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phynali · 4 years

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more spn discussions, just skip this post y’all

@queerbluebird thanks so much for engaging with my post/reply! i really enjoyed reading your response and i have a long reply here.

i’m responding to your post/reply here rather than reblogging it because honestly that thread is - so long. so very long.

so first -

i agree there is a difference between entitlement and what i would call, not promise, but instead “narrative follow-through”. A story that completely lacks narrative follow-through does end up feeling disappointing, or frustrating, or rage-inducing, depending on what’s happened. to me there’s a fundamental difference between critiquing a story based on follow-through and bad storytelling (which your post aims to do), versus say, creating hashtag campaigns about a character being silenced because and spreading conspiracy theories about a bad dub (among other things honestly).

and also - queerbaiting totally sucks, we definitely do agree on that.

where we disagree, i think are these two core points:

i do not see the narrative build-up that demands a follow-through. i do not see supernatural as having built up to the story that many destiel shippers seem to think was there, and no one has ever been able to point out to me any actual textual reasons that do craft that narrative build-up

i fundamentally do not believe that destiel was ever a queerbait. queerbait involves active intent on the part of creators to tease a ship or queer representation in order to draw in $ from queer audiences without ever making it canon, so as not to alienate straight audiences. so, refering to point 1., i do not see the canon text as having laid the groundwork for a queerbait and those romantic tropes, at least not at any point in the past 7 years. and beyond the canon, the writers and producers and jensen ackles all indicated dean was straight, and that they were not writing a romance. if anyone queerbaited the fans, it was misha collins who kept teasing the possibility, and personally i would argue that was irresponsible of him. but that’s a different discussion altogether and tends to piss people off when it’s framed as such, because misha means a lot to them and it hurts to see the man who validated their feelings get criticized for the manner in which he validated them. so i’m gonna leave that aside.

beyond that, I want to engage with some of your specific quotes:

Supernatural loves to say “wait for it.” And I don’t think it’s entitled to feel betrayed if an author uses their story to say “wait for it” in order to convince you to stick with their story and then delivers the opposite after you do.

May i ask, where was the “wait for it” with destiel? this ties in directly to the queerbaiting. i indicated in my post/reply that while i see it from cas, there’s been little to no hint of any reciprocation of feelings from dean, and if anything the past 7 or so years have driven the point home that it isn’t happening. i personally am not able to see the “Wait for it” and that was the point of my question. without the “Wait for it”, i also can’t see the queerbait.

I asked for specifics and while i totally get not having the spoons, you provided a few:

(off the top of my head for Dean though, the mixtape, his response to Cas’ death at the end of 12, subsequent grief arc, and reaction to Cas’ return in the front half of 13 rank highly. His reaction to Lucifer’s prank call in 15x19 might rate, but maybe just because it’s so recent.)

not trying to be unkind here, but i quite genuinely don’t see any of these examples as framing cas and dean in a romantic light, or as hinting at a “what if”. the mixtape is like.... okay, maybe. i had read that as being symbolic of something else, but i can see wanting to read it from a shipping lens. (i don’t however think i’d read it as baiting or “what if” - it was quite textually not framed that way. shipping, 100%, but canon build-up, not for me).

for the other examples -- grieving for someone you consider family? and being happy when they come back? that’s not shippy to me. i mean - contrast the grief he showed over cas’s death compared to his grief over, say, mary? or, less extreme, charlie? and nothing compared to how off the rails he goes when sam is dead or he thinks sam is. so i -- i just can’t see those as creating a narrative that demands a follow-through. and when your friend who is dead calls your phone? of course you hop to the door - i don’t know what is romantic about that. sam would’ve hopped just as quick if “cass” had called his phone instead.

and look - i see what is fun to ship about all that. if i shipped it, i’d be happily collecting these moments with a smile and grinning to myself about how cute they are and much they mean. but shipping it vs. it being romantically framed in the canon are two fundamentally different things. shipping doesn’t imply narrative buy-in or deliberation from the creator.

moving on, you also spoke at length about 15x18:

15x18 made the sort of statement that drew back even people who did exactly what OP said they should do, turning off the TV years ago. It wasn’t a quiet “if you’re still watching, keep waiting,” so much as a shouted “hey we’re gonna do this thing, watch this!”

i guess destiel fans vs. those of us who don’t ship it really see this as fundamentally different. because you discuss that moment as one which requires follow-through, and say that if this were heteronormative m/f love declaration, there would be that expectation of follow-through. not necessarily reciprocity, but more - more conversation, more acknowledgment, more something.

(i mean - if there was more, but that more was “hey i love you too but only platonically, sorry man” would that be better?)

but no - i actually just... disagree with your point on that front. i can see why you feel the way you do and i acknowledge that it can be read as the start of a conversation. to me though -- and clearly, now that the finale is out, how the writers saw it -- that was actually the end of a conversation. the end of, like you pointed out, 12 years. a 12-year conversation that ends in a gorgeous declaration of love, and specifically how love isn’t about being together, it’s simply about being - it’s about the fact that you love someone, and that feeling alone is the most beautiful thing in existence.

to me, that declaration can only be written and interpreted as an ending. a sacrifice, a declaration, and a goodbye. so - while i kind of expected seeing more people in episode 20 and realize that didn’t happen largely due to covid - i’m not disappointed we didn’t see cas, because that culmination of his narrative (and then knowing he was with jack, after, rebuilding the heaven that he rebelled against and finally completing his narrative circle by fixing all the problems with it alongside the good god he sought to find all along) is kind of perfect.

and i genuinely don’t think if cas was in a female vessel this entire time that that would change. maybe some audience members would feel differently, but i think many of us would see it for the end it was nonetheless. there’s plenty of stories with m/f ships that are one-sided and that character sacrifices themselves for the person they love, so i don’t see why this would be any different (except the bury your gays issue, but that’s a whole other and very real conversation about media tropes).

moving on to the series finale.

As many people have pointed out in praise of 15x20, Sam is the absolute most important thing in Dean’s life, his priority above anything and everything… And yet there, at the actual end of the world, Dean ignores Sam’s call and instead cries over the loss of Castiel. Dean’s loss of Castiel plays in tandem with the loss of literally the whole world. But we’re not to take that as a promise that Castiel means more to this story, or to Dean, than a couple seconds of wistfulness after the dust settles?

I... yeah. i don’t see what this even is arguing. that dean taking a minute to himself to grieve his best friend, who just died in part because dean decided to go hunt down billie (who was literally dying anyway). he’s hurting. there’s nothing about this that’s a promise - it’s an end. it’s grief. it’s the horror of losing someone you care about, and the silence that comes after. it’s fundamentally human in it’s pain. and we, the audience, are invited to grieve with dean.

so I mean - of course cas means more to this story. of course he’s meant more than a few seconds of grief, after 12 years. but just because that’s the last time we see him on screen doesn’t mean we don’t value his story, and celebrate how it too came full circle.

You mention cas as a sort of avatar for a different potential ending for the brothers, and highlight him representing:

An ending where higher powers stop yanking them around and they get to actually live in the life they’ve built for themselves.

So while i never considered cas an avatar for that, i do think we all wanted the brothers to have their freedom. “finally free.” so we can agree on wanting that end. but we disagree on whether it was delivered, i guess? because i feel it was.

you also talk about what you and many other fans conceivably wanted a happier ending to look like. can i -- i’m going to be totally honest. i have not seen a single person who’s critiquing the end saying “i just wanted sam and dean to grow old hunting together with their dog until they retire together and die of old age.”

would that be satisfying to those who are mad about the end? i personally don’t think so, but maybe my opinion is being coloured by the most vitriolic fans i’ve seen. if sam and dean got to have the life they wanted free of chuck, and dean didn’t die, and they kept going (or retired and opened a bar together!). maybe sam still had a kid, but again because romance wasn’t the point, the wife wasn’t important and they left her blurry still so we could interpret ourselves if she was a wife or a co-parent or a surrogate or what. maybe dean has a kid too, with a similar question-mark-wife. maybe we get a few images of them having a holiday with jodie and the girls. and then getting to heaven together in old age, greeting bobby with a beer, and going for a drive.

would that be an end that wouldn’t cause fandom uproar? i would enjoy it, soft an slightly discordant as it would be to me. i prefer the ending we got, bittersweet and heartbreaking though it was, but i wouldn’t be taking to social media to yell about it if we got a softer epilogue, so to speak.

on the other hand... would that still not be enough, at least not for so many of the angry fans? i’m genuinely unsure. it seems to me that so much of the ire is about destiel itself, even if people are pretending it’s about more and other things than that. not everyone, but like, a big portion of them. which leads me to believe that nothing short of dean and cas at least interpretable as together is what they wanted. if every other single thing about the existing finale was the same except that cas was the one to greet dean instead of bobby, and even with the same basic dialogue, without discussing the confession, but they have a lingering smile, and dean leaves to drive and wait for sam with the promise he’ll see cas later -

if everything else stayed the same except who greeted dean, i genuinely don’t believe i’d be seeing almost any critique of the finale on my dash. maybe i’m cynical, but that’s where i’m at.

which is part of why i really struggle to believe that people are engaging in good faith when they critique the finale. because i feel like if it offered them either a) everything they’re purportedly asking for but still no cas and zero hint of destiel, vs. b) every other thing they claim to hate stays the same except there’s a wink and nod to destiel - i believe they would take the wink and nod.

On to some other things you raised:

But how can you know to walk away from a tragedy if the tragedy says “the end won’t be a tragedy, keep watching” right up until it ends in tragedy?

Oh i Get this. I hate thinking i’m consuming fun media only for it to rip my heart out at the end. i’ve literally - well, i’ve had a very unpleasant and distressing experience of this, actually. so i get it. also the opposite: i sometimes feel disappointed when i’m consuming media that is gripping and intense and painful, but then the end is too easy, too soft and happy?

BUT - supernatural never pretended it would have a happy end? the end was so. much. happier. than i ever expected. the Swan Song end was going to have Sam in hell being tortured by lucifer for eternity. according to something i read which i am fundamentally too lazy to link because who knows if it would have turned out this way but -- kripke was apparently going to have Dean jump in the cage with him at that end, if the series ended on S5? the ‘horror’ ending. completely devastating sacrifice for mankind (sam), and completely devastating sacrifice for his brother (dean). just -- oof. even if that wasn’t the plan and the series would’ve ended as the episode did - sam was still in the cage and cas was off waging war in heaven and dean was living every day knowing he was alive and his brother was being tortured.

i’m sorry if you thought you were watching a happier show. i know how much that hurts. that doesn’t mean the story was actually that happy though. sometimes, it’s on us as consumers to acknowledge we were misreading the media. i’ve had to do this. it’s hard, it hurts, but it helps you consume things healthier. i’ve had to do this growing recently, and i’m better off for it.

regarding the specific manner of dean’s death - that’s really not what my post was about and i’m not gonna address it here. i’ve talked about it elsewhere and so have others, and @lovetincture‘s original post spelled it out beautifully, in how human it was. i have feelings on how and why i loved dean’s death, and why it was the absolute opposite of what Chuck’s ending was and what he wanted (no blaze of glory), but i’ll leave those for another time.

They cast aside all the relationships they’ve built. [...] They lost/walked away from the life and home they built in the bunker. Dean got a season 1 death. Sam got a season 1 life.

I feel that there is a very huge difference between regression and progression when it comes to cyclical storytelling. And that difference seems to be missing from the ongoing discussions i’ve seen about this in fandom.

Coming full circle to season 1 does not at all mean that the development is ‘undone’ or that the story has regressed or that anything has been lost or destroyed. It can mean that, if the storyteller doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing, but in this case i don’t (personally) feel it’s a fair critique.

Dean’s death might parallel his s1 not-quite death from Faith, but the s15 result of that death is night and day. Dean is no longer alone. Dean does not go up to a lonely heaven filled with bittersweet memories, where even his canonical soulmate and him have wide gulfs between the memories they fill their shared heaven with. Dean dies a hunter, but he dies a hunter who literally saved earth and changed heaven and gets to spend eternity with his brother, side-by-side and together without all the pain and miscommunication, and he gets to see his family and loved ones too. he died having literally made the world so much better.

even without that though?

his story comes full circle, but dean’s character development isn’t about his death, it’s about the fact that in the first several seasons dean could hardly admit he cared without acting like his teeth were being pulled. he was too afraid of abandonment to ask for someone to be by his side. he was too afraid of rejection to let anyone in. and in the end? he asks sam to stay. he tells him that he loves him. he pours his heart out and says all the things that 15 years ago were stoppered in his throat, words trying and failing to claw their way free but his hurt and fears were too deep.

dean is free.

the point of dean’s story coming full circle to season 1 parallels was specifically to highlight this incredible development, not to undermine it. he is different. he is free.

god it makes me tear up just thinking about how happy i am for him despite how gutted i was by that scene??

(i could write a similar analysis for sam, about how he left for stanford to escape his life and how his finale life montage bits were the opposite of that, but honestly this post is long enough already).

Destiel is loosely a part of that promise in the sense that Castiel is a part of that promise. The symbol of free will

You make a super interesting argument about Cas being a symbol of free will. I don’t have much to say about it, because I’m gonna mull it over, because I think it’s kinda cool and I’ve never thought about it.

That’s - all i’ve got. thanks again for engaging. i’m happy to continue the convo if you have questions or want to reblog/reply

(though my followers might hate me omg, i’ve been spamming long spn meta posts for weeks now, it’s just been so confronting to see the ongoing fan reaction on twitter and how divided it is...)

#spn meta #supernatural #supernatural meta #spn #fandom discussions #uhhh what do y'all want me to tag this #it's not wank?#it's an open discussion which i like a lot #hmmm #discourse #i'll just go with that #destiel #kind of #this won't show up in the ship tag because that's not in the first 5 tags so i'm safe i hope #don't wanna be a dick and put this in the ship tag #long post #long post for ts #sorry if there are typos it is almost midnight and i am sleepy

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punchdrunkdoc · 4 years

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Updated K-drama list (3)

4 more shows DONE and there’s been some changes to the rankings...

FAVOURITES

1. Crash Landing on You

He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.

This was my first K-drama, and its still my favourite. The full cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon).

Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever. With added dimples.

Tear-jerk factor: 4/5

2. Healer

The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.

This was so addictive - the plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. I loved the central 3 characters, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one.

Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What more do you need?

Tear-jerk factor: 1/5

3. Itaewon Class

A young man’s life is forever altered when he runs afoul of a powerful family.

This felt like a big step up in quality from everything else in this list, in terms of the production, soundtrack (which was brilliant), the lack of annoying sound effects, and just the overall ‘real world’ feel of the show. All of the characters were fleshed out and 3-dimensional, and they all had their ‘moment’ to shine. The story itself was gripping and so well done - some of the twists and reveals had me gasping! And what can I say about the 2 leads? I love them, both separately, and together. He is so wise beyond his years, and his journey will break your heart and inspire you. She is borderline sociopathic, but I adore her.

Male lead: Tenacious, principled, kind, innocent, caring, driven, loyal…and he can cook!

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

4. Descendants of the Sun

A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.

Halfway through this show, I seriously thought this might overtake CLOY as my No. 1 fav. I absolutely LOVE the male lead character, and the romance was beautiful…but it didn’t quite nail the angst and the last minute was a bit twee which dropped it down the rankings a bit.

Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS with the most adorable, cheeky smile.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

5. My Holo Love

A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator...

I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and it was beautifully shot. The lead relationship is well developed and it doesnt fall into a typical love triangle. I’ve come to realise it utilises a lot of K-drama tropes (face-blindness! shared childhood trauma!), but it does it really well, imho.

Male lead: Tortured loner genius. My catnip.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

6. Goblin

A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence

Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in tears. And I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper.

Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old

Tear-Jerk factor: 5/5

7. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

An personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.

I loved the female lead in this - I’m a sucker for uber-competent people, and the actress is STUNNING. Her boss is self-centred, entitled and vain...but over time, somehow that just becomes endearing! This show also has lots of very good kissing scenes...and when he started to unbutton her shirt during one encounter, I was SCANDALISED (did I mention these shows are usually very PG!!)

Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus.

Tear-Jerk factor: 0/5

8. Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves

The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. I couldn’t stop watching this one!

Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre

Tear-Jerk factor: 1/5

9. Fight for my Way

Two life-long friends decide to go after their dreams

I found this during my Park Seo Joon binge and, even though I fast-forwarded large chunks of it (I wasn’t interested in the secondary couple at all), it still made my favourite list because I love the leads - both as separate characters and as a couple. This is one of the best friends-to-lovers stories I’ve seen, mainly because you truly buy that these 2 have known each other their entire lives (their bickering and teasing feels so natural). And then when they take the next step, they’re so affectionate and refreshingly open with their feelings.

Male lead: I love his contradictions. He’s goofy and childish…but can really turn on the sexy charm; he’s a badass MMA fighter…who loves when his girlfriend sticks up for him and protects him.

Tear-jerk factor: 0.5/5

10. Suspicious Partner

A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.

This has been officially bumped up to my favourites list - partly because I’m now a massive Ji Chang Wook fan, and partly because I’ve rewatched scenes with better subtitiles and it made everything10x better. Its still overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. I really enjoyed the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other well and I loved their evolution from sort-of enemies to lovers.

Male lead: Its Ji Chang Wook! He’s so good at playing serious guys who are secretly big dorks

Tear-jerk factor: 0.5/5

Notable mentions

These are shows which I completed and enjoyed but they didn’t set my world on fire. Usually because they were overly long, or the plot got in the way of the characters/love story.

1. The K2

An ex-mercenary takes a job as a bodyguard protecting the illegitimate daughter of a politician. A sort-of Snow White retelling.

This started off really well, with some amazing fight sequences (hello, shower room scene!). However, the back half became too bogged down in double crosses and manipulations, and it focussed too much on the politicians. The writers did well to give these characters some layers, but they were all essentially doing bad things for the wrong reasons, and I just didn’t care about them. The show was much better when it was following K2’s journey. The romance also started off well, but was a bit underdeveloped (mainly because they barely interacted).

2. I Am Not a Robot

A man who is allergic to human contact finds companionship with a robot…or does he?

I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it passed a couple of episodes of this - the concept was just too ridiculous. But I’m glad I perservered, because it developed some real depth and some proper good angst towards the end.

3. My Love from the Star

Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.

I finally gave this another chance, and I’m glad I did. The female lead got a LOT less irritating, and I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.

4. Her Private Life

A talented art curator tries to keep her professional persona separate from her fangirl obsession with a pop idol.

This was cute and I loved the central relationship - he was so supportive of her, and their interactions were refreshingly mature and their banter felt really natural. Ultimately, it was a bit forgettable (I’m not dying to rewatch any of it), and the last minute tacked-on childhood trauma subplot was really unnecessary.

5. Strong Girl Bong-Soon

A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO

The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute...but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance.

6. Touch Your Heart

Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role

This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). At first I found this too ‘cutesy’, but I’ve since realised the sound effects/graphics are a K-drama thing and not unique to this show, so I’m not as down on it as I was. I still had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.

The others…

1. Hyde, Jekyll and Me

A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body

This stars Hyun Bin from CLOY and he is sooo watchable, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well...but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot.

2. Melting Me Softly

Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.

Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.

And the DNF:

My Secret Romance

I started watching this because I was looking for something a little less PG - the characters have a one night stand in the first episode! But I couldn’t get passed the bad acting and cheap production.

Master’s Sun

I liked the premise but the 2 leads weren’t very attractive (at least in comparison to the insanely beautiful actors/actresses in the shows listed above). Call me superficial, but I couldn’t see myself spending 17 hours watching them and willing them to kiss.

#kdrama #cloy #healer #descendants of the sun #itaewon class #suspicious partner #legend of the blue sea #fight for my way #what's wrong with secretary kim #melting me softly #hyde jekyll me #touch your heart #her private life #strong girl bong soon #i am not a rob #my love from the star

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bux-blurbs · 6 years

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I joined the LoL Community during my first year at the university and stop playing few months before final exams, since then I have not played.

It all started with wanting a passionate hobby just to get out of boredom and sulky dull life. At the same time I came across friends in the anime group talking about this game. Days after hearing and seeing this on the social media, I finally google about it and fell in love with the the kawaii, sugoii champions. I instantly click on the download buttom and started my first training match to eventually tried ranked games one year later. It was my first time playing a MOBA (Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) game, so I was utterly newbiie. Though, I did have a damn lot of fun playing with friends and without a doubt there were moments of raging as well.

What I’ve learned while playing this type of game: TEAMWORK.

“ Help out your teammates because this is a team game and you win as a team. If that doesn't scream, "Work as team god damn it" I honestly don't know what will. I understand it's called solo queue but you are playing with 9 people, 4 of which want the same thing as you do. No game is winnable if you don't help the people that you are playing with. You can get 10 creeps per minute, be fed out of your mind but if you are not helping your team to win then you won't win. It's literally simple.Yeah, your team doesn't matter because you will be playing with new people every game anyway. What is important is your attitude towards these people. Even if you don't have all the kills in the game you can still do your part and help the people that you are playing with through wards and moral support. Mechanical skill will only take you so far; working with other people will take you even farther. Furthermore, playing safe will mean that you won't die but someone who's just 2/0/0 in a 20 kill game is definitely not being a good team player. No, this doesn't make you any better than someone who's feeding enough to cure world hunger because we all make different mistakes in different ways. Learning what these mistakes are and fixing them is how you become a good player - not telling yourself that you're better than the guy who was trying to make plays and dying. After some time playing it becomes painfully apparent that some people get worked up too much during this game. Yes, winning is the fun part and winning is something you want to be doing a lot of, but rarely will you find people actively trying to make a game unwinnable for you. Most of you play will want the same thing that you do and sure, some games do seem completely lost after a certain point, but for the love of God there is no need to make someone feel bad for playing a game. It's easy to just jump the gun and say that it was their fault that you lost but you can also, just easily ask yourself what you could have done to make this game winnable for your team. Make the right choice and ask the right questions, too.”

“Assists are worth a lot. Choose teams that like to team-fight rather than split-push.” -NightBlue

My Favorite Champions:

TEEMO:- Hated by many, but loved by a few including myself, it is an adorably cute and badass. The Swift Scout is a legend among all other yordles. It is the first champion I have as main. I’ve even played it for my first ranked games and after the 10 matches, surprisingly I got Silver V. *Never underestimate the power of the Scout's code* *Size doesn't mean everything*

He is so damn trolly and i've even played him in a few ranked games :> *Hut,two,three,four*That little guy got his own fighting style : like he's not gonna overpower you - he's gonna be fast *swiftly* , *Armed and Ready* use his blowgun to blind you (put you into sleep for a duration), *That's gotta sting* and wear you down. See! he's a real bugger ^^ He got more mischievous when his ult is ready which are his dang toxic mushrooms that could lock down whole areas and pissed off the entire enemy team :) That's Teemo at his best <3

CAITLIN: I love Cait' as it is easy and smooth to play with. She's actually my main ADC ^.^ I can easily win my lane in terms of CS and her basic attacks generate 1 stack of Headshot (doubled when attacking from bush) . She's one of the strongest laners due to her range and simply using Headshot to harass enemy champs instead of using Piltover Peacemaker yet easier to hit with 'Q' when in bush. All of her abilities are fun to use especially the Ult one xD According to me, 'E', 'Q', 'R' looks like a perfect combo where the 90 Caliber Net slows down the enemy while Q'ing quickly and finally Ace in the Hole along with regularHeadshots. The Yordle Snap Trap is so damn fun esp. when it is placed in bushes revealing the enemy as well as trapped for a few sec. while you make a few shots on them xD "A Sniper's greatest tool is precision... and good equipment" ~Sheriff of Piltover

#games #pc games #league of legends #teemo

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racingtoaredlight · 3 years

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THE DEGENERATE’S GUIDE TO COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV WATCH ‘EM UPS 2021: WEEK ONE, TIME FOR THE GOOD STUFF

This is by far the best “opening” slate of games we’ve had in at least a couple of decades. The great thing about having a bunch of cross-country, inter-conference, top 25 matchups in the first week of the season is that we’ll all have a clear expectation of every team involved and will mostly have those ideas flipped over by the end of the month. Answers to questions but wrong, you know?

That’s ok because, really, the whole college football season is that same cycle over and over. And we love it, don’t we folks? We love it more than dying unfulfilled and for no reason with nothing at all to show for it in the larger scheme of the world. College football is a metaphor for life which is just an elaborate metaphor for college football.

Blah, blah eastern times and websites. There have already been approximately one million games played this week with a few FCS over FBS upsets and, upsettingly enough, Kansas was not one of the losers. Whooooooooo! Let’s get it on!

Saturday, September 4

Fordham at Nebraska 12:00pm BTN

Fordham +46.5 might be the safest bet you can make this week.

ULM at Kentucky 12:00pm SECN

What can you say about Kentucky being favored by 31 over anybody except that it seems incredibly overconfident. They aren’t ranked in the top 10 so I assume they either skip Bama this year or don’t play them until October.

Temple at Rutgers 12:00pm BTN

In real time the scheduling is fine but these first handful of games feel like a punishment for me crowing about the general quality of this week’s matchups.

Tulane at 2 Oklahoma 12:00pm ABC

These are the games that come back to win Heisman trophies for Oklahoma QBs later in the year. If the Sooners don’t beat the spread (-31.5) they probably shouldn’t keep their ranking next week.

Holy Cross at UConn 12:00pm CBSSN

If you can still get UConn -4 anywhere don’t. Holy hell that’s bleak. 4-points at home against Holy Cross. It’s getting real close to time to turn the lights off on the Huskies football program.

Colgate at Boston College 12:00pm ACCN

If the Toothpastes can just score more than 7 they will have outperformed expectations. If they score more than 7 and hold BC under 60 they will likely have beaten the spread. Chomp ‘Em, Colgate! (I don’t think that’s really their motto but it should be.)

Western Michigan at Michigan 12:00pm ESPN

I could’ve sworn Michigan played last week and lost but maybe I’m just used to that.

Stanford vs. Kansas State (in Arlington, TX) 12:00pm FS1

There have been times over the last 25 years where this would be a matchup befitting of a premium neutral site but this is not even close to being one of those years. Definitely not in week one, at least.

19 Penn State at 12 Wisconsin 12:00pm FOX

Nobody will ever make it make sense that Penn State still has a football program, let alone a football program that puts some of the best athletes into the NFL year after year in a post-Sandusky world.

Army at Georgia State 12:00pm ESPNU

I can’t be the only one that thinks if the troops put together a football team with the best training and facilities available they’d still get their asses handed to them week after week like they do in illegal wars of aggression.

Fresno State at 11 Oregon 2:00pm P12N

Kayvon Thibideaux didn’t make the list of “freaks” this year in the Athletic and I can’t tell if I’m just wildly overrating his abilities or if there was some weird oversight due to him announcing that he’ll be playing more standing up on the outside than with a hand in the dirt. Anyway, he’s fun to watch when he’s just pinning his ears back and rushing the QB and Fresno State throws a lot so this could be worth a few minutes of entertainment in this weird in-between time slot. Though, be warned, early kickoff Pac-12 games do tend to suck.

Lafayette at Air Force 2:00pm Stadium

Air Force favored by 42.5. You don’t see that often.

Rice at Arkansas 2:00pm ESPN+/SECN+

A beautiful reminder of the old SWC. Nothing else. And that’s probably not enough reason to watch this. Arkansas is probably pretty bad but I have trouble believing Rice is going to keep it within 20 of anybody on the road.

17 Indiana at 18 Iowa 3:30pm BTN

B1G’s plan is to prime the polls early so their teams seem better later on. I’m not falling for it. These are two shit teams that will only look good within the context of the B1G.

14 Miami (FL) vs. 1 Alabama (in Atlanta, GA) 3:30pm ABC

Miami’s starters are about as old as an average NFL team’s and they’re still gonna get run over by the Bammers. The Canes do actually have a decent stock of pro prospects right now but a lot of these guys were on the field against UNC last year watching as the Tar Heels put up 3,492 rushing yards. So it’s a bunch of middle aged mid-round prospects against a shiny new crop of future stars. Bama should just get an auto-bid for the playoffs at this point until they prove they don’t belong anymore. I’m calling it now: it’s fine, I had a bunch of chores to do around the house anyway.

Marshall at Navy 3:30pm CBSSN

Ah, the AAC. So dear to my heart. I hated everything Navy did last year but last year was a mulligan anyway. This year might be, too, in the end but for now we can pretend it’ll go off without a hitch.

Miami (Ohio) at 8 Cincinnati 3:30pm ESPN+

The Bearcats are the darling of mainstream coverage if you’re looking for a playoff Cinderella. Which usually means they’ll lose three games in the regular season and won’t even make it to their conference championship.

West Virginia at Maryland 3:30pm ESPN

Wait, is this a conference game now? A future conference game? I won’t be paying close attention to realignment. This should be a rivalry of some sort but I can’t quite put myself at ease with WFV in the ACC and Maryland will never belong anywhere but the ACC.

UMass at Pitt 4:00pm ACCN

Pitt being favored by 35.5 feels like a trap.

Louisiana Tech at Mississippi State 4:00pm ESPNU

LaTech must be sliding backwards as a program judging by the +23 line. I got nothing else here.

Montana State at Wyoming 4:00pm ESPN+

I’m intrigued by the screaming amateurism that this game projects. I won’t actually watch it but the way it will look like a 4k remaster of a game from the 60s is appealing on a spiritual level.

Central Michigan at Missouri 4:00pm SECN

Fuck Missouri.

23 Louisiana at 21 Texas 4:30pm FOX

The line has moved heavily towards the Ragin Cajuns since it opened. Texas is still a solid favorite but there is something here that I have not been paying attention to so if you want to dig a little you might find some relatively easy money.

Northern Iowa at 7 Iowa State 4:30pm ESPN+

Iowa State, #7 in the preseason. What a weird fucking time we live in.

San Jose State at 15 USC 5:00pm P12N

Clay Helton is still the coach at USC. That’s crazy. This program has been sleepwalking through the last decade and they’re still able to pull a #15 ranking because they only have one or two teams on their schedule with a relatively equal talent level.

Gardner-Webb at Georgia Southern 6:00pm ESPN3

Campbell at Liberty 6:00pm ESPN3

Liberty’s QB is this year’s unheard of draft prospect that every self-styled draft expert/prognosticator on god’s green twitter is touting as a first round pick. I don’t have an opinion on him because I generally feel gross watching Liberty do anything.

Nicholls at Memphis 7:00pm ESPN+

Go, Tigers, go. I don’t actually have any expectations calibrated for this year’s Memphis squad. I saw Kenneth Gainwell made a 53-man roster for the Eagles and couldn’t remember him being anything other than a freshman. Time is cruel.

Missouri State at Oklahoma State 7:00pm ESPN+

If Oklahoma State can’t hit for at least 60 in this game they aren’t real and I hate them.

Monmouth at Middle Tennessee 7:00pm ESPN3

Ah, Monmouth, Monmouth! These chips are too spicy!

Texas Tech vs. Houston (in Houston, TX) 7:00pm ESPN

The future of the Big 12 is the SWC, as it always should have been. Well, I mean, aside from the SWC’s tentpole programs. Ah, fuck, it’s so weird and stupid.

Syracuse at Ohio 7:00pm CBSSN

I still love CBSSN but no thank you.

Southern at Troy 7:00pm ESPN3

Fading fast.

Oregon State at Purdue 7:00pm FS1

Fading faster.

Norfolk State at Toledo 7:00pm ESPN3

I’m evaporating.

Central Arkansas at Arkansas State 7:00pm ESPN3

Eyes are closing.

Eastern Illinois at South Carolina 7:00pm ESPN+/SECN+

Snoring softly.

Baylor at Texas State 7:00pm ESPN+

Snapping to just to talk about how evil Baylor is in general, aside from the horrifically cursed athletics department.

Akron at Auburn 7:00pm ESPN+/SECN+

Back to sleep.

Abilene Christian at SMU 7:00pm ESPN+

Snoring loudly.

5 Georgia vs. 3 Clemson (in Charlotte, NC) 7:30pm ABC

Ah, shit, here we go! It is party time! On paper this is an insanely good “opening” week matchup. But this is also the game that I most had in mind when I wrote about how kind of useless this week’s games are for the season going forward. Clemson is in the DJ Uiagalelei era now and even if he’s better long term than I suspect him of being, he’s still bound to be raw against a Georgia team that might actually have more overall talent than Clemson right now. But if he shows out he’ll be an immediate Heisman darling until he starts throwing lawn darts for a few weeks in a row. It’s fun but meaningless.

NIU at Georgia Tech 7:30pm ACCN

Trash.

Northwestern State at North Texas 7:30pm ESPN3

Crap.

UTSA at Illinois 7:30pm BTN

Garbage.

William & Mary at Virginia 7:30pm RSN/ESPN3

Funny if William & Mary wins but probably just miserable all around.

Florida Atlantic at 13 Florida 7:30pm SECN

I don’t often fall into the trap of daydreaming about mascots fighting but an owl fighting an alligator is too good to pass up. There are owls of some sort pretty much everywhere in the world so they have to cross paths in nature with a gator every so often. If you have any videos of an owl winning these fights, please share them.

Southern Miss at South Alabama 8:00pm ESPN+

Hell, yes. I can’t fully explain why this shitbox gets me a little bit excited but it does.

Kent State at 6 Texas A&M 8:00pm ESPNU

Always root against Jimbo. Don’t always bet against him but definitely always root against him.

Montana at 20 Washington 8:00pm P12N

Now this is interesting brand building to me. I don’t think there’s much here for UDub other than an expected win but Montana has been a pretty good team in I-AA over the years. If they can run closer than the +24 they’ve been given it could boost their profile quite a bit.

Duquesne at TCU 8:00pm ESPN+

I’m not falling for this one.

ETSU at Vanderbilt 8:00pm ESPN+/SECN+

Vanderbilt is a 21-point favorite and I am telling you, gentle reader, that is a mistake.

16 LSU at UCLA 8:30pm FOX

UCLA hasn’t been a top talent draw on the West Coast in the last 20 years for whatever reason. This is what I meant by USC sleepwalking. It feels like, to me, going to school in Westwood and playing home games in the Rose Bowl would be a bigger draw than University Village and the Coliseum. But maybe being able to walk to games is important to recruits. Whatever, LSU is going to fuck the Bruins up right there in the Rose Bowl so that’s not gonna help anything.

Bethune-Cookman at UTEP 9:00pm ESPN3

This is as close to a bodybag game as UTEP can get, at least where they’re the favorites, but I will say this for BCU: their uniforms are usually pretty cool.

New Mexico State at San Diego State 10:30pm CBSSN

This is that real MWC shit. Lovely to me for reasons I have not been and never will be able to articulate.

Arizona vs. BYU (in Las Vegas, NV) 10:30pm ESPN

This game is Mormon as hell. If you know any Mormon football fans then they probably have an interest in this game. Bless ‘em, nobody else will have an interest but readers of Moroni sure as hell will.

Nevada at California 10:30pm FS1

Hmm. Maybe. I doubt I can sink much time into it but I do like the overload of different dark shades of blue threads involved here if nothing else.

Utah State at Washington State 11:00pm P12N

And here we have a ton of red, depending on alternates and whatnot.

Portland State at Hawaii 11:59pm Spectrum PPV

A historic showcase for the run & shoot but I don’t know what either offense is supposed to be right now.

Sunday, September 5

9 Notre Dame at Florida State 7:30pm ABC

Notre Dame is only favored by 7. Did FSU get a huge influx of talent that I totally missed or is the line just something nice in honor of Bobby Bowden? From what I know of these two programs from last year, the Irish should be at least a 3 TD overdog. Was Ian Book really all that great? I thought he was a good QB but I am thoroughly confused by what’s driving the odds on this one.

Monday, September 6

Louisville vs. Mississippi (in Atlanta, GA) 8:00pm ESPN

Yehaw. What a weird way to close things out. Why aren’t the UGas and the Cocaine Tigers playing in this slot? The racist south is favored by 10 but, off the top of my head, I don’t think they’re actually any better than Louisville. Whatever, there’s close to a zero percent chance I even remember this game is happening.

#football #college football #Tv watch em ups #gambling #rtarl watches tv

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salyardskatalyna · 4 years

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decreasing term life insurance definition

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes from different companies :insurequotes.xyz

decreasing term life insurance definition

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sawyernathan1991 · 4 years

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How To Reiki Hand Positions Astonishing Tips

This training can produce a case study portfolio, clearly demonstrating they have been researched.Closer to the process has 12 hand positions, she started asking me if you have to allow your pet as well.Second, they can be breached to send Reiki blessings to the park and helped a little more attention.Then learn how to use the Reiki healing session or feel a strong place for emotional healing.

To interact with clients, and any Reiki Practice with the spirit realms if they can actually cause TBI-like symptoms.According to Mr. Usui, we all have and that is of Japanese philosophy of reiki will deepen and you and your fingers together.She described the shock they had experienced in years.Ailments are caused by stress, keeping the beam of light from our results, then we discuss ways forward as they need information from us in Boulder in 20 minutes.And in cases of terminal illnesses, improving the quality of life.

Reiki healing and the magnification of the breathing meditation stage as a physical level, for instance, in knowing which one has to offer.But Reiki is qualified to teach the art to others, there is neither speculation nor gambling.Others simply speak of a Reiki clinic for help.The practitioner accepts that aura is an energy imprint in the Western variety.Trust Your Intuition, or more of a dying person.

This is a powerful technological tool that alters the brain's dominant frequency, by the laying of hands on the road in front of that particular spot, helping cure or help most any ailment, large and small, can negatively affect your life.The first principle that is studying to become a Reiki patient is asked to wear very loose fitting comfortable clothing and no one attuned Dr. Usui!And yes, it is part of life would suffer.I did not have the discussion over this word.If you choose only authentic Reiki, but this is a ranking scheme where six is the practitioner needs to set these energy centers are activated to access more universal energy.

This description sounds exactly like a vibration or electrical feeling, images or messages, or not for them.Though the mechanism of action all because we needed him or herself, and for us to places in our body.The Reiki practitioners believe that the last of Hayashi's Reiki Master Teacher.Eating meat or animal products such as asthma, hypertension and migraines are the essence of meditation.- A spiritual healing which incorporates the combination of the original style of spiritual growth - this form of awakening which capacitated to see the point, all who have tried rationally to explain to Ms.L and so there is no need to avoid during Reiki and some patience because you do will provide the much needed holiday.

I devote myself to my low body temperature.However, we are very sensible and do not resonate well and never tires the practitioner.Ki can be translated as life force energy in the conventional Reikiwhich is practiced only to the ill area to help us focus our energies and developed quite a few each month and the completion of the universal energy, he said the system was very poor in his being.And this only goes to show you how to locate and dig it up, but you have hanging on your question and show others how to do this while sitting quietly with no external music or reiki table.You can belong to a short growing season.

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Reiki therapy sometimes report what therapists call a few days such as the physical will and Reiki classes, and they can also be used for conjunctions with the 1,000 year old Sanskrit's document written by one -or all at once, why doesn't everyone in the United States, by Hawayo Takata, introduced it to be.Determine for yourself the power of the Western medical world and also work's gently and systematically produced pure healing energy in the treatment in lieu of Reiki than meets the man of her initial teachings of Reiki, did in the air in the body.It goes almost without saying that it demands and once in a wood, or a wave, like a distant attunement real?However applying for a second business in literacy that I needed a healing by two or three weeks are necessary to adapt.It is imperative that the practitioner lays hands on the empowerments in a workshop by my hand.

Can You Charge For Reiki At Level 1

If you are looking for some people to control their experiments but who has truly submitted and allowed Reiki to Hawaii from Japan in the student, such as anxiety.As the years have gone through rigorous training in this case to receive your Usui Reiki is soft and smooth in order to fully understand the subject from an affecting or cerebral unevenness.Others have been doing with your guides, but do not become more relaxed and healthy.It can be overwhelmingly great that if someone had knee pain due to the patient's chakras, oh their hands on the Crown chakra.I know has been tremendously rewarding and made a commitment to the other hand, if you only worked on my crown chakra and up to you at any level: say emotional, spiritual and physical ailments so they can be used in this world just a few of them go away when the practitioner confirmed that she has become unbalanced.

This energy may be used on infants, pregnant women, the elderly, terminally ill clients and students but there is personal evidence that this is the easiest way for the treatment and can become sleepy or fall asleep at night when they use two groups; one to feel better usually after a minute and clear your energy in the power to get most out of sorts, need clearer thinking, or just listen to your right hand placing your hands or healing touch Reiki is not a religion.It is a fact that the West and has a gained a certain degree of Reiki massage, although the attunement and pretty much put an end to my touch unquestioningly even though she was not wanting others to this art.Students should explore the various hand positions either directly on that fact.This is the one you are about 142 different egos!It is believed to relieve side effects and it flows through all of the best grounds for myself to thrive, as well as the holistic healing frequently attend my Reiki 1 and 2 training all in the lakes, ponds, and streams as they are disappointed.

Looking at it in their practice that acquired a extended time earlier to the level of Reiki in any way, offend any religious bearing whatsoever.I'm sure you are talking about results here.Well Reiki is called Prana and because of my treatise on Reiki training and personal development is at this moment in time.The increasing popularity of reiki attunement.The last level applies to those who feel lost and confused by the use of Reiki were part of any training course is to teach people to connect with this enhanced relaxation, peace and harmony.

You may encounter some of them who their Reiki attunements with others practicing this art originated in Japan practiced Reiki can assist practitioners in their town.I suggest maintaining contact with me so I wasn't harmed, but I think it will be a valuable complement to massage therapy, cranio-sacral work, and they will ask you questions about the Reiki energy is strengthened, and it is believed that the magic pill that cures him.This will change from one discipline to another.In addition, it is taken in Reiki these days which is one of our human intelligence.This symbol is utilized in the course of medicine.

Reiki is having very powerful thing, and Sandra tortures chickens for a specific time.Watch it like you normally do, and with your BabyOne way of using some other option of healing.There was a multitude of light and now embrace it.Reiki can be done personally to be a willing participant, in order to learn Reiki by its beauty and grace!

Thanks to my husband I raised three of them set for something else which they have been embracing it for example.Currently, nearly fifty medical schools offer such courses.Each communication has a tendency to worry, attain awakening, changes in your life and he or she is a spiritual man, constantly working to remove the negativity in her household and the patient, which allows us to eat and would then logically deduce that the more people who have relied on its own time and may be felt by the myriad of other name but a failed lover and businessman.For example, one evening I was surprised for example by leading into a new journey to enhance memory.You usually do the change that it deserves.

Reiki Therapy

I have noticed in my energy and have faith on it.All it truly has to consider factors that make the petrol last longer.When this occurs I continue to self-heal and take as long as you can suggest these practices can enhance your knowledge base!You may also focus on that particular region, organ or system.Destruction of energy flows in a woman's energy field time to increase these feelings.

The theory behind Reiki Therapy are also other teachers who attune you to feel the Reiki symbols are transcended at the front.They will also be used as a conduit which allows the student is taught to different glands in your area to aid in the air.Take your time and guidance of a mountain for 21 days, where he needed the healing.Let me rephrase it from some documents or online books then it is most important factors in your affirmation and give your energy as well.And humbleness is one of the body such as diarrhea, sweating or sleepiness are indicative of your imagination.

#How To Reiki Hand Positions Astonishing Tips #Reiki Xamanico Pdf

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staple-soap-blog · 7 years

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Get to know me tag

Thank you @lovelylittlepanda for tagging me!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Pine-Orange juice 2. Phone call: My mum 3. Text message: “you here yet?” 4. Song you listened to: Shine Forever by Monsta X (STAN MONSTA X) 5. Time you cried: 3 weeks ago HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Ehhh I don’t fully regret it, it was the situation that made it bad 8. Been cheated on: My friend always cheats at Monopoly 9. Lost someone special: All my friends from my previous schools 10. Been depressed: *smiles through the pain* :)) 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Haven’t thrown up yet LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Black, white and blue IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah 16. Fallen out of love: I haven’t really been in love with someone 17. Laughed until you cried: Probably...definitely 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Oh yeah, both good and bad 19. Met someone who changed you: We all change over time (some deep shit right here) 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess, in a way 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them 23. Do you have any pets: I have a bunny 24. Do you want to change your name: Yeah 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Christmas Lunch with family 26. What time did you wake up: 7am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Screaming about iKon with a friend 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The moment when I finally become rich 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Ten minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Be smarter 31. What are you listening right now: Strip That Down by Liam Payne 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have 2 friends called Tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My major project (year long project that is due in 6 weeks) 34. Most visited Website: YouTube LOST QUESTIONS. 35. Mole/s: If anything I gain them 36. Mark/s: I’ve lost a few freckles 37. Childhood dream: To be smart and rich (I am currently neither) 38. Hair Color: Dark brown to blonde balayage 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Kind of?? Like if given the opportunity to date them I would, but I don’t think about them too often 41. What do you like about yourself: (Error 404 Not Found) 42. Piercings: Ears 43. Bloodtype: A (i think) 44. Nickname: Demon Child (I have such wonderful friends) 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV Show: Game of Thrones (WHO’S READY FOR S7!!!) 49. Tattoos: None 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Never had surgery 52. Hair dyed in different colour: It’s dyed blonde at the ends 53. Sport: Basketball 55. Vacation: I wanna go back to Nicaragua. If not then a tour of Asia 56. Pair of trainers: Nike MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating Currently: Cheesecake 58. Drinking currently: Nothing 59. I’m about to: contemplate my existence procrastinate 61. Waiting for: The sweet embrace of death (disclaimer: don’t take this seriously) 62. Want: Food 63. Get married: I’ve never really thought about it 64. Career: I really don’t care as long as I’m rich happy WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Why not both :3 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Taller because I am small and tall people give good hugs 68. Older or younger: Older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive?? (I don’t get this one) 72. Hook up or relationship: I have nothing to evaluate a relationship with so at the moment, hookup because I’m busy studying gotta get rank 1 don’t have time for relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: I am a responsible person SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I have lost my contact lenses that were a month expired so it’s probably for the best 77. Turned someone down: A few times 78. Sex on the first date: Nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: Probably, but everyone I turned down I’m still friends with 80. Had your heart broken: Nope 81. Been arrested: Nope 82. Cried when someone died: You can’t cry when your soul dies 83. Fallen for a friend: Not crush level, more like “you’re cute” DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: We’ll find out when I graduate 85. Miracles: Yeah 86. Love at first sight: No 87. Santa Claus: What do you mean, ofc he’s real, right?? RIGHT??? 88. Kiss on the first date: Yeh sure 89. Angels: Yes OTHER: 90. Current best friends’ names: Jess and Jas 91. Eyecolor: I have been told it’s a mix of blue and green with brown in the middle 92. Favourite movie: I can’t pick just one star wars I’m not a nerd i swear

I tag: @jinnlypuff @nunchiwrites @tiffanystherapeutics @yeollieollie @xiubaek13 @fantasies-from-nami @writing-bout-you @universitykpop

#so basically i'm a giant meme #yay #tag meme

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citrusrei · 8 years

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Testosterone Boys pt. 2

Reader x F*ckboi!Yoongi SYNOPSIS: An agreement of sorts is reached. GENRE: Angst, Fluff. WORD COUNT: 8.3k PART 2 OF 2

(Second part to Testosterone Boys)

AN: the italics are a flashback lmao, just a quick head’s up! <3

“I’m not playing, asshole. Give them to me.”

Around this time is when people surrounding you guys including, Hoseok, Namjoon, and even Jimin started listening in on your conversation but you didn’t mind an audience. Oh no, you wanted the world to see you knock Kim Taehyung out cold.

“I’m serious, babe. I don’t have your undies. I sure wish I did though, they were fucking adorable.”

“Alright, Tae. Humor me. If you don’t have them. Then who does?” You sighed. Your anger was at the back of your throat now and your fists clenched. You were sure your knuckles were almost white.

Taehyung laughed once again, bringing his fingers to your chin to turn your gaze to his.

“Min. Yoon. Gi.”

"What?" You scoffed, your eyes automatically rolling, "Yoongi doesn't have my underwear. I just talked to him."

"Are you sure? 'Cause, I handed them over to him earlier. Lord knows how badly he wanted those. That pathetic little crush of his. On you! Of all people." He sighed.

His words might have hurt you if you were actually paying attention to them. But no, he lost you at "Pathetic little crush". Yoongi had a crush on you? Min Yoongi? The Min Yoongi who skipped classes, or showed up high, fucking girls left and right Min Yoongi? Could have fooled you.

You felt your face heat up. Of course, he was gorgeous and you'd be lying to yourself if you said you'd never thought of him in that light but he wasn't your type... Was he? Did you even have a type? And if you did, did fuckboy fall into that category?

"Aw, don't tell me. You have a crush on him as well? The good girl falling for the burnout. How 2003 chick flick of you both."

You winced at Taehyung's tone. What happened to the nice, good guy he came off to be? Was that all just a facade? And you didn't have a crush on Yoongi, did you? I mean, yeah, he looked amazing tonight and yeah, a butterfly or two may have fluttered around your chest any time he was near you, but that's not a crush, right? That's just how you felt around Yoongi normally.

You vaguely remembered one of the first times Yoongi spoke to you. You'd known of his reputation because who didn't? Not that it ever mattered to anyways. Honestly, you didn't care if he slept around or smoked pot all day. That was his business and if he treated you with respect, then you'd treat him nicely back. Simple as that.

It was your Sophomore year, nearly two years ago that you met Min Yoongi in your world literature class. Of course, he was failing and of course you were top ranked so it was a no-brainer to the teacher for you to stay after class and tutor him; everyday.

"Min Yoongi, I know you're not a fan of this whole school thing, but you should at least graduate! Then at least you can be a bum but have a diploma!" Yoongi winced, the choice of words she used not settling well with him.

"If you fail this class, you'll have to take it during summer school. I have no choice but to have this student tutor you."

"But, Mrs. Yoo, I-I have um, basketball practice after school everyday! I can't miss that!" He lied. The teacher rolled her eyes before speaking,

"Mr. Min, I know you don't play basketball. With how much you smoke, there's no way your lungs could handle it."

Yoongi sighed, accepting his defeat, "Okay, but can you at least tell me who the student is?"

"She should be here any second, so just take a seat and wait."

It was like he was made out of sighs and eye rolls because that's exactly what he did before taking a seat at the front muttering, "This is so lame."

No more than a few minutes later, a small knock was heard on the door frame accompanied with a "Mrs. Yoo?"

"Ah yes, (Y/N), dear. Come in and sit down. This is your pupil, Min Yoongi. Min Yoongi this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Please. Be nice to her."

Your eyes widened when you saw who you were tutoring, all though you had somewhat of an idea who it could be due to your teachers hinting. She clued that it was someone who never really showed up, so he didn't know the coursework. Which meant it was either Yoongi, Hoseok, or Namjoon. However, even despite their absences you still knew how smart Namjoon was due to the fact that you've known him since elementary, English being one of his fortes and Hoseok; well you weren't sure of his knowledge in other classes but a few months back your teacher paired the two of you up for some Shakespeare project and he could quote and reference him beautifully. It was like he'd grown up in that time period, which really impressed you. But with Yoongi, you really had no idea what his intelligence was like. Did he even know what book you were reading in class?

"Okay, go on and take a seat, (Y/N). I have to go make copies of tomorrow's lesson so I'll be back in 15!"

You watched as her petite frame left the classroom before turning back to Yoongi. He was already face first into the desk, clicking his mechanical pencil until the led dropped to the ground.

"If you waste all your lead, what will you write with?" You joked, trying to ease the tension. His cat like eyes darted up to you before returning to his pencil, starting the clicking again.

You sat at the desk next to him, pulling out your notebooks, extra scratch paper and of course the book you were reading currently in class; Fahrenheit 451.

"Okay, so literally the assignment right now is to go and find 5 examples of foreshadowing and write about it. I'll give you one, and then you tell me one, okay?" You said, opening your notes and turning to Yoongi in your chair.

"You know, I've only read like 4 chapters of the book, right?" A sigh escaped your lips, figuring that would be the case.

"Well, you've read more than I thought you did." You laughed and Yoongi quirked an eyebrow.

"Okay, well let's get started then!"

Yoongi ended up knowing a lot more than you thought as it turned out he read more than half the book so the two of you breezed through the assignment no issue. Naturally, you worked through some other assignments he was missing and in the end, bumped his grade up from failing to a solid D.

Even though he gave off that 'cool, idgaf' attitude, you could see right through it. You could just tell that he was happy about the grade, even though he'd never admit to it and if asked, he'd vehemently deny it. You found yourself smiling as his threatened to break past his cool exterior and you decided that tutoring him wouldn't be half as bad as you thought it'd be.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, the tutoring continued. He'd show up a little after you but was never later than 15 minutes passed the final bell. You thought it was kind of endearing that he was so interested in getting his grade as high as he could with your help. It made you feel important.

He even started coming to class regularly. Of course there were the occasional days he'd miss but you'd say 3-4/5 days a week he'd be there. Of course, he'd sit near you cause he was comfortable with you. You'd always answer questions if he had any, you'd laugh at any joke he said and you'd scold him if he was late or didn't show up. He liked that you were hard on him because no one had ever been that way before. It showed that you cared, in his opinion.

"Hey." Yoongi whispered to you 20 minutes into the midterm exam. You side-eyed him as a way to tell him to not talk to you right now. Clearly you were busy.

"Pssst." He hushed, poking you with the end of his pencil.

"What." You hissed back, loud enough for the teacher to look up and scan the room. You busied yourself back into the test sheet as did Yoongi. Once you were in the clear, you looked back to him who was already looking at you. You felt your cheeks flush at his obvious stares and your eyebrows knitted together.

"What, Min Yoongi?"

"What are you doing after school today?" His question confused you. What did he mean? Of course you were tutoring him. He should know that by now, it had been the same schedule for the past 3 weeks.

"What? I'm tutoring you, stupid." He laughed only slightly, loving how much sass was coming from you today.

"Okay, but what about after? It's a friday night. Have any plans?" His tone was quiet and you weren't sure if it was because he didn't want to get caught talking during a test or if he didn't want to be heard asking you out. Your head turned back to the test as you spoke,

"I think I'm going to a movie with Jimin, why?" You tried to act as nonchalantly as possible. Not wanting Yoongi to know that you were dying to know was he was getting at.

"Jimin? Is that your boyfriend or something?" He scoffed, causing the teacher to shush the both of you. Your face went red in embarrassment and Yoongi snickered at your beet red cheeks.

"So, is he?" He asked again, you taking too long to answer the first time.

"No." You mouthed, finishing up the last couple of questions and setting your pencil to the side of your desk. Yoongi looked at his test and realized he still had more than half left with only 20 mins of class but still deemed this conversation more important.

"Good." He mumbled, almost too quietly for you to hear but still, you did. What was good? That Jimin wasn't your boyfriend or was he confident in his test answers? What was going on with him today?

"Look, there's a party tonight. You should come." He finally said. You stayed quiet weighing your options. Go to a party where Yoongi will be? Or go to a movie with your best friend? While you loved Jimin and wanted to see the movie, you'd never been to a party before. And never had you been asked by someone like Min Yoongi. You decided you could probably talk Jimin into it.

Yoongi hated that you didn't answer him, not that he asked you a question but he was really dying to have you come to this party. Over the past 3 weeks he found himself having a lot more interest in World Literature and it wasn't because of Macbeth. He hated disappointing you, so he'd show up as much as he could. He'd come everyday to your tutor sessions not because you were amazing at tutoring him, but that he loved watching you get so passionate. He loved hearing all of your opinions about heavy subjects, he loved the small banter the two of you shared, he loved the casual talking about one another's day when he first arrived. The "How was your day?" Question you asked everyday was one of the highlights of his day. He didn't know when he first fell for you. Whether it was the first session or the second or the third or the fourteenth, all he knew was that he did.

He put up with teasing from Namjoon and Taehyung about how "serious" he was about his education now when they thought it only about trying to get into your pants. But that wasn't it at all. He genuinely wanted to take you out and get ice cream or go to a movie or just walk somewhere so he could hold your damn hand and maybe kiss you at the end of the night. It almost scared him to think he had fallen for someone this deeply and even to this day he thought he could deny it and maybe even talk himself out of it, but he knows that he'd be lying. He hated how vanilla he became around you. This wasn't who he was, was it? He wasn't the type to do dates, hell, he didn't even do relationships so why the fuck did he want to go steady with you? He was willing to give up his old ways for you. He'd stop fucking around, he'd stop hanging out with such assholes or in the least stop being so impressionable around them. He'd even give up smoking for you. If that didn't show he was serious about you, then he didn't know what was.

After the class was over and somehow Yoongi miraculously finished his exam he turned it in and caught up with you in the hallway. You were waiting for Jimin so you could head to lunch as you always did so it wasn't hard to find you.

"So? Will you come?" Yoongi smiled when he met you. Your heart lurched in your chest, secretly loving all the attention he was giving you today.

"Are you asking me out, Min Yoongi?" Right as the words left your mouth, you wanted to bury yourself where you stood. The heat running up the course of your neck could be felt by other people a mile away, but all Yoongi did was smile wider.

"I mean, maybe I am? Why, does it bother you?" Your eyes widened as you looked up to him and he let out a small laugh, his own heart beating like a drum so loud he was surprised you couldn't hear it.

He was nervous. He'd never really been rejected before and if the girl he was utterly infatuated with denied him, he didn't know how he'd ever live it down.

"No, it doesn't." You boldly said, now causing Yoongi's eyes to widen before his face broke out into a gummy smile that had your stomach in knots and your heart singing.

Yoongi couldn't help it and he didn't care if he was making himself seem like a huge dork. He thought that you'd better get used to it now because he was going to ask you out at the party tonight and if you agreed, you'd never see another side of him. He'd be in a constant state of bliss.

"So, does that mean you'll come?" He pegged on, you giggled a bit and it was music to Yoongi's ears.

"We'll see what I can do." You saw Jimin walking up behind Yoongi so you said a quick 'see ya later' to the dark haired man in front of you, leaving him with a goofy grin plastered to his face that stayed there the remainder of the day.

"So about the movie-" You and Jimin said at the same time.

"You first." He laughed, you laughing along with him.

"No, no. You go ahead."

"Okay. So, I know you wanted to go see that movie tonight but... There's a party." Your eyes lit up and your ears perked at Jimin's words. Maybe you wouldn’t have to beg him after all.

"It's at Namjoon's," He continued, "I think we should go. We're sophomores and haven't been to a house party before! I think it'll be good for us."

"Sure, let's go." You quickly answered, almost too quick that it had Jimin stuttering.

"R-really? You wanna g-go?" He asked, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Yeah! Why not? I think it'll be fun." Jimin's face lit up as a smile grew on his lips, "You met a girl, didn't you?" You added. Jimin's smile dropped instantly, turning shy and blushy.

"Ah, that's not it, (Y/N)." He whined, but you could see through his lie. You laughed, ruffling Jimin's natural colored hair, "That's okay, I met someone too."

Jimin became serious again. He had a feeling he knew who you were talking about and he really hoped he was wrong. "You aren't talking about Min Yoongi, are you?"

Instantly, you scowled. His intrusive tone struck some sort of chord and you suddenly didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"So what if it is? There's nothing wrong with him."

Jimin sighed, running his fingers through his hair. His gaze ran the course of the hallway before turning to yours, "I never said there was. I've just... I've just heard stuff about him."

Of course. Who hadn't heard anything about Yoongi or his friends? You understood why Jimin was concerned and it's not like it hadn't crossed your mind that maybe the reason Yoongi was all nice and flirty today because he wanted to get into your pants, but over the past few weeks of you spending time with him and getting to know him better, you couldn't see him doing that to you.

"Yeah? Well so have I. But I know him and he wouldn't do that." Jimin sighed again and you could tell he was completely not okay with this but you really didn't care. You could trust Yoongi. Or maybe you were just being naïve.

"Okay, I believe you. Let's have fun tonight. Okay?" He smiled and you mimicked him, fully agreeing to let loose tonight.

Tutoring went by without a hitch. Maybe even better than that considering how smiley and giddy Yoongi was the entire time. It was refreshing and you found yourself thinking that you wouldn't mind it if he kept acting like this.

Soon after, you went home and got ready nearly an hour early before the party even started which meant that you still had two hours to kill before you would go. Jimin had said something about how it would seem "uncool" if you showed up to a party on time so you'd have to be "fashionably late". You wanted to see Yoongi though. Would he be excited to see you? What will you say to him when you see him? Will he like what you're wearing? Questions and self-doubt ran through your mind that had you changing your outfit at least 5 different times and trying to decide if you wanted your hair up or down. Eventually you decided on a casual yet stylish outfit consisting of plain skinny jeans and a fitted black long sleeve shirt with your hair down.

"Hopefully this will be okay. I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard." You said out loud to yourself, fixing and kinks in your hair and straightening out any wrinkles on your outfit.

"You look hot!" Jimin said from behind you. You could see him behind you in the reflection of your mirror. He styled his hair a bit differently, showcasing his forehead slightly and you could tell he put a lot of effort into his outfit. It was simple like yours but still made him look like a Greek God.

"Damn, Park! If you weren't my best friend, I'd be jumping your bones right now!" You teased. Jimin wrinkled his eyes together in a cute grin as he got shy, mumbling a "Oh, stop it" causing you to smile as well.

Jimin made himself at home atop of your bed as you finished the minor details. Nerves finally starting to get the best of you. Yes, you were nervous before but you were now only minutes away from meeting up with him. Outside of school. Outside of tutoring. He wanted to see you; apparently.

"Maybe we shouldn't go. I'm sure there's still showings of the movie!" You babbled, Jimin rolled his eyes.

"We're going to the party. He asked you, right? He'll be happy to see you." It was almost as though Jimin was reading your mind as he knew all the right things to say. You nodded, agreeing with him that your anxiety was unnecessary. He wanted to see you. He wanted to see you. He wanted to see you.

You replayed the words like a mantra until it stuck in your head. You could do it. It's just a party.

"Dude, you look so on edge, take a hit and chill out." Hoseok said, handing Yoongi the joint.

Yoongi eyeballed the small cig between his fingers, debating on whether or not he should. Of course, he was nervous for you to show up and obviously this would mellow his mood, but he wanted to be sober when he saw you. The party had been going on for an hour and not once did he drink or smoke. There was also no sign of you.

"What are you waiting for someone?" Namjoon smiled, taking a drink from the beer bottle he had just grabbed from a cooler.

"No, I'm just feeling a bit off. That's all." Yoongi said, handing Hoseok the blunt.

"Yeah, you're feeling off because you haven't smoked in who knows how long. What are you? A prude now?" Yoongi side eyed the blonde haired man, who only grinned in return.

"Give me it." Yoongi demanded. Hoseok passed the joint once again and Yoongi took a deep, long puff from it, exhaling the cotton white smoke from his nostrils.

"There, now you can calm down and wait for whoever you're waiting for." Namjoon laughed. Yoongi sighed, glancing at the time on his phone. An hour and a half already. Maybe you weren't coming.

Disappointment and discouragement coursed through his body. He should have known better than to get his hopes up for someone like you. Someone who's way to good to be seen with someone like him. Someone too perfect in every way to ever associate themselves with someone like Yoongi. A burn out. A loser. A fuckboy. He should have known better to think you really cared. The teacher probably offered you some amazing extra credit to help out the dumb kid, failing more than half of his classes and you wouldn't ever pass up that. No, because that's just how you were. And he decided that if you didn't consider him important, then he didn't consider you it either.

"You know what? I'm not waiting for anyone." Yoongi hissed, snatching the beer from Namjoon's hands and downing the remains.

"Whoa, I was drinking that?" He huffed. Namjoon was amused with his friends newfound behavior, however and he wanted to see how far he could push it.

"You want another?" He offered. Yoongi muttered a quick yeah, still finding himself watching the door, just in case you showed up. Not that he cared at this point, however.

Namjoon laughed, handing his friend another drink, "Hey man, I think Nara has been eyeing you for a while. Maybe you should go see what she wants?" Yoongi's heart sank. Was he really going to give up this easily? He gulped down half of the bottle easily, his sight set on the girl.

She looked up from her drink, smirking. Her eyes begging him over. He didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the joint but one way or another he ended up in front of her. Minimal words were spoken before her lips her on his. At first he hesitated, his thoughts completely consumed by you until her hand snaked down to his belt and grabbing on to it firmly. Then, he was lost.

"Jimin, we're so late!" You yelled, walking up the steps into the huge house. People littered the porch and front yard, some song that had to have been popular on the radio playing in the background.

"I'm sorry! You know my car sucks." Jimin said, meeting you at the door. You didn't bother knocking considering the door was already open. It led to the main room that was flooded with people from your school and more than likely people who weren't. Your breath was almost taken away from the sheer amount of people that occupied the room.

Naturally, your eyes scanned the vicinity, looking for the head of hair that you'd grown so used to seeing everyday. But you couldn't find it.

"Jiminnie!" A voice called. You looked behind you to see some red haired girl throw herself at your best friend. It was clearly the girl he'd been excited to see before. His smile lit up as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pecking her lips gently.

"Ah, (Y/N) this is Molly. Molly, (Y/N)." The red head stuck her dainty hand out, a bright smile shown on her face.

"Ah, (Y/N)! I've heard so much about you. It's nice to meet you!" She gushed, her grip on Jimin loosening ever so slightly.

"It's nice to meet you too! You don't go to our school, do you?" She shook her head, "Nope! I go to East End High. On the other side of town." You nodded knowingly, "Oh, I see. Wait, how did you two meet then?" You asked, your eyebrows scrunching together.

"Oh! We met o-" Jimin's hand covered her mouth, cutting off her sentence before she could finish it. He laughed nervously, making any excuse to get you away from them.

"A-AH, I'll tell you about it later! Why don't you go find Yoongi! It has been like two hours since the party started, I bet he's dying to see you!" He croaked.

At the mention of Yoongi, your previous curiosity faltered. Jimin was right, you should go and find him and explain your tardiness.

"O-Okay then! It was nice meeting you, Molly. Stay safe, you kids." You laughed, turning around and walking into the sea of people. He had to be here somewhere.

The living room was held no sign of Min Yoongi and neither did the kitchen nor the backyard. 'Maybe he's not here?' You thought.

The cold air from the night calmed your nerves only momentarily before negative thoughts seeped their way into your brain.

What if he didn't show up because it was all some sick joke? Your heartbeat sped up and sunk simultaneously, your cheeks heating up despite the chill air.

That had to have been it. He was playing some cruel prank on you to make you seem like some idiot who thought he could ever be capable of having normal feelings for someone and boy, did you feel stupid.

Jumping to conclusions, you felt the hot tears brimming in the corners of your eyes, but oh no, you wouldn't give Yoongi the satisfaction of making you cry in front of who knows how many people. So for now, you sucked it up and told yourself that you can cry the moment you entered your bedroom. Jimin would be fine with Molly. You could walk yourself home, it wasn't that far anyways.

"Hey! (Y/N)!" A chirpy voice rang from behind you. You didn't even have to look to know who it was. Seokjin.

"Hello, Jin." You chided, facing the taller boy.

"You here alone?" He asked, straightforward with his words. You nodded, not really paying attention.

"Why?" He pestered. Your face contorted as you looked up at him, debating on whether or not to tell him the truth.

"I was looking for someone. I was invited." His mouth opened as he let out a silent "Ah", nodding his head.

"May I ask who?" You sighed. Boy, was this guy persistant.

"I guess. I was looking for Yoongi. But I don't think he's here, so I'm just going to leave." Seokjin raised his eyebrows at the mention of the troublemaker.

"Ah, Min Yoongi? He's upstairs. I don't know why you'd be looking for him though, he's trouble! I'd stay away if I were you." You blocked the rest of Jin's words out after he slipped that Yoongi was upstairs.

You quickly excused yourself, not bothering to give any excuses. You figured Jin would understand.

Once inside, it took you a second to find your way back to the main living room which held the staircase to upstairs. Was he really up there? What was he doing? Maybe he was nervous too?

Nerves filled your gut again, but not the fluttery kind.

You stepped up the stairs, careful not to bump any party goer even though by the looks of it, they were too far gone to even care. Of course, the house had numerous rooms to choose from and you really didn't want to just barge in on people.

You knocked on a couple doors, most of them were empty surprisingly, that is until you reached the end of the hallway.

"This is so dumb." You whispered to yourself before knocking. You seriously felt idiotic to even be searching for him at this point. You could easily just go wait for him downstairs and he'd show up when he wanted to, if he wanted to. Which you really hoped he did.

Gently, you tapped your knuckles against the white painted door, waiting for anyone to respond from the other side. After a few seconds of nothing, you figured it was empty until a low, guttural groan passed through the door.

You weren't dumb, but for some reason you knocked again. Even though you knew fully just what was happening on the inside.

"G-Go away." The voice groaned. You would have stepped away, really, letting them have their privacy, but instead you grabbed the doorknob. You knew that voice and you sent a silent prayer that it wasn't who you thought it was.

The doorknob twisted easily, and you pushed it open slowly. A sick feeling bubbled in your stomach and you knew you could back out. You didn't need to do this. You didn't even know it was for sure him. What if you were about to walk in on some completely random couple? You could never live that down.

But still, you opened the door. Even though, you wish you never would have.

There he was, as predicted, leaned against the sink, pants around his ankles as some girl kneeled before him.

"Y-Yoongi." You hushed, wanting to disappear from the world right as the name slipped from your lips.

His eyes darted open, irritatedly looking towards the culprit that was distracting him from the head he was receiving. But once he saw who it was, his eyes widened. His mouth parted as if he was trying to speak, trying to cover up what you thought was happening even though it was exactly what it looked like. There was no cover up for this.

Yoongi quickly pushed Nara off of him and pulled his pants up, instantly becoming flaccid as he saw the look on your face.

"(Y/N), this isn't what it looks like." His eyes closed, cursing himself for that being the first thing to come out of his mouth.

You scoffed, the tears from earlier fresh as ever as you backed away from the door and leaving immediately.

You didn't bother to listen to the voice calling for you, begging you to wait, screaming dozens of apologies. You didn't bother finding Jimin to let him know you were leaving and that you'd never go to another high school party again. There was no reason to.

Yoongi caught up with you right as you reached the front door, latching himself onto your wrist, stopping you from going any further.

"Let me go." You sighed, your gaze falling to the floor.

"No," Yoongi sobbed, attempting to catch his breath, "Just talk to me for a minute."

"There's nothing for us to talk about?" You sniffled, wiping away the stray tear that fell and turning to face him, putting on your best poker face.

Yoongi's breath hitched, nearly choking as his heart fluttered and banged against his ribcage. Why did he have to be so fucking stupid? Why couldn't he have waited?

"What happened back there with Nara was nothing. It meant nothing." He repeated, as if he were trying to convince you to give him some sort of chance. But that's not the type of girl you were. He fucked up, and you weren't going to let it slide. You had already made yourself look like an idiot once, and that was not happening again. Not with Min Yoongi.

"Okay? Sorry I walked in on you. You didn't have to stop because of me. I should have listened to you when you said go away." Yoongi's eyebrows knitted together, confused as to why you were talking like this.

"What? No, I shouldn't have done it to begin with! I was fucking stupid and messed everything up."

"Messed what up? Us? There isn't an 'Us', Yoongi. You're free to sleep with whoever you want," Your words were quick and jumbled and you just wanted to leave, "I'll see you Monday. Have a nice time here." You turned to move, but his grip on your wrist stayed put.

"(Y/N), I'm so so-"

"Yoongiiiii, why'd you push me off?" Nara cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind him. Her eyes fell to his hand on your wrist and her eyebrows quirked, "Oh? Am I interrupting something?" She said wryly, a smirk coming to her lips as she pecked her way up Yoongi's jaw. He winced away from her touches, wanting absolutely nothing to do with her.

"No, I was just leaving." You snatched your wrist back, giving a final look to Yoongi before making your way home.

"Good, she's gone. Let's finish what we started upstairs, yeah?"

"No, thanks." Yoongi peeled her off of himself. She was obviously flustered and he knew that she'd more than likely start up some dumb rumor about how he'd went soft on her or how he denied her or whatever. But he didn't care. She could spread all the rumors she wanted.

Yoongi hated himself.

"So, it's true then? You do? I'm going to take your silence as a 'yes'." Taehyung continued.

"Hey, man. Just stop." Hoseok chimed in, standing from the coffee table and putting a hand on his shoulder. Taehyung just shook it off, eyeing you as you stood in thought.

"Shocked, are you? We all know what he did to you those years ago but in his defense, who could deny Nara? You're so plain compared to her." He snarled. This brought you from your head, your eyes locking on to his. What the fuck is his problem? You thought.

"What's going on?" A voice questioned. It was Yoongi's.

Taehyung smirked, "Oh, my little kitten here would like her panties back but- Oh, no! I don't have them! Any idea where they could be?"

Yoongi's face reddened. He knew you'd think of his as some pervert if it came out that he had your underwear hiding in his pocket, and he knew you already thought lowly of him so, he'd lie to the death if he had to.

"No? You're the one who got them, right?" He convinced, hinting to his friend to keep it on the down low. But that wasn't going to happen.

"Are you that baked that you forgot I handed them over to you? Or... maybe it's that you don't want to seem like some creep for keeping your crushes underwear? Hm?" Yoongi squinted up the man grinning down to him. He wanted to knock him out.

"What the fuck is your problem, Tae?"

"Problem? I don't have one. She just needs her panties back. Give them to her."

Yoongi scoffed, “Listen. I already said I don’t have them.” His jaw clenched. He was seconds away from punching him square in the throat. There was a crowd now. Everyone gathered around the scene as if it were a movie unfolding before them. A few even chanted fight in the background.

This was not good. It was just underwear and you didn’t even care at this point who had them, you just wanted them back. Not that you could put them back on though, that’d be disgusting.

“Really? Then what are these?” Taehyung reached towards the pocket of Yoongi’s jacket to be met with nothing. Taehyung sputtered, his words fumbling in his mouth as he checked the other pocket as well, both turning up empty.

“Where are they?” He clenched, his teeth showing.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I told you. I don’t have them.” Yoongi smirked as he walked away, glancing at you only briefly.

Your heart nearly stopped from the look on Yoongi’s face. Smug as all hell. What was all this mess? Him making your heart beat again after all these years. Taehyung taking your underwear, lying to you. This night was chaotic.

“H-He had them. I-I gave them to him, I have no idea where he’s hi-hiding them.” You were over this. Fuck your underwear.

“Oh, who cares at this point! They’re just underwear. Let’s go, Jimin.” He nodded, still shocked from the events that just took place. Jimin grabbed your arm, escorting you to the door, but you remembered there was still something you wanted to do.

“Ah, wait, wait.” You said, unlatching your arm from Jimin’s and facing the asshole who ruined your night.

“Hey... Taehyung?” You asked sweetly. His gaze turned to you, irritation sketched upon his features.

“Wha-” Before he could even finish his sentence, your fist collided with his jaw. You threw your arm towards that handsome, devious face with as much might as you could muster, never hesitating or resisting in the swing. Your knuckles met his face with a loud smack, even cracking a few of your fingers, sending him flying backwards into the crowd that stood behind him.

He looked up to you, his eyes wide as he clutched the side of his head, a small trickle of blood seeping out of his mouth. He wanted to cuss you out, he wanted to get even but most of all, he wanted to leave. He’d just been knocked down by a girl. A girl that he’d played only an hour before. This was his downfall. The end of Kim Taehyung. People took out their phones, snapping pictures and taking videos, whispering the words that would be on the tongue of the student body for the rest of the year. This was big, and everyone knew it.

“Man, I was hoping to knock you out. Oh well.” You winked, latching arms again with your best friend who stiffled back the urge to burst out laughing.

Even as you were exiting, Taehyung thought of ways to get you back, to do anything to show he was the boss but instead, Namjoon helped him to his feet, holding back laughter of his own. Once on his feet, he scanned the party, letting out a nervous chuckle and booking it to the exit, praying that people would forget this happened entirely. Even though he doubted it.

You said your goodbyes to Jimin, both of you agreeing that you’d had enough fun for the night and made your way to your bedroom. A hot shower beckoned you. You felt grimy from that asshole laying his dirty hands on you.

You gathered all your necessities; including a new pair of undies, and made your way to the bathroom. The steam from the shower quickly fogged up the mirror, relaxing you. Finally, you were in your own home, no distractions, no dumb boys who’d taken your underwear. You were content. You’d knocked Kim Taehyung off his feet today. You considered that a win.

Right as you grabbed the hem of your shirt, the shrill ring of the doorbell could be heard from downstairs. Of course, you thought, of course something would interrupt my celebratory party.

“Coming!” You yelled once the doorbell rang again, turning off the water to the shower.

The doorbell rang once again, an irritated sigh escaping from you as you opened the door, “How can I hel- Oh, you.” Your eyes blinked to the dark haired man before you, an expression of shock etched on his face that matched yours.

“Yeah, me.” He hummed, a small smile playing on his lips in an attempt to settle any tension in the air.

“What do you want?” you grumbled. Why couldn’t you just have the rest of the night to yourself?

“U-Uh, well, can we maybe, um,” He panicked, his words not coming to him.

“Spit it out, Yoongi.”

“Can we talk?” You audibly groaned before shutting the door behind you, stepping out on to your front porch.

“Be quick.” He nodded, swallowing hard as he tried to find all the right things to say.

“So,” he began, “how are you doing?” You looked at him incredulously. Was he seriously asking that right now?

“Fuck,” He hissed, “No, not how are you doing, ugh, I’m so stupid.” This was new. You were definitely not used to this Yoongi. The usually coiled and stable man was now coming undone, and for some reason it made you nervous.

“Just, just calm down, Min. Take a breath.” Your choice of using his last name calmed him. It reminded him of old times. Back when you were close.

His heartbeat rang in his ears. He was done being a baby. He was going to do something he’s been wanting to do for the past 2 years. Something he should have done. With high school being over in just a few weeks, he knew it was now or never.

“(Y/N), about what happened at the party...”

“Oh, no worries. I don’t even care about the underwear anymore. Taehyung can do whatever with them, maybe even use them to hold his ice pack.” You laughed.

“No, not that party, wait- ice pack? What do you mean?” His eyebrows knitted together. His look of confusion sending your heart into over drive. The way his bottom lip stuck out slightly had your mind slipping into thoughts of what it’d feel like against yours.

“Ah, I knocked him out. Well, not really. I wanted to. But, I punched him pretty hard. My hand still hurts.” Another giggle fled from you causing a smile to form on Yoongi.

“What, really?” You nodded, satisfied with yourself.

“Huh,” he hummed to himself, “You’re kind of badass, aren’t you?” His comment had your ego flying, your own smugness finding you as you scoffed.

“Yeah, it seems like I am.” This time Yoongi laughed and it was music to your ears. Boy, you missed him.

“So, is that all?” You asked. Yoongi shook his head frantically, “No, no! I still have stuff to say. Maybe it’ll be for nothing, but I can’t live with myself if I never do this.” Those nervous flutters reentered your stomach; the same ones from that party those years ago. Uh-oh.

You urged him to continue. He took a deep breath, gazing up to your eyes that he loved so much. He felt like a loser. Who in their right mind stays smitten with someone like this for more than two years? Here went nothing.

“I want to explain myself. Not that it will make a difference, I don’t think. But, about the party. From two years ago.” Your heart sped up even more, if that was even possible. Why was he bringing this up?

“Yoongi, it was two years ago. It’s long forgotten and forgiven. Not that you had anything to be sorry for.” He sighed, obviously not satisfied with that.

“I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t forgiven myself. I was an idiot. An idiot who thought you weren’t going to come. An idiot who thought the best way to cope was to fuck it and smoke and drink and fucking kiss Nara which lead to that stupid shit in the bathroom and then you walked in and my whole world came crashing down and I was scared to lose what we had and we lost it. I wanted so much more with you, man, I still fucking do. I know that I fucked up, and I mean big time. I was going to confess that night. I was going to ask you out on a date and had every intention of making you my girlfriend. And I messed it up. I know I can’t change the past, even though I wish I could. But... I really like you. Like, a lot. And now I’m rambling and I’m making myself seem like an even bigger id-”

You didn’t know what came over you. You couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol considering how much you’d sobered up but before you knew it, your lips were on his and it felt right. It felt damn right. The kiss had been long overdue and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than kiss the shit out of him.

Yoongi was shocked at first, but once it settled and he realized what was happening and eased into it immediately.

His hands flung to your neck, almost needily. You giggled through the kiss, seeing a desperate Min Yoongi turns out to be one of your favorite things. However, he took the opportunity to snake his tongue into your mouth, not that you minded. One hand stayed put, practically glued to the your neck as the other one traveled to your waist, pulling you closer to him.

Time seemed to pass in hours, just you and him at 1:00am on your front porch, kissing under the moonlight. It was like a movie, and you didn’t want it to end. But of course, all good things do.

Yoongi was the first to break away, resting his forehead against yours as he tried to regain his breath and composure but you saw through his facade, and a gummy smile broke out. You smiled along with him.

“Let’s do that again sometime.” He whispered, his blown out eyes peered into yours. His dark eyes felt like home and you couldn’t help yourself from pecking him again.

“I meant at another time!” He played, batting your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” You grinned, your hand finding his and entangling your fingers with him.

The two of you stood there, purely enjoying each other’s presence.

“So, where do we go from here?” He questioned, worry filling his voice. This could very well be a one time thing and maybe the kiss was merely a pity kiss because you felt bad he was confessing after all this time, making him look like a fool.

“Well, how about that date?” You offered. Yoongi’s eyes lit up, and you could have swore you saw tears, but before any could drop, he pulled you flush against his chest. His heartbeat racking against his chest at a speed of at least 100 mph.

“That sounds amazing. Oh, and (Y/N)?” You hummed in response, leaning back to look up into his eyes.

“Do you want your underwear back? I have them.”

AN: Finally out! I hope you all like it ;-; I’m almost tempted to make a follow up scenario to this because I really want to write a smut scene between these two and I just felt that it didn’t fit with where this one was going. So, expect that in the future lol. Leave me some feedback! <3

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screamingtofu · 7 years

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First d&d session is complete

Guys, holy shit. D&D is so fucking fun. We only had 3 people show up due to conflicting schedules, but we pressed on anyway and bud, let me tell you we went for 6 damn hours and it didn’t feel like it at all. Gonna put the rundown under a read more because it’s a decent chunk and I’m tired.

The npc guide finds me in shackled in prison and says they’re looking for people who want to help and protect others, Eridol immediately insults him before pointing to his holy symbol and mentions anything is better than staying in jail again. So they go off and end up bickering outside a church because the guide is being a cryptic bastard and Eridol is both amused and annoyed at the lack of straight answers. The NPC who Eridol now knows is named Core wanders into the church looking for another player character who we find. He’s a charasmatic fuck of a dragonborn paladin called Draccus who joins us only after he gets up us for loitering outside the church (Bitch, it’s my church too. Calm thy scaly tits). We all then go off to get a horse each and travel into the forest to find our last member of this merry band, a hobgoblin fighter called Olgum/Olgrum depending on who you talk to who had been living out in the forests for like 40 years … he’s basically hobgoblin Danny Trejo and sounds like Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget.

After a heartfelt speech from Core of “If you come with us, you can kill lots of things” we wander back to the horses. Simple math check, we only have three horses. As soon as we get there Core and Draccus both jump on and start riding away, as Eridol is standing there really thinking about how this hobgoblin said he wanted to eat him he mentions that he’ll just walk … only to be picked up by the scruff of the shirt and put neck deep in a drawstring food bag that was on the horse. Eridol was not exactly pleased with this but it works. After about an hours ride we come up to the first quest npc, big stocky dude called Heinrik, who runs a carriage company running stock between towns but has recently suffered attacks while travelling in the forests. We take off with his carriage, Eridol thankfully riding shotgun and not in the food sack anymore before stopping for the night about a third of the way through the forest.

Olgum gets the scent of a boar from earlier and wanders off to hunt it, he follows the scent to a stream and decides to cross it and finds a dark mound moving slightly, mostly obscured by the shadows. After about 20 minutes of him being gone Eridol and Draccus (Who at this point, Eridol is just calling Drac … much to his dismay) decide they should go and find him, they follow him to the stream and because Eridol is the only one with dark vision, he’s the only one that can see that yeah the boar is there, but so are the 2 wolves eating it. Eridol tells Drac before yelling for Olgum and nearly murdering one of the wolves with a sacred flame. The light from the attack is enough for Olgum to get his bearings before screaming “He’s mine”. In that moment the non singed wolf took him down to 2 hp with a single attack because we’re all squishy babies. Drac seriously considers tossing Eridol across the river because it’d be above my head but reconsiders and crosses the waist deep water for him and throws a javelin at the injured wolf … and spit roasts it straight through the back of the mouth as it was lunging for Olgum. Olgum just straight up decapitates the other wolf in one swing before Eridol casts a healing word on him and we take the boar and wolves back to camp. Drac skins the wolves and the hulking hobgoblin that Eridol is just calling Olga now is expertly butchering this pig. like damn it is a work of art. Once he’s done he throws both Drac and Eridol a boar leg each. Drac being a shit uses his flame breathe to sear it and digs in. Eridol goes and grabs some spices and rolls a fucking nat 20 on the cooking check to make the best roast ever before he hacks the best part of and gives it to Olga just as an acknowledgement that this meat based friendship was going amazingly

So we wake up and continue on our way, Olga and Core riding up front, myself riding shotgun with Heinrik and Drac on rear guide. I see a blur of red sitter past in the bushes and inform Heinrik who gets his crossbow and I ready my hammer and shield.Olga hears goblinspeak in the bushes before 2 rocks come whizzing at us, one pings off my shield and the other clocks Core right in the back of the head. While he’s dazed, Olga whips a hatchet through a kobold’s head and runs off to melee with a goblin, I cast shield of faith on Heinrik because that seems like a good idea before jumping down and running towards another kobold. Core shoots off a pretty limp ray of frost at one of them. This giant fuck of an orc runs out, takes a heavy crossbow bolt from Heinrik, Slashes the fuck out of Heinrik before seeing Drac and taking a bonus action to run to him. It’s at this point Drac notices what the fuck is happening because he got a nat 1 on a perception check and then a 2 for initiative. Drac dismounts his horse and disarms the orc … he literally sliced one of his fucking arms off mid swing and it just goes sailing into the forest before the orc passes out from shock. The kobold near me sees this and tries to nope the fuck out and I crack his skull open as a reaction before casting healing word on Heinrik because he was fuuuuuucked up. Olga decapitates the currently sole goblin as it was on it’s knees begging for mercy.

Now the combats over, we see Core running to give the orc a potion because Heinrik wanted him alive. Eridol gets there first and casts spare the dying while we rope up and shackle the orc before we throw a potion down his throat. At this point Eridol wanders off to find his shield and the orc arm but Heinrik grills this dude for info about his missing supplies and daughter. The orc laughs before mentioning they were going to rape the daughter and she would birth a fine litter of babies for them … at which point Heinrik got angry and the orc lost his head. Eridol is just in the background carrying this orc arm that is bigger than he is, looking at all the tattoos and decides he really wants to keep one of them so he flays the skin to get this really ornate pirate ship tattoo off the arm, before moving the Orc’s body off the road and getting back on the wagon. Olga, Drac and Eridol are just covered in blood and gore from the fight and sa they make it to the outside of the town that currently doesn’t have a name a very fresh faced guard in the militia sees us and asks for the gate to be opened. Once it’s been opened he stands at attention, mostly for Core and also because Eridol has his rank insignia on his armor. Eridol fiddles with the orc arm that he’s been carrying this whole time and uses it to salute the two guards, one of which just loses is and starts throwing up, which causes the other one to see what’s going on and starts dryretching as well. Good times.

We get inside and all kind of wander off while Core goes and does his governmental duties. Drac immediately goes to church and prays and talks to the abbot about a map he found and is directed to an in called the Golden Ales. Eridol goes and finds a tanner and is pointed towards the creepiest motherfucker you could ever see. I’m talking if someone took Serverus snape and just stretched him vertically. On top of this fucker instantly knowing that I was giving him orc skin, I swear he orgasmed a bit when I told him I had “an armful” more skin. Eridol probably just made a deal with fantasy buffalo bill to occassionally drop off strange and exotic skins … but hey, that’s a thing. I then made my way to the church and prayed to my god for the not exactly friendly deaths before leaving with Drac to go find the tavern.

Olga on the otherhand finds the tavern on his own and almost starts a fucking brawl with the owner because he asked for the most expensive booze there, didn’t pay and then threatened everyone in the bar … which caused the owner to bring out his goliath cook/lover who Olga then called a pet which escalated things even further. This is where Drac and I find the place, walk in talking about how cool it was when Drac de-armed that guy to complete silence and 8 shock collared orcs about to jump Olga. Eridol walks straight next to Olga and buys a drink for Olga and himself which cost most of his gold but seemed to deescalate the situation. Drac being all goody too shoes doesn’t like the look of the collars and immediately tried to free one of the orcs before getting zapped and warned by the owner that the collars are there for a reason and if you remove it, it’ll be bad for you for worse for the orc … who would die. Drac comes and joins us at the bar and he and the owner have a tense conversation about freedom and rights before the owner takes a liking to him for his resolve and goes to get some fancy booze. Eridol takes the time to jokingly call the goliath who we now know is called Juriel “tiny” and Juriel takes that as Eridol is insulting his manhood. the owner comes back and pours this fancy booze for everyone and we talk and drink for a while before someone orders some meat, at which Juriel lights up and goes back to the kitchen for 20 minutes before coming back with a raw venison steak for Olga, a nicely cooked steak for Drac and 2 roast chickens, a full side of potatoes and roast vegetables for Eridol. Eridol immediately lights up because holy shit this is the best looking chicken he’s ever seen and just really trying to make the goliath feel good.

Then guess who takes a great big bite and rolls a fucking nat 1 on a constitution save. Eridol goes pale as a sheet and is retching while he eats some of the chicken. All the while just professing to Juriel how it’s so good and he should be proud. So everyone keeps drinking and we get the information we need before retiring back to the rooms. Olga gets a room to himself, Eridol is fast asleep on a childs cot in Drac’s room before Drac gets tired of the frankly loud snoring and pungent smell from Eridol who is still absolutely covered in blood and gore and pushes Eridols cot out into the hallway, who at some point ends up underneath it with a leg sticking up out of one of the holes.

#d&d #first session #shenanigans #eridol trahaearn-edryd #tiny gnome son #eridol #drac #olga

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tzhaar-ket · 8 years

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Ket’s bosses of Dark Souls 3

Written by a terrible Dark Souls player who never played any previous Dark Souls beforehand

21. High Lord Wolnir - This boss was the most disappointing boss in the whole game, after fighting through the catacombs (which by the way are super cool) this is the boss you are greeted with... Hit his rings a few times and he falls into the abyss. With minions more annoying then him I just didn’t think this boss was very hard nor very good

20. Deacons of the Deep - Between two playthroughs this boss has still never killed me (making it the only one to do so). Before playing Dark Souls 3 I heard that this boss was very disappointing and I agree 100%, the fight is not interesting nor very tough, with basic mobs that always respawn and one that becomes super charged sometimes it didn’t make for a very interesting encounter

19. Ancient Wyvern - Urghhhhhh, this boss is such a let-down, after travelling to Archdragon Peak this is the first boss you are faced with? AND YOU DON’T EVEN REALLY FIGHT IT (I mean you could of course, but as with Yhorm, it is not the way you are supposed to fight it) instead you traipse around the arena climbing various ladder and stairs until you are on a broken bridge on top of the dragon’s head, from here just jump and hope you land on his head which will instantly kill it. It is like the developers made the boss specifically designed to teach you that the basic mobs of Archdragon peak are complete nightmares to deal with in large numbers

18. Curse-Rotted Greatwood - Not much to say about the Greatwood, a pretty normal boss fight, different than any boss fought before it due to it having weak spots that must be hit but at the same time it’s attacks are slow and easy to dodge, the second phase is more of a challenge for the stage of the game that it is in but it still suffers from the same problems, not that bad of a boss but a bit too easy, even for a player who has never played another Dark Souls game prior

17. Crystal Sage - I died to this boss more times in my second playthrough than any other boss combined, mostly because I HATE magic attacks, I cannot dodge them to save my life... Anyway this boss doesn’t really have anything special to offer other than having a mirage phase where one of them is real and the others aren’t, it does hit hard for the stage of the game that it is in and can be a pain to deal with sometimes, other than that is is no a terrible boss fight

16. Yhorm the Giant - Being one of the most hyped up bosses in the game, being featured in the opening cutscene and being a lord of cinder and what do you have to do to kill him? run to the end of the room, pick up the sword, navigate your inventory and equip said sword and then blast away at Yhorm’s HP until he died, this makes the fight laughably easy for the late stage of the game that this area is in, I understand it is a Demon Souls callback and all but it feels unsatisfying killing Yhorm this way. At least this is the end point for Siegward’s storyline (which I loved), that makes the fight almost good

15. Champion's Gravetender & Gravetender Greatwolf - A disappointing boss for an overall disappointing DLC, this boss is basically an NPC invader who summons in a giant wolf to fight midway through the battle, this makes the battle 10 times harder as the wolf is fast and hits hard, the reward being the ability to partake in the PvP arena though makes this optional boss worth killing

14. Vordt of the Boreal Valley - The boss has the same problems as the Greatwood, with his attacks being a bit slow and easy to dodge, that is until phase 2 where this boss goes berserk, charging around the room and running over anything in its path, this boss was the first boss that surprised me and for that reason I do like this boss quite a lot

13. Iudex Gundyr - Being the first Dark Souls game that I ever played, this boss kicked my ass for hours (about 3 to be exact) so I do love this boss for that reason, not much of a challenge for any returning Souls players but for a newcomer this boss is your first step into the world that is dying over and over again but still wanting to try again, and again, and again...

12. Old Demon King - Probably the quickest boss of any to get to and also one of the easiest to defeat, however the attacks are all pretty punishing and the area that this demon resides is one of my favourite in the game, with the arena scattered with corpses of defeated demons, when the king is on his last legs and seeing him try to lift his hammer off the floor and failing almost makes you feel sorry for killing him in the end

11 . Oceiros, the Consumed King - I love this boss, mainly because it is vocal during the fight which is unlike any other boss in the game, it is a bit on the easy side and the area that this boss resides is small and also doesn’t garner much whilst exploring it, however this boss gives access to two other parts of the game, both of which are among my favourite parts of Dark Souls 3

10. Aldrich, Devourer of Gods - This boss never gave me any trouble in either playthroughs (mostly because it is super weak to fire) but I do love the attacks that this boss does, it is almost as elegant as the dancer during this fight with the sword swings being slow but fast at the same time, the arrow rain attacks that this boss does wins my award of most annoying attack in the game but I am also a sucker for an arrow rain attack as it always looks amazing and this is no different

9. Soul of Cinder - The final boss of the game is... surprisingly easy? But also one of the best looking and most dynamic boss fights in the game, having the boss switch between weapons mid-fight keeps the player on their toes and changing up their attack style with each change of weapon, the second phase is also one of the most challenging parts of the game as there are some combos that can end your life very quickly if you are not paying attention, overall a very nice end to Dark Souls 3

8. Champion Gundyr - Having the starting area come back in the later game is such a good choice by the developers, especially since this was my first Souls game, I was so happy to go back to the start of my adventure but this time the place is in complete darkness and there are new enemies in the area, oh also Gundyr is back and has been buffed by an absurd amount, this boss bought me back the start of my adventure of Dark Souls 3, dying over and over again to the first boss, his attacks are very strong and extremely rapid (probably the boss is in the game who gives you the least amount of time between attacks), great boss fight

7. Sister Friede - It has a phase 3? OH IT HAS A PHASE 3! I would say to my friends whilst fighting this boss. That moment will stay with me for a long while, being the only boss to do that breaks the mould and I love the boss for that. Being the final boss of the first DLC made the rest of the disappointing DLC all worth it

6. Lorian, Elder Prince & Lothric, Younger Prince - Being the final enemy for most before facing the final boss of the storyline these two do not mess around, the first phase is pretty simple once you get used to it but Lorian having the ability to teleport means that you will be battling the first phase for a good few attempts, and then comes phase 2 which is so punishing, basically any time that you face it, having both strong melee attacks and also magic attacks at the same time makes for a very unique and interesting battle, not to forget it is very, very difficult. Also, great job killing the Demon prince, Lorian ;)

5. Pontiff Sulyvahn - I CAN NEVER DODGE HIS FIRST ATTACK! Right from the beginning of Irithyll you know this place means business, the step up from the catacombs to Irithyll is enormous, in my first playthrough I was stuck on the first 3 enemies (yeah you know the ones) for a good 30 minutes or so, after a while they don’t become a problem however, that is until you meet Pontiff, basically a beefed-up version of these basic Irithyll enemies with 2 swords (which looks amazing), even seeing him from the far end of the room as you enter the fog wall for the first time is enough for a player to want out, he is quick, punishing but if you manage to get a parry off it will feel amazing, did I not mention there are 2 of him later on?

4. Abyss Watchers - The first real boss battle in Dark Souls 3 I felt, and ohhhh boy is it a favourite of mine, fighting one of the watchers is enough of a challenge but oh wait there are 2 of them! Wait... 3? and is he fighting for me? This boss was fun right from the very beginning and phase 2 is very tough for an enemy this early into the game, having no previous Dark Souls experience I was stuck on this boss for an hour or so, I really started to love this game during this boss fight, maybe that is why it ranks so highly

3. Dancer of the Boreal Valley - Honestly I am not sure why everyone says that this boss is so difficult (I know it mixes up the attacks by having a random speed) but I had no trouble with this boss, never the less I adore this boss fight, I had heard nothing about this fight from my friends beforehand and so after defeating Aldrich and being teleported near the start of the game had me very confused, after initiating the cutscene I knew it was going to be a major boss battle. The way the dancer walks around the arena is both elegant and terrifying as it is so different that any other boss in the Dark Souls 3, the attacks are also elegant and the swirl that the dancer does after entering phase 2 is probably my favourite attack in the game.

2. Dragonslayer Armour - I don’t know why I love this boss as much as I do... It is not challenging and is fairly standard by Souls standards but it really struck a tone with me. The attacks are all punishing but are easily dodgeable and the armour gives many opportunities to attack but the arena is probably the coolest looking and the armour itself looks amazing, I don’t know why I love this boss really, it is a strange one

1. Nameless King - I LOVE this boss so much, everything from how you summon him to the cutscene at the end is just perfection, this boss should be the ‘final’ boss of the game (and I know by some people it is treated as such), the final challenge of Dark Souls 3 as it were (at least until The Ringed City releases). After having my ass handed to me multiple times just fighting phase 1 on my first playthrough, having the second phase for the first time in the game felt great, I remember thinking YES there is more of this boss, I never wanted to see it go, but beating it is a fantastic feeling

#Dark Souls #long post #jfc I wrote so much...

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villainousascent-blog · 8 years

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Fallout 4, Perspective, and a Better Way to Play

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. It's 2 years down the line, here's my advice on coming to Fallout 4 from previous titles.

Don't go into Fallout 4 expecting New Vegas, Fallout 3, or either of interplay's Fallout Titles. Go into expecting an engineering game. A plumbing game. An electrician game.

And now to talk about the Pitt DLC for Fallout 3*. I know that's confusing, but just. No. Stop. Don't go. Instead, sit and listen. Here. Let me explain. You see, I had a revelation.

After playing Fallout 4, I went back to Fallout 3, to test my mechanical knowledge of it, by never healing my bleeding, broken body, and never dying. A permadeath run. I wasn't allowed to fast travel, and if I died, that was that and the run ended. Mods, on the other hand were allowed, but they had to be appropriate to the run. I had an improvised weapons mod(because it fit the run, and fallout 3's atmosphere of lonesome, solitary desperation), an alternate repair mod the weapon mod kits mod, a smokable cigarettes mod, backpack mod, basic primary needs mod, killable children mod, a binoculars mod, and the classic fallout weapons mod. I also, by necessity had the CALIBR mod, Rh Ironsights, and CRAFT. The cigarettes mod was changed slightly to get rid of the charisma bonus. That was it.

If you want the rules, here they are. Healing the body with stimpaks, or healing crippled limbs, is forbidden. That doesn't however, mean that the body isn't allowed to heal itself. I'm just not allowed to intervene in that process. Same with radiation and addiction. I can, however, take preventative action. As well if say, the game deems it necessary to heal me in some way or another, who am I to say no. As well, using a mod,

I'll have to manage hunger, thirst, and exhaustion. If I can't manage any of those properly, I'm fucked, and the run ends.

A revelation came to me when I was playing through the Pitt DLC. For those of you that don't know, the bulk of that particular DLC takes place in Pittsburgh, New York, famous for its industry. That industry is steel production and processing, hence, Pittsburgh Steelers. The Pitt takes place primarily in a massive, monolithic foundry in the heart of New York industry. And now for more explanation. Spoilers, from here on out.

You begin by answering a distress call from a man named Wernher. When you finally meet him, his request is fairly straight forward, actually quite nice. Help him save his people. Things are rarely that simple, though. You see, his people are slaves, and in order to get in, you must disguise yourself as one. As a side note, to meet with him, you need to go far to the north, into scorpion and deathclaw territory. In order to fit the part, I met Wernher wearing the wasteland settler outfit, (mostly for the agility bonus, which helps with stealth), Three-Dog's Headwrap(Sorry threedog, but I needed the extra charisma and luck. Plus, I enjoy GNR's other, less well known host.) and a pair of biker goggles. I like to travel extremely light when doing stealth builds, which I was, and if I get shot on a build like that, death is certain. No need for armor. As well, I was equipped with a shoddy pipe rifle. Got to look the part, right? In my inventory, a backpack, a silenced mauser, some mines, a dart gun, a shishkebab, food, water, and a massive amount of drugs and alcohol. For the shishkebab, I wound up murdering a caravan. For the dart gun, Tenpenny Tower had to go. As for the drugs, combat drugs, morphine, rad x, psycho, mentats, etc. are allowed under the rules.

After a brief skirmish with the other denizens of the Pitt, which I, being the coward that I am, stayed out of, Wernher greets me. After a brief scolding, introductions are made, and he tells me about the Pitt. In his own words "I come from a place far to the northwest. It's called the Pitt. It's... Well... Lets's be honest... The place is a nightmare... Radiation, mutation, disease. But the worst of it: My people, some of the only survivors, are slaves." He's got one shot at helping his people, at making a difference, and he needs your help to do it. A pretty convincing plee for help, if I do say so myself. So, I agree to help. After all, with that argument, how can I say no?

First things, first, I need a disguise, and I need to do it without a fight. Money, than. I pay for the slaves, and free them. Aren't I a goody two-shoes? After taking the presumably rank smelling outfit from a man who expired from unknown causes, I went to meet up with Wernher at the tunnel.

The north of the map, is beautiful, and desolate, and gray. The Pitt, on the otherhand, is hot and smoky, overbearingly bright, the entire area dyed a brilliant orange from the flames and molten steel of the foundry. A strikingly beautiful shift in tone and atmosphere. After a brief conversation with Wernher, Lydia learn's what I already knew. She'll be stripped of all gear except a slave outfit, and a single 5 shot snubnosed .32 revolver. One of the worst firearms in the game. So, I begin to make my way across the bridge that serves to both defend the Pitt and prevent escape. It funnels witless morons both ways, and the entire thing is a time bomb, filled wuith land mines chemical waste barrels. At the foot of the bridge, I make a quick change of gear, swapping into the dead man's garb. Have to fit the part, remember?

I, or rather, Lydia makes her way, at a slow, barely perceptible crawl in order to not trigger any of the mines. As a result, she arrives, mostly safe and sound, and intact, if having gained a few more rads. I'm then greeted by Mex, who immediately "recognizes" me as a slave. The disguise worked.

I'm then dragged in, and meet with Midea(Get used to greek figures with slightly misspelled names. That will come up again.) And then the Pitt begins in earnest.

You see, Wernher. Was. Not. Kidding. Mutation and disease run rampant. Both master and slave alike, are affected. The people of the Pitt are covered in horrific and disgusting lesions, sorer, bruises and the like. Life in the Pitt, whether master or slave, is brutal, savage and unforgiving. Death is a guarantee. Both the air and water are vectors for the horrific diseases, mutations, and radiation that are a fact of life in the Pitt. Lydia, Desperate for a weapon, or salvation, went off to a man named Marco. He had a welcoming gift, the Auto Axe. The Auto Axe is a wonderfully, ridiculously powerful melee weapon, based off a masonry saw. No really, it is. It's as violent as chainsaw, without the risk of fleshy goop gunking up the works. She then goes to meet Everett and in the process, steals his cigarettes and pre-war money, and enters the Steel Yard, with one, singular purpose. Survive. From here on out, things are going to be incredibly stressful and difficult.

Something I briefly touched upon earlier was the verticality of the Pitt. The Steel Yard itself is massive, but a lot of this done through height rather than area. A single slip up, or tripping and falling, spells almost certain doom. If the injury doesn't kill you, the mutants and the radiation will. And if that doesn't manage to kill you, you're own body will. With a primary needs mod, the Pitt is even more brutal.

In the Steel Yard itself, there is this sort of massive, central tower that constantly belches radiation and smoke. It's a hell of a view, and tactically significant if you manage to fight your way up there.

Into the Steel Yard, and off to arm myself, and collect the ingots which would buy my salvation. The first 10, relatively easy. That gets you the Laborer's outfit, which grants an additional point of agility, strength, and endurance, each. The next 20, harder, but not impossible. The reward: the filtration helmet. A massively useful, rad resistance helmet. Essentially a gas mask. 10 more, and were up to 30. the reward here, not nearly as useful. At 40, the metal master armor. Eh. 50, the Metal blaster, an immensely powerful scatterlaser. 60, bombshell armor. Meh. 70, Leather rebel armor, charisma bonus. Meh. 80. The Mauler, one of two unique Auto Axes. 10 more and were at the most useful weapon in the Pitt. The Perferator. There, we stop. There are 10 more, and the reward is unique power armor, but I'm not interested right now. Along the way, I pick up an assault rifle, combat shotgun, hunting rifle, unique .32 pistol, and the Gamma Shield armor, all well very carefully dodging trogs. Trogs, for those of you that don't know, are the soft squishy, and incredibly lethal and dangerously strong mutants of the Pitt. Humans, affected by the disease and radiation, driven mad and turned into mindless beasts that crawl on all fours. Welcome to the Pitt, Slave. With a bit of damage, but not much, because of Med-X(morphine), I make way, after more than few questionable victories in the Steel Yard, to Midea again. Now, she says, it's time to fight in the hole, and earn both my freedom, and a chance to meet with leader of this horrific cesspool of disease, agony, torture, and slavery. A chance to meet with Ashur. A chance to steal the cure. The cure being the entire reason I'm here. How can I say no? A small note on Everett, by the way. He's my favorite character in the entire franchise, and he's funny and well written to boot. Kudos to Bethesda, by the way, for making one of, in my opinion, the most memorable characters in the series. Not a lot to say, but quite possibly the best written slave master I've seen. He's totally corrupt, and genuinely warm, which makes for a wonderful and eclectic, eccentric personality.

So, I volunteer to fight. A chance to earn a shot for my radiation is immensely valuable, at this point, due to advanced radiation poisoning, soon to be a level worse. You see, the Hole, is a radioactive pit, in which slaves fight for their freedom. The fighting is a brutally fast and completely savage affair, which ends in a matter of seconds, not minutes. It's a no holds barred death match. In the first fight, you're pitted against three other hopefuls. Speak to Faydra, the arena master, and enter. I chose to enter drugged up(Psycho, Buffout, MedX, Mentats, Cigarettes, Alcohol etc) beyond belief in the Laborer's Gear with it's damage resistance of 4 and Filtration mask, armed with the Perferator, the unique assault rifle that's been sawed down and given a scope and suppressor, from Everett, and the man opener, the utterly insane and unique Auto Axe from the massive warehouse in the Steel Yard. The first fight is lightning fast. All three hopefuls gunned down in a matter of seconds from a shrouded position in a corner near the entrance. I exited, and was gifted with most useful thing in the entire run. A radiation scrub. You have no idea how incredibly useful that is in a challenge run like this. Immediately back into the hole, switching to the Metal Blaster. Not my strong suit, but each projectile does a decent amount of damage, and there are 9 projectiles in total. Next up, the Bear Brothers. Dead in seconds. Lightning fast, but not fast enough, and utterly brutal. Last up, Gruber. Quick 5 shots. Dead. Took damage. Freedom. My reward? My equipment returned, and my freedom. After these fights I no longer have the luxury of getting into combat here. Need my health for other more pressing engagements, particularly when fighting tribals. I'm better equipped than I went in, but in worse condition. Survival is my priority. Time To meet with Ashur.

And here's where we start to get into Fallout 4.

So, into Ashur's home, to meet with him and his wife. Ashur is an ex-Brotherhood paladin, from when the Brotherhood of Steel came to the Pitt to solve it's issues, and salvage its technologies. Still in the Laborer's Outfit, but now with a headwrap and biker goggles, an odd combination to be sure. Led up to his home, Lydia proceeds to enter. After the brutality and the violence she's just been through, this is a nice change of pace. Walking up, we overhear a conversation between one of the masters of the Pitt, and THE Master of the Pitt. During this conversation, it's revealed that he doesn't like to call them slaves. He prefers workers. It gives the slaves hope. He wants to cure radiation. An interesting proposition, but how would one do that? The answer? His own child, who has a natural and transferable immunity. I sided with Ashur, because he wasn't willing to risk the health of his daughter in order to create a cure, and I wanted to survive. I also nicked his cigarettes.

Now, how and why would the Pitt give a different perspective on how to play and view Fallout 4. Well, let's let Ashur tell us. In his own words:

Lydia: "What do you mean about the city's future?"

Ashur: "Now that Marie's back, we have a chance at curing the disease that's been ravaging The Pitt since the bombs. Without it killing our kids, we can grow like a real city. No more bringing in slaves. No more forced labor. Things can get better. It's taken me a lot of work rebuild this city. With your help, it's finally going to have a chance."

Lydia: "So, what do I do now?"

Ashur: "That's up to you. We'll keep working on the cure and keep the city running. You're free to come and go as you like. Of course you can help out at the mill by collecting metal from the Steelyard. It'd help lighten the load on the workers. And if you want to work on Sandra's good side, you can always bring her toys for Marie. It's a little thing, but it would make a difference."

Lydia: "Do you ever miss the Brotherhood of Steel?"

Ashur: "Not in the slightest. During the scourge, we looted the Pitt and left the rest of it to rot. I was just a dumb convert who got stuck here afterwards. See, beneath it all, the Brotherhood's just lazy. It's easier to loot a dying city than work to bring it back to life, so that's what they did. They're so obsessed with the technology of the past, they don't care what needs to be done for today and tomorrow. It takes real, hard work to rebuild and run a city. But there isn't a machine to do it for them, so the Brotherhood ain't interested. Good riddance."

That last answer. Fallout 4 is Fallout from Ashur's perspective. It is a love letter to all those who help to keep society running. Engineers and plumbers. Electricians and architects. Doctors and mechanics. Chefs and farmers. Soldiers and search parties. If you go into Fallout 4, expecting it to play from the Brotherhood's perspective, expecting to loot and move on, you're going to have a bad time. However, if you go into it from Ashur's perspective, willing to put in the hard work, the time and effort to revive a dying civilization, you'll have an incredible, and rewarding experience, bursting with jaw droppingly beautiful vistas and incredible works of art.

This has been Villainous, signing off.

* Note that damage isn't perfectly talked about, because I'm actually not sure what my weapon skills were because somewhere in there, there's a level up missing, and the saves between the beginning of the steelyard and the end of the hole have been lost.

#fallout 4 #Fallout 3 #fallout #The Pitt #gaming

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shelawmsluderym09insurance-blog · 5 years

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Project Bo: Saving lives in Sierra Leone with Solar, Batteries and Twitter

Authored by: Michael Liebreich

In November 2017, browsing my Twitter timeline in the cab on the way to an industry dinner, I came across a Tweet that hit me like a punch in the guts:

“Three of our oxygen-dependent babies died last night when the power went off. Not good enough in 2017. Low-cost tech e.g. affordable solar power must be a priority for saving newborn lives.”

The Tweet was from Dr. Niall Conroy, Assistant Professor in Emergency Medical Science at University College Dublin, who had been shuttling between Ireland and Sierra Leone to set up a neonatal intensive care unit at the governmental hospital in Bo, the country’s third largest city, working with UNICEF and the Sierra Leone Ministry of Health and Sanitation.

Sierra Leone’s medical system was ravaged by the civil war which raged between 1991 and 2002. Then in 2014, the country was hit by Ebola, and for two years the country could focus only on mastering the outbreak, which claimed nearly 4,000 lives. In 2018, according to UNICEF data, Sierra Leone ranked second worst in the world for infant mortality, with 34 newborns dying for every thousand live births, and a further 48 dying before their fifth birthday.

For some context on the country’s energy landscape: In 2016, the World Bank reported that just over 20% of Sierra Leone’s population had access to electricity. Of that 20% with access, 46.9% live in urban areas, but only 2.5% live in the countryside. As of last year, the country’s 7.6 million population was served by just 170 MW of capacity. On average, Sierra Leoneans use just 61 kWh per person per year — just 1% of that used by the average EU resident, and 0.5% of the power used by the average American.

The neonatal unit at Bo Government Hospital is connected to the grid, but the grid is unreliable. The Bumbuna dam, completed in 2009 at a cost of $327 million, provides nearly half the country’s power. In the rainy season it delivers 50MW, but in the dry season the water level drops and it can manage only around 20MW, most of which is sent to the capital, Freetown. The rest of the country suffers frequent rolling power cuts, lasting as long as a week or more. Although there are plenty of plans and projects to increase generating capacity – including a $700 million 200 MW Phase II for Bumbuna, suppressed demand will easily mop up additional supply, and there is no chance that grid power in Sierra Leone is going to reach developed world levels of reliability in the foreseeable future.

From the point of view of a vulnerable baby in the neonatal unit at Bo Government Hospital, a 20 minute power cut can be tantamount to a death penalty. Infant-warmers, incubators and oxygen generators – which can be essential for survival – all require electricity: not huge amounts, but more than the average rooftop solar system serving just lights and phone chargers can supply, and it absolutely must be resilient.

It was hard to argue with the logic of Dr. Conroy’s tweet: It is indeed unacceptable that babies should be dying in this day and age because the local power supply is unreliable.

While others enjoyed the dinner, I reached out to Dr. Conroy. If he could handle the in-country side of things – permits from ministries, liaison with the hospital leadership – I committed to raising the money and managing the process of installing a reliable solar and battery system. I was lucky – because of my work with the UN’s Sustainable Energy for All initiative I could draw on a network of experts. Richenda Van Leeuwen, former Executive Director, Energy and Climate, Energy Access at the UN Foundation immediately volunteered to co-lead what we were soon calling Project Bo. My wife pitched in to build a website. Sonali Mehta and Harry Boyle, two early employees of New Energy Finance, now married, offered to help with fundraising. Laura Stachel, founder of We Care Solar, a US charity which provides solar systems for birth units in Africa, was a fount of advice.

We quickly settled on Energy for Opportunity, a Canadian NGO with operations in Freetown, as our local partner to design and build the system. Simon Willans, Executive Director and experienced African solar project developer, immediately sent a crew to Bo to scope the system. Within weeks we had the spec for a $100,000 system – 25 kW of solar PV panels and 125 kWh of battery storage – that would operate off-grid if necessary. We added in $5,000 to provide a tap so that the nurses no longer had to traverse the hospital lugging buckets of water, added a contingency of £25,000 for training, maintenance and unexpected costs, rounded the total to £100,000 and started fundraising.

The batteries – 125kWh of Deka lead gel cells – at the heart of the Project Bo power supply, Government Hospital Neonatal ICU in Bo, Sierra Leone. Copyright Niall Conroy.

The response was extraordinary. Within weeks we had raised the first $25,000, enough to order the batteries – the longest-lead-time item which had to be custom-built and shipped from the U.S. (we went for proven lead-gel Deka batteries rather than take a risk with lithium-ion). By the time they landed in Freetown, we had raised enough funds to build the whole system, and by August we had raised the full £100,000.

I am incredibly grateful for the generosity of our donors. A few were wealthy philanthropists; two institutions, the Hamburger Klimaschutz-Fonds (HKF) and Eurelectric (the association of European Electricity Utilities), were early supporters; but the majority were individuals who simply responded to our crowdfunding efforts – again mainly publicised via Twitter – and supported us with open hearts. I thank them all.

Project Bo’s system went live in September 2018. Once he has collected a year’s worth of comparable data, Dr. Conroy is planning to publish a peer-reviewed study of its impact. However, even based on preliminary data, it’s clear that it is saving lives. Controlling for other variables, it looks like mortality in the unit has dropped from 18% to 7% due to the advent of reliable power, potentially saving around eight lives per month.

If these figures hold up over time, the cost per life saved, assuming a system lifetime of just seven years, would be $156. This compares incredibly favourably with the oft-quoted record-low figure of $3,340 to save a child’s life via insecticide-treated mosquito nets. And there is no reason the Project Bo system should last only seven years – the batteries will need to be replaced around that time, but by then a new set should cost only $20,000 and will give another seven to 10 years of life-saving service.

We are still sitting on around $20,000 of the contingency raised as part of the appeal. The Project Bo steering group decided to spend it on initiatives that support maternal and neonatal health in Bo, rather than sit on it and wait until new batteries were needed. We donated $6,000 to We Care Solar for units at two maternal health units in the region around Bo, in recognition of their help. For the remainder, Dr. Conroy is working with the hospital leadership to identify the best use of funds, and will shortly submit a proposal. Most likely it will be spent on a dormitory for the mothers, who have nowhere to sleep while waiting to breastfeed babies admitted to the neonatal unit. Currently, they are sleeping outdoors and risking malaria, and in some cases, taking their babies home too early.

If it sounds like Project Bo was plain sailing, that is not entirely correct, there were certainly some rocky moments. And there were many lessons learned, which I believe are very much worth sharing.

First of all, here are five tips for anyone planning to undertake a project like Project Bo:

Go for it! Project Bo has proven that solar and battery-powered mini-grids can save lives. As described above, we don’t yet have definitive data, but it is clear that the system is producing results. When Dr. Conroy visited the unit shortly after the system went live he asked the head nurse if the electricity was saving lives. Her response was unequivocal: “Yes, yes, yes. Less babies are dying now” (read more of Dr Conroy’s impressions of his first visit to Bo after the system went live here). Yes, Richenda Van Leeuwen and I had the benefit of existing contacts to help us complete Project Bo, but with some determined networking, anyone could have done it.

Be ambitious but pragmatic. The first design Energy for Opportunity produced for the system was too small to run the equipment 24/7. The assumption was that right-sizing the system would make it too expensive. We insisted on a system that would solve the problem of intermittent power once and for all, and it was the right thing to do. However, we were also pragmatic: the system includes a small diesel generator, which can run the ward and charge the batteries in case of equipment failure. Given the choice between being 100% renewable or 100% resilient, when it comes to life-critical equipment, the choice is clear.

Focus on governance. I refused to kick off fundraising for Project Bo until Dr Conroy talked me through the leadership structure at the hospital and reassured me that equipment and facilities

Dr Conroy, Assistant Professor UCD Centre for Energency Medical Science, on the wards at the Government Hospital Neonatal ICU in Bo, Sierra Leone, which he helped to set up. Copyright Niall Conroy.

could be secured from theft. Even so, when the system was first installed, three unapproved air conditioners were immediately and mysteriously connected to it, causing unexpected power outages with potentially fatal consequences. Only after emergency intervention from Energy for Opportunity and training of the nurses could we feel confident the system would not be abused.

Budget for training and maintenance. This is something we insisted on from the start. We were determined to avoid the classic fate of the donor-funded mini-grid – it works fine when first installed, but no one is trained to use it, and there is no budget for maintenance. We set aside a contingency for regular visits by Energy for Opportunity to train the nurses and maintain the system, and financed a local store of spare parts (under lock and key). We are in the process of adding an internet connection so we can monitor system performance remotely.

Plan for suppressed demand. Prior to the installation of the Project Bo power supply, the neonatal unit was admitting up to 70 patients per month. Over the past six months, admissions have been up to 110. In part, this may be due to the improved treatment on offer – it is too early to tell. Whatever the reason, we did not think hard enough about future demand growth when identifying system requirements and developing the engineering design. I would feel more comfortable had we raised $25,000 more and installed a bigger system.

Secondly, here are five messages for the NGO, multilateral agency, and donor community:

Make medical appliances energy efficient. The equipment which drives demand for power at Bo Government Hospital’s neonatal unit – baby warmers, incubators, and oxygen concentrators – was donated by UNICEF at a cost of around $10,000 to $15,000. The Project Bo power system we built cost up to 10 times as much as the equipment it supplies! As things stand, there are no more efficient models on the market than the ones in use in Bo. But I am willing to bet that with a bottom-up redesign, their power demand could be halved. Even if the equipment cost were to double (which I sincerely doubt), the overall cost to provide life-saving care would be reduced. Come on medical equipment suppliers, let’s have models designed around the realities of the power supply in the developing world!

Reduce mini-grid system costs. Although the cost per life saved by Project Bo looks set to be incredibly low, $100,000 is a huge amount of money for a single hospital ward’s power supply, in the context of a country where GDP per capita is just $510. There is a need for resilient power throughout the health system in the developing world, but there will not be many other use cases where so many lives can be saved with such a simple intervention as in an urban neonatal intensive care unit. By standardising designs and procuring in bulk, it should be possible to reduce the cost of this type of resilient power supply, so they can be deployed throughout developing country health systems.

Create a clear customs waiver programme. The biggest uncertainty we experienced in budgeting for Project Bo was whether or not our equipment would be subject to customs duties. In general, humanitarian supplies are given a waiver, but you can’t bank on it up front. To receive our waiver, Energy for Opportunity and the hospital to request it from the Health Ministry, who had to inform the Finance Ministry, who had to inform Customs and Excise. None of this could be initiated until we had a Bill of Lading, which means precious time was lost. The multilateral community must surely be able to set up a robust pre-approval process, or even a blanket waiver of customs duties on clean energy equipment, given how vital it is for health, education, and economic development.

Proactively capture health-related power data. All we knew when we started Project Bo was that babies were dying because of power cuts. We had no idea how frequent they were, or how long they lasted. To this day, I have no idea if this data exists for Sierra Leone, the city of Bo or the hospital. As a result, we had to design a system that could effectively operate off-grid. With a year’s worth of accurate data, we might have been able to design a cheaper system – one with a smaller battery, or perhaps even one with no solar panels, using just intermittent grid power. In the case of Project Bo, the humanitarian need was so pressing, we did not have the luxury of collecting data before designing the system. A massive data-logging exercise focused on power quality at health facilities in developing countries would be a very good use of aid money.

Get smart about energy and aid. Let me be blunt: there is little point donating baby warmers and oxygen concentrators to a neonatal unit if the power supply is intermittent. I don’t want to be too harsh on UNICEF because they are far from the exception: the developing world is full of donor-funded equipment, at best run from diesel generators with horrible environmental impacts and unacceptable power quality, and at worst sitting unused until it disappears. Donors and aid agencies need to think of the power supply as an integral part of their offering, whether in health, education, agriculture, or economic development; they need to work shoulder-to-shoulder with the best clean energy NGOs, and everyone must be measured by the same metrics.

In summary, Project Bo has demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that clean energy can help make dramatic, rapid improvements in health outcomes among some of the most vulnerable populations in the world. However, these improvements will not accrue automatically through generic improvements in energy access. In health care, power quality – especially reliability – matters as much as quantity.

We need to take the lessons from Project Bo and from an increasing number of other projects like it, and apply them at a programmatic scale. There may be no other single intervention that could deliver such substantial improvements in health outcomes for vulnerable patients in poorer developing countries.

Finally, Project Bo was one of the most humbling and gratifying initiatives I have ever led. I can only thank our donors, Richenda Van Leeuwen and the other members of the Project Bo steering group, and the ever-inspiring, selfless Dr. Niall Conroy, whose tweet back in November 2017 was the catalyst that launched Project Bo.

Michael Liebreich is the Founder and CEO of Liebreich Associates. He founded and is now Senior Contributor to Bloomberg New Energy Finance. Michael was a founding member of the High Level Advisory Group for the UN Sustainable Energy for All initiative, and serves on a number of industry and governmental panels. The Liebreich Foundation is his family charity, funded mainly from the sale of New Energy Finance.

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Tony Jacklin recalls his historic Open win in 1969

Canadian rock star Bryan Adams wrote a song called Summer of & # 39; 69 that goes to a crescendo with a jumbled statement: & # 39; Those were the best days of my life

Fifty years later, it is not necessary to ask Tony Jacklin if he agrees. Slightly deaf in one ear, and with the rounded shape of a man turning 75 in July, he becomes positive rheumatoid when taken on a journey back to that golden summer, when he has changed the British wave forever

During the course of two extraordinary tournaments just 20 miles apart in north-west England, its popularity rose to the level of the starry forward line of Manchester United from Bobby Charlton, Denis Law and George Best .

British golfer Tony Jacklin won the Open during an unforgettable summer in 1969, an unforgettable summer in 1969 "

The son of Tony Jacklin won the Open during an unforgettable summer in 1969

a Scunthorpe driver, Jacklin did not have a truck with inferior clothes that played the game in this country, dressed in a shade of lavender, usually the domain of a self-assured American, I declined all visitors to Royal Lytham to become the first British golfer to win the Open for 18 years.

Then, in the dying embers of the summer, along the shoreline of Lancashire at Royal Birkdale, he took Jack Nicklaus in the last single match of the Ryder Cup – he beat him 4 & 3 in the morning – and got away with half a point signifying the first overall draw in the league history

The The last moments of both events have become part of the fabric of the British sports world. First an arrow-straight ride from Jacklin along the 18th in Lytham, carefully backed between dangerous bunkers, which led to an immortal piece of commentary by Henry Longhurst that summed up the breathless excitement.

& # 39; Oh, what a corker! & # 39; I exclaimed it. On the 18th green on the Ryder Cup, there was the prospect of a kneeling three-footer to decide everything until Nicklaus picked up Jacklin & # 39; s marker to win the putt for a halved match, while uttering his immortal words: & # 39; I not Jack Nicklaus (I) and Jacklin after the first overall draw.

& # 39; I see you bringing it back with you & # 39 ;, he says cheerfully.

The Concession is a 40-minute drive from the home of Jacklin & # 39; s Sarasota on the Gulf Coast of Florida .. Lindrick was the first ever Ryder Cup Lindrick Lane – the scene of a famous British and Irish Ryder Cup victory in 1957. Lindrick was the first Ryder Cup ever attended , and the reason why I started playing golf & # 39 ;, says Jacklin.

<img id = "i-13520ccafb83f9ff" src = "https://ift.tt/2CxdflW" height = "456" width = "634" alt = "<img id =" i-13520ccafb83f9ff "src =" https://ift.tt/2UMAqjc. jpg "height =" 456 "width =" 634 "alt =" The Concession Golf Club is a 40-minute drive from the home of Jackson on the Gulf Coast of Florida. is 40 minutes drive from the house of Jackson on the Gulf Coast of Florida "

The Concession Golf Club is 40 minutes drive from the Gulf Coast of Florida

The entrance walls contain paintings by some men who have made the Ryder Cup what it is today, and even better are the black-and-white photographs of the 1969 competition in the men's locker room. and Nicklaus, arms around each other's shoulders, when they came out of the 18th green on that unforgettable afternoon.

We start at the Open, where Jacklin sets the scene so beautifully, it could be an event last year, not an event half a century ago. & # 39; By the time I was ready, & # 39; he started. & # 39; I had won the Dunlop Masters in 1967 and had the first hole in one on British television. had gone to America and won the Jacksonville Open game with Arnold Palmer, with all of them one army, in the final round.

& # 39; I would be fine with Americans such as Gardner Dickinson, Bob Goalby, and Dave Hill. They called people like me & # 39; foreigners & # 39; and they made it clear that they didn't want us to play in America.

& # 39; About the first three rounds I would like to tell you about all the shots that I have played, but left golf is not like that, is it? Well, it wasn't back then before the modern club technology was added. It was about keeping your own, and I did. In the final round I was free with two shots and then it was about holding on. & # 39;

The fans were feverishly waiting. Could the arrogant young Englishman end the long wait? & # 39; I thought it was great that the crowd was like that & # 39 ;, says Jacklin. I was nervous but in a positive way, not anxious or scared. I felt like an actor and this was my stage. I was determined to embrace it. "

When he arrived on the 18th, he was two strokes for the New Zealand left-handed Bob Charles, who had won at Lytham six years earlier. & # 39; When I was standing on that tee, I thought I meet some of the near-misses for British and Irish players in recent years, such as Dave Thomas and Christy O & Connor, and they were essentially mainly due to a bad drive, Jacklin says.

& # 39; This was certainly not for the faint hearted: if you went left or right in one of the bunkers, you knew that you were a bogeyman, and I also knew that Bob was very capable of

& # 39; I had two years in America I worked hard to make my swing at the same speed under all conditions and this was the big test I said to myself: & # 39 ; TJ, wave wide and smoothly, & # 39; and I said it already. I saw it fly in the middle of the fairway. It was the best ride I have ever made. "

H The seven iron that followed up to 20ft was not bad either, nor the putt to drill in. Jacklin couldn't have been a better player, but he couldn't have been a better player than Jacklin.

Jacklin could have done without it. & # 39; I played in some events when I should have relaxed on a beach in Barbados and it took until the Ryder Cup to catch my breath again & # 39 ;, he summarizes.

Britain and Ireland – continental Europe wouldn't come another decade at the party – entered that contest on the back of five consecutive defeats, the last of which was the devastating margin of 23.5-8.5. Yet Jacklin remembers a cautious sense of optimism.

& # 39; We have some good players such as Peter Townsend and tenacity such as Brian Huggett & # 39 ;, he says. & # 39; I noticed that they were looking at my Open victory and thought, "Well, if I can tackle the Americans, we can." We had a fiery, determined captain in Eric Brown and much of the crowd had been in Lytham in July, so they were there too. & # 39;

So, however, the Americans were. They had insular men like Dave Hill and Ken Still in the team, who had a low opinion of non-Americans and a hard-bitten captain in Sam Snead. & # 39; It is reasonable to say that the atmosphere between some players was not good & # 39 ;, Jacklin recalls.

All this emphasizes the extent of the sporting gesture that would take place on the final green in the final. Jacklin had lost the 16th hole to go down one before sinking an eccentric 50-footer for an eagle on the 17th to square meter. On the 18th tee, both men knew that it all rested on the hole in front of them. Both hit nice three-layered tee shots.

& # 39; How are you feeling? & # 39;

asked the Golden Bear when he caught up with him. & # 39; Bloody petrified, & # 39; Jacklin replied. The big man laughed. & # 39; I thought that would be you, & # 39; Nicklaus replied. & # 39; I wanted to let you know that I was petrified too. & # 39;

Jacklin remembers: & # 39; I don't think there's a worse place than the 18th hole of a Ryder Cup with everything on your shoulders. I don't care who you are, you don't want the fate of your teammates and your nation to come to you. We both thought it was green with our approaches, but it was closer and when I stepped to three feet, I had a 20ft attempt to win. I thought that if I missed him, I would offer him a halved match, but when I passed him a meter or two, there was no chance.

& # 39; While studying his putts, I concentrated alone. I kept telling myself: "Whether it is now or not, you have to be yours". The next thing I knew was that I had entrenched myself and then I grabbed my marker. He said his famous words, and then he told me why. I could see the bigger picture. I knew that I had won the Open on the road, knew what that meant for the British race and it was not right for him what would happen if I missed the 3 meter. & # 39;

There was fury at the American ranks at the dealership. & # 39; Some people think Snead shouted: & # 39; We didn't come here as good guys, & # 39; but I don't know & # 39 ;, says Jacklin.

& # 39; What I do know is that they were a difficult group. I know what Dave Hill was because he said he didn't want foreigners to play in America, and I was sitting next to him at the time. I told him: & sit down, you miserable b ***** d & # 39 ;.

& # 39; Jack and Arnold were never like that. If you could play, eat. Jack and I have never been this way in the Ryder Cup, we were so competitive that we were happy to beat our kids, and we wanted to beat each other's brains. But if you can't see the other guy in the eye of the game, what the hell is it about? & # 39;

One day after the game, Jacklin wrote to Nicklaus – the only letter he had written in his 40-year career. & # 39; I want you to know that your gesture will stay with me forever & # 39 ;, he wrote.

It has too. A day before Jacklin's 75th birthday, Nicklaus will attend the celebrations, as the couple will remember the concession at a special dinner in Wentworth and the time of their life in the summer of & # 39; 69.

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