#my brain chemistry is strange.

[annabelle--cane]

something that I think is indicative of the brilliance of goncharov is that, due to it having been lost media for so long, most of the copies of it that resurfaced all have slightly different but equally coherent cuts. the copy I got from a mega.nz link my friend sent me features katya strangling ice pick joe and has a shot revealing andrey as goncharov's final killer, but I've seen a few people on here talking about the copies they have and how, in their version of the film, katya doesn't miss when she tries to shoot goncharov and he dies right there. I believe this is also where the confusion about katya's last name (goncharova/michailova) comes from. scorsese and jwhj0715 created such a fleshed out world in this film that they prepared dozens of themetically resonant and meaningful cuts, all of which are works of art in and of themselves and provide different angles into this tragic tale of cyclical violence.

[musicky]

I finished All the Hidden Paths by Foz Meadows. So good. I loved it.

You know that vibe from A Taste of Gold and Iron that’s just “you two are such fucking idiots about each other”? THEY ARE JUST SUCH FUCKING IDIOTS ABOUT EACH OTHER and I love it.

Spoilers under the cut.

(Although the spoilers are more vibes than specific plot points honestly.)

So. The end of my copy of A Strange and Stubborn Endurance had a snippet of this and it was enough for me to know that the plot line was going to include attempts at seducing one or both of the boys into an affair. (This is barely even a spoiler - that’s the prologue.)

I was NERVOUS. I hate “are they cheating oh no what do i do” plots. I hate when there’s chapters and chapters of angst and drama that could be solved by a simple fucking conversation. I spend the whole time frustrated and annoyed and yelling at the book “JUST FUCKING TALK” and that’s not a pleasant reading experience for me.

Foz did not do this, and I could not be more grateful. From Moment 1, these two idiots trust each other and care about each other more than anything else in the world (okay yes except for Markel, WE KNOW VEL). At no point do either of them actually think the other did anything. They both worry that the other will think they did, but there is never any doubt or suspicion or mistrust.

And I loved it. It makes the story so much more compelling. These two ADORE each other (btw Vel is HILARIOUSLY oblivious to his own feelings like I mean SAME babes, but COME ON) and they trust each other and if you take that away, then WHAT IS THE POINT OF THE STORY.

I cannot even begin to express how glad I am that my yelling about this book (to my dog) was “SEE? Do you see how PERFECT THEY ARE TOGETHER???” and not begging fictional characters to talk to each other. That’s a stupid conflict to have in a story. It’s cheap, you can do better.

Do they have trouble communicating? Yes, absolutely. Does it make perfect sense for their personalities, their histories, their traumas? YES. Was I so fucking glad that Markel looked at Cae and said “you shouldn’t have left him” because Cae is a damn idiot? YES.

This is a LOVE STORY, not because they had to contend with accusations of infidelity, but because, in every single fucking moment, both of them knew with 100% certainty that this man who they love would not do that to them.

The trust, the loyalty, the honor, the respect, the pure honest CARE is important and meaningful. Even Vel, who has only known shitty, toxic relationships, is a good man and a good husband and that is important. He tries, he wants to be, he works hard at it.

Like, that poor man gets bitchy with his husband and realizes UM SHIT I can’t just walk out and see what happens WHAT DO I DO and then he does his best. That’s what you do, Vel. Your best.

(Markel’s “bold of you to assume that Velasin has ever been wrong” was PRICELESS)

The love confession was glorious. GLORIOUS.

(Side note, CAE LIKES SMART MEN and I love him for it.)

As someone who doesn’t do the politics and people shit either, I love EVERY second of Vel figuring shit out and asking questions and staying calm until it’s worth losing his shit, and I adore Cae just sitting there, watching him and being like “I have never wanted anything more in my life than I want you right now”. GOOD FOR YOU CAE GET YOUR MAN.

I’ll need a reread because plot points blur together for me until I get a second time through, but I’m basically ready to flip back to the front and start right now 😂

Also, apparently I love a good “oh no, this stranger I’m stuck with every minute of every day is really hot and I want to jump his bones” (both of these stories and AToGaI, THANKS FOZ AND ALEX) so that was also fun.

They’re adorable and stupid and I love them.

[brainbleedo]

OKAY LISTEN VERY MUCH NOT TMA/TMAGP BUT HOLY SHIT

NEW LIFE IS STRANGE GAME????

WITH MAX!!???

IT LOOK SO GOOD AND I AM ACTUALLY SO FUCKING HYPED FOR OCTOBER ISTG IM GOING INSANE RN

OPENED YT AND GOT FLASHBANGED BY THAT SHIT

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Doom Dark Ages,,,Life Is Strange Double Exposure,,,,

It's a GREAT week to be a fan of both 😭😭

Might have to cave and upgrade to a ps5

[theotherrichardpapen]

Sydney Theatre Company - Strange Case of Jekyll & Hyde // Sally Rooney - Normal People // Christian Lee Hutson - OCDemon // Anne Sexton - A Portrait in Self-Letters

[soft-girl-musings]

i say a lot of things alter my brain chemistry but i don't realize just how much until i reach baseline again

[nightingaletrash]

Okay I think my first playthrough will be a Dark Urge Monk. I've still got to decide on the race and design, but I think I'll save that for launch day and play around in the CC until I like what I'm working with.

The Dark Urge just appeals to me so much, maybe its just where I'm at mentally or because of the characters I'm enjoying at this point in time, but the idea of someone wrestling with this inner darkness and the constant, draining battle against it... it'll either end with them finding people who help them control it and provide the support they need to keep it at bay OR it'll go pear-shaped and they'll be worse than ever :3

[worstlovesong]

No Burden is actually one of the best albums ever and I will not be taking criticism ever

[d0d0-b0i]

i feel like my vibes have been kinda strange lately. sorry not sorry. here’s my latest son Jörmungandr

[lillybean730]

so proud of the fact that ive been labeled as an eccentric by my brother, even though i don't feel *that* weird

[trebondialanna]

losing my mind while listening to the lis2 soundtrack

[unusualsims]

What have I done Did I waste a life just for fun What have I done

[mothellie]

And if I said Life is Strange 2 is the best game in the series? What then?

[lordsovorn]

Strange how people keep saying that "Shuro hates in Laios the same traits he supposedly loves in Falin", which is...

Seriously, look at him and his dialogue - does he hate Laios for being a monster freak? For being nerdy and weird and loving nature? For eating bugs? No, that's not it.

Shuro hates* Laios for being so profoundly socially inept (from his perspective).

The key difference between Touden siblings isn't that Falin is a pretty girl - the key difference is that Falin is caring and accommodating to other people, and Laios is awkward and unobservant, seemingly egotistic at the surface level.

(others have already written wonderful essays on why and how they grew up like that)

It has to be noted that Shuro is a sheltered noble from a land where proper etiquette is paramount - he is used to people being incredibly subtle AND incredibly observant around him. He comes from a high-context culture where everyone assumes things based on lots of social cues and shared understanding of context. That's not even a matter of being neurotypical, that's his culture (in addition to his personality and brain chemistry)

He is also rather introverted as person and doesn't have many friends. Even his attachments and emotions in childhood are expressed subtly, in a restrained and proper way. He is polite and refined, perfectly fitting into his house's expectations - even if that means repressing his childhood interests and little weird joys.

In that particular way, the opposite of Laios.

Shuro hates* Laios for being the opposite of the image HE was grown into. This strange man is so utterly insensitive and so open about it - he has no sense of shame (like Shuro), no tact and ability to shut up (like Shuro), no restraint (like Shuro). Look at him talking non-stop about things he wants to talk about and having fun (unlike Shuro) while completely overestepping Shuro's obvious boundaries!

The boundaries, I must say, that not only never before needed to be spelled out, but in Shuro's upbringing and culture would be as ridiculous to spell out as "I want to pee, so I'll go to the bathroom and remove my pants and sit on the toilet and release the sphincter holding my pee in my pee bladder"

Falin is not only awesome in his eyes for being weird and in touch with nature, but for being very delicate, observant and caring AT THE SAME TIME. She is a gem in Shuro's eyes, a miracle of his dreams.

In Falin, he not only sees a nerd-freak - he sees a hope for an introverted, polite, restrained person like himself to reconnect with that love for nature and nerdiness and freakiness.

Laios isn't like that. Laios is unobservant for subtle cues - and so a lot more loud, persistent, enthusiastic and unwittingly annoying. Yes, Falin has all that inside her too - but she restrains herself in order not to be a burden. And so does Shuro, in order to fit expectations. There's similarity between them in that regard, between two introverted and restrained weirdos. And a hope for a kindred, more open soul, from the more restrained Shuro's perspective.

* - I don't think Shuro's feelings to Laios are properly described as hate. Yeah, in his darkest moment he says that, but honestly it felt more like an accumulated stress from a continuous cultural and personal misunderstanding, rather than a profound personal hate.

...

What was the post about?.. Oh, yeah, Shuro loving Falin and disliking Laios. That's not him being too horny to think, that's him loving in Falin the defining difference between the two - they aren't gender-swapped clones, after all. Give my boy some respect and nuance.

[talentforlying]

not my synopsized explanation of the tree ass tattoo breaching containment, of all things. godspeed, my little friend.

[minminambus]

Ok ok once I am done w/ this ask, I MUST write the Ramrage/Rattleroad meeting. I’m rehearsing it in my head so many times.