#my dark secret is always knew i probably could i just didnt care enough to find out

[divinefeline28]

does it make any more sense at a 45 degree angle, bud?

@teamdarkweek day 4: malfunction!

i actually drew all of omega and i wasnt going to shade this at all but he hurts to look at without shading so he gets to be a special boy

[loousir]

[Satyr} Insecurities

Soft Male Presenting NB Satyr x Male Reader

Dakota

Warnings: Dakota get comforted by you after a sudden breakup and you end up confessing, they realized they like you too, mentions of alcohol (tho not explicitly stated other than beer), two faced boyfriend (now ex)

Masterlist

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Currently, you are on your way to third wheel for your best friend, Dakota. This guy that Dakota was dating was one that you really did not like. He was all sweet and kind around Dakota but the second they turned their back, he was a complete jerk. You knew you should tell Dakota but they just looked so happy being with this guy that you didn't want to ruin this momentary happiness.

Anyhow, both of you were walking down the street to a small yet busy pub that he had asked Dakota to meet. Dakota had asked him if you could come and he said yes but you knew he would have said no if that didn't ruin his "perfect boyfriend" image. You developed feelings for Dakota years ago, long into your friendship with him but you never confessed. You knew they didn't feel the same so you decided to just try to be the very best friend you could be.

Dakota pointed out the place you two were going and you followed them up to the front door. You opened it for them and they almost instantly spot their boyfriend, going over to him and hugging him. You smiled a sad smile and looked at the two before joining them at their table. He had sent Dakota off to get drinks for the three of you. "How have you been (R/n)?" He looks over to you with a not glare for once. "I'm breaking up with him."

Your eyes widened slightly. "What?" He nods. "Yeah I got hit pretty hard in the face with reality after the last time we met." His whole demeanor had changed from what it was before. You tried to say something but Dakota came back with a beer bottle and two glasses. They set one of the glasses down in front of you and handed the bottle to their soon to be ex who's demeanor went back to perfect boyfriend mode.

You smiled at Dakotas smile before taking a drink of what they got you. "Ah, (R/n)! Did you see the new episode yesterday? It was so good!" Dakota said before going on to ramble about bits and pieces. (R/n) smiled and nodded, chatting about said episode with Dakota.

A few minutes had past with the three of you talking before (R/n) decided it was time to bring the bad news. "Dakota." They looked up to (R/n) who looked like he just accidentally kicked a puppy. Dakota noticed and went to grab his hands to ask what's wrong but he pulled away. You looked away out of courtesy but still listened in. "I'm sorry Dakota. I dont think we can be together anymore. Its really me, not you. You've been nothing but good to me and I want you to be happy but it can't be with me."

"Maybe we'll see each other around. Don't worry about paying for drinks, I'll cover it on the way out." He said standing up to leave. Dakota couldn't seem to process what what happening as they watched their now ex-boyfriend walk away. "Kota, let's go." You said standing and grabbing their hand.

They didn't move but instead started to shake slightly. "Dakota, please." You pulled them up and practically dragged them out of the pub and stopped when you were a block away from it. Dakota hadn't said a word but held on tightly to your hand. "Do you wanna go back to your house?" You asked, looking to them. They nodded softly, more hair moving to cover their usually covered eyes.

You squeezed their hand gently as the two of you walked back to Dakotas place. It wasn't too far from the pub so neither of you saw the point in taking the car. After a few minutes of walking, Dakota stopped, making you look back. "Im... S-so sorry... I... I cant..." They tried to say something but ended up almost collapsing, legs shaking like crazy. You caught them before they could and opted to carry them the rest of the way.

Dakota holds onto you and cries into your neck. You gently rub the back of their head and whisper reassuring words into their ears. After a few more minutes of walking, you make it to the house and carefully unlock the door and close it behind you before taking them upstairs to their bedroom. "I'll go grab some water. I'll be right back ok?"

You head back down stairs, lost in thought as you grabbed water from the fridge before heading back up. You didn't expect to see what you did though.

Your body stood ridgid with shock. Standing in front of you, staring back with wild and afraid eyes was your best friend of 5 years. They looked like they were wearing pants but they weren't. Their legs were covered in dark brown fur, same colour as their hair. Your eyes followed the soft digitigrade shape down to the cloven hooves in place of feet. A small tail to match laid tight against their body.

"Dakota..?"

You breathed out hesitantly. They seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in for a moment and they started to shake. "Hey... Hey whats wrong?" You asked as you very slowly approached them, as if the wrong step could send them sprinting away. They didn't say a word and you eventually got to their side. You very carefully grabbed their hand but they pulled it away faster than you could blink.

They looked at you with such fear that you could barely even tell if it was your sweet Dakota anymore. A tense moment passed as you had seen his eyes for the first time. You gently took their hand again and pressed their palm against your chest. They could feel your heart pounding, theirs was probably just as fast. You and Dakota had this thing where if one of you were panicking, the other would place a hand on the heart of the one whos panicking. It usually ended with a hug but it was really just a comfort thing that Dakota had started with you when they had a panic attack in public. Once they had seemed to realized, some lever must have flipped as they pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/n)..."

You hugged them back, gently placing a hand on the back of their head to keep them close. A silent minute had past before you felt your shoulder getting wet again. "I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but you heard it. Neither of you said a word after that. Dakota pulled their head out from the crook of your neck and rested their forehead against your chest.

"I didn't want you to find out like this..." Their voice was small as they spoke, hands gripping tightly to the back of your shirt. You carefully set a hand on their cheek, coaxing them to look up to you. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. The bright green, almost yellow irises stood out against their pink-ish scleras. "Your eyes are so beautiful." You mumbled out without thinking.

Dakota blushed and looked away. "I know you probably don't wanna talk so let's sit down and I'll go first." You lead them over to the bed and both of you sat down. "Judging by your reaction you didn't want me knowing about the whole... Lower half thing." You paused to look at Dakota who nodded. "Sorry." You said, still processing everything. Dakota shook their head. "N-no... I..."

"I don't know what to say..." Dakota said with a heavy sigh. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything-" They cut you off before you could continue. "(Y/n) I've lied to you for 5 years about it! Of course I have to say something!" You looked away from them and sighed. "I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me that you never told me what you were." Without hesitation, you grabbed Dakotas hand again, staring at it as they let you intertwine your fingers. "But I always had a feeling you weren't exactly human anyways... Of course I wanted to know but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

Dakota looked to your eyes, tears welling up in theirs again. You could see that they wanted to apologize for not saying anything but you just shook your head. "Kota, I could care less that your a Satyr. If anything I like you even more." You mumbled the last part but they still heard it anyway, signaled by the blush that rose to their cheeks yet again. Dakota placed their free hand on your cheek and made you look back to them.

"I love you so fucking much Kota. You don't even know. I'm sorry. This is probably a lot on top of me finding out about probably your biggest secret and the... Y'know." Dakota shook their head. "Its all been so overwhelming. I'm honestly surprised I haven't passed out yet." You let a small huff of a laugh pass as they pulled your face closer to theirs. "You seemed to have calmed down a lot." You mumbled out.

Dakota nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'm... Relieved... I've known you long enough that I know you when you aren't feigning truths." They pause for a moment. You took this moment to observe their tear stained face. "(Y/n). I dont ever want you to leave me." Their voice had been shaky since you found out about them being a Satyr but it was even worse when they said that. "I couldn't truly live if you weren't in my life Kota."

They looked at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, said something weird didnt-" You were cut off by a pair of soft lips against yours. You carefully kissed back, tangling your hand in their soft, fuffy hair. The second both of you pulled away, Dakota smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. "Kota-" "I think him breaking up with me was the best decision ever." You furrowed your brows, really confused.

"What? Why? I though you two were happy together." Dakota nodded. "I was happy. But I also saw how unhappy you were. A-and it made me realize... Just how much I wanted to make you happy because you make me happy." You couldn't say anything but just looked at them with surprise. "Can I... Can I kiss you?" You asked quietly. Dakota laughed and nodded, pulling you into a kiss.

Your hands decided to test the waters a bit and you gently ran a hand through the soft fur that coat their leg. They shivered and gripped onto your shirt, leaning into the kiss more. You pulled away and let your hand linger on their thigh. "Did... Did you really mean it when you said that you liked me more knowing I was a Satyr?" You blushed and laughed awkwardly while looking away. "Yeah... I didn't realize I said that out loud."

Dakota let out a gentle laugh and pulled you into a tight hug. "Let's take a nap, I'm tired after crying so much..." You nodded and kissed their neck softly as the two of you laid down.

"Please stay by my side."

I originally started this one shot at the paragraph that starts at "Your body stood ridgid with shock." so sorry if everything above it seemed weird-

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1890

[midnightmoonkiss]

The Lure Of Nightfall [2]

Izuku Midoriya X Fem! Reader

Summary: After accidentally flying in on your best friend jerkin his meat to the thought of you, things get out of hand, and you’re thrown into a weekly routine.

WARNINGS!: Voyeurism, Masturbation

Category: Smut, Smut, Pure Smut.

Word Count: 8.7k+

A/N: You all wanted this! >.< I hope I delivered~

Just To Clarify:

This is a continuation!

panties are a bitch.

Part One

Tag List:  @zylith-imagines-and-fics @birds-have-teeth @my-bnha-things.

The morning after carried on just as any Sunday would have.

Izuku woke up refreshed and ready to start his daily work out.

The strange bird encounter completely slipped his mind as he ran laps, pushing his legs to run faster and faster with each completed circle.

He was always one to push his limits, always one to ignore the burning in his calves and thighs as his legs became a blur of motion beneath him.

All he could think about was how many laps he had run, and how many more he had to go.

You could only ever push yourself so far. He learned that lesson the hard way not too long ago when he didnt stop running until his legs gave out and a student had to come and get him.

His legs were practically dead weight for the following few hours.

Sighing at the memory, he went on, arm coming up to wipe the sweat from his brow.

It was 9:00AM when he finally finished his workout routine, a little later than he was used to. But who could blame him? He did go to bed later than his schedule recommended, after all.

But..

That wasn’t..

His fault..

He frantically shook his head, scarred palms slapping his redding cheeks as what got him so riled up in the first place flickered through his mind.

 He did not need to have such thoughts at this moment.

Heading back to his dorm, he grabbed his shampoo and body wash, as well as a fresh change of clothes before skipping down the steps. He felt gross and sticky with sweat, and he couldn’t wait to feel the rush of water against his skin.

Oh!No one’s here! 

He thought happily as he practically skipped into the bathroom, putting his clothes in the locker beside the shower stall he chose.

He hopped into the shower, not bothering to turn the heat on as cold showers always seemed to snap him out of any dirty thoughts. Plus, not only did they help make someone more alert after an intense workout, the cool water always left a heated body feeling much better.

Once done, he quickly dried off and changed, making his way to the sinks to brush and fully dry his thick, damp hair.

Such fluffy hair regrettably required a stay-in conditioner, or else it would look simply dreadful - frizzy hair galore. No one, especially him, wants that. Though it took away that masculine scent of body wash guys apparently are supposed to thrive in, it did make him smell pretty sweet. It all fit together perfectly in a way. Sugar n’ spice made everything nice, right?

As he was spraying the stay-in conditioner, running a wooden comb through the damp, curly green locks, he let his mind wander.

He forgot something, didn’t he?

It felt like he did.

He chewed his pouty bottom lip, eyes narrowing as he let his arms run on autopilot so his thoughts could drift.

He wasn’t usually so forgetful, so what on Earth was he forgetting?

Something the other day, surely.

He didn’t have anything planned today.

Just relax and enjoy life for a second. They didn’t get breaks often, and last Sunday he was at the mall all day with you and his friend group.

You..

What about you?

He felt like you were the key to his confusion and forgetfulness, but why?

He hadn’t had an interaction with you yesterday that would require his immediate attention, so-

Wait.

His movements stopped as he stared wide-eyed at his reflection in the mirror.

Most birds sleep at night, that was common knowledge.

So why the hell was there one on his balcony so late last night.

He dropped his comb, wood clanging loudly onto the floor, the noise echoing around his suddenly deaf ears.

Birds don’t nuzzle fingers.

Birds fly away when a human approaches.

That wasn’t any ordinary bird.

That wasn’t a bird at all, was it?

No.

There was only one person who could turn into a bird..

And that person was..

You.

Oh god.. Oh god, no!

Izuku collapses to his knees, arms wrapping securely around his head as he blushes and whines like a mad man.

You saw him! You had to have seen him!

He was! 

He was naked-!

You didn’t… you didn’t see and hear him in the act, right!?

He shakily inhaled, shameful tears blurring his vision.

You heard him moan out your name, didnt you!

You must hate him now! Think he’s disgusting..

What type of person masturbates to their best friend!

But he couldn’t help it!

He’s been in love with you for so long..

He knew his dreams would never come to fruition, that you would never like him as much as he liked you, so he took to his mind to live out a life he’s always wanted.

One his body so desperately craves.

It was so humiliating!

How could he face you..?

Fat tears streamed down his face, heart breaking at the thought of you never speaking to him again. His mind fled to a dark place, completely ignoring the fact that the bird had been so gentle with him and seemingly uncaring.

So, imagine his surprise when you happily greeted him at one of the tables as he walked out of the bathroom for water.

Upon seeing his tear stained face, worry quickly consumed you, face contorting as you jumped up and rushed over to him.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong, ‘Zuku? You were crying?”

You bombarded him with questions, hands coming up to delicately cradle his burning face between them.

His head felt fuzzy as he stared into your (E/C) eyes glimmering with concern.

A whimper built up in the back of his throat, fearful that you’d still leave him.

But why were you acting like last night never happened? That you didnt watch him defile your name?

Well, to be honest, you currently clung onto the hope that he never realized it was you. He wasn’t acting angry or upset like you’d expect him to if he did find out, so it was obvious you were in the clear. 

Except, you weren’t. And he did know.

He just didn’t know why, why you were there or why you watched him. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel as creeped out about as he probably should have, it was like there was a small bell of honor ringing in his chest.

All in all, he figured you wanted to hang out, that’s why you were there in the first place.

But he wanted to know why you watched him - why you didn’t leave the moment you no-doubt saw him pleasuring himself.

God, he felt stupid.

He should have paid more attention to the time he chose, you always came to his dorm around that time during the weekend!

He wanted to facepalm, hide his ashamed face beneath his palms.

But for now, he’d soak in the feeling of your soft hands holding his face, thumbs brushing away stray tears.

You were trying to hide it. Hide the fact that you saw him. He’d indulge you, pretend he didn’t know anything

“Y-Yeah! I’m alright..!”

He smiled.

And so the show began.

He never stopped hanging out with you, and the shame soon melted away into desire as the days trudged on.

He didnt know why, but the thought of you watching him do something so intimate.. It thrilled him to his very core, sent tingles down his spine and left him breathless for a moment or two.

It actually gave him quite a few boners in class, much to his embarrassment. Lord, did his mind wander too much. He was just a hormonal teenage boy, after all.

Funnily enough, he could feel that the majority of the time you spent around each other, your stare was directed towards him. It was as if he was your center of attention throughout most classes these days, the apple of your mesmerizing eyes, and it felt amazing.

Like.. like he was the only thing you cared about. Only thing you needed.

He loved that feeling.

He wanted more.

He wanted you to, in a way, need him as much as he needed you.

He wanted it to happen again, wanted to know what it would feel like if he was actually aware of it occurring rather than only finding out about it the next day when his senses came back.

So, he decided he’d try touching himself every Saturday at the same time, since that is when you last showed up, leaving his window and curtains open just so you could, theoretically, get a good view.

He knew how wrong it was, wanting his best friend to watch him do something so sinful at nightfall whilst holding innocent conversations during the daylight.

He was too horny for his own good. Could you blame him?

The first attempt was unsuccessful, and he never did feel your piercing gaze on his trembling body as he worked himself to completion.

It was disappointing, but he had hope, and an unexpected outlet for his sexual frustrations.

Meanwhile, you were going crazy.

It felt like you were holding onto a dirty little secret, one Izuku had absolutely no idea about.

Everyday you had to force yourself to not let the image of him writhing sinfully around on his sheets float to the surface of your overactive mind.

You definitely did not need any soaked panties, especially considering you’d have to walk around all day like that.

It was truly a blessing in disguise.

Was it strange to say that in a way you got off on talking innocently to Izuku now?

Staring into his beautiful green eyes, talking about the math homework you forgot to do, all you could think about was how those eyes were glazed over with lust, pupils blown ridiculously wide as he came all over himself.

Such a messy boy.

Gah!

You aggressively shook your head in class, hands rubbing aggressively at your closed eyes to try and erase the image..

“(Y-Y/N)? Are y-you okay?” Izuku stuttered nervously, hands outstretched, ready to place them on your shoulders if you needed to be steadied.

You were simply talking, but suddenly you had such a violent reaction when he asked what answer you got for question three on the homework!

Had you not done it? Maybe you had had quite the trouble with it and didn’t want to remember the minutes wasted on chewing on your mechanical pencil as tears of frustration streamed down your face? He’d seen it occur before, It was a very weird and.. sad.. sight.

“Ah!” You yelped, ripping your hands from your face as you suddenly remembered where you were - you couldn’t just pull that sort of stunt in class, it’d make people think you were weirder than you already clearly are!

But that was just the start of it all.

You so desperately wanted to see him in that state again, wanted to hear your name slip from his spit-slicked raw lips in a wanton moan.

The fact that he was your best friend slowly started to fade from your mind, replaced by lustful desires. What’s shame? Never heard of that.

Who could hear anything over your moans anyway?

Night fell into a routine of your hands stuffed down your panties, fingers covered in your own slick rubbing roughly at your puffy clit as two of your fingers thrust in and out of yourself.

You constantly wondered just what that pretty boy imagined in that oh-so-obviously dirty mind of his as he pumped his cock.

Was he imagining you riding him, face smothered by your tits, mouth latched onto one of your perky buds, sucking the red flesh into his mouth as you bounced up and down on his long, painfully hard and throbbing cock?

Your breath caught in your throat at the image, fingers speeding up.

Or perhaps was he imagining pounding into your tight little pussy, your legs wrapped around his slim hips, fingers clawing red marks into his back so that he could show them off whilst changing into his gym clothes the next day in the locker room?

You squealed as you suddenly clenched down on your two digits, the coil wound tight in your stomach from all the dirty images whizzing past your head snapping unexpectedly, cumming all over your fingers. 

You laid there panting, eyes staring deliriously up at the star-covered ceiling.

You had to see him in the act again, no question about it.

It was unfortunate how you passed out from exhaustion Saturday before the time Izuku would ultimately begin going mad in his bed.

It was hard not to beat yourself up over it, especially since you now had to suffer through another week of not seeing his pretty face drenched in sweat, mouth wide open and tongue flopping out.

Grr!

More suffering for the both of you.

It was still so very funny how despite all of these lewd thoughts the both of you possessed for one another, you still got along just as well as before.

It was as if nothing had happened at all.

Honestly, it was a great relief to the both of you.

Originally, you had thought that since you saw him in that new light, you’d be unable to have a decent conversation with him, and he thought that you’d be too disgusted with him to ever even think about speaking to him.

Of course, that was bullshit.

He knew you purposely stayed there to watch him. 

That was part of the reason he wanted it to happen again.

He was clinging onto the hope that you liked him back, and that’s why it seemed as if you ignored the whole thing.

No, wait. He didnt want it to happen again… he needed it to happen again. Not just to satisfy him, but to just see if it wasn’t a mistake. A clarification. Something he could cling to in his mind. Something that told him there was an even bigger chance that you might miraculously like some gross nerd like him back.

He was still insecure, even after all the body changes he has gone through.

The scars didnt help much, either.

He could look at his body and feel proud of how much stronger he was, but those rough scars that would permanently taint his skin always left him feeling a bit shy.

He openly showed them, of course, not afraid considering they were marks of his growth and a reminder that he was able to save someone, but they didnt exactly feel nice.

His skin was once silky smooth all over, but now it wasnt, and it would never be the same again.

You knew him without the scars for the longest, but that also meant you knew the whimpy Deku, and not the Hero Deku he was becoming.

So many thoughts were constantly racing around in his mind, it was hard to keep track of them at times.

He blocked out the thoughts with a heavy heart, going back to his previous activity.

And of course, for you, well, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t visit him in your bird form during the night on weekdays, curious to see if, by chance, he was up - which he often wasn’t, and if he was sinning.

To no avail, of course.

It was hard to place if you were missing it by some misfortune, or if he just wasn’t doing it. So Saturday was your best guess. You saw him do it that day, so you figured from the beginning you’d see him to it again on all Saturdays. That’s what you hoped, anyway.

The next Saturday, though, you were proven correct.

The scene was similar to the one from last time, you, perched on the railing, sliding glass door open, curtains pushed to the side, and Izuku moaning like a slut on his bed covers.

Your feathers ruffled up in excitement, it looked as if he just came from the shower, towel discarded on the floor.

Things were going to be much different this time, unknown to you, of course.

Because this time, Izuku knew you were there.

He knew you were watching him.

And he knew it was on purpose because earlier that evening you stopped by to play video games before ‘retiring’ for the night.

Naughty girl, did you expect him to believe that when he’s been able to see through your lies ever since childhood?

He could feel your piercing gaze, and it thrilled him, making his cock slathered in lube he recently purchased twitch against his toned stomach.

Currently, he was rubbing up and down his twitching thighs, trying to calm himself down since, in his excitement at hearing you drop by, he almost came. 

You eagerly watched as he did so, black eyes following his beautiful hand movements.

His thighs were so, so glorious.

Was it a bad thing to want to be trapped between them whilst you sucked his pretty dick?

To have them suffocate you was a dream. You’d give just about anything for them to squeeze your head as he came closer and closer to unraveling.

His legs were always nice, but ever since he began using them to smash incredibly large and sturdy objects, your fixation with them grew.

Hell, who were you kidding? You loved every aspect of that boy.

You wanted to lather his perfect body in searing kisses, whispering praises under every breath you took.

Your toes curled, clinging onto the raining as you leaned forward eagerly, watching as his hands traced down his inner thighs, just to drag across the underside of his dick.

He gasped once his fingers ran over his slit, head shoving itself into his pillow.

He wanted to put on a good show for you, gauge your reaction from the corner of his half-lidded eyes.

Surely you’d be too transfixed by his lower half to notice dark green eyes gazing over at you.

And he was right.

Because you couldn’t tear your attention away from his crotch, his hips lifting off the bed as he slowly thrusted into the tunnel he made with his hand.

It was as if he was teasing himself by going slow, his whines for more being a clear give away, that and the twitch of his hips as he sought a faster pace but held himself back.

“A-ahh~ (Y/N).. S-so good.. To me..”

How could he not imagine his hands as your own?

Yours were so small, too.. Could they even fully wrap around his thick length? He was all too eager to find out, but that’d have to be for a later date. Hopefully.

As time flew by, his impatience grew.

He wanted to put a good show on for you, truly, he did! But he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to cum oh-so badly.

To have that knot that was already building up in his system before you flew in to finally burst.

Sobs tore from his throat as he finally gave in, aching cock slamming into his fist with a wet squelch as his hand squeezed and twisted down on his length.

He didn’t last long, soon releasing his seed all over himself once again with a shrill cry, body arching up beautifully off the bed.

Whilst regaining his breath, he shakily looked over at you, joy sparking in his system to see you leaning forward as if you were enraptured by him.

It felt so good.

This occured more often than either of you would like to admit, but yet, there was no complaints.

Like before, life carried on normally in the light of day, but Saturday night? Showtime.

It was always something new, much to your enjoyment. 

One night, which just so happened to be one where a new moon hung high in the inky black sky freckled with stars, you had the pleasure of witnessing him fuck a pillow. 

So sweet. A true jackpot. 

Since the tranquil, silvery beams of moonlight were absent on this particular evening, an Allmight night light of sorts illuminated the room in a yellow glow. It was brighter than the times before, ultimately giving you a better look at just what he was doing. 

That wasn’t all, though.

Before, with the pale light of the moon, he was always submerged in a sinful atmosphere.

But now, you see, he looked so very soft in this light. It showered his perfectly toned, freckled and sweaty body in such a warm glow. It radiated innocence, despite his downright dirty acts of self-care.

His face was pressed to the side of the mattress, drool dripping past his parted lips as he gasped and moaned, cheeks burning red, eyes closed and brows arched upward as he chased that sweet, sweet release he so anticipated. His hips rutted into the soft pillow like a bunny in heat. Scarred hands had a death grip on it, forcing it down on his cock to provide an addicting combination of pressure and pleasure. Though you couldn’t quite see his flushed dick in action, his adorable face and moans made up for it. 

Was it too bold of you to say he was imagining the pillow was you? 

The way your name rolled off his tongue certainly would lead to that blissful assumption.

Another night you had gotten there early.

It was a particularly breezy night, the wind making his curtains dance and hair sway slightly. It was still hard to believe he liked having his sliding-glass door open. Did he like the fresh air when he was left gasping from his ministrations? Or did he thrive on the possibility that someone could hear him cry out? 

How alluring that thought was.

But, how foolish of you to assume you were being sneaky.

To your luck, getting there early meant you got to see him set up the act, anticipate just what he was about to do. Predictions flooded your mind as you watched him with a tilted head as he poured lube onto his shaky fingers.

Whatever he was about to do, he seemed nervous. A first time thing, perhaps? Or was he shaking with desire?

You’d later come to realize you never wanted to be in front of this man more than that night.

Because, to your utmost delight, that was the night you witnessed him finger himself for no-doubt the first time.

He was cautious and tense, you could easily tell from so far away. You couldn’t see what he was doing exactly, but it wasn’t too hard to put pieces of a puzzle together. 

In the beginning, he was trying to ease himself into it, one hand languidly stroking his erection, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat, whilst the other seemed to tease at his opening.

He bit his bottom lip the moment he decided it was time to quit shitting around, thighs splaying wide open once again for better access - and to you, a better view. His eyes slipped closed as he tried to focus on what he was doing, momentarily stopping the strokes on his cock so his attention would be on the feeling of a single digit slipping in and out of his virgin hole. He stayed tensed for a while, obviously trying to adjust. It wasnt until a few minutes later that he started to get really into it, slipping in another finger as his hips started to rock to the slow beat set.

His weeping dick was given attention again not long after that, hips wiggling and high-pitched cries of ecstasy tears from his throat at the two hands working in unison.

You couldn’t help but hop from one foot to the other that night as you eagerly drank in the sight.

“A-ahh! O-h oh god! (Y-Y/N)! F-faster- oh! Ple-ase f-fahh! Uhn! Ha-ah- ah- ah!”

Were you fucking him in this fantasy? A strap on, maybe? You wouldnt oppose doing so, he’s so cute begging like this. Begging for a plastic cock to pound into his tight ass with each whine, whimper, and moan.

He finished quite quickly, fingers probably finally finding that sweet spot deep inside of him. His eyes shot open, going cross as he practically screamed into the night.

And most recently, you witnessed him cum so hard he passed out for a few moments.

And you knew exactly why.

Because earlier that day, your boredom once again got the best of you, and you couldnt help but notice Izuku was lost in his thoughts during a break period. So, being the cheeky shit you were, you waltzed on over to him, leaning down to whisper in his ear “Hey.” 

It was funny how he had to slap a hand over his mouth, obviously hiding a whine. You knew your voice had an effect on him, especially when it was lowered an octave. Pair that with your hot breath fanning over his overly sensitive ear? The man was pudding. 

“(Y-Y/N)! I-I told you to stop doing that..!” He blushed, eyes squeezing shut to avoid your smirking face.

But that wasn’t all, no. You sat in his lap after that. He almost died, face a cherry red as his hands were held up, not sure where to put them.

It was honestly a rare occasion, for Iida was out with Momo for class president and vice president duties. You had to take advantage of that.

“What? I don’t want to stand this whole time!” Came your pouty response, and he most definitely couldn’t refuse those puppy-dog eyes you used on him.

To his horror, you wiggled in your fleshy seat, trying to get ‘comfortable’ whilst pretending you had no idea what you were doing to him. You knew damn well what it was you were doing, you were grinding your ass on his crotch - just for an agonizing moment.

It was hard to get him to form a sentence that wasn’t broken with stutters the whole time you sat atop his lap. He was so cute, all blushy like that. A little strawberry.

The second Iida and Momo came back from their duties, you jumped off his lap, startling him once again. To your ‘misfortune,’ you dropped the pencil which was tucked into your shirt pocket. So, you promptly bent down to get it, giving the perverted Izuku behind you a glorious view of your round ass covered by a pair of lacy white panties.

It was a wonder how he didn’t pass out as you expected him to, honestly.

You never heard him cry out your name as much as you did that very night.

Who knew such a shy and bashful boy could be so.. Lewd?

It was a major turn on, you could only imagine what it would be like to be there with him.

Oh, how glorious that would be.

To stare into his eyes blown wide with lust and glazed over with desire, knowing full well you were the true reason behind it - and not just his hands.

You wanted to..

You wanted to do so many things to and with him.

But you couldn’t.

Because at the end of the day, you were still only best friends.

He may call your name in the dead of night, he may beg for you in his dreams, but that doesn’t make you more than what you were when the sun rises yet again over the grassy hill coated in morning dew.

Just friends.

Friends until actions occur that change the definition of the word.

‘Friends’ brought a bitter taste to your tongue when it came to describing Izuku. You wanted to be more than just…. ‘Friends.’

But that was selfish of you.

You couldnt always get what you wanted, even if both parties want the exact same thing.

You could never live with yourself if you forced yourself onto him when he wasn’t ready to accept it. You knew very well how easily overwhelmed he could get. You worried that if.. your Saturday night activities got around to him, that he’d never want anything to do with you again. You were playing a dangerous game.

It was a hard concept to grasp, really.

But little did you know, he would be perfectly okay with it. More than okay, actually.

In fact, he craved it so, so much. With each Saturday that came, with every show he put on for you, he so desperately wished you’d revert back to your human form and come join him on his messy bed. He wanted to feel your soft skin brush against his overheated body. He wanted that intimacy.

He knew you wanted it too, he’s seen you almost fly right on into his room with particular moments.

He loved being watched by you, gaining validation every week by your intense, infatuated gaze, but he didn’t know how much more he could take. It was driving him absolutely insane. He noticed himself becoming more brash and reckless during training, his frustration taking over his senses and causing absolute mayhem. 

In the beginning, speaking to you outside of these downright shameful acts was exhilarating, but now it was simply infuriating. How could you act like nothing was happening? How could you stay so innocent whilst he was out here losing his marbles?

The rubber band holding his sanity together was stretched too thin, he had no doubt that it would snap any day now and his carnal desires will be let loose.

Such a risky thing he had willingly got himself into.

But that band snapped much sooner than he predicted, and there was no going back after that.

It’s been nearly two months since this whole act started.

It’s gotten progressively hotter outside, it was almost as if the sun itself had something personal against anyone and everyone who walked in it’s brilliant light.

The training has gotten harder thanks to the sweltering heat. Primetime to exercise until you feel like throwing up, yeah?

They were supposed to progress on their workouts throughout the year, but damn did this heat wave come at an unconventional time. Poor Tokoyami almost had a heat stroke.

The intensity of the workouts was making everyone antsy. The weekdays were hell on Earth, so the weekends became an even bigger godsend to the poor hero students working to achieve their dreams.

That being said, what better way to distress than too..?

This week was particularly stressful, and after the hell Izuku and his fellow classmates were put through, he craved that certain destresser he’s been hooked on for far too long.

It was unfortunate that he cracked a bit earlier than his scheduled 11 PM rub out, making it only to 10:41 PM before his dirty thoughts overtook his being and made his dick twitch to life in his shorts. He wanted to wait, but he became increasingly uncomfortable, hips shimmying, trying to find a comfortable position to wait around in.

After promptly giving up, he leaned back on his bed, tugging his shorts off and letting his eyes slip shut as he palmed himself through his boxers.

Things always felt better for the green-eyed boy if he took it slow, working himself up to the point of desperation.

And that’s what he did.

He knew you wouldnt be there for a while, he knew his heart wouldnt be pumping like it always did when you showed up, so he fell back onto Plan B, fully emerging himself in a fantasy.

He hadn’t done that since you first showed up. A trip on memory lane.

But now he had a chance.

Though he had to admit, he’d much prefer it if you were there..

In his mind, he wasn’t in some silly dorm.

He was a pro-hero living in a large apartment with pristine windows that reflected the night lights of the mesmerizing city below like lanterns in the sky. The interior lights were off, the room cast in a soft orange glow by a gentle flame flickering in the sandstone fireplace situated in front of the satin burgundy couch he sat upon. Soft moans filled the atmosphere, paired with the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin echoing throughout the complex.

You were in his lap, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as you hung on for dear life. Your nails gave him an addicting sting as they dug into freckled skin, his name escaping your parted lips like a prayer, moans much louder than his own accompanying the pleas. He was in heaven, surely, for how else could there be such a beautiful angel in his lap?

You were glowing, cheeks blazing a deep maroon color, the light of the fire behind you encasing you in a soft, golden gleam.

A heavy breath blew out Izuku’s nose, closed eyes scrunching as he finally decided to rip his boxers off. His rough hand immediately wrapped itself around his cock, hissing in pleasure and thanking the heavens just this once for being such a heavy pre producer - he was far too enraptured by this fantasy to even think about trying to get his trusty bottle of lube.

Avoiding the flushed head, his hand squeezed and twisted it’s way up and down his slicked up shaft, hiding the wet noises with his pathetic whines.

He dived back into his mind.

You were kissing him fervently, tongues dancing in hot caverns as your noises of pure pleasure molded together. Though you were on top, you were far from having control. Izuku’s hands squeezed your hips in a death grip, bouncing you on his throbbing member, green sparks illuminating his body as to ensure a delicious yet inhuman pace. 

He could feel you. He swore he could, even from on this bed, he could feel you. You were so warm, and so, so very tight. 

He couldn’t handle it.

No.

No.

He needed more.

He whined desperately on his bed, back arching as he chased his fantasy but soon lost it as the familiar fluttering of small wings blocked out all other sounds.

He gasped, trying to catch the breath that seemed to constantly slip past him. He was too worked up.

He was too needy. He was aching, body shaking with anticipation and eagerness.

He craved you like a man craved water after stumbling through a burning hot desert all day.

You were so close to him, he could reach out and swear he could feel your feathers beneath his fingertips.

He was past the point of no return, his fantasy just couldn’t do it for him.

He needed you, god he needed you so so bad it hurt.

Sobs tore from his throat, hands stuttering as his eyes finally flew open, 

“(Y-Y/N)! Please!” He cried out with a strangled moan, vision wavering from the pain of not having you with him despite being right there.

Swallowing all of his pride, he looked towards your perched form, tears slipping from his sparkling viridescent eyes glazed over with lust.

His chest was heaving, thighs quivering and body trembling as he called out to you with a salacious plea, “I can’t..! I can’t do this anymore, please! Please, I-I need you!”

He was begging, begging for you whilst simultaneously thrusting into his hand.

Such an erotic display.

At the moment, you couldn’t even care about the fact he clearly knew it was you there. In fact, it didn’t even come to mind as a jolt of electricity coursed through your body, returning you to your human form as you eagerly jumped off the railing to him, all too willing to join his lascivious activities.

He moaned with delight the second your knee hit his bed, dipping his body towards you. His filthy hand shot off his dick, joining the other with gripping at your baggy sleepwear, pulling you towards his burning body. 

You fell onto him, not given a chance to collect your thoughts before a hand buried itself in your messy hair, yanking your hair so that he could easily smash his lips against your own.

The kiss was nothing like how you pictured your first with him to be. Instead of sweet and gentle, it was downright dirty and sloppy, but you couldn’t care less at the moment. You were both clearly inexperienced, but that didn’t matter. You just wanted to feel him, same as he wanted to feel you.

Your hands, shaking with the sudden extreme boost of adrenaline, cupped his chubby cheeks as your lips met again, and again, and again, drool mingling with his own as you tried to get the hang of this.

Eventually, your lips stayed connected, tongues fighting for dominance.

You couldn’t even tell, due to the heat of the moment overtaking your senses, but the entire time you made out, Izuku’s curious hands dragged ever-so-slowly down the sides of your body, feeling those curves that drove him absolutely insane. Just as it seemed as if you’d win the short battle, his large hands came over your plump ass, squeezing the soft flesh and causing you to gasp. With your mind distracted, he quickly smooshed his lips against your own once again, tongue defeating your own and giving him complete access to your mouth.

He explored it, the tip of the wet muscle seemingly grazing over and massaging in just all the right places, drawing a little moan from you that shot straight down to his neglected cock. It twitched against his stomach, and suddenly he wasn’t interested in just making out anymore. He needed more, and he’d fucking get it.

He’s waited so long for this moment, dreamt of it so often it became normal for him to wake up covered in sweat and with a raging erection straining against his shorts.

His grip on your ass moved to your hips, dragging them down onto his member and grinding you down against him.

You both moaned, hips involuntarily jerking against one another, starting up a grinding fest.

Moans melted together as you both continued to kiss before a particularly rough thrust sent your head flinging back and a mewl spewing from you.

“A-ah.. Izuku..!” You shivered, eyes closing as you gripped at his hair. He stared up at you, eyes full of love but darkened by immense desire as you shamelessly moaned above him. His hips ground his rock-hard erection against your soaked panties, brushing roughly against your clothed clit. Your body seemed to jolt with every brush against it, your senses completely overloaded as you were driven mad with lust.

You shrieked with surprise as you were suddenly flipped over, body slamming onto the mattress as Izuku crawled over on top of you.

He continues to grind himself against you, hands moving your legs up so they could wrap around his hips. Whilst kissing at the side of your neck, his nose brushed along the skin, searching for that special spot.

Amidst your onslaught of noises, you made a sound clearly indicating he had found what he had been searching for. His hot tongue licked at the sensitive skin before he bit down on it.

You cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure, jumping in his arms as an intense shiver rolled down your back, hands coming up to clutch at his broad shoulders smothered in freckles and burning with a blush.

You felt so, so tingly, so good, so.. So everything. 

Perhaps that’s simply because of how worked up you currently were, every single touch lit your body aflame again and again. Besides, how could you keep quiet when he was rubbing against you in just the right place?

He sucked harshly at the tender flesh before kissing it lovingly as if to apologize for the brutal treatment, licking the pain away and continuing to nibble along the area, leaving a bruise that was sure to remain in the morning. 

In fact, he decided, he was going to leave many. Just..not today.

He couldn’t deny, though, it did feel pretty good that his mark was on your soft skin where all could potentially see.

But for now, you had too many layers on for his current liking.

Izuku drew back, stopping the grind sesh - much to your apparent dismay, tugging at the hem of your shirt, silently asking for permission, and you willingly lifted your arms.

Had you not been so consumed with sheer desire, you would have covered your bare chest. Instead, you nodded your head, giving the man panting as if he had just run a mile permission to kiss his way down to the soft mounds he previously couldn’t help but bashfully stare at.

His lips lavished them both in kisses, praises unknowingly slipping out between his teeth until he finally decided to take one bud into his mouth. 

He was sloppy, messy, and all-around inexperienced, but you couldn’t deny the fact that it still felt good.

He spent surely less than a minute giving attention to each perky nipple, but it was made up for by a sweet kiss. You eagerly returned it, body arching as if trying to bring him closer.

It was so strange how he took control so easily, he had been begging only a few minutes ago.

Not that you minded, of course.

After all, who doesnt like being pampered by their long time crush?

“May I?” He whispered breathlessly, trembling fingers hooked around your panties, ready to pull them off.

You nodded immediately, oh-so desperate to have him actually touch you. You needed to feel him. All this grinding did was leave you with a throbbing clit, pussy so wet your juices were close to flowing down your ass, and the want for more.

He smashed his lips back against your own, practically ripping the fabric off of you and flinging it to only god knows where in this dark room.

His lips didn’t leave yours as his hands traveled down your sides again, squeezing your ass just to hear you gasp. 

You couldn’t tell if he was teasing you, or hit with a sudden wave of embarrassment as his fingers seemed to stutter on your thighs.

“It’s okay.. It’s okay..” You cooed against his lips, eyes opening to stare into his.

He gulped, swallowing his insecurities as he ran an index finger along your sit.

You bit your lip, eyes slipping closed once more and hips twitching forward at the foreign touch against heated flesh.

Izuku took this as a sign to go further, so he did.

Staring at your face, he pushed the finger past your lower lips, ignoring the intense throbbing of his dick as he felt how wet you were. The digit trailed down, searching for your clenching hole. When he found it, he couldnt help but teasingly trace around it, adoring the scrunch of your flushed face and the whine that followed suit.

“Please, Izuku..” You whimpered, and how could he say no to that?

He slowly pushed his finger in, nearly cumming on the spot from just how tight and warm you were. He openly moaned, watching as he sunk the finger all the way down to his knuckle.

Clouded eyes flickered back up to your face, noting how you didn’t seem to be in pain.

Licking his lips in anticipation, he pulled the finger out, then pushed it back in, over and over and over again as your thighs twitched around him, mouth falling open as you breathed heavily, moaning ever so softly.

His heart pounded in his chest as he added another finger, continuing the motions for before.

Your hips shimmied at the stretch, his fingers much larger than your own slim once, but so much nicer, because it was him, and not you. Your hips involuntarily chased the rhythm he set.

“Ahh.. haa..h.. Oh! Ah! Ahhhghh!” your eyes shot open as his fingers curled inside you, brushing against that spongey spot in your clenching walls. “Oh! T-There Iz-Izuku~!” You moaned out his name, and it was as if his body got put on autopilot, fingers thrusting in and out of your sopping heat, curly against that spot that had you moaning.

A particularly loud squeal left your parted lips, and he snapped. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed you so bad it hurt. Watching your body react violently around only his fingers? The cherry on the cake!

He needed his dick in you, to feel those soft walls clenching around him, to hear you cry out his name more as he brought you to the peak of madness.

But he was worried about how long he’d last.

He was so close before, what if he came nearly immediately?

Pulling his fingers out fully, which drew your attention back to him, he lifted them to his mouth, shoving them in and putting on a sinful display of licking them clean for you

He smiled at you with half-lidded eyes as you stared at him with astonishment. Lurching forward, you took him by surprise by gripping his sweaty hair and pulling him down for another passionate kiss, moaning around his tongue as you tasted your essence on him.

Keeping his focus on the kiss, Izuku’s hand blindly felt around his bedside table, opening the drawer and somehow managing to find the single condom he kept in there.

You noticed it from the corner of your eye, the moonlight reflecting on the silver wrapper.

“When did you get that?” You pulled away from the kiss, indulging in your curiosity as you stared at the condom between his fingers. 

He chuckled nervously, looking to the side in embarrassment, “I- I got a pack from the corner store.. Not long ago..”

He left out the motivation behind it, not ready to reveal he knew you were watching him the entire time - thus bringing forth his precautious side as he fumbled with measuring himself and getting the right size.

“Now, I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait any longer, princess..” He whispered under a heavy breath, ripping open the packaging, grabbing the latex and rolling it on himself, ignoring your eyes practically burning holes into his heated skin as they watched with eagerness.

Now that it was on, he looked back up to you, hand coming to gently caress your face, thumb smoothing over your blushing cheek as he leaned down to kiss you once more.

Yes, he wanted to pound you into next tomorrow right this instant, be he couldnt ignore the fact that this was your first time together. He wanted it to be.. Sweet.

As sweet as he could make it, anyway.

He jumped in his own skin when he felt your cold fingers wrap around his cock, bringing his oozing head towards your entrance. He was quick to replace them, though, just so he could rub himself between your folds and teasingly against your clit.

“..ready?” He asked nearly impatiently as he guided his tip to your entrance once more.

He slowly pushed in the moment you nodded your head.

Oh god! He thought to himself as he moaned loudly. He was only in by an inch and already it felt like his world was spinning! You were so damn tight! 

He nearly collapsed on top of you, bringing his hands up just to hold your own against the bedsheets.

He was being much too slow for your liking. You were so aroused on, so ready for him that, though you appreciated him going slow for you, you couldn’t handle another second with this agonizing pace.. So, without warning, your legs, which were still wrapped around his hips, tightened, and you forcefully drove his hips forward, fully sheathing him inside you.

He screamed in pleasure, head involuntarily being thrown back as his eyes rolled back. You moaned along with him, the feeling of being full outweighing the slight stinging pain that it brought with it.

His fingernails dug into your hips as he tried to control himself, his body vibrating from how much he was shaking. You held him flushed against you, eyes squeezing shut as you fought to relax around him and get used to his length. Which was pretty damn big! Perhaps you bit off more than you could chew..

But it didn’t take long for the pain to slowly subside, and you were back in business. Meanwhile, Izuku was staring cross-eyed up at the ceiling, holding himself back from exploding.

“Izu-”

“I-I Don-t think I c-can last long, (Y/N)...” he whimpered out, chest heaving and heart hammering. 

You nodded in understanding, he was quite busy with himself before you showed up anyway.

And now all this? It certainly must be sudden.

Plus, Izuku has always been a sensitive boy, so no doubt his nerves were on fire.

Nonetheless, he was quick to catch on to your ‘okay’ for him to move.

So, he pulled himself out halfway, nearly sobbing as he thrusts back in.

You felt so good.. So good.. sogood- “So good.. Ahh! A-ahh nnghjnn S-so go-goo- gahn! Hahhh!” The sheer velocity of his moans overpowered your own as he soon found himself uncontrollably drilling his cock into your pussy, absorbed by the feeling of you sucking him back in like a black hole just to squeeze the life out of him.

That hot coil that had been winding up in his stomach all this time was soon to burst, he could feel himself getting closer and closer with every slap of skin against skin, edged on by your beautiful moans.

“(Y-Y/N)!! I-I’m gonna! I-!” He could barely form any sentences, all that spilled out of that drooling mouth were moans and mindless babbles and praises.

You were just as close, but you wanted more.. So, you ripped one hand free from his grip, licking a digit before thrusting it down just to furiously rub at your puffy clit aching for attention.

You both moaned simultaneously, him at the sight, and you at the combined stimulation.

He was about to break, about to hit the point of no return when he found your G spot. You cried out in ecstasy, body practically arching of the mattress as he focused deep, powerful thrusts on that area.

And by some miracle, you reached your high before he did.

A wave of electrifying pleasure washed over you as your body tensed beneath him, back arching impossibly high off the mattress as your walls seemed to clamp down on his cock like a vice just as that burning hot coil wound tight in your belly burst. Stars bloomed in your eyes as your vision went black, Izuku’s name tearing from your throat.

Your hot, wet walls clamping down on him threw him into his own long-awaited and intense orgasm. His thighs tensed as he cried out in ecstasy into the night air, hips slamming into your fluttering cunt once more before thick, hot cum shot from his dick, filling up the condom deep inside of you.

You both stayed like that for a moment, basking in the afterglow of something you both waited weeks for.

He inhaled shakily before pulling his softening member out, rolling the condom off in a sleepy haze before tying it off and throwing it into the trash bin.

He flopped down beside you, far too sleepy to even think about getting up.

You were already fast asleep, and he couldn’t wait to join you. Wrapping his scarred arm around your waist, he pulled your warm body to his chest, tangling his legs with yours and falling asleep within moments to your soft breaths and the crickets singing outside his glass door.

There was a lot to talk about tomorrow morning.

You’d both have to explain yourselves, talk about what happened, what was next, and confirm feelings for each other. That this wasn’t just a ‘one night stand’ between friends.

And, of course, you’d be hit with a truck of pain between your legs, rendering you unable to walk properly. At least Izuku is there to take care of you, and that it was a Sunday.

Until you both come to the horrifying realization that Izuku, in the heat of the moment, accidentally flung your panties out the open window, which was then miraculously carried by a stray gust of wind just for Kaminari to find in a bush by the side of the building the following morning when taking the trash out.

Thank god nobody recognized them, but you could only hope you’d get the chance to get that back before he, along with Mineta, no doubt do something with them.

[soulwillower]

crush culture • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: fic where Richie and reader have been best friends since kindergarten, and have always had feelings for eachother secretly, until one day richie gets a girlfriend (just to take his mind off her), and the reader gets jealous and distances herself from him? he obviously gets upset by this- and things go on from there? sorry if it’s too specific! love u!

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of death, fighting, mentions of an abusive relationship, intentionally pissing off richie, a bit of angst, richie is an oblivious idiot, but reader is MUCH more of an idiot, like dude lmao, but i think that’s it, unedited tho

this isn’t rly based off crush culture, but i took the title from conan gray’s song :)  

[losers + reader are 18+ in this!!!]

3.8k words L O L :))

♡

you swear to god, you’re getting sick. that’s what this was, for sure.

it started about a month ago, when you started to get headaches and terrible hollow feelings in your stomach. it happened everywhere - in the line for coffee, in class, driving home from school, at the dinner table. but it got a hundred times worse at night and then seemed to triple in force every morning when you woke.

and it all came at you some time after richie announced he had a new girlfriend.

you were really sick the few days after that, enough that you stayed home from school and laid in bed, the pit in your stomach sinking. it didnt take long for you to realize how bad richie’s girlfriend was - she treated him like a dog, like he embarrassed her - and he didn’t even seem to mind. he just brushed off every offhand comment, rolled his eyes with a grin when she told him she didn’t want to see his friends or when she told him to stop talking. 

he still seemed to like her, anyways. and that thought made your stomach convulse.

so then you had to distance yourself from richie because it hurt you to see him with her. it hurt you to see him with someone who didn’t treat him like the incredible person he was. 

so yeah.

you say you’re sick, but you know that’s not really true. it’s easier than accepting reality at this point, though, so you spew this nonsense (to yourself, mostly) in order to justify ignoring your best friend of nearly a decade because christ, he is becoming unbearable.

like the other day, at lunch while you were all sitting in the courtyard. it was your first time eating with them again after almost a week and a half, as you’d been eating alone in your car recently to avoid richie. “rich, why’d you take off the nail polish?” bev asked, out of the blue, sounding disappointed as she grabbed his free hand and examined it.

he blew smoke out of his mouth slowly and you had forced yourself to look away, the sight of richie doing nearly anything these days being pretty dangerous for you. it also made you sigh a bit - you knew he only smoked at lunch now, since his girlfriend hated it.

“don’t want my paws to be prettier than y/n’s when we hold hands.” he had joked, wagging an eyebrow at you. you’d shook your head and looked to the ground in lew of a real response, just as you had been doing a lot recently.

you'd missed richie’s frown at your reaction, but you did catch his next statement as it was added on, “nah, actually it’s because the ol’ G-F didn’t like it. thought it looked too girly.”

you, stan, bev, and mike all stopped chewing to look at richie, in varying stages of bewilderment. you'd cleared your throat quickly but decided against speaking up just as richie’s phone started to ring. he’d answered it nearly immediately, the enthusiasm of which made you feel like you’re going to be sick again - because richie never answers your calls until the last possible minute.

god, jealousy is a fucking disease.

“hey, sugar.” he had purred suavely into the phone and for some reason, hearing him call someone else sugar had you abruptly rising, gathering your things and nearly running off to put as much distance between you and four-eyes as you possibly could, because you’re not sure how much more you could take.

after that, you were absolutely sure it was just pure denial on your part.

as far as you could tell, richie wasn't noticing too much. he still phoned your house every day, just to be met with your mother telling him you 'weren't available,' and then he'd call your own phone, which you'd let buzz itself into a dark hole on your bedside table while you stared at it solemnly, guilt heavy on your mind as he left voicemail after voicemail. 

he doesn't deserve it, you think as you open the doors to the school library, backpack on your shoulders. but you can't help it. you're not his girlfriend, and you're not mature enough to accept that with any ounce of elegance so instead you just ignore him all together. at least you're self-aware, right? that ought to count for something.

you shake your head just as a voice catches your attention, “well look who decided to show up!”

richie's sitting at the usual study table in the very back corner of the library, a spot tucked away by rows upon rows of dusty books and an alcove of couches. bill sits at the head of the table, scribbling his chicken scratch handwriting onto graph paper, mike next to richie with a textbook spread out flat. across from mike is stan, writing out his statistics work. 

all three of them wave at you before going back to their work, whereas richie just watches you expectantly. his feet are kicked up on the table, textbook balanced on his lap as he hovers on two leg chairs. his smile is as blinding as always, a dimple faint on his left cheek and full eyebrows raised in jest. his curls frame his face perfectly and you want to scream.

but you take your seat next to stan with a tight lipped smile, not really sure how to respond to richie. are you even allowed to be flirty with him like you used to? he still does it on the rare occasions when you do see each other - but that itself is the issue, you figure. his flirting is just a joke, a tiff from one friend to another. but you can't see him as just a friend, and that’s unfair to him.

so you stay quiet, which makes it infinitely more awkward.

richie clears his throat and you pull out your work with an awkward expression, the minutes slowly churning by in what has to be the quietest hangout with the Losers yet.

you feel the tension building in your body and in the air, and you're not sure what's wrong with you or why you have so much resentment towards richie in this moment, because he's not done one single thing to offend anyone in the last ten minutes.

then richie's phone rings suddenly and mike jumps a bit as he's startled out of the passage he's reading. you all look down to richie's screen, where his girlfriend's name blares up at you and all you can feel is white hot jealousy coursing through your body.

richie looks half way exhausted and annoyed at the call, which you find extremely odd and out of character, not to mention persistently frustrating.

as you all stare at the phone, the tension in the room stretches tighter and tighter, like a rubber band and you can't breathe -

"uh, why is she calling you?" mike asks, as if this was something that was forbidden or shocking in any way, and for some reason, that is finally it.

the rubber band snaps.

"how could you forget, mike? they're in love!" you say with mock enthusiasm. 

bill shoots you an alarmed look that you probably should read into or at least consider for a moment, but instead you're looking directly at richie, as if challenging him.

he blinks at you and clenches his jaw, "she and i haven't really been... talking recently." richie says lightly, shooting a glance to mike.

“well then maybe you’re just not right for each other.” you quip, the blood boiling in your veins. richie's eyes snap to you and you see the fire behind them as he suddenly breaks.

“sorry, did i miss the divine intervention when god floated down on a cloud of marshmallows and deemed you expert in relationships?” he says abruptly, making your eyes widen at his outburst. he continues, “because last time i checked, you’re a bit of a failure in that department. so i don't need some jealous, disappearing-act wannabe criticizing my life when she's barely even in it.” he seethes. it’s near quiet in the library anyways, but his words seem to silence the entire town.

with a quick glance to your right, stan and bill sharing an uncomfortable look, and mike is staring down intently at his work with wide eyes.

you want to die.

does richie know? has he known this whole time that you're just deeply, painfully head over heels for him? 

"i'm so sick of your bullshit. maybe you're jealous because you want what i had, but you’re being really fucking rude."

you nearly cry. or scream.

“criticism doesnt equal jealousy, okay?” you spit without thinking, immediately regretting even opening your mouth. you're so intent on covering for yourself, you don't even take into account the phrasing he'd used when referring to his girlfriend, instead fighting with richie in order to keep your secret from him.  

this is not how you’d intended today to go. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed in a way that almost makes you keel over in sadness, the guilt of the situation falling too heavily on your shoulders and crushing you.

it’s tranquilizing to see him like this -  he's fuming, but he's also got bright, glistening eyes which you think may be filling up with tears.

“i didn’t really ask for your input, though.” he mutters, cheeks reddening as tears definitely well in his eyes behind his lenses. “you can’t just ignore me at your every whim just to come right back and tell me what's good for me.”

you blink, shaking your head quickly, deciding to back off. now is not the time to fight, especially when you know he’s right. you had no idea it was hurting him like this. "richie, i... i just wanted-" you gape at him, extremely embarrassed.

“-i don’t fucking care what you wanted, y/n.” richie says sharply, causing you to shut your mouth so quick your jaw clicks in the silence. clearly, even the other boys are perturbed by richie’s actions and everyone’s staring down in silence at their homework.

it’s quiet like that for a few minutes, the tension so thick that you’d need a jackhammer just to chip away at it. but stan rummages through his bag suddenly, pulling out two painkillers and dry swallowing them. you don't look at anyone else, your stomach hollow and your heart thumping so hard in your chest you think you may explode.

"d-do you have a headache?" bill asks, looking at stan with concern. the sudden voice causes you to perk up, head flowing with humiliation at the fight you and richie had just had in front of your friends.

“yeah, but it’s not that bad. i guess i’m used to it.” stan says, pen between his teeth.

“just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it any less unhealthy for you.” you say louder than necessary, your mouth suddenly deciding to speak without consulting your brain. 

the glare of pure frustration that richie throws you pierces your lungs and suddenly makes you feel lightheaded. 

your pettiness doesn’t go unresponsive, of course, and mike sighs into his hands, standing up to gather his things. "alright. i can't study when you two are like this. i'll see you guys later."

richie sighs quietly and bill and stan mumble good-bye's. the library goes back to quiet for maybe three more minutes, until you see stanley start to fidget like he usually does when he's anxious. and then you notice it after a few seconds, too.

richie won't stop tapping his foot on the desk.

for everyone's sake, you try to ignore it, because you know richie can't help his compulsions - especially when he's upset (which, your mind painfully reminds you, is all your fault).

but it's driving you crazy.

“-if you keep doing that i’ll throw you out that fucking window rich, i swear.” stan mutters not unkindly, his eyes rolling to meet richie with a concerned gaze as richie stares out the window.

you raise your eyebrows, “what’re you even looking at?” you ask, trying to mend a bit of the open, festering wound you’d created in you and richie’s friendship.

without looking at you, richie shrugs. “checking to see how high the drop is. may be worth it to have schnoz just toss me down. it would certainly do you a favor right? gettin ol’ trashmouth gone for good.”

what was he saying? you look at him, scandalized. stan and bill don’t even say anything about the offensive nickname as you gape at richie. "what the fuck?" is all your brilliant mind can think.

"what, you can dish it but you can't take it?" richie says sharply. he shakes his head, looking upset. "i'm tired of trying to be friends with a fucking brick wall."

then he's gathering his one notebook and swiftly exiting your alcove in the library in a wind of cigarettes and cologne. 

you blink, his words sinking in and making you sigh shakily. your stomach feels hollow as you remember the expression of glee on his face when you'd walked into the library, and how completely different and broken he'd looked as he'd left. you think you're going to cry.

“every minute that you don't follow him digs yourself deeper into this grave, you know.” stan says, giving you a stern but encouraging look.

you let out a shaky sigh and scramble to grab your bag, tripping over your feet as you run out of the library, flying down the staircase faster than you've ever gone and making it to your lifelong best friend just as he reaches his car in the parking lot.

"-a brick wall?" you ask, out of breath. you see richie hold back an eye roll, his arms crossing over each other as he serves you a look of discomposure.

he shrugs helplessly, looking as if he's at his wit's end.

"what do you want me to say, y/n? you've been avoiding me for weeks. i know i'm annoying and obnoxious and whatever, but i'm not blind." he says, making you swallow as guilt pangs through your chest. you have been so fucking selfish, haven't you?

it hurts to hear him say that about himself. 

he sniffles a bit, sounding choked up as he goes on, "i've had a rough couple of days - weeks, even. but every time i'm near, it's like you've had more than enough, and you just leave. am i that repulsive? why do you suddenly hate me?" he asks, looking desperate as his eyes rim red, filling with tears again.

“what did i do?” his voice cracks as he whispers the sentence and your heart breaks in two.

your own vision goes glassy as he continues, "-i've needed you, y/n/n. i'm lost, i'm seriously not okay and you just don't care at all."

you're stunned for a moment, mouth opening and closing silently as your mind races to rush something out, anything,because you aren't sure you can bear to see richie look at you like this for one more second. but your silence comes off wrong to richie, and tears slip out of his eyes.

“don’t you love me?” he asks, voice hoarse and cutting right through you, deeper than any knife ever could. "don't you want me to be happy?" he adds and you take a shaky breath, looking helplessly at him, where you're met with nothing but glassy eyes and tear trails. your heart is slamming in your chest, tears falling from your eyes and you can't breathe.

"a-are you?" you ask, trying to keep your tone even although it comes out just as vulnerable as you feel. “h-happy. with her?”

richie freezes at your words, mouth slightly open and you watch a single tear course over his high cheekbones and down to his bottom lip as it shakes faintly. you curse yourself for the longing to feel those very lips against yours.

"i was." he whispers, voice shaking as he rubs his face with his hand under his glasses, the moisture of his fallen tears clinging from his long dark lashes onto his slender, shaking fingers. "and then - and then i lost you. and y'know, i got my girlfriend so i could distract myself, but she made me feel like absolute shit all the time and so i went and broke up with her, but -" he hiccups through his tears and you blink, biting your lip as tears cascade down your cheek in wet trails.

they broke up?

he broke up with her, and he's going through this breakup and trying to better himself after she tore him down and you've just been ignoring him - he thinks you don't care about him, that you don't love him. you start to cry harder. 

"-i thought she'd distract me from you. i-i'm sorry." he says, his voice muffled by his hands as they cover up his angelic face, his shoulders shaking as more tears fall. "i'm so sorry."he repeats. 

you see double for a second, completely shocked by his words as the breath leaves your lungs. he tried to distract himself from you... and he’s so hurt because of what you did. 

but finally, for the first time this whole damn day, you find the right words. "i-no, richie, i'm sorry, please - fuck." you break, letting out a sob as you rub your eyes furiously in search of any relief from the guilt ripping you in two. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry, i can't believe i did this, i didn't want to hurt you, i'm just so selfish." you babble, his sniffles making you open your eyes.

he looks so alone and so vulnerable as he hugs his arms around himself in search of comfort, tears still falling from his bright eyes and down his rosy cheeks. 

he looks devastatingly beautiful in the golden sunlight of the afternoon, a breeze ruffling his curls lightly. "just please, i can't - i can't deal with you hating me. please, please, please."

he's pleading with you and you think you may be sick from the guilt and sadness that envelopes you, so you spring forward and wrap your arms tightly around him. the force of your body pushes him against the side of his car and the way he clings back to you like you're the last thing holding him to earth just makes you cry even harder.

"i don't hate you, richie. i love you, i love you too much." you say, your body shaking as he just holds you tighter against him. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean any of it. you're right. i was just jealous... i'm so sorry. i was so jealous of her, i couldn't see you be with her." you mumble. "i'm so sorry."

richie pulls you back gently at your words, his eyes wide and wondering as you look at each other. "what?" he asks so innocently, his eyelashes wet and dark and his lips parted. 

you can count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, you're so close. you can feel his shuddering breath against your face as he huffs in a breath. your hands hold onto his shoulders and you decide to fuck it, you just have to tell him how sorry you are, to explain yourself.

"richie, i'm in love with you. and - and when you and her got together, it hurt so much, and i didn't want to deal with the fact that i couldn't have you, so i just ignored you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry." you say it quickly and in one breath, looking down at your shoes and how they point straight towards his.

"you're in... love with me?" he says weakly, sounding hopeful as you finally look back into his eyes guiltily. 

you laugh wetly, "of course i am, richie. how could i not fall head over heels for everything about you?"

he tears up again at your words, but this time it's accompanied by a beautiful smile and a light, wet laugh. he shakes his head, his arms circling your waist tighter as he presses his forehead against yours. your butterflies tickle your stomach at your proximity.

"fuck, y/n. i can't believe i spend my time trying to get my mind off you." he says and your breath hitches a bit. "do you have any idea how long i've been in love with you?" he asks quietly, and you let out another small laugh out of shock, but it's wet and gleeful.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, your finger curling around a strand of the dark hair on his head. he shakes his head, your noses rubbing slightly. "it's okay, y/n. i love you so much. please let me forgive you." he says, pulling a smile out of you that you don't think anybody else ever could. you nod shortly, looking into his eyes as one last tear falls. 

he kisses you tenderly then, taking your breath away.

richie fills up your every sense as he clings to you desperately, his lips salty from your combined tears and his arms strong. his tongue is gentle as it runs along your lips and enters your parted mouth, one of his hands sliding up to tilt your head up towards him. you're breathless because of him for the millionth time in your life and you decide kissing richie is the only thing you want to do forever. 

you pull away slowly, and as you lean back he presses a chaste second kiss to your lips, causing you to grin. 

you barely make eye contact as you pull apart and then you greedily pull him back to you, his lips finding yours yet again with a sweet, loving laugh.

"i love you too, rich." you mumble against his lips. he sighs almost dreamily as you pull back, biting your lip and laughing when he opens the passenger door, gesturing to it with a shy grin.

"now can i please buy you a burger?" he asks, almost bashfully, and your heart does somersaults. you nod and kiss him again, his hand falling to the small of your back, palm wide and fingers lower than you'd expected. he pulls away and his grin is loving, his eyes hooded in pride as you caress his cheek softly before you slide into the car seat.

he holds your hand the whole night and refuses to let go until you slip through your front door at near midnight, blushes on both of your cheeks and lips kiss-bruised.

the butterflies you feel as you fall asleep with a grin on your face are the exact same ones richie feels as his head finally hits the pillow, a giddy smile on his own face as he smiles to himself in the dark halfway across town.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx@brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier   @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s  @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters

[rightnowyoucanttell]

Malibu, Next To You

Title: Malibu, Next To You 

Summary: Is it supposed to this hot all summer long? Or is it just him? A very fluffy date with some minor molehills between Veronica and Grayson on a Malibu beach. Just because the sun is down, the night is still young, and so are they. But which way does it go...

Warnings: Fluff, implied smut (I don’t write smut, sorry guys), talks of anxiety 

A/N: When this idea came to mind, i say that because i have a roughly planned full series timeline in my head it started with just the first part as a blurb but then I was like hey let's make a series, it was originally to be a reader insert (Y/N, Y/L/N, ect.) but i always have problems doing that as they feel too weird to write so I came up with Veronica and added it to the plot/timeline whatever you'd call it. so you can do that or appreciate it for the beauty it is with Veronica and Grayson. 

Tags: @dzoint ​ @graysavant @blindedbythelightt ​ @tadadolan @heartofalionxo ​ @beatement-l ​  @grayswhore ​@saggitariusagirl @tattoogray @onlyangels-world @dxlxnbby

Part one 

Series Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know..” Ronnie drifted as she walked kicking the sand beneath her feet forward in a rhythmic pattern,” I’ve never enjoyed going to the beach..” Veronica glanced up from the sand and over to Grayson who gazed down to the ground before making eye contact.

The smell of saltwater brushed their noses, seagulls cawed in the distance as the water crashed closer and closer and then pulled itself back out. The pair, Ronnie and Gray watched the sunset as they walked barefoot as the tide came in and set back out, like both of their hearts, coming to a calm stop and then flooding back in a rampage of fluttering butterflies, beating in there chest.

He explained the currents and she just gawked in a secretive manner, so he didn’t notice, the dumbfounded look his body gave her. 

    “Really? You don’t say, I mean I figured that much, for someone who has a fear of seagulls and drowning…” he pondered the thought as his feet stopped the wallow in the incoming tide that was just far enough from Ronnie who was in the dry portion of sand.

She giggled shaking her head continuing down the shore all while facing Grayson,”..are you saying you’re not enjoying yourself?” he shouted over the crashing waves that he ran from to catch up to her. 

“You remembered…,” Ronnie’s heart fluttered. Grayson knew about her anxiety.  Ronnie explained to Grayson that night in Starbucks, her fears, in return for him doing the same.  There was a semi prolix list. Seagulls, birds, circus clowns, large crowds, heights, and significantly Drowning.

She shook herself from the bliss and continued, “but, no. No no, no.. of course not. You brought me here!” she exclaimed twirling with open arms, the wind catching her grey wool shawl that covered her white strapless sundress with bright red roses.

Her damp dark brown hair caught in the breeze flew gently, her eyelids covered her vibrant green eyes. Grayson’s eyes followed Veronica in awe as she twirled in the sand and breeze all the way as she ran back to him and nearly ran into him. 

   The two laughed and turned around to walk back to the there picnic blanket, both inaudible deciding it was time to eat,” Your something else, you know that?” he offered up to the conversation. His hand brushed against gently against Ronnie’s. 

   Ronnie just smiled letting silence sit between then,”..Something good I hope…” the entirety of the walk back to the picnic blanket and the food was silence, blissful and incentive for Grayson, but nervous and nerve wracking for Veronica. She hastily wondered if she had said the wrong thing, or turned him off or away and that’s why he hadn’t said anything, but she tried telling herself it was just the anxiety and the nerves this Italian boy from New Jersey stirred up. 

  Veronica Chandler likely always would be anxiety-ridden. After all, Fears my life, Ronnie had the words tattooed on and wrapping around her wrist. The black ink still had water droplets from when she had been swimming and wading in the water with Grayson. Veronica left the fishing on her stepfather’s, Darren,  boat to him and her older brother Noah, even all the while, an excelling science student, she never got how they were floating.  

    However, if tonight, if Grayson asked her, Ronnie probably would step foot on a boat.  She never willing went to the beach, even though living in Miami with private beach access growing up at her home, and certainly did not stand by the ocean. But on this evening, Grayson brought her there, and she was happy that he did.

So here they were. 

  The sunset warmed Veronica the pinks and blues entangling themselves, like the hopes of how Veronica undeniably wanted to be entangled with Grayson later that night. Something in Grayson hoped it too.

On a picnic blankets, following a stroll along with the tide on the now rather deserted from the public eye, on a beach in Malibu. Munching on what Ronnie’s mom would call “Rabbit Food”. 

  “This is one of the best wraps I’ve ever tasted,” Ronnie added as she quietly finished chewing her toes in the sand below and surrounding the blanket. 

"Its from.." Grayson paused to chew," this stand in downtown LA, Marty's I think, they're delicious." They made eye contact, Ronnie smiled with her eyes, covering her mouth as she was chewing.

"We should go together sometime,"Ronnie offered nervously.

 "Defiently...,"Grayson brushed his hands above the wrap on a clear piece of plastic wrap beefy ass salad chickpea wrap sat on, in between final swallows of his bites of food he started, "so... care to explain why you ignored me for a week, 'ronica?"

   That's when the evening went south.

What Grayson didn't know, that the week Veronica avoided him..one week desperate Gray was left with no sign she was alive, no text, calls, and no DM’S except the confirmation seen from the first night. 

 That week the week she ignored him, the week he was referring too, Veronica,  was in Miami visiting her mother. Veronica had deep-rooted feelings for Grayson.. but, again, like a record used, the last had left a few scratches, and overtime... they scarred.

But it was nothing, Gianna, Mama Chandler couldn't fix...

   Ronnie sighed heavily,"Why does everyone I love settle for someone so low of them?" She pondered the thought in silence as she finished her rant of the night she met Grayson.

 “..well, he sounds like a keeper..and handsome....,” her mother drifted. Ronnie wasn’t paying attention fondling with the small strands that belonged to the blue and white polka-dotted beach towel her mother and herself were tanning on. Within seconds her attention was grabbed by an incoming frisbee, that landed...perfectly in one of the white polka dots. Ronnies eyes widened when she caught its sight, she gazed curiously and then picked it up examine it, before tossing it to the wind aimlessly,”-Veronica! You could have hit someone!” Gianna gently smacked the four-arm of her daughter’s right hand with the back of her hand. 

    “Mom!? What the fuck? Did you not see that it landed in the circle, that’s not a coincidence...that’s a fucking conspiracy. Like how a cartoon predicted 9/11 and then moon landing was faked...," Ronnie slumped back so her back rested against the beach chair set up behind her. 

"It was an accidental coincidence..dear," her mother licked the tip of her finger pulling the pages apart. Her sun hat covers her sunglasses covered eyes, and held her brown hair in place around her shoulders, she was paler than Ronnie, she and noah got there skin from her absentee father, he was the Brazilian in her jeans.

"Yeah well, accidents don't just happen, accidentally, mother," Veronica huffed and crossed her arms leaning back farther and closing her eyes, enjoying momental peace before the woman started up again.

"When you head back to Los Angeles, you better text that boy, I'll be damned if you pass up a chance with someone like that. He's a good one that Grayson, I can tell. You cant let your life wither away to nothing and give up on love because of one bad drinker and a beater bad apple.. theres good people out there.. you just gotta look in front of you."

The memory on the beach faded, she hadn't realized she had been gazing into Grayson's hazel eyes the entire time the flashback played out in her head like a scene from a movie,"do you, uh. Really want to know? Is it fundamentally necessary.." she drifted off leaving a tenacious gap of silence. Just the wind and the waves to be heard.

Grayson scoffed a chuckle,"..well, no, but, I'd like to know."

Ronnie thought for a few moments, if she didnt tell him, he'd be suspicious, if she told him he might doubt the feelings she had if they were legitament,"I was in Miami. With my mom, i needed advice. A break. I was worried you were..a player. And now I know, I know that your not. Your kind, cute, hot, sexyyy, and-"Veronica's ramble was cut off by Graysons hands wrapping and cupping her head into his hands and pressing his lips to hers.

Internal fire works went off, if it were a movie they would be exploding over the water between there heads just visable to camera shot. Both hearts beat against there respective rib cages, not knowingly they both had been wating for this moment the entirety of the night.

Ronnie's hand came to touch Grays chest shortly before she came up to breath in the salty air,"that.." she panted,"was hot. But, I dont know.. if this'll work. I'm lonely and broken.. and can barely take care of myself, just, Grayson-"

"I like that your broken, and lonely" he grasped her face one hand still behind her head his thumb caressing her cheek,"not like in a kinky sort of way," they both laughed for a few seconds, Ronnie looked down. He placed his pointer fingern underneath her chin, tilting it up,"I could be lonely with you.."

"My place or yours?" She smirked. Hoping that night of entanglement would happen after all.

"Mine, definetly mine." He breathed there chins pressed together.

Ronnie had never run faster than she didn that night, all the way back to the porsche.

[babypinkboobear]

Stars Who Listen

Chapter 3: They Listen To Tears

“So when were you gonna tell me about your nightmares” Adora asked casually. As if that question hadn’t sent Catras carefully constructed world crashing down.

Catra couldn't breathe again. She didn't know if she could speak, didn't know if she wanted to speak. How did Adora know? She had been so careful. So quiet. Fuck, how long had she been worried? Was she mad? Disappointed? Did she hate Catra now? Catra wouldn't blame her if she hated her. Fuck, she would probably die if Adora hated her. She always messes up. Even when she's trying to be good she messes up. She’d been in her head too long. She needed to say something, anything, but what? Deflect. She didn't want to outright lie, but Adora was so happy. She didn't need to be bothered by Catras stupid nightmares.

“They really aren't that bad Adora,” Catra said lying through her teeth, they were awful. Now to sprinkle in a bit of truth, “I didn't want to wake you up for some silly nightmare. You need sleep Adora,” She said giggling to try and lighten the mood.

Adore looked at her, something sad in her eyes. “Catra, you know I love you right? I would do anything for you. I just want you to be happy,” she practically whispered that last part, quiet, like she wanted to make sure only Catra heard her confession.

Catra was stuck, she still couldn't fucking breathe. One of these days she's going to collapse because she can never seem to breathe. She didn't know what to do. What to say?

“I love you too Adora, and I am happy. I'm happy because I'm with you,” Catra said. This one was all true. Catra was happy. Most of the time. “You make me happy, Adora. Being with you makes me happy.” Oh it was so nice not to lie. She loved Adora, more than anything she loved Adora. She wanted Adora to be happy. She’d be happy so Adora could be happy. That meant not telling Adora about the true extent of her nightmares. Even if it hurt, Catra would keep this her dirty secret.

“Then why are you lying to me Catra? Look, I spent years sharing a bed with you in the Horde, I know how late you would wake up, I spent years waking you up for training. I know you're not sleeping through the night. Catra, talk to me . You don't have to pretend everything is okay. It hurts that you would hide things from me”

Catras heart shattered. Her plan crumbling. Her tears flowed freely, and Adora tugged them into a more private alcove, where the guards couldn't see them. She hadn't cried since they had returned to Bright Moon. Even in the dead of night, she could never seem to cry. But now, knowing that Adora was hurting because of her, Catra couldn't seem to stop the tears. They just kept coming. Her knees collapsed, and Adora sank to the floor with her, tugging Catra into her lap. She ran her fingers through Catras hair and held her tight. She knew her words would not help yet.

It seemed that once Catra started crying she needed to catch up for all the times she had wanted to cry in the past two months. Catra didn't know how long she sat in Adoras lap, sobbing her heart out. Adora though, knew it had been nearly an hour, Glimmer and Bow had wandered by at the 30 minute mark and she had waved them off. She knew she would need to discuss this development before she left after lunch. So she had an hour, if she wanted to be on time. She also knew she would absolutely not be on time and that was fine with her.

Catra broke the silence.

“Im sorry” She whispered, her voice cracking. She was exhausted. Mentally and physically. She should come clean, she would come clean. She had been wrong. Hiding things from Adora was wrong and now Adora was upset because of Catra. And it fucking sucked. So she said it again, and again, and again. An endless stream of  I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry sorry I’m so sorry. “Please Adora, I'm sorry.”

Adora was quick to shush her. “It's okay, my love.” Fuck she hated that Catra thought she needed to lie to her. Why would she lie to her? It didn't matter. All that matters is that Catra never feels the need to lie to her again. “It's all okay. It'll all be okay. I promise. I'm not mad. I just hate that you think you need to lie to me. I love you,” and because it felt right, “I'm sorry”

It was so quiet that Adora wasn't sure she heard it. When Catra whispered it.

“You were so happy, I didn't want to be the reason you stopped being happy again”. And this time Adoras heart shattered. Honestly, she should have known that Catra would think like that.  Would think that somehow, her being scared and lost in an entirely different world, would make Adora upset. It's normal, what Catra’s going through. Adora knew that. She had gone through something similar when she left the Horde. Fuck, its okay. Catra just needs comfort, so she’ll learn that her healing makes Adora happy.

Adora told her as much, “Baby, you’ve been through so much darkness in life, you know that? And now your whole world has changed for the better, and it's scary because you're so used to waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are expecting something to go wrong, and that's okay, it's part of the process of healing. I love you, and I want you to come to  me when you are hurting, that would make me happy. It shows that you trust me with all of you.” Adora could feel Catras body slowly relaxing into her hold. She knew Catra was listening. “Life isn't going to be perfectly happy now, but as long as you trust me, it'll be more than enough.”

Catras breathing had calmed, and she nuzzled closer to Adora. Maybe, she was right. Maybe, Stars, maybe… she needed to tell Adora everything, but she couldn't. She couldn't talk. She was so scared. What if she ends up hating me? What if she's lying? What if she doesn't actually want me? No. She was going to trust Adora. She had fought Horde Prime for Catra, she had said she loved her on the brink of death. And as terrifying as it was. Catra was going to try and trust Adora with all of her. Even if it was scary.

“You're right” she whispered, her voice was soft, sad, and strong, “I lied, the nightmares, they're awful, and, and terrifying” Her voices cracked on that last word. She didn't like admitting she was scared. “I haven't slept through the night since… since the war ended. And I didnt want to ruin how happy you were and you wanted me to be happy so I had to be happy for you.” her chest was tightening again. She almost couldn't breathe. She closed her eyes and moved impossibly closer to Adora. Oh my Stars, she couldn't breathe. Why could she never fucking breathe?

Adora kissed her forehead, “I'll tell you as many times as you need. I'm happy being with you. Through everything life throws at us. Even if it's nightmares, and sadness, and fear. Im happy with you.”

Catra nodded. “I'll tell you when I have nightmares now. I promise I'll do better. I promise. Im sorry. I… I'm so sorry I made you upset. I hate making you upset.” Catra felt like she could never apologize enough. Never ever enough, she never does enough.But she’d try, for Adora, she’d try.

“It's all going to be okay Catra, I promise. I love you, so much.” And somehow that made everything just better enough. “How about we go grab lunch?” Adora asked. This conversation was over. It had hurt but it needed to happen. It was time to move on, and make Catra feel better again.

Catra mustered a nod, and Adora picked her up and walked them to get lunch. Catra definitely did not go peacefully, she definitely did not cuddle closer, and she definitely did not thank adora for carrying her. That definitely did not happen. Nope because that would be super embarrassing.

(1414)

[alkali-is-sleeping]

The Dog Star 2

[cw: some shouting, anger, could be triggering for some]

<previous chapter>

If my little brother — a Death Eater who made Walburga, our mother very proud — had not gotten himself killed at the hands of the Dark Lord, I most likely would not have inherited my family’s home. Twelve Grimmauld Place loomed below us. The House of Black had never been welcoming, but I needed to make this Hari's home; its needed to welcome him.

I revved again as we made our descent, careful to make sure that Hari was still safe as we landed.

But there was a shadowy figure at the door. I wrapped Hari with my jacket, separating his sleepy head from what may lay ahead, panicking at the thought that he may be taken from me, or worse...

I neared cautiously, I daren’t say fearfully, my life had overflown with it for too long and I needed my courage more than ever now. The closer I got, the more I became certain that this was someone I knew, but the pressing fog in my head made it impossible for me to say who until —

Fearful amber eyes turned to me, lowered on the slowish breathing lump in my jacket and glistened under the light of the street lamps and the stars — I was named after the brightest one — and the no longer full moon.

Remus teared up more and more the closer I drew. He reached his hand out, once I was near enough, as if to touch Hari, but retracted it just as quickly, thinking better if it.

I did not want to let go of the baby. He was a lifeline then, keeping my head over water, stopping me from drowning in the grief and the mess and the truth and —

Remus had always been the best at gauging my emotion, my confusion radiating to him perhaps, permeating his ever calm demeanor, telling him that my hands and this baby were, at least for now, surgically attached. He tapped his wand to the door causing it to clunk painfully through the soundless night, and pushed it for us all to get in.

He lit the fire in the drawing room, all the candles and lamps and eventually took to standing in a far corner of the room staring at sleeping Hari, occasionally wiping his eyes with his tatty jumper sleeve.

“W-why didn’t you tell me you weren’t the Secret Keeper?” I started at the sound; it was the first voice I’d heard all night aside from Hari’s cooing and babbling.

I lifted my eyes to Remus’s; red and bloodshot, just like mine probably.

“Forgive me... we didn’t think we could trust you... Voldemort had so much he could have offered you in exchange for...” I gulped. The mistake I had made, it cost my best friend and his wife their lives and I could hardly bring my self to telling Remus.

“I went to Peter’s hiding place,” I continued, “I was supposed to check if he was still ok, but he was gone. No struggle, nothing to suggest he left against his will even... it was my idea to make him Secret Keeper...” I whispered the last bit, tears rolling down my own cheeks, landing on Hari’s little blanket.

Remus hurried next to me, wrapping his arms around me and the baby, his tears mingling with mine.

“No one blames you,Sirius. Peter, well he...”

“Talentless rat,” my voice filled with anger suddenly, burning and smoking just like the Potters’ cottage... “Must have been his proudest moment, selling out his friends and their baby son...” I sobbed drily. “Lily was pregnant again... she and James told me last week, while you were recovering from the moon. They were going to tell you, once you were better and... and...” I trailed off. I didn’t want to stop talking, not when there we’re still so many truths wanting to get out, squirming and rioting in my stomach. I wanted to let them all out, to talk and talk until this was all a distant memory. But Remus’s eyes. His eyes were wide and they had stopped leaking. They were staring at me and for a second — perhaps it was my own paranoid mind, perhaps I imagined the contempt — he did blame me.

I think he was going to say something else before the fire had glowered iridescent green. We both took out our wands and and stood abruptly, Remus in front of me, me covering Hari. Ready for the worst.

A purple wizard’s hat, followed by a great mass of flowing silver-white hair which hid a benevolent old face and then the rest of the purple clad body. Dumbledore.

"I thought I might find you all here." His voice, a seemingly perpetual tone of casual amusement, irked me. My best friends were dead and he had the nerve to stand in my house and tell me, matter-of-factly, he knew he'd find me here? "I'd asked Hagrid earlier tonight to bring young Hari to me," he said, sitting, uninvited, on the nearest armchair. I was shooting daggers at him, but he seemed not to care, looking only between Remus and the baby I held. "But by the time he got there, the baby was gone, taken, the locals told him, by a man in a leather jacket and a flying motorbike... I knew, instantly of course, that his godfather must have taken him to safety."

I shifted my feet uncomfortably and redistributed Hari's weight in my arms. Why was Dumbledore here? What did he want?

I looked at Remus, who was in turn looking at Dumbledore, who was finally looking at me.

"I'm not sorry," i said, chin lifted in the airin defiance, daring him to make me apologise for having gone against his will.

"No one is asking you to be bu--"

"And I am not giving him to you."

My interuption was punished by silence, broken only by a dry cough from Remus. Dumbledore's eyes, bright moonstone, penetrating to the depths of my soul...

"Sirius, from what I gather, as Hari's guardian, you wannt what is best for him. However, you do not seem to have the full measure of things," Dumbledor was now making a dome with his hands, leaning forward on his seat. "I have good reason to believe thathis mother's sacrifice, Lily'sbloodshed for her son, has formed an unpenetrable protection on Hari. This is little understood magic, magic which is the sole reason Hari got away from Voldemort's attack with only a scar."

It was his turn to shoot me daggers; he most likely didnt mean it, but his gaze made me want to run and run. I didn't want to hear about what really happened, I'd seen enough, endured enought, I did not want anymore.

But he did not care, he kept talking, telling me everything, feeding me more and more dark, worm like truths.

"This is why i believe Hari needs to live with his aunt and uncle, blood relations of Lily's." I stared.

"WHAT?!" I bellowed, unable to control the sudden influx of anger bubbling over the surface. Hari woke at the sound, fussing and sqirming. remus made to take him from my grip, but I pushed him away, making him nearly-stumble back,eyes wide.

I rocked the baby slowly, allowing him to ease back to sleep.

Instead, I took to a menacing whisper; "You mean to send him to live with Muggles? People who dont even know him? Did you know Lily never wanted him to meet Petunia and..." I struggled for a name, "Whats-his-face? You want to send him to a place where, perhaps for most of his life, he won't know who he is or where he came from? A-and can't ypu imagine what that'd do to him? That no one will have bothered to tell him about his parents?" I panted as if I had shouted; I said all of that in one angry breath.

"I suppose I'm an easier book to read than I imagined." He was wiping his glasses with the hem of his amethyst robes and, my, did I want to throw stones at him just then, to watch him and his stupid, calm face, shatter into a million pieces, leaving only his delicate, half-moon glasses.

"I'm his godfather. I was the one James and Lily appointed as his guardian if they..." I couldn't say it. Maybe tomorrow could wake up, take some Fire Whiskey down to drink with James as we laugh loudly, like we did in schoool, before the war, laugh about the pathetic dream I'm having...

"Isn't... isn't there some magic in that?" I pleaded, finally defeated perhaps. Dumbledore paced the room twice round, Remus' eyes on him the whole time while i closed mine and imagined James grin, full of laughter and love and... life.

"Perhaps... But more than anything, I think I am to trust the Potters' judgement and their own trust in you, for now. I will decide if this is really a good choice after I have gathered enough information. Until then, you are not to leave this house under any circumstances. Not until I have good reason to believe he will be magically protected from teh Death Eaters out to avenge their fallen Master. And, I am also to understand, given that you are both here, that Peter Pettigrew was the spy the Order had so many whispers about, correct? You are not to search for him either, as I am sure you might be tempted to."

Remus and I just nodded deftly. I could not have cared less about this sentence at Grimmauld Place, though the fleeting urge to go after Peter, to throttle him and rip him limb from limb, did possess me for seconds. But Hari was just so much more important to me, and every second with him was precious, like little glittering pearls gathering in my hands.

"That concludes my bussiness here, and my welcome has been long over stayed, so I shall leave you to it." He Dissaparated.

The next moments all blurred into one,and i cannot say how, by sunrise; the pale greenish orange promisisng a cold, summer's morning, we found ourselves laying in the guest bed, Hari between us, still fast asleep. The both of us staring into space, our pillows damp and salty.

Despite the growing sunlight, Sleep's teder fingers caught up to me...

[A/N: gods this one was long, im sorry it took so long to post, ill try to be faster with chapter 3 (which mind you is longer still than this). i hope dumbledore moral ambiguity shows, dont worry if it doesnt, it really will further on. hope you enjoy and thanx for reading!!]

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[mysteryofren]

Nice To See You’ve Made A Friend

part 12 of So Happy Together

Note: since i didnt upload for a few days you get 2 in a row!!

part 11: https://mysteryofren.tumblr.com/post/616033575057358848/the-first-order

  The next morning you woke up before the girls. You looked at how Gideon was asleep on El and how Phas was hanging off the air mattress with half her body on the floor. You smiled. These idiots were your friends. You picked your phone up and unlocked it. A message from Hux. 

‘So last night was pretty fun, but we still never discussed what happened.’

‘Yeah im sorry, i should've warned you before hand :/’ 

  You got up and headed to the kitchen. Gideon woke up and followed after you. You gave him his food and mixed his meds in with them. Luckily he was a good boy and took his meds with no fuss so you never had to hide it from him. While he ate you went around the kitchen looking for things you could use to make breakfast. First you made some eggs, then you had decided to make pancakes. As you were taking the ingredients out you heard a car pull up. You went to get the door and you watched your grandfather get out of his car.

“Ahh hello my dear, how are you?”

“I'm good. I hope you don't mind, my friends stayed the night it was late and they wanted to come with me.” 

“Of course not my love,” he walked in the house and put his bag down before hugging you. “Your friends are always welcome here.”

  You hugged him tight and helped him take his bag upstairs. When you reached his room you put his bag down on the bed. 

“There is something i need to discuss with you, but let's go downstairs so i can help you with breakfast.” oh no. up until now you forgot he knew about what you had done at school. You two headed downstairs as he started bringing down bowls to start mixing the ingredients. You brought down pans, and nervously looked at him. 

“I'm not angry. I know you'll have an explanation as to why you had skipped your classes.”

“I'm so sorry pop pop. I just was having a horrible day. I already spoke to Luke, and I explained it to him too, and I apologized. He knows I don't intend to miss class again. “

“I know he let me know he spoke to you. What happened, my love? You've never done something like that and I heard from my friend Mace that your grades had gone down. What's wrong, tell me.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes. You turned to him and hugged him as they fell down your cheeks.

“It's a long story pop pop.” 

“We have time my dear.” 

 You both started cooking, and you told him about everything. You told him about how Ben had consoled you after the phone call with your parents. How he talked to you and listened to you. How you both had talked for days. How on new years he kissed you, and you two spent the rest of the night glued to each other like you two were in love. Then you talked about how he ignored you, and how you found out he was with Rey. you told him about the good things too. Like how you and Matt became friends. How you guys formed the first order. The lunches on the lawn, the late dinners at Maz’s diner, and the trip to the ice cream shop. The funny conversations and stupid debates. You also talked about the night before. The way you guys all skated and sang along to the music, the games you guys played, and conversations you had. Then you went into how Rey had ruined it. 

“That does sound like quite the story. I'm so sorry that all this has happened to you my love. Do you think that something could have happened with Ben?”

“I don't know, but I don't wanna sit on it. It just makes me more upset.”

“No problem my love. Don't let him and your cousin get to you. You're too beautiful and too smart to dwell on one boy. I know you'll find someone who loves and adores you.”

“I know i will. It's just he's the first guy i've ever felt this way for.”

“You'll feel it again, trust me. Before i met your grandmother i met a woman who i thought i would marry. She broke my heart badly, and I thought that was it for me, but then I met your grandmother.”

   It was weird to think of him loving anyone else. Him and mama had seemed like they were with each other forever. You two had finished cooking when Phasma and El came downstairs. El hugged your grandfather when phas went to him to say hello.

“Phasma i haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?”

“I'm very well sir, how about you?” it's a little weird how quickly she can change from her normal goofy self to an overly formal robot. You guys grabbed plates and served yourself and went out to the backyard to eat. You watched Gideon trot around chasing little bugs, and watching squirrels play. Your heart was so full of love for him. He's probably your new best friend. Your grandfather joined you guys for breakfast. You all ate and listened as your grandfather told stories. He asked about what Phas and Elaine were up to. Elaine had told him about the NYU coach coming to her game. You all talked about it for a moment when he decided to go to the game along with you and the rest of the group.

After you all had finished eating your grandfather announced that he would be having to go back to work in his home office. After he left you three together you decided that you would all go to the dog park with Gideon. As you cleaned after breakfast you received another message from Hux.

‘I agree. Not that i didn't enjoy kissing you, but i was caught off guard. Had i known it as going to happen i would have made it better.’

‘Well next time ill let you know when im gonna do it ;)’ were you really flirting with Hux. Are you really this desperate. No. it's not desperate. It's harmless flirting, you both know there's nothing behind it. 

‘So what are you ladies up to today?’ 

‘Were taking my dog to the dog park, and then we might have lunch at the park but were debating on it’

‘I don't understand how you can handle a dog. Cats are far superior.’ 

‘And how would you know?’ 

Just then he sent you a picture of him. You could tell it was a bit old, but he was in sleep clothes with a tiny ball of orange fur in his lap. 

‘This is Mllicent. I took her on her first day home with me. When I brought her home with me my dorm mate and I agreed to keep her a secret as to not get in trouble.’ another photo came through this time the cat was a bit bigger. She was curled up on a laptop. 

‘HUX SHES BEAUTIFUL!!!!!’ you sent back. 

‘She means everything to me. She's a little ray of sunlight in this dark disgusting school. I plan on bringing her with me to college.’ 

‘I hope they let you, it'd be sad if you had to leave her at home.’ 

 You decided to run upstairs and start getting ready with the girls. You told them about Hux’s cat, but apparently Phas already knew. Once you all finished getting ready you decided you were going to do the picnic. You all made sandwiches and grabbed some extra snacks when you figured you would invite Hux and Matt. you shot em both a text when Hux told you he couldn't, because he had to work on his entrance essay. Matt agreed and asked if you could take his dog. You remembered Ben telling you about Chewie. You agreed and made Matt a sandwich too. 

You all packed the car, and made sure to grab some things for Gideon and Chewy. Before leaving you ran upstairs to say goodbye to your grandfather. You were about to knock on his door when you heard he was talking to someone. 

“Maybe if you called her, you would know she is in fact not okay. She's going through a lot and her father and mother ignoring her is not helping one bit!” he was talking about you but with who? You heard nothing for a moment then you heard him speak again. 

“No don't bother, i've already spoken to her, she's promised it won't happen again and i believe her.”

Another pause. 

“Alden not to be rude, but i think i know her more than you do. Maybe if you took the time to do so you would learn she's quite the woman. She's a good student, a good friend, and she's truthful. She had her reasons as to why she had done it, but i have full confidence that she won't be doing it again.” 

Alden. He was talking to your father. He knew you had skipped. He cared enough to want to know about it, but not enough to call you and ask about it?

“No Alden. I refuse to let you pick and choose when you want to be a parent, now if you will excuse me I have to work to get done before she gets back tonight.” why was he concerned with what you were doing all of a sudden? He's right, your father can't pick and choose when he wants to step in. you waited a few minutes before stepping inside so he wouldn't assume you had heard everything. 

“Alright pop pop were off.” 

“Alright my dear let me know when you get back we have been invited to the Skywalker house once again for dinner.” oh great more Ben. 

“Yes sir!” you gave him a little salute before running down stairs. You got down to the car and told the girls about what your grandfather told you. You all talked about it, and they offered to go with you, but you let them know you would be fine. If Ben went then that meant Matt had to go too. That made you feel a bit better. 

 When you arrived at the dog park you looked around desperately for the mop of blonde that was Matt. You saw him sitting down on a bench throwing a ball for chewie. You all ran over to greet him, and you watched as he interacted with El. they were so cute you wish she would get over her rule and just be with him. They were made for each other you were sure of it. You all spent the day playing with the dogs and laughing together. Gideon and Chewie seemed to really love playing together. Eventually you all got hungry and the dogs were tiring out. You put them on their leashes and went by the woods in the park to eat your lunch. Phas laid out the blanket you had brought while Matt got the dogs to sit down by the blanket. Elaine brought out the food and drinks while you poured water and dog food into bowls for the dogs. You all started to eat when you heard Matt say your name.

“So I heard my grandparents invited you and your grandfather to dinner. If it helps i'm gonna be there too.” 

“That helps a little, but that just means Ben is gonna be there too.” 

“Yeah but, it'll be fun. It'll be you and me against everyone else there.”

 You stayed at the park a few hours before it started getting a little too cold. You all cleaned your area and said your goodbyes to Matt and Chewie. You drove the girls back to the dorms before heading to your grandfathers. You got to the house and ran in with Gideon. He slowly walked in and went straight up to your room to lay down. You went upstairs and started getting ready for the worst night ever. You didn't know if it would be bad or not, but for some reason something in you said it was going to be bad. Very. Bad. you still got ready to go anyways. You figured if there was anything you could do it was look good and happy as a big fuck you to Ben. you were shaking as you got ready. Why was your anxiety so bad right now? Matt was going to be there so everything was going to be fine. If anything did happen between you two you know Matt would step in he did before. Your grandfather would surely raise hell if Ben tried anything. Oh god what if Rey was there with him? Your grandfather would certainly keep her from doing anything like what she did the night before. 

  Your grandfather called you from downstairs. It was time. You went down stairs trying to steady your breathing. When you reached the last step you saw him giving Gideon his medicine. You both got in the car and he drove in silence. Why were you feeling worse? What was happening to you? 

“It's like each time we go to this house you're nervous. You look like you might cry.”

“Yeah i don’t know whats wrong with me. I just feel anxious. It's like some force is telling me not to go.”

“I assure you it will all be fine. Your friend Matt will be in there so you won't even have to interact with Ben. Luke knows about Ben not speaking to you either, but Ben wont say why.”

“Pop pop you told him?!” 

“Ben did. He told him the day before you skipped.” he was ignoring you that day. Great. You pulled into the familiar driveway of Anakin and Padme's house. You stepped out of the car and it felt like you couldn’t breath. Your grandfather held your hand tight as you walked up to the front doors. He knocked on the door and it opened on the other side stood Matt.

“Mr.Kenobi!” he said while shaking his hand. “It's so good to finally meet you sir, im a close friend of Y/N’s.” 

He smiled at Matt’s enthusiasm, as he shook his hand. “You must be Matt, my granddaughter and her best friend speak highly of you. I'm glad to finally meet you in person.” 

  He walked away, you assumed to find Luke when Matt closed the door. 

“So he's here, but lucky for you we can go hang out in my room until Dinner.” you agreed and he took you to his room. You walked in and were surprised. It didn't seem like it would have belonged to him. He had some gaming things by the tv, but he also had some instruments, and music posters. He explained that him and all his brothers play an instrument of some sort. He keeps his at his parents and grandparents house. He had a keyboard on one corner, and a guitar on his bed. He put the guitar in the corner by the keyboard to make room for you. The two of you sat and spoke for about an hour when someone knocked on the door. 

“Dinners ready. Mom saved you and your friend a seat.” it was Ben. so he wasn't even saying your name now?

“Something in me is saying i shouldn't go down there.” you whispered. Matt grabbed your hand. 

“Listen you have me down there. Whatever you think he's gonna do. He's not gonna do it. He already knows not to fuck with my friends.” you both got up and walked down. You saw everyone at the table. Leia and Han were here. There were 2 other people. 2 faces you had hoped you wouldn't have to see for another year. The man stood up as you walked in with Matt. he saw the look on your face and held your hand. The man walked over to you and Matt. 

“Hello Y/N, nice to see you’ve made a friend.”

 You were speechless as you looked over to your grandfather. He looked as shocked as you. It felt like all the blood had drained your body. You knew why you were panicking. Your parents were here.

[xoxonawalwrites]

My stomach growled at me. I wish i had some money in my pocket. It is ironic to me for even say pocket when mine barely even meets the characteristics of one. it was just a bare string of thread holding the ripped holes together.  Nevertheless, I  still rummaged threw it like a thief rummaging for valuables. Nothing.

I smelt a mouth-watering aroma. My body reacted to this by secreting saliva .The poor thing! It really thinks i was about to eat food.All i  could do was swish  the saliva around  in my mouth hydrating the dry patches on my tongue . I guess it was extremely malnourished so any chance it could smell food of any kind it was preparing  for me to get it and eat it. The big question is should I?

I whizzed through the kitchen’s door as i heard large shoes clunking behind me at a fast pace.

‘‘You think you can do a scarper again!’’ Bellowed the obese shop owner.

God had heard my prayers. The oversized shop owner had become worn out.  As i  heard him taking large deep breaths not far away.His face looked like a freshly picked tomato with all of the redness concentrated  on the apples of his cheeks.

‘‘ i’ll catch you next time you little imp from hell !’‘ he said with a hoarse voice as he was still taking in deep breaths. I was suprised he hadnt died or had his first heart attack with all that layers of of skin taking a toll on his body.

A  smile of joy popped up on my face running from ear to ear.I jumped up and down with glee. My fiery red hair bobbed up and down like children playing bobbing apples bobbing their heads in and out of the water. I held the juicy roast beef in my hand with the succulent juice running between my bony stick fingers. I stopped and took a huge sigh of relief while intenesly sucking the mouth watering juice out of the meat like a vampire sucking the blood out of its prey.

I said to myself i get to live just one another day. While feasting on my stolen meat.

‘‘ Corsen Corsen!’‘

i did a full turn. Twisting my stick like neck looking around for the person who called me. Unfortunately, for my suprise the sound echoed from an eerie alleyway. I knew what this meant.

You see everyone has their own secrets. Secrets hidden deep down in their soul which they dont utter to a single living being.I have done acts which are horrible.Not even my so called ‘parents’ know about it.I have  dark unspeakable secrets.Forbidden secrets that i have done to merely get by. 

Yes, i know what is running through your mind. I mean i had to find money for food somehow. i wasnt proud of it but i still did it anyways. luckily, i came to my senses and knew that i had dreams i wanted to persue and didnt want to land up in jail before i was eighteen.

As soon as i saw him literal smoke steamed out of my ears,my face turned crimson red. i didnt even think. i used my puny weak fist and puched right in the nose. His nose was already crooked and stuck out like a proud peacock but i think i went too far. Okay i know i went to far. i broke his nose.

Blood gushed out of his nose like a flowing tap. The blood clotted around his nose. I know,I know your probably thinking why i did such an act. Well, i did mention that i did unspeakable acts but this case was different.

I was a mere child with childish girly thoughts. Back then my father wasnt a drunkard and my mother hadnt died. i was ten. He was fifteen. He grabbed the ribbon of my pink frock and grabbed me closer and close to his lips. I thought he was giving me a hug.  He grabbed the zip of my dress, untied it. He removed his trousers and.... well i think you are mature enough to know what happened.

I will never forget the day he forced himself upon me. I was scarred for life. Every time i meet him i have the urge to get a knife, slit his wrists,tongue and finally stab him right in the heart.

So. he really thinks after all those years i was going to run into his arms. Kiss him passionately and give him a hug. Ha! Jokes on him.

‘‘You cant try and freeze me and run away’‘ He said while wiping the dried up clotted blood with his filthy long sleeved shirt.

Though he was literally skin and bone he was in fact quite strong for someone who barely eats and drinks beer day in day out.

Before i could even say Merlins wand he grabbed my skinny wrist and forced my to look him in the eyes. A girl could easily get lost in those emerald green eyes but my eyes immediately started watering due to the alcoholic smell reeking out of his mouth and the fact that he smelt like he hadnt bathed in centuries.

‘‘ I dont know why but there is something about you that attracts me to you’‘ ‘‘ i always feel the urge to capture you and make you mine’‘.

He gave me a look.  A look that made me heart stop beating and made my body freeze while peeing in myself as i was petrified.

‘‘Let me go you pedophile’‘ i said while kicking him in the shins grabbing my wrist using my free left hand trying to grab his hand to let go of my right hand.

I felt a drip of sweat trickling down my back. He threw me to the wall, he leaned his body closer to mine, and his face was hovering in front of mine.

I used my left hand and shot sharp icicles into his chest giving me enough time to flee.

‘‘ I’ll catch you Corsen, I’ll catch you and i promise when i do i’ll never let you go you’ll be mine forever’‘ While wheezing blood and trying to take a deep breath.

I just hope i had’nt made a big mistake.

I didnt care if my underwear could be seen while i was running down the street at this point i just wish mens obsession with me could just stop.

You see i am a freak. I can do freakish things and i look like i freak.My eyes are far away from my nose. My lips are waaaayyy below my nose thus making me a target for kids to bully . I have been in and out of foster homes since i was 10. Back then my father was drunk 24/7 and my mom didnt have stage 2 breast cancer. 

It has’nt been easy since my mothers passing. My dad still  doesnt want to acknowledge the fact that she is gone and isn’t coming back. He then decided to take everything out on me. He used to whip me  till my voice when hoarse and i ended up passing out and couldnt tell if i was dreaming or dead.

Teachers at school noticed my whip marks and bruises even though i tried covering it up with oversized hoodies and sweatpants. They immediately called child protective services thus my relationship with foster families began. All my foster fathers ended up being creepos and used to watch me get changed and worst of all took advantage of the fact that i was a skinny,weak,puny kid and couldnt do anything to defend myself.

Dammit! The landlords sent another sweet little eviction letter. I quickly skimmed through it to see how much time i had until i was kicked out of this mangy apartment. Seven days! There was no way i was going to be able to get 700 dollars by the end of this week. I guess i had to just say goodbye to this mangy little apartment. Ugh! I actually was tearing up this was my first apartment after i got emancipated.

I just decided to  just throw on an oversized t-shirt and shorts and call it a night. Just when i opened the door of my room an eerie sound schoed from down the hallway. 

‘‘Hello Hello is Corsen here?’‘

Dammit! It’s the frickin landlord coming to evict me but  the letter said till next week. I was utterly confused. I hopped out of my bed,slipped on my mucky bunny slippers from salvation army and decided to take my wooden hairbrush with me just in case it was a murderer or kidnapper or somethin’. Hey! I wasnt about to get kidnapped and my kidneys sold online okay?

‘‘Is anyone here?’‘ ‘‘Come out and i won’t hurt you’‘ i said with a shaky voice. I was literally peeing in my underwear.

I heard heavy breathing and large footsteps. I suddenly remebered that there was nothing to fear as i have taken a few karate classes here and there.

AAAH! ‘’What in lords name,what are you doing here?’’

He looked like an angel sent from heaven. He smelt of pine cones and fresh earth after a springs rain.

‘‘ Ah so you must be Corsen,nice to meet you’‘ he said while having a enormous smile running ear to ear.

‘‘ Umm.... this is an invasion of private property, you know i can sue right?’‘

He chuckled so hard that his hair bobbled up and down. His silver hair was a kind of silver that is out of this world. Literally it was shiny sleek and smooth it looked out of this universe. He wore a green tunic with a brown belt and a green shoes on. Like hello the 1900s is calling and they want there clothes back.

‘‘ Well its a shocker i havent seen you since you were a baby and you still have the wild red mane of hair that you used to have, well time flies i guess’‘. he murmured under his breath with a little smirk on his face.

‘‘Ummm.. number one how do you know me and number two its kinda creepy that you saw me when i was a baby when i literally have no idea who you are’‘.

‘‘ i think you should lead me to the living room we have many things to discuss’‘ he hurriedly sat down making himslef comortable on the mouldy sofa set.

Hey! I wasnt made out of money and if my apartment had a fridge, televison and a sofa i was a happy camper.

‘‘So why are you here?’‘

‘‘Oh yes i was sent by Albus Dumbledore to tell you that you have got into Hogwarts’‘ he said with an serious look on his face.

I burst out into tears of laughter.Like does he really think i was stupid.Out of all the lies he could have told me, Hogwarts,like really.I guess he was just another social care worker trying to find ways to get me to come back.But i am not that that daft okay.

‘‘Whats so funny?’‘ while giving me  stern look.

‘‘Ummm.... you know Hogwarts doesnt exist right?’‘ ‘‘It was just a story J.K Rowling wrote for entertainment and imagination.

‘‘You know the whole magical realm has been in contact with the human realm for centuries now’‘. ‘‘The story of J.K Rowling or whatever her name was was half-truths’‘. ‘‘This Harry Potter bot your talking about was all just made up’‘.’‘But the sorting hat,Albus Dumbledore,Severus Snape and some othes are real’‘.

[dracwife]

dex’s comprehensive s/i list

this took way too long. will be updated as i develop them further! note that these only include a few of my main, more developed s/is, but i do have s/is for all my f/o’s universes!

[ evil dead ]

name: river kennedy

[ movie canon ]

age: 22

occupation: pizza delivery boy

physical: river kennedy was always on the taller side, his physicality being his foremost quality. he was the star quarterback in high school, and his muscular prowess didnt leave him after he graduated. finding no need for college, his routine consisted of working out during the day and going to work at night. his lean stature doesn't precede him - he can hold his own in the midst of chaos...and deadites.

6'0"

green eyes

dirty blonde hair

a southern drawl accents this cowboy's witty and devil-may-care temperament

while he's the more sensible of the two, it's only by a tad...ash and river are the quintessential "team one brain cell"

about: ash and river met on a wild night out during their high school years. needless to say, it wasn’t long before they ended up together, inseparable and making as many bad decisions as possible. 

sarcastic

upbeat

enthusiastic

here for a good time, not a long time

ship name: sympathy for the devil

[ show canon ]

age: 36

occupation: sheriff

physical: living in a small town has its perks - mainly that there’s not much to do during the day. the most action river sees on a daily basis is maybe a kid or two caught vandalizing the old bleachers behind the high school...and even then, it’s a stretch to say it’s much more than chasing down a teen with spraypaint. while he’s still physically fit, he’s not quite at his peak like he once was, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still hold his own against whatever the necronomicon may throw at him.

6'0"

green eyes

dirty blonde hair

a southern drawl accents this cowboy's witty and devil-may-care temperament

while he's the more sensible of the two, it's only by a tad...ash and river are the quintessential "team one brain cell"

about: while they never quite settled down, river took some time on his own to live with his family. he and ash lost contact for nearly twenty years, until the deadites returned out of nowhere. upon hearing the news, river tracked ash down, and again their shenanigans resumed, for the better or worse, no one really knows. 

sarcastic

upbeat

enthusiastic

here for a good time, not a long time

ship name: born to be wild

[ saw ]

name: everett bailey ; salem

age: 23

occupation: freelance coder / web designer

physical: salem is not physically intimidating, but that doesn’t stop him from picking fights with those bigger than him

5′6″

bleached hair, often dyed

blue eyes

lots of leather

about: salem is, to say the least, a scammer who profits off of the ignorance of those less technologically capable than himself. for this reason (and for getting in the way of adam’s game) he too was punished, thrown into a trap that left him scarred both physically and mentally.

cocky

angry. just angry

daddy issues

drugs! probably

literally just a little shit.

ship name: waiting game / the jig is up / coma white / absolute penance (au)

[ twilight ]

name: holden cullen

age: 24 (at time of death)

occupation: clinical attendant / physician

physical: holden is physically smaller than most of his peers, but don’t let that fool you - he can definitely hunt just as well as the rest of them.

5′7″ (short king mama hey)

dark brown hair / soft black

green eyes (golden after death)

freckles

about: holden met carlisle at work, where he worked as a clinical attendant. within a few months carlisle had introduced holden to the rest of the cullens, and not long after holden deduced their family secret, though carlisle refused to turn holden on the basis that holden could live happily as a human. after a particularly nasty car crash, however, carlisle was forced to turn holden lest he let him die, and thus holden was finally a true member of the family. in his spare time during his “recovery,” he was able to complete his doctorate, and now works alongside carlisle at the clinic.

upbeat

fun-loving

dedicated

kind-hearted

absolute dad

holden’s gift is similar to that of jasper’s - with a strange type of pathokinesis, he is able to dull the pain (physical and emotional) of others, instead taking it himself. 

he uses it to help carlisle destress most of the time - when he was human, carlisle would always say just how comforting it was to be with holden, that he had a sort of warmth to him, and that warmth followed him even after his death. carlisle describes the calming nature of it as though holden has “sunlight in his hands,” as a mere touch from him can bring complete serenity. 

ship name: sunlight in his hands 

[ house, m.d. ]

name: rowan kirk

age: 30

occupation: pediatrician

physical: rowan is likely the least intimidating person you’d ever meet - he’s very quiet, and very bubbly. his stature is rather lax, and his soft temperament is complimented by his just as inviting looks, making him the perfect doctor for even the rowdiest of children.

5′8″

strawberry blonde hair

green eyes

freckles

always smiling

never seen without a stuffed animal and at least 10 lollipops in his lab coat

about: rowan is a kind-hearted doctor, driven by an inexplicable need to help others. it was for this reason that he quickly caught the eye of james, and together they make quite the hopeless pair of romantics.

has good intentions

soft-spoken

hates star trek jokes

absolute hopeless romantic

Repressed Trauma tm

always cold gay

ship name: sunshine & star trek jokes

[ quantum leap ]

name: dexter marsh

age: 26

occupation: chemist/biologist

physical: while short, dex’s wit makes up for more than enough of what he lacks in height. he’s far more on the nerdy side, bookish in all senses of the word.

curly hair

freckles

brown eyes

short

wardrobe consists of sweaters exclusively

about: dex works as a chemist on the starbright project alongside sam and, after one too many late nights spent on research they realized the feelings they harbored for each other were those of more than just friends.

quiet, but brilliant

strange fascination for chemistry and biology

hired on originally as a data analyist for the starbright project

married to sam after his leap home

has two dogs, a german shepherd and a husky named melody and marley respectively

ship name: terminally good

[ gotham ]

name: dexter “cheshire” chester

age: 23

occupation: gang leader

physical: his grin as wicked as the cheshire cat himself, dexter dons stripes and a leather jacket to complete his look

catlike reflexes

nearly always high

blue eyes

bleached hair, a few purple streaks to accent it

never seen without his trusted smashin bat

about: having found his family through his gang, he runs the strays of gotham alongside his adopted sister queen, and finds his niche in illegal dealings

cares far too much for his “family”

gained the nickname cheshire from a combination of his gang’s name and the fact he always seems to disappear from the scene of the crime

peddles an experimental drug called “jabberwock” which is similar to speed as well as weapons and other illegal substances

ship name: down the rabbit hole

[ phantom of the opera ]

name: adonis

age: 20

occupation: performer ; actor / singer

physical: adonis knew from a young age that he hated his body. it simply felt wrong, and though he had a talent for the musical arts, he passed at the opportunity to perform in lieu of working as a stagehand, passing as male and taking the name adonis.

trans (ftm)

binds with a corset even though it isn’t healthy

dirty blonde hair

blue eyes

doesn’t own a single shirt that fits him properly

about: he caught the eye of erik when, on a whim, he sang aloud to himself on stage as he was readying the props for a show. erik was smitten from that day, intrigued by the young man and his strangely beautiful voice. since then, erik has helped adonis train his voice, and he now performs on stage and is very popular among the patrons of the theater. 

ship name: gods & monsters

[ ahs ]

name: clarence miller

age: 20

occupation: performer

physical: born an albino, clarence miller was inducted into elsa mars’ freakshow at a young age, and now looks up to her like a mother. 

pale, pale, pale

short

nearly blind due to albinism

does not own any clothes that fit, actually

about: clarence is quiet and keeps to himself most of the time. while he doesn’t have any standout talents, he acts as a tickettaker for the freakshow

has a little pet lizard

falls asleep in the booth a lot

cannot go out in the sun for long

dandy can and WILL kill for him

ship name: dance macabre

[ ghostbusters ]

name: oasis*

age: unknown* (deceased)

occupation: physicist / parapsychologist

physical: while he does seem human in all aspects, oasis is far from it.

extremely pale

white hair

green eyes

lanky

can and will appear behind u...nothin personnel, kid.....

just can’t stop floatin’ sometimes

about: *while oasis is not his real name, it was the name of the theory accredited to him, in which he believed there to be two planes of existence, one of the living and one of the dead that are consistently manipulated by each other, the phenomenon that results are noticeable but often disappear when investigated further, “Like a mirage, and oasis in the desert.”

ship name: oasis theorem

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain : Chapter 16

Bad Day.

Months had passed by. And the duo’s relationship had only went up from the beginning. Marley was surprised that she was not tired of Erik, there was never even a point where she wanted to be away from him. Of course they both had to live their separate lives , but being together was euphoric . Marley had never felt quite like this before , even with other man that she loved . This felt different.

Yes, she knew that it was love .

That’s what she told him, and even though he hadn’t said it back yet , she felt content . Marley couldnt hold how she felt about him in . She had to let him know she loved him one night , while there were laying on her couch . “We good , Marley” was all he said . He just held her tight until she fell sleep in his arms.

Erik showed her how much he cared for her every day. Flowers because it was Wednesday , foot massages when she was tired . Food whenever she was hungry and he even helped her find a new job . Marley was no longer faced with irritable complaints from consumers over the net . And no more slaving for the drunk men down at the bar with Becky.

Marley was now a proud employee at Steinway. Steinway was a global company . A trusted billion dollar business who created technology that controled security systems for some of the worlds most prestigious places . Mass museums, federal reserve, and most of all, protected government agencies .

Marley had a degree , but her major in Liberal arts she knew, would not get her in the door. Erik made her apply anyway .

“They might not even know they need you, always go for the job you think you won’t get” He encouraged her one night , while eating those famous tacos and watching Game of Thrones.

One resume, an exceptional cover letter written by Erik, and two interviews later...Marley was hired to assist the head of public relations. Her duty was only to serve the person who protected the brand of the company . Marley had been there for a while now, and was making a good amount of money.

It was her birthday on this day. She never made a big deal about it . Marley hadn’t had a party since her mom died . So to her , it was just another day . Most people in her life didn’t know when it was, just the few who were close to her . Becky knew and called her early in the morning with a long drawn out version of the birthday song . In the past , Tiana and her aunt didn’t even acknowledge her birthday. Trey would always buy her something expensive, but nothing memorable or noteworthy.

Erik knew that it was her birthday. Of course he was away for work, or whatever he did . Erik admitted... or hinted that his job wasn’t exactly what he told her before . She didn’t press him, but at times she questioned if what he did was legal . The gun was still in his dresser . “It’s not necessarily illegal” he’d toy with her mind whenever she asked him . She was no stranger to crime, seeing as Trey was the poster child for that . But he wasn’t as secretive as Erik . Nor was he as well paid .

Marley hadn’t talked to him all day . After numerous attempts at calling him, she figured he was busy . Until it came to the end of her work day . Her stress level was through the roof , constantly staring at her cellphone. Hoping that the next notification would be from Erik. That’s all she wanted . No party, no gifts , just Him.

Marley had received a birthday card signed by most of the employees . She knew it probably was company policy, but she was thankful . Marley had been there a little under two months , so most people didn’t know her well . To who she assumed was the head of the employee committee, walked by and wished her happy birthday . Marley had just finished typing the notes from the meetings her boss had. It was almost five , and she was off at four thirty .

The days leading up to her birthday were always filled with anxiety . She knew she would cry , she cried on her birthday every year . From loneliness, feeling like she was aging and yet so far behind in life . Most of all, she cried because it was another year without her mom. All day she had been fighting back her tears with fake thoughts of being happy . It was working, for now but she knew that eventually she would break . Becky begged Marley to come to the bar around seven that night . Before the sports crowd packed the bar . Becky wanted to give her gift before her work shift . Marley figured she’d eat fatty bar food and take a few shot alone. Or with some of her old co-workers. Ones who actually knew her and would be semi-genuine .

Since she was leaving later than usual, she was in a rush . The Steinway building was half an hour from her apartment . With traffic she would get home around six, that didn’t give her much time to get ready . Marley logged out of her work computer , gathered her belongings and rushed the halls to the elevator. She dashed through lobby to get to her car . Her phone buzzed in her hand , excitedly she glanced at it , praying that it was Erik . Marley didn’t even see the burly white guy walking towards her . She ran right into him and almost fell to the ground . He seemed to be in a rush much like her . All Marley could see was the back of his red slick hair and the flag of the Netherlands on his arm. Marley knew that because her old college roommate was from the Netherlands and had a flag on her side of the wall .

“Excuse you, fucking jackass!” Marley shouted . The rude guy was already outside of the building. Being the only black women in the lobby, everyone’s eyes were drawn to her already . Even more now since she shouted. She wanted badly to yell at them too for not addressing the man who almost knocked her down .

But , it was her birthday. She had some place to be.

She made it to her car , but she was still boiling with anger . Especially after she gave calling Erik one more shot . He didn’t pick up. “Fuck it!” She screamed , then punched her steering wheel . It honked abruptly, scaring an old woman who was walking by. A groan escaped her lips and she rested her head on the seat . She took a breath, the lump in her throat wanted for her to cry badly . Her lip trembled . Marley missed her mom right now , more than ever . She would make it better . Probably go fight the man who knocked her baby down. Marley laughed at the thought of it . Of those people thought Marley’s outburst was bad , they probably couldn’t have handled her moms .

Marley got herself home, late but it was nothing she could do about it now . She got ready to go to the bar , nothing special but she was cute enough. Her phone buzzed when she walked out of the door . It was nothing but a message from Team Snapchat , probably wishing her happy birthday . She giggled a little because that happened every year . Marley didnt bother to call Erik again, him not answering would only make her more upset.

She made it to the bar . A few cars were parked in the lot. The lights werent on. The windows were tinted but there was a small window space at the top of the building where light would shine through . Which wasn’t odd . Marley had worked shifts when the bar opened late . It was a family owned business and sometimes they were unprofessional and opened when they wanted to . Customers still came though . Marley would even get paid under the table some weeks , so they could avoid tax issues and healthcare costs .

She yanked on the door. It wouldnt budge , it was locked . She knocked on the door hard and announced that it was her.

“I’m coming!”

Becky’s voice rang through the closed door . Marley could hear the tampering of the lock . Becky opened the door wide , exposing the few co-workers who were waiting for Marley to come inside.

“Surprise!” They all shouted at the same time. She couldn’t believe it. A party, for her? She was important enough for them to go out of their way and do this. Becky walked towards her , holding a small chocolate cake with lit candles .

“Chocolate, my favorite, thanks guys!” Marley Jared chocolate cake, but she wouldnt tell them that . Everyone looked so pleased .

“Please don’t cry” Becky playfully rolled her eyes at her friend . Who seemed to be getting emotional

“It’s just-“ Marley began to speak, but got choked up . Her voice shook . She didn’t want to cry in front of everybody, so she quickly sucked it up with a deep breath. Becky couldnt help but laugh . She took her into her arms and hugged her . “I just hate my birthday, that’s all”

Not being able to cry was killing her . She looked around at everyone , overwhelmed at everything . Surrounded by people, she still felt alone . Nobody who loved her was there . Yes , these people cared but not in the way Marley needed .

“Do you want us to stop this ?” One of the other co-workers asked . He could tell by the look on her face that something was off. Marley shook her head quickly

“No, I’m thankful for everything” Marley put forth effort to place a smile on her face.

Marley took the time to hug everyone and thank them individually. They all started off with a shot of dark and they sang the birthday song to her . Which was always awkward. Then Becky did her renditioned version of the birthday song , where she twerked across the bar to brighten the mood .

Marley made a wish in her head, something she thought was so silly . When she was a teen she always wished that her mom would magically come back from the dead . Now that she was older , she knew it was impossible . But she still made that same wish . Then she wondered , if she could do two . There were no actually birthday rules because all of it is fake... right? She thought about something that would make her happy . Erik. He was real . And she wished that he would remain that way . Marley blew out the candles and they cheered .

“I’m sorry he’s not here” it was as if Becky could read her mind “And I had no way to tell him , I figured he would be with you” Marley ignored her. She gave Marley a small gift box , with a bow on top . It was from her . She opened it right away .

“No you didn’t” she said quietly. It was a pair of AirPods . She had just told Becky that she wanted a pair but didn’t want to spend the money on them. The fact that she was such an attentive friend really meant a lot to Marley . She could not stop hugging her .

“Tonight is not about him, it’s your birthday” Becky didn’t want the absence of Erik to ruin her special day.

“What if he’s dead?” Now Marley was being dramatic . Becky raised her eyebrows, she figured Erik couldn’t make it because of work stuff . Not anything this serious . “I haven’t heard from him all day”

“Doubt that” Becky casually handed Marley an envelope with a card inside . She figured it was a card from the bar staff.

“But still, this is not like him” she managed to rip it open while holding eye contact .

“He’ll call “

Marley pulled the card out if it’s envelope. Shockingly it was from Trey . She looked at Becky who was purposely avoiding eye contact . A few twenty dollar bills slipped from the inside before she caught them in her hand. They had not spoken since that last week of her living in the hotel . And when she found out about his child , she was completely done . “Trey came by before you got here, he wanted to catch you but I told him it wasn’t a good idea” Becky aligned a few shot glasses on the bar and filled them with Tequila . That always got Marley drunk , and her plan was to get her friend wasted .

Happy birthday beautiful

I miss you , call me.

He had hand written those simple words in the card. Along with some passage about how important the birthday person was. Marley skimmed through it, then slipped the twenties in her purse and put the card in the trash .

“No thank you” Marley spoke just how she would if Trey was actually standing there .

It took Becky pouring six shots to get Marley to finally stop checking her phone . And then seven shots to make her start talking about Erik. He always left the toilet seat up and in the middle of the night she would fall in. No matter how many times she told him not to, he would always forget . He always thought he was right , and could never admit that he had gotten something wrong . Marley was not the type of person who yearned for the last word . And it didn’t kill her if she didn’t get her point across. Not even knowing that it was what made them a match . He snored loudly when he slept, so if Marley didn’t fall first ... there would be no sleep . Then when he woke up , he never ate breakfast. Which freaked Marley out because she couldn’t function without breakfast each morning . Marley started to drag on about how much he worked out and perfected over his body . But at the same token, he’d scarf down a whole family sized meal of carbs . She was about to rant about his messy home but Becky stopped her . Even Becky couldn’t help but think about how Marley felt when she talked about her husband .

Becky had listened for long enough , the bar was now open to the public and she had to work . “Sounds to me like you guys have no real problems” she slapped the bar counter twice , Marleys head flew back .

“What!” She slurred, then swayed to the sound of Sicko Mode playing from the bars speakers . Drunk was exactly what she was now.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff , Erik is all you have... besides me of course”

Marley pondered on that statement for a while . She seemed to get lost into the view of her feet for a long time . The floor was spinning, she held on to the bar stool so she wouldn’t fall . She blinked a few times to try and sober up , it didn’t work well enough. Then , she got back to thinking about what Becky said . How Erik was all she had . Marley looked up to ask her what she meant by it, but Becky had walked away . Marley figured she had been out of it for a while . She was uncomfortably drunk , and really needed to go home .

Everyone was back working , and she didn’t have the strength or good balance to say thank you to everyone again . Maybe she’d send out a mass text in the morning, or maybe she wouldn’t. Marley just needed to leave. She snuck out of the bar . Becky would have stopped her from leaving if she saw her . Refusing to allow her to drive home drunk. Marley just knew that if she drove really slow, she’d make it .

So she sat in her car , took a deep breath and started the ignition . Thanking god that she lived close enough . Even though she knew god was not happy about what she was doing . Marley pulled out of her parking space slowly and made her way on to the street . She was doing great at pretending to be sober . Until she couldn’t , swerving in other lanes and unnecessarily pumping her breaks with caution. Tonight would have been a great night for the police to pull her over and actually do their job. They were probably harassing innocent people Marley thought, Insted of handling true crimes ... like the one Marley was committing in this moment .

She made it home safely , by nothing but pure luck . Her car was crooked , and slightly crossing the line of her neighbors spot . Marley would deal with it in the morning. Her apartment light was on. Since she was intoxicated , she didn’t see this as cautionary. Struggling with getting the key in the door, she managed to let herself in . It wasn’t until after she closed the door and began walking towards her room , that she seen Erik sitting on her couch . He stood up , holding a bouquet of flowers . Marley stepped back with her mouth wide open.

“Happy birthday baby” he smiled and walked towards her . She wanted to speak . She wanted to yell at him for not being there all day . She wanted to ask him how he had gotten inside of her apartment. But as soon as she felt his strong arms wrap around her ... she finally let out the cry that she had been holding in all day . Marley’s tears seeped into the arm of his shirt . He let her cry . “You had a bad day?” He asked her calmly. He felt Marleys head nod . The hand that was flower free rubbed against her back . He was trying his best to calm her down.

“I hate my birthday” her voice cracked , tugging on Erik’s soft side .

“I got you , and I’m gonna take care of you”

He pushed away from her , allowing the space between them . He kissed her forehead twice , then took a chance on her lips . “Wanna talk about it?”

Marley drew away from him and walked to the kitchen for a paper towel . She released with a deep sigh and giggled shortly.

“Nah” she wiped hers tear stained face then tossed it in the trash . Erik told her that he lost his phone this morning , and couldn’t find time to get another one today .

“How did you get in here?” They settled down on the couch. Close enough for Marley’s left thigh to wrap around his lap . She faced him .

“I’m from the projects . Breaking in to shit is like a right of passage” he admitted, nonchalantly he massaged her thigh.

“You broke in my house” she stated what was obvious, there was no reason for her to be upset . She knew Erik to be a man that did whatever he wanted to do.

“Ain’t nothing I can’t get into” he observed her for a second , she rested her head against the couch . Her eyes fidgety and unable to focus on one thing . “You drove home drunk like this ?” He asked , seemingly worried about her .

“I see you do it all the time” her fingers toyed with his dreads . He was so cute to her when he got serious. He was cute to her when he did anything honestly.

“Yeah but you ain’t me”

“The hypocrisy!” She shouted in dramatic form.

“So you using big the words tonight”

“Hypocrisy is not a big word, you’re just from the projects” Marley braced herself for his rebuttal, she knew he would have a comeback to match her witt.

“Don’t forget who helped you write that letter to get you that job. A nigga from the projects”

“You right , daddy” she gave in, even though they were only joking .

“I know I’m fucking right”

Marley rubbed her thumbs against his cheeks and moved in closer to him . “Just a minute ago , I was crying my eyes out” she mumbled , so close to his lips that he could feel her words . She kissed him , sweet and soft . “Make sure I never cry on my birthday again”

“That’s a lot of pressure” Erik told her .

“Can you handle it?” She toyed with him but Marley was being completely serious.

“I can handle you”

Erik yawned , and like clockwork Marley yawned too . It was contagious. Somehow his position changed to him laying completely on his back . Marley beside him still, one leg wrapped around his waist . They liked it that way . No matter where they were , they always came back here . Erik thought Marley had eventually fallen asleep, on account of her hard breathing . Until she spoke again.

“All you got me was flowers?” She thought back to when she first cake in. Marley eyed the beautiful bouquet on her coffee table . He busted out laughing , so hard that Marley had to laugh too .

“I was waiting for that question”

“So answer it then”

“I got you shoes”

“Where they at?” She pouted like a bratty child . Erik kissed his teeth .

“Where the birthday sex at?” He asked , as if she owed him and it was his birthday.

“I’m too tired , how about birthday morning sex?”

“I’ll give you your shoes after that” he rubbed her butt gently , in hopes to turn her on . It just made her more comfortable with the idea of sleep .

“I’m not a prostitute” she yawned again .

“You’re my prostitute”

“You know I am” she boasted proudly .

“The best one I got” he yawned too .

“The thickest one too”

“You such a bad bitch”

“Good night Erik , I love you”

[child-of-thedarknight]

His Dirty Little Secret

I woke up and rolled out of my bed, slowly shuffling to the bathroom in my dorm as I went for my shower. I turned on the water as I got in, letting the hot water relax my muscles as I attempted to wake myself up for the day. I quickly washed, shaved and dried myself off, putting moisturiser on my legs to make them smoother. I then blow dried my hair before getting dressed. I put on my tights, skirt, shirt, tie and my school shoes that had a little bit of a heel on them. I made sure my skirt was higher than the school rules allowed, then I curled my half black, half red hair. I then grabbed my school books and bag, and went downstairs for breakfast.

I walked in and saw my brothers all sitting at our house table. I went and sat with them grabbing a green apple and pouring myself some pumpkin juice for breakfast. "Why do you always only eat green apples Emma?" My brother, Jackson asked. "Because red apples taste funny. That's why." I replied, pulling out my potions homework that was due today. Snape would kill me if I didn't have it done. As I was about three quarters of the way through, my bestfriend Ashleigh walked over and said she needed to talk to me. I got up, grabbed my book bag, and followed her out. We went back to her common rooms and sat down on her bed. "Help. Dilemma. Make up crisis. Sebastian wants to take me to Hogsmeade as we have a day off and I am useless when it comes to makeup. Please help." She pleaded. I sighed and went through her make up, thinking of what would work, trying to match it up with her outfit. I eventually decided on a smoky cut crease for the eyeshadow, winged eyeliner, a light foundation and blush, and a dark pink lipstick. I did her eyebrows, helped her change out her nose stud for a nose ring, and then she was ready to go. I also quickly put on a deep purple lipstick and did a smoky eye for me. "Thank you so much Emma. What would I do without you?" She asked. "Probably die." I replied as we laughed. I heard the bell toll, signaling my first class of the day, Herbology. I quickly hugged Ashleigh, wished her well on her date, and rushed to the greenhouses.

"Greenhouse Three today guys." We heard Professor Sprout yell out from behind us. We had Herbology with the Ravenclaws, so I paired up with my bestfriend from Ravenclaw, Amy. "Girl you are gonna get in so much trouble with Snape for your skirt today." She informed me as we sat down. "Incase you haven't noticed babes, I really don't care." I replied as we completed our task. We then parted ways as I headed off to Transfiguration and she went to Ancient Runes. I successfully turned my turtle into a teapot, and got ten points awarded to my house. As soon as the bell rang for lunch, we were up and out of there so quickly. I rushed to the Great Hall, wanting to get a seat with my brothers. As I sat down next to Freddie, I noticed a certain blond Slytherin staring at me from across the hall. "He is staring at you again little sis. Can I deal with him?" asked Freddie. "Nahh. I can handle him." I said as we ate our lunch and talked about Quidditch and the team trials that were coming up. I finally agreed to try out for the team beater and then headed off early to my last class of the day, Potions.

As I was waiting outside for Professor Snape, Malfoy and his gang came and stood next to me. He clicked his fingers and they all went and did something else. "Sit next to me in Potions today. We need to talk about certain things." He demanded and walked off before I could reply. I sighed and went in as Snape walked in. I took my seat at the back of the classroom and Draco came and sat next to me. We received odd looks from others, but between his cold stare and my resting bitch face, they all looked away. "Today, we will be doing theory work with who you are sitting with. By the end of the lesson, you will be able to tell me the uses of Wolfsbane, Draught of Living Death, and Veritaserum. Understood?" Snape drawled in his monotone voice. We all nodded and got to work. "Want to explain to me what the hell you are doing wearing your skirt that short?" Draco hissed at me as I started writing down the uses of Wolfsbane. "I wear it like this everyday, Malfoy. You know this." I said as I rolled my eyes. Draco let out a sigh of anger as he started writing down what we needed as well. "How about why you were with Zabini last night, past curfew? I know you weren't studying." he queried. "How do you know I was with Zabini? Also, what I do with my life is none of your concern. If I wanted to have fun with Zabini, I could. You don't control my life Draco!" I whisper yelled as I got up, handed my finished essay and my homework in, and left to go to my dorm. I was so frustrated with Draco at the moment. Honestly, who does he think he is? Thinking he can control my life and what I do. I got out of my school uniform and changed into my black ripped skinny jeans, my Machine Gun Kelly shirt, Rap Devil hoodie and my combat boots. I put my hair into two braids, and put on my EST 19XX bandana. I grabbed my firebolt and my wand, going out into the corridors before mounting my broom and flying out of the window.

I flew around the castle, over the trees of the forbidden forest, and then to the Quidditch grounds, where I lazily floated in the air, casting random spells and practicing for our charms quiz later this week. After about half an hour of flying around, another person joined me. I looked over to see the ever so annoying Draco Malfoy flying next to me. I rolled my eyes, not ready for another argument with him, and slowly started flying away. It started to drizzle as I was flying around so I decided to just take it slow. Malfoy was still following me, which was making me even more pissed off. "And what in the world could you possibly want now Malfoy? Haven't you got Pansy to go and be with?" I asked him, letting my anger seep through my words. He looked shocked, but quickly recovered as he replied with a witty comment. "I really don't want to be around that clingy bitch. I would rather annoy you to the point of breaking." I sighed and flew down to the ground, heading off towards the castle. "We aren't done with our talk yet little miss." He yelled as he sent our brooms to their respective places, picked me up, and apparated to his dorm. "What the bloody hell are you doing you numpty?" I questioned as he cast the Muffliato charm on his dorm. I rolled my eyes at the fact that of course the Prince of Slytherin got his own dorm, and went and sat on the couch. He walked over to his bed, took off his shoes, socks and his jumper, loosening his tie before lying down and motioning for me to join him. "I'd rather not thanks." I said icily as I turned back to the fire and continued to stare into it. I heard him sigh loudly in annoyance before he went quiet. After an hour of nothing being said between us, I sighed and finally joined him on the bed after taking my shoes and socks off.

"Why aren't you talking to me anymore Emma? We used to talk everyday before the holidays, and now you are just ignoring me and swanning around with other guys that aren't me. What's going on?" He asked me as he put my hood of my jumper down. I looked at him and saw that he truly was hurt, but I honestly did not feel sorry for him at this moment. "You know what you did Malfoy. You know why I'm not talking to you. You don't control my life, and if I choose to go around enjoying myself with other men, then I can. And you can't stop me Malfoy. It was YOU who made the decision to join in with your stupid friends when they gang bashed Jason. It was YOU who had no intention of stopping them. It was YOU who I thought would have the common sense to realise what you were doing. But you didn't. You fucked up. You just can't accept that. So no, I will not stop messing around with Zabini or anyone else I want to." I finished my rant and wiped away the tears that I wasn't even aware were falling down my face. I went to go get off the bed and leave when I felt Draco's hand wrap around my wrist and pull me into a hug. "I am so sorry for what I did Emma. I know I can't fix it. I know that what I did was irreversible and I can't take it back. If I could have done anything to help, you know I would have. I am so sorry for what I did and I want you to forgive me so bad. I know that you hate me right now and I shouldn't be trying to control who or what you do. I just want us back. I want you to be mine the way we were before I fucked up. Please Emma. Please give me one more chance." he started trembling as he spoke and I knew the tears were going to start soon. I pulled back from the hug and wiped his tears. I noticed he had rolled up his sleeves, and when I looked down I recoiled from his touch as if it had suddenly become acid and was melting my skin. He noticed and then realised why I had.

"HOW COULD YOU DRACO?! YOU PROMISED ME YOU NEVER WOULD. YOU SAID YOU WOULD RATHER DIE THAN GET THAT DONE!" I yelled as I got up an went to leave. "NO! DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME EMMA! I HAD NO FUCKING CHOICE! HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME IF I DIDNT. I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU JUST WOULDNT FUCKING TALK TO ME. IT'S BAD ENOUGH BOTH OF OUR FATHERS ARE WITH HIM. IT'S EVEN WORSE THAT NOW WE BOTH HAVE OUR MARKS!" He yelled as he grabbed my arm and pushed up the sleeve of my hoodie. I ripped my arm away and glared at him. "DON'T YOU DARE BRING MY FATHER INTO THIS! I SWORE WHEN I TOOK THE MARK THAT NO ONE WOULD KNOW. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME AND MY BROTHERS TO HIDE IT FROM PEOPLE? YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN THE SCHOOL THAT KNOWS DRACO! SO DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO TURN THIS ON ME!" I retorted. His face was red with rage as he tried to think of a reply. I was so prepared for him to yell at me, so when he kissed me, I was shocked. This wasn't the slow, gentle kind of kiss either. This was the rage filled, passionate, demanding type of kiss that sent shivers down my spine. He picked me up and threw me on the bed, climbing back on top of me as I threaded my hands through his hair. He bit my bottom lip and I moaned into the kiss. He took this opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth as his hands slowly trailed down my body, sending electric shocks through my body wherever he touched me. He pulled my hoodie off and discarded it somewhere in the room, along with my shirt. I loosened his tie enough that I could pull it off, before ripping off his shirt, buttons flying everywhere. He smirked at me before dipping his head down between my breasts, leaving kisses all over my chest as he unclasped my bra and threw it somewhere in his room.

He took one of my nipples in his mouth and started sucking on it whilst playing with the other. I moaned when he bit my nipple as it sent a pleasurable pain through my body. His hands trailed down as he came back up to kiss me, undoing my belt in the process. He took of my jeans and my panties before I flipped us over and took control. I took off his belt, jeans and boxers, and threw them somewhere in his room, not really caring right now. I looked up into his lust filled eyes as I slowly made my way down to his cock, leaving love bites all over his hips as I went. I licked and sucked on the tip, keeping eye contact the whole time. Draco moaned out in pleasure, and I was glad he had cast that spell. I slowly started taking him in, inch by inch, until I had all of him in my mouth. I bobbed my head up and down as Draco laid back, moaning in pleasure beneath me. I pulled off and slowly licked him from base to tip, tasting his precum before going back down. I went faster and faster as I started pumping him as well, trying to get him to his climax. "Ahh. Shit. Emma! I'm g- gonna --" He emptied his load into my mouth before he could finish his sentence. I swallowed it all and licked him clean before showing him. "Holy fuck." He whispered as I moved on top of him. I smirked and then giggled as he rolled us over so he was on top.

He slowly started kissing down my neck, sucking on a few spots to mark his territory. I moaned as he found my sweet spot and I felt him smirk against my skin. He continued sucking on that spot, leaving a dark purple hickey on my pale skin. He then continued his journey down to my core. He kissed my inner thighs, and made his way up to his destination. He licked a long strip up my heat as I let out a long, loud moan. He put my leg over his shoulder and then put his tongue inside my heat. I was in heaven. He slowly started working his fingers in as well as his tongue and it felt so good. I was moaning and biting my lip, trying not to scream out from the pleasure that I was receiving from him. I threaded my hands through his hair and was tugging so hard, I was surprised I didn't rip his hair from his scalp. Draco started to rub his thumb against my clit and within a few seconds, I reached my climax, moaning out Draco's name as I came down from my high. I pulled him up and kissed him long and hard. I then put his fingers in my mouth and licked them clean. Draco groaned at the sight, and his eyes darkened even more. "Fuck me Draco. Now." I demanded as I laid down on his bed, stretching out on his silk sheets. That was all Draco needed to lose all control. He slammed into me, hitting my spot right on the first time. I screamed out as he thrusted hard and fast, continuing to hit my spot dead on. Our kisses were filled with passion as our tongues danced and our bodies collided. I was reaching my climax. I could tell that Draco was as well. I tightened my walls around him and he started get sloppy with his thrusts. I screamed out his name as I reached my climax and he did the same as he reached his. We rode out our highs before he pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to me. I tried to catch my breath as he pulled me into his arms, putting the sheet over us. 

"Well, if that's a way to get rid of our anger, I suggest we do it more often." Draco spoke, panting as he also tried to catch his breath. I looked up at him and grinned, nodding my head in agreeance with him. He kissed the top of my head, wrapped his arms around me, and held me as we fell asleep. We would deal with the hell that was to come for the both of us in the morning. But for now. Sleep.

This is so bad. I’m sorry

[jawnjendes]

the truth hurts but secrets kill | shawn mendes

chapter 8/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: lol the taglist didnt work on my last chapter so if you havent read but i’ll show you my teeth pls do eet. anyways this chapter is an angsty buildup full of angst. my specialty.

***let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist coming soon

"Where do you live?" Annalise asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Do you even think she's capable of answering?" Patrick said, his arm supporting Alessia's waist as he helped her stumble down the university road.

The Lyft to campus went without any major issue. Alessia did not puke in the car, she merely leaned against the door in the backseat. Annalise had gotten annoyingly chatty with the driver, talking about childhood trauma and the inevitability of death. She claimed it was practice for when she's a real therapist, though the driver was trying to focus on the road. Patrick left the driver a generous tip through the app.

The three of them were left just close enough to the dorms, but there was still a walk to be had, and it felt like it was taking centuries with how much Alessia slowed them down. Annalise kept looking around at the dark surroundings as they paced with her pocket knife in hand. Alessia mumbled something incoherent, her head lolling from side to side.

"I've never heard of that building, where is it?" Annalise asked her.

"Dude, you're gonna have to take her back to your place," Patrick told her. "I don't even think she knows her own name."

With a reluctant sigh, Annalise closed her pocket knife and wrapped her arm around the smaller girl's waist. They were approaching the corner where she and Patrick would typically part ways. Alessia noticed the shift and leaned all her weight into Annalise, mumbling under her rancid breath. It wasn't her first time babysitting a drunk toddler, but that doesn't mean she likes doing it.

Patrick was kind enough to walk the two girls up to Annalise's dorm. Alessia was swaying ominously in the elevator, like she wanted to be cradled like a baby. She was definitely ready for bed.

"Ya casi, mi vida," Annalise said as they stumbled down the third floor corridor.

"Why do you call her that?" Patrick asked. "’Me veeda.’ Isn't that what you would call your boyfriend?"

"It's the same thing as a waitress would call you sweetie or something," she replied. "Or the way you'd talk to a toddler. A drunk one."

She managed to pull her key from her back pocket and give it to Patrick. He unlocked the appropriate door, and the three of them were met with more people and more loud music.

Apparently, Stella hadn't planned on staying alone this Saturday night. She was on the armchair, with Camila squished in right next to her. They weren't alone, either. Shawn and Brian were on the couch, each holding a beer. All four of them stared at the two goths holding the short normie up on two feet.

"Oh my god, you're right on time!" Stella exclaimed. "Shawn's working on an EP! He's giving a us a preview! And he made another duet with Camila!"

"Este guey se puso peda," Annalise said with mild snark, gesturing to the girl on her arm. "I'm gonna put her down."

"You're gonna kill her?" Patrick asked, his blue eyes wide. "Damn, I didn't know you hated her that much!"

"Shut up, I brought her here, didn't I?"

She did not look at the guests on the couch as she carefully led Alessia to her bedroom. She ignored Patrick starting up a conversation with everyone. She had things to do, and it was hard enough with her fluffy mind racing.

"There we go, my dear," she said as she sat the intoxicated girl on the bed. "Acuestate, mija. Tomorrow's gonna suck, but you can rest now."

She patted Alessia's head before moving to take off her sneakers. Then, Annalise took her phone from her jacket pocket and plugged it into the charger on then nightstand. Before she could sigh in relief that they all made it back alive, she heard a voice at the door.

"Hey, you."

When Annalise turned to face him, it was like a million fireworks went off at once. Her entire body froze in the best way, and the air in her lungs was knocked out of her. He's even prettier in person.

"Someone have too much fun?" he asked, nodding towards the now sleeping Alessia.

Annalise could not tear her eyes away from his face long enough to think of an answer. All she wanted to do was stare at him for the rest of eternity.

Then, Patrick came up from behind Shawn, an amused grin on his face. "Bro, she's high as a kite right now."

Shawn looked confused for a moment and then turned to him. "Ann doesn't smoke."

"She used to all the fucking time last year." Patrick was still grinning. "She wanted to have fun tonight, so I gave her a hit of my pen."

"So you drugged her up, eh?"

"Bro-"

"I'm not your bro. Don't you care about her health at all? Don't you remember she was in the hospital a couple of months ago?"

The grin faded. "I care about her and her freedom. Not that I have to explain that to you." Patrick excused himself.

Annalise heard every word, but her wide eyes were still on Shawn. She was stepping towards him before she even realized, and then her arms were going around his middle. He was still warm and soft and he smelled good. It was like personified crack. Annalise smiled as her head rested on his chest. "I love you, my baby."

Shawn hesitated, but he hugged her back. "Love you too." Then he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

"The couch." Annalise's fingers were gripping the back of his t-shirt.

"You sure? Wouldn't you rather come stay with me? I'm leaving soon anyway."

Annalise giggled so much her voice squeaked. But she frowned almost instantly. "Don't be like Chad."

"Who's Chad?"

"No one important. I think sober Annalise is gonna be mad at you."

"What? Why?"

She pointed to the sleeping girl on the bed. "That one told high Annalise some things. Sober Annalise might not even remember, but if she does, she'll probably talk to you on check in day. Like, actual talking this time."

"Why can't we talk now?" Shawn asked. "I think high-you will be more understanding than sober-you."

"High Annalise is stupidly in love with you. We'll get nowhere, my dear."

He chewed the inside of his cheek as he gazed down at her. "Yeah, you always call me cute names when you're on drugs. Like that time in the hospital. And all those times you got high with me. Oh wait…" he trailed off. "Every time I asked you to smoke with me you said you didn't trust me enough. But tonight you trusted somebody else, eh?"

She giggled. "I knew you'd be mad at me too. We have much to talk about, baby boy."

~

In theory, the reason for Alessia's disappearance the following morning would be that she remembered the tea she spilled upon waking up and now she wanted to avoid the wrath of the goth girlfriend. In reality, she wouldn't be entirely wrong.

Even after sleeping for twelve hours, Annalise couldn't get those bits of forbidden information out of her head. She had dreams about catching Shawn and Alessia having really loud sex, but she woke up to hear her roommate doing exactly that. Then, she had a recurring dream of Shawn admitting to cheating on her, except this time he had twelve versions of Henry the orange tabby surrounding him. The last dream she remembered having was one where she ended up back in the hospital, and that she was given no anesthesia for her surgery. She had her stomach removed, and she watched every drop of blood and guts come out of the gaping hole in her body.

She woke with a start after every one of these vivid dreams. Maybe it was the after effects of being stoned, but she felt uneasy for that whole day. She typically binged to her heart's content, but the hospital dream was still on her mind. She allowed herself to have a Lunchables, but not much else.

Then, Monday rolled around and Annalise found it difficult to act like a person. She got out of bed, had an unsatisfying breakfast. She did it, and that's the only thing that matters right? Screw all the other feelings. The paranoia she felt after the Abnormal Psych lecture about eating disorders doesn't matter. The impending embarrassing discomfort  from sitting alone at a table in Bio Lab doesn't matter either. Who cares about the sad ache in her chest after seeing Shawn and Alessia leave their class together? Who cares if they're still in high spirits even though they knew that Annalise knew? Who cares?

Annalise doesn't, that's for damn sure. She was perfectly fine. She pushed herself out of bed today even though she wanted nothing more than to induce a coma on herself. Who cares if she still felt shitty after?

Although, she was putting off the impending chat with Shawn until check in on Saturday. He had to know it was coming, why else would he just stop texting her?

Unless he's already with Alessia, and therefore playing me like a violin. Maybe Shawn was just ignoring me to make me go crazy.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Annalise whispered as she put on her headphones. She was glad she caught herself slipping, she didn't want the wide-eyed crazies on display as she walked out of the Social Studies building.

Her steps were slower and more careful as she picked a song to play from her phone. After settling for Halsey, she pulled out her black, round sunglasses and put them on. Gotta hide them nightmare eyes.

Maybe… perhaps… I need to check in earlier than normal?

"Don't be stupid," she told herself.

It wouldn't hurt though, would it? Maybe he would be happy to see me since I would be breaking my own rule. Unless, of course, he's hanging around Alessia again. Perhaps he doesn't care anymore.

The only solution Annalise had was to dump herself on the couch in the dorm and play Tetris 99 until the thoughts and feelings sorted themselves out.

When Stella came home, she knew the drill. She sat on the couch and ranted about her day. She rambled on about her fascist history professor and the lack of a GSA club on campus. Then, she mentioned a Halloween party coming up at one of the frat houses, and that she needed a hot costume.

It was the month where Annalise and all her spooky darkness was socially acceptable, and she couldn't even be excited about it. A different type of darkness was taking over, and it was stupid that it was over a boy. Why did she have to be so dramatic? Why was she so goddamn crazy?

"I'll pick your costume," she said over Stella's rambling.

She paused, her brilliant hazel eyes wide. To say she was surprised that Annalise cracked so fast would be an understatement. But she smiled. "Would you? Ooo, can I pick yours?"

"Ah, I don't think I'm gonna do anything for Halloween this year."

"What? But it's your favorite holiday! You need to come to this party with me! Buddy system, remember?"

"Is that the only reason-"

"Of course not, you dummy! We haven't spent enough time together since the semester started! Let's go find some costumes, yeah? I'll even let you dress me up as scary as you want!"

Stella's a good friend. Annalise should really try harder to spend time with her. Why didn't she try to be a good friend in return?

They went to the local costume store that Friday. It gave Annalise a wonderful excuse to not go to the gaming club meeting. She really did not want to reflect on the Bart adventure, or see just how bad she fucked up Chad's nose.

After returning to campus with a dark but still cute witch costume, Stella was summoned to Camila's dorm. She thanked Annalise for the lovely costume choice and practically abandoned her. Annalise couldn't find it in her to really care. It was only a few more hours until Saturday.

She had barely settled herself on the couch when her phone buzzed. For the first time this week, Shawn had texted her. Annalise held her phone up, staring blankly at the screen. Her heart should be pounding right now, shouldn't it?

"Hey, I know check in is tomorrow but I can't make it at our usual time. I have a gig tomorrow night. You should come and we can talk after."

The next text was the address to the lounge he would be performing at.

Any other time, Annalise would have been happy to know Shawn was performing again. But he cancelled on her, knowing that he was in trouble. Is that what it took for him to start booking shows again? Was this just an elaborate way to avoid Annalise? Perhaps this was just some form of reverse psychology so she wouldn't go to the gig.

You can't psych out a psychology major. Of course Annalise was going to this gig.

However, she had a mostly sleepless night, really unable to shake the fact that Shawn was probably avoiding her. When she finally did sleep, she slept too much. Annalise woke up in the afternoon and was late for work. She had planned to ask if she could leave early, but she didn't dare try anything now. The gig was at eight, when her shift ended. She ended up going to the lounge in her work uniform, a button up with the dealership name on, and baggy slacks. Not exactly the sexy outfit she had planned during the late hours of insomnia.

The show had already started by the time she got there. As she was showing her ID to the bouncer, she heard Shawn's voice over the mic, and she felt something for the first time in days. Her stomach felt tight as she slowly stepped into the lounge.

The turnout was decent. Every single table and bar stool was occupied, and all eyes were on the band performing on the stage. Annalise looked around for any empty space; She wasn't dressed her best but she did want to be anywhere but against the wall opposite the stage. Her eyes spotted the group of people standing directly in front of the stage.

It was the normal group of girls who swooned every time Shawn blinked, but there were also three other girls that Annalise knew all too well. They were jumping and singing along to Lost in Japan, not a single care in the world. Annalise wondered why Stella didn't tell her that she was going to this event, but the way she looked at Camila as they sang to each other said enough. Maybe they chose Alessia to be their new third wheel too. So Alessia was too embarrassed to face Annalise, but not Shawn?

Annalise always stood in the back of every one of Shawn's shows, knowing she would stick out like a sore thumb in the midst of the usual fangirls. Not that that's a bad thing, it just wasn't her usual place to be. She figured that showing up at all would be enough.

Perhaps Shawn already had enough. Three of his friends were already cheering him on, and surely he had more of them scattered in the audience. Not to mention, the people here that didn't know him were going to adore him by the end of the night. Besides, Shawn most likely invited her as a ploy to get her to turn it down. She wasn't needed here. Annalise chewed the inside of her lip as she back up towards the exit. She stepped outside, away from the people trying to get in, and she pulled her phone out. She composed a new text:

"Hey, I'm drowning in work so I won't make it to your show. I'll meet you at your place later so we can talk🖤"

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @shawmndes @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea 

[captiancap]

Man eater (pt. 2)

You decided to meet in the town square. Plently of people and in the middle of the day. Although Mastiff had promised you there would be no funny buisness you still wanted to be safe.

You sit on the ledge of the fountain, arms crossed, foot tapping and try to pretend your heart doesn't skip a beat when you see him in the distance. He's in all black, as usual. He looks no different from when you were dating.

He sits next to you and stays quiet. You remain silent aswell, he's the one who wanted to talk. After a few minutes Mastiff sighs. He looks at you and up close you can see he looks tired.

"I'm not going to apologise." He says.

Oh. This. Motherfucker.

You go off. You hadn't meant to. The plan was to sit and hear him out and depending on how you felt at the end, report him to the police or not. But looks like that wasn't happening.

He listens to you rant. Every angry, anxiety filled word was taken in by him. You talk about how you feel like you're going crazy, how you aren't sure you'll ever trust him again, how cold it is at night without his arms around you, how disgusted you feel knowing that he's kissed you with the same mouth that he eats people-

He clasps a hand over your mouth and pulls you back down so you're sitting. Apparently you had been pacing and shouting that whole time, drawing a crowd. He turns his head in the direction of the people, being thoroughly terrifying with no need for words, and they go back to thier buisness.

His hand is making it a bit hard to breath so you tap his arm and he lets go. "That," he sighs, "I will apologise for. I didn't mean to grab you. I panicked. I'm sorry." He sounds so genuine when he says this.

You glare at him. You say nothing, mostly because if you tried you'd probably start crying. He sighs again and runs his hand over his face. He acts like this is hard on him.

"I am not going to apologise for being honest with you, and I'm not going to apologise for my biology. Yes I could've told you sooner. I also could have kept it from you my whole life but I saw no point in it." He says, sounding rather sure of himself as always.

You ask him why there would be no point. He's hidden so well from so many people for so long he sould be an expert. Hell, you were convinced he was a normal guy for well over half a year.

He smiles a little bit, "I didn't want to be a 'normal guy' to you. I wanted to be something more serious. And lets be honest, if I was a normal guy you wouldn't have even given me a second glance." He chuckles and it seems just like old times.

You can't help the blush that creeps onto your face. It's true that his strange nature was what drew you to him. Admittedly, looking back on things now, there were some odd things that you should have questioned.

He never ate infront of you, he would sit with you at meals but only eat the smallest amount, but he was always so big. You never saw his eyes or back, you figured he was just self conscious and didnt want to make him uncomfortable. The sheer amount of strength he had would be enough to tip someone off but all it did was make you hot under the collar.

You were so stupid. Maybe love made you blind? No. Never again. You see through his tricks now. He's a monster.

You look at his face and the sentence you were about to say dies on your tongue. You feel him peering through his bangs at you. He's tired, you're tired. God you need a nap.

You jump slightly when you feel the cool touch of his hand on yours. You glance down to where he's lacing your fingers together. You should pull away but it's been a long time since someones held your hand. It feels good.

He sighs, "I won't apologise for who I am. Or what I need. But I can promise you, if you choose to have me, there will be no more secrets. You'll never have to he scared or confused ever again." He brings his other hand to your face and caresses your cheek softly.

"Please," He says "I love you."

Thats when you break. You rip your hand away from him and stand up so fast you get whiplash. You start briskly walking away from the foutain, away from the square, god, just, away from him.

You can hear him calling for you as you leave but he doesn't chase you. A small part of you wishes he would. Have him run after you and tackle you to the ground, out right refusing to let you go. But he would never do that.

You cry the whole ride back to your friend's apartment. When you walk through the door she sees you and rushes over. She comforts you as best she can and listens to the whole story but... It's not as good as him.

You can see it in her face that she doesn't understand but she's trying her best. You knew she was your friend for a reason. As you finish telling her the whole ordeal she pats your back and nods. Theres silence for a bit but it's broken when she takes a deep breath and says the dumbest thing you've ever heard.

"I think you should get back together with him." She says rather fast. You stare at her. She takes this as an okay to continue.

"It's just... You were so happy with him. And yeah this is a rough spot but he sounded like he really wanted you back. You always said he was reasonable. I'm sure if you gave him another chance he'd be willing to like... Go vegetarian or something?" She said with a shrug.

You stare at her. Then the wall. Then the floor. You feel like you want to throw up and cry. This is crazy. You can't go back to him. He could eat you.

But... Maybe he could change... Or at least try.

You head to the guest room where you've been sleeping for the past few weeks and flop on the bed. You want to just sink into oblivion. This is all crazy. All of it. The fact that you are considering what your friend said is also crazy.

You eventually fall asleep.

When you dream its similar to one you've had long ago. You are back in that cursed warehouse, poking around without fear or care that these belongings aren't yours. You hear the scuttling again.

You shine your flashlight at the wall, seeing nothing, then at the floor. When you look down there are tiny spider crawling about. They aren't swarming or trying to hurt you, just minding thier own buisness.

You step over then and head to the container you know is in here. It seems to appear out of nowhere. Plops down right infront of you. The lid is gone.

You shine your light inside. There's nothing. The tiny spiders start crawling into the container and a large wave of them brings the previously hidden lid. They set it down in front of you and you take it.

They all look so cozy in the dark cramped space. You can feel the thousands of tiny eyes staring at you intently. You look at the lid in your hands. You should close this. Cap it off and send them back in the dark where no one has to look at them any more.

You throw the lid across the room. It smacks against the wall and the whole room shakes. The spiders stir in thier plastic prison. Without thinking you plunge your hand into the containter.

You get bitten, yes. Tiny fangs dig into your skin but you feel no regret. You search around in the bottomless abyss, what exactly you're looking for is unclear.

You feel something cold brush against your hand. You pause for a moment. It seems to be grasping for your arm. You take a deep breath and grab hold of the object.

He holds your hand, fingers laced together, like always. You're both coverd in spiders but it's okay. He's holding you and that's what matters. The spiders don't bite you and it feels good to have his weight against you again.

You can hear thousands of hissing whispers. He says something to you but you cant hear him over the hissing. You ask him to repeat it. The whispers seem to double over each other making your head hurt.

He holds your hands together and rests his forhead on yours. Theres a soft rumbling coming from his chest. You look at him and smile softly.

"I want to show you something." You manage to hear over all the other noise. You're about to ask him what it is when you suddenly get woken up.

You flail slightly in the bed and look around for any danger. You don't see any immediate threats, however, there is a vibration in your pocket. You rub your eyes and roll over.

After the fourth vibration you manage to tug your phone out of your pocket. You look at the collar ID and almost choke. Its him. He's calling you. What are you going to do?

Answer it of course. He's your boyfriend after all.

You press accept and sit against the head board. It's quiet for a few seconds. He mumbles something in Russian that you can't make out. You ask him to repeat himself.

"I want to show you something." He says, cautious. You think for a minute.

"I was serious when I said there would be no more secrets. I want to show you I mean it." He elaborates. You remind him that he only said that would be the case if the two of you got back together. He's silent.

You sit there for a bit then sigh. You get off the bed and look through the closet for something to wear. He hears the noise and asks what you are doing. You tell him that if he planned to kill you then you at least wanted to die wearing something nice.

You hear him wince a bit at the joke, but he chuckles after a second.

"I'll be at your work." He says and hangs up.

You are definitely crazy.

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: Drunk last night (7/?)

Summary: The gang celebrates a very Belated birthday for Ellie. A little alcohol makes some secrets come out. And ellie drops a bomb on one of the guys.

Pairing: Ellie x Logan, Ellie x Colt

Rating: Mature

Catch up here.. and as always if you would like added to the tags.. lemme know

Song inspiration:

Over the next couple weeks Ellie and Luca spent A lot of time with both colt and Logan together and separate. Each forming a Bond with her. She knew both men wanted to have some kind of role in her life, as dad or an uncle. They decided to schedule the Paternity test, all 3 ready to know. Luca had a month left before school started, Ellie was adamant about showing here around parts of California, places that meant something to her growing up there. Logan planned for them to a race, see the track and meet the drivers. Colt planned a barbecue at his house for them, and so that Luca could meet Toby and ximena. And all 4 of them were going to the san diego zoo.

It was a Wednesday night, Ellie and Riya had their reoccurring girls night with Luca, while Darius kept Marcus.  They would have dinner, paint nails and once Luca went to bed talk about everything they couldn't in front of the kids. On this particular night Riya was acting odd, constantly looking out the windows checking her phone. Ellie started to have a panic attack,  the feeling took her back to running from the brotherhood. The doorbell rang, making her damn near jump out of her skin.

She walked over to the door with a shaky hand she turned the knob to see a girl standing there. “Stacie? Oh my god, what are you doing here?” Ellie threw her arms around the girl “I just moved here about two weeks ago and Riya invited me over. Ellie eyed her best friend “What are you up to?” Riya shrugged “Oh nothing. Ok don't get mad.” Ellie threw her hands up in the air “Oh god, what did you do now?”

“Don't get mad at me,” Stacie interrupted “I was talking to Riya about your birthday,  and how you haven't celebrated one in 6 years.”

Riya stepped in “So we want to go out and celebrate your birthday a few months late. This Friday night.” Ellie grinned “You guys really?” she hugged them both “But I can't. I have Luca.” Riya shook her head “Nope. Already taken care of. Your dad is keeping Luca. My parents are in, they are keeping Marcus for Dare and I.”

This would be the first birthday that she got to celebrate since she turned 18. Back when the path of her life took a sharp left. They spent the rest of their night chatting before the two women headed home.

That Friday night Ellie, Stacie, Riya and Marcus walked into the hopping club, they were lead back to a private area where Logan stood a broad smile on his face. “Happy birthday, Troublemaker.” He pulled her into a huge, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.  “Logan, you know its not really my birthday.”

“I know. But, we're making up for lost time. Just go with it.”

“Logan, you already know Darius and riya,” they said their hellos. “This is my friend Stacie from Langston.” stacie reached her hand out, Logan shook it “So you must be the notorious Logan I've heard so much about.” Logan cocked his brow at Ellie. “Hopefully all good things.”  he smirked.

Ellie watched the interaction between the two, a hint of jealousy twinged in her chest.

Her eyes locked with a set of Dark ones standing at the VIP entrance. “Colt?”

“Dont look so surprised, Riya invited us.” She gave him a confused look just as Ximena and Toby came in. “You guys all came?” She grinned, she was excited to hang out with them and then she spotted someone standing off to the side.  “Mona? Is that mona?” Colt shook his head. “Oh my God what are you doing here?” she wrapped her in a hug. “Good to see you too.” she could see a small smile threaten to break through her tough girl demeanor.

They all sat around the huge plush couches, a waitress bringing their drinks over. She found out Mona had gotten out of jail after spending 2 years in there. She headed east, but couldn't find a crew to settle in with. She came back to California and Colt gave her a job. After a few drinks ellie was feeling pretty giggly. She never drank more then a ritual cup of wine or two after a long week,  or a particularly rough day. Colt looked over at her as she downed another shot. “You should probably slow down, you're gonna end up getting sick.” she rolled her eyes. “I'm fine thanks.”

Riya and Darius were off on the dance floor, Toby and colt were talking by the bar.“Is that bothering you?” Mona motioned to where Logan was talking to stacie. “No. Yes. I don't know.” Ellie sighed. “Feels like the old day, huh X.” Mona let out a loud chuckle. “How so?” Ellie furrowed her brow. “Oh sweetie, you're staring at Logan while Colt cant take his eyes off of you.” Ximena placed a comforting hand on her. “Colts not starting. Hes talking to Toby.”

She motioned to the two seemingly deep in conversation.  “He may be talking. but his focus is on you.”

Ellie flicked her eyes up momentarily, sure enough locking with his deep browns. She could feel the heat filling her cheeks. “I need another drink.” she motioned for the waitress.  

After a few drinks she decided to walk up to the bar where Colt had seemingly taken up residency. “So what, you just gonna ignore me all night?” her words came out with much more  attitude than anticipated. Colt arched his brow “I'm not ignoring you.” Ellie slid up next to him, her side pressed against his. She placed her hands on the bar as if she were holding herself up and cocked her head to the sidez a mischievous smirk spread across her face. “What are you up to?” Colt cocked his brow at her.  “Noooothing.” She giggled as she bit her lower lip. “ What do you say we sneak off to the bathroom and, you know.” She gently rubbed his arm. “Ellie..”

“Is something wrong? You don't. You don't want me?” her bottom lip began to quiver.  “God No. No. Its not that. Its,” He ran his hand down his face “Jesus I cant believe im about to say this but.  Ellie you're pretty drunk. And as much as I would love nothing to make you moan my name. I don't want to do that in some nasty ass bar bathroom.” He squeezed her hand. She pulled away, angry. “Whatever Colt. You could have just told me you thought I was gross.” She sneered walking away, disappearing into the crowd.

She found a corner away from everyone,  she watched the people dancing on the floor, lost in thought.

“Enjoying yourself?” the deep voice pulling her from her drunken zone out. “Logan, Hi. Soooo kind of you to come talk to me.” she rolled her eyes. “Ok? Hey how about a dance?” He held his hand out for her. She took it stumbling as she stepped forward, breaking out in a cackle. “you alright?”

“Yuuup. Lets do this.” she followed him to the dance floor, wrapping her arms around him grinding her body against his. “Do you miss this?” She purred in his ear. “I'll always miss you ellie. But you're here now.”

She caught glimpse of Colt standing on the balcony, she could see his white knuckle grip on the railing from across the room. A thrill Rising inside of her.

She was still mad at him for leaving her behind all those years ago.  She understood Logan's reasoning but colt? He could have went with her or he could have taken her with him. They were married, you don't just leave your wife behind. And she was even more pissed he turned her down.  In her drunken state she could really care less for being mature about it.

Colts gaze was setting her on fire, a smirk played on her lips.  She turned around, her back side pressed against Logan's chest, she laid her head against it. Letting the rhythm of the music fuel her movements as Logans hands gripped her sides. “We shouldn't do this El. God you feel so good though.” Logan's voice hoarse in her ear. She continued to grind against him, she locked eyes on Colt who looked as if he was going to rip the railing right off.

She shrugged him off, she was a grown woman who made her own choices. She didnt have to answer to anyone, especially not Colt Kaneko. She turned to face Logan, now completely in the moment. His hands crept up and down her sides, sending a pleasant warmth throughout her.  It had been far to long since she had felt the strong hands of a man. “Kiss me colt.” she breathed out just inches from Logans lips. “Colt?” He pulled back, just as Colt pulled at her wrist. “Thats enough Ellie.”

She looked between the two, her head spinning. Did she really just call Logan Colt?

“We need to talk Ellie, alone.” Logan stared at her “She's not going anywhere with you. I think its time to go Ellie.” Colt snapped. “You dont have a claim on her Kaneko, who the hell do you think you are?” Logan stood his full height against him, colt easily matching him. “See pretty boy thats where you're wrong,” Colts lips twisted in a devilish smirk.  “I think its time my wife went home.” Logans eyes went wide. “You're fucking lying.” He turned to Ellie, desperately searching her eyes “Hes lying right? Tell me hes lying Ellie.” Colts wicked smirk grew wider “Go on Mrs Kaneko. Tell him.”

Ellie looked between the two, her stomach churning, panic set in. “I. I. I think im gonna..” she leaned down puking all over Colts feet.

Logan let out a wild laugh “Well, I'll let you handle that.” Colt rolled his eyes as he walked away.  “Come on El. Let's get you home.” Ellie started to walk losing her balance, colt grabbed ahold of her steadying her. He picked her up bridal style walking towards the exit. “Whats going on?” ximena question, and then looked down noticing the puke all over his legs and shoes. “Can you take ellie to her house? I'll follow you.” Ximena nodded. Colt laid ellie down in the back seat of Ximenas suv. “where are we going?” She moaned, her stomach churing. “were taking you home.” Ellie tried to sit up, panic written all over her face. “NO. My dad will kill me.” colt shook his head and chuckled “You're 25 years old Ellie,  pretty sure he wont.”

They pulled up to her house, colt grabbing her from the car carrying her to the door. He rang the doorbell, nervously awaiting her father to answer. He had never formally met him, and he wasn't sure just how he would act but he  wouldn't worry about that now. His only concern was getting Ellie home safely and into her own bed.

A few minutes later her father answered the door. His eyes widened at the sight “What happened?” he moved aside letting colt in. “She drank to much. I just wanted to.make sure she got home safe.”

“Hiiii Daddy.” Ellie groaned softly.

Her dad pointed him to her room, Colt got her inside laying her on the bed where Ellie started pulling off her dress. “wheres your pajamas.” He asked heading towards her dresser. “Hey! You'll see my underwear.” Ellie giggled.

“I've seen your underwear before, and you're in them right now.” He snorted as he rifled through her drawers. He found a tshirt and pulled it over her head. “Now. get some sleep.” He turned to walk away, Ellie already sound asleep. He walked out into the living room where her father stood. “Well, shes alseep. Sorry for bringing her home in that condition, I tried to tell her to slow down but, you know how she gets when she sets her mind to something.” Ellies dad chuckled  “Yeah. I do.” he looked down at Colts legs, seeing the colorful stain of Ellies vomit.

“She ah. Puked on me.” he gave a nervous chuckle. “I figured that. Why dont we get your shoes cleaned up. I got a pair of sweat you can change into. We can wash your clothes, but its probably best you stay over.” Colt tried to argue but his words fell short. Her dad came back and handed him a pair of sweats and pointed him towards the bathroom. He gave him a blanket and pillow and Colt laid down, his mind going a mile a minute.  

Just 6 years ago her father was investigating his father and the crew, and now he was laying in his house while ellie and Luca slept upstairs.

He woke the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee filling the air. He sat up from the couch looking towards the kitchen. “Morning Colt. Come get some coffee.” Colt stood, wiping the sleep from his eyes, he grabbed a mug and poured a cup, sitting at the table with her dad. “Thanks Mr Martin.”

“You're welcome, but its Frank. Call me Frank.” Colt nodded, the sides of his lips slightly pulling up. “So Colt, Can I ask you. what are your intentions with my daughter and granddaughter if you are her father?” Frank cut right to the chase catching him off guard.  

“Well Frank, I do not have a doubt in my mind that Luca is mine. And as far as Ellie,” He collected his thoughts “As far as Ellie,I still love her. And if she would have me, I would like nothing more then to spend the rest of my life taking care of them both.”  Frank sipped his coffee, nodding his head. “You know, I believe you. But what makes you so sure that Luca is yours?” colt sat his coffee cup down “Call it intuition. I just have a feeling and usually my feelings are right.”

They were interrupted by the sounds off footsteps coming down the stairs. “Morning sunshine.” Frank smirked Ellie groaned as she mindlessly made her way to the coffe pot, pouring a cup of coffee. She sat down at the table her eyes instantly locking with Colts. “what are you doing here so early?”

“I'll give you two a minute.” Frank got up and went up to his room.

“Your dad let me stay over. I wanted to make sure you were ok.” He smirked. Ellies eyes snapped shut remembering the nights events. “Oh god. I puked on you.”

“You did. But your dad tossed my stuff in the wash. It's all good.”

“Colt. You told Logan. Why did you do that?”

“I can't stand how he walks around so smug all the time. Like he's better because he is a semi famous race car driver now.” He scoffed.

“Colt. He isn't better than you.  You aren't better than him. You guys have got to stop this pissing contest, its been 6 years. Thats a long ass piss.” she giggled, causing colt to chuckle. “Yeah, maybe you're right.”

“We do need to talk about it though.  I was under the impression that you got the annulment Colt. Why,” She took a deep breath “Why didnt you?”

“Because When I asked you to marry me, it wasnt because we were under the stress of the what ifs.”

“Colt..”

“Dont. I don't need to hear it.”

“We were just so young. And were practically strangers now, its just. I think its better if we.”

“If we what?” He cocked his brow

“I think it's best if we get a divorce.” the words came out so rushed she barely understood them herself. But the look of absolute hurt on his face told her that he understood every word.

“You never gave us a chance. And now you're back, with my daughter and you want a divorce? Ellie we could be a family. You won't even try?”

“Colt. im sorry. Im not saying that nothing could ever happen with us. But if it does,  I want to start fresh.” She didn't try to correct him about being Ellie's father, he was hell bent on it and it would just add insult to injury.

Colt stood up Grabbing his eyes from the coffee table. “You night now believe it yet Ellie, but I'm going to prove to you that we belong together. Do what you gotta do." he walked to the door, pausing for a minute. "You know they say a drunk persons actions are a sober persons thoughts. And last night, told me alot.kore then you're letting on." He closed the door behind him. She heard his motorcycle start up and take off down the street.

She knew he was sort of right. She never did fully get over either of them. But she couldnt throw herself into a relationship with one of them, not right away. She had Luca to think about afterall.

She pulled out her phone finding Logans number.  She sent him a text, telling him she was sorry. A few minutes later she received a text back saying “I need some time. I will call u when im ready to talk.”

She had only been back a short time, but oh what a tangled web she had weaved.

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