#my anxiety is jacked

[proxycrit]

(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:

Your honor the horses are now lesbians

(Anyways here’s the designs)

[ohheyitsem]

I told my therapist I felt disregulated, and I found that incredibly distressing, and nothing I'd tried to help had worked. Her response was that going back to work would fix it. Bestie I don't think that's it

[mayomkun]

Bring us a dream ✨

[new-and-disturbed-theorist]

May I offer a meme in these uncertain times?

[reyenii]

i love don and the look on his face in this scene. the way he almost doesn't understand what he needs to do until the end. like “what’s happening??😦😦😦should i get up and start singing???😲😲😲 i dont get it☹️☹️☹️☹️”

[sanamustdie]

a krauser 3d sculpt (wip) i've been working on! it's based on francishsie's art on twitter cause i loooove how he draws krauser!!

this was supposed to be my comeback into my 3d era but NOW the problem is that while sculpting this i realised my computer had a malware, i tried to reset but it's been acting weird af since so RIP to my computer i guess!! i lost all my softwares and idk if the malware is still there….. this is what i get for being a krauser simp

[onlydrawnbad]

Do you ever read 570,000+ word, 130+ chapter fanfics that were started nearly 8 years ago and have current year updates, and as you get to the end of certain chapters along the way, you keep going "wow, I would have hated to be here in 201x and have to wait for THAT cliffhanger, those poor readers, those sad, desperate historical souls" and you're just so glad for yourself because you know you don't have to stop until chapter 139, and you arrogantly assume that's probably just extended epilogues or something (because you were previously conditioned by another fic to believe that), so everything will be fine?

Only to get to chapter 139 and SCREAM OUT LOUD because you jinxed yourself right into THE NEWEST WAVE OF CLIMATIC PLOT CHAPTERS WHERE ALL THE SHIT IS GOING DOWN and now you, too, have become the reader you felt such pity for?

Wait, you don't?

THEN GO OVER THERE AND DO WHAT I DID SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE IN MY HUBRIS. It comes with art. So. Much. Wonderful. Comic. Art.

I would like to stress (as I have done before) that I have never played this game. Not once. I had never even heard of it originally. Yet this is now the second absolutely massive Sans x reader/OC fic I have read in this fandom. Everything I know about Undertale, I learned because one day on a whim I decided to read a 480,000+ word, 170+ chapter fanfic because I liked the way @tricktster used words on some tumblr post (don't ask me which one, I've forgotten). I have re-read that fic at least once a year, if not more, for multiple years in a row because it's like a favorite book to me now.

If anyone needs me, I'll be comfort-reading it, again.

And then probably going back and re-reading JoAT, because oh my god that fic. I'm just so in love with it for a million reasons.

(Yes, it took me this long to see there was another glorious treasure in plain sight under @capnhanbers despite following @mod2amaryllis and it's just really embarrassing to be confronted by that kind of obliviousness, okay? Can I blame it on how, multiple times now over the years, I've gone months and months without looking at this app unless it notified me of something specific?)

I swear, I have never read fic in any other fandom where it was this easy to immerse myself in it with nothing more than some light googling along the way (the first time with CoBC), and the googling was just because I'm me and I like to know all the things. In both cases, you don't have to come to the table with anything other than an interest in supernatural-elements stories (monsters, magic, etc) and a love for snappy dialogue and funny (dad) jokes and HEART-WRENCHING FEELS and watching the author having a life journey in the notes.

(And yes, sure, an open mind about a skeleton monster and a human having magical sex, but if you know you're in a rated fic about monsters and humans, you must know that's going to be a thing.)

[eldritch-rpgs-and-dogs]

FUCKING TAILYPO??? In my horror podcast? It’s more likely than you think

[sassyandclassy94]

Look at this and hear me out for a sec.

That poor girl!! She attended the party. She dressed up for the party. she sat down kinda next to Don. She probably had her eye on Don the entire night and even after Bobby tries to push him, he still doesn’t ask her to dance. Like you don’t understand this really bothers me! And it’s not like Don didn’t have his eye on her too, he did! But he did nothing about it!

I love you, Don but you deserved to be dragged up to that piano.

[izzyspussy]

izzy is a rules-routines-patterns autist and stede is a norms-are-nonsense autist, and that's why they don't get along

[throwawaydracula]

"Why does Van Helsing expect Seward to go so long without sleep?"

I don't think that he did, is the thing? Could be wrong, I suppose. But I think he'd figured Jack would take the day off. Jack is the head of an asylum and appears to have very (very) free rein there. I think he'd assumed that Jack might postpone some of his paperwork, or hand it off to a subordinate. At least enough to get a nap in. That would actually be much less likely to raise the eyebrows of whoever it is he has to justify himself to for his paycheck than some of the stuff he's done with Renfield. "I was up all night with a sick friend so I took the day off" is much more conventional than "I tried letting a violent patient run loose because I thought I'd understand his case better."

Incidentally, this has given us some really excellent insight into Seward's character: Dr. John Seward is the kind of man for whom the idea of letting a violent and extremely strong near-60-year-old try to escape seems responsible, but absolutely cannot imagine neglecting his paperwork in favor of napping. In the words of a dear friend, "One is for Science, taking a nap is just lazy."

It's the kind of thing one either finds oddly endearing or absolutely infuriating. Or both.

[theauthor27]

If I didn't respond to a thing you said I either didn't know how to, forgor, or a mix of the two.

[we-are-inevitable]

snow angel by renee rapp but it’s a young, scared david jacobs curled up in his bed instead of going to the party he was getting ready for because he was hit with a sudden panic attack and extreme social anxiety and he doesn’t know why and he’s just lying there, shaking to his very core, whispering ‘it’s okay, you’re okay, everything’s fine’ over and over again as he shoves down the bile-tasting self-hatred while tears are forming at the corners of his eyes and there’s just. a hole where his heart is normally beating. to him, this is hell. to him, this is a dark nightmare. to him, this is life.

YES OH FUCK

ok so i normally am not a fan of davey who is reduced only to his anxiety but this is an example of doing it RIGHT. davey who leads a normal life, davey who enjoys going out and having fun with his friends and underage drinking. davey who is wild and fun and having the time of his life with his new friends because they’re loud and different and davey finally feels like he can be a normal teenager around them, instead of always having to be Responsible Older Brother or Perfect Eldest Son.

davey being so excited to go out. it’s a party in brooklyn that some of jack’s friends are hosting, and everything is fine until jack sends him a text that says he just left medda’s apartment and is walking to get davey so they can walk to the train station together. and that’s when davey feels it first- the tremor in his hands, the pit in his stomach, the quickening heartbeat deep in his chest- and all davey can think is no, not now, please not now, but the world doesn’t listen to his words, so why should his body?

and it’s only a ten minute walk from his place to medda’s, so jack will be here any minute, and davey was supposed to meet him at the street corner so his parents dont ask any questions about where theyre going or what they’re doing but now he hears the doorbell ring and hears his mom’s footsteps through the apartment and oh god jack is here jack is here jack is going to see him like this and then there’s a knock on his door.

jack walks in to see davey, dressed for a party yet curled in the corner on the floor, tears streaming down his face, having to force himself to take breaths and stifle his sobs and he feels awful because this is supposed to be a good night. this isn’t even his first time going to a party. it won’t be his first time drinking, it won’t be his first time smoking, he smooth talked his way into a club last week with just a smile and a fake ID— he has no reason to be panicking like this, not when parties have become an every-other-friday event for him.

just ,, jack helping him calm down, jack walking him through the rest of his panic attack until he can breathe properly again, jack sitting next to him and holding his hand and letting him figure himself out. walking around davey’s room and finding him a big sweatshirt and some shorts to change into bc jack wants davey to be comfortable right now and that panic attack clearly left him drained— and left him with some crescent moon nail marks on his thighs and scratches on his scalp because of how hard he was trying to ground himself and how often he would pull his hair just to try to pull himself back. letting davey change and sitting on his bed with him, their backs to the wall, hands clasped together, jack’s feet hanging off the bed while davey sits with his knees to his chest.

“you don’t have to say,” davey says. “i didn’t want to ruin anything. you can still go.”

“you didn’t ruin a damn thing,” jack replies. “i just wanted to see ya tonight. doesn’t matter where.”

so they stay there. they watch some random anime on netflix. they share a joint on the fire escape and pretend that esther and mayer aren’t going to have a serious talk with davey over marijuana use the next day. they raid the cupboards and eat snacks and talk until three am, when they finally fall asleep together.

i think the biggest thing about davey’s anxiety is that it has a mind of its own. sure, general anxiety is kind of always there, but davey is strong enough and trusts himself enough to push it down and live how he wants. but when it sneaks up on him, it packs one hell of a punch. it makes him question himself, his friends, his life— it makes him feel like he’s a failure for having fun, like he’s ruining his life for such a small joy, and it’s not something he’s able to control as easily.

emme i adore this. thank u sm

[theodoradove]

tfw when you read the acknowledgements for an academic text on an incredibly niche subject and realize the author is the brother-in-law of a grad school classmate (in a discipline that is only somewhat tangentially related to the book in question)

[op15-moonwaltz]

If I had a nickel for every time I babygirled a martin short character named jack I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice

[frogmanfae]

Modern David Jacobs sleeps with a weighted stuffed animal. It probably smells like lavender.