#my 15x01 opinion

[lavenderleahy]

"They really missed an opportunity with witch!sam. That could have been his thing."

[hethey-charliekelly]

i’m certainly not the first to say this but by god. the first two episodes of s16 blew me away. like … i really liked season 15 but there is a very clear winner between 15x01/15x02 and what we saw last night. almost undoubtedly.

again, not the first person to say this but i really do think the podcast has helped tremendously. even though they’ve all rewatched the show here and there, i seriously doubt that rcg had long, extended, really in depth conversations about the early seasons. not only that, but they get to do it together. they get a space to discuss with each other what they like and don’t like about their show. and i think it reflects in this season.

in my opinion, season 13 and 14 (save for a few episodes) really just lost the plot. this also applies to season 15, but to a lesser extent. i think everyone on the show got so caught up in the grandiosity of the later seasons that they kept trying to make their episodes bigger and broader and so much of it just fell flat. they lost the heart of the characters and their show in the bigness of it all, and i think with season 16 they’re returning to basics.

so… just thanks to the pod for existing, i guess. i think these critical discussions about the heart of the show by rcg, fostered by meg who has nothing but love and reverence for the show, have made season 16 seem to be an homage to everything we love about sunny. hoping and praying that the rest of the season holds up to it.

[missjackil]

My 15x01 Opinion

Back To The Future

Hey all! Time to do this again, but only 20 times 😭

This hiatus was technically longer than past ones but seem to go by faster somehow. Maybe because I know the end is in sight?  Well without further ado, let’s talk about our season opener!

I liked this one a lot! It was creepy, suspenseful, funny and emotional. No Destiel moments and a wonderful brolove scene!! What’s not to like?? Sam looks great and we go to see some skin! This was a great season opener because it didn't start out interesting and then fizzle down by the middle of the episode. It kept a very good pace of being interesting. 

Demon!Jack is great! Kudos to Alex for pulling off a different persona! He made me laugh several times and I guess we’ll be seeing him for a little while. This is fine, if someone has to not be themselves for a while. Jack is a better choice than Sam or Dean. 

John Waye Gayce’s ghosts was plenty creepy, I hate clowns myself, but Im glad that Sam’s recent encounters with clowns didnt show him obviously scared. Sam i badass, he can take out a clown!! But I do wish they gave him more to say to the clown than “Shuttup” in the same way, I wish when demon!Jack told Dean he was a torture artist, Dean would have said something besides “that was a long time ago”

So Sam gets hurt and Cas heals him. This is why I think Cas will be gone before the end of the season because they need to make the stakes higher and death a real threat, but let's move past that to Sam’s vision when Cas tried to heal his gunshot wound. Evil demon Sam i HOT AF but he saw himself snapping Dean’s neck with a tilt of his head.  This was upsetting! My personal opinion, however, is that Sam is seeing parts of an ending Chuck wants which is a sucky one, and the boys will have to prevent that from happening and write their own ending so to speak. 

So the boys have these legit FBI jackets now... when did they get these? I like ‘em! 

Now the best part of the whole episode, in my opinion, was what? Can you guess? Of course, it was the lovely broment!! Dean walked over to Cas, a caring look on his face and Im like “oh boy here we go... the Hellers are gonna have a field day” he says “You okay?” Cas answers “Yes but...” and Dean cuts him off “Good!” and makes a B-line to Sam 🥰 we get a delicious piping hot serving of hurt!sam nurse!dean and in such a fresh way! It was like they pulled it riht out of a fan fic! We had a gratuitous view of gorgeous Sam skin, shoulder, chest, tat.... and Dean’s hands all up in them. Looking for an exit wound (WOAH thats NOT an exit wound Dean!” LOL I had to) Dean cleaning the wound while Sam is fully capable of doing it himself, he isn't that hurt. The talk about when they were little and the looks on their faces when Dean stings him. And Dean continues to tend to the wound (GAH my heart) then we have a beautiful loving discussion about how its just the 2 of them.... as it should be.  Topped off with the call-back and flashback to S1 “We’ve got work to do” What a terrific end for the last first episode!

I really enjoyed this episode, it had a few minor flaws and I would have liked the boys together more but I love the scenes they did have together so Im not bitter. so on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Ill give this one a strong 8.5. definitely a rewatcher!!

[estrel]

So this was just pointed out to me but in ep 5 of season 15 Lilith says something along the lines of “I had to die for what I wanted most” which... she did. And she came back via Gods Power (which Jack now has) As well all know very well Cas died(ish? He was just kinda absorbed) for what he “... wants but can’t have” Im sorry this is hardly coherent a friend pointed this line out to me and I freaked and you wrote most of my favorite metas so I thought I’d ask a penny for your thoughts

first of all, i want to say thank you for sending this to me. this is the episode i’ve been wanting to write about for about a month or more, but never had a reason to, so i’m very happy that i can, now! 

Cas’ Arc Isn’t Finished Yet

important: i should clarify that there are two storylines going on in this episode: dean’s relationship with cas (a reaction to their break up) and sam’s chuck visions of parallel universes mirrored by the two werewolf brothers in the ep. just a lot of 15x18 and 15x19 vibes in general..

the “then” section of this episode references dean and cas’ breakup from two episodes before, 15x03. this is the basis of this analysis, because in my eyes the entire lilith plot revolves around cas’ relationship with dean (and sam) and how he feels inadequate in comparison, or as though he doesn’t belong. 

here’s a refresher on what was said in 15x03 (taken from the recap):

cas: something went wrong. something always goes wrong.

dean: yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

cas: i think it’s time for me to move on.

another important quote from the “then” section of 15x05 that they included from 15x01:

sam: god’s gone. it’s just us.

dean: and about three billion ghosts.

sounds to me like 15x09:

sam: you know, with chuck not writing our story anymore, we get to write our own. just you and me, going wherever the story takes us. just us.

dean: finally free.

so let’s now get into why cas is a mirror for ashley/lilith:

ashley is set up to have two close friends that mirror sam and dean. when they’re all on a camping trip together in the beginning of the ep, she tells them she feels out of place because they both have jobs and she doesn’t. reminds me of a scene in 15x03 when cas tells dean:

(note: at this point “ashley” is actually lilith pretending to be her, but neither dean nor the audience knows that yet. which, again, is why dean is set up to be us in the s15 narrative)

'ashley’ even talks to dean about her feelings of inadequacy directly--she asks him if he likes his job, to which he responds:

even the way he’s sitting and his facial expression remind me of:

...a little (a lot) distanced from the conversation. uncomfortable. on the verge of saying something more.

then ashley/lilith further proves herself as a cas mirror. she asks dean if he thinks it would be better if everything was already planned out for them. remember, we don’t know this is lilith talking, and ashley wouldn’t know that everything was, actually, planned out by chuck. putting ourselves in fake-ashley’s mindset, we can see that she’s under the impression that she’s making it up as she goes.

you know the only character that canonically does that? that is the only one free from chuck’s script?

cas. 

after that, lilith/ashley puts dean to sleep, and he wakes to find her gone, taken by the werewolf brothers, leaving sam and dean to have to rescue her from them. finally, she reveals herself as lilith, and this ensues (remember that at this point, she is a clear mirror for cas):

(side note: can we talk about her outfit, too? the white shirt, the tie...all very reminiscent of cas.) 

so here we can see....even more so a parallel to cas in 15x18, when he’s taken by the empty. the only difference is that chuck didn’t bring him back. but then she talks about chuck’s plan for her, which was:

...interesting. cas mirror was supposed to be rescued by dean and seduce him. okay. i’m listening, i’m looking

then she makes a deal with dean to save sam’s life, and the two are in the car together. this is when we finally get to what you referenced in this ask (so sorry i went off) when she talks about how she died to free lucifer from the cage:

familiar, familiar...

”the one thing i want...it’s something i know i can’t have.”

let’s think about the lilith/ashley/cas similarities again...

lilith is pissed that god brought her back, because she believes she died for a good cause. cas, in my opinion, is in the same boat--dying to save dean in 15x18. so this begs the question: what would make cas want to come back?

like i said here, i think if cas is to come back, then it needs to be because of choice and it needs to be because he’s wanted back (aka, not because god thinks he could be useful. i think this is exactly why they made jack make a point of having a “hands off” approach). cas can’t keep the feelings of inadequacy that his mirror, ashley, had in this episode--these are the exact feelings he’s been battling since pretty much his introduction. which means, in order for his character arc to come full circle, he needs to break free of thinking that he’s unwanted, he needs to think that he deserves to be saved. 

and we know this...

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also ��I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

[hercleverboy]

A ramble about JJ and Reid

so let’s start with making something clear; I actually liked jj and reid in a romantic light- in season one.

when I first watched the show I thought okay okay I can see where this is going, they’re hella cute.

especially with the whole “she’s the only person who calls me spence” and the redskins game.

but then the whole plotline was dropped and wasn’t picked back up again.

and then jj ends up engaged and pregnant with wills baby. and despite the fact some people dislike him, I actually really like will.

i think he was a good husband and an even better father. he was always there for jj (for example in 12x02 ‘sick day’) being the caring husband she needed.

the idea of jj and reid as anything other than best friends, so close they consider one another family, isn’t brought up again until season 14.

this includes the whole “the lady has a tell” scene during the game at the round table in 14x15, as well as jj telling prentiss about what really happened at the redskins game (finally!!)

i think whilst some lines over those 14 seasons could be interpreted as romantic, (reid telling jj she looked beautiful after giving birth to henry, him saying “they can’t just take you away” in 6x02, jj talking to rossi about how scared she was after reid got shot in 9x24) mostly it can be chalked up to best friends who depend on one another, who need one another, and who undoubtedly love one another, the way family loves each other.

and i understand why jj told reid. it was a life or death situation, and the unsub wasn’t going to let his guard down for anything less. her love confession was what got them out of that situation alive. and the confession itself I thought was sweet, and the way reid looked at her after she said it was really cute.

however.

what made me dislike the storyline was what followed after. the awkward chat at the bar at rossi’s wedding, and then that part in 15x01 where she stumbled and he caught her?

nothing over the last 14 seasons had ever made me think that there was anything but a platonic love between these two. reid never seemed jealous or envious over jj and will’s relationship. not at their wedding, not when their sons were born or when he found out she was pregnant. reid was only ever happy for jj, and jj was the same.

the storyline seemed so forced, and was ultimately too much too late. if they were going to introduce jj and reid as a romantic couple, they should’ve done so before she got married to will. the fact that she was married with two children, to whom reid is the godfather of, ruined any chance of me liking the jj and reid plot.

although I would like to point out that the scene in the hospital in 15x02 after jj was shot was very sweet, and ended the storyline pretty nicely, (with jj saying she did love reid, but ultimately would always chose her family)

so while it all seemed a bit of a mess, it wasn’t completely awful.

though the thing that really pissed me off about this whole storyline was one line that reid said in 15x02 when he was visiting his mother.

“so you think I’ll always be waiting for a life with jj?”

that’s not a direct quote but it was something alone those lines.

I’ve never really understood this line.

because they made it seem like reid has been pining after jj for years; which just isn’t the case.

sure, over the 6 months following jj’s confession where the two didn’t speak much, I’m sure there was some pining involved on Spencer’s part.

but he hadn’t been waiting for her for years.

i’ll back this up by bringing up maeve.

he wasn’t pining for jj, because he fell in love with maeve. and I know people have differentiating opinions on maeve, but as an audience we could see how much he loved her.

if maeve had lived, chances are they’d still be together.

another thing I’ll use to back this up; was there really any part of reid that thought jj would leave will or leave her kids to be with him?

i can understand that her confession perhaps gave him a sense of hope. but jj was never going to leave her family to persue something that might’ve been. and reid had to have known that.

that said, i liked how it was jj who gave reid the final push in 15x04 to find max, and persue their relationship. that seemed like a good way to put that storyline to rest.

in conclusion: i don’t hate jj and reid, and if you ship them you have my full respect. I just don’t think the plot was executed particularly well, and was too late in the show to have much significance to the characters. if they’d done this storyline around season 5, I think I would’ve loved it. by season 14, everything was too complex for her to suddenly spill that she’s loved him all this time.

so whilst I think jj and reid could’ve made a good couple, I’m glad they didn’t end up together. because as a viewer I valued their friendship and family bond, and enjoyed watching it grow throughout the seasons.

anyways, let me know what you think ;)

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

So it just hit me:

The show revolved somewhat around the father and son dynamic right? That’s why they had the whole Michael & Lucifer with Chuck scenes in 15x19 right?

You have John and his relationships with Dean and Sam. You have Chuck with his relationships to Michael, Alternate!Michael, Lucifer, and Cas.

But then you have Cas’ relationship with Jack, and how Cas is a better dad to him than Chuck was to him, so to speak. Then you have Sam’s relationship with Jack, and Sam was definitely a better dad to Jack than John was to him (including the two minute montage of Dean 2.0 in the finale). And then you have Dean’s relationship with Jack...

Yes, it did start out complicated (due to Dean blaming Jack for Cas’ death) but it got better. Then it got even better when Dean saw how much he meant to Jack and vice versa before Jack dies. Then it got bad again because of what happened with Mary. Then it got worse because of Dean and Sam tricking Jack into the Ma’lak box and then Dean going to kill Jack. But then it got slightly better because Dean didn’t want to kill him and chose not to, right before Chuck kills Jack. Then it got a little better from there when Jack returned. And it was difficult, complicated once again, but it seemed to still be getting better, to the point where Dean even makes Jack a birthday cake in the same episode he told Jack he was struggling but he was trying. Then a few episodes later, it got bad again. With Dean saying Jack isn’t family because he’s not Sam or Cas and Jack overhearing him. Not to mention that though Dean is grateful for Jack’s sacrifice, he never reassures Jack that he is indeed family (something he kept telling him pre-Mary’s death and continued to reinforce with lines in 15x01 like “he was our kid”) and is eager for the sacrifice to happen in order to gain their freedom. Instead, we see Dean back in dad mode automatically in 15x18, continuing into 15x19, and his big goodbye to Jack is “We’ll get recliners and a big flat screen TV...” Even though in the subtext and performances, we see that Jack is obviously family and is still family to Dean after everything, we never see Dean vocalize it explicitly again nor do we see another conversation take place between them in regards to what Dean said in 15x17.

My whole point is that they showed Cas and Sam moving on, becoming better dads than their own. They also took the time in 15x19 to show us that Michael and Lucifer hadn’t moved on, and were still vying for their father’s approval. And obviously, Lucifer wasn’t the best dad. But Dean...they were so back and forth on it and for them to not leave it completely in a good place for him and Jack (instead they just chose to gloss it over) when they gave John Winchester not only a good ending (in Heaven) but a supposed redemptive moment in 14x13, that just...is SO fucking heartbreaking. 

Dean didn’t get to have any kids of his own (outside of Emma). To me, the Claire and Dean dynamic felt very much like older brother and kid sister, which to me sort of makes sense especially when it comes to Claire being a mirror for Dean. But Jack was the closest thing he had to a son, the closest thing to a chance to be a father (outside of his parental role to Sam), and in the end, they still somehow managed to fuck that up for him. Even though he ends in a pleasant somewhat good place with Jack, they never cleared the air about what Dean said. The conversation in 15x17 doesn’t count, in my opinion. That conversation simply was an apology for Jack overhearing it, an explanation for Dean’s push for freedom, and a thank you for the sacrifice. But not once did they ever address what Dean actually said, why he said it, or if it was true or not. Jack had a better goodbye with Cas and Sam. Sam even asked what a father would ask in that moment: “What if we want to see you?” But Dean...nope his father/son story line got jacked and summed up in “we can get some recliners and a big flat screen TV...”

And don’t forget, this was Dean’s family, the unconventional family he had found for himself. (14x13 “I have a family”) Cas was dead and stuck in The Empty. We already know how OOC that was for Dean not to want to find a way to get Cas out of there, as well as OOC for Sam. Jack was done living his life and was now God, moving onto bigger and better things (almost like as if he was leaving for college, to the big Heaven university), and only Sam seems sad about it or affected by it. (I’m not even talking about that little line they threw into 15x20 at that ridiculous pie festival) They literally jacked Dean of not only his found family, his family, the resolution to his relationship with Cas (no matter which way it might have gone), his life and an ending that he not only deserved but also wanted, but they also jacked him of this.

Dean literally got shafted in all areas of his story in the end. And I cannot forgive them for that. 

I really hope in the next installment of Dean and Sam’s story, they rectify this or at least keep Dean shaft-free, literally and figuratively. 

[sortasirius]

dean for the character thing!

Ah.  The one.  My comfort character.  Strap in bucko.

Dean

How I feel about this character: Not to be a dramatic asshole but he is literally the love of my life.  In the beginning, he hides all his emotions behind this macho bravado, womanizing personality, all sarcasm and sass, but he’s always been the one with all the emotions.  He’s so fucking smart, he loves Vonnegut and Tolstoy, he’s naturally good at engineering and math, he can rewire literally anything and make it work again.  He’s a kick-ass mechanic, literally built Baby back from the ground up without even thinking about it.  He’s an amazing cook, he’s a natural giver, and is always willing to protect the people he cares about.  He loves fiercely, and has a hard time believing the people he loves would do him wrong.  He loves Taylor Swift, he loves rom coms, he loves cucumber water.  He has hotdog pajama pants and noodle socks that say “Send Noods”  He wanted to be a rock star.  He had to become a parent at five years old, and he always put Sam first, even when he was given another choice, a way to get out of the life, he chose Sam.  He’s a great hunter, he can figure out the through-line or the mo of the bad guy before almost anyone else.  He’s a drama queen™   He’s good with babies, kids, and teenagers.  He stands up for people that are being bullied.  He sings when he’s nervous.  He knows how to flirt his way past a man.  He’s a big nerd that would absolutely be into DND.  His comfort show is Scooby Doo and he watches it when he’s sad.  He calls himself the Meat Man.  He can sing even though he pretends he can’t.  He’s made some really fucked up mistakes.  He took the Mark of Cain, he’s killed innocent people that didn’t deserve it sometimes, he let an angel possess Sam and didn’t tell him about it, he kicked Cas out to protect that secret, he pushed Jack away and othered him because of his anger about Cas and Mary.  But at the same time, he’s overcome so much.  He’s literally gone to Hell and back, gotten through the Mark of Cain, escaped unscathed from Michael, gotten through the connection to Amara, from being a demon.  He’s gone through so much grief but it’s never stopped him from loving and accepting love from others.  I could go on for hours about him, about how much he means to me, how much I love him.  I know it sounds sappy as hell, but he will truly be with me for the rest of my life.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I will give you one guess lmao.  I mean, it’s Cas, it’s always been Cas.  I love their married energy, I love the way they will literally use their last breaths to sass each other.  I love the random things that just make me go ????????  (”Not every hookup’s perfect”, the mixtape, “And you’re gonna storm in righttttt now”, “what broke the connection?” “I’m not leaving here without you” THE PRAYER?????). I also love that Dean shows him movies and gets upset if he doesn’t remember them.  I love Endverse, and how Ben Edlund basically said “yeah they fuck in the Apocalypse lmao.”  The way they look at each other literally makes me nauseous sometimes.  That profound bond is something else, and I’ve had my clown paint on since 15x01 aired lmao.

NOT Cas related, I really don’t mind Lisa (my hatred of anyone that wasn’t Cas as a teenager was born of hmmmmmm my own self hatred), I think she was exactly what Dean needed, she was a way to get out of the life, but it still wasn’t something he could ever escape.  I’ve always loved the way she listens to him, the way she tries to understand a world that she really can’t wrap her head around.  I also love how good of a mom she is.  Also Cassie, listen I know we only got that girl for one episode but I’ve been in love w her ever since.  And of course, my boy Lee.  Y’all wanna talk chemistry?  I haven’t seen Dean have that kind of chemistry with anyone other than Cas.  Also I’m just extremely partial to everything in that ep bc ya know.....canon bi Dean for me so I’m just a little bit in love with them and their ultra tragic backstory.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Sam or Benny.  I already talked about him and Sam a little bit here, but I just love those two codependent bitches so much.  They will literally sacrifice anything for each other (Dean literally walked away from a normal life because of Sam) and I am soft for them.  BENNY.  My boy, that Southern bastard who I would gladly die for.  He and Dean have such fratbro energy, they are so funny together, so at ease with each other.  I LOVED S8 Purgatory, like LOVED it, and I still wish they had had the budget to like make Ty a permanent recurring character, because it was just so easy for he and Dean to be together.  They had a bond that I don’t think anyone else (Sam and Cas) understood, and I still wish I could watch a whole season of them in Purgatory, how their relationship went from grudging trust to “I would die for you in a heartbeat”

My unpopular opinion about this character: a LOT of this boy’s problems would be solved if he talked about his trauma.  He doesn’t really talk about anything he’s been through with anyone, not even Sam, and his drinking isn’t a funny coping mechanism, it’s dangerous and I wish he’d stop doing it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: also should’ve punched John in the face lmao.  Also there are just a lot of softer moments that I know happened offscreen that I wish we could have seen.  Like I don’t ~care~ if it’s boring I want to see Dean make Sam chicken soup when he’s sick and teach Jack about mechanics and watch movies in his bedroom with Cas!  What are Dean’s favorite romcoms????  What was on the MIXTAPE??????  These are all things I would pay millions of dollars to see.

Link to OG post

Ask me character opinions!!

[naruhearts]

Destiel in 15x03: “WHY DOES THAT SOMETHING ALWAYS SEEM TO BE YOU?”

CAS: You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me.

CAS: My powers are failing. I’ve tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don’t wanna hear it. You don’t care. I’m...dead to you. You still blame me for Mary?

[DEAN tilts head; says nothing]

CAS: Well I don’t think there’s anything left to say.

[CAS turns to walk away]

DEAN: Where’re you going?

CAS: Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.

Cred: @xSimply_Mishax

- - - - - - 

Me: 

OH MY GOSH!!

I hope to get a full 15x03 review going next week after my Pharmacology quiz Monday, so I’m copying and pasting my sloppy thread from Twitter again--

Y'all can look at that scene as platonic or shitty storytelling, and your feelings are entirely valid, but in my humble opinion, this friggin' scene, right here, peeps...QUALITY PERSONAL STORYTELLING. A PUNCH IN THE NARRATIVE GUT!! Close friends — deep platonic friends — don't experience such an extreme magnitude of intense pain, hurt, and confrontation re: tangled and complicated feelings. The intentional sombre ambience, with bright harsh lighting conveying the harsh nature of Dean and Cas’ current relationship? Cas walking away, subverted from 4x20 The Rapture, YES @castielslostwings​, in which Dean’s (and Cas’) ultimate failure to use their words broke them irreparably (temporarily)? Cas internalizing his duty-bound calling to Heaven and splitting up with Dean at the end of 4x20 while, at the same time, experiencing his fall from grace re: Dean Humanity Winchester’s influence; then, in paralleling contrast to 15x03, he leaves Dean behind again, this time completely devoid of any positive self-process and hope upon the false knowledge that Dean hates him and no longer wants anything to do with him? The framing between Dean and Cas, with a single table and lonely lamp, once upon a time fixtures of comfort and discussion, exposing the isolation they both feel (not to mention Dean’s holding his own cup of booze — the typical cue that he’s going to cope badly)?

*clutches chest*

Sam was, since last season, easily able to realize (purposely able, in part because unlike Dean, he has a platonic relationship with Cas which allows him to use his RATIONAL judgement, not clouded by strong emotions) that Cas had NOTHING TO DO with Mary's death. 

This explosive ROMANTIC breakup between Dean and Cas specifically -- Sam locked away in his room a la S12/13 era grieving!Dean -- was the culmination of YEARS of messy feelings and unsaid emotions; Dean, fearing that what he has with his family — with CAS, isn't real — finally drove Cas to the edge. It was the only common (TERRIBLE) way Dean knew how to protect himself from getting hurt again. Most of all, by driving Cas away, he thought he was protecting both of them. 

I mean, DEAN HAD UNSHED TEARS IN HIS EYES THE ENTIRE TIME. WHEN HE SAW CAS WALK AWAY — as he tightly gripped the table with his hand — HIS HEART BROKE, alongside the orchestral swell of DEAN’S THEME. THIS SCENE WAS MEANT TO HURT BADLY. IT WAS MEANT TO TEAR THE BOND BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS APART. THIS NARRATIVE IS CANON. BOBO EXECUTED IT BEAUTIFULLY, INTERSPERSING DEAN AND CAS' SCENES WITH SAM/ROWENA. They both lost their respective allies. Friends. LOVERS (potential in Sam and Rowena’s case) (jeez louise the visual intercut between both of their scenes!!! My heart’s still pounding.)

So, let's go over this again: if Dean and Cas’ relationship truly is platonic in nature and nothing else beyond that, how come it's not SAM telling Cas he's always the thing that goes WRONG? (Besides the obvious fact that he was preoccupied himself, absolutely shattered over Cas parallel-Rowena’s death, which was a WILLFUL CHOICE ROWENA MADE ON HER OWN?)

 How come it's not SAM who still wrongly blames Cas for Mary's death? 

(Dean could barely look Cas straight in the eye precisely because he knew that what he said was irrevocably false.)

That's right: we DON'T see Sam treating Cas horribly because SAM ISN'T IN LOVE WITH CAS.

DEAN IS. 

It’s the beauty of these structural romantic patterns the underlying cyclic metanarrative’s been spinning us all with!!

THE LOVE DEAN FEELS FOR CAS IS SO IRRATIONAL AND SO TURBULENT AND YET SO RIGHT. IT'S BEEN A ROMANCE TROPE FOR YEARS: BREAK THEM UP FOR A MUCH SWEETER MAKEUP *throws self off cliff 49854985 times*

For now, Dean and Sam lost their closest allies. For now, Dean lost Cas, the most important man in his life, his sunshine, his win, his confidante...his spouse (and I tell you, the negative spaces are SCREAMING here. The subtext is pushing against the wall of text hard in S15). This scene was, for all intents and purposes, a smack-dabb fest of breaking up to pursue the last stretches of individual growth before they reunite to form a stronger unit. Remember, you can’t properly give yourself to another nor love another if you can’t love yourself. At this point, after the phenomenal hurdles of growth they experienced throughout the last 3 seasons, Dean and Cas are close to achieving full self-actualization! Almost there! Final regression before progression!

I mean, we’ve all been saying this for years now, too! THEY MUST USE THEIR WORDS, OR ELSE MISCOMMUNICATION WILL BE THE DEATH OF THEM. Tonight, it finally unfolded. The necessary smiting of their son Jack’s body, then Rowena’s literal death (which I humbly think isn’t permanent at this time for reasons I hope to explain later), offset by Cas’ metaphorical death via his walking out on Dean as a semi-regressed, hopeless shell of himself who thinks he no longer holds any ties — or has any meaningful place — in Dean’s life, shattered Team Free Will (Cas’ quiet “I think it’s time for me to move on” was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever heard from him in the romantic context of the moment! Dean and Cas’ marital discord/tension was deliberately reaching an ugly peak since 15x01; their relationship encountered its worst Rupture yet. The ep literally encapsulated RUPTURE...the rupture of trust, love, faith, and hope. The writers are highlighting it incredibly well, and I’m sitting here holding my breath!!)

Chuck, the ultimate Big Bad and toxic father figure, was still exerting his oppressive presence despite his physical absence within their dialogue (and tonight’s main plot). His actions in 14x20 led them to this, prying open their deepest insecurities and allowing despair to take over again (Belphegor, significant exposition, expectedly triggered Cas’ fears by referring to his sense of expendability under Sam and Dean’s wing). It’s what Chuck wanted: to destroy the found Winchester family who dared to defy him --> Cas believes he’s unwanted by Dean and has no family. Dean believes he deserves Cas leaving him. 

WHAT A MESS!!

CONGRATULATIONS AND HUUGE APPLAUSE BOBO FOR CREATING THE BEST ANGSTY MISCOMMUNICATIVE TROPED-UP EMOTION-CENTERED EP SO FAR FOR THIS FINAL SEASON YET AGAIN!!

No joke. I shed some nasty tears, hand cupped over my mouth. The raw anguish of Jensen and Misha’s chemistry radiated off the screen!!

RATING: 10/10

Things must get worse before they get better, and Dabb & Co know it. (I’m cautiously optimistic, and I’m one of the annoying positive believers who do not think Cas is going to die at the end of this show. It simply would be the bottom-line crap cop-out for him and TFW as a collective. We shall see!!) 

[verobatto]

Falling Apart

Destiel meta. 15x01 Back and to the Future

Hello my dears! Well, here we are again with the first metas from this episode.

I want to start with the Destiel meta and after this one, we will talk in another meta about TFW, but mostly, about Sam.

Okay... Let's cry together about this Destiel break up on going here...

Cas is separated from Sam and Dean

When first started the episode, we saw how Sam and Dean were working together and Castiel was separated from them. Even we had Dean asking for help to Cas and he didn't move.

The writers are pointing us this the whole time during the episode. Another example was when the demon took possession of Jack's corpse, Sam and Dean were agreed with listen to him, but not Cas.

I want to point here an interesting scene: the two girls with princess crowns playing and dressing, with the presents one of the girls parents bought to her, and the other saying DIVORCE IS AWESOME. Which could it sound funny but not for us... Because we are about to witness a lovers separation, a divorce, as I predicted in season 14, with Dean and Cas.

The Demon acting awkwardly as a Destiel Matchmaker.

Did you payed attention to the spell? The two spells and the ingredients?

One was ANGEL BLOOD with cemetery dust and the other was HUMAN HEART and salt...

Okay... Blame me, but I found this physiologically romantic... What does a hearts needs to function? Blood... Well... Not just blood, but, you know what I want to say here...

Dean's heart will need his angel to function, so when Cas will be far away fr him, he will miss him a lot... His heart will be aching, longing for his angel... Awwww.

And why is Dean's heart? The heart that the demon (our awkward Matchmaker) is from a sheriff, a RIGHTEOUS MAN. There you go...

Well.. another things was this demon, awkwardly talking about beautiful people but this beautiful people, were couples, and not just couples, but Destiel mirrors. So we have the demon, talking about people being together, being beautiful and then turned his attention to Dean, calling him gorgeous, but before that, talking a bout a place that looked like a BIG PENIS and, my friends, Dean's facial expression to that was like WTF???!!!!

Another thing I want to point is the way the demon took from the RIGHTEOUS MAN his heart out of his chest, he RIPPED IT OUT, remember the first half of season 8 talking about ripped, broken and eaten hearts? And that leading us to the crypt scene? Well, I'm telling you right now, this DESTIEL BREAK UP, will rip Dean's heart. Yep.

Now... Last thing about our Matchmaker demon here... When Dean asked Castiel "Are you okay?" Cas started to talk and said "Yes, but..." And Dean cut him off all of the sudden with a GOOD.

And we, audience like... Wut?

But hey, this bickering is necessary, even we got them bickering in the crypt... You know...

Gif ser by my talented friend @agusvedder

Yep... Sassy!Cas is back. You tell him boy!

Now... Talking about the Matchmaker, he is there seeing the scene, he's there watching how Dean cut Cas off..m and he went like...

"Wow... Awkward..." And then trying to empathize with Cas... "Wanna talk about it?"

Like a good and weird matchmaker. 🤣

Miscellaneous: there was two bikes on the wall, hanging there together in the woman and little girl's house... And the bikes were Destiel color coded: GREEN AND BLUE, and when CAS saves Sam from that Ghost Clown, he turned around and watch those bikes... So... I'm kind of paranoid here... But two bikes, romantic road, together... Is a good premonition for one reconciliation after the storm...

To Conclude:

Dean and Cas are walking towards a Destiel Divorce, just for now. So we will see them bickering and fighting, till Cas decides go away.

He was putting appart from the Winchester on purpose to show us the ongoing difference of opinions between them. (I will talk about them in next meta).

The demon was like a weird Matchmaker between CAS and Dean ,and showed us interesting symbolism as a foreshadow for what is about to coming with Destiel.

We just need to wait and see!

I hope you enjoyed this meta! See you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @agusvedder @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @destielshipper221b @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning

If you want to be tagged in my METAS, just let me know

Buenos Aires, October 10th 2019 11:01 PM

[shirtlesssammy]

15x01: Back and to the Future

Then:

Welcome to the end!

Now:

It’s still the end. Bob Seger sings some bullshit song about the Final Scene (brb, crying) over the seamless transition from recap to the start of the episode. Team Free Will are fighting off the zombie horde that God resurrected. Before they’re overwhelmed, Cas grabs Jack’s corpse and they take off for a nearby mausoleum. Cas sets Jack down while the brothers secure the door. They’re safe, temporarily.

They try to make sense of what Chuck just did, and Dean lashes out at Cas trying to brainstorm ideas on what they should do next. I love how sassy!Cas just pops out whether the situation demands it or not. (Sidenote: I’m going to missing this fucking angel SO fucking much.)

Sam thinks he’s found a way out through a drainage pipe under the mausoleum. The brothers start dismantling the masonry (and struggle with it while they just let Cas stand and watch. Lol, panic really does stop critical thinking skills.) Alas, there are zombies on the other side and Cas steps up and smashes the ghost out of the corpse.

Just then Jack stands up and says, “Hello.” Only, it’s not Jack, it’s a demon named Belphegor, and SOMEHOW, despite 15 years of training, we’re all instantly gleefully enjoying this creature inhabiting poor, dead Jack. Cas, on the other hand, is not so happy about the turn of events and demands that Belphegor leave Jack’s body.

Belphegor can help! Dean stops Cas. He wants to hear what the demon has to say if it can help them get out of their current situation. Belphegor says he can send all the monsters outside their door away.

He has a spell that requires graveyard dirt —and angel blood. Sam just says Cas’s name. I appreciate Cas’s face at that. Of course he’s going to help (After all, he’s always happy to bleed for the Winchesters) but that was a bold assumption there, Sam.

With a clap of his hands, the noises fall silent outside. They exit the mausoleum to find the graveyard strewn with corpses. The spirits inhabiting them were blasted away.

Cut to Bloody Mary torturing some girls just trying to enjoy some makeover time.

Team Free Will + Belphegor are on the road. Sam is finding nothing in the news about a zombie apocalypse. Dean wants to head back to the bunker and figure out a way to close up hell. Belphegor suggests a spell to contain the ghosts while they figure out their plan. The spell can create a circle a mile wide that will trap the ghosts. One problem, that Cas points out, is that the town by the cemetery would fall within the circle. They decide they need to evacuate the town.

On their drive, they find an abandoned car, blood on the windshield, but no body. Dean and Sam recognize that this was the work of a woman in white. They also come to the conclusion that every spirit they put down is back as well.

Cut to a birthday party that’s gone MASSIVELY off the rails. A mother, holding her daughter, runs through the house.

Blood splatters the walls and a creepy laugh echoes in the distance of the house. They head to the garage to try and escape, but they can’t open the door. The mom cries for help, but the neighbor walking by doesn’t hear. They’re stuck with the ghost of John Wayne Gacy stalking them.

The next day, the boys pull into the town as FBI agents and Sam informs the local sheriff he needs to evacuate the town. He suggests getting everyone to the high school five miles down the road.

Meanwhile, Dean tells Cas to go with Belphegor to collect the ingredients for the spell. Cas refuses. “Dean, I can’t even look at him.” Like, OUCH. Sam and Dean have it bad enough seeing Jack walk around when it’s not really Jack, but Cas has the added layer of being able to see Belphegor’s true face in Jack’s body. Cas bolts from the Impala to find Sam.

Having witnessed that tension, Belphegor finds this to be the perfect time to needle Dean. He sees all the people around them and comments on how crazy good looking everyone is these days (less humps). (Also, he mentions how when he was a human people worshipped “a giant rock that looked like a huge penis.” And Dean’s face is priceless. His face looking at the gay couple was also quite priceless.) He pushes Dean by telling him he’s gorgeous. (Ahem) Dean wants him gone from Jack’s body. Belphegor asks who “he” was, meaning Jack, and Dean responds, “he was our kid.” I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING. Belphegor then tells Dean what ingredients he needs for the spell: salt and a human heart. Easy, peasy. 

Sam and Cas split up to go door-to-door and evacuate residents. They both end up at murder houses. Sam follows an eerie trail of blood down the hallway towards the garage. Cas uncovers the dead teens. As Cas strides from the house, Bloody Mary smirks at him from a mirror. She loves to watch you leave, Cas! (Same, GURL.) (Boris: Did anyone else notice that Cas knocked before entering the house? What a polite bean.)

Sam investigates the garage, shotgun at the ready. From above, the mom and little girl push up from where they were hiding behind a bunch of sports equipment. Sam helps them out, tells them everything will be fine, and then turns and comes face-to-face with a killer clown. The clown swipes at him with a knife, and Sam goes down. Sam’s cowering on the floor, injured, when Cas bursts in with his own shotgun and blasts the ghost away.

Back downtown, the Sheriff continues clearing each shop while Dean heads back to Belphegor with his big sack o’ rock salt. On the phone, Dean orders Rowena to head to town and help them out. She forces him to say, “Move your exquisite ass, please.” We love her dearly for it.

Belphegor stares steadily at Dean. “I’m a fan,” he admits. “When you were in Hell with Alastair I got a chance to watch you work. The things you did to those people. It wasn’t torture. It was art.”

Dean deflects from his past torture, asking about Hell. Same old, same old, Belphegor reports, except that when Chuck had his tantrum all the doors of Hell unlocked. Demons became a swarm of escaping minions. We also learn that Michael’s cage is open. He’s still sitting within the open cage. “He wouldn’t hold a grudge, right?” Belphegor whacks Dean jovially on the shoulder. BELPHEGOR, men have probably died for less. 

The cut in Sam’s abdomen is deep and Cas heals him (and his clothing) immediately. (Somebody get Cas over to my house ASAP. I have three things on my mending pile I’ve been avoiding.) 

“I’m an angel,” Cas explains to the astonished mom and kid. Sam introduces himself as “just a guy” and then clutches his shoulder in pain. First of all, SAM you are not “just” anything. Second of all…

Cas examines Sam. The wound looks black and raw. Whatever magic is at play is still at work. He tries to heal it but stumbles back as Sam has a vision of himself with demon-black eyes. Cas can’t heal it - there’s an energy in the wound he’s never felt before. Sam dismisses the wound then. He’s FINE. Just watch him do jumping jacks and push ups and eat a salad with no hands!

The Sheriff calls and tells Sam that the town’s been fully evacuated. He’s going to head out, too. (It was at this point in the episode that Boris drawled, “Well, that Sheriff’s dead.”) And, indeed, the Sheriff encounters the Woman in White and meets a bloody death. 

Dean and Belphegor head out towards the morgue to find a heart, only to find the Sheriff recently dead. Convenient! The demon punches into his chest and pulls out the Sheriff’s fresh heart. 

Cas, Sam, and the mom and kid stalk the empty suburban street, heading towards safety. Unfortunately, instead of safety arriving with a nice reflective vest and thermoses of hot chocolate, our ghosty pals show up instead. Bloody Mary crawls around the reflective surface of a pond, and the clown grins menacingly on the street. (I am reminded of interviews about how dark and dimly lit season 1 was, and how the studios told them to make the show brighter and more colorful. I’m of the opinion that this largely improved the show, since it’s much easier for me to see the action and I generally like pretty, bright colors. But folks on the interwebs have been complaining that these ghosts lack a spook factor in the broad daylight. And I can totally understand that.)

Two more ghosts appear, so now it’s just three ghosts to vanquish. No biggie? Sam shoots each ghost one by one, then accidentally shoots Cas. “You shot me,” Cas points out indignantly. Now he’s gonna have to fix his clothes AND his skin. RUDE. (At least Sam missed the guinea pig.)

Downtown, Belphegor clutches the heart and tries to ineffectually ward off the Woman in White. She ghost-slashes his palm. Dean swings a tire iron through her and then hurls it to the ground (DEAN BEAN NO) before running off with Belphegor to perform the spell. Belphegor starts to chant in Latin, kneeling before the heart. He slaps the ground, the heart pounds with power, and a spell races out from the center. 

The other two-thirds of Team Free Will watch the edge of the spell race past them and end near the end of the block. They run for the barrier while the four ghosts chase them and giggle wildly. They all make it just in time. The clown howls in rage from within the barrier and Sam tells him to “shut up.” We are all very proud of your catharsis, Sammy!

Later, Team Free Clown Car pulls up to the high school where the town’s evacuated to and advise the mom and child not to tell anyone about ghosts and angels. The little girl gets out a quiet “thank you.” (Token innocent life saved!) Sam nods in acknowledgment and escorts them inside. 

Dean approaches Cas and asks him if he’s okay. “Yes, but—” Cas starts to reply but Dean cuts him off and stalks away again. Oooookay. All is not well with our two love birds! (Like others, I’m of the opinion that Cas was about to bring Dean’s attention to Sam’s bullet wound. Damn it, Dean!)

Of course, Belphegor watched the whole exchange. “Awkward,” he comments, before Cas stalks off for some alone time. 

Back at the car, Dean and Sam convene to talk about the case. They’ve got just a few days, tops, before all kinds of Federal agents descend on the town. Before they do anything, though, Dean insists on patching up Sam’s shoulder. We get a teeeeeny bit of shirtless Sammy which I have included below for posterity. 

There’s no exit wound in his shoulder. Sam LIES LIKE A DOG and tells Dean that it doesn’t hurt much. Dean distracts him like he used to do when they were young (with a dumb joke). Dean starts to spin over the whole Chuck thing. “We were just rats in a maze,” he says. Dean wonders what everything they’ve done means. 

“We still saved people,” Sam insists. Sam also thinks that Chuck has left entirely, bored with their world. All the alternate realities were just other failed drafts, Sam decides. “If he bailed, it’s just us. For the first time, it’s just us.” Dean slowly starts to cheer up in the face of Sam’s quiet optimism. 

“You and me, versus every soul in Hell?” Dean says. “I like those odds.”

They close the trunk. “We have work to do.”

Natasha: After the episode, Boris noted that there are only 19 episodes left and it was all TOO MUCH. So we’re going to do our best not to count down these final episodes. Please, join us in denial! <3

_____________________________

All We Need is a Human Quote:

Well, I wouldn’t starve.

He’s always so squirrely with the robe and the beard and the smile that’s like half nice half I’m gonna rip your throat out. Oh, I’m gonna play you a song!

You’re an abomination with that stupid, dumb trench coat.

We are not twinsies.

So people are like, crazy good looking now.

There we were, minding our own business, flaying people for all eternity like you do. 

Bad ghost! BAD!

What’s one more apocalypse, right?

_____________________________

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[glassesandkim]

This new Nico makes me uncomfortable. The way he just wants Levi for sexual gratification is weird. Levi clearly didn't want to have sex yet Nico persisted. I hope they aren't going where I think they're going with this. I miss Nico Kim from 15x01-16x12.

Yeah, I can’t put my finger on who Nico is anymore after these two episodes. It’s disappointing, of course, because fanon has spent so much time and love creating Nico and this Nico? Not sure what grey’s wants us to believe. If this is the Nico they had planned all along or if this Nico is one that is avoiding Big Issues in his life. 

But mmm... I know where this ask might lead to and my honest opinion and take on it is that Nico didn’t persist in this specific situation (other situations, we can’t know). He stopped when Levi stopped. Left almost but Levi called him back. And I also know that it can be interpreted as Levi giving in when he didn’t really want it. And I also know that some have said that that’s a form of manipulation. (Some said gaslighting which I disagree with. Now, don’t come at me with pitchforks, but I think some clarification on what gaslighting is might be needed for some.)

How can we know for sure this is what happened? Only if the characters say so themselves. It is fine to theorize and to speculate. I read those interpretations with care and with caution. 

My interpretation, in order not to bring the narrative towards a topic that I’m not sure is what the writers want, is to go by what Levi said: Nico does not want to talk and therefore, is maybe using sex as a distraction or a way to avoid Talking or Questioning. 

Is that okay? No. It’s a problem and they’re gonna have to work it out. Or not. Depends where the writers wanna take this ship because I don’t know anymore. 

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

We also need to stop to draw simplistic connections like “anger-masculinity-toxic-bad”. Anger is a necessary step in getting free from oppression, for instance - basically, in order to destroy the patriarchy (or any other kind of bad thing) you have to get angry at it first, you know? Amara was angry at her brother for caging her. Dean is angry at God for essentially the same thing, caging him in the manipulation game of his little project. Anger is a good start; obviously something else, something more constructive, needs to follow, but anger is good at doing what it’s for.

What’s “wrong” in the current situation is that Dean is aiming his anger at Cas, because Cas is a) there, b) safe. (God is currently not there and also, you know... God; himself is destructive; Sam is out of the question because the safest option there is reverting to old dynamics rooted in childhood; everyone else is simply not someone Dean has the closeness, intimacy and trust he has with Cas). Addressing this issue will be a next step in their relationship.

But, at least in my opinion, it’s not “acting like John”. It’s acting like an Amara fresh from the pain of what Chuck did to her.

In 15x02 Dean’s behavior already changed compared to 15x01, as soon as he got an opportunity to verbalize his emotions in a safe setting (alone with Cas) he has done it! It’s almost like people need a safe setting to express, thus process, their emotions...

[estrel]

Hi ely, I've been following you for a long time, and I know before the finale you were pro dabb and now you don't like him, and like I was pretty much on the same page so I thought you would be the right person to ask. So I saw this post today that had an excerpt of an interview with dabb from like early 2020, and he talks about how the ending won't be a full circle thing and that he thinks that would be invaliding for the the story.

I just don't know what to think anymore, everything is so conflicted. Like what do you make of this? I've been pissed at Dabb and I get that there was also probably some network stuff going on but that's not stopped me from being pissed. This just sort of turned the tables on me and I don't know what Dabb did and didn't do

ohhh here's the thing. (also sorry for just now seeing this??) dabb wrote. like. a Lot of destiel episodes/content. let me just...dig up the hope vibes masterpost real quick...

here are some deancas eps he wrote (and a list of all the eps he wrote) in addition to 15x01 and 15x10 which were...you know... eps that drove forward the destiel plot for the season. he gave cas generally good plots, (like he literally wrote hunteri heroici and would make sam and dean allude to cas or speak on his behalf if he wasn’t in an episode) he wrote the widower arc prayer scene in 13x01 which i (and many others) thought would mean that he would like. show dean’s grief a lot more post-15x18. 

so really, honestly, the cards all lined up for dabb to not let us down in 15x20. you could argue that his mention of cas was fulfilled by the stupid scene with sam and dean and the pie (wherein dean basically goes “yeah, whatever” at the mention of cas and jack) or bobby’s “cas helped” but...this is the guy who. this is the guy who wrote “you’re gonna bring back cas, you’re gonna bring back mom” (HELLO?) and “he’s in love........with humanity” AND, like i mentioned before, 15x01 which was the beginning of the season’s deancas arc and last but not least,,

15x10 the heroes journey. which i have talked about quite a bit but oh my god. garth’s story was the example, the standard to live up to. he was breaking the cycle, and in this episode sam and dean learned this from him. dean admitted he could be capable of having a happy life/relationship. not to mention that the episode is called. The Heroes Journey. sam and dean are literally established (ALONG NEXT TO GARTH) as the heroes in this story. like point blank that is what is stated in this episode. then they tell you that hunter heroes like garth can get happy endings. (and might i remind you this is also the episode with “why lamp.”) so anyways, if dabb wrote this episode it would seem obvious that he didn’t want sam and dean’s story to go full circle and that he wanted them to ..like...complete the heroes’ journey. duh. obviously.

and yet, according to multiple sources and jensen’s overall dislike of the finale, dean’s death was always going to happen. so. personally, i think it might come down to the omitted scenes (which, okay, have not yet been verified but. think about how short that episode was. especially for the season finale of a fifteen year long show. then wipe that covid excuse straight from your mind as i point you to the bridge scene. yeah, covid my ass. anyways,) and what was pointedly left out of them. especially that mention of “if cas was here...” “he’s not.” like. if that shit is REAL? i think it might have been--on a meta level--dabb’s/the writer’s commentary on the fact that cas was not there if he was actually intended to be. 

i mean. if dean dying was always the ending, and dabb wrote 15x10 the heroes journey and all the very obvious parallels between dean and garth, then why lamp, AND “this baby keeps looking at me weird” “so kind of like the real cas?,” and ALSO stated he didn’t want their story to go full circle...well. then my thoughts lead me to believe that yeah, cas was at the very least supposed to be in dean’s heaven ending. 

misha confirmed the draft with jimmy novak was Legit (in a recent m&g iirc), but i feel like even this would have been a last ditch effort as a response to not being able to have cas in dean’s heaven bc homophobia that would have then been played off as a tragedy when dean doesn’t have cas there (this also opens up a whole ‘nother can of worms of like. “if dean’s heaven doesn’t have cas...then is it really Heaven at all?” but alas), if that makes sense. because the other puzzle pieces are matching up except for one and it’s infuriating to not just Know everything that went on because i’m sure there are lots of layers to it but all in all my opinion is that i’m Frustrated and Confused. 

signs point to cas being in the finale. then he wasn’t. the fanfiction gap lies in the in-between of those two sentences, and i wish i had the answers, but i don’t ...which also means i don’t know who to blame. i wanna blame everyone <3 but i do think the network had a bigger role in the caslessness of 15x19 and the finale

[flyingcatstiel]

1. Hello again, I am the same anon who sent both of your latest two anonasks. I think there was some confusion so I'll clarify. I don't even ship stony(I've only read handfuls of fics), I ship destiel and I like all mcu characters equally and I am not team cap nor iron but I am a bitter cas girl. There was NO intention to bring any wank or ships/characters bashing to your blog. I was just so angry with 'we are' and your answer to the first ask got me thinking about stony.

2. But my ask was poorly and inadequately worded to confuse you of the ulterior intention and I apologize. Though I shouldn’t have use the ship names when I meant their general relationship both in canon and fanon, what I meant was in regard to the same situation, which is their mother’s deaths, Tony actually drew blood and all Dean did was say some words,

3. so one might think that actual physical conflicts not induced by any supernatural event indicate bad relationship but I feel Dean and Cas’s friendship and general relationship more unhealthy and unbalanced.

4. Now I just decided for my self that that’s probably because Tony and Steve has different visions, families, groups of friends and support system so even if there is conflict between them, Tony still got Pepper Rhodey and Happy and Steve got Bucky Nat and Sam.

5. So no one is left alone in the world. But if Dean’s angry with Cas, Cas is alone in the universe. I meant unhealthy like that. Cas has no one except Winchester families and if that makes Cas desperate for sense of belong and makes him apologize like that, that imao is unhealthy. But all in all, I am sorry for the confusion. I shouldn’t have been so blunt and out of the blue. Post 1502 made me go blind with unreasonable fury.

6. On a different note it’s interesting how wording and context make differences between being perceived as wank baiting anon hate or anon thanks. And I hope that this message is accepted as the latter because I am always grateful of all your reasonable words about Spn and fandom fruits. :) thanks for reading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heey, sorry for total misunderstanding with the previous ask and thank you for coming back and clarifying it! And yes, I’m kinda jumpy lately, since couple of my spn critical posts were hijacked by destiel haters and also earned me the blocking from destiel positivity crowd. That’s the fandom we have and that is one huge reason why I’m slowly sauntering into MCU fandom. To be brutally honest, that’s my advice to all bitter Cas girls - get out before you get too frustrated and hurt. The show will continue Cas whump because they don’t know what else to do, and destiel metas will spend all their energy justifying it. Instead of, you know, just saying that bad writing is bad writing. You can always come and vent in my inbox or via DM tho, I’ll try to answer as much as I can, because I feel you. 

OK, very quickly about CW movie and Tony’s anger vs Dean’s anger. I don’t think Tony’s situation is comparable at all here. Tony learns about Bucky killing his parents on Hydra’s orders after a long chain of very intense conflicts. That was literally the last drop, there’s little time to process it, and it is the culmination of the movie. On the other side, Dean and Cas conflict is never the centerpiece of SPN, it’s all subtext and Dean’s POV. Dean blaming Cas for Mary’s accidental death comes absolutely out of nowhere. They all knew that Jack is using his soul to do stuff, they all knew Jack needs supervision. FFS, Jack just brought Sam back from dead by using his soul. And now Cas is to blame for it? Not to mention that Dean and Cas relationship is way more complicated than MCU stony. Even if we take out romantic destiel subtext out of it, textually, Cas still is the closest person to Dean after Sam. Dean has called Cas his family, his brother several times. Dean grieved Cas in s13. And now, suddenly, it all means nothing because Dean is angry? Unpopular opinion about SPN writers under the cut.

I said it already back then and I still stand by my words - Berens wrote the line “You are dead to me” deliberately to yank the fandom. There are plenty of other words he could have used if he simply wanted to show Dean’s grief and uncontrollable anger towards Cas. Instead, SPN focused on one thing that would hurt the most and then used it in the promo. I literally saw post on my dash saying that OP was not gonna watch the episode because SPN is just meh, but, after seeing that promo, OP wanted to know why Dean said something so hideous to Cas. Remember how fans hoped that it’s a misleading promo? Remember how fans hoped that Dean will apologize to Cas? There’s an understanding that that line was too much. And, after s14 finale, I saw posts talking about how this is not relevant anymore because surely Jack’s death and Chuck’s machinations override whatever anger Dean could have towards Cas for not telling him about snake. And then 15x01 brought us that passive aggressive scene and, well, 15x02 took the cake. 

So, while I totally agree with you that the scene between Dean and Cas was terrible, my way of dealing with it is to blame SPN writers. First of all, I don’t understand what Dean is talking about there. Nothing was real? Does he mean some kind of Matrix type of reality where the real Dean is sleeping in a pod? Otherwise, it was all real. Tell Kevin Tran that his death and time after death was not real. Tell it to Jo, Charlie, Eileen that their deaths were not real. Cas speech is nice, but, honestly, not a groundbreaking revelation. Whedon’s Angel said it wittier, Dumbledore and Gandalf said it more fitting for their stories. There’s a Jewish proverb with similar sentiment. Like, this is nothing new! Our choices matter, sometimes it is the only thing that matters. I mean, everyone who has lived under authoritarian regimes, everyone who’s a minority and has to deal with privileged majority, knows this. To make Dean to refuse it in s15, is honestly very baffling. 

Like, I see that SPN writers want to draw some parallels with s4 by flipping Dean and Cas beliefs, but, scene subversion works only if you know why the first scene worked in the first place. I think this scene would have worked better if Dean would be just venting his understandable frustration with the situation. But instead, we got Cas apologizing, Dean still blaming Cas for Mary’s death (seriously wtf?) and then Dean walking out on Cas and refusing Cas’ belief in their choices being real. 

And here I come to my last point. Dean saying that their choices were not real because Chuck manipulated everything sounds very much like privileged middle class white people suddenly realizing that they are not calling the shots and then throwing into a towel. This really looks like the most “profound” revelation Bucklemming could’ve come up with. They gave similar moronic lines to Cas in 9x03, when Cas, former angel who watched humanity for thousand of years, was surprised that poor people are kind and generous. 

So, to me it looks like SPN writers are trying to be deep but in the end they write what they know best - angry white man is always right trope and le omg, if I’m not the center of the universe then everything was not real story. Which sucks, tbh. And clashes with older seasons of SPN. But here we are. And, since the conflict between Dean and Cas is based on such a weak argument, there can’t be real resolution, catharsis and growth. The current conflict serves only one purpose - to keep Cas and Dean on bad terms and to make Cas leave (because Misha’s contract something something). My worst fear - this stupid conflict will set Cas on self destructive/sacrificial path, and that will be it. Because let’s be serious, destiel is not the most important thing in s15. It’s just not.