#my dms are open for discussion

[ya-boi-haru]

...

Are all the Sherbs the same age? Like they exists roughly the same amount of time?

Soon to be related question: The eye switch thing happened, because of Quixis right? Something they did, caused it or it was a reprocussion of something they did...

It all plays into a theory I've had but could never back up...

Icaris said theyre eye has been bleeding since they were young... if all the Sherbs are the same age, does that mean that whatever Quixis did + their world falling, happened when they were young?

Is this one of those situations where "They were just a kid"

Cause, if so... ow

[onnoffwrites]

After recent events, I ended up going back to the beginning to check things, because my first reaction will always be "wtf, this is shit, why would you do this" and my second reaction will always be "okay maybe that was a bit much, maybe he's not THAT bad, maybe has a good reason-

Okay.. that doesn't rly mean anything, maybe she's just worried kaito found something he shouldn't-

Okay.. okay this looks, well maybe he's just leaving some recordings in case kaito found something he shouldn't! It's not like they can hide it forever! The room is part of the house! Kaito lives in the house-

Excuse me... What did .. what did you say...? Wha

What do you mean "designed"?

What??? What do you MEAN "designed to open after 8 years"???

I have been angry since April 12th and I've reached a point where I don't even know what to feel anymore I don't even know what to tell y'all.

Like, wow, omg, movie reveals. Other than family relations, the other thing isn't exactly anything new. We've all read Midnight Crow. We saw Kaitou Corbaeu. We've been in denial until finally reaching acceptance. For me at least. And then we spend a few years bargaining, bc surely there's a good reason kaitos not in the know. That kaito has to be KID. Surely there's a reason? Right?

Right???

At this point we don't even truly know if Jii is in the know and was acting as planned out by the parents or not. Or if he's just like kaito. Tricked, lied to, played for fools. At the very least ginzo doesn't know, so there's that. Not sure how much that would help kaito when he inevitably finds out. Because he will. The fact remains that it's quite suspicious that Jii just so happen to choose to don the KID outfit and become KID to draw out toichis murderers exactly 8 years after toichis death. EXACTLY the same amount of time that was set for that trap door portrait to open to kaito.

There's a lot of implications to think about

[greatbananaboat]

caitlyn isnt a dictator or a war criminal, y’all just can’t apply nuance to characters who are part of oppressive groups because you don’t want to see them as people and- *is shot by every caitlyn hater on earth simultaneously*

[redbowkid-27]

Commission for @bribribiology !

Thank you for being the first one to commission me!

[ashryder]

//open. int. hell's gate bar - night.

It wasn't common, but it was quiet night for once, one that Ashton was thankful for, sometimes even this level of the building gets too loud for Ash's liking, much less the rest of the floors. But he's gotten used to the job here by now after a few years, easy to do without any trouble or fuss, something that's ultimately appreciated here and kept him around. If he can get through a shift without a scene happening and make sure to deescalate others from causing a scene, that's the real goal - other than keeping the liquids flowing and people happy.

Ash had been quietly cleaning the bar top when he felt a presence join him, blues flickering up to the person with a polite, quiet on-shift smile, "can I get you anything you need?"

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)

I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.

I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.

(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)

In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.

Battle (let’s go)

For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.

And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.

(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)

To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.

Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️

(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)

If one thing had been different

Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?

(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)

(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)

There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.

(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)

To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)

(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)

Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.

Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)

Death by a thousand cuts

She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.

(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)

Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.

(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)

In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.

Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.

Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)

From the same little breaks in your soul

I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.

Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)

This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️

[whoupsqlointing]

this may be just absolute word vomit but like. hugeeee agree w ur post abt how this fanbase tends to treat queer headcanons and even canon queer rep. i genuinely thought elena was 100% transfemme because people kept calling them peter's wife and calling them she/her only but as far as i'm aware they still use just they/them in general (have not finished apotheosis yet but i'm aware of elena and how they're treated by the fandom). transfemme headcanons are treated like the end-all-be-all of representation, even when (in this fanbase at least) they're typically only slapped onto guys that are vaguely gnc and then those characters are watered down to being "the girl" and being submissive and shy or peppy and bubbly all the time. huge reason why i'm not a fan of transfemme kian headcanons because i have not seen a single one that is given any thought outside of making kian the "woman" in any ships he's put into. i've seen a little bit of discussion and thought given to transfemme ashe, but outside of a small handful of posts, he's mostly just delegated to being "the girl" of the prime defenders. i've even seen transfemme troy in fics but even that only turns him into a silly peppy girl for some reason??

part of me wants to say that some of the mischaracterization comes from. i don't want to say a place of privilege where these (typically) kids are generally accepted or tolerated irl and generally don't understand the harm that can come from their views on these headcanons and canon queer characters in general, but . it kind of feels that way sometimes!! being trans isn't just about slapping on a new set of pronouns and immediately having people treat you how you want, it's about re-examining your entire life through a whole new lens, telling people who you are, facing rejection everywhere, people trying to coerce you out of being what makes you comfortable, etc. etc. there's so much more to it than just. saying you're [insert gender here] now and having everyone be okay with it. its!!! so frustrating!! i could talk about this for hours but i fear i would just get mad. sorry for the inbox rant i need to go to work now you don't have to answer this if you don't wanna but i just wanna say. huge agree on all of this and its nice to have someone else in this fanbase who like. generally seems to care about queer characters outside of slapping new pronouns on a character and calling it a day

a lot of young people joining this fandom space have spent their teenage years growing up terminally online, for part of it even locked away from outside influences because of covid. and this might be a little america centric but many of these kids have also never really known a world in which gay marriage wasn't legal, in which the internet wasn't lit up with rainbows during the month of june. theyve spent so much time in twitter echo chambers telling them what to think about right and wrong and they haven't really gotten the real life experience to know the significance of some of the things they're saying. i dont fully blame them for it; theyre young, theyre learning and experiencing things for the first time, and with big topics like this if you arent given the proper resources it can take a long time to finally figure it all out. god knows it took me forever to get to where i am now. its just frustrating as an adult in what Should be a primarily adult space being surrounded by kids with very loud voices and opinions about very sensitive topics misunderstanding their importance completely.

i worry sometimes tackling the topic of how this fanbase treats transfemme headcanons, cos I know there is a general lack of good women characters and especially transwomen in a lot of media, and jrwi is a podcast that up until recently consisted of only men. i feel massively under-educated to be the one talking about this issue. but i also feel strongly that pushing characteristics that are often downright misogynistic onto canonically male characters is absolutely not solving that problem. and turning gnc/nonbinary/genderless characters into women isnt solving it either.

[dirty-bosmer]

hi :) ever since the remaster, I’ve been looking for more Oblivion fics, and I want to read The Illusionist part 1 and 2 but I’m a little worried about the toxic relationship, dub-con etc tags in part 2. I assume that’s related to the Lucien Lachance romance? I hope it’s okay to ask, but is it graphic? I have petty mild tastes and I’m only just branching out into darker material and not yet sure where my boundaries are. I really hope this is okay to ask! I don’t mean to be judgy or rude or anything!

Hi anon! I appreciate you asking. The short answer is "yes." I don’t want to discourage you from giving it a read, because as a writer, I obviously like it when people read my stuff haha, but I feel it would be in bad faith to just say “go for it” when all the bad things that the tags suggest will happen do in fact happen and then some. It’s dark. It’s tragic. It’s nasty. Lucien and Nim (my HoK|Silencer) have a gross, complicated, and mutually toxic relationship that only gets sexierweirder and uglier as the fic progresses. It’s not so much a Romance as it is a Romance Horror, and Lucien is definitely the Villain™ in Nim’s story despite whatever love or perversion of love might exist between them.

I’m not sure how much more I can speak to the story's graphic nature, because everyone has different limits, and my perception is rather skewed, having written them for so long. Like, they’re tame as far as my tastes go, and I regret not making them worse lol I will say, part 1 is rated T and doesn't feature Lucien or the DB until the very end. While still touching upon dark subjects, it's a lot more whimsical and light-hearted, so if you'd really like to read it, that is a pretty safe fic. No hard feelings if this is not the fic for you though. I'm well aware the stuff I write isn’t for everyone. We all have our preferences :)

Really, I do appreciate you asking so politely. I'd rather you find a fic you enjoy than have an unpleasant experience reading mine 💕

[rouge-the-bat]

honestly being on tumblr feels like yelling into a void like "PLEASE have an opinionated conversation with me! im willing to hear people out! im willing to learn! i WANT to get better if im doing something wrong!" and 97% of the time i get hate messages about asinine shit and another 2% is people very nervously coming to me on anon about something i have no idea what they could even be referring to

[kiwikiwii]

Spoiler Warning! Tho i'm sure most people know what's going on but this isn't in the anime yet so, just to be sure!

Spoiler content undercut!

And a timelapse!

[churchoflightcannon]

Thanks for keeping lightcannon alive . It feels like some days it’s so lonely being a fan

It does feel like this fandom is shrinking doesn’t it :/ I’m glad you can find some sense of community here though!

[iamf0rtis]

alright this one might get me in some online fights here on tumblr but i feel like *someones* gotta bring it up

aborting a fetus with a genetic or mental disorder because you cannot take care of them is not eugenics.

bringing a fetus into the world when you can not care for their disorders is cruel.

if you can not care for a kid, you shouldn't have it. yes, that includes kids with autism, kids with down syndrome, kids with cystic fibrosis, etc. its not eugenics, its wanting the best for yourself and any kid you bring into the world.

its not bad to abort a fetus you can not care for. its bad when you know you cant take care of that child but have it anyway.

genetic testing doesnt necessarily promote eugenics, it allows parents to make educated choices about their family and the children they are bringing into the world. frankly, i think it makes the lives of disabled people better.

if you could make sure your child doesnt suffer from a chronic disability, wouldnt you do it? i dont think thats a bad thing.

[dxxtruction]

///

[rabbit-heart4]

malevolent sketchbook page :333 i took some closeups out of habit and then remembered i dont have to do closeups for tumblr because it keeps the quality high on large images unlike instagram!!! I HATE instagram. anyway I finished part 23. I will never be the same.

[krypt-tar]

The Abnormality Girl

Inspired by @ochrearia 's writing about YS. Said that I should just go for it, so...here goes! Not bothering to edit and just going with the raw emotions that I feel as I write.

I should read more fics before I go to bed so I can learn more about the RGBFVerse YS...I want to be accurate...

In reading Girlfriend's trivia in the wiki, I learned that she looks human because of "true love". Wanted to write something about what things were like before she met Boyfriend.

I also imagine that Boyfriend after breaking up with Pico felt broken and lost, so that's why he's there. You'll see what I mean.

Featuring: The Abnormality Girl / Herself: Written by me! The Broken Boy / Yourself: Inspired by @ochrearia

A mask. A sweater. Baggy pants. A hat. A pair of gloves.

These were all essential to me. My protection, insulating my form from the outside world.

I was always drawn to it. The feeling of grass brushing against your ankles as you play at the park, bare feet and hands scrambling and sticking to thick plastic as you climb up plastic tube slides. The warmth of the sun would hit my skin and I’d feel like I could glow. The sound of other children laughing and playing made me laugh and made me want to play too.

Only, I was kept close, hand held by my mother and father who knew the world not to be so kind to demons like us.

Though they somehow managed to disguise themselves, I struggled with it greatly.

Fangs. Claws. A leathery tail. Horns. Pointed ears. A forked tongue. When it got particularly bad, I’d have wings.

I felt ugly. Misshapen. Malformed.

I was far from pretty. I didn’t need strangers to tell me that.

It was in North Carolina where I grew up. I was home-schooled, but sometimes I wondered what it would be like to be a normal kid. To wake up early, groaning about having to go to school and eating cereal while watching morning cartoons. To ride the school bus and be in class, half-listening to the lecture while daydreaming, only to be startled out of it when your name is called. Lunch rolls around, and you meet up and eat with your friends, talking about what they’re gonna do after school or planning a sleepover on the weekends. Then class would start again, only this time one of your best friends is sitting next to you and you whisper and mess around until the teacher notices.

There are so many kids who say school sucks, but when you have no one your age to talk to, maybe something that sucks doesn’t seem so bad.

I don’t think I’d do well in school anyways. Even if I did look human, I wasn’t smart. I wasn’t tech savvy, I hated math, and unless the reading was subtitles on a cartoon or an anime, I couldn’t stand it.

Mommy and Daddy said it was ok.

But I didn’t feel ok at all.

I think they knew. They tried to hide it, but I could hear them talking from behind closed doors. They were worried about me because I was alone.

So, so alone.

It was one morning when they announced that we were moving. Said it would be a nice change in scenery.

I was indifferent to it, but it wasn’t until moving day that I realized that I’d miss my home. My room. My bed.

Tearfully, I held my father’s hand as we left for Philadelphia.

The first day I was there, I decided to wander the streets. I was old enough to wander, and my parents said it would be good for me to explore and get to know the city.

I walked around for hours. Aimlessly.

I didn’t know what I was doing here. What my purpose was.

Before I knew it, I was at the top of a stairwell to the rooftop of an apartment.

That’s when I saw someone peculiar.

A human with blue hair.

He had his legs hanging off the edge, looking down.

Something about him seemed…sad. 

Lonely.

Just like me.

“…Are you alone too?” I asked.

He turned to look back at me.

A shadow was cast over his eyes, and his eyes were glazed over.

With only my eyes showing, I think he could see that mine were the same.

I tried to join him, but he seemed a little nervous about it. He didn’t want me to sit next to him I think. Because of how high up we were.

I just sat beside him.

“I-it’s dangerous-” He started, stammering on his words. “You should g-get out of here or I’ll-”

A strong breeze cut through us both.

My hat was blown away, and my heart pounded in panic as I tried to grasp at it.

I must have leaned too far forward, because I heard him yell and grab my wrist.

Before I knew it, I was hanging off the edge of the building, only held up by him.

He had to be incredibly strong. I was so much taller than him and yet…he could hold me up. He grunted as he pulled me back up, and I climbed back onto the rooftop.

We tumbled to the rooftop’s floor on the other side of the short wall. He panted, and as I was on top of his chest I could hear his heart beating rapidly.

I looked at his expression, knowing he probably found me disgusting. Abnormal.

But he had blush on his cheeks, the shadow cast over his eyes gone.

“Y-you’re beautiful.”

He whispered, looking at me in awe.

I stared at him, breathing shakily as my vision blurred. I felt my throat tighten, my heart swelling and feeling like it could burst. My stomach felt strange, like something was fluttering inside it and making my breaths unsteady.

“Hey, d-don’t cry…it’s ok…you’re ok now.”

Even seeing my horns, he found me…beautiful.

[gerrydelano]

trans horror fans go see i saw the tv glow right now if it's showing in a theater near you