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b0r3dtod3ath · 1 year

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"Cause I <3 you, you’re the one that I adore :)"

Formula 1 masterlist

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: Assistant!reader x rdr!seb. Based on this request. Set during the 2012 season.

A/N: I know a few people wanted me to write this trope so here it is :) Also this fic is loosely inspired by BBM baby by Lana Del Rey.

“Yea, I still don’t understand why I need an assistant” Well this sentence certainly didn’t calm your anxiety as you were sitting on a chair, staring at the door. You were supposed to meet your boss, well not really a boss but a person you were supposed to help. He wasn’t just a random person, he was Sebastian Vettel, two-time world champion in Formula 1. You were a fan of this sport so when an opportunity for you to work in that field appeared, you took it without thinking twice. Maybe you weren’t one of the most important employees on the paddock nonetheless you still got to travel the world and be a part of every race week. “Sebastian, you were late for the last three meetings. I can’t be looking after you all the time.” a female voice said. You recognized it - it was Sebastian’s press officer. She was a lovely lady. You got to meet her because she was the one recruiting you. “So you are really getting me a babysitter?” huffed the driver. The door in front of you opened causing you to jump from your seat and put on a smile. “Hi! Nice to see you again! Come on in!” said the lady. As you walked in a tall, blonde boy sat up and introduced himself “Sebastian Vettel. You can call me Seb. Nice to meet you.” The eye contact made your cheeks heat up a little “Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure working with you”. As you sat down you heard Sebastian whisper a quiet “It sure is” under his nose.

You came up with the idea of a maximum of 10-minute long meetings after breakfast during the race weekend. They were meant for you to give Seb a quick overview for the day - what is he doing at what time. You were sitting at the hotel’s restaurant, waiting for him to show up, you didn’t expect him to show up on time but he barely managed to. “Hi, sorry. I hope you didn’t wait long” he said as he sat opposite to you. “Good morning, I’m fine, you are on time actually” you greeted him with a smile, chuckling at his messy bed hair. “So today you are supposed to first meet your physiotherapist and then” you were interrupted by sniffling. Probably a morning runny nose. You grabbed your small purse and handed a tissue to the man. “Thank you” he said, surprised that you noticed. “So then you have a first practice session at 1PM and..” - you quickly went over what was planned for the day “Alright, any questions? If you really want to move some meetings then let me know and I will try to figure out something. I’m leaving this paper for you to know what’s going on and I think that’s it.” you handed him a post-it note with everything neatly written. Cute writing he thought as he looked at it "There's also my number if you need something and I happen not to be around”. Oh yea, he was definitely gonna use this one.

After a few races, you started developing a more casual relationship - it could even be called a friendship. The chemistry never left working hours. You didn’t understand why but it bothered you. Well, you noticed some signals - butterflies in your stomach appearing when you two held eye contact for more than a second, your heart skipping a beat when you accidentally touch or the heat rising to your cheeks every time he calls you by your nickname. You were a walking symptom of having a crush and yet you denied it. “I’m working for him, of course, we have to be nice to each other! He’s like that to every female reporter, a cheeky little bastard.” or “It’s his job to treat me nice.” you used to tell your friend on a phone, whispering as if Sebastian was to hear you. Little did you know, he has in fact changed his behavior towards women once you appeared in his life, he started being less flirty and reckless but not in terms of you. He would never tell you to do anything for him because it felt weird to him. At first, you were looking after him like he was a child - checking in if he was hungry or if he needed water. He never complained about being looked after because he found it comforting. He felt like you were truly caring for him, a feeling that he hadn’t felt in years due to his lifestyle.

You would never call him unless he was late. Sebastian was in his hotel room, sprawled out on the bed, head with messy blonde hair buried in pillows. His peaceful sleep was interrupted by the sound of his ringtone. “Huh?” his eyes still closed “Seb, you were supposed to text me when you wake up so you won’t be late again. Please tell me you got up” your voice was a sound he wished to wake up for the rest of his life “Mrrh Dreaming? An angel called me?” he said half awake completely ignoring your tone “Great, amazing even. Vettel, wake up. I’m gonna come to your room in 10 minutes and please cooperate”. Even though you were the same age you sometimes felt like you were babysitting him. Sebastian obeyed you and got dressed. He liked to annoy you a bit but he would be cautious not to cause you too much trouble. You knocked on his door not expecting him to be ready. To your surprise, you were greeted by a fully dressed Sebastian holding his toothbrush. He gestured to you to come in. You have never been to his hotel room so it a bit personal. You stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. Your eyes wandered around the room which looked more neat than you expected - no clothes laying around and only his phone and a half-empty water bottle on his nightstand but the bed looked like a mess and you couldn’t judge him, after all he did wake up less than ten minutes before. The bathroom door was opened so you were able to observe him brushing his teeth. It was a thing he did everyday (even more than once!) yet it felt almost intimate. “Okay, let’s go” he said with a big smile once he finished and held the door for you. You were heading for a team meeting that you were also a part of. Your role there was to take notes that were handed to the driver later. Sebastian couldn’t take his eyes off you, sitting next to him as you wrote something important that he didn’t even hear. He loved to watch you in this state where you were so focused you barely paid attention to anything else. He loved the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear or play with a pen anytime there was something not worth writing down discussed. When the meeting was over you handed him the paper, he didn’t even look at it but the thing that caught his attention was your dress. It wasn’t revealing or stereotypically sexy - little flowers on a navy background, short sleeves and knee length just suited your personality in his mind. “Nice dress” he said, catching you off guard as you were saying your goodbyes. This weekend Sebastian finished P1 getting closer and closer to his next world champion title.

Next weekend was the last weekend before the summer break. Even though you had lost your hope in terms of your emotions towards Sebastian there was a little part of you that still wished that he would make some kind of a move. It was Saturday night, you had already showered and got yourself ready to bed. You heard a notification and looked at the screen of your phone. “I’m outside your door. Wanna talk to you. XOXO, Seb :)”. He himself didn’t know why he ended the text like that. He was just nervous and high on adrenaline. The message was followed by three gentle knocks on your door. You let Sebastian in and before you could say anything he grabbed your hands and said “I, I I think I love you. For the past few months you had been my sunshine. You make me happier. I adore everything about you, every single little detail. Please make me an even happier man and let me take you out for dinner. And wear that dress you wore last week."

#writers on tumblr #fan fic writing #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #sebastian vettel imagines #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel imagine #rbr seb

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collidescopeeyes · 4 months

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Hey all, know I've been quiet but I'm in the home stretch!! Just gotta survive three more days and then exams are over, pray for me 🙏

Anyway in honor of me spending my weekend fighting for my life trying to memorize formulas that look like alphabet soup:

Heartsteel helping you study headcanons

Kayn

- Let's be real he ain't helping. Like he understands this is important and you need to focus but he also really, really wants your attention, are you sure it's not time for you to take a break? No? :(

- Like you'll be taking notes and you'll just see him in the background slowly vibrating out of his skin restraining himself from bothering you. But also, he ain't gonna leave unless you ask him to, he'd still rather hang out with you ignoring him than not spend time with you.

- Let him quiz you or something, please he'll do such a good job just pleeeease pay attention to him. Or just talk him about whatever it is you're working on, he'll do his best to follow along but really it doesn't matter if he doesn't understand, if having someone to bounce ideas off of helps you then he's absolutely there for that.

- Largely mollified if you work while sitting on his lap. He'll do his best not to be distracting, he promises. That being said, if you try to work one minute past when you said you were gonna stop your laptop is getting ejected and he will be pouncing on you, he's been so patient goddamnit.

Aphelios

- Will actually help you study. He's pretty well read so there's a few subjects he can help you with, otherwise he just sits next to you and keeps you on track. There will be no getting distracted by your phone on his watch, and you will be taking regular breaks. Mostly he's doing his own thing so he doesn't bother you, like mixing tracks with his headphones on, but trust me he Will notice if you start slacking off.

- Honestly he's the kind of guy who appreciates just spending time in the same space as you

- Recruits Alune to retrieve snacks. She's also very willing to help if it's a subject she's familiar with, but she's also very talkative with people she likes so Phel will shoo her away if she's distracting you.

- If he can, will help organize your notes or put together flash cards. Great at quizzing you, though he also tends to ask insane niche question that really tests your understanding.

Sett

- The only reason he had decent grades in high school was because he didn't want to upset his mom, so he knuckled down and worked his ass off. He sucks at studying otherwise, he never had the patience for it, so he really respects your determination

- If you tell him you're gonna work and then end up on your phone he Will notice. He knows all the tricks in the book, he used them himself, you are not gonna start after just one more video, you're gonna start now. He's pretty hard to argue with when he's got his Boss voice on.

- That being said, he ain't gonna be much help with academics–even the stuff he's great at, like songwriting, he doesn't really consciously think about; he just has an intuitive sense of what does and doesn't work, and goes purely off of what feels right.

- Any other support he can offer though, he's There. You want snacks? A quiet spot to study? Coffee on the hour every hour? He's got you, ask and you shall receive.

- He's drawing the line if you start going overboard though, working tired is worse than not working at all so you're gonna call it for the night and come back when you're back on your game.

Yone

- Another man who's likely to actually know the subject you're studying. He'll sit down with you and help you make a study plan, and then he'll make sure you actually stick to it. A firm yet gentle hand–he’s used to dealing with that lot, keeping you on track is easy mode comparatively. Also, he'll find a way to minimize potential distractions so sneakily you won't even notice, like you get the urge to go on your socials but your phone's somehow all the way over on the couch so it's too much effort.

- Offers to let you study at his place. It's a very quiet and relaxing space, and also he point blank bans any of the other band members from bothering either of you while you're working.

- You thought that thing about herbal tea helping with concentration was an old wives tale but whatever is in this little clay cup is legitimately a god send. He also makes his own wagashi, and it's so pretty you'd almost feel bad about eating it if it didn't taste so good.

- Helps you with flashcards and quizzes and anything else that will help you feel prepared. Will go out of his way to read up on the subject so he can help you better.

Ezreal

- This guy 100% has undiagnosed ADHD, I don't make the rules. Unlike Kayn who has some pretty obvious hyperactivity symptoms, Ez is one of those people whose like ‘nahhh I can't have that, I get on just fine when it's something I'm interested in :)) in fact I'm so good at studying things I'm interested in that I'll do it for hours at a time without taking breaks! :)) that's normal!’. So while he really wants to be helpful, he has horrible studying habits and honestly he's impressed you're starting before midnight the night before your test. If you need someone to keep an eye on your bad study habits, he is not the guy. If you need a quick confidence boost or moral support though, he's absolutely there for you.

- Extremely knowledgeable on a very specific and eclectic range of subjects. If you happen to by studying ancient history he will explode with excitement, babygirl he knows facts you couldn't even begin to be assessed on.

- He'll bring you your favorite snacks and drinks! Occasionally he'll start talking to you only to remember you're busy and cut himself off mid word–he doesn't mean to, it's just whenever he finds something interesting he immediately wants to share it with you.

- Second you say you're done he'll insist on doing something to celebrate, whatever gets your batteries recharged, whether that's going out and doing something fun or snuggling down and watching a movie, he thinks you deserve a reward.

K’Sante

- Actually very studious, he knows how to knuckle down and get something done. If you have trouble keeping on track he can help with that. Like he gets this gaggle of dumbasses to meet deadlines, he's pretty good at figuring out what motivates people

- His knowledge base is mostly music theory and visual design, but he'll help out if he can.

- He'll invite you to his place and make you lunch as a treat, which is very motivating because he is a fantastic cook. Plying you with food is also his way of maneuvering you into taking breaks when you need them.

- He can tell when you start slowing down and need to call it for the day, and gently extracts you from your work by suggesting you take a walk and stretch your legs or something.

Bonus

- Whole band is throwing you a party as soon as your exams are over, whether it's a celebration of your hard work or a ‘thank fuck it's over’ bash. There will be another party when you get your results back, they'll take any excuse for a party if it means you'll be there.

#league of legends x reader #league x reader #leauge of legends #reader fic #x reader #reader #heartsteel #kayn lol #sett lol #ezreal lol #k'sante lol #aphelios lol #yone lol

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skinnywalker · 2 years

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Professional protector (Aaron Hotchner x nanny! male reader)

It's become a slight problem. Most nights it Hotch was late. Some he wasn't home at all and babysitters were only so reliable.

"You're really using Garica to get a other new babysitter?"

"I'm not trust random teens with my boy."

Emily rolls her eyes and pulls away the file of potential names.

"Can't you just hire a full time?"

Hotch groans.

"Same problem."

"Well it's either a once time issue or a till-jack-is-grown issue so make up you mind."

She's right of course, he needs to just bite the bullet.

After nearly an hour of barely scrapable options Hotch's attention was caught by a face.

Young, clean cut, handsome and with a bakround in child care. He gives Hocth a strange stomach twist, the kind he felt in high-school when he meet Harley. That same at once connection.

"Is he free?"

"Looks like it. Says on his employee web page he is open for full weekdays."

"Send that to me would you?"

Garcia can't help the small grin that crosses her lips.

"At once my lord."

From his nightstand the buzz of that familiar notification sounds him awake.

Clients.

He checks the profile his boss Diane always sends but this one is different than normal. He is used to business men who don't have time for their children but the man is an FBI agent and high in ranks too.

Doesn't look half bad either.

"How much is the pay?

"60 an hour."

He stops dead in his track.

"60? For one child and house sitting?"

"Ahuh. He asked me if that was too low."

"Too low?!"

She smiled at him with a gleam I her eyes.

"He really wanted you specifically."

Hotch keep glancing at his watch. He wasn't late but Hotch was nervous he might be.

"Excuse are you Mr. Hotchner?"

He's pretty in person Hotch thinks. More real. More warm. He's bright-looking but not cocky. Fair featured but no vain. He could reach out his hand and Hotch would near before him to kiss it without even thinking.

"Yes, you must be the nanny."

"Ahuh. Would you like to go over the details of what you need me to do while your away?"

Hotch smiles. He has no clue why but it feels natural.

"Of course."

Hotch leads him through the house explain everything he needs from the house care side of things.

"-and if you can't try to fold the blankets to fit in properly I'd be really thankful."

"Of course. What about your son?"

"Jack spends most of the day at school. He still in k-8 and does sometimes need homework help. He can make his own food but often prefers it made. He has 2-3 hours of screen time weekdays and 4 on weekends. He'll want to call me when I'm out of town which you can also do if you need anything."

He nods. Simple kid.

"He always wants to come along on grocery trips and basically anytime you leave the house."

Hotch hands him the house keys.

"And most importantly he'll ask for want he wants and his bedtime is 8:30."

"Got it. I call you at night if I have questions."

"Daddy?"

The two turn to see a sleepy toddler standing in door way. His spider-man pj's frumbled from napping.

"Hey Jack buddy, this is your new babysitter. He'll be here all day till I come back in the evenings so you don't have to be alone at home."

Jack looks up. Hotch feels the two smiling at eachother. His heart is aching know Jack is already bonding with the nanny. This have been a good idea.

"I have to go home today Jack but I'll see you again tomorrow ok?"

"Ok! Can we play with my Lego pirates."

"We can play whatever you want to Jack."

Hotch loves that smile on Jack. The innocent love. His boy is safe.

"Hotch? We have an emergency."

"What is it J.J.?"

"Ten victims all male in their 20s and the unsub is moving."

"I'll be there in ten mintues."

Hotch's body knows the routine of his morning work runs so well it work on autopilot.

Lastly he kisses Jack's sleeping head and text his new nanny 8 words.

"Flying for work for at least a week."

He'll get what I mean Hotch thinks before he stops himself. Why is he so sure? He doesn't even know the guy and he is trusting him like an old friend already. That's not good but Hotch can't seem to stop himself. He doesn't trust easily but something about him is so safe. So at home at ease. Hotch hates how his walls are just gone the moment he met a pretty man who takes care of his son. Hotch hopes he'll stay.

"He's targeting men who seem successful in love. Men with kids and partners and well paying jobs. Young man living how he wants to live. And he does it through robbery and hold ups. He is choosing targets on the fly."

"Where do we thinking he is making his way to?"

"Maybe his home or his get away car. I don't think he can keep this up for too long and I know he thinks that too."

At the hotel Hotch picks up his nightly call.

"How's your nanny been buddy?"

"I love daddy! He is super smart and he knew all about the history for my test on Tuesday and he makes such good pasta and he read me all the books I have trouble with!"

Hotch feel his stomach twist again. Just like a dad.

"That's great buddy. I'm glad you like him so much."

"He is gonna be my new best friend."

"I'm sure he will sweets now you need to good to bed."

"Ok, Goodnight daddy."

"Sleepwell Buddy. I love you."

"Love you too!"

He's safe. He's for the first time Hotch feels confident in thinking that Jack is really safe and happy. He sleeps better that night then he has in a while.

"Unsub is now in Virginia and he's getting risky. Going straight for our home now. He might even be there at this moment."

"So we came out here just to go home?"

"No, we came out here to know for certain he is home. Let's go."

Jack had asked to come along to the Cafe. He had followed his nanny to the counter and was rewarded with a small pink lemonade.

"Have you ever tried limeade or just lemon?"

He shakes his head no.

"Never liked lime. Too sour."

He chuckles.

"I like a lot of sour things especially ones that have some sweet in them."

"Everyone get on the floor! This is a hold up and if everyone behaves no one will get hurt."

Jack looks up confused and then frighten.

"Nanny?"

"Comere Jack. Everything will be alright."

"We've tracked him to a Cafe he's holding up. Swat is on their way but we don't time on our side."

"How fast can we get there?"

"20."

"20 is not fast enough."

"You, with the blonde kid. Move up here."

His arms wrap around Jack and gently lead them both to the front.

"Give him to me."

"No."

His breathing hitches.

"I'm not letting you near him. You'll have to take me first."

The click of the handriffle echoed in his ears before he felt the the world go black.

When the room came back into focus he realized he was in the ER. His chest was burning. He could feel the dizziness bringing him in and out of blurry awareness.

"Hey, just rest, you're really injured."

"Jack.. what about Jack?"

"He's safe with his father."

A knock at the door interrupts them.

"Hello Doctor is it OK for me to see him?"

"Mr. Hotch? Is that you?"

Hotch leans over the hospital bed brush some hair.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been worse."

"Worse than shot?"

He giggled even though it hurt.

"Yeah. I'm better knowing Jack is safe."

"He was really scared for you, so was I. You don't know how much it means to me that you put yourself in such danger for my boy."

"I'd do it again."

Hotch felt strange. On one hand he was deeply relieved that he was safe but such a close call had his nerves in a twist. It was like a weight had been added to his psyche. Hotch couldn't let anything happen to him. He felt protective.

"How is he?"

"Exhausted but ok."

"Hotch I know he is just your nanny but you seem pretty worried."

"I can't help but be. He nearly died keeping Jack safe. I don't know what could've happened if I hired someone less bare. This whole time I've felt so.... connected with him. Like he is someone who I can trust."

"Does Agent Aaron Hotchner have a slight crush."

Oh no.

#aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x male reader #aaron hotchner x male reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds x male reader #criminal minds x reader

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newtthetranswriter · 10 months

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Mike schimt x reader but

as bodyguard!mike x shy!reader

I’m not the best at requesting things so I hope this helps

Word count: 2040

Paring: Mike Schmidt x Gn! Reader

Summary: After Freddy Fazbear’s, Mike takes a job as a local singer’s bodyguard.

A/n: Thank you for requesting, I enjoyed writing this for you. I hope this is what you were hoping for,but it’s the idea I got from seeing Bodyguard. Anyway keep requesting and have a good day. Just remember to Hydrate or Diedrate.

Shortly after the events that happened at Freddy Fazbear’s, Mike desperately needed a new job. Sure he could still keep an eye on the place but after all that happened to him and the fact that he almost lost Abby, he decided finding a different job was for the best. Luckily while looking for work he saw a job posting for a bodyguard position. It wasn’t the best job but the details were simple in it was keeping any eye on a local singer who had a somewhat of a large fan base, and had recently started receiving some unsettling messages and just wanted some extra protection. Upon considering it he figured why not as the chance of animatronics being the culprit was pretty slim, so he applied and waited for a response.

About a week later he received a call offering him the position and requesting he meet with his new boss at Sparky’s dinner. After taking Abby to school he went back home dressed in his best outfit and headed out to meet with the person he would now be protecting. When he entered the dinner and moved to the booth he was directed to by the nerd waiter, he was shocked to see a person wearing a beanie and sunglasses paired with a large coat covering their figure.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Y/n.” he said to the figure as they turned to him quickly and looked back at the table. They gave a small nod, motioning him to sit down with them. “So are you Y/n?” Mike received a nod in response. It didn’t take long to figure out that this person was extremely shy and it probably took a lot for them to have even agreed to hire a bodyguard, let alone become popular enough to need one. “Can I ask what it is you would like me to do as your bodyguard?”

Y/n nodded their head before seemingly realizing they would need to speak to this new person. “I just need you to come with me to my shows on the weekends and keep the creeps away. Nothing has happened yet, but I’d rather be safe. Plus some guy has been sending me mail that says some messed up shit, and I think that if I have someone with me when I go to shows he might stop.” They explained quietly. If Mike hadn’t spent so long with Abby who spoke rather quietly for a while he probably wouldn't have been able to understand what was said, but he understood.

“Not to sound ungrateful for the job, but why get a bodyguard instead of going to the police?” He asked genuinely confused, if some guy was making threats shouldn’t the police do something.

Y/n turned away and mumbled a response before looking at the confused man in front of them. “They won’t do anything. I’ve tried but because there is no proof they are real threats they say there’s nothing they can do.” They spoke a little louder this time.

Mike continued to ask questions about the job, and about Y/n. He learned quickly that they were the lead singer of a local cover band who played at clubs and stuff around. It seemed many people truly enjoyed their music and they apparently had a larger following on the internet as well. Mike also learned that Y/n was always pretty shy and it was their bandmates who pushed them to get a bodyguard. With some sound knowledge of his new job he bid his boss farewell, agreeing to meet them two hours before their next show that friday.

Friday came quicker than he thought it would. But as the time to meet with his boss came closer he realized he had no one to watch Abby while he was working. Everyone he tried was busy and he cursed himself for waiting until the last minute to find a babysitter for his sister. Running out of time he decided she would have to go with him and hopefully beagle to wait backstage during the show. “Abby come on grab your bag and a blanket, you’re coming to work with me tonight.” Mike shouted as he scrambled to find his keys.

The young girl quickly grabbed her backpack and blanket excited to see what fun job her brother had now. “What is your job now?” She asked as she got in the car.

“Just keeping someone safe while they sing for some people. While we are there, either color or sleep, don't go running around, I won't be able to watch you.” he said looking at Abby in the rearview mirror. Receiving a nod he smiled and then headed to the location he was meeting with Y/n at.

When they arrived they went around the back of the club to the employee entrance Mike had been told to go through. He texted Y/n, informing them that he was there and needed to be let in. After only a few minutes, he was greeted by a familiar face opening the door. Y/n greeted him and motioned for him to come inside quickly, noticing the young girl following behind.

“And who is this?” They questioned after greeting Mike. Y/n reached their hand out for Abby to shack.

Before Mike could respond Abby spoke up. “I’m Abby, my brother forgot to find a babysitter before today and didn’t want to leave me home alone.” She said, shaking the kind stranger's hand.

“Sorry about this, I hope it’s okay. I totally forgot to find a sitter and it wasn’t a good idea to leave her home, if it’s okay she can just sit in the back and draw or sleep, she won’t be a problem.” Mike went on explaining why he brought his sister to his first day on the job.

Y/n placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, I understand she can sit in the dressing room, I’ll have some of the kitchen staff bring in some food for her as well.” Y/n explained before guiding the pair to the fitting room.

After getting Abby settled in the dressing room, Mike sat and watched as Y/n and their band practiced, enjoying the music and completely amazed at how well the different genres of music flowed and worked together. The band played anything from My Chemical Romance to Bon Jovi, even some older country music. It wasn’t necessarily the kind of music you would think would fit a club but after rehearsal Y/n had explained that all kinds of people visited the club and over time requested most of the songs they played in their sets now, and so it evolved into this crazy mixture of music from every genre.

A few hours later Y/n’s band had finished their performance and decided to enjoy the rest of the night while a different group performed. Mike decided that since he noticed Y/n head to the bathroom he would quickly go in the back to check on Abby. When he got to the dressing room he saw Abby asleep on one of the chairs and headed back out to keep an eye on Y/n. Reaching the busy club he spotted Y/n trying to get a drink from the bar. Keyword there being trying, there was an older man who kept talking to them, completely ignoring the fact they were trying desperately to ignore him.

Seeing this as one of the things he was hired to help stop he approached the pair. “Excuse me Sir, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave them alone. They're not interested and I would hate to cause a scene.” Hearing his voice Y/n moved to stand behind Mike.

The man that had been bugging Y/n turned to Mike. “And why do you think such a pretty thing isn’t interested in me? What are you their boytoy coming to protect them?” The man sneered at Mike. He then reached his hand out to grab Y/n’s arm. “I think we were having a pleasant chat.”

Spotting the hand reaching for Y/n, Mike quickly threw a powerful punch into the man’s face, receiving a resounding crack as his nose broke under the force. “They aren’t interested in you because you’re a creep. And I’m just here to keep creepy bags of trash from making them uncomfortable.” With that Mike quickly guided Y/n back to the dressing room apologizing for punching the guy even if he deserved it.

Once in the safety of the dressing room, Y/n couldn’t help but cry. “Thank you for stopping that guy, he just kept on insisting that he buy me a drink when all I was trying to do was get some water.” They said quietly, having noticed Abby asleep when they came in. Even though they had barely known Mike for a week they couldn’t help but to fall into his chest hugging him thanks.

Realizing how distressed Y/n was Mike made a decision. “How about you tell your bandmates that I’m gonna give you a ride home, that way you can get out of here and not deal with any more crazy people tonight.” He offered gently running a hand down their back in a comforting way.

Y/n nodded in agreement accepting the offer and then quickly texted their friends explaining what happened and that Mike would be taking them home. After that Mike gently woke Abby, grabbing her bag and blanket. He guided a half asleep Abby, and Y/n out to his car. He got Y/n’s address from them and proceeded to take them home before going home to sleep himself.

After a few months of working for Y/n, Mike grew closer to them and found himself hanging out with them even when it wasn’t for work. They had become great friends, and instances like the first night he worked for Y/n happened less and less. It also seemed their band’s fans ahad noticed him not only at the clubs they performed but the online fan base began to notice him in videos and were asking for answers. They all wanted to know who the guy always hanging around Y/n was and why he just suddenly appeared. Don’t even get them started on the theories, most of which were that Mike was Y/n’s boyfriend and they were trying to keep it quiet.

With the growing speculation, Y/n decided (more like the band told them) that they need to address this with their fans, and asked Mike to join them for a quick Youtube video. Mike met up with Y/n at their apartment, ready to address the concerns. After setting up the cameras Y/n had Mike wait out of shot before starting the video.

“S-sso we have seen your questions about the guy who can be seen near the stage in all of our videos over the past months, and have decided It’s time to tell you guys the truth. So without further ado this is Mike, My bodyguard.” Y/n motioned for Mike to sit next to them. He gave a small wave to the camera and a quiet hi. “He’s been working for me for a few months because someone was making threats and he’s been at all the shows to make sure nothing happens to me, and he has saved me from so many creeps in that time.” Y/n smiled. “And with the pressure from my Bandmates, and you guys of course I’ve decided to introduce him.”

They recorded for probably twenty more minutes answering some questions that had been asked over the past few months before signing off and sending the video to be edited. Deciding to not let the day go to waste, Mike Invited Y/n out for lunch and a movie. Maybe he started as just their bodyguard but he was slowly becoming more. If the fans were right about him being Y/n’s boyfriend was unclear right now but it was starting to look like that would soon change. Though they wouldn’t tell them that yet.

#fnaf movie x reader #fnaf x reader #mike schimdt x reader #mike schmidt #mike x reader #gn!reader

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fizzing-imagines · 1 year

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Playtime Pt. 1 | Daycare Teacher! Billy Hargrove x Reader

Notes: This, too, has been living in my head rent-free

Warnings: Alcohol consumtion, pregnancy

Words: 2k

Your best friend and roommate Jenny called in a panic, asking you if you could pick up her 1-year old daughter, your godchild, from her daycare as she started running a fever unexpectedly. She put you down as an emergency contact at her daycare, and she was so caught-up at work that her boss wouldn't let her leave. Of course you agreed, you loved your godchild and treated her as your own. So you got into your car and drove down to said daycare. Once you arrived, you saw the photowall with the employees pictures at the entrance as a new face struck out to you. A handsome, young guy named William Hargrove. You greeted the known faces of the other attendants as you quickly made your way into her toddler room.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up Ari.", you said to the new employee, William, as you entered. "Are you her godmother?", he asked you. "I'll have to ID you because I've never been here for you to pick her up." You gave him an understanding nodd before fishing your wallet out of your bag. Once found, you showed him your ID to which he turned around and got Ari from the book corner. Her face was flushed red and her eyes were watery. "(Y/N).", she mumbled as she reached out her arms to get to you. Happily, you carried her on your arms to make her feel better. "Can I ask you a question?", you asked William in a worried tone. "Sure, any time.", he said with a smile. "I've never took care of a sick toddler, and her mum works for three more hours. What do I do now?" You were at a loss, Jenny always knew what to do. This was a first, for both you and Ari. "Well, I don't have any kids of my own so I can't really recommend anything. Other parents here use Calpol though." You nodded your head while mumbling "Calpol, okay." to help yourself remember. "And cold compresses on the legs and neck if her fever gets higher." You nodded once again. "But it's best if you try and go to the doctor with her, they can tell you much more than I can." He smiled at you as you nodded for the third time. "Thank you so much, and thank you for looking after her.", you said while smiling back at him. "It's not a big deal. Just remember that we have a 48-hour rule of being free of symptoms until she can return to daycare." You were happy that he told you, because you wouldn't have known any of that. "Thank you very much, William.", you said with a smile. "Just call me Billy."

Ari stayed home with you for the entire week as you were on a two-week holiday for your mental health. It helped you a lot, actually, as you had a hard time getting up and doing anything for yourself. So taking care of a tiny human, feeding her, putting her to bed, bathing her, it helped you with doing something good for yourself. So good that, when Jenny was home for the weekend, you decided to go out partying with two friends from high school on a Sunday night. You picked out a beautiful dress, did your makeup, styled your hair and you haven't felt this good about yourself in weeks. After months of low confidence, it shot through the roof just like that.

The club was loud and smelly. People were chatting, dancing, making out in some corner and most of all, drinking alcohol like it was water. Your friends made it their goal for the night as well and made a bee-line to the bar with you. They ordered three shots of tequila, followed by a mojito and a vodka-soda. As you felt the alcohol kicking in, you felt like dancing and made them go on the dance floor with you. You gave it your all, dancing with anyone who was willing to get close to you. And you had such a fun time, being carefree and wild for just one night until you bumped into someone you knew while looking for your next dance partner. "Billy?", you yelled over the loud music. He looked at you, trying to match your face with someone you knew, and he remembered eventually. "(Y/N)!", he said with a grin. "Nice seeing you here!" Billy was clearly intoxicated, and completely different than from who you saw at the daycare. Well, teachers have a private life so you shouldn't be too surprised. But you did end up being surprised when he put an arm around your shoulder and led you to the bar. "Let me buy you a drink, pretty thing.", he said with a flirtatious smirk. You blushed at his words, wondering how one 10-minute impression could get him to talk like that. "S-sure.", you replied, a bit flustered. Billy bought you a Rum-Cola with another shot of Tequila. Your already-buzzed brain did the math and concluded that you'd be piss-drunk in about an hour. "You know, you have to look each other in the eyes when you toast.", he said to you while taking the shot in his hands. "Why?", you asked him. "Because if you don't, you'll have bad sex for the next 7 years." His statement surprised you so much that you couldn't even look away from his eyes, so he took his opportunity to toast with a wink. Oh, so that's the road he chose?

Did you end up back at his apartment? Absolutely. Both of you got drunk as shit and slept together. But you did leave his place when you woke up at 2am and realized what you've done. One check on your Nokia 3110 showed you that you've abandoned your friends at the club with no warning; you had 7 missed calls from them and 3 missed calls from Jenny. "Shit.", you mumbled under your breath as you wriggled out of Billy's arms that were wrapped around your waist. Quickly, you got dressed, called a Taxi and drove back to your apartment. Once you entered, you saw dim light in the living room and stumbled inside, still slightly intoxicated, to find Jenny on the couch. She was trying to keep herself occupied, but you could see her nervousness because she chewed on the nail of her index finger. "Jenny.", you whispered while clumsily taking your shoes off. "Jesus Christ (Y/N)", she whispered back while getting up from the couch. "You've had me worried sick, where were you?". Oh shit. Now you'll have to tell her. "I was...uhm...at a guys house.", you stuttered, still whispering. "Seriously? What, isn't that good? When have you last done that?" She had a wide smile on her face, the initial anxiety and anger washed away in an instant. "Not really.", you whispered in an anxious tone. "It was...it was William, Ari's teacher." Jennys eyes went wide in shock. "He was at the club, and we got drunk so..." She didn't say anything for a while. "Well, you sleep it off and we'll talk about it tomorrow, yeah?" That wasn't really what you were looking fir as an answer. "I'm not angry. I'm just surprised." Now that actually calmed you, but you understood that she needed to cope with what you told her just now.The two of you went to bed, and you didn't wake up until 1pm. The apartment was empty by then, and as soon as you woke up you had to make a bee-line to the bathroom to throw up. Your guts hurt like a bitch, your throat burnined and your head was pounding. Jenny, being the sweet soul that she is, already put out ibuprofen and a glass of water on the small table you had in the bathroom. You were so lucky to have her. In hopes of relief, you took the ibuprofen and went back to bed. Your phone woke you up two hours later with Jenny calling. "What's up?", you grumbled into the speaker. "Good morning.", she said in a cheerful voice. "I have to work overtime today, can you pick up Ari?" A cold shiver ran down your spine. "With Billy there? I doubt it.", you replied in a hoarse voice. Why did your throat hurt so bad? There must have been more than just throwing up...oh. "He went partying yesterday, I doubt he'll wanna work while hungover. He wasn't in this morning, so he most likely has a day off." Jenny was right, and you knew it. "Fine, I'll be the lesbian adoptive mom.", you replied while getting out of bed. "Thank you honey, love you.", Jenny said before handing up. Slowly, you got dressed, put on sunglasses and started driving to Aris daycare. Your brain fully convinced you that Billy wouldn't be there, because who in the world would be such a jackass, so you took it easy as you walked in. Well, both you and Jenny were horribly wrong. Ari was standing behind Billy, who sat on a tiny chair, while putting bows and clips in his mullet. Both were all alone in the room, all kids being picked uo already and the other two teachers outside cleaning up. Did Billy look pleased? Not really, but he didn't look hungover either. Your goddaughter saw you as soon as you closed the door behind. "(Y/N)!", she cheered as she took you by the hand to lead you to Billy. "Pwetty.", she added with a proud smile. "Oh yes, Ari, you made Billy really pretty.", you agreed and undermined your statement with a nod. She then pointed at you with a questioning look. "You can do my hair at home, yeah?" She smiled and nodded in agreement before you picked her up and carried her back to the door. "Can you say bye bye?", you asked Ari. She waved her tiny hand at Billy with a grin on her face. "See you tomorrow, Ari.", Billy said with a wave back.

Weeks passed, you haven't picked up Ari in since the first incident. Once you told Jenny, she started asking Aris godfather to do pickups. Her baby daddy was a no-good leech, and her parents didn't support her so it was just you, Jenny and the godfather. And you thought that it was ideal, but that ideal was broken by a tiny plastic stick with two blue lines on it. "Fuck...", you mumbled. It was all you could say. Jenny was at home, taking a quick shower before wanting to pick up Ari from daycare. "What does it say?", she asked you while peaking out of the shower. "I'm pregnant...", you mumbled. It felt so real now that you've said it. "And you're sure it's Billy's?", she continued. "I haven't had sex with anyone else in the past six months.", you told her while pulling your legs into a criss-cross position. The two of you were having a deja-vu, as this was the exact same way Jenny found out she was gonna have Ari. Just with a different father. "So, I'll give him your number when I pick up Ari and we'll go from there. At least he has a stable job.", Jenny said while washing out her conditioner. "You're way too calm, Jen.", you said. "I just told you I'm pregnant, you're taking this easy." You could hear her chuckle. "Well, if he's a dick as well we'll just be a four-people household."

But Billy did call you and asked to talk with you face-to-face. While Jenny didn't tell him what exactly happened, she did tell him that it was important. Billy already had his suspicions at those words, but he didn't know how to feel about them. His mind was reeling as he drove over to your place to pick you up, and you were waiting on the sidewalk with the test in hand. He parked at the nearest parking spot and waited for you to enter. Once you sat down next to him, you silently handed him the test. "Well, fuck.", he mumbled as he looked at the two blue lines.

"Yeah, that's kinda how that happened."

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine

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reikurusu · 1 day

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OMG GURL GO LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB 😩 sheesh your work sounds a lot. and boss looking for you on a Sunday too?? 🚩🚩🚩

Aww Chromie, that's so sweet of you to send!! <3 T_T

The thing is, I actually really like my job! It's just been stressful lately.

We've had a colleague who's been out for 8 months because of burnout, so it was just me working full-time, a colleague who works part-time and a third colleague who works 4/5 but who's close to retirement so she... doesn't really do anything. Like, the bare minimum and even that's a lot to ask. Like, literally shopping online and booking trips the entire time she's there and it doesn't matter at all if anyone says something about it (and she's not the friendliest person around tbh) -_-

So because of that one colleague's absence, I technically had to work 6 out of 7 days to cover the opening hours of the library I work at (the almost-retiree covering most of the other hours, pretty much the only thing she's good for) + I had to cover the absent colleague's workload because my part-time colleague took on the head of dept tasks and didn't have time to take on even more because she works somewhere else as well. So it's been a lot. But luckily there were days I could leave early or take a day off (my overtime was just building up the entire time). So it sucked and it was tiring but all in all it wasn't too bad. I was alone at the office a lot of the time, so I could manage all of my work without distractions.

But since July, we have a new head librarian and he's... let's call it enthusiastic. In August, the colleague who was absent started again, but part-time for now. So we're almost fully staffed.

The thing is... Our head of dept wants to organize a lot of things. Because we were severely understaffed, we didn't organize any activities for almost a year, which he wants to change. So he organised author readings, wants new things in our collection, wants all classes of the elementary schools in the neighbourhood to be able to visit,... And he all wants it immediately.

He also started right when the part-time colleague had two weeks off, so I had to train him after only being there for like a year and half myself + having spent a large part of that time alone at the office. And I hate training people! So that wasn't fun. And during the times he is/was alone during opening hours and I'm not there (like during the weekend or something) and he has a question, I told him to call me so that I could help, but jfc dude you've been there for like 3 months already! Figure it out and don't call me on my only day off??

My one part-time colleague does a lot, but because she works part-time, she can only do so much. So our new librarian gives her extra work but realizes she can't do it all.

The almost-retiree doesn't get any extra work because she just doesn't care and wouldn't do it anyway (she's been there for 30 years!! She hates the job, literally calls people who read nerds(???), hardly does anything but apparently they can't fire her?? Fcking government jobs and their idiotic rules. I bet she's buddy buddy with the mayor).

And because the colleague who had burnout only works part-time and can't be given too much work because 'what if she can't handle it' or 'isn't healed enough to deal with a big workload', our head librarian has been giving me a lot of extra work because I'm the only other full-time person there.

I have my own work (adult non-fiction books), + still part of workload of the colleague who was absent for months (I have to order dvds, games and comics (+ maybe manga in the near future which is actually cool)) as well as covering shifts during opening hours and what not.

I like having a lot of work, so I always have something to do. But it sucks when someone constantly gives you extra stuff to do on top of your regular work, while not or hardly doing that to the other people there, and then has the audacity to send an e-mail telling you which things you have to prioritize, as well as the order in which to prioritize them. That's just insane to me?? Especially since I have my own to-do list and I know what I have to do and what's more important than other things. I just don't like someone looking over my shoulder like that.

I'm focused more the tasks he's been giving me than my own work! I have a delivery of books and comics that I have to put into the system that's been standing there for over a month because I just don't have the time to do it. I have to go through the old books and see which ones I should write off for our book sale in a month, but I just don't manage to get to it due to all the other stuff I have to do (and I have two weeks off in a week so I just can't do it).

On top of that, I also have to apply for my job! I'm working on a temporary contract right now and they want to keep me on a contract of indefinite duration, but because it's a government job, I have to apply for it and go through the whole process again!! And other people can apply for it as well, so there is a chance someone better comes out of it. So I have some low-key stress for that because I don't want to have to find a new job right now.

And I haven't even mentioned friends who constantly want to meet up and do things like I have nothing else to do on my days off

I hate being a people pleaser. I just can't say no or tell people that it's a lot because I feel like it's expected of me. Which really sucks. I should enter my villain era or something but I'm too much of a goody two shoes to do that aarrrhhhhh!!

Sorry this got so long... I feel like I needed to vent a bit xD Thank you so much for looking out for me, Chromie! It means a lot!! <3 x

#This is the most I've written in ages #If only I could put this energy in actually writing any of my fics lol #BUT CHROMIE‚ YOU'RE SO SWEET!! THANK YOU!!! T_T

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sunmontuewrites · 2 months

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THURSDAY! I did have a completely free weekend, however we are going out as a family for dinner on Saturday and then I am going out on Sunday for lunch for work to smooze with a civil engineering lecturer (this is interesting for reasons I will detail below).

We have a very flat structure in the school of engineering. As in, the Dean of Engineering, who is the BOSS, is approachable and listens and is WONDERFUL. I have MANY examples of why he is great but here are a few:

He insists on still being involved in teaching - he's passionate about it and he's GOOD at it. He genuinely cares about the success of his students and takes time out of his personal life to help them out (i.e. staying in the labs with design groups after hours to help them finish a project). It is rare for someone so high up to still want to teach - he says it's integral to his understanding of the primary function of the school.

He cares about the mental well-being of his staff. I have expressed concerns to him of my own (anxiety over the new fleet vehicles, among other things) and he'll ASK whether I want to hear his possible tips of solutions, or whether I just want him to listen. We have also discussed ways in which to improve the culture and support for staff and he throws his support behind initiatives I come to the table with.

His dog is named Pixie and he brings her into the office pretty regularly. He runs a Quiz night twice a year for staff and students (and his wife comes along to help him).

He asks how you are, and he genuinely WANTS to know the answer, will remember something you said last time and ask a follow up question. He also calls my manager (the School Manager) the boss, and she is a Maori woman

Now - keep in mind that this is a white guy from England who recently turned 60. His two kids are in their late 20s and his daughter got married in April to a gender-fluid person who uses they/them and he talks about it and how it took him a while to get his head around it but he's used to it now.

MAIN POINT - He doesn't hold himself above anyone else.

So, when interviewing for potential new academic staff, they've kind of realized that they want to employ people who will be okay with this type of culture. That they will be okay with students calling them by their first name. That it doesn't matter if they get taken out to lunch by the admin team or the Dean - we are all one team working together.

So yeah - this is also the guy that has said I can 100% go to Canada for three months and work over there a couple of days a week while also travelling from the west to east coast.

So when people ask if I like me "new" job I have to tell them I love it...

Work emails under 40, 35, 30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5

Morning routine / evening routine

Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Morning coffee

Moisturise

Space audit info into spreadsheet

Social activities planned + emailed

Tidy away 100+ files

Write 1k

Staff meeting minutes

Physio appointment

Pick up things from PBTech

Ted Lasso rewatch with besties

Check contract in Te Hononga

Weekend list

Schedule "What to Write weekend" post

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addictedtostorytelling · 7 months

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hi aj! hope you're doing well ❤ i always love your theories and interpretations and i was thinking... what do you think grissom and sara's story would have been like if grissom had not stayed her supervisor, back in season 1? like if sara had indeed come to vegas but he did not remain her superior at work. do you think he'd have acted on his feelings sooner than he did in canon? thanks ❤

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you enjoy my work. i hope you're doing well, too. ❤

re: your question:

so, to me, the fact that grissom and sara do eventually have a romantic relationship for two+ years while he is still very much actively her supervisor suggests deference to that particular rule is never really a main issue in keeping them apart in the beginning.

grissom's behavior during s5/s6/s7 insinuates: had he otherwise felt ready to date sara during the first four and a half years she lived in vegas, he likely would have done so (albeit perhaps in secret), department policy be damned.

grissom might list the "but i can't! i'm her boss!" excuse when he is attempting to rationalize to himself why he shouldn't act on his feelings for sara, but at the end of the day, that's all that it is—an excuse.

when he finally works through his real hang-ups that are preventing him from having that relationship, he no longer allows his employment status to hold him back at all.

he dates the fuck out of that girl while he is still giving her annual performance reviews and signing off on her overtime requests, and, honestly? he seems relatively unfussed about doing so.

he is not so much of a rule-follower as to lose sleep over flaunting department policy.

that so, i don't think it's necessarily a given that removing that specific impediment to their relationship would get grissom and sara together any faster than is the case in canon, not unless he also simultaneously were to overcome the real obstacle that is holding him back from giving in to his heart anyhow—namely, his fear of rejection.

see, for as much as grissom points to the department policy forbidding romantic relationships between members of the same forensics team as the or at least a main reason why he shouldn't romantically pursue sara, in reality the thing that really holds him back from jumping in with both feet with her is his deep-seated fear that her love for him is conditional/impermanent.

he fears that despite sara wanting him now, she may not always in the future continue to want him—and especially not once she "draws back the curtain" and gets a full view of him, including his (what he views as) egregious personal flaws.

before sara moves to vegas, her view of grissom is an incredibly limited one, and he is highly aware of this fact. she only gets to see/interact with him in person at conferences and over long weekends, and their communication outside of those brief intervals is otherwise relegated to phone calls, emails, and letters; insulated, as it were, by distance and time.

with 500+ miles between them 99% of the year, she doesn't possess the kind of up-close vantage of him that might allow her to otherwise recognize his (as he opines) numerous failing points and deficiencies of character; she only has access to an idealized version of him—“conference grissom,” who has only to refrain from making a fool of himself in her presence for just a few hours or days at a time before he can retreat back to his safe and secluded everyday life (without her) across state lines and regroup before their next fleeting encounter.

for as long as grissom only interacts with sara on such a limited basis, he is fairly confident in his ability to keep her interest. after all, it's easy to put his best foot forward for such modest periods of time, and particularly when he is "in his element" attending conferences or breezing in for short, romantic visits.

however, once grissom—somewhat impulsively—invites sara to move to his city and join his forensics team, he no longer has that barrier of distance to shield him.

now sara is living and working every night in close proximity to him, and suddenly he has to be "on" in her presence all the time.

she's seeing him not only bathed in the limelight of conference stages but under the dingy, unflattering fluorescents of their shared place of work, oftentimes in fraught and stressful situations.

even far more socially-adept persons than he would have a hard time consistently impressing under such high-stakes circumstances, so considering his (in his view) numerous deficits where the interpersonal element is concerned, he can't help but worry that sooner or later, he is going to do something to slip up and shatter her illusions of him as this charming, romantic, mature man-about-town, instead showing himself to her for what he really is—a misanthropic, socially-awkward old fogey who has never been in a long-term romantic/sexual relationship in his life.

of course, for as fearful as he is that once she sees the "real him," her attraction to him will evaporate, he can't (because he is still ultimately in love with her) 100% keep himself from getting close to her all the same, which is why, even once she begins working for him, he still flirts with her and shows his attraction to her and even occasionally makes her backwards declarations of love, all but in spite of himself, never mind that he ought to probably rein in that kind of behavior if he wants to keep things strictly platonic between them.

however, for as much as he does blur the lines, he does still try to split the difference by keeping their interactions relegated to the workplace.

he won't allow himself to "cross the threshold" and take her home with him—not when he supposes that if he were to do so, she would finally see everything he is trying to keep hidden from her.

even with her "just" being his subordinate and working with him every night, she is still observing more of him than he truly feels comfortable with, but at least there are some boundaries/parameters; at least most of what she's observing is located within the realm of the professional.

if he were, however, to have a relationship with her outside of work, then those last barriers would be gone, and she would have access to everything—and the idea that she would terrifies him.

his great nightmare is that if he were to choose to throw caution to the wind, break those departmental rules, and commence a romantic relationship with sara, sacrificing his career and professional reputation and familiar lifestyle in order to do so, the center would not hold.

she might stay with him for a few weeks or months or even years if he were lucky, but in his opinion, it is inevitable that someday—once she realized what she had really gotten herself into with him—she would leave him.

and then he would ultimately end up with nothing—neither the career he sacrificed for the girl nor the girl herself.

he assumes he is so unworthy of sara—too old for her, too misanthropic, too "dark inside," too inexperienced in love/sex, too insufficiently human, etc.—that there is no way she would want to remain with him forever.

she would put up with him for a while, until she got wise to just how many failing points he has, and then she would book.

and he knows he wouldn't be able to cope when she did.

losing her once he has had her would absolutely break him.

so that's the actual major reason™ why he holds back from being with her for so long—because he figures it's somehow easier never to have her than to have her only to subsequently lose her.

he's preempting what he views as the inevitable rejection by not putting himself into a position to be rejected by her in the first place.

can't reject what you don't have, right?

now.

the way i see things, grissom only gets to the point where he is ready to be with sara once he finally conquers his fear of rejection and a) realizes that sara's love for him is in fact unconditional, all of his flaws notwithstanding, and, b) comes to understand that his care for her well-being outweighs any fears or trepidations he had regarding his own.

in canon, he reaches those particular watermarks only after the gsr emotional roller coaster that is their s3/s4 arc, circa the events of episodes 05x12 "snakes"—when sara confirms to him (in so many words) that despite all of his missteps with her over the years, she does still love him and want to be with him—and 05x13 "nesting dolls"—when he is finally posed with the choice that for four and a half years he has been avoiding, namely to play things safe and prioritize his career over sara yet again or to put it all on the line her, and he at last chooses the latter option.

getting back to your original question, then: would grissom not being sara's boss cause him to get together with her any sooner?

not necessarily.

not just by itself, per se.

but let's say him not being her boss leads him into circumstances where he arrives at those emotional conclusions sooner than he does in canon.

well, then the answer to your question might be yes.

so with all of the above in mind, i've got an example of a scenario where i think grissom not being sara's boss might result in him getting together with sara sooner due to the way it would influence the events of the canon timeline.

conjecture after the "keep reading," if you're interested.

okay.

so this scenario is just one of multiple possible scenarios that could work to give non-supervisor grissom that emotional push he would need to pursue a relationship with sara early on.

it hinges on how grissom not being promoted to night shift supervisor in episode 01x01 "pilot" might affect the course of events in the episodes immediately subsequent.

now.

i of course understand, from a storytelling perspective, why the events of the first three episodes of csi transpire in the way that they do.

from a narrative perspective, the writers very much wanted to start the show with an earthshaking event—with the team dynamics being reshuffled and grissom (the main character) getting thrust into a leadership role he doesn't either want or feel prepared for; with everyone experiencing "growing pains" as they adjust to a new normal.

that's fertile ground for storytelling. there's lots of narrative tension in a situation like that one and many opportunities for character development to be had.

that said, there are some parts of those initial three episodes that are not particularly believable just from a "that's not what would probably happen in real life" standpoint, namely:

in real life, brass most likely would not lose his supervisory position at csi and be reassigned to homicide without there being any kind of departmental investigation into his conduct and leadership surrounding the events of the shooting (and especially not before holly gribbs had even actually died).

in real life, grissom, who had never actually expressed interest in a supervisory position, much less applied for one, most likely would not have been automatically and permanently promoted to the role of night shift supervisor following brass's demotion, and especially not without the department running any kind of official hiring search (even just nominally) beforehand.

in real life, there would have almost certainly been an internal affairs investigation into the entire debacle, with focus placed on both brass's and warrick's conducts.

in real life, it most likely would not have been grissom's sole purview to investigate warrick's conduct (or to bring in sara to do so as his proxy).

in real life, it most likely would not have been grissom's sole purview to decide, once said investigation were concluded, if warrick kept his job or not—and particularly not in light of the fact that in sara's official report on warrick's conduct, she does find him negligent.

in real life, most likely, warrick would either have lost his job or, at the very least, been served a lengthy suspension and faced with other (not insubstantial) disciplinary action.

in real life, while it is not completely impossible that grissom could fully hire sara in less than two weeks' time*, it is still somewhat of a stretch to imagine that he could; more likely, it would take him somewhat longer to complete that process (and get all of her background checks, drug testing, fingerprinting, onboarding paperwork, firearms and lab safety proficiency certifications, departmental training modules, tax forms, etc. completed).

in real life, again, while not completely impossible, it is still somewhat unrealistic that sara quits her job at the sfpd and moves across state lines to start her new job with the lvpd all within less than two weeks.

* the events of episode 01x02 "cool change" take place on approximately 10.16.00 within the universe of the show, while the events of episode 01x03 "crate n' burial" take place on approximately 10.29.00 within the universe of the show.

show canon compresses/truncates/fudges all of those processes for the sake of moving the story along and also allows grissom a lot more power to make unilateral administrative decisions regarding his team than in real life he would be likely to have, working at one of the biggest, most prestigious, most bureaucratic state crime labs in the country.

so looping back around to our au, let's imagine a scenario where things happen in a somewhat more "true to life" way than they do in actual show canon.

let's say that instead of being immediately reassigned to homicide in the wake of the gribbs shooting, brass is instead placed on administrative leave pending an investigation into his conduct and leadership.

meanwhile, grissom is made acting pro tempore shift supervisor in his stead.

internal affairs immediately launches its own investigation into the circumstances of the shooting, with focus placed both on brass's and warrick's conducts and potential culpability.

warrick is also placed on administrative leave pending investigation.

grissom, in his pro tempore role, does not have the authority to launch any kind of official investigation into the circumstances surrounding the shooting. however, knowing warrick as he does, he already has a hunch about what might have happened. realizing that the internal affairs investigation will move "at the slow speed of government," he decides to get out ahead of it and find out for himself what happened. he therefore brings on sara as a consultant, having her examine warrick's conduct on his behalf in a more unofficial capacity.

essentially, what he wants her to find out for him is how likely it is that once everything is said and done warrick will lose his job.

as is the case in canon, grissom also reaches out to sara on a more subconscious level because she is the one thing during this otherwise very turbulent, distressing time that makes him feel at all safe, and he wants to keep her close, like a human security blanket.

sara conducts her investigation and quickly determines, as is the case in canon, that warrick abandoned holly gribbs at her crime scene in order to go place an off-site sports bet. she submits her report to grissom, giving him the heads up that if ia's findings are similar to hers, then there's a good chance warrick will not emerge from the situation professionally unscathed.

she then returns to san francisco.

but.

since she is now personally involved in the case and has seen up-close how it is affecting grissom, even once she leaves las vegas, she and grissom remain in almost constant contact, talking on the phone for hours after every shift, with him updating her on the latest developments and her emotionally supporting him through what is still a very difficult time, while he is temporarily in charge of what is now a severely understaffed and emotionally compromised forensics team.

if you think catherine and nick are taking all of these developments in stride, they are very much not™.

though his typical mo is to play things close to the chest, during this period of extreme upset, grissom almost can't help himself but to open up to sara. on their calls, he finds himself word-vomiting revealing very intimate things to her and allowing himself to be candid and vulnerable in ways that normally he might never be. he expresses his frustrations with the department's handling of the case to her—don't they realize that by suspending warrick, they've now made it so the team is technically down two criminalists instead of just one?—and his regrets concerning gribbs's demise. he starts to really rely on sara and unveil himself to her, including his doubts and trepidations regarding himself as a leader, especially in such emotionally fraught circumstances as these.

letting her "see him" in all of this emotional nakedness is terrifying to him at first, but what he is pleasantly surprised to find is not only does she not judge him for expressing what he views as his own weaknesses but she also has this uncanny ability to build him up and know just what to say to validate and encourage him. the advice she offers is patient and sound, and her perspectives are simultaneously logical and compassionate. she always seems to know just what to say and just how to help him, even from afar.

he had already felt very close to her from the first time they met, but now it's like they've unlocked this new level of intimacy.

their conversations branch out from just the gribbs situation into other areas of their lives. sara even starts to disclose things to grissom about herself that he had never known before.

not her whole life story but hints of it, more than she had let on in the past, certainly.

eventually, grissom starts to get the idea that maybe sara is just as lonely as he is, and, especially considering how much she has done for him recently, he finds he wants nothing more than to find a way to cure that loneliness for her and truly make her happy, becoming fixated on the notion.

we could maybe even throw in a "sara's having troubles in san francisco and is no longer loving her job at the sfpd" subplot to up the ante here, if we wanted.

as the days wear on, grissom longs to have sara physically near to him always.

for the first time, living 500+ miles away from her really begins to smart.

maybe at some point when grissom is at his lowest during the course of the investigation, sara hops a flight and shows up in vegas during a rare two day-off period for her, without him even asking. her anticipation of his needs and the fact that she is just there for him (at a time when he is not feeling great about himself) means more to him than he could possibly say.

they end up sleeping together (which is something they may or may not have done previously, depending on one's pre-vegas headcanons for them) and eventually one or the other of them drops the l-word and the other one immediately and wholeheartedly says it back.

it all but breaks both of their hearts when at the end of 48 hours, sara has to fly back to the bay.

finally, after several weeks of investigation, the internal affairs team clears brass of any wrongdoing surrounding the shooting, as it becomes evident that warrick essentially "went rogue" and contradicted brass's direct orders for him to supervise holly gribbs.

brass is summarily reinstated as csi night shift supervisor, at which point grissom resumes his role as csi night shift assistant supervisor.

as sara predicted, ia does ultimately find warrick negligent in his conduct surrounding the shooting.

and who knows? maybe if they took their time and did their due diligence, they might also uncover the fact that judge cohen was blackmailing him.

and honestly? if we're going for total realism here, i think warrick would almost certainly lose his job.

however, given that we like warrick and don't want him off the team, let's say that rather than being fired he instead is served with a lengthy suspension, barred from his impending promotion to csi level iii, subjected to various disciplinary actions, and required to attend 90+ gamblers anonymous meetings and some number of peap counseling sessions prior to reinstatement, at which point he will still be on probation.

so all said and done, the team is still down two junior criminalists, though they are probably only allowed to hire for one position (given that warrick is technically still employed at the lab, albeit serving a protracted suspension).

while of course they want to hire a replacement for holly gribbs as quickly as possible, they are still a government agency and can't cut corners in the process, so they open up an actual hiring search.

grissom and sara discuss the possibility of her applying for the job.

however, since they by now both fully consider themselves to be "in a romantic relationship" (and have every intention to move in together should sara indeed transfer to vegas), they're uncertain what to do regarding the department policy forbidding romantic/sexual relationships between members of the same forensics team.

maybe at this point grissom talks to catherine and/or brass about the issue and they help him to come up with a workaround much like the one ecklie suggests to grissom in canon in episode 08x02 "a la cart," where to keep the whole spouse/partner hire thing kosher, they can set up some very specific rules to prevent grissom and sara from "unduly influencing" each other while working on the same forensics team.

maybe grissom ends up stepping down even from his assistant supervisory position, ceding it to catherine (as he has never really cared about having administrative power anyway).

maybe the new protocol is that grissom and sara are not allowed to work cases together unless there is another csi level iii overseeing them and running point on the investigation.

maybe they'll be subject to random case reviews by internal affairs.

maybe they both have to meet with hr and fill out lengthy disclosure forms at the start of every fiscal year.

in any case, let's say they find a way to make it work.

so sara applies and gets the job and moves to vegas with grissom. somewhere along the way, she would still have to tell him fully about her past—which would, of course, be a whole thing™ unto itself—and there might still be a few hiccups as they learned how to blend their lives together and communicate their feelings in the interim.

that said, i think if things happened this way, it would serve much the same effect as the events of episodes 05x12 "snakes" and 05x13 "nesting dolls" do in canon, just on an accelerated timescale and without grissom being sara's boss: namely, grissom would learn that sara loved him unconditionally, and he would also start to prioritize making her happy (and find that doing so made him happy in the process). he would make any and all necessary changes to have her be part of his life.

now.

how things might go with brass and catherine being in charge of the shift and grissom and sara having an "out" romantic relationship from the get-go as early as 2000, i can't say. certainly, the whole trajectory of the show would change, but it's unclear in what specific ways that it would or what the ultimate outcomes of these major changes to the team's composition might be.

as mentioned above, of course, there are potentially other scenarios than this one that we could imagine where grissom not being sara's boss might result in them getting together as a couple sooner; still, i think, for the most part, however said scenarios were constructed otherwise, they would almost universally have to involve similar emotional beats, where grissom learned to both trust in sara's love for him and choose his love for her over his fear of potential rejection.

i also think that it would, for the most part, be less the case that grissom not being sara's boss was the thing that cleared the way for their relationship in itself and rather that him not being her boss would alter the way certain events played out from how they do in canon, such that grissom and sara ended up on a different emotional learning curve than the one they have in canon altogether.

it wouldn't be a deal where grissom would go, "yay! i'm not your boss! let's date!" (because that obstacle was never the only one holding him back from being with her anyway). instead, the real change-maker would be how events transpired differently in the au based on the fact of this major detail being altered.

anyway.

those are my thoughts!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: csi #meta: grissom #hypothetical scenario #let's talk shop #csiverse

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kickthecan-revolution · 2 years

Text

It's 11:11pm

I had the strangest dreams last night after I wrote all of that about the tennis part of my life. I can’t remember them but they were a combination of nurturing and terrifying. It occurred to me this morning that Rick didn't peek at the girls through a window, he actually drilled a hole in the shower. It’s odd that I don’t feel a thing about that - he’d definitely touch us a lot correcting position but I never felt weirded out by it at all. Though....would I have felt that way anyway? I don’t recall my dad ever hugging me as a kid, would I have known if something weird was up? I do know I wasn’t abused sexually by him though.

My call was great - I memorize the crap out of my notes and then use them, but barely. The facilitator in me knows how to be natural. It was 500 people and they asked great questions I was able to answer - I’m glad I did it, even though I was so incredibly stressed all weekend about it. Also happy my boss wasn't here, she would have changed the slides and blah blah got into my head.

Her boss asked for an updated version of an annual strategic plan I’ve not updated in several months - I started working on it about 6pm, just looked up and it’s 11pm (11:11 to be exact). BUT, it’s great - comprehensive and I ended up changing the formatting because it was bugging me and that took an extra few hours. He's in Europe so hopefully he has what he needs.

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pinnithin · 2 years

Text

work got me down as usual so i gotta ramble

a master sergeant who works in my flight apologized to me yesterday for something i didnt even take offense to. long story but its annual award season so a lot of our time right now is spent workshopping the award packages from our squadron so they'll be competitive at the wing level. and this guy wrote one for an airman who'd done really well this year, but due to a misunderstanding it looked like he'd plagiarized the previous year's, and we discovered this in the middle of the meeting in front of the other flights and it just kinda made us look dickish.

anyway, i didn't really care, because i didnt do it. felt bad for the airman but she'd earned a pretty significant early promotion like a week prior so it was probably fine if the award got tossed (it didnt - they let us rework and resubmit it). but in the end nobody died, nobody got hurt, whatever. it wasted like 3 hours of everyone's time but we're salaried so its not that big of a deal. the master sergeant in question was not present at this meeting to defend himself, but my superintendent called him to give him a piece of his mind because he made us look like assholes in front of the other flights. i didnt get into it because i didnt really care.

this week rolls around, the guy catches me to apologize and explain that it was a mistake and he thought he was copying valid bullets from past awards (common practice - theres only so many ways you can explain that a guy inventoried a warehouse real good). he told me he felt like shit all weekend because of it and he dreaded coming to work this week after "putting us through that" in front of the squadron. and i was like, man. thats a really small silly thing to feel like shit over.

and i was all "man its okay, they let us resubmit it, mistakes happen, nobody got hurt etc etc" and he was like no but you still had to defend your reputations in front of the other flights and my mistake put you in that situation and i was like, really? thats what youre upset about? MY reputation? you realize i dont care what any of these people think about me, right? and i didn't even make the mistake - that was you! and if people think im a jackass because one of my guys made a mistake that was easily fixable then thats their problem. there are way more important things to worry about.

he looked relieved and then got really quiet and was like, how are you like that?

like what?

how do you just let this stuff go all the time? i beat myself up all weekend over this and youre just... fine about it?

this isn't the first time someones asked me this, albeit more casually like "youre so chill LT i wish i was as chill as you" yknow but he seemed like genuinely concerned and i had to pause for a second before being like. therapy? its therapy. im like this because im in therapy.

i mean its also the constant exhaustion and being jaded and desensitized to this hellish war machine, but i can cope a hell of a lot better with it. i have to actively work at it to maintain a healthy mindset or ill go berserk. this is not my natural state i had to build this.

this guy is ten years older than me, has been in the air force for, i wanna say 13 years? crippled with anxiety and guilt over, what, embarrassing (not really) his boss? i just felt so fucking bad for him.

and theres so many people here who are like him, who hold themselves to these impossible standards because of the weird mind games this brutal industry puts everyone through. i have met more people with work induced neuroses in the three years here than ive ever seen anywhere else in my life, and im sure i have a collection of my own that im blind to as well. this job is merciless and will grind you into dust with no remorse if it means making the jets fly faster.

like, duh, its the military, what did you expect. obviously working for the business that kills people will mess you up. but it still sucks, right? ive met really good people here who have been irreparably damaged in their service and they wont even get help because theyre too afraid to damage their career in the job that hurt them in the first place. it sucks. it sucks to see.

not just people who've been here a long time, literally everyone i know here deals with some kind of trauma (mild though it may be for some of the newer kids, youre still getting shipped away from your family and everything you know for a job you might not even like, in a cruel profession, and thatll upset anyone just a little at least). i know people who've been here 3 months who are like this is the lowest ive ever felt. i know people who are 3 months from retirement who are like i put my life into this job and all it did was chew me up and spit me out.

once again. military. it should be obvious. i can still be sad about it though i think. maybe nobody whos a good person voluntarily joins the military, so maybe we all kind of deserve it, but i think we're still allowed to be kind of upset about it.

i have one year left. i have complicated feelings about it. ive also been irreparably damaged here, but at the same time im at the point where i really like the person i am and i would not be that person without having to go through the fucking pits of hell in this shitty ass job. i know part of it is because of my own efforts to unfuck myself after i got horribly fucked over and had a nervous breakdown in mid 2021, but now i kind of have that point of reference to ground me? like anything i do from now on has never been as hard as that part of my life was. and i dont think i would have taken therapy and recovery as seriously if i wasn't dealing with ptsd. so i dunno.

im not sure where im going with this its just like. fuck this place. fuck this fucking job. i only care about the people ive met here and i feel like im abandoning them by getting out next year, but if i stay inside a burning house i'll die too yknow

#this is so long and uninteresting dont feel compelled to read #i just had to process something #pin talks #views and opinions expressed on this blog dont reflect those of the us air force blah etc etc

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killeroos · 1 month

Note

Max, grinning ear to ear, pronounces his whole agreement to the "best and loveliest idea." Looking at Virat, he asks, "Did you know Nick is an engineer?"

***

happy to continue this! 🩷

well, once vk realizes glenn won't let him escape so easily, he decides he needs back-up. he excuses himself to use the loo, where he barricades himself inside, just in case glenn decides to follow him inside to berate him. first, he fires off a quick text to pat, acting like nick, saying "hey baby, im sorry but it'll take me some more time to reach, my boss gave me more work just as i was heading out. 😤" then vk texts his manager. "don't ask any questions, just call me after 10 minutes and tell me im supposed to be somewhere to shoot an ad immediately."

he hurries outside again, where within 10 minutes, he receives the manager's call.

"virat!" the manager thunders on the other line. "where the fuck are you? you were supposed to be at the studio half an hour ago to shoot that ad for ceat tyres!"

"wasn't that scheduled for tomorrow?" vk asks, doing a good impression of confusion.

"it was today!" the manager bellows. "get your ass here asap, everyone else is already here and waiting!"

"sorry, sorry, I'll be there, just give me fifteen minutes!" vk doesn't have to manufacture the sheepish tone, his manager can be really scary when he wants to. mumbling hasty apologies to everyone and shaking glenn's hand off his arm, he makes a wild dash for his car.

half an hour later, vk is back at the bar, this time dressed as nick.

"hello, love!" pat wraps an arm around his waist, leaning down to peck him on the cheek. vk blushes, melting into pats touch. "meet my friends."

pat introduces him to josh, greeny and maxi. vk as nick does a stellar job of playing the shy and starstruck fan, surrounded by his idols. he's certain pat doesn't suspect anything wrong.

"so nick," glenn's grin is more of a smirk and vk is immediately wary. "i hear you're a fan of virat?"

vk giggles nervously. "er, yeah, you could say that." as pat turns around to place their order, he glares daggers at glenn, silently telling him to drop it.

"you know, virat and i have been friends for ages. if you want an autograph or something, i can totally arrange it," glenn continues, winking. "what do you say pat, should i call virat and ask him to join us? his ad shoot must be over by now!"

"oh that won't be necessary--" vk/nick demurs politely, nearly dying inside, but pat cuts across him. "that's a brilliant idea! nick has always wanted to meet virat." then his nose wrinkles in distaste. "although i can't imagine why, the guy is a fucking jerk." pat misses the way vk/nick flinches at the statement.

"I'll call vk right now!" glenn's hand is hovering over the call button now. vk knows full well that it would be an embarrassing situation to explain if, when glenn called vk, it was "nick's" phone that went off in the middle of the bar.

"you don't have to!" he almost yells, panicked. "you don't have to trouble him, he's such a famous man, i doubt he'd have the time for me. i can get his autograph some other time!"

"like when you come to one of patty's matches?" josh speaks up, eyes twinkling.

glenn's grin is devious. pat lights up. vk gulps.

"that's such a great idea!" pat gushes. "nick, why don't you come to the india vs australia match this weekend? I'll get the tickets! and ill even get you virat's autograph, he'll be playing, so you can meet him too!"

"yeah, go ahead nick, we'll love to have you!" glenn sniggers.

vk blinks up at pat, a deer in headlights.

"you'll come to cheer for me, won't you nick?" pat is looking at him with eager anticipation, his eyes shining like crystals, full of hope. how was vk supposed to turn him down?

"alright. I'll be there," vk seals his own fate, swallowing, smiling faintly at pat. "I'll be there."

***

might come back to continue it 😃🤭

AAHHHHH amazing!!!! poor virat just keeps digging himself deeper and deeper 😭😅

#🩷🩷

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timeoverload · 3 months

Text

Today was another long day. I had a tough time waking up this morning because the tornado sirens woke me up not long after I had gone to bed. I didn't fall back asleep until almost 12:30 and I was so mad. I woke up later than I wanted to but I still made it to work on time.

I had to stay late even though I felt terrible. It was too busy for me to leave on time. I didn't leave until 6:30. I had 4 add-ons so I wasn't thrilled about that. I am not in a great mood and I have been trying not to be grumpy but it's so hard. I am just so unhappy. That place is like a vacuum and it sucks all of the joy out of me. I'm tired of all of the stupid drama. I try to avoid it but it's impossible.

I also got a verbal warning again for sick days so that's just wonderful. I was complaining to my boss about it and I told her that I have never had another job that would threaten to write me up if I called in sick too many times. It's bullshit and maybe if we had adequate staff, it wouldn't be an issue. They just don't want to hire more people. She doesn't like the policy either so it was nice of her to listen to me complain. I am just so fed up with it.

I am so fucking tired of that place. I hate it so much! I have stopped interacting with most of the people in my department. I will say hi but that's about it. I am too exhausted to try to socialize most of the time. The morning team lead drains my social battery within the first hour of the day so I'm tired of talking by the time anyone else shows up. I don't see the point anymore because I know that none of them really want to hang out with me. We don't have anything in common. I don't feel like I fit in and I never have.

The only person there that really goes out of their way to talk to me is the guy that has a crush on me. This is the same guy that sent me a bunch of weird selfies. He is driving me nuts. I have snapped at him a few times lately and he still hasn't seemed to take the hint. He asked me how I was doing at least 6 times today. He always tells me that my presence was missed whenever I have a day off or when I'm sick. It's a nice thing for someone to say but it makes me uncomfortable to hear him say that to me when he never says that to anyone else when they are gone. I didn't think much of it at the time, but he bought me a new badge reel a while back and I realized recently that he didn't get one for everyone else so that is odd. It was nice of him to do that for me but I don't need him to buy me things to try to get me to like him. I know he has been trying to get me to hang out with him because he frequently asks me what I am doing over the weekend. I usually have to make shit up to make him think that I'm busy. Earlier, I could feel eyes on me and I turned around to see him staring at me very intensely. I asked him what was wrong and he started stuttering so it got awkward really fast and I had to leave the room. He acts nervous around me a lot. He is constantly coming over to my station to ask me questions and I know that he already knows the answers to them. He pretends to be surprised every time even though I have explained things to him before. I can't take him seriously. His constant joking around is getting so old and it's annoying. I like to joke around but not all the time. He asks me weird questions a lot and I'm supposed to be ok with that because he does that to everyone. He asks everyone stuff like, "do you think my mom loves me?" because he thinks it's funny. Everyone is used to him saying weird shit so they think everything he says is a joke so I can't really talk to people about it. I don't think he is joking with me a lot of the time but he tries to cover it up. He makes a lot more innuendos when he's around me but he hasn't said anything bad enough for me to talk to HR about it. He makes flirty jokes towards me and then he says he's just kidding. He always says he's kidding about everything but that doesn't mean it's ok. I have heard him say, "I just miss her" many times when I was around and I ask him who he's talking about but he just laughs. A couple weeks ago he asked if I wanted to go cry in the bathroom together and that was fucking weird. He said it was a joke but I didn't think it was funny. He is overly helpful in a bad way. He is always asking to do things for me while I'm already in the middle of working on it. He has told me about his life plans and has shared details about the things he wants to do for his future wife like how he's going to provide for her so she doesn't have to work. It's like he is trying to be persuasive towards me or something because he knows that I have problems. He is very nosy about my health and it's none of his business. I don't like that and I try to avoid those conversations as much as possible now. I know his family won't let him move out of the house until he is married and so I think he is getting desperate. I don't share anything with him anymore because I don't want him to know any more about me. I don't want to give him the wrong idea. I am trying to stay away from him as much as I can. I just want him to go away. I wish I could tell him to fuck off.

I have been feeling like garbage most of the day. I thought that I would feel better after having an extra day off but I don't. I am so tired. I was having heart palpitations again and I'm trying to figure out why I have them more often at work than anywhere else. I don't know if it's because I'm moving too fast or getting too stressed out. I did have an energy drink this morning and I'm sure that was probably the main cause. I can't have those anymore and I'm sad about it. I also think I have an electrolyte imbalance right now even though I drink tons of water. It is probably from having too much acid built up in my body. I know that I am still not eating enough and I have a really hard time staying consistent. I thought that my appetite would increase if I started taking probiotics again but it hasn't yet. My doctor never called me about my blood work so I guess they aren't that concerned because everything else was normal. I am still worried about my kidneys even though my eGFR improved. I think that my palpitations could also be from oxygen deprivation because I spend 9-10 hours wearing a mask every day. I only take it off for breakfast and lunch or when eye cases are done for the day. I feel like I am suffocating sometimes. I hope that I'm going to be ok and that there is nothing wrong with my heart. I will do my best to keep moving.

I've also been pissed off about the state of the world today but I don't have the energy to go on a rant about it even though I want to. I'm sure that a lot of people don't want to be constantly reminded about how bleak things are anyway. It is overwhelming. I know I can't focus on it all the time because it is not good for my mental health but I do care a lot. I wish there was more I could do.

It is nice to be home now. I'm not going to think about anything stressful the rest of the night. I need to try to eat some more. I have been snacking because that's easier than eating a meal and I don't get it. It is better than nothing I suppose. I had a boost when I got home and I will probably have a second one in a little while because they help. I think I need to make it a habit to drink one when I wake up in the morning too.

Tomorrow should be an easier day and I only have one eye case. I think there are only 20 other surgeries so that's not bad. I am going to help the eye coordinator (not the mean one) do some reorganizing and modify some of the trays so they aren't as much of a hassle to wash and reprocess so that should be fun. I am just happy that I won't have to run around as much. I am planning on leaving at 4 or earlier since I stayed an hour late today. I don't think that anyone is going to argue with me about it. I am looking forward to having a long weekend.

I need to get ready for bed soon. I don't have much else to say at the moment. I'm going to try not to stay up too late tonight. I'm happy that it's not going to storm anymore so I don't have to worry about that waking me up again. Hopefully tomorrow is a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. Thanks for listening to me vent. :) 💖💖💖

#personal

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dawnowar · 3 months

Text

I don't know what happened

I was doing really good cross posting everything to tumblr manually and then I just lost it after the rosstheboss night at milwaukee for some reason im not sure of.

Since then i had a week of rest and and then i went back out to see Ross in The Dictators and had an awesome day where I got to spend some time with him and got to eat dinner with him and the man known as Athenar from Midnight who it turns out is a big fan of Ross' which makes so much perfect sense to me because you can hear it in the guitar solos which I'm told he writes.

I fangirled over the two of them discussing gear even tho i dont know shit about whateverthehell they were talking about because it was just so cool i was in this conversation at all.

Saw The Dictators play with friends and had an awesome time.

My Metal neighbor and friend Chuck died suddenly for no real reason that weekend. Wasnt sick or anything. Just had a seizure even though he had no history of such things and his heart stopped and after paramedics worked on him and took him to the ER, he was brain dead so his family decided to let him go.

Been checking on his wife and doing what i can to help. Mostly by idk talking a load of bullshit i guess because i never know what to say but i think it at least provides some distraction which is probably helpful at least here and there. She is the kind of person you can't keep down and I know she will survive this but I'm not sure there's anything much harder than that to survive.

All this happened in the same weekend. I've known Ross personally for 19 years now so i guess that makes us old friends. And we talked about everything and things and people and getting older and I told him to go to the doctor.

I called my other two oldest friends and did the same with them too.

Then I went back to work on Monday where no one even said good morning to me forget about how was your awesome weekend with The Dictators you've had planned for forever? Because they dont know who The Dictators are and they don't care. And they didnt have a good weekend because they are miserable people so they dont care if i had a good one or not.

In the morning i didnt know how to answer someones question and everyone was on the phone so I told the guy I'd call him back. When I asked I was told that was dumb because this was simple and didnt warrant a call back. I assured him i gave the simple answer but i didnt know more specfiics the customer was asking so this did warrant a call back.

Went to lunch and the dizzy saleslady talked to someone i was waiting on a call back from, and she didnt read my notes to find out what they wanted and didnt give me the message when I came in that they'd called. I figured it out later and called her over and showed her where to look for my notes when someone calls for me so if its something easy she can just give them the answer.

Two hours later a guy calls asks for me and im on the phone. She tells him ill call him back. at 5pm. Shes gathering her belongings to go home and now i have to stay afterhours to call the guy back. I'm like did you look at my notes? It literally says i was calling because I sent him a link he needs to click to set up his autopay. You couldnt tell him to do that? I need to stay afterhours because you couldn't read my notes and tell him to click a link?

Suddenly the boss thinks its totally fine to call people back for stupid simple answers when this morning it was terrible customer service and he takes her side over mine because he's an asshole in general and picks fights with me on the regular because either he hates me and wants me to quit but doesnt want to fire me since he has no real grounds because my work is just fine and he just hates me because hes a joyless fuck who takes his stress out on me for some reason.

Or he just thinks this is a normal way to treat employees and expects thats fine that he treats me like this.

My fault probably because I've been putting up with this bullshit. I've been there a year and a half and hes been an asshole the whole time but its a good job for me in every other way or at least i believed that and I didn't put him in his place, because hes the boss. You dont win an argument when you arent the boss. So I just didn't argue.

Basically he randomly picks fights with me and I get mad and he says im "being irrational" because he doesnt understand that im being MAD and not even a little bit irrational at all and thats a super sexist dick thing to say and the only reason i havent CORRECTED HIM is because i was trying not to get fired.

Because if i said what i thought i would certainly get fired. But he doesnt listen to me anyway so theres no reason to say anything really. He has never listened to me ever about anything. I tell him theres pink mold in the bathroom he says there isn't. I'm like you can see it. and i cleaned the bathroom my damn self even though I am certainly not the janitorial staff. I tell him there are ants he says no there are no ants. I buy ant traps and get rid of the ants.

Anyway I spent my weekend in some existential thought with my oldest friends and people most important to me, and this motherfucker picks a fight with me over a thing there is no possible way I am wrong about.

and that was it. Life is too short to have a boss whos an asshole. I left and didnt go back. got my stuff the next day. bye fuck you asshole. youve ruined enough of my days. So ive been unemployed and looking for work since. I got a job offer yesterday so it took a week and a half.

No clue if my new job will be any good or not but i went in for the interview and it's beautiful in there and there was calm soft music and the guy who interviewed me was basically selling me on the job instead of the other way around. Told me they have almost no turnover but they are opening another location so they need new people. Asked why i left my previous job. I told him it was a personality conflict and i was just so unhappy there. He said he used to have a job selling financial products to insurance agents and they're all crazy. He may as well have put his arm around me and said, "it's ok baby, i got you". It felt like that. Sent me a job offer a few hours later. Pay is less, hours way different, commute is longer, but there's benefits. I had no benefits at that shitty job with that asshole for a boss who did nothing but make every day suck for me. I have so many stories of what a dick he is. He interviewed someone for my job a month or so ago. Because he never took the ad down. I was there a year and a half! He stopped buying the coffee i like too. If he wasnt trying to get rid of me he's just really shit at treating people like he wants to keep them. The longer im gone the easier it is to see that wasnt as good a job as it seemed from the outside. It wasnt even close.

It was hard. and complicated. It took me about a year to become competent. I was just starting to get good at it. He really should have seen that as valuable and that he should treat me well since he had such an investment of time and money sunk into me.

But he didn't. He never complimented me on anything ever. He never said so much as Good job about anything at any point. He was just an asshole if i did something wrong or sometimes even if i didn't. He'd go off on me randomly and I'd just say OK because i'm not going to argue. Because if I get involved in this I'm going to end up with no job because I'm going to tell him what I think.

So basically this is what ended up going down except i didnt even bother to tell him what i think of him because he doesnt listen to me anyway and i didn't feel like i needed to tell him what i think of him or anything at all. He's a joyless asshole under pressure to have a successful business and he's not doing it. Probably because he's an asshole and its a very people-person job.

He wanted me to handle everything. Even though I didnt know how and i'm not the business owner. He was mad about me directing customers to him. When they ask for him because hes the business owner. Good luck being successful dude. I'm out.

This guy who just hired me literally told me that if people are angry that wouldn't be my responsibility to handle. I'd get the manager for them. I'm like ??????????? really????????? because its been my job to get yelled at for my last two jobs now for about the last four years of my life. In fact, at some point during the pandemic it was literally my job for a month to let people yell at me for not receiving their furniture and once they calmed down giving them gift certificates. I did that for a whole month when I was really sick too. Probably the worst month of my life.

and i had some moment where i realized all this work trauma ive been through for the last four years and I just breathed and relaxed. and decided even if this guy didnt hire me and even if he was just talking a load of BS, becuase this asshole boss told me what a great manager he was in the interview too, it just felt so good to have someone on the outside tell me how a person should be treated as an employee.

Because thats not how i was being treated.

for years now.

and thats why i quit.

He gave me validation.

and a job i hope i like and can stay at for a long time.

Went to the funeral today.

Dude died, i quit my job, got a new job before the funeral. That was a big relief. I never thought i was making a mistake having quit but probably i should have looked for a new job first and then put my notice in properly but #1 fuck this guy i was done and #2 i didn't do that so here we are.

I spent the inbetween time kind of panicking that i'll never be able to get another new job ever because of the way I quit. But then also i worked for myself for 8 yrs before the pandemic and I loved it so its fine if i cant work for anyone ever again. I'm my favorite boss. it'll be ok. I just didnt want to go to all the trouble to set my business back up and look for clients again.

Having said that i probably have spent so much more time and energy looking for a job working for someone else. It's been awful. Job hunting is so demoralizing. and its even worse than that now I think because i got so many scammers trying to scam me while I'm just trying to look for some employer to not care that i left my last job suddenly because i cant get along with my boss.

but i got a job and i slept so much better last night than i have in the week and a half since i quit my job.

The details arent finalized so it may not be a done deal but just having a job offer at all is a weight off my mind. and i went to enjoy the funeral today. Thats not the right word. you dont 'enjoy' a funeral but i was able to be fully present at the funeral and have conversations with all these bereaved people who were mostly just in shock. All of them. I mean no one was expecting this and it really just seemed like no one had gotten past is this even really happening. I was in this room full of people who were in some surreal land inside themselves. I did what i could to talk to everyone but I'm not even sure what I was talking about and they didn't seem to care either. It felt like everyone was just glad everyone else was there.

Funerals all suck.

Theyre always weird and wrong and unsatisying but i think thats the place, at least for me in my limited experience, where you start to really come to terms with the fact that this person is gone. I think thats what theyre for.

Whats even weirder is that I had a tiki theme party to go to after. Which made the whole day even more surreal as i changed from funeral black to Hawaii and from sad to happy.

But the happy party after really made me feel normal in a way I havent now since he died in the first place. Just chatting with friends about things. Not existential things. Just normal things. Like things are normal.

Found myself referring to "my job" and meaning the old one. I dont know what my new job is like yet. I dont even know what days off I will or wont have coming up. Which i just realized may be an issue since people at the party were asking if i'm going to show up for things. i'm like yeah i have the day off work. and i remembered later i asked for the day off work with a boss i dont have anymore and a job i dont have anymore so i need to make sure the new boss is cool with giving me these days off up front or i'll have to find a differnt job i guess.

but i am very glad i have a job offer and I'm very glad i have happy friends and upcoming plans.

I need to cross post all my tumblr posts for the last four weeks i think give or take now. I didnt mean to stop doing it.

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josenoelrobles · 4 months

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Job and Business Opportunities: Are You Making the Right Choice?

Introduction What if everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear? It’s a powerful, almost paralyzing question that strikes at the heart of every major life decision. When a good job or business opportunity presents itself, the stakes feel higher than ever. But how do you know if it’s truly what you want or just a mirage in the desert of your ambitions? Buckle up, because we're diving deep into the exhilarating and often terrifying world of career and business decision-making. Personal Experience What is it that we really want when it comes to having a better job or a successful business? Do we want to make more money? Do you want to be recognized? Do you want to feel important? Do we want to provide more comfort for our loved ones? Do you want to help more people and provide more opportunities for individuals in our communities? The list of reasons can go on and on. But for many of us, if we are honest, what we really want and we are looking for is time. For me, when I first started creating and growing businesses it was everything about the money. I knew that the only way that I could make as much money as I wanted and do it in the time frame that I wanted was through having my own business. I never deviated from that. That was my only goal, making money. Now that I am older, and I like to believe wiser, my priorities have changed a lot. Some of my desires are still the same. For example, I still would like to be able at some point, to build my own customized and personalized home. But if I never get to do it and have it, I am ok with that. Is not a do-or-die situation like it was many years ago. One major thing that changed in my life is that making money is no longer my number one priority. I don't make decisions driven or influenced by money anymore. Now my top priorities are time and purpose. Not that money is not important, but is not and it will never be as important as time, and the purpose in life. I have compromised who I really am for a very long time. I have compromised my values and deviated from what God called me to do and be for a very long time. But not anymore. I am trying to put my priorities in order and try to make better decisions when it comes to businesses and job opportunities. I always had some type of business but at the current moment, I have a job due to the season that I am in right now which is going through my second bankruptcy. Things have been interesting to say at least. It has been a huge adjustment working for someone else after not having a boss for so long. But it has been a great opportunity that has taught me humility for sure. These last 5 months or so have been painful and very frustrating. Making less than 30% of what I was making in my previous job; having a schedule that makes me work 6 days a week, and on top of that I have to commute 4 hours every day to go to work and then come home. So you can imagine that it has not been easy. But overall I am thankful because I believe that God is teaching something. Other than the humility and depending on Him instead of my own strength, and wisdom I am not sure. But even if He is teaching me only those things, it has been a great class, I just hope that I can pass it. And I know that He has blessed me with a lot more than just the teachings. One major and perhaps the most important thing is that I get to get home every day and see my wife and kids every day when before I only spend weekends at home due to my previous job. But sometimes it is easier to complain and focus on the negative instead of the positive. Recently I had a conversation with my boss where he shared that they will be expanding the business and that they will be opening a new location very soon. And that he would like to train me so I can become sort of a general manager for the new location. This opportunity will come with a hefty pay increase and a lot of responsibilities. The way that he presented to me was like the opportunity of a lifetime because the offer also included making a percentage of the revenues of the location. So if the business grows, so will my income. For many, this will be a dream come through. For me, I am not sure. I hope that my boss doesn't come across this blog any time soon because I don't want him to be disappointed with me and fire me because I need my current job for the moment 😅. But the truth is that I don't really want the new job offer. All of this should be scheduled to happen within the next six months or so and a lot of things can happen in six months. Heck, maybe the opportunity never comes, but for now, it looks like it is mine if I want it. And I don't want it. You see if I only analyze and concentrate on the money and financial stability that this opportunity is going to bring to me and my family, it is a no-brainer. I have and will say yes to this job offer. But when I look a little dipper, I quickly realize that is not as pretty as it may look. Again, the money will be great but what would I have to give in return for that money? If I am working 6 days a week right now, between 12 to 14 hours a day, counting commute time. Can you imagine how many days and hours will I be working as a salaried general manager starting, growing, and managing a new location? In other words, starting, growing, and managing a business that is not truly mine. I am not sure that this trade makes sense. I don't think that it is worth it. In order to receive you always have to give. Unless you are talking about the Grace of God. That is the only thing that we get as a gift without asking anything from us. But other than that, there is no such thing as a free meal the saying says. We don't have anything material when we come to this world and can't take anything material neither when we leave this world. And I do believe that we should leave a good inheritance to our children. I just don't believe that inheritance should be only money and material positions. How about good values? How about good memories? How about good teachings about how to be a good follower of Christ? How about a good example of how to be a good Husband? How about being a role model and showing them how to be a good citizen? To me, some of the opportunities that I had in the past have been just distractions and their purpose has been only distracting me from what God has called me to be and do. I have gone into business that I have not business doing. I have also taken job offers that I should have not taken. And just because all that I analyzed was the money factor. And 100% of those times, I did make good money, or at least more than I had. But 100% of those times either I lost it all or I ended up disappointed and unfulfilled. Feeling empty and feeling that I was just wasting my time doing something that I should not have been doing. So before you say yes to that big "opportunity" that is in front of you; that seems like is going to solve all your problems. And it looks like is the answer to your prayers; take your time to analyze it properly. See if it aligns with your values. If it aligns with what you are passionate about. If it aligns with what you are good at. If it aligns with your purpose. Whether or not it will bring more than just money to your life. Because trust me, money is not everything. It is good to have it but is not the most important thing. If you are married with kids, make sure that your spouse and children are on board with this decision. Because they too will be paying the consequences of your decision. Whether those consequences are good or bad, they will be impacted and affected by them. Ask God for wisdom and He will give it to you. Don't rush into things just because they look pretty from afar. You could and will be disappointed when you get close to it. The Data: Facts and Figures Understanding the broader landscape can help frame your decision-making process. According to a Gallup poll, 85% of people worldwide are not engaged or are actively disengaged in their jobs. This statistic is staggering and underscores the importance of aligning career choices with personal values and goals. Furthermore, a study by the Harvard Business Review found that employees who find meaning in their work are 93% more engaged. The Problem: Deciphering True Desires Problem 1: External Pressure Many people face immense pressure from family, friends, and society to pursue traditional definitions of success. This pressure can cloud judgment and lead to choices that are not genuinely aligned with personal desires. Problem 2: Fear of the Unknown Fear of failure or making the wrong choice can be paralyzing. This fear often stems from a lack of self-awareness or confidence in one’s abilities. Problem 3: Lack of Information Making informed decisions requires thorough research and understanding of the opportunities at hand. Many people make hasty decisions without fully exploring their options. The Solution: Practical Steps to Clarity Step 1: Self-Reflection Start with a deep self-reflection. Ask yourself what you truly value and what your long-term goals are. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this process. Write down your passions, strengths, and the kind of lifestyle you envision for yourself. Step 2: Research and Inform Gather as much information as possible about the opportunity. This includes understanding the company’s culture, the industry’s future, and the specifics of the role or business venture. Websites like Glassdoor and industry reports can provide valuable insights. Step 3: Seek Mentorship Talk to people who have been in similar situations. Mentors can provide a wealth of knowledge and perspective that you might not have considered. They can also help you weigh the pros and cons based on their experiences. Step 4: Risk Assessment Evaluate the risks involved. What are the potential downsides, and are you prepared to handle them? This includes financial risks, time investment, and the impact on your personal life. Step 5: Pilot Testing If possible, try to test the waters before fully committing. This could mean taking on a part-time role, freelancing, or starting your business as a side hustle. This approach allows you to gain firsthand experience without fully diving in. Conclusion Deciding whether to take a job or business opportunity is one of the most significant choices you’ll make in life. By reflecting on your true desires, conducting thorough research, seeking mentorship, assessing risks, and testing the waters, you can make a decision that aligns with your values and long-term goals. Remember, it’s not just about seizing an opportunity but ensuring it’s the right one for you. Read the full article

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