#my apologies if this I'm rambling on and this is not at all coherent

[readyfreddy]

just sending as anon cause i like to be mysterious, but i know the positive feedback hopefully outweighs the negative on your survey - but please take time for yourself as well, i can only imagine how awful some of the negative things are/how negative the slurs are and i don’t want you to get beat down from it :(

but also im so happy to hear you’re getting the feedback you need and i really hope it helps

Thanks anon, I really appreciate your kind words.

The vast majority of the comments are so positive, and bring tears to my eyes. A lot of them are along the lines of "I'm so happy that you're taking initiative of this,""I wish you the best of luck," "I hope your team's pride night goes awesome" and "I wish that pride/inclusion nights existed when I was younger." They are so encouraging, especially from people saying that pride nights help them feel safer and represented.

I hope that my work will help other people and teams in the future. Furthermore, I am hoping that my team actually listens and puts my efforts into consideration when planning special event nights for next season. Even if they don't, they will know that this is an issue that people genuinely care about.

The rest of the comments are what you would expect, proving exactly why pride nights and education are still crucial and needed.

I think a harder part of this project is that I'm not officially "out" to a lot of my family, so I can't discuss it with them, even though I'm super excited and proud of what I'm doing. I don't think that they're homophobic, it's not really anything we've really discussed. I'm sure that they know at this point.

The fact that most of the comments are positive is really encouraging, and surprising, as I was expecting for the comments to be overwhelmingly negative and hurtful.

Also I'm obsessively checking the results, which doesn't help. NGL, I'm also using this project to avoid completing an assignment that's due in roughly 48 hours.

I have received nearly 250 responses in under 24 hours, and maybe 5% have been outright horrible.

The survey will be open for roughly another month, so I have a feeling that I will receive more negative comments.

I may not be changing the entirety of hockey culture overnight, or even within a season. Even if I can help one fan feel included and want to start or continue playing hockey, I have done I what have needed to do. It is what I would've want I wanted to see in my respective sport(s) when I was younger.

Representation, diversity, and inclusion matters.

[strangefable]

i suspect i come off as cringe, try-hard, over-the-top, or even fake, but i assure you i am absolutely this effusive and excitable and it's entirely genuine. i've accepted that i'm just a weird old lady who overthinks and rambles too much, oversharing my thoughts, and heaping praises on people. some might think it's excessive, but it's just who i am, and i always mean it with a good, pure, and honest heart

[rubysparx]

Honestly I don't think I'm qualified to make this post, I just don't know if I can make coherent enough words man. But the thoughts are in there and I will try to articulate them. This is probably going to be mostly images though. anyway yeah KABRU POST.

A couple nights ago (at approximately 2:30am, lasting a little over half an hour) I had a bit of a moment about Kabru. That, too, was mostly images- most of what you see in this more concise post were presented then as well. I think my main points of the "moment" were about Kabru's trauma + self hatred, his autism and/or general otherness, and also a little labru if you'd like..

I think something easy to start with is I wanna point out Kabru's constant back and forth and conflicting opinions of demihumans and how, I believe, thats a reflection of how he goes back and forth on what he believes his purpose of living is- and the general worth of his own life. I've said it before and i've just kinda shown it in images; Kabru is "i think im a monster and it disgusts me" where Laios is "I know im a human and it disgusts me" (i could go more into the latter on another post)

the above are both from the world bible, with the left being from the section on kobolds and the right being from the section on Kuro specifically. Utaya was very near to the desert where most of the kobold population is, this is likely why Kabru is able to speak Kuro's language- he grew up around demihumans. (chapter 48 cover, kobold chapter in the world bible) I won't try to speak for how his mother or the rest of utaya felt about the kobolds but I can say that Kabru was very much othered as a child, as was his mother, purely for the way her son's (kabru) eyes looked.

I feel like its fair enough to say that both kabru and the kobolds were othered, and possibly for similar reasons (villager's seeing them as nonhuman, as monsters) and the fact that Kabru learned their language probably didn't help his case. I think his perception of kobolds (and all demihumans, subsequently himself, as he probably still views himself as nonhuman or not human enough.. deep down) was damaged by the Utaya incident. at 2:30am when I first started this ramble my main comment was that "had the utaya incident not happened kabru would have little reason to feel ashamed for his connection to monsters. and may have ended up similar to laios in that he couldve had otherkin swag" which is just a sort of silly way of saying Kabru could've learned to love the thought that he is possibly nonhuman or at least not hated himself so much for it.

in the original ramble I said, and quote, "he has been STALKING laios. laios is his hyperfixation to learn how he can ever be loved. he keeps going back and forth so harshly on wether or not he wants to kill Laios and he clearly sees his survival from utaya not as an unfortunate trauma [*] but as a necessary, deserved fate. a punishment for his mother's witchy sins, and for his sin of being non-human. to atone for it all, to apologize for being alive, he tries to better the lives of all humanity. He was set on his way to dethrone the governor of the island . do you understand? im going insane" *i also said somethings about the way he processes other people's traumas and not his own. He's able to understand and even help some people, but he struggles to process his own issues and see himself as worthy of love and life.

^some examples of Kabru being understanding of or helping others who have suffered greatly. I think its also worth mentioning that with Rin (called "Lynn" in that translation) he says "I wish there was a way to get her out of this" though he's insisted and pushed for himself to go into a dungeon;

In chapter 94, Mithrun says "The desire I had left wasn't revenge. All I wanted.. was for it to finish devouring me." and I don't feel like it's a stretch to say Kabru was in a similar situation. Mithrun sought out the demon with no plan on how to kill something like that because deep down he wanted it to end his (Mithrun's) own life, to finish the trauma it caused and kill him. I think Kabru went into the dungeon in part with the hopes that it'd kill him. That the same thing that destroyed Utaya and caused him so much trauma would just.. finish him.

I just think Kabru is a beautifully complex character, I have a lotta thoughts on him and I don't see nearly as many analysis posts for him than I do Laios (despite labru being such a popular ship)

there is no tldr for this post idk how to summarize it. do what you will with this collection of images. have fun. go crazy

fun fact the woman in the bottom left corner is his mother, she is labeled here as "witch"

[frogletscribe]

Im back with more biodiversity rambling!!!

Went for a simpler style to doodle these guys out a little faster bc i have MANY thoughts always (warning this may or may not be coherent, i apologize in advance)

IMPOARTANT NOTE: the only thing even remotely canon here is the Forest and Reef Na'vi (debatable bc they are still my own interpretations), everything else is just my own musings and personal need for more variation among Na'vi.

In previous posts i think i mentioned the insane venn diagram that lives in my head of forever overlapping and endless combos of Na'vi yadayadayada, this is (LOOSLY) that.

SO, if you have seen my initial post (here) some of these guys might be familiar, but since then, i added Wetlands, Highlands, Glacier and Ash? people! And I have Thoughts ™️

Now I'm gonna hold off on Ash? people for the most part here, mostly because i am a creature that likes at least some level of "Canon Compliance" and we really won't know anything about them until the next film, so i have yet to form any solid headcanons. That being said, I do have a couple quick things:

The name 'Ash People' leads me to think that their generally building lives/evolving around volcanic areas, grey/darker skin tones from evolving around ash?

Thicker/rough skin (volcanic rocks are sharp!) and less fur/fluff on their tails.

Wetlands I imagine as clans that have evolved as a combo or River and Reef, but also Plains, as wetlands (at least as I understand them, i know that there's more to them than this but I am simplifying here) are effectively big wet fields.

I liked the idea of how if River Na'vi developed 'armor' due to swimming in constantly moving water with lots of rocks/fish/debree/etc, that Wetlands might be similar, but not quite on the same level.

Comparatively, Wetlands have no claws, and a thinner more paddle-like tail, more similar to Reef Na'vi.

Highlands I see as Plains Na'vi that evolved for colder biomes, so they keep the builds, maybe in general larger on average, closer coloring to Plains Na'vi and the longer tails, fur and claws of Mountain Na'vi.

Lastly Glacier Na'vi is the Mountain + Reef combo to create the giant spotted seal people of my dreams. I did not show it well here, but I think both Mountain and Glacier hold more fat in their bodies than other Na'vi, as well as Reef Na'vi being physically larger as well. That combo probably makes Glacier Na'vi massive (like 12-14 ft tall). Living in significantly colder climates, they need to be able to hold more heat in their bodies too, so they are physically much larger all around.

All of these are still just loose and I continue to be vague about a lot of it bc biodiversity and cultures that evolved around a given biome are two separate things to me. I like that these can be used as like umbrellas that the actual clan cultures can be born under, but not 'rules' or anything.

(I do have at least 1 (possibly 2) fan clan situations cooking in my noggin that i am slowly working on, but that's also something i want to be very conscientious about as I build it out.)

Anyways! Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Let me know your thoughts, I love talking about this sort of thing, hearing people's feedback and building off of it!!

[cardinal-crossing]

More Polar Express doodles! I've left some notes under the cut if you would like to read, it's mostly notes about the story of the Polar Express and how these two fit in, but nothing extensive. (Probably for the best, I don't think it would be coherent if I went any further.)

ALSO POLAR EXPRESS SPOILERS BELOW!!

All right, I have some thoughts about this movie. I enjoyed watching it for the first time and got so excited that I watched the film again. While watching, I immediately picked out characters to put the subway twins as because I am so normal, and here is a little explanation. To start, in my head, all the characters that run the train are spirits or ghosts, much like how the Hobo is portrayed. While the other characters are not as prominent, there are a few hints here and there that point to such. For example, in the Glaciar Glutch scene, the conductor doesn't wrap the safety belt around himself; he only wraps it around the two kids. That at least points to the fact that he may be a spirit, as he doesn't have as much care for his person. Furthermore, he is on a magic train and has been doing it for years; he's a spirit. I'm sorry, but he is. So I chose Ingo as the conductor because, in the movie, the conductor rarely smiles; he also cares a lot about the kids, as shown by his body language. Also, in my mind, the conductor was very hard to read, but that may also be caused by the fact that the expressions were very realistic in this movie (I suspect motion capture), and I have a hard time reading facial expressions. Now, Emmet is the funnier one. I chose Emmet as the Hobo because of my personal headcanon that Emmet has the crazy uncle energy rather than the more fatherly energy. The Hobo within the movie also smiles a lot, almost constantly, and is just generally chaotic. Instead of outwardly telling the kids what to do and what not to do, he instead scares the crap out of them to teach them a lesson and further their adventure throughout the movie. He also only chooses to help in the most dire of times and in the most ridiculous way possible; think of skiing on the top of the train and tapping the emergency brake on the caboose. He makes a pun instead of just telling the main character that there is a brake, and then he poofs back out of existence. Also, the conductor clearly knows that the Hobo exists, as he alludes to it in the movie when the main character asks what the man who saved the conductor looked like. The conductor only responded, "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see." That has been my ramble, and I apologize if none of this made sense; I've been up since four this morning running off of straight caffeine, and I've been all over the place.

[merakiui]

AHHHHHH I LOVED THE RIDO FIC SO MUCH!!!

Well in my interpretation, the both of them were copying each other— in Riddle's case unknowingly and I just love the idea that there were implications of Tako, sleazy and disgusting Tako doing Riddle's favorite professor— dare I say his professor, yet nothing was confirmed except for the part where professor was late.

It could be Riddle reading too much on the appearance of the professor that he became so delulu!!! I'm not sure if I didn't understand the fic much (I apologize to you and to my fellow readers, English is my 4th language aside from my birth language huhuhu) but I really liked that you didn't exactly confirm and just gave subtle signs that are up to us if there were something going on or if we were adapting Riddle's pov in the matter, with him thinking to much and became paranoid ever since Tako came unto the picture.

BUT BUT it got me thinking, since Riddle is a goodie two shoes who's a nice and talented young individual. I wonder what his preference really is?

If given the chance will Riddle like the same girl who follows the rules and obedient—perfectly made for him or or would he choose the student who's the exact opposite of who he hoped to have as his own, someone who disregards the rules and instead does whatever she wants?

Back to the fic!! I'm sorry if the structure of this ask is too much, when I ramble too much I forget how to write coherently huhuhu, I love the line where Riddle said that Tako would be the one who'd destroy the professors life but he stated that Riddle would be the one who'd do both. And that's exactly what happened! The part where Riddle finally had enough and thought that Azul was smiling before he died.. I wonder if the sleazy Tako wanted that to happen? He set up the trap where he'd let Riddle's mind destroy himself and the thought that if Azul couldn't have the professor (if professor really was professional and had a strict student-teacher relationship) then Riddle absolutely can't have what Azul couldn't have?

YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT ITALIAN AZUL ISN'T IN THE MAFIA!!

Love lots to you Mera!! I love all your fics and rambles of twist! It has me foaming in the mouth and I want to inject it into my every being. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

(＞ω＜)♡ THANK YOU SO SO SOOOOO MUCH OMG!!!!! Gently cradling your words and this ask!!!! It means so much. <3 I'm so happy you enjoyed the story and various aspects of it!! I loved writing about Riddle and Azul copying each other. It happens so suddenly that it's difficult to determine which one of them started it, but it's still jarring all the same from Riddle's pov.

And you're correct!!! I decided to leave the relationship between Azul and Reader ambiguous so that readers could theorize whether Riddle's paranoia has any credit or not. He seems like such a reliable narrator in the beginning, but when his obsession gets the better of him and those slivers of doubt and copycat behaviors worm their way in then his own sensible narration loses its veracity.

I'm so glad you liked the line about Riddle ruining both Azul and Reader's lives!!!! I felt like this >:) when I wrote it. Azul knows what he's doing, but he's going to continue being a cockroach rat about it because that's just how he is!!! Truly a troublesome tako... >_< and look what it got him: blunt force trauma. ;;; although Azul was probably prepared for the worst when he stepped into Riddle's room. In my heart, there's a sequel to this fic where it's revealed Azul was indeed practicing Riddle's handwriting to frame him for things he didn't do so the gravity of his crime seems even more severe and premeditated even though it was mostly a crime of passion. If tako's going down, Riddle is coming with him.

Italian mafia Azul....... 👁 👁 oh, he would be so terrible. One day I'll write a fic with mafia boss Azul x spy reader hehehehe.

I think Riddle's ideal girl changes with his character development. If it's keeping with twst canon, then pre-overblot he drools over the demure sweetheart from his hometown who his mother sets him up with because she approves of you and your demeanor. You follow the rules, you listen to authority, you're conditioned to be the perfect wife, etc. After his overblot and once he learns to be more lenient with himself and others, he'd enjoy a more outgoing, rebellious sort of girl. Or maybe he's always secretly admired that type but has only ever scoffed and turned his nose up at you because of your behavior. But now that Riddle's healing and doing all sorts of things behind his mother's back while he's away at NRC (and has the freedom to do so) maybe that type grows on him more than he realized it would.

( ꈍ◡ꈍ) hehe Riddle is so precious. Thank you again for enjoying my work, lovely anon!!!! Sending you all the love and joy and many sweet treats~~

[isnt-it-pretty]

please only read this if you finished cyno’s story quest!

I absolutely loved the story quest and cyno’s dynamic with everyone else but cyrus left me a bit disappointed… not in his character overall but in his actions. he had good intentions but took cyno away from his origins, denied him answers when cyno asked (cyno said he asked many times about hermanubis and the temple and cyrus always avoided answering him) and since cyno suffered under hermanubis it would’ve been his right to know where it stems from since he couldn’t recall… cyrus probably did it to protect him but he cut cyno off from his culture and people. Bamoun and cyrus owe cyno and sethos a lot in my honest opinion and cyrus still kept avoiding answering cyno at the end of his quest (cyno even calls this out) which just shows me he didn’t learn anything at all from the events.

he also had the option to try and reach out to cyno’s biological parents because they might’ve given him away to provide a better life for him (but I have to say as a middle easterner I’m tired of this poor parents give their children away etc etc narrative we had the same with collei)

cyrus also didn’t feel responsible enough for sethos after taking everything away from him or even leaving him behind back then even he knew it’s bad for him.

cyno and sethos both suffered under the actions of cyrus and bamoun and deserve so so much better cyno is a perfect example of ethnic children being taken in by white people and having their cultures and roots taken away from them. not to mention we know that cyno did maybe have a better life in the akademiya but he was still surveilled and treated like a lab rat and discriminated and isolated until he met tighnari

sorry for this little rant. I still appreciate everything cyrus did for cyno but I think this is also an important part of his very flawed character and ideals. in the end of the quest it even felt like he was manipulating cyno by showing him the photos which he “miraculously” found again showing him “look who raised and took you in”

Sorry I just saw this! First, please never apologize for sending me long asks, I love them! Also congratulations anon, I successfully had to log onto tumblr on my PC to type out this response lol. This is... very long, longer than your ask. I'm so sorry, this is the first post I've made with my thoughts on the quest, so it's going to be a bit of a ramble in return and probably not totally coherent.

Okay, so, full disclosure, I am super white. I mean I look like Barbie sort of white. That means that I don't think I can have any constructive input on the trope (arguably cliché) of middle eastern and BIPOC+Asian characters giving away (or selling, in Cyno's case) their children, so I will definitely defer to your discomfort with the concept. It's definitely a pervasive trope (see: Collei, Dehya, Cyno) and not just in Genshin Impact. It's something that is absolutely worth bringing up and thinking about, and I bet most people didn't even consider it, so thank you for voicing it as something you've noticed! Because of this, I don't feel comfortable talking about whether or not Cyrus should have looked for Cyno's parents, because it's very wrapped up in the narrative vs the damage of the trope, which has a lot to dissect and would be better done by somebody more educated.

As for the quest, I think I've gotta split this into two parts to have my thoughts make sense. God this is so long.

-

First, as a basis, the whole thing with Hermanubis is actually so fucked up from the start even before we can get to Cyrus and Cyno. I mean Hermanubis was an advisor to King Deshret, right? (Also that was two-thousand years ago, but he only died five-hundred years ago? Did I misunderstand that? Was he immortal? The timeline in this game could use an entirely different post because between Cyno and the Hearth kids it makes zero sense, but ANYWAYS-). Presumably, having witnessed this, Hermanubis knows the danger of Forbidden Knowledge and fucking with things that should not be fucked with.

After the fall of Tulaytullah, the Temple of Silence moved to the rain forest but left due to corruption, right? So you'd think they would have agreed on the basic Cardinal Sins of the Akademiya. But now, four hundred years later, the Temple of Silence's attempt to ressurect Hermanubis breaks at least one of those sins (tampering with life and death), and arguably two more (interfering with human evolution and/or attempting the forbidden and fearing none.) I really can't imagine Hermanubis would be happy with their actions. This is like the Akademiya trying to ressurect Rukkadevata (and boy do I have a fic I want to write that digs into those parallels of Cyno and Nahida.)

The very basis for the experiment they did on Sethos and Cyno is so unethical and corrupt. This killed adults so they thought, hey! It's not going to kill the children, right? Lets do it on them despite the negative effects (headaches and fevers). Bamoun's children even volunteered Sethos, which, again, is so fucked up.

Narratively, the quest didn't focus on this at all. It was never framed as something negative or messed up like you'd think it would be? I imagine it's because they didn't want to paint Bamoun and Cyrus as bad people or Sethos as indoctrinated. (What's interesting to me is how differently some situation are treated vs others in different quests. Arguably, Wriothesley, Arlecchino, and Cyno have parts in common that are condemned to totally different extents depending on the character, but that could be it's own post too).

We can talk about Cyrus taking Cyno and whether or not that was a good decision (removing children from their culture is never a good thing but we'll get to that) but we also can't really get into it without first talking about how the entire thing was absolutely horrid and wrong from the start. We're starting the conversation about Cyrus from a remarkably low place.

Okay, onto Cyrus and the quest. I actually think it's okay that Cyrus is a flawed character. We already knew he was super strict when he was teaching Lisa and Cyno, and we knew he was into some unethical shit since we already knew he was part of the experiments on Cyno, albeit not to this extent. (Also Naphis knows all about this so what does that say about him? All the Sages are so sus, but, I mean, isn't that just government?)

Here's the thick of it. Was Cyrus taking Cyno to the rain forest a good decision? I don't know. We just don't know enough about why he left and took Cyno. The quest didn't frame the action one way or the other, nor did it give the reasons he left or Bamoun didn't go after him.

There's generally three ways to frame this. 1. Cyrus was a saviour for taking Cyno from an abusive environment. 2. Cyrus was awful and stole Cyno's power for himself. I don't think either of these make sense, since in either case, I think Bamoun would have gone after them. I think most likely is 3. There were conflicting needs.

The one I'm leaning towards right now is that The Temple of Silence was desperate and willing to push harder than they should, even if it was going to harm the children, so as an outsider with a different perspective and more objectivity, Cyrus stopped the experiment. He knew Sethos wasn't at risk of being harmed nearly as much as Cyno because Sethos had a family there already looking out for him. Cyno didn't. People care less about a child who isn't part of their community vs one who is. So he took the child who was far more likely to be harmed, and left. Taking Sethos would have been even worse than just taking Cyno, imo, since it would be taking Sethos away from his family, whereas Cyno was already taken from his family. Bamoun realized the same thing in hindsight, which is why he let Cyrus and Cyno go. But again, that's just a headcanon about what happened.

As for the rest of the problem. While as previously mentioned, I'm very white, I'm also Canadian (I promise this is relevant). A bit of Canadian history here for those who might not know, Canada once had something called Residential Schools. These were boarding school for indigenous children who were forcibly taken from their parents to be "educated." There was a lot of abuses in them and I cannot over represent the amount of damage it has done to the indigenous peoples of Canada and the country as a whole, but the main reason I bring it up here is because of the way the government tried to kill indigenous culture through their children. While I don't think this was Cyrus' intent at all, it is a real world example very close to my heart of the damage it does to children to be cut off from their cultures. We see it in fostering and adopting children as well. Indigenous foster children are best kept with indigenous foster families when at all possible. Foster parents are told to try their best to keep their foster children connected to their cultures in the home but that isn't always achieved, nor is there always even an effort made. Mixed race families often practice both cultures with their children because know how important it is.

The fact that Cyno was completely cut off from the desert is wrong, and it would have been very difficult for him to face the discrimination for being a race that he has no cultural connection to. It's something Cyrus absolutely should have done more about. I mean The Corps of Thirty are eremites even if they aren't from the desert! Cyrus could have reached out to them on Cyno's behalf to introduce him to people who share cultural aspects (young!Dehya and Cyno friendship anyone?). He could have taken Cyno to Aaru Village (young Candace and Cyno friendship?) or at least spent time in Caravan Ribat. The only reasons I can think he didn't is because he was trying to keep Cyno away from the Temple of Silence out of fear they'd come after him (well intentioned but still harmful), he didn't think about it (obliviously harmful), he didn't have the time (willfully neglectful).

Cyrus also absolutely should have told Cyno about The Temple of Silence and Hermanubis, especially when he got a little older (although I'm for raising children with that sort of knowledge. Secrets only hurt later). Assume best intentions, he was pprobably trying to protect Cyno, maybe because he wanted Cyno to find his own path instead of the one the Temple of Silence laid out for him, but I still think that was a mistake to keep it a secret.

Cyrus is a very flawed person, but so are a lot of parents. That doesn't mean that his actions were right or justified, but it does make him an interesting character. It also makes his relationship with Cyno interesting. Canonically, Cyno isn't angry. He's already struggled and come to terms with who he is and what his power means, but I still think he and Cyrus need to sit down and have a long conversation. Cyno deserves answers about Cyrus' motives and decisions and they need to talk about Cyrus trying to protect Cyno vs Cyno not needing that protection, ways Cyrus should have acted differently, etc. I'd love to see somebody explore it; it would be interesting to see since it's definitely overdue, but I don't think I could do it justice.

I don't think it's wrong of Cyno to forgive Cyrus. We as the outside observer can say, "whoa, that's fucked up," but I don't think Cyno is necessarily wrong in how he feels. Like I said, he's already dealt with a lot of this already and is remarkably resilient. I think the hardest part of all this for Cyno would probably be Sethos, because that's definitely going to be a ton of messy emotions, but that doesn't have to reflect on Cyrus. It could, of course, and if somebody wanted to write Cyno as being angry and fracturing their relationship, that would be a valid way to go, but like, idk, I know a lot of people who made really bad decisions when raising their kids, and their kids still forgave them. Not always, and being a parent doesn't mean somebody deserves forgiveness for their mistakes, but I think it shows how resilient Cyno is that he bounces back from this so well. It shows his strength in his how convictions and beliefs, which is really interesting when compared to characters like Sethos and Kaeya (and man are there a lot of similarities between Cyno and Kaeya).

I also don't think finding those photos was intended to be Cyrus manipulating Cyno, but I can see how it feels that way. Since the quest was about Cyno, it felt like a nice narrative way to tie it together by reflecting on Cyno's childhood with Cyrus, but I think it really depends on how you view the entire situation and whether you think Cyrus should have taken Cyno. It's definitely a valid take and something that's okay to feel uncomfortable about.

This is where people might disagree with me, but Cyno grew up loved. He had a lot of challenges and Cyrus made a lot of mistakes, and love doesn't fix how fucked up it all is (lots of adopted kids are loved and still hurt by not having a connection to their culture), but Cyno has already accepted all of this and ultimately, he has forgiven Cyrus for his mistakes. I think that's what the photos were trying to depict.

To me, the entire quest does a very good job of using Cyno and Sethos as foils of each other. They're both paying for the decisions of the people who raised them, and neither are right or wrong, just different. It shows Cyno's growth as a person vs Sethos who hasn't yet found his way. It shows that neither Cyrus or Bamuon made the right decisions, nor were they evil people. They were doing the best they could at the time, and they both fucked up, and now it's up to Sethos and Cyno to figure it out, but they both still love their family despite whatever mistakes were made.

I hope this rambling essay length response is satisfying lol

[thebottomfromhell]

I am completely sorry for leaving you all hanging again, this apology is probable very cheap at this point, it's been rough lately. Right now I feel as if my mental health was in shambles. You see, I sometimes do work for my mother, who is a judge, and write of some testimonies on court and the last one really got to me. It was a SA case between cousins, one a young adult (the accused) the other a teen (the victim) in which almost everyone took the side of the accused, creating the story the girl (the victim) was lying, that it was "consented" but she fear the consecuences from her mother, who everyone in that family knew was abusive but nobody ever did everything. I have been hoing through statement after statement, writting people defending the guy and I'm done, I'm exhausted, both mentally and emotionally. Never a case has gotten me this much.

I really don't want to turn this into a ramble, it wouldn't be appropriate of me to take this things out here. But I want to give you some tipa if you are ever in court or need to take something, specially SA, to court. Idk, I feel this is the minimun I should be doing.

Check the actual age of consent where you live. There is an age where is you are touched or anything sexual is done it you, is automatically considered rape, but that age is never "under 18". In most places from 13 years old to older you WILL need proof that it was forced/violent to prove it was not consented. That being said, be aware that an adult going for a minor, while not ilegal, IS creepy, IS bad and actions should be always taken.

The first thing you do if you are hurt and want to take it to court is go to get medical attention, the first. Same thing if something happens to someone you know, if you don't know what to do, go get medical attention. In some countries there are medical centers linked with the local investigation/cop organization, those WILL be cheaper. Always tell the one attenting you what happened, sometimes they will lead you to a doctor/psycologist/investigator dedicated to court.

You WILL have to give several testimonies most of the time, one to the police/investigators if included, one to the lawyers, and one to the court/jury. Sometimes the jury and lawyer will use your previous testimonies to clarify things or spot contradictions. Everyone in court have these documents at hand, so don't you even think of changing the story and ALWAYS specify if you are adding a detail you disn't say before and say why you didn't add it.

Your testimony and statements must always be as detailed as possible, never assume, while they do, that the jury knows what happened. You are the one telling. In case of SA you must say the name of the specific body parts that were touched, with what and how. It's all for it to be coherent with the results of the medical evaluation.

In most cases you will have to wait years for evidence and people to be recolegted to have some to go to court. It's valid if you don't remember everything, but take note on places, time and date, and if possible, faces and/or names (nicknames count too).

"I don't know" and "I don't remember" are VALID answers in court, always say this lines instead of lying.

Never refer that you don't remember other testimonies you gave, it gives the impression you don't remember your "lines". Just say "I don't remember what happened exactly, what I remember is..."

Sometimes layers will ask the same thing several times, phrased differently, in order to get a different answer. Don't be ashame to repeat the answer and call them off by saying "I already answered (say the answer again)" in case the lawyer in your side is bad and doesn't object the question for repetitive.

In case of vaginal rape, AFAB people have all different types of hymen, it doesn't always break, but there are still other rypes of vaginal scarring. Infections are also common in case of SA. Penetration of almost any type leaves scaring, other forms of touch that are not punches or hit does not.

Try, if you have the means, to have a psicologist with experience in court (in spanish profesionals linked to court are called peritos) and colaborate. Even if you don't have the symptoms of a "good victim" "default victim", you WILL have simptoms, that their testimony explaining thems helps a lot to make the jury believe you.

In some places if you are a family member of the accused you will be obligated to attend to court but you will have the right of not giving testimony if you fear your word can be used agaisnt that person. The accused also tends to have the right of not giving testimony, and if they do give testimony they are not obligated by law to say the truth unlike witnnesses (because, let's be real. Who is going to admit it?)

You can be charged for lying in court, conviction will change depending where you live. However, if nobody (the lawyers, the judges and the jury) decide to let it slide in order to not make a whole new case based in that you lied, you might get away with it, specially if you lied in a detail. (Really, I have seen so many people get away with it.)

Anyone who fears being accused of rape over being raped doesn't know shit and it's a massive red flag. In court you have to prove both that there was "sex" and that it was "forced" as two separate things. Most of the time you can't prove it without scars that match a medical history and proves of violence used against the victim. Most of SA cases never get to court anyway, then proving it is even harder.

Always anwser the question of the lawyer first and then explain. First, because your testimony is being registered so that makes it easy to mark, and second, if you start with the explanation you might loose the focus and not only never answer the question, but it looks af if you are making an excuse.

Most white cisgender straight people, specially man, don't really know what SA is. Most of them will think that doing it while the other person is drunk, to give an ultimatum, to insist until the other will allow in order to be left alone, to scare them into doing it, anything if there wasn't penetration, or even things like groping and catcalling don't count as SA. They do. So most of these people will defend the idea that it wasn't SA because they genuinely don't understand that what they did was SA. Always be explicit and precise with what happened.

Related to the other point, most people, again cis staight men mostly, think that it has to be violent, that one must be forced to submit, and there must be punches for it to be rape. That is not the case, but always be prepared to have to fight off this idea.

Defense lawyers, in my personal experience, tend to be assholes more than any other lawyer. Some will even treat the case as if winning a competition over making justice.

Cases CAN be reopen if a LAWYER asks for it, but most of the time it doesn't work because witnneses refuse to go a second time, specially the victims as it opens wpunds and forces them to live the trauma again, specially with minors.

It can vary in different countries, but most of the time is actually harder to condemn than not. To condemn the judges have to specify what evidence makes the story of ehat happened believable, build up a story/theory of that happened linked to everything exposed and the sentence must be approved by the jury. On the other hand, a "there wan't enough evidence" is enough to absolve. (That is why to reopen the case might lead to setting the accused free in a easier way, since there aren't as many testimonies nor as many evidence as the last time)

Some lawyer of defense, this links from the two previous point, will be assholes for that, to make the work harder for everyone. Witnesses, other lawyers, judges and jury alike, so the evidence and testimonies can't be collected properly.

I will see if later I have anything more to say, but this is all I can recolect for now. Reminder that laws might change depending where you live, always check them and try to be aware of your rights.

[nightmargin]

This is going to be super rambly and probably barely coherent so I apologize about that in advance. I first played One Shot a little bit after the Solstice update came out, and let me tell you, your game was everything I needed at that point in my life. I had no friends at all, and my last friendship was incredibly toxic. It was a very low point in my life and I was pretty much entirely alone and all I really wanted was a friend. Then I played One Shot, and at first the 4th wall breaks spooked me, once I got into the swing of things with Niko it was fun. Niko was the friend I needed at that time. I don’t know how you wrote them so perfectly, it boggles my mind every time I think about it. That ending broke my heart, even the solstice ending because that meant I’d never get to see or talk to Niko again even though it wasn’t real or all that dynamic. I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you for making my favorite game of all time, thank you for writing Niko the way they are. I still consider them one of my best friends, and it breaks my heart they aren’t real. I wish you the best on your future games, I will be buying, and playing all of them.

Thank you for your heartfelt message! I hope you are in a better place now mentally, and I'm glad to have helped in even a small way.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I just randomly found ur blog and am now OBSESSED with the whole avian!mumbo concept

…….tell me everything there needs to be known abt it please I want to draw little bird boy (even tho my main way of doodlin mumbo is vampire but I WANT BIRD)

(apologies for the ramble I live laugh love moustache man)

(here's the previous avian!mumbo post for anyone curious)

It has taken me far too long to get the chance to respond to this ask and I have been so impatient because adjsaklfhaskghjd someone actually saw and enjoyed my unedited babbling about avian!mumbo :')

anyways I think I already said most of what I have coherent ideas on, and the rest is just nebulous vibes and happiness and fluff and hurt/comfort potential, but! I can share doodles and also reiterate/expand upon stuff I have already said

(putting it below a cut so I can make it soso long)

WING FLAPPIES!! I feel like this would definitely be something he'd appreciate about having wings, because I feel like it would be a more satisfying expression of emotion than like. stomping or bouncing or whatever. He would also totally struggle to control his avian body language, you can read his wings/ears/tail like a book, he's so unused to paying attention to and stifling his bird gestures. (Grian finds this beyond hilarious especially, because he can read Mumbo even better than everyone else being another avian)

His wings are red and black, though I haven't entirely decided if I'm gonna switch which goes where to make it match Grian's wings better. Since Grian is a Scarlet Macaw, Mumbo really ought to be too, but that would look just. so goofy. with his color scheme

AND SPEAKING OF LOOKING GOOFY- his wings look so silly for the first couple weeks. Until the feathers grow in properly, they're just kind of gradually more fluffy. raw chicken. wings. stuck to his back. because that's what baby parrots look like apparently! And then also pin feathers, before finally being pretty feathery bird wings

He also just accidentally passively collects the other members of Boatem's clothes. Grian does this too, but intentionally. Mumbo just does it without realizing and then gets confused about it because he doesn't understand the whole nesting thing, so someone else has to explain it to him

Oh and Mumbo tries to just go about his life without any changes or accommodations for his wings at first, because he doesn't want to ruin his clothes or generally have to change his routines. Grian and the others do not put up with this and persuade him to take proper care of the wings instead (<- this is a constant uphill battle for months)

On a more overarching note, Mumbo initially Does Not Like the wings, because they're just tiny and kind of ugly things that get in the way of his elytra and make him have to get all his shirts edited and they don't really do anything but cause him problems. Then once the wings start getting feathers and stuff and they have to start making preparations for learning to fly, it kind of becomes a bit of a bonding thing that brings Boatem together, with Mumbo starting to get used to them and accept them, and everyone else being able to help out with their care some (preening, stretches and exercises...).

Ultimately (probably sometime around HC 9), Mumbo ends up quite loving his wings in the long run. Once they're fully grown they're actually pretty impressive (since he's so tall they end up being a fair bit larger than Grian's, much to his annoyance) and Mumbo ends up putting a fair bit of effort into their upkeep and keeping them all nice looking (at least, when he's not too busy with other projects). He does still find a bunch of the other avian traits a little embarrassing (nesting, chirping, dietary restrictions, wings giving away his thoughts...) but he gets used to them.

[gendercriticalthinking]

hi, agender non-binary person here interested in gender critical feminism! i was wondering what your take was on people being uncomfortable with certain pronouns (he/him, she/her).

how do you feel about they/them pronouns, or neopronouns?

Hello there! I apologize so much for not answering your ask in a timely manner!! Responding to people on social media still makes me a bit anxious and stressed so I usually ignore my notifs even though I really shouldn't haha

Thank you for your question, and for being open to listening to gender critical people!!! It's an important and admirable quality to have, and especially worth praising when you and others have outright been told to not interact with gc people/radfems at any cost! So yes, thank you for that! :)

As for your question (which is a good one!) I originally wrote this very long rambly reply and saved it to my drafts hoping to make it coherent one day. But then recently something happened that made me realize something about human nature in general that directly ties into how gender identities and discomfort/enjoyment of certain pronouns came about:

My brother has always loved nature, especially animals. The reason his favorite color is green is because it's the color of plants: trees, jungles, the places animals live and eat and get to be free in. He's so obsessed with green that seeing something green, anything green, compels him to go " :O !!!! Green!!!"

Because he loves nature and animals so much, he's also a vegetarian. And not just in a "eating animals is bad for the environment" way, but a "it disturbs me on a visceral level to see, smell, or be near meat" way. I have to clean up my bowls and plates that I eat meals that have meat on (I mean, I'd do it anyway because you should pick up after yourself but you get what I mean) because the thought of touching a utensil that once came into contact with meat, even if I ate that meat and it's gone now, carnally disgusts him.

He loves animals, and he wants pets. He'd never ever malnourish a pet just because he has a problem with meat, but it'd be a real emotional challenge for him to feed a carnivore wet meaty food and/or live prey every day. (The token family dog was always fed by our parents or me; he'd be okay if our dog liked dry food but he doesn't lol.)

So I researched the options out there for herbivorous pets, and I found a couple species of lizards (he loves lizards in particular, partially because they're often... green) that eat an exclusively plant-based diet! I showed them to him and he was definitely on board... but alongside the herbivores we found a species of lizard that's a bright, vibrant green and makes a great pet, but they need to eat (preferably live) insects.

He's over the moon about the green insectivore lizards. Once he learned they existed it was over for him. They're all he wants, he's 100% sure. And it's for a lot of other reasons besides the fact that they're green, but... they're green. There are no herbivorous green lizards that make good/easy-to-care-for pets. On some level, he cares more about the green-ness than the vegetarianism.

Why is that?

It's because humans are obsessed with creating symbols to represent ideas. So much so that they often get more attached to the symbol itself than the thing it's supposed to be a reminder of. It's like a self-made Cloth Mother that's built to look like the Wire Mother, but comes with none of the substance or nourishment.

Green represents nature and animals coexisting peacefully to my brother. The emotion the color green instills in him as it reminds him of the things he loves is so powerful it surpasses his enjoyment of the literal thing that the color represents to him.

I'm just using him as an example, but everyone does this. Your favorite childhood shows make you happy because they're nostalgic and reminds you of being a kid first and foremost. They can be well-written and artistic and enjoyable underneath that feeling, but the simpler time they mentally take you back to is what you love about them. Your favorite characters, the "he's just like me fr" ones you read fanfic of, are ones that remind you of yourself and/or ones that you're attracted to. They can also be fun to analyze and have interesting personalities and be great meme fodder, but at the end of the day they represent something to you beyond their objective qualities.

.

So. If we live in a world where women are treated as lesser to men, not fully human, accessories to the actual thinkers, and we use "she/her" to refer to women, is it possible your hatred of hearing those pronouns is because they represent the idea that the person saying them to you sees you as inferior, vapid, incomplex?

If you're in a community where being a female who goes by "they/them" or "it/its" or "he/they" means you get to be who you want to be, who you truly are, enjoying everything life has to offer instead of being restricted to a role someone else made up for you, why wouldn't you like to be called something other than "she"?

When the majority of people who go by "she/her" in your spaces are amab people who constantly, vocally fetishize and dehumanize people with your biological body type (with a few afab people who don't seem to act like you or share your interests sprinkled in) why would anyone as smart and complex and kind to yourself as you ever like being called "she"?

Do you have an innate discomfort with certain pronouns because of dysphoria, or do you hate what the sound of them represents, reminds you of, that they're telling you what other people think of you? Do you enjoy being called certain pronouns because of euphoria, or do you like what the sound of them represents, reminds you of, that they're telling you the people who use them must listen to you and care what you think and support you being who you are?

What's my take on pronouns? They're symbols that represent the type of person you are and want to be. They mean something important. They tell a lot about a person. They're not something to play around with and try out for fun like they're clothes. They're not something you can make up out of thin air and pretend they have no connotations attached to them other than an Aesthetic TM you like.

Nor are they an escape from the problems of the world: the baggage comes with them, I'm afraid. It's a lot easier to change your bio and Discord server role than to change people's minds, especially ones belonging to those who hate you. That doesn't mean it's better or it works, just because it's feasible for you to do.

Whenever you feel a certain way about hearing "she," know that countless other women feel the same way as you. And know that leaving "she/her" behind doesn't mean you've found a cheat code out of being victimized and belittled, you've only left women like you behind instead.

[tryingtimi]

Author Questionnaire Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @tc-doherty, this is going to be fun <3 Apologies in advance because I tend to ramble about random stuff besides the answer when I get personal questions, so it might get long.

About Me

When did you start writing?

If we count the bad horror story we created with my cousin then since I was 6 years old, lol. On and off mostly, though I dreamed about being a writer when I was around 8 or 10, so around 2005. After that I kind of strayed to painting and drawing more, but got back to writing at the age of 16. Then a little gap again, and around 19 I took up writing again and never stopped since (just turned 27 this may, so a while now).

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?

Literary fiction for sure. I wasn't the person who started reading very early, though my family is full of bookworms and always thought me weird when I said I don't like reading. Then, I found the perfect book (The Man With The Golden Touch, a hungarian classic we needed to read for school), read it in one sitting almost, and fell in love eventually. My teenage years books were satires and serious family dramas alongside the heaviest stuff that connected to real life and you could find it on the market. I just realised recently (when I finished a litfic book in two days again, after not reading any for years) that litfic is probably my go to, or palette cleanser if you will. But I wouldn't be able to write in it for the life of me. Otherwise I'm an omnivore genre-wise, reading what gives me inspo for current projects plus trying out every genre I haven't read yet.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Usually I would get compared to an author who's work I'm currently reading, because I'm too naturally absorbing style when I'm invested. Not always, but frequently enough. Once a friend said my writing is a bit Brandon Sanderson-like and that made me happy because he's one of my favourite authors and writing icons. (another gigantic praise would be telling me it reminds them of Fonda Lee’s writing hehe)

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

It's literally anywhere, lol. I live in a very small space (two half rooms), so I have a small desk and an armchair (yes, not an office chair or anything, no it's not comfortable even though you'd think so) where I sometimes write. If I can steal my partner's gaming chair, I use that space, but most times I write on the bed, lying on my stomach and putting something under my chin to keep my head higher lmfao. Also going to cafés if I really can't focus at home or using our foldable bed when it's in sofa shape. Our space is always insanely dusty because of it’s size, so that annoys the hell out of me and makes me incapable of focusing on writing so I can't start working on anything at the desk before I cleaned it thoroughly.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Going through my pinterest boards. I have separate boards for could-be characters, weapons, items, places etc. But it's really rare that I need to find a muse or inspiration. If I can't write it's mostly because of burn out or irl stuff that take up my emotional and creative energy, not the lack of ideas, haha. That, I have way too many.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Yes, definitely. Even when I thought they didn't, I needed to realise they do, very much so. Since then, I try to do it consiously enough. I love realising stuff about real life people or our dynamics and whatnot throughout my writing. Plus learning about places, workings of our world help me build up mine coherently. And I’m a sucker for family dynamics so I put a lot of “Easter eggs” in it that was inspired by my family/ childhood.

Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Giving dead parents to the protagonists count as a theme? Because that is what I noticed once, and suprised me for sure. Since then, they get parents but then the whole story is more like a family drama than anything else. Plus emotionally distant/unavailable parents (especially mothers), finding your place in the world and found family are definitely topics that will appear in all my stories.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

Given that I'm neck deep in Project Sasin, my east asian-inspired urban fantasy mafia story, I could go with all of the main family members. They're all favourites, but if I really need to choose one, then it would be always Grey Fang, who is the head warrior woman of the clan, and the clan leader's right hand. She's a gigantic woman, a true amazon, bestest fighter of the clan, and great at managing the lower ranked warriors. She's blunt, confident, charistmatic and always have a harsh but helpful advice for the main kids. Most of the clan look up at her (not only because she's 190 cm), admire her skill and recite her achivements, and even the enemy clans whisper her name a bit warily. For the main kids though, she's also a fun aunt. As much as she is serious, and can be outright dangerous, she is easy to deal with if you're not acting too shy around her (she believes being shy is always either poor parenting, or a straight up act to gain something, therefore not honest and trustworthy), or breaking any tradition openly. As the clan, she is very fond of traditions and the way of life their ansestors have lived for hundreds of years, but she can be convinced that development is necessary, if someone is determined enough or a master at persuasion. Her first and foremost goal in life is to preserve the clan's good reputation, and prevent corruption or downfall – at all costs. Therefore she would break traditions, or go behind anyone's back if that would achieve it.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Not many lol. Most characters I write are fun to work with and explore but mostly because I wouldn't even go near them irl. I think I would be on friends term with Kil, the main borther who wants to be like Fang, and maybe Yune who's a fairly anxious and talented healer with little confidence yet. Plus, Fang herself, obviously. But both Kil and Fang are extroverted like hell so they would adopt my introverted ass, which I don't kow if counts. I have other works where are some characters I could be truly friends with (Avelyn from Metalsea for example but she's a similar category like Yune). I could probabyl go to those lengths only with my fellow introverted characters whom are the MC's usually, but not the majority of the characters lol.

Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?

Every living mother, uh. It sounds horrible, but it's true. All the mothers who were likeable or fair at being mothers are dead in my stories. Plus most of the men too, maybe. I have a sci-fi story where the MC (Dane) is a scientist with a very ambitious but definitely arrogant and sharp tongue, whom I would probably hate if I met him. (Though it takes a lot for me to truly dislike or hate someone.)

Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.

I usually come up with one key visual trait for them lol. I kind of go backwards, because I first figure out how they look, and vaguely know why they look like that, then create their personality, their story, the world. My mind craves visualisation, therefore I revolve my characters' personalites around visible marks of their experiences.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

What would be a recurring theme is that they’re emotionally closed up most of the time. There’s also hidden but constant anger inside them. Not many likes to talk about themselves and if something is too personal they just shut down and either go away, or stay silent until the conversation strays to somewhere else. There are also the very open, very easy but dangerous and madly loyal person too who is there for these previously mentioned ones. I also tend to give a dynamic to love intrests that is the "silent understanding" type. They just know each other enough, I guess.

How do you picture your characters?

Fairly clearly. I need visuals to keep working on my stories, so that's why I have so many stuff on my pinterest. Also sometimes I try to draw them, paint them, but I don't have the skill YET to completely bring them to life. But I will one day.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

I just love it. I can't picture myself not writing, and I also recently realised that how all my mental health and overall life improved since I accepted that this is what I need to and will always do.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Look, I'm already owing you my life if you've read anything I've written. I'm very grateful and happy from that simple thing. Though, keysmashes and caps shouts are one of the bests, and if someone throws a little analysis or theory of why the character does, says what they did my way, then I'll propose them on the spot. That's a rare one, but a treasure for me for sure.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

I don't want to, lol. Please don't keep me on the same page as my work, because as much as my heart is in it, it's still my work, my baby, but not my life or personality. It has it's own value without me, and it should be.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Creating atmosphere and showing emotions. Since my ideas are very vague and mostly feelings during my process, I think these also intangible concepts I can thrive in. I can't tell you a city's political standing but I can tell you how it smells, tastes, sounds, how your dreams will change if you move there, how people swear and look at you, and how it feels to have a bad and a good day there.

What have you been frequently told by others is your greatest strength as a writer?

I got more than a few times now that I write fight scenes well, haha. They said it's exciting and well paced. I'm glad because I love them (big martial arts enthusiast here), but also friends said that I can create atmosphere well too. What stayed with me was when they said that they felt like they were at that place I wrote about.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Depending on the day. I'm my bigget critique too, as I imagine all of us, so when my mood is a bit low, I feel that it's gods awful. Sometimes it is, and that's okay. But most of the time (especially recently) I really like the results. I write what I want to read, after all.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Without question. As I mentioned before, it's just something I'm not able to abandon. Probably because I'm bad at articulating my feelings and thoughts so writing is just essential for me to communicate, even if only with myself. Personally, though, without anyone reading it, it would be so much easier to be honest, lol.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Tricky question for a recovering-people-pleaser. Recovering because I grew a lot the last two years thanks to some bad but valuable experiences, so I was way worse earlier in my life. I got back to writing by writing fanfiction for a friend because she ran out of the stuff she liked, so I offered to create stories tailored especially for her taste. And as more people started reading my stories (because of course I shared them after a while), I tried to appease for the most enthusiastic readers to show my immense gratitude. External validation is a dangerous thing for me, so yes, if someone seems to enjoy my work very much, I will unintentionally go directions that they seem to enjoy. However, readers are readers, they are not entitled to finish a story or like it, so they disappear at some point (which is fine), so when there was no one left reading my stuff, I learnt to continue for myself instead. That's why I'm less and less online, or sharing specifics about my writing, because I want to write purely what I enjoy. Be a tiny bit more private with it. So now, I'd say I do that, but external validation is a bitch that will hold on to you with tooth and nail, so I will probably still go directions people enjoy if I get any input. But I'll manage it better, because now I can catch myself before I form a fully different story just for others.

Tagging @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @the-void-writes, @aninkwellofnectar, @dyrewrites, @aalinaaaaaa, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @bebewrites, @barbex, @circa-specturgia, @odysseywritings, @italiangothicwriteblr,

No pressure, though I love these questionnaires so would love to see anyone's and everyone's.

[sun-lit-roses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @curator-on-ao3 and @emonydeborah! I apologize for how long it's taken me to respond 💛

I'm so late to this, I have no idea who's already done it. If you haven't yet, please, please consider yourself tagged - and tag me in your response so that I can read your answers! (Actually if you have done it already, also link me so I can read your answers. These are fun questions with bonus fic recs so I'd like to see them all!)

Anyway, I got a little rambly, so I'll put in a cut to not murder anyone's dash 😁

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 82.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 397,560.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've been primarily writing Star Trek (Strange New Worlds and Voyager) lately, with a dash of The Librarians and Leverage.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fringe Benefits (SNW) - My beloved monument to ridiculousness where I approach the totally canon subject of Chris Pike's horse skills via Number One's hair.

October 2373 (Voyager)- My magnum opus! The one time I've managed to achieve completion of an October prompt list - five of them. In one coherent (ish) fic. Granted, it did take me until December... but the point is that I finished it! It follows a very eventful and occasionally random month aboard the Starship Voyager, where they have to deal with imprisonment, alien attacks, diplomatic meetings, and Kathryn's inability to talk about her feelings.

For the Captain Who Has Everything: A Prixin Story (Voyager) - Look. You can't just give me three delightful misfits for ONLY ONE EPISODE and not expect me to adopt them as my own. SO this is what happened next for the little Good Shepherd flock, where 'what happened next' is shenanigans to set up their Captain with her First Officer as a gesture of gratitude.

Growing Pains (SNW) - Aw, one of my early Chris and Una fics! This is one of the set I wrote while the first season was just airing weekly - hard to believe that was almost two years ago 😲 This one was the aftermath of Una 'I'm just fine-ing' her way into emergency surgery and Chris letting her know that there were things up with which he would not put - top of the list being losing his Number One.

Command Advice (SNW) - Another of the early SNW set! This was my 'spicier' take on the resulting conversation between Chris and Una after she learns about her Where Fun Goes to Die nickname. In one version, they have a very serious conversation about Starfleet principles. In *this* version, they're less serious. Also naked.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! Or at least I try. I love and cherish every comment, but I tend to run (very) behind on responding and have to play the game of 'is it weird to reply to a comment this late?'

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My very first fic ever! Actually I think it might be my only fic with an angsty ending. I guess I got it all out of my system early. That one is Wednesday, a Sanctuary fic where Helen has a very sad day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Literally everything else. I can't even pick out of my collection of sappiness.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, there's very little I would not be willing to at least try writing! Up to now I think I've written at least mildly smutty M/F, F/F, and F/M/M sexcapades and/or BDSM. I'm working my way around to some F/F/M for SNW if I could get the three of them to cooperate.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think I've only written one crossover and it was for SNW/The Librarians, bringing about a meeting between Eve Baird and Una Chin-Riley, which we would have in a fair and just universe.

Wait, I take that back! I also had a little snippet on Tumblr where Hawkeye, BJ, Jonathan, and Ardeth meet up, because The Mummy/MASH is... certainly a combo. Actually, I think I also had a snippet of Gomez Addams meeting Hawkeye and BJ? What is it about MASH?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of? The Discord crowdsourced the plot to a ridiculously hilarious fic and I wrote a bit of it for fun, but I'm not sure if that counts? Co-writing does sound like a good time, though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Voyager! The happiest little ship in the Delta Quadrant 🚀

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a lot of bits and pieces on my hard drive that will never be finished and released into the Ao3 wilds - the plot didn't work out/was barely a plot, I've moved on from the fandom, I was trapped in a fever dream of my nieces playing Frozen on repeat, blacked out, and woke up to 3 chapters dealing with the socio-political ramifications of Elsa decamping and Anna appointing the prince of another land in charge rather than Arendelle's Privy Council. Anyway.

The WIPs I have posted, though, I fully intend to finish at some point! It may take a while and it might not be my original planned ending, but they haunt me. So one day I will have to put them to rest. Possibly with a 2x4, tarp, and shovel.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty good at getting into the character's voice. I hope so, at least; I spend a lot of time on it! Also, humor, although that one is objective, of course.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Commas. Clearly.

Structurally, it varies per fic, but I have a habit of running thin on plot. I start strong at A, want to get to B, but the middle gets kind of wander-y. This also leads to me sometimes stalling mid-project if I get distracted or pulled away - hence my current three WIPs. Though it doesn't help that the past six months have sucked on letting me have much free time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it was short, easy dialogue in Spanish or French I might be able to swing it. Otherwise, I would need to phone a friend.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Sanctuary!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a hard one. I love them all for different reasons, some of which have more to do with the time I was writing them than with the actual contents. Reluctance was my first multi-chapter fic ever back in the FFN days, so that seems like a pretty good candidate. I learned so much while writing that fic!

[yesterdayiwrote]

I really want the thesis on George mirroring people if you’re so inclined 👀

So I also got this anon and the two things are kind of tied together...

i would absolutely read your essay about how george doesn't know how to be himself because i also have so many thoughts about his personality that i'm too scared to voice for a fear of people saying that i'm making assumptions😶😶😶

I will try my best, but I am absolutely dreadful at putting my rambly observations/overanalysis/bug under a microscope theories into coherent prose sometime so apologies in advance this tails off or gets a bit muddled!

I think it's quite obvious that George it's a bit... socially awkward? He's confident in an oratory way, he seems quite chatty and social, he's not shy about his body and showing it off, and yet there's just an undeniable 'awkwardness' to him that it’s hard to put into words?

It’s always said by people that George is too ‘PR’ and I think he really does try hard? Possibly too hard sometimes because it seems so noticeable that he’s trying, but I don’t think it’s because of any nefarious reason, I feel like he’s just really kind of… self conscious?

I think there’s a tendency for people to view self consciousness through a lens of vanity and pre-occupation with perfection but actually a lot of the time it’s a confidence issue too and I’ve just always got a feeling that despite appearances, George isn’t always the most confident in himself and doesn’t know how (or perhaps want to) let down his walls completely and just be his full unguarded self in public.

I think we see flashes of it at times, and I think all of them are wary of being fully open in public, and yet George always feels the one to me who is perhaps most worried about being ‘silly’?

Which is where the mirroring thing comes in. Sometimes I feel that in his quest to present a ‘version’ of himself, he almost strays into emulating other people at times? (This is where it gets all deep and if you’re not into the bug under a microscope stuff you may want to jump off here)

I feel sometimes (and I may be way off here) that George still isn’t quite sure who he is yet or how he wants to be seen. No criticism because I think that’s totally normal. He’s still young, there’s more pressure to be a character of some kind of substance in the public eye, and I think plenty of people much older than him still don’t entirely know who they are, who they want to be or how they want the world to perceive them.

So, I think sometimes he kind of emulates people around him, which again isn’t unusual, I think we all do it. I think it’s part of how most of us find ourselves, and I’m totally willing to admit it may be me drawing parallels where they weren’t necessarily intended. It may be that he does these things completely subconsciously but idk I still just find it all fascinating?

He went through a brief streamer phase just after lockdown which felt like it was kind of leaning in to what Lando was doing. It gets picked up that Daniel bops along to the National Anthems and now George bops along to them too. Lewis posts a thirst trap… George posts a thirst trap. He hangs out with Jack Grealish once and within two months he’s got his hair style (sans chunky highlights which is an OVERSIGHT tbh)…. - okay that one may be a reach but I’m struggling to think of more examples off the off the top of my head 😂.

As I say, I don’t say it as anything bad and actually I think it is subconsciously part of human nature but it just makes me giggle because it feels like he has such… hero worship of people around him and idk… it’s cute?!

[goldenspecter]

Did the ask about the whole Leo being above and manipulative not go through? I'm not pressuring you or anything it's just that sometimes I get anxious if people don't give me some kind of responds to an ask such I'm not answering this types and what not it's completely fine if you don't of course also I'm talking about the ask that was made about the 2007 fight post about Leo and raph fighting constantly here's some of what your wrote in case you don't rember the post it's kind of old

your post: Once again, I am wishing Rise fans can praise the movie without insulting/demeaning other iterations of TMNT. It's absolutely frustrating, as a fan of all the iterations plus Rise, constantly seeing people go "Rise did the Raph/Leo fight better than other where it's not just "Who's a better Leader/Leader" fights!" when not that's not the case. Rise didn't do it 'better' than the others, they just made it much more explicit, without using leadership as the framing of the fight, but the other iterations are not actually fighting about Leadership.

again sorry if this comes off as peer pressuring I'm just trying make it clear what post I'm talking about so were both on the same wave length again I apologize if this is annoying.

Hi anon!

Yes your ask did get through, the only reason I didn't answer quite immediately was due to me not really being on Tumblr this past week. I saw your ask and was intrigued because it's a BIG /pos question, I had to ramble to my partners @dakotafinely and @namiikilo about this, and share my thoughts with them about what you asked first.

I also wanted to present my answer in a way that makes sense, hence why it took me so long. So don't worry about pressuring me, I just wanted to take time and make sure I could convey my point in a coherent manner. Sorry about causing the anxiety /gen

This is the original ask:

Since the way you worded your ask leans more towards Bayverse Leo from how you included certain actions only he does, I have to compare him to 07 Leo to make my point. Here are my thoughts, as coherent I can make them:

The Short Answer: I think Bayverse Leo, as a whole, was an attempt by the writers to expand upon 07 Leo's characterization, but fundamentally misunderstood what made 07 Leo so infuriatingly perfect.

The Long Answer(buckle up):

07 Leo is, at his core, a natural evolution of how Leo would have matured as an adult Pre-Rise. Perfectionism and having such a high standard on himself of all people combined with the knowledge of him being so good at what he does, would heightened his arrogance and beliefs in his own skills.

This is how it was/is before he took the journey, across the world that kept him separated from his brothers for over a year. Leo has been expected to be perfect for so long there would only be a matter of time before that expectation jades him, that he would become a bit of an asshole who wrongly believes he doesn't need to lower himself to anyone's standards because he is the standard.

*I discuss things that are mentioned in the prequel comics, specifically the issue that discuss and expands upon Leo's Journey. So I'll include screenshots from the wikia that explain the events in that.

** I also own these 5 prequel comics!

However, since he went on the trip by himself, and with none of his brothers, especially Raphael, to keep him in check, his ego and sense of self got warped, and especially with the things he's gone through on his journey. He learned all of these things from his journey but never actually put them in use towards his own family in several different ways:

Leo lacks compassion when it comes to his brothers and why they took on their jobs and new roles and scoffs at April when she's explains to him what they do. He lacks the compassion to inquire with his brothers and the way they were all hurting-- Mikey feeling like his family isn't whole anymore, hence his nostalgia for the good days, Donnie having to care for their arguably disabled father while also working an at home job, Raph having the trauma of witnessing an former vigilante who seemed to understand him die in front of him, and that being how he got the Nightwatcher armor we see in the movie(Promise he would take it because David, the vigilante, didn't want anyone in his family/police to figure out who he really was.) Compare this to Bayverse Leo, who audibly and explicitly hears and knows how his actions harm his family, but chooses not to engage with it and dismiss their feelings.

Leo lacks humility and refuses to understand his brothers as they've changed. Because of that, he refuses to try and understand his brothers as the people they are now.

07 Leo is extremely selfish and shortsighted because of how he constantly frames the journey he went on was for them, to better himself for them.

He lacks the courage having the courage to even consider how badly they were effected by him going on this journey.

He most importantly lacks community that he continually estranged himself from

Each one of these things that's bolded or italicized is a trait that he was supposed to have learned and fully understood on his journey.

In my eyes, the things that makes 07 Leo stand out from Bayverse is more so how all of these external components worsened his fractured development. Bayverse, in a way, engineered those components that fractured his development.

07 Leo has never actively gone out of his way to revoke or invalidate his family's autonomy, right in front of them compared to Bayverse(who as a reminder forced Donnie to lie to his brothers about the possibility to be human and got on Raph when he called him out for revoking their autonomy to make a choice at the chance of gaining privilege where they are currently systemically disadvantaged), but does it in the way that can be perceived as him doing what is best for his family. Examples being him not wanting to admit or entertain the idea that the night watcher is going good or that his own family made the choice to idolize the vigilant on their own—he believes that night watched is encroaching on his territory and also being a bad influence to his brothers, primarily Raph and Mikey and fights to stop Nightwatcher from being a bad influence on the two and the fact that Leo perceived his own methods to be effective, combined with his own hypocritical view of Nightwatcher—or him attributing fault to everywhere else but 07 Leo potentially being part of the problem as well.

However, you can possibly argue that because the world has jaded him so hard and he has forgotten the point of community, the world had literally made him hate humans on his training journey. It eroded him of certain things that by the time he gets back home, he just doesn't have that compassion he supposedly learned on his training and doesn't learn to dig within himself to practice empathy to his brothers and doesn't bother seeing them as who they are now, he literally scoffs at the idea of who they have become when April tells him and expects them to fall inline as perfect soldiers and obey orders, to erase what made them them, doing unto them as what has been done to him.

In addition, along with him being a pretty perfect development for a character like Leo, pre-rise,he has been expected to be perfect for so long there would only be a matter of time before that expectation jades him, that he would become a bit of an asshole who wrongly believes he doesn't need to lower himself to anyone's standards because he is the standard.

Leo's and his family's arc in the 2007 movie is about growing up and fixing a broken family caused by abandonment from pretty much all angles, Bayverse Leo is the one who's the agent and inevitable cause of abandonment nor is he mired by the tenets of nostalgia among him and his family either and the unwillingness to grow up and mature.

Could this be more coherent? Absolutely, maybe in the future I'll make a video essay giving a full retrospective on the 2007 movie and especially with the frustrating yet beloved nuance of 07 Leo's character.

Either way! Hope you enjoyed hearing my (still somewhat disjointed) thoughts! <3

[fantasticharmonymiracle]

Let me say that I have infinite respect for @thelastaerie for providing us with a ton of fantastic and masterfully written fics about Kay and Marc's love story, truly. However, the entire fandom needs to be true with themselves and realise that if Freier Fall was irl Kay would never, EVER even consider getting back with Marc.

Let me elaborate:

Marc was definitely in love with Kay especially towards the end of the film but that doesn't mean he loved him because he never made the effort, as we know, and never saw Kay as his first choice. He technically was Plan B in case Bettina, which she did, didn't take him back. As romantic as we want to paint it, it doesn't put a good foundation for yet another toxic fling almost fifteen years after.

Also, very problematic is the fact that Kay pursued Marc in a questionable way like in the woods. I didn't hear any consent being given for that hand job or whatever happened (haven't seen the film in a while) and also, Kay clearly saw that Marc was basically married and with a baby on the way. It's not ethical at all to go after a taken man, regardless of the fact that you think he's a closeted gay man and you feel the itching urge to play the saviour angel and drag him out of the closet. I feel like both of them would realise it was certainly a heated time of their life but also not the best to jump back into and bring back chaos into their existence.

Bettina, she's a boss BUT that shower scene I cannot stand to watch, it feels way too violent and if a sequel happens I'm not sure how they should deal with the whole co-parenting deal without addressing that bit.

On top of this all, they may be both men but the punches they threw at each other are not acceptable whatsoever irl. It's not sexy nor a sign of true love. It's plain violence and a cheap substitute for grown-up talk. I get it, in films one has to emphasize emotions to draw the audience in but if I was Kay and I had Marc beg me to get back together... Like fuck I would after that and after I was literally thrown under the bus to save his sorry ass.

In terms of character as well, Kay comes across as a weirdly crafted excuse to drag the plot cause a wannabe cop smoking weed and taking ecstasy is surely "attractive" on camera but doesn't make sense in the real world. Why would you pick police as your career choice? Conquering the enemy from the inside is surely not gonna last that long, innit? This being said, considering the wild nature of Kay I doubt he'd fit well with Marc, even after his potential development and acquired emotional intelligence. I see older Kay as an accomplished something in whichever field having the time of his life in Berlin, or just a deranged junkie somewhere in Germany. Certainly, if we go with option 1, not one that would lower his standards for Marc, still. He wouldn't slow down for him again after being treated like shit.

Irl Marc would probably see the experience as an awakening but it wouldn't do a 180 on him, he'd still be the Stuttgart cop who now admits to himself he likes blokes OR would have a massive identity crisis, drop out of police and have a very hard time for the next 10/15 years, still not good unless we want a Trainspotting kinda love story (meaning the hopeless, scum of the earth vibes).

To end this rambling, not a good match but good entertainment. Certainly magical to read fiction about them because they allow so much freedom for the imagination.

Ps. @thelastaerie PLEASE do a fiction inspired by their other films together (wink wink that military one I can't watch because ffs I don't speak German -yet)

Apologies if this post is utter shite, I'm in the back of a moving car about to chunder and can't put my thoughts into coherent sentences. The main idea is somewhere round here.