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#my brain doesn't always want to brain
chaosandorder46 · 4 months
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Task switching is probably the hardest thing for my brain to accomplish.
I generally have the attention span of a gnat and work in a role that includes constant interruptions. So, I struggle hard to switch tasks or get back on task after being interrupted. But my 2024 goal is for me and my brain to get along a bit better, and to deal with some burnout issues.
I am super reward driven. LIke if I were a dog, that would be in my adoption profile. It's not totally feasible to give myself a little snacky or break every time I complete a task (sadly). BUT, since I am a huge fountain pen nerd AND write almost constantly, whenever I need to switch tasks (or get back on task after being interrupted) I change pens...thus colors. It is so damn SATISFYING.
I've also started using a productivity timer, and budget time for tasks. My to do list will never be done, and I tend to work on the more enjoyable things until they are done, procrastinating on the less enjoyable tasks. So I end up behind on the items I hate to do...and catch-up is no fun.
I also scan my notes into OneNote weekly-ish, and type up a list of search terms beside the scanned handwritten notes, so that in a year when I am trying to remember how exactly we dealt with a specific issue, I can efficiently go to my notes. I also like OneNote because you can 'flag' action items and they will drop onto your Outlook task manager. It has a ton of other features as well, that I should probably consider utilizing. I then forward those to Asana, which is a better task manager, IMO.
Anyway, this is some nerd shit, but..hi. 🤓👋 Sharing in case anyone else finds this helpful. It has been a game changer for me.
I'm still really fucking far behind in all things, but I think that is just working in corporate healthcare in America?
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months
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Been thinking about the X-Files recently. A show I have a hazy, but fond memory of.
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th3e-m4ng0 · 4 months
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camels-pen · 2 months
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completely unrelated thought to literally anything i've been doing today:
canon Sanji getting swapped with a Sanji from a genderswap AU. key point is that everyone's p much the same personality wise
there are crises going on. but mostly for canon Sanji lmao
this includes:
Luffy still likes to walk around w/ an open shirt
Franky also still likes to walk around w/ an open shirt
Usopp, guess what, also likes to walk around w/ an open shirt
granted, Usopp at least wears crop tops sometimes
Brook looks pretty much the same except for speaking mannerisms / voice pitch; startles the hell out of Sanji bc he keeps expecting it to be his Brook until a Skull Joke comes out of those chuckling teeth
The knee jerk reaction to Robin and Nami keeps crossing wires- one moment Sanji will just register a guy in his peripheral but not who he's speaking to and cuss and complain and shit. then the realization will kick in and he'll be caught up trying to apologize, but then wondering if he does need to apologize because uh, Nami and Robin are guys here right?? and they're not his Nami and Robin, but at the same time he can't just be rude to Nami and Robin-
he ends up staring into space for a while thinking in circles about it
Zoro is now of the gender he typically dotes on
"H-Hey, Moss-chan-"
"Don't call me that"
"Right. You want a smoothie?"
"I'm not gonna fuck you."
Usopp is the easiest to dote on, followed by Chopper, Franky, and Luffy. funny thing is, aside from Zoro, none of them have complained about/refused said doting. Sanji is reassuring himself that his list doesn't mean anything. he's not falling for Usopp just because of a pair of tits. that'd be ridiculous. after all his Usopp has got plenty big tits already-
he slams his head into a wall trying to forget that thought
also. he has no outlet for any frustration/anger/overwhelming feelings because he's got his code of chivalry thing. so he can't fight Zoro and he doesn't want to fight Robin or Nami. he starts smoking more to compensate, but then he either runs out or Chopper intervenes and gets him to promise to limit his use
in short. suffering.
This Nami and Robin do notice though & while Nami very much does not want to fight Sanji on account of, yknow, not wanting any broken bones or terrible injuries, Robin on the other hand-
He knew it'd help Sanji and it'd be nice to have a sparring partner to practice the more deadly things he can do on someone who can handle it, so he's kinda like "if it'll help, i don't mind sparring"
Sanji is caught between "oh fuck yes, finally someone to kick" and "I CANT HURT ROBIN-KUN"
the sparring ends up very pathetic on Sanji's side of things- think his fight with Kalifa but without him trying to bluff and looking openly stressed- Usopp listens to Sanji's woes about it later while she tinkers on inventions lmao
Usopp is also oddly clingy with Sanji, more so than his own Usopp. However, Sanji doesn't even bother thinking about it, just happy to soak up all the affection. He always has some sort of crisis thinking about his own Usopp later though.
Zoro, and I cannot stress this enough, is a woman. a buff, sweaty, mossball of a woman.
so yeah, suffering.
fem sanji, on the other hand:
having the time of her life
proud bisexual woman going "dear god, so many hot guys- wait shit, is that mosshead"
starts getting "overly friendly" with Usopp- laying his head in her lap, playing with his hair, carrying him around, calling him pet names, making him special snacks, etc.
everyone else puts it together real quick, except Usopp. who doesn't realize the answer until fem Sanji gives him a goodbye kiss on the cheek before going to prep for dinner
The answer: fem Usopp and fem Sanji are dating
fem Sanji: he's Usopp, therefore he's my partner in this flipped world, therefore I gotta treat him right while his own Sanji isn't here
Usopp wants to tell her the truth. but also. doesn't.
he is a mix of guilt and happiness every time he doesn't speak up and gets some gesture of love from her
in conclusion: one way or another, there is suffering all around <3
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camgoloud · 1 year
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one small detail that stood out to me about this latest episode that i haven’t seen anyone else talking about yet is that when the commentators are calling colin “inspiring” and the “man of the match,” they are celebrating him not for actually scoring the goals himself, but for providing the crucial assists to make both of them happen. and i really love that because for me it’s the absolute perfect wrap to his character arc across all three seasons!
like, we know that colin’s job on this team has never been to score goals. in fact i’m pretty sure we’ve never heard about a single goal that he has scored. colin is and always has been a team player, not a star—and we’ve seen that crop up over and over. notably, we’ve seen the fact that he’s not entirely at peace with that crop up over and over: see the way he was affected by nate’s entire holidy-inn-painting monologue, being benched to make room for zava, etc.—like, this is the thing he’s sensitive about! this is where all of his insecurities come from!
but at the SAME TIME it’s also tied very intimately with all his struggles re: hiding his sexuality— “colin’s a chameleon,” etc. it’s fascinating because there’s SO much tension there between colin 1. feeling bad about the fact that he never stands out on the pitch the way some of his teammates do, because of who he is on the team, and 2. feeling like he CAN’T stand out, ever, because of Who He Is As A Person. etc. it’s like. he’s filling this role in the background. he’s afraid he’s not doing it well enough. he’s afraid that what and who he is isn’t good enough and isn’t worthy of recognition. he wishes he were someone different. trying to be someone different in the locker room is clearly making him so unhappy and stressed out. it is All Connected and my thoughts have been doing laps around it at an ever-increasing rate since i watched episode 2.07 ‘headspace’ if not before!
and all of this is why it’s so incredible to me that in the end, colin’s big moment comes from making assists and not goals! because on the one hand i understand the fandom desire for the colin post-coming out glowup that we all knew was coming—to see him, like, ~prove everybody wrong about him~ and inspire people by suddenly becoming a standout player and scoring goals left and right, even though that never used to be his role on the team before. and don’t get me wrong, i was 100% on board that train, and would have loved it for him if that was how it went down in the end, also. i think he should get to score here and there! as a treat! especially now that richmond are playing total football and there’s been so much emphasis placed on how it’s not just jamie/dani/occasionally sam who are making all the goals anymore!
but i don’t know! especially after the events of the last few episodes, there’s something very special to me about getting to see a colin who, rather than becoming someone entirely new in the moments right after coming out, just feels free to become, and be at peace with, the best version of the same self he’s always been. he’s still a team player first and foremost, but now that he’s not as weighed down by the need to chameleon/hide/pretend to be someone he’s not, he’s so much better at it. and everyone sees this! he gets to be celebrated for his contributions within the role he’s always played! he (and everybody else!) finally recognizes the value that he adds to the team just by being himself—fully himself! it resolves all the tension and insecurity that we’ve seen him struggling with this whole time, on every level. and so this moment was genuinely the perfect ending for his journey in my opinion—i’m so so happy that we were tall enough to join him on the ride here, and so excited to see what he does going forward these last few episodes now that some of that pressure is off him <3
#it's like. he doesn't want to be a spokesperson! he shouldn't have to End Homophobia by becoming zava 2.0! in fact it would not be possible#for him to do this even if he DID come out publicly and then became the best goal-scorer the league has ever seen because the people who are#the problem will ALWAYS manage to find something to attack him for no matter what he does#what's important to me and i think to him as well is that he has the confidence in himself that he needs to perform at his own personal best#and that his teammates recognize this and support him the same way he has always supported them both on and off the pitch#and while a part of me would have liked to see a public coming-out arc i completely get why they're not going there. it would be a lot to#tackle and this season is already getting justified criticism for spreading itself too thin#i think it would have been POSSIBLE to do and do well but. it would place a LOT of constraints on the entire rest of the plot#and i do recognize somewhere in the back of my brain that colin is not ACTUALLY the protagonist of this show for most people#so them choosing to take the character in the ‘i don’t want to be a spokesperson’ direction instead makes sense and was handled very well#anyway. one other reason i’m pleased about all of this is that while most of my recent tl fic is no longer canon-compliant as of this week.#i sure did NAIL the happy ending being an assist and not a scored goal. have been thinking these thoughts for WEEKS and i feel so vindicated#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes
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spielzeugkaiser · 2 years
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[MASTERPOST]
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introspectivememories · 8 months
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shanks' need/desire to protect his friends and family from anything and everything vs buggy's gigantic inferiority complex that makes him take any act of protection/love as someone looking down on him, FIGHT
#buggy could trip and shanks could catch him bc god forbid buggy hurts his knees#and instead of saying thank you buggy just goes: what? you think i can't handle hitting my knees? you think im too weak?#what this man needs is the world's most patient therapist#and on the other end i think shanks' desire to protect his friends and family does come off as condescending smtimes#and like all of his emotions are dialed up to a 100 when it comes to buggy#and so at a certain point it does come off as possessive and off-putting and i think that's why buggy chafes at it so much#bc buggy barely belongs to himself as is and i don't think he could handle all of shanks' desire#like buggy already thinks he's weak and cowardly. less than in every sense and then on top of that to have shanks protect him??#it would ruin him i think#and like of course shanks doesn't understand!!! what is there to understand when you've always been good at everything?#he loves his people and he loves buggy especially so and he wants to take care of them!! all the power he has is just a tool he uses to kee#them safe. and i do think there is a voice in shanks' head that says 'just take buggy. he can't resist anyway. you could keep him safe by#your side. he'd never be in danger at your side. just take him' but shanks knows that's one step too far and so he never does it.#anyway the occupy way too much of my brain space these days#one piece#buggy the clown#op buggy#buggy one piece#akagami no shanks#op shanks#shanks one piece#shuggy#shanks x buggy
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kagrenacs · 1 month
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Dealing with the revenue agency truly is Kafkaesque
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flowercrowngods · 7 months
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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b4kuch1n · 5 months
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Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!
you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?
#ask#bakuspeech#I am joking to be clear lmao#thank u happy bday to me !!#tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me#cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly#so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around#I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know#I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited#and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead#and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak#listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story#it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao#but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol#it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did#I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u#lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here#the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games'#my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad
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holocene-sims · 5 months
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a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊
#holocene.txt#hlcn: story extras#consider this a thanks for the kind words on gratitude day :)#i wanna respond to everyone individually when i have time and also wax poetic about how much every comment means to me#it really does mean a lot#it's been a rough year and a very lonely year like i'm genuinely just so :/#i lost both of my grandmothers this year very suddenly and the holidays feel empty now and i'm dealing with scary health issues#i finally had a brain mri after waiting for it to get scheduled since JUNE and now i have to wait on results and undergo some other testing#and i'm losing my mind a little because i planned a nice christmas gift for my mom and it feels ruined because the post office lost it#and my dad ruined the whole surprise of it by calling customer support on speaker phone with her in the room...and she ofc heard everything#i just wanted something nice for my mom :( she deserves it and although i have other gifts for her still it's not all what i planned#i don't mean to rant but i just wanted to add context when i say it means a lot that anyone even remotely likes my pixels#i may not know most of you very well *yet* (trying to fix that!!) but it's nice to feel a little support from somewhere :) beyond nice#and sorry for being absent a lot this year but i swear i have so much appreciation for y'all and i love you and your pixels dearly#i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox
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bougiebutchbitch · 1 year
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........okay okay okay hear me out
in House’s Head, House realizes he would rather fantasize about diagnosing symptoms than sex
and there’s obviously a bit of self-loathing involved (”How messed up is that?”, his subconscious asks grumpily, in the voice of one tragically un-naked Lisa Cuddy)
he is CONSTANTLY overcompensating and cracking sex jokes to literally anyone who moves in his vicinity
but I think in 4 long seasons he’s been shown having actual hook ups... twice. Once with his ex-girlfriend, once with a random hooker. He likes to sabotage his own potential relationships before they ever reach a physical stage - pretty much every time he shows genuine interest in someone, by the end of that episode or the next he’s pushed them away for whatever obscure reason. And it’s supposed to show his fears of being emotionally vulnerable, but it also means he never really gets physically vulnerable, either. Which - yeah, could be interesting to poke at with regards to his identity as a disabled man, but I also raise you....
ACE HOUSE?????? ACE HOUSE HEADCANONS???????????? I COULD MAKE THIS WORK
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hikeyzz · 4 months
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good morning i can't stop thinking about my gf telling me my body was made to be worshipped as she kissed down my stomach and thighs end me end me end me end me end me end me en
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notanotherinfjblog · 7 months
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Texting habits per judging function
No one asked, but here are some observations I've made in my personal life.
*Note that this probably differs by age, gender, and culture (for instance, I have been told by several Americans that I use an insane amount of emojis, whereas it's not considered weird at all here in Germany).
FJ:
Generally very good at texting, will respond to absolutely every point you make. If you send them a long voice message, they can be found taking notes while listening so that they will not forget to answer any point you made.
Have a very hard time leaving someone on read and if they do, either something happened and they forgot, or they simply don't like you very much. If they open the message, they answer. If they don't have time to answer you right now, they simply will not open the message yet.
If the text conversation is done (i.e. you wrote something like "bye, see you tomorrow!" that does not require another response), they will still at the very least send you an emoji back for no reason other than letting you know that "Yes! I read your message! I'm not ignoring you! I love you!" (Literally every FJ I have ever known does this. Every single one, including myself.)
They will adapt to your style of texting. If you are the kind of person that likes to send a bunch of heart emojis to friends and the FJ friend is not, they will still pepper in a heart here and there. If you generally don't use emojis, they will use them only occasionally. If you reply in wallpaper long messages, so will they. If you break up your messages into several texts one after the other, so will they.
FPs:
Also generally quite good at texting and can actually appear a lot warmer in writing than in person (there have been several instances where I received really lovely messages from FPs who I used to think hated my guts whenever we met in person).
Prepare for emojis. Seriously.
You can have infinitely long text conversations with them. If you are willing to commit, the conversation between the two of you will never end. With NFPs, the conversations usually end up spiralling into nonsense scenarios, while SFPs keep telling you about their day and keep answering you about your day every day.
TPs:
(my texting experience with TPs is unfortunately very limited, so feel free to fill in my blanks)
Fe is very noticeable in the extroverts, i.e. they tend to go the FJ route described above, but in a more nonchalant and more relaxed way. Like with FJs, the focus of the conversation is on you and their dynamic with you.
The introverts (i.e. my dad, i.e. my only point of reference) are bad at texting and prefer to call, so almost all text conversations go something like this: TP: "Hi, I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up. I hope everything is alright with you?" You: "Yes, sorry. Everything's good here, how about you, everything okay?" --- end of conversation ---
TJs:
Generally bad at texting. Also don't really like it and see no point in it, so they usually prefer calling or talking in person.
Will appear colder in writing than in person, especially the STJs. Their answers will be straight to the point. No beating around the bush and no needless extension of a conversation in form of jokes/questions/anecdotes for a bonding experience. If they want to tell you something, they will tell you in person.
Have absolutely zero problem leaving people on read and usually don't mean anything by it.
STJs rarely use emojis, NTJs do but not excessively
If their answer requires them to type anything more than two sentences, they will send you a voice message instead. (Literally every single TJ I know does this, except my INTJ brother who is a complete maniac and calls instead.)
#the TJ way of texting will never stop confusing me#i usually don't look at other people's phones but i once witnessed an istj's text conversation and it's been haunting me ever since#she had just visited her husband's family with their kids and her mother-in-law sent her a really long lovely message#saying how much she enjoyed their visit and how much she loved each and every one of them and sent her a bunch of pictures#and this istj replied with 'thanks me too' and THAT WAS IT! if i had been her mother-in-law i would have assumed she doesn't like me at all#but no! this istj spent the next half hour looking at the pictures smiling softly zooming in on everyone's faces and then smiling some more#similarly one of my closest friends is an estj and she will tell you in person how much she loves you but her messages? not that warm#or my entj friend. he is a real chatterbox in person but texting? yeah no forget it#this is unimaginable for me as an FJ i would only do this as a deliberate choice to make it known that i don't want anything to do with the#so texting with a TJ always feels like recalibrating your brain to calm down and go:#'no i know they don't hate me yes i know they text like they do but i know that they don't it's okay they are like this with everyone'#and really sorry for the limited TP section. the only TPs i ever texted are my dad and some occasional acquaintances#so seriously. chime in with your observations! especially to get a broader picture from other cultures than my own as well#typing post#judging functions#cognitive functions
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sciderman · 8 months
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we need to see more non dp spidey pairings
just read the comics man! they're everywhere!
(also, please, be the change you want to see in the world, anon.)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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