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thelittleliars · 1 year

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Love Forever? | Pt. 5

Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader Yelena Belova x fem!Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Mention of death, hints of smut but not really smut?, sadness, grief, a bit of fluff, happy end

Words: 2.9K

AN: It's not the best chapter I've ever written plus I didn't really know how to end this series but here is the final chapter! Did not proof read.

[Gif from bruce-wayne.tumblr.com]

Part 1

"Nat? Darling it's been twenty four hours. Have you eaten anything yet?" Wanda asked the other red head. Yelena actually dragged Wanda into your hospital room in hope to get her sister away from your body. There was no sign of Natasha hearing a word Wanda just had said. "Natasha, have you and Y/N eaten anything yet?" Your name spoken out loud was the thing that got Natasha out of her daze. "No we haven't. She's been sleeping all day." She was in denial about your death and created a 'reality' where you hadn't died and just slept a lot. And since your body wasn't entirely human, it never cooled down as fast as a normal human body would. Your body was still slightly warm but there was no pulse or any brain activity. "How about we go get some food together and afterwards come back here?" "I can't leave her. What if she's so confused and anxious when she wakes up and we're away eating? Y/N doesn't deserve to feel anxiety."

Yelena muttered a sorry to her sister before she told Wanda to do it. Red mist came out of Wanda's fingers, she directed it towards Natasha and her mind. It was hard to control her since Natasha was one hell of a fighter but in the end Wanda could overpower her and give commands to come with them. Yelena and Wanda both stayed with Natasha as they made Nat eat food, take a shower and afterwards a nap. Halfway through the nap, Wanda stopped doing magic on the tiny Avenger. "I hate doing this to her." The red head felt guilty for performing magic on another person without their permission. "I know and I'm sorry for asking. I know she'll feel violated and I hope she won't get triggered but I was desperate. She needed help and only your magic could get through to her."

"I don't think there is a right and wrong here. You're trying to save your sister." Wanda knew too well what it was like to lose a sibling, she didn't want Yelena to feel the pain too. "Thank you Wanda."

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Natasha still sat on the ground when it started to rain. She was starring at the tombstone for an hour already and it didn't seem like she wanted to stop anytime soon. Yelena watched her bigger sister sitting there in silence, she too was overflowed with grief. When she felt drops of water falling on her skin, she walked over to her sister, clearing her throat to not startle Natasha. "Hey, how are you doing?" It was a dumb question but it was at least something to get her talking. "Miserable." The blonde haired woman nodded her head. "I miss her."

"I miss her too Yelena, I miss her too." Tears were mixed with rain drops, they were all rolling down her cheek.

"Lets go to eat something. I don't think she would want us to be like this." Natasha huffed in sadness but stood up and followed her little sister.

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Later that week Natasha was back again with sulking on the couch. "I miss her so much." The red head whined to no one in particular. Yelena spoke up first before Kate could give some sentimental speech. "Gosh I can't wait for your fiancée to get back and get your sorry ass of my couch." She was sick of her sisters constant whining and crying, she loved her so much but at some point it was enough for her, there had to be another way to grief over a pet that passed away.

"God I miss her so much too!" She groaned. "Also she's not my fiancée!"

"Yet."

The redhead answered with a hint of hopelessness and sadness "Yelena, we all know that's not gonna happen." The younger sister drew her eyebrows together. "What? Why? Aren't you guys together?"

"Kinda? I don't know, it's super complicated with our past okay. I actually don't know what we even are right now." Kate saw the doubt on the older girl's face. She could stand seeing her like this. "You two are Soulmates and that is a literal fact. Natasha, she survived because you stood by her side even after death. The universe gave you a second chance so don't fall into doubt. Have some faith."

"What Kate Bishop said." Yelena could have agreed silently but she knew her older sister needed verbal affirmation. She knew how much her sister still struggled with your death and sudden awakening. There was too much denial, grief, happiness, uncertainty and confusion she had to process first before working through all the emotion to heal.

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You were back on your home planet, recovering and getting the needed energy from it since everything but a tiny spark was sucked out of you. Not only does your stay on your planet with the vibrating nature heal you, it also made you stronger than ever. Finding your soulmate made you powerful but that didn't mean you suddenly had superpowers. Just and average 'alien' who feels powerful with the endless energy you had in you. That energy could keep you alive in a fatal accident but only if you have the will to live otherwise the amount of energy in you will die with you.

You had no idea how long you were already gone from earth 4-1-1. All you knew was you were about to be able to go back. The heaviness of your almost death sat still deep inside you. As your body fell into a coma state, you mind still was working and you heard everything around you. You heard how the machines made a flat noise, how Yelena and Natasha started sobbing, how Natasha suddenly stopped crying and acted as if you still were there, how Yelena got Wanda to mind wash Nat, how Tuuli came to explain everything to the others and took your body to your home planet. Turned out everything that happened was a test, a second chance test to see if Natasha really was your one and only. Since the girl stayed by your side until your dying breath and even beyond that, it proved she was your soulmate. It all was a lot mentally and physically but it also meant that you now had so much more time with your friends, lover and family.

You felt sick to your stomach the second your feet came into contact with your new home. Earth had different vibrations and matter that you had to get used to again. No power in the world could made your species to be just fine when you came onto a different planet. You tried your best to ignore the chaos in your stomach and body, said goodbye to Tuuli and made your way to your new home. It was big apartment since you wanted and needed not only to live with Natasha but also with Yelena. It was the best way to heal properly. These two sisters not only lost you once but twice. There was a lot of stuff to work through and heal from, both of them agreed with your idea immediately. Though Natasha would have loved to have you for herself, she knew how important Yelena is to you and the other way around.

The sound of Kate laughing could be heard all the way from down the hall. It made you smile that Yelena had Kate. She was the perfect fit as best friend for the blonde. You suddenly got a bit nervous to see them all again, the time difference was immense to you, a few months on your planet was only a couple hours to days on earth. A minute had gone by and the nervousness you felt was overpowered by the craving of having Natasha by your side. With a deep breath you knocked on the door. Kate opened the door, a loud squeal came out as soon as she saw you, she pulled you in a hug right away. "Welcome back!" The archer told you as she backed away to let you in. Natasha was quick yo stand up from the couch. She could not believe you were finally back. By the time she came to her senses and wanted to welcome you back, she was pushed on the couch by Yelena. "Get out of my way slowpoke." You were engulfed in her arms like a koala, she wasn't letting you go anytime soon. You gave Natasha a wide grin, reassuring her like that that it'd be her time soon too. She looked amazing with her new hair cut. It's short and a tiny bit curly. She wore one of your favorite black tshirts and some dark grey sweatpants. You honestly loved her look and if you two would have been alone you probably would be peeling it all off.

"Love you too Yel." You soothed her by gently rubbing your hand on her back up and down. She could finally feel relaxed again. You were a safe place for her. "At some point you have to let me go. Your sister needs me as much as you."

"She always can join us but I'm sure as hell not letting you go!" The tiny ex-assassin disagreed. You knew she wasn't kidding. That's why you gestured for Nat to come over to you. The red head hesitated for a second, she didn't want to interrupt you and Yelena but a strong pull lead her over to you. She then happily joined the embraced of her loved ones.

Yelena didn't lie. She really didn't let you go, not even for a second. Everything you'd do was with her up until you had to use the restroom. It was difficult for her to let go but eventually she did. After you finished you shouted through the door that you were taking a shower. All you heard was a loud groan. Not even a minute later a loud "Are you kidding me!" came out of her mouth but before you could ask her what she meant, Natasha slipped into the bathroom and locked it behind her.

"I hope you don't mind me joining?" She carefully asked. From the other side of the door you heard Yelena complaining and cussing the both of you before informing you that she'll be gone for a while. "I absolutely don't mind. I do think that it could become a bit awkward." Nat strutted to you in one swift motion and pinned you against the nearest wall. "It doesn't have to be awkward if you don't let it be that way." Her lips crashed on yours, it were hot wet kisses that you loved. One of your hands to to her waist as you pulled her even closer to you. You needed her as close as possible. As soon as she started to kiss your jaw and leave some mindblowing kissed along your neck, you stopped her. "I uhm my body... back on my home plant.." You started but never finished what you actually wanted to say. So you stopped for a minute and gathered your thoughts. "When Tuuli brought me back to our home planet to heal, I went under some changes with my body, the powerful energy I received would have killed me otherwise." Though you were not ashamed of your new body changes, it still made you a bit insecure.

Natasha only smiled wickedly at you. "Well I guess I get to explore and worship your body from scratch then." Her words ignited a familiar fire in you. The one you constantly had during your marriage with her. And it gave you enough confidence to switch your positions and pinning her to the wall. You hauled her up by her ass, her legs go automatically around your waist, the slight pressure against her cunt made her nearly moaning loudly. You hovered your mouth close to her ear. She felt your warm breath against her skin. It drove her insane but she waited patiently for your next move. "Worshipping me sounds amazing but let's talk about you for a second. Do you even know how fucking sexy you look with your new hair?"

"No, I don't think I do. How about you show me?" It was the last button she knew she had to push for you to crazily attack her and her body everywhere with kisses and more.

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"It's been a wild ride, you and me." You said as you played with her hands while lying next to her in bed. The feeling of her skin against your gave you a calming effect that you missed deeply. "Somehow us being married feels like a lifetime ago but at the same time as if it just happened." You looked from your hands to her green eyes. "After everything that happened.. is marriage still something you'd want?"

"I'm not sure. I think I still need time to decide. What about you?" You let yourself get lost in her eyes. And while starring in the green sea that her eyes are, you knew for sure that marrying her again was something you still wanted. You two were already intertwined for life by the view of your home planet. The equalization on earth would be marriage for you it's be just a title but for Natasha who grew up in this system, in this society it was way more than that and you understood where she was coming from. You explained it all to her in which she nodded understandingly. Yelena came back home a couple minutes later. She immediately walked towards your room, door already wide open for her to step into without fearing to catch you both having sex, she popped her head in and fake gasped at you. "Cuddling without your favorite sister?? I'm hurt." Natasha rolled her eyes while you smiled at the younger women. "Gonna join you in a second!"

"Do you think she'll ever let me go?" You asked Natasha after Yelena left. She kissed your temple. "She'll be holding onto you for a while and afterwards she'll be extremely protective of you. Hope you are ready for that." Your life won't be the same as before but you knew it was all worth it. "Ready or not, she's family."

Nat stilled. She seemed to be paralyzed by her thoughts for some minutes. "Family that I almost destroyed." The pain and regret in her voice was obvious and it hurt you. You knew there would be little for you to say for her to forgive herself but you tried anyways. "Nat, honey. Don't feel guilty about that anymore okay? I forgive you and so should you. I do have to say that it was cruel of you but I understand that getting triggered back to not only after Thano's fight but also back to the redroom must have been insanely overwhelming for you."

"But what if it'll happen again? What if I hit my head or get hurt and-"

"I hate cutting you off but I really have to. I don't think it will happen again. If you do hit your head or get an head injury, we'll make sure that Yelena is either with me or you'll see her alone first. We know so much more now than before and I'm sure we can handle everything that comes our way. Let's not worry about it though, we still can do that when we get to that point, okay?" You reassured her. She nodded and cuddled into your side. Soon after Yelena came into the room and jumped on the bedside that was free next to you. She too cuddled into you, letting out a deep sigh, releasing all the tension she was holding.

"Do you have any plans tomorrow sestra?" The older women asked the younger one. "Yes, Kate needs some help with a mean girl so I go and take care of that. Why?"

"Just asking." She said then turning her attention to you. "Y/N, can I take you out on a date tomorrow?"

"Hmm I don't know, can you?" You teased her.

"I can but I won't if you don't stop teasing me." She threatened you.

"Can you both please hurry up with either agreeing or disagreeing on a date? I want to sleep."

"You used to be more fun Yel." You teased her also but were not ready for what was coming next. "That was before I got a ton of issues by you leaving and got traumatized by seeing you die in front of my eyes!" Her words shut you up. You never meant to hurt and traumatize her, though the latter was not much your fault, all you could do now was provide her comfort and love. You muttered a sorry to her as you pulled both of the ex-assassins even closer to you.

Heaviness was still hanging in the air but you felt grateful in that moment. You had your sister back, even though Yelena was your former sister in law she still felt more of a sister than any blood family could ever. And you had Natasha back. You lover, soulmate and future. To think back to your marriage and divorce with Natasha felt crazy to you but still can imagine it doing it all over again if it meant you'll always end up back happily and stronger together. No matter what challenges were still going to be put in your way, you knew for sure that you all were going to conquer them and holding together as a family. After all this is love forever.

Tags: @iamthescarlettwitch , @dark-hunter16 , @marvel-fan-2021 , @myfturn , @natsxwife , @wandanats-goodgirl , @supaheroine , @rosenirmala , @xxsekhmet , @franfrolix , @lonewalker17 , @newawakening9 , @marvelwomen-simp , @automaticwizardnerd , @wifeofnatasharomanoff , @tigerlillyruiz , @lifeontop , @blackwidow-3 , @ordelixx , @mmmmokdok , @ctrlamira , @nattyromanoff2005

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x you #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #black widow x female reader #Love Forever #yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x fem!reader

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kthecutest · 9 months

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Hi Im in soft hours. 🥰But I think about how it would be when K would hold his son in his arms for the first time. (I hope you don't mind the question but I'm getting my period soon and I always have a baby fever).🥰 I also believe that K will be such a good father. He is so amazing. He is also so sweet to the younger members and he has also been taking care of taki for 3 years. 🥰🤩😘💖💗💝

omgggg K's hands would be like a waterfall- just like his eyes. He'll be squirming and squeaking the entire time from his utter adoration for his son. A cute little kid version of K sleeping soundly in his huge hands, his brain system would literally shut down from his overflowing love and excitement for his son.

(gurl- idk how like this period thing is fucking acting like a bluetooth device because I'm on my period right now ToT)

Yesss K will literally be the best father ever. He would do ANYTHING for his little kiddo and his wife ofc. Mans would be using his duality to the maximum too. Would be the kids' inspirational idol papa but also the caring, clingy, lovey dovey stay-at-home dad. Would literally cry out a whole river whenever he gets calls from his members or managers to come to the company for practise or when he must go on tours or concerts; poor papa K don't wanna leave his mini-versions. He'd just wanna cling to them all day, let them do whatever and play along with each and every one of their little tricks, with a sweet honey-like smile on his face.

Over-protective asfff over his kiddos too. Son or daughter, doesn't matter, mans would come running to school with an intimitading ass face as soon as he hears that one of his kids get into a fight or got bullied. Would scare the living shit out of the bullies. And would always stand strong and take his kids side - even if they're at fault? yes. Mans would blame it on the other children with a shameless proud sassy face.

Kids definitely get their sassiness from their dad. Ever since early age, you could pick up obvious signs of your kids doing the 'iconic K sassy walk' and the sassy faces all copy pasted from their dad. You would just laugh it off- not a single complain until these little cuties decide to use this against you in a scolding section.

"Kota! Tell me exactly why your grades are low!", an eye-roll from the boy and his sister sticking out her tongue at you, backing her brother up. These kids, learnt wayyyy too much from their dad. You'd have them kneeling on the balcony while you start your iconic asian mom lecture section and that's when your husband comes running in. This mans can be strict with ANYONE ELSE except his own kids. Would take their side even against you and would spoil them to oblivion. "Wifeyyy! It's not his fault that he can't handle all the hard homeworks.", the kids regaining the brightening lights on their faces as they stood proud behind their protective dad. Oh but don't think their little ganging-up on you would work. You're a well-trained asian mom for a good reason.

The next thing you know, K is kneeling on the floor in front of you along with the two other children who are now side-eyeing him in disappointment almost saying - "seriously dad- thought we were getting out of trouble" - "Well, since it's SOOO HARD for poor Kota, why don't YOU do HIS homework huh, Mr Koga?" And thats how now K is gripping at his hair, scratching his forehead as he tried to figure out the answers of little Kota's homeworks. Oh and the kids? Oh no you wouldn't have let them off that easily. They're kneeling beside their dad, reading out their textbooks aloud for who knows how many times.

Addicted with squishing cheeks. It just so happens that K's mini-versions have the squishiest, puffiest cheeks in the world and OMG this man just would not stop with the squishing and squeezing. 24/7 his hands are on those cheeks.

#&team #andteam #&team imagines #&team scenarios #&team x reader #&team fluff #andteam fluff #&team soft hours #andteam k #&team k #Yūka talks #₍ᐢᐢ₎ anons ⊹

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bluerose5 · 1 year

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An Easy Job

Yes, I made a fic inspired by my recent post about Hawke and Anders meeting earlier than canon. Click here for the link to read on ao3.

Rating: M

Pairing: Pre-Relationship Male Hawke/Anders

Word Count: 6,655

Content Warnings for Blood, Injury, Slavers, & Violence

Summary: Garrett's line of work sometimes required that he operated out of Darktown.

It wasn't quite how he imagined meeting the Undercity's healer, but he made the most of the encounter.

...

Garrett Hawke was told that it would be an easy job.

He was a fool to simply take Athenril's word on that, but her information usually proved to be somewhat reliable most days.

Turned out, that day wasn't one of them.

Meet their middleman, retrieve their cargo, and return to base. It was supposed to be that simple.

As soon as Garrett showed up to the spot where their meeting was arranged, he knew that something was off, and it wasn't because they were prowling around the murkiest depths of Darktown either.

No, at least that was to be expected. In their line of work, dealing with the criminal elements all over Kirkwall was a necessary evil, and that included those who operated out of Darktown as well.

Other than the fact that he was an apostate in a city overflowing with templars, the reason why Garrett was so on edge all of a sudden was because not a soul was in sight.

Cooped up in the alley together, Carver hovered at Garrett’s side, his fingers twitching for his weapon.

"I don't like this," Carver said, his brow furrowed as he surveyed their surroundings. "He's late."

"That, he is," Garrett replied. "I'm usually all about being fashionably late to parties, but you would think there would be some semblance of professionalism when it came down to business. I mean, it's everyone's coin on the line here."

Carver scoffed, his face pinched up in disgust.

"Did you expect any less from that slippery bastard? What happened anyhow?" he asked. "I thought, after that last stunt he pulled, we weren't gonna run any more jobs with good ole Slack-Jawed Pete."

"We weren't, but—"

"But things change, apparently," Carver muttered. "Without my input, of course."

Garrett glared at him.

"But," he said, continuing his previous statement, "things came up. Sapphire was our original contact, but something went down at The Blooming Rose, so he had to fill in for the night."

"Too bad," Carver griped, his arms crossed over his chest. "I bet you would have loved to see your boyfriend. Now, you have to settle for Pete's ugly mug instead."

"He's not—" Garrett grumbled in frustration. "Listen, Athenril promised a big payout for this. If things go sideways, then I…"

He trailed off when shadows fell over them.

Both he and Carver tensed, their eyes trained on the group that gathered at the end of the alley.

"'If' things go sideways?" Carver whispered under his breath.

As if to hammer home his point, he elbowed his brother in the side.

Garrett grumbled.

"Okay, when they go sideways," he corrected, watching the man at the head of the pack step forward.

"Well, well, well, what do you know?" he hummed, eyes narrowed at them with a sinister grin. "That nug-for-brains idiot was right, men. Here we have two strong, able-bodied, Fereldan men, just ripe for the taking."

"And who in the bloody Void are you?" Carver spat.

The stranger merely shrugged off his question.

"Names have no meaning for men in your position," the fellow answered. "Either you submit to what we have in mind, or you fight us and lose. Your choice."

The group started to close ranks around them. Garrett counted about ten of them altogether, but he and Carver refused to stand down.

"Well, that doesn't seem like much of a choice at all," Garrett deadpanned. "Where is my secret third option? For instance, I could tell you lot to scram, and you scamper off like a pup with its tail between its legs before this ends badly for you."

Speaking of dogs, what a perfect day for Garrett to leave Barkspawn at home with his mother and uncle.

Easy job, his ass.

At least Carver backed him up, though.

"Or," he said, "there's the option where we go ahead and kill those who stand in our way, then we go on about our day."

"Even better," Garrett agreed.

They readied their weapons, a greatsword from Carver's days of battling the Blight and a battleaxe that was passed down from Malcolm to Garrett.

The nameless leader laughed at their audacity.

"Cheeky buggers, aren't you? No matter." He shrugged. "The clients we sell to will enjoy breaking your spirit." He glanced at Garrett then, at the pointed tips of his ears peeking through his hair. "And they'll pay even more for a couple of mutts. Half-elves are a hot commodity right now."

Garrett clenched his jaw, rage threatening to boil over inside him, but he breathed through it, forced himself to harness that anger instead.

He and Carver had been shifting towards the other end of the alleyway, but several others suddenly appeared out of nowhere, as if reading their minds. They spread out and closed in, not much room left between them to slip through.

Shit, they were surrounded.

Carver spoke then, a futile attempt to buy them some time while Garrett recited an incantation under his breath.

"What quarrel do you even have with us?" Carver snarled. "Why target us? As if Fereldans don't already get kicked enough while we're down, especially 'round these parts."

Sparks of electricity hummed at Garrett’s fingertips, but he knew that he was hardly casting at full-strength. Spells oftentimes relied on the most minute details to work at their most effective states. The strength and volume with which a spell was spoken. The precise movements and positioning of one's hands and body. The pool of mana available to the mage. The very fabric of the Veil itself at any given location. All of it contributed, but Garrett didn't have the time nor the distance to unleash his full potential.

Still, he had to do something.

Luckily for them, bastards like these, especially those in charge, loved to hear themselves talk.

"Ah," their good friend Nameless tsked. "It's nothing personal, you see. It's just business."

Tension built in the air, but the group didn't question it, not yet.

The hairs on Garrett’s arm stood straight.

"Who put you up to this?" Carver retorted. "Was it Pete?"

Of course it was, but let them feed into the bastard's ego, let his crew think that they had control.

"A mutual acquaintance was offered triple what your pitiful excuse of a job could provide. Tell me, how could anyone possibly turn down such a handsome sum? Of course, that was just for him to hand your cargo over to me." Nameless smirked. "He threw in your location as a bonus."

Carver and Garrett exchanged a pointed glance.

"Great, so he sold us out to a bunch of worthless slaver trash," Carver said.

A sweltering heat started to grow around them.

Nameless snickered, spreading his arms out on display.

"Such a weighted term. I prefer to think of myself as a procurer of fine goods and services."

Garrett tasted a metallic tang on the back of his tongue. The air was thick, similar to the moments before a thunderstorm lit up the countryside with bouts of lightning.

"Call it whatever you like," Carver drawled, "but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…"

"Then, it's a duck," Garrett finished, eyeing their enemies up and down. "Although, I figure they're probably smarter than your average slaver."

In the blink of an eye, he brought up a wall of fire between the main group and themselves.

Within the same motion, Garrett turned and let that tension pull taut, snapping it without hesitation.

Those sparks from his fingers grew into large bolts of electricity.

With a single word, he unleashed the full brunt of his attack onto the few enemies blocking their escape. Unfortunately, as he predicted, the spell was nowhere near concentrated enough to down them for good, but it still gave them an advantage. One after another, their enemies seized, frozen into place.

Garrett and Carver unleashed battle cries before rushing forward.

They only had enough time to take down one person each, the flames at their back already dying down, weak enough for the rest of the slavers to join the fray.

Metal clashed, and blows were exchanged.

Outnumbered as they were, they held their own.

Until they couldn't.

Nameless faced off with Garrett the second he could reach him, his eyes wild, crazed.

His face was split open by an unhinged smile.

"You think that your buddy Pete didn't air all of your dirty laundry to us beforehand?" All pretenses were gone by then, his expression tightening with more of his crew slain from their efforts. "Even rumors sometimes hold a grain of truth to them."

He scraped the blades of his daggers along one another, then stalked forward.

Compared to the others, it was no wonder why Nameless was the leader of the group.

He was beyond skilled with his blades. Wielding them was second nature to him. He fought on a whole other level than the others. Each attack was a flurry of activity, heavily reliant on speed and dexterity to strike.

Garrett parried and blocked, but he barely had time to swing his axe around before the next onslaught started. Sweat beaded at his temple, but Nameless kept pushing forward, relentless in his pursuit of victory.

Then, he got a hit in.

His blade sliced through the skin of Garrett’s arm, barely more than a scratch, but it was enough to work its magic, so to speak.

Within seconds, Garrett’s vision blurred. The whole world spun. It tilted, and it–it wouldn't stay still.

His energy was quickly waning, mana depleted.

He shook his head, but then he lost all sense of direction. His body refused to respond to his commands.

One step alone sent him stumbling backwards.

Nameless smirked.

"What—" Garrett gasped. His stomach lurched. "What did you—"

"Have to love magebane. Expensive shit, but it gets the job done."

Disoriented and confused, none of the words were sinking in. They all went in one ear and out the other.

Garrett didn't even notice the rogue sneaking up behind him, not until it was too late.

At the sound of footsteps creeping closer, he turned in place at the last second, right as the knife sank into the flesh at his side.

He was lucky, though, considering the original target had been his spine.

With a roar of pain, Garrett balled up his fist and landed a blow to his assailant's face, hard enough to make him stagger before Garrett hit him again. This time, directly in the chest.

Winded, the poor bastard was knocked down onto his back, staring up at Garrett, wide-eyed with fear.

When he brought up his axe, the man had the audacity to plead for his life.

Unfortunately for him, those worthless pleas fell on deaf ears.

Garrett cleaved him in half, his cries cut short.

He stepped on the body to yank his axe free, but he knew that he was taking too long, the dagger still embedded in his side.

When he felt a cool breeze at his back, Garrett abandoned his weapon, turning in place as Nameless's dagger glinted in the darkness.

The blade lashed out into a vicious arc. It cut through Garrett’s cheap, leather armor, splitting open the skin of his chest.

Garrett was shoved off-balance. His knees buckled.

He clutched at his burning chest as even more poison entered his system. His muscles twitched, uncontrollable.

The metallic taste of blood pooled into his mouth.

He was burning alive from the inside-out. Desperately, he scratched at his skin, feeling as if it was melting, sloughing off away from the bones and flesh.

Red stained his lips when he coughed, collapsing onto the filthy ground, weak and cold and tired.

Nameless loomed over him with a triumphant sneer.

Garrett turned over, tried to crawl away, but all that earned him was a boot to his leg.

Nameless stomped down onto the limb with a vengeance.

It snapped under the force.

Garrett could barely cry out before he was choking on blood and bile, attempting to cough it up, all to no avail.

He caught sight of Carver, who met his eyes, cornered by three men.

Time itself seemed to slow in that single second.

Garrett’s heart raced. Each beat pounded loudly in his ears, deafening in volume.

Carver shouted out to him, but Garrett didn't hear.

All he could think was that he needed to help.

He needed to get Carver out of there.

He couldn't fail him, too. Not like how he failed Bethany.

Garrett scraped at his mana, gathered the smallest scraps that yet remained.

He focused then with Carver as his center.

In a blast of force magic, the three men surrounding him were tossed back at a blinding speed.

If the initial impact of their heads against cold, stone walls didn't kill them, the whiplash alone from such a pull would have surely snapped their necks.

Nameless dragged Garrett up by his hair.

"You ruined everything," he hissed into his ear, "and now you will pay."

The barest whisper of metal grazed along his throat, pressed in until a tiny drop of blood beaded to the surface.

His body numb and limp, Garrett closed his eyes, awaiting the final swipe of his blade.

"No!" Carver yelled.

He stormed forward, running into them so that they were all sent sprawled out onto the ground.

Their weapons slid from their grasp, but Carver was quick to recover.

He reached out and grabbed the nearest weapon, one of the slaver's daggers.

Before Nameless could get up, Carver was on him in a fury.

"You can't have him!" Carver snarled into his face, teeth bared.

The blade sank deep into his chest.

"I won't let you take my brother!"

Over and over again, he stabbed him, blinded by rage, fueled by bloodlust. A red haze clouded his vision, and he screamed out all of his pain and frustration.

Garrett struggled to breathe.

He blinked past the dizziness, reaching out for him.

"Car–Carver," he gurgled.

With a final plunge of the knife, Carver stared down at the lifeless body beneath him.

Then, he glanced up at the carnage around them.

Bloodied hands trembled, but not because of all the death.

It wasn't his first kill, after all.

But it was the first time that a job went so astronomically terrible that one of them faced near-certain death.

Between the two of them, Carver never expected to come so close to losing Garrett.

He scrambled over to him on his hands and knees. His hands hovered over his body, uncertain.

"I need to pick you up," Carver warned him.

Garrett’s head lolled to the side. He managed a single bob of his head, his eyes threatening to roll back.

With their weapons long-forgotten, Carver adjusted himself to a better position for leverage. He worked his hands carefully underneath Garrett’s body, then lifted him up into his arms.

"Fuck!"

His blood was instantly lit aflame. Garrett cried out as white-hot pain lashed out within him. He panted out between clenched teeth, his chest heaving with every breath. Blood and spit sprayed from his mouth, dripping down his chin.

Carver adjusted his grip, careful not to nudge the dagger wedged into Garrett's side.

"Hang on, big brother," he told him, his tone forceful yet desperate. "I—"

An idea hit him then.

"The healer!" he exclaimed.

He set out without delay, his stride long and purposeful. Garrett groaned as he was jostled within his grasp.

"Wha—"

"Remember what Lirene mentioned the other day? The Fereldans in the refugee camps? There's a healer in Darktown! What did they say? What did they say?" he muttered to himself. Outside of the alley, he glanced around for help, but people turned away at the first sign of trouble. "Shit, shit, shit."

Garrett wheezed out, "The–The lantern."

Realization dawned on him.

Lirene's words came rushing back to him in a snap.

"'To find the healer,'" Carver repeated, "'look for the lit lantern.'"

He hurried in search for it, refusing to fall victim to anyone else looking for easy prey.

However, when all seemed lost, Carver found it.

The last thing that Anders expected that evening was for someone to come barreling through the clinic doors.

He had a few patients still there when it happened. A struggling mother-to-be whose pregnancy was taking its toll, a young lad who was fighting a rather nasty illness that spread to his lungs, and an elderly gentleman whose constant aches and pains exacerbated to the point that it gave him the fits.

Anders had been tending to the bedridden mother when a tall, bulky man all but crashed through his doors.

Caught off guard by the sudden intrusion, his skin flashed bright with light, there and gone in the blink of an eye.

Anders instinctively placed himself between the man and his patient, but that was when he noticed the person cradled in the stranger's arms.

"Help!" Carver croaked. Searching the room, his gaze soon landed on Anders, making a beeline for Darktown's renowned healer. "Help us, please!"

As they neared, Anders took one look at them, covered in blood and clad in armor, and started to shake his head.

"Oh, no, no, no," he snapped, barging right up to them to try and shove them out. "You lot should know by now, I don't want any trouble with the local gangs. Keep your turf wars out of my clinic and away from my patients!"

"Look!" Carver retorted. "We don't want any trouble. I just want him healed. What would you take in exchange, hm? Protection? We can provide that in exchange for your services."

"Because you two did a fine job of protecting yourselves," Anders deadpanned.

"We were ambushed!"

"Listen, I don't need your protection, nor do I want it."

"Please!" Carver insisted. "He's my brother." His eyes glazed over with unshed tears. He stared down at Garrett, lower lip wobbling. "I—" His voice cracked. "I can't lose him, too."

Garrett stared up at him, then glanced over at Anders.

Anders instantly met his eyes and held his head up high, curious about what he would say.

After a moment of contemplation, Garrett turned to Carver again and whispered hoarsely.

"Let's go."

"What?!" Carver hissed. "Garrett, by the time we find another healer—"

"We can't draw attention to this place or these people," Garrett countered, surprisingly lucid for the moment. "We'd have even bigger problems to worry about if we bring the templars down on us all." Jaw clenched, he repeated himself, firmly so. "Let's go."

He shuddered, curling in on himself in an attempt to keep warm.

His skin, once a warm shade of brown, paled in comparison.

He broke out into a cold sweat.

Watching him closely, Anders pursed his lips.

Against his better judgment, he relented.

"Come with me," he ordered. When Carver didn't immediately follow, he turned to them with a curt look. "Now. If he has any chance of surviving, he needs to be treated, and soon."

His words spurred Carver into action, following close at his heel.

"Set him down there," Anders said, waving towards an empty bed. "Carefully, mind you."

Once Garrett was laid out atop the cot, Anders hovered his hands over him, surveying the damage.

His brow furrowed in confusion.

"There's something else here beyond the more obvious wounds," Anders noted, swallowing thickly. "A poison in his blood." He glanced between them. "Do you know what it is?"

When they remained silent, he scowled.

"Listen to me, if I don't know what I'm dealing with here, then I don't know how to treat it, especially if I have the means to craft an antidote," Anders stated. "Your other injuries won't mean much if a large enough dose of that poison got into your system already. Your heart might have already been damaged, for all we know. Help me, so that I can help you."

Garrett and Carver exchanged a wary look, then Garrett nodded in acquiescence.

"It was—" He sucked in a sharp breath, his body’s injuries catching up to him yet again. "It was magebane."

This time, when his eyes rolled back, Garrett promptly passed out.

Anders gaped, but he didn't have time to think.

He needed to act.

"You." He pointed to Carver. "Close the clinic doors and lock them. Come back, and I'll walk you through how to make the potion we need while I try to stabilize his wounds."

It took him a second to process the orders he was given, but he quickly nodded, prying himself away from Garrett's side to do as he was told.

Anders took a deep breath to steady himself.

Right.

He knew what to do. It was all a matter of execution from there.

First things first, he had to stop as much bleeding as possible, which meant taking advantage of Garrett’s unconscious state for the time being, mostly to minimize any pain or struggling. Anders quickly healed the deep gash across his chest, flesh and muscle knitting itself back into place before his very eyes.

From there, Anders turned his attention to his broken leg. A piece of bone protruded from the skin, but Anders has seen worse.

He had treated worse.

He stopped to down a lyrium potion, tossing the flask aside as he returned to Garrett’s side, his mana rejuvenated.

He knew from experience that mending bone was a huge drain.

Taking the broken limb in hand, he harnessed Justice's power for a split second, his otherworldly strength giving the boost that was needed to set the bone properly back into place.

Magic poured from his fingertips. Slowly but surely, the limb began to repair itself under Anders' guidance.

Carver returned to his side, but Anders didn't dare look away from his work, brow furrowed in concentration.

"Okay," Anders told him. "Follow my instructions exactly as I say."

While he continued to cast his spell, Carver ran around his potion-making station as he directed, mixing various ingredients together, grinding them into dust or paste using his mortar and pestle. Some of the herbs were unfamiliar to Carver, but others were common enough to recognize at first glance.

For the most part, the recipe called for equal parts embrium and elfroot with a dash of Prophet's Laurel for that little something extra.

When Anders finally moved on to the dagger in Garrett's side, he knew that he had to be quick yet precise.

Once he removed the blade, he started to heal Garrett's wounds from the inside, gradually working his way out. Jagged edges slid closed until only scars remained.

"Mix what you have with one of my lyrium potions," Anders said to Carver. "Take it slow. This is the last step, but the lyrium is supposed to act as a catalyst of sorts. If you rush the process, it might just ruin the whole thing. Stir the concoction until it is evenly mixed through."

After Carver finished, he brought the flask to Anders.

With a whispered spell or two, Anders' palms heated up, brought the liquid to a boil, and then cooled it back down to room temperature.

Swirling it around in slow, even circles, he reached out to cup the back of Garrett’s head.

Garrett stirred at his touch. His eyes opened only a sliver, struggling to focus before they locked onto Anders.

"The magebane is still in your system," Anders explained to him. "I won't be able to get it out with my spells alone. It's resistant to magic. Do you understand?"

Had he not been looking for it, Anders would have missed it.

There was a small nod of his head, barely there, but Garrett managed one nonetheless.

Anders took a deep, bracing breath.

"I need you to drink this potion. It should act as a counteragent to clear your blood," Anders continued, "but it won't be pleasant."

“Heh.” Garrett spared him a ghost of a smile, the corner of his lips twitching in amusement. “About as ‘pleasant’ as getting stabbed then?”

Anders raised an eyebrow at him.

“Something like that.”

Incredible. Even in his current state, barely able to draw breath, he wasted what precious few he had to crack a joke.

Part of Anders could respect it, at least.

“Here,” he said. “Help me sit him up.”

With Carver’s help, they were able to support his weight and better angle him. That way, he hopefully wouldn’t choke.

Anders pressed the flask to Garrett’s lips, slowly tilting it back.

“Drink,” he encouraged.

Difficult as it was to do so, Garrett obeyed, swallowing the first drops that slipped past his lips, followed by the next.

The taste definitely left much to be desired, but he focused on Anders instead.

Who was this selfless man, hiding out in Kirkwall’s Undercity?

Breathing through his nose, he choked down all of the potion, down to the very last drop.

Once he finished, they set him back down onto the cot, but the antidote was already kicking in by then.

If the magebane felt like fire in his veins, then the antidote felt as if his entire body was being burned alive.

Garrett’s back bowed off of the bed. He clawed at his throat, his mouth agape as a silent scream tried to break free.

His heart crashed against his ribcage, threatening to burst free.

For a split second, he collapsed, but that didn’t last long before Garrett started to writhe in full-blown agony, begging for someone to make it stop, make it stop, make it stop…

The torches in the clinic blazed in response.

Spikes of ice erupted from the ground around the cot.

Both Anders and Carver just barely managed to escape its reach.

“Maker’s breath,” Anders gasped.

Quickly, he dispelled Garrett’s magic with his own, holding the spell long enough to retrieve one of those herbaceous powders that Carver whipped up.

“Restrain him,” Anders barked out. “Before he hurts himself or anyone else!”

Carver rushed forward to do so, pinning his brother in place while he screeched, bucking against his hold.

“If you’re going to do something,” Carver snapped, “then do it now!”

Anders didn’t have to be told twice.

Dipping his fingers into the powder, he closed the distance to draw a sigil upon Garrett’s forehead, all while reciting the incantation for another spell.

After it was placed, Anders pressed his palm to Garrett’s forehead and hissed the final word, filled with intent and purpose.

It was a matter of the mind then; but in Garrett’s condition, it took little for Anders to overpower him, his focus and willpower dedicated solely to casting the spell.

The sigil lit up beneath his palm, and Garrett’s eyes slid closed.

He fell limp, unconscious once more.

Carver looked between the two, cautious of their power.

“What did you do?”

“I cast a spell to help him sleep off the effects of the antidote,” Anders answered. “Hopefully, now, he won’t feel a thing.”

After that, healing the rest of his injuries was simple, as easy as breathing.

While he worked, Anders did his best to assure him.

"You should go home and rest," he said. "I'll send word if anything happens, Serah…?"

He trailed off in question.

Carver pursed his lips, but he figured that he earned his name at least.

"Hawke," he introduced. "My name is Carver Hawke, and that man that you saved?" He nodded towards his brother. "His name is Garrett."

“I wish we had met under better circumstances then, but I am Anders.”

“Not your real name, I take it?” Carver asked.

Anders flashed him a secretive smile.

“It is now.”

“Right…” Carver sighed with a shake of his head, running his fingers through his hair, only to wrinkle his nose when he remembered the blood on his hands. “I do need to go get cleaned up. And I should really try to retrieve our weapons, if no one else got to them first.”

“Go do what you have to. I’ll need to watch over your brother anyways to monitor his condition. He’ll be safe here,” Anders promised.

If nothing else, Anders was sure of that.

“He better be,” Carver warned. He weighed his options for a moment, then agreed, albeit reluctantly. “I’ll be back.”

“Yeah, I’m counting on it,” Anders grumbled.

After Carver left, Anders locked the clinic up behind him. He rounded on all of his other patients, setting them at ease, before he eventually returned to Garrett’s side.

With a wet cloth in hand, he knelt near him, carefully washing the blood from his face.

He chose to ignore how his heart skipped a beat.

Dark brown curls clung to clammy skin.

Against his better judgment, Anders reached out and brushed the strands out of his eyes.

Even asleep as he was, Anders could recall with perfect clarity how it felt to be on the receiving end of his stare.

Part of him was curious, wanting to trace the tattoos that framed his face, or perhaps the swipe of red painted across his nose.

Before he could act on such impulses, he reined himself in, withdrawing his touch as he scolded himself.

Such actions, let alone such thoughts, were hardly appropriate.

Anders busied himself with cleaning the clinic, taking stock of his supplies, but that only kept him busy for so long.

Before he knew it, he was back at Garrett’s side. He had dragged a chair up next to his cot, watching over him with a fine mixture of curiosity and fascination.

“Garrett Hawke, huh?” Anders murmured. He crossed his arms over his chest, his head cocked to the side. After a moment, he groaned, dragging his hands down over his face. “Andraste have mercy, Anders, what did you get yourself into?”

Not that he was going to receive an answer any time soon.

By the time Garrett awakened, night had turned to morning, dusk to dawn. What little sunlight there was streamed into the clinic. All other patients were gone.

An old, worn-out blanket had been draped over him some time during the night. Someone had apparently bathed him, his skin free of blood, tattered armor switched out with casual attire.

Given that he recognized the clothing, his bets were on Carver cleaning him.

Great. He’ll never let Garrett live that one down.

Garrett peeked an eye open, then the other, reaching up to rub the sleep from his eyes with a loud yawn.

He smacked his lips, his mouth dry yet thick, as if stuffed full of cotton.

Garrett turned over, only to catch sight of his savior, fast asleep in a nearby chair.

He tried to sit up, but a sore ache surged through his body, his muscles tense.

His head spun. A subtle throb radiated at his temples, slowly building.

Burying his face into his hands, Garrett groaned.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Carver soothed, instantly at his side, opposite of Anders. “Take it easy. You’ve been through a lot.”

“Yeah?” Garrett grunted. “Well, you should see the other guy.”

“You mean the one that I killed?”

“Exactly.”

Carver snorted, but he couldn’t hide his relief.

“You ass.” After a moment, he clenched his jaw, his eyes lit aflame with a poorly-concealed rage. He leaned in close to whisper to Garrett. “As soon as you’re ready, we need to discuss our next move.” He tossed a glance at Anders, glad to find him still fast asleep. “In private, preferably.”

“Yeah,” Garrett muttered. “No arguments there.”

The issue was, Athenril had grown bold, arrogant even, in the year since they joined. Because they worked at a higher efficiency than her usual hires, she treated them as if they were invincible, able to take on anything and everything she threw at them, no questions asked.

This wasn’t the first time she made a bad call on their part, but it was the first time they paid such a high price because of her carelessness. As a matter of fact, this was only the latest in a rather long string of other bad calls, but no more. Garrett had only joined up with her over Meeran to establish connections where it actually mattered, rather than to do the dirty jobs for a bunch of washed-up nobles with a grudge.

By that point, he and Carver had repaid their debt in full, and then some.

All things considered, they established themselves well enough. It was probably better to cut ties with Athenril as soon as they could before she got one of them killed.

Garrett might have already been looking into other, much bigger offers circulating around Kirkwall.

Then, there was the matter of Slack-Jawed Pete.

Seems like they needed to pay him a visit.

But that could wait until later.

For all they knew, he had gone to ground already, but that bastard never left Kirkwall for too long.

He always came crawling back for more.

Besides, Garrett had more pressing concerns to attend to.

“What did you tell Mother?” he asked. “About why I didn’t come home?”

Pressing his fingers to his temple, he cast a small healing spell to calm his headache.

Carver smiled sheepishly, which prompted Garrett to narrow his eyes at him in suspicion.

“I might have told her that you spent the night at Sapphire’s place,” Carver said, unable to keep his laugh at bay.

“Seriously, Carver?” Garrett huffed. “You know she wouldn’t approve of that.”

“Exactly why I said it.”

“Who’s Sapphire?”

Both Garrett and Carver jumped at the sudden question, startled by the sound of Anders’ voice.

He frowned at them, stretching out his long limbs before popping his back. A quiet groan of relief slipped free when the stiffness unraveled.

“That your girlfriend or something?”

“Ha!” Carver snickered. “That’s funny. As if dearest big brother would have a girlfriend.”

Garrett rolled his eyes at him.

“Don’t mind Carver. What he meant to say is that Sapphire is a fine man, but he is not my boyfriend or anything of the sort.”

“Try telling him that,” Carver joked.

“He has a crush, and that is all,” Garrett said, “not me.”

“Well, at least he has good taste,” Anders said, shocking both Garrett and himself with the comment. “I mean, uh—”

He hopped to his feet, nearly knocking his chair over in the process, but he managed to catch it before it crashed to the floor.

“You must be thirsty!” he shouted, then forced his voice back to an even tone. “You should stay hydrated. I’ll get you some water.”

Righting his chair, he scrambled to fetch the pitcher that he filled earlier while Garrett was sleeping. His hand trembled a little as he poured, but Anders paid it no mind, passing the cup along to Garrett once he returned.

Their fingers brushed as he handed it to him.

Their eyes locked, and Anders felt his breath leave him, all at once.

Garrett flashed him a charming smile.

“Thank you,” he said, “for everything.”

“Oh, it’s no problem.” Anders brushed some stray strands of hair back behind his ears, his cheeks warming with the beginnings of a blush. “Really.” He shrugged. “Helping people is sort of what I do.”

Carver stared at them, unimpressed.

“And what am I?” he asked. “Chopped liver?”

Neither one of them answered, if they even heard him in the first place.

“So, you’re an apostate,” Anders noted. Not a question, but a statement.

To distract himself from all the thoughts running rampant in his mind, he left them at the cot to start preparing his poultices for the day.

Not that Garrett was deterred in the slightest. He quickly downed his drink and followed after him like a lost puppy, walking with a slight limp.

“As are you.”

Carver rolled his eyes.

“‘Thanks for dragging my ass to the healer while I was on the verge of death, little brother. You really came through for me,’” Carver said to himself, mimicking the cadence of Garrett’s voice. “‘No problem, Garrett. That’s what family’s for.’” Shaking his head, Carver got to his feet and called out to them. “I’m gonna go wait outside until you two are done doing whatever it is that you’re doing. Remember, Garrett, we have to discuss business today if you’re up to it. Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

This time, he at least got Garrett to acknowledge him.

With a nod, he told him, “I’ll be out shortly.”

Once Carver was gone, Garrett returned his full attention to Anders.

“You know what, I don’t think I caught your name,” he said, offering his hand out to him. “Clearly, as my brother so helpfully pointed out, I’m Garrett.”

Anders stopped what he was doing.

After a moment, he took Garrett’s hand with a firm shake.

“Anders,” he introduced.

Their touch lingered, causing Garrett to chuckle.

“Is this the part where I try to be smooth and kiss the back of your hand?”

Anders laughed.

“Maybe next time.”

“‘Next time,’ huh?” Garrett nodded, eyeing Anders up and down with a grin. “I can work with that.”

“I’m sure you could,” Anders replied, both of them releasing their hold on one another.

“Although, I do have to say,” Garrett hummed, “usually I don’t stay the first night after meeting a guy, let alone without knowing his name.”

“Does that mean I should feel honored that you stayed?” Anders asked, amused by his antics.

“If anyone should feel honored, it would be me,” Garrett said. “In all seriousness, though, I want you to know that you have nothing to fear from me. We have a common enemy in the templars, after all. Plus, I owe you a great debt.”

“You owe me nothing.”

“Not how I see it, but I will repay you, however I can.” He nudged him softly in the side. “We could offer protection for your clinic.”

“Actually, I think I have that covered,” Anders said, his tone dismissive.

“I heard my brother offer the deal in exchange for your help,” Garrett explained. “That’s not something I take lightly. I intend to uphold our end of the bargain.”

Anders shook his head at him in disbelief.

“I don’t have any coin to offer you.”

“Good thing that I didn’t ask for coin then.” When he could sense Anders’ resolve falter, he tried addressing the matter from a different angle. “What if I come back tonight? You get to check on how I’m doing, and I get to give you a taste of how I operate. If you’re not satisfied with my service, then I’ll leave the clinic’s security to you, no questions asked.”

“Uh-huh…”

Trailing off, Anders chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking it over. He really shouldn’t let him get too close. Knowing that he was an apostate was one thing, but if Garrett found out about Justice, there was no telling how he would react.

“How do I—” Anders scoffed under his breath. “How do I know this isn’t some elaborate plan to try and get closer to me?”

“Well, it kind of is,” Garrett admitted, as shameless as can be.

“At least you’re honest,” Anders sighed, “but what if I told you that getting close to me is a bad idea?”

Garrett stared at him, unafraid.

His expression gentled, his body shifting closer to him so that their words were kept between them.

“Then, I would say, let me decide if the risk is worth it.” When Anders didn’t immediately respond, Garrett fidgeted nervously. “So… I’ll see you tonight?”

That hopeful tone of his was enough to make Anders’ willpower crumble to dust.

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

The words were worth it, simply to watch his face light up in response.

Garrett beamed at him with a joy so contagious that not even Anders could resist.

“You take care,” Garrett said.

On his way out the clinic, Anders waited until he was out of sight before whispering, “You, too.”

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #garrett hawke #male hawke #carver hawke #anders #handers #bluerose writes

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rebelwrites · 3 years

Text

Waking Up In Vegas || Part Twelve (Final)

Slightly NSFW

Jax Teller x Reader

Summary: Jax and Y/N had always been close, they were each other’s partners in crime, the light in the dark and the shelter from the storm. Both just coming out of messy divorces and being each other’s life line. So what happens when Jax springs a last minute trip on Y/N? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, well that’s what they thought.

Waking Up In Vegas Masterlist

This Months Writing

A/N || I just want to say thank you for all the love that I’ve been given over this series! Normally by this part interaction has dropped off the face of the earth but not with this one 🖤 thank you to every single person that has read, liked, commented and reblogged. And also a massive thank you to my second brain @withmyteeth 🖤 this wouldn’t be what it is without you

Two words.

That’s all it took to make you freeze up, trying to decide if your brain was playing tricks on you. Did he really just ask you to marry him? While inside you?

Jax started to panic as he played with your fingers, your silence killing him. It was making him start to regret the words that came out of his mouth, but when he tried to pull out of you, you locked your legs around his hips.

Squeezing your eyes closed, you let your brain catch up with what just happened, the feeling of Jax playing with your fingers keeping you grounded. He kept playing with the cheap plastic ring that sat on your ring finger, waiting patiently for your answer. He wasn’t going to push you, not with a question that held this much weight.

“Jax,” you breathed, opening your eyes to be met by his blue ones shining bright. “Are you being serious? Like this isn’t a joke?”

“Deadly serious, Babygirl,” he smiled, as he continued to play with your fingers. “Let’s get married here, tonight, tomorrow, this week, as long as it’s before we leave,” he said between the kisses he placed against your knuckles, looking up at you through his lashes. “Just the two of us, nobody else,”

“Here?”

“What better place than Vegas?” he hummed, brushing his nose against yours. “So what do you say, Babygirl? I know I am broken, probably not the best man in the world but as I said, I don’t want anyone else. I have let you slip through my fingers before and I sure as hell do not want you to see you in the arms of another man. So wanna be my wife, for real this time?”

Tears started to cloud your vision as he spoke, your heart screaming. Everything had happened so fast over the past twenty four hours. But you couldn’t deny that feelings hadn’t been bubbling away under the surface for years. All you needed to do was look into his eyes and you knew every word he spoke was true. He had been by your side for years, he was your rock throughout the divorce proceedings. Brushing your fingers against his cheek you took a deep breath.

“Yes.”

His breath caught. You’d said yes, but he couldn’t believe it just yet. “Last chance to back out if you want to, Darlin’,” he smirked, with a playful look in his eyes, “Because once I make you my wife that's it there isn’t any going back. No refunds.”

A small giggle escaped your lip. “Well, I mean, I don’t get any refunds on the friendship so I don’t really have anything to lose.”

“But you have everything to gain,” He winked, moving his hips as you felt him start to harden inside you again. It was such a Jax thing to say, you couldn’t help but laugh.

That was the sound he loved, he would do anything to hear you laugh. This was the happiest he had been in years, buried in you while you were laughing. He really didn’t know what your answer would be, but now you have said yes his heart was overflowing. He knew in this moment that this was where his life was guiding him, the universe waiting until the time was right to show him what was right in front of him. And he wasn’t going to let you go any time soon. “I’ve got an idea,” he grinned, pinning your arms above your head as he started thrusting slowly.

“If it will lead to us getting arrested then, nope, not doing it,” you smirked. If he kept this up though, you would agree to whatever came out of his mouth next.

“One time, I got us arrested and you never let me live it down,” he hummed, shaking his head realising that you were never going to let him forget the evening you spent in the small cell. He found it amusing but you didn’t and were so close to killing him by morning when Gemma came to bail you out. Pushing the memory down he placed a gentle kiss on your nose. “But what I was going to say is the night is still young, so what do you say to us going for a walk?”

“You want to go on a walk?” you moaned softly at the feel of him thrusting slowly, managing to raise a brow at him in the process. Glancing over you hit the screen of your phone seeing the time. “At eleven pm?”

“Yeah why not?” he shrugged, “I mean we haven’t actually experienced the buzz of the strip,” he paused, thinking for a second. “Well, not sober anyway.”

Biting down on your bottom lip, you looked up at him through your lashes, pushing some of the hair that had fallen off his face, gently grazing your fingers over his cheek. “Fuck it, lets do it,” you whispered. “Can’t believe you have managed to convince me, the laziest person on the planet, to go on a walk” you giggled.

“What can I say, Darlin’, you have never had the Teller dick before,” he winked, letting his hand drop down to your hip, his fingers digging into your skin. He started thrusting with purpose now so you started moving as well, meeting his urgency.

Your second orgasms came quicker, you both panting as you caught your breath. Jax recovered first rolling out of you and off the bed, he strolled across the room grabbing his phone on his way. You couldn’t help but stare at his perfect ass, biting your bottom lip at the sight. “I can feel you staring at my ass, and you call me a pervert. Babygirl, you are just as bad as I am.”

“Is it a crime to stare at my fiance's ass now?” You grinned as you said the word. God, it felt so right calling him that, and in a few days you would be calling him your husband.

Jax’s heart skipped a beat and his stomach flipped as you called him your fiance. He had no idea the effect one word could have on him, he couldn’t be happier. This trip had turned into so much more than getting blackout drunk. It was a real eye opener to him making him realise that he was completely and utterly blind to the effect you had on him. Nothing would be able to wipe the smile off his face right now.

He had already said that he would never get married again, especially after the trainwreck of a marriage it was with Tara. But once again, you changed everything about that, you were the light in his dark world and now would be until the end of time. With you by his side, he knew he would overcome anything this life threw at him.

As you stood on the balcony, wearing nothing but Jax’s button up shirt from dinner, watching the lights of the city below you, letting your thoughts drift to the events of this week. Never in a million years would you have thought it would end with you and Jax getting married. Chuckling to yourself you remembered the words you told Jax in the lift on the first night here. You told him you couldn’t think of anything worse than you two being married and if you left Vegas with you being properly married you would kill him. Oh how things had changed. Now you couldn’t think of anything better than being Jackson Teller’s wife and old lady.

Watching the smoke from your cigarette dance around in the slight breeze that was in the air, it fully hit you that by the end of the week you would be married once again.

You really didn’t think you would get married again, not after the heartbreak and pain that the last one caused, but the universe worked in mysterious ways. You felt the tears starting to bubble up from all of the emotions that you were barely containing. As if on cue, that was when you felt Jax’s arms snake around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. The two of you stood there in a calming silence for a couple of moments.

“You good, baby?” he asked, kissing your cheek.

“Never been better, Teller,” you whispered, leaning back into him. “We gonna head out soon then?”

“As long as you don’t take an age to get ready ” He humed, a playful tone coating his voice as he nipped at your ear.

“What did I do to deserve someone like you,” You whispered, squeezing his hand.

“Apparently be friends for years, go through a messy divorce and end up taking a trip to Vegas,” he laughed, guiding you back inside.

“You think you are funny don’t you?”

“Absolutely hilarious, babe,” he smirked.

The moment you walked back into the bedroom, your eyes filled with tears once again. Damn emotions. It was like someone kept turning the tap on, but at least they were happy tears unlike a lot of the ones that you shed over the past couple of years. Using the sleeve of Jax’s button down to dry your eyes, you spun around so you were facing him. Immediately, he was pulling you into a tight embrace. No words were said as you stood there wrapped in each other's arms for a moment, letting the reality of tonight sink in. Even though you knew it would take a while for this to truly sink in.

“That’s a good look on you.” he hummed, pulling away from you a fraction. His arms still wrapped around you, preventing you from going anywhere. Not that you wanted to be anywhere else right now.

You can’t help the small smile as you roll your tearful eyes. “You’ve seen me in your shirts before, you know.”

“Not the shirt,” he said, taking a step closer. “Being my wife.”

“Jax,” you breathed, the tears welling in your eyes again, “Are we crazy?” you said with a shaky laugh.

“Can I answer that later?” He chuckled as he stood in front of you, pulling at the sides of the shirt, revealing your body to him. His hands went up to your shoulders and slowly pushed the material off, letting it fall on a heap on the floor, leaving you standing there naked. His hands ran down your body until he settled on your hips pulling you as close to him as physically possible. “God, I fucking love you,” he whispered, “I know I was blind to my feelings before but it’s like I have just been hit by a fucking wave. You know I don’t care for all the fate bullshit, I am my own man, but I really do think this is fate. The divorces, this trip, everything. It was all leading us to this moment.”

“Aww, is my bad boy biker turning to mush on me?” you giggled, kissing him softly.

“Only for you, Darlin’,” he hummed, playfully slapping your ass, causing you to squeal at the unexpectedness and from the sting and the coldness that his rings provided. “Now get that perfect ass moving because if you take to much longer I am pinning you against that wall,”

“Is that a promise?” you giggled, fluttering your lashes at him, “I mean, you still could after we have been for a walk.”

“Just get your ass moving, you little devil,” he chuckled, shaking his head at your sudden naughtiness, knowing that when the time came you would give him a run for his money in the bedroom and he couldn’t wait. Maybe he could coax your naughty side out at the cabin, spending the day doing nothing but fucking.

It felt so good to not be faking with Jax any more, the feeling of his large hand linked with yours was like they were meant to fit together. The only thing you regretted was not doing this sooner, letting you both go through the heartbreak you had over the past however many years. You found yourself fiddling with the coin machine ring as you walked down the street hand in hand.

Jax noticed you fiddling with the ring, an instant wave of guilt washed over him as he realised that everything about the proposal was backwards. No ring and during sex. Shaking his head he wasn’t going to dissect how he proposed because it really didn’t matter. Neither of you were traditional anyway and never normally stuck to the social norms. But he did want you to have an engagement ring.

Looking around the strip he spotted the bright lights from the twenty four hour jewelers down the street, the open sign flickering signaling he was in luck, making him smirk. He didn’t care if it cost the earth, you deserved it. “So how do you feel about picking your own engagement ring out?” he hummed, kissing the top of your head making you giggle.

“I do not need an engagement ring,” you purred, placing your hand on his chest.

“Do not even try to argue with me on this one,” he smirked, placing his hand on top of yours. “You are getting one and that's final.”

Rolling your eyes, the annoying demanding Teller was out to play tonight it seemed. You knew better than to stand here arguing with him, you never won. “Fine,” you pouted, “But do not be spending stupid money on it.”

“My money, Babygirl,” he smirked, catching your lips in a gentle and more tamer kiss. “So I will spend however much I see fit.”

Jax practically dragged you into the small shop, the lights were bright from the moment you stepped inside. It had been a while since you had seen him this excited so you were going along with whatever he wanted to do, and if that was picking out a ring for you then who were you to spoil his fun.

You had no idea where to start as you looked into one of the cabinets, there were just too many rings to pick from. A good ninety percent of them were practically a rock and were just far too big for your liking. You weren't the type of person to show off, well apart from when it came down to your car but that was completely different. But all the rings in this case just weren't you, nothing was screaming out at you.

That's when the black stone caught your eye from the next cabinet making you stop looking at the tacky rocks to go and investigate. Jax spotted the ring the moment he walked in the store and secretly pulled the assistant aside to remove the price from the cabinet. He knew you would freak out if you saw the price, and he didn’t want you not giving it a fair chance because of the figure that was next to it. The moment he saw the ring he knew it would be the one that would be sitting on your finger.

“You spotted one you like, Babygirl?” he hummed, wrapping his arms around your waist resting his head on your shoulder. Knowing full well you had spotted the black stone. He saw how your eyes lit up the moment you spotted it.

“I think so,” you whispered, reaching out pointing at the black stone surrounded by smaller diamonds. You never thought this would be the one that gained all of your attention, but something about this ring screamed out at you.

The moment you tried it on, it was like it was meant to be. From what the assistant had told you, it only came in this morning, only receiving one, in one size. Looking down at your hand with a teary smile as it fitted perfectly on your finger.

“This is the one,”

Whilst you were in the jewlers you figured it would be the perfect time to pick out the wedding bands. You kept yours simple and plain not wanting to take away from the beauty that was your engagement ring. But Jax strayed away from the plain ones, especially when the assistant brought out a ring that was similar to your engagement ring. It was like a match made in heaven. The large black stone sitting proudly against the silver band. It just screamed Jax and he knew this would be the ring for him. Once again it was like fate was guiding him on this night.

As much as you tried to pester Jax to tell you how much it cost, he wasn’t budging. So you let it slide knowing you were never going to get it out of him.

It felt so good to remove the cheap plastic coin machine ring, even though you had decided to keep it for memories sake. The feeling of your new ring on your finger felt amazing, and the way it kept catching the lights from the strip made it sparkle so bright. To the point you found yourself running your fingers over it, you couldn’t stop looking at it.

Jax had a permanent smile on his face, watching how you kept glancing at your ring. He knew you put up a fight to have one but he knew you better than you knew yourself so if you didn’t get one you would have been annoyed. Even if you didn’t show it.

He had another trick up his sleeve, which was the whole reason for the walk. You could see the Bellagio fountains from the room, and he knew he wanted to venture out to see their beauty close up. But now, this was the perfect setting for what he wanted to do. He was proud of himself as he managed to sneak the portable speaker into the small bag you brought out with you.

It was only a short walk to the fountains, but his heart was racing and pounding against his rib cage, he wasn’t sure how you were going to react to this very public display of affection. It was going to go one of two ways, you would either love it or would end up punching him in the face. So nervous was an understatement right now.

Gently he pulled you to a stop as you came to the fountains, whipping his phone out to take a few selfies of the two of you. “So beautiful,” he hummed, lifting your hand up to his lips as he pressed delicate kisses against your skin. “And I’m not talking about the fountains either,” he smirked, knowing your cheeks would be burning up from the comment. “Dance with me?”

“There is no music, and we are in the middle of a busy place Jax,” you whispered, not one for huge, very public displays of affection.

“I may have planned something,” he smirked, brushing his thumb over your skin. “Look in the bag, Babygirl.”

Raising your eyebrow at him, you quickly opened your bag to find your portable speaker sitting in the top of your purse. “What are you up to Mr.?” you asked, pulling the black object out of your bag and handing it to him. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, watching his every move. It was like time was in slow motion right now.

It took him a moment but he finally found the power button, before placing the speaker on the ground a couple of steps away from the pair of you. Looking down at his phone he scrolled through the playlist he had made, not stopping until he found the song he was looking for before hitting play.

You had gathered a small crowd around you at this point, you wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you up right now. But Jax had planned something so you sucked it up and only focused on the man in front of you that had the cheesiest grin you had ever seen on his face.

But I don't want to have to ask permission. Give me a chance. It won't be perfect, just an unbroken promise from. An imperfect man

He gently took your hand in his, pulling you close, kissing your knuckles just below your ring. His eyes shone bright with love, the lighting from the fountains flickering in the blue. Resting your head against his shoulder as the two of you swayed to music. Not caring that you had people crowding around you, all that mattered was the man that was holding you in his arms.

Your heart sank slightly as Jax softly sung the song in your ear, your mind playing back what he said earlier. Did he really see himself as broken and not perfect? You were far from perfect yourself, and you definitely weren't whole. You wanted to badly say something but decided this wasn’t the moment.

An unbroken promise from this broken man. To love you the best that I can. Baby, please. Take off your coat. And I'll turn up the lights

Jax rested his head on top of yours, holding you tight in his arms. When he first heard this song he nearly burst into tears and he knew it would be perfect for a moment like this. He was never good with words and always ended up saying the wrong thing. But this song spoke to his heart in ways no other songs had. It was a song that summed up everything he wanted to say.

He knew the road ahead would not be an easy one, especially with getting married in Vegas. Gemma would be pissed, but he knew he would be able to make his mom see sense. The other issue was your exes, he had no idea how either of them would react. Then came the risk of the club, having someone tied to him was a risky game but he would go to the ends of the earth to protect you.

But he promised he would never stop loving you and would always be by your side through the rain or shine. And whatever this life threw at you, you would face it together as a team.

With tears in his eyes, he spun you around, watching the smile on your face melt his heart. He had no idea this was how this trip would have ended up but he wasn’t going to change a single part of it. Today was the start of a new and happier chapter for the both of you. Making sure he had eye contact with you, you saw the tears that were threatening to spill over his lash line as he sang along with the final words of the song.

“Cause baby I've made plans, to stay the rest of my life”

@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @jomariekirby @i-love-scott-mccall @pascal-reyes @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @corrigan-eko @stephv213 @krswrites @sassymoxley @sixshooter665 @thexhostess @innerpaperexpertcloud @mgkobsessed @stillbreathin

#waking up in vegas #Jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy imagine

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lipstickstainz · 3 years

Text

true lies - s. r. (1/15)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: Spencer and you have your first encounter, after you left him a year ago. Spoiler: it doesn’t go well.

Warnings: angst, secrets, swearing I think, typical criminal minds stuff

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: tadaaaaa. it’s finally here! my first series! tell me if you liked it! love you! gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

The first thing you notice is the complete silence that takes over the room. The last time you had been here, it had been crowded and so noisy that you could hardly understand your own words. People had been everywhere, talking or exchanging theories, but your gaze was fixed on the desk overflowing with books. Now there are only files, carefully sorted and stacked on top of each other.The office is empty, no agents, no witnesses. No one. You take a deep breath.

It's been some time since you've been here. Almost a year, but everything in this building is all too familiar to you. The coffee maker just waiting to be used in the kitchen. The law books gathering dust on a shelf. It feels like you've never been away.

"Y/N," a woman's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You have to tear your gaze away from the desk in front of you, and your eyes find a tired, yet incredibly good-looking Emily Prentiss standing outside her office door, smiling at you like you just saw each other yesterday.

"It's good to see you," you say, and she wraps you in her arms after she closes the office door behind you. It feels good to finally have her by your side again; after all, you had been best friends before you left. You hug her one last time before carefully pulling away from her and sitting down in the chair in front of her desk.

"It's good to see you, too," she replies, dropping into her chair. She places her hands on the desk and interlaces her fingers. "Of course, I'd love to know how you've been this past year, but I'm afraid that will have to wait." She opens a drawer to her right and reaches for a file-your personnel file, you realize-and lays it open in front of her. "I've been informed that my request has been approved and you'll be rejoining our team," she says, smiling briefly at you. "It took a favor, but you're well worth it to me."

Your stomach tightens at the thought of Emily owing someone. You swallow the sour feeling spreading down your throat and nod at her. "Thank you, Emily."

She tilts her head and her gaze slides from your face to your kneading hands. "You're not happy with this, it seems. What's wrong?" Emily doesn't need to profile you to know something is bothering you. She knows you too well to miss the change in your behavior.

"I don't know if this is a good idea," you confess.

"And why is that?" asks Emily, but she already knows the answer. She knows what happened a year ago, and she certainly knows more than you do, because she had been here for the last year, after all. Before you can answer her, the door opens and a colorful person comes in.

"Good morning, my beautiful and strong boss," the one and only Penelope Garcia speaks without looking up from her iPad. "We have a new case that I would like to discuss with you before the whole team arrives. It's about -" When Emily doesn't answer her, she looks up and her gaze immediately lingers on you. You're surprised she doesn't drop the tablet on the floor as she rushes toward you to yank you out of the chair and into her arms. "Y/N! What a relief for my tired brain to see your beautiful face! Am I dreaming?" She breaks away from you and gives Emily a look. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming. I couldn't take it."

A smile spreads across Emily's face. "You're not dreaming, Pen. Y/N is actually back."

"Oh, how wonderful!" she squeals, pushing her glasses back up with her index finger. While she says something else to Emily, you look at her. She really hasn't changed in the last year. She's still the colorful bird of the BAU, and that's a good thing.

You notice yourself starting to smile, but then she utters the thing that erases the smile from your lips. "How's Reid doing? Have you guys talked yet?"

Emily makes a hand gesture for Penelope to drop the subject, but your expression has instantly changed when she said his name. It stabs you in the heart and cold shivers run down your spine, and only with difficulty can you suppress the tremors that want to overtake your body.

"I'm afraid the team is already here," Emily interrupts the silence and casts a glance out the window into the open-plan office. Even if you want to follow her gaze, you don't dare and your body is still in rigidity. She gets up from her chair and walks towards the door, but before she opens it, she turns to you once more. "If you need more time, that's fine. Take all the time you need. But your place is here with us, Y/N. We're your family." And with that, she and Penelope leave the office.

She's right. The BAU is your family - even if you hadn't seen or spoken to any of the family members in the last year - and walking out now wouldn't change the situation. The circumstances under which you left - had to leave - were anything but normal, and you hope that your decisions would be met with understanding, but you can't count on that. So you tighten your shoulders, push through your back, and follow them into the conference room. Your heart beats up to your neck and your hands sweat as you stop on the doorstep.

Your gaze fixes on the youngest team member, except for you. His brown curls are a little shorter than they were a year ago, and it doesn't take you ten seconds to notice that it's not the Spencer Reid you know sitting at the table. The year had changed him. Your absence had changed him.

Rossi is the first to notice you, which is because he glances over his shoulder. "Who do we have here?" he asks playfully, before rising from his chair and taking you in his arms. But you're only peripherally aware of that. Your concentration is on Spencer, who stares at you unblinkingly before jumping up and storming out of the room. JJ, sitting next to him, reaches for him, but he wriggles out of her grip and he runs past you so fast that it's easy to call it an escape. JJ smiles weakly at you before putting her hand on your arm. She doesn't need to say anything, her look tells you that she's glad you're back, but you're also aware that she wants to take care of Spencer, so you nod at her and wordlessly she follows the genius of the team.

The rest greet you with great joy, Rossi presses a kiss on your cheek and Alvez puts his arm around your shoulders, but you look out the window and see Spencer and JJ talking. His face is red and even though you can't hear his words or read his lips, you know exactly what it's about. The blonde tries to calm him down, wanting to put her hands on his shoulders to make him stop shaking, but he avoids her and takes a step back. The gesture is enough, as she drops her arms and doesn't follow him either when Spencer leaves the bullpen. You know he won't be back in the next few minutes.

Garcia tells you about the case and you try to focus on her words as best you can, but again and again your mind wanders to Spencer. His reaction to your return is understandable and you don't judge him for it. You have no right to do so; after all, you are responsible for his condition. You hope that soon there would be a quiet moment when you could talk about the past, but you are not optimistic. He pushed JJ away from him a few minutes ago, which is definitely not a good sign. You try to push the thoughts of him to the back of your mind; after all, there's a case to solve, and although the current situation isn't ideal, you're looking forward to it. It's been a long time since you've worked properly.

"All right," Emily says, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Wheels up in thirty."

"Hey," JJ addresses you as you freshen up in the ladies' room. You glance at her in the mirror and she smiles at you. "Are you okay?" You both know this question is purely rhetorical. She is, after all, Spencer's best friend. Aside from the two of you, she probably knows best what's been going on, but still not everything.

You turn around and lean against the edge of the sink. "I'm trying to get used to everything," you reply, pursing your lips into a thin line. "It's changed quite a bit while I was gone."

She nods. "Yeah, it did." She takes another step toward you. "Look, you have to give him some time, all right? This year hasn't been very nice to him. I hope you can understand that." She sounds sincere and, above all, concerned, which is why you don't resent her little speech. Of course, you're already aware of all this, but hearing it from her confirms your suspicions.

You are to blame for Spencer's condition. And there's no way you can straighten things out anytime soon.

Spencer rejoins the team only on the plane, but he avoids your proximity or your glances at all costs. He takes the seat next to Alvez, which is almost at the other end of the plane, and he is completely silent. The others, of course, notice the tension that has spread through the group since your arrival, but they all have the decency not to bring it up. But by their manner they let you know that they don't stand between you. You had been gone a long time, and they know halfway what had been going on, but they didn't take sides, and for that you are infinitely grateful.

"Alvez, JJ, Simmons. You guys talk to the families. Find out if the victims share any common traits that might connect them," Emily says, dividing the team into focus groups as usual. She glances around the group. "Rossi, Reid, Y/L/N, you go to the coroner's office while -"

"No." It's the first word Spencer has uttered since you boarded the plane. You expected his voice to be weak or to reveal any other signs of uncertainty, but the word came from his lips in a firm tone, leaving no room for discussion. Spencer looks up from the paper file and before he looks at Emily, his gaze brushes yours and at the coldness in his eyes, your blood freezes in your veins.

"All right," Emily says without elaborating. "Alvez, you switch places with Reid. Tara and I will go to the local police department and talk to the detectives. Let's catch the killer."

To say the mood on the plane hit rock bottom would be an understatement.

Forensics helps you out a bit. The victims were drugged before they died, causing hallucinations, which is probably why they self-inflicted injuries. Also, both victims have the same cut wounds in the same place. Definitely not a coincidence. Alvez has Garcia dig up some information on the way to the police station, which is why you could briefly organize your thoughts, but Rossi tells you about a new dish he'd like to cook for you sometime, and you'd been gone too long to block out your work dad. Besides, your mind would only be on Spencer and that's not moving you forward either.

"According to the relatives, none of the victims were unpopular, loners, or even depressed," JJ begins as the team gathers. You take a seat in the chair facing Spencer. When he notices, he gets up and sits somewhere else. The main thing is to get out of your sight. You sigh imperceptibly, but Luke turns in your direction and raises an eyebrow. You shake your head.

It hurts that Spencer doesn't want to be near you. In fact, it almost breaks your heart, but you can get used to that. He should go ahead and hate you. You could handle that.

The day flies by and when the team checks into the hotel in the evening, Spencer grabs one of the keys and leaves without another word. Sadly, you watch him go and Emily puts a hand on your shoulder reassuringly. Eventually, it would get better. Later on, you sit on the bed with her and tell her about the year you've been away, the people you've met, things you've experienced, but each anecdote brings you back to the one topic that makes your heart skip a beat.

"You have to tell him, Y/N," Emily suddenly says seriously, and you shake your head.

"No." It sounds almost as harsh as Spencer on the plane, but there's still some pain hovering in the air with you. "I'm not going to tell him, Emily."

"He thinks you left him because he went to prison. In his mind, you basically left him at the altar," she tries to change your mind, but to no avail. She would not succeed. You had sworn to yourself that this matter would remain a secret, something you would both take to your graves. And you have no intention of breaking that vow. "You were engaged, for gods sake" Emily's tone sharpens. "Don't you think he deserves the truth?"

"I'm not going to tell him. It's for the best."

Emily looks at you incredulously, but also knows she can't change your mind. "Best for whom?"

That night, you lie awake, tossing from side to side but unable to find sleep. You don't feel guilty about what happened. You don't question your decisions you did back then. It was the right thing to do. It bothers you because of Spencer, because of his reaction to your return, because of his hostility. JJ had asked for your understanding and you would do anything to mend fences, but you're not sure that's Spencer's intention either.

After two hours, you get up and slip into sweatpants and a sweater before leaving your room. As if of their own accord, your feet carry you down the hallway, to a destination you shouldn't be going to. As you turn into the hallway where Spencer's room is, you stop, rooted to the spot.

JJ is standing on the doorstep to his room, saying something to him before he leans down and pulls her tightly into his arms. His hair is messy, and even from this distance you can tell Spencer is leaning on JJ with all his weight. You have to swallow. How much you want a hug from him.

JJ is the first to disengage, saying goodbye to him and disappearing in the opposite direction, while Spencer stops and watches her go. There is a small smile on his face and he looks more relaxed than he did earlier in the day. As he turns to go back to his room, his gaze lingers on you. The smile disappears and his body is tense to the breaking point.

Time seems to stand still. It feels like an eternity that you stare at each other without speaking a word, but there is so much coldness in Spencer's eyes, so much pain, that you can hardly stand it and want to look away. But you're transfixed. Your hand raises of its own accord, as if in greeting, and your mouth opens, but before you can say anything, Spencer takes a step back and slams the door behind him. Only then do you realize that you've been holding your breath.

next part

- tags -

@obsssedwithjustaboutanything // @ashwarren32 // @slytherinbth // @rexorangecouny // @candlemouse // @cloudybau

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid angst #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x reader smut #derek morgan #Emily prentiss #Jennifer jareau #david rossi #Penelope garcia

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darkmulti · 4 years

Text

Love Lies

BTS

Pairing: Yandere! Jungkook, Sugar Daddy! Jungkook, Split! Jungkook x female reader

Genre: Angst & Smut

Word Count: 5.5K

CONTAINS DARK THEMES! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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A/N: I’m so fucking done with tumblr. This is really shitty like the rest of my works. Read the warnings carefully.

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐃𝐈𝐃) 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲/𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬.

Contains ‘hardcore’ kinks

Smut Warning: multiple smuts, anal, choking, dacryphilia kink, heavy degradation, bdsm -> ddlg, face slapping, spanking, fucking in front of a mirror, spanking, fingering, hair pulling, blowjob, cum eating, overstimulation, dirty talk, finger sucking, bondage (I’m probably missing something)

Other Warnings: possessive Jungkook/ JK, mentions of past abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, blood, murder, Jungkook kills people, cheating

Featuring Baekhyun (EXO) and Taehyung (BTS)

THIS CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX!

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“No! Stop! Let me go! I want to go home! I hate you!” You cried, provoking Jungkook even more. He spanked your bare butt cheek again. “Is that how you talk to your owner? Mmh? Answer me, you slut!” Another spank was placed on your bottom. You whimper under him, not knowing what to do.

“Please… I want the old you back.”

—————

2 weeks ago

You peered out of the tiny, plane window as the sun was shining right in your eyes. Finally, you’ve arrived in the city of love, Paris, France. You’ve always dreamt about coming here, but you couldn’t afford it. It was unfortunate at the time however, life is full of surprises. You sat down next to your sugar daddy - Jungkook - and leaned in for a kiss. You’ve been with him for a year now and it has been the best year of your life.

He bought you high-end accessories, clothes and cars. He owned huge mansions, a private jet and a helicopter. Being a billionaire was amazing for the most part. Though there was one thing Jungkook found himself struggling with and that was his love life. Coming back home to an empty bed after a long day of work made him feel like shit. That’s why he hired you.

You started working for Jungkook as a personal assistant. Everything about you lit up Jungkook’s eyes. But in secret, of course. You were smart, pretty, professional, your eyes and smile made Jungkook’s heart skip a beat. Yet, he still kept a cold attitude towards you.

You didn’t mind his cold attitude. It kept you on track and productive throughout the day. To you, Jungkook was a boss. Nothing more or less. That’s why you politely denied going out with him.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. I’d like to keep things professional between us.” You said calmly but inside you were freaking out.

Jungkook poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. So you’re playing hard to get with him? Too bad, Jungkook always gets what he wants. “If you don’t go out with me tonight, I’ll fire you.” You look at him in confusion. “W-what?! Why? You can’t do-”

“I can and I will. Be ready by 7. I’ll pick you up.” He walks back to his office like nothing happened while you stood there with your mouth wide open from shock. The following night, you got ready for your date. You can’t lose your job. How will you survive? Your money situation was already pretty tight, so you really couldn’t lose this job. Jungkook texted you right at 7 pm and told you he was outside of your apartment.

That’s where the wonderful journey with him began. You both were close to finishing your meal when he brought the contract up.

“I know you're struggling with money right now, but I promise I can make it all go away.” He whipped out his papers and handed it to you. “It’s a contract. I want you to spend time with me. Ask me about my day, cuddle with me, satisfy my sexual needs and I'll give you whatever you want besides money.” Your eyes widen. Is he serious? You flipped through the pages that were full of detailed paragraphs. “You want to have sex with me?” Jungkook nodded his head and avoided eye contact. “If you agree you can move in with me and stop stressing about money. I’ll take care of you.”

“No. You’ll take my independence and freedom away.”

“You say no to this contract, you’re fired.”

“You can’t-” you argue back.

“As I said before, I can and I will.” His voice got deeper, completely shutting you up.

“Can I at least have some time to read over this?” You look back down at the paper and flip to the last page. “Wait wait wait. What’s ‘DID’?”

“Read it.”

‘Dissociative identity disorder’ You read quietly to yourself. “Wait, you have another personality?” You ask, looking up at him.

“Why do you think I'm so cold towards everyone? It’s not me, it’s him.” He said, casually sipping his wine. “JK is the one dealing with… issues.” His voice went quiet. “Issues?” You were quietly utter. “I can’t tell you yet.” You nodded and flipped through the papers again.

“How long is this contract for?”

“Two years.”

“Can we test this out for one week?”

Jungkook hesitated. He didn’t want to get used to you just for you to leave him in the end. “No. Simple yes or no, princess.” Jungkook had you wrapped around his finger. You rub your temple and reach for the pen. “Fine. But don’t make me break the contract.” You hand him back the signed paper. “Let's go to my house. You’re moving in with me.” He paid for the expensive meal then brought you back to his enormous mansion.

That night he made love to you. It was one spectacular night. You smiled to yourself as you thought about all the memories you’ve made with him.

“Princess, what’re you smiling at?” He looked over at your lap, making sure you weren’t texting someone. Jungkook was extremely possessive and had trust issues. You were assuming it was because of his other side so you never questioned him. Speaking of his other side - JK - you met him not too long ago. After entering Jungkook’s life, JK hasn’t shown himself too much. He only comes out to punish you. You shivered as you thought of your last punishment. How could a human being be so cruel?

You snap out of your thoughts as the jet touches the ground. “We’re here. Let's go.” Jungkook got up and held his hand out to you. You grab it and he leads you out of the jet and to the black SUV parked a couple of feet away. While the driver drove to Jungkook’s penthouse, you started bugging Jungkook.

“How much did your penthouse cost?”

“I don’t know. Around 8-10 million. It has an indoor swimming pool and a movie room.” Your innocent eyes widened when you heard the price. “Daddy, that’s a lot of money.” You whisper in his ear. He grabbed your bare thigh with his tattooed hand and looked at you. “it’s like twenty dollars for me, baby girl.”

As soon as you guys entered the penthouse, his tongue was already down your throat. He impatiently took your clothes off and started fingering you, while you unbuttoned his shirt to feel his rock hard abs. Jungkook picked your naked figure up and carried you to the master bedroom. He placed you down on the bed and took his pants off. He stroked himself a couple of times before entering your already wet hole.

You hold onto his muscular arms for dear life and watch him go into you. “Please daddy, you’re so fucking big. Feels so good.” You moan, immediately clenching around his member. “Open your mouth.” As soon as you do, he spits into it then slaps you. “Little girls don’t swear.” You swallow his saliva and apologize for swearing. “S-sorry daddy. It won't happen again.” You wrap your legs around his waist as he pulls you closer to him. His whole cock was throbbing inside you, turning you on even more.

He wraps his fingers around your neck and starts thrusting in, each time going harder and faster. The room filled with moans, grunts and skin slapping. “You like this don’t you, you little slut? So desperate and needy for daddy’s cock. Swallowing my saliva like a dirty little girl.” He raised your leg and spanked your butt. All you could do was moan for him. Your brain couldn’t even form a sentence. “C-close” you whimper, hoping he would let you cum.

Jungkook placed his thumb on your nub and rubbed it in a circular motion while pounding your pussy. “If you cum without my permission, daddy’s gonna have to punish you. You remember your last punishment right?” Your heart stopped. You never want to interact with JK ever again. You could cry just by thinking about the last punishment. “Y-yes daddy! I remember it but please don’t punish me. I won’t cum without your permission.”

He started thrusting faster while rubbing your clit harder. Your body started shaking because of the sudden pressure. “No! Slow, please! I won’t be able to hold it in!” You cried, putting your feet on his chest and trying your best to push him away. Jungkook slapped you again and flipped you onto your stomach. He roughly entered in again, making you scream. He spanked your ass and pulled your hair while thrusting harder and harder. “No, please! I-I can’t!” You sob, kicking your feet back.

You squeeze around him one more time before cumming on his cock. You release your clenched muscles and relax your body. “Did I say that you can fucking cum?” You shook your head ‘no’ and cried under him. “I’m sorry, daddy. I really couldn’t hold it. I tried my best.” He smacked your butt again and kept thrusting. This wasn’t Jungkook anymore.

It was a long and painful night. It became extremely painful to cum. Your wrists were tied above your head. Your legs were wide open while he viciously hammered himself into you. Your body was covered in hickeys and bruises. You squirt around him once again and knock out before he could finish.

Jungkook continued roughly fucking you despite you not being conscious. He gripped onto your waist and pulled your body back while he thrust forward. After a couple of hard thrusts,’ he came in you. Cum overflowed in your hole. Your thighs were completely soaked. He picked you and laid you down on the bed before reaching over for a towel to wipe the cum off.

The next morning you woke up naked on his chest. “Good morning.” He said in a raspy tone. “Good morning” You whisper back. “What do you want for breakfast?” He asked while running his fingers through your hair. “Pancakes please.”

Jungkook helped you shower since you couldn’t feel the lower half of your body. When you got into the shower, he placed you down on your knees and slapped your face with his cock. “Open your mouth, princess.” The second it opened, his cock was shoved down your throat. You choke around him while holding onto his muscular thighs. “Suck, babygirl. Suck it like a good slut.” He pushed your hair out of your face and harshly fucked your mouth since your pace wasn’t satisfying him. He slapped your face as you struggled to breathe around him. “Look at me, you little whore!” You look up at him with eyes full of tears. Soon you felt ropes of thick cum going down your throat. You swallow it all down and moan around his cock.

The next week was full of rough sex. During the day Jungkook had to “deal with business” so you stayed home, scared and helpless. Every night he would come home and drag you out of bed just to have sex with you. Your body and mind couldn’t keep up. Every time he touched you, you mentally screamed and cried. Some nights he would come home covered in blood. Of course, it was terrifying. You’ve never seen this side of him. And you’re not sure what triggered it either.

You were in your shared bedroom when you heard the door unlock. He was home earlier than usual. He walked into the bedroom with a dress in hand. “Get up and get ready. We have to attend a party. Here’s your dress.” He left the room and you left to take another shower. After putting on some light makeup, you slip into the gown.

Jungkook walked in wearing all black. He comes over to you and places his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist. “Babygirl, when we arrive at this party you stay close to me.” He whispers in your ear. His icy fingers trace your nude back before zipping your dress up. “You look stunning, princess.” He turned you around and kissed you softly.

The party was held at a huge mansion outside the city. Jungkook held onto your hand and dragged you with him. It seemed like he was looking for someone. As you two walk hand in hand, you notice some of the men eyeing you down. One guy specifically caught your attention. You both were staring at each other. Jungkook was talking to someone and didn’t notice you looking at another man. You immediately stop and look down.

“Who’s your date, Mr. Jeon.” The stranger said, looking at me.

“She’s my wife. Mrs. Jeon.”

You’re his what? You gave him a strange look but as soon as you did he squeezed your hand, signalling you to play along.

“Well, I don't see a ring on her finger.” The man whom you were staring at moments ago was now standing in front of you. “O-oh I forgot it at home on the dresser.”

A sly smirk places on the man's face. He puts his hand out and introduces himself. “Byun Baekhyun, CEO of Byun Enterprise” you grab his hand but before you could shake it he kneeled and placed a soft kiss on your fingers.

Jungkook was squeezing your hand even harder. You quietly whimper and tug on his fingers with your other hand. He loosened his grip but his face showed clear frustration. Baekhyun walked away before Jungkook could punch him in the face. He excused you and himself from the stranger and dragged you into a room.

The man slammed the door shut and grabbed you by the neck. He pushed you against the mirror and started yelling at you. “Why the fuck were you looking at him like that?! Huh? Do you wanna go and be his slut?!”

“I’m not a slut! You cried out, trying to push him off of you. “Turn around.”

“No! I’m tired of being your sla-”

“FUCKING TURN AROUND.” You immediately turn around and keep your head down so you don’t have to look at him. The male pulled down your spandex along with your panties. “You know how I feel about other males being close to you..” he covered your mouth and thrust in. “Yet you still disobey me. And now you’re talking back to your daddy.”

He started to increase his pace as you sobbed into his hand. Your insides were bruised. Your walls were tired of clenching around him every night. Every time he touched you, your body weakened. He was able to do whatever he liked because you were too scared to leave him. “Why the fuck was he looking at you like that? Do you know him?” He pulled on your hair, forcing you to watch him fuck your guts outs.

“N-no, daddy. I-I’ve never met him before. I swear- ahh!” He pushed his whole cock in and the tip hit your g-spot. Jungkook’s hand intertwined with yours as he kissed your jawline. “You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

“No daddy, never.” You said, finally being able to breathe.

He pulled out and tucked himself away then pulled your spandex up. “If I catch you making eye contact with another male, I will hurt you. Understand?”

“Yes, daddy. I understand.”

“Good girl.” He kissed you once again and pulled you back to the party. You guys both sat down at a table and waited for the event to start. People kept coming to your table to talk to Jungkook. A man asked if he could speak to him outside so Jungkook told you to keep your head down, don’t talk to anyone or don’t leave the table.

About five minutes later, Baekhyun sits next to you. “Are you having fun?” He asked, playful dancing. “Not really. This party’s pretty boring.” He nodded his head in agreement and stopped dancing. “Where’s your husband?”

“He’s outside talking to someone.” You look back to see if Jungkook's around. If he saw Baekhyun sitting next to you, he would lose his shit. Luckily he wasn’t. “Wait… are you guys really married?” Baekhyun asked, in confusion. “No, we’re not. I’m not sure why he said that.”

“So he lied?”

“Yeah.”

Baekhyun moved closer to you, making you a little uncomfortable. He was quick to notice and apologize.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. But I know what Jungkook’s been doing to you. If you want, I can help you escape him.”

“H-how do you know?”

“It’s kinda obvious, I guess. Especially since… you know… JK. He’s not the most gentle guy around and I’m sorry that you had to face him. Just trust me. I know I’m a stranger and all but you won’t be able to leave him without my help.”

“How do I leave him?”

“Now. While he’s talking to someone, ask if you can go to the washroom. I’ll meet you there and we can leave together. I’ll protect you. If you think Jungkook has a lot of guards, wait till you see my pack.” Of course, you hesitated. If Jungkook found out about this not only will you suffer for the rest of your life, but anyone around him would die.

“He’ll find me. I can’t do it.” You quietly say.

“Fine. I won’t force you. I’m just trying to help.” Baekhyun said while getting up. He left you alone at the table while you deeply thought about your decision. “Princess, what’s wrong.” It was Jungkook. He took a seat next to you and put his arm around you. “Nothing, just bored.”

“Thank you for being a good girl while I was gone. Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. Actually, can I go to the washroom?”

“Is it an emergency?”

You nodded your head.

“Go. Be quick. If you’re not back in five minutes, I won’t hesitate to fuck you in the stall.”

You quickly get up and head to the washroom. Baekhyun wasn’t there making you lose all hope. After all, you said no. You were about to walk into the bathroom until Baekhyun’s voice surprised you. “Changed your mind?”

“Yeah…”

“K, let's go.”

He grabbed your hand and pulled you to the back door. Two guards were waiting in front of a black car and they quickly opened the door when they saw you two. You all get in and they start to drive away. You did it! He’s out of your life now.

You look over at Baekhyun and thank him. “Thank you so much for helping me escape him… but I gotta ask, why did you help me?”

“I felt bad. A guy like him doesn’t deserve a woman like you.” You chuckle. “Are you done flirting?”

“Not yet.” He smiled at you then started talking again. “So what’s the real deal between you and him?”

“Contract. Made me sign it a year ago. He was nice until we landed in Paris. Then he became someone else.”

“I guess Jungkook hasn’t opened up to you. He used to live in Paris when he was younger. He suffered a lot because of his parents. They abused him. They forced him to participate in killing people at such a young age. That’s why JK has been out. His parents are still around but he lost contact with them after becoming an adult. He’s out for revenge.”

“He’s been killing people?” Baekhyun nodded. “I mean, he came home with blood on him the other day. But I didn’t question him.”

“It’s good that you didn’t. The slightest things set him off.” You hum in response and look out the window. “So, where are we going?”

“Back to my house. You’ll be safe there. We have plenty of guest rooms and I can lend you some of my clothes. But we’ll have to leave Paris as soon as possible because Jungkook is probably looking for us.”

Jungkook’s POV

———————-

Y/N left for the washroom while my eyes searched for Baekhyun. I had to make sure that she wasn’t with him. I released my breath as I saw him talking to another guy.

“Jungkook? Is that you?” I turn around to see my old friend, Kim Taehyung.

He hugged me and showed me his bright smile. “Taehyung! Nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too! How’s JK doing?”

“He’s calmed down, I suppose. What about V?”

“He’s hanging in there.”

This is why Taehyung and I get along so well. We both have another personality that fears absolutely nothing. He teaches me how to control my other side. I teach him my torture methods. It’s a win-win. He and Y/N are the two positives in my life.

We continued our conversation until a guard ran over to us, informing me that Y/N was gone.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s gone?”

“She’s not in the bathroom. We checked the cameras and she left with another man. They used the back door so we didn’t see her.”

I took my gun out and aimed it at the guards head. “You have one fucking job and it’s to protect my girl.” Taehyung snatched the gun out of my hand and questioned the guards. “Who did she leave with?”

“Byun Baekhyun.”

“I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”

“We can, but we have to get out of here first. Do you have Y/N’s location?” Taehyung asked me.

“No, I don't. She doesn’t have a phone because she’s always with me.”

“Calm down, Kook. We can track down Baekhyun.”

Your POV

—————

You stepped out of the shower with a white towel wrapped around your body. You were finally able to clean yourself properly since Jungkook’s been the one bathing you. And by bathing, you mean having more sex in the shower.

“Baekhyun, I need clothes.” A couple of seconds later someone knocked on the door. “Here’s my shirt and sweatpants.” You quickly open the door and take it from him. “Thank you.” You could deal with no underwear for one night. It wasn’t a big deal. At least you were away from Jungkook.

You put the clothes on then leave his bathroom. “Thank you again for everything.”

“Stop thanking me. It’s lame.” He laid down on his bed and patted the space next to him. “Let’s watch a movie. Maybe it’ll distract you.” You climb onto his bed and lay down next to him.

“You hungry, peanut?” You giggle at the nickname. “No, I’m not hungry.” You felt safe with him. It was an unexplainable feeling. Baekhyun slightly turned to you and wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close. You wrap your arms around his neck and continue watching the movie. When you looked at Baekhyun he was staring at you. “What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?”

“There is.” He gave you a quick peck then went back to watching the movie. “Heyyyy, what was that for?”

“No reason. You’re just so pretty.”

The cute moment ended when one of the guards slammed the door open and yelled that they were under attack. He was immediately shot in the head after he said so. You both get off the bed and Baekhyun takes his gun out. “Go hide in the closet. I’ll come and get you after I’m done, okay.” He kissed you one more time before leaving the bedroom.

You run into his closet and hide under his clothes. You were hiding for about ten minutes when you heard the closet door open. “Princess? Where are you? Daddy came to save you.” His voice sent chills down your spine. You held your breath and didn’t move a muscle. “Come out or I’ll kill your precious Baekhyun.”

“Did you find her Jungkook?” Another man with a much deeper voice spoke. “No, I haven’t.” You released your breath as quietly as you can. “I’ll go question Baekhyun then.”

“No, no. That won’t be necessary.”

Jungkook started to dig around the pile of clothes you were hiding in and pulled you out. “Noooo! Stop, please! Let me go!” You scream and try to crawl away but Jungkook pinned you down and the other man put a cloth over your mouth and nose.

Jungkook’s POV

———————-

I carried her to the car and laid her down on the backseat. I go back into the mansion only to hear that Baekhyun had escaped. “Sir, we had him here but his guards must have set him free.” I close my eyes in annoyance. “You’ve failed two times in one day. Find him or I’ll cut your body up and feed it to my dogs.”

“Y-yes, sir.”

I walk towards Taehyung and he pats my back. “We’ll catch him next time.”

“If we don’t, I’ll kill every person in sight.”

“Relax, JK. At least you got your girlfriend back.”

“You mean my slut? I have to teach her a lesson.”

“Mind if I join?”

“Next time, V. I need her to myself tonight.”

Your POV

—————

“Get the fuck up. We’re here.”

You open your eyes and see that you’ve arrived at the penthouse. “J-Jungkook, p-please let me explain.” He yanked you out of the car making you fall onto your knees. “Owww.’’ You sob, bringing your hands on your knees to massage it.

He didn’t care about anything at this point. You did this to yourself. If you behaved, maybe you would’ve been at the Eiffel Tower, enjoying the view with him. But no. You left him for another man and now you have to pay for it.

Jungkook carried you up to the penthouse and pushed you in before slamming the door shut. He grabbed your throat and slammed you against the wall. You were forced to look into his dark orbs. “Did you enjoy his dick, you little slut?”

“P-please no! Daddy n-no! Y-you got it all wr-wrong, I-” You were crying so hard, you weren’t able to finish your sentence.“Let me show you what I can do to you for the rest of your life” he removed his belt and pushed you on the floor. He pulled your pants down just to see no underwear. “You little whore! Where’s your underwear?” He spanked your ass with his belt over and over and didn’t stop until he saw small cuts on your cheeks.

“Jungkook! please I didn’t” before you could finish your sentence a hard slap landed on your cheek. “Wrong fucking name, princess.” Tears rushed down your hot cheeks. You didn’t want this. You wouldn’t be able to handle the pain. You get back to your senses and run for the door. “Not so fast, baby girl. We haven’t even gotten started.”

JK dragged you to the bedroom, shoved you down onto the bed and started tying your wrist to the bed frame. “You know, I was planning on being gentle with you tonight… but fuck that.”

He placed his fingers into your mouth and made you suck on them while he ripped your shirt off. JK placed you on your stomach then pushed his tip into the wrong hole, making you scream at the top of your lungs. “Noooo! Please! No!” You squirm underneath him, begging him to stop. He pushed his whole cock in so you screamed and cried into a pillow. He groaned in satisfaction. Your ass was much tighter than your pussy. Not caring about your pleasure, he brutally pounded you. Your whole body started to shut down as you felt hopeless. All you could do was cry.

The man pulled on your hair and licked your tears away. “If you wanted a punishment, you could’ve just asked, princess.”

His nails dug into your skin, putting you in even more pain. His thrust was unbearable. He would pull out until only his tip was buried in you, then slam his whole cock in, knocking the breath out of you. Your hole was aching around him. “P-please, j-just slow- oww!” You cried, giving up on your sentence.

He used your ass for hours. His cum was filled to the brim of your hole. He pulled out, laid down behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. The male took out a gun and shot at the wall. You sob and move back into his embrace, shaking even harder. “See what you did there? You came back to me. You came back into my embrace, wanting me to protect you. Let me tell you something. It will always be like this. You will always come back to me. Into my arms. You belong to me.” He laid his head on yours and slowed down. “Am I right?” He whispers in your ear. “Y-yes daddy. I want chu to protect me. Pwease don’t hurt me. Pwease.”

He rubbed his cheek against yours then went back to thrusting. “We’re gonna get married, right babygirl?” You hide your face and cry your heart out. How could you marry him? “Answer me!” He yelled into your ear. “Y-yes daddy, w-we’ll get married. We’ll get m-married and I’ll be all y-yours forever.” Jungkook held you down and kept thrusting. You quiet down after some hours and let him use you. You kept cumming on him over and over. There was a pool of cum on the bedsheets.

You couldn’t possibly do anything to save yourself so the best thing to do was to obey. He kept you under him the whole time and didn’t give you a break. You insides were being wrecked by his cock. He had a tight hold on you, so you couldn’t escape him.

“Are you sleeping on me, princess?”

“N-no, daddy. I don’t have the energy to talk.”

He flipped you onto your back and started aggressively slamming his cock into you again and again. He held onto your neck and spat into your mouth. “Tell me exactly what happened at Baekhyun’s house.”

“H-he let me shower and gave me his clothes to wear. Then we started to watch a movie and that's it.”

“Did you fuck him?”

“No daddy. M-my body belongs to you.”

“Damn right it does. Get on all fours.” You slowly flip yourself onto your stomach and try your best to keep yourself up. He plunged himself into your ass once again and started thrusting at an inhuman speed. You held onto the bedsheets but the pain was still there. You collapse on the bed, not being able to hold yourself up anymore. But this didn’t stop Jungkook. He only went faster, showing you who’s in control. His hips smacked against your ass repeatedly.

You started losing all your senses. You shake around him as you push through your orgasm. You sharply inhale and clench your sore muscles as hard as you can. Waves of pleasure and pain push through your body and as soon as it reaches the bottom, you release. Your muscles relax as your cum drips down your slit. You try to catch your breath but the man behind you pulls out of your ass and slams into your wet pussy.

“Come on princess. Do that one more time for me.”

“Noooo!” You screamed out. You couldn’t do that again. “Daddy.. can’t! Daddyyyy!” He went harder and faster, indicating that he’s close. You clench around him one more time, sending him over the edge. His hot cum rushed deep inside you. “Fuck, princess. Just like that!” He hissed. He pulled you onto his lap and pushed you to have another orgasm. All you could see is white. All you could hear is his skin slapping against yours.

Tingles travel throughout your body as you clench all your muscles again. Jungkook held you tightly and gave you a final thrust that sent you over the moon. “Daddy!” You sob, holding onto him like your life depended on it. Your cum coated his cock one more time. “I-is it over? Are y-you done?” You sniffle and keep your eyes closed. Jungkook lays down with you in his arms. “It’s over.” He kissed your forehead and rubbed your back to soothe you.

You cry into his neck even harder. “Please… I want the old you back.”

“You want Jungkook?” He asked, suddenly looking a little hurt. “Y-yeah.”

“I’m sorry, I took him away from you. I just wanted to feel what he was feeling.”

“What was he feeling?”

“Loved… if you want, I can give you him.”

“Wait no.” You said, suddenly feeling bad. “I-I can love you too.” You rub your nose against his and feel all warm inside. You kissed him softly on the lips while your fingers moved his damped hair out of his face. You lay back down on his chest with your fingers still tangled in his hair. “Please love me back.” You mumble.

“I already do.”

#jk smut #non con #bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #yandere bts #bts yandere #bts reaction

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inviberu · 3 years

Text

music box

Confessing was no easy thing, especially for someone like Heath who could barely take a compliment without his cheeks burning red. When someone suggested he should give a gift instead, the gears inside his head started to turn. The most beautiful gift of all is one that comes from the bottom of one's heart—the question is: what was it?

Heath didn't know how to express his feelings without getting too many butterflies in his stomach to the point that he has to bend over to calm himself down or without tripping over his words and forgetting everything he planned to say. His cheeks would flare up and he would tear his gaze away from your figure as he told himself inside his head: "Not today, maybe not tomorrow either…."

Faust could barely stand the way Heath kept on backing out at the last minute during his decisions to finally confess his feelings. Faust pushed up his glasses and crossed his arms with a stern look on his face as he sighed. Heath sat up straighter, hoping that Faust wasn't about to scold him about something related to missions, unaware that Faust called him to his room to talk about more… personal matters instead of their line of work.

"I know there's a lot of stuff going on inside your head, but you shouldn't let it affect you when you're doing missions." Every word that came from Faust's lips was a lie to disguise his genuine concern for his student—roundabout, as a lot of Eastern folk are. Upon seeing Heath's face contort into one of slight panic, Faust immediately followed up with a question: "What is it that's bothering you anyway?"

Another lie. Faust already knew well what the source of Heath's worries is but he'd rather have Heath be unaware of the fact that he's been paying attention to him. Heath glanced down, a light hue of pink dusting his cheeks and Faust could already tell what this was about even if he hadn't known about Heath's countless attempts to confess to you before.

"Faust-sensei… do you know how to confess to someone?" Heath's unexpected question caught Faust off guard, his eyes widening in surprise before letting out a small cough after regaining his composure.

"C-Confess?" Faust tried his best to play dumb. "Like those love confessions?"

Heath nodded slowly, "I've been trying to confess to someone for a while now but… I keep on getting scared at the last minute. It's like the fear of being rejected suddenly walking up behind me and grabbing my shoulder."

"... You're a wonderful young man, Heath. I doubt there's anyone out there that would reject you" Faust closed his eyes as he tipped his hat slightly, trying his best to reassure him.

"Plus, you'll never know the answer unless you go for it." Faust chuckled, a smile forming on his face. Heath's eyes twinkled all of a sudden and felt his enthusiasm bounce back up as he grabbed Faust's hands into his own—Faust's expression slowly turning to one of discomfort.

"Then… Can you help me?" Heath asked hopefully.

"Me…?" Faust exclaimed, his glasses almost dropping down.

"W-Well only if you want to! I wouldn't dare force you to help me against your wishes..."

"I suppose I can try… I can't guarantee anything, of course." Faust agreed reluctantly and Heath beamed, his smile widening in happiness as he said his thanks to the Eastern teacher. "Well, first of all, if you find yourself unable to speak in front of them… don't you think there's a better alternative rather than confessing in person?"

After all this time, Heath had always tried to confess to you upfront and had never bothered to consider any other options until Faust brought it up. Heath wanted to curl up and bury himself six feet under at the sudden realization, feeling as if all this time spent was just used for needless worrying.

"Like a letter of sorts?" Heath asked carefully. Faust shook his head and merely answered his question vaguely.

"Something that comes from the heart." He pointed towards Heath's heart. "You're good at craftsmanship, aren't you? Why not make good use of that?"

A few days had already passed since Faust made that remark—living inside Heath's brain with no signs of leaving soon. A letter would've been easier but after taking it into more consideration, as well as Faust’s words, he decided to give it more thought. What was another alternative? A gift instead of a letter, perhaps? Heath ruffled his hair, deep in thought as he sat on one of the cushioned seats inside the lounge.

“Heathcliff?” A voice called out, snapping Heath out of his daze and adjusted his vision to the person in front of him—the northern wizard, White. Curiously, he asked, “is there something troubling you? Won’t you allow this old man to help if so?”

“Sir White… it’s nothing important, I appreciate the offer though.” Heath shook his head, trying to brush off White’s offer as politely as he could. White merely crossed his arms, nodding his head before a smug and knowing smile took over his face—as if he already knew what was troubling Heath without having him say anything.

“Ohoho… it’s about the matters of the heart, is it not?” Bullseye. Heath felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest, unable to hide the surprise evident in his expression. White didn’t wait for an answer, for he already knew he struck gold—he let out a laugh. “It’s written all over your face! A young man falling victim to love… is what your expression is saying.”

Heath covered his face by instinct, horrified at the newfound information that it was written all over his face. He wished he could keep a poker face like Lennox, perhaps that way he wouldn't be so easy to read—unaware that was precisely one of his charming points.

“Haha… is it that obvious?” Heath muttered weakly, burying his face into his palms and White only chuckled at the cute display. “Sir White, do you know of any good gifts fit for a confession?”

White rubbed his chin, deep in thought. A fitting gift for a love confession—one would normally think of something like flowers or sweets as if it was valentine's day, that was the textbook answer, though when White glanced at Heath and remembered his knack for machinery and the likes, he suddenly remembered of that one era that had a specific trend.

“It's a bit old fashioned but back in the day, music boxes were the trend. Why not make one with music that reminds you of your beloved? Wouldn't that be perfect for someone like you?” White beamed, smiling as if he gave a groundbreaking piece of advice. Heath’s eyes widened ever so slightly with his mouth agape as he thought about his words; music boxes were indeed old fashioned as you wouldn't see it normally these days.

“Me…? Make a music box?” He has never tried it before, especially not for a special someone, though he was confident he's able to make one if he tried.

“Ohoho, you’re good with machinery, are you not? Why not put those skills to use to make a heartfelt gift?” White nodded enthusiastically. Heath couldn't help but get lost in his thoughts, already trying to figure out how he was going to construct one—it seems like the young master has already figured out which gift he should give.

Heath spent his days holed up inside his room by his desk, materials sprawled all over with chunks of wood littered around after he had carved the finest wood he could get his hands on after returning to the East for a short while. A focused look adorning his face as he drowned out the noises surrounding him, immersed in his craft.

Countless music sheets were crumpled and thrown to the bin at the side which was overflowing with scrapped pieces—music pieces. Heath was no expert like Rustica when it came to music composition, he had left his seat several times to consult the Western Wizard in order to make sure the music wasn't disappointing and was able to convey his feelings, somehow.

He planned to leave the box and a note anonymously, though he already suspected it wasn't going to be very discreet as he started carving the box with the same carving he engraved into Shino’s magic tool. One look at it and you would be able to guess who did the carving, for it was named Blanchett for a reason.

He added the finishing touches, blowing the small particles of dust away that remained in the corners before opening the box as a sweet, soft melody started to play—its gears turning as it played music flawlessly. Heath smiled at the music box he created, proud. He put all of his feelings of adoration for you inside one box, only revealing itself if you decide to open it, akin to Pandora's box.

As if reciting his last prayer, he clutched it tightly as he muttered his spell under his breath before standing up and deciding to leave it by your doorstep—this time, he'll let you know of his feelings.

As he arrived at your doorstep, he quietly wished that you weren't inside your room because that would make things complicated as Heath already felt like he was doing something scandalous. His cheeks burned red as he quickly dropped the music box as well as a small note before knocking once and scurrying off back to his room where he could finally put his mind to rest.

You opened the door, greeted by no one but a mysterious box and a small note that didn't indicate whoever sent it to you for there was no name. Without much hesitation, you picked it and inspected it—the intricate design catching you off guard as you recognized it as the same one present in Shino’s magical tool. And the one who made it was none other than Heath himself, that only meant one thing—Heath was behind this mysterious set-up. You felt your chest bubble up in excitement, an uncontrollable smile forming in your face as you felt giddy.

You opened the note, it read: For you have captured my heart, I offer this gift to you.

You felt your heart leap at the words you read, scanning it once again to make sure your eyes weren't playing tricks on you, cheeks heating up as you realized what this meant. You quickly opened the box, not expecting a few blue butterflies to come out and fly around you as a soft melody played from it—a music box Heath made just for you. You could feel his magic from the box, did he imbue his magic? You suspected as much.

The longer you listened to the music, the more you felt like running to his room to tell him you felt the same way. There wasn't a single thing stopping you from doing so. With a determined look on your face, you started heading towards his room. Fortunately, you saw him walking in the hall, it seems like he hasn't arrived in his room yet.

You took the opportunity to jump at him, his arms instinctively wrapping themselves around you, panic was written all over his face when he realized it was you who threw themselves at him. With the proximity between the two of you, you placed a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose. His heart felt like it was about to explode.

“W-What are you doing!?” He grabbed you by the shoulders and tried to push you away in an attempt to calm his racing heart. You smirked as you felt like teasing him more, though the huge smile on your face was unfitting as you told him:

“You could've told me in person… but, I like you too, silly!”

#mhyk #mhyk writing #my writing #promise of wizard #mhyk x reader #heathcliff blanchett x reader #promise of wizard heathcliff #heathcliff blanchett #mhyk heathcliff #heathcliff x reader #heath x reader #no beta we die like white

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geminisholland · 3 years

Text

i’m covered in you Tom Holland x actress!reader

a/n: whew i had fun with this!! i loved writing this so much! also, if you like star wars and want to give my other blog some love @makerkenobi i would appreciate that!! references to my fave song, ivy by miss swift

requests are open

warnings: cussing, angst, and a whole lotta fluff

word count: 2174

join my taglist!

bold and italics are text messages

italics are song lyrics

The hours spent on set between you and Tom had inevitably created a close bond for the two of you. There were many sleepless nights together, running scenes for hours on end before the director finally shot one they liked. You were each other’s rock during the whole process, Tom made a point to come over to your trailer before a particularly difficult scene, and provide support. You were newer to acting, and Tom helped guide you and give you advice during filming. It was safe to say that Tom was your best friend, and you were his. However, playing lovers on screen and having that chemistry was difficult for you to ignore. You knew that deep down, you had feelings for Tom, you just decided from the very beginning that you couldn’t pursue him. You wanted to make sure you established yourself as a professional, which you are.

You were professional for the entire filming process, never having a night where you drank too much and kissed him. Never. You were quite proud of that, because there were many opportunities where you could have. Tom was hard to read, anyways. You never knew how he was feeling, one minute he’d talk about some girl he likes, and the next he’s going on about how he just wants to stay single right now.

The press tour for this movie was coming along in just a few days, and you were doing your best to prepare. Mentally, that is. The press tour was going to have a lot of bonding time. Interviewers asking you questions every day, all day. Sitting next to Tom for hours on end just talking about each other and the movie. Being only a hotel room away from him. Celebrating the movie coming out with trips down to the hotel bar at midnight, you knew this was dangerous.

A ding from your phone made you snap out of your daze, as you picked it up to look at it.

Tom: Are you excited for the press tour or whattt

You: haha yesss i’m so excited & also kinda nervous?? idk why

Tom: I have that affect on people

You: shut up

You: it’s effect btw

Tom: No it isn’t

You: uhhh... yes it is dumbass

Tom: Shut up

Tom: I’ll see you in a few days in the best city ever

You: you’re only saying it’s the best city because it’s your city

Tom: Ya that’s why it’s the best

You: you’re so annoying i’ll see you soon

With that, you locked your phone, and resumed packing. You really only needed to pack pajamas and workout clothes, because all your outfits for the press tour were being brought in by your stylist. You really couldn’t complain about any of this, you got to play dress up for a month or so, hang out with Tom, and talk about a movie you’re really proud of. Oh, and also travel across the world. That part was pretty cool.

You flew into London a day early so you would have time to adjust to the time difference. Tom was kind enough to invite you to stay the night at his house before the two of you left for hotel rooms every night.

When you arrived, you were extremely tied, and didn’t have the energy to hang out with Tom’s entire family, and his roommates.

“Hey everyone,” You said as you walked into his house. Tom was behind you, carrying one of your bags.

“It’s so heavy,” He groaned out, and you rolled your eyes at him. He was never very subtle about what was on his mind.

“Hey y/n!” Harry called out. “We missed you!”

You looked around the room to see just about everyone that Tom knows sitting in his living room. You weren’t expecting to be met with at least ten people, right after you got off of a ten hour flight.

“Oh... hey!” You let out, your eyes were wide with shock. You were really tired, but didn’t want to be rude. “How is everyone?”

You made your way around, saying hello to everyone, as Tom put away your luggage in the guest room. He came downstairs, and you turned around to look at him. He had the biggest smile on his face, he loved seeing you with everyone. Of course, you had already met and hung out with his family and friends, but you were special to him; which means you getting along with his family and friends was really important to him.

“Hey, Tom,” You said. “Can we talk real quick?”

“Of course, darling,” He responded. You grabbed his arm, leading him out to the backyard so you could talk in private.

“That was really nice of you to have everyone here,” You acknowledged. You looked up at him as he flashed you a grin. He was overflowing with excitement, it had been a few months since you last saw each other in person.

“Everyone missed you,” He explained. “Myself included.”

“I missed you too, Tom.” You looked up at him, your arms were still interlocked together as you stood on the gravel, overlooking his backyard.

“I don’t want to be rude,” You started. He furrowed his brows as you continued, “But I’m really exhausted, and I think I need to just take a little nap. Can everyone come back for dinner?”

“Oh, of course!” He exclaimed. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t even thinking- I was just so excited you were coming, and everyone else was too I ju-“

“Tom, it’s okay,” You smiled at him. He relaxed as your eyes met. “I’m really appreciative, Thank you for doing this. I just need some sleep right now.”

“Of course,” He nodded. The two of you went back inside, and Tom had asked everyone to come back later to give you some time to unwind. You walked into the guest room he had made for you, and laid down on the bed, not bothering to get under the covers as you drifted off to sleep.

Having dinner with everyone later was extremely fun, and you were feeling like yourself again. The entire stay at Tom’s house was incredible, the two of you messed around a lot, but at the end of the day he was really a great friend. The morning you two were getting ready to leave for the press tour, he brought up tea to your room. It was the little things, you thought.

That day consisted of driving to the hotel, getting ready for interviews, and talking a lot about the movie. The two of you ended up in the hotel bar later that night, starting off the press tour by getting drunk. There were multiple days of this; you went from England, to France, to Germany, Spain, everywhere. You and Tom were having so much fun, all you did was talk in interviews, eat good food, sightsee, and get drunk. It was magical, actually. But everything changed when you went to Italy.

“We have Y/N Y/L/N and Tom Holland here, promoting their new movie,” The interviewer spoke into the camera. You and Tom sat beside each other, smiling as they continued to talk and ask questions.

“Was this movie more difficult to film, Tom? Because of how dark it is?” She asked, and Tom nodded his head.

“Oh, definitely,” He began. “I had a hard time with scenes, but luckily I have an amazing costar who helped me out with them.” He placed his hand on your shoulder as he looked over at you.

“And you, y/n?” She started. “It was also difficult?”

You nodded your head, “It’s definitely something I’ve never done before.” All three of you laughed before you continued. “Yeah, it was very difficult, actually. I’m very lucky Tom was there, there were a lot of tears- on and off screen!”

The three of you let out a laugh again, and Tom took his hand off your shoulder, and it fell onto your lower back. You gave him a quick look before the interviewer continued to ask questions.

“Because this movie is so dark, I thought it would be fun to ask some fun, lighthearted questions!”

You and Tom nodded, and she started to begin.

“What are you favorite colors?”

“Blue,” You let out.

“Green,” Tom responded.

The questions kept coming, and you and Tom were having a lot of fun with them. It was something different, and you liked that. Then, she asked the question that changed everything.

“What song reminds you of the other person?” She asked. You and Tom looked at each other, thrown off by what was just asked.

“Uhh,” Tom started. “I think I’d have to say Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra.”

You laughed, knowing why he said this.

“We had a lot of dance parties in the hair and makeup trailer to this song,” Tom answered. You nodded your head.

“And you, y/n, what song reminds you of Tom?”

You hesitated, you knew what song he reminded you of, you just were scared to say it out loud.

“Umm,” You drifted off. Tom stared at you, waiting for your answer. “I don’t know why, but my brain is saying ‘Ivy’ by Taylor Swift.”

You and Tom looked at each other, he looked confused; raising an eyebrow to indicate his confusion. The interviewer cleared her throat, then changed the subject. You spent the whole interview on edge, Tom kept giving you the side eye, and you knew you were going to have a conversation about it after.

Except after wasn’t until much later, you had at least three more interviews to do that day. When this interview ended, you didn’t have any time to chat with him. Your makeup artists rushed over to do touch-ups before the next interviewer walked in.

You were in agony, you wanted so badly to talk to him about this, but the two of you had no time alone. You were doing your best to not look at him, you couldn’t make eye contact right now.

Finally, you wrapped up the interviews for the day, and you and Tom started heading to your hotel rooms.

“What was that?” He asked, breaking the awkward silence as you walked back to you rooms.

“What was what?” You played dumb, but still looked at the ground.

“Look at me,” He demanded. You looked up at him, he was taller than you, and you were already in a vulnerable position. “You told me that ‘Ivy’ was a song that made you feel like you were in love, do you not remember that? You said that when we were filming.”

“I remember.”

“Then what the fuck was that?”

You breathed in, your heart was racing and you started to sweat. You were growing anxious. You looked behind him to see your hotel room number, you were hoping you could escape this. Maybe this wasn’t healthy, you thought. Running away from your problems. You just couldn’t handle him saying anything other than that he feels the same for you. You tried to move forward, but he blocked you.

“Don’t run away from me,” He growled out.

“Fine,” You said. “What do you want me to say?”

“What you meant,” Tom responded. He started to back up, so he was against the wall right next to your hotel door. You stood across from him, on the other side of the door.

“What I meant,” You were stalling. He stared at you, waiting for you to response.

You couldn’t look away, though.

So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it. You started it.

Your eyes met each other, and you started to moved your way closer to him. He started walking towards you, your bodies inches apart.

So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life and you started it. You started it.

You would do anything for him, anything. He breathed out, and you felt his breath on your face.

“I love you,” You whispered. You nodded your head, looking down at the ground. You couldn’t even look him in the face. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him. He had a smile on his face.

“Oh, y/n, I love you too,” He said. You laughed, but was abruptly cut off by him smashing his lips into yours. You brought one hand to his neck, the other to your back pocket, trying to find the hotel room key. You stumbled, Tom was closing in on you. There was no space left between your bodies, and you were on fire. His hands were in your hair, and he was pushing you up against the wall. You giggled, you were struggling to put the key into the slot of the door, but Tom ripped it out of your hands and shoved it in the slot. He opened the door, then picked you up, taking you into your hotel room.

Now I’m covered in you.

taglist:

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#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland fluff #geminisholland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x y/n

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band--psycho · 3 years

Text

Negan x Reader-You’re Different

For my amazing friend @little-diable writing challenge!! I hope you enjoy this!

Prompt: In my heart there was a kind of fighting that’s would not let me sleep (Prompt in bold)

Warnings- A lot of smut (18+ if you’re under 18 do not read!)

Y/ns POV

In my heart, there was a kind of fighting that would not let me sleep and this wasn’t the first night this had happened either. And it was all because of one person. Negan. The leader of The Saviors. He was someone people feared, hell most people saw him as a monster and I knew he had that side to him...but he was different around me. He was real, not the fierce leader he was in front of the other Saviors. We’d talk about our life before this, about the threats he and our people were facing. And overtime I grew a sweet spot for him, one that saw past the act he put on and he grew a soft spot for me too, I wasn’t a wife and I’d never so much as kissed Negan but I had all of the privileges of a wife and he’d bring me back gifts from runs. Unlike the wives who normally got some form of lingerie or something else sexual, he gave me books, so much so I basically had a whole library in my room. But recently, I couldn’t help the thoughts that crept into my night when I was alone. The other day when I walked past his room and heard him moaning I couldn’t help the dampness that I felt in my panties. I tried to brush away those thoughts, but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. I craved him in a way I never craved anyone before. I knew he wasn’t seeing any of his wives tonight and before my brain could even really register what my body was doing, I was knocking on his door. I rarely ever visited him unless Simon had told me he wanted me to, normally Negan would come to my room which would explain the quizzical look he had on his face.

“Doll? What’re you-” before he could say anything else I pressed my lips to his, the pent up need I had for him taking over my brain and my body. Soon enough, he was kissing me back just as intensely. His salt and pepper beard was rough against my skin, but I didn’t care, both of us were too entranced in the kiss, our lips attacked each other for a while, fighting for dominance, which of course he won. The kisses weren’t slow and sensual they were quick and desperate and right now that’s what I craved.A small noise of shock escaped my mouth at the feeling of my back colliding with the cold door which was now firmly shut. But it didn’t take long until my attention was back on the kiss. I craved him, every part of him and that’s when I felt his growing erection pressing against my thigh as the kiss got more intense and I couldn’t resist grinding against him, desperately trying to search for something, anything to cure the aching pleasure I had.But without any hesitation his hands held my waist in place, his dominant touch making the arousal I was already feeling multiply causing the dampness in my panties to grow. I’d never felt anything like this, not even for previous boyfriends I had when the world was normal. He lit a fire inside me that I couldn’t dim.

“I need you,”I whispered against his lips, he studied my eyes for a few moments, more than likely trying to figure out what was running through my head, but when I repeated, I noticed how his eyes grew dark with lust, a look that made the pleasure I was feeling almost unbearable. He knew it as well as I did. Instead of attacking my lips, he attacked my neck, sucking and biting all over my sensitive flesh.

“You’re gonna be a good girl and do exactly what I tell you, understand?” He drawled in a deep voice, his voice sending shivers down my spine.

“Yes, sir,” I whispered obediently, knowing full well I was going to do whatever he said, no questions asked. A low chuckle left his lips, his gloved hand lightly tilting my chin up to look at him directly in the eyes,“Oh sweetheart, you call me daddy when we’re alone, understand?” All I could do was nod in response, feeling the words I wanted to say get lost in my throat as I stared into his eyes.

“Speak when you’re spoken to sweetheart.”he ordered, the softness in his voice contradicting the fiery look of desire in his eyes.

“Do you understand,” he asked, moving his gloved hand downward and wrapping it around my throat just hard enough to make the pleasure inside me build.

“Yes, daddy,” as soon as I said those words, that all too familiar smirk came upon his face.

“Strip,” he breathed into my ear, the warmth of his break making the hair on the back of my neck stand up in excitement as he slowly released his grip on my throat. I menatally whined as his body backed away from mine slightly,taking the warmth of his body with him. Of course I obeyed his orders, quickly disregarding my pyjama shorts and top, leaving me in nothing but my sports bra and panties. He stood there, his eyes wandering down my body but as I felt his eyes on my body I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? I thought to myself, the reality of the situation suddenly dawning on me. I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me as his eyes wandered down my body. What if he doesn’t like what he sees…that thought kept running round and round in my head, but that thought was halted in its tracks when I felt Negan's hands on my face.

“Doll,” he asked softly, both of his hands simultaneously tracing small circles on to my cheeks before moving closer to me.

“You look fuckin’ gorgeous, doll,” he reassured, his hands slowly trailing to the bottom of my sports bra, his eyes searching mine for permission to remove it. I simply nodded as he lifted the bra over my head, throwing it into the pile of clothes already on the floor. Negan’s eyes darted down to my breasts, smirking as he slowly kissed down my chest, his hands now delicately rubbing over my nipples, His actions made all the anxiety I had fade away, all I could focus on was him, his hands, his mouth. A deep chuckle reverberated against my skin as he got to the waistband of my panties, his middle finger tracing along my clothed slit; instinctively I attempted to close my thighs, not knowing how much longer I could last..

“Get on the bed and spread those sweet fuckin’ legs, sweetheart” he mumbled against my skin as he kissed from my abdomen all the way back up to my lips. Of course I obeyed, quickly making my way to bed and spreading my legs near enough as soon as my body hit the silk sheets of his bed.

“I’ve barely done anythin’ yet and you’re already this fuckin’ soaked,” it wasn’t a question. It was a statement and one he was more than happy to make, the pride oozing out of his voice. As he said those words I felt the bed dip slightly under the weight of him as he kneeled at the bottom of the bed. He then started kissing my legs, working his way up from my ankle to my thigh and back down again, going from one leg to another, his beard only adding to the pleasure I was feeling ,while his hands tightly held on to both of them making sure I couldn’t move. Waiting was torture, I knew exactly where I wanted him but he wanted to tease me instead, which was all well and good, but the more he did this the more I felt lke I would come undone without him even touching my aching pussy.

“Daddy, please,” I whined, the desire I was feeling nearly overflowing.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he cooed, his finger lightly tracing over the place I craved him most.

“You,” and that was the only answer he needed before he ripped my panties from my body, freeing my dripping pussy.

“I’ll give ya the choice, sweetheart, seen as I don’t think you’re gonna last long,” he whispered against my skin, one hand coming up to caress my breast, whilst the other was still holding my thigh.

“Do you want daddy's tongue and fingers or do you want daddy's cock?” the hand that was once on my thigh, moving to my pussy, a single finger tapping against my swollen clit. I knew Negan was an experienced lover, even his wives (who hated him) always sex with him was something out of this world.I knew either way, I was going to be screaming and moaning in pleasure because of him but as the thought lingered in my head I felt eyes drift down to the erection that was covered by Negan's trousers.

“Use your words baby girl,” my heart fluttered at the nickname he called me as I tried to find my voice.

“I want you cock, daddy, please” I begged, desperately craving to release the pleasure that was still building inside me.

“As you fuckin’ wish,” he cooed, leaning up to place a quick though heated kiss on my lips, before getting off of the bed, stripping himself bare. The confidence he had just seemed to flow off of him and I couldn’t help but stare in awe at his body. My eyes started at his chiseled tattooed chest and then moved further down to his cock. He. Was. Huge.

“Like whatcha see,” he teased, kneeling between my thighs, the head of his cock agonizingly close to the place I needed him the most. But instead of entering me, he just stared at me for a while, the look in his eyes changing from lust and desire to a look I’d never seen on him before. A look that made my heart swell. A look of adoration...of love…

“Negan?” I asked, leaning up slightly, placing a hand over his chest lightly.

“You’re different,” he whispered, his eyes still locked on mine as his hands went back to my face, caressing my cheeks again.

“Different?” I asked softly only causing Negan to let out a small chuckle at the confused look on my face.

“I love you,” he whispered so quietly I wasn’t entirely sure that I’d heard him right but before I had time to say anything back, he was crashing his lips onto mine. It was different then before, it was slow and loving. As he continued to kiss me, I felt him lightly push my body back down on the bed. While his lips were still placed on mine, I felt him guide his throbbing hard cock into my soaking wet pussy. Both of us letting out a moan at the sensation of each other, it was an incredible feeling and he hadn’t even moved yet. Slowly he began to move his hips, his cock gently thrusting inside of me and then the speed of his thrusts began to increase and I couldn’t help but roll my hips back at him in response, when we broke away from the kiss and locked eyes with each other we both knew we were chasing our release.

“You feel so fuckin’ good, babygirl,” he whispered breathlessly as his thrusts increased in speed; all I could do was moan in response, edging towards my climax even more. He kissed down my chest, just as he had done earlier, one hand squeezing my breast while he sucked on the other one. His tongue rolling over my hardened nipple, the other hand pinching at the sensitive budd on my breast, whilst he was doing this his thrusts began to get deeper, every single one of them hitting my G-spot.

“Da..Daddy,” I stuttered out, feeling his thrusts get quicker.

“Cum,” he ordered, and as if on my cue, my body responded, clenching around his dick as he spilled his seed inside of me. I couldn’t help but moan loudly not being able to contain the amazing feeling I felt releasing all of the pent up pleasure that had been building, I was sure half the sanctuary was going to hear me but I didn’t care. Both of us were panting as he pulled out and rolled off of me, before sitting up slightly, pulling my body into him.

“You were fuckin’ amazing babygirl,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head, whilst his arm soothingly stroked my arm. I smiled in response, my finger lightly tracing over his tattoo before whispering “I love you too, Negan,” into his neck. I saw a smile on his face grow, it wasn’t a devilish smile, it was a pure smile. He held me close to him, like he was scared I was going to vanish and I reassured him the only way I knew I could, with featherlight kisses and comforting words and eventually we fell asleep wrapped in each others arms, not waking until the sunlight of a new summer's day bled through the curtains.

Tagging people who might be interested:

@neganandblake @you-a-southpaw-doll @negan-morningstar @negandarylsatisfaction @moxley-master @buttercandy16

Join my taglist here

#negan smut #negan x reader #negan imagines #negan imagine #twd negan x reader #twd negan #negan x ofc #negan x oc #negan x you #twd imagine #twd imagines #twd x reader #twd x oc #twd xoc #twd x y/n #the walking dead negan #the walking dead imagines #the walking dead negan x reader

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seihun · 4 years

Text

i have never once been jealous of park chanyeol in my entire life

ϟ pairings and aus :: oh sehun x reader, college au, friends to lovers au, fluff

ϟ word count :: 2.3k

ϟ author’s note :: this is technically a part of a (now completed!) au i’ve been posting, but it can also be read as a stand-alone!! so, i hope you enjoy!! i’ll link things later, if necessary :) more notes at the end!!

Sehun hears you before he sees you, sending a panicked text to Junmyeon before you come crashing through the front door.

Except you don’t.

Sehun swears that he’s hearing your voice, though, loud and clear. He shoves his phone into his back pocket, ignoring the repeated notifications from his elders, and trudges towards the window.

Sure enough you’re there, alright, and that is your voice. Through the small hole he’s made in the curtain, he sees you opening the back door to a car, obviously searching for something inside. His eyebrows pinch together for a moment, unsure of what you’re looking for, or who’s car that is, but he’s not left wondering for long.

Because Chanyeol rounds the rear of the vehicle, playfully shoving you out of the way as he reaches into the backseat himself. He can hear the two of you talking, laughing, but he drowns out the words; too focused on watching the scene in front of him.

Chanyeol pulls out two white plastic bags, full of what appear to be containers of food, but that’s not what Sehun sees. He sees your bright-eyed look of affection, the cheek to cheek grin painted on your face as you take a bag from Chanyeol. He hands you another one, a grocery bag this time; the exchange is quick, but Sehun feels like he’s been watching for a lifetime.

Chanyeol must have said something funny, because he has you laughing again, gently nudging his hip with yours before giggling himself. You have him goodbye with your free hand, before turning to head for the stairs to the front door.

He rushes to close the curtains, almost trips over a pair of Baekhyun’s shoes on his way to open the door for you.

“Hey, there you are!” you greet him, shoving the door closed with your foot. Sehun smiles back, taking the bags of food from you while you take your shoes off, following him into the living room after.

It’s easy banter as you help him unpack all the food. You hand him the bubble tea, and excited, waiting grin on your face. It’s almost childlike, the way you glimmer up at him, waiting for him to take the first sip—like a kindergartner waiting for their parent to taste a cupcake they decorated.

It’s good, of course. It’s his favorite, and Sehun’s satisfied smile seems to be all the approval to you need.

“I got spaghetti, and ziti, and three types of garlic bread—and also carbonara. We probably won’t finish it, but if there was this deal going on and Chanyeol insisted we should buy as much to get the discount, and I figured Baekhyun would probably—”

“I think you should ask Chanyeol out.”

If Sehun surprised himself with the words that came out of your mouth, he surprised you ten times over. At least, so he thinks, judging by the way you completely freeze, wide eyed with an aluminum foil take-out container barely maintained in your loosening grip.

“You—what? Why would I ask out Chanyeol?” you question, blinking slowly and setting the container on the coffee table.

Sehun shrugs, preoccupying himself with opening the rest of the food. He’s careful to avoid eye-contact, lest tears threaten to spill from his own. “Chanyeol’s a good guy,” he says, words quiet, slow, deliberate, “And he seems to like you a lot.”

“I mean—yeah, Chanyeol’s great, but I, um, I don’t think he likes me like that, though.”

“He probably does,” Sehun pushes, “He has no reason not to.”

“Hun, where is this coming from?” you ask with a chuckle. You shove his shoulder playfully, forcing him to look up from twirling pasta around his fork.

He shrugs again, bringing your mood down a notch. “I just—I don’t know, I think you deserve to be happy and date someone if you want. And Chanyeol’s a good guy.”

He’s twiddling his thumbs, biting his lip: telltale signs he’s anxious or lying, or in this case, both. He notices his actions, but stops them too abruptly, insighting disbelief on your features in the form of crinkled eyebrows.

“What—I mean, does something give you the impression that I’m not happy now?”

“No!” Sehun’s tone is pitched and jumpy. Then quiet and somber, “I’m just saying, you know. If you like him, you should go for it.”

It’s silent for a while, too long for Sehun’s comfort, filled only with longing stares and curious eyes. He dares not say anything else, untrusting of the sound of his own voice and his ability to swallow his sorrow; forces himself to stuff food into his mouth as a distraction.

“Thank you for looking out for me.” You scoot over, sitting directly next to him on the couch before wrapping your arms around his torso. Sehun borderline chokes on his garlic bread. “You’re a good guy, too, Hun,” you add, head resting against his bicep, words eerily close to those Junmyeon was murmuring to him just hours ago.

Neither of you say anything for a moment more, Sehun trying his best will away the scratchy feeling in his throat. He closes his eyes briefly, and sighs. It’s not that he didn’t know it before, but the realization that he’d do anything for you crashes into him. It hurts just a much as it gives him a sense of relief.

He can’t hear the way your heart beats in your chest, can’t hear the whirlpool of thoughts threatening to overflow in your mind, but maybe it’s for the best.

“Well! Come on then,” you startle him, words breaking through the silence. You lean forward to reach for the food, “This pasta isn’t gonna eat itself!”

A few days later, Sehun sees you off to your study session with Chanyeol. Study-date is probably the more appropriate term. If you hadn’t texted Chanyeol at all over the weekend to say something, Sehun was sure you’d speak up today.

Because, like a self-inflicting fool, Sehun brought it up just before you opened the door to exit his car; and completed his act by sending you his best smile and most supportive words. After confirming you’d safely entered Chanyeol’s house, he proceeded to slam his forehead against the top of his steering wheel for approximately seventeen minutes straight, before driving himself to Junmyeon and Minseok to wallow in his emotions. As per usual.

“So, you told the girl you’re in love with to ask out some other guy, and now you’re upset that she might have gone and done just that,” Junmyeon ponders, looking down at his lap where Sehun attempts to bury his face into the pillow resting upon it.

Sehun groans, kicking his feet a little like a child. Minseok tuts at him from the loveseat, “When we said talk to her I thought it was clear that you were supposed to ask her out. Not encourage her to ask someone else out.”

Sehun continues moping, laying dramatically on his back, half of his limbs falling off of the small couch. Maybe encouraging you to ask out the guy he’s extremely jealous of wasn’t the brightest idea he’s had in terms of his goals to ask you out—but if you wanted to date Chanyeol, then so be it. Sehun wasn’t irrational enough to try and push the taller out of the picture due to spite.

“Part of me admires you, Sehunnie,” Junmyeon starts, tapping his fingers against the younger’s forehead, “But I can’t help but think that you’ve been reading this wrong.”

“You mean like he’s been reading everything wrong,” Minseok scoffs, “Sehun can’t tell when certain people are in love with him. No wonder he falsely assumes the opposite for others.”

“You’re extra sarcastic today,” Sehun grumbles. “It’s not appreciated.”

“Sorry I’m not team watch Sehun’s existential crisis unfold,” Minseok grins, “I told you the only way this is ever going to work is if you talk about your feelings.”

Sehun whines this time, flipping himself onto his stomach to resume burying his head into the pillow. The older boys laugh at him, Junmyeon doing his best to comfort his friend with pats on the back, but it makes Sehun feel like a patronized toddler.

“I need a drink,” the youngest mumbles soon after, pulling his face from the plush, “Or food. Or both.”

Lazily, he pushes himself from the couch, turning in the direction of the kitchen. The others follow suit—Junmyeon out of concern for both their liquor and food supply, and Minseok for purely entertainment purposes.

A curious knock on the door stops all three of the boys in their tracks. Junmyeon and Minseok weren’t expecting anyone else over—anyone who knocks that is. That ruled out the possibility of it being Baekhyun immediately, and with Yixing away visiting his parents, neither of them could rack their brains for an expected guest.

Still, it’s Minseok who makes his way towards the entrance, gingerly stepping up on his toes to look through the peep hole before opening the door with a knowing grin.

He’s greeted by your even smaller, fuming figure. Hands balled into fists with a kindergarten-esque scowl on your face.

“Where is he?” you demand, marching into their apartment before receiving an answer.

Minseok simply chuckles, letting you storm into the living area, and closing the door behind you. Shocked, both Sehun and Junmyeon are at a standstill. The older is equal parts confused and concerned, but Sehun is petrified.

You stop abruptly in front of him, and Sehun opens his mouth to start spewing apologies—for whatever it is that you’re upset about, he’s not sure, but he knows a few are due—but he doesn’t have the chance to, before you’re fisting his shirt in your hand, and pulling him down into a kiss.

If Sehun could describe the feeling of an out-of-body experience, it would be this. Kissing you, being kissed by you; something he’s imagined, dare he say dreamt of. Despite his eyes fluttering shut, it’s like he’s watching himself being kissed,unable to wrap his head around that fact that you stood in front of him, pulled him towards you, and kissed him.

He doesn’t have time to consider relishing in the moment, either. Because he hears Minseok and Junmyeon wooing in the background, loud and obnoxious, and because you pull away, parting your lips from his.

There’s a storm of emotions brewing in your eyes, a similar phenomenon happening in his own; but before he has the chance, to act, to say anything, your scrunch your nose, and jostle his shirt in your hold.

“You think you can just tell me to go ask out Chanyeol—which I didn’t by the way, because I’m not exactly keen on looking like a clown—and then come here and sob into Junmyeon’s lap?”

Sehun blinks. “Well, it’s not that—I—”

“You are the biggest idiot I know,” you say, “Who tells the person they like to go ask out someone else?”

“A fool!” Minseok hollers. Sehun doesn’t even have the clarity of mind to toss him a glare.

Flustered, cheeks a little red, and neck very warm, he sputters, “I thought you liked him!”

“Hun, I don’t get it,” you frown, untwisting your hand from his shirt in favor of running your palms along the length of his arm, “Why would you want to see me with Chanyeol if you like me?”

Sehun sighs before inhaling deeply. Slowly, he bends his arms to rest his hands on either of your shoulders, gently tugging you closer. He stares at you, eyes watery with a mix of emotions even he couldn’t hope to make out.

Carefully, his hands tread upwards, gently cupping your jaw in his hold and tilting your head upwards. “Because I love you.”

“Exactly,” the word leaves your mouth in exasperation. Sehun watches the confusion dance in your eyes. “It clearly made you upset, so why encourage it?”

“I already told you,” he says, a soft smile on his lips, “Because I love you.”

“I don’t—you’d make yourself sad because you love me?”

Minseok’s right about a lot of things—(as much as he hates to admit it)—so maybe, just maybe, saying what’s on his mind will end this once and for all. For better, or for worse.

So he sighs, then lets out a breathless chuckle, before stepping just a millimeter closer. “I just want you to be happy. And if Chanyeol could have made you happy, I would bear the pain.”

He thinks you might cry, with the way your eyes grow cloudy. If you were going to, you do a good job at sweeping the tears away, offering him an ironic chuckle instead.

“I’m happy now, Sehun. You make me happy, idiot. I’m sorry, though, if I didn’t make that clear before. I should have just said it—and I was going to that day, but then you started talking about Chanyeol, so I figured you didn’t like me like that and—“

“I do,” he cuts you off quickly, thumb padding against your lower lip, “I love you.”

The tow of you just stand there, staring at each other, blissfully happy for a little bit, before Minseok reminds them you of his and Junmyeon’s presence.

“So, are you going to kiss her this time, or?” Minseok chimes in, the dirty grin on his face never left. From beside him, Junmyeon chuckles, eggs on the teasing to hide from the fact that he was ready to cry moments ago.

Sehun pulls you into him with a roll of his eyes, squeezing you into a hug. “Fuck off,” he mumbles, giving Minseok the finger behind your back.

The older chuckles, opting to further his embarrassment by snapping a picture. Junmyeon’s loud laughter permeates the living room, as he immediately receives the image. Sehun’s phone pings in his pocket and he groans, letting his chin rest atop your head—that means Baekhyun and Yixing have that picture too, which means Sehun’s life is over. Unfortunate, because he feels like it just began.

You pull away first, not before leaving a fleeting kiss against the fabric of Sehun’s shirt—and even so, the action makes him warm inside. He could get used to this.

“They’re never going to let me live this down,” he mumbles, peeking as the elders chuckle at something on Minseok’s phone. Sehun’s going to have to remove himself from every group he’s ever been in.

“Do you wanna get out of here,” you pull his attention back to you with a laugh, gently lacing your hands together, “Maybe get boba or something?”

And Sehun grins, squeezing your interwinted hands before dipping down to kiss the crown of your head, “Absolutely.”

He doesn’t even care to grab his jacket from the kitchen stool, opting to snag Junmyeon’s cardigan misshapenly strewn over the couch. With your hands tied, Sehun makes quick work of heading for the door, leaving his older friends chuckling at his tinted cheeks and hasty mannerisms.

He should have known trying to get out without one last jab would be borderline impossible.

“I hope boba is code for go home and make out!”

“Minseok!”

ϟ more author’s notes :: this is the first (and probably one of the very few) times i’ll ever formally write on this blog, mostly because it took me a year and day to even plan and begin to write this LOL i think i’ll stay in my lane and stick to fake texts and instagram posts, i’ve learned my lesson. ps: hope all you team sehun anons are happy—and if it wouldn’t have taken 5k more words of writing, i would have made her talk to chanyeol about it too just to create some drama :’)

1K notes · View notes

tundrainafrica · 3 years

Text

Title: Lovebug (8/12)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Notes: Feedback is very much appreciated :D

Levi put a hard deadline for Wednesday

“Wednesday” he said it again because he couldn’t be too certain how he said it the first time. He was conscious if he were too stiff, it might almost seem awkward. If he were too relaxed, maybe the urgency wouldn’t get across.

The challenge was finding the balance and when his team nodded, their faces unchanging, he realized it had been an easy task. They had gone through that same pattern before, especially before a large-scale quality assurance test, a recalibration of the application.

And the one on Monday was much larger, covering not just fifty volunteers, maybe even hundreds. When it was Zeke’s own connections that had managed to get that many volunteers, they couldn’t afford to delay it.

Levi cleared his throat and continued. “All fixes should be completed by Wednesday. All QA and regression tests by Friday,” Levi added. “The large scale QA test will be happening on Monday. No negotiations. No chances of rescheduling. ”

Aside from the number of volunteers, that QA test should not be anything different. Nothing much changed except perhaps the fact that Levi was in a constant state of compartmentalizing. He was working partly with outsourced labor to complete the code and to make sure someone was testing their new application. He was also working with his own team to make sure they were still addressing issues and realising fixes for the love alarm.

He liked the busy-ness, the need to be constantly thinking about work. Sometimes though, there were more distracting prospects that forced their way into his limited brainspace. And for some reason, his brain space was so willing to accommodate it.

More specifically, to accommodate her. Well, he had no choice anyway. After all, it was her application. It was his brain child but by extension, it was her and Zeke’s property.

He was constantly in a state of stress and Hange’s presence only made things more stressful. But somehow, his brain demanded he forced that extra piece of information, that piece of responsibility, that piece of Hange somewhere in his brain.

Just like he couldn’t say no to Zeke and Hange, he couldn’t say no to the manifestations of his own mind.

She never gave him a chance to say no. After all, she liked working in his office. She had made herself at home on the desk next to him and everyday he was reminded of that extra compartment his brain had created just for him.

All he had to do was enter the room and enjoy the view of her hunched over her laptop like she always was.

First thing in the morning, she was there. After meetings and standups with his team, he would go back to his office like always, and she was there.

That time, all test devices were lined on the desk, the whiteboard that only that morning had been covered with scribbles was replaced with something a little more coherent.

“You’re testing?” Levi sat next to her, counting ten devices before deciding it would be a waste of time to count further. He looked back up at her.

Hange nodded. “You updated the build last Friday right?”

“Just some fixes,” Levi said. The fixes came slowly, with more data being added, with the algorithm being tested here and there. It was still far from perfect though. He scanned the whiteboard just to get an inkling of her own progress. “How many pseudo emails do you have?” He could have counted it himself but once again, he gave up after ten.

“Enough to test on this many devices,” Hange said.

He read them out loud, taking note of the checkmarks..

Wingsoffreedom123

Wingsoffreedom213

Wingsoffreedom231

Wingsoffreedom321

Wingsoffreedom312

Wingsoffreedom132

“Creative,” Levi commented.

“Look, I just need a bunch of emails that are easy to remember so might as well stick to the same combination,” Hange said. “ You get it, Humanity’s strongest?”

Levi cringed inwardly. He should really go around changing that name. “Do you actually use those emails?” He asked.

“Sometimes, when applying for free trials, when making more than one account in websites.” Hange said. “I like keeping my own consumption patterns not connected to ‘Hange Zoe,’ if you know what I mean.”

“At least you’re able to make use of those emails for testing.” Levi pulled his chair a little closer to her and looked over her shoulder. “Is it working better?”

“It rings,” Hange said. “The last five times I tested, they said I was happy.” She chose that moment to click ‘activate’ on the next alarm. As expected, it rang again, the words ‘happy” flashed in the middle of the screen with an ugly smiley face in Arial font right under it.

It was a blatantly horrible sign that maybe they had spent a little too much time on the back end. Front end and user interface could be fixed a little later anyway, Levi reminded himself. He brought out his own test device and pressed the activate button.

The word ‘happy’ flashed across the screen. “Looks like they fixed a lot of the kinks,” Levi said.

“Are you happy?” Hange asked.

Those types of questions were the ones that had him a little more self aware. He didn’t answer immediately, instead, he left his natural instincts speak for themselves. A smile threatened to creep up his lips overwhelming the small part of him that wanted to push it down into something more subtle.

“Levi, are you happy?” Hange pressed, a hint of a laugh in her voice.

He was. He couldn't tell exactly why. Overall, it had seemed much easier, to just let the smile climb up his face so he gave it facility, freedom to move.

And soon, he didn’t regret it. Maybe because his own smile had been the reason Hange’s eyes got bigger before her features softened into something comfortable within a few seconds.

Before Levi could appreciate them a little more, her eyes suddenly narrowed, as if studying him. He noted all of it in her expression, the triumph, the victory lap in her expression, and the sneer particularly evident in her eyes.

He didn’t want her to win that little game they had for themselves. So he turned back, allowing time for the smile to fall into something less embarrassing. “Well, if the application says I’m happy, maybe I am.” He stood up again, holding his laptop to his side. “I’m going out for a break.”

***

Summer was ending soon.

And for Levi, the end was usually accompanied by the relief that he wouldn’t have to brave public transportation under the sweltering heat while dealing with an office dress code.

Strangely, he also found himself a little melancholic as he noted that red leaves were starting to sprout more frequently among the branches. He considered it almost an obligation to take a walk twice or thrice a week, especially during those last few weeks.

He would sit on one of the benches by the garden. To save time, he would bring his laptop every single time and he would always allow himself short in-betweens to enjoy his surroundings after long minutes of staring at the screen.

Like always, the trees were above him and the flowers were in front of him. When he looked down, he even enjoyed the grass and the cobblestone lined paths.

“You take the same route every time.”

Levi looked up, an instinctive reaction to that very familiar, almost intimate voice. “You followed me?”

“What if I wanted to take a walk too?” Hange asked.

“You're welcome to take a walk. I’m just gonna do some work here before going back inside,” Levi said. He looked back at the screen in front of him, trying to find something to make progress with as he monitored the workflow tracker.

Nothing much had changed or was expected to change, his own staff was probably on lunch break. He trusted them enough to be certain they would get most of their work done by Wednesday. And consequently, he was left with nothing much else to do but maybe take a lunch break too.

Hange sat right next to him on the bench and Levi pulled away, far enough to put a good few inches between them. “You’re going out more often now,” Hange said.

“I noticed I’ve been spending too much time indoors. I never really got to enjoy summer for what it was. We only get it three months a year.”

Hange gave him a knowing look. “And you only noticed it now? After living in this city your whole life?” She asked. “You’ve lived here your whole life right?”

“Yeah,” Levi said.

Hange shrugged. “You just never struck me as the type to enjoy weather, or nature in general. Back in the golf course, back in the ocean, you didn’t look like you wanted to be there,” she noted.

“Maybe it’s a recent thing,” Levi said. He kept it vague, not wanting to probe any complex topics when he was grappling with more important complex things.

Hange though, was a black hole of knowledge, a bundle overflowing with curiosity. “What makes it pretty? Why do you like taking walks?”

“Do we have to have a reason?”

“Well ever since I started to work closely with you, I started to notice something too,” Hange said. “You seem happier.”

“Maybe because Zeke is always busy.”

Hange snorted. “You really hate him don’t you?” She leaned a little closer. “And aren’t you at all nervous admitting it to me?” An overly playful demeanor accompanied such intimidating words. It was more laughable than terrifying.

Levi shook his head, unfazed. “I trust you wouldn’t tell him.”

“I wouldn’t,” she admitted. “I don’t blame you though.” She only had to give him an almost pitied look for him to read her mind.

He articulated it for her. “I never really recovered from those two all-nighters cramming an application.” That had been more than three months ago but the memory still burned as a faint memory of excruciating exhaustion and an unpleasant caffeine buzz that took weeks to brush off.

“You managed to impress the hospital admin at least. And we got the funds,” Hange said.

Does that make Zeke any more of an insufferable person? He had hoped to ask that with the face he gave Hange then, one eyebrow raised. If it didn’t send the message, he could easily say it out loud. That one pleasantry Zeke afforded him though that day in front of the convenience store echoed in his head. Even just coming up with an insult sent a wave of guilt through him.

A wave of guilt I don’t need to feel. Levi reminded himself, willing to recall the other instances the blond had been abrasive. Zeke was either a master manipulator or misunderstood. He was a billionaire though, so Levi decided to err on the side of ‘manipulator.’

“The funds go to the company, to the outsourcing activities and to server space,” Levi corrected.

“Don’t you have company shares?” Hange asked.

“A stock option,” Levi clarified. “Something I chose not to take. I’d rather get my money as is. I don’t trust myself to grow something of that much value.” He kept his answers vague, since he never did read the contract closely anyway, it was Erwin who went through the benefits with him.

“Well everyone else in the company who runs on stock options seems to trust you. Zeke’s own investment is riding on your own ability to make a good product...” My PhD dreams are riding on your product. Hange didn’t say that last part out loud but Levi heard it loud and clear.

“Well this pseudo love alarm project, it’s still far from perfect.” For emphasis, he opened up the new project entitled ‘emotion alarm project’ on his dashboard and slipped the laptop screen over to Hange. “Thirty percent done. We barely fixed the interface, just getting the required testing and data done is taking up a lot of resources.”

“I know that and I expected it,” Hange said. “You know, a PhD sometimes takes decades to complete and I’m ready to take that much time.”

“I just wanna manage your expectations. Besides, something about the testing still bothers me.”

“What about it?”

“Remember the first night I made the application?” He stifled a wince at the painful memory. “It didn’t ring… until you came in.”

“Maybe it was a bug?” Hange suggested. “It shouldn’t be too much of an issue right? Since you made a lot of improvements after.”

“I did,” Levi said.

“And it never happened again with the later builds.”

“It doesn’t but it works too much like the love alarm. Do you notice, it always rings when we’re nearby?”

“When we’ve already loaded millions worth of data points. When we’ve overseen that much testing with other people. I don’t think you have to think too hard about it. We just keep improving the application right? Same as the love alarm,” Hange explained.

“Maybe I’m just being cynical. It doesn’t work once and I can never trust it again,” Levi muttered as he scrolled through the tasks for the next release for the upteenth time since a while ago.

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re the one who came up with the project. You can never trust your own abilities to develop?"

"Or because I worked on it, at three in the morning, I tested it. I know how many shortcuts I took with it…" Levi trailed off as he started to focus a little more on the numbers, the titles on the task trackers.

"You know they did the research, the testing, if it works for them, if they have a good success rate, then maybe it works for us too? Maybe the app is right, we're happy when we’re next to each other. Sometimes we’re sad when we’re next to each other and sometimes we're angry. If this application is detecting moods like this… similarly to the love alarm, maybe it means we could--- "

"Get along?" Levi finished it for her. There were only so many things that code could mean anyway.

"Get along.... Or to get to know each other more." Hange said, her voice softer than a second ago. The smile took longer to leave her lips.

Hange though had always been good at composing herself but Levi had months to figure out patterns and trends in the way she navigated the more sensitive topics. He couldn't help but notice the heavy tension, even under the light summer breeze.

Those moments happened too often that Levi had prepared an escape route every time. Business talk. And they had a lot to talk about. "Hange, I wanna ask something about the front end," Levi scrolled back up, towards the top of the task trackers. Dealing with front end was a mammoth task, rifed with two many sub tasks but it was definitely one of the last priorities, if it was even a priority. Levi wasn’t the type to particularly mind releasing an application with a white background and an interface that used the very underwhelming Arial font.

But it was Hange and Zeke’s application.

"Ask away," Hange said.

It came easily after that. The ticket on his workflow tracker had an inkling of a script to follow. "What colors would you associate with emotions?" He asked.

"What?" Hange furrowed her brows.

Levi cleared his throat. Nevermind, it wasn't easy to come up with the question without a little more expounding. "Like would you say red is anger? Blue is sadness? Yellow is happiness?"

"Wait? Why?" Hange asked again. Her lips were curled up just a little higher.

"I'm thinking of the front end of the application. What colors do you see for each emotion?"

"Yellow for happiness," Hange answered easily.

"Not orange?" Levi challenged. He had opened up the task and started to take notes.

"Orange is way too angry for me."

"Red seems much angrier," Levi said

"Red is anger definitely but I'm not seeing bright red, I'm seeing something like orange."

Levi opened up a color wheel. " So this red?" Levi asked.

"No, bright reddish orange," Hange corrected. It may have been a coincidence or just a trick of convenience but a red leaf had fallen on her lap at that moment. Hange picked it up, and twirled it and held it in front of Levi like a token.

“So... autumn red?” Levi asked.

Hange dropped the leaf on his lap. “I guess.” She raised her eyebrow. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Was he giving her a strange look? His mind sometimes formed opinions as he spoke and Hange had always been receptive anyway so he verbalized it, just for her. “When I’m angry, I see red,” Levi admitted.

“I haven't felt really angry in a while, so I wouldn’t know,” Hange said. “Maybe it changed.”

“Sadness?” Levi asked.

Hange turned to him questioningly. “Tell me yours first.”

“Grey,” Levi said automatically.

“Blue,” Hange said, as if it were the truest fact in the world.

A fact Levi was compelled to question. “Why blue?”

“Why not blue?”

“Blue doesn’t seem sad….”

“Why not?” Hange pressed.

“It seems…” Levi started, only realizing seconds later, he was unable to come up with the right words.

“Too nice?” Hange suggested.

“It’s a nice color. It makes me feel good just looking at it.” It was a pathetic response. With such a complex thought, to even force out of his mouth, he had to channel his inner child, through the most child-like attempts at articulation.

“Okay, I know it doesn’t feel good to be sad but.. don’t you think sadness is a beautiful feeling?” Hange asked.

“No.” It should have been a natural answer. Somehow, Levi felt like there was something else worth listening to.

Hange saw reason to continue at least. “You wouldn’t be feeling sad, if you never felt happy in the first place, if you’ve never felt desire or love. There are feelings much worse than being sad for sure.”

“Like what?”

“Not feeling at all maybe?” Hange surmised. “So maybe the strongest feelings, whether good or bad, are still nice… maybe something worth indulging.”

And it was turning into a philosophy lesson. How many hours had he wasted listening to Hange prattle on about emotions and concepts of love? They weren’t hours wasted for sure, but they did leave him feeling just a little sad at times. Once again, he went back to business talk. Levi looked back at his workflow tracker. “So ‘blue sad, yellow happy, red angry…”

“Do you really think sadness is grey?” Hange asked.

Levi looked up from his laptop and straight towards Hange. "Look, I don't think much about what color my emotions are…” He trailed off. He could have said more maybe. Speaking while reflecting turned out to be a daunting task at that moment.

Maybe sadness was grey. That had seemed like the most natural conclusion at first. He focused for a little longer on the view in front of him, the view of Hange and behind her the open grounds that made way for blue sky and the blue burned into his eyes, enough to make him feel something in his chest then down to his stomach. Before he knew it, he started to entertain Hange’s own idea.

When Hange looked back at him, the open sky behind her, he felt stinging at the back of his eyes, he let his face fall.

The color overall had been burning at first. The more he stared, the more he noticed its more lasting qualities. It turned out blue wasn’t burning, it was subdued, mild. At the same time, the clear endless shade of blue in the sky behind her did wonders to accentuate her features. Enough of a reminder to leave another twinge in his chest, that time it was slightly painful.

A twinge of sadness. Emotions may be difficult to comprehend but whatever clarity that washed over him then had been enough of a motivator to speak up. “I think you’re right, sadness is blue,” he said. A beautiful blue.

He found himself searching for the prettiest shades on the color wheel, looking back up at the sky, then to the yellow streaks from the sun that hit the pavement. He then turned his head towards the garden where red roses grew. From a distance, from above, they were supposed to form a heart.

“Yeah, red and yellow too. Red hurts, it’s glaring, Sometimes yellow is too bright but all together, they make the garden beautiful. Like this courtyard,” Hange said. She stretched her legs out onto the stony path just in front of the bench and shifted her weight to the palms of her hands.

“Yeah, it is.” Levi nodded.

“It’s colorful,” Hange said. “Bright reds, bright greens, bright blues, bright yellows. They’ll all only be here together until the end of summer.” She wrapped her arms around herself, a wistful smile on her face.

“You like summer?” Levi asked. “It’s fucking hot.”

“I like summer and spring. What can I say? I like seasons with a lot more variety of color,” she answered. “ I always get a little sad when summer ends. Surprisingly though, I’m sadder than usual about this summer ending.”

“Why?”

Hange shrugged. “I can’t even explain it for myself. It’s ridiculous that I’m this sad about summer ending. I usually get like this when I’m out of the city but I haven’t even been out in the countryside in a while but somehow, I’m already imaging the larger, wider landscapes up north. I’m imagining how quickly the trees go bald… Green then red then blue. And how quickly skies turn from blue to just a constant gray and when the lakes just freeze over, turning from blue to a more of black… It’s sad to imagine.”

“I can imagine it,” Levi said. He didn’t leave the city often since there wasn’t much spare funds to work with. He was capable of empathizing though, after all the twinge of sadness remained and it had been surprisingly easy to channel it elsewhere.

“There are places up north that have the most beautiful springs and summers but when the leaves change… everything dies much more quickly.” Hange lowered her head.

“Maybe one day, I’ll check it out,” Levi said. He found himself picturing the logistics of a trip already. Having never used his leaves, having built up disposable income through a lack of drive to even form a life outside work, he realized he did have leeway to indulge just a bit. Somehow, Hange’s own thoughts were enough to inspire.

“You haven’t been up north?” Hange gaped.

“I didn’t have much money growing up and there’s no reason to.”

“I should take you up north. You know, the gardens up there, the rolling hillsides. They remind me of Pemberley,” Hange said.

“Pemberley?”

“Pemberley! Mister Darcy’s estate.”

Levi groaned inward. That book again.

“Elizabeth visited towards the end of the book and there are a bunch of old houses around there and when I would walk on the fields, I like to pretend I’m in the book.”

“Relive your rags to riches fantasy?” Levi asked bitterly.

Hange pouted. “It’s not just that. Besides, I wasn’t poor, you know. My parents managed to pay tuition to a good college with no debt.”

Not as rich as Zeke definitely. The banter might just get out of control so Levi went with a conservative digression. “Maybe I’ll go there one weekend, up north before summer really ends.”

“Maybe, I’ll take you there myself,” She said, an excited grin on her face. “Maybe after this weekend or next year if we’re too late. I told Zeke about how I was feeling lately, so for my birthday, he promised he’ll take me up north so we’re going this weekend.”

Levi choked. “Wait, birthday? When’s your birthday?” It turned out to be a burning question, a small fact Levi felt obligated to know. So the answer couldn’t have come any slower.

When Hange opened her mouth ready to speak, the universe decided for them that it definitely could come a little later. His phone rang, breaking that brief silence, prolonging the painful anticipation.

Petra Ral. For some reason, he expected the worst when any of his subordinates called. He answered the phone. “Petra, is everything okay?”

“Sorry about calling. I tried texting you but you weren’t replying.” Petra went straight to the point soon after that. “Some of the members of the other project offered to help out with testing. Do we have enough phones?”

They did have enough test devices, the pile on Hange’s desk was enough proof of that. “Yes we do,” Levi said. They were all in his office. He turned to Hange questioningly. It was her blank face that reminded him, they’d have to look through the phones themselves to see what devices they could wipe.

“I’ll meet you by the office,” Levi said. “Hange and I are going back now.”

He hung up the phone and turned to Hange. “Petra is gonna borrow some of the test devices. You’re okay with that?”

“Sure, I’ll help you wipe them,” Hange said. “Are we going back now?” She seemed hesitant, a closer look and Levi could see a hint of disappointment.

He closed his laptop. “We have to get back to work right?”

“You never even stopped working,” Hange accused.

“I stopped long enough to listen to you ramble on about that damned book and your nice vacations.”

Hange walked on, seeming deep in thought. “Hey Levi… What do you think of Petra?” It was an abrupt digression.

“What about Petra?”

“Have you ever considered dating her?”

Levi stifled a choke, letting it out as a peaceful clearing of the throat. “Why are you asking that?”

Hange shrugged, as she walked ahead. . “Nothing, she seems like a nice person and she seems to like you… Besides, she rings your alarm.” She looked back at him, a playful grin on her face.

Levi sighed. That wasn’t a question he would have liked to broach.

“Well?” Hange pressed.

But maybe he could give some vague answer in exchange for some information. “I’ll tell you. If you tell me something."

"Tell you what?"

"What are your plans for your birthday?”

***

Levi was tricked, treated, bamboozled. Hange had a way with words, a way of just pushing the right buttons. It could have been that or it could have been a series of convenient circumstances and conversation topics that had Levi there, at the front of the mall after work with Petra right next to him.

On the bright side, he had Hange’s birthdate, her plans for that Friday all the way until the weekend. That was enough to satisfy his own curiosity. Over time though he realized, that was all it did.

Was it worth it?

Back when he and Hange had been discussing it, it seemed like a good exchange, she satisfied his curiosity, he satisfied hers. Hange had given her due information. In exchange, she received information on Petra, the long QAs, her alarm ringing, the amount of effort Petra put into her job and just the occasional present that made their way to his desk.

While Hange’s own information went so far as to give the name of the restaurant, the time and the route of their roadtrip, Levi’s own information evolved into something else. Before he even knew it, Hange had created a new agenda of her own.

Your love alarm would ring with Petra right?

It did. Of course, in front of the mall, surrounded by other people wasn’t the best place to test it. There was no reason to either. Ever since Petra joined them more than a year back, the love alarm had always rang and Petra had enough professionalism, enough of a handle on her own feelings to mark it as ‘accurate.’

Admirable? Definitely. Date worthy? Did he ever consider dating her long enough to deem her date worthy? ‘Maybe not’ to both questions.

Have you ever considered dating Petra? Hange brought up that question during their conversation and Levi felt almost guilty for the straight up ‘no,’ and the shallow ‘she’s too young for my taste’ reason.

She could have been too young. Still, Hange seemed more like a counselor for that exchange and she made some good points.

Assuming the love alarm didn’t have a bug, and the reading was accurate… Hange first set her premise.

The premise could have been accurate. No, it definitely was. Petra’s own approach towards him only served to extinguish any doubts.

Levi and Petra settled for an early dinner at some restaurant towards the end of the mall. Not for the food, nor for the pricing but for the convenience of being able to sit down after the twenty minute walk and a long day up on their feet back in the office.

And Petra had been excited to sit down in front of him. She rushed ahead and slipped into the booth, even before Levi had slipped himself into the small gap between table and chair. He allowed himself enough focus to scan through the menu and digest the names of the dishes at least. He hadn't bothered to even spare a good look at the board outside nor what the hell the other customers were eating and thus, he was excruciatingly slow.

On top of that, he was exhausted from a day of work and most days, he wouldn’t have bothered to go on a date, not with a colleague at that.

It’s not a date. Levi reminded himself. He shouldn’t be dating subordinates. That was another source of stress at that moment.

A few times Levi looked up at the menu, making some ingenious excuse about how he couldn’t decide and how he needed some blank space to help clear his mind before he tried to decide again. Every single time he looked up, he had to internally make an excuse because Petra was staring right at him.

“Have you decided what you want to get?” Petra asked, her voice was a song. She propped her elbows on the table, a rude gesture in most places. She managed to subdue rudeness by propping her chin on top, a look of seemingly genuine interest in her face.

Seemingly. Who the hell was he kidding, she probably was genuine about it. If it wasn’t his own instinct that could be relied on, he could at least trust the love alarm that had rung with no fail since she joined the company in the first place.

“I’ll get the fried chicken meal.” Levi didn’t particularly like fried chicken. He had been a little too self conscious of how long he had stared at her and back at the menu, how long the awkward silence between them lasted and he soon realized, he had to order quickly, even if he didn’t know yet what else he was missing.

“You wanna get tea? We could share a pot,” Petra suggested as she put down her own menu.

Levi could have finished a pot on his own. He wasn’t telling her that though, especially not right after too many close encounters with what could have been inappropriate. “Sure.” Levi nodded a little faster, hoping that was enough to feign excitement.

The waiter came and went with the menus on hand and Petra started to ask questions, questions that were invasive enough that Levi had a hard time thinking two things at once.

They weren’t too personal. In fact, they weren’t about him anyway. Levi started to figure that for himself when he got his bearings. “What about Hange?” Levi asked. He was stalling, finding ways to untangle his hairball of thoughts.

“You were asking me right? About any advice on what to give Hange for her birthday?” Petra asked.

“Yes, I did.” Why did he forget?

Assuming the love alarm didn’t have a bug, and the reading was accurate, that means this ‘love’ between me and Zeke is one sided.

“Well, we could check out a few shops nearby. You could buy her something that could help her with organization. Diaries, bookmarks, pencil cases, wallets…” The list went on and the contents had started to become unbearably boring. Really, would Hange have enjoyed those?

But I don’t think it’s one sided. Love is a choice right? I can choose to love him. So if you and Petra---

Me and Petra. There were too many things wrong with it, a boss and a direct report, a conflict of interest.

But she seems genuine. She seems like a good person. And maybe she could be worth pursuing.

She’s my direct report. He argued then.

But if you decide to pursue a relationship, you can always just reshuffle, right?

Petra continued to talk. “Does she like tea? We could give her a tea bag. The one I bought you last Christmas… it took me months to find it…” She brought out her phone and started to scroll, seeming too deep in thought. She furrowed her brows and bit her lip, as if the extra effort hurt..

An unnecessarily vigorous effort over a simple request from him. Guilt was an unwelcome feeling but it was also incredibly tenacious, like a cockroach. His mind was becoming more receptive to painful speculation as he watched Petra grapple over her choices, and he wasn’t at all being helpful.

Guilt was the rising action. Then everything fell into place soon after, not into place, more like a chaotic order, like a ton of bricks.

And that order made his feelings more intelligible.

He didn’t want to be in a relationship with Petra. That was all there is to it.

Love is a choice right? A tiny glimmer of protest made itself known in the silence. Those were words from Hange, echoed multiple times before in an exact tone and manner only Hange could ever pull off.

Can I choose to love Petra? Levi asked himself then.

Petra was a nice girl. She was helpful. She worked hard. She was competent. More importantly, she was single and she wasn’t married to his very rich client.

Most importantly though, in the grand scheme of all his experiences and emotions, Levi had to point out to himself, she wasn’t Hange.

Why don’t you give her a chance? Hange had asked that then. She goaded him, nudged him and pushed him out of his own office, to follow after Petra had left the office with the devices.

It's frowned upon, boss colleague relationship. Levi had argued.

Something tells me she likes you. Hange continued, as if she never heard of the unspoken taboos of office relationships. Maybe she hadn’t.

Besides, I noticed… You know, you look a lot happier. How that had ended up the conclusion of their conversation, Levi couldn't exactly tell. He remembered looking up at Hange, to hell with how far down his jaw dropped or how wide his eyes were. There was just something special about Hange pointing out something and how quickly something could easily become a certain reality when someone just verbalized it.

Maybe he was happier, maybe he started to appreciate nature a lot more. Maybe he had started to see more color the past few months.

His own recall of Hange, his own thoughts that flew back to her had him perceptive of the variety on his plate, the decorations on the shop for just a split second and when he looked up to Petra, a part of him was at the least attempting to appreciate.

Petra was a redhead, her hair fell in a neat bob that barely brushed her shoulders. Red was a nice color on hair, and Levi only noticed it then. He stared for a while longer, trying to find something to feel, something to think beyond ‘nice.’

Petra’s eyes shot up and she met his gaze. “This is it!”

“What?” Levi asked, almost instinctively. He felt a tad self conscious analyzing the shade of someone’s hair.

“I found the tea, the one I gave you last Christmas. You really liked it right?” Petra asked.

“The Jasmine Pearls?” He did remember the tea then he remembered telling her he really did enjoy it. A part of him had maybe forgotten for a split second that it was Petra who gave it so the question had shaken him more than necessary.

“I was only able to get it from a shipment last time. I had to book three months to get it. But they’re on sale now and---”

“She might prefer coffee though...” Levi said. His own intention had been to find the perfect present, but he ended up feeling guilty as soon as he saw Petra’s reaction.

Her face fell. She turned back to her phone for just a second before fixing her eyes back to his. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for that, I can’t believe I got so excited.” A blush crept up her face.

“No. Don’t think about it like that.” Levi attempted to maintain at least a ghost of a laugh in his tone. The last thing he wanted to do was keep Petra unnecessarily uncomfortable, especially after everything that had happened until that moment.

The air was heavy and he wondered if she noticed it too. She was probably too preoccupied with her own self proclaimed mistakes, very evident by the beet red of her face.

“Let’s go around first. We might come up with something better if we ask around the shops,” Levi suggested. It had been more to comfort her than anything else. The suggestions of a while ago, the list of items had only served to make Levi think a little deeper about it, to the point of acceptance.

Even before they had finished their food, Levi had already concluded for himself, whatever he gave Hange, whether it be a wallet, tea, a small trinket, Zeke had probably come up with a more expensive version, something he probably would have never considered buying himself.

Levi didn’t leave though. Soon after they finished eating, he still accompanied Petra to every shop. He made a facade for himself, a window shopper buying a birthday gift for a good friend, he asked enough questions to engage Petra, everything ending with the conclusion, “I’ll think about it.”

Overtime, he realized he wasn’t thinking too much of what was in front of him. His mind was elsewhere.

Besides, I noticed… You know, you look a lot happier. Hange was smiling when she said it, but the smile didn’t curl the same way the others did. She crinkled her eyes as she spoke but Levi could almost point out the sadness in them.

And he saw it every time he recalled that. What does that have to do with dating Petra?

I like seeing you happy and I think if you found someone to love, maybe you’ll stay like this much longer.

Like what?

More pleasant? Smiling more often? Appreciating stuff outside work?

Hange talked for longer after that but that had worked to motivate him to invite Petra out to get to know her, to ask for advice for a gift for Hange. Somehow, a part of him wanted to take Hange’s advice, stay ‘happy’ so in his own way, he could prove her right and maybe by extension, make her happy too.

But was entertaining a relationship with Petra the right way?

The question burned for longer. Even after they exhausted all the shops and all the ideas that came with it. It was around eight in the evening when they stood by the train station under the mall, exchanging goodbyes. “Make sure to get home safe.” A part of him had considered taking her home. Their trains went in completely opposite directions though.

“Will do,” Petra said.

“We have a long day ahead tomorrow.” They always had a long day ahead but at that point, Levi was foraging for something a boss would say.

“Yeah, I'll make sure to get the testing done tomorrow," Petra said. "What happened today, it definitely gave me the motivation. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.” His response was automatic, something he didn’t want to think too much of.

They separated soon after and when Levi boarded the train home, he entertained the question again.

Was entertaining a relationship with Petra the right way to be happy?

I think entertaining love is an opportunity to be happy at least. Hange argued. You don’t have to jump into it but I think building a relationship with someone teaches you a lot and love, it makes life colorful.

Colorful? The trains were grey, the suits of all the passengers were shades of black, grey and the occasional blue. An almost alarming transformation from the gardens, after long days of working with Hange.

A copy of the emotions alarm was downloaded onto his phone and in the silence of the long ride home, he opened it again. He clicked ‘activate,’ the application loaded, no emotion was detected.

It was a fun night right? Levi concluded, there really was some more to improve on in the application. With the amount of testing done, and the amount of data loaded, he also had to entertain the idea that maybe it wasn’t an issue with the application.

Maybe it was his own issue with appreciating, with being open to love. “That’s what you were saying, right Hange?” He whispered to himself. A second later, he thought maybe he had said it loud enough to sound like an idiot.

Before nervousness and overthinking could take over again, he willed himself to mull over Hange’s words like always.

Love is a choice and just be open to it. Even if he didn’t believe it for himself.

***

It turned out, Erwin also knew about Hange’s birthday. And he suggested a basket of fruit as a gift.

Levi had been a little surprised. For one, maintaining partner and customer relations was never part of his job so how the hell was he to know that baskets of fruits and cakes were customary.

And secondly, he was just a little indignant. Erwin was his boss though so he couldn’t tell him that. He complied before going back to his office and booting up his laptop. It felt odd.

The laptop pinged with a characteristic echo and it was much louder in the silence, the almost deafening silence. After all, most days, Hange would have been there to chatter his ear off about her own experience testing.

That day, she had taken the day off. A birthday leave. Just for herself. She took September four and September five off. The fourth was to prepare for the long trip. Then on the fifth, she had dinner with Zeke, in an Italian restaurant on the first floor of a luxury hotel near the city center.

He knew the details, he knew the name. But it has nothing to do with you. He constantly reminded himself, it was only on a good to know basis. Still, he entertained the idea that maybe he could stop by the city center on the train on the way home, just for the modicum of a probability that he did run into them. It was not like he had anything else to do on a Friday night anyway.

But you can think about that tomorrow. Levi scolded himself. Somehow, Hange not being there was making it more difficult to focus. After all, she had been there, every single day before.

Also, how could he entertain multiple other ideas about Hange’s birthday when he didn’t even have a present for her? He had managed to put off Petra’s suggestions lightly, by some distraction from work. He had managed to make a good excuse of the fruit basket, saying that it was better to give a gift as a company.

Really, it had been his own insecurity stopping from putting any money into anything. Zeke could buy Hange a billion wallets, a billion tea bags, a billion fruits basket if it suited him. Then it begged the question for Levi, what could he give that Zeke couldn’t?

The emotion alarm. The answer didn’t come quickly. It came after staring at the desktop screen for long enough to lose grip on the time but after a long moment of doing nothing, Levi eventually brought out a test device and opened the server.

There were three basic emotions. Anger, Sadness and Happieness. Those were the three Hange put into her plan. They were to create the application, test it among patients and study it to see how it could help with more accurate prognosis.

And if he went the extra mile, maybe he could just give it as a late birthday surprise. Or maybe he might end up never finishing it. At least I’d try. That last thought lingered for a second longer and it did its part to send a burst of confidence through him.

He looked through his workflow tracker. No assigned bugs to look into. So he opened a new document, pulled out a paper.

“Hange Zoe, you wanted to test emotions right?” He asked no one in particular. When he was asking questions out loud, ideas ended up flowing much faster. He pulled out a small paper from the post-it stack at the corner of his desk.

“What if we connect it to the web, make a dashboard to display reports, so maybe psychologists have something to look at after testing?” He could have said it out loud. Maybe he didn’t. He had said it loud enough in his head at least to keep his gears moving. “What if we find a way to quantify it?” That last part was ambitious. It would need Hange’s input for sure so he grappled with two ideas, surprising Hange and just suggesting it like a developer.

His ideas were risks, born of long hours of googling enough to maybe bullshit years of studying psychology. Maybe Hange wouldn’t agree, maybe she would. He copied the necessary code from the alarm anyway and decided to just play around with it.

It was a birthday present only he could give anyway.

Another idea popped into his head after an hour more of googling, a much more doable idea. Even before he made sense of it, he pulled another post-it from the side and wrote out the three emotions. Underneath them, he wrote the colors. Red. Blue. Yellow.

Yellow and red became orange. Red and blue became purple. Yellow and blue became green.

He wasn’t a psychologist, he wasn’t a philosopher. He was merely a developer. He was an experienced one at that and with the right amount of free time and the right amount of motivation, he managed at least to pull out a framework and recall the color of the leaf on Hange’s lap.

Red. Yellow. Blue. Orange. Green. Purple. He had enough time to work on some front end tasks that day.

***

He finished it on Friday, the fifth of September, at around noon and maybe he had done a few hours of overtime to get it done, arriving home at midnight just the night before.

It wasn’t perfect but the colors showed up as a big dot under the emotion, and the application would flash in bright shades of red, yellow, blue, orange, green and purple, the latter three a mix of the basic emotions.

It had been a small act of just manipulating the data, loading Hange’s USB full of data to get it to work. Whether it would be accurate, he couldn’t tell but it would be something good to bring up on Monday maybe, a risky birthday present but still, a little risk seemed better than omission when it came to Hange.

The last few parts were a little tests on his end, while testing in between, while signing off necessary decisions for the testing on Monday.

The testing never worked, no emotions flashed onto the screen the few times he tested and every single time, he reminded himself, it wasn’t perfect but maybe Hange would still appreciate it.

By five, he was out, right on time and with his own personal project completed and downloaded into his phone, his workflow tracker empty, and everything ready for the large scale QA event on Monday and he thought himself a little deserving of a little stroll at the city center on a Friday night.

At around thirty minutes past five, he boarded the train, the same route home, stopping five stops shy of his usual stop.

The station at the city center on a Friday night was bustling. It had taken him a good one minute to even push himself out of the train. He only ever managed to get a glimpse of the shops, the city lights beyond the crowds not when he stepped out of the station, but a few blocks after that when for a good few minutes the crowds dissipated into something a little more breathable.

The luxury hotel Hange had mentioned was one, if not the best one in the city and Levi easily picked it out as he stood towards one of the less saturated parts of the crosswalk. It was a skyscraper, the windows were of the modern kind that reflected city lights in a unique way and they covered the building from top to bottom. And even from just his peripherals, he could pick the building out by the strange iridescent flashes of color.

The view was very much worth the price and Levi only had to walk ahead, catch it as a small glimmer behind buildings and crowds to know he was going the right direction, despite having to ride through the crowds.

He arrived at the block, the building only a few feet away, close enough that he had to strain his neck to get a glance of the skyscraper at the top. He looked back down at his phone.

6:30. Hange said they had a reservation for seven. He wondered why he was putting himself through that torture. Would he even get to talk to her? Eventually he realized, might as well make use of that information just to satisfy his curiosity again.

The restaurant was a small place, with glass windows, and if Levi stared long enough he could make out every single face there. For a Friday, it was still empty and he was able to conclude without much of a long glance that Hange wasn’t there.

So he took a good long stroll around the block. He entered leather shops, boutiques that sold branded clothing, staying long enough that the salesman had thought he would have bought.

Thirty minutes passed with a few bumps along the way. Sometimes minutes lasted years, sometimes they lasted split seconds but the bumpy wait was long enough for him to realize that he was doing something completely stupid.

It was Hange's birthday. That was Hange and Zeke's night. All he could give her that day was a greeting, and maybe a basket of fruits, care of Erwin.

So he planned a birthday message, saving it in the drafts. He didn’t have to give her the modified birthday application as a present. He could always prepare a script to pitch his suggested changes for the application on Monday. Disappointment and surrender had him lethargic and for a while after exiting the last store, Levi leaned back on some free brick wall where the space was for rent, a good distance away from the sea of people but still close enough that if he just stretched out his arm, he might just get dragged in.

He leaned back and stared, allowing himself that bout of reprieve as he watched the crowds go by. Crowds of people weren’t anything new, he dealt with those everyday trying to squeeze into the trains during rush hour every morning.

Crowds on a Friday, in the center of the city weren’t something he was completely used to though. He hated crowds and he always strategically timed his personal shopping trips to late afternoons on weekdays, particularly when it was much easier to maintain a comfortable distance from strangers.

When he was observing, time went by at a sluggish pace. For a while, Levi was hypnotized by the strange cadence that accompanied the view. The longer he stared, the more perceptive he became. There was a very big difference between crowds on a weekday during rush hour and crowds on a Friday night moving through a shopping district.

When he was close enough, he immediately picked it out, like a very small diamond in a sea of coal, invisible at first but from the right angle, it suddenly became crystal clear. Crowds in rush hour comprised hard, focused individuals. They were like streams: movements were loud, hard wired towards one direction.

Crowds on a Friday night were more like a river, they were moving but only barely, very subtly. Of course they would, the faces were relaxed, the people were rarely alone. Some clusters in the crowds came as one family, others came in groups of friends and others came in couples.

The more faces Levi scanned, the heavier he became. It dawned on him soon after he was alone in crowd of people and he was fucking lonely. For a second he considered testing his application, he decided soon after that he probably didn’t want a bunch of code rubbing his own loneliness and singleness in his face. For another second, he almost considered inviting Petra over.

Shaking both temporal thoughts away, Levi turned the corner and back to the main road, making some excuse that the main road which passed the five star hotel was the closest way back to the station. It was a valid conclusion at least, the main road was wide enough, and the shops were few and far in between that social distancing wasn’t too big of an issue.

There was another conclusion Levi liked to entertain though. He checked his watch. 7:30.

Hange had said before, the reservation was at seven. He dove into a crowd, while catching a glimpse of the restaurant to the window. Hange was surprisingly easy to spot, maybe because Levi had first swept through the seats on the corner with his vision. He spotted the brown hair, the glasses and a dark purple cocktail dress. Notably, there was no blond companion in front of her.

Zeke was in the toilet, his rational mind justified. “Have fun, Hange,” Levi said. At least he got to see her on her birthday, he allowed himself a passing thought on how well she had dressed up that night, similar to months ago when he had completed the test app. Then he brushed that thought away, looked straight ahead. He stayed with the sea of people, long enough to pass the hotel and as soon as he was a good distance away, he broke away, taking the underground path to the station.

It was still early and the station entrance was surprisingly more peaceful than above ground. He had enough space to open up his phone and check the birthday greeting in his drafts box.

Happy birthday Hange! Excited to continue working with you. See you on Monday for app testing. Btw, thanks for volunteering for the calibration on Monday.

He evaluated for himself that the text was a good balance between casual and professional. Satisfied, Levi clicked send and pocketed his phone as he made his way to the ticket gate.

The next time he opened his phone was in the train, three train stops in when he was lucky enough to catch an empty seat.

Thanks, Levi :)

It was too short of a message for Levi to read through and he was almost disappointed at such a turn out.

What did you expect, an ‘I love you?’ The tremble in his lips was enough evidence, that maybe a part of him did, as embarrassing, as ridiculous of a prospect as it was. He hovered his thumb over the keyboard, letting the weight of the incomprehensible emotions pass before he typed.

See you on Monday. That’s what he had wanted to type, just to keep the conversation going. Hange was still typing though.

Levi was staring at the bubbles above the message box for a good long few minutes. Minutes, it definitely took minutes. Hange was typing long enough for a station to announce a next stop, enough for the train to empty at that stop, enough for it to refill and enough for the conductor to announce the next stop,

The text eventually came. Where are you right now?

How the hell had that taken minutes to write, Levi didn’t know. He wasn’t eager to reciprocate though.

He replied within a few seconds. Why?

Hange took a little longer to reply. The bubble on the screen continued to bounce as Hange Zoe continued to type.

Nothing much. I was just curious. It had taken almost another train stop for Hange to type those six words.

A split second later, another message appeared underneath. Sorry for bothering you. So Hange wasn’t just a slow typer.

It was still eight in the evening, too early that for most, the night hadn’t even started. So Levi took a risk. He left the train at the next stop, boarded the other train that ran through that same line, the train that would bring him back to the city center.

Hange, you okay? He texted.

Hange didn’t reply. There was no bouncing of bubbles above the message box, but he continued to stare, just in case. And that little motion on the screen was a fickle thing.

Sometimes it appeared, sometimes it didn’t.

Hange Zoe is typing.... And sometimes, he stared at it for long enough that it seared into his vision even a minute after it was long gone from the screen.

She never did type anything and maybe he had waited too long for a response. By the time he arrived at the right station again, he tapped his card and exited the ticket gate and ran through the underground. When he reached above ground, he tried to maintain the same speed. That involved pushing through crowds and being a small man, he realized it wasn’t too much of a bother to anyone. After all, with the amount of people huddled in the crowds under the cool air of late summer, he wasn’t the only one pushing.

He didn’t have time to check his phone. And soon, he realized he didn’t need to. He arrived back at the hotel to find Hange hunched over, unmoving in the same seat she had been just a few hours back.

Zeke is in the toilet. Levi told himself. He waited a minute, then another. And when he looked closely, he realized, Hange was on her phone. He opened his phone to see the bubbles bounce again.

Hange Zoe is typing…

Levi was counting minutes, and the bubble never disappeared. He looked back up at the glass door to see Hange was still not moving, still slouched, her head bent over. To the phone on her lap maybe?

He looked back at his phone and concluded then, Hange had been typing for ten minutes.

Maybe Zeke is taking a shit. He set an alarm for ten minutes. The hotel and restaurant bathroom wouldn’t be too far. And no one took a shit for more than twenty minutes right? If Zeke didn’t come back in ten minutes, maybe that meant she was alone.

Ten minutes went by quickly. And a few times Hange had typed, a few times she had laid her phone on the table and leaned back on the chair. A waiter had offered wine once and Hange shook her head.

It would be rude to barge in but at the same time, there were answers he was desperate to get. He sent a message. Are you alone?

The typing stopped for a second. Then it continued for a minute. Then it stopped. Finally, like the sunshine after the rain, a chat bubble appeared and Levi savored the sound for a split second before he took in the contents.

Just one word. Yeah

Where’s Zeke?

He’s not coming tonight.

Levi leaned on the wall just next to the window and typed one message. You need someone there with you?

A few times he glanced back to see a waiter near her, handing Hange a small tray. The bill? He guessed. Hange should be going out soon but she continued to sit, for a few seconds longer.

Her reply came within those few seconds. I don’t wanna be alone tonight.

Levi leaned back on the wall and he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, grappling with the conflict. Should he be happy? Sad?

His phone continued to buzz. Hange had left messages in succession.

Can I stop by?

I know a lot of places won’t be open.

We can get fast food.

Somewhere near your place maybe?

Anywhere that would be convenient for you.

Only if you’re not busy though.

Don’t feel obliged.

A string of messages, longer than he expected.

Exit the shop. Turn right and follow the sidewalk. Don’t cross the street. He was shit at the directions, but he decided for himself, she would ask anyway if she got lost.

It turned out, at the least, the directions sufficed. Soon he was hearing the clack of leather shoes, the rustle of a light autumn coat and Hange’s voice.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was loud and clear even when it was competing with the sea of crowds, the other background conversations, the ads and the sound of traffic. Of course it would be, she was right next to him.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked. It wasn’t the best greeting but it felt like the most natural thing to say.

After all, Hange was smiling but it was an unusual smile. It was one of those smiles that seemed to be carrying a heavy weight. He figured it out after staring for a while longer. it was the weight of her cheeks, the prickling of her eyes. If she let the smile go, maybe everything would have fallen with it.

He gripped her by the hand. “You wanna go somewhere?”

“Let’s get out of here,” Hange said, a noticeable crack in her voice.

Maybe that had been enough to break the fragile smile on her face. In the crowds of people, in the middle of a busy street, there was no time for Levi to check. He thought it the best move to pull and maybe she thought it the best move to follow. She was obedient, predictable and light and he easily brought her farther from the center, towards the quieter parts of the city.

Five minutes of brisk walking, or maybe it was ten and soon, they reached an area with clusters of apartment buildings, residences. There were still small shops, a few restaurants and hole in the wall food stalls, some with lines spilling out all the way until the sidewalk.

At first, it seemed hopeless to find some place just for both of them. With time, Levi started to imagine one particular place that wouldn’t have so many people that late at night.

It should be bedtime for kids already anyway. He thought to himself. And when he articulated it, he was sure, there should be one. And there should be no people.

He just had to find one.

Five more minutes of following the winding roads between apartment buildings and he found one, a comfortable distance away from apartments. They could easily manage a soft conversation with no risk of being heard. He sat back on the swing, taking in the slide, the sandbox a few feet away, the monkey bars and high rise apartment buildings with most windows already illuminated just above them.

Hange had taken the seat beside him.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked again.

“I’m fine,” Hange spat out, only proving she was definitely not fine. There was enough light from the one street light on the corner, the shades of orange, red and white coming from the window and they had all worked together to show a glimmer of Hange’s face, even with her head bent down.

“Are you crying?”

The answer came in heaved breaths. The question must have made her more conscious. She bent down further on the swing. Her bangs covered her face and whatever glimmer he had seen a while ago was forgotten. Eventually, she gathered herself. “Levi, if you ask people why they’re crying, sometimes they just start crying.” She let out another breath.

That didn’t convince him to stop. “Why are you crying?”

“You don’t ask people that.” That time, the words came out a little more seamlessly.

“You asked me if I was crying back then… Back in the office.” Levi never forgot that harrowing experience and it was an easy memory to bring up.

There was silence for a second, save for a few more ragged breaths, the creak of the swing and maybe a few barking dogs from the distance.

Hange broke it herself, her voice much clearer than a while ago. “Sorry, I’m just tired,” she said. “Really tired.”

“Zeke ditched?” Maybe ditch wasn’t the right term. By the time he considered that, the words were long gone from his mouth.

“I knew he wasn’t coming,” Hange said. She pushed on the swing just a little bit, enough to have her swaying.

“Why did you wait?”

“We had a reservation.”

“But if he told you…”

“He told me to cancel it.”

“And your road trip?”

“He said not this weekend. He has a few more meetings and he couldn’t come home on time.” Hange’s voice was alarmingly serious, a sign of acceptance maybe?

Levi hoped not. In a feeble attempt to lighten the mood, he spoke up. “Happy Birthday.”

“I’d rather not think it’s my birthday.” Hange let out a pitiful excuse of a laugh. “How many birthdays do people even get, and here I am wasting one of them being sad.”

“I’m not the best company but I can try to do my part to help make it better,” Levi pulled out his phone and opened his email, opening the apk file he had been working on since that morning. He copied the download link and pasted it on Hange’s message box.

The message was sent quickly and the popping sound from Hange’s phone filled the silence of the empty playground.

“Happy birthday,” Levi said once again with a little more flourish.

“I told you, don’t remind me. Let’s just sit here and talk.” Hange gripped the chains of the swing and leaned back.

“Check your damn phone Hange.”

“Nah… My phone has been chocked full of disappointments since this morning.”

“I sent you your birthday gift through your phone.”

“It can wait until later,” Hange argued.

She was like a five year old child and Levi was starting to give up on even keeping the surprise.“I modified the app,” he said.

“What?” That had gotten Hange’s attention. She pulled out her phone.

“I created another copy of it, played around with the code.”

“Why?” She seemed curious more than anything. Curious was better than sad at least.

“As a birthday gift,” Levi said. “Just open the damn phone.”

Hange picked it up from her lap. A clicking sound as she unlocked the phone then silence and maybe a hint of humming as Hange fiddled with her phone. “I just download it right?”

“No shit Sherlock.” It was a stupid question. Hange had downloaded apk files more times than he could even count.

“Well, you said it’s a new app,” Hange said in defense.

“It is and it isn’t.” Levi moved his head, and it settled as a mix between a shake and a nod. “It’s not part of the original research plan… and I didn’t have much time to test it so it’s not perfect.” He unlocked his own phone and opened the emotions alarm. He stared at it for a second, hovering his thumb over the activate button then he looked over at Hange’s phone. “No need for an email. Just open it.”

“Nothing’s changed,” Hange said.

“Well, I added colors now,” Levi shrugged. “And I tried adding more emotions by playing around with the data, but who knows if they’ll show up.” At that point, he was self conscious enough that he saw it as an obligation enough to manage expectations.

He heard the familiar sound and he was sure Hange had activated it. He activated his own and leaned back on the swing and pushed just a little bit, enough to occupy himself while the alarm read them both.

Hange’s phone rang first.

“What did you get?”

“You added purple?” Hange asked. “What the hell does this mean?”

“Red and blue. So if red is anger and blue is sadness…” Levi started.

“Go on…” Hange said.

“I’m not a philosopher nor a psychologist. You say something.”

“Loathing?” She suggested. “A combination of anger and sadness… It sounds like loathing to me, or indignance.”

His own phone rang, he put the screen up. “I got green. Blue and yellow. Sad and happy. Can someone be sad and happy at the same time?”

“Acceptance,” Hange answered. “Or desire.”

“Those are opposites.” “Opposite sides of the spectrum but they’re the same feelings, they both involve happiness and sadness. Acceptance is sad happiness. Desire is happy sadness.”

He almost regretted asking for Hange’s feedback. He felt her speculation at the pit of his stomach and he only realized when his phone fell to the ground that he froze, lost his balance on the swing for a second. “This hasn’t been tested though so it’s all for fun.” A pathetic disclaimer but it didn’t seem to work. He looked up to see Hange was staring at him.

The tears had dried and her eyes were a bit brighter and she seemed more inquisitive than sad. “You know... " Hange started off slow, breathless from amazement maybe. She was still fiddling, staring at her own screen. "This might be a good idea for the app. Let's test this again on Monday. Maybe we could add this."

“Maybe. We’re gonna have to revise the plan if we do.”

“Or we can keep it just a personal project but let’s think about it Monday.” Hange stood up. It’s getting late.” She put her hands up and stretched, swaying from side to side.

“Yeah, it’s getting cold too,” Levi said. Summer was ending soon.

“Happy Birthday to me,” she added, the venom from a while ago apparent. She pocketed her phone then held her sweater close. “Zeke said to wait a few weeks. I guess I’m gonna have to wait until next year to enjoy summer up north again. Maybe we can go south instead.” She kept her voice cheery, an attempt to lighten the mood.

A seemingly unsuccessful attempt. “You still wanna see summer up north?” Levi asked.

“I wouldn’t mind waiting. I guess what hurts about it is, I’ve been psyching myself up for days. I bought new clothes. I’ve been packing and I’ve already created a route for us,” Hange said.

“Yeah, you were talking about it a few days back, about how this one garden reminds you of Pemberley.” Levi asked.

“Well, last time I went there was a few years ago… There’s an area that reminds me of Pemberley, another one that reminds me of the Rosing garden---” Hange trailed off.

“I wanna see them all,” Levi said. He never finished the book and he wondered if she noticed. Regardless, he wanted to see it anyway. If there was something Hange could talk about for hours, something that had left her a lump of disappointment, he wanted to see it for himself.

“Really?” She said. “But with testing on monday… And you don’t seem like the type to---” Even under the dark night, Hange looked flustered, the pink in her cheeks still apparent.

“As long as we’re back before Monday right?” He didn’t know if she would agree. He didn’t expect her to but when Hange was already hovering such a prospect up in the air. When she had misunderstood that last statement to have been an invite, he might as well just play along. And enjoy it. “I don’t see any problem going with you,” he added that last part just to make it a little clearer.

"Like this weekend?" Hange asked, a look of disbelief on her face.

"This weekend." Levi nodded.

“Then let’s go. When do you think you’ll be ready?”

“We could leave right now.”

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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