#my autism flared up again

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

You’re enabling me 😘

I rambled about it in the tags of the Vespiquen post I reblogged earlier but I really wish Vespiquen was better. I know it’s foolish to want each Pokémon to have a unique niche and function and everything, but Vespiquen has such a cool design I think she deserves better. They apparently cared enough to give Vespiquen 3 unique signature moves that literally only Vespiquen can learn which thematically play off of her gimmick of being the queen bee with a swarm of Combes. In actuality her signature moves don’t really get to have their potential realized and frankly don’t do anything particularly interesting with her concept, but they still make Vespiquen one of the pokemon with the most unique signature moves. (Also they cared enough to create a unique item that is generated by Vespiquen when she Dynamaxes in Sword and Shield, not super relevant but worth pointing out that Vespiquen has some unique things going for her).

Anyway, her signature attack, Attack Order, is an extremely solid 90 power 100% accuracy physical bug move with high crit chance, it’s not particularly exciting as it’s just a slightly better version of X-Scissor but it is quite good and frankly if other bug pokemon could learn it there are quite a few who would enjoy it (it would still have to compete with Leech Life but it’d be an option). Vespiquen is a Pokémon with respectable stats, 70 base HP, 102 base Def and Sp. Def, base 80 Atk and Sp. Atk, and an underwhelming 40 speed. With tied Atk and Sp. Atk, Vespiquen could go for a physical or special attack moveset, and despite Vespiquen’s signature attack being physical, I’d argue her move pool has better special attack options, although her inability to use Quiver Dance despite seemingly like exactly the type of Pokémon that learns Quiver Dance is unfortunate as it would really boost the potential of a special Vespiquen set. On paper her stats are quite solid and should give a Pokémon respectable bulk and alright attack stats, but because Vespiquen is a Bug/Flying type with 2x weaknesses to Fire, Ice, Electric, Flying, and a miserable 4x weakness to Rock that causes her to get set to half health from stealth rocks alone, Vespiquen’s solid-on-paper bulk doesn’t really hold up in practice, and her slow speed and mediocre attack stats prevent her from playing a sweeper role. I’m saying all this to get across that Vespiquen is very likely to take hits that she can’t survive because of just how many weaknesses she has, this unfortunately makes her other two unique moves significantly less useable. Defend Order increases both defensive stats by one stage, it’s not bad by any means and would probably be very powerful on the right pokemon, but on Vespiquen it’s unlikely to make a difference when a 4x damage rock slide is coming your way. Vespiquen’s final unique move is Heal Order, which restores 50% of her hp, a really good move if it was on a Pokémon that could take multiple hits, but as I’ve tried to explain, Vespiquen realistically is not one of those Pokémon. What’s even worse about Heal Order is that, in Vespiquen’s debut generation Gen 4, there is a TM for Roost that Vespiquen can learn. So while a lot of flying types dislike losing their ground immunity when using roost, Vespiquen would gladly trade it for temporarily removing several weaknesses, meaning that Vespiquen’s signature healing move is, in most cases, worse for her than the other recovery move she can learn. If by some miracle you are able to get Vespiquen in against Pokémon that don’t have coverage for any of the common types she’s weak to, and you’re actually able to set up a turn or two of defense order followed by heal order healing, Vespiquen could probably be useful, but even then you probably wouldn’t want to use one of her remaining move slots on Attack Order since it’s not going to do much because with a mediocre attack stat on a slow Pokémon you probably had to invest in defensively just to get to survive up until this point. What’s most disappointing to me is Vespiquen’s abilities. I would think a Pokémon whose entire gimmick is about having combee swarming around her and doing her bidding with her literally being the beehive would maybe have something interesting as an ability, but unfortunately she only gets Pressure and Unnerve, both of which are useless in most battles.

Whenever I think about Pokémon like Vespiquen that have lots of problems preventing them from reaching their full potential, I try and thinking what ways you could fix them. The immediate obvious answer would be to change her type, even something as uninteresting and common as bug/poison would be a significant improvement in terms of weaknesses (at the cost of STAB Acrobatics and Air Slash I guess). Another approach could be improving her move pool, I don’t think letting Vespiquen learn Quiver Dance would necessarily do much for her, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt. The methods I think would be the most interesting of making Vespiquen and her unique signature moves more usable would be to change/buff the moves significantly or give her a real ability. Given Vespiquen’s unique design I personally think she deserves a unique ability themed around her design gimmick gmaybe something like “in double/triple battles, moves targeting Vespiquen are redirected to her Bug-type allies”), but even just something thematically appropriate like Tsareena’s Queenly Majesty would be a massive improvement over “your opponent uses more PP per move” and “your opponent can’t eat berries”. As for the moves, maybe they could do the kind of combining two existing moves thing that they’ve been doing lately and add the Infestation effect to Attack Order, or change Defend Order to reduce damage dealt by super effective attacks to her team sort of like a light screen. Really I just want a Pokémon as cool as Vespiquen that has 3 entire unique moves to be a functional Pokémon that actually has some sort of reason to pick and use said unique moves

And don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that Vespiquen’s signature moves are actually quite good compared to other Pokémon whose signature moves are lacking. It’s hard to complain about a really solid attack, a boost to both defenses, and a basic 50% heal when some Pokémon get slaps in the face like Octozooka, but knowing that doesn’t make Vespiquen’s moves actually any good

[bat-luun]

br'aaxi (featuring an overprotective sylnan) because i miss them

[poniko-w]

⚠️GETTING AUTISTIC ALERT⚠️

one of my absolute favorite things abt mo4 is understanding just how terrible a lot of the main cast is.. i've changed fukurou and morikaze to be more normal in my mind for my own comfort (as someone still recovering from trauma), but am still heavily critical of their characters as i am with every other main numa!! i love discussing the intricacies of the mo4 cast without defending any of their actions, and i really dislike when people mischaracterize them and refuse to accept canon for what it is.. no guys bachikin was not a girlboss girlqueen she was a war criminal & an awful person & part of her character is the fact that she is trying to fix what she did!! holding her accountable is part of the story im afraid, you cant fake-feminism your way out of this one💔 when you remove the bad parts of a character meant to be a bad person u are left with a very bland & uninteresting character. learn to love a character despite the shit that makes them a bad person while still holding them accountable it. i love talking about the mo4 characters who wants to let me ramble about the mo4 characters to them

[moe-broey]

AAAÀAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHHGBGHGHGGHGGHGGHVHHBHHHGAHHABH

[fwhimmys]

one month into college n i'm already considering dropping out <3

[galedekarios]

I’m sorry if you’re over talking about the whole gale situation with larian but I just want to say that I’m so glad people are defending his character. I relate to gale on certain personal aspects and I really find it disheartening that the writers seem to dismiss his character and the impact he has on people. I wish that maybe the writers looked at Gale the way you and others do, he’s such important representation to those who have escaped toxic relationships and those who have autism. This may be super ridiculous but I really just wanted to extend my gratitude for the defense of his character coming from someone who deeply relates to Gale.

never feel bad about venting in my inbox about this and while i'm trying to not let it ruin the game entirely for me because i still enjoy the characters for themselves, the ocs i've seen and my own ocs too much, i will also never be over the behaviour they've shown in this interview and the message they sent here, intentional or not.

i hear you and i completely feel you on every front.

you're not the first to message me about this. i've answered a few, some i haven't gotten around to yet, and it just makes me feel sad, disheartened and frustrated for everyone.

to see a character and his struggles that a lot of people identify with for a multitude of different personal reasons (be it chronic illness and pain flare-ups, be it depression or suicidal ideation, be it self-isolation from loved ones, be it autism or autistic traits, be it lifted up and gifted in childhood and feeling burnt out or discarded later on, etc.) be entirely dismissed and reduced to being "annoying", him reaching out for help being ridiculed to "eating your most priced possessions" and having to "give back" to "the world".

it would have cost them nothing, absolutely nothing, to talk about his character and his struggles with an ounce of empathy. with an ounce of respect. the same empathy and respect they've extended to all other of their creations and their underlying themes in this interview. keeping in mind that these people are industry veterans and professionals, too.

so thank you for your message and again, never feel bad about wanting to be heard.

[meanscarletdeceiver]

Hmm… have I asked for Thomas and Henry, or just thought about it hard a couple of times? XD;;

Ooh, a fun pair. 

“You’re too fat, you need exercise! 😤” 

“Oh, I can’t wait for dawdling tank engines like you; good-bye! 😇”

“Run my train on time for one thing 😡” 

“You’re the only danger on the rails, Thomas 🙄” 

‘Oh, I guess you can go to York… some of us are still too useful to become museum-pieces… 👿’ (paraphrasing Henry’s copium here) 

All right, maybe it’s more “fun” like the one in “dysfunctional.” But still! 

The thing about this is that it’s a “minor” relationship in that, for most of their lives, they’re in each other’s periphery. Then again, they’ve been in each other’s lives sooooo long. So it’s a very sibling-y sort of relationship. They’ve been on different life paths as long as they can remember… but ohh, the embarrassing shit they remember about each other…

Birds’-Eye View 

This relationship has an eternal tug-of-war quality.

Of course, Thomas by instinct plays tug-of-war with all the “big engines”! This is who he is! 

But the relationship with Henry is different because there’s a sort of long-term… equality? Like, with Thomas and Gordon, like, Thomas is cheeky, but the one time he ever got really out-of-line with Gordon (i.e. THOMAS’ FIRST APPEARANCE?) Gordon pretty much put him in his place, and overall the whole point of their relationship is that Thomas acknowledges Gordon’s superiority in at least certain key points, it’s precisely WHY he likes to measure himself against him! (I’m thinking a lot here of many, many TVS-only incidents… but even in RWS there’s “Hurry hurry hurry,” he puffed, pretending to be like Gordon.) Thomas can’t look upon Henry the same way, for “Henry I”-related reasons not least of all (see section below). But with Gordon, the whole fun of the relationship for Thomas is to tease him in a way that only works if Gordon is on a pedestal. Thomas doesn’t try to knock him off… he just likes to shake things up, freak Gordon out, then do a campy little victory dance and make his exit with a shit-eating grin. 

Then there’s Thomas and James, and in RWS… post-strike, James is never again seen to give Thomas any shit for being a tank engine? (Actual gold star, I can’t believe we’ve found an avenue of insult that even RWS!James has left untrod.) So a key feature of his tension with Gordon and Henry is, apparently, removed. Of course they do clash, if you go by TVS they clash a LOT. But in this relationship Thomas kind of has the upper hand, when you take the long view. (Thomas is more famous and favored, and James just gets so consistently shut down by the whole universe the moment he tries any shit. Plus, their foundational moment was Thomas getting him cleaned up after his first Sodor accident, and I think that colours the relationship forever – even after James is no longer prepared to just take Thomas’s patronizing airs (“Hullo James! Feeling better? That’s right! Oh, I must go, I don’t know what the Fat Controller etc. etc…” Betcha James shut down that shit before too much longer, lol.)

If Gordon has the dominant role in that relationship, and if Thomas has the dominant role in the one with James… then the fun thing about Thomas and Henry is that the scale never permanently settles one way or another. Whenever they have a lil’ flare-up, they feel like they’re on equal footing, and perhaps that’s why the barbs they trade feel ‘specially vicious! The field is wide open, no one comes in with the advantage, and they are both in it to WIN it!

But why are they like this? 

Early Years 

The thing I envision about their early acquaintance is the mutual bafflement. It’s a similar vibe to the one hilariously (and accurately) depicted here with Thomas and Gordon, except it’s not about different autisms, and it’s less confusion and dislike and more confusion and annoyance. 

My headcanon for Henry is that Thomas was the first time he set eyes on a tank engine. So his initial reaction is like “what is this deformed… creature? (and why is he so mouthy?) (and what does he do here?) (what is ‘shunting’? oh nvm it’s not like i’ll ever need to know, i’m a proper engine)” Even if my headcanon is discarded, however, Thomas sure is Himself and the sheer force of his fussy, self-important Main Character Energy would have had a similar effect on young Henry, fresh from the shop and still dazzled by the wide world. 

Thomas, though he has a fair bit more worldly experience under his boiler bands, still isn’t nearly as worldly as he thinks he is! — and he finds Henry just as baffling as Henry does him. Henry’s not like any other engine he’s ever met. He’s the biggest for one thing. He’s also far and away the un-reliable-est. I accentuate this in QLIR because part of the “scam” is that Henry is presented to Hatt as, not perhaps the engine he envisioned, but still an engine with some on-the-job experience. Total lies, of course. Far from “hitting the ground running,” Henry is a babe in the woods, constantly stumbling and fumbling his way around the rails. He knows nothing of railway operations, yard etiquette, or shed culture. Someone like Edward can take this in stride and just be like, All right, new chap needs a little extra looking after. It’s just a thing. No biggie. (Topham Hatt of course is in his office spitting nails, but this ain’t about him.) Thomas, however, is at just that childish stage where a) he knows all this stuff and b) he can’t fathom anyone not knowing it. So he’s constantly having the reaction of “What is he doing???” And, since he has no filter, drawing everyone’s attention to New Guy’s odd behaviors, every time (which does nothing to help Henry build confidence!) 

(Then again, of course, sometimes New Guy legitimately does some very strange stuff – Once an engine attached to a train/Was afraid of a few drops of rain… That, erm. That Doesn’t Help.) 

Then you add on Henry’s… mis-build, and Thomas’s befuddlement is cemented. He’s a cast-off on the Island Railway of Cast-Offs, of course, so the idea of mechanical issues aren’t new, but Henry’s are at a whole new level and they regularly disable him. Thomas is definitely 100% on board with the idea that you can manage to at least finish any job if you just try hard enough… and certainly you can at least get out of the shed in the mornings, yeah? Henry is the first time he encounters an engine for whom this just isn’t true. Same childish point of view: Henry is weird. 

Again, I cannot emphasize that “Henry is weird” is an attitude coming from Thomas… who in his own unique way is one of the weirdest little engines ever built (affectionate). 

None of this amounts, on either side, to anything like hatred. Annoyance on both sides, to be sure, but even then I don’t think it’s their dominant attitude towards each other. We see in “Thomas’ Train” that Thomas is… intrigued by the potential of his getting to fulfill his long-term Train-Taking Goals. But he doesn’t gloat over Henry’s misfortune, and I think TVS was so correct in giving him a worried face mask even as he slowly goes off to get the train ready… He can’t even be properly excited until he’s out of Henry’s vicinity, and, mind you, Henry’s too ill to be intimidating just then – Thomas refrains only because he really does feel bad for Henry, and doesn’t want him to feel worse! 

We also have, later in the same story, Thomas thinking “Henry says it’s hard to pull trains, but…” So, you know, they’ve talked before. (At minimum, Thomas has listened to Henry fretting to other big engines!) Henry is a real person for him, so to speak, by now a consistent presence in his life. 

As they settle in to their early-canon dynamic, I reckon it’s now characterised by mutual envy. Thomas would LOVE to take trains regularly like Henry – and can’t fully comprehend why Henry treats it like a burden! Like, he knows Henry gets ill, but at a gut level I don’t think Thomas could truly “get it,” because there’s nothing more he wants in the world than to have what Henry has!

Conversely, Thomas himself is always complaining, too (They’re both so good at having a good grumble!) and I think it would kinda drive Henry nuts that Thomas acts like he has it soooooo hard for *checks notes* having a job that he can actually perform to everyone’s satisfaction?... Vicarstown pilot Thomas may feel ignored by their manager, but that’s a million times preferable to being an eighty-ton disappointment to a manager who now has buyer’s remorse and a consequently short temper with you… :/

Keeping Each Other Grounded

I have no doubt that in the early years Henry leaned as far into the “big engine” identity as he could, largely to ensure that he wasn’t dead last in the pecking order. But I don’t know that this worked… especially after Thomas is promoted to branch line, and now Henry and the others don’t have a station pilot to kick around for a while…! 

I don’t know for sure how I come down on about the TVS notion that Henry really grows out the big-engine trio vs. RWS, where the big-engine trio more slowly dissolves with everyone’s mutual consent. But if Henry did sort of lose interest in this identity when the other two didn’t, it makes sense precisely because the big-engine thing never let him rise higher than oh let’s say Thomas, and keeping a few paces ahead of that mouthy little tank engine (who always fails upward!!) was a big part of his motive for adopting it to begin with. 

Similarly, Henry is so practiced at seeing the down side of anything. This makes him great at poking a hole in Thomas's balloon, any time Thomas gets too proud and puffed-up.

The Good Times 

Right, I started off focusing on the tensions just because whenever one of these fellas takes a potshot at the other it’s always a classic! And because I think mutual befuddlement is the keynote of their early relationship. 

As we get even in a little into canon, however, I want to emphasize that they usually rub along comfortably. They’re kind of on each other’s periphery, always, but they’ve lived and worked together for so long. And they’re both good-hearted sort of lads really. So it’s impossible that they don’t care about each other, even if it’s almost always at a bit of a distance. We are more likely to see them when they’re shooting a poisoned arrow at each other, but we know that what they’re usually doing when they see each other at the junction is pleasantly exchanging news.

This means that I approve of (virtually all) the little TVS moments that point to this kind of bond. Usually it’s one of them looking concerned when the other is jumpy (Henry) or missing (Thomas… dude, you sure do go missing a lot in TVS). I likewise enjoy getting to see them happy for each other at the appropriate moments (usually this is Henry for Thomas, most memorable for me is “That’s my boy!” <- cheering on Thomas when he’s kicking ass in the Shunting Challenge).

This is basic, background sort of stuff. But it’s also, I think, the most accurate representation of them. The zingers are incredible but they are a small part of their relationship. A basic, background sort of quasi-siblinghood is what constitutes the lion’s share of that bond. 

I don’t like the TAB notion that Thomas went out of his way to say a few encouraging words to Henry and thereby cured Henry’s rain-related anxiety wtfffff… but I do approve of the general idea that, even (especially?) in the early days, there was certainly a time or two when Thomas hung back in the sheds to encourage Henry, just the two of them. It’s only that I think his brand of encouragement would be more like… Gordon or one of the BBBs had said something shitty to Henry, and (after getting into it with them, because Thomas is not one to back down from a fight!) actually remembering (for a change?) that this was all about Henry to begin with, and hanging around for a bit until Henry was cheered up. Although unlike Percy’s very frank, open attempt to cheer Henry in “Gordon’s Whistle,” I think Thomas’s approach would be more like “what a wanker…” Like, he wouldn’t show any pity, he’d just open the door for him and Henry to both talk shit about the guy for a few minutes. This is, indeed, Henry’s preferred method of being supported, well above being shown any overt pity! And Thomas would get it! (You wouldn’t usually find me doing an emotional-intelligence point-for-point comparison between Thomas and Percy where Thomas comes out on top, lol. But in this case Thomas’s nature – which includes being a casual shit-talker – would really shine!) 

Not So Different?

Indeed, I wonder sometimes if these two aren’t the two most similar personalities on the cast — they’ve just been shaped by very different external factors! 

They’re both fussy, both self-important, and neither is one to suffer in silence. They’re both good steady everyday grumblers, not aggressively, but in a very normal, perhaps even very English way. They both have good hearts and are quite willing to work hard… though they have both been known to throw a tantrum that sooner (tunnel & rain) or a wee bit later (banged-up snowplough) brings operations to a halt. None of which is unique to these two, by any means! All these traits are pretty common among the RWS cast(s?) especially. But Thomas and Henry’s traits match up point-for-point. They’re just living different lives, but underneath the externals they’re awfully alike. 

Now, of course, there is a key difference — Henry is a follower, and Thomas would make a terrible follower; he can’t handle cliques (he’s rather too rough-around-the-edges to ever fit in one, methinks!) Then, too, when Henry thinks he doesn’t get enough respect (often), he just grumbles but has to wait for someone to present to him an opportunity (Gordon and James re: the strike, Duck re: six lovely tenders). When Thomas thinks he doesn’t get enough respect (again — often), he’s soon off doing something — usually something that ranges from foolish to catastrophic, but the point is that he’s more active and Henry’s more passive. 

Those are real differences and not just down to circumstance. However, apart from these two points, if Thomas were a large ill-built tender engine, I think a lot of his behavior would be Henryesque. Same but inverted if Henry were a hale and healthy tank engine. Their natures were cut from similar cloth, even if they underwent different treatments and design. They’re not as irritable as James, as even-tempered as Edward, as bubbly as Percy, nor (even if they had been built to his design) would they be quite as proud, nor nearly so dignified, as Gordon. They’re both Just Guys, in a way. 

What are YOU looking at?

I guess there’s one other way they differ… in TVS, Thomas is so proactive about going out and introducing himself and making seven bajillion merchandise deals friends. 

I favor RWS for Thomas’s essential nature, though – and he’s notably absent in the nationalisation era, when the others are constantly bumping against B.R. engines. “He’s on his branch line!” Yeah, but, man – Percy somehow has a circle of B.R. admirers. Thomas could be mixing it up more at Tidmouth if he were inclined to. I think he likes staying on his home base. I think Thomas is a quite a bit more of a homebody than Andrew Brenner seems to, in short. 

This also means that I think Thomas and Henry are alike in this way, too. They’re happy in the lives they’ve carved out for themselves, new acquaintances can approach them if they like – but watch out! (“What ugly wheels you’ve got.”) Newcomers to the book version of the North-Western can expect Duck to give you guidance, Percy to peer upon you with frank curiosity, James to self-importantly shove himself into your personal space and try to put you in your place, Gordon to officiously introduce himself if he thinks you’re important enough to merit such an honor, the Caledonians to maybe break you in with a practical joke if you stick around long enough, Edward to extract your entire life story if you stay longer than about 48 hours. Thomas and Henry? They’re hangin’ back. Not on account of shyness! And they’re not excessively proud I don’t think – but they’re both just self-important enough that they’re automatically suspicious of anyone with the nerve to approach them. 

(That said, annoying Thomas is just a first step in befriending him. Annoying Henry doesn’t work out the same way! He’ll just tell you to get off his siding, lol.) 

It’s like Ariel Wanting to Walk on the Beach… with Legs… 

A final and very important similarity: Thomas and Henry both distinguish themselves by indulging in some notably un-engine-like behavior. 

Thomas is discontent in early canon in a way I certainly don’t think is true for all shunters (hence part of my characterization of my OC Poppet, who would never dream of pining to be anything but a station pilot. She has a grand job! What more could an engine want than an important job? Variety? Society? Scenery? Pah. Because Poppet's a normie, is why.) Even early in his branch line days, we see him taking up a yen to fish like the anglers he sees at the Els river – and is apparently called out for it by every engine to whom he announces this desire. (“Engines don’t go fishing??? *mutters aside* Loony…”) 

Henry, too, is given the trait in TVS canon of liking to sit ‘round on mysterious sidings in the middle of a peaceful forest and take in the beauty of it all. Now engines often want to be a part of things – it seems they have a social drive – but to want to do all this slow, solitary, un-useful nature hobby stuff, that’s really something else. This is such un-engine-like behavior that it’s downright impractical! RULE 55 But it puts Henry into what is (for the Classic and New Series, at least) a pretty exclusive club, pretty much just him, Thomas, and – later in the same TV season – Duck. And, like, I accept this as canon because it feels right. Yeah, they’re our weirdos (affectionate). 

In Our Lanes. Thriving. 

So, yeah. Two nifty dudes, with a sibling relationship that’s so basic and understated that it’s almost dangerous to write them, because you could very easy press your thumb a little too hard and ruin their balance! 

There’s a little crop of fics that give them the shared spotlight in a story, usually in the Vicarstown days, when Thomas does something nice for a struggling Henry. That idea tends to work quite well. I can’t think of many other times when trying to put the focus on their dynamic wouldn’t foil their dynamic. As I say for the last time – a keyword here is “peripheral.” 

Their connection is strong mostly because of time and shared history, strengthened by a similar temperament, and spiced up by their chronic squabbling. You could too easily try to give them a nice Moment and overdo it, because they’re in the same tight family-like circle, but it’s like they’re each on one of the polar caps – just waving at (or snarling at) each other every so often as their shared world keeps chuggin’ on.

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Side B Round 1 Match 11

Propaganda:

Mikey -

"This is a headcanon that didn’t originally occur to me, but then I encountered it in the wild, and something in my brain kinda lit up like ‘!!!’. I couldn’t stop turning the idea over in my head, like a slow roasting marshmallow, getting dangerously close to an open flame. So, here we are. First of all, Mikey is the leader of a biker gang. He has an immense interest in motorcycles (including their parts and repairing/building them), something of which he is able to bond with other delinquents over. He is frequently commented on by others as showcasing ‘childish’ behavior, such as whining when he doesn’t get his way, taking naps on his vice-commander, Draken’s, back or getting upset when he receives a kid’s meal with no flag in it. He often relies on Draken in a caretaker sort of role, such as providing the aforementioned flags to avoid meltdowns, tying his hair up just the right way in the mornings, going to his house to wake him up (all these things appear frequent activities/rituals Mikey relies on), and being “his heart.” Mikey appears to have naturally low empathy. Pretty early on in the series, he and Draken pay a visit to a girl who was put in the hospital by a rival gang, for being affiliated with some of their members. Her parents encounter them and they are furious that anyone involved in gang activity would even dare show their faces, despite Mikey and Draken not being the ones to actually hurt her. He insists they shouldn't apologize to the parents, because it's not their fault and they personally didn't do anything, failing to comprehend the bigger picture, that the lifestyle of delinquency and crime in general and the violence it breeds, not just between those who partake, but innocents caught in the crossfire, is what led to their daughter's assault. And they are feeling grief and anger, thus acting irrationally and lashing out (which, while illogical to Mikey, is a typical emotional reaction to this sort of situation). But he eventually amends his opinion at Draken’s urging—reserving emotional consideration for when his friends are involved primarily. Difficulty regulating emotions, selective listening, and self-centeredness are also all traits that Mikey has exhibited. He often has atypical/repressed facial expressions. He has safe foods—preferring sweet things like dorayaki and taiyaki above all else. He has a comfort item in the form of an old, raggedy towel, which is, in his words “his whole life,” and refuses to give it up even when his family urges him to throw it out. “The tip of his towel” is canonically his “favorite spot”—He is seen stimming with it by rolling it up and kneading it with his hands and fingers. He also prefers to dress for comfort, in loose and baggy clothes whenever he is outside of his gang uniform, and he always wears the same flip-flops, even when it would seem inconvenient. Some other things that don’t necessarily point to autism, but maybe could be considered in the broader picture with everything else?

Routine night motorcycle rides with his brother and childhood friend, which he continues, same time and route, after their deaths, while talking like they are still there with him (though this is more him just honoring their memories and finding comfort in these old actions)

‘Dark impulse’ flare-ups could be interpreted as meltdowns that cross into violent territory? (Like after Sanzu allegedly broke his new toy as a child) But again, dark impulses are a whole other can of worms that could probably be likened to other things better than autism

He is canonically considered a martial arts genius/prodigy, which could be read as some sort of savantism, but also just typical shounen anime shenanigans Despite some of the shakier things to consider, I find myself really liking the idea of autistic Mikey, and I do think there’s a lot in the story in favor of that reading of him. I’d love to see him represented here!"

Yotasuke -

"He has terrible social skills and doesn't filter his words, and although he does not have bad intentions, he often comes off extremely cold or harsh, saying things like "Talking with you irritates me so can you please leave me alone?". He struggles to make friends, especially since he purposefully pushes people away. Yatora, the main character, brings the number of contacts on his phone to a grand total of three. His wardrobe consists of almost exactly the same shirt over and over again. He holds his pencil and chopsticks extremely weird. He loves animals and is often pictured with them, for example cats and rabbits. He was considered extremely talented at art when he was a child, and his art is still amazing but it has messed up the way he interacts with others. He feels as though art is all he has. This causes him to resent Yatora, who appears to have so many skills and career options, as well as a thriving social life. Yotasuke also has a very strained relationship with his mother, who can be quite manipulative at times. He is also very silly if that means anything to you. Everyone should go read Blue Period actually."

[sporesgalaxy]

CAN YOU LINK ME TO YOUR SPORE ART IM HAVING AN AUTISM FLARE UP AGAIN AND I NEED TO SHOW IT TO MY FRIEND BECAUSE ITS SO GOOD /POS for context i mean the one with words like "only son" that had the edit to make it a full spore image and not a hlvrai piece, sorry if this sounds insane

NOT SOUNDING INSANE! I GOT WHAT U MEANT AS SOON AS U SAID "ONLY SON" AND IM BEYOND DELIGHTED YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH BC ITS AN ALL-TIME FAVE OF MINE AS WELL💚💚

[muwapsturniolo]

https://www.tumblr.com/muwapsturniolo/761092106641129472/i-understand-a-lot-of-people-are-pissed-about-what?source=share

PREACH!!!!! this escalated to body shaming nick and wishing death upon him rather than the actual topic on hand. im a nick boy 4ever but what he said was wrong and he needs to be aware of that. however that doesnt mean ppl should hate on nick for no reason. ive seen like for real body shame him now, like real nasty stuff. as someone who had body dysmorphia and an ED, reading those comments really hurt and they weren't even abt me. ppl need to focus on the ableist thing he said. even before this comment ive seen ppl hate in nick repeatedly for no reason and like say shit to him that was actually too far, especially with the comments about his body. as somone who also has autism and stims a lot i truly didn't find harm in his comment and i found it funny cause me and my friends joke around like that as well, but i understand why it would hurt someone out of 7 million ppl. i feel like he truly didnt know the meaning of what he said and said it with no malicious intent l, but he needs to know what he said was wrong and he needs ro be held accountable. however this doesnt mean that ppl should say he should die or call him a fat pig or loser (ive seen comments like that and worse a bunch) bc thats js not right. as someone who grew up w out any neurodivergent ppl around u cant just hate and go off on someone if they say something rude or disrespectful when they truly didnt know what they were saying or didnt know any better, the important thing is to tell them that's saying stuff like that is wrong and rude. nick is 21 years old so he should be held accountable but shouldn't be called fat, ugly, or an evil monster (once again true comments ive seen). once again i feel like this some ppl in this fandom like year ago and up until now found things to hate on nick like say some really messed up shit w out any reason or sense into their words. (most of them are just fueling the their parasocial relationship with matt and chris bc nick was slighty mean around them). nick should 100% be held accountable for this, but he shouldn't be degraded and shit on to this degree. a lot of them (not all) didnt like nick in the first place and started body shaming and saying that he shouldn't even be a part of the sturniolo triplets at all, which is taking thing out of proportion. i do hope nick says smth about this bc ppl out here are saying some really nasty shit that even flared my insecure ass's negative mindset off, and it wasnt even directed towards me. moral of the story imo nick said smth fucked up, even if he did it unknowingly or w out bad intent or just even didnt truly know what stimming meant, and he should understand how it hurt ppl and should say smth about it, but that doesn't mean ppl should blow things out of proportion and body shame and ridicule him just bc they dont like him (and some want to fuel their parasocial relationship w matt and/or chris i fear). the focus should be abt the ableist comment itself. sorry if this is too long i just wanted to put my side of this debacle out here and i really hope this made sense, love ya a bunchhhhh

This was a lot but I agree ! Body shaming and calling him all these names is doing way too damn much! And telling him to die is insane! People have hated on Nick from the jump and just want to ridicule him for everything!

I have a theory that people are growing out of the triplets/ the hyper fixation is dying out and they hate that they are growing out of it so people start hating to justify it.

Like it’s ok to pick out the wrongs your fav has done, but to start going this hard by wishing death on him, calling him fat etc, it’s too much.

[birgittesilverbae]

Avatrice - sway

The fire has burned low, Mary and Shannon, Lilith and Camila vanishing into their respective tents. Beatrice is still sitting by the fire pit, though, her back against a log, embers sparking in her eyes. Ava gathers a couple bottles from the cooler and settles down beside her, careful to keep a few inches between them. She places the water near Beatrice's hand, where it flutters against her thigh, and cracks open the beer.

"May I?" Beatrice is still concentrating on the dying fire, but she reaches blindly over, and Ava holds the beer out by its neck, presses it into her palm. 

Beatrice tilts her head back, throat long and lean, bobbing as she swallows.

Ava looks away, scuffs her toe in the dirt. "I didn't think you drank."

Beatrice dangles the bottle in the air, works at the label with her thumbnail. "I don't. It just, sometimes it–" She sways forward, brow furrowed, sloshes some beer over the remaining low flame. It flares up for a moment, then plunges the clearing into darkness. "It's the water, did you know? There's not many drinks that are high enough proof that the alcohol burning releases more energy than the water boiling off. It's basic chemistry."

Ava hums, but it doesn't seem like Beatrice hears her.

She taps the bottle against her temple. "The brain, at its most basic, that's just chemistry too. Acetylcholine, norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid." She rattles them off in one go, barely pausing for breath. "Stimulating and inhibiting. People call it the world's most complicated machine, and I don't usually get that, metaphors, but I understand here. Because if it were a machine there'd be an operator's manual, or a manufacturer, or somewhere to get answers. But I've just got this black box." She taps the bottle against her temple again, harder. The glass groans under the stress.

Ava shifts forward, eyes glued on Beatrice's hand as her fingers tighten and her knuckles go white. She has to wedge her hand under her thigh to keep from reaching out. "It's alright if you feel like that, Beatrice–"

Beatrice shakes her head. "The morph fixed Shannon's shoulder. It fixed my leg. So why didn't it–" The bottle shatters in her fist. Beatrice doesn't notice. "It fixed my leg."

"Beatrice–"

"It should have fixed me."

"There's nothing to fix."

Beatrice snorts. "You have met me, right?"

"I have, so I know damn well there's nothing wrong with you."

"I feel bad for Suzanne sometimes." She's got her coin out, fingers anxious on it, spotted with blood where the shattered bottle had scored lines across her palm that had healed just as quickly as they'd appeared. "I know she picked me, I know she knew about my diagnosis when she did, but I don't know if she knew what that really meant. That there's not some border where the autism stops and I begin, that it's fucking pervasive."

Ava nods, silent, her mouth dry. 

"She looks at me sometimes and, I don't know, it feels like she's disappointed in me? Like I'm letting her down somehow? And I try, I try so hard to be better, to be normal, because that should make it easier, right? It should be easier."

"Has she ever… Has she ever said anything?"

She shakes her head, flips her coin into the air. She misses the catch, sends it skittering across the rock, and Ava snatches it up mid-skip just as Beatrice goes to reach for it. Their hands meet, fingers half-laced from the reach. Ava freezes, doesn't dare to even breathe. 

Beatrice doesn't pull back.

"She's been nothing but good to me. Which almost makes it worse." Her eyes are locked on their linked hands. "She does everything for me and I can't even do this one fucking thing for her."

"There's nothing to fix, Beatrice."

"Don't try and play it off, Ava. I'm not normal-"

"None of us are."

"It's not the same thing!" She pulls her hand back to her side, fingers tapping frantically at her thigh. "Being a Ranger and being a freak, not the same thing."

"Beatrice."

"Don't pretend like you understand. I'm trapped inside my head knowing this isn't the way other people think, knowing this isn't the way other people act, and I try so hard all the time but I can't fucking change it and I can't fucking fix it."

"Beatrice, I of all people know what it's like to feel trapped inside your own head."

[aspd-culture]

i’m kind of confused as another system, ik you said you might just delete asks but i hope this is okay bc i’m genuinely trying to understand your point and sincerely confused and asking for clarification

i see your point about neurological disorders being hardware and stuff but at the same time like. i’m autistic and i was diagnosed with autism because i display autistic symptoms. one of my alters displays no autistic symptoms and would not be diagnosed with autism if he individually was tested. so how does it make sense to say he’s autistic?

in the same vein one of my alters displays all the symptoms for dpd and was diagnosed with it when he was out while being tested, but i display none of them and don’t relate to it at all. how does it make sense to say i have dpd?

we share the same brain yes but if one of us shows and relates to no symptoms of a disorder then imo it doesn’t track at all to say we still have it because the host or brain or other alters do. same vein as i’m anorexic but if another alter comes out and has zero issue with eating or the concept of food it wouldn’t make sense to call them anorexic, but it doesn’t make me less anorexic

This one was in the drafts. I really don’t want to get into this again, but I think it’s only fair to post it as I had taken the time to write this anon and answer so I don’t feel I can say “this is too much for me to deal with” when all I need to do is format it and hit post. As mentioned previously, I will ignore or delete asks if they only pertain to this discourse (unrelated in any other way to ASPD) at my discretion. I pretty much never have had to do that, just a couple ableist people telling me how terrible pwASPD are. I don’t intent to do it often, and don’t want to do it at all, but I won’t drain myself to continue explaining why alters inside the same body cannot physically alter the structure of the brain by switching out.

Not displaying symptoms is different than not having them. A symptom holder is an alter who shows the most symptoms of the disorder, generally because they end up pushed to the front in situations that flare the disorder. But the symptoms are not occurring because that alter is out, that alter is out because those symptoms are occurring and that alter knows best how to handle them.

Just like an alter who fronts during a certain kind of abuse every time it happens is not the only one *being* abused, the whole system is, an alter who takes on the symptoms of a neurological condition is not the only one who has it.

Beyond that, it's difficult to notice internally whether symptoms of neurological disorders disorders are present. Most people making this declaration that their alter doesn’t have the disorder are going off the concept that they perceive an alter to not have symptoms of the disorder, ignoring that before getting diagnosed, they likely also believed they had no symptoms of that disorder, at least for a time, or even worse, that the alter shows symptoms, but not enough to qualify for a diagnosis. That diagnosis is not individual, it is related to every alter using the brain. Showing different symptoms of a neurological disorder at different times is completely typical and does not mean you don’t have it, because different situations stimulate different parts of the brain and thus based on the situation the person will be affected differently by that disorder that they very much still have. If anyone on the opposite side of this discourse happens to have a good professional who knows about their system and their neurodivergence, try and ask them if you stop being autistic just because you switched and now aren’t noticing symptoms.

If you look into autism, you'll find it is literally a difference in the brain (neurodivergence). At the end of the day, symptoms or not, if you use an autistic brain, you are autistic, because autism is not actually a set of symptoms. Autism is a difference in the brain that we notice and diagnose using symptoms. Hence why it is a spectrum where two autistic people can literally have entirely different symptoms with no overlap. The same goes for any neurological difference - it is *not* a set of symptoms, we use those symptoms to recognize and identify the difference in their brain.

Anorexia, however, is not always neurological. I think it can be, but it is also sometimes a body image issue or a trauma issue, etc. So yes, some alters can be anorexic while others are not.

Let me say it another way and see if this helps make sense of it. If a system gets accommodations in school like longer test taking or more time to turn in homework, does the teacher have the responsibility to remove those and ignore the IEP or 504 plan because said alter shows few enough symptoms that they wouldn’t be considered to have that disorder alone? Or are those disability accommodations legally protected at all times regardless of who is out?

Should a system that has work accommodations for a disorder lose those if another alter is out? Should your boss be able to, if you have accommodations that say for example that you have more leeway on being late to work, be allowed to ask you who was out and punish you like they would a fully neurologically abled person if it was an alter capable of getting there on time?

Or if the body of a system has,a degenerative brain disease, and an alter who shows less symptoms of it were to end up frontstuck, should they stop taking their medication? Or do they still have a disease affecting the brain that they need to keep treating regardless of who is out? The same goes for Autism, ASPD, ADHD, any disorder that affects the physical function of the brain since they all have the same one.

And if you think they should stop taking meds or lose legal rights to accommodations, where’s the line? Who gets to say if the alter is symptomatic enough? It would be so messy and confusing if those things were allowed because they make no sense. Same brain = same neurology = same neurological disorders.

It's getting frustrating repeating myself here over and over, which is the point of me saying I may delete asks about this specific discourse if I don’t have the spoons for it.

Plain text below the cut:

This one was in the drafts. I really don’t want to get into this again, but I think it’s only fair to post it as I had taken the time to write this anon and answer so I don’t feel I can say “this is too much for me to deal with” when all I need to do is format it and hit post. As mentioned previously, I will ignore or delete asks if they only pertain to this discourse (unrelated in any other way to ASPD) at my discretion. I pretty much never have had to do that, just a couple ableist people telling me how terrible pwASPD are. I don’t intent to do it often, and don’t want to do it at all, but I won’t drain myself to continue explaining why alters inside the same body cannot physically alter the structure of the brain by switching out.

Not displaying symptoms is different than not having them. A symptom holder is an alter who shows the most symptoms of the disorder, generally because they end up pushed to the front in situations that flare the disorder. But the symptoms are not occurring because that alter is out, that alter is out because those symptoms are occurring and that alter knows best how to handle them.

Just like an alter who fronts during a certain kind of abuse every time it happens is not the only one *being* abused, the whole system is, an alter who takes on the symptoms of a neurological condition is not the only one who has it.

Beyond that, it's difficult to notice internally whether symptoms of neurological disorders disorders are present. Most people making this declaration that their alter doesn’t have the disorder are going off the concept that they perceive an alter to not have symptoms of the disorder, ignoring that before getting diagnosed, they likely also believed they had no symptoms of that disorder, at least for a time, or even worse, that the alter shows symptoms, but not enough to qualify for a diagnosis. That diagnosis is not individual, it is related to every alter using the brain. Showing different symptoms of a neurological disorder at different times is completely typical and does not mean you don’t have it, because different situations stimulate different parts of the brain and thus based on the situation the person will be affected differently by that disorder that they very much still have. If anyone on the opposite side of this discourse happens to have a good professional who knows about their system and their neurodivergence, try and ask them if you stop being autistic just because you switched and now aren’t noticing symptoms.

If you look into autism, you'll find it is literally a difference in the brain (neurodivergence). At the end of the day, symptoms or not, if you use an autistic brain, you are autistic, because autism is not actually a set of symptoms. Autism is a difference in the brain that we notice and diagnose using symptoms. Hence why it is a spectrum where two autistic people can literally have entirely different symptoms with no overlap. The same goes for any neurological difference - it is *not* a set of symptoms, we use those symptoms to recognize and identify the difference in their brain.

Anorexia, however, is not always neurological. I think it can be, but it is also sometimes a body image issue or a trauma issue, etc. So yes, some alters can be anorexic while others are not.

Let me say it another way and see if this helps make sense of it. If a system gets accommodations in school like longer test taking or more time to turn in homework, does the teacher have the responsibility to remove those and ignore the IEP or 504 plan because said alter shows few enough symptoms that they wouldn’t be considered to have that disorder alone? Or are those disability accommodations legally protected at all times regardless of who is out?

Should a system that has work accommodations for a disorder lose those if another alter is out? Should your boss be able to, if you have accommodations that say for example that you have more leeway on being late to work, be allowed to ask you who was out and punish you like they would a fully neurologically abled person if it was an alter capable of getting there on time?

Or if the body of a system has,a degenerative brain disease, and an alter who shows less symptoms of it were to end up frontstuck, should they stop taking their medication? Or do they still have a disease affecting the brain that they need to keep treating regardless of who is out? The same goes for Autism, ASPD, ADHD, any disorder that affects the physical function of the brain since they all have the same one.

And if you think they should stop taking meds or lose legal rights to accommodations, where’s the line? Who gets to say if the alter is symptomatic enough? It would be so messy and confusing if those things were allowed because they make no sense. Same brain = same neurology = same neurological disorders.

It's getting frustrating repeating myself here over and over, which is the point of me saying I may delete asks about this specific discourse if I don’t have the spoons for it.

[vanana-r0tat3]

some pre-game batim headcanons :>

Henry: - all he does is eat hot chip be bisexual and lie /j - has a preference for women so i think him realizing hes not straight is like hey wait a minute hey wait wait - joey was his gay awakening,,, real -gets burnout super easy, it probably frustrates him a lot when he cant draw - drawing is a big comfort for him - has pretty bad social anxiety, but has become pretty good at dealing with it!

Joey: - gay. this man is not into women at all sorry 💀 "i just dont have time for girls" yeah sure fruitcake - watch me project once again and give this man bpd. like im sorry his whole thing with henry?? im not even explaining it but if you get it you get it yea - also definitely has adhd - wheelchair user !! he is able to walk, but he still needs the wheelchair when flare ups get real bad. he is stubborn though and refuses to use it at work or when hes out of the house

more under the cut !!

Wally: - he has adhd, obviously - transgender !! i feel like hes a gnc binary trans man - hes straight to me, but his gf/wife is also trans >:D t4t win - i feel like he likes to gossip. the thought of him, norman, shawn, maybe even jack whispering to eachother in a corner about some random secrets theyve overheard is super funny to me

Sammy: - AUTISM... hes autistic - gets overwhelmed and overstimulated super easily, hence why hes always so irritable - yknow what im giving him bipolar. hes my comfort character and i get to project my mental illness !! - hes gay and demiromantic - honestly? transfem i see it. bc like im thinking about how he talks about susies singing like. i know what you are - bad with boundaries.. he is so bad at them and reading social cues - hates being touched, probably is only comfortable with jack for the most part - watch him crush on like half the men mentioned in this post at least once

Norman: - hes also autistic. his sense of humor is so??? 😭 - HES ALSO DEFINITELY AN OLDER GAY GUY. he just has that energy yknow like if you agree - probably would be agender too - him and sammy are that incompatible type of autism havers does this make sense?? like some autistic people i just cant stand because of my autism, our places on the spectrum make it so hard to like them yk? thats norman and sammy - this man definitely has insomnia

Susie: - lesbian. she doesnt know it yet but she is - her calling sammy handsome isnt her being attracted to him its just gender envy 😁 - shes just a feminine transmasc 👍 - rejection sensitive dysphoria out the ASS my poor girl - very insecure deep down, so she overcompensates for it by trying to be a people pleaser n stuff

Allison: - shes bisexual !! has a strong preference for women - shes a trans woman idc idc i love her - AUTISTIC AS HELL - i imagine she had a sibling like relationship with joey - probably one of the few people that could tell him off without like. getting fired lol

Buddy: - adhd and autism,, special intrest in art/drawing - AROACE. the stuff he says about his friendship with dot?? "i didnt know we could just be friends" and him not being too into his first assumption when she pulls him away to show him the bendyland model?? yea - honestly i think he has social anxiety hes doing his best - hes very sensitive over people bringing up him being jewish, he seems so ready to be made fun of or scorned for it :( - definitely some cultural detachment because of it (im projecting again) - i think dot would wanna learn about about it, buddy should teach her stuff!! like traditions and whatnot

Tom: - asexual 👍 - TRANSGENDER. probably would be nonbinary, heavily masc leaning though - he smokes a lot have you heard this man good lord. i dont think allison is a fan of it - anger issues,, mostly caused by stress and a lack of sleep, hes trying his best :( - he has arthritis. hes not old but god do his joints fee like it. he has crutches !! like joey though he only really uses em at home 💀

Jack: - wheelchair user jack my BELOVED idk where the hc came from but im all for it - he cant walk, but is able to get around just fine! watch him try and do wheelies to impress sammy only to almost fall over - 100% autistic as well. him and sammy are able to be autism together - unlabeled aromantic - hes such a loser /loving

Grant: - poor guy gets chronic headaches someone give him some painkillers - hes got generalized anxiety disorder this man cannot get a break - demisexual and demiromantic,, mans is double demi

Shawn: - adhdtism 😭 - LOVES to talk, he could go on for hours dude - i feel like he knows a lot of ridiculously obscure knowledge. for why? dont worry about it - he gives me genderfluid vibes - literally just some guy

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

just passed midnight, I'm officially 29

I always told myself I'd have my shit together by the time I was 30

I'm not even there yet and I have a stable job that's super flexible with great workplace vibes

FINALLY moved out of my parents place again and am renting a room from a friend who actually OWNS a house! (co owned with their parents who live upstairs and are also very lovely and invite me to their trivia nights!) so I got to put up gorgeous wallpaper and hang whatever I want up on the walls with as many nails or sticky hooks as I need

my medication game has been strong, my chronic pain flare ups settle down again faster than they ever have

I'm finally seeing a therapist who specialises in autism so she actually understands me!

AND I have a BABY NEPHEW which is all kinds of exciting!!

I had a LOT of ups and downs this past year but I think I can confidently say there's finally been more ups than downs

I am GETTING 👏 MY 👏 SHIT 👏 TOGETHER 👏

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

I have a friend, whos adhd is so bad, they watch shows on 3x speed. Anyways screw their adhd or autism because wtf never talk to me again??

Needed to confess my friend is a curse to society somewhere mb

Anon lets be so real: you have picked the worst person to send this to. You just sound like an asshole. Maybe if you didn’t send this to a cripple in the middle of one of the worst flares of their life you would have gotten a good faith answer but nah. You’re just a dick. Did you really think sending this to a disabled person with autism and adhd would have ever gone over well? Sure the 3x thing might be annoying to you, but it might be the only thing that works for them right now, and you have no fucking place to judge what someone does in their free time. How on earth can you call them a friend and then say “wtf never talk to me again”. That’s unbelievably fucked up.

Guess what! People aren’t always going to be palatable to you! Who could have guessed! Adhd and autistic people already have a hard time finding friends, and often up end with deep trust issues because of people like you. Calling someone with A LITERAL FUCKING DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDER “a curse to society somewhere” isn’t a good look on you. You are directly in ableist territory, and Very Fucking Close to eugenics territory, because guess what! I’m also a curse to society under the same metric, because I can’t fucking work, and I need help to live a half-decent life. Just because people need help, or are weird, or don’t meet your standards of what counts as acceptable behaviour does not mean that they are a curse to society. Go fuck yourself, and get off my blog.

Also: *whose.

[lemon-grey]

Also sorry again I wasn’t around yesterday I’ll explain more in detail now that I don’t feel like death

I have this autoimmune disorder that causes severe inflammation when it flares up & then that inflammation causes a shit ton of chronic pain and mobility problems

I ALSO have a terrible gait when I walk because of the autism

So the two combined to cause me some absolutely unbearable foot, ankle and knee pain so I had to go get a steroid shot in my heel yesterday and may have foot surgery on the horizon if that doesn’t help & I felt like shit yesterday lol sorry again