessing skills to your own advantage. He can pull you close after any altercation he wants, but you push him away in any emotionally romantic sense.

“You’re rather mischievous and mysterious today,” Doyoung squeezes your ass and smacks it lightly, causing ripples in the water. “I liked it better when you told me everything you felt.”

Suddenly, his fingers poke at your entrance and his other hand drops in between your legs again. Your mouth opens in shock when his long fingers enter slowly and he enjoys the pleasurable contour of your reactions. “Like this, for example.” The pad of his fingers working rapid flicks against your sensitive bud. “How does this feel?” His whisper dances across your shoulder, landing a kiss at the end of his question.

Your moans echo in the lavish bathroom, bouncing off the marble walls and encouraging Doyoung to keep a steady pace. There’s no worry about how loud you may be, Doyoung charms every room before every lustful encounter. This allows you to let go, let free, let him know how he makes you feel.

He curves his fingers into you, pumping and dragging into your tightness until you’re practically screaming. He only has one thought, as his eyes trail down your intoxicated needy figure, how beautiful you are as a moaning mess under his control. Your head is thrown back, eyes are squeezed shut and opening them to see nothing but tiny yellow starlight.

Dainty kisses line your exposed neck line and his ego swells with so much pride. Doyoung has mastered every flick of his wrist to have you under his trance, spewing nonsensical words and forgetting anyone else that exists. He gives your erect nipples harsh licks and with a faint drag of teeth, the sensation pushes you to your end.

Sporadic pleasurable convulsions cause your legs to close around Doyoung’s hands, but the strength of his knee keeps them apart. “Doyoung… I’m going to free fall.”

Leave it up to you to beautifully announce your climax. He snickers, applying more pressure on your clit and a rubbing motion against your walls. “I’ll catch you.”

Moon crescents embed into his skin as you’re holding onto him with your whole life. As your scream hits every octave, the massive collection of bubbles that cover the surface of the bath fly and splatter every corner of the pristine room. 

White and wet bubbles drip down from the walls, falling from the diamond chandeliers, and coating every steamy mirror. Doyoung’s eyes light up from the chaos, making sure you’re riding out your high for as long as he can provide.

Your body trembles with euphoria, falling forward into Doyoung’s chest and squeezing around his lazily pumping fingers. For a brief second, your mind is wiped and nothing in the world feels better than being in this perfect moment with the one person who’s Patronus you hoped would etch your skin.

If one possesses feelings that are practically unbearable to contain, one should confess… right? For all your life, you’ve lived by this statement. Friends do not hear the end of it and most surely, one should follow their own advice… right?

So why do you yearn for Doyoung in your gaze as he stands across the Great Hall as if he doesn’t know of your existence? As if he wasn’t kissing you in the Prefect bathroom a few days prior?

It’s not an understatement to say that you catch the attention of almost every person in the room, but the one head that refuses to turn your way… the one who’s looks you wish to steal… is the one person who looks right through you.

Feelings have become a nuisance ever since the first time you confessed to him and it was worse than landing on cobblestone after falling off your broom. The reason why you’ve buried them deeper than any chamber is that you’re positive that the prized Slytherin would rather be with another, preferably one from his own house.

While you try to remain optimistic and playful for the time being, you’re simply replaceable to him. He can barely care to acknowledge you in public when Gryffindors boast about you in their arms like winning a trophy. You’ve kept good relations with every Ravenclaw you’ve slept with. You’ve kindly rejected every romantic gesture another Hufflepuff has offered.

But if there is one thing you’ve learned about him is that he’s lived in his Slytherin circle for as long as he lives. And it will stay that way. You’re his sweet Hufflepuff that he’ll push away at no cost, then pull you back in secrecy.

Now if one feels as if they’re wasting their time, one should leave… right? Wrong. Kim Doyoung has skewed with your morality… and your feelings remain loyal to him since the day he confessed to see you again.

“Lemon-drop, I’ve been looking all over for you.” An arm slings around your shoulders and the notable red and gold tie is the first thing you see. Jung Jaehyun, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, flashes his deep dimples at you. “Walk with me.”

He extends his palm out for you to take and your friends painfully elbow your sides to wake you from your hesitation. Taking his hand, you get up from the dining table and follow him out the Great Hall.

Doyoung sees the scene unfold before him and rolls his eyes at how Jaehyun’s dimples are all it takes to have you wandering off with him. Despite every wicked intent to follow you two, he heads out in the direction of the dormitories to fume in his room.

“It’s such a nice and sunny day today.” Jaehyun runs a hand through his luscious brown locks. You both exit into the front courtyard as other students are scattered on the lawns mingling with one another. When you peer up at the sky, the sun is barely seen past the layers of clouds.

“Jaehyun, is there something you needed to speak with me about?” His laughter roars, full of hefty song and amusement.

“Listen, lemon-drop. I like you and I have a feeling you feel the same way. I want to mark you if you’d let me.” Jaehyun smirks and just as he brings your hand up for a kiss, you gently let go. “Am I coming off too strong? We don’t have to do it today, I just wanted to see if it would show.”

“Jaehyun, you’re going to find an extravagant person one day. A person who is going to know all your favorite castle balconies to swing from and how you like to be kissed on the nose.” His ears grow a bright red and for once, his gaze drops to the ground. “I am, unfortunately, not that person for you so I must kindly reject your confession.”

As you turn on your toes, Jaehyun lightly holds your wrist to stop you. “But, you know all those things about me. Is there anything I can do to prove that we belong together?”

“I know them because I care enough to remember things you tell me, not because I loved you enough to observe these things about you. I give you my word that there is nothing you can do to prove me otherwise.” The corners of his lips dip downward and you’re running to the one person that will erase this sad rejection from your memory.

When you’re scanning the Great Hall for any sign of him, he’s not there and it leads you to his only hiding place. Doyoung loves to shut himself out from the rest of the school whenever he gets the chance. However, a lost Hufflepuff wandering outside the entrance of the Slytherin dormitories is rather an odd sight to see and you haven’t had the chance to form many connections from this house.

The sparse amount of Slytherins you know aren’t going to be passing by, unless with some stroke of luck, someone will be kind enough to open the door for you. Every person passes by you with questionable stares until a silver haired boy blinks at you with wide eyes.

“Who is it that you’re trying to see?” He asks abrasively, but softens his tone when he realizes that you mean no harm.

You bid him a small grin, “your Prefect.”

“And what for?”

“There is an urgent matter that involves him and he’s practically unreachable when he’s hiding away in his private room.” The boy narrows his eyes at you, but beckons you to follow him down to the Slytherin dungeon.

Excitedly, you hurry behind him and whisper over his shoulder, “what’s your name?”

“Nakamoto Yuta. No need to tell me yours, I’ll doubt he’d want me to know.” He spits and then, mutters the enchanted password to reveal the large green common room. “Come this way.” He leads up the boys’ dorms and walks briskly. Although you never mentioned a name, Yuta seems to already know who you’re here to see and it makes you wonder how he must know.

“Open up.” Yuta stops and knocks at the wooden door, Kim Doyoung written in a fancy penmanship on the center. “You have a guest.” He looks your way before rolling his eyes at Doyoung’s irritated tone through the other side.

“Tell them to leave.”

“He wants you to leave.” Yuta repeats, mostly to satisfy Doyoung’s nag.

“That’s fine. Thank you for bring---” The door swings open abruptly and Yuta almost loses his balance. Doyoung frantically turns his head side to side to comprehend what he is seeing. His ears felt deceived, hearing your voice through the door, he had to make sure it wasn’t you.

But you stand before him and Yuta. Here you are approaching him whenever he least expects it. “What are you doing here?”

“I came by to see you. I’ve been here plenty of times.”

“What are you doing bringing her in?” scolds Doyoung and the other boy shrugs carelessly.

“What was I supposed to do? Let her bat puppy eyes at several other Slytherins and have her telling everyone who passes her that she came here to see our Prefect? It was also getting cold out.” Yuta mumbles, but finds great entertainment at seeing how frazzled Doyoung has gotten by your presence.

“It was a bit chilly.” You admit and Doyoung groans, pulling you into his room and shutting the door on Yuta. “Thank you, Yuta.” You whisper through the crack between the door frame.

“It’s too risky for you to be searching for me around other Slytherins.” Doyoung paces the room and you notice his tie is loose and shirt is unbuttoned around his neck. “Why are you here?”

“A Gryffindor blew me off. I thought I’d come and see you with all the free time I can get.” Taking a seat at the end of his neatly made bed, your legs swing adorably and Doyoung almost doesn’t hear you.

“Jaehyun? Does he think he’s too good for you or something? That cocky dimple Gryffindor, with the draw of my wand---” Doyoung whips out his intricately customized Dragon Heartstring, and you’re on your feet to calm his temper down.

“Will you put that thing away? I’m here for you.” Your giggle warms his tight chest and puts out the fueling flame for anyone who dares to hurt you in any way. “It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time it has happened.”

Doyoung uncomfortably clears his throat and withdraws his wand. Buttoning up his shirt, he fixes his tie back in place. To say the least, your words erupted his festering jealousy and this may have been a small tipping point.

Before you had entered, he was so frustrated with himself and you. You can just walk away with another man without a second thought, in front of him too. He remembered the soft feeling of your body and how he’s not the only one who’s needy hands ran their course over you. That may be the one pain he can never get rid of.

“I never understood why you give other men the time of your day when they just brush you off undeservingly.” He stings and you’re slightly surprised at his sudden attack. When you respond in silence, he continues.“I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?”

Crossing your arms, your weight is barred on your left leg and there is a shift in your overall mood. With an eyebrow raised, you sass him back, “People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you chase after me?”

Doyoung swallows hard and blinks at you speechless. A clammy hand runs through his black strands as he tries to find any possible explanation without confessing his feelings. If he had a plan to confess, it would never be in the middle of an inquisition with you.

“I guess you didn’t think before acting on your desires.” And how he hated how correct that statement is. He doesn’t ever think whenever he’s around you. All his actions are conducted with his emotions and the feelings that overtake him.

Doyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at your rash comment. “Aren’t you supposed to have the strongest morality among all the houses?”

“Sleeping with multiple men isn’t morally wrong. There’s nothing wrong with it…” The slight hurt from his question is difficult to ignore, but you must remember one thing if you want to protect your heart on your sleeve. This is nothing serious to be bickering over. You two aren’t anything serious, so why feel the need to squabble over nonsense? “... it would only be wrong if someone liked me and wished to commit to me.”

Your eyes meet and Doyoung blinks at you with wide eyes. His Adam’s Apple bobs as he gulps again, completely whiplashed at how the conversation has turned. “And if that’s the case and you like me, would that make you jealous, Doyoung? That’s why you’re trying to poorly attack my character?” He’s never heard such a strong taunt in your tone and he’s baffled by it, slightly aroused, but shocked.

“I don’t like you.” His voice is small and he pouts his lips at you. Doyoung crosses his arms and perhaps, his sad expression reveals a little more than it should have. Your heart softens at his ridiculously cute response, had you expected something much more angry and vindictive.

“Then this conversation is over, right? I’ll be on my way now. I have herbology.”

“We have the same class.” He grumbles, grabbing his robe from his desk chair.

You open the door to make your exit, “but since you don’t want to be seen with a Hufflepuff, I’ll go ahead first.” When you stumble out into the hallway, a recognizable face brightens at your appearance.

“Haechan! Hello, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You’re cheering and Doyoung chews the inside of his cheek. His pride is left at the door and along with all the things that hold him back from you, he doesn’t want to push you away anymore.

“My favorite Hufflepuff, are you just leaving?” Haechan walks up to open his arms, wishing to embrace you in the longest hug. However, Doyoung quickly takes you by your hand and rushes past him.

“She came to walk with me to class. Bye Haechan.” And Haechan is left standing in the middle of the hallway, confused and watching your backs as you’re both briskly walking out the common room.

Doyoung looks back at you, “you think I’m going to let you walk out of my room and have another Slytherin walk you to class? Don’t be so foolish.”

But you are foolish. Your heart beats foolishly and loudly for Kim Doyoung. And may you be foolish enough to wonder if his heart does the same for you.

And it does. Foolishly. Loudly. Lovingly.

You both wonder if this vicious cycle will ever meet its end. Doyoung pushes you away by ignoring your existing relationship, but pulls you back into his embrace as if it never happened. You push him away by running off with other men, but come back to him as if he’s the one person you’re loyal to.

But on this particular night, after mass circulation of rumors reaches the ears of the lovesick Slytherin, Doyoung is pulling you away from your huddled group of friends in the middle of the long corridor hallways. Without any greeting, any spoken words, he’s dragging you to his room right in front of everyone to see. His hand around yours like it was two days prior, but with an expression so grave on his sullen face.

The silence between you two brings no comfort, but you don’t dare say the first words. Doyoung, finally, approached you first in public and it is possibly for a greater reason. Perhaps you’ve done something horribly wrong, and the moment you two step into his room that you’ll hear a mouthful.

However when he closes the door to his room, your hand immediately drops from his embrace and he turns to face you. There is a darkness in his eyes, one that light cannot touch, and his lips are tight in a line.

There is an eerie silence that fills the dark room and the murky windows paint the area an ominous green. Doyoung focuses on your confused, yet adorable expression. “Why did you lie to me?”

The door catches your slight stumble and you’re blinking cluelessly at him. “About what?”

“Jaehyun.” He breathes the name in spite and aggressively loosens his tie. “He didn’t blow you off. You rejected him and he’s telling everyone it's because you’re in love with someone else.”

You scorn at such a ridiculous rumor and for the fact that it’s even made its way around to Doyoung. Another realization hits you. All it took for him to approach you in public is a meaningless rumor.

So in response, you laugh and it mocks him further. “This is not a laughing matter, y/n.”

“I’m sorry, but why are you so upset at that? Fine. I did lie to you, but I never told Jaehyun I was in love with anyone else.”

“Are you in love with someone else?” Doyoung says with balled fists at his side. There is a mixture of anger and sadness running through his veins and he’s so sick of feeling this way.

Your hesitation speaks for you, “It’s better that you don’t know.”

“You say this every time and it does nothing to ease my conscience.” Doyoung throws his hands in the air and stares at you with sharp eyes. “Is that why you were afraid that my emblem wouldn’t show up? Because your heart belongs to another. Yeah, I heard Jaehyun wanted to mark you too.”

Men and their constant want to prove something to themselves with their marks. Everyone has a twisted reality of markings now. There have been many others who have tried to mark you, feeling as if lust would be enough to suffice its appearance. As one's Patronus is special to their own protection, a beloved’s Patronus mark holds the same value.

You’re quite at a loss for words, “I was afraid that it wouldn’t show up, not because of myself, but because of you.”

Doyoung points at himself in disbelief. Him? He loves you more than anyone he’s ever encountered, even if you didn’t know it. “I wouldn’t have almost tried it if I wasn’t sure of myself.”

“You don’t love me, Doyoung. I don’t even know if I can even say you romantically like me.” Those words hurt the both of you and it lingers in the room for longer than you’d like.

“Do you think I fuck you meaninglessly like all those other losers you sleep with?” Doyoung steps forward, pulling you into his chest and admiring everything he’s fallen in love with. A pain spreads across his heart as he thinks of you with another person, of someone else kissing you, of someone else making you happy.

“You really don’t feel it in the way I kiss you?” He asks once more and your own stare drops to his shoulder, a bit ashamed to maintain eye contact with such pained eyes.

“And if I did? How would you explain that? That you are actually in love with me?” Your questions pelt him like rocks. As he pushes you on his bed, you pull him down with his tie.

Doyoung drinks you up like fresh water, a crisp and refreshing love that encourages him to reach heights. His hand cups your face and his feather touches reminds you of his gentleness. Your lips taste like sweet honey, dripping and coating him with a sticky sugar.

He’s happier with you and he’s the happiest kissing you. Perhaps, it’s hard for him to express with words, but he’d always hope his actions speak louder. So, his lips press against yours with a whirl of passion and every good feeling that grows in his chest.

The collar of his shirt is wrinkled in your fist and you’re holding him as if you’re afraid of him letting go. Doyoung runs a hand down your torso and lifts the end of your skirt up. A warm hand pushes your legs apart and a finger presses your clit through your cotton panties.

Your mouth opens into a moan and he takes this opportunity to shove his long tongue inside, lapping with your own. As a wet spot forms on your panties, he pulls them to the side and gathers the slick to gently rub your erect clit. His name is lost and muffled in the kiss, but you tap at his chest.

When he breaks away and halts all movement, he looks down over you with a fire burning in his dark orbs. And a confession falls from his swollen lips, “may I mark you?”

“And if it doesn’t show up?” Though, you’re wishing to the most powerful wizards that it does or else your heart would shatter into a million pieces beyond repair.

He bites his lip and every possible outcome scatters his thoughts. It’s too hard to concentrate, so he doesn’t at all. He focuses on your pretty lips and the way you look at him like he’s the only person that matters. “Then, we’ll deal with the consequences later.”

With your quick nod, Doyoung attaches his lips to your neck and harshly sucks at your skin. For the most part, it’s a pleasurable feeling and sends a shiver down your spine. So, he licks and nibbles until he can barely breathe. Your faint scent of patchouli and ginger intoxicates him, wraps him up in a fuzzy coziness that is unmatched.

Your hands unbutton his shirt and a final gentle bite seals his mark. If the love is reciprocated, the emblem would take a moment to form. Doyoung is rather hopeful and excited, as he’s never seen his Patronus before. “You look beautiful.”

“And you look dazed as if someone charmed you.” You giggle and kiss his red lips.

“You’re quite the powerful one, my Puff.” He smiles against your jaw before proceeding to your mess down below. He gives your aching clit a few licks, which cause your body to twist and turn at the sensitive sensation.

“Please, I haven’t felt you in so long.” Whining and tugging at his hair, Doyoung leaves a lasting kiss and gets up to remove his pants.

“Did you miss me?” Doyoung raises a suggestive eyebrow and cocks his head to the side in mockery, a smirk growing on his face.

You reply with a silly response that only he knows and causes him to chuckle, “unfortunately.” And he’s finding every way not to confess his endearments for you.

His dick stands tall and proud against his abdomen, giving it a few jerks as he watches you strip out of your own clothes. You turn around and sit on your knees, with a slight tilt forward and the arch in your back to accentuate your ass.

Doyoung rolls on the protection as quickly as he can. His hands lightly smack your cheeks and slowly enters your dripping hole. His hands grip your hips as he slides deeper into you, both being moaning messes at the delicious feeling.

“Have you always been this big?” You look back at him and to which he devilishly smiles at you.

“You know just the way to fuel my ego,” when his length is fully buried inside of your tight walls, he wraps an arm around your waist and a hand on your tit. “After all the times you’ve been fucked, your pussy is still as tight as ever.”

Doyoung slams hard into you, showing no mercy and causing you to jolt up. He takes every frustration, every feeling of anger, every ounce of jealousy into his thrusts. “But you take me so well, darling. I’ve never seen someone as pretty as you.”

His compliments cause your heart to soar, despite the soreness you’re beginning to feel in your pussy. He’s relentless, bottoming out until his tip is practically in your guts. “Just like that, baby. You’re the only one who fucks me this good.”

He blushes under the low light and leans forward to kiss the top of your head. “My Puff, you’re so sweet to me.” The loud squelch of your tight pussy gripping his dick fills the hot room, “and so wet.”

You’re shamelessly dripping on his green velvet blanket and Doyoung picks up his speed. Your knees give out as you fall face forward into the mattress, hands in fists from the incredible pleasure of every hit. Your ass now in his full view and every tingle of magic lights up in his veins.

Your throat is raw from screaming and moaning, Doyoung holds your hips steady to thrust into a new angle. Automatically, your body twitches as his tip hits your special spot and he’s well aware that you’re close to releasing.

And with his fast thrusts, he asks you an intimate question that is fueled by envy and rage. “If I fuck you the best, then why do you sleep with other men?”

There are no thoughts in your mind to even give him a white lie, to mask the truth of your actions. He’s fucking you into an oblivion that it’s hard to even focus on anything besides pleasure. The books on his shelf begin to tremble as you’re crying out, “I- I don’t know! Fuck, please… ! I’m tipping over.”

“Answer the question or I will stop.” He’s absolutely cynical and you have every reason to believe his threat. Doyoung lifts your limp body upright, against his torso and an arm secured around your middle as before. His hand snakes to your clit, rubbing feathering circles over the neglected bud.

Nonetheless, his single action paired with his tip grazing harshly against the particular spot causes your legs to tremble. “Do you want me to stop?” His threat rings in your ears when you still left him without an answer.

You’re so close, you’re starting to see white. So, you say what your heart tells you and the truth falls from your lips in a loud confession. “Because I wanted you to love me instead! I fucked them to forget about my love for you… fuck, I’m--”

“I’ve got you. Let go of yourself, baby.” Doyoung slows his hips when your walls squeeze around him sporadically. Every book flies out and hits the opposite wall, clattering the floor with heavy academia. However, he repeats your proclamation endlessly in his mind and his heart surges with the most intense romantic desires.

“I do love you, y/n.” He whispers, cumming into his rubber and simply holding you tightly. He lets go of every prideful arrogance in his body, tossing the lame reputation he always tried to hold onto. He didn’t need that if it meant losing you. Doyoung chuckles to himself for being an obvious cliché, announcing one’s love in the midst of a lustful act. He pulls out and gently tucks you into the covers.

Breathless, you’re finally realizing his confession. “You do? Are you sure?” Any subtle movements has your aching lower half in pain, so you settle with resting on his plush pillows and await for him to join you in bed.

All this time, from beginning to now, you’ve been oblivious to his yearning looks across the Great Hall. The intensity of his kisses had been lost upon you completely as you had convinced yourself that he was incompatibly of loving you back. Even now, as you lay in slight doubt, you’re wondering how you managed to have everything fly over your head. 

When he discards his used protection and with a quick flick of his wrist, every book finds its original place on the shelf again, he enters the warm covers. Your arms wrap around his neck and you’re admiring each other’s expressions in the low light. He spots the notable twinkle in your eyes and his thumb lightly rubs your cheek.

“If the symbol of my Patronus doesn’t show, I promise to love you harder until it does.” Doyoung leaves the softest, most loving kiss on your lips. He’s more than thankful for the lack of light as he’s bashfully red all over his cheeks.

“Usually, people just give up.” Your voice is harsh, possibly from the deafening screaming of pleasure prior.

Doyoung shakes his head. He’s made too many mistakes in this relationship with you. Sleeping with another. Ignoring your existence. Being too prideful to be seen with another house. All these incidents have made him feel nothing but ugliness and distraught, and pushed you away further than how much he is able to pull you back.

He loves you. He’s in love with you. He’s fallen for you recklessly as you did off your broom the first encounter. You’re everything he’s never been and never will be, yet you don’t care. You’re by his side, despite his spitefulness and you never miss a beat. That innocent youth approach to love, oh how he wishes it never faded, and though he thought it did, it didn’t. You remain true to your character when he fights with himself internally.

“That would be a mistake and I can’t afford to keep making them.” A glossy sheen over Doyoung’s regretful eyes, but you pull him closer and you refuse to let his eyes wander.

A tired harmless sigh escapes your lips and a dreamy haze overcomes you. Besides the reminder of needing to use the bathroom flashing in your mind, there is nothing else you want to dissect. Feelings are too complex to discuss at the moment and the resolve has already passed.

Regardless of the marks appearing, you’re content with the night and for the rest of your days. Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, loves you back and the power of that alone beats any spell in those dusty old textbooks.

“Why can’t we lay here forever?” Your heavy eyelids fall slowly and your voice grows small.

Doyoung kisses your shoulder, then your neck. “That’s impossible. I can’t give you forever.” He mumbles against your skin, sending vibrations across your throat.

“You are my forever.” Doyoung halts and is left speechless as a white glowing entity catches his eye. And the absolute perfect outline of his Patronus sits underneath your jaw, brightly shining with iridescent brilliance --- he makes out the outline: a White Swan, representing his love for you. Doyoung smiles to himself and hopes for it to never fade. Perhaps, he can give you forever.

some fun critical questions to think about hehe -

why do you think y/n lied to doyoung about jaehyun confessing? why do you think yuta helped y/n enter the Slytherin dormitories? what is the meaning behind the White Swan Patronus? Why do you think y/n continued to like doyoung after all this time?

there are no right or wrong answers, just something fun to have you thinking a little more about the fic haha if you want, you can send me an ask about it :) but overall, no pressure and thank you for reading! please leave me some feedback if you can! happy new year!

READ NEXT PART

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.